The Ex Factor : Edward & Bella
by AngelAtTwilight
Summary: Edward & Bella are exes. 4 years later, fate gives them a new hand by reuniting them together in their father's joint cabin, with the assistance of their clashing friends. How will it end? Hmm. *AH, OOC, A/L, Canon/Uncanon couples.*
1. Unhappy Reunion

**The Ex Factor**

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**Edward Cullen & Bella Swan are exes who were once in a beautiful and growing relationship. On the eve of the day they planned to tell each other how they TRULY felt, unplanned events took an extreme turn to the south, and things ended on a hurtful, sour note. Though they are still in-love with each other, even four years later, they are stubborn and cannot admitt their feelings, and treat each other like crap to keep their hidden emotions at bay. Now, fate as dealt them another hand of cards, and when they get stuck in the same atmosphere together, they are forced to discover each other again, hash out the past, and expect the unexpected. Because love is a force to be reckened with... especially when it comes out and bites you in the ass. Twice.**

**--------------This story was inspired by Jimmy Eat World's "The Kill" and multiple ideas that won't ever leave my freaking head!! --------------**

**All Human. Pairings are not the usual, especially at first. Personalities are both similiar and opposite as usual. [They're angry, of course they're not going to be all happy-go-lucky!]**

**Rated Mature for Language, Mild Violence, Drinking/Illegal Activity, Sex, ETC. **

**[NOTE: BEFORE READING = Please check profile for my CHARACTER MAP art that I have written up, to see their breakdowns.] ****  
Characters include Bella, Rosalie, Jasper, Jacob [not with Bella, no worries!!], Edward, Emmett, Alice, and Tanya.**

**Will be swapping out the different POV's, to keep it interesting!! PLEASE REVIEW! **

**Now I DO WARN YOU: The first chapter is going to shock you. I'm not starting with a preface of any sorts, leaving you to wonder what happened between Bella and Edward to cause them to break up. And since I'm not, you're coming in at the beginning, where everyone is hostile. Their thoughts on each other are going to be random and mean, and there is going to be some bickering. But that's what happens when you have an ex. So be prepared that it's not the **_**cute and cuddly, oh they broke up, oh their back together and everything's peachy **_**scenario! Because that's now how it really goes down!**

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_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. Just this little story, not the characters.

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_**Could it be that everything goes around by chance, or only one way that it was always meant to be?**_

_**You kill me, you always know the perfect thing to say...**_

_**I know what I should do, but I just can't walk away.**_

_**-- Jimmy Eat World, "The Kill"**_

**Chapter One: Reunion**

**EdwardPOV**

"Edward mother-fucking Cullen, you're doing it!"

Emmett ran into my living room looking like a child on Christmas morning who had just seen Santa before he escaped back up the chimney. I couldn't help but be amused by him. I mean, being that Emmett looks more like a professional quarterback than a three year old child, but still has the same excited wide-eyed expression and large smile, it was impossible not to laugh at his energy.

I slouched into my comfortable dark blue plush recliner, rubbing my fingers over my tired face. I tried to hold a straight face when I replied to him, but it didn't work too well. "Em, I'm not doing that shit again. Do you remember what happened to me the last time?"

He plopped down across from me, shoving cheetos in his mouth. "Yes and it was fucking great!"

I shook my head at him, crinkling my forehead. "_Great_? Define how it was great."

"It got you laid, didn't it?"

I felt my side smile creep up my face, but shook it off and held my composure as I tossed the football at him, hitting him square in the chest. "That's not the point, bitch. I woke up face down on some random girl's floor, trying to figure out how the _fuck _I ended up there and where the hell my clothes were."

Emmett pretended to think for a moment, tapping his finger on his chin. "Well," he finally replied, shoving more chips in his mouth. "Sounds like a pretty fucking great night to me!"

"What are you two talking about in here?" Alice came and plopped down on my leather couch, sticking one of the side pillows between her legs as she became comfortable. She wore dark jeans and a white tanktop, with a blue-blazer vest over it. Her dark choppy hair had been perfected into beautiful little sections, and the smile on her face bounced around on the walls, causing us to smile back at her.

She _reflected _sunlight. That's just who she was.

I tilted my head at her and gave her my signature smile, tangling my fingers in my hair. "Emmett wants me to smoke out with him again before we go tonight."

"You're doing it too!" Emmett launched the football back at me, and I luckily caught it before it could do any physical damage to my shit.

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted back at him, before returning my attention back to Alice.

She was my best friend, and has been since I was three years old. Our mom's were best friends. Alice and I have always watched out for the other, and have always been there for each other when shit gets rough... Really rough, for that matter. She knows I'd kill any motherfucker who tried to hurt her, and I know she'd do the same for me. Alice may be tiny, but she can definetly pack a punch. I should know, being that I've pissed her off more than a dozen times this year.

Alice sighed and reached over Emmett's legs, snatching the bag from his crummy fingers. "If he doesn't want to Em, then don't make him."

Emmett's mouth dropped and he stared at her like she was the second coming of Christ. "Who the fuck are you, his mommy?"

"No," she replied cutely, sticking a cheeto between her lips. "I'm the girl who's going to shove my foot up your ass if you don't leave him _alone_."

"He wants to!" Emmett shouted, standing to his feet and thrusting his index finger at me. "I know you do so don't fucking deny it! _He _was the one who stood out on the balcony last night smoking a fucking cigarette and telling me he wished he had some good shit instead!"

"Well," she sighed heavily, showing him she was annoyed with his tactics. "... maybe he changed his mind."

I laughed as I watched these two bicker back and forth. An everyday event in Casa De Cullen.

Emmett glared at me, hands on his hips. "You're fucking doing it. You have to."

I shook my head, placing my cheek in my palm as I scooted down the chair, plopping my foot on the coffee table. "I don't want to do that and then _go _somewhere, man. It's cool when we're at home, but I don't want to be in some club, fucking five hours from now, plastered with strobe lights messing with my vision while some random girl is trying to hook up with me. I hate that shit. I can't pull my thoughts together to make a rational decision."

"Uh!" Emmett pouted, throwing his head back to look at the ceiling while he held his arms out. "That's the point of it!"

"Please, God, strike him dead. He's waiting on you." Alice giggled and leaned over to pat my shoulder with her tiny hand. "I've got your back, buddy. I won't let any hoes go around you, if they don't qualify."

Emmett snickered, plopping back down in the chair. "Alice, hate to break it to you, but how in the hell do you know who's good enough for Edward? Hell, _he _doesn't even know, hense the _'single' _sign blinking in bold white lights from his forehead."

Alice glared at him, before shoving another chip in her mouth. "I would know. Edward and I don't normally associate ourselves with ugly people. We only keep _you _around for entertainment value."

"No, that's why he keeps _Tanya _around. He keeps me around because I'm the fucking shit."

I just shook my head and yawned, closing my eyes and enjoying the moment.

It was so easy to let these two make all my decisions for me. It meant that I didn't have to think about it. And not thinking is my new policy, after all.

Because thinking only gets you fucked over. When you actually take the time to wonder how you got into something, like a_ perfect relationship _for example, and then you let your thoughts sink in and take over... You start feeling shit you shouldn't, and end up getting hurt in the end. And I don't want to do that shit _ever _again. So I choose to avoid it like the plague. And it's been working so far.

"Hey," Emmett said, looking around in his seat for a few seconds and then glaring at Alice's direction. "Did you just steal my cheetos?"

Alice and I exchanged a look, before she snickered and ate another. "Fucking stoner."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"Sunshine!" I heard a sing-song voice echo through my subconscious as a tiny soft sock pushed on my hip. "It's time to wake up from your nap."

I groaned, flipping my head around and throwing the covers over my body to avoid the streak of light coming from the hall into my bedroom. "Five more minutes."

"No, no, no," her voice came louder as she pushed harder on me. "The time is now."

"Rosalie," I croaked, blowing my hair out of my face. "Please stop quoting Dr. Phil."

She giggled. "I can't help it, the show is too addictive."

"He's a middle-aged man avoiding a mid-life crisis by talking to _other _middle-aged adults _having _a mid-life crisis."

"Exactly!" she replied as she yanked my warm covers off of my body. "It's so devious."

I rolled over to give her my best glare, showing her that I still didn't like to be messed with when I woke up. "I really hate you sometimes."'

She giggled, shaking her head. "You love me, sissy. Now get up." She exited my room in a skip, flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder to look back at me, making sure I didn't pull the covers back over me. Then she winked and strolled down the hall, humming to herself his theme song from his show.

Rosalie is my step-sister. Her father Phil and my mother Renee married, uniting us when we were kids. She's blonde and fierce, and has spread her personality out on me more times then she should. I mean, I guess it's a good thing, being that I've become more free-spirited and have experienced a lot of things... but sometimes I allow her to take it too far, and it comes back and bites me.

I climbed out of my bed, scratching my head as I walked down the hall toward the bathroom, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw a cozy blonde, twist locked-haired guy sitting in chair in the living room, staring back at me. I ducked into the bathroom and shut the door, my hand on my chest. _What is he doing here?!_

I walked over to the mirror and gasped, horrified by my hair sticking out each way, my makeup smeared under my eyes, and the dried piece of spit on the corner of my mouth.

"Rosalie!" I shouted hastily, slamming the back of my head on the door and praying for God to put me out of my misery. "Rose, get in here please!"

I heard a knock on the door, followed by an "It's me, let me in."

I sighed and swung open the door, glaring at her as she snuck under my arm.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, he called and said that he was going to come over here and wait, so we wouldn't have to pick him up. He didn't want you to use your gas. I didn't think you'd care."

"Ugh!" I stomped, shoving my hands in the air around my body with an expression that says _look at me! He seen this! _

I glared at her, trying to calm myself down. "I care."

She frowned and raised her hands, brushing out my tangles with her fingers. "Don't hate me. He's just so sweet and nice and I couldn't say no to him."

I curled out my lip and pouted while she worked to fix my rat's nest. "This is so embarrassing."

"Oh it is not," she replied, smacking me on my butt while I began to brush my teeth. "Jasper _adores _you. Why would he care what you looked like when you woke up?"

I glared at her through the mirror and rinsed out my mouth. "This is like a first impression!" I spat at her. "He's going to not want to be with me now. He's seen me looking like the crypt keeper for Christ's sake! Men sit there and fantasize about waking up with a girl and what she looks like with her makeup off, and here I am, becoming his worse nightmare!"

She giggled and turned on the shower for me. "I don't think he cares. The boy's smitten, Bella. Now get in the shower before I send him in here to make you _really _nervous."

I placed my hands on my hips, shooting her the evil eye. "How much time do we have?"

"Forty minutes. Then we're heading to the new club, Rainn. Should be awesome!"

While I was showering, I tried to think about the only time a man has woken up beside me. Only one comes to mind, but I wouldn't classify him as a _man_. More like an _asshole_.

Yeah, he shouldn't even have a real first name... he should just go by Asshole Cullen. It seemed to be more fitting for him.

Stupid cocky arrogant jerk.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I stood in front of my closet, towel wrapped around my hips, trying to find my favorite shirt. All the girls seemed to like it, and since Tanya wasn't going out tonight with us, I figured I might as well put it to good use.

When I finally found the dark green shirt, I yanked it out and laid it on my bed, humming to myself. Alice came through the door and sprawled out on her stomach on the bed, resting her chin on her fingers. "Favorite shirt, huh? What's the occasion?"

I shrugged nonchalantly and took out the rest of my clothes, sitting them beside the shirt. "Just feel like it, I guess."

She sighed, rolling over on her back to stare at the ceiling while her hands flopped down beside her tiny body. "Edward, you don't have to pull out a favorite shirt to get attention. Women just flock to you, like you're some kind of angel sent from Heaven. God if they only knew the truth!"

"Hey!" I shouted playfully at her, tilting my head in her direction. "That's not very nice, what did I do to you?"

She giggled, rolling over on her side. "Nothing. I just like getting you worked up."

"Well it works."

I got dressed quickly, making sure not to drop my towell from my waist until it was covered, so Alice wouldn't get any peep shows. After brushing my teeth and styling my hair, I walked back out to the room, and noticed Alice staring at me in thought. I furrowed my brows at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking.

"Your voice is raspy. You smoked, didn't you?"

I inhaled deep, unable to hide my smile. She threw her hands over her face, letting out an exhausted whine. "Edward! Why did you do that? You know he's never going to learn if you keep giving in to him!"

I threw myself on my back beside her, gathering her tiny cold hand in mine. "I know. I couldn't say no though."

"It's rather easy," she said, scooting closer to me to gather my body heat. Her tiny body never held circulation correctly. "N and O. No. Say it with me now..."

I chuckled and smiled at her, staring into her big eyes. "Alice, come o-"

She cut me off. "Noooo, say it, Edward. _Noooo_."

I chuckled, throwing my arm around her to cuddle against her, warming her body up. "Nooooo."

She stroked her fingers through my hair. "Good boy."

"I'm not a dog."

"Yes you are."

Alice and I have always had this close type of friendship. Anyone who didn't know us would most likely think we were banging, but it wasn't like that with us. We were just close, and comfortable _being _close. I could climb in bed with Alice anytime, and not feel like I had to put on a show for her. We loved and accepted each other, full heartedly. She knows I'm cocky now and compliments my moods, being the spunky confident pixie that she is.

Now, I'm not saying she isn't pretty at all. She is very much so. In fact, when we were younger, I used to be attracted to her. But after a certain girl got in the middle of that, I defined beauty to that new girl, and couldn't consider anyone else to fit that category after it was all said and done. Now girls are defined as pretty, cute, hot, sexy, easy, slutty, and challenging. But not _beautiful_. No one since her...

"What are you thinking about?" Alice whispered, snapping me out of my daydream as I refocused in on her eyes.

I took a deep breath, shaking my head before I spoke. "...She's coming tonight, isn't she?"

"Bella?"

I glared at her, wishing the name wouldn't be spoken in my presence. The mere mention of it caused my heart to sink and me to feel frustrated.

"Sorry sweetie. I'm guessing she is."

I exhaled deep, rolling over on my back again. "I'm getting fucking wasted then."

"I'm sure she won't even come near you. She hardly ever does."

"Yeah, but after tonight, I'm going to be stuck in the same fucking place as her. For three weeks. We're bound to run into each other, Alice."

"Well," she pondered, stroking her index finger into my palm. "I've heard she's dating someone. Some guy from work, or college or something. So that should make you feel better."

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard. "It doesn't."

"Yeah..." she said, pulling me up by my hands off the bed. "I know."

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

After taking a few shots of Patron tequila at the house, we left for the the club. The entire drive consisted of blaring music too loud so we wouldn't have to hear Emmett's plans of seduction, and Alice and I shared glances of annoyance as he tried to scream over the music, not very sucessfully.

We climbed out of my silver Porshe Carerra GT, which was a gift from my father Carlisle after I graduated from college, and headed toward the ropes. I hadn't gone through with Medical School straight after, being that I wanted to take a break and live awhile first. I stuck a piece of gum in my mouth, taking in the crowd and busy street lights around us. The lines were packed full with people dressed scantily and the music was banging from the walls of the three story building. There were a pack of guys staring awkwardly in our direction, and I shot them my worst glance possible.

I threw my arm over Alice's shoulder, pulling her into my side. "I really wish you would've worn something else. A black leather mini-skirt and pink flimsy tank top hardly classifies as _clothing_."

She wound her arm around my waist, giggling. "Edward, I am a grown woman."

I shook my head, continuing to glare at the dick heads. "Yeah, and I'm sure the three of them want to take you into the bathroom and show you how _grown _they think you are."

She smacked me hard on my back. "Edward Anthony Cullen, that was horrible."

Emmett shoved his body between us, tossing his arms over our shoulders. "Come on fuckers, time to party."

We both shot him a pointed look, before walking up to the ropes, to meet a black, bulky security guard that pretty much scared the horseshit out of everyone who tried to sneak past him.

"Ahh, Mr McCarty , how are you doing today?"

Emmett smirked, shaking his hand. "Good, good, Albert, thank you. This is my buddy Edward, and his-bitch-of-a-best-friend-slash-prissy-roommate, _Mary_-Alice."

Alice smacked him on the back of the head and called him a dick, and then smiled graciously at Albert. "Hello." she blinked at him.

Albert chuckled, taking in her outfit with a large smile. "How do you do?"

"Fine."

I cleared my throat, bringing his attention back to our faces and not at her legs. His eyes locked on mine, and I smiled at him, not saying a word.

"Well, Emmett," he replied, snapping his head back to him. "You all joining us tonight?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Emmett responded as the rope was lifted for the three of us, causing the line wrapped around the building to cuss at us. Emmett just smirked and flipped them off as we followed him in.

The three story club was definetly a sight to see. Emmett's parents own ten of them down the Seattle strip, making him a party child since, well, birth. This one had built in waterfalls down the walls, and a glass dance floor on the bottom story that made you feel like you were dancing above the water. It was three stories tall, and each floor had hand-made caves that people could climb in and dance around. Some were even filled with water, like in the tropics or some shit. There were lava bars in every direction, with bartenders that flipped bottles around like a circus act. Only the hottest songs hit the speakers, and Emmett normally helped his dad pick the joints. After all, he was going to inherit all of it one day. Might as well learn it all while he can.

Women's hair were smacking around their tiny bodies as they stood on tall pivots, dancing high above the crowd and showing all the men their underwear, or lack their of. There were some on bars. Some on the steps. Basically fucking everywhere. There were even decorated sky swings stringing down the center of the third story, dangling all the way to the first, and had women acrobats swinging around. There were women in glass boxes dancing around to tease the customers. There were neon lights, strobe lights, strap lights...

Emmett's dad is a fucking genious. This is one of the hottest new clubs in the country. And it's only been opened for a few weeks.

We all nodded to the beats of the hip-hop mixed version of _Cupid's Shuffle_. It always got everyone moving.

We slammed down a few more shots, and I couldn't help but feel the electric current surrounding my back with the last heated one. Which meant _she _was close by. It didn't matter how many times I've tried to turn off that fucking switch, it didn't work. It was somehow super-glued in 'on' position.

I inhaled deep, ordering another one. Because if I was going to have to face her, I might as well be fucking smashed in the process. And Emmett was up in one of those caves, dancing with three Chinese girls. No help.

After taking that double, I turned around, and found her sister walking in through the crowd, holding a hand behind her. Rosalie wore black jeans and a green silk tank top, her blonde curly hair flowing around. Then came Jacob Black on Rosalie's right, which is Bella's fucking shadow, wearing his typical black shirt, dark jeans, and black jacket. He had always been around her, usually on his cell phone, trying to watch over her every move. Like he was a fucking body guard and she was a celebrity.

Then came a guy I didn't recognize. He was tall, had twisty blonde and brown hair past his eyes. He was attractive, I guess, but had _pussy _written all over his face. I could definetly take him, no problem. The loser wore a black t-shirt and jeans, looking casual, and obviously not good enough for her.

Then, behind him, _she _stood, with her hair moving with the wind from the waterfall crashing behind her and the fans from the club. Like a model.

My breath hitched as I secretly took in her appearance. _She sure has grown up_, I thought to myself. She had her long chestnut hair with twisty curls streaming down over her pale shoulders. She had makeup on, which I seen her wear before, but now it was like..._on_. Like the other girls in the club, not that she compared to any of them. She wore a dark blue tank top, with the top part of it squeezed and pushing her breasts high to taunt my stupid ass. The bottom of the silk shirt flowed loosely over her small frame. She wore dark jeans and -- wait a second -- _heels_? Bella was coming into a dance club wearing heels? _When in the fuck did she become so fucking coordinated? _

I shook my head, turning back toward Alice, who was talking to a stranger with long black hair. I rolled my eyes and yanked her to me, glaring at him. "I don't fucking think so," I spat at her. "He's old enough to be your father."

She inhaled deep and tilted her head at my direction so I could see her annoyed expression.

"I don't care," I chuckled, soaking it in. "He could rape you or some shit. I'm not in the mood to save your ass tonight."

"Oh _Edward_," she said, pushing me back. "You need to quit it! My gosh!"

I gave her an expression that showed I didn't care what she thought. "You know I'm right," I replied to her, trying to ignore my heart pounding out of my chest since I saw you-know-who here. "So just deal with it."

She smiled at me and swallowed down her orange drink, slamming the empty cup on the bar. "Oh yeah?" she replied icily as she licked her lips. "Well _Bella _is standing five feet behind you, dancing with a tall gorgeous guy. Deal with _that_."

I felt my eyes tighten into a line as I hesitantly glanced over my right shoulder. There she was, my ex girlfriend whom ruined my life, practically having sex with that curly haired motherfucker in the middle of the glass dance floor. She had her hips shaking, her right leg between his, her arms around his neck, her hair flipping around on her back... She looked sexy, I'm not going to lie. I'd never seen her dance in public before, being that she always said she was too afraid to humiliate herself. Yeah, well she isn't doing that now.

I growled loudly to myself and turned back to the bar, ignoring the three blonde girls to my left who were staring at me and whispering to each other. The last thing I needed was to see _that_. I mean, why couldn't she just stay home within the privacy of her bedroom if she was going to do that shit with _that _dick head?

Then, a thought came to my mind that only comes out when I'm jealous... I might as well get fucking even with her. _Bitch_.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Jasper really is an incredible dancer. It almost amazed me. Being that he is so sweet and down to earth, having manners and respect, I had no idea he could move like _this_. It was almost too much for me to handle, _not that I didn't need to release some tension_. It'd been ages since _that _happened.

The speakers thudded with Ciara's "Go Girl" bouncing off the walls of this noisy club, causing us to move our hips more seductively. Jasper's hands caressed my hips as he smiled down at me, soaking me in his eyes. He sometimes had this ability to reflect his emotions onto me. Onto everyone, for that matter. Anytime that he was in a good mood, or a sad mood, or a sexy mood -- like now -- it made me feel the same way.

I was thankful Rosalie showed me how to dance last year. Because the way Jasper followed my every move, I couldn't help but enjoy myself. I smiled back at him, tangling my left hand in his curls. _Maybe this _could _work_, I thought to myself. _You just have to relax a little and let it happen, Bella. Jasper's a good guy._

Then as soon as I thought that, I felt my stomach twist as I glanced over Jasper's right shoulder. "Let's Go" from Trick Daddy was blending through the speakers.

It was _him._

He had a blonde girl with her ass pressed against his crotch, bent over with his hand on her head and his other hand on her hip holding her against him. He worse a dark green shirt that matched his eyes, denim blue jeans, and his hair was spiked into a messy dissaray of bronzed delight. I felt my heart stop as I glared over at him, watching him put all his focus into that stupid skank.

"Bella?" Jasper asked. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, shooting daggers into that blonde girls head. It wasn't _Tanya_, thank God. I'd hate to have to kill that nasty bitch in the middle of this club. But still, for Edward to go for the typical slutty yet pretty blonde girl, it just disgusted me more.

They looked like they were having sex!

I inhaled deep, tightening my grip around Jasper's neck and forcing myself to focus on him instead of the _prick _behind him.

Jasper smiled again, causing me to reflect it back. "You look so beautiful," he whispered in my right ear.

"Thanks."

No matter how hard I tried though, I couldn't help but glance peeks over at him. The current surrounded me at that moment, knocking me over almost. It always came around when Edward was around me, and annoyed the hell out of me when I couldn't escape from it.

I closed my eyes, getting lost in the music.

_Just ignore him, just ignore him, you've moved on, so ignore him. _

_He doesn't exist._

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

I made the mistake of telling Rosalie that Edward was here.

Now all she wants to do is go kick his ass. So here I stand, chugging down drinks with my friends while holding onto her wrist, telling her he's not worth it, and to just ignore it.

"Not _worth _it?" she shouted back at me after she swallowed down her Vodka shot. "How so? Because I think he deserves more than just a four-inch platform heel in his dick hole."

"Who's not worth it?"

I turned to find Jacob removing his cell phone from his ear long enough to swallow down the double shot I ordered for him three minutes ago. Jacob has been my friend for years. He comes out with me, but keeps an eye out for me, to make sure no one tries to do anything stupid.

And he cannot stand Edward, or his best friend Emmett.

I shot Rosalie a glare, telling her with my eyes not to mention Edward. She just inhaled deep. "Edward."

"Rosalie!" I shouted, my look growing fiercer.

She just shrugged, ordering us another drink. "I don't _care _if he knows. I hope he squashes the mother fucker into a million pieces. He broke my sister's heart."

Jacob slid between Jasper and I, looking down at me. "Edward's here?"

I swallowed hard and nodded slowly. "Yeah, but he hasn't said anything to me, so don't do anything at all, all right?"

"Where is he?" Jacob replied angrily, ignoring my last sentence.

"No, Jacob, I said not to bot-"

"Oh there he is." Jacob stormed away from the bar, in the direction of Edward and friends, and that stupid skanky girl, with her three blonde friends backs turned to us.

I ran after him, almost tripping on these stupid heels. "Jacob! No! Please don't!"

Jacob jerked his wrist from my hand, speeding up his pace. I heard Rosalie and Jasper following behind us, Jasper asking her who were were going to find. Rosalie was informing him of all the dark and uncomfortable details, while my heart continued to pound out of my chest. I didn't want to be this close to Edward tonight. Didn't want to deal with him, or the stupid electric current that was yanking me in his direction.

"Jacob!" I shouted again, but it was too late. Edward turned around, drink in his right hand, his left hand around one of the girls waist, as Emmett nodded to him that someone was behind him. Edward's eyes focused in on me first, then up at Jacob, with the stupid cocky attitude that expressed he expected Jacob to show up.

"Yes?" Edward replied as he lifted his head up at Jacob, waiting on him to do something.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Jacob spat at him. "Did you know we were going to be here?"

Edward laughed as he leaned back, obviously as drunk as the rest of us. "Do you think I give a _shit _if you guys are here?" he replied back at him. "I don't fucking think so."

I inhaled deep, jerking on Jacob's wrist. "Let's go," I gritted to my teeth, yanking harder.

"Well I do find it quite obvious that you are here, the same night as her."

Edward smirked, dropping his hand from the blonde girl and swallowing down his drink while he shook his head. Then the bar chair was flipped behind him and everyone stood up fast to their feet while Edward got in Jacob's face, steaming down at him like he was trying to burn fire through his skull. "I don't give a _fuck _that Bella is here, Jacob. I didn't come here for her. Didn't come here to piss anyone off. I'm here to hang out with my friends, end of story. What she does is her own _fucking _business."

"Okay!" Alice shouted, moving to squeeze her way between them, her hands on Jacob's chest to push him backward. "I think it's time we go our separate ways, guys."

Jacob knocked her hands off of his chest. "Get the fuck off me bitch."

"What the fuck did you say?" Edward shouted, moving Alice to his side so he could push Jacob back. "Don't you fucking touch her like that!"

"I can touch her however the fuck I feel like, _dick_. You're the one who needs to take some fucking manners on how to treat girls, not me."

Edward smirked, shaking his head. _God, he was so arrogant._ "Jacob, I suggest you take a step back and rethink your actions before you get hurt."

Before Jacob could talk, I pulled from Jasper's grip and stood between Edward and Jacob, pushing Jacob back. "Come on, Jacob. Edward's a dick, you made your point. He's not going to hurt me, let's go."

"So you think you still need to send your geeky best friend to protect you?" Edward spat down at me, causing me to whip my head around and glare at him. "Still not big enough to say how you feel yourself?"

I felt the smoke coming from my ears as I glared up at his perfect -- _dickhead _-- smirk. "I can handle my own, Edward, thank you very much. I'm just trying to not let him kill you. I cannot control how Jacob feels about you, Edward. He has a mind of his own."

"No he doesn't!" Edward replied. "Jacob's only been about one thing when it comes to you, and you know _exactly _what that is."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Edward's expression sunk over my face, as if he were saying think about it.

I inhaled deep, relaxing my mood for a second. "Well, _Edward_, it appears you haven't changed at all, have you? Still worried about everyone else when you should be worried about _you_."

He shook his head, chewing his gum in silence while he thought.

I used to think it was sexy to watch him chew his gum. Or smoke. Or drink. Or breathe.

Now I was just annoyed with him and his cocky fucking crooked smile he was giving me right now.

He inhaled deep, taking a step back to clear some more space between us. "Bella, can we talk for a second?"

I studied his eyes, trying to figure out why in the hell he would want to talk to me.

"Just for a second?" he stated again, tilting his head to give me his best poker face.

I closed my eyes, wishing I never told anything to Rosalie, so I wouldn't have to face him.

"Fine," I exhaled. "For one second."

I sent an apologetic glance to Jasper as he picked up the chair Edward launched earlier, and he nodded for me to go. I watched as Emmett busted out laughing when I followed Edward to one of the empty caves in the corner of the club, and rolled my eyes at him.

When we stopped inside the cave, I caught a glance that his eyes were glazed over. "Well," I began, shaking my head. "Still smoking, huh?"

He scoffed, looking down at his feet. "Yeah. Look, Bella, I didn't come here to stalk you or anything. Alice told me you may be coming since Emmett's dad sent ya'll an invitation to the third week opening, and I thought we could easily avoid each other, being that this _is_ a three-story club. But you need to calm Jacob down before I beat his ass into the ground. Because I'm really in the fucking mood to do it right now."

My heart was pounding at my chest as I watched him lick his lips, waiting on my response.

I cocked my head up at him, rounding my shoulders. "I'll do what I can," I replied shortly at him. "Are we done here?"

He shook his head while he checked me out slowly. "You've grown since I saw you last."

"It happens. Are we done here?"

"Who's that guy with you?"

I inhaled and held my breath. "Why does it matter?"

"Curiosity, mainly."

"He's a friend."

"_Just _a friend?" He let his tongue dance on his bottom lip as he kept his eyes on me. _God, he knew just what to do to push my buttons._

I glared up at him, throwing my hands on my hips. "Yes, _just _a friend. For now."

He smirked, thinking about my words. "Quality choice, Bella. Where'd you find him at? The toy section in K-Mart?"

I shoved him back hard, pissed at that remark. "What the hell is your problem, Edward? Do you have to hit a certain sarcastic-comment mark or something? Can't shut up until you reach a certain word limit?"

He laughed, pretending I wasn't phasing him. "Oh my God, we're going to have so much _fun _these next three weeks. Just you, me, and all our wonderful friends shacked up in a cabin somewhere."

I took a step back, eyes wide, hand on chest. "You're not going to the cabin!"

"Yes, I am. Being that Carlisle and Phil purchased that winter house _together _so our families could _share_, I most definetly think I _am _going to be there."

Right before all my anger could come out, a blonde snuck between us, placing her hand on his chest. .

"There you are!" she shouted, and my heart began to do double time as I dragged my eyes toward her head. "I have been looking all over for you! Emmett texted me, telling me to meet ya'll here, and I couldn't find you. But _here _you are!"

I waited until she looked at me, tilting her head and smiling at me in a snooty way.

"We're talking, _bitch_." I spat at her, praying looks could kill.

Tanya smirked, wrapping her arm tight around Edward's waist. "Not anymore," she replied, her left eyebrow raised as she glared back at me.

I inhaled deep and curled my fingers into firsts as Edward pulled away from her, studying my expression.

I was about to knock the bitch out.

He knew it.

"Uh," Edward found his voice, pushing her lightly to behind him. "Tanya, go wait over for me with Emmett. I'll be over there in a second."

I watched as her arm wrapped under and then around his, and placed her hand over his chest. "No, Edward, I want to stay here with you. I've _missed _you."

I threw myself at her, only to be caught by Edward, but I did get one punch to the top of her forehead.

She shouted at me as Edward lifted me from the ground and pushed her back with his free hand, yelling for her to go wait over there again.

I was kicking and screaming at her, calling her every name under the sun. I wanted to kill her.

"Bella stop it!" He shouted, placing me on the ground and holding my shoulders tight while he pinned me against an exit door.

My breathing was out of control as I glared up at him. "Get. The. Fuck. Off of me!" I shouted, trying to pull away from his hard grasp.

"I'll let go when you calm the fuck down!"

"I don't have to calm down!" I yelled back at him. "She needs to get her fucking ass beat!"

He glared down at me, inhaling deep and not replying.

I could tell our blood pressure was up, my heart pounding rapidly out of my chest.

Once I was calm enough to stand, he released his grip on me. "Bella, she does it to piss you off."

With that comment, I turned around and stormed off.

"Bella, wait!" Edward shouted after me, and I felt two hands on my wrists, yanking me back to him.

"What the hell do you _want_, Edward?!" I screamed, whipping back around at him, the anger boiling up so high that I was almost to tears.

He glanced down at me, his mouth open, with no response.

"Say it!" I shouted up at him, refusing the shaken tear to fall down my right eye.

"I didn't know she was coming here." His voice was shaken and deep. Calm. He was trying to be honest.

I jerked my wrists away from his palms, almost knocking myself over by the alcohol intake. "Like it fucking matters."

"It _does _matter, Bella. I wouldn't have asked to talk with you if I knew she was com-"

"It doesn't matter, Edward!" I cut him off, trembling in my stance. "You're with Tanya. Big deal. Like I didn't _fucking _know that, Edward. I knew it all along!"

Edward shook his head, reaching to grab my hands again but I pulled away too fast, glaring down at him.

"Don't touch me!" I shouted at him, wishing he would just go away.

Edward froze, his hands in the air in a surrender motion. "Okay. I won't touch you. But listen, _truth_, okay? I didn't know she was coming. I'm sorry."

I glared into his piercing green eyes, reflecting every thing he done to me in the past. "Yeah," I replied, my voice shaken and low. "Well it's a little too fucking late for apologies, Edward. Plus, she's here now, isn't she?"

He nodded, looking just as frustrated. "Yeah. She is."

I scoffed, shaking my head as the alcohol blurred my focus. "Go be with your _girlfriend_, Edward. We all know that's where you want to be, after all. She's what you chose, remember?"

Edward's eyes zoned in on me and he was silent for almost an eternity, it felt like.

"You're right," he exhaled, shaking his head as he threw his arms to his sides. "You're right, Bella. Tanya's what I want. How could I be so _stupid_."

And with that final knife wound to the heart, I smacked him right across the face, letting the tears fall as I glared up at him.

He stood steady with the red mark on his cheek, staring at me with an unrecognizable expression.

I turned, running back to Jasper, begging him to get me the hell out of the club.

He obliged, covering me with his arms and soothing me as we walked out.

_Why did I let him get to me?_

_Why did I go and talk to him?_

_And why in the hell didn't I knock that stupid bitch on her ass when I had the chanec?_

Because I'm stupid, and broken still. Four years later.

Nothing has changed.

And I don't see it changing anytime soon.

_----AUTHOR's NOTES----_

**Phew! This was a hard one to get started. Being that I've been writing "A Love With No Limits" [EB's honeymoon] and "The Search For Myself" [Bella being the Vamp, Edward the human], I decided that I really needed a break from the lovey-dovey chapters I had surrounded myself with [voluntarily, of course] and just really have fun, give twists, get down and dirty, and CREATE SOME DRAMA!!**

**  
So there we go, Chapter 01! Keep the reviews and compliments/suggestions/positive feedback coming in! They are always welcome. **

**Stay tuned, because you'll never know what to expect with this story!**

**ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS/RESPONSES WILL BE POSTED HERE AT THE BOTTOM:**

**xxxxx**

**Sincerely, Angela.**


	2. Traffic Jam

PLEASE REVIEW! **Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit] for volunteering to be my wonderful Beta on this, and give Jen a [much deserved] break!  
Katie, you're seriously like my mirror image, and I know we're going to have a blast with this! I love that we share the same energy! (& sleep schedules!)

**NEW**NOTE: Go check out the CABIN pictures I've selected for this story!!  
Also the songs that inspire each chapter will be linked VIA YouTube as well, that way you guys can listen to them while you're reading the chapter. They are ALL in my profile!

**-- Please keep in mind that when we're in different POV's and you hear gossip, you're not hearing the whole story, and the pieces you ARE hearing may not be the whole truth, just what that person got out of it. So, again, keep that in mind. All we be exposed in due time. --**

**Chapter Two: All I can say is: do you remember the expression, "It has to get worse before it can ever get better"? Includes flashback/dream sequences.**

**It's four years since graduating high school, where their relationship ended. So it's four years of hostility and anger to make up for, so I really want people to understand that this isn't going to be a quick resolve. :D I'd also like to mention AGAIN that as of right now, there isn't any CANON pairings. I'm sure there will be some but right now, everyone is single or considering people. There WILL be out-of-nowhere hook ups because that's how real life surprises you, so beware!! Nothing too crazy, no worries. Now enjoy the chapter!**

**Multi-POVs in this story, all leading to important details in the past! Questions asked in reviews regarding ages, and everything else in between are at the bottom of the chapter.  
**-----

_Disclaimer: _I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**And if this is what it takes just to lie in my mistakes,  
and live with what I did to you, all the hell I put you through...  
... This is to a girl who got into my head, with all those pretty things she did,**_

_**Hey, you know you keep me up in bed?  
This is to a girl who got into my head, with all those fucked up things I did,  
hey maybe, baby, you could keep me up in bed, my Konstantine.  
Spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen  
and I said... "Did you know I missed you?"  
...Oh God, I miss you.  
-- Something Corporate, "Konstantine"**_

* * *

**Chapter Two: Traffic Jam**

**EdwardPOV**

**  
**_"Dude, how do you know that Bella is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with? How can you decide that being in high school?"  
_

_"I don't know!" I exclaimed as we browsed through the lighted window frames_,_ "I can just feel it, you know? I know that sounds so cheesy and typical, but it's the truth. Bella makes me feel different. She looks up at me the same way that I look down to her... our expressions match, you know? Like we're thinking the same things at the same time..." I paused for a second, replaying some moments in my head, smiling to myself.  
_

_"Dude," Emmett said, trying to ruin my mood_, "that's _just _weird_. It's not cheesy or typical, it's _suicide_. You're going to waste your life if you tell her how you feel. We don't say those three words when we're young, it fucks everything up! You know, it'll be sad, because you're going to end up in a shack somewhere in fucking _Timbuktu_ with fifteen kids asking yourself where your life went..."  
_

_"You know," I continued, trying to ignore him_,_ "Bella's never been afraid to be herself around me. She's funny, she's lighthearted, _and she's_ incredibly beautiful, almost too beautiful that it makes my chest swell... She's clumsy, which I adore... When she gets sick, she allows me to take care of her. If she needs help with her homework, she asks me. If she's having a problem, no matter what it may entail, she comes to me. And do you know why?" I stopped, raising my eyebrows in his direction.  
_

_Emmett stood there like a deer in headlights, his hands out in the air. "Why_," he _asked sarcastically_, "she _wants to continue dating you so she can become more popular here?"  
_

_I smirked, shaking my head_, "no _you fucking idiot. Because she _loves _me man, I can feel it... We've been together going on two years now, and I know we haven't disclosed our feelings yet, being that we've taken it slow and safe... _"_ I stopped in front of the one I liked the best_;_ one that I felt fit her personality. I bent down to examine the silver and blue colors, the intricacy of it all. "... _But _sometimes," I continued, my voice a faint whisper_, "...it _just comes to you. Like it's destined."_

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

Beep Beep! Beep Beep! Beep Beep!

I groaned loudly, my head banging like a drum as the events from last night found their way back into my memory, along with that dream of my past. My stomach was making a slight churning sound, and my chest felt like it was on fire from the alcohol intake. My hand bounced around the nightstand, and once I retrieved the annoying alarm, I grabbed it and yanked the cord out of the wall. "No," I panted into the pillow as I threw the covers over my head, "I really don't feel like dealing with this shit for three fucking weeks..."

"Oh, no worries, it won't be th-"

Ahh!" I screamed, falling off the edge of my bed. I struggled to grab the sheets, and popped my head up the side. "Alice!" I shouted breathlessly, my heartbeats matching the strums in my head, "what the hell are you doing in my bed?!"

She giggled, stretching out in her baby blue pajama set, "you asked me, remember Edward?"

I crawled back into the bed moaning, throwing a pillow over my head to block out any chance of light. "No. I do not."

She yawned and threw my covers back over her body, nestling into her warm spot, "you passed out as soon as we got out of the club. I had to drive that freakin' machine of a car you call _yours _home, while you laid passed out in Tanya's lap in that tight-ass backseat. We had to carry you inside the apartment building, Emmett and I, while Tanya was freakin' screaming at us, asking us why in the hell we let you drink so much, and what you were doing with Bella."

I let out a wail, tiny flashbacks of my dream sneaking into my head, but I shook them away.

"So," she continued, closing her eyes, "we finally got your heavy ass up to the door, when you woke up. I asked Tanya to get into your pockets and grab the key so we could unlock the door, and you completely freaked out on her.... 'Get away from me bitch!'" she began to mock me, "'you started this whole fucking mess, don't touch my pocket! Don't touch me; your hands go nowhere near my pocket anymore!'" she giggled, before returning to her voice. "It was quite funny. Tanya was almost in tears. So we finally got you inside and threw you in this bed, and you yelled for Emmett to kick her out of the house again -- like you did last week when you got smashed, may I remind you-- ...And then Emmett and I were trying to get your shoes off, and you started begging me to stay in here with you. You said you didn't feel good and that you didn't want to be alone..."

She rolled over to wipe a free piece of my hair from my forehead.

I smiled at her sourly, before rubbing my face in the covers. "So," I mumbled, not lifting my face, "explain to me why I am naked then? I didn't..." my voice trailed off, as my stomach began to do flips. _Oh God._

"No," she giggled, "you didn't try anything too dramatic with me this time. You were just really hot and clammy; I think you had about twenty shots or something last night. I checked your temperature, it was over one hundred.

So I ended up having to drag you in the shower to get you to cool off. Yes, there were some slight groping, but you weren't calling me by my name, so I didn't take it to heart. Then it was just too hard to get you dressed again... hence the no clothing option."

I inhaled deep in humiliation. "...I _groped _you?"

She laughed again, stretching her tiny body out, "yeah. It was kind of nice."

"Oh my God, Alice, I am so sorry."

"Like I said, you didn't call me _Alice _last night, so I couldn't really enjoy it..."

I thought for a few seconds, my fingers scratching my head as I ignored my rapid heartbeat and my intestines squeezing together. "Dare I ask whose name I spoke?"

She scoffed, looking at me with a tight expression. _Take a guess_, she thought.

"Oh. Never mind, I don't think I care to know..."

And with that thought, I wrapped the sheet around me and ran for the bathroom, my stomach unable to handle another moment.

_Fucking alcohol.  
_

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Aww, poor Edward. Hearing him get sick in there is not a pleasant way to wake up.

I crawled off of the bed and knocked on the door, holding my breath. "Edward?" I asked hesitantly. "Are you all right? Can I get you anything?"

Emmett burst through Edward's bedroom, dressed in a Patriots jersey with a football in his hand, and threw himself sideways onto the bed. "I know what you can give him."

I cocked my head in his direction, eyeing him down. "And what is that, might I ask?"

He smirked, curling his fingers into a fist and bringing it to and from his mouth, his tongue poking on the inside of his cheek.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Very funny."

He took a glance around the bedroom, his eyes fixating on the sheets that were messed up. "Did you sleep in here with him again?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and bounced back in his direction, with a smile on my face. "Yes, _Emmy_, I did. He asked me to. Is that all right?"

"I don't know, _AlleyCat_, did you get any?"

I picked up one of the pillows and threw it at him, hitting him on his left ear. "Get out of here! Sicko!"

He laughed and climbed off of the bed. "Fine, fine. Just wanted to say to hurry your asses up. We leave in twenty, Cullen!"

"Shut up!" Edward groaned from the bathroom.

"See what happens when you force him to get high and drink large quantities of alcohol?" I sneered at him, pushing him out the doorframe.

"No, no!" he shouted back at me, forcing his feet to stick so I ran into him when he stopped moving, "_I _didn't do that to him. Genius over there got wasted thanks to his hooker ex-girlfriend pestering him with all that crap she did last night. Like she had any right! She's such a hypocrite!"

"Shut up!" Edward echoed again, as the toilet flushed. "God, Emmett, I don't need this shit right now."

Emmett smirked, playing with a tendril of my black hair, "what do you put in this to make it stick out like this? Edward's happy juice?"

I punched him in his stomach, and pushed him back so I could walk down the hall. "I don't know why he puts up with you."

"Yes you do. Everyone loves me."

"No, everyone _pities _you, Em."

He smirked, following me in the kitchen, "guess what? Tanya's on her way over."

I tilted my head, giving him an annoyed expression. "Why can't she just stay home and make us all happy?"

"Correction," he said before taking a swig out of the milk jug, "if Tanya stays home, she makes _you _happy. Hmm, I wonder why. But if she _comes_, then Edward gets even with Bella, which is what she deserves."

"You don't even know how Bella is anymore, Emmett. She's grown up by now, I'm sure."

"No, she's most likely still the same pitiful little shy girl, who falls on her face every five seconds, looks up to Edward like he's some angelic creature, and talks while she looks at her feet. Not to mention... yeah. I'm not going to go there..."

I furrowed my brows at him, "she didn't seem to be any of those things last night."

"Yeah well..." he shrugged, walking around the counter and flopping down on the couch, "I'm sure she wants to prove to Edward how bad she _doesn't _need him."

I sat down next to him, flipping on the television. "I can't believe we're all going to their father's joint cabin this weekend up in Windsor for Christmas Break. I realize that it's the only time the cabin is open to them, since Phil and

Renee occupy it most of the time... And that we do it every year, but not at the same time. I mean... Edward and Bella are so stubborn..." I sighed, shaking my head. "They're going to kill each other."

"I know," he smirked, throwing the football in the air, "it's going to be great! Drama fucking central! And me sitting back, watching it all. This is four years in the making, baby!"

I twisted my body in his direction, confusion on my face, "Em, do you get some type of cheap thrill out of watching people drown in misery?"

He cocked his head, making a tsk sound, "only when they bring it on themselves. I stay drama free, baby. It's the best way to be."

"You're an idiot."

"You're a pixie."

"Shut up!" I threw my pillow at him.

He threw it back at me. "Well you are!"

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"Oh my _God_," I groaned, my body feeling like rusting metal. I opened my eyes, looking at the television sideways. _Why am I in the living room?  
_  
I whined to myself, closing my eyes and putting my hand to my heated forehead. I felt the couch moving underneath me, and popped my eyes open, my heart pounding in my chest. I shot up, finding Jasper with his hands up in the air, like he was on _COPS_.

"Jasper!" I shouted, clutching my chest, "wh-how did you...Um..." I closed my eyes, feeling dizzy from getting up too fast.

I heard him chuckle as his hands dropped to his lap, "you asked me to stay here with you, and fell asleep on my lap. I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh."

I slowly opened my eyes again, wincing as they adjusted to the light from outside. "What time is it?"

"It's around noon."

I groaned, falling backward against the cushions. "I cannot believe I'm going to have to face that jerk for three whole weeks in _my _father's cabin."

"No, it's Phil _and _Carlisle's cabin, remember? Joint ownership?" Rosalie piped in, sitting in the recliner across from me with a bowl of cereal in her hands. "And since Renee and Phil are going to Europe this month for Christmas, it was the only time available. I didn't know Edward had all ready scheduled it with Carlisle, and he tried to apologize to Dad, but of course, he said it was fine. That we were all adults and could handle this situation. So you're going to have to just ignore him, Bella."

I inhaled, covering my face, "I don't _want _to ignore him. I don't want him there at _all_!"

"Aww, poor baby."

I rolled my eyes at her, letting out a slight growl of frustration.

"Don't worry," Jasper answered, pulling me over to his side to throw his arm over my shoulders, "he won't get to you. I won't let him."

I smiled into his chest, absorbing his warmth, "thanks, Jazz."

"Anytime," he replied, kissing me on the top of my head.

"Go get ready Bells!" Rosalie shouted at me, flipping through the channels as she hung her leg over the arm of the chair. "Everyone is going to be here in a few minutes. We're driving up there together."

Letting out another noise of frustration, I pouted and climbed off of the couch, stubbing my toe on the edge of the coffee table.

I heard Jasper and Rosalie laughing at me under their breath.

"It's not funny," I grumbled, hopping toward the hall. "I'm creating voo-doo dolls with your names on them. Both of you."

"Oh, you love us!" Rose shouted at me, throwing a pillow from the couch at my butt as I walked into my bedroom.

"Only when it's cold enough outside," I replied, "that's the only time I love animals."

"Ha ha, very funny!"

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Edward is an _idiot_. I don't know how else to explain it. The dude is my buddy, and I love him to death, but sometimes he just doesn't think. I used to find it humorous and entertaining when he'd do certain things, but lately, not as much. I'm getting blamed for it, and whether people like to admit it or not, I'm not normally the source of the problem. Okay, sure, I instigate things. Once in awhile. Who doesn't? Everyone enjoys some drama around them, I think it's healthy. But I would never suggest something that could emotionally or physically hurt someone, especially someone that is my friend...

Four years ago, Edward hit a massive low. I've never seen anyone spiral down the way that he had, so quickly. He was pretty bad. Doing stuff_ I_ wouldn't even do, and that's saying something. His immune system crashed, he ended up in the hospital at one point. He still has trouble sleeping, and he _hates _to sleep by himself.  
So now, when people ask me why I encourage him to do stuff with me, the way I see it is... why not do things with someone you trust, and stuff that's a lot safer than what he was doing when he was broken? All I do is smoke and drink. It's a hell of a lot safer than what he had done.

Of course, I'd never say any of this shit out loud. I'm not that stupid. I don't let anyone see me vulnerable, besides Edward, and that in itself is rare. I don't like to feel exposed.

So here I am, throwing on my mask for the day, leaning against the wall of our apartment building and waiting for them to get their stinkin' butts out here. Alice came out first, dragging a hotel cart with four suitcases and a trunk, not to mention a purse that looked like a diaper bag, and a clutch.

"Alice," I smirked, chuckling despite her struggles to get the cart off the curb, "you do realize that there will be a washing machine at the cabin, right? I mean, you don't have to bring your entire wardrobe."

"Oh please," she scoffed, pushing the cart over to me, "this is barely skimming my first dresser. If I were to bring my full wardrobe, you'd need more than a few vehicles, at least."

I shook my head, soaking in her luggage collection, "did you think about mine and Edward's luggage?"

"Yes," she replied, dancing around me like her happy-go-lucky self, "but you've already got your two bags and all your sports stuff in, and Edward can just... deal."

"Alice, if you can get any sweeter, they're going to have to name a chocolate bar after you."

She patted me on the head, "I know. I can't wait for the proceeds on it!"

I chuckled, shoving her back in a teasing manner, "you're so weird."

Edward came strolling out in a gray hoodie and dark denim jeans, his hair spiked, and donning sunglasses. His mouth was set in an expression that showed he still wasn't feeling well. I couldn't help but laugh at him. Someone's got to tease him, right?

"What the hell ran _you _over?" I pointed at him, poking fun.

He shook his head slowly, his lips parted like he was going to smart off, but he chose not to.

"Wise decision," I copped at him, yanking his bag from his hand. "You look like ass."

He punched me in my shoulder hard, and I fell back a few steps. "Okay okay, truce."

"Then shut up."

I heard tires squealing toward us. There's only one female in the entire planet that drives like she has no sense. I smirked at Edward, but he just gave me a look that said _shut up, don't start_. So I didn't.

Yet.

Tanya strolled out of her white Jetta, wearing hip hugger jeans that were so low it should be illegal, since everyone can tell she gets Brazillion's, a tight white t-shirt, pink flip-flops and a matching purse. Her blonde hair was curled and over her shoulders. I couldn't help but laugh at her, "Tanya, you do realize we're going to a cabin in for _winter _break, not Tahiti, right?"

"_Yes_," she sneered as she walked over to Edward, "can't a girl still look good?"

"Oh sure," I replied, ripping her bag from her fingers, "but if _you're _trying to, I suggest you get some sleep. Your face looks like something that fell from Edward's butt crack this morning."

"Emmett!" Alice shouted, throwing her clutch at me, as she tried not to laugh. "Stop!"

I shrugged, taking in the view of the back of my jeep. There was no way in hell this was all fitting in here, even if we had the girls on our laps. I looked over to tell Edward, but he currently had his arms wrapped around her waist and his head on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he grumbled into her shirt, "I didn't mean to yell last night."

"Oh no worries," she replied, trying to sound cute while patting his head like a dog, "I'm not angry with you. I know you were just drunk."

"...Yeah."

"Dude!" I cut in, causing him to lift his head and wince at my shouting, "we're not going to be able to fit all this crap in here. Remember, it's a nineteen hour road trip from Seattle to Windsor, without stopping, and we've got to carpool with Bella and all her friends. We're only taking two cars."

Edward shrugged, swallowing down some Tylenol that Alice handed him, without anything to drink, "I don't care. We'll just kick some of Bella's friends out on the middle of the highway. Like that douche she was with last night. Problem solved."

I busted out laughing, shaking my head. "Yeah because that will go over _so _well."

"Would for me."

"Ed, come on," Tanya cut in, rubbing his back, "we'll just ignore her."

He smirked, shaking his head in thought, "..._Right_. Have you _met _my ex? She's not so easy to ignore, trust me."

"Or...," she continued, rising on her feet to kiss his cheek, "I can just keep you occupied so you won't have to even be around her."

"Okay!" Alice shouted, pulling Edward away from her grasp, "time to go."

"I'm just gonna take my car," he said, stopping in front of my Jeep, "there's no way we're all going to be getting along if we're crammed so tight we can't breathe for twenty hours."

"Whatever, let's go!"

Alice climbed in my car with me, and we watched as Tanya slipped her hand in Edward's back pocket, having him practically tug her to his car. We shared an annoyed glance, rolling our eyes. It's kind of fun how Alice and I can bicker at each other, yet be so alike. We have a brother-sister, cat-dog relationship.

But I'd still give anything to see her naked, so I'm quite thankful we're not really siblings... but doggy-style might just work for me.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

"Can it get _any _colder out here?" I pouted, shivering in my jacket on the curb of our house. "Where _are _they?"

"Rose," Bella moaned, covering her head with her fingers, "relax."

Though she was severely hung over, I couldn't help but smile at her. She was standing on the street by the curb, in front of Jasper with her back against his chest, and he was on the curb with his arms around her waist and his chin to the top of her head.

They will really make a cute couple, if one of them actually bites the freaking bullet and _does _something about it. They've been friends for three years now. They go out all the time. They have sleepovers!

Just one kiss, that's all it would take to seal the deal. It's time my sister moves on for once, instead of having random little dates and flings. She needs something more concrete. She needs a horse to straddle. Time to get back on it. _Straddle time! I know you both want to, so just do it!_

"Rose!" Bella chuckled, breaking me out of my thought, "you look so funny. What are you thinking about?"

"Uhh," I stammered, shifting my feet and pulling my sunglasses from my hair, "cowboys."

"What about cowboys?" Jasper piped in with his adorable southern drawl.

"Wouldn't _you _like to know?" I winked at him, teasing.

We heard the sound of a loud motor, and before I had time to turn around, Jacob was pulling up on his Suzuki GSXR 1000 Phantom. Now I have to admit, Jacob's come a long way. He used to be so tiny and baby-face boyish. Now, two years after graduating high school, he's really matured into a... sexy guy. But he's such a little player. He chopped off all his hair, spiking the ends of it messy. He doesn't work out like an addicted dweeb on steroids, but he's in really good shape. He loves to run. He had gained a lot of muscle, and has broad shoulders. He has a goatee and some scruff working for him, not to mention a full bottom lip that you can't help but fantasize about in the shower.

Not that I'd ever tell him that.

"My gosh," I stated, putting my hands on my hips, "Jay, do you think you'll ever be able to make it before fashionably late hits?"

"Better late than never," he replied, winking at me. He threw his leather jacket and helmet into his bag, walking his bike up to the inside of our garage.

"Just make yourself a home," I snapped at him, trying to sound annoyed.

"I am."

Hip hop music came blasting around the corner, and the Jeep barreled to a stop three inches from my legs, causing me to fall back into the grass. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" I shouted, picking myself back up.

The guy climbed out of the Jeep and jogged over to me, helping me stand. I hit him hard in his chest, knocking him back into the front hood. "Are you out of your mind?" I shouted. "You could have killed me!"

"I'm s-sorry," he stammered, chuckling as I continued to push him. "I am! Stop!"

I threw my hands on my hips, eyeing him down. "What on earth possessed you to do that?" I sneered at him.

He froze, staring at me for a few seconds. "Uhh..."

"Oh forget it!" I spat at him, twisting around so my hair smacked his face as I walked over to Bella. "Someone who can't even answer only proves they have no common sense, and that only proves that they shouldn't be driving."

He chuckled, walking around to me. "You're feisty, aren't you?"

"Yes," I replied to him. "Now get away from me before you get me dirty again."

He picked up my suitcase, throwing it over his shoulder like it weighed nothing, though I packed it so full I had to have my sister help me drag it out of our house. "Oh, I think you were dirty enough before I ever got to you," he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes.

I glanced back over at the bulky, muscular guy with the sideways baseball cap and smirk on his face. _He's cute_, I thought. Let's call him _Muscles_. I can't remember his name right now, but I knew he's Edward's friend. I never paid that much attention to him in the past when we were in high school. He hardly showed up at school for me to ever have the chance to know him back then. I remember him being really smart in school, because he graduated early with honors... But the fact that he still acts like he has no common sense because he thinks it's funny... that's annoying.

Edward slowly climbed out of his car, adjusting his sunglasses and looking around at all of us with an almost mournful expression. I could tell he wasn't feeling good, and for a brief second, I pitied him. Then I snapped out of it, thinking about all the crap he pulled in the past, and shot him a pointed glance. _Dick_.

He smirked at me, as if he could read my mind. Then his hoochie-mama wannabe-girlfriend climbed out of his passenger seat looking more like a Malibu Barbie on crack than an actual girl. I have no idea why on earth he would choose _her _over my sister, and what possesses him to keep her around, _besides the obvious booty that he's getting_, baffles me to no end.

If he would have stayed with Bella and not screwed it all up in a mere moment of weakness, things would be so much easier on all of us.

Speaking of my sister, she was eyeing down his whorebag slut with a fire of a thousand suns. I could practically see the steam coming from her ears, and her hands were trembling as she balled them in fists at her sides. Jasper wrapped his arms around her again, pulling her back into his chest as he rocked her from side to side. "Don't worry about it," he whispered in her ear, "I've got you."

She nodded, swallowing hard and continuing to glare at Tanya.

"Okay!" the muscular guy shouted as Jacob threw his arm around my shoulder, talking on his cell phone. He sent chills through my body as he licked his lips, but I looked away. _It's Jacob for crying out loud!  
Mr. Muscles _continued. "We've got three cars. Two out of the three can fit only two people in it, so it looks like the majority will be in the Jeep. Rosalie, you and Alice and whoever can ride with me, we'll fill Jasper's car up with your guy's luggage, and we'll go from there figuring everything else out."

"I'll be right back," Bella whispered, inhaling deep. "You guys figure it out. I don't care. I, um... I forgot something." She turned and jogged up the sidewalk and into the house.

Jacob piped up, "too bad he's such a jerk; he's got a really nice car."

"FUCK YOU." Edward spat back at him.

"Oh you'd probably like that, dipshit." Jacob replied, flipping him off.

"I know your mother would."

"Go to hell."

"Well I want to ride in the Jeep!" Tanya shouted, jumping toward it. "Edward, you should let someone else drive your car. The Jeep will be funner!"

"Oh my _God_!" Edward shouted, looking up at the grey clouds. "Come on, let's just get this going. We've got to drive all day!"

Everyone started talking at the exact same time, and we weren't listening to anything anyone was trying to say because we all were fighting over who sat where. This argument continued for about seven minutes straight, people just shouting over each other.

_Muscles _sighed, shaking his head, "okay, listen up! Everyone line down the curb. You, you, and you, --" he pointed to me, Alice, and Tanya, "you're with me. No questions asked, I don't want to hear it. Jasper you've got your car, Jacob can ride with you. Edward you've got your little tiny excuse of a vehicle. Let's go."

We all piled up into the cars, squeezing tight and pushing each other.

_Muscles _threw more luggages around us in the Jeep, dropping one on my toe.

"Watch it!" I shouted at him, lifting my foot in the air. "Are you handicapped or something?"

"Or something," Alice replied with a giggle.

He hopped over the door by pulling himself up with the bars, and climbed in, starting his car.

"I don't see why Edward won't just leave his car and squeeze in with us," Tanya said. "I mean, there's room here."

I looked around, not finding room to even breathe, "yeah. No."

Right as he started to back up, it dawned on me that we were forgetting something. "Wait!" I shouted, standing up in the back seat to where my hands fell on his shoulders. Before I could get her name out, Bella came running out of the house, holding her sunglasses and a notepad.

"Oh Christ," _muscles _remarked, throwing his hands in the air.

Jasper and Jacob were talking in Jasper's custom and bagged 2003 Chevy S-10. The truck is hot! It's lowered with rims, red with a black hood and top, and it looks like it's moving when it isn't. I loved it when he let me work on it with him this summer.

They were looking in mine and Alice's general direction. Then they climbed out once Bella stood in front of his hood. "What, did you forget about me?" she teased, hands on hips.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," Jasper replied, running over, "we didn't forget, we were just distracted."

"Mmhmm," she turned around, looking at the seating arrangements. "Well, this is odd."

"Yeah."

Edward climbed up in his seat, standing in the convertible. "What are we _doing_?"

"Uh, this isn't going to work," Bella said, looking at Jasper with wide eyes.

"No, it's fine. Jacob can ride with Edward."

"Over my fucking dead body!" Jacob shouted too harsh, causing us to wince.

"I'm with him," Edward replied, tapping his hands on the front window.

"Well then... You can ride with Jacob in my truck; I'll let you drive it. And... I'll uh... ride with Edward."

"Yeah, I still don't think so," Edward chuckled. "No offense."

"None taken."

"Well how about _Tanya _ride with Edward, and Jacob can ride in here with us?" Alice suggested.

"No!" Tanya whined. "I can't _sit _in that car for twenty-one hours, I'll cramp up. It's too small. There's not enough room. Besides, the Jeep has actual breathing areas."

Edward scoffed, shaking his head, "can we just move it? Alice, come sit with me, Bella ride with Emmett."

"She can't!" _Muscles_, or Emmett, I suppose, protested. "She's got the map and she's my guide. And I'm leading. And I don't trust anyone else to but her. Remember what happened when you and I tried to get to Vegas? It didn't work out too well."

Edward smirked, shaking his head.

"What about Rose?" Jacob suggested.

I glared at him. "I don't _think _so. I'll kill the motherfu-"

"Alright!" Bella shouted, cutting me off and shocking everyone as she threw her hands in the air and stormed over to Edward's car. "I'll freakin' ride with him. Geesh."

Edward glared at her as she opened his passenger door, but didn't say anything.

"Uh, no, I don't like this idea," Tanya said, trying to stand up but not making it too well with the luggage surrounding her. "Uh, _Edward!_?"

"Nope," Emmett snarked, laughing as he blasted his stereo, "you've all ready said your piece, woman. You wanted the Jeep, you've got it."

"It's fine," Edward replied, continuing to glare at Bella, "we'll deal with it."

"Yeah," she said, climbing in and slamming his door hard, throwing her cheek on into her fingers as she slouched down, "whatever."

I gave her a look, asking her with my eyes if she was okay with this. Because if she wasn't, I'd easily hop out of here and go slug him for her. I made sure to send her that entire message.

She sighed, giving me a short nod with an expression that read, it's_ fine._

I just shook my head at her. _This should be interesting._

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

As Bella climbed in my car, she slammed my door. That was mistake one.

My car is not hers. She shouldn't treat it like it is.

I glowered at her, not bothering to start the car back up, although everyone else was pulling out and driving down the road.

She slowly brought her face over to my direction, raising her eyebrows, "what?"

"You slammed my door."

"_And_?"

I furrowed my brows, sending her an angry message with my eyes.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't hurt it, Edward."

I still didn't answer, just continued to look at her. I could practically feel the heat surrounding my forehead.

"Fine! I'm _sorry_. Happy now?"

I started the car, continuing to show her with my expression that I wasn't _happy _at _all _about this arrangement. I didn't want her to be around me, especially this soon in the trip.

"Feet off the dash please," I said icily.

She rolled her eyes, plopping her feet on the ground. After a few more seconds of us sitting still, she snapped her neck in my direction. "Would you go?!" she shouted, throwing her hands toward the road in a _move _gesture.

I smirked, shaking my head, "not yet."

"Why _not_?"

"Because, I am waiting on you to hit me again. I can tell you've got more of it with my name on it..."

She eyed me down, not liking my comment. _If her eyes shot bullets, _I thought to myself, _I'd be dead._

"I mean," I continued with a shrug, keeping my casual unaffected gaze, "if you're going to do it, I would rather you do it before we take off down the road..."

She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest, "don't tempt me."

I smirked, hitting the gas and swinging the car back, her little body flying forward toward the dash. "Edward!" she shouted, pushing herself back in the seat.

"Seatbelts." I said coolly, putting my Carrera in first gear and slamming the gas, not paying any attention to the middle finger she just gave me as she struggled to buckle in.

"Would you slow down?!" she shouted as I sped toward the red light.

"I cannot. I have to catch up... If it weren't for your _childish _actions, we wouldn't have had to be held behind."

"Trust me, Edward," she scoffed, shaking her head, "you don't want to get me going this early into the trip. I've got a lot of shit to deal out with your name on it."

"I have a surround sound stereo. I can block you out."

She twisted her body in my direction, trying to ignore the fact that I slammed on the breaks inches before I ran the light. "Do you _really _want us to get moving on this foot? Or can we just start over, be adults, and try to get through this?"

"Start over?" I hissed at her, hitting the gas as soon as it switched back to green. "Start _over_?" I repeated, lowering my sunglasses so she could see my eyes as I narrowed my voice deeper. I forced her gaze to mine, and she parted her lips as she glared at my mouth. "I _asked _you to start over. Four years ago. Do you remember?"

"Yeah," she replied, situating back to look at the road, her eyes squinting into a tight line. "I remember. It was twenty-four hours after I found you with your tongue rammed down _that bitch's _throat."

"Come on!" I shouted, jerking the car over to the on ramp by the interstate, and speeding toward Emmett's Jeep. "We were in high school! I got confused, what did you expect? It happens."

"I _expected_," she hissed, trying to get a hold of her hair as it flew in the sharp wind, "that you would be faithful to me. That was the plan, remember?"

"Sure I remember. But I don't see how you could be _faithful _to me when you had Jacob staying over at your house every night! Did you really expect me to believe that you two were just pals? That he was only a mere sleeping buddy?! I know better! I saw it! I'm not that fucking blind!"

"Yes!" she shouted back at me. "I do! Because I _was _faithful, Edward! I can't control other people, but I lo-" she cut herself off as I snapped my head in her direction. She threw her hands in the air in forfeit. "…never mind. Forget it."

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"_Fine_."

"God!"

As we were driving next to the Jeep in the fast lane, I caught a glance at Tanya giving Bella her worst expression possible. Bella tried to ignore it, covering her face with her right hand as we passed them, and cut in front of them in their lane. Then I saw Jasper behind Emmett, shaking his head in the driver seat. He was pissed that I was driving like this with Bella in the car, I could tell.

_Well_, I thought to myself, finding his facial expression amusing, might_ as well give him something to complain about._

I smirked and hit the brakes, jerking my car back into the fast lane so they could pass by us in the slow lane. They were all shocked, as Bella clutched her chest. I waited until they passed us, and then pulled back behind Jasper's car in their lane again, smiling to him in his rearview mirror.

"What are you _doing_?" she shouted, hitting me in my arm. "Why on earth would you hit your breaks like that on the interstate?! What if there were cars there in the fast lane?!"

I chuckled. "Your boyfriend was getting upset that I was ahead of them, so I figured I'd sweep back here and make him happy."

"He's _not _my boyfriend."

"Fine," I glared at her, pulling my sunglasses back up, "then your _screwbuddy _was upset that I was ah-"

"Just shut up, Edward," she exhaled.

Though I found it was so easy to piss her off, especially when I was right, I took the hint, trying to drop my smug expression.

_I liked her better when she was quiet too_, I thought to myself.

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

The first hour of the drive went by excruciatingly slow.

Both of us were on edge, unable to relax with the glares coming from Tanya and Jasper as the cars rotated around in order. Neither Bella nor I spoke, and we didn't bother looking at each other when we could help it. I could feel that annoying electric current bouncing between us, and by the way she was adjusting her body around every two seconds, I could tell she felt it too.

After we stopped to use the restroom and grab a snack in Yakima, around three hours into the drive, she grumbled as she put her seatbelt on. "I miss the Volvo," she stated, throwing her jacket over her chest like a cover.

"It's in the shop," I replied shortly, pulling back onto the highway.

"Why?"

I glanced over at her, surprised we didn't have to yell at each other to have a conversation. It threw me off. I didn't like it. I wasn't used to it.

"Uh, because I blew the transmission in it."

She smirked, leaning the seat back so she could close her eyes, "how did you do that?"

I shrugged, still feeling uncomfortably dumbfounded by us talking, "by..._driving _it?"

She opened her right eye and glared at me, before throwing her right arm over her face. "Smartass."

_Well, so much for the conversation. _Though it did snap me back into focus. I almost felt _better _with the animosity. I was used to _that_.

__

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

It was going on nine pm. Seven hours into the drive.

We made it through Oregon and Idaho, and were about an hour inside Utah when the night sky became pitch black and hung over us heavily, as the cold passed us over. I pulled over on the highway, telling Bella to text them and tell them that we'd catch up and to keep going.

She nodded, watching me as I ran around and loaded the convertible top back up. The wind picked up heavily and fought against my grasps, but after a few struggles, I got it locked back into place. Then I ran around and hopped in, blasting the heat on.

"Are you okay?" she asked as I put the car back in first, watching the traffic in my mirrors as I began to speed up.

"Fantastic," I replied, putting the pedal to the metal and jerking the car back into the lanes, weaving through to pass a Volkswagen beetle, a mini van, two semis, and a truck.

After a few minutes of silence, she began to relax more, accepting that she was stuck with me for at least eleven more hours, with how fucking slow these guys kept up. She started to put her foot back on my dash, but stopped as soon as it touched it, and huffed, placing it back on the ground. I perched my lips, not saying anything.

"Sorry," she grumbled, fidgeting in the seat. "'S just hard when there's no room to put the seat back because of the luggage."

"Yeah," I whispered, passing another semi as I saw Jasper's taillights come into view, "sorry about that. I don't normally have people in this car with me."

"What about _Tanya_? I figured she'd be all into the flashy stuff," she snarkly replied.

I took a deep breath before switching back into the right lane, looking over my shoulder at her, "she doesn't like this car either."

"Ahh."

I peered over at her again, unable to read her expression. "What?" I replied, giving her my crooked smile before I realized it. "What are you thinking?"

She shrugged, her lips forming tight as she pulled her sunglasses from her face, blinking into the dark. "Nothing."

"Just say it."

Her wide, hazel-chestnut eyes found mine and stopped my breath. I shook my head, focusing my attention back to the road before she caused me to wreck. _Don't do it, Edward. Don't let her get to you._

"Well," she began slowly, shrugging, "she just... seems to be like one of those girls who are into... money. You seem to fit her profile."

I thought about her words for a second, trying to not allow them to get me angry. "You were with me."

She furrowed her brows, giving me a confused expression.

"What I mean is," I explained, "_you _were with me once. Were _you _in it for the money too?"

She cocked her head in my direction, and then shook it fast, as she leaned back in my seat. "No. You _know _that. Besides, my stepdad is a professional baseball player for the Colorado Rockies. If I was all about the money, I would have dipped into _his _piggybank long before I ever got with you."

"Hmm," I thought, raising my eyebrow. "So who are _you _to question whether or not _she _is in it for the money? It's not like you know her anymore."

"I'm sure she's the same as in high school," she stated. "But, if you really must know... Prada, Gucci, and Brazillion-Icceton."

"Huh?"

She giggled, "her bag is Prada, her sunglasses were Gucci, and her jeans were Brazillion-Icceton. She's about the nametag. It's written on her face."

"Since when did you get so interested into labels?"

She sighed. "Have you met my sister, Rosalie? Comes with the territory."

"I see."

We glanced at each other, and for a brief second, I thought she was going to smile at me. Instead, she rolled her eyes, and slouched in the seat. "Just keep your eyes on the road. It's really dark out."

I shook my head, suddenly re-annoyed with her. _Ten more hours._

* * *

**BellaPOV**

When I woke up, I noticed that I was still in his car. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep.

I squinted my eyes, trying to focus on the green lights of the dash. It was three in the morning.

"Jesus," I croaked out, clearing my throat. My body felt like rusting metal as I pulled it forward, to a normal sitting position. Edward was leaning over toward his door, with his elbow against the window and his head against his hands. He was tugging at his bronzed hair, and had an expression on his face showing he was in deep thought.

I glanced around, noticing that all the cars were still around us, and that everyone was fine. Emmett had the cover over his Jeep so I could barely see through the windows, but it looked like Rosalie was sleeping in the passenger seat. I wondered when her and Alice switched places. Glancing behind me to the slow lane, I noticed Jasper and Jacob talking, and could hear rock music blaring from his radio, which I'm sure came from Jacob's collection. Jasper enjoyed all music, but his favorite was country. He seemed to be doing okay too.

When I looked to my lap, I noticed Edward's black leather jacket had been covering me up. I bit my lip, frustrated with myself. I didn't want any favors from him.

"You were cold," Edward replied, not even removing his eyes from the road. "I put the heater on high, but you were still trembling, so I covered you with the jacket to help circulate your body heat easier."

"Thanks," I whispered, rubbing my face.

His reply was hasty. "Don't mention it."

_This is why I don't need any favors from him_, I thought, he's_ so cocky._

"Are we going to stop soon?" I asked, trying to avert his attention from being such a ... _guy_.

"Why?"

I sighed, "I'm hungry."

He thought for a few minutes, and then pulled out his blackberry. I watched as he pressed two buttons, in speed dial, and then held it to his ear. "Hey, babe. How's it going?"

I couldn't help but scowl. He called her _babe_. Ew.

"Right... Mmhmm..." he pulled into the fast lane, appearing like he wasn't even paying attention to what she was saying. "Sure. That's good... Yeah... Hey, can you do me a favor? Tell Emmett that Bella and I are going to get off here at this exit and swing into the drive thru. Tell him I have plenty of gas to make it to Layton, or possibly Evanston even, and we'll catch up. Yes, I will." He sighed, pulling the phone away from his face for a second, "Tanya, come on. Let's not do this here, please? Good. Okay. Thanks."

He smirked and shook his head as he pulled off to the exit.

"Aren't the rest of you guys hungry?" I asked, crinkling my forehead in my single-minded misunderstanding.

"Nah, they ate about an hour ago. I decided to put it off until you woke up, because I knew that you would be hungry. I know how your appetite works."

"Oh."

"So," he peeled onto the highway, speeding to sixty before hitting the red light. He looked at me, the gold flecks shining in his sea green eyes, "what are you in the mood for?"

My breath hitched and I pulled my face away from his focus. "Mmm... Um....Burger King. Or KFC? No, no! Burger King. I'm sure."

He chuckled softly, "all right."

As we were waiting in line to place our order at the intercom, I felt my back pocket vibrating. I shot up, yanking it out. Jasper. _Crap_. I forgot to tell him we were pulling off.

I flipped it open, but it wasn't Jasper's voice on his phone. It was Jacob's. "Bella, what the hell are you doing? Where is he taking you?"

"Relax Jacob," I replied, slouching back in his seat, "I'm fine. I'm hungry, so Edward pulled over for me."

"I don't like that idea. We're going to get off this next exit and wait for you."

"It's fine, Jacob. Really. Tell Jazz that I'm all right... and by the way, why are you on _his _phone? Where's yours?"

"I have Adam on my phone, with Sam on hold... Huh? Oh. Okay. Wait, here, Jasper wants to talk with you."

There was a brief moment of silence as Edward pulled up to the intercom, the menu glancing down at us.

"Hey, Bells," Jasper's smooth voice said, relaxing me almost instantly. It always happened when Jasper was around, or when his voice came to my ear.

I glanced over at Edward, who had his eyebrows raised with an _I'm waiting... _expression.

I raised my index finger at him. "Hey Jazz. I just wanted to let you know that I was fine and to not worry."

"Are you sure? Is he treating you okay?"

"Yes, everything's fine. We'll be back on the interstate in just a few minutes."

"Okay. I sort of miss you, Bella," he teased, knowing it'd make me smile.

I glanced over at Edward, who was ignoring the woman's voice repeating her opening sentence so he'd place his order. I gave him the pointed index finger again, an apologetic expression in my features. "I miss you too, Jasper. _Trust _me."

Edward rolled his eyes, and rested his head against the seat, exhaling heavily.

"I hope so," Jasper replied. "Be safe."

"I will. Bye."

I closed the phone, looking at the menu. "Umm... I want the ...um... chicken fries, with extra bar-"

He cut me off. "Chicken fry combo, extra barbeque sauce, small sized, with a root beer to drink," he ordered into the intercom with a roll of his eyes.

"Would you like that upgraded to a larger size?"

I sat up to answer him, but he all ready knew. "No thank you. And she also wants an Oreo pie, with extra napkins please. And I will have...-"

It was time to get even. "A number four please," I said, cockily as I stared at him. "He wants everything on it, except for onions, with large fries, and a regular sized Coke. And extra ketchup packets."

"Will that be all?"

He looked at me in shock, raised eyebrows, waiting for me to answer for him again.

"Yes," I replied, sitting back in my seat satisfied, "that's it."

His mouth stayed ajar as he pulled up behind the van next to the window. I watched as his broad jaw tightened along with his fingers on the steering wheel. I could tell he was uncomfortable with me remembering stuff about him. Edward never liked the tables being turned on him.

"Oh relax," I smirked, turning on his radio to some hip hop music to wake me up, "it's only a food order." I couldn't help but feel the electricity between us increasing, but I just looked out the window, shaking it off. _You like Jasper. He's a _good _guy._

"...Right." he replied after another minute of silence.

__

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

It was now going on six in the morning. We've stopped multiple times throughout the past few hours, for gas of course, and coffee, but also being that all of us girls seem to have shy and awkward bladders. It was quite funny to see Tanya still wearing only a tank top and jeans, trembling. I told Edward to give her his jacket if he wasn't going to wear it, but he shrugged it off, saying that she had plenty packed with her, and that I might need it if I get cold again.

Though I know it was wrong, and though I still can't _stand _him for what he's done, it _still _made me feel better that he chose me over her. For once. _God, he's a jerk,_ I growled to myself as I climbed out of the bathroom, to find him leaned against the car, his back on the passenger door with her arms around his waist, her chest pressed up against him.

He had his eyes closed and his fingers locked around her, and she was talking to him about how cool she thought Emmett's jeep was, and how she liked Alice's hair cut, and how Rosalie lightly snored when she slept... He seemed to be blocking her out, but the way his fingers were dipped into the curve at the bottom of the shirt, I felt my stomach twist so bad that I wanted to run back into the bathroom and throw up.

"Hey you," Jacob whispered, causing me to jump as he threw his arm around my waist. "You cool?"

"Yeah," I replied as he led me toward Jasper's car. I couldn't stop looking at Tanya, trying to figure out what he saw in her, besides blonde hair, perfect boobs, a tight ass, spunky personality, and no brain.

"Jasper wants to give you a hug before we get back on the road."

I noticed Edward's eyes open as Jacob said Jasper's name, and smiled inside. I ran over to Jasper, throwing my arms around his neck and burying my face into his warm shoulder.

"Oh, there you are," he said, holding me up from the ground. "Mmm, that feels nice. Are you doing all right?"

I nodded, gripping him tighter. I wanted him to make me forget about Edward; make me forget about why I needed him so badly at one point.

I could need Jasper now. I was okay with that, I just needed to convince all of me.

"Are you sure?" he asked, pulling my face back so I could look at him. I soaked in his sultry eyes, the arch on his top lip, and I felt my heart do a pitter patter dance as he hummed lightly to me. _See_, I thought to myself, smiling up at him, you do _like him. Give him a chance, Bella._

"Let's go!" Emmett shouted, scooping Alice up and throwing her over his right shoulder. "Time to move!"

Everyone groaned and started walking back toward the vehicles. We've been on the road since a little after noon yesterday, and we've stopped so many times, it seems as if this trip is never going to end.

Rosalie climbed back in the passenger seat, whining that she has a headache and couldn't sleep sitting up like that. I couldn't make out what Emmett said to her, but after a few seconds, she slowly nodded, and the next thing I knew, she was leaning over with her head in his lap. I watched his hand stroke her right arm as he backed up toward _Asshole Cullen_. Edward let go of Tanya and lifted her up into the jeep, causing me to feel more jealous, damn it, though I knew I shouldn't, since I am standing here wrapped up in a good guy's arms. Securely.

But watching how easy it was for him to hold onto her and lift her up, and the way she giggled when he did it, and then leaned out the door to kiss him... I closed my eyes, pushing my face into Jasper's face. It was too much to watch.

He kissed me on my head, hugging me tight, until I almost forgot where I was. I wanted so bad to curl up against him and sleep all this misery off. The sooner we could get to the cabin, the quicker I could go into a different room, and not have to face them.

Edward smacked her on her right hip and blew a kiss to Alice, which she blew back to him. Then he jogged over to his car, and looked up at me, suddenly impatient. Go figure.

"I guess that's my cue," I said, pulling away from Jasper's grip.

"You know, we could _make _Jacob ride with Edward. I'm sure they'd get over it eventually."

"No," I replied, kissing his cheek, "they won't. They've been at each other's throats for almost six years now. Even before Edward and I got together. It's never going to get better."

"Yeah, but doesn't it have to get worse before it can get any better?" Jasper countered, rubbing my back as he led me toward Edward's car. "If you let them scrap it out, maybe they can put it all behind them?"

"They'd kill each other first. Trust me. It almost happened once back in school."

"Why's that?"

I bit my lip, shaking my head before the tears could build up. "Long story."

He opened the door for me and watched Edward as he climbed in his seat with a smirk on his face. He shook his head, regaining his focus on me. "You sure you don't want to switch with Jacob? You and I could have fun..."

"I'll be fine. Thanks."

"Anytime. Call me if you get lonely."

I smiled, running my fingers through his twisty blondish brown hair. "I will. Go on, be safe!" I pushed him toward Jacob. He just laughed and waved to me, before running back to his car.

When I climbed in Edward's car, I noticed that his mood was back to pissy. He glared at me and shook his head in his own thought, revving his car up loud as people began to leave the parking lot.

Before I could open my mouth to ask him what his problem was, he peeled out of the parking lot so fast that it snapped my neck back against his seat. I trembled under his reaction, but kept my lips sealed. There was no way I was going to bring anything up while he drove like this.

As he was passing Emmett at seventy and cutting him off on the entrance ramp, making his way to over a hundred miles per hour, his phone rang. He sighed, flipping it open. "What do you want, dick?"

I heard Jacob yelling at him through the phone, threatening him, but couldn't make out the words between the car exhaust noise and how fast Jacob was ranting. Edward's lips formed into a cocky grin, and he bounced his tongue along his bottom lip while he looked in his rearview mirror.

"Oh, I'd love to see you try it," he replied too cool for his own good. He laughed as Jacob continued to cuss at him. "Oh yeah?" he mused, pushing his car further, "well how about you get your slow ass up here and come do it then? Yeah, that's what I thought, you fucking bitch." Then he hung the phone up, shaking his head, apparently still amused.

"You know," I said, crossing my arms over my chest, "you're going to have to stop this car eventually. I realize it may been ten times the speed of any car around us, but sooner or later, you're going to have to stop and I'm not going to be able to keep him from pummeling you into dirt."

He laughed, throwing his head back into the head rest.

If he wasn't such an arrogant jerk, I would think he was sexy and adorable right now.... Like I used to... With his bronzed messy-spiky hair showing its natural highlights in the rays of the sun, his bottom lip slightly wet from his tongue, his perfect teeth glistening, and the green diamonds cascading behind his designer sunglasses... not to mention how he handled his car like it was sex on wheels... It would be so easy to be dazzled to the point of no return.

But I refused to look at him like this anymore. Now he's just... _him_.

And _he _made me irritated.

"Do you really think that mother fucker could take me? Get real, Bella."

"I _am _getting real, Edward. Keep pissing him off and see what happens!"

He looked over at me, pulling his sunglasses over his eyes and licking his lips. "Mmm, I can't wait," he replied, his voice velvety smooth.

I just rolled my eyes at him, looking toward the sun rising to my right. There wasn't even a point to talking to him anymore. So I didn't.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

"I'm gonna kill that fucker!" I shouted, throwing my phone against Jasper's dashboard involuntarily.

He chuckled, shaking his head, "don't worry about it, Jacob."

"How are you so cool about this?" I sneered, glaring at him. "He's a jerk. He doesn't deserve to be in her presence, not even for a second!"

"I'm not saying he does," Jasper responded smoothly, his country accent filling the truck, "all I'm saying is to not worry about it. He thinks he has it all under control, that he's too smooth for anyone. He has no idea about the real world."

I looked at him, slightly annoyed by how grounded he was, "be honest, Jasper. Man to man. You're in love with Bella, right?"

He inhaled, his eyes growing tight as he thought for a few seconds. Then he nodded, not saying anything.

"Okay. Now, how do you feel about Edward, the only love of her life, remind you, being in that car with her, showing off for her, working his magic on her, giving her that crooked fucking smile she used to gush over?"

He swallowed, shrugging hard, "Bella's a grown woman. She'll do what's best for her. And I'll be here if she chooses the wrong path."

"You'd really let her go that easy?"

He glanced over at me in his peripheral vision, then back toward Emmett's license plate. "No."

"That's what I thought. Dude, seriously. Cullen is bad news. Everyone knows it."

"He's got a girlfriend," Jasper replied, switching to the fast lane.

"No," I intercepted icily, "he's got a fuck buddy. There is a difference."

"Well, rumor has it that he has quite a few of them," Jasper shrugged, "so I don't see a point in getting too worked up over him. Bella and I have had many, many conversations about all the bad stuff he did and how bad he broke her heart. I don't see her running back to him."

"Well, I hope you're right."

"Let me ask you something, Jacob..." he said, his voice more relaxed with the tempo change. "Why do you care?"

I shrugged, slouching down in the seat, "Bella's one of my oldest friends. Her biological father and my dad were best friends, and they asked me to watch over her always, no matter how bad things got. So that's what I do."

"Were you ever interested in her as more than that?"

"Nah, not really. Once, when we were all in school, I guess. But that didn't go too smooth."

"What happened?"

I glanced over at him, suddenly feeling uneasy and agitated, "Edward happened."

"Ahh. That explains it."

"No, it's not like that, he didn't steal her away from me or anything," I said, my hands in the air, "he just... They were together, I told Bella how I felt, Edward walked in at the wrong moment, and our enemy lines grew thicker."

"Wow, so you made her cheat on him?"

I smirked, "Edward was screwing Tanya by that point, I'm sure. And it was a simple kiss, no big deal."

Jasper chuckled, "I bet Edward felt it was a big deal, huh?"

"Oh you have no idea!" I laughed, turning up his radio, "we got into it so bad; we ended up behind bars until his father Carlisle came and bailed us both out. We weren't even of age at that point. It was great, they had to give us our own little cells because we kept trying to duke it out."

"Ha ha, I bet!" he giggled, shaking his head. "Did it ever happen again?"

"Me kissing her?"

"Yeah."

"Not 'til after they broke up. We were both pretty lonely on a few occasions, and we were going to hook up once, but we realized before we got past second base that it just wasn't... meant to be. No physical connection, you know? I mean, we were attracted to each other, but... yeah. This is good, because now I can watch over her and not want to, you know, be with her. Not like that. She's like my little sister."

"That's cool."

"Yeah... but I'd never tell this to Edward. I'd rather make him think I want her, so it'd give him a reason to come after me, and give me an excuse to punch him square in the face."

He seemed amused by this, which made him have cool points, in my book. He's already listening to my music, confessing that he enjoys some of my rock bands, and even has a few grunge t-shirts. In fact, despite his country twang, he looks like a rock star with his black t-shirt, jeans, and twisty hair. Plus, he wants to protect my girl, which is awesome. He's a cool dude.

He's got my vote with her.

"So..." he said after about fifteen minutes of listening to my music, "who _do _you like then?"

I shrugged, fiddling with my phone, "I don't know. I find myself attracted to Rose every now and then, not that I'd ever tell her though. Other than that, I spend time casually dating, hooking up. I'm not really in the mood for anything specific. I like to dabble."

"What's your type?"

"Blondes, these days. Like Rosalie."

"What about Tanya?" I glared at him, but he had a grin on his face. "Be honest, Jacob. The girl's pretty decent."

"Yeah, I'd hit it. But I'd have to go before Edward. I definitely wouldn't be up in it after him."

Jasper laughed, bellowing out, "I'm sure he's not that bad!"

"I heard he banged three different girls in one night at a college party. One of his friends told me. They went there together."

"Okay," Jasper second guessed himself, "maybe he is."

"He's a fag," I shrugged. "Let's hope Bella doesn't fall for it."

"Trust me. I am."

"And just," I pondered, trying to figure out how to phrase it, "don't be such a goodie. Bella is going to need someone who's willing to get down and dirty if he has to. She likes the strong, independent, cocky type. She wants someone who will stand by her, keep her safe."

"Don't worry about me," Jasper mused, "I'm nice, because women deserve to be treated with a certain amount of respect at all times. But that doesn't mean I won't fight for what I want."

"I'm counting on it," I replied. And boy was I ever.

The last thing I wanted to do was have to pick her up off the ground again, her body pale and exhausted, sick and soaking wet while curled up into a tight ball. I'll never forget the loud gasps for air she took, and the way she begged for me to help her. I took her to the hospital that night, because she thought she was having a heart attack. They said it was just a severe panic attack. That night wasn't fun. And it scares me to this day, which is why I don't want him to ever have that chance again.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Almost ten. Which means we're almost here. Which means no more cramped car, no more awkward glances between the ex and I. No more texts from Tanya asking me if Bella has tried anything yet. No more dirty looks for Jasper and Jacob as I pass them, or Rosalie flipping me off. We've all ready made it through Cheyenne and into Colorado without killing each other... my glass was half full with thoughts that Bella and I could actually make it through this road trip and be alive in the end of it.

I glanced over to my right, noticing that she was writing something in her notepad. I gave in, knowing I probably shouldn't. "What are you doing over there?"

Her eyes grew wide as she lifted her face up to me, covering the paper into her jacket. "Nothing."

I sighed, rolling my head back around toward the road_, "it's _just a question. We've only got about thirty-five miles to go from here, once we get through Giddings. I'm just trying to lighten the situation up."

She glared at me before continuing her writing, a little more sneaky, might I add. "You're trying to start an _actual _conversation with me now that we're almost there?"

"Yes."

She shook her head_,_ "I'm writing my thoughts down on paper, that way I can release some tension without stabbing you with this pen."

I laughed, unable to stop myself_,_ "Bella, you don't hate me that much, and you know it."

"Don't tell me what I know, Edward. I know that you're an _ass_. I know that you've treated me like crap, and I _know _what you did. That's enough for me to make a final decision about you and stick with it."

I raised my right eyebrow, thinking out loud_, "okay_, I'm an asshole and you caught me doing something foolish _four_ years ago... You've made up your decision to hate me and say you're sticking with it... yet, here you are, in the front seat of _my _car with _me_."

"Yeah because no one else wanted to ride with you. Not even your _girlfriend_."

"Well that's because Tanya _p_refers the backseat."

She cocked her head and glared at me, and I felt a tiny bit of guilt for heading the conversation in that direction. _That was wrong, Edward.  
_  
She scoffed, shaking her head as she began to write harder, the pen almost poking holes through the paper.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I caved in, shaking my head_, "that _was wrong to say."

"Like I give a crap, Edward. Everyone knows she likes the back seat. Isn't that where you two ended up after graduation?"

I gawked at her, surprised she was still pissed after I apologized, which I never really do_,_ "Bella, I'm not the dickhead that you make me out to be. It wasn't like that with Tanya and I back then, and you know it."

"No," she slammed the notepad on her lap, twisting to stare at me_,_ "I know that she's a whore. I know that she fucked you. I know that you obvious liked it, because you're still with her. Oh, yeah, and I know she tried to be my friend while she tried to screw you behind my back."

I inhaled deep, trying to relax my tense muscles_, "you _don't know... anything."

"Fine. Tell me what I need to know, _Edward_. Tell me what I did that was so wrong that you made the decision _you _did? Tell me what was so God awful about me that you turned your back on _everything _we worked two years for, on a small case of insecurity on _your _part? Was I not pretty enough? Was I too dumb? Too clumsy? Too _brunette_?! _WHAT IS IT?!"  
_

I shook my head, gripping the steering wheel so tight I thought I could somehow snap it off. "Bella, it was one time. It meant nothing. We didn't even get that f-"

"TELL ME WHAT I DID EDWARD!"

I glared at her in shock, my mouth hanging open. She looked so angry, so upset_;_ it almost broke me to look at her.

"Bella," I whispered, my throat hurting_, "...you _didn't do anything. I was just... young. And scared of feeling..." my voice cut off as I tried to figure out the right words. "...uh... how _we _did. We became so involved, so overwhelmed... so _consumed _and wrapped up in each other, and it was really hard for us to handle those _types_ of emotions at eighteen."

"Yeah," she smirked, calming down and looking away from me_, "well_ you certainly proved to me that you weren't _ready _for that type of commitment after all."

I swallowed the sandpaper feeling down, squinting through my dark sunglasses_, _toward the blurry road at this forsaken noon hour. "I don't know what I can do or say to tr-"

"Don't bother. It doesn't matter. I don't care about what you did anymore."

"...Then why are you still so upset?"

She swallowed hard, crossing her arms over her chest_, "...because_ I'm _trying _to stop worrying about you. I'm moving on. With Jasper. Now."

I nodded, fighting back my instinct to yell to her that he's all wrong with her. "I think it's best you do," I said_, "since_ that's what you want."

"I know I don't want to be hurt by a man the way you did to me."

"Yep. You should _definitely_ go with him."

__

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

I was beyond mentally exhausted and emotionally drained by the time that we pulled up; I couldn't even enjoy the view of the cabin. Everyone left their luggage in the vehicles and took off running around the winding sidewalk, over the tiny lake that Phil created, along the stone path, through the trees, and up to the front door.

Jasper threw his arm around Bella's waist as she fumbled clumsily to open the door, her hands trembling in excitement. I remained calm in the back of the group, cocking my head to the right just so I could hold it up. Tanya was pushing on Emmett's shoulders, trying to peak around him. She didn't seem to notice I was even behind her.  
As the door creaked open, a sudden flashback sneaked into my mind.

FLASH! _Bella giggling as she unlocked the door, yanking me inside by my tuxedo jacket. _FLASH! _"This is so incredible!" Bella _squealed_ as I led her out to the pool, taking in the rose petals I scattered around for her. _FLASH!_ Bella running to jump in my arms, her face blending perfectly into my neck. "Thank you so much, Edward! I couldn't ask for a better birthday gift than this!" _FLASH! _Me popping her up in my arms, causing her to giggle. "So, you're not too upset with me about doing something for your birthday?" I asked as I moved a few pieces of hair from her eyes, drowning in the smile of hers I loved so much. _FLASH! _"Not at all. You're the best present I could ever ask for." _FLASH!

"Hey Edward?" Alice said, snapping me back into the present. "Are you coming?"

I swallowed, shaking my head and nodding to her. She reached out her tiny hand and I took it, thankful that she could somehow read my mind that I needed the comfort. She wrapped her free arm around me, keeping my right hand in hers. We followed behind the rest of the group, up the tiny set of stairs, through the kitchen, and into the main living area. It seemed bigger, with A-arched windows, the golden chandelier echoing around the log wood ceiling, the stone fireplace accenting the red upholstery.

Emmett ran for the pool table, laying over it with his arms stretched out, "ahh, sweet!"

Rosalie smacked him on his back, giggling, "you're so stupid. We've got three of them total.

"What?!" he shouted, looking like a child on his birthday. "That's great!"

We continued our tour through the winding hall and into the small den, which matched the living area perfectly. Bella jumped on his back, giggling, asking her to take him up the brass staircase, so we can go see the pool. He obliged, running in a zigzag motion to make her laugh harder and hold him tight. I scowled at them, shaking my head. Alice tugged on my arm, patting me on the back. We walked past the theatre, and the game room, and Rosalie ran for the doors with Jacob, swinging them wide open.

There, stood the eighteen feet deep pool, surrounded with high curved windows up past the second story, with the loft hanging above us on the right. Lounge chairs were set up along one wall, three palm trees which I helped plant with Carlisle and Phil in front of them, and the lights surrounding the entire area like a concert hall. Bella giggled again, dropping back down to her feet and tugging Jasper down the length of the pool, opening the door to the secret grotto.

Tanya ran up to my free side on my left, snaking her arm around me as we walked through the green-lit stoned room, with the hot tub centered in the middle of the sectioned pools, bubbling for satisfaction. This was definitely the most romantic spot, and I knew there would be a lot of sexing going on in this room.

"Wow," Tanya whispered, tugging me tighter and away from Alice, "this is so beautiful!"

I smiled, trying to ignore the thoughts of Bella handing me the stones to help my father mold them into the walls, giggling and pouring us lemonade. _Quit it, fucker!_ I shouted to myself in my mind.

"Time for bedrooms!" Rosalie shouted, pulling Jacob with her.

"Why are you tugging on me?" he chuckled, tickling her and making her laugh.

"Because you're my new roomie, _partner_."

"Why's that?"

"Because Bella's go-"

Bella cut her off, wrapping her tiny arms around Jasper's back and pushing her face against his spine as he walked in front of her, "because Jasper and I are sharing a room this vacation." Yes, I noticed the evil glance she shot at me while making this remark. I just shrugged my shoulders, thinking that she can do whatever the _fuck _she wants. Like I give a _shit_.

"Guess that means you're with me!" I said, picking Tanya up bridal style and carrying her past the second story, up to the third.

"Goodie," she whispered, her fingers in the back of my hair.

Everyone started pairing off into rooms. Alice walked into the room with double beds, with Emmett reluctantly following behind her with his head down. Rosalie and Jacob took the room down the hall, with the stone fireplace and wood framing. "That's the Champaign room," Bella pointed toward the king size bed in the open room, "no one has sex in there."

Then it was just Tanya, Bella, Jasper, and I walking to the end of the back hall. Bella and I reached for the door handle of the first bedroom at the same time, but snapped back before the current could pass through us with the slightest touch.  
"What are you doing?" Bella asked, eyebrows raised, "this is mine and Jasper's room."

"No it isn't," I cocked back to her. "This is the first master, with the best view."

"Yeah. And it's mine."

"Say's who?"

"I do!" she sneered, hands on her hips.

I shook my head before retreating, grabbing Tanya's hand and pulling her toward master bedroom number two. "That's fine," I replied, smiling at Tanya then glaring over at Bella, "we don't plan to be doing much else in the bedroom anyway. You guys will need the extra activities, I'm sure."

"Don't forget we _share _a bathroom," Bella replied, pretending to ignore my comment I directed toward her, "so we'll have to create a schedule to work around that."

"Whatever." I replied, closing the door with Tanya inside. Right as I turned to ask Tanya what I thought, I heard Bella scream and laugh as the door slammed, shouting. "Jasper! Wait a second, I didn't even -" her voice cut off as she laughed louder, and I heard them falling on top of the mattress. "Oh my God!" she chuckled, screaming and giggling louder.

I looked at Tanya and took a deep breath, trying to ignore Bella's attempts to get my attention. "This is going to be fun," I said, unsure as I stared into Tanya's blue eyes.

"I know," she replied as she walked over, wrapping her arms around my waist. "What do you say we christen the bed first?"

I heard Bella laughing louder, with the mattress making squeaking noises as someone was jumping on them, pretending obviously to make sex noises.

"Sure..." I said softly with a shrug, though I didn't really want to.

I tried to ignore Bella laughing, begging for Jasper. "Get down here!" she shouted through her giggles. "Uh! Jasper! Don't stop!" she burst into more laughter, trying to piss me off worse with her antics. I heard him laughing as the bed stopped bouncing; doing what I assumed would be hugging her, or worse.

I shook my head, trying to focus on Tanya. "...Why not, right?"

_**----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- **_

**So there we go, Chapter 02! Keep the reviews and compliments/suggestions/positive feedback coming in! They are always welcome.**

**Stay tuned, because you'll never know what to expect with this story!**

**ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS/RESPONSES WILL BE POSTED HERE AT THE BOTTOM:**

**-- Yes, we will definitely be digging into their past more, so stay tuned! I know you are all interested in knowing more about other character roles, such as Rosalie and Jasper, so no worries!! It will be disclosed in due time!**

**-- Go check out the CABIN pictures I've selected for this story!! They are in my profile!**

**-- You'll soon learn about Charlie, if Edward plays music, and so on/so forth.**

**-- All of the characters are 23-24 ears old, with the exception of Jacob, who just turned 21.**

**-- The only siblings are Bella and Rosalie, and they're step-sisters.**

**-- I've kept their original last names as Stephenie Meyer herself, chose when they were human, except for Edward's because we're all used to "Cullen" and not "Masen" -- plus Carlisle is his biological father in this story. So you have... Emmett McCarty, Rosalie Dwyer [since Phil's her father in this story and that's his last name], Mary-Alice Brandon, Jasper Whitlock, Edward Cullen, Bella Swan [for her biological father, Charlie's name], and Jacob Black. They grew up in Forks, but are living in Seattle now. Most of them are in college, except Emmett, who's inheriting his father's clubs [as mentioned], Edward who's taking a break from Medical School, and Alice [Edward's roommate, best friend] who's a fashion designer**. You'll find more about this later.


	3. Hidden Discoveries

PLEASE REVIEW!

**Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit] for being the best. ;) Truly. You know why!

**Chapter Three: NSFW NSFW NSFW. RATED MATURE FOR A REASON. NSFW NSFW NSFW!  
BellaPov, EdwardPov, JacobPov, AlicePov. The EB Pov's again... I wanted to use this chapter to clear up the rest of night one in the cabin.  
"Sometimes you have to go there to find out what you're missing from someone else."**

**Things escalate between some couples just as things crash and burn for others. Random people heat things up in the most awkward of places, as Alice starts to cave in with her feelings.  
And the ending only proves that even the cocky guys have the sweetest actions. This is why they are so commonly sought after... They're the package.  
Oh, and not to mention, a whole lot of fucking confusion. Welcome to life.**

**PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS STORY IS OOC, AND THE ONLY SIBLINGS IS BELLA/ROSALIE!!  
And don't pick sides yet. That's all I'm going to say!**

* * *

Now, I realize that A LOT of you have written me PMs or in your reviews, asking me if this is going to be an Edward/Bella story... All I can say is, when you look at my previous stories, my profile, my icon, and the title of this: "

The Ex Factor : _Edward & Bella", not to mention my livejournal and anything else you know me from... who's my favorite couple in the whole world? LOL!!  
Of course, this doesn't mean it HAS to be Edward/Bella in the beginning of this... just know that EB are irreplaceable for me. No worries kiddies.  
-----___

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

**_I can't hide the way I feel about you, anymore.  
I can't hold the hurt inside, keep the pain out of my eyes, anymore.  
My tears no longer waiting... my resistance ain't that strong.  
My mind keeps recreating a life with you along,  
and I'm tired of pretending that I don't love you anymore._Chapter Three: Hidden Discoveries  
**

**...Let me make one last appeal, to show how I feel about you.  
'Cause there's no one else, I swear, holds a candle anywhere next to you.  
My heart can't take the beating of not having you to hold...  
A small voice keeps repeating, deep inside my soul... It says,  
"I can't keep pretending I don't love you anymore."  
Travis Tritt, "Anymore"**

* * *

BellaPOV

It was so funny to be able to relax after that hellacious trip, and act silly and childish. I lay on my back, watching Jasper jump up and down.

"We've got to work it in!" he shouted with a wink. "Get out all the kinks!"

I giggled, curling my knees in the air, "stop it!"

Jasper threw his body on the bed, doing a belly flop beside my head as we bounced up and down on the mattress. I giggled, rolling over to my side toward the pillows, then back around to him. He was laughing, his arms and legs still stretched out like he was flying.

That made me laugh harder. "You're so silly!" I shouted, pushing him away.

"Oh yeah? Watch this!" He climbed up on his knees, then unsteadily rose back up to his feet. His face showed nothing by amusement when he took in my curious expression.

"What are you..." I began to ask, furrowing my brows in wonder.

He bit his lip, his eyes on mine. Then he bent down and sprung himself backward, doing a back flip from the bed and onto the floor.

My mouth was gaping as I struggled to sit up, making sure he was okay. He was lying on his back, his hand on his chest, laughing like a three-year-old. I climbed off the bed onto the carpet on my knees, crawling over to him. "Aww, are you okay?"

"Yeah, that quite didn't go as well as I had planned. I'm more graceful at home."

"You have shorter ceilings in your house."

"I didn't think about that..." he smiled gracefully, melting my soul.

I couldn't help but reflect his smile... it was so consuming. Again, the ability to spread out his emotions.

Then, as fast as lightning, he jerked me over to him, my body collapsing on his chest as I laughed. He began to tickle me, rolling us over so he could hold me down with his left hand while his other hand continued to torture me. I swayed and struggled and fought against him, my laugh growing to hysterics as he held me pinned against the carpet.

"I'm going to get rug burn!" I shouted, trying to knee him in inappropriate places.

He dodged my attempt, laughing harder as his hands slid up my sides and into my shirt, poking my ribs.

"Stop it!" I shouted, raising my pelvis and pushing him up, not very well. He began to blow in my right ear, which he knows I can't handle, and it caused me to squeal and squirm even more.

"Would you stop?!" I shouted, trying my hardest to get a gain on him.

After a few more minutes of this ungodly torture, he stopped. I'm sure my face was as bright red as a beet as I lay panting, my arms still held above my head, my shirt raised up and revealing my stomach. "You..." I exhaled, my chest bouncing up and down in breaths, "...suck."

"No I don't."

"Yes... You do." I blew a piece of my hair from my nose, but it fell back. His hand raised and removed it, tucking it behind my ear. Then he cupped my cheek in his warm hand, his thumb grazing beneath my left eye. I studied his smooth expression, melting into his touch. It was so warm, I couldn't really help it.

"Bella..." he whispered, continuing to caress me.

I smiled, "yeah?"

He leaned closer to me, lying on his side beside me, propped up on his elbow as his hand continued to work my face like a magical wonder. "I really want to kiss you right now."

__

Wow, ...he said it.

I couldn't look away from him as I swallowed, absorbing his words. After a few seconds, I pursed my lips in thought. "...I really want you to kiss me too," I whispered. And I meant it, surprising myself with the honesty.

"Really?"

I nodded, leaning my face into his hand more. Gosh, he felt so _warm_.

I watched as he slowly lowered himself to me, keeping his eyes on mine. I didn't know what to think as his eyes fluttered shut, and mine instinctively followed. I felt his warm lips across mine, listened to his feather light breathing. I kept my body very still, nervous and anticipating what he'd do next. I could feel the gentleness of his mouth as he parted his lips and pushed against mine, completing our moment. His left hand moved to the nape of my neck, the right on my hips, pulling me toward him. His right hand continued its trail up my side, winding around to massage my back in light circles.

His lips seemed hesitant at first, as if he was worried about how I might react... But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't comfortable, or suddenly _excited _about this. I ran my fingers through his twisted locks, finding the back of his head as I deepened the kiss, turning my head to allow him better access. It was as if my body reattached itself, allowing me this moment of calm. Against everything I kept forcing in my head for so long, saying I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready, I wasn't ready... _this _felt right. My fingers tightened in his hair as I pushed him closer, forcing his body to mold with mine on the white carpet we were occupying.

His sweet breathed soared over my face as his lips blended with mine, deepening the kiss more. I refused to think as the questions of _why _started to come into my brain, internally shaking them away to allow myself to have this moment, which I still wanted. I was feeling joy, feeling new, feeling _sexy _even. And wanted, ...needed, possibly? I hadn't felt that way in such a long time, it was overwhelming. His tongue slowly touched my bottom lip, hesitant again, as if he were still wondering when I was going to pull away. I hummed, bringing my tongue out to meet his, to draw it into my mouth, where I wanted it.

Jasper obliged, and when his tongue found mine, I felt secure. Warm fuzzies began to trail all over my body as his hands were soft on my face, my ribs, and my back. His thumbs grazed my jaw line again as he slowly pulled away, his eyes smiling to me before his mouth did. I smiled back, not wanting him to pull away so suddenly. Then, he did something that shocked me. He pulled me into his arms, giving me a warm and much needed hug. The heat from his comfort surrounded me completely, engulfing me as I held onto him for dear life. He rubbed my back, his mouth providing sweet kisses on my right shoulder.

When he moved his face back to mine, his lips were gentle and sweet, placing a few distinct kisses on my lips. Meaningful.

I loved every second of it.

I inhaled, blinking slowly when he pulled back away from me.

"Wow," he whispered, his index and middle finger tracing a light trail along my bottom lip.

I kissed his fingers gently, keeping my eyes locked on his. Once I pulled his hand slowly from my mouth, holding onto his palm, all I could do was smile again.

"Thank you," I whispered, blending my cheek into his palm again.

"For what, darlin'?"

"For waiting until I was ready... You really are the best, Jazz."

He blinked, his deep eyes soaring through me, "you're the best, Bella. And you were worth the wait."

I bit my lip, blinking at him through a smile, "so... what do you want to do now?"

He shrugged, returning my smile, "mmm, you tell me? What _do _I want to do now?"

Only one thing came to mind, and I couldn't believe I was thinking it...

Was it too soon to suggest it?

Was it just loneliness?

Did I just want him to take away Edward's specific part in my life?

Or did I really just give in completely to Jasper's charm?

Was I really, completely, utterly falling for him, like I begged Got to allow me to do, so I could move on?

__

I guess there's only one way to find out

, I thought, as I pulled him over on me, willing him to kiss me again. 

And he happily obliged.

And boy, did it feel _good _to have this type of contact again.

* * *

**EdwardPOV  
**

Tanya pushed me back and climbed over me, straddling my hips as her hands slid from my chest to my shoulders. She flipped her head back, her blonde hair flying around, and then flowing over her shoulders.

I watched as she pulled her tank top off, unclasping her pink bra, which she allowed to fall from her arms down to my stomach.

I swallowed hard, not removing my hands from her hips.

She lowered her body to my legs, her fingers finding my zipper within seconds. Before I could think, my pants were unfastened, and she was waiting for me to lift my body so she could pull them down. I apologized to her for being so distracted, raising my hips to give her what she wanted.

My vision became blurry, and I blinked a few times to clear it. When that didn't work, I covered my face with my hands, rubbing my eyes vigorously. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me. Tanya and I have had this type of casual relationship on and off for a good while, this time for a few months straight. She's sexy. She's -- _most of the time_ -- sweet to me. She'd do any mother fucking thing I'd ask her to do with no questions asked. I know that she wants me to commit to her, she's wanted me to be more serious for years. Most guys would _kill _to have her.

Yet, here I am, watching her as she gets ready to place her mouth over my body, and all I am feeling is confusion and almost nauseated, which isn't like me. I moaned, my eyes sealing shut. Before my dick took over my mind, I found my hand sliding between her mouth and my body, gently pushing her face back up.

Tanya sighed, her hands falling to her sides as she began to grind her body against mine, needing the friction, "what's wrong, baby? Are you okay?"

I threw my arm over my face, trying to catch a breath of air and clear my thoughts, "no. I don't know."

Her hand began to caress over my abdomen as she leaned down to kiss me. I turned my head, forcing her lips to involuntarily kiss my cheek.

"Ed_ward_," she growled, her voice becoming slightly annoyed with me, "what's the matter?"

"I'm not feeling well," I lied, picking her up and placing her beside me.

"Well, let me make you feel better then," she threw her leg over my body, her hand digging into my boxers again.

I removed it quickly, pushing her leg back off of me as I sat up. "I'm not in the mood for that right now, Tanya."

She scoffed, sitting up beside me, "Edward Cullen is refusing _sex_?"

I exhaled, climbing off of the bed and refastening my jeans, "yeah, I guess I am."

"What's _wrong _with you?"

I gathered my shirt and walked into the bathroom, flipping on the light. I continued to the sink so I could splash some water on my face. "Nothing."

I watched her reflection in the mirror, as she yanked her shirt off the bed. "You've never had any problem being with me before we came here, before you were around _her_."

"Oh, here we go." _I knew she was going to pull this shit._

"I mean it."

I sighed loudly, my skin beginning to boil, "you don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes I do," she said, throwing her hands on her hips and looking back at me in the mirror. "I wish you'd just go and fuck her, get it out of your system, make yourself happy, and then get back over here so _we _can get back on track. For good!"

I smirked, shaking my head and walking back into the room, "Tanya, you and I don't _have _a track. We are what we are, and that's not a whole hell of a lot right now... Nor has it _ever _been, when you think about it."

She could tell I was beyond pissed at this point, but I knew she wasn't going to stop. "Go do it. Right now. Her room is right _there_. Quite _conveniently _placed behind you."

I stormed in front of her, forcing her to back up against the door. "Last time I _checked_," I sneered as I forced my head down to her, "I didn't have to answer to you. You're not my mother, you're not my girlfriend, and you're certainly _not _my fucking wife, have you got that? Don't you stand there and try to pull this fucking dictating bullshit on me, because it won't get you anywhere." My finger found her chin and I jerked it upward to make her look at me. "Are you understanding me?"

She fumed through her nose as she glanced up at me. I listened as she struggled to open the door behind her, but I refused to budge, forcing her to slide between my body and the door to get out. "You need to figure out what you want," she hissed at me, as I followed her out the room. "And you need to shut the fuck up," I countered.

She grabbed my forearm as I tried to walk past her, in an attempt to jerk me back to her. "Where are you going?!"

"Look Tanya. I just had a long fucking drive. It's late. I'm getting a drink and a cigarette. Is that all right with you?"

She stared at me in shock, not bothering to reply. Her eyes had her response written in them. She was expecting me to be around her every second.

I pulled my arm back and walked away, without another glance from her. "Just leave me alone, Tanya."

"Fine!"

"Fine."

* * *

**JacobPOV  
**

Oh fuck me.

My hand covered my mouth as I entered the kitchen, due to finding Rosalie wearing white bootie shorts and a plain tank top, leaning over the counter, eating a fucking _banana_. I swallowed, clearing my throat as I walked in there. I had nothing but silk black pajama pants on and a smile, and I was aware that my body reacted about fifteen seconds ago to that sight.

"What's up, Jay?" she asked, taking another bite. I shrugged, trying to act suave, "couldn't sleep. What are you doing, besides practicing your deep throat technique?"

She smirked, her tongue trailing along the tip of it in small circles as her eyes zoned in on mine, which forced my lips to part, my bottom one almost crashing to the floor. "You're not very fucking nice."

She smiled, taking another bite, "I know." I shook my head, walking around her and bumping her on her side so I could get into the fridge. She laughed and stumbled over, trailing her body to the other side of the counter, providing a nice sway with her ass out in a wide circle. I poured myself a glass of milk, watching her enjoy the rest of that in silence... Praying for one day when we could both be drunk and I could have those full lips around me.

Or hell, maybe even sober, if I was willing to work at it. When she threw the peel away, I could regain my focus. I snapped out of my daydreams, rezoning in on her face. "So," she hummed, her arms rising so she could play with her long blonde hair, "what are you doing up past your bedtime?"

I shrugged, "couldn't sleep. You?"

"Same. I was thinking about watching a movie."

"What movie?" I arched my right brow, as my tongue trailed out to my lip. All I could think about was how thin that outfit was, and how bad I wanted to taste every inch that was under it.

"I don't know. Want to help me pick one?"

"Sure."

I followed her into the living area, watching as her perfect ass bounced around in front of me in gentle rhythms. I've never seen an ass that tight in my life, and the things I was planning to do with it, including all of the above porn sights, plowed through my mind involuntarily. She leaned over and grabbed the remote, causing my breath to hitch. "Shh," she whispered, pointing in front of her. Emmett McCarty, Edward's _fuck _of a friend, was occupying the recliner, snoring as he held onto a football. Sound asleep. I nodded, sitting quietly on the couch and continuing to drink my milk. There was no way he could be a cock-block if he stayed in _Wonderland_. I crossed my fingers.

She gathered up a croche'd rainbow quilt, settling her body right next to mine, even though there was a whole couch to occupy. I noticed that, and relaxed, feeling a little smug. _Maybe this could work in my favor... _She flipped through the channels, her teeth holding her bottom lip inside her mouth as she focused. After working up the courage, I leaned in, breathing on her neck. She smelled like lilacs and sweet fruit, and I noticed the chill bumps rise on her skin. She tilted her head in my direction as she pulled away, but the smile on her lips told me she liked it. _Oh hell yes. _I pulled back, regaining my cool as I adjusted my body. I was going to play this off.

"Is _Eagle Eye_ okay? It has Shia Labeouf in it, I think."

"Sure," I smirked at her, giving her my best smile. She stared at me for a minute too long, before snapping her head back toward the television. I relaxed further, my hand on my leg, touching hers. After a few seconds of the movie beginning, I noticed her leaning toward me a bit. She wanted it. It was so fucking obvious. She was just as horny as I was. She almost seemed impatient with me, glancing at me from her peripheral vision every few minutes, trying to hold back her smile. I waited until the beginning cut, about a good ten minutes, and the second Shia crossed the picture before I made my move. I threw my arm over her shoulder and snaked my other arm around her waist, pulling her onto my lap. She started to open her mouth to object, but I shushed her as I slid my leg beneath her and along side her, so she was between my legs now and I was twisted toward the couch.

"But-"

"Shh," I whispered again, my arms trailing down her goose bumped arms. "Just relax. I won't hurt you."

She swallowed hard but stopped fighting, her back against my chest. I trailed my hands back up her arms, over her shoulders, and down across her chest, to her stomach. Her breath held as I slid my warm hands inside her tank top, rubbing the skin on her stomach gently. "Jake, what are you..." her breath stopped as I lightened my touch, bringing it up to the underside of her breasts, teasing slightly with my thumbs as my fingers skimmed her diaphragm. She tried to focus on the movie, but I knew I was getting to her. After a few more minutes of her lack of focus on Shia, she relaxed into me, her butt pressed up against my crotch.

I took that as my sign, leaning my head into her neck. "God, Rose," I whispered, my hands gripping her sides tight before trailing toward her shorts. "You don't know how bad I want to touch you right now."

She licked her lips, leaning her head back on my shoulder. She was such a fucking hottie, all I could think about was corrupting her. Making her mine. Touching her. My mouth wanted to do the dirtiest, vile things to specific, hidden parts -- two in particular. I'd only admit to myself that I've jerked off to thoughts of her more times than I'd like. Even when I've had sex with other girls, she's sometimes slipped into my fantasies. Not very often, of course. I'm not _that _pathetic... but when she does come to play, she's always the top focus. And now, I have a shot. I always thought she wanted me too... this only makes it more official. Plus, we're both nymphos, so it's in our nature to naturally bond together, at least for one night.

She moaned slightly as my fingers began to tease her nipples above her shirt, applying light circles, making her want more... _me _more. Then I moved them lower, trailing faint lines along the outside of her thighs, to her knees, to her inner thighs. "Spread your legs," I whispered huskily into her ear, to make sure _fucker _over there on the chair couldn't hear me. She did, hesitantly at first, draping the cover over us tighter, in order to hide us. I brought my hand over her heated center, my middle finger on the seam of her shorts as my thumb grazed her pubic region. She was smooth as butter, no stubble at all through her shorts. _Such a fucking turn on._ And as I pushed against her center with my finger, I noticed she was wet. Very _wet_. My erection grew within seconds as I began to apply more pressure against her, teasing her through the thin fabric. She wasn't wearing anything beneath them, so I could really enjoy the feel of her folds, and her lips, and her form through the fabric. She pushed toward my palm, demanding more pressure. I had to bite my lip from smiling, pressing my lips beneath her right ear. "Are you sure?" I asked, my fingers teasing her more.

She nodded, swallowing hard, her fingers gripping my pants. I licked my lips as I slid my right hand up to the top, then down inside, my left hand remaining on her left thigh, keeping it spread open. She was smooth, soft and wet, and as I continued to lower, I found her sweetest spot ripe and glazed over. I grazed tiny circles around her entrance, never entering, before trailing my middle finger along her folds, back up and down, with light caresses. The rest of my fingers, with the exception of my thumb, trailed along her warm lips, slight motions, as my thumb caressed over her pubic bone. She hummed as I deepened this tease, but refused to enter. Then I found my way up to her clitoris and she gasped, her body arching toward me.

I smiled, refusing her that much enjoyment, trailing back down. Up down, up down, slow, slower, _slowest_. Fast. Slow again. I continued this motion until she was red in the face with frustration, almost begging me with her eyes. I breathed into her neck, causing her to close her eyes as I sucked slightly on it. I was tempted to mark her, but knew it wouldn't be good if she intended to get laid here by someone else, so decided against it. She moaned louder as I barely inserted my index finger, just enough to tap against her walls.

"Shhh," I whispered, nodding my head in Emmett's direction. She swallowed hard, licking her lips and nodding. I inserted it deeper, causing her to gasp. She became wetter at that instant, and I enjoyed it far more than I should. She began to rock her body against me, grinding in circles along my erection, demanding more friction. I swallowed, giving in as long as she didn't stop. I began to move my finger in and out of her tight walls as she clutched my pants, her hot breath on my face. "More," she gasped, spreading her legs wider. God she had the ability to turn me on faster than anyone else ever did. I picked up my pace, my thumb flicking along her sensitive bud as I worked my magic.

She relaxed and caved in, then tightened and gasped, then hummed and sighed against me with every new motion I used. She felt so warm around my hand, all I could think about was being inside of her. So slick. So sexy. When I inserted another finger, she moaned loudly, and said my name. "Oh, _Jacob_. That feels so _good_, _please _don't stop." I beamed silently and felt smug to myself, bringing my left hand around. I slid that hand inside her shorts as well, working her bud with my left middle finger as my two fingers on my right hand worked her entrance. She bit her lip to stop making so much noise, as Emmett adjusted his body, keeping his eyes closed. I tried to be gentle with her, not wanting to hurt her. I didn't know how far she wanted me to take this. I swallowed, panting into her skin.

"More," she said. "Please?" I nodded, inserting a third, causing her to begin to tremble. She felt so tight, so hot. I curled my fingers up toward her belly button, as my left hand continued giving her light circles on the top. She gasped, shutting her eyes tight. She threw her right hand behind my head, tugging at my hair as her moans came repetitive and her body pushed harder against me. "Don't do it," I whispered seductively into her right ear. "I'm not ready for you to come yet." She threw her head back hard against me, fighting her body's urge of release. "Oh God, I can't _help _it."

"Yes you can," I whispered, lightly nibbling her ear, teasing her more. "...Do it for me. Wait until I say, baby." She gasped, shutting her eyes tighter as I picked up my pace. She pushed against me, so that I entered her farther. I mimicked her actions, pushing as deep as I could go before slowly pulling out, then doing it again. She covered her mouth with her right hand, moaning loudly into her palm. I breathed raggedly in her neck, fighting against my will to just flip her over on her knees and enter her from behind. That was all I wanted to do. But I wanted to get her off more... and I wanted to be the best she had doing it. "God, Rosalie," I moaned lightly into her ear, "you don't know how bad I want to taste you right now." Her eyes sealed tighter as she forced her ass on my dick, so hard that it caused me to buckle over her. But I refused to react, readjusting my body as I continued to work her, more urgently now. She whimpered, her breath coming in lighter gasps.

"Please, please, I can't... c-can't stop it," she cried, begging me to tell her when. Her body was all but the force of a clothes dryer, shaking so violently against me. Any second now, and I knew my name was going to slip from her lips. And it did. "Oh Jake... _Ugh_, oh _Jake_..._Mmmm_..." I pushed harder against her bud, so harshly with tight circles as my fingers curled up inside her again. She cried loudly into her hand, jerking my face toward her. She twisted her head around as I continued, her lips meeting mine. And we kissed, her tongue plunging deep into my mouth. I returned it, loving the sweet taste of her surrounding me. She let out a cry into my lips, so sexy that I thought I'd combust. Then she shuttered so rapidly, so overwhelming that she stopped kissing, her lips merely floating above mine. I felt her walls pulsing around my hands as she rocked around between my legs. After a few long seconds of whimpers and writhes, she gasped, collapsing like putty into my warm arms.

I allowed her to come down in silence, my hands trailing along her arms and my chin on her shoulders. She smiled proudly, satisfied with her end results. With _me_. Thank fucking God. I applied a slight kiss to her jaw, inhaling her scent greedily. We focused on the movie, and I couldn't help but feel cheeky, knowing that I had the ability to make her move like that, and not wake that _dipshit _up.

"That felt so good," she whispered, wrapping my arms around her waist.

"That's nothing," I replied, kissing her jaw again. "I'll give you another one here after the movie, if you'd like... A _better _one."

She closed her eyes, humming to herself, "I don't know if I can handle it."

"Sure you can."

She smiled, thinking, "Do I have to return the favor?"

"Not unless you wanted to... I'd never force you or demand it. My concern was wanting to get you off."

She sighed, cuddling against me, "maybe I _do _want to."

"Well," I beamed against her neck as I nestled her against me, "maybe I'll let you."

* * *

**EdwardPOV  
**

After smoking a few cigarettes out on the deck by the lake, enjoying the stars up above, I re-entered the dark house. All the lights were turned off, as most were too exhausted from the long ass trip to stay up, but I could see the reflection of the television on in the living room.

I strolled in there, trying to find who occupied the remote. Emmett was asleep in the laz-e boy recliner, snoring like a baby. And Rosalie and Jacob looked wrapped up in each other, underneath a blanket that my mom, Esme, made for Bella about five years back. They seemed oddly relaxed into each other, and that made me nauseated.

I dragged my feet back into the kitchen and opened up the always-stocked liquor cabinet beneath the island. I pulled out a bottle of Old Granddad Bourbon, one of the strongest in the world. I used to drink it with my dad when I'd come up here and visit him. This shit is slightly disgusting, but it gets you fucked up after a mere three shots. I poured a few shots into a glass with ice and leaned against the sink, taking in the full moon over the lake. It shined over to my right, and as in took a relaxing breath and a sip of my drink, my mind became suddenly occupied.

FLASH! _Bella and I on the patio by the outside fireplace, wrapped up in a blanket and taking in a view of the lighted sky._ FLASH! _"Do you ever wonder if there's someone that looks identical to us, but standing on the moon, looking back at our direction?"_ FLASH! _I chuckled, pulling her closer against my chest_,_ "What, like a mirrored image?" _FLASH! _Her fingers intertwining with mine as I locked them around her stomach, refusing to let her go. "Yeah," she whispered into my jaw. "Like an alternate universe, where the exact same thing is happening over there?" _FLASH! _Burying my face in the back of her hair, soaking up her _strawberry_-cinnamon scent greedily. "I hope not". _FLASH! _Her adorable pout, as she asked, "_why_ not?" _FLASH! _"Well... regardless of how selfish I may sound, I wouldn't want anyone else to have our type of relationship... I kind of enjoy the fact that we're so rare... so happy all the time... I _enjoy _being able to recognize how special you are, and that you're one of a kind... I want you to remain irreplaceable in my life, so I'll always be aware of how big your extreme importance _is _in my life... that way I'd never be willing to lose you."_ FLASH!

"Edward? What are you doing up?"

I turned, finding Alice standing in low-rise white, drawstring pajama pants, and a yellow wife-beater. Her hair was piled up on the top of her head in a small pony-tail, with little pieces that were too short falling back down, around her face and neck. She looked so damn adorable, I had to smile at her.

After all, she is my _sunshine_.

* * *

**AlicePOV  
**__

God, did he look incredible

. That crooked smile, standing there in a plain white t-shirt, blue jeans, no shoes, bronzed hair... I returned his smile, bouncing over there to give him a hug. I smelled bourbon on his breath, mixed with cigarettes, and noticed the melted ice in his empty cocktail glass. "Where's Tanya?"

He scoffed, rubbing my back before walking over to the island and refilling his glass, "who cares."

"Uh... I don't know."

He chuckled, shaking his head and leaning against the counter. He looked up to the light fixture, running his index finger along the rim of the glass. "I am so over that girl, man."

I hopped up on the island, picking up his bottle and sniffing it. He laughed as he took in my sour expression.

I frowned, "it's not funny."

"It's a little funny," he replied with his signature wink, which caused my breath to fall short.

"So..." I said, trying to regain my heartbeat, "what happened this time?"

He groaned, taking another sip. I watched him slide his hand inside his shirt, rubbing along his stomach, "I don't know. I mean, yes, she has a sweet spot and has put up with my shit. And sure, she's sexy as fuck. I'm not going to lie. But I look at her sometimes, and I find myself wondering if I only keep her around because I don't want to be alone... She's great, the sex is good most times... but it's just not _there_. Do you know what I mean? I sort of figured I'd grow feelings for her in time... especially by now... but I come up empty." He sighed, drinking more, "Tanya's just the sexy blonde I bring home with me when I don't want to sleep alone."

He scoffed, the puzzled expression on his face not altering, "I'm such a dick."

"No you're not," I shook my head, giving him my best upbeat smile. "Tanya knows how you are, Edward. You guys have this unhealthy on-off-on-off, fight, make up, but never become exclusive boyfriend-girlfriend relationship thing. It's been going on for some time now. I'm sure she's accepted her fate as the replacement party."

"I don't think so, Al. I can see it in her eyes... she wants more. It's like she's expecting me to propose or some shit."

I pursed my lips, taking a big swig of his nasty alcohol from the bottle. "I think it's time you end it then. I think you're ready for it to be over."

He nodded, walking toward me and sitting his glass on the counter, "I think your right..."

I ran my fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp and enjoying the view of him rolling his eyes in the back of his head to my touch. _Just tell him, Alice. Tell him how you feel... _I felt my heart accelerate, and I dropped my hands. Clearing my throat, I filled his glass with another shot, and drank it myself.

"Alice," he huffed as he licked his lips, "that's going to be enough to knock you out. You're too tiny, sweetheart."

I nodded, finishing the shot. My hands trembled as I sat the glass back on the counter. My knees couldn't stop shaking, my feet refusing to quit twitching. His warm hand fell on my right knee as he stepped to put his forehead on my collar bone, sighing loudly. _Tell him, tell him, tell him! _

"I'm so glad you're here," he whispered, his hot breath on sending me chills. "You're my most favorite person in this whole world."

I inhaled, my brain swarming with a million thoughts, all including him. "I'm glad I'm here too, E."

His hands lifted mine from my lap, and he spread out my fingers, placing my cold palms on his warm face. I sighed, pressing my nose into his hair.

Edward Cullen has been my best friend since we were three years old. He's been the only man in my life that has never let me down, never hurt me. And for the past three and a half years, I've let this get the best of me, and have fallen secretly in love with him, ever since we moved in together. I've watched him go through sporadic relationships, my heart aching for him when it goes south, which it always does. We've helped each other bail out on dates, pretended to be each other's lovers to avoid being asked out... We stay up late curled up on the couch, sharing a tub of popcorn while watching old movies. We talk about everything, even things we wouldn't tell anyone else, not even our own reflections. We've seen each other at our best's and worst's. I wouldn't be here without him. He's helped me through some really rough patches, like when my best friend of seven years, Tasha, died in a car accident. And I've tried to be there for him too, as much as I can. Our families are close, and my mom loves him.. There are no secrets between us, besides this little one of mine.

And sometimes, he pulls me to him and gives me a crooked smile... and I find myself wondering if he feels the same for me as I do him, but may not realize it yet?

Edward lifted his head, his eyes still closed. I stroked his jaw and bottom lip with my thumbs as my heart grew heavier. It killed me to be this close to him sometimes. Almost making me masochistic, since I'd never miss an opportunity to be around him, or to feel him like this... Because regardless of how much pain I'll be in, or how many tears I'll cry over him by morning... I find myself constantly enjoying his presence.

I know the _real _him. I see the him that isn't so cocky, or flashy. He'll give me a smile, and I'll see that little boy I pushed on the tire swing when we were little. The thirteen-year-old boy who beat up the bully on the basketball court after he pushed me down and made me cry. The fifteen-year-old who taught me how to drive a stick. And the nineteen-year-old who begged me to never leave him, saying how his life couldn't possibly make sense without me.

I brushed my lips across his forehead, and he hummed softly. _All you have to do is lift his face, Alice. Just lift it up and kiss him. _Nervously, I licked my lips and raised his chin with my index finger. My heart was racing as he opened his green eyes slowly, focusing in on mine. I felt my chest splitting in two from the push in my head and the pull of fear of rejection battling it out. My breath hitched as his hands found my hips, and my bottom teeth pulled in my top lip to suck on it. I was stalling, and knew it. But I've never been this terrified in my life.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered, as he tilted his head to my right, drowning me with his diamond eyes.

"Um..." I struggled to respond, my voice shaky. I chewed the inside of my bottom lip, so scared that I was almost in tears. It felt as if my entire body was an earthquake, shaking at no end in sight. "I'm...I-I..." I closed my eyes, trying to breathe correctly. I couldn't focus, couldn't stop shaking.

His hand brushed my jaw line. His voice was velvety smooth, and soft. Gentle. "Alice, what's on your mind? You look like you're about to cry..."

I nodded, closing my eyes and feeling betrayed when a single tear slid down my cheek. I heard him sigh and felt him move between my legs. Suddenly, my entire body was engulfed with his warmth and smell as his arms pushed me into his chest. He held me close, hugging me tight. I buried my eyes into his shoulder, trying to will myself away from having a panic attack. More tears escaped my eyes, soaking his white shirt. His hands began to run along my back, and without realizing it, his touch caused me more pain. All I wanted him to do was yank me off this bar and kiss me. Just... truly _kiss _me, with a passion that proved he wanted to do it. That he wanted me. I gripped his shirt with my fingers in my turmoil, feeling more vulnerable by the second as I sobbed against him.

"Shh," he whispered, pulling me gently off the counter.

I wrapped my legs around him, burying my face in his neck. I felt him carrying me up steps of some sort, but I didn't dare to look to see where. My entire body was a rusted car wreck, bundled together too tight and trembling against his warm frame. I hated being like this around him. Normally, I was the bubbly, bouncy girl, who danced around the kitchen and put on fake concerts for him while singing into the spatula I was cooking spaghetti with. Now, I was a defeated, vibrating slab of skin, sobbing in his ear like a two-year-old. I felt so lonely, and I hated it. I didn't want to be in love with someone, feeling unsure on whether or not they loved me back. And most of all, I hated not being able to talk to anyone about it. _He_ was my best friend, the only person I confided in. There was no way I could talk to him about _this_. And Emmett, he figured it out about three months back, but I've remained solid on my denials... all the way until now.

I felt him sitting on a bed, me still in his arms. "Here we go," he whispered, soothing me as he rubbed my back. "Let's get you into bed so that you'd be more comfortable, and then we can talk, is that all right?"

I shook my head, clutching him tighter. There was no way in hell I was going to allow him to let me go now. I didn't want him to see me like this. I needed to pull it together first. His hands glided up my spine to my neck. He gently removed the pony-tail from my short hair, allowing it to fall around my face, full of volume. I inhaled his scent, sighing into his neck.

"Why are you trembling, sweetheart?" he asked, his hands rubbing my arms frivolously.

I shrugged, unable to speak. After a few minutes of relaxing my breathing, I reluctantly allowed him to pull me back. My puffy, glazed eyes found his beautiful equally-glazed ones, and my heart stopped instantly. Why did he have to be so perfect, even in his imperfectways? Why did his fingers know how to soothe me? Why did his smile melt permanently into my soul?

"E-Edward," I mumbled, my lip quivering. _Gosh, just get it out, Alice. The quicker you get it out, the better you'll feel. _"I need to talk to you." I swallowed, the pain escaping through my eyes.

He wrapped his hands under my arms and behind me, his fingers locking on the small of my back. "Sure. Anything."

I took a deep breath, feeling the scared emotions crawling back up my body, "it's about.. me... a-and..." I closed my eyes, shaking my head as another tear fell. Gosh, this was so hard! Why did it have to be this hard?

"Me... _and_..?" he dipped his head gently, trying to get me to talk.

My trembling voice was a faint whisper, and I couldn't catch my breath. "Me... and... um..." I inhaled, refusing my lungs the correct amount of air, "um..."

"Go ahead, love. It's all right."

"Um... i-it's about me, and .... y-you," I exhaled, getting the first part out. Step one.

He nodded, rubbing my back with his locked fingers, "okay... what's up?"

I sighed, looking down to my lap. There was no way I could do this. He was too clueless, which meant he couldn't possibly feel this way about me. _He doesn't feel the same way, Alice._ My tears escaped me again, and I caved into him, collapsing in his arms almost.

He refused to let me fall into him, holding me firm in his grip. "Please tell me, Alice. Was it something I did?"

I nodded, more tears falling from my damp lashes.

"What did I do?" he whispered, rubbing my arms. "Tell me, and I'll fix it."

I shook my head, trembling again, "I can't tell you."

"Yes you can. I'd never want to hurt you, Alice."

I sobbed louder, wishing I never came downstairs earlier, and never stuck myself in this horrible mess of emotions and extreme vulnerability, "I can't."

"Yes you can. You _can_, Alice. _Please_."

I shook my head, the pain in my chest taking me over.

"Please?" he sighed, and I could tell he was getting nervous. Almost nervous as me.

I shook my head again, "you'll think I'm stupid."

"Alice," he chuckled, rubbing my back, "I'd never think that. Never have, never will."

"You _will _tonight," I cried.

"I promise I won't."

I sighed as his eyes found mine again. I cradled his face in my cold, shaken hands. I chewed my lip, taking a deep breath.

His eyes were so warm, so inviting as he held onto my body so tight.

I closed my eyes, not breathing any longer. Then I pushed my lips to his. _Forcefully_.

Because if I was going to blur the lines, I needed to make it count.

* * *

**EdwardPOV  
**

She crushed her warm lips to mine, causing me to tense instantly. But she refused to move, and I could feel the tears sliding from her eyes, along my cheeks as our faces were pressed against each other. I didn't know what to think, or what to do. This couldn't be what she was trying to tell me, what she was getting all worked up over... _Could it?_

No, it had to be something else... the alcohol? Was it that we were both intoxicated? Lonely? Both confused for different reasons, of course? Maybe she just needed comforting, or maybe she was afraid to be alone, like I was? Maybe she'd thought I'd feel she was stupid for feeling the same way as I did about loneliness, and she thought I'd joke around with her about it...

I found her face, gently pulling her away from my mouth so I can breathe. "Alice, what are you-"

She shook her head, crushing my lips to hers as her hand found the back of my head, pulling me close to her. My body reacted to her aggressiveness, and as she pushed her chest into mine, getting closer to me, a million thoughts of panic and lust crossed over me in a heavy mixture. She wrapped her arms around my neck, grinding against me with more force. Then she forced me down on her bed, climbing up on me.

I parted my lips to gather air from her firm attempts, but she took advantage of that, molding hers with mine. I felt her tongue slide into my mouth and could hear her sobbing still, and her body was trembling beyond point of reason at this point. "Mmm-mmm," I couldn't make out any words, and she just shook her head, refusing me, while gripping my hair tighter in her hands. I was so confused, I began kissing her back without thinking about it. My right hand was still on her back, my left hand finding her neck and pushing her onto me so I could slide my tongue into her mouth. _I cannot believe that we were fucking doing this._ We've gone twenty years knowing each other, and have never, _ever _kissed or had any type of relationship beyond close friendship. Yet, here we were, allowing this fragile moment to overtake us.

She was an _amazing _kisser. _Oh my God._ As her body began to relax over mine, her kisses became slower, sensual. _Sexy_, even. And I'd never allow myself to ever think Alice was sexy, not like _this _anyway. Sure, she was through my friendship eye, but never through my sexual eye. I gasped when our lips parted, but lifted my face, not allowing us to break for long. I didn't know what the hell was going on, and I couldn't figure out why we were allowing this to happen. But my heart was beating inside my throat, and my body was lit on fire with arousal. So of course I'd react to this. I'm only human.

I gripped her arms, pulling her harder against my chest, allowing her to slightly moan in my mouth. She felt so warm against my skin, flourishing me more. I'd never been this turned on, not since Bella. Of course, this didn't have the same effect as Bella did for me, but this ranked a decent second by far. And I've been with a few girls to really put some thought into my ranking system.

But as her tongue trailed along mine, so slowly and enduringly, it made me realize that we just went over the fucking hill of best friends. I rolled over her, to try and stop us, but as she threw her legs around me, I felt my body react again to her again. I kissed her harder, with more passion. Her fingers dove into my hair, running along the back of my head and down my neck, causing me to shiver. I ground my body between her thighs, feeling her warmth on my jeans. Surrounding me... Intoxicating.

"Alice," I panted, pulling myself up on my elbows to try and take my weight off of her. I was afraid to fucking crush her, she was so tiny, "what the fuck are we doing?"

She yanked my head back down, forcing her tongue between my lips. I allowed her access, moaning into her mouth. My body began to grow hotter, more aroused by the second. And I was confused as _fuck_. I just turned down Tanya a few hours ago, and here I was, frolicking with my best friend in the entire world, in a double-bed room. She crushed her legs around my waist, forcing me down on her harder. "Edward," she whispered, her mouth trailing to my chin, "I want you." She licked from my jaw, down to my neck, her fingers curling into my hair. My heart pounded through my chest. She _wanted _me? Holy fuck. _What the hell do I do?_ She tugged on me, her fingers in my belt loops, begging for more contact. I rolled over us back over, and my hands found her hips, holding her steady. She thrusted her body against mine again, creating a warm fricition between my jeans and her think white pants. Forward, backward, hard, soft. She moaned, her hands tangling in my shirt.

I gripped her hips, pulling her body up. I caught a glimpse of her hooded eyes as she fastened her fingers to my shoulders, and it was such a fucking turn on. All I could think about was being inside of her, of tasting her. So I continued to pull her, to where she was straddling my chest. Then, holding her there, I lifted my body to a sitting position, my hands supporting her back and neck, and stood up. Her eyes were wide as her knees were along my shoulders. I gave her my crooked smile, causing her to roll her eyes in the back of her head. Then I leaned her over Emmett's bed, me above her again. I lowered my face into her shirt, inhaling her scent. _Lilac_, I think. _So sexy. _

I continued my trail, pulling her shirt up her chest and licking along her abdomen, down and around her belly button. She gasped, arching her back. Begging me for more. I continued my path, spreading her legs, breathing my hot breath over her thin pants... along her waistband, then the pelvic bone.. lower... I could smell her sweet arousal, and it only obliterated my mind more. I pressed my mouth against her, causing her to moan loudly. I hummed against her skin, soaking in that shit. _God, what is she doing to me? Where the fuck were our heads right now?_ I pushed my face into her warmth again, causing her to gasp and hum, gripping my shoulders. She smelled so fucking delicious, it almost caused me to shoot off right there.

I was torn between what I wanted to do. And the dizziness from _Old Grand Dad _wasn't helping my judgement. Half of me wanted to rip her pants off and devour her whole, begging to hear her moan my name until she couldn't speak, and the other half wanted to just sink inside her so deep, so violent, and break this fucking bed frame. I let out my tongue, licking her through the thin fabric, up between her folds. "Not yet!" she gasped, making my decision for me as she pulled me up to her.

I smiled, kissing her neck again, licking along her ear. "_God_, you taste so sweet," I whispered into her ear, causing her to shiver underneath me. She rolled us over, climbing up on me, and grinding her hips harder into me. I gripped her petite body, forcing her to move again. Up, down, up, down. My erection was straining against my jeans, but the contact felt too good to resist, even if it was dry. I threw my head back, forcing her to be rougher on me. "Open your eyes," she panted, her nails running inside my shirt. I did, just enough time to see her smile at me. Then she yanked off her yellow tank top, revealing to me her small, but beautifully round breasts. I gasped, my eyes widening as I took in the view. _What in the hell was going on here? How did we get here? Why aren't we stopping?_ I leaned up, kissing a trail along her collar bones, jerking her small frame against me. I felt her hands on my shirt, yanking it up from the back. Once she drew it to my shoulders, I stopped sucking on her neck for just enough time to allow her to pull it off. Then I crushed my warm lips back against her tight skin, licking first, then sucking harder... and harder... and _harder_... I almost wanted to draw _blood_, I was so filled and overtaken with lust.

She moaned, throwing her head back as she gripped my shoulders. Her body trembled with my touch, as I leaned her back, trailing kisses from her chin, down her neck, between her breasts... I continued to lean her back, kissing her abdomen, trailing lower again. _I wanted to taste her... _Her knees were bent along my shoulders, and she moaned loudly, pushing her pelvis against mine. "Please, _oh_, don't stop." she cried to me, humming slightly. "I'm not," I whispered, nuzzling my face in her skin between her breasts. She gasped, pushing harder against me as I brought her back up to straddle me. She shoved me back, climbing to her feet between the beds. She grabbed my jeans, yanking me closer to her, my butt almost falling off the bed. She unfastened my button and zipper, and looked up at me. I smiled at her, still confused as fuck on water. She returned the expression, looking beyond lusted, applying gentle kisses along my stomach, at the waistband of my jeans.

The alcohol was beyond settled in my body, and the lights began to blur and blend above me. And with her few shots, I knew she was gone too.

I felt her hot breath on my skin as she lowered my jeans. I heard her gasp, and I popped my head up, to see if she was all right. Then I noticed she had me in her right hand, fully erect. And it was fucking weird, and hot, and confusing to see Alice, my best friend, on her knees, holding my dick, which was turned on because of what _she _was doing. She began to stroke it lightly, wrapping her tiny fingers around me as tight as she could. I gasped, throwing my head back in the sheets as I let out a groan.

It felt so good, but so wrong at the same time.

I felt her hot breath come closer, and right as I gasped, she had me in her mouth. "Oh God," I groaned again, overwhelmed by how her small mouth began to take more of me. I heard her exhaling and knew she was struggling as she tried to push it further. But she seemed so relaxed, and it felt really good... Too good...

FLASH! _Bella and I in my bedroom at my parents house._ FLASH!_ Bella gasping as she took me in her hands for the first time_. FLASH! _"Edward, I don't know how to do this!" she said, her face blushing that adorable color I love so much. _FLASH! _Me, unable to take my eyes off of her._ _"Bella, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. I'd never force you." _FLASH! "_I know, but I want to... a lot." _FLASH! _I chuckled, throwing my head back_, "why_ do you want to so bad?"_ FLASH!_ "Because... I want to make you feel good... and... maybe I'd like you to return the favor some day..."_FLASH! _"What?" I replied, my eyes wide in shock as I couldn't believe my shy, beautiful, innocent girlfriend just said that. God, she had this easy ability to unhinge me. She was so adrorable. _FLASH! _"It's true," she confessed with a fascinated smile. "I want to do everything with you one day... We might as well practice now, right?" _FLASH!

My eyes popped open and I lost my breath, sitting straight up. "Stop. Stop Alice," I pushed her back gently, my hands on her shoulders. Her eyes were wide in shock, and her mouth was open.

I shook my head, suddenly feeling really shitty, and really into a panic, "we can't. We can't. I'm sorry. We can't do this."

She stood up, covering her chest. "E-Edward? What's wrong?" she looked petrified, "d-did I do something?"

I found her shirt, throwing it over her body and covering her up, "no Alice, it's me. This is my fault."

Then I fastened my jeans back up, my heart pounding out of my chest. A big wave of heat crushed over my face, and I felt like I could faint, this mixture between confusion, guilt, lust, anger, and everything between surrounding me completely. I felt like I suddenly just got caught doing something really shady by my parents. I found my shirt, throwing it back on. She grabbed a hold of my waist, looking more startled, "tell me what I did, please. I'm sorry, I thought you wanted t-"

I cut her off, shaking my head, "Alice, I did, at the moment, but... I can't do this. Not with you. You're my best friend, and it's wrong to get caught up in lust and risk everything. I don't want to lose you in my life."

"Edward, do you remember when you asked me if you did something and I said yes?" she asked, throwing her arms over her chest.

I nodded, swallowing hard as my body began to tremble.

"Well.. what you did is... You made me fall in love with you. I'm in love with you. I have been for three years. So you won't have to lose me... because I love you."

I froze. Like a sculpture.

My hands on her arms still, my lips parted, my eyes locked on hers.

I couldn't think.

It seemed like the moments dragged on, but no words came to mind.

She swallowed, her eyes bouncing from side to side between my eyes, "s-say something."

I raised my eyebrows, still unable to move my body anywhere else.

"Edward..." her lip began to quiver, "please say something."

I exhaled, my chest caving in.

A tear slid down her cheek, making all the reality of the past hour or so slam over me. I felt guilty as fuck.

And more confused than ever... except for one thing.

"I love you too, Alice," I said, for the first time to a girl. And meant it.

She exhaled heavily, her hand on her chest. She was shocked, and I could tell she didn't hear me how I needed her to hear me.

"But..." I said, my voice as faint as a whisper, "...I love Bella, too. ...and I loved her first."

She took a step back, sitting unsteadily on Emmett's bed. Her hands trembling in her lap.

I looked down to my feet, feeling like it couldn't get worse than this. "I was in love with her, Alice."

She let out a faint breath, falling into herself for a second, "h-how do you know? You never told me that before."

"I never told her either."

She looked up, sniffling through her constant tears of rejection that I couldn't help take away from her, "she moved on, Edward. I saw them before I found you in the kitchen. T-They were downstairs, by the pool on the lounge chairs. They were making out. Hard core. Him on top of her on that _stupid _plastic chair. And... Bella was smiling. She was happy... without you..."

I nodded, my body beginning to buckle in the circumstance.

"She moved on, Edward. It was very clear."

I walked over to her and she scooted back from me, in the middle of Emmett's bed.

"Alice," I whispered, slowly extending to touch her leg, "I wish I knew of your feelings for me _before _we got so carried away... things would have turned out very different. I don't mean to reject you, and believe me, if I wasn't so fucked up, I _would _be with you. I know how much you mean to me, and I don't ever want to lose you in my life... I know you feel the same about me, even though you're hurting pretty bad right now... I wish I could take this pain away from you, make it right like I'd normally do. ...But... I can't. Not because I wouldn't want to, because any other time... You know... But, I just... I'm so sorry..."

"You're not ready to move on yet," she finished my sentence, her red eyes slowly looking up to meet mine.

I nodded, swallowing the cardboard feeling out of my throat. "I know, it's weird how I can be with someone else, like Tanya, whom I don't even give a shit about... but not you. And I don't know if I could ever be with Bella again, especially after everything we've put eachother through... but I'm unable to let that final piece go yet."

It hurt to hear the words come out, even from a different body.

It made it all reality at this very moment.

"Alice, I love you..." I whispered, bending down to hug her, though she didn't hug me back.

"But you have to go," she whispered.

I kissed the top of her head gently, allowing a tear to fall from my eye on top of her head.

"Please don't hate me," I whispered, my hands trembling as I rubbed her arm.

"...I'd never hate you Edward," she sobbed, her voice shaken and broken as she tried to speak between gasps of air, "but I can't stop loving you either."

I nodded, unable to remove my face from her head yet as I began to cry with her. God, this was horrible. All my fault, once again.

I kissed her head a few more times, trying to catch a breath, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Go, Edward," she cried, her hand patting me on my chest and lightly pushing me back, "you need to go and just clear your head... Get yourself sorted... I'll be fine, I promise."

"Alice.."

"Please..." she cried, covering her mouth for a few seconds. She blinked, moving further away from me. "Please... Just go."

I bit my lip, shoving my hands in my pocket as I stepped back from her. "I really do love you, Alice. You'll always be that first girl I told."

She sobbed louder, nodding her head, "I really love you too, Edward. But I'll also always be that girl you'll... never be able to fall _in _love with."

And then my heart broke.

Right there.

With that statement.

Because it was true.

And sad.

I backed up to the door, my stomach falling lower to the ground with each step. I listened to her sobs, getting louder as I opened the door. Then I pushed myself out, before I ran over there and made a bigger mistake, by trying to make it right... for her, but not me. In a very wrong way...

**__**

*&*#!#$^%$^

I spent the next hour smoking cigarettes on the front porch. And freaking out. Then smoking some more... until I ran out of cigarettes. Then I gave myself a headache.

And once I began to drink again, I almost made myself get sick.

I couldn't figure out how quickly I let things get so fucked up. Why didn't I see the signs?

It wasn't like Alice to throw herself at people... I mean, sure, she liked to tease and flirt... but she brought two men home last year. _Two_. That's it. For a single girl with no set person to hook up with, that looks _that _good and is _that _incredibly sweet... that's rare. She has standards, _high _standards... and now she's telling me that she is in love with _me_, and that I pretty much top those standards.

__

Me

. Her best friend. The fucked up one over here who is more confused that fucking ever before. 

Yep. _That's _me.

I buried my face into my hands again, rubbing my eyes fervently. I had no fucking idea how things were going to be between Alice and I from here on out. And it scared me shitless to think about us losing our friendship. I'd never be able to make it through without her. She was my best friend.

I growled, forcing myself to get up, since I was almost frostbit in the cold weather. I jogged inside, and headed toward the living room. I shook Emmett, telling him to get in bed. I told him to check on Alice, that she seemed upset, but I didn't know why. I knew she wouldn't tell him what happened, but if she wasn't all right, I knew he'd come find me if it were serious.

Then I saw Tanya lying on the couch asleep. I thought about waking her up, but knew I didn't want her in that bed with me. I didn't want to deal with her; I didn't need her bitching or trying shit. So I left her there.

As I was heading toward the steps to get to my room, I noticed a door halfway opened, with blue lights reflecting on the hard wood floor.

I tilted my head, opening the door slightly.

Then my breath stopped.

There Bella was, folded with her knees to her chest, hugging a copy of _Mansfield Park_ and a tiny notepad to her chest tightly.

Jasper wasn't around her, but I figured he wouldn't have left her there. She probably told him to go on up to bed, that she wanted to read for awhile. There was nothing that could compare to a good book in Bella's eyes.

I sat beside her in the next chair, watching the blue water reflecting on her face from the yellow lights in the pool and on the ceiling. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful in her own little world. And safe. She was cuddled up wearing a long white sweater that could be tied in front. The sleeves were too long, and covering her hands. Her long, chestnut hair was curled between her shoulder and her cheek, flowing down along her chest. Her long eyelashes were placed gently along her high cheek bones, so tender it could melt your heart.

I sighed, shaking my head.

I knew I needed to move on from her, that we'd never have a chance again.

There was no way she could forgive me for what I did and didn't do, and I wasn't too sure whether or not I could forgive her either.

But I still cared for her, despite my actions. And hers.

I closed my eyes and leaned forward, tucking my arms beneath her light, warm body. I lifted her up with my legs, tucking her into my chest as I stood. Her head fell onto my right shoulder, and I caught a whiff of her beautiful scent, strawberries and cinnamon, just as I remembered the last time we were this close. Again, I felt my body begin to ache as I pulled her against me, walking out of the room. Her books stayed nestled between her chest and mine, but I didn't mind. I held my breath as I trailed out the door, and up the two sets of stairs lightly.

As I passed the second story, I heard sobbing come from three doors down, followed by a, "shhhh... I've got you, come here," in a soft but hoarse just-woken-up voice. Emmett was comforting Alice... just as I knew he would. Because though that mother fucker could put on a show and pretend he doesn't care, he does. He always has. And he loved Alice like a little sister... and would probably give me a lot of hell in the morning if he finds out what I did.

I continued my tour, all the way up to the third story. She sighed, nuzzling her face into my shoulder, without recognizing it. It caused me to freeze in the hallway, unable to breathe. I looked down at her, and keeping her up with my right arm, I swept the hair out of her face with my left hand... and she was smiling at me. In her sleep.

Like she used to.

I scoffed, forcing myself to move again. _She probably thinks you're Jasper or some shit._

Turning and backing up, I carefully and quietly opened her bedroom door, trying not to wake him up. I noticed him sleeping on his back, fully dressed and above the covers. I bit my lip, walking around the bed to her side. I leaned in, placing her gently onto the comforter. Then I pulled the white fabric from under her, and took off her shoes. She was still sound asleep as I went to cover her up.

I leaned in forward, soaking myself with her scent. I felt like a dumbass as another tear fell from my eye, but I couldn't help it. I was really fucked up. Both emotionally, physically, and now, drunkenly. I wished I could curl up in the smell of her and drown happily... but knew I couldn't.

Though I knew it'd kill me, there had to be one other thing I could do... something I did anytime I'd tuck her in at night. I made sure Jasper was sleeping, then bent down and pressed my lips to her right cheek, by her ear. Lingering. Exhaling along her skin. Then I gave her a slight hug, but as I stood up, I felt her arms come around my neck, in a sleeping reaction. I froze again, suddenly nervous he was going to wake up and freak out on both of us. That was the last thing I needed. I shouldn't even bee in here.

I found her warm hands behind my neck and pried them loose, but as I pulled, she grasped a hold of my shirt, mumbling something incoherent in her sleep. I tried to pull her fingers from me, but she gripped tighter. I found her forearm, and holding my breath, I pulled it away. I heard a snap and a slight cylinder echo, as something pinched my neck, and I noticed Jasper moving over to his side, facing us. I ducked down on her side of the bed, cursing under my breath. After a few seconds of silence, I looked back up, swallowing hard.

They were asleep. _Sound _asleep.

With that note, I exhaled, moving the hair from her eyes. "Night, Bells." Then I jogged out of the room, lightly closing the door.

I didn't know what that sound was, but at the moment, I didn't care.

I was feeling woozy from all the alcohol and cigarettes and drama I've been consumed with since I woke up this morning and decided to come on this fucking trip. I closed my door behind me, locking it.

Then I fell backward on my bed, praying for lightning to come and strike me dead, and put me out of my misery.

* * *

**BellaPOV  
**

When I woke up, the sun was shining bright through my A-frame window, directly into my eyes.

I moaned, catching a glance at the alarm clock before rolling over and throwing the covers of my eyes.

I _so _wasn't ready to wake up yet. Not at nine in the morning... not on winter break.

I felt the bed moving and pulled the covers off my head, completely aware of the static electricity floating from my head to the pillow now.

Jasper was wide awake, sitting cross legged, dressed in his new outfit, dangling a chain on his fingers.

After taking a few seconds and focusing my eyes, I recognized it and my heart stopped.

I shot up in the bed, causing him to jump a little. "Where did you get that?" I asked panting.

He shrugged, looking confused, "it was in the bed. Isn't it yours?"

I suddenly felt a massive panic attack come on. I covered my forehead, breathing heavily.

"Um..." I stumbled, feeling a wave of heat crash over my face, "J-Jasper, can you, um, get me some ice water? I'm not feeling so well."

He jolted out of the bed, dropping the necklace on the covers. "Sure sweetie. I'll be right back."

"Thanks."

I waited until he left for the full panic to wash over me. I crawled over to the necklace, grasping it in my fingers.

_Where is it?!_ I panicked, my heart about to explode from my throat.

I scrounged around, lifting the blankets, digging in the bed. After a few moments of shear panic, I found it.

I gasped, my hand clasping over my mouth.

Did Jasper find this? Was he reading my journal?

Is it mine?

Or is it...

I lost my breath.

FLASH! _Edward sneaking into my bedroom through the window, and crawling over into my bed._ FLASH!_ "Edward!" I shouted, my hand covering my face. "What are you doing here?" _FLASH!_ He climbed under the covers, scooting his warm body to mine as he pulled me in his arms_. FLASH! _"I was worried about you tonight... I know it's been rough. I had to come over here and check on you." _FLASH! _I nuzzled my face into his chest, sniffling against his shirt. "Thank you." _FLASH! _Edward letting me cry on his chest for hours, rubbing my back and cradling my head. _FLASH! _"Bella, look at me," he whispered, as he pulled my face up to his_. FLASH! _"I brought you something... I want you to have it. Will you open your hands for me?" _FLASH!_ I nodded, opening my hands, feeling something cold fall into it. I lifted my hands in the dim lights of the room, examining it in shock and awe. "What is it?" _FLASH! "_Well," he whispered back, "it's called a Gemini ring. I had it made for us, by this artist in Italy... Patrick Maltoki. He's a friend of Esme's... Do you know what it means?"_ FLASH!_ I shook my head as he caressed my face, wiping the tears from under my lashes. _FLASH! _"Well, according to astrology, it's noted as 'The Twins'. So... when things happen that we don't understand... like last week... I want you to know that you're never alone, Bella. You don't have to go through this pain by yourself... See? I have one too. Because your pain is my pain." _FLASH_! Edward showing me how to place the chain through the delicate, platinum ring. Then he instructed me to put it around his neck, while he put mine around his_. FLASH! _"I'll never take this off, Bella... You're with me, always_." FLASH!

The tears began to flow as I trembled, studying the unique puzzled ring in between my fingers. Then my breathing hitched as I climbed off the bed, searching for my journal. I found it on the nightstand, beneath my book. I couldn't remember even coming up here last night... I last remembered dozing off in the lounge chair...

I yanked the book open, pulling it to where I last wrote. And there mine was, still on the chain, twisted around the spiral binding and floating as a bookmark.

So this must be his... which means he never took it off... after all these years.

_He kept his word._

"Oh my God!" I moaned, covering my mouth and dropping the notebook.

This just changed everything. Again.

And I didn't know what to do, or what direction we were headed in.

Or why I was still angry.

Or why I couldn't lower my heartbeat...

Or why all I wanted to do was go in there and rip his head off, and hug him at the same time...

* * *

__

----AUTHOR'S NOTES----

****

So there we go, Chapter 03! Keep the reviews and compliments/suggestions/positive feedback coming in! They are always welcome. And I see all you shy readers, please feel free to come out and say hello, review, let me know what you're wanting to see from this story, what you liked best... all your feedback really DOES help me, and gets me to write faster because I realize people are enjoying it as much as I am!! So DON'T BE SCARED!! Review and say hello!! I won't bite you... but I may send Edward Cullen [or Rob] to do it for me!! *wink wink*

Stay tuned, because you'll never know what to expect with this story!

ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS/RESPONSES WILL BE POSTED HERE AT THE BOTTOM:

-- GO SEE THE RINGS IN MY PROFILE, ITS UNDER PUZZLE! I SEARCHED 3 HOURS TO FIND THE PERFECT SET!! --

-- Jazz and Bella were friends for 3 years so fard during college, but have now just started getting serious. I wanted to clear that up!! --

This didn't feel right. Something was about to come out that shouldn't, I could feel it.


	4. Crossed Out

**PLEASE REVIEW! ****Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit] for being a true friend and an awesome beta. ;) YOU'RE THE BEST! ;)

**Chapter Four: Things get more confusing. The day is filled with swimming pools, confidence, getting even,  
break ups, confessions, truth or dare... and a lot of shocking events when the game goes sour!**

**Note - check profile for suits. I know you wanna see 'em!**

**

* * *

****Note: Though I understand that some people aren't as accepting of Jasper/Bella or Edward/Alice or basically anyone **_**but **_**the typical canon pairings, I appreciate whole-heartedly the fact that you all are willing to **_**understand **_**the characters as I am using them in this story, and are being flexible with me. I, too, am a fan of all the canon pairings, one-hundred-and-ten percent, but it's nice to be able to mix things up and look at things from an entirely different perspective. So I'm beyond words ecstatic with the fact that you guys are willing to join me on this journey, stick it out, and see where it goes...  
and TRUST ME, Edward and Bella are my ****main**** priority. XOXO  
-----**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**All the things left undiscovered, leave me empty and left to wonder...  
I need you? ...Yeah I need you.  
'Cause I can't fake, and I can't hate, but it's my heart that's about to break.  
You're all I need, I'm on my knees, watch me bleed, would you listen please?  
I give in, I breathe out, I want you, there's no doubt.  
I freak out, I'm left out, without you, I'm without.  
I'm crossed out, I'm kicked out, I cry out, I reach out...  
don't walk away...  
Don't walk away.  
Ashlee Simpson, "Undiscovered"**_

* * *

__**Chapter Four: Crossed Out  
**

**BellaPOV**

After my mini mid-life crisis, I realized I had about fifteen seconds to compose my face, before my adorable _new _love interest came back into the bedroom that we currently are sharing together, thanks to me. I shoved all the stuff underneath the bed and crawled back in the sheets, my hand on my head. Jasper came inside with a glass of water and some Tylenol, a concerned expression on his face. He sat beside my legs, reaching over to rub my forehead.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?"

I nodded, taking a sip of the ice water, "I'm sorry; I just got dizzy all of a sudden."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

After swallowing down the pills and guzzling half a glass of water, I laid back onto the bed. "I could use a hug..." I said with a sly smile.

He returned it, pulling me in his arms as he laid over me. "You had me worried for a second, Bells."

"I know," I said, twisting his hair in my fingers and taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay..." he kissed my cheek tenderly, "I'm glad you're better."

"Me too."

"Do you know what could have triggered that?" he asked, moving the hair from my face.

"Um..." I blew out a gust of wind, shrugging my shoulders, "I'm... not really certain. Most likely my dream, but I couldn't remember it now."

"Ahh," he smiled, laying his head down on my stomach. I ran my fingers through his hair, cursing myself inside.

Jasper is such a good guy. He's has a _wonderful _heart. He treats me with the absolute respect, much more than I deserve if he knew my internal thoughts. He's sensitive, he's caring... he's an extremely good kisser. One of the best, actually. I shouldn't let one little thing like a _necklace _shatter my newfound-feelings for Jasper. I mean, that was so long ago, when Edward made that promise. And regardless of whether or not he kept _his _word, _I_ didn't keep mine. I removed it, and used it as a bookmark in my journal. Sure, it's still private and I still look at it everyday. But the idea of wearing something that he gave me, with so much meaning behind it, especially now that we're not together... it became too much for me, emotionally. I had to remove it.

So after a few more minutes of relaxing my body and clearing my thoughts, I decided it was time to start my day. With Jasper.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, as I was rubbing his shoulders and the back of his neck.

"Yes ma'am."

I giggled, shaking my head as I pushed him and myself up, "first of all, don't ever do that again. Secondly, what are you in the mood for?"

He pulled me onto his lap, nuzzling his warm face in my neck, "Mmmm... food-wise, or Bella-wise?"

I blushed pink, biting my bottom lip as I wrapped my hands around his neck. "Both?"

He sighed, shaking his head, "well, for food, anything you would like to make is fine. I can't really cook at all, but you know that. ...But I'll sure enjoy the hell out of it if you did."

I beamed, unable to stop my stupid smiling face, "and... _Bella_-wise?"

He twisted his body and laid me back on the bed, leaning over me. "If we're talking about _that_, we may be in here awhile longer."

He leaned down, suckling my neck and drawing my skin between his lips. I sighed, wrapping my arms securely around him, pulling him down to me. I'd be lying if I wasn't extremely turned on at the moment, with the way his hot, wet tongue dragged along my neck to my collar bone. I began to arch my back, gripping his hair, pushing his face harder against me. He took that as a sign, nibbling rougher on my neck, causing a slight moan to involuntarily escape from my throat. I threw my leg loosely over his right one as he centered it between my legs, and he shoved his body harder against me, which induced more reactions from me.

He definitely had a talent for this, I decided right now. I struggled to bring my other leg underneath him, so I could hook them around his waist. He seemed to like my head a certain way, and he held it there with his right hand so he could have better access. Then his left hand worked a trail down my hips, diving under my tank top so he could grip my waist with more skin to skin contact. I hummed, allowing him to vandalize my neck with more than a willing smile.

As he continued to work his magic, I thought to myself about what he would do if I decided to undress him. I reached down, gripping the back of his t-shirt with my fingers, pulling it up. I felt as his stomach came in contact with my pelvic bone and belly, and wanted to soak into the warmth from his body heat. I yanked him harder against me, tugging his shirt up to his shoulders. He refused to remove his mouth from my neck, and thus forth, I couldn't take it any higher than his shoulders.

I whined, torn in the inner battle he put us both in.

We both liked our spots, we both wanted more.

Such a shame when you want to have your cake and eat it too.

He switched his hands, bringing his left hand between my neck and hair to hold it, while his right hand slid over my breasts and down between our bodies. He began to undo my pants, causing my body to react with more aggression. I sucked in my stomach as hard as I could, so he could do it easier. The quicker he could do that, the more free I'd feel.

And the more desired skin contact we'd have.

"Knock knock!" Jacob shouted, not bothering to really knock before opening the door.

Jasper and I froze in mid-grinding position, and Jacob froze in the doorway. "Oh fuck," he said with a snicker.

I dropped my hands to my sides as Jasper released my pants and rolled over me, exhaling loud.

I knew my body had a crimson heat flush thanks to the way he had me turned on. I sat up on my elbows, pulling my knees up a bit as I eyed Jacob down.

"Sorry," he continued to chuckle, throwing his hands in the air in a halt position, "I didn't mean to cock block you, dude."

Jasper chuckled as he readjusted his body, and I noticed that he, too, was just as turned on as I was. His eyes were filled with lust, and by the look of his jeans, so was his body. I bit the inside of my lip as I noticed this, and then snapped my head back in Jake's direction, suddenly realizing we weren't alone.

"Um," Jacob said, crooked smile on his face as he rubbed his eyes fervently, "Rose sent me to come get you guys. She said pool party in twenty, and lunch is waiting for your help, Bells."

I sat up, my body feeling tight with anticipation of Jasper, "I'll, uh, be right there."

"Oooh, _nice _shiner, Bella," Jacob chuckled again as he walked over and patted Jasper on the leg.

I furrowed my brows in confusion.

Jasper threw his head back laughing.

"Well," Jacob sighed, turning back toward the hall, "I see my job here is done."

"Hey, you might want to see if Edward is awake," I suggested nonchalantly. "I'm sure the jerk is hungry too."

He laughed with a nod, closing the door behind him.

Jasper and I turned to each other and smiled as we climbed off the bed. We got ready in a comfortable silence. I threw on my suit, which was a black one-piece, with cut outs around the stomach. The top was held together with a U-string that wrapped around my neck. I talked myself into purchasing the sexier piece last year, when Rose and I went to Jamaica for spring break. I wanted to broaden my horizons, and boy did it work! I threw on some denim shorts over it, brushed my teeth, and my hair. I left it down, flowing to one side of my shoulders with small curls. _Good enough! _

Then I chased Jasper out of the bathroom, hopping on his back when we met the staircase. He carried me down the steps, and we entered the kitchen with idiotic, smutty smiles on our faces.

"Oh hey, lovebirds," Jacob said, as he sat on the counter with an unpeeled banana and some oranges in his lap. He wore _DC Truth's_ board shorts, with a white design along the legs. Rosalie stood in the kitchen, wearing an adorable light blue two-piece. The top was blue, with blue and white dotted lace below the breast area, and the bottoms matched. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, and she seemed in her element as she sliced ham and turkey. She loved to cook just as much as I did.

Alice was leaning against the far counter, looking a little dazed, with large hoop earrings and a bright yellow bikini. It had white and yellow looking waves along the top and bottom, and the top was almost strapless, but had a thin string from the middle of her breasts, that wrapped around her neck. Emmett was beside her, drinking a _Coors Light_, wearing Quicksilver camo-green board shorts. He was rubbing Alice's back, but eyeing down Rosalie like she was the plague.

Tanya was sitting in the living room in a chair, her legs curled up to her chest. I knew she wasn't naked, most likely wearing a bikini, but the way she was sitting, made her _appear _to be naked.

I shuddered, covering my eyes in Jasper's back. Jasper had on Quicksilver blue and white plaid board shorts, and they looked _great _with his tan body and twisted hair, I must add.

_Someone _was missing, and I couldn't help but notice as I looked around to see all their bubbly faces, mine included... well, okay, Alice didn't really look her normal-chipper self, but she didn't seem confused either. Just dazed, like she was having a day dream.

"Hey Rose," Jacob husked at her as he peeled the tip of the banana and stuck it on his crotch with a wink, "got something for you."

She slapped his chest playfully with a sly smile, before turning back to her slicing. This confused me, seeing as this would be normally the time where she would slug him hard. _But a giggled shy pat?_ Something was fishy...

I put my hand on my hips, giving Jake a suspicious glance. He winked at me, a smile rising on his face. Then his phone rang, and he dropped the banana and charged for the living room, almost slapping Tanya on her face with his hand as he ran. I laughed at that, unable to avoid it.

Tanya got up and slowly walked into the kitchen, her hands covering her chest. She had on a white bikini, which made me jealous as it shined perfectly with her bronzed brazillion tan. Her long blonde hair had big curls on the ends of it. She _was _pretty; I had to admit that much. ...But still a whore.

"Okay boys," Rosalie shouted, clapping her hands as she walked over to Jasper and Emmett, "out!" She pushed them by their chests, both of them laughing.

"Come on," she continued as they both gave her unwilling, sexy, sly smiles, "I mean it misters. Go!"

"Why can't we stay?" Emmett asked, giving her his popular pout.

"Because, us girls -- _all_ of us, right _Bella_?--" she hissed at me, glancing between myself and skank blonde whore over there, "are going to cook and... be girls. And we _don't _want an audience."

"Dancing?" Jacob asked, tilting his phone away from his mouth as he walked over to the other guys. "If you guys are dancing in that, I'm staying."

She squeezed his cheek, baffling me more. "No you're not, Jakey-poo. Now skedaddle! All of ya!"

Emmett pouted, Jasper nodded, and Jacob growled at her.

Then Emmett suggested pool, and they all agreed, walking over to the pool table, which conveniently still had view of the kitchen.

I grabbed Rosalie's arm, pulling her hard against me as I walked over to the fridge, "what has gotten into you, and why in the _hell _do you want Tanya in here?"

She gripped my shoulders with her evil smile. "Bella, Bella, my younger, tiny, beautiful but _clueless _sister. Haven't I taught you anything?"

I gave her a confused expression, my hands on my hips, my nostrils flaring.

She snickered, shaking me lightly, "keep your friends close so they help you make the right but sinfully _wrong _decisions, and your enemies _closer_, so they don't suck your boyfriend's dick behind your back."

I shook my head, my frustration growing, "she is not the enemy," I hissed at her. "She's spawn. The freakin' _devil _herself, in the _flesh_!"

"I know! But, I think it'll help out in the long run. If you can get her to confess things to you, Bella, then you can learn what the hell her plans are. Why she did the things she did, and what she's got on that moronic ex-boyfriend of yours that keeps having him attached to her ass... Then, once she trusts you, you flip the tables on her, and smack her in her face with it all!"

"Rose, I want to smack her in the face now. _Without _all that extra effort."

"Besides," she continued with a wink, handing me a cutting knife and turning me to face the turkey, instead of Tanya, where I began to aim, "I realize you like Jasper, which is about time, I might add... But that doesn't mean you can't show Edward what he's been missing. Nothing proves you've moved on better than little peep shows and jealousy. Trust me, I know."

I couldn't help but smirk as I continued to try to glare at her, "I can't do that."

"It's really quite simple," she said, turning on some girly music, "you've got all the equipment, you look sexy, you know how to dance, and you have an impressive hickey on your neck for starters... Not to mention an ass that you can bounce quarters off of. With a little help from me, Edward will be crying in his sleep for all the years lost, and you, my dear, will be frolicking in the sheets with dream boy, blonde surfer, sexy rock star over there."

I smiled, shaking my head. It did sound tempting, I thought.

And I really did want to throw it in Edward's face, showing him what he was missing when he chose her over me... And this is the best opportunity to do it.

"Okay," I said, rounding my shoulders and looking my best, "I'll do it."

She jumped up and down, clapping her hands, "yes! Yes, yes, yes!" she hugged me. "Okay, the first thing you need is... mood music. We've got to shake our hips."

I nodded, "shake hips, got it."

"Oh but Bella," she said, turning back to me, "be nice to Tanya." Then she winked at me.

I winked back at her, before clearing my throat.

Alice came over behind me, startling me a bit. "Can I help with something?"

I smiled at her, pushing the head of lettuce toward her, "sure. That'd be great."

She returned my smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"Ask Tanya to help," Rosalie muttered under her breath, nudging her head toward the slut.

"H-Hey Tanya," I said, clearing my throat, "do you want to help us?"

She looked taken back from my casual tone, but nodded slowly, "sure..."

"Great. Grab those tomatoes behind you."

She nodded in confusion, turning to help.

Rosalie winked at me again, and I couldn't help but be giddy.

_Being evil was fun._

"Now what we need," Rose said as she leaned over the kitchen sink to turn the radio up louder, "is the music... and I know the perfect thing that will give Bella the point she is trying to make. Let's dance, girls!"

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I woke up to the loud thumping of the surround sound speakers that were connected in the corners of every room, wired to the main radio in the kitchen. I jumped out of the bed, my hand clutching my chest. The bass was so strong, it knocked the picture off the wall, startling me from my subconscious.

_"This time I need a soldier, a really bad ass soldier, that knows how to take, take care of me, I'm so damn glad that's over. It's time I need a soldier, I'm sick of toy soldiers... Need a boy that knows how to take, take care of me, I'm so damn glad that's over! ...I don't want no more... toy soldiers."_

I groaned, throwing myself back into the sheets with the hangover and dry mouth. Fucking Britney Spears.

It must be Rosalie's fucking CD. She's the only one who enjoyed putting me through this much torture.

I rolled off the bed, punching air with my fists in my frustration, before walking into the bathroom. I took a piss, brushed my teeth, and splashed water on my face. I was surprised I looked half decent, considering that my lungs were burning from all the cigarettes I inhaled last night, and the alcohol I consumed in my half-assed, plastered beyond wits, let's-seduce-my-best-friend-before-she-tells-me-she's-in-love-with-me composure.

I growled, throwing on some loose jeans over my white boxers, not bothering with a shirt or shoes. _Who the fuck cares? _My hair was still pretty much in the spot I left it in last night, which most girls seemed to like, so I didn't see the point in making any extra effort toward it.

Besides, I really didn't _need _any more attention from girls... The last time I was _this _confused about girls, I was in second grade, and couldn't figure out where the hell breasts came from, or why my hot teacher, Miss Menan, slapped me when I tried to grab them.

Now, I've hooked up, in some way, shape, or form, with three out of the four girls in this fucking cabin.

_Real slick, Edward._

I jogged down the stairs, noticing Emmett playing pool with fuck-face and surfer boy. _Traitor_.

Britney's_ "Womanizer"_ was blasting in the kitchen, and as I got closer, I realized my heart suddenly stopped. This was even worse than the boys. They were _dancing _together. All of them. My hook-up girl, my best friend-slash hook up, and my ex girlfriend... and my ex's sexy-but-scary sister. I rubbed my face, making sure this wasn't a hallucination.

Because Bella would never get that close to Tanya. Ever. _Ever_.

But it wasn't... It was fucking happening.

Emmett threw his arm over my shoulders, jerking me toward him, "where the hell ya been, bro? Want a beer?"

I nodded, taking the beer from his hands as I continued to stare at the sexy girls clad in bikinis, making some kind of orgy routine between the counters.

"What the fuck is going on? Are you guys all on crack, and forgot to fucking share or some shit?"

He smirked, "I don't know man, but it's fun to watch."

"And why the hell are you with them?"

"Dude, they're not that bad..." he said with a shrug. "Besides, one, we have to hang with them. May as well get used to it. And secondly, Jasper's pretty fucking cool. And Jacob's chill, after a while. So just, relax," he pushed me backward, toward the steps. "And," he whispered to me, "if you keep Jasper in your sights and on your good side and Jacob off your ass, then you can get closer to _Bella_."

I raised my left eyebrow at him, "what the fuck are you suggesting, Emmett?"

He smirked, "this is the perfect opportunity to show Bella that you're still hot. Still wanted. Show her what she's missing, bro! It'd be fun."

"You _are _high, aren't you?"

"Not yet," he replied with a wink. "Now go get your trunks on, bro. Pool party in five!"

I took a deep breath before dragging my body up the stairs. _Make Bella jealous? _What the fuck was going on, are we in third grade again?

I pulled out my favorite pair of _Rusty's _board shorts. They were convenientlyBella's favorite colors on me... intricate designs with deep red, black, white, and grey. I threw them on carelessly, trying to get that girl out of my head.

But as I thought about it, it might be fun to just... be _cool _to Bella. See where it goes. After all, I couldn't deny to myself that I wanted to flirt with her, at least...

_Hmm..._

As I walked down the stairs, I made a deal with myself: I wouldn't try to make her jealous, _per _se. I'd just be myself, flirt with all the girls as I normally would, and see where that went. But I needed to face Alice sooner or later, and make sure we were okay... and my hopes weren't that high for the moment.

I heard Tanya screaming and water splashing. I ran into the kitchen, grabbing a few sandwiches that were on a big platter and shoving them in my mouth. Then I grabbed a few beers out of the fridge, enough for all the guys and myself, because I'm nice, and went to join them. Bella and Rosalie were dancing along the pool edge, seductively to Chingy and Luda's _Holidae Inn_. Tanya and Emmett were in the pool, him throwing her around. Alice was sitting on the edge of the shallow end with her feet in the water, and Jasper was sitting beside her.

_They looked kind of cute_, I thought to myself, before shaking my head fervently. What the hell was wrong with me!?

Once I stepped closer, and really caught a glimpse of Bella, I froze stiff. _She grew up.._. Like... _up_, up! _Damn_. Standing there with her hair flowing around her back, in that sexy-as-fuck-on-legs one-piece bathing suit that probably had a guarantee of cum-sprouting success on it. _Return if doesn't work._

I smirked, shaking my head. _This was going to be fucking interesting_, to say the least.

I handed all the guys a beer, receiving a smile from Emmett, a nod from Jasper as he lifted his bottle to clink mine, and a fucking confused expression from Jacob. I just smirked at him and walked by, heading toward Rosalie and Bella.

They had their legs between each others', swiveling their hips and giggling as their long hair cascaded around. I wanted to snatch the both of them up and take them to my room, demanding them to dance above me like that while I put my head on the ground at their feet, enjoying the view all too much.

I took a deep breath to regain some confidence, and walked over to them. They turned to face me as _Ciara's "Go Girl"_ came on. I smiled at them, throwing my arms over both their shoulders. I expected them to both walk away and leave me standing there like an idiot; but instead, they glanced at each other briefly, and then wrapped their arms around my waist.

I held my breath for a second, preparing for Rosalie to swipe out some kind of pocket knife and cut me, or for Bella to knee me in the balls.

Instead, I found Bella's hand lightly rubbing my back, throwing me off guard. _Was she being nice too? Was she honest when she said she wanted to move on from me?_

Bella turned to me with a smile as she blinked her lashes, grabbing my _Coors Light_ from my hands. She took a sip of it, keeping her eyes locked on me.

Ohhh, she was _flirting_.

I smiled, pulling it from her lips, "did I say you could have that?"

She licked her mouth as she continued to smolder me with her eye contact, "no."

"That's right."

She stepped closer, as Rosalie pulled away, running toward Jacob, "well, what would you like me to have then?"

My breath hitched, and I was confused as fuck by this, but I couldn't help but smirk. "What would _I_ like you to _have_?" I repeated.

"Yeah," she bit her lip.

"Uh..."

"Bella!" Rose shouted, and I couldn't help but want to go punch her for interrupting us, "come here! We're going to get Jacob and throw him in the pool."

"I'll see ya," she said seductively, as she slid her hand down my back and over my ass cheek. I nodded, standing my guard.

I noticed Jasper was distracted as he spoke to Alice, and didn't catch any of that. _Thank fucking God._

Bella and Rosalie fought against Jacob, pushing him toward the deep end. Right before he went, he threw his phone toward a lounge chair and grabbed Rosalie by her hand, jerking her with him. They flew in together, and it looked like her top went up, but I couldn't really see anything. Damn it.

Bella laughed, throwing her head back.

_E-40's "Go Hard _or_ Go Home"_ came on the radio, lightening the mood. No more girlie music.

_Pay back,_ I thought to myself.

I licked my lips and walked over to Bella, sneaking up behind her. I took my right arm and stuck it between her legs, my right hand on her stomach, as my left hand held her side, and flipped her sideways into the deep end. She screamed as she went in, and I laughed to myself, before glancing over at Tanya, who was staring at me with disgust as she blocked Emmett's attempts to dunk her.

I winked at her just in time to see Bella climbing up the ladder, heading in my direction. I took off running, almost slipping on the wet floor, and flipped in a somersault into the water before she could catch me.

"That's not fair!" she shouted, hands on her hips. Those _sexy _hips.

I smirked at her before sinking under again. When I got back up, I noticed Jasper flipping her over, to where her legs were wrapped around his head and her hands were on the ground. They looked almost as if they were doing a sixty-nine, and though it made me nauseous, it was funny to watch her struggle as he threw himself backward into the water, still holding onto her.

Jacob picked up Rosalie and threw her to Emmett like a basketball. She screamed, and clung to Emmett's body with her legs and arms, begging him not to throw her back. He chuckled, throwing her back anyway. She screamed again as the water overtook her, and Jacob jumped on her teasingly. They both fought around for a few seconds under the water, before they came up gasping for air.

Jasper launched Bella in my direction, and she hit the top of my head on accident with her hand.

"I'm sorry!" she shouted in gasps, trying to not drown herself in the deep end.

I chuckled at her, pulling her back to my chest and wrapping my arms around her.

She gasped at our contact, as the electricity took over us. "Please don't," she whispered, gripping my fingers tighter.

"What? You think I'm going to throw you?"

She nodded, gripping me tighter.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because I know you," she snapped at me.

I laughed, gripping her hips. Then I threw her back toward Jasper, but really high. She screamed as she hit him and they both went over.

_One Republic's "All I Need"_ was on next. I noticed Tanya sitting on the steps, playing with a squish football as she bobbed her head to the music. Jacob went over to ask her something, and she seemed startled when he snuck up beside her. Rosalie and Emmett were fighting in the middle of the pool. He had her flipped upside down in the water, but she had his head in a leg lock jerking him face first in the water. Bella and Jasper were making out along the wall, her wrapped up in his arms. _Gross_.

Then there was Alice. Sitting on the side of the pool still, glancing at her feet as they swayed in the water. I felt heartbreak swarm over me as I stared her. Then, before I realized it, I was swimming over to her. She glanced up as the water rippled around her feet, and when our sad eyes connected, she gave me a slight smile. But it wasn't a full one.

That hurt me more.

_"Do you know what your fate is? And are you trying to shake it? You're doing your best dance, your best look... You're praying that you make it. Well bless my soul, you're a lonely soul, cause you won't let go of anything you hold..." _were the lyrics coming in echoes in my mind. I paused for a second, twitching my lips. It seemed to get quieter, as the rest of their screams and shouting zoned out of my ears. It was just my heavy breathing, her sad eyes, and the song.

I swam closer to her, keeping my eyes locked as I frowned understandingly at her. I ran my hands along her legs, testing to see if she was going to kick me or run away. She didn't, just relaxed a bit. I took that as my cue, pulling myself between her legs to wrap my arms around her waist, to bury my face into her diaphragm, with a big hug. After a few seconds, her arms wound around me and she placed her chin to my head. I swallowed hard, listening to her shallow breathing. She was still upset, it was clear.

"I miss you," I whispered into her skin, breathing her familiar lilac scent.

She nodded, running her fingers through my hair as she kissed the top of my head. "I know you do," she choked out quietly.

I closed my eyes, placing my cheek to her heart as I lifted myself higher out of the water to hug her tighter. "I still love you," I replied, my hands rubbing her back.

She chuckled slightly as she sniffled, "I love you too."

I didn't know where to go from here. I was still so confused. Alice was my best friend. My most favorite person in this whole world. My sunshine, my irreplaceable partner. But we crossed the line last night... and now I had _other _feelings for her. Confused, other feelings for her. I wasn't in love with her, I knew that. Not like a _couple_, anyway... But, the horny, confused -- make that _really _confused -- guy in me, who found myself attracted to her now, wanted to pull her into the water with me and kiss her until we _both _felt better.

But I knew that wouldn't help anything.

But I still wanted to do it.

But she was in love with me, her best friend.

So I couldn't put that on her.

But again, still wanted to.

_Fuck me._

"Edward?" I heard a voice behind me. I opened my eyes and turned my face so my other cheek would press on Alice's skin, and found Tanya. "Can I talk with you for a second?"

I nodded, not letting go of Alice, "what's up, Tan?"

She shook her head, swallowing hard, "alone?"

I squeezed Alice's back, and she squeezed in return. "I'll be right back," I whispered as I caught a glance of her eyes.

They were watery, but not overflowing. Broken, but confused as well. "Okay," she replied, giving me a smile, which caused her eyes to sparkle a bit.

I returned it before releasing her, and walking with Tanya up the steps of the shallow end and out of the pool. I followed her to a corner of the room, and she placed her hands on her hips.

"What's going on with you, Edward?"

I ran my fingers through my bronzed, wet hair, looking at her confused, "how do you mean?"

"Well," she said as she glanced at my feet, "I overheard Emmett talking to Alice this morning in the kitchen..."

My stomach tightened_. Oh shit._

"...she said she told you to end things with me, and that you agreed with her."

I exhaled, thanking heaven it wasn't the _other _thing. "Um," I said as she snapped her head back to me, with my reaction. "...I did."

She took a step back, confused, "why would you say that, Edward?"

"Because..." I looked up at the ceiling, before returning back to her deep blue eyes, "...I think it's time."

"Why?"

"Well... it's not like you were my girlfriend or anything, so I guess... we need to make a clear and clean break."

"So you thought sneaking behind my back and hooking up with Alice was the best way to do that?" she scoffed.

My stomach flipped and my breathing stopped. Oh shit. _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. _

"T-Tanya, I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's so obvious, Edward. I don't know why I didn't see it before... She's in love with you, Edward. She has been for a long time... and by the looks of you, and the way you held onto her in that pool ...I'd say you were in love with her too."

Now my heart plummeted to my ass. "I'm not, Tanya."

"How do you know?"

I shrugged, "I just do."

"Edward, I saw your face. You didn't want to let her _go_. And she didn't want to let go of you either... you guys looked _pained_. Like you were holding a secret or something."

"Tanya, _stop_. Alice and I are not fucking, okay? I can promise you that."

"I don't believe you."

That pissed me off. Nothing did more than calling me a liar. "Well, since you and I are cut off, I don't really care _what _you believe."

She backed up, shaking her head, "who _are _you anymore? I thought Bella was going to be my problem, but you haven't really gone around her... plus she has her tongue down that guy's throat... and now I see _Alice _with this puppy dog face on, and you _clinging _to her for dear life... and then all these random moments of the two of you flashed before my eyes, making me realize how much of a dumbass I am, and ... I mean, _look _at her, Edward!"

She shoved her hands between us, in Alice's direction. Slowly, I took a peek there, to find Alice glancing at the both of us, swallowing hard and gripping the edge of the pool with her fingers.

"She's totally in love with you. God it's so clear!"

"Ta-"

"And you're in love with her too, Edward."

"I. Am. Not."

"Yes you are... It may not be the way that you think I mean, like the _couple _way, but it's definitely some way. I can feel the connection between you two."

I became flabbergasted between my anger, avoiding her eyes and glancing around the room. I didn't even know how to respond, I was too pissed off.

"What happened between you two?"

"Nothing," I gritted through my teeth.

"You're lying."

I glared at her, stepping closer to close the gap between us, "Tanya. It's over."

She stared at my eyes, her hands on her hips. "Fine."

"Fine."

"But..." she said softly, "I don't know how I am going to be able to leave... with _that _outside."

I glanced over to where her head tilted, to find a snow and ice mixture coming down heavily, reminding me that we were on _winter _break. It was weird to be in this heated cabin, in trunks around a pool, with snow outside.

"I'll call you a cab tomorrow."

"Whatever," she scoffed, walking away and ending the conversation.

As she stormed out of the room, I walked over and sat next to Alice, placing my feet back in the water. "It's snowing."

She looked up, watching the snow fall from the windows on the ceiling, "it's beautiful."

"Yeah. It is."

After a few staggering minutes of silence between us, a thought came to my mind.

"Hey," I whispered, nudging her arm with mine, "do you remember that song, _'Wonderwall'_, by Ryan Adams?"

She nodded, glancing back into the pool and avoiding my gaze.

"Do you remember when I used to play that for you with my guitar, when we were younger?"

She nodded again, still refusing my eyes.

"I was just thinking about that..."

She shrugged, shaking her head as she glanced at her legs, "yeah, I thought about that this morning, too..."

"Oh yeah?" my smile rang, as I suddenly felt at ease. "That's funny."

"Yeah," she smirked, "you learned that just for me."

"Yes."

"Funny how things change when we grow older," she mumbled.

I inhaled, rubbing my hand up her spine and to her neck, giving her a slight massage, "yeah, it is."

I found Jacob dripping in a lounge chair, talking on his phone again. Emmett was in the deep end, with Rosalie sitting on the edge and pushing him back with her feet. I'm sure he was enjoying that view, the perv. And then Jasper had Bella with her back against his chest, swimming around in a circle with their arms locked. Her hair was resting on her right shoulder, making her other side naked. And then, I noticed the hickey, and my hand fell from Alice's back as I stiffened.

Alice's head rose from the pool as she glanced over to where I was looking. Then she chuckled, "oh. Yeah. I saw that this morning."

I swallowed, feeling uneasy. I don't know _why _that should bother me. It's not like I expected her to be a virgin, still. And they _were _sharing a room. Plus, I was one to talk. I had been with a few girls myself. But seeing it... like the actual _proof_... it unhinged me.

"Think they're fucking?" she asked indifferently.

I shrugged, unable to remove my eyes as he kissed her ear.

"...I think they are."

This felt weird, talking to Alice about this, since last night... but any other night, this would be typical conversation, so I tried to shrug it off. "How's that?"

"Well," she exhaled, rubbing her legs, "she has a _glow _about her. The one that happens to girls... you know... when they..." she glanced at me, noticing my wide eyes. "...have release," she finished.

I couldn't help but scowl, "that's fucking gross."

She giggled slightly, shaking her head, "it's not gross. They're a couple, _Edward_. That's what _couples _do."

"It's fucking _gross_," I repeated sarcastically. "I don't want to think about that shit."

She bounced up, slowly returning to her normal self, which eased the tension between us more, "so... what are you most disgusted about? His dick in her mouth, or his tongue lining up he-"'

"Alice please!" I groaned, leaning away from her, "spare me."

"I bet he's a fantastic... _kisser_."

I growled at her, pushing her lightly, "shut it. Please."

"No really!" she continued, because she knew it'd drive me crazy, "he's got those nice long lips, that full bottom one... I bet it could just drag along her f-"

I clapped my hand over her mouth, my stomach continuing to flip.

I waited until she stopped trying to speak against my palm before removing it.

"Not to mention those twisty locks she could tug on when his head was between her le-"

I covered her mouth again, this time with more force. "So help me God woman. I will throw you in this damn pool and drown your ass!"

She laughed, throwing her head back. That was the Alice I loved.

"Edward, you wouldn't dare."

"You're right, but still. I don't want to hear about Bella's sex life."

"Want me to get it out of her? Find out all the gritty details and report back to you, like we used to do?"

I shook my head fervently, "fuck no."

"I know you want to know, Edward. I mean, sure, you probably don't want to think about it... but you can't deny the curiosity."

"Okay," I confessed, my voice heavy in annoyance and defeat, "sure, I'd like to know if she's been with a lot of guys... but I'm more curious on being sure that _I _rank on top of that list."

She snickered silently to herself, not responding.

"What?" I sneered at her.

"Well," she cleared her throat as we both glanced at Jasper and Bella again, to find her now facing him, kissing him again. Sick shit. "In order for _you _to be on that list, Edward, you two would have had to have sex," she finished.

I shoved her slightly, "that's not cool, man."

"I'm just saying!" she giggled, hands in the air, "I don't think oral sex, dry humping, make out sessions, and anything else ya'll did can possibly compare to the... main event."

"Alice," I groaned, throwing my head back in disgust, "I hate you so much right now."

"No you don't... In fact," she thought to herself, "...I know just what we can do to find out... Casually."

I shot her the worst look possible.

"...I want to know too," she finished. "I'm curious."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

It was so nice to be able to hang out with Bella in the pool. At first, I was a little worried about coming here, being around her ex-boyfriend so much. I knew how big of an impact he had on her life, so not only was I a bit intimidated by that, but I also concerned with the fact that I might blow up and kill him.

But surprisingly, it's not been too bad. And what makes it worse, is he has this personality that's so cocky... he reminds me of my friends back home. If I didn't have to hate him so much, I may even get along with him. So when he brought me my beer, I was cool and cheered him. And I also played with Bella in the pool, throwing her to him to find out his reaction. He just threw her back... he almost seemed unphased by this... all the way until I caught him and his friend Alice looking at us while we were in the pool. He had this look of disgust the entire time, and I knew what that expression meant: Jealousy.

So... just to be on the safe side, I made sure to show him that I was with her now. You know, to make sure he knew that fact. And Bella didn't seem to mind one bit about the hickey I accidently gave her. At first, that wasn't my intention. But as I started... and tasted how sweet her flesh was, I sort of lost control.

This was three years in the making. Three years of being her friend, of listening to each other's problems, of getting to truly _know _Bella... and of falling in love with her while I was just the friend. So when she finally confessed to me last night that she wanted to be with me, it took everything I had not to strip her down and make love to her. I wanted to show her how badly I truly wanted her, and how much I cared for her... but I knew it wasn't right. Not yet. So we spent the night making out instead... in the room, by the pool last night... It was nice, too. The best way to complete our night.

Then this morning, she egged that on herself, and of course I was going to oblige. She kept pushing me and pushing me, demanding more attention to herself. I really thought we were going to complete the relationship this morning, make it physically official, until Jacob decided to saunter in at the perfect moment. I was so pissed off at him. If he hadn't been such a good friend to me, I think I would have tackled him through that door. But still, I can wait... I'm pretty used to waiting by now.

But Bella seems to be just as interested in the next step as I was. Again, this was three years in the making... I'm sure she knew we didn't have to wait a few months, or years even, to have sex. We already knew everything about each other.

When we went swimming, I noticed Alice, Edward's best friend, by the pool. He wasn't out there yet, so I went and said hello to her, asked her if she was all right. She just seemed so sad, somehow. It felt like I needed to go over there to check on her. Me. Even though I didn't know her... there was some sort of draw there. She smiled at me as I took my seat, the first smile I'd seen from her face that day.

"I'm sorry, ma'am," I said nervously, "I just wanted to come over here and see if you were all right... You seem sort of sad."

She shrugged, "I had a long night, but I'm all right." She held out her hand for me to shake. "I'm Alice Brandon."

"Jasper Hale. Pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure's all mine," she beamed, her small hand fitting into mine delicately.

We talked for a few more minutes, about the cabin, and how she met Edward, and I, Bella. I noticed little beautiful things about her, like the way her hair got lighter on the tips, or how her deep eyes sparkled when she mentioned her mother. She had a beautiful smile, really contagious. She seemed to cheer up as we talked. And as I was about to leave, she stopped me by my wrist.

"Hey, Jasper?"

I squatted back to her with a smile, "yes?"

"I know this may sound weird, and I don't know why I'm telling you... but you sort of remind me of this guy in a dream I had a few years back."

"How's that?" I smirked at her.

"Well..." she thought for a second, looking too adorable, "I'm not sure, really. I just remember sitting in like a restaurant, alone at this table in a black gown, and you -- or a guy that looked just like you -- came up to me, wearing some sort of uniform I think, I can't really remember... and I said, 'what took you so long?' with this happy smile on my face, like I had been waiting on you for a long while, but was so happy to finally see you that it didn't matter anymore... I don't know what it means, really... and I feel really stupid for even telling you, being that we don't know each other... but I just can't seem to shake that thought every time I see you. It makes me smile to think about."

I returned her smile, "...that made my day, I think. Even if it wasn't _me _in the dream. Alice, thank you for telling me that."

"Sure."

As I took my shower, I thought about her briefly. Not like that, of course. But, the other day when we were at Bella's house, and Jacob and I were sitting in my car after Emmett announced the arrangements, we had been talking about Rosalie and Alice. I told him that she looked familiar, like I knew her from somewhere or something. Of course, this couldn't be possible, since we had different groups of people. I'm sure I just saw her in an old high school picture of Bella's or something, but it peaked my interest as I thought about it. _How odd._

After everyone had their showers, we ate dinner that Rosalie cooked. Spaghetti, which Emmett announced was his favorite. He'd hum and _mmm _at every other bite, causing us all to laugh. It was about nine at night now, and we were all lounging in the den, with the television off, the fireplace lit, and drinking wine.

Bella was wearing my grey sweatshirt and plaid shorts that fit her perfectly. She sat in front of me on the foot seat, between my legs. I had on khaki cargo shorts and a black shirt. Rosalie had on a pink robe over blue shorts and a pink tank top. Emmett sat next to her on the love seat, and wore no shirt, showing off his broad frame and abs, and denim jeans. Tanya had on jeans and a simple t-shirt, lying on her stomach by the fireplace. Jacob was _Jacob_, so he had on his normal black jeans, black t-shirt. Edward wore a button-down black shirt and faded dark jeans. His hair sort of amused me, and I thought once about asking him how he did it... but I'm sure he wondered about my hair as well, and that'd be an awkward conversation for two men to have, so I scratched that thought. He sat on a black leather chase, next to Alice, with his arm over her shoulders, with her hair curly and adorable, with blue and white, thin-pinstriped pajama pants on, white bunny slippers, and a white tank top. She had her legs thrown over Edward's; I could tell they had a really close connection. They seemed inseparable.

So, why are we all here, in one room, you ask? Alice suggested the inevitable game of Truth or Dare. She said it was time we all cleared the air, and got to know each other better. And because we're all in this cabin together, drinking, we figured, _hell, why not?_

"Okay!" Rosalie said, clearing her throat and leaning up. "How this is going to work is, you can choose truth, and get asked a question, or choose dare, and do whatever it is that you're told. You also get one 'out' each. This means one 'out' on a question you refuse to answer, or one 'out' on a dare you refuse to do. You can also give your 'out' away, but remember, you can't get it back... so let's say, Emmett gives me his 'dare-out,' and then he gets dared to do something extremely vulgar, he doesn't get that 'out' back. Whoever gets called on gets to go next, choosing the person of their choice. Deal?"

We all nodded in unison.

"Alice," Rosalie continued, "since this little game was your idea, do you want to be first?"

"Sure," she beamed, glancing at Edward. He shook his head quickly, giving her a serious look.

She sighed and growled a little, slapping him on his leg, "Tanya, truth or dare?"

Tanya popped her head up from the floor. "Uh... Truth."

Alice snickered, "okay... Besides Edward, who here do you find the most attractive, and why?"

Tanya sighed, sitting up to an Indian-style position. "You," she said, pointing to Jacob. He smirked, giving her a slight wink. "...Because he's gorgeous, and Edward hates him. Go figure."

Edward cocked a smile, shaking his head.

"Okay," Tanya continued, browsing around. Then she pointed to Jacob again. "Truth or dare."

"The name's Jake. And dare."

"I dare you..." she pondered to herself for a few seconds, her finger on her chin. Then she smiled and glared at Edward, "...to go French kiss _Bella_."

Jacob licked his lips and climbed off the couch, as everyone started talking and Bella threw her hands on her face.

"May I?" he asked me, and I noticed Edward rolling his eyes at the irony. I nodded. I knew their past, so I didn't care.

"Sorry Bells," Jacob continued with a smile. Then he leaned over and kissed her, slow at first, then sliding his tongue between her lips. I tensed a bit, but tried not to think too much of it. I noticed Edward was tense too, but he didn't cover his face. He just eyed Bella down, like he could somehow zap her with his eyes. After about fifteen seconds, he pulled away, placing a chaste kiss on her lips, and then returning to his seat. Bella leaned back between my legs, taking a sip of her red wine. I smiled at him, to make sure he knew it didn't bother me. He returned it, with a gracious expression of relief.

"Alright, my turn..." Jacob began, "uh..._Rosalie_, truth or dare."

She bit her lip, thinking to herself for a moment. "Truth, only because I know you'll make me use my veto if I say dare first."

Jacob chuckled, "you're God-damned right I would. Okay... truth..." a broad smile crossed his lips as he licked them. "Who has given you the best head, _ever_?"

Her cheeks started to turn pink, but she held her composure. "Um..." she bit her lip, eyeing him down with an awkward expression. He returned it, tilting his head and smiling wider. Emmett was bouncing his eyes between the both of them, and then burst out laughing, throwing his head back. Rosalie blushed at that moment, her cheeks lighting with red.

"You _can _use your veto," Jacob egged her on, cockily.

"No that's fine," she said, "I can say it... You did."

He leaned back, fucking smug. "Awesome. Your turn."

Bella shot up between my legs, almost spilling her drink on herself. "Whoa, when did that happen?!"

Rosalie shrugged, leaning back into the couch and curling her knees up to her chest, revealing the upper part of her legs. Sexy, I must admit.

"Rosalie!" Bella shouted, slamming her hands on her lap, "when!?"

"None of your business," Rosalie responded, "it isn't your turn to ask the question."

"Jacob?" Bella prodded.

He laughed, shaking his head, "I'm with Rose. It isn't your turn."

Bella growled, throwing herself back between my legs. "You guys suck. Rose, go."

Rosalie scanned the room, before settling her sights to her right, at Emmett. "Emmybear, truth or dare?"

He beamed, "truth, the first time around."

She cleared her throat, turning to face him better, "have you ever had any ... sexual thoughts about me?"

He settled back in his seat, getting comfortable as he threw his arm over the top of the couch and his leg on the coffee table. "Yeah, like every five seconds."

"Really?" she asked, smiling again.

"Yeah..."

She bit her lip again, before slowly returning to her own seat. "Cool. Your turn."

He glanced around the room with a large smile, before settling his eyes on Bella. "Bella, truth or dare."

Bella sighed, brushing her fingers through her hair, "truth."

"Chicken."

"Shut up!"

"Okay, okay... Have you and Edward ever had sex?"

There was suddenly an awkward silence in the room, and my breathing stopped. Bella glanced at Edward, and his eyes returned back to hers. They were silent for a devastatingly quiet moment, which seemed like an eternity. Then she cleared her throat and relaxed her position. "No," she replied shortly, "we have _not_."

Edward's cold eyes didn't remove from hers, and it caused even _me _to feel uncomfortable.

She fidgeted under his stare, before removing her face from it. "My turn, I guess... _Edward_? Truth or _dare_?"

"Truth," he hissed, still eyeing her down with that cold glance.

Bella was cocky when she threw her question at him. "When was the first time you and _Tanya _had sex?"

_Oh God. _Now the stare grew worse from his pupils. I watched him tense as he eyed her down, as if he was battling with himself to rise up off that couch and attack us all.

Then, he spoke. "Four years ago."

Bella scoffed, shaking her head, "be more specific, will you? _When_, four years ago?"

He sat up, exhaling loudly. "four weeks and three days after you told me to _go fuck _myself."

Now the tension in the room was on _all _of us. Everyone was silent and stiff, staring at each other, and then back at the two of them.

Bella and his stares were growing profusely, as if they were trying to burn each other's eyes out. I reached up to touch Bella's shoulders to try to relieve some attention, but then Edward's eyes bounced up to mine, and I stopped, settling back in my seat. I didn't want to get into a fight with him. This was their mess. I was here for Bella, but only when she'd ask me to be. I wasn't going to try to prove how strong I was unless it was necessary.

He scraped his eyes back down to Bella, his lips growing tighter. "_Bella_, truth or dare?"

She didn't move. "Truth."

"Have you ever done anything sexually with Jacob?"

She tensed, her back straightening a bit. "Edward, that's no-"

He cocked his head at her, "you can use your veto, Bella. If you feel you _must_."

She glared at him, "yes. I have."

"While we were together, perhaps?

"...Yes."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Then shut the fuck up."

I shot up out of my seat at the same time her and Emmett did, but as everyone began to shout for us all to settle down, Bella put her hand on my chest, holding me back.

"It's okay!" she shouted above us all, causing us to be quiet, "we're all adults here. _He _can say what he wants. I'm not going to let _him _cause a fight."

She sat down, eyeing him back.

I could see her hands trembling, but she hid it well, placing them behind her back to pretend to scratch it. "Okay, my turn again... Alice, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you..." she started, continuing to ignore Edward's heavy gaze, "to tell Tanya what you really think of her. In detail."

Alice scoffed, sitting up straight. Edward tensed again, removing his glance from Bella to the back of Alice's head.

"Okay, Tanya," she said, causing Tanya to tense now. Everyone began to chuckle as she continued her rant, including myself. "I think you are a whore. I think you're stupid. You don't realize how to handle a good man, and you certainly don't know how to _keep _one. You have no common sense. In fact, the only thing you have going for you are your looks, and according to Edward, you don't really have that either. The only reason I think he ever kept you around was for entertainment value, for all of us. I know Emmett gets a kick out of watching you act so foolish, don't you Emmett?"

Emmett smirked at her, shaking his head as he smiled.

"And," Alice continued, "I also want you to know that he says you give really _awful _head. Sorry."

Emmett and Jacob burst out laughing, and I couldn't help myself. After a few seconds, we were all laughing, besides Tanya, who crossed her arms over her chest and tried to sink into the carpet.

"Alright, Jasper, Truth or Dare?"

I glanced at Alice, finding her large eyes soothing. It amazed me, how she could be so hostile toward the blonde, but so inviting toward me. I felt like I knew her for years. "Truth," I replied with a smile.

"Why isn't anyone doing dares?" Emmett whined.

"We'll have time for that later, Em. Okay Jasper... What's the best thing you love about Bella?"

Bella turned to face me, and I smiled at her, feeling as if I was sending her comfort and warmth with my eyes. "I can only pick one thing?"

"Yes. For now. It doesn't have to be the _best_, but just something you find irresistible about her."

I locked my eyes with Bella's, drowning in her smile, "I'd have to say... the way she bites her bottom lip when she's nervous, or thinking, or blushing, or anticipating something... excited, even." I watched as the pink filled her cheeks, and without noticing, she bit her lip. We all laughed, and I caught a slight glance of Edward laughing to himself briefly.

"Your turn," Alice said, her voice cheery.

"Okay... Alice, back at you. Truth or d-"

She cut me off. "Truth this time."

"Alright," I chuckled, taking a sip of my wine. I decided to go with something simple, something we all can relate to. "Have you ever been in love, how many times, and which was the strongest?"

She lost her breath, her hand gasping over her neck. Edward closed his eyes, rubbing her back as he rested his head on the back of the chaste, avoiding the room suddenly. I caught the discomfort in her eyes, and I shifted in my seat, "I'm sorry, that was very rude of me, and I shouldn't have as-"

"Once," she replied with a large gust of wind. "Just once, and it's now... fleeting."

I nodded, curious of what she meant by that, but refusing to interrogate her in front of all these people. "Your turn again."

She nodded, thanking me with her eyes that I didn't press it. I winked at her.

"Um... Rosalie, truth or dare."

"Dare," she exhaled, picking her nails.

"I dare you to give Emmett a lap dance, right here on the couch."

Jacob burst out laughing, throwing his head back as he covered his face with his hands. He shook his head when he noticed we were all glancing at him, his face turning slightly red, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry... internal thought."

"Put on some music, Bella," Rose said, rising to her feet.

Bella hopped up, running over to the radio. "Anything in particular?"

Rosalie climbed up on the couch, dropping her pink robe to reveal her short blue-jean shorts and pink tank top. "No, a good dancer can move to anything," she replied, staring down at Emmett, who was sitting comfortably between her legs, with his head back on the seat, looking up at her.

"I got just the thing!" Bella shouted. A few seconds later, _Danity Kane's "Strip Tease"_ came on, causing us all to laugh as we watched her. She began to sway her hips in a slight circle, standing up as she locked her eyes with him. She lowered her body as she continued to circle around, her legs, then her crotch, then her stomach, then her breasts rubbing along his chest as she lowered into his lap. She ground against him a few times, and then raised herself back up to a standing position. She continued her seductive dance, throwing her head back and doing these sexy, curvy twists around.

He looked so smug, just sitting there so relaxed and soaking up her movements with his eyes. _He must go to a lot of strip clubs_, I thought to myself. _And have strippers as best friends._

Rosalie raised her right leg up to the back of the couch, giving him an even nicer peak as she ran her hands along her body, over her breasts, down her legs. Then she dropped down on him, running her hand between her legs then up over his lips. All of us guys threw our heads back in "OHH'S!!" as she did that, because it was fucking hot and we didn't expect it. Bella clasped her hands on her mouth, while Alice's eyes bugged out of her head. Tanya covered her face, and Edward just laughed, chanting them on. Then she moved along him again, pretty much dry banging him. He loved every minute of it. He held his hands up in a freeze motion, but licked his parted lips, sexing her back with his eyes. And she seemed to enjoy this, if I can say that.

After we were all pretty much hard, whether we wanted to be or not, Rosalie sat down, sticking a heart sucker between her lips. Emmett smirked, throwing a small pillow over his lap and adjusting his body. But he handled it like a pro, I must add. I pulled Bella in my lap to conceal mine, and I think she noticed, as her smile got a bit larger and her hands dropped down to mine. I ran my fingers through her hands, trying to hold back my smirk.

"Your turn," Alice said, pointing to Rosalie.

"Oh! Right!" Rosalie said, popping the sucker out of her mouth, creating a slight groan from Emmett. She giggled, situating her body, "Bella, truth or dare." She arched her brows at her when she said this, making me curious as to what their eyes were saying.

"...Dare."

She smiled wider, "I dare you... to give _Edward _a lap dance."

I think my heart stopped along with hers, and possibly Edward's. The two sisters continued their eye conversation for a few minutes, as Alice's face grew slightly blue. I titled my head at her, asking her if she was all right with my expression. She nodded, closing her eyes slowly. I relaxed.

"Fine," Bella said, causing me and Jacob to both sit up. Edward threw his hands over his face, talking in mumbles.

"Bella, you can use your veto," I suggested to her.

"No, it's fine. I can do it."

I couldn't control my breathing as she and Alice stood up. They switched places, Alice coming to sit on the foot stool in front of me.

Edward groaned, shaking his head. "You don't have to do this. You can use your veto," he practically begged, not removing his palms from his mouth or eyes.

"Are you afraid of me, Edward? Was that your problem all along?"

He dropped his hands to his lap, giving her a frustrated expression. "No."

"Good. Rosalie, pick the song."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Oh fuck.

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. This cannot be happening._

First she wants to bring up shit in the past. Then she doesn't like it when I throw it back at her. Then she asks if I'm afraid of her, like a dumbass. And now she wants to give me a heart attack and a boner? Is she trying to prove something?

I sighed, throwing my head back into the cushion. She gripped my legs, pulling me down lower on the chase. I popped open one eye, to notice her climbing up above me. She looked slightly determined, and almost smug. I smirked internally, enjoying the view. She wore tiny plaid shorts, and a grey sweatshirt. I wondered what was beneath it, licking my lips. Her hair was cascading over her shoulders, and it looked like she had been on the beach all day. Windblown. Sex hair. _Fuck me._

_Well_, the asshole on my right shoulder thought._ You may as well enjoy it, Edward. _Because_ she's with that preppy bitch over there on the seat_.

I opened my eyes as the music came blasting through the surround sound. "_No Diggity" by Blackstreet_. Go fucking figure.

I caught a glance at Jacob, to make sure he wasn't going to try anything. He wasn't looking, suddenly focused on something in the kitchen. Alice was looking down at her lap. Tanya was staring at me, along with everyone else.

As the drums kicked in, Bella started to move. She swayed her hips from side to side, standing over my stomach as she lowered herself to me. She bit her lip, looking at the back of the chair. Okay, so she was nervous. Hmm. I smirked at her, pretending to be cocky as I readjusted my body better, so I can look at her in the eye. Her ass continued to sway around, her hands running through her hair, or tucking it behind her ears. She remained nervous until the pre-chorus came on, then she slightly loosened up.

"_Baby you're a perfect ten, I want to get in, can I get down so I can... I like the way you work it, no diggity, I got to bag it up..." _the lyrics shouted as her eyes found mine. She bit her lip and moved more seductive, dropping her body to me. She leaned over and gripped my shoulders, her eyes zoning on mine as she lowered her body on my stomach. Her eyes were dark, heavy even, as she ground against my stomach. Then when she rose up again, she pulled that damn sweatshirt off, revealing a tight, blue tank top underneath. _Blue_, my favorite color on her. _God help me._

She turned around, facing toward everyone as her butt was to me. Then she lowered back down again, her ass inches from my face. I smiled at the view, watching it bounce around. She fell forward a bit, typical clumsy Bella coming out, but caught herself, gripping hold of my legs. That gave me an even _better _view. I had to restrain myself from leaning in and chewing on her. I bit the inside of my lips, holding myself back. Everyone was shouting for her, making slight noises, and teasing me, saying to hold on, don't lose it yet. _Dicks_. Even her fucking _boyfriend _was cheering her on. _What a weirdo. _I'd kill a motherfucker if this was _my _girlfriend, on top of her ex.

But since it was me, I was enjoying myself. And I'd kill any motherfucker who tried to stop it.

She turned back around, facing me again. I chewed my gum, giving her my best crooked smile, which she seemed to eat up. Then she shocked me. On "_curves the word, spins the verb, lovers it curbed, so freak whatcha heard_" came on, she ground in front of me, practically _straddling _my face. Then on "_you're blowing my mind, maybe in time, baby I can get you in my ride_."she was back on my dick, and basically _fucking _me, which didn't bother me one damn bit. She was such a tease, and I had no idea where this was all coming from. I mean, did she just pick all this up one day? Because this wasn't the Bella _I_ remembered... not that I hated it or anything. It was just shocking. I mean, she _really _got into it, surprising me and everyone else in the room as they shot out of the seats, screaming for her. "Go girl!" I blew out a wind of hot air I didn't even realize I was holding when she climbed back up, happy I was surviving this torture.

When the song finally came off, she hopped off the chair effortlessly, taking a sudden bow, her cheeks turning bright red. Great, now she wanted to blush, after she just pulled all that shit. I growled internally, dragging my ass back up to my original position. Now I was turned on, and watching her return to her boyfriend really didn't help the situation. Or my ego, for that matter.

Alice came back over, not meeting my eyes, handing me my wine glass she held for me. I sighed with a silent thank you as she nestled against me. I threw my arm over her shoulders, trying to look nonchalant, since everyone was staring at me and expecting me to freak out or something. Fuck that. She patted my leg, still not looking me. "Are you okay?" she whisered, taking a sip of her wine. I nodded.

"Emmett, truth or dare?"

"Truth, Bella. I don't trust you, not after that."

Bella smirked, "okay... how many girls have you had intercourse with?"

"Hookers don't count!" Alice shouted at him, causing us to laugh.

"Funny," Emmett snarked at her. "I don't know... Around..." he glanced at Rosalie briefly, "...Sixteen."

Bella's jaw dropped, and I rolled my eyes. I knew better than that shit. He knew a lot of girls, so if he wasn't banging them, he was definitely messing with them. But she said intercourse, so he got lucky.

"That's a lot," Bella whispered, her hand covering her mouth. Again, this confused me. One minute, she's seductive and dominant and confusing me, the second minute, she's back to being shy, bashful, innocent Bella.

Emmett shrugged, quickly changing the subject. "Edward, truth or dare."

"Truth."

"Awe, come on!"

"Screw you, Em," I chuckled. "I just got fucking sucked into a lap dance thanks to _Rosalie_. I'm not doing anything _you _dare me to do. You and Rose are a lot alike."

"Fine," he grumbled. "Truth. Okay... if you had the chance to bang Alice, no strings attached, would you do it?"

I closed my eyes, regretting the decision. Alice stiffened, her hand tightening on her knee. "I think... I'm going to use my veto on that one," I replied.

"Oh come on! That one was so easy!"

I shook my head, removing her strained fingers from her leg and pulling her cold hand between mine. "It's okay. I just don't want to say."

Tanya scoffed, shaking her head.

"What's _your _problem?" Alice sneered at her, unaware of Tanya and my conversation earlier.

"Edward broke up with me because of _you_, you dumb bitch," Tanya hissed at her, too fast for me to react. "And you think _I'm _the dumb one. God."

Alice shot up off the seat but I gripped her hips, yanking her into my lap. "Don't worry about it, it's fine, calm down!"

She dug her nails into my hand but I didn't release her, yanking her harder against me, but not meaning it the way it probably looked, or _felt_, in her case -- _thank you, Bella. _

Tanya rose to her feet, her hands on her hips, "oh, you didn't know? He _loves _you, Alice!"

I sneered at her as Bella cocked her head in Tanya's direction. Oh God, this just got worse.

I knew if I stood up to push Tanya out, I'd let go of Alice, and then there'd be a fight. I glanced at Emmett, but he just leaned back, watching the show erupt in front of him as he pulled Rosalie under his arm, so she could rest along side him. Bella crossed her arms uncomfortably, settling back into Jasper's lap. He wrapped his arms around her, but she didn't say anything, just gave me a hurtful glance. I furrowed my eyes in confusion, not liking her look.

I cleared my throat, changing the subject as I caressed Alice's hips, "it's my turn now. Since I used my veto. Jacob, truth or dare?"

Jacob snapped his head in my direction with a shrug. "Truth."

I pursed my lips, wondering whether or not to bring more drama into this night. "What is it about me that you dislike the most?"

Jacob sighed, tossing his cell phone onto the coffee table, "you really want to know?"

I gave him a nod.

"Okay... I hate the fact that you are so two-sided. There was the you that was in high school, the one that comes out every once in awhile... You were nicer, and the girls loved you because you showed respect to them. That's how Bella fell for you. But then, there's this other side of you, the cocky, arrogant, smug, asshole that comes out and then you think your shit don't stink and the fucking world should bow to their knees at your feet, kissing your shoes. Like we owe you something."

"You don't even know me," I replied calmly but heavily.

"I know you enough."

I shook my head, not wanting to fight with him. "Your turn."

"Tanya, truth or dare."

"Dare."

He smirked, "I dare you to tell Alice what you think of her. Let's get it out of the way, so there won't be so much tension between the two of you."

"Okay," she said, climbing to her knees to be eye level with Alice, "I don't like the fact that you used your little best-friend card to steal _my _man from under me. I think it's shady."

Bella coughed, standing up on her feet. Oh shit. "Are you fucking insane?!" she shouted at her. "Really, Tanya, are you?!"

Tanya glanced at her, as if asking her what she was talking about.

"_You _stole _my _boyfriend from under _me_! Remember?"

Tanya rose to her feet in front of her, and I let go of Alice, standing up too. Because I knew Bella would get to Tanya before Alice did.

"I did not!" Tanya yelled back. "You can't steal something that willingly walked away from you. Maybe if you knew how to keep him, he wouldn't have run to me!"

"Tanya, come on." I stood between them, trying to maintain my cool, pushing Tanya back as I gripped her shoulders.

She pushed me away from her, getting back in Bella's face. "If you wouldn't have been so goody-goody-two-shoes, Miss Priss, a girl who thinks she can keep a wonderful guy like Edward by giving an occasional sexual favor every now and then, you've got another thing coming. You need to live in the real world, with the rest of us! Oh, and _Jasper_, good luck with that, because you won't last long if she does the same thing to you. You'll get bored with her too."

"Tanya!" I shouted, as a hand flew past me.

Bella slapped her hard on her left cheek, causing her to sway to the side. Emmett caught her and refused to let her go back after Bella, who ran in front of Tanya anyway. I gripped Bella by her waist, holding her back as she started to shout, thrusting her index finger in Tanya's face.

"Don't you ever, _ever _talk to _me _about being a good woman, you fucking slut! I _was _a good woman! I _loved _Edward, with _all _my fucking heart, and in a moment of weakness, _you _came in with your blonde hair and ripped _everything _out of my hands! Everything that took me _two _years to fucking build!"

Her hands were trembling along with the rest of her frame, and I knew she was getting herself worked up. "I put so much trust in _him_, so much that it _killed _me when he cheated on me! And now-"

"Bella, come on," I tried to cut her off, but she wouldn't let me.

"And, on top of that, I don't give a flying _fuck _if you got him drunk or not! The point was, it _happened_! He had his tongue shoved down your throat, in my Dad's house, in the bathroom beside _my _bedroom! He broke my heart so fast, and all you want to do is continue to throw that in my face! How in the hell can you possibly call yourself a good woman?!"

"Bella, it was a long time ago!" I shouted, pulling her back away. She squeezed out of my grip and twisted around, pushing me hard against my chest. The music around us cut off as my foot hit the cord and unplugged it from the wall. "Shut up, Edward!" she had tears fumbling in her eyes but she refused to back down. "Just shut up! You have no _idea _what you did to me! What _that _did to me! Why did you do it? _Huh_?!"

I held my breath as she continued to push me, all the way into the kitchen, to where my back was against the island. I gripped her wrists, yanking them down to her sides and pinning them there.

"TELL ME!" she yelled.

I closed my eyes, my body overwhelmed with nerves and heat. "Bella," I whispered.

"Don't you say my name!" she snapped, trying to jerk her wrists out of my firm hands. "Just tell me!"

"Okay," I replied sternly, locking my eyes with hers. "Okay. I'll tell you. But you need to calm down so I can talk. All right?"

She fumed through her nose, but remained quiet, glaring up at me.

"All right... I made a mistake."

She started to speak but I cut her off, refusing her. "I was young, and we were in high school, Bella. I became beyond swept away in the emotions and feelings between us, between the ones that _I_ held for you... Bella, I knew that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life when I was only seventeen years old. _Seventeen_, Bella. I had so many people whispering in my ear, saying that we were too young, that we wouldn't make it if we buckled down now, that it would end badly... and I tried my hardest to ignore them and live my life... but one night...I got drunk, and I made a mistake."

"Yeah, I'll say! Why would you _do _that, Edward? Why couldn't you just _talk _to me about it?"

"Because a month before this, I found you kissing Jacob in your bedroom. And regardless of if you said he kissed you and you didn't return it, it still happened. But I forgave you, even though it still haunted me. And... Because I was intoxicated, and so _angry _about it... I just..." my voice trailed off, as I tried to apologize to her with my eyes.

She just stared at me, her lips parted.

"...You broke my _heart_, Bella. I didn't like seeing you with Jake. It made me second-guess every single thing that happened with us. I thought about all the times he stayed over at your house, all the time you talked to him on the phone... and Tanya, she was being so nice to me... She said that she understood how I was feeling, because her and her boyfriend had been going through something similar. And I felt... _relief_. Because heartbreak had been so foreign with me, so unfamiliar, and I didn't want to be alone with it."

Tears were falling from both our eyes as we held onto each other. Her grip tense, my grip desperate.

"I realize that getting even didn't make it better. I'm sorry, Bella. I've apologized to you so many times; I can't even count them out. But you've _never _forgiven me."

"You were half naked, Edward! How long did you intend to kiss her, wearing just boxers, and her topless?!"

"I was drunk, Bella."

"So?! What if I wouldn't have caught you? Would you have screwed her, in my Dad's house, Edward?"

I shook my head, staring into her eyes.

"And how do you know?"

"Because I loved you," I replied, without thinking it through.

She shook her head, looking down to her feet as the tears dropped to the tile floor, "don't say that."

"I did."

"Edward Cullen doesn't love anyone, remember? Well, I guess, besides _Alice _now, I guess."

I took a deep breath, steadying my frame. My voice came out cracked, shaken, "I did, Bella. I _loved _you. You were that first girl I ever fell _in _love with. I was too afraid to tell you at the time, and I regret it every single day, but I can't do anything about the past, because it happened and we can't change it."

She stood silent for a few seconds, her drunken eyes red with tears as she spaced off toward my right arm. "I loved you too, Edward," she whispered brokenly, "...that's what makes it so hard. To always wonder what _could _have been, you know?"

I sighed, nodding.

"...At that party, Alice told me that she thought you planned on _proposing _to me," she scoffed, shaking her head. "How stupid."

I closed my eyes. "...I'm sorry, Bella."

"Yeah, well, so am I."

I lifted her chin with my index finger, forcing her to look at me. "I mean it."

She slowly pulled my grips on her face and hand away, "..so do I."

"Okay," I exhaled, ignoring the six sets of eyes on us, "...so can we just... try to be _friends _then?"

She shrugged, looking back to our feet.

"_Acquaintances_?" I suggested, a little bit of humor in my voice.

She chuckled lightly, sniffing and shaking her head, "sure... We can _try_."

"Thanks Bella."

"No promises though."

"No problem."

"But I'm with Jasper now, Edward. I want you to know that, before you start th-"

I cut her off, my hands in the air. "No judging. I'll take what I can get."

She nodded, wiping my face free from dried tears and hers. "And... I think that it's a good choice you ended things with Tanya," she whispered, nudging me slightly.

I chuckled, stepping away from my pinned position on the island. "I think so too," I whispered.

She giggled.

Jasper entered at that moment, placing his arm around Bella's shoulders. "You all right?" he asked, rubbing her back. She nodded, giving him a side hug. He extended his free hand toward me, and I shook it, accepting the peace offering. I still hated him, because I was jealous, but it felt good to not have so many enemies in the house.

"Well," Rosalie piped in, holding Emmett's hand as everyone followed her into the kitchen, "I think that's enough games for one day, don't you guys think?"

We laughed and agreed in unison. I wound my arm around Alice's waist, pulling her closer to me, to make sure she knew she wasn't alone. She rubbed my back, giving me a slight smile.

"And it's after one in the morning, so..." Rosalie glanced at Emmett, "I'm going to turn in."

He held his chest out, not releasing her hand, "I'll tuck you in."

She nodded, but as they walked away, Jacob held up his hands. "Wait, wait, wait. If you're... _tucking her in_, then let me know how long this tucking in _is_, since I'm sharing a room with her."

"I don't know," Rosalie chimed. "We're not having sex, if that's what you think."

"Of course not, Rose. Just wanted to make sure I didn't walk in at the wrong time. I'd hate to be the second cock-block of the day... Sorry again, Jazz."

I glanced over at Jasper, who wrapped his arms tightly around Bella and stuck his chin on her shoulder. "No problem. She's worth the wait."

I scoffed internally, but didn't make it evident.

"You can have the Champaign room," Bella suggested to him, "unless you're planning on getting some."

He shrugged.

"Then you can have my bed," Emmett suggested. "Sheets are clean, I promise. I share a room with Alice."

Alice nodded in complete agreement that Emmett wasn't getting any from her, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone began to part ways, and Bella gave me a slight smile, which I returned, before Jasper picked her up. "We have unfinished business to attend," he whispered in her ear, causing her to blush. He carried her up the steps, tickling her to where she laughed.

So then it was just Alice, me, and Tanya in the kitchen. Awkward.

"I'll call you that cab tomorrow, Tanya," I said again.

"Whatever, Edward. I'm going to sleep in the Champaign room. Let me know when it gets here."

"Okay."

After she left, it was just Alice and I, in the same kitchen that started the shift in our relationship.

I hated the emptiness, and decided to speak up, "Alice, I'm s-"

She cut me off, wrapping her arms around me in a friendly hug. "Please let me sleep with you. I don't want to be next to Jacob."

I laughed, winding my right arm around her, "are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it be," she asked casually, shrugging her shoulders, "we sleep together all the time."

"I know, but..." my voice trailed off, not knowing how to finish my sentence.

"If you don't want to, I'll understand," she said, but grabbing my hand and pulling me up the two flights of stairs and to my room. I laughed, following her, feeling a little uneasy, and a little... not how I should be feeling, to say the least.

"It's fine," I replied, shutting my bedroom door behind me.

She already had her pajamas on, so I just shrugged out of my shirt and jeans and climbed into the bed.

I turned off the light, and felt her snuggle up beside me, trying to get her body warm. I wrapped my arm underneath her, rubbing her arms.

"Quite an eventful day," she said, her head on my shoulder.

I scoffed, shaking my head from all the drama and dizziness, "tell me about it."

"Well, it all started when a girl and a boy h-"

I covered her mouth again, wincing when she bit it. I laughed, removing it and wiping her saliva off on my chest.

It was silent for about five minutes, and I almost drifted off to sleep.

Then she nuzzled against me, her leg over mine, "...and... you know... best friends _can _have sex. _Casually_... Casual friend sex... if you wanted."

"Oh _Alice_," I snickered, burying my head into her neck, "what am I going to _do _with you?"

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 04! Keep the reviews and compliments/suggestions/positive feedback coming in! They are always welcome. And I see all you shy readers, please feel free to come out and say hello, review, let me know what you're wanting to see from this story, what you liked best... all your feedback really DOES help me, and gets me to write faster because I realize people are enjoying it as much as I am!! So DON'T BE SCARED!! Review and say hello!! I won't bite you... but I may send Edward Cullen [or Rob] to do it for me!! *wink wink***

**-- No worries, to the ones that love the build up and angst. There's still a LOT to be revealed, and a lot of confused feelings to be mustered up. This is just one stepping stone on a big pond.**

**-- Oh, and I want to know what you guys want to see!! Please inform me! I know that you have asked me about why they broke up or whatnot, and that you want EB to make up and have sex and all that... but what ELSE do you want to see? Let me know, and if I use your suggestion, you'll receive credit and a shout out!!**

**-- A lot of people have mentioned that they have heard about this fic, as it was recommended through certain forums or websites or communities... please let me know where you are seeing the recommendation for the fic, that way I can go and thank them!! Just place it in the review!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXO**

**Stay tuned, because you'll never know what to expect with this story!**

**ANSWERS TO REVIEW QUESTIONS/RESPONSES WILL BE POSTED HERE AT THE BOTTOM:**


	5. Pain Stealer

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PLEASE REVIEW!

**Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit]. It makes me smile every time we get online and gossip about our men, these characters... and our SECRET CLOSET SHIP!!!  
Readers: Please look at the AN on the bottom when you're done! We're going on 300 reviews guys!! Keep it up!! Feedback is helpful!  
** THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO ALL MY WONDERFUL FRIENDS, THE READERS, WHO'VE RECC'D ME ON LION_LAMB LJ AND VARIOUS SITES, WHO HAVE PUT MY STORY ON THEIR PROFILE, WHO ARE SPREADING MY STORIES BY WORD OF MOUTH... You don't know how much you mean to me!! You give me smiles each and every day!! :D I wish I could give you all hugs!

**Chapter Five: Internal jealousy spawns between the girls and the boys as they bond with each other... Jasper and Edward  
gossip like girls about the past… Bella, Rose, and Alice have an eventful day... and things start to boil over between Edward and Bella.  
*** KEEP THE TISSUES BESIDE YOU AND READ SLOW! ***  
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_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**The worst is over now, and we can breathe again.  
I wanna hold you high and steal my pain away.  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight.  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...  
Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough.  
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you're gone away...  
Seether ft Amy Lee, "Broken"**_

* * *

__**Chapter Five: Pain Stealer  
**

**AlicePOV**

"Pssst, Alice!"

"...Alice...."

"Mmm.."

"ALICE BRANDON."

I pouted rolling over and nuzzling against the warm presence in my bed.

"Al_ice_..."

"What?" I groaned, inhaling the warm body's scent.

"Wake up! Rose and I are going to the store; we want you to come with us. We need your help."

I whined, smashing my face into the warm presence's shoulder.

Then I realized it was Edward next to me, and that I wasn't in my bed, I was in _his_. I snapped my head up in a groggy daze and looked behind me, to find Bella kneeling beside the bed, her left eyebrow raised high with a curious expression. She was dressed in a brown fitting t-shirt with a cute design on it, jeans, and brown snow boots. She was cheery. _Glowing _even.

"What time is it?" I asked, my voice scratchy.

"It's 8:30."

I dropped my head back onto the pillow as Edward's arm flopped over on my stomach, jerking me to him. I froze like a statue, my hands in the air. He was lying on his stomach with a pillow over his head, with his arm wrapped up around me. Bella giggled at my side, her hand clasped over her mouth so she wouldn't wake him up.

"You guys look like you had an interesting night," she whispered nonchalantly, taking a glance of his clothes on the floor.

"Yeah, I wish," I whispered back.

Edward flipped his head over and stuck his warm nose on my shoulder, mumbling something incoherent about McDonald's.

Bella and I giggled, our hands back on our mouth.

"What was that Edward?" she asked cutely.

"Mfdfefd dfa and afalfjle McDonalds please."

"What?!" we asked simultaneously, more giggles.

He growled at us as he slowly opened his green eyes. He blinked a few times, his gaze bouncing from Bella and me, his face unreadable.

We couldn't help but laugh more at him; he seemed so confused and clueless. He wiped his face, pulling his body up from the sheets.

"What's going on?" he asked hazily, his sleepy voice beyond sexy.

Bella giggled, pouting her lip at him with an aww_, poor baby_ expression, "Alice is going to go with Rosalie and I to get some groceries. We need to stock up. It's snowed a few inches, so we want to get some before it gets worse."

He nodded, continuing to blink in order to adjust his eyes, "what car will you be taking?"

"We have figured that out yet. We can't take Jasper's truck because we all won't fit in it."

"We can take Emmett's jeep," I suggested, shrugging, "I don't think he'd mind."

"He might," Edward replied, "but it's probably your best bet. Do you guys have a cell?"

"Mine's on my charger," Bella replied and I shook my head. I dropped mine in a mud puddle the night we had to carry Edward up to the apartment, and it still hasn't dried out completely.

He nodded, reaching over me and grabbing his phone off the night stand, "here Bella, take this. That way if you guys need to get a hold of us, you can."

She nodded, taking it with a smile. Edward leaned over and rubbed my hair in his hands, messing it up. I punched him in his side as I climbed out of the bed, suddenly freezing as the draft hit me. I ran into the bathroom, having to pee thanks to the cold air sinking in my skin. I cracked the door, since the bathroom was colder than the bedroom and I didn't want to turn into a statue on the toilet.

I could hear Edward moving in the bed, exhaling loud. "You look nice," he said to Bella, his voice still scratchy.

"Thank you. You look tired."

"I am," he replied. "I didn't get much sleep."

"Too much sex?"

"Ha, I wish that was my reason. No, actually all I could hear was Emmett and Rose down the hall. They weren't very quiet, to say the least."

"They didn't have sex, Edward."

"They most definitely did. Didn't you _hear _it?"

I walked into his bedroom, brushing my teeth.

Bella was sitting beside him over the covers, her hands crossed over her chest, and her legs extended and crossed as well. "Edward, that wasn't them," she snickered.

I dropped the toothbrush while Edward's head snapped up. "Was it you and Jasper then?"

She giggled, her face turning pink but shaking her head. I ran into the bathroom and spit, rinsing my toothbrush good from the carpet hairs. It was still silent when I got back in there, climbing over them and enjoying their body heat.

"You don't think..." his voice trailed off as he scratched his unruly hair.

Bella chuckled lightly and nodded, her hand over her mouth.

"Ewww," I replied, suddenly understanding what they were talking about. "Tanya and _Jacob_?"

We all laughed in disgust, wiping our faces.

"That's horrible, we're going to have to desensitize Jacob," Bella joked, receiving a slight glance from Edward. "Sorry," she stated.

He shook his head, climbing out of the bed. I watched Bella's lips part as she studied his shoulders and sexy tan back, and his lowered boxers. It bothered me that he caused her to have that reaction, only proving that she was still interested in him, to some sort of degree.

"Just be careful driving, girls. It might be slick."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bed with her, rubbing Edward's hair on her way out. He pushed her away, teasing.

I winked at him, which he returned. Then she continued to pull me into my room, and I plugged my nose as we entered, afraid of smelling... stuff.

It was empty.

And didn't smell _off_.

Rosalie stood next to my bed, with three outfits laying there. She was wearing blue jeans, big furry boots over them, and a white long sleeved shirt, followed by a vest that matched her grey boots. "Pick one."

I groaned and walked over there, examining their choices. They were all _my _clothes, so it's not like any of them were anything less than spectacular, seeing as I have wonderful taste. I just hated being up at morning. I may be a sunny person, but not when someone else wakes me up. That just drives me crazy.

I chose my dark denim jeans, my long, hip hugging grey shirt, and my grey headband. She gave me my matching grey boots, and they stayed in there while I changed.

"So what's the deal with you and Edward?" Rosalie teased, flopping down on my bed on her stomach, twisting her hair around her finger. Bella smiled, climbing beside her.

"Nothing."

"Didn't look like nothing," Bella said.

"Trust me, it's not like that."

"Yeah but it _could _be," Rosalie countered, "I mean, you guys are hot, you're close, you're BFFs... It could _totally _be like that."

I shook my head, pulling on my jeans, "he doesn't see me that way."

Bella's eyebrows rose as she slowly climbed to her knees on the mattress. "How so? He adores you; it's all over his eyes every time you walk into a room."

I twitched my lips, looking down to slip on my boots, "yeah well... I guess he adores _other _people more."

"Like who?" Rose scoffed, running her fingers through her straight locks. "Satan downstairs, fiddling her leg up and down as she glares at everyone?"

I giggled, shaking my head, "No-

Bella cut me off, sitting straighter, "Oh my God, Rose, Jake and Tanya totally hooked up last night!"

"Shut up!"

"I'm serious. They're avoiding each other like the plague, but it's so obvious! It wasn't any of us, so it had to be them."

"Oh my gosh," Rosalie groaned, her hand to her forehead, "poor Jacob."

We all giggled in unison, sounding like caddy high school girls. It _was _funny though.

"Am I like the only one not getting any?" I asked, my hands on my hips.

They looked at each other and smirked.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Aww, Alice," Bella said, coming to stand by me, "it's not like you're not beautiful or sexy or any of all those other things. Maybe you just need to work it at a different angle."

"Yeah, the more exposing angle," Rosalie contributed.

"How do you mean?"

Bella bit her lip in a slight shrug as Rosalie climbed over to me. "Well for starters," she said, slapping her hand on my shoulder, "Bella and I can see a connection with a certain bronze-haired best friend of yours... maybe you could work _that _angle."

I sighed, looking in the full length mirror as I fixed my hair with the cute hair band, "trust me. He wouldn't buy it."

"Maybe you just nee-"

I cut Bella off, shaking my head, "he'd only buy it if I were you, Bella... He seems to be fond of you again."

Bella's lips parted in shock, and she didn't respond.

"Edward is so not interested in Bella," Rose scoffed, handing me my jacket. "They just started to get along, like, eleven hours ago... _Acquaintances_, which I don't even think is a good idea personally."

I began to put on my makeup as the room fell silent.

Bella pushed her slightly, and then composed her face, putting on her mask and rounding her shoulders. "Well... I don't think he's interested in _me _like that ...Alice. And... Besides, you know... you won't have to worry about me... anyway. I mean, I have Jasper now. So I'd be... you know... cool with it."

I nodded, trying to ignore this conversation completely. The last thing I needed was more people to tell me how good Edward and I would be together... everyone but him.

As I was getting ready, I couldn't help but secretly compare Bella's features to my own. She had piercing, round, almost golden-brown eyes. I had okay looking, almost charcoal eyes. I had a skinnier top lip than her. She had fuller cheeks. Her hair was longer than mine, and most guys tend to go for that. She had more hips on her, but she was so skinny, it only classified as men loving curves. And her boobs were bigger.

Yeah I was pretty much screwed.

She smiled at me from the reflection when she caught me glancing at her. I returned it, looking down to my eyeliner pencil.

After I got ready, we all went downstairs and found Edward sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers, eating a bowl of fruit loops. He gave us a slight nod, told us where Emmett's keys were, and that he was sleeping and not to wake him up, and he'd tell him we took the car. I watched as we were putting on our coats, and saw that Bella and Edward were smiling at each other... these comfortable, silent, slight smiles... but their eyes were just glowing. The both of them. I frowned, turning to walk out of the room, and coming into contact with a large object.

I fell down, the large object tumbling with me, and over me.

"Oh my gosh!" Jasper said, crawling over to me to help me up. "Are you okay, Alice?"

I nodded, wiping off my pants as we both stood our feet, "I'm fine, are you okay?"

He nodded, keeping his hands on my arms as he made sure I didn't lose my balance, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know you were going to turn and walk."

"No, no, I'm sorry; I should have paid better attention."

We removed our hands from each other, smiling. _Jasper is cute_, I thought to myself, as I began to remember my dream. He had these _Abercrombie _looks to him... the slight, country, but modern rock star... preppy surfer boy. Brown and blonde twisted locks, always smooth and perfected, going a little past his eyes. Beautiful lips, an adorable smile... a sexy accent...

"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head down to me.

I nodded, snapping my eyes from his and out of my daydream, "thanks again, you know, for helping me up."

"Anytime."

We smiled at each other before parting ways. I watched as he gave Edward a nod before wrapping his arms around Bella, behind her back, and curling his head into her neck, giving her slight kisses as she squiggled in his grasp.

What _was it _about her? I mean, yes, okay, she's extremely beautiful and the all-American girl...

I growled to myself, realizing how pathetic I was. There was no reason to dislike her, now that Edward had forgiven her for what she did in the past. He moves on from their past, and as his supportive best friend, I move on too...

...If only he'd actually_ move on_.

"Hey Alice," he called for me, as we all stopped and turned at the doorframe.

"Yes?"

"Will you get me some Lay's chips and French onion dip? You know the kind I like..."

I nodded, sighing as I turned around. _Of course he wanted to stop me... to make sure I get him food._

"And some sweet pickles!" he shouted, as I gave him a thumbs out and walked out the door.

_Dear Lord... Please just strike me down and put me out of my misery. _

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Well that was definitely a different way to wake up. I had an obnoxious, typical-man dream about my best friend and my beautiful ex-girlfriend, only to find them both at my bed when I woke up.

I had to blink a few times and organize my thoughts, before I began to jump up and down like a child, like I won the lottery.

They were going _grocery _shopping. Way to kill a dream buzz.

As I ate my cereal, I noticed Bella peaking up at me from her eyelashes, almost bashful, as she zipped up her coat. I tilted my head, giving her my best, comforting, crooked smile. Her eyes lit up and she returned the expression, hers just as graceful as mine.

_Now my morning is complete_, I thought to myself as I winked at her. She was so beautiful. I wished I could have told her. She really did make me feel better, just by being around.

It was something to look forward to with this winter vacation. Maybe we _could _get along...

But I highly doubted it, if I were being honest with myself. We both have tempers, we're both stubborn.

We both have too much crap on the other.

It can't go well all the time.

Jasper walked by me, opening up the fridge. "What's going on?"

I shrugged, taking another bite, "not much. I drank all the milk, so I hope you don't want cereal."

"Nah, that's cool," he replied. "Fruit sounds good this morning."

I raised my eyebrow at him, smiling, "fruit? For breakfast?"

"Yeah."

"That doesn't sound fulfilling."

"You'd be surprised," he said, pulling out some strawberries, kiwi, and the leftover pineapple.

Jacob walked into the kitchen, and as he met my eyes, he suddenly looked down at his phone, playing with the keypad.

I smirked internally, not saying a word.

_So the fucker is avoiding me, since he banged my leftovers. _Typical Jacob.

I figured I'd let him wallow it out, give him something to feel like a jerk for... if he actually had a conscious, that is.

Jasper flipped on the television in the kitchen, and we all ate in silence, watching MSNBC.

"I love this channel," I commented, zoning in on it.

"So do I," Jasper replied.

I gave him a slight nod, refocusing my eyes back on it. They were talking about the war overseas, and how they're hoping to avoid it once the new president took his place here in a few weeks.

_Well, let's hope so, _I thought to myself with a big sigh.

"Let's hope so," Jasper said out loud.

_Awkward._

After breakfast, we all went our separate ways. I sat next to Tanya, trying to avoid the tension between us as I called her a cab. She seemed to never meet my gaze, facing the fireplace intently.

"Tanya, did you hear me?"

She shrugged, as if she didn't care what I had to say.

"I said, it might take awhile for them because of the storm passing through. They said to give it an hour or so."

"Whatever."

"You know, most people, when they get laid, find themselves happier the next day."

She glared at me, rolling her eyes, "well when you get dumped twenty-four hours before that, it doesn't really boost your ego either."

"Jacob not do it for you?" I joked, realizing my sarcasm.

"Edward," she hissed, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot on the coffee table, "just answer me one question. Is it Bella that you're interested in, or is it Alice? Because I seem to be losing track."

I shrugged, shaking my head, "it's no one, I guess. Maybe I want to be single for awhile."

"I highly doubt that. The longest you've ever gone without some type of date was like, what, three weeks?"

"Since when have you been keeping tabs on me, Tanya?"

"I just don't _get _you. You always seem to want what you can't have. With Bella, it was me. With me, it was someone else... then it was Alice. If she had a boyfriend, and you and I were dating, you seemed to always find excuses for the two of you to hang out... like you were jealous. And now Bella has a boyfriend... so is it Bella again?"

I took a deep breath. "It's not up to you to worry about me anymore Tanya. Last time I checked, I cut you loose. You're free to do whatever you want. No stress from me."

"We all know you'll be calling me by the end of this week, telling me that you don't want to be alone."

"Not this time."

"We'll see," she muttered.

"But Jacob might," I suggested sarcastically, receiving a glare from her.

I just smiled and got off the couch.

"Hey, do you want to play some pool?" Jasper asked, heading over toward the table.

"Sure," I said with a shrug, "why not?"

"You rack 'em."

"Alright," I shrugged. "What are we playing?"

"Eight ball. You have to call the shots."

"Okay," I said, lighting my cigarette as I squatted down to pull the balls out of the rack.

"Shit."

I raised my eyebrows, looking over the table at him, "what's up?"

"I forgot to tell Bella to pick me up some cigarettes."

"I didn't know you smoke," I replied, tossing him my pack of Camel's over the green felt table.

"Thanks."

After I racked the balls, I told him to not break yet, and I was going to get dressed. I threw on a simple fitting grey t-shirt, and some William Rast faded holy jeans. My hair pretty much had a mind of its own, so I let it do its thing.

A few minutes later, I came toppling back down the steps. I found Jasper got dressed too. He was wearing a green Abercrombie t-shirt and camouflage Abercrombie pants. He even had on matching shoes and sunglasses. He had style, I gave him that. But why was he dressing like he was going out?

He had an extra cigarette of mine behind his ear as he leaned over the table, breaking the balls. One went in. "Looks like I'm stripes," he said.

I smirked, walking around, "good because I like solids."

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm," I studied the balls, looking for the best shot. "I may be a little rusty," I replied, even though I knew I wasn't. I figured I may as well impress him.

He just nodded, motioning for me to go.

I noticed I had two balls sitting next to each other in the middle of the table, with both corner pockets open. I leaned over, lining the white ball in front of them.

"Which one you going for?" he asked. "You've got to call it, remember."

"Both," I smirked. He scoffed, shaking his head, "no way."

"Five bucks says I make it."

"Alright."

I ran the stick through my fingers a few times, making sure I had the alignment right. Then I shot, and both balls flew in their pockets. I smirked, rising up.

He slapped five bucks on the table. "Alright," he exhaled, walking around and examining his shots. He didn't really have jack shit open.

I ran into the kitchen, grabbing us both a beer. I handed it to him, but he raised his eyebrow. "It's nine in the morning."

I shrugged, continuing to hold it out to him.

"Alright," he said again, popping it open as he pointed his stick to the middle left pocket.

"So," I said as I watched him take a shot, bumping a few balls around, not making it in, "how did you and Bella meet?"

"College," he replied. "We had an English class together."

"Oh yeah? What's your major?"

"I majored in history. I find it fascinating."

"Cool," I said, as I called my next shot, "blue right pocket." I missed it by two.

"How did you meet Bella?"

I looked up at him, not expecting that question, "I moved to her school mid-freshman year. She was in my biology class, we were lab partners."

"What was she like in school?"

I smirked, shaking my head, "clumsy, mostly. I can't remember how many times I had to keep her from breaking every bone in her body. She was very clueless about the effect she had on people. She'd only recognize herself as 'normal'. She was a bit shy... at first. And very stubborn." I laughed as he knocked one in the middle pocket, "we had this love-hate relationship, because we were both stubborn."

He nodded, his smile wide, "I see that about you two still. Both stubborn."

"My mother, Esme, said if anyone would be able to put me in my place, it'd be Bella, because she could see it from both angles, so she'd know how to use my side against me."

"Makes sense."

"Yeah."

"Did you two date immediately after meeting?"

"Oh no," I shook my head fast, "her father Charlie was big on the _no dating until you're sixteen_ rule, and Bella had only been fifteen when we met. So we became friends first... and when that didn't work out, we had to sneak around."

He laughed, "I wish I could have met Charlie. Bella talks about him a lot."

"He was a good man."

"I can imagine."

We took about five minutes, both of us missing, in silence.

Then he spoke again, "...can I ask if the infidelity was the reason you two called it quits?"

I sighed, "for the most part, yeah. When trust is lost in a relationship, it's pretty much over. We broke up, and then, you know, we tried to get back together a few days later... but we couldn't put it in the past. We were seniors at that time, and college had been right around the corner, with all those decisions to be made... We had a lot on our shoulders. Things became complicated, for the both of us."

"...Bella never told me she cheated on you."

I looked up at him, furrowing my brows, "she doesn't... necessarily consider what she did _cheating_."

"How's that? Didn't she say that she had been with Jacob while you two were together? ...I was going to ask her about it, but wasn't for sure if she'd be upset with me for getting in her business."

"Well," I said, lighting another cigarette, "we were fifteen at the time. It had been a few months after we began to sneak around, you know, call it official. Her father and his best friend, Billy, got this idea in their heads that Jacob and Bella were meant to be together... you know, like women do with their daughters and their neighbors' sons?"

He laughed, his face amused.

"So she went out on a few casual dates with him, as per request of their parents, and one night, they took it to... second base, and a half."

"Ahh," he said, nodding as he took his shot, "that makes sense. And you two were together then, so..."

"Exactly."

"You took it pretty hard, I guess?"

"At first, I was mainly disappointed, but I got over it because I really _liked _Bella. She was the only girl I was ever crazy about. ...But, after her and Jacob continued to hang around each other, I started to notice things I didn't like... for instance, we'd be on a date, and he'd call, and she'd answer it and talk to him for a long time. Or she'd hang out with him instead of me on certain nights. Or if he was angry, she felt it was always her job to console him and cheer him up... She never let the guy figure things out for himself. And our senior year, I found them kissing in her bedroom... one of those, his hands in the back of her shirt, and the other tangled in her hair, faces smashed against each other... I was going to take her to a pre-grad party, and I showed up early because I wanted to surprise her with an outfit my mom bought her... and needless to say, _I_ was the one who ended up being surprised."

"Jake said you two got into it pretty bad."

"Yes," I chuckled, shaking my head, "I pretty much ran into there, fists blazing. We broke into a fight; her mother Renee called the cops. We ended up in jail even. His dad booked us! He was _that _pissed off at Jake for fighting. They tried to put us in a holding tank, but they had to keep breaking us apart, so we had to be placed in separate cells."

"And ever since, you two have hated each other?" he guessed.

"Pretty much. I think he's shady. I never know what his intentions are, and that makes me not trust the guy."

He nodded as he watched me call and take my shot, "you hold a large part of her history, Edward. It's quite intimidating."

I nodded, pulling my bottom lip in, "some of that history was pretty bad though... like all couples, we had our disagreements. Others were okay, when we had our off days, or when something had been bothering us... And then some were perfect... one of those days you wished you could stay in and float around forever. It was young love, you know? Deep, passionate, always changing, always increasing love. That type you always compare everyone else to. We were each other's firsts."

He pursed his lips, "she definitely does that."

"What?"

"Comparing. I've known her a little over three years now, and every date she's been on or any guy she was interested in, I'd hear her say stuff like, 'he's too intellectual for me' or, 'he plays baseball'... Just any random thing that reminded her of you, she didn't want to be around."

I smirked, leaning back against the wall, "girls are crazy."

"Yeah."

"So... how serious are you and Bella?" I asked, trying to sound carefree.

"I asked her to be my girlfriend the other night, _officially_, and she agreed. But I waited three years to work up the courage to ask her."

"Cool," I replied, though my stomach twisted around, "...and so it's serious then?"

He took his shot, leaving us three balls left. "Yeah, it's pretty serious."

I nodded, unable to respond. That made my stomach twist more.

"You still love her though, right?"

I looked up at him, our eyes focusing on each others, as we stayed silent for a few minutes.

"Most days," I then replied, trying to kid around, not wanting to tell her boyfriend what I wasn't sure I felt yet. "...I don't know..."

He nodded, returning my smile as he took the shot, and won the game by one.

Jacob never came out from his hiding spot. _Little fucking chicken shit._

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

We had our grocery cart halfway filled as we perused the cereal aisle, which we all knew was our favorite. Bella began throwing boxes in the cart, about five of them.

"Whoa, whoa," Alice giggled, running over and grabbing her hands, "how many kinds of cereal are you planning on getting?"

"Alice, we have eight -- well hopefully soon to be seven -- people in the house. Cereal is a must."

"Well, make sure you grab Golden Grahams for Edward, be-"

"It's his favorite."

"...Right."

Bella smiled as she tossed them in, "I _do _remember some things about him."

"So," I said, because I wanted to learn more about everyone's current situations, "Bella, how serious are you and Jazz now? Are you guys... you know..."

Bella's cheeks turned pink as we turned the corner, entering the drink and soup aisle. "It's good," she replied with a smile.

"Good?" Alice asked. "How good?"

"He's wonderful."

"Aww," I cooed, tossing some soups in the cart. "Like wonderful, adorable, or wonderful, sex-God?"

"Rose!"

"Come on Bells, you're killing me."

"He's..." her voice trailed off as she squatted to pick up some twelve-packs of soda from the bottom of the shelf, shoving them under the basket in the cart. "So Alice, what about you and Edward? Have you two ever... "

Alice groaned, holding her head back, "we're talking about you, not me."

"Oh but we all are very interested in knowing," I said with a nod.

"Well, if you must know..." Alice replied, bouncing around the cart, "...we almost... once."

I crinkled my forehead in disappointment. "What happened?"

"We were... drunk and... realized it wasn't the best for us... at the time."

Bella nodded, exhaling, "I understand that."

"I don't," I replied, causing them to laugh. "I mean, you like a guy, you have the chemistry, you have protection, and you have fun. Or at least... _some _kind of fun. That's what being young is all about."

"So I want to know how the whole Jacob and Rosalie thing happened," Bella responded in a sing-song voice, twirling around me in her squeaky snow boots.

I groaned, "we were horny. We're friends. We figured we'd lend a hand and help each other out. But we never had sex."

"But you said he gave the best head," Alice said to me with a sly smile.

"And?"

"Well what about Emmett?" Bella asked. "Do you like him now?"

I smiled, "I don't know... maybe. He seems like such a jerk sometimes, when the guys get together, and act like... guys. But last night, he lay beside me, over the covers, and we didn't even kiss. I wanted to really bad, but instead, he just ran his finger along my hand and arms as we talked about our families and our lives... we stayed up all night just talking. It really surprised me, because he seemed... you know... just as outgoing as I do, so to speak. But when we got together, all the physical stuff just went aside, and we really had a wonderful night. And to be honest, I hadn't spent a night like that in such a long time."

"Aww," they gushed at me.

"I really think I'm starting to like him."

"Aww!" Bella gushed again. "That's great, Rose!"

"Yeah yeah," I replied, waving my hands along to the last aisle, "we'll see. I don't want to talk about it too much and jinx it!"

"She really must like him then," Alice whispered to Bella as they giggled.

"You guys. Shut it. Come on, let's go home."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Though I know it probably wasn't the best idea to talk with Edward behind Bella's back, especially about Bella... I couldn't help myself. I wanted to know his side of the story. I wanted to know why my girlfriend disliked him so much, yet compared me, and every other guy she'd ever met to him. I wanted to know what he was like, without all the drama surrounding him... and what I've came to understand is, he's not that bad. In fact, it's quite easy to be around him. He's funny, witty, talented...

Not to mention very fucking intimidating.

But I enjoyed the fact that he could open up to me as easy as I could him. And that it wasn't _that _awkward.

Plus, it's true that women know men gossip more than they do... we just do it in a more carefree manner then they do.

So here we were, four games of pool in, him winning two of the times. We were on our final round now, this time worth twenty bucks.

"So what's one thing about Bella that bugs you a bit?" he asked with a laugh.

"Well," I said with a shrug, "sometimes it bugs me when she goes into shy-mode. Sometimes, of course, I find it adorable... but other times... not as much. I'd rather her be the Bella that surprises people, like when she gave you a lap dance... no one expected that, including myself. She's really overtaking when she puts on that hat."

He smirked, calling his shot, "Bella's always been like that. She's got this shy streak, when you kid around with her about sex sometimes... but then other times, on the _exact _same subject of sex, when _she _brings it up... this sort of ... I don't know... feisty, sexy, fun girl escapes her. She's fifty-fifty when it comes to that, and it's pretty cool."

I agreed. "What was the hardest part for you two, besides the other people, in your relationship?"

"Ohhh," he stretched his arms, "probably... the sex." He raised his chin up from his lowered shot to make sure I was okay with that. I nodded at him.

"She told me about that night."

"Oh did she?" he asked amused. "Hmm. I hadn't even told Alice."

"Bella pretty much tells me everything."

"Hmm," he scored his shot, "she sure has grown up."

"Yes she has. So... how long had you known Alice?"

"Since we were three," he chuckled. "When my dad Carlisle got a promotion to head of the Surgery Department, and we moved to Forks, Alice's mother packed her up and moved them here along with us. Our parents are inseparable, making us equally inseparable. She's a wonderful woman."

"She seems so," I replied. "I find her interesting."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I smiled, "she's got spunk about her, but also this really sweet, sensitive, shy side. I like that in a woman."

"Alice is the whole package. She doesn't even realize her potential sometimes. I wonder if she gets that from Bella."

We smirked as we drank our beer.

"Are you two...?" I held my hands out in a weighing motion, "you know... Together?"

He shook his head slightly, "she's my best friend. It's complicated."

"Complicated-good?"

He shrugged, "complicated-complicated. Very confusing, very surreal. I've got all these other issues on my shoulders right now; it would only add to it and make things worse. I couldn't give her the proper attention that she deserved, relationship-wise. Not when my hands are tied."

"But doesn't breaking up with Tanya sort of... I don't know, untie those hands?"

"Sure," he agreed, "...if it were Tanya that did the tying in the first place."

My cell phone rang, bringing our conversation to a halt. I rose up my index finger as I turned to answer it. "Hello?"

"Jasper! It's Rosalie! We just got into an accident! It was so scary! We're kind of freaking out because it happened right after this big hill, and the cars are going way too fast and there's ice! ... W-We were on the interstate and a car in front of us l-lost control, and then this other semi had to turn almost _side-ways_ to miss it, and so I hit my brakes and almost hit them, and there were cars behind me, and I didn't know what to do so I turned Emmett's car to the right to not cause a pile up, and we did this spin thing and I thought we were going to tip!... but we didn't and now we're stuck in this ditch-like _thing _and we can't get it out, and it's freezing out here!"

My heart was pounding through my chest. "Rosalie, calm down! Is everyone okay?"

"Yes I think so... w-we're just stuck."

"Okay, we'll be right there. Stay calm."

Edward raised his eyebrow, leaning his pool stick against the table. "Everything all right?"

I felt frazzled when I responded, "I'm afraid not. T-They put Emmett's jeep in a ditch. The roads are too damn slick, and only getting worse. They wrecked it."

"Come on, let's go." He grabbed his jacket, tossing me mine, and we ran out of the house, not bothering to wake Emmett up from his nap or hunt down Jacob from his hiding spot from Edward. We climbed in his car, being that my truck is too lowered and won't do any better on those slick roads. His is higher stacked from the road, bringing less contact to the ice.

The snow was really starting to come down as Edward used my phone while driving, calling his cell phone, which Bella answered.

He remained calm, but I could hear her frantic on the other end.

"Bella? Hey, are the three of you all right? .... Yeah? ... Good.... Did that semi get away or did he get hurt too? ... Mmmhmm. Right... Good girl, you did the right thing. I'm proud of you. No, don't get out and make sure he's in his truck, I'm sure he's doing alright. The paramedics are on the way, they'll handle that. Tell them I said to stay in the car too. I understand hun, but you don't want to get out of the car and end up being run over by the oncoming traffic, or freeze out there in the cold... No, Jasper and I are on the way right now, so don't panic.... I know... I know, Bella.... Yes, but, hey, hey... Bella, listen to me... If you panic, it's just going to make it worse. The cars aren't going to hit you, I promise... Yes, I promise. ...They will hopefully see the Jeep and switch over to the other lane.... Mmhmm.... I know sweetheart. We'll be there in five minutes..."

He listened to her as he looked at me and mouthed _She's okay_. I nodded, exhaling. There had to be at least four feet of snow outside, not to mention a good solid sheet of ice on all the roads... And there were wrecks everywhere. Not very comforting.

"...No, I don't mind staying on the phone with you until we get there..."

He chuckled, pulling onto the interstate, "don't you worry about me; I know how to handle this type of weather. I'm serious, stop worrying your pretty head... Mmhmm... Shhhh.... I know... Tell Alice to stop crying, we're almost there... I know you guys are scared... We're almost there... Can you put Rose on for a second? ... Hey Rose... Yeah, we're fine, how are you handling it? ... Good... No Emmett's not going to be upset with you.... I promise, Rose. He's insured with full coverage... It was better that you did that than get into an accident and get yourselves killed, right? .... I know.... I know you guys are scared... We'll be there in a few minutes, stay calm. Keep the heater on and don't get out okay? ... "

As he talked, his voice so soothing, almost _velvety _even... he really impressed me. He had an incredible ability to handle stressful situations, while I was over here tensed up in anxiety. Edward seemed like a professional when it comes to these girls... and I remember Bella telling me he wanted to be a doctor like his father, which seemed to be a good fit for him.

We started to slow down when we began to drive up this icy hill on a bridge. There was a bit of a traffic jam, due to so many cars sliding off the road.

When we rose to the top to the hill, my heart really began to beat out of my chest. The first thing I saw to the left of the interstate was a blue semi truck with his trailer tipped over. Then we saw a red car and a yellow car that were smashed and collided a few feet from that. To the right we saw tire tracks, and then Emmett's truck, the front end down a steep ditch. Then there were a few more cars past them, off the road with blinking lights. Edward hit his flashers and slowed the car down, and we felt the car sliding down the hill. He kept maintain of it as we went lower, toward Emmett's car. But other cars behind us were struggling more.

Traffic was really backed up, and it was pretty damn scary. I was freaking out on the inside. Cars were honking all around; there were sirens in the distance...

Once he pulled behind the jeep, he handed me some gloves and kept his flashers on. "Alright, you go check on the girls, stay there with them, okay? I'm going to go make sure that everyone else is all right."

I nodded as we bailed out of the car. I watched as he crossed the slick interstate between cars, running quickly. I ran to the girls, to find Rosalie crouched over the seat with her head on the steering wheel, crying. Bella's eyes were wide and swollen as she fidgeted in the passenger seat, and Alice was sniffling in the back seat. Grocery bags were spilled over behind her.

"Are you guys okay?" I asked, as they all saw me and the three of them leaned over to hug me. I inspected their faces and bodies quickly. Rosalie had a slight gash on the left side of her forehead, probably from the steering wheel or window when they collided. Bella's right forearm was scratched, and Alice didn't look scratched, but was complaining a bit about her neck... which made me think of possible whiplash.

I told them to stay inside as I hopped down the steep hill, almost falling, and tried to inspect how deep they were in... It was pretty fucking bad. I could feel my face burning from the cold wind as I glanced across the road. I saw Edward standing on the step of the passenger side of the Blue rig, his hands in the air and talking inside the window. After a few seconds, he nodded and ran down the snow-covered grass, about twenty feet, toward the red and yellow cars that had collided together, from opposite lanes. He was motioning to them and running between the cars, making sure everyone was alright there too.

Cars continued to slide down the hills recklessly, making me and the girls nervous as I watched their expressions of horror as they stared out the back window, toward the traffic. "This road should be fucking shut down," I said to myself as I got on my knees, trying to move the snow away from the tires and inspect for flats. I heard police and ambulance sirens from a distance, horns honking as they tried not to cause accidents passing through the traffic jam. Once they finally made it, they pulled by the semi, as another cop car and ambulance went toward Edward. He talked to paramedics, showing them something from his wallet. They nodded and he pointed to where we were, probably explaining why he was here. They talked for a few more minutes. There weren't really enough paramedics to handle the six cars that were off the road, in this little section alone. I didn't even want to imagine how bad it was elsewhere. This was shitty enough.

I climbed into the Jeep with the girls, trying to feel my ears and nose again. It had to have dropped to about zero degrees out here. It was ridiculously cold, even for the 28th of December, on such a shitty day.

Edward opened up the driver's door to the yellow car while the three paramedics ran to the red car. They were pulling out two kids, one who seemed like she had a broken arm, and a hysteric mom. Edward helped move an older man, probably in his seventies, who was crying, hugging him. The girls began to cry as they watched all the different scenes, bouncing between them and the paramedics trying to pull the man from the semi truck. He appeared to have a pretty bloody face and a broken leg or two.

Edward remained calm as he helped the last woman paramedic get the man into the ambulance, rubbing his arms and reassuring him he was okay. After that, the paramedics must have told him thanks and to get back to us. Bella and Alice straightened up their backs as he came toward the crowded interstate, nervous about him crossing the road. I don't even think Bella was breathing, and Alice's was very shallow. Rosalie had her hand over her mouth, not saying anything. "He's alright girls," I whispered to them, "he won't get hurt."

"Edward_ddd_, watch it," Bella whispered, biting her nails and looking anxious.

We heard tires screech and she practically shot out of the seat, onto her knees. "Oh God, oh God, oh God... No, no... Edward don't do it yet..."

Edward froze, taking a few steps back from the road.

"Good, good. Stay there, wait till that black car passes... his brakes aren't good!" she shouted, as if he could hear her.

I watched as he waited; a few cars behind the black car honking. After it passed, he jogged back across the interstate to us. He ran over to the drivers side, and Rosalie jerked the door open as far as it would go, considering the snow drift from all the wind. His face was red and his eyes were puffy from the cold, but he seemed calm.

"Are you guys okay?" he asked.

"Yes!" Bella shouted. "Get in here before you _freeze_!"

"No, I'm fine, don't worry. We're going to get you out, all right?"

They nodded, but Bella refused to take his word, leaning over Rosalie and grabbing him by his wrists, yanking him closer. She aimed all the vents in his direction, turning the heater on full blast.

She pulled his gloves off of him, putting his red hands toward the nearest vent. She didn't seem to care that leaving the door open while he stood outside let all the heat out of the Jeep, as long as _he _became warm.

They didn't say a word, just smiled at each other gently.

It made me feel uneasy... awkward...

I don't know what I felt.

Confused, mostly.

And maybe jealous...

_As if this was the time or place to get jealous,_ I thought to myself as I scoffed. _Get a grip Jasper, this is serious._

After a few more minutes, he pulled his glove back on. "All right, this is what we're going to do: Alice, Rosalie, Bella, I want you to go get in my car. Jasper and I are going to try and get this out, but I don't need you in here, panicking."

"I don't want to get in your car!" Alice shouted. "It's behind _this _car! What if someone hits us?!"

"They won't, Alice," he whispered, leaning over Rose's seat to give her a hug, "I promise. Stop shaking, you're alright."

"I'm scared to death, Edward. There are people over there on stretchers!"

"I know you are, but _we're _all okay. You girls just need to trust me okay?"

They slowly nodded.

"Besides, you all did the right thing... You _avoided _a fifteen car pile-up. You called the ambulance for the others. You stayed in the car, you remained calm. I'm proud of you."

Alice and Rosalie cracked a slight smile, but Bella still seemed scared... worried... but I began to think more for Edward than anyone else.

Again, making me jealous. _Stop it!_

I walked them to Edward's car, reassuring them everything was going to be alright.

Then I ran back over to Edward, "alright, how do we get this beast out?"

"Well," he exhaled, inspecting the damage, "...we're at a deep incline, which is strike one. The Jeep is all-wheel drive, which may help us. See that patch of ice right there?" he pointed.

I nodded.

"That's called a _bitch_. It's going to cause the tires to spin, because there's no traction there, due to it being slick and cold. In the snow parts, like here at the front tires, it'll help us out. That's a good thing... So we're going to have to get the tires spinning enough to create some heat on the ice, so we can achieve a better traction, thus creating more force on the front tires... which could _possibly _pop us out."

I nodded again, trying to figure out how he knew this shit. I knew about trucks, but not any of this weather stuff.

"...and if that doesn't work," he replied, taking a deep breath as we both shuddered in the gust of wind, "...then we're going to have to flag someone down with a heavy truck that can pull us out."

"Should I call Emmett and wake him up, so he knows what is going on? I know we were so worried about the girls, we sort of just ran out.

"Yeah that's a good idea."

I figured Emmett would be the type to freak out over his precious vehicle, but he didn't. He was mainly worried about the girls' safety, and for ours. He offered to come out, but really didn't have a way to get there. So I told him not to, and if anything happened, we'd call.

Edward explained to me that he was going to try and gain some leverage on the ice, and to stand behind the vehicle, a few feet back on the shoulder, to make sure if he popped out, he wasn't going to hit any cars. So that's what I did.

I watched as he put the Jeep in reverse, revving the tires up. The front tires didn't even move at first, being that they were so deep in the snow. The back tires screeched and sped, faster and faster and faster, throwing patches of ice and steam behind him. I turned to make sure there were no cars, and then waved to the girls to make sure they knew we were alright. They were all biting their fingernails.

Edward did that three times, and on the fourth attempt, the front wheels started gaining speed. He'd move it back a few inches, but it'd roll forward again, back to the spot it was in.

I began to lose hope as I watched him struggle and fight against it. Then, around the seventh attempt, he almost got it all the way up and we all tensed up, until it began to slide backward to the left... then it slid back into the ditch at a different angle, more on its left side than straight forward.

He climbed out, breathing heavily. "Okay, that's not what I wanted to happen, necessarily, but it's better. Now we can flag someone down, and if they pull us out, it won't be straight for the lanes of highway... it'll be pulled more on the shoulder."

I nodded, listening to his instructions on how to flag someone down. As we stood on both sides of the interstate, waving our hands in the air toward the cars, Bella began to honk the horn to gain more attention. It took us about fifteen staggering minutes to get a Chevy 4x4 stock truck. A man with a heavy beard and a hunting hat ran toward me as Edward crossed the interstate again. We explained to him the situation, and he was gracious enough to help us out. Edward told me to go back his car up a few feet so the truck driver could squeeze in, while he helped him set up the tow.

I did what I was told, and so did he.

I stayed with the girls while they worked on it. The three of them remained tensed and panicked the entire time, until about twelve minutes later, when the Jeep popped loose from its stubborn spot, and onto the shoulder. Edward ran and hopped in, since the left side was on the slow lane, and pulled it over off the road completely.

"Oh thank God!" Rosalie shouted, still not taking our word that Emmett wasn't mad at her.

After Edward and the man shook hands and everything was situated, we figured out the seating arrangement. Alice and Rosalie refused to get back in the Jeep, still shaken up.

So I told Bella to go with Edward, which I personally felt was a better idea because I knew she'd be safe, since he knew what he was doing... plus she seemed so worried about him; I felt it would be a good time for her to get herself calm down, if she was near him...

And I told the girls I'd drive his car home, and they'd be safe with me. While we were working earlier, Edward explained to me tips on how to handle a vehicle in this type of extreme weather, so I knew I'd be okay to handle it. And I'd stay in front of him, so he could help me if I screwed up anything.

Bella gave me a kiss first, which made me slightly better.

But only slightly, as I soaked in her relieved expression as she ran to him.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

My heart was beating through my throat. My snow boots felt heavy, and my body was freezing. Edward came out of the truck once he saw me running, meeting me halfway to the Jeep.

"Bella! What are you doing? It's freezing out here!"

I met him, my hands on his forearms, "I was worried about you; I didn't want you to drive by yourself!"

"Bella, I'm fine," he said, pulling me closer, "you don't have to worry about me."

"I know but I can't help it."

We started to walk, but a car honked behind us and startled me, and I lost my balance. Edward twisted to grab a hold of me, and I started to fall back into the ditch, so he pulled me into him, landing on his back, with me on top of him.

We hit the road with an _ooof!_

His hands were on my hips as I lay on top of him, both of us breathing heavily. "Are you okay?" he asked.

I nodded, apologizing to him, "I'm sorry, I slipped, I didn'-"

"Bella, stop apologizing!" He pulled me to his chest and rose unsteadily to his feet. It was freezing, windy, snowing heavily, and the ground beneath us was like a skating rink.

He checked my hands, noticing they were a little scratched. He wiped them off with his gloves before pulling me into his chest, walking us back toward the Jeep. I felt the electric current overflowing between us with our constant contact.

He opened the door for me, which creaked now, thanks to us girls... and put me in. Then he ran around the front, inspecting the damage quickly, before climbing into the front seat.

"Brrr!" he exhaled as we put on our seatbelts. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, swallowing hard as my heart continued to drum.

He looked over his left shoulder, motioning for Jasper to go on ahead of us.

"Easy Jasper," he whispered, coaching him as if he could hear, "that's it... don't worry about the cars behind you... There you go, you got it."

Then he put the Jeep in first, moving us along. The back tires slid in space at first, but we finally got unstuck and weaseled onto the lanes.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said as he drove. "I didn't know it was going to get this bad. It came down quick. I would have never let you guys leave had I known it would be like this."

"It's not your fault, Edward. No one knew. It came out of nowhere."

"Yeah, it's most likely going to get worse too."

"Great..." I moaned, not taking my eyes off of the vehicles around us. I was so nervous, so frightened still that I was shaking. I didn't want anyone to get hurt. _Especially him_.

He noticed my trembling after a few seconds, taking my bare hands in his. "You're okay, sweetheart."

I nodded, not saying anything.

He remained calm, keeping his eyes on the road, in the mirrors, beside him, on me, on Jasper's driving...

"I really need a beer when we get home, after all this is said and done," I choked out, with a slight chuckle, "my nerves are shot."

He found this amusing, laughing with me, "or some weed. That works better."

I smirked, "I haven't done that since we were kids. That one time, remember?"

"Of _course_! You begged and begged me to let you try it, and then you did, and we jumped on the trampoline in my back yard, acting like little kids! Then when it _really _sunk in, you went into a panic attack because you thought everyone knew and your dad would figure us out, so I had to calm you down and-"

I cut him off, giggling at my own humility, "and then you told me to get under the covers and eat a Reese's cup, so I did, and I remember telling you it was the _best food I _ever _had_!"

He threw his head back, laughing as we slowly edged off the interstate behind Jasper, and onto the highway. "You were so funny! Just _mmmm_ing and _oohhhhh_ing. If I hadn't been in the room with you, I would have thought you were having an orgasm!"

This made _me _burst into laughter, my stomach beginning to hurt. "it was so hilarious! Then I got cotton mouth, do you remember? And I kept licking my palm because I thought it was funny!"

"Yes! Then you asked _me _to lick your palm, to see if it would taste the same as you described! Ha! And I did, and it didn't taste the same at all!"

He shook his head in thought, "wait, what did you say it tasted like again?'

"Like salty ocean mixed with fresh peaches!" I threw my face into my hands. "So embarrassing! What a combination!"

"Hey, when you're high, you think of some random shit!"

After we calmed down our breathing from our giggle fit, something else popped in my head. "It's so funny that you want to be a doctor, but smoke out."

"I don't really do it that much," he replied earnestly. "Once every month or two... if even. When I'm bored. Just like cigarettes, only when I'm stressed... or on vacation. But tonight, I may make an exception."

I snickered, "hey, do you remember that time we had that massive power outage, and we lied and told my mom we were going to put puzzles together on the floor next to the fireplace, and we ended up making out, all over the puzzle pieces?"

"Yes! Because Renee came in and we tried to act like we weren't doing anything, but you had tiny puzzle pieces in your hair!"

"I know!" I giggled as we turned down our road, "and you had some in the hoodie of your sweatshirt! We were so busted!"

He shook his head, chuckling to himself, "we were dorks."

"Hey!" I pushed him slightly with my free hand. "Speak for yourself!"

He smirked, giving me his crooked smile. _My favorite smile._

As we pulled into the drive and parked, I noticed that not only was my hand in his, but we were holding hands, like a couple now... fingers intertwined, palms locked. I bit my lip, slowly pulling my clammy hand from his heated grip.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered with a slightly embarrassed smile.

I returned his smile, "no worries."

Emmett came running out of the house as everyone climbed out of Edward's car, trying to get the groceries in the house without breaking a leg. "Is everyone all right?" he asked.

We nodded. Edward and Jasper walked in front of the Jeep to meet him, squatting down to inspect the damage as Jacob came sauntering out of the house. I overheard them talking over each other. Both headlights were out, the bumper was slightly scratched on the right, dented on the left, and some few minor dinks.

Rosalie curled her bottom lip out at me as we walked into the house with the final bags of groceries.

"Rose, it's not your fault."

"I know but I should have done _something_. Nothing pisses men off more than their vehicles getting wrecked."

"At least we're not hurt," Alice contributed.

"Yeah, but still..." Rose didn't take our word for it, pouting more, "he's so mad at me, I just have this feeling."

We began to put away the groceries, and I noticed Tanya still sitting in the exact same spot on the couch, in the same position. That meant the cab didn't come, with the traffic jams. And that meant she wasn't even concerned for any of us, especially Edward. _God, what a bitch._

The guys entered the house after a few more minutes, coughing and catching their breath. Emmett came in, and as soon as he entered the kitchen, Rosalie burst into tears. He walked up to her, cradling her head into his chest as he shushed her.

"I'm so sorry!" she cried, humiliated. "I didn't mean to wreck your car!"

"Hey, hey," he whispered soothingly, rocking her from side to side, "I'm not upset with you. I'm just glad you were okay. I wished I could have been there."

"I didn't know what else to _do_, I'm so sorry. I understand if you're upset, and I promise Emmett, I'll pay for all the damages."

"No, no, there will be none of that," he kissed the top of her head. "I'm just glad you guys are all alright. I was really worried, especially for you."

She continued to sob into his shirt. I hadn't seen Rosalie this worked up since we were kids. She must really like him.

Alice and I smiled at each other as we watched their embrace. They did have a connection; that was true. As Alice put the cold items in the fridge, I glanced over the counter, and saw Edward staring at me, with sad eyes. My chest caved in as I glanced at him, and for a brief moment, I wished it was us in that type of embrace...

And then Jasper wrapped his arms around me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I took a breath, placing my attention back to his face as I hugged him back.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Bella."

"I'm glad you're okay too."

I had my eyes closed as we swayed back and forth. Then, I glanced over his left shoulder, back at Edward. He had Alice sitting up on a counter, wiping her face off with a cold rag. She had makeup smeared from her tears before, and he wanted to take care of her. After he was done, she pulled him to her, wrapping her legs and arms around him.

Again, my chest ached... for multiple, confusing reasons. Part of me, the biggest part, was jealous that he was holding anyone else but me. I don't know why, considering we just now became social toward each other... but I couldn't shake those feelings that crept up, telling me that it should be me in his arms... Then, this other half of me enjoyed being in Jasper's arms, and looked at Alice in heartbreak, knowing how much she loved him, romantically, and wondering why he couldn't see her that same way as she saw him...

I thought that maybe I could help Alice and Edward get together, if I reassure him somehow that it'd be good for him... that's the ex-girlfriend-slash-new-friend in me that wanted to help them out, and see that they both were happy.

But then there was this other selfish, stubborn, jealous girl that didn't _want _them to be together. Him with _anyone_, for that matter.

I don't know why either, and I felt incredible guilty for feeling this way.

I was still upset for some of the things that happened to Edward and I in the past, and I knew it would take awhile for those wounds to heal, regardless of if we've came to a mutual agreement for us to accept each other's apologies... and I knew he most likely didn't look at me like that anymore.

After all, last night as truth or dare was coming to an end, he said he loved me. _Loved_. Past tense.

_I mean, hello Bella... you've moved on with Jasper. And he _does _make you happy, you can't deny that. And he cares about you soooo much. And you care about him too. So what is your problem? What do you want?!_

I sighed, squeezing Jasper tighter as I stared at them. I didn't know _what _I wanted. That was the hard part.

Emmett told us to take a break, and he was going to cook some steaks for us. Alice went and laid down in her bed, Jasper said he was going to go call his Dad -- they're really close -- Rosalie said she'd help Emmett cook because it was the least she could do. Jacob was sitting beside Tanya, and he even got her to move as she played Rummy with him. I noticed Edward following me up the stairs, and my heart skipped as the current increased between us.

When we both reached the third floor, I turned and smiled at him. "So... What are you about to do?"

He shrugged, looking around the hall. "I'm not quite sure. I thought about taking a shower. How about you?"

I giggled, "I was about to take a hot bubble bath."

"Oh," he chuckled, "I can wait then. Or take a shower somewhere else."

I nodded, biting my lip, "...thanks for today, Edward. You were really incredible. You held everything together, just like you always do."

"Thank you," he smiled and slowly blinked at me. "That's what I'm here for."

I nodded, swallowing hard. Again, I felt guilty, because I didn't want to leave his sight.

"I'm glad you're okay," he said, patting my right arm. "Go relax in the tub."

"Okay," I whispered, staggering as I walked away from him. I rolled my eyes at myself as I entered my bedroom, closing the door behind me and leaning against it, holding my breath.

_Stop it, Bella. Jesus Christ._

I filled the tub up with bubble bath, grabbed my journal form the nightstand, undressed, and climbed into the hot water. My bones tensed up at first with the heat contact, then relaxed as I settled in.

"Ahh," I exhaled, leaning against the back, "this feels good."

I lay back, swaying my legs from side to side as I dangled my ring on the chain from my fingers. I thought about today, the car accident, the conversations with the girls in the store... I thought about Alice and Edward, and me and Jasper, and then I thought about me and Edward...

About fifteen minutes through my soak, I heard something that made my heart stop.

Edward was in his room, playing on his acoustic guitar. I stiffened as I listened to the intricate melody... my heart clenching. There was nothing, and I do mean nothing, that got to me more than Edward when he played his music. Whether it is the grand piano at his parent's house, or his acoustic guitar while his rusty, sexy, soft voice sang along...

I used to be able to listen to him for hours, watching his delicate fingers work, and me melting into a puddle of goo at his feet.

"I wanted you to know... that I love the way you laugh," he sang, his romantic voice breaking my heart. "...I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away... I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well... I wanna hold you high and steal your pain.... Because I'm broken... when I'm lonesome... and I don't feel right.... when you're gone away..." He hummed the last of the verse as his fingers continued to strum the strings, breaking my bones with their delicacy.

He didn't sing the girl part, and after a few seconds of it, I found myself lip-syncing the words quietly while I swayed the necklace in my hands. "...hmm-hmm.. hmm...hmm hmm hmm... and we can breathe again... I wanna hold you high and steal my pain... away.... There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight... I wanna hold you high and steal your pain..." I pursed my lips together, closing my eyes as I listened to his strumming get heavier... more beautiful.

I leaned my head back, soaking up the rest of his song... his humming...

After that song, and a melody I didn't recognize that must be his own, I heard his bedroom door open with a knock. What startled me more is that it was my new boyfriend, entering my ex's bedroom.

"Hey, what's up?" Edward asked, his strumming slowing to a stop.

"I'm sorry to bother you, and for being rude... I happened to hear you playing... I didn't know you played guitar."

"Yeah," Edward replied, strumming a few cords, "since I was fifteen. Bella's dad got me into it, actually."

My eyes sealed tight, my chin quivering.

"Oh yeah?"

"Mmhmm. I'd come over, back when Bella and I were merely lab partners, and listen to him play after he got home from his shift. He taught me a few cords, and I picked it up pretty quickly. My mother played piano, so I knew about rhythms and notes..."

"Can you play anything else?"

"Yeah, I can play electric guitar, which I brought as well... Over there, actually... And piano... And a little drums, but not that well. It's more Emmett's thing; I just like to play around."

"I can play electric guitar," Jasper replied, "since I was about seven."

"Really? Wanna play?"

"Sure. What do you know?"

"Anything."

"Do you know _30 Seconds _from_ Mars_?_ 'The _Kill,' perhaps?" Jasper suggested.

"I bet if you began, I could catch on and pick it up..."

I began to wash my body as I relaxed, smiling. I loved Jasper when he played this song. It was so hot. A country boy who loved to rock out.

After only a few tries, Edward picked it up like it was a piece of cake.

"...What if I wanted to fight?" Edward sang as they strummed together, in almost perfect harmony. "...Beg for the rest of my life? ...What would you do? Do? Do? ... You say you wanted more... What are you waiting for? I'm not running from... you... From you..."

Then they both sang together, melting me more. "Come... break me down... bury me, bury me, I am finished with you..."

Then Jasper stopped singing, letting Edward finish, his scratchy voice affecting me in more ways than one. "...Look... in my eyes. You're killing me, killing me, all I wanted was you..."

They both stopped singing, focusing their attention on their now-perfect in sync rhythms.

After that, they played a few more popular songs, but not singing. I climbed out of the tub, wrapping the towel around me as I glanced in the mirror.

Then Alice called for Jasper from the kitchen, saying Emmett wanted him.

When Jasper left, I heard Edward playing something much softer...

Almost so soft, I couldn't hear it until I heard him singing... "Ohh.... Ohhh... ...No, no..."

And right there, I lost my breath. Because I knew the song.

He wrote it for me...

...After...

I felt the tear drop fall from my left eye...

-

FLASH! _Edward in a black suit, walking into my bedroom as I sat on my bed crying, in my black dress_. FLASH! _Him _kneeling_ in front of me, gathering my hands in his_. FLASH! _"Bella," he whispered as his soft, broken eyes found mine_,_ "I know you don't want to do this, but I think it's for the best... You're going to regret it if you don't go, I think." _FLASH! _Me sobbing, staring at my sweaty hands in his. My heart felt too heavy, too sad. Too broken. I felt so alone, but so happy he was there. But still so alone... _FLASH! _"E-Edward, I don't think I... that I c-can go," I stuttered through my tears _that were _dripping onto his hands_. FLASH! _Him rubbing my hands with his thumbs. "I'll be right there with you the entire time, okay? I won't leave your side, I promise." _FLASH! _"I know, but I can't say goodbye to him... I don't want to." _FLASH! _Edward scooping me up in his arms as he stood, allowing me to bury my face into his jacket. "I know_,_ love... I know you don't." _FLASH! _Edward raising my face with his hands, his eyes finding my blurry ones. "We're going to make it through this. You're going to make it through this, Bella. So is your mom. I promise you, you will."_ FLASH! _"I can't, Edward! I can't... I don't want to do this, please don't make me do this... please.... please..." I gripped him tight, sobbing louder into his jacket. _FLASH! _I heard him sniffling as he buried his face into the top of my head, squeezing me tighter_. FLASH! _"I wish I could take this pain away from you Bella... I would do it in a heartbeat." _FLASH!

-

I gasped, leaning over the bathroom counter as I began to cry full force, listening to Edward repeating the beginning of the song, before the words come into play.

He continued to strum, humming to himself as the sensitive melodies crashed over me.

-

FLASH! _Edward gripping my hand as we stood in the grass, the family and friends behind us as we stared at the silver casket, listening to the song of his final wish_, "_Bridge Over Troubled Water_"_ by Simon & _Garfunkel. FLASH! _The breaking of my heart as I listened to my mother sobbing loudly, and glanced to see Phil with his arms over shoulder, holding her for dear life. _FLASH! _The jealous, frightened, insecure, anger, confusion mixture I felt as I watched it be him, and not my dad_. FLASH! _Edward cradling me into his arms as we walked toward the closed casket to say our final _goodbyes. FLASH! _Edward rubbing my _back_ as I leaned over to kiss the lid of the casket, hearing my mom break down again in the background_. FLASH! _All my family members coming up to me and saying their regards_. FLASH! _"He was such a good father to you, Bella, and he loved his job. He only did what was best." _FLASH! _"He couldn't have seen that coming, Bella. This is a small town. No one expects someone to react that way." _FLASH! The _whispers around me from gatherers. _FLASH! _"It was a bullet. The man, Arnold Right, shot him in the chest. Killed him instantly." _FLASH! _"Don't tell me to calm down!" my mom shouted at my aunt as she cried. "That was my husband! We may have gotten a divorce and moved on, but I still loved him! I told him time and time again to stop that job! I told him it was dangerous, that he could get hurt! And do you know what he told me? He said it was his job! He said he loved it, that he could keep Bella safe as a police officer. He said this was a safe town! And do you know what safe got him? Dead! DEAD! And now my daughter doesn't have a real father, since she lost hers two weeks before her eighteenth birthday!" _FLASH!

-

My heart squeezed together, as my hand clasped on my heart, gripping my side of the ring in my fingers like it was a ticking bomb. I slid down the door.

-

FLASH! _Me, standing by my Dad's favorite tree, outside at the backyard. I remember Charlie once telling me that he didn't care if lightning hit it ten years back... he called it 'beautiful broken'. I told Edward that when we were fifteen, and he thought it was cute. _FLASH! _"Bella?" Edward walking to me, his eyes soothing mine. "What are you doing out here? Are you all right?" _FLASH! _I nodded, giving him the strongest, hardest, half_-_smile I could force through my lips. "I just can't be there anymore. I can't listen to people talk about Charlie in the past tense. I can't ..." I gasped. "I can't l-listen to my mom reminding me how she wished none of this ever happened, because she couldn't take me not h-having a f-father," I was crying now as my hands _reached_ out to him, begging him to hold me. _FLASH! "_I know_,_ Angel," he replied, pulling me in his arms as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I tucked mine under his, wrapping mine around his as I looked up to him, crying silently, trying to find any kind of comfort in his eyes that could soothe me. _FLASH! _I wanted to tell him I loved him, so bad at that moment... but felt it wasn't the best time... though I knew he wanted to tell me too, I think_. FLASH!

-

I staggered to the door, listening to the last intro as I slid down against it, onto the floor.

-

FLASH! _Edward pulling me out on the back porch, as the rest of my family gave their apologies to my mom as they began to file out and say goodnight_. FLASH! _"I wrote this for you... the night we found out," he whispered, pulling his guitar onto his suited pants as he sat on the wood siding of the porch_. FLASH! _"I'm not really good with words with things like this, Bella... I know what I _want _to say to you right now... But I know that it's probably the last thing _you want_ to hear, with all of this going on... so I hope this will be good enough, and you can read between the words... I wrote it when I thought about the pain you were in... and how I felt I was in it too, because I can't take it away... I was wondering if I could give you some type of sign of how much I care for you... " _FLASH!

-

I heard Edward humming, and my heart all but stopped as his words came out... "Ohh.... Ohhh.... No, no, no..."

I cried heavily, clutching the ring tighter as I curled into fetal position. And his singing... And it crushed my soul into two halves.

His voice was beautiful. It was broken. And it hurt to listen to:

"She's standing by a ...broken tree... Her hands are all twisted... She pointed at me... I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes... She... spoke with a voice that... disrupted the sky, she said 'Come on over to the... bitter shade, I'll wrap you in my arms, and you'll know that you've been saved'... Let me sign... Let me sign..."

As he strummed along toward the end, it all smacked me in my face... _let me sign... _it meant, in this case, that he loved me, and that he was willing to drown in my pain with me, let it be damned, so I wouldn't have to go through it alone.... Even then, when he couldn't say it... he _knew _he loved me... and that's what he wanted to tell me but felt it wasn't the best time at the end of Charlie's funeral.

I sat against the door, weak and sobbing silent tears, until I was all cried out. Then I pulled myself to my feet and splashed cold water on my face.

I knew what I had to do, and I needed to do it now. So I didn't care that I was in a towel, or crying earlier and now my face was red.

It was the right thing to do.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I played my guitar, thinking about my history with Bella... and today... and all the times we've had hardships.

I was so worried about her when Jasper said they'd gotten into an accident. My first instinct was to call her, and thankfully, he didn't seem upset. She kept saying on the phone that she was worried about me, that she didn't want me coming out there to help them because she couldn't deal with it if I got hurt too... She begged me to stay on the phone with her... and she never once mentioned Jasper.

My chest clutched as strummed the strings silently, shaking my head.

It sure has been one hell of a day.

I heard a knock coming from the bathroom door, and furrowed my brows.

"Come... in?" I said questionably, trying to figure out why someone would go through the bathroom.

Then Bella came out, her hair down and soaked, her face beautifully untouched, and wearing only a white towel.

I think my brain just exited the bedroom.

I couldn't breathe.

She sniffled as she walked over to me, an adorable smile on her face that matched mine.

"I'm sorry to bother you," she whispered as she stood in front of me. "Is it okay if I come in for a sec?"

I nodded, trying to gather some air into my lungs as I gripped the guitar tighter.

"I was listening to your playing while I was in... the tub... and it was beautiful, Edward... as always..."

I gave her a warm smile, wanting to reach out and grab her arm suddenly.

"...and," she continued to speak softly, "...I thought about Charlie's funeral... when you first played that song for me."

I swallowed hard, giving her a nod again.

She held out her hand to me and opened her palm, the chain linking from her index finger.

"...Let _me _sign," she whispered.

I stared at it for a few moments, dumbfounded. Then I took a breath of air as I rose to my feet, leaning the guitar beside the bed.

She didn't remove her eyes from me, just smiling.

"Where did you get that?!" I shouted, my face excited. "I've torn this room up trying to find it!"

She tilted her head and licked her lips, her smile growing more beautiful by the second. "I found it in my bed the other night... I wonder how it got there..."

I steadied my breathing as I took her in my arms, giving her a big hug. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. I felt so naked without it, but didn't want to say anything to you, just in case... you know... Thank you so much, Bella!"

She giggled, hugging me back. She felt so warm, and smelled so good.

Like fresh strawberries and cinnamon, just as she always did.

I wanted so bad to bury my face in the crook of her neck, but refrained, not wanting to push our boundaries or my luck.

I placed her feet back on the ground, slowly pulling away so I didn't knock her towel off.

Then I reached out for the necklace, but she shook her head, looking at me in shock. "That's not how it works," she said. "I have to be the one to put it on you, remember? Those are the rules."

I gave her a smirk, leaning over toward her.

She placed the necklace over my head, adjusting it to fit my neck perfectly before sticking it inside my shirt, patting it against my chest. "On your heart, remember? ...I know that's where you kept it."

I smiled at her, so happy I had that back. I felt naked, walking around this house without it. I was so used to it being there.

We were silent for a few moments, the electricity bouncing between us like a basketball against the gym floor.

But then it felt too serious, and all I wanted to do was things I shouldn't, since she was taken and I was confused.

"You're so damn short," I joked, pushing her back a little to lighten the mood.

She giggled, pushing me back, "one of these days, I'm gonna chop your legs off. Then we'll see who's short."

"Guys! FOOD'S READY!" Rose and Emmett shouted in unison for us.

I gave her one last smile before we parted, and left her to get dressed while I galloped down the stairs.

We all gathered around the dining room table for once, drinking beer and eating steak, salad, and baked potatoes.

I watched as Bella and Jasper held hands on the table. They seemed content.

Then Emmett and Rosalie to my right, looking adorable...

Then Jacob and Tanya to my left, talking about their card games they were playing...

...And then to the seat beside me, where Alice sat, looking confused but giddy at the same time.

We all talked about the accident, the traffic jam, the paramedics, the people I helped out, and the man in the truck who helped us.

We talked about music, sports, movies...

We sat there for hours after our meals, just talking... And it felt nice to be able to have all eight of us in a room together, and not bickering for at least one night.

Of course it wasn't going to always be like this.

I'm sure tomorrow, someone's going to be fighting like cats and dogs...

Most likely Bella and myself... Knowing the both of us and our mood swings...

But as Bella looked up at me, just one time through her long, dark eyelashes, she and I smiled at the exact same second... slowly... as everyone gossiped to each other around us... but we locked eyes... and our smiles didn't leave.

And that was when I realized that I _do _still love her... especially after tonight.

And then I looked down to my empty beer bottle, realizing I was now fucked.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 05! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!**

**Prewarning: Jealousy/Angst coming next chapter. They can't all be pretty.  
**

**Also, keep an eye out for teeny tiny cliff hangers through out the stories... I put one in here w/Jasper and Edward's conversation at the pool table.  
ALSO!! I realize & am well aware that some of the readers do NOT ship certain matches I've put in this story, aka Bella/Jasper and Edward/Alice... and others are okay one couple more than the other. Now I know WE are ALL EB shippers at heart and no one replaces them... but for the sake of this story, for dramatic effects until EB GET TOGETHER -- hint hint -- in your review...  
I want to know which you would PREFER to happen if you HAD TO CHOOSE:  
SEXUALLY: Bella & Jasper or Edward & Alice?? **

**Again, I know some of you will say neither, but if you HAD TO CHOOSE ONE, let me know!! I am curious to know if someone would prefer Bella/Jasper, who are in a current relationship, and that could strengthen it.... or if they'd prefer Edward/Alice, who could maybe just shake it off and be friends after... if they work hard enough on it ... or create more confustion?**

**Reviews are better than my temptations of kicking Tanya out of the cabin. :D**


	6. Secret Passion

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to Katie [Kwizbit]. I'm glad I can share my insomnia with someone else!! ;) Thanks for being you!  
Readers: You're the best with the feedback!! Keep it up!! _* hug *_  
** Thank you so much to everyone who put in their input on my last poll in their review.  
I never said I'd actually take it all the way with ANYONE, but I never said I wouldn't take it there either...  
But it was really interesting to hear the different pov's from you guys, and the different debates and reasons.  
I understand that some people said I'd lose them as readers if I chose for certain ships to be together, and though it upsets me, I understand... but I will put the story first, and hope you guys read through before you make your final decision.

* * *

**Chapter Six:  
"Two couples" in question.  
Two other couples in the house.  
... who can it be?  
Read to find out.**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**Such a lonely day,  
it shouldn't exist.  
It's a day that I'll never miss...  
Such a lonely day,  
and it's mine.  
...The most oneliest day of my life  
And if you go ...I want to go with you.  
And if you die ...I want to die with you.  
Take your hand and walk away...**_

_**System of A Down, "Lonely Day"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter Six: Secret Passion  
**

**?? POV**

_What am I doing right now?_

This isn't helping anything.

I shouldn't be in here, like this... regardless of what I want... or don't want.

Or what he wants... or doesn't want.

I sighed to myself.

_Are we ready for this? _

_Can we handle it?_

I shouldn't be waking him up right now.

I held my breath and cracked open the door, tiptoeing on the light carpet, over to the bed. Nerves washed over me as the scent of him became stronger.

He looked so peaceful as he slept... Like he was in some type of magical world, with nothing to do but fly around...

For a brief second, I wished I could somehow climb into his body and share that dream with him... escape from everything... from the reality of this world, of our relationship -- or lack there of, thanks to me and my relentless thoughts.

I'd give anything to escape right now.

And try to forget that if we take this step which I'm about to begin, there is no turning back.

We'd never be the same.

We'd never look at each other with the same thoughts as we used to... and it'd all be my fault, if this ends badly.

I sighed, running my hand along his bare back. _Please just let this night go okay... please don't let me screw this up._

I twitched my lips, watching my hand tremble along the white sheets he was covered in.

It wasn't that I felt guilty for wanting to be with him, that wasn't the case here.

It was the idea of waking up tomorrow, when all was settled and done, and feeling the entire universe shift in the sky.

It was the nervous and terrifying anticipation that this could make or break us completely.

I took a staggering breath, leaning down to his ear, running my left hand along of the back of his hair line.

"Hey you," I whispered, clutching the towel I was wearing around my body tightly.

He nuzzled his face into the white pillow, not opening his eyes, "hmm?"

I smiled, caressing the back of his head. "Hey... can you wake up for a second?"

He nuzzled his face again, and rose to his elbows, lifting his chest from the bed and looking around.

"Are you all right?" he whispered, his voice scratchy as he blinked at me.

I nodded, my heart pounding through my chest.

He took another squinty look around the darkened room, his eyes focusing on the fireplace I lit for us.

Then he glanced back at me, his eyes trailing down my body as he took in my half-naked appearance. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip, holding my breath, "can you wake up?"

He furrowed his brows in confusion, but nodded shortly after, pulling himself up and twisting around so he could sit.

"What's going on?" he asked again, still confused.

I was sure the last thing he expected was for me to be in here like this, wearing one tiny, thin garment.

I chewed the inside of my bottom lip, fixating myself on his eyes. His warm, glowing, dark eyes...

I licked my lips and rose to my feet beside the bed, not removing my eyes from his.

"Are you all right?" he asked, tilting his head, more confusion crossing his face.

I nodded, taking a step back, my heart pounding through my throat.

He started to speak again, but stopped himself as he scratched his head.

I could tell I was making him nervous.

He never liked being out of the loop.

I gripped the top hem of the towel in my fingers, not removing my eye contact with him.

After taking a few deep breaths, I pulled the towel from my body, my arms extending outward, and dropped it behind my back.

His breathing stalled as he refused to look at my body.

"What are you..." his voice trailed off as he began to fidget.

I glanced at the floor for a brief second, before bringing my eyes back to him...

He ran his hands over his face a few times, before blinking and looking back at me.

"I'm confused," he whispered, creasing his forehead.

"I know you are..."

"Can you tell me what's going on? This isn't like you."

I nodded, pulling my lip back through my teeth.

He waited for me to speak, but when I didn't, his forehead crinkled more.

I walked over to him, slowly, and reached out my hand.

"What?" he asked, staring at my palm.

"Take it."

He swallowed hard, reaching his left hand out and placing it on my palm.

I tugged on him slowly, motioning for him to come to me.

He hesitated for a few seconds, trying to still figure out the situation at hand.

"It's okay," I whispered to him, my voice as soothing as I could get it, with my thudding heart.

After staring at me for a few seconds, he slowly crawled on his knees, scooting toward the edge of the mattress.

I continued to walk backward, slowing my steps, as he followed me, stepping down onto the carpet.

The fireplace sparked and crackled behind us as he rose in his pajama pants, following me with a nervous expression.

"What's going on?" he asked, his own hands trembling in mine.

I held my breath, pulling him closer to me and placing both his warm hands on my naked hips.

"Uhhh," he said, his face showing nothing but confusion and fear, as well as lust... which he seemed to be trying to shake off.

I was intimidating him.

I took the final step toward him, pushing my bare chest into him.

He tried to raise his hands up in the air from me, in a _freeze _position, but I refused, gripping his hands on my hips and not allowing them to budge.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked, shaking his head as his breathing became shorter.

"Isn't it obvious?" I replied softly.

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine "not really... just confusing..."

I tilted my head, watching him become more nervous and tering.

"I'm not s-sure what you are ...uh..." his voice trailed off, as he took in my appearance.

"Yes?" I pressed, dipping my head to keep eye contact with him.

"Uh, I'm not sure what you're trying to do, here..."

I rose on my tiptoes, bringing my face inches from him.

He moved his face back so he could continue to look at me, but I shook my head as I slid my fingers up his hands, along his arms, across his shoulders, around the back of his neck, and not resting until I cradled his line between my hands, pulling his face down to mine.

I heard him gasp as I pressed my lips to him, his entire body locking tight.

I continued to kiss his frozen lips, forcing his mouth to part along mine. His hot, sweet breath crashed over me as his lips trembled against mine. I gripped the back of his hair with my fingers, pulling him to me as I deepened the kiss. I tilted my head, dragging my tongue out slowly, placing it on his bottom lip.

He started to pull away again, but then had some kind of ner battle with himself as he stuck in his bearings.

I felt his hands come along my body, grasping my wrists in his strong fingers.

I expected him to pull away from me.

I expected him to gasp for air, shaking his head as he backed off, trying to figure out what was going on with me.

So when he stood there, thinking in his head but allowing my mouth to take over his... I knew I was winning.

After a few minutes of my continued intentions, he broke loose, kissing me back.

It was slow at first, but the further I pushed it, the more he seemed to respond. I felt his tongue trace along my bottom lip, and I closed my eyes, ring the teasing he was giving me. I parted my lips wider, begging him for ance. He sighed, plunging his tongue into my mouth and jerking my body against him. His fingers gripped my hips with force as he pushed his face into mine roughly.

He was still battling with himself... but the lust was taking over.

I threw my arms tighter around him, begging for the final inch between us to dissolve.

I needed the contact.

He jerked my hips into him, his tongue and lips increasing their friction. I tangled my fingers in his hair as he trailed his hands along my body, from the small of my back, up my spine, around to my rib cage, and down to my hips. Then he gripped me tighter and lifted me up in the air, and instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth.

He twisted around and walked back to the bed, his tongue battling for declaration with mine. He tasted sweet, sweeter than I'd ever tasted before...

My eyes sealed tighter as his bottom lip dragged along mine in a sweet, endearing way... _God, he was an incredible kisser._

He leaned me back, placing me gently onto the mattress as he hovered over me. He pulled himself up a bit, taking a good glaceglance at me as I smiled up at him.

_Is this happening?_ was the expression on his face, a mixture of confusion and wanted desire. _Am I allowing this to happen?_

I nodded, trailing my cold fingers along his defined chest, up to his neck. I wound them around his skin, pulling him down slowly.

He stopped an inch from my lips, taking a deep breath.

"Wait, wait, wait a second!" he gasped, shaking his head. "Are we _doing _this?"

I nodded again, smiling to him as my heart rate slowed down...

"Are you ready for this? Because if not, we c-"

"No!" I said, covering his mouth gently. "I'm ready."

I was beginning to feel more comfortable around him... more secure.

Because maybe this _was _the right thing to do.

Maybe it _was _the right time for us.

He kissed me hard, his tongue entering my mouth at a rapid pace.

I moaned into him, bringing my legs around his waist as our hands began to explore each other.

Caressing... massaging... memorizing...

He sucked on my neck, his hot tongue sliding along my skin.

I shut my eyes, enjoying the sensation all too much.

My hands trailed between us, to the drawstring on his pants.

He pulled his face back, placing a few small, warm, delicious kisses on my bottom lip.

He helped me remove his pants, allowing them to slide down his legs with the help of my feet as I pushed them down.

He spread my legs apart, gently with his warm hands, and then he climbed above me but careful not to crush me with his weight.

He ran his fingers along my face, moving my hair out of my eyes then using the back of his hand to caress my cheek. "You know this changes everything, right?"

I held my breath for a few seconds, as the scent and taste of him soaked into my mouth and nose, where I wanted it to remain. "Yes."

He kissed my eyelids as my lashes fluttered shut, my hands trailing along his back.

"And you're..." his eyes met mine, warm and hooded, "...you're _sure _about this?"

I tilted my head, glancing at his eyes for what seemed like an eternity.

I didn't know _anything_. I didn't know what I was sure of... but I knew I didn't want to stop, for whatever reason... that has to count for something, right?

And tonight, I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't want him to be alone either.

I _wanted _to be together tonight...

...Even if it killed me tomorrow.

"Yes," I replied, my voice barely a whisper.

He smiled, his wet lips warm and glowing in the light of the orange fireplace.

Then he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, causing my heartbeat to rise all over again...

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

When I woke up in the morning, everything was hazy.

I rolled over onto my back, the sheets tangled around my legs in an ungodly fashion.

I groaned, rubbing my palms on my face.

Then my eyes popped open and I held my breath, glancing around the room.

I was alone.

I sat up on my elbows, squinting my eyes as I glanced around the empty walls.

The fireplace was still lit, crackling and popping away.

My eyes settled on the dust floating around in the air, from the window above my bed as the sun cast its way in.

_This wasn't how it was supposed to happen_, I thought to myself.

I knew I was in the wrong... _what did I do?_

I listened in the bathroom for any signs of movement, but there were none.

Then I moaned as I flopped back i the mattress, throwing the covers over my head with a groan.

_What the fuck happened last night? _

_How did everything change with me?_

_Why did I let myself get to that point... so vulnerable?_

_I _never _get that loose... I never break down my armor, not for _anyone_._

I laid there in silence, listening to my ragged breaths as my body tightened and clamped up.

"This is going to be a bad _fucking _day," I said oud to myself as I slapped the pillow on my head.

A _really _bad fucking day...

_Dammit, Edward._

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I woke up laying on my side, my hair spread out along the pillows.

I blinked a few times, glaring at the large windows, as the sun reflected from the snowy ground and blinded me through the glass.

I covered my eyes with my palm, glancing down at the fireplace. It was almost put out.

_What time did I even go to bed?_

I couldn't remember, with everything else that happened yesterday...

A _lot _happened yesterday... stuff I couldn't take back.

I rolled onto my back, noticing the bed empty to my left, and made up neatly on Jasper's side, with his dark pajama pants folded neatly on the end.

I held my breath, listening for any kind of movement in the bathroom or in the hallway.

Nothing... just silence.

I pinched the bridge between my nose with my fingers, as my blood pressure began to climb.

I suddenly felt nauseated. And panicked. And empty.

_Bella, what did you do?!_

I shook my head, rising up slowly to a sitting position, wrapping the covers around me for warmth.

I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to waking up.

Then I staggered to my feet, swaying a little.

My body felt like rusting metal.

Sore.

_Aching_.

I trailed into the bathroom, placing my ear on the door to Edward's bedroom, in hopes of hearing him moving.

Nothing.

I locked the door, and walked over to the mirror, taking a glance at my haystack on my head and shaking my head as I glanced into the mirror.

"This is going to be a fucking bad day," I said out loud to myself, as I turned on the cold water, splashing it on my face.

_Good going, Bella._

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I woke up to the sound of Emmett swinging open the bedroom door, plopping down in the bed beside me.

I flipped my body around, blinking my eyes to focus on him.

"Where were you last night?" he asked, throwing the covers over his body and kicking off his shoes.

I shrugged, not wanting to answer that question. "Where were _you_?"

"I was with Rosalie," he muttered, tucking the pillow under his neck the way he wanted it. "We didn't get much sleep..."

"Oh."

I rolled onto my back, staring at the popcorn ceiling above me.

It was silent for a few minutes, as things from last night began to enter my mind.

_How could I be so foolish?_

_So selfish?_

This wasn't like me... I was more chipper when I _wasn't _on vacation, it seems.

And a lot wiser too.

"Were you hanging out with Edward again last night?"

"Yeah," I nodded, throwing my fingers over my face and tugging my hair as I tried to shake off Edward's expressions and words last night. "we hung out pretty late."

"I don't get you two sometimes," he said, flipping his body around to a more comfortable position.

"How's that?" I asked nonchalantly as my body began to quiver.

"Girls and guys can't _be _just best friends, Alice. It doesn't work... eventually, there's always going to be a want, or some kind of need that gets thrusted between them."

I closed my eyes, trying to avoid the tears that were welling up.

"Ye-eah?" I asked, my voice shaking.

I never told Emmett what happened between Edward and me that night he consoled me. I just told him I was having a bad night, and he never asked for the details. Thank God.

"Yeah," he sighed "eventually... something's going to happen, whether it is for the good, or for the bad."

"How do you know?" I replied, my hands trembling as I pulled the covers over my suddenly-cold body.

"Because it's happened to me," he croaked. "...a long time ago. We lost our friendship over it, eventually... Things were never the same again."

I sealed my eyes shut, the tears escaping the corners and sliding down my face onto the pillow.

"You... you never know," I answered. "I think Edward and I have been friends long enough to make it work out for us... In one way or another."

He was quiet for a few minutes and I thought he fell asleep.

"True," he finally responded, nestling into the mattress. "...Let's hope so, right?"

"Right," I whispered, shaking my head.

This was going to be a bad fucking day, I could tell all ready.

_How stupid are you, Alice?!_

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I didn't sleep very well last night.

I couldn't, after everything was said and done.

I felt my heart rate pick up around three o'clock this morning, and it never died down again.

After everything happened, I tossed and turned, alone in my bed, flashes of yesterday cramming into my head.

_Why did you do that, Rose? _I asked myself as I continued to beat myself up for the hundredth time.

I've done some crazy, foolish, stupid shit in my life.

But nothing could have prepared me for the decision I was faced with yesterday.

The decision that didn't affect just _me_.

I sighed, rising to my feet and staggering to the bathroom.

I didn't know if I wanted to face anyone today, or if I _could _face them.

I didn't want to have them reading my expression, and figuring me out.

I didn't want to appear vulnerable, or confused to anyone... especially not _him_.

I brushed my teeth, staring at my empty expression into the mirror.

_You did the right thing_, I told myself. _You always do._

_You make a decision, and you stick by it, no matter what the cost._

_There are no mistakes_.

_Just what you do, and what you don't do._

Well_, I_ did something yesterday, and the mere thought of it shook me up.

I bent over the sink, spitting and rinsing out my mouth.

And when I sat back up and glanced at my torn expression, I frowned, feeling my heart try to escape from my chest.

It was wrong. I shouldn't have done it.

_What were you thinking, Rosalie?! _I scolded myself, jerking the brush through my tangled hair.

I listened as the fireplace crackled to a halt in the bedroom, and shut my eyes tight.

"This is going to be a bad fucking day," I said to myself, shuttering at the image of the people downstairs, waiting for me.

_Pull it together, Rose_, I thought shaking my frame around. _You made your grave, now you lie in it._

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I jogged down the stairs, skidding into the kitchen.

I found Tanya and Jacob leaning against the counter, laughing into their cereal bowls.

I smiled at them slightly, but couldn't glance in their eyes as I opened up the fridge.

_Jasper, what did you expect to happen?_ I repeated to myself for the billionth time. _You're the one who said okay!_

I thought I could shake it off, come downstairs, put on my mask for the day, and act like everything was normal.

But everything _wasn't _normal.

And I _wasn't _okay with what I allowed to happen.

I pulled out the milk, pouring me a tall glass as images of yesterday flashed through my mind.

_Bella's eyes, Bella's lips, Bella's tears, Bella's gasps, Bella's touch, Bella's trembles... Bella's kiss._

I bit my lip, closing my eyes as I shook my head.

This was all my fault. I let it get this far... I should have been more responsible with us.

Now I was in the deep end.

Without a fucking paddle, a life jacket, or a boat for that matter.

Because she still loved _him_, though she was with _me_... officially commited to _me_.

"Uh, Jazz?" I heard Jacob call from behind me, snapping me out of my daze.

I glanced around to him, to find his expression wide eyed and staring at me.

"Yeah?" I squeaked out, my hands trembling.

"Dude, you're overfilling your cup."

I glanced back over to the counter, to see the milk overflowing from the glass, all over the counter.

In a shocked reaction, I released the milk jug and it dropped to the ground, milk flying everywhere, all over the cabinets.

"Shit!" I cursed, squatting down and grabbing it.

Tanya hopped off the counter and grabbed some towels, helping me mop it up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said to her. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's okay," she replied, helping me rise to my feet. "Are you all right?"

I nodded, sitting the half-empty jug on the counter with the blue cap beside it, "yes. I'm fine."

"You sure, Dog?" Jacob asked, tilting his head in my direction.

I nodded, taking a deep breath as my frame trembled.

This was going to be a bad fucking day; I could sense it in the air.

_Great fucking work, Jazz._

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I waited until as long as humanly possible to get out of the bed.

Then, around one in the afternoon, I staggered into the bathroom, hissing as the cold floor touched my warm feet.

I hurried over to the toilet, relieving myself from all the tension I let build up in my bladder.

My head pounded, my mouth was dry, my stomach was in knots, and my heart felt like it was on fire.

I flushed the toilet and turned on the shower, as hot as it could go.

My body ached from all the twists and turns I did, and was desperate for any kind of relief I could give it.

I dropped my dark pajama pants and climbed in, sighing loudly as the hot water hit my body.

_What am I going to do now? _

_What could I possibly do to mend this?_

_To fix myself?_

_To fix _her_?_

Could _I fix anything I helped cause?_

_Or was it too late?_

I threw my head back, allowing the scorching water to cascade on my scalp and down my back and chest.

I scrubbed my face with my palms, whining internally over the disaster I allowed to unfold yesterday.

I could have stopped it. I know I could have.

I could have said something, done something... but I didn't.

Because I fucked up.

I lathered my scalp with my fingernails, growling out my frustrations.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" I spat, bending my head forward and allowing the water to rinse out the shampoo.

After I was all washed clean, I stood in the mist, shaking my head.

I almost wanted to _cry_, that's how frustrated I was. And I don't cry that often.

I've never let anything in my life be _this _confusing... not even when all that crap happened between Bella and me so many years ago.

Suddenly, I wished I could go back to that moment, and change my decision, and hers as well.

Or possibly even further... before I met her, so I could have a complete do over.

Or if we _did _have to split... maybe it could have been on better terms.

Then none of this could have happened.

Maybe she wouldn't be with Jasper; maybe things wouldn't be so fucked up between Alice and me... not to mention there wouldn't be any Tanya or Jacob drama.

I rested my forehead to the wall, gasping for air.

I didn't want to face anyone downstairs.

They'd all see right through me, I knew it.

I closed my eyes, begging for God to allow me to shrink to the size of one of these water droplets and sink down the drain, becoming lost forever.

After about ten minutes, when the water began to get cold and I realized He wasn't listening to me, I sighed and shut off handle.

"Guess you have to face the fucking world after all," I said to myself as I climbed out of the shower and wrapped the towel around me.

Right then, the door swung open, revealing Bella in an all-blue velvet jumpsuit, her hair with curls in it, and wide eyes.

We both froze.

"S-Sorry," she stammered, turning her face, "I didn't know you were in here."

"That's okay," I replied, turning to face the opposite direction, "I'm ...um, almost done."

I held my breath, as we both faced opposite walls and didn't move. I didn't want her to see my face. I didn't want her to figure me out.

And for some reason I couldn't figure out... she seemed just as uneasy around me.

Oh fuck.

This can't be good.

I shut my eyes, wanting to crumble on the floor.

"Are... um, you okay?" she asked heavily, not looking back at me.

I nodded, "yes. Are you?"

"Yes... I, um, I'm just gonna go use the other bathroom. See you downstairs."

"Okay, see you."

Once she closed the door behind her, I gasped, sitting unsteadily on the toilet lid.

_She was nervous_, I thought. _What was she hiding?  
_

I ran my hands through my hair, tugging lightly as I rose to my feet.

All I could picture was her and Jasper... together... kissing... touching... being intimate.

I threw on my boxers, jeans, and blue, button-down t-shirt.

After applying deodorant, Axe spray, and fixing my hair, I decided it was now or never.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Lunch was fucking brutal.

I'd never felt so suffocated.

It was as if there were eight of us squeezed into a tiny fucking closet with a large fucking elephant sitting on our heads.

The only conversation was between Tanya and Jacob, at the far end of the table.

They were discussing his need to constantly have his phone, since he was highly involved in the stock market and trades. He was a broker. A rich broker, at that.

Rosalie sat across from me, twirling her fork around her untouched macaroni-and-cheese, until the noodles were smashed into oblivion.

Emmett sat to my right, half asleep, his head in his hand as he forced down his hamburger. He looked exhausted.

Alice sat on the far end, never once meeting my eye or saying hello to me, fingering her ench fries.

Jasper sat beside Rosalie, glaring at his food on his plate with his hands on his lap. He looked awful. Stressed. Broken even.

I didn't want to think about it, or him with Bella, so I jerked my eyes away from him.

Then, to my far right, on the other side of Emmett, by Alice, was Bella.

She had her plate pushed to the middle of the table, also untouched, and was strumming her nails lightly next to her wine glass that was filled with ice water.

None of us seemed like we were even breathing.

And as I sat here, picking apart the top of my hamburger bun, I almost felt relieved.

Because as long as they were all focused on their inner-dramas, whatever they may be, no one was focused on me.

I took a quick peak over at Alice, and she dropped her eyes from me quick, glancing back at her plate and shoving a h fry in her mouth.

I pulled in my top lip, biting it hard as I stared at the table.

I felt sick.

I felt clammy.

I felt like a fucking asshole.

I shook my head, burying my face in my hands. I was disgusted with myself.

And I couldn't handle this shit anymore.

"Excuse me," I coughed as I rose to my feet, the same time Jasper did.

We froze, staring at each other, our eyes wide.

My heart began to clench, as I held him in my grasp with my glare.

_Why did he have her?_

_Why did this situation constantly get more fucked up?_

He was the first to look down, moving his chair back with his right hand so he could squeeze out. He walked into the kitchen, carrying his plate and scraping off the food.

They all sat perfectly still as I stood in my spot, watching him move around.

After he was done, he walked over and patted Jacob on the shoulder. "Thanks for lunch, Bro."

"Yeah, no problem."

And as Jasper walked away, my eyes trailed down to Jacob and Tanya... or more less their hands, which were intertwined.

_What the fuck is going on with this world?_

With that note, I departed from the table, catching quick glances from all four girls as I passed.

I ignored them, tossing my plate onto the counter, grabbing my jacket from the hanger, and walking outside.

It was freezing and snowing outside, as I headed toward the patio with the fireplace. I slid underneath the canopy part, dragging a chair with me to the fireplace. I dusted off the snow and sat down, burying my face in my left hand as I lit a cigarette.

And as I took my first inhale, staring at the flames, visions came crashing over me again.

I closed my eyes, trying to burn them out of my memory.

You're going to have to face this shit, I told myself. Stop being a fucking pussy and man up.

I scoffed, sitting back in the chair and bouncing my feet on the concrete.

I had no fucking _clue _how to handle this type of situation.

I'd never been _here _before.

I've never had my best friend confess her feelings for me.

I've never been in love with someone else.

I've never _not _had the answer... all the way until now.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I washed the dishes, staring out at Edward to my right, sitting on the patio.

He looked so heartbroken. Confused.

You're not the only one, I thought to myself as I scrubbed the frying pan.

I felt a touch on my back, a slight caress, and sighed.

"Hey Jazz," I whispered, closing my eyes.

Jasper walked beside me, turning on the water to help me rinse. "You doing okay?"

I nodded quickly, finding his eyes and giving him my best smile.

He nodded, turning his attention to the plate he was rinsing off.

I felt the tension between us, much different than yesterday.

And it was all my fault.

Because I was too stupid and didn't recognize the consequences for what they really were.

After a few lingering moments of awkward silence, he reached out, his wet hand finding my soapy one.

"Hey, Bella?"

I glanced up at him, finding his normally-warm eyes darker... It was painful to look at him, knowing what I started.

"Yes, Jasper?" I whispered.

His eyes glanced around my face, looking at features I wasn't aware of. Then, they unsteadily found mine again.

"Nothing," he replied softly. "We'll talk about it later."

"Are you sure?" I asked, my heart clenching for him, for us.

God, this was so awkward.

And not at all what I was wanting for us.

"Yes," he said, rinsing the last soapy cup.

He dried off his hands, before bringing his right hand to my cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb.

I heard the door behind him open, as Edward shuffled back inside.

I jerked my eyes back to Jasper, my boyfriend, and gave him my best smile.

"I'm here for you whenever, Jazz," I said convincingly.

He nodded, kissing my forehead and walking away.

I noticed Edward drop his jacket on the hook, and shuffle up the stairs, not bothering to glance at Alice.

That shocked me.

They were always around each other...

She shuffled in a few moments later, pulling out the trash bag from the roll out drawer in the cabinet.

"H-Hey Alice?" I said as I watched her tie it up.

"Yeah?" She didn't even look at me.

"Is... um, everything okay with you and Edward?"

Slowly, she stood back up from her crouched position, her hands clasping together as she closed her eyes"no. Not really."

I pursed my lips, feeling awful for her. "Hey Alice, can I ask why? What happened?"

She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her pointed black hair"because I made an awful mistake with him, and I can't take it back."

I squinted my eyes, trying to process the information. "What kind of mistake?"

She shrugged, shaking her head as she glanced at her shoes "the kind you can't take back, unfortunately."

I nodded, as we stood in silence for a few moments.

"You still, um," I cleared my throat. "but, you still love him, though, right?"

"Sure," she replied gently, placing her hands on her hips, "but I'm not _in _love with him. Not like I thought I was before."

My heart fell down into my stomach. "H-How do you mean? How can you just turn it off like that? That fast?"

She took a deep breath, throwing the heavy bag over her shoulder.

"Well, when you get caught up in the middle of something, and he confesses that you're not the girl for him, it kind of puts things into perspective for ya," she sneered at me as she began to walk out the kitchen.

Then she skidded on her heels, and turned to face me again. "Or," she continued, "if you fuck up twice... That _really _puts things into perspective for you."

I turned away the same time she did, clenching my eyes tight.

This wasn't helping anything. This just made me more confused.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I pulled a silent and stiffened Rosalie onto my lap as I leaned back in the chase. Jacob and Tanya had a movie blaring through the surround sound, _Forgetting Sarah Marshall._ They were leaning into each other, laughing their heads off as they held hands... held hands. Like a fucking high school couple.

And Jacob was a player. We all knew that.

_So what the fuck was he doing?!_

I sighed, adjusting Rose in my lap.

She trembled above me, her eyes bouncing around and refusing to focus on anything in particular.

I tilted my head as I stared at her face, running my hands along her long blonde hair, "what's wrong?"

She gasped, closing her eyes. She covered her face in her hands, leaning toward our laps.

"Rosalie," I whispered, pulling her closer to me, "tell me."

"I just... can't... stop... thinking... about... yesterday," she replied through breaths, shaking her head.

I pulled her closer to me, wrapping my arms tightly around hers. "About the accident?"

She nodded, her entire body in shivers.

I reached over the arm rest, grabbing a cover from the wicker basket and throwing it over us. I straightened out her legs so she could sit easier on me, and then began to massage her shoulders. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I cannot imagine how scary it was for you."

"I could have killed us all," she moaned in her palms. "I could have killed my _sister_. Everyone here that we all love! I knew I shouldn't have driven your Jeep, Emmett! I didn't know how to handle it, and I wrecked it, and I'm sorry."

I sighed, twisting her body around to where she was laying over me, chest to chest, "Rosalie, listen to me. You did everything right, okay? You were smart, you reacted smart... you handled it more perfectly than anyone around us could have. Including me."

She shook her head, sobbing along my right shoulder.

"I don't know how to tell you in any other way that I'm proud of you. I was _never _upset about the Jeep. Geico all ready came out and did the survey on it. It'll be fixed before this winter break is even up."

"But, I just," she cried, "I just... like you, so much. More than anyone, _ever_, and I'm so afraid you're gonna hate me over this."

"I could never hate you," I replied, squeezing her tight, "_ever_. I know we've only really gotten to know each other a few days ago, but my feelings for you grow by the second... and they aren't going to fade away because you reacted on instinct, Rose."

"You don't have to say that to make me feel better, Em. You can be honest with me."

"I am," I chuckled, bringing her trembling palms up to kiss them, "trust me, I am. I care about you, in more ways than you know. I've never had a meaningful conversation with anyone, like I did with you... It really meant a lot to me. _You _mean a lot to me. So stop worrying you're gorgeous little head about it!"

"But-" she started to say, but I squeezed her lips together with my thumb and index finger.

"No but's, dammit," I replied, laughing. "Now crawl your beautiful, tight ass up here and kiss me."

Her damp eyes sparkled as she laughed and did what she was told. And as she crushed her lips to mine, my stomach got butterflies.

Fucking girlie butterflies.

And I liked it.

Because I'm Emmett, and I can rock the fucking butterflies and make it cool.

It's who I am.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Around eight o'clock, I noticed it was too fucking quiet in the house.

The only sound was the wind passing along the cabin with brute force, and the latest Bond movie on the screen.

Tanya and Jacob were cuddled up on the love seat, taking a nap.

Rose and I were still parked on the chase, loving every second of each other's company.

Alice was sitting on the long couch, and Jasper was beside her. They looked like they were focusing on something intense, like a crossword puzzle of some sort.

I didn't even know they were friends.

Where the hell have I been?

"I think they'd make a cute couple," Rosalie whispered, as if she could hear my thoughts.

I furrowed my brows at her, and glanced back over at them.

Sure, they had _appeal_.

But he was with Bella... and I know that it took him a long time to get there.

And I think she has some kind of mad crush on Edward... which she'd never fucking admit to.

And that'd be really fucking bad if that became a love-square of some sorts.

So I glanced back down to the beautiful blonde beside me, kissing her forehead gently.

"I think we'd make a good couple," I said to her as I raised her chin to apply a slight kiss to her lips.

And when I noticed her eyes widen with joy, I thought I knew she agreed with me.

"Will you be my date for New Year's?" she asked with a wide smile.

"Date? Aren't we going to be here?"

She nodded, but I think we're gonna get everyone to dress up and throw a little party here. Bella and I, we have family friends that come over sometimes, maybe we could invite them... They're a few married couples, but they're cool... What do you say?"

I took a deep breath, pretending to ponder on it for a moment.

"Fine," I exhaled, "on one condition."

"What?" she giggled.

"I'll be your date for New Year's... if... you'll be my girlfriend for..... _ever_."

She gasped, throwing herself on top of me.

"I'd love to!" she shouted, hugging me tight as we laughed.

"Good! Because I'd _love _to be your date!"

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I walked through the pool room, down the side, toward the rock wall with the secret door that led into the grotto.

I took a glance around me, making sure no one was behind me, and opened it slowly, sneaking in and closing it behind me.

I turned the jacuzzi on high and sat my beer next to it.

I really needed a fucking place to just sit and think.

I needed to clear this head of mine and come to a rational decision.

It took me a good five minute to climb in, being that it was so hot.

Once I settled though, I leaned back and stared at the stones surrounding the room in the dim green and yellow lights.

It took a lot of work to put all those stones up, thanks to Carlisle, Phil and myself.

But it was pretty damn cool to see the end results.

I splashed my face with the hot water, running my wet fingers through my spiky hair.

Then I closed my eyes, ening to the jets come to life as I thought about my life.

Or the girls in my life... like Bella, and Alice, and Tanya.

And the mistakes I made along with it... like cheating, and hooking up, and making wrong decisions.

I _knew _I shouldn't have cheated on Bella. Even while I was doing it.

Sure, I was drunk, but that didn't excuse any of it. It was still wrong, any way you look at it.

It was at _Charlie's _old house, for Christ's sake.

It was with _Tanya_... a girl who tried so hard to be Bella's friend in high school.

It was only a few months until graduation.

_Why couldn't I have just ignored the adults and made my decisions for myself? _

_Why couldn't I just shake it off, and prove to myself how much my girl meant to me?_

I groaned, rubbing my face hard.

It was too fucking late to do anything about it now.

I was too late.

I covered my face, refusing to accept any apologies or negotiations I tried to make myself.

This was my fault.

All of it.

I heard the door slide open and exhaled. "I'm not in the mood for company," I growled under my palms.

"Okay, I can go."

My eyes popped open to find Bella, in a navy blue, 2-piece bikini. God she looked good.

I sat up, sliding to the other side, toward her.

"No, no," I stammered, motioning for her to stop, "please, don't."

She stared at me for a few minutes, then closed the door and dropped her towel next to mine.

She started to stick one foot in, but yanked it back really fast.

"Ouch," she hissed, grasping her foot with her hand.

I slid next to her, grabbing her foot between my palms. Just this simple touch broke my body into tiny pieces.

The electric current flew through us, something that never happened with the other girls... not with Tanya, or Alice, or with anyone else I had been with.

"It helps if you rub it as you climb in," I whispered to her.

She raised her ebrow as she sat down, refusing to put any part of her body in.

I smiled the best smile atld muster, pulling her left leg out to me, "here, I'll do it."

She trembled as I massaged her foot, dipping it slowly into the tub.

She held her breath, but sighed as I began to caress up, along her calf as I continued to pull it in.

Once she could sit outside and have that leg up to her knee, I began working on the other foot. Slowly.

"You looked so distraught today," she whispered to me with a sigh.

I closed my eyes "yeah, I had a lot on my mind."

"Me too."

I looked up at her, our eyes locking. "Really?"

She nodded slowly.

Once her other leg was dropped, I slowly climbed to my knees on the seat in the tub, between her legs.

She gasped as I grabbed her hips, and we both froze as soon as she placed her hands on my shoulders.

After a few untimely seconds, I began to bring her inside, slow at first as I caressed her inner thighs.

She squinted her eyes a bit as I moved her with me, the heat beginning to get stronger.

"Are you okay?" I whispered to her, slowing down.

She nodded, closing her eyes tight.

I lowered her all the way until she was straddling my legs, her back pinned up against the stone wall.

Once she was adjusted, I slowly scooted back and released her to sit as I moved back to my side of the wall.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, allowing the water to bounce around our skin as the current flew around us, swirling around in a whirlpool mixture.

She reached over and grabbed my beer from me, taking a long sip of it.

I smiled as she pulled it away, noticing a bit of the wet on her bottom lip.

I wanted to lick it off.

God I loved her so much.

Still.

I looked away, focusing my eyes on my crinkled fingertips.

Waterlogged.

But there was no way in hell I was leaving her presence.

Ever.

"Hey, do you know what I was thinking?" she whispered.

I raised my eyebrows, looking up to meet her again, "what's that?"

She took a deep breath, running her hands along her arms with the warm water. "I was thinking about our first time."

I snickered, shaking my head and looking down, "or lack there of, right?"

"No... I don't look at it like that."

I scrunched my forehead, looking at her piercing golden eyes again. "I thought you did... that's why, you know, you told me it didn't count."

"I said that because I was upset, Edward."

I tilted my head at her, adding this onto my stack of confusion.

"Well," she explained, taking another sip of my beer, "it was very much real to me..."

I nodded, looking down at her collarbone. She had on her necklace.

Just as I did.

"Me too," I whispered, struggling of air.

I didn't know she was wearing it again. I know she didn't have it on before...

"I wish we could have... finished all the way..." she said, letting out a big breath, "it's weird, being back in that bedroom... I sleep in there every night, and suddenly, all those memories from it came crashing over me last night... and I almost felt heart ache because I wanted to go back there so bad."

"I didn't want to hurt you though," I replied after a minute of silence. "It was hurting too much for you, so it was best we stopped."

"I know," she nodded, swallowing hard, "but I still count you as my first, Edward. It was on my birthday, and it was with my true love... I'd never change it for anything. Regardless of if we never got to try again."

I smiled at her dimly, not able to look at her in the eyes at the moment, "I wish we could have finished, too."

"Yeah," she exhaled, watching me light my cigarette, "...so, tell me, how many girls have you been with?"

I closed my eyes, taking a big puff.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked, letting the smoke out.

She nodded, her eyes on my lips.

I licked them, watching her eyes part slightly.

"Six," I replied honestly. "Six, counting you."

She nodded, looking a little shocked as she met my eyes again. "I thought it'd be more than that... from all the rumors and stuff."

"Don't believe everything you hear," I replied.

She nodded, a smile rising on her face.

"So?" I said, raising my left eyebrow, "...your turn."

She closed her eyes, her cheeks turning my favorite shade of pink, "three, counting you."

"Three?" I teased, running my fingers through my hair. "Not what I expected, but it settles for you."

"What did you expect?" she giggled, curling her knees up to her chest.

"Two, I think."

"Who? You and Jasper?"

I nodded.

"No. I've never had sex with Jasper."

I tilted my head "but I thou-"

"No" she shook her head as she cleared her throat "just you, and a guy named Tyler, who I dated on and off during my first year of college, and a guy named James, who I wish more than ever I could take back."

I thought for a few seconds, rubbing my jaw with my fingers. "So... how's Jasper dealing with that?"

She shrugged, "I'm, um, not really sure."

I pursed my lips, staring at her necklace for a good five minutes.

"Do you love him?" I finally asked, my stomach twisting in knots.

"No," she answered, her voice gently"not like that."

"Perhaps, one day?"

"No. I don't think so. What about you and Alice?"

I shook my head with a frown "no... not more than my best friend. She'll always be that."

"Edward, I really do forgive you... for the whole Tanya thing. All of it. I want you to know that."

I nodded, my head swimming in different directions, "I forgive you and Jacob too. Honestly."

"Good," she beamed, "and... if that's what is stopping you from moving on, please don't let it."

I found her eyes again, and she gasped at our contact.

"It's not what stopped me, Bella. Yes, it sucked and I was pissed about it and became sort of a dick to you over it... but that's not why I won't move on from you."

She tilted her head in the opposite direction as me, penetrating me with her stare. "Oh. Then why, Edward?"

We sat there for about six minutes in pure silence, staring at each other intensely.

Then I broke our gaze, taking the final sip of my beer. "Because I still love you," I said as I sat it down on the edge.

She gasped, but I could almost hear her heart pounding from here.

I met her eyes again, to find them broken, and confused.

"You don't have to say it back," I said with an awkward chuckle, "I just ...wanted you to know how _I _felt."

She nodded, her right hand covering her chest.

I began to fidget under her silence, wondering if I just made it worse for us.

Then she slowly reached out her hand for me, which I took.

I let her pull me toward her, and once I became still between her legs, with my knees on the ground and my head barely above the water, she gave me the strongest hug ever.

"I still love you too," she whispered, hugging me tightly in her grasp.

I ran my hands along her spine, as both of our hearts ached but blended together with our chest-to-chest contact.

I buried my eyes into her damp, right shoulder as she ran her fingers through my wet hair.

"This is so complicated," she whispered through sobs.

I nodded, trying not to let the emotions get the best of me too, "I know."

"And I don't understand any of it," she cried, pressing the right side of her cheek to mine.

"I don't either," I chocked out, gripping her skin tighter with my fingers.

"But I _do _know that I love you," she said with a nod after a few minutes.

"I love you too, Bella," I said, for the first time, officially.

"With all my heart," she sobbed.

I nodded, "me too, Angel."

We held each other for the longest time, until we almost locked together.

I didn't want to let her go.

I didn't want to face the real world.

I didn't want her to head back to Jasper.

Because I didn't want her to go to anyone else but me.

After about an hour, when we were so water-logged that we could become sick, I lifted her out of the tub and followed behind, wrapping a towel around her body tight and rubbing her skin.

"What do we do now?" I asked, trembling in the cold.

She bent down and grabbed my towel for me, winding it around my waist.

"I don't know," she sobbed, "I don't want to hurt him."

"I know. I don't want to hurt anyone, either."

She nodded, taking a deep breath, "this is going to be really hard... for all of us."

"Yes, I know."

"But I'm going to tell him," she said, sniffling as she looked back up at me. "I have to. It's for the best."

I tensed up, not removing my eyes from hers. "Are you sure that's such a good idea? I mean, we are all here for another two weeks."

"I know," she replied, shaking her head. "I know that, Edward. But I have to tell him that I still love you, and I cannot be with him. This suspense is _killing _me."

"Okay," I whispered, bringing her into my chest so I could wrap my arms around her, "I'll be around, if you need me."

She nodded, hugging me back.

Again, we didn't let go for a long time.

Possibly fifteen minutes, since my hair became dry and her ends were dry.

Then we both took a deep breath and separated our hands on each other's biceps as we stepped back.

"I'm telling him _everything_, Edward. Tomorrow. That way there's no confusion."

"Hey," I swallowed, taking another nod as I watched her walk toward the door. "This is going to piss a lot of people off."

"I know," she said, opening the door, "but I don't regret what happened last night, not even for a second."

I smiled, blinking slowly, "I don't either... I could _never _regret you, Bella."

Her eyes sparkled bright, as she tilted her head at me. Then her smile grew more sincere "I'm counting on it."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The emptiness I felt as we departed ways was devastating.

I went straight to my room, collapsing onto my bed.

I scattered all the pillows around as I scooted myself up on the mattress, until I was all the way on my stomach.

I listened for sounds of them arguing, but there wasn't any.

Then I remembered her telling me she'd tell him tomorrow...

And then it'd all unfold.

But for now, I could close my eyes and bury my face into the sheets and remember every little detail like it was only a few seconds ago.

Sure, it wasn't how I would have planned it out, if I had the chance to think about it.

But it was definitely special, because it meant something.

Regardless of everything else, of all the fighting, the confusion, the other relationships, and all of the drama...

I loved her.

And she loved me.

And I could wait forever for her, now that I knew that fact.

...It's a great fucking day.

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 06! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!**

**  
-- Yes, all rooms do have fireplaces in them, check the picture in my profile called "Bedrooms" ;)**

**  
-- All unanswered questions you may have regarding the night before, why people were feeling that way, so on so forth will be answered in later chapters.  
-- Never think the complicated parts are over. Not with my story. **

**  
-- Another poll question I'd like you to answer at the bottom of your review: Their New Year's Eve party is coming around the corner...  
what song and couple would you like to dance to?? Give me some requests!**

**  
Reviews are better than jacuzzi time with Edward. :D**


	7. Hidden Revelations

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for including me into _trio _as a _twin_! * giggles * I love you! And **To my Readers **: You're the best with the feedback!! Keep it up!! _* hug *_  
** Thank you so much to all of you for the reviews, the suggestions, please note that I am going to take them all into consideration!  
Don't forget to include your song requests/couple requests for the New Year's party coming up in the chapter after next!

* * *

**A/N**: If you want to get the full effect for the last two chapters, it's highly recommended that you re-read Chapter Five, then read this chapter (Chapter 7) and then read Chapter Six. That way, things are in chronological order and any confusion you may have will definitely be cleared up. You really get the whole picture.  
The reason I didn't post this chapter first was because it would ruin the guessing from Chapter Six. There had to be some suspense. So this is a filler chapter to fix all the confusion.

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**Chapter Seven: "How did Alice mess up two times? What was Jasper so worried about?" "Was it Bella and Edward, Bella and Jasper, Jasper and Alice, or Alice and Edward"?**

**So now you know Rosalie was worried about the accident still, so that puts them out. And it wasn't Jacob or Tanya either. **

**  
So I decided to do the missing POV's from Alice, Jasper, and Bella. [NO WORRIES, MORE T, J, R, AND Em POV's coming soon!!]  
This chapter is a fill-in on all the missing parts of the last chapter, picking up from the end of the night of the accident. [I thought it'd be unique to write it like this!]**

**NOTE: the last scene has many lemon-y additions, being that I can explain more in detail now that the identities are revealed... AS REQUESTED BY YOU!!! :D  
Because I try to treat my readers like I am a Burger King restaurant: **_**sometimes**_**, you can have it your way. ;)**

**NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW **

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**I can't be held responsible for anything that I ...say to you tonight.  
And I won't be held responsible... for anything that I... want to do to you.  
Expect the unexpected, can tell you've been neglected and you... are feeling like,  
"This could be the night that everything goes right, it feels so perfect...  
and we're all we want to hear right now.  
This could be the night... if you're so perfect...  
I just hope I'm not oblivious."**_

_**Burn Season, "Perfect"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter Seven: Hidden Revelations**

**AlicePOV**

Everyone was enjoying the dinner. We were talking about the accident from earlier, movies, sports, everything! It was really refreshing to notice that we could all get along, without ripping someone's hair out -- most likely Tanya's -- or fighting with our exes. Jacob and Tanya were next to each other joking, and so were Emmett and Rosalie. Jasper and Bella sat across from Edward and I, holding hands and looking adorable. But I would notice every once in awhile, while we were all laughing, that Jasper would glance over at me with that sparkle in his eye, and just smile at me like he'd known me for years.

It was really quite pleasant! His smile seemed so warm... so inviting... so pure. I hadn't seen a smile like _that _in a long time, and it truly warmed my heart.

Toward the end of the dinner, I did notice Edward's expression turn into some sort of an enigma. He went from joking and laughing and teasing about being all heroic earlier, to looking completely glum and confused. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with him! One second he was drinking his wine, laughing at one of Jasper's jokes, and the next second he had his forehead in his right hand, and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. It was as if he came to some kind of revelation.

I sighed, reaching my hand up and rubbing his back. Edward twitched and glanced over at me, like he had been startled. He gave me an apologetic sour glance, before staring back at his wine glass. I raised my left eyebrow and cleared my throat to get his attention. He glanced back over to me, ignoring everyone's conversations around us, and frowned. I mouthed, "Do you want to go talk?" He gave me a slight, silent nod. I told Emmett and Rosalie a quick thanks for us, and reached out my hand for him, which he took. I watched Bella's head rise up when he rose to his feet, and he gave her a soft smile. She returned it, before Jasper started whispering in her ear, making her laugh out loud. I tugged on his hand and took him upstairs, to the mini-bar and game room. He slammed his fist into the wooden wall, his breathing getting suddenly heavier. I remained quiet, walking over and sitting on top of the pool table, waiting for him to start venting, which I knew he would.

And like clock work, not even a minute later, his rant began. "I just don't fucking get it!" he shouted, his arms outstretched. "Please explain all of this to me! I mean," he stopped talking so he could bring his hands to his chest, toward his heart. "Why do I _feel _this way, Alice? This isn't _like _me! This isn't what I _do_. Why is this all confusing?"

I took a deep breath, not having a clue what he was referring to, "I'm... not... _sure_?"

He moaned, throwing his head back and looking at the ceiling.

"Edward, why don't you try to explain what you're thinking, so I don't sit here looking dumber than I already do?"

"_Her_!" he shouted, pointing on the floor of the second story, downstairs, toward the dining room that is caddy-cored below us. "What _is _this?!"

"I'm still lost," I said. "...Maybe you could be more specific? What _about _her?"

"She just..._Errr_!" he growled, spinning to look at the wall behind him. "She just has this way of making me so... unnerved and confused. She's done this since we were kids!"

"Okay..." I said, scratching my head, "we're still not getting anywhere."

"Bella!" he gasped, spinning back on his heels to face me again. "Why is she _doing _this to me?"

I hopped off the table, walking slowly toward him with my hands out in front of me.

"Edward..." I began, slowly grabbing his forearms. "What did Bella do?"

He sighed, looking at me like he just lost his puppy, "I don't know."

"Edward," I said again, stepping closer to him, "I love you. You know that... but because I'm your best friend, you also know I'm not going to lie to you..."

"Yes."

"You _need _to move on from her. All bullshit aside, and I'm not telling you this only because I want to be with you... it's for your own _good_. This isn't healthy."

He nodded, looking down at his shoes.

I took my index finger and lifted his chin, so he'd look at me. "It's been four years. You've both cheated. You've both caused pain on each other... I know you care for her as a person, and you always will. And she will for you too... but you don't even _know _Bella anymore. You have no _idea _what she's learned, what she's done, what she's said... She could be totally different from the _high school _Bella. Most of us are, you know? Now, I'm not saying she's a bad person, because I don't believe that. But I am saying that she's _different_, and it's very clear to see, once you step out of the bubbled images she's created around herself."

He gave another nod, frowning at me. "She gave you a lap dance, Edward. She wears _heels_. She's more outgoing. She wears revealing bathing suits... she's grown up, Edward. She's matured. She came into her own... And I think you're still expecting her to be that sweet, innocent, virginal Bella that depended on you for her only source of happiness, like you were the damn _sun_. And now you've seen that she has a life _without _you... and I think that's what bothers you."

He scoffed, shaking his head, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

I bent down, to look him in the eye again, "Are you just saying that?"

"No," he shook his head again, "you are right, Alice. Bella's changed. She's not the girl that I spent four years loving and trying to place my world around... She's _not _the same."

We stood there in silence for a few moments. Then he looked back to his shoes, still upset.

"Do you want another drink?" I asked, pointing in the direction of the mini-bar behind us.

"Yeah," he exhaled, walking toward it, "I'll make. What do you want?"

"I don't care," I replied. "And I'll make a deal with you. You mix the drinks, I rack the balls."

"Deal."

I jogged over to the pool table, suddenly feeling excited that I get to spend time with him, like we used to do. "This is fun!" I exclaimed as I set and racked. He laughed as I attempted to break the balls. I never get them in. Sure, I can bounce the cue ball over an opponent's, and I can make some wicked curve scores. But breaking... not my specialty. "Why do you _always _make fun of me?" I asked, hand on hip as he came over to me with two cocktail glasses full of something clear.

"Because it's too easy," he replied with a cocky smirk. We took a sip at the same time, and I coughed at my glass while he continued swallowing.

"Oh my god!"

"It's good for you, drink it up."

I squished my face together as I sniffed it, "What the hell _is _this?"

He chuckled, taking another sip, "One tablespoon of honey, dash of 7-up, and 190-proof Everclear, shaken on ice with a hint of lime."

I gave him a disgusted look as I held the glass away, "You are high if you think I'm going to be drinking this! Do you remember the last time Emmett got me drunk off of this?!"

"Yeah he said he saw you topless!" he giggled, shaking his head. "I bet that was a pretty funny night."

"Yeah I _was _topless, because I was plastered off of one glass. No thanks, take it away." He gave me his favorite, best puppy dog face. "No!" I giggled, looking away from him, "I'm not giving in."

He walked over to me, curling out his bottom lip and blinking, "Pweaze?"

"Edward! No!"

"Pwetty Pweaze?"

I closed my eyes, holding my chin up and shaking my head.

"Pwetty pweaze with cherry on top, and I promise to teach you how to break, like you've asked me to do for months?"

I groaned, slumping my shoulders but not opening my eyes, "Fine. I'll _sip _on it."

"Thanks Al!" he exclaimed, suddenly cheery for the first time in hours.

"Yeah, yeah, now get over here and show me how to be a big tough man who can break balls."

"Sip first," he said, pointing to my untouched glass.

I growled and took a baby sip.

"Thank you," he replied, heading to me and pushing the balls back in the center. "Now, the first key of breaking," he said as he put the balls back in the rectangle, "is you have to make the balls nice and tight. Stick these three fingers on the bottom of the rack, and this pushes all the balls forward, making them snug."

I giggled, covering my mouth as I tried to focus.

"What?" he asked, his smile turning up on one side.

"Nothing. Just... _snug balls_."

He laughed, shaking his head, "Can you please try and focus?"

"Yes," I giggled again, clearing my throat.

"Alright, now you just slide the rack up and down, back and forth until it becomes tight on your fingers an-"

I lost it. I began to crack up, covering my face and walking away.

"Alice!" he groaned, trying to hold back a laugh himself, "stop it!"

"Edward, do you _hear _yourself? And I quote, 'until it becomes tight on your fingers,'" I giggled, "sliding up down, back forth?"

He busted up, hands on hips as he walked away, "Sorry I didn't realize."

We laughed in unison for a few seconds, shaking our heads in amusement. Then he clapped his hands and pointed his index finger from me to the glass. "Time for a sip."

I pouted as I picked it up, taking another sip, about half the size as his, "Get back over here and try not to sound so sexual this time." He smirked and walked back over, setting his rack how he wanted it before carefully pulling the plastic away. Then I followed him around to the other side of the table, where the white ball was.

"Alright," he motioned with his left hand for me, "come over here, in front of me."

"Yes sir," I replied, bouncing in front of him, between his chest and the pool table, as I stared at the evil balls waiting for me to humiliate myself.

He sighed as he grabbed the stick, placing it in front of my face as he put his right hand on my lower stomach, pushing me backward, my butt against his..._body_. I held my breath at the contact, trying not to let it take me to the dark side of my brain. He held the pool stick with his left hand, waiting for me to take it. I did, still not breathing.

"Now, what you want to do is," he said as he held the stick with me, motioning for me to lean forward with him, "line up the pool stick to the best of your advantage. You can glide the ball over here, and take it at a side angle, or..." he continued, gliding our bodies and the ball to the left side, "you can take it from here..." then he centered us back in the middle, "or you can just shoot."

I nodded, trying not to pass out from not breathing. He pushed me against him and bent us over further, and I closed my eyes as his chest leaned over my back, and his hot breath was on my neck. I slid my right leg between his legs, and my left leg along his left foot. I felt him rest his chin on the back of my right shoulder, as his left hand picked mine up in his. He held the stick to our right, and he wrapped my arm and his around to it. He showed me how to position my fingers like his, where he laid his last three fingers down on the felt table, his index finger curling over the stick, and his right thumb under it, lining it up. I felt his heart beating on my back, and it sent me involuntarily cold chills when I began to focus on it. Edward cleared his throat, gliding the stick back and forth between our sets of fingers. Without realizing it, I was pushing against him more, enjoying the feel of our bodies.

"Now what you want to do is," he whispered, his voice too sexy for my concentration to hold, "pretend there is an imaginary dot on the back of this cue ball. Then, you can draw a dotted line toward the set of balls, in the way you'd imagine hitting them. Try to find a weak spot in the formation, possibly where a ball has a wider gap. Do you see that three ball there, to the left of the center?"

I nodded, swallowing hard and breathing heavily through my nose.

"That's our trigger."

"Okay," I whispered, the smell of him crashing over me.

His right hand trailed over mine on the back end of the stick, tightening my fingers around it for a firmer grasp, "Treat the stick like a _man_, Alice. We don't like it gentle."

I closed my eyes and drew my bottom lip in, trying not to lose control, "...Thanks for the tip."

"No problem. So..." he drew the stick back, gliding it between our fingers again, "do you see your imaginary line?"

"Y-Yes."

"Alright," his breath got hotter against me as he drew the stick back, lining it up, "it's all on you."

He kept his left hand on the felt table with mine, helping me center it, but once his right hand released the heavy end of the stick, I couldn't concentrate. My hands began to tremble, and the stick swayed around, hitting along the inner walls of my fingers. "Easy, easy," he whispered, gripping the heavy end back. "Wait, don't go yet."

I sighed, shaking my head as I stared at the table, trying to regain my focus. _He doesn't see you like this, he doesn't see you like this, he doesn't see you like this... _His left hand removed from the thin end of the stick and he grabbed my hips in his hands, centering me more with the table. Then he exhaled, bringing his hands back up where they were, around the stick.

"What am I doing wrong?" I asked, my voice too light.

"It's all in the motions," he replied, gliding the stick between our fingers as his body pressed up against my ass, "...do you feel that?"

I gasped, nodding too quickly. I felt a _lot _of things right now, internally and externally. His voice remained light, scratchy, sexy. "Just... _feel _the motions... _feel _the motions..."

My breathing picked up as I watched the stick foolishly glide with ease between my fingers, then his, then mine, then his... _Who knew pool could be a turn on?_

"Do you see how easy it is?"

"Yes."

"Alright," he removed his hands again, making me sigh, "now pull back hard, try to remember that glide we were just doing, and push forward, with your whole arm, not just your hand."

I nodded, holding my breath. I pulled it back, trembling for a second, but I regained myself. "Here I go," I whispered unsteadily. Then I closed my eyes and pushed hard with my whole arm, listening to the crack and shuffle of the balls after I made contact. I heard two go in at different spots, and opened my eyes in shock. The balls were pretty scattered, not all clustered and barely moved, like normal.

"Not bad!" he said, taking a step back and clapping his hands like a proud father.

I giggled and jumped up and down, clapping my hands at double the speed of his. "Yes! I did it!"

"Yep! And since you got one stripe and one solid, you get to choose."

"Stripes! Definitely stripes!"

"Stripes it is," he replied adorably as he handed me my drink, and brought his glass to his lips. I mimicked his actions, smiles on our faces as we sipped for the same amount of time, me trying to ignore the burn of it sliding down my throat. He snickered as he set the glass down, shaking his head.

"What are you giggling about?" I said, tilting my head. "I think that was a good shot!"

"It was," he laughed, licking his lips, "...I just realized something."

"What's that?"

He bit his lip, his green eyes melting my dark ones. "Well... I just helped pop your cherry."

I felt myself blush as I inhaled deep, not removing our eye contact.

"Edward Anthony Cullen!" I said, slapping his chest playfully as he pushed away.

He bounced back, curling his arms over his chest protectively, "My bad, my bad, too easy to resist."

"Well try harder!" I replied, my face still bashful.

As we played, our flirty banter continuing like we used to do, I kept imagining my lines as he taught, and I realized my game was severely _improving_. We played seven more games, me winning three and him winning four. I had to win this last one, so we were at least even. Now there were just two balls on the table, and the eight ball. And our glasses were refilled again, and half gone.

So were we.

I leaned over on the opposite side of the table from him, showing him my yellow laced bra that was peaking on the top. He closed his eyes, shaking his head and relaxing his hands, "Stop it!"

"No!" I giggled, leaning over on my elbows to make it more apparent, "we all know Edward Cullen _cannot _resist boob shots, and I'm not letting you win this game!"

"You're not playing fair, either!"

"Oooh, I think it's plenty fair," I replied, faux-seductively, moving the right side of my shirt off my shoulder.

"Alice," he growled, sliding the stick between his fingers furiously.

I licked my lips, eying him down, "Don't miss best friend. Remember, it's all in the motions..."

His eyes met mine and I gave him my best flirty smile, batting my lashes. "Just... feel the motions," I whispered to him. "...can you _feel _it?"

He chuckled, zoning in on the cue ball. "Yes, I'm feeling it."

"Good boy."

He snickered and drew his arm back, snapping it and making the shot easily. I stamped my foot on the ground, throwing my hands on my hips after I jerked up my shirt. "All that for nothing!"

"Oh no, I mean if you want to flash me then you're more than welcome to, but you can't underestimate my concentration."

I eyed him down as he cockily walked around the table, winking as he took a drink. "It's still your turn," I hissed, knowing he wins if he sinks the eight ball.

"I know," he exhaled, "I'm just enjoying this moment. Breathe it in, Alice... the smell of sweet victory is rising in the air."

"Yeah? Well, so is the smell of blood, once I punch you in the _nose _for being _arrogant_."

He threw his head back in laughter, rubbing his stomach and chest. I held my breath as I watched him, before snapping my eyes back to the floor, tapping my foot. He held his position, watching my foot tap. "Impatient, are we?"

"Yes! Go!"

"What's the rush? Got a hot date?" he joked.

I glared at him, my hands on my hips again, "No but if you don't go, you may cause me to do something I might regret later."

"Like what?" he asked, smile on his face as his brows scrunched together.

I watched him lick his lips, and felt my body subconsciously heading toward him. Once I noticed this, I turned away, and hopped on the pool table, in an empty space free of the two balls left on the table.

He giggled, walking over toward the balls, "is your _ass _trying to create a distraction now?"

I nodded, downing the rest of my strong ass drink like it was water.

"Alright, watch this." He hit the cue ball hard, hitting the right side of the table, then bouncing off my hip bone, and colliding it into the eight ball, causing it to enter the right corner pocket. He threw his fist in the air with his victory, but I just eyed him down.

"You suck."

"No I don't!" he chuckled, placing his stick along the wall rack, "you started this!"

"But _I _wanted to win!" I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well then you should have played better!"

"Grr!" I growled at him, throwing the triangle at his chest, which he dodged easily, "I hate you!"

"No you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Noooo you don't..."

He walked over in front of me, and I raised my right foot, in attempt to hit him in the soft spot, which he blocked too. "No sense in getting feisty!" he laughed, his hands covering his body.

"Then don't get in front of me when I'm angry!"

"Aww, is the poor pixie angry now?" he teased, curling his bottom lip out as he walked toward me.

"I really do hate you."

"You love me."

"Not today," I replied, glaring away from him, toward the wall.

"No, you should _always _love me!"

I tried to push him back when he came too close, but he took that as a playful gesture, and came at me stronger, laughing as his tongue bounced around, his white teeth glistening. I growled at him again, pushing away with more force. Then I was suddenly pinned on my back on the felt table, with his fingers firmly around my wrists, his body over mine, and his chest to my stomach. "Edward, don't!" I squirmed, knowing he was going to tickle me once he put both my wrists in his left hand. It was common Edward-Alice night back at our apartment. I squirmed and laughed and tried to fight him off, but as always, none of my attempts work. So I spent the next two minutes laughing like an idiot and squirming around the table. "Edward! I'm going to get a carpet burn!"

"No you're not!"

"Yes! Quit it!"

"This is fun!" he laughed, poking my sides along my ribs, "you're not even putting up much a fight!"

"Yes I am, you bastard!"

That caused him to laugh more, his annoying tickling going stronger. After a few more minutes, he grew tired, but still chuckling as he laid his forehead on my stomach, trying to catch his breath. I laid there motionless, furious but unable to hide my smile, "We are _so _not friends right now."

He popped his head up from my body, his eyes glistening, "We'll always be friends, Al. No matter what."

"Oh yeah?" I asked, rising up to my elbows. "How are you sure?"

"It's in the stars," he replied, "like some kind of fate shit or something."

He pulled me up the rest of the way, but didn't remove himself from standing between my legs. And then the chemistry between us crashed all over my body, warm and fuzzy. He chuckled, shaking his head as his hands met the pool table, on either side of my legs, "I remember when we were fourteen and you told me you got your first period!"

I giggled and looked down in embarrassment, "Yeah it happened at your house, and I thought I was dying, so I told you and you started laughing and told me what it was, and then I started crying and -"

He cut me off, "and then I had to calm you down and take you to the drugstore because you were too ashamed to tell our moms! God, so funny!"

"It's no worse than when we were, like, thirteen, and having a sleepover and I woke up in the middle of the night and caught you... doing _that _beside me!"

He laughed, his eyes almost in tears, "Sorry! But in my defense, we _were _watching that movie with Alicia Silverstone, _The Crush_! Man she was so hot, even as a psycho chick! I thought I could be quiet and not move enough to wake you!"

"Well, you did!"

We laughed at our old memories for a few moments, and then it suddenly got too quiet. We stared at each other for a few moments, smiles still on our faces as the warm swept over me again. I swallowed and wound my legs around him, pulling him closer to me. I watched as his chest tensed up, but I didn't buckle. His eyes fell on mine as I slid my hands up his chest, and around his neck.

_Why did we have to be drinking when this happens?_ I thought to myself, _I'm sure it doesn't make me look the best_.

I pulled his face down to mine, and felt his breathing stop. "Alice..." his voice warned as it remained soft, his face an inch from mine.

"Please relax," I whispered back, providing my flirtatious smile again, "remember, _friends _can have casual sex, like I told you last night..."

He didn't breathe as I placed my lips to his, feeling the warmth of his bottom lip as I pulled it between mine. My own breath became tight as I pulled him toward me, kissing and sucking more passionately. After a few seconds, I took a peek and noticed his eyes were now closed too, but his lips remained uneven. I centered my lips between his, gently prying his apart with my mouth. Once his sweet breath cascaded over mine from the separation, I enveloped his mouth with full force. I felt him begin to respond to me, kissing back gently, and that was all it took. I sighed, tangling my fingers into his copper hair as I pulled him tighter against me with my legs. His hands crashed on the pool table roughly, but he began to kiss back. Sure, it wasn't as strong as mine, but it was a start. It meant he was letting down his boundaries, and going with what felt good... which reminded me.

"Just do what _feels _good to you at this moment," I whispered on his lips, before sliding my tongue into his mouth. I heard his fingers scrape along the table as he breathed heavily into my mouth, but then he caved in, his warm tongue meeting mine in the middle. He let out a whimper of -- _frustration?_ -- as he began to use more force, his right hand finding the back of my head and pushing me against his face.

I knew that he was heart broken from Bella being with Jasper, and that this could possibly be considered as taking advantage of the situation. And I knew it was wrong for me to start this, and unlike me in normal circumstances. But I had wanted him _so bad_, for _so long_, that I felt as long as _he _wasn't pulling away... --for whatever reason he had -- ...it _must _mean he wants me back, to some degree... I gasped, gripping his shirt with my hands and sliding it up his chest. I wound my hands around his back, pulling it up over his shoulders. I pulled my face away as I yanked it above his head, dropping it on the table as I crashed my lips back to him. I felt his fingers battling with his brain, as his hands held then released then held my shirt again. I moaned in his mouth, craving more of his sweet taste.

"Please Edward?" I said, my hands finding his behind my lower back, motioning for him to pull it off. He leaned his face back, his eyes finding mine. And his expression was torn. I tilted my head at his, trying to understand what he was thinking, so I could push all his negative thoughts away, "we're just friends, I know that... but we are attracted to each other, it's obvious, Edward... please?"

"I can't," he whispered, his body not moving as he placed his trembling hands back on the table beside my legs, "not now that I know how you feel..."

"I don't feel that way anymore," I argued, shaking my head as my hands ran along his arms, "I thought I did, but I don't... I'm just attracted to you, and we're both single, and we're both so close, and I thought I was, but I'm not. _Really_. I just want to have sex with you. Just best-friend-because-we're-attracted-to-each-other-sex..."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds. "I don't believe you, Alice," and then he backed away from me, grabbing his shirt as he moved.

I sat there, my body flushed and hot, my mouth wide open, "What do you mean, you don't believe me?"

"Feelings can't be turned on and off like that."

"Sure they can!" I detested, nodding as my stomach twisted, watching him put on his shirt. "Besides, I was just confused when I said that. I didn't mean it."

He crossed his arms over his chest, stepping all the way from me, until his back was against the mini-bar, "You said you felt that way for three years, Al."

"I lied!" I shouted as I hopped off the table, "I swear, I did. I was just drunk, and confused, and I let the loneliness get the best of me, so I said it because I was drunk."

He shook his head, his eyes not leaving mine, "We're drinking now. What's the difference?"

"Well, for starters, you're not shit-faced drunk or comforting me from my bitterness, and we're consenting adults who love each other."

He growled, throwing his head back in frustration, "Alice, we can't do it."

"Why not?"

"Because!" he replied, his hands falling to his sides as he looked back down at me, "Because it's wrong. Because it could cause more confusion between us, which neither of us want."

"Edward, if I were any other girl on the whole entire planet right now, one who looked and talked and dressed and acted identical to me, you wouldn't be objecting."

"You're right," he hissed at me, "but you're _not _any other girl. You're Alice. You're my best friend in the entire world, and I am not going to have sex with you just because the both of us want to."

I became silent, my breath stopping. "...You _do _want to?"

"Of _course_, Alice! I'm not going to lie to you! I'm not going to tell you that I'm _not _attracted to you, or that I haven't thought about it a _lot _lately... about what you'd feel like, or what you'd taste like, or how good it'd be... But all of those emotions do not overtake the fact that _I love you _too fucking much to treat you like _any other girl_!"

Now I was speechless. There he was, glaring at me in frustration, steaming through his nose, still looking sexy while he rejected me once again... but all I could do was freeze. I gasped, my hand on my chest.

"Alice, we've got to _stop _putting ourselves in this type of situation. It isn't helping anything. We cannot take advantage of each other like this, no matter how much we may _think _we want each other, because we're lonely, or confused, or horny, or drunk, or _whatever _the case may be... Because in all honesty, it doesn't change the fact that you're _not _the girl for me, and I'm _not _the guy for you. Not like _that_."

I nodded, feeling my chest cave in completely. And as I sat there, listening to us shuffle under the silence, without speaking for what felt like hours... it all dawned on me.

I _wasn't _in love with him anymore. I refused. I _could _turn it off. He was going to be my best friend for life, and nothing more. He didn't want anything more from me. And even if he could, _I_ couldn't give him anything he truly needed... because I'm _not _Bella. This was all a game to me, now. Since he rejected me the first time... it was a _challenge _for me... _I _wanted to be the one girl in his life, no matter how foolish that was. And quite possibly because, if I were being truly honest with myself, for the past few days, I started liking someone else as well... someone who I've tried to deny and shake my thoughts away... and someone I constantly kept thinking about. Feeling _pulled _to him, by gravity and the moon themselves. And the more and more I thought about _him_, the more I found myself pulling away from Edward.

So tonight, maybe I did _just _want a sexual relationship from him.

"I'm sorry Alice," Edward whispered as he came over to me, rubbing the top of my head.

I nodded.

"Never again?"

"Sure. I think it's best."

"Me too."

"I'm..." I hopped off the counter, dazed in my realizations, "...going to go."

"Are you all right?"

I smiled genuinely up at him, "Yes. Good night, Edward."

"Night, Al."

**  


* * *

  
**

**JasperPOV**

"Give us another one!" Jacob demanded, slamming his fists on the table.

I shook my head, laughing along with them.

"Yes, please!" Rosalie contributed, "You're too good at them!"

"Yo' Mamma is so loose, she did the splits and got stuck to the floor."

They burst out laughing, pounding their hands on the table.

Tanya buried her face on the back of Jacob's right shoulder, her face too red with laughter.

Rosalie and Emmett were whispering to each other, Emmett causing her eyes to light up with fire and giggles.

After Bella finished her fourth glass of wine, and I told enough of the Yo' Mamma jokes I knew, I felt it was time for us to be alone.

I pulled her chair out and scooped her up in my arms, twisting her around and throwing her over my shoulder, "Well, we're off ladies and gents. Thanks for a wonderful evening."

Bella giggled, slapping my butt. "Tell us one more joke! Then we can go! One more, Jazzy!"

I sighed, as the four of the remaining people laughed at us, "Fine, one more. That's it though!"

She giggled, bending her knees to where her feet almost hit my head, "'Kay!"

I chuckled as she continued to hit my butt, "Alright, everyone paying attention?"

They nodded, their faces smiling as they waited.

"Yo' Mamma is so dumb, she got stabbed at a shoot out."

They all began to laugh, but Bella's was the loudest. She was certainly tipsy, but adorable still. I waved good bye to Jacob, Tanya, Rose, and Emmett, then carried Bella up to our room, flopping her over and onto the bed.

She gasped as her back hit, her hair flying all over the covers and her face, "You are so much fun, Jasper."

"That's what you've been saying all night," I teased, finding my pajamas.

"Because it's true!" she squealed, pushing herself up on her knees, "and you know what?"

"What?" I asked, pulling off my shirt. She froze, her eyes on my chest. I titled my head down to her, my eyes focusing on hers.

She tilted her head, her brows furrowing as she began to giggle and smile wide, "What were you saying?"

I chuckled, shaking my head, "I wasn't saying anything. You were. You were about to tell me something."

"Oh yeah! I was going to tell you..." she flopped back down on her back, running her fingers through her hair, "that you are so much fun."

I burst out laughing, pulling out a pair of stretch pajama pants from my suitcase, "you just said that, Bells. Was there something else?"

"Nope!"

"Oh. Well I'm glad that I'm fun."

"You are!"

"Thanks."

"Really, _really _fun," she continued, stretching her arms and legs out in mid-air.

"Thank you two times."

"I'm _serious _Edward, you are like the _best person EVER_!" she giggled, twisting to her side and curling into a little ball.

I froze stiff, staring at her in disbelief and shock.

She blinked a few times, before crinkling her forehead.

"What?" she giggled, biting her fingernails.

I continued to stare at her, almost feeling nauseated. A few minutes passed, and I couldn't stop.

"What, Jasper?" she asked, suddenly sobering her attention up as she rose to her knees again.

"Did you hear what you just _said _to me?"

She shook her head, looking confused, "No. What?"

"You just called me _Edward_, Bella."

"No I didn't," she replied too quickly, causing my stomach to flip more violently.

"Yes you _did_," I sneered, taking a step back from the bed as my frustrations began to take over, "And you didn't even _realize _you said it. You also didn't realize that you kept glancing at Edward when he and Alice were still there at the dinner table, and when we were talking about the accident earlier, you said how happy you were that he helped you guys out -- like I wasn't even there."

She shook her head, as if she was trying to argue with me.

"Yes, you did_! _And when we, -- the _both _of us, mind you -- were helping you girls out, you had all your attention focused on him the entire time, Bella. It was as if he was your only worry! And I let you go ride with him because I was worried for your safety, and after you gave me that chaste kiss, you ran off to him so fast that you couldn't even control your facial expressions. You were delighted to be running to him! And then you both fell down, and... You never once appeared to have cared about anyone but Edward, Bella."

"T-That's not true," she said, shaking her head at me, "it isn't, Jasper. You're my _boyfriend_. It's just, Edward and I have been through a lot and I didn't want him to get hurt while he was trying to take control of that situation! You _saw _all those cars and those wrecks and those people he helped on stretchers. I was _worried _for him. I lost the one man who was permanent in my life four years ago, my father Charlie, and all I could think about was how devastated I'd be if Edward were to get hurt too. Not because I'm _in love with him_, like you may be thinking, but because I _care _for him as a person and would _die _if he got hurt, Jasper!"

I tensed, glowering at her, "Weren't you worried for _me _too though? Couldn't you have shown _that _more?"

"Of _course _I was!" she shouted, climbing off the bed as she was completely sobered up. She headed toward me, her palms out, "But you came up to us first! So I knew _you _were safe, because you were with me! I didn't _have _to worry about your well-being, because I could try and protect you if it were possible. But I couldn't do anything for _him_."

We stood in silence for a few minutes, looking at each other, both of us hurt for different reasons.

"Jasper," she whispered, coming to me and wrapping her arms around my waist as she put her cheek on my bare chest, "I am sorry if I hurt you. I didn't mean to. I wish you would have said something before, if it had been bothering you..."

"I've tried to _not _let it bother me, Bella," I replied, dropping my hands to my sides, "but the more and more you look at him, or talk about him, or worry about him, or call _me_ HIS NAME... I can't help it."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, shaking her head before burying her face in my chest, "I'm so sorry."

I wound my arms around her slowly, rubbing her back as I exhaled loudly, "I just want to know if you're in this for you, or for the sake of _me_."

"I'm not, Jasper, I promise."

I nodded, still feeling hurt, "Alright. Well, it's going on one in the morning... maybe we should just call it a night. I'm feeling rather tired."

She squeezed me tighter, hugging me with all her might, "I really am sorry Jasper."

"Don't worry about it, Bella."

She nodded, sobbing into my chest. "Do you still want to be with me?"

"Yeah," I replied, closing my eyes as the heaviness in my chest settled in.

"Good." She wiped her face in her hands before backing away, giving me a smile, "good."

I nodded, pursing my lips as the exhaustion of the long day took over. I didn't want to think anymore about Bella and Edward... I wanted to ban it from my memory.

She chose me.

I felt so drowsy; I knew it'd take me about fifteen seconds to crash once I hit the mattress.

"You need to sleep," she sniffled, leading me by the arm toward the mattress.

She pulled the covers back while I threw on my pajama pants and climbed in.

She tucked me in, supplying a few kisses on my forehead and lips, "I'm just going to take a hot bath. Refigure my mind."

My eyes began to close and I nodded, "Alright. Good night, Bella."

"...Goodnight Jasper."

I heard her open and close the bathroom door.

I heard her pull out a towel from the cabinet.

But once she turned on the water, that was the last thing I heard before I crashed out cold.

**

* * *

  
**

**BellaPOV**

I spent the next two hours in the bathtub, refilling the water back to hot when it got too cold. I thought about everything in my life. About my dad, and my mom, and the boys I randomly dated in college. I thought about my old friends I lost touch with, and the friends I've kept for years. I thought about Jacob, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice... but mostly I thought about Edward.

All I wanted to do was see him.

And move overwhelmingly, all I wanted to do was _be _with him.

I couldn't shake it. The thoughts kept creeping up in my head, over and over and over again.

Tormenting me. Frustrating me.

Taunting me. Pushing me.

_Driving _me.

So here I was, standing in front of the bathroom mirror at three o'clock in the morning, naked. I eyed myself from every angle, trying to force my mind away from the awful ideas that placed themselves in my head... all concerning Edward.

Not a single sound stirred the house, being that everyone was in bed. Including Jasper -- and trust me, I peeked my head out the door several times, just to make sure he was sleeping.

I ran my fingers through my damp hair with a loud sigh as I wrapped the white towel around my body, securing the garment between my breasts with a corner fold.

I've never cheated on anyone... not like _this_. Maybe, okay once with Jacob, but Edward and I had only been dating for a few weeks when that happened, and we were fifteen years old. I didn't know any better.

But now I am a grown woman. And I _do _know better. And Jasper is really good to me. And I _don't _deserve him.

Still, I couldn't stop myself from wanting to be with Edward, with no afflictions or equivocations standing in my way, with the _what if's?_ surrounding me and bringing me down.

Because there were no _what if's?_ now. There was only the drive of _do it, do it, just do it because you know you want him and you're never going to stop until you have him completely, Bella._

So I took a few deep breaths, and turned away from the mirror, facing the door to Edward's bedroom, instead of mine.

Then the reality hit me. _What am I doing right now? _This isn't helping anything. I shouldn't be in here, like this... regardless of what I want... or don't want. Or what Edward wants... or doesn't want.

I sighed to myself. _Are we ready for this? Can we handle it? _I shouldn't be waking him up right now.

I held my breath and cracked open the door, tiptoeing on the light carpet. I stopped and knelt down by the fireplace, lighting it carefully and waiting until it became too hot to kneel next to. I took a glance over at Edward, who was lying on his stomach, sleeping. He looked so beautiful.

I bit my lip, tiptoeing over to the bed. Nerves washed over me as the scent of him became stronger.

He looked so peaceful as he slept... Like he was in some type of magical world, with nothing to do but fly around...

For a brief second, I wished I could somehow climb into his body and share that dream with him... escape from everything... from the reality of this world, of our relationship -- or lack there of, thanks to me and my relentless thoughts.

I'd give anything to escape right now. And try to forget that if we take this step which I'm about to begin, there is no turning back. We'd never be the same. We'd never look at each other with the same thoughts as we used to... and it'd all be my fault, if this ends badly.

I sighed, running my hand along his bare back. _Please just let this night go okay... please don't let me screw this up._

I twitched my lips, watching my hand tremble along the white sheets he was covered in.

It wasn't that I felt _guilty _for wanting to be with him, that wasn't the case here. I more than ever wanted this... It was the idea of waking up tomorrow, when all was settled and done, and feeling the entire universe shift in the sky. It was the nervous and terrifying anticipation that this could make or break us completely.

I took a staggering breath, leaning down to his ear, running my left hand along of the back of his bronzed hair line.

"Hey you," I whispered, clutching the towel I was wearing around my body tightly.

He nuzzled his face into the white pillow, not opening his eyes, "hmm?"

I smiled, caressing the back of his head. "Hey you... can you wake up for a second?"

He nuzzled his face again, and rose to his elbows, lifting his chest from the bed and looking around.

Then his green eyes settled on mine, causing my heart to skip.

"Are you all right?" he whispered, his voice scratchy as he blinked at me.

I nodded, my heart pounding through my chest. Our connection, that electric current between us, was all around. Tingling. Overtaking.

He took another squinty look around the darkened room, his eyes focusing on the fireplace I lit for us. Then he glanced back at me, his eyes trailing down my body as he took in my half-naked appearance. "What's going on?"

I bit my lip, holding my breath, "can you wake up?"

He furrowed his brows in confusion, but nodded shortly after, pulling himself up and twisting around so he could sit up.

"What's going on, Bella?" he asked again, still confused.

I was sure the last thing he expected was for me to be in here like this, wearing one tiny, thin garment.

I chewed the inside of my bottom lip, fixating myself on his eyes. His warm, glowing, dark, green, _devastatingly gorgeous_ eyes...

I licked my lips and rose to my feet beside the bed, not removing my eyes from his.

"Are you all right?" he asked again, tilting his head, as more confusion swept across his face, "Bella?"

I nodded, taking a step back, my heart pounding through my throat. I continued to walk backward, until I reached his door. Then, keeping my eyes on his, I locked the door.

He started to speak again, but stopped himself as he scratched his head.

I could tell I was making him nervous. He never liked being out of the loop, not even from other's _thoughts_. He always had to know what was going on, because losing control had never really been an option for him.

I gripped the top hem of the towel in my fingers, not removing my eye contact with him. After taking a few deep breaths, I pulled the towel from my body, my arms extending outward, and dropped it behind my back.

His breathing stalled as he refused to look at my body.

"Bella... What are you..." his voice trailed off as he began to fidget.

I glanced at the floor for a brief second, before bringing my eyes back to him...

He ran his hands over his face a few times, before blinking and looking back at me, "I'm confused," he whispered, creasing his forehead.

"I know you are..."

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

I nodded, pulling my lip back through my teeth. He waited for me to speak, but when I didn't, his forehead crinkled more. I walked over to him, slowly, and reached out my hand.

"What?" he asked, staring at my palm.

"Take it."

He swallowed hard, reaching his left hand out and placing it on my palm. I tugged on him slowly, motioning for him to come to me. He hesitated for a few seconds, trying to still figure out the situation at hand. "It's okay," I whispered to him, my voice as soothing as I could get it, with my thudding heart. After staring at me for a few seconds, he slowly crawled on his knees, scooting toward the edge of the mattress. I continued to walk backward, slowing my steps, as he followed me, stepping down onto the carpet.

The fireplace sparked and crackled behind us as he rose in his dark pajama pants, following me with a nervous expression. He looked so damn sexy, and adorable... and clueless.

"What's going on?" he asked, his own hands trembling in mine.

I held my breath, pulling him closer to me and placing both his warm hands on my naked hips.

"Uhhh," he said, his face showing nothing but confusion and fear, as well as lust... which he seemed to be trying to shake off. I was intimidating him.

I took the final step toward him, pushing my bare chest into him. He tried to raise his hands up in the air from me, in a _freeze _position, but I refused, gripping his hands on my hips and not allowing them to budge.

"Am I dreaming right now?"

I giggled, shaking my head, "no."

"Bella, what's gotten _into _you?" he asked, shaking his head as his breathing became shorter.

"Isn't it obvious?" I replied softly.

He shook his head, his eyes never leaving mine, "not really... just confusing..."

I tilted my head, watching him become more nervous, "I'm not s-sure what you are ...uh..." his voice trailed off, as he took in my appearance.

"Yes?" I pressed, dipping my head to keep eye contact with him.

"Uh, I'm not sure what you're trying to do, here..."

I rose on my tiptoes, bringing my face inches from him. Edward moved his face back so he could continue to look at me, but I shook my head as I slid my fingers up his hands, along his arms, across his shoulders, around the back of his neck, and not resting until I cradled his jaw line between my hands, pulling his face down to mine.

I heard him gasp as I pressed my lips to him, his entire body locking tight.

I continued to kiss his frozen lips, forcing his mouth to part along mine. His hot, sweet breath crashed over me as his lips trembled against mine. He was scared. I gripped the back of his hair with my fingers, pulling him to me as I deepened the kiss. I tilted my head, dragging my tongue out slowly, placing it on his bottom lip.

He started to pull away again, but then had some kind of inner battle with himself as he stuck in his bearings.

I felt his hands come along my body, grasping my wrists in his strong fingers, bracing my hands on his face. I expected him to pull away from me. I expected him to gasp for air, shaking his head as he backed off, trying to figure out what was going on with me.

So when he stood there, thinking in his head but allowing my mouth to take over his... I knew I was winning.

"I want you to do something for me," I said, running my fingers along his face. "Can you?"

"I... don't know..."

I dragged my lips along his again, almost _orgasming _with the friction alone. God he felt so good.

"Edward, I want you to make love to me," I whispered as I started kissing him again.

After a few minutes of my continued intentions, he broke loose, kissing me back.

It was slow at first, but the further I pushed it, the more he seemed to respond. I felt his tongue trace along my bottom lip, and I closed my eyes, savoring the teasing he was giving me. I parted my lips wider, begging him for entrance. He sighed, plunging his tongue into my mouth and jerking my body against him. Fiercely. His fingers gripped my hips with force as he pushed his face into mine roughly.

He was still battling with himself... but the lust was taking over. I threw my arms tighter around him, begging for the final inch between us to dissolve. I _needed _the contact. I _missed _it.

He jerked my hips into him, his tongue and lips increasing their friction. I tangled my fingers in his bronzed hair as he trailed his hands along my body, from the small of my back, up my spine, around to my rib cage, and down to my hips.

I sighed, melting into that kiss. His tongue was so slow, and seductive, and exotic... he took his time building it up, until my body became so tense that I began to tremble with enjoyment.

No one has _ever _been able to kiss me like Edward.

No one has even come close.

There was never that fulfillment I received when I was with anyone else.

There was never that tensing, burning, sensational, overwhelming, gravity pulling, completely _desperate _feeling I gathered in my stomach... like right now.

Edward began to kneel, focusing the attention from his lips on my neck, then my collar bone, then my breasts, then my diaphragm... He continued down my stomach, toward my belly button... as his hands created a massage of light circles on my back. He looked up at me, his eyes seeming incredibly gentle. And he gave me my favorite smile.

I ran my fingers through his wild hair, memorizing the feel of it.

Again, another feature of his I missed.

He rose to his feet, licking up along my neck, before returning his mouth to mine. He gripped me tighter and lifted me up in the air, and instinctively, I wrapped my legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth. He twisted around and walked back to the bed, his tongue battling for declaration with mine. He tasted sweet, sweeter than I'd ever tasted before...

My eyes sealed tighter as his bottom lip dragged along mine in a sweet, endearing way... _God, he was an incredible kisser._

He leaned me back, placing me gently onto his mattress as he hovered over me. He pulled himself up a bit, taking a good glance at me as I smiled up at him.

_Is this happening?_ was the expression on his face, a mixture of confusion and wanted desire. _Am I _allowing _this to happen?_

I nodded, trailing my cold fingers along his defined chest, up to his neck. I wound them around his skin, pulling him down slowly.

He stopped an inch from my lips, taking a deep breath. "Wait, wait, wait a second!" he gasped, shaking his head. "Are _we _doing this?"

I nodded again, smiling to him as my heart rate slowed down...

"Are _you _ready for this?"

"Yes."

I was beginning to feel more comfortable around him... more secure. Because maybe this _was _the right thing to do. Maybe it _was _the right time for us.

"I want you, Edward."

He sighed, closing his eyes. The tears of my frustration started to sneak their way out, but I shook them off. My voice, however, wasn't so steady and shook when I tried to explain to him.

"I've really missed you... so much... and ever since I saw you in that club, even though you pissed me off... I couldn't help it... I just wanted to be with you _so badly _and I was so jealous of all of those other girls, and so angry with you..." I ran my hands along my face, shaking my head.

Then I looked at him again, and I couldn't help but smile, "...but then I think about _My Edward_, like you are right now... with the crooked smile and the gentle eyes and beautiful heart... and then I realize I missed you all over again."

He wiped the hair out of my face, smiling at me. "I've really missed you too, Bella, bu-"

I covered his mouth, "no _but's_, Edward. Please?"

He sighed, "This is wrong, Bella. You have a _boyfriend_... someone I've grown to almost like, even."

"I know I do," I croaked out with a nod, as tears escaped out of my eyes and down the sides of my face, "but I just want this one night for us... just something that's special, and intimate, and secret from everyone. Just for us. And I can't help it."

He took a deep breath, his thumbs trailing along my cheek bones.

"Please Edward?" I whispered, going for the last resort as I ran my right hand through his bronzed hair again, "...please?"

And it worked.

He kissed me hard, his tongue entering my mouth at a rapid pace. It overwhelmed me. I moaned into him, bringing my legs around his waist as our hands began to explore each other.

Caressing... massaging... memorizing... His skin felt so warm, so delicate, and _so _good beneath my fingers... I felt like he was a mystery I got to discover... all over again. His tongue glided along mine in slow, devouring movements as I began to tremble beneath him in anticipation. His hands ran along my bare legs, his right one grabbing my calf and hooking it around his waist as he dug himself into me. He smelled so good, a sweet mixture of mints, cigarette smoke, and Axe body wash.

He began to push along my center, his chest to mine, his stomach on mine, slowly. He was so _good _at teasing and seducing... _Just as I remembered._

I moaned, cursing to myself over his pants that were separating us. He felt incredible along my hot spots. Two in particular. And I didn't _want _any barriers. Not with Edward Cullen above me. And definitely not tonight.

He bent down over me, lowering himself onto me again as he buried his face into my neck. I shivered as his warm breath cascaded along my cold shoulder, clutching his hair between my fingers, like I remembered he liked. He loved getting his hair pulled; he said it was such a turn on. He sucked on my neck, his hot tongue sliding along my skin. I shut my eyes, enjoying the sensation all too much.

"Oh Edward," I gasped, wrapping my other leg around him. "You feel so _good_."

"So do you," he gasped, kissing deeper into my neck, "and I've _missed _this spot so _much.._."

I smiled, remembering how his favorite thing to do with me was kiss my neck. I hummed in his ear, scratching his head gently until I got to the tips of his hair, where I tugged lightly. I ran my legs up and down the sides of his body, along his ribs, then around his back. He continued to push against my body, causing me to become angrier with those hunter-green, silky pajama pants.

Sure, they looked good on him. But not when I wanted to have sex with him.

Before I decided to scream in frustration, my hands trailed between us, to the drawstring on his pants. He pulled his face back, placing a few small, warm, delicious kisses on my bottom lip, "what are you doing?"

I giggled, blinking slowly at him, "I don't want any thing to be between us," I replied.

His crooked smile formed to a wide one, meeting his diamond green eyes. And then I melted.

"Do you want me to help you?"

I nodded, biting my lip.

"Don't start that," he teased, his finger tapping my bottom lip with his index finger as he licked his own, "it's too damn sexy. You'll have me flipping you all around this bed."

He helped me remove his pants, allowing them to slide down his tan legs with the help of my feet as I pushed them down. I gasped as I took in his naked frame, shuttering on the mattress. If it were possible, I'd definitely think he'd grown even larger than before. And it was all ready too big, which was three-fourths of our problem with my tiny little body, back in high school.

He stood there for a few seconds, admiring my naked body.

"You're making me nervous," I replied, my face blushing without my consent. My cheeks were hot as fire. And I was embarrassed.

He smiled, tilting his head as he whispered, "..._God _I've missed you."

My heart thudded out of my chest as I continued to chew on my bottom lip.

His hands ran from my toes, up my shins, around my knees, along my calves... He made me so nervous, but in a good way... in an only-with-Edward-way.

Because I wanted him so bad, and a part of me felt I never measured up to him... until now. Until tonight.

_Our night._

He spread my legs apart, gently with his warm hands, standing above me still. I blushed heavily and closed my eyes, listening to the pop and crackle of the fireplace to my right. I felt the heat bouncing from it onto my naked skin, and shivered. His hands were still massaging my knees and inner thighs, but held them onto the mattress, where he wanted them. I knew where his eyes were...

Keeping my eyes closed, I reached out my quivering hands, until I found his. Then I began to tug on him, desiring him and all the body heat he was going to bring with him.

He climbed above me but careful not to crush me with his weight. I smiled as he placed warm, slow, delicate kisses along my collar bones and chin.

Then he lifted his body again, glancing into my eyes. And I stopped shaking.

Because I wanted him, whole-heartedly.

He ran his fingers along my face, moving my hair out of my eyes then using the back of his hand to caress my cheek.

His voice was a velvety whisper, "you're so beautiful, Bella... You've always been," he smiled, blinking slowly as his thumb ran along my lips.

"But," he continued, melting into me more, "I think tonight, you're more stunning than ever before..."

I took a deep breath, reaching up to stroke the side of his face. I wanted to tell him how I felt at that moment, but was too scared.

So I thought it instead: _I love _you_, Edward._

He bent his head down into my neck, smelling the strawberry scent of me. Another favorite of his. Then he pulled back, his fingers stroking my cheek.

His voice was scratchy, soft, and sexy. Red velvety, "you know this changes everything, right?"

I held my breath for a few seconds, as the scent and taste of him soaked into my mouth and nose, where I wanted it to remain. "Yes."

He kissed my eyelids as my lashes fluttered shut, my hands trailing along his back. When he pulled away again, I almost wanted to cry.

"And you're..." his eyes met mine, warm and hooded, "...you're _sure _about this?"

I tilted my head, glancing at his eyes for what seemed like an eternity. I didn't know _anything_. I knew it was wrong to cheat on Jasper, and the fact that I didn't care at this moment bothered me more. Because I'd never be this selfish. And that confused me more. In fact, I didn't know what I was sure of... but I knew I didn't want to stop, for whatever reason... that has to count for _something_, right? And tonight, I didn't want to be alone, and I didn't want him to be either. Because even though we've been with people, it was never completing us.

That's why we were both here. _Together_. I wanted to share this with him, because it was the right thing to do. I knew it in my heart...Even if it killed me tomorrow.

"Yes," I replied, my voice barely a whisper, "I'm sure."

He smiled, his wet lips warm and glowing in the light of the orange fireplace.

I trailed my thumb along his lips, smiling at him, "now kiss me."

He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine, causing my heartbeat to rise all over again...

He felt so amazing; his lips forming along mine perfectly. Each move I made, he reciprocated. If I tilted my head, he did his too. We were so in sync; it was as if he could read my thoughts before they even happened. He knew when I wanted that deep, slow, sensual, arousing, passionate kiss... and he knew when I wanted to battle him for dominance.

He also knew when to suck in my bottom lip between his, causing me to moan and arch my back under him. And he did it perfectly... Just as he always did. I moaned loudly, reminding myself to hush it down before everyone in the house -- one in particular -- woke up and caught us. He pulled away, dragging his index finger between my breasts, up my neck, along my jaw, and over my lips, "shhhhh," he smiled at me.

"I can't help it," I gasped, my nails gripping his shoulder, "it feels too incredible to keep quiet."

"Yeah?" he replied, his facing looking quite confident, and possibly a bit smug, "I haven't even done much yet."

"Yes you have," I replied breathlessly, clawing at him, "please don't stop."

He chuckled, bringing his forehead down to my ribs. He slid his nose and forehead along my skin, side to side, breathing hot air along me...

"Bella," he whispered as he began to supply warm kisses down my stomach, between his words, "if you're already losing control, ...then I honestly can't wait until I do more to you... to hear what kind of sounds you'll make... to hear my name fall off of your lips...over... and over... and over.... again."

I pulled on his hair, trembling beneath each contact of his lips, "then do it. Please."

He snickered, kissing below my bellybutton, "I will, when you're ready, but for now, I want to take my time with you... because you deserve it." He inhaled my scent before resting his chin on me, closing his eyes as I stroked my fingers through his hair, "Bella you deserve to made love to slowly..."

"Only with you," I replied, tilting my head at the same time he did. He pulled himself back above me, kissing me so passionately that I lost my breath, and half my thoughts. His lips were warm and gentle, and the kiss was marvelous.

I pushed him back and rolled above him on the mattress, and our kissing increased. When I straddled him, the kiss became harder. We used up every inch of the king size bed, moving around and moaning under our breath each time our lips met again.

With every touch of his lips, he made me forget the bad things between us... One... after another... after another... until they were all gone.

His hands slipped up my warm body as the fire crackled beside us. He massaged my arms, then my neck, then my collar bone, then my ribs... finally resting on my breasts. He caressed and massaged and kneaded perfectly, with the most amazing amount of pressure that shot tingles right up my spine. Keeping my eyes on his, I leaned down to kiss him again. I could never get enough of his lips, now that I had them back. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. One hand roamed along my back, up and down, while the other slid up my neck to cradle my head. Once he kissed me, he rolled us over suddenly, to where he was on top again. His body pressed against mine, into the bed, and I could feel him between my legs... I could feel him everywhere.

Edward kissed my neck gently, taking both my hands in his, dragging them above my head and pulling them together. He grasped both of my wrists in one of his hands, the other making its way back down my body. And as his index finger trailed a line on my skin, I felt a burning sensation following it. I didn't even attempt to struggle under his grasp, I wanted this too damn bad. He slid one of his thighs between my legs, pressing against me as his mouth kissed from my neck to my upper chest and collar bone. He kissed my right shoulder, and then breathed hot air across me, until he reached my left shoulder, where he provided another kiss. While he kissed my skin, he continued his path with his right hand at the same time... sliding along my breasts, massaging my stomach...

I arched against him, silently begging for him to touch me. I wanted desperately for him to bring his hand between my legs, and caress me like he did before... to make me feel incredible, in a way only he could do. He only made it worse by teasing my breasts. He started with his lips, then his teeth... Then maintaining me entirely useless, just to tease me more because he loved doing it, he slipped his hand between my legs. We were still lying above the covers, completely naked, and I knew the parts beneath me were damp, all thanks to him. I trembled as I felt his hand lazily graze along my thigh, his fingertips gentle. Then he ran them above my pelvic bone, completely avoiding the area I desired the most, to my other thigh. I bit my lip to keep from shouting at him, trying to be patient.

He slowly released my hands from above my head, running his second hand softly over my face, dragging my bottom lip along his palm to his middle finger, where he smiled when he noticed that. He continued down over my breasts, causing me to shiver. I closed my eyes, the tingly sensations continuing everywhere... between my legs, along my breasts, down my spine, behind my neck... I whimpered, allowing it to overtake me until it became too much. Then I resorted to begging again, "please Edward?"

He moved his head back up to mine, "What's wrong, Bella?"

"I want you inside me," I whispered, looking directly into his eyes. It took all I had not to pout like a four year old.

"I know you do," he replied with a grin, closing his eyes to regain his control, "and I will."

"Okay," I said breathlessly, pulling him down to me, but he refused.

"Not yet Angel."

I stared at him for a minute, with his green eyes looking deep into my golden-brown ones. And when he smiled, I became liquid over this bed.

I ran my fingers down his body, along his firm chest, down his rippled abs, causing the muscles in his stomach to twitch under my touch. I lifted my head up off the mattress, running my lips and my tongue along his chest... he tasted incredibly delicious, that undeniable mixture of sweat and flushed skin and heated desire. I glanced up at him, to see his lips parted and his eyes closed, his face flickering with the light of the fire. Then I grabbed his right nipple in my mouth, trailing it with my tongue, and bit down gently, causing him to hold a deep, quick breath. I continued running my tongue across his flesh, while my hands made their way down his silky back, his ribs, all the way till I couldn't reach anymore. His left hand held his body over me, while his right hand moved my right thigh down, back onto the mattress.

He smiled wickedly at me when I gasped and laid back on the mattress, that want for him to touch me rising through my body and out my throat again. He trailed his left hand back up my arm, bringing my wrist with him, until he dropped it above my head. Then he swung his arm around, doing it with the other, while his right hand continued to tease my inner thighs. Once my hands were folded together, he leaned to his right and grabbed a pillow from the headboard, "lift your head sweetheart."

I smiled at the mention of the first nickname he ever called me, and did as I was told, allowing him to tuck it under my head to make me more comfortable. Once I was relaxed, he winked at me, sending me tingles in all the right places. And I wanted more.

Edward made his way back down; his right hand teasing me while his left hand spread apart my left leg, making it match it's identical, lying against the mattress. I held my breath as he continued his torment, gliding the fingers down torturously slow as he locked eyes with me. His left hand began to massage my side, his thumb kneading along my tightened skin. He finally rested his hand over my heat, covering me with his palm, smiling when I gasped and trembled over his contact. He smiled slowly at me while his middle finger began to move along my flesh; teasing the two areas I wanted the most, while massaging every other spot. Slight, teasing circles. I knew I was wet and knew he was enjoying himself, and so was I, but I wanted more. Still.

Once he began to apply more pressure, touching my sweetest spot and sending the blood rushing to my head and certain parts of my body, I couldn't help it. I bit my lip but still moaned, feeling his fingers glide with more pressure along my folds, making my body anticipate him more, reacting more aroused. I moaned again, pleading for him to enter, but he just smiled and continued his dance. His thumb began to provide sensual, mind numbing pleasure against my top, while his fingers ever so barely dipped inside, circling around. I trembled, shutting my eyes and raising my hips up to him.

And all I wanted was for him to touch me, to take me over, and never stop.

**

* * *

  
**

**EdwardPOV**

"Please?" she whimpered seductively, arching her hips to my fingers. She felt so incredible... So warm, and wet, and pink, and delicately slick...

Bella was a sensational trembling mixture of everything I've longed for, for so long, and searched for with other girls but never found... and that was when I realized I should have never let it go when I had it the first time.

When she literally couldn't stand my teasing any more, when her hips began to dance along the mattress in an attempt to get me to do it how she needed, when her trembling bottom lip parted from her upper, letting out the most sexy, seductive, whimper I had ever heard in my life... followed by a tender begging of _please_, I caved in. I slid my index and middle finger inside her, gasping at the same time she did, as the electric current that flew between our bodies was suddenly coming from both the inside _and _the out.

She felt amazing, so warm and tight but fitting with my fingers. I gave her what she wanted with no attempts to control her. I moved my fingers how I remembered she liked, with the speed and accuracy more perfect than before... because I _knew _Bella. Better than anyone... Even after all this time... Because that stuff never goes away... Not with a hidden love like ours.

I began to slowly speed up my pace, with both my thumb on her clitoris and my fingers inside her, giving the sensations through her body a nice work out. In out, in out, slight circles... _God she looked so sexy._ She arched her back and threw her head down, moaning louder. I watched as her chest flushed pink in the dim light of the fireplace, and as she bit her lip, drawing all the blood to her swollen lip as she released it. My own lips parted as I watched her take heavy breaths, her beautiful breasts heaving in the air as they remained aroused.

She kept her legs spread apart, her wrists willingly inactive above her head as I put them, her entire body trembling under my touch. I pushed my fingers all the way in, as far as they could go, curling them up just enough to send shivers toward her G-spot. Bella's eyes closed as she lost her breath, allowing the sensations from the rest of her body soar to this one delicate, private area of her body. Harder, faster, slower, gently, a nice mixture of ups and downs and round and rounds, giving her the high I so desperately wanted to provide. All I wanted was to make her feel good, to show her how beautiful she truly was to me, and how no one could replace her. Ever.

She gasped and thrashed and let out silent moans and whispers with the best of her control, and when I thought she couldn't get any wetter, I pushed deep inside her again, holding my fingers between her walls as my thumb continued to work her body. She began to whisper my name on repeat, causing my body to react with more urgency than before. She sounded so sexy, she had no idea how much she affected me, just repeating: "Oh Edward... Ohhh, Edward... Ohhhhhhhh _Edward_... _mmmmm_, please don't stop." I ran my thumb along her in gentle, perfect circles. I knew she was on the verge of climax, and debated with myself about giving her what she wanted or making her wait...

There was so much else I wanted to do with her, especially if this was my only night to make love to her.

I watched as her breathing became shallower, as her fingers unlocked themselves from above her head and tangled in her hair, as that heat flush crossed over her breasts and around her delicious belly button. There wasn't one single inch of her that wasn't perfect. She was a goddess. When she was on the edge of coming, when every cell in her body had grown tight with tension and desire, when her body ached for me to finish it off and allow it to relax breathlessly, I pulled my hand away.

Her head popped up as she tried to see over her heaving chest, finding out why I quit. She rose her legs up, bending her knees as she met my eyes. She was growing nervous; I could tell by the way she folded her knees together, like magnets. I gave her that favorite smile she loved so much, and she bit her lip, her body trembling on my covers. I ran my hands along her legs, massaging her shins and calves, up over her knees and along her outer-thighs. Her body was an earthquake, but I continued my caress until she somewhat relaxed.

I wanted to tell her so bad how I felt, but knew it could possibly cause tension in the air, and I didn't want to do that.

So I thought it instead, giving her my warmest smile: _I am so in love with you, Isabella._

And she smiled at me, giving me her warmest smile, as if she knew what I was thinking.

I raised her left leg, kissing it gently, all the way up to her inner thigh. I lifted her right leg and placed it over my shoulder, where I wished it could permanently stay, enjoying the delicious, clean, strawberry taste of her skin on my tongue. Her body wasn't covered in disgusting lotions like other women... she tasted pure, and innocent almost. It felt like I belonged here, with her, being this intimate. I was _never_ this intimate with anyone else. Not even Tanya. None of my ex-girlfriends, besides her... but Bella was special.

Her legs trembled as she sighed, nervously bringing her left hand up in my hair. I pressed my warm cheek against her tensed thigh, our eyes locking. I couldn't help but smile again, admiring how angelic she looked. She was nothing short of spectacular.

_She was my Bella._

I moved my mouth deeper inside her thigh, my left hand providing a massage underneath her leg now. She continued to quiver, moving my hair back from my forehead as I continued my trail toward her heat. I could smell her, so sweet and irreplaceable, and I became more turned on by every millimeter of her body... All I wanted to do was kiss her... until every place on her body was marked, glistening with my saliva... until she was claimed _mine _again.

She gasped as I breathed over her center, dragging her left leg over my arm and settling gently on my left shoulder. Her thighs quivered against my cheeks, and I slid my hands up her sides, giving her a comforting massage. I smiled and raised my head up, willing her to bend her face up and look at me. And once she did, I lost my breath by her presence, and began to stammer, "...a-are you... alright?"

She nodded, swallowing hard.

"Do you want me to continue love?" I asked, kissing her opposite inner-thigh.

"Oh, yes please," she answered, her voice shaken.

I smiled against her skin before returning to my favorite hidden spot of hers. I knew she was aching for me, needing me to provide that friction again, and if she only knew my inner thoughts, about how bad I wanted to devour her whole... I knew it'd just drive her crazier. I thought about telling her, explaining how bad I wanted to taste her on my tongue and feel her tugging and pushing on my head... but I knew that making love to her and silently providing those thoughts would be more sexy, which is what she deserved. Her hands trailed along my biceps, then my shoulders, then the back of my head, causing my eyes to flutter shut as she trailed her fingers up into my hair. I lifted my eyes and met hers, watching her stare down at me, and my body between her legs. I grinned, watching her inhale sharply while I kept out eye contact, slowly bringing my tongue out of my mouth to flick her gently. She gasped, her legs trembling all over again, with that one single piece of contact. And I about came undone, right there. Because not only was that taste of her irreplaceable, so sweet and delicious and inviting to me, watching her watch me kiss her was enough to double me over two times.

I brought my attention down south, trailing along the outsides of her body with my tongue, providing enough pressure to create an invisible flame along her skin. She arched her hips, craving more of me, her trembling hand gripping the tips of my bronzed hair. Her breathing was heavier, and shallower as I pressed my lips to her, humming slightly onto her flesh. I trailed my tongue from the bottom of her entrance, all the way up to the top, and then flipped it under, trailing it back down. Over and over and over again, lapping her up slowly, the way I knew she craved. She moaned and hummed and squirmed beneath me, sighing heavily every time I'd lift my tongue to start over. I pressed my lips hard against her, kissing her the way I'd kiss her mouth. I felt her hands drop to the mattress, and noticed my comforter scrunching around her, where she was digging her nails into the mattress. I smiled, moving harder and faster with my mouth, my tongue dipping inside her. She was warm and delicious and perfect, and I could probably stay here for an eternity and not object once. I felt the balls of her feet on my back, pushing harder as my mouth continued to push and pull and glide and kiss and suckle against her. She was shaking uncontrollably, and covering her mouth with her arm to keep herself quiet.

And although I wanted to hear her moan, I knew why she was doing it. But I quickly shook those negative thoughts away, pouring my desire for her into my mouth and my movements. She tried to push herself backward on the mattress and away from me, feeling her lose control. _You're not going anywhere_, I thought to myself with a smile as I raised my right arm up and over her hips, holding her in place. Then I began to widen out my tongue, trailing it up her pink folds, to her most sensitive area. She gasped loudly, cursing and saying my name in heavy breaths before covering her mouth again. I sucked hard and then gentle against her, circling my tongue around her swollen spot until she began to rock and lift her hips up. I felt her right leg drop off my shoulder as she lost herself in more of the sensations, and then I thought _give her more, Edward, _inserting a finger as I kissed along her body. She arched her back, and I think she was biting her hand at this point to keep from screaming so loud she'd break the windows. She was wet and warm and I knew I was accommodating her more than she'd ever had before, even with me in the past... and I loved every second of it.

"E-Edward," she cried, when I felt her body begin to tense under me.

I pulled my face away, kissing her inner thigh a few times, before turning my right cheek to it and smiling as her fingers yanked my hair, "Yes love?"

"I want you so _bad_," she cried seductively, her voice raspy.

My body was harder than ever, and that as the last straw for me. I removed my hands and trailed them up her legs, to her hips. I smiled and pulled her down a few inches on my bed, climbing up between her legs. My body felt like stone, I desired her so much.

"You want me?" I whispered, already knowing the answer. I just needed to hear it again, that way I could burn it and lock it into my memory forever.

"Yes, I do." She trailed her fingers up my arms as I held my weight over her, along my shoulders, and around my neck, "Please?"

I smiled, turning my face to kiss her right wrist as I whispered back, "...you know I love it when you beg..."

"Please Edward?" she begged seductively, the words bouncing in echoes between my ears as the fireplace crackled around, "Please take me. Please say you want me, too..."

"I want you Bella," I said, leaning over to kiss between her flushed breasts, up her neck, to her cheek, "I'll always want you," I continued, kissing her eyelids, then her nose, then her ears, "Always."

I didn't care if I weirded her out, it was how I felt.

"Then please make love to me Edward. Right now."

I nodded, massaging her legs and hips and sides. She pulled my face to hers and allowed me to spread her legs wide, positioning myself against her heat. She hummed as my tongue entered her mouth slowly, her fingers digging and scratching my hair. Our kissing slowly intensified as I ran my lower, hard body between her skin, preparing her for me. She moaned into my mouth before taking my bottom lip between her teeth, sending more hints of pleasure down my spine. It took all I had not to lose my control and ram into her, but I remained calm, enjoying the moment. She meant too much to me to just crash into her. She wound her legs around me but I knew it'd hurt her at this angle at first, regardless of how ready she was for me. So I gently removed them, placing her feet back on my sides. She pulled her face away and frowned, but I just covered her tender lips with my finger, my left hand trailing between our bodies.

"Yes," she said, arching her back for me, "yes."

I swallowed and placed myself against her, pulling myself up on my arms, "Bella look at me."

Her golden eyes found and melted mine immediately, as she released her lip and smiled at me. I noticed her hair flowing around my pillow as she tilted her head, her body calm, and her legs gripping my thighs.

"Are you sure?" I asked one more time, knowing that this was the final time to stop.

She smiled, her lips moist and gentle, "Absolutely."

"Bella, I ..." my trembling voice trailed off as I closed my eyes, kissing her lips gently.

God I wanted to tell her I loved her. Right then and there. I wanted to ask her to stay with me forever, tell her how sorry I was for everything I'd ever done wrong to her, for every fight we'd been in while we were together, and when we split up. I wanted to tell her how much she meant to me, and how I wanted to ask her to marry me, to wear my last name at the end of her first name...

I wanted to tell her all of this but couldn't. Because I never knew how she felt... and I didn't want to scare her away.

"I want you too, Edward," she whispered, her hands wrapping around my neck. She mistook my silence for hesitation, which wasn't the case.

"...It may hurt," I said, trying to keep my unsteady voice soft for her. I wanted to warn her, just in case...

"I don't care," she said, "it hurt the first time too... This time, we're _not _stopping."

"Okay," I smiled at her, gently picking her up beneath me and adjusting her more comfortably, where she needed to be. I scooped my left arm below her hips and lifted her in the air again, grabbing a second pillow and sliding it under the small of her back. I knew it'd ease the tension for her, and I wanted to make this enjoyable.

She gripped my hips as I slowly began to kiss her left shoulder. She scratched her nails gently up my back, sending cold chills as she moved. The she tucked her arms beneath mine, curling her wrists around so she could cling her fingers and palms on the back of my shoulder blades. I slowly began to move inside her, and as I expected, she was wet and willing, but tight and tensed.

Because she most likely hadn't done this in awhile.

I pulled out slightly, noticing her eyes were closed, "Bella... look at me, beautiful."

She slowly opened her eyes as her lips parted, and smiled, mirroring my own to her. I suddenly felt she was thinking that she loved me, and my entire body engulfed with chills.

I slowly entered her again and she was still tense, but I felt her legs loosen up a bit. Her fingernails were along my arms, and I gently kissed her chin, then her mouth as I continued. I felt her body opening up for me gradually and I got about half way in before her walls gripped too tight for my fit. I pulled back before I let the sensations over take me and lost control of my willpower. Because truthfully, she felt too damn good. I licked her bottom lip, pulling it into my mouth to kiss her feverishly. She moaned, loosening her grip with her nails but not moving her body. I slipped my hands beneath her neck, lifting her face so I could deepen our kiss. And she reciprocated, hitching her breath as I trailed my tongue seductively around hers. And I was in again, half way before I realized it... and after a few more tries, I was all the way in... Unable to go any further.

I stayed put, the overwhelming sensations of our intimate connection bouncing between us as we kissed each other.

_So this was what it meant to actually make love_, I thought to myself as her tongue entered my mouth, still slow and seductive... Lingering and savoring... Enjoying... _She's making love to me, too_... I smiled and kissed her with more passion, my fingers scratching her head while she scratched mine, my body rising up and down her gently while she wrapped her legs around me. We fit perfectly together, like two puzzle pieces, meant only for each other. This is how it always should have been.

Our bodies were perfectly synced, moving in rhythm slow and gradual, building with more intensity as we kept our mouths locked. I'd caress the sides of her face with my fingertips while she ran her entire fingers through the back and front of my hair. She allowed me to move and glide how I wanted to, the heat between our bodies taking us over. After awhile I sped up to an enjoyable pace for myself, and she loved it, squeezing me tighter with her legs while she continued to kiss me.

I never wanted to take my mouth from hers, never wanted to part from her body.

We savored ourselves for a long time, allowing us to build up and then slow down. It lasted forever, it felt like. Up down, up down, her hands glided down my back and to my sides, pressing me into her slowly. She curved her body against mine, stomach to stomach, chest to chest, mouth to mouth. She was tight and perfect and incredible, fitting my body to hers with an unexplainable_ intensity_. Her full orgasm came first and she moaned my name heavily as she lifted her head, burying her lips into my shoulder as she tangled her fingers in my hair. I kept going, my own building up.

She wound her legs around me, into a lock, shuddering beneath me every few seconds with after shocks. I felt her bite down onto my shoulder and claw on my back, her seductive voice whispering, "_Ohhh, Edward," _on repeat, and as she clenched her pc muscles together, I shot off before I could pull out, which was _not _my intention. In fact, it wasn't until _right then_, when it was too late to do anything about it, that I realized I wasn't wearing anything... and I am _always safe_. I fell onto her body, keeping myself inside her as I shuddered, gasping into the crook of her neck as I had the best orgasm of my life. Her hips lifted and lowered to milk me dry, her mouth to my ear as I trembled above her.

I felt so exhausted, inhaling as she exhaled, my chest pulling in as she breathed out. I moaned against her throat once her breath in my ear became too much, and shuttered inside her again. I clamped my eyes shut, trying to get a grip on my oxygen levels. Because I could almost pass out. I'd never had it that incredible before... and never will again, without her.

"That was so amazing," Bella gasped after a few more minutes of silence, just our breaths and the fireplace making noise.

"Yes it was," I replied with a smile, nuzzling my face in her neck.

She hummed, wrapping her legs and arms around me again. I inhaled her scent greedily, enjoying the fact that we were both sweaty and tingly, only caused by the other.

We laid there for about ten minutes, wrapped up like a human pretzel. I was about to dose off, until I felt her moving beneath me. My eyes popped open and I took a deep breath, lifting myself up a bit with my shaky arms.

"I have to get out of here in a few," she replied, her face frowning, "but could you hold me for a few minutes first?"

I smiled, my stomach flipping in circles at the thought of her leaving, "Of course."

I separated our bodies gently and rose to my feet, moving the covers down. She quietly crawled on her knees to the top of the bed, sliding her legs beneath the covers as I crawled in beside her. I pulled her to me, her back to my chest, as I moved her hair off the back of her neck. She wrapped my arms around her, holding my hands beneath hers, on her stomach. I provided a few kisses along her shoulder, and then nuzzled my face into her skin. She smelled so incredible, so sensational.

"Edward can I tell you something?" she whispered as her finger made tiny circles on the back of my hand.

I locked my fingers together, holding her tighter against me, "Anything, Angel."

She hesitated for a few seconds, and when she spoke, I barely heard her, "...I wish I could stay here forever, in your arms."

"You can," I replied heavily, smiling as I started to doze off, "...I'll let you."

And with that thought, I happily drifted off to the best sleep I had gotten in years.

**

* * *

  
**

**BellaPOV**

I was overwhelmed. I was engulfed in flames and passion and tingles and butterflies and all of that other stuff...

I was surrounded by warmth, feeling Edward's chest rise and fall against my back as he gripped my waist firmly.

The electric current between us was so strong; it ricocheted off the walls like a ping pong ball.

When he tightened his grip on me and nuzzled his face into the back of my neck, I slowly opened my eyes.

That was when I realized I had fallen asleep.

I gasped, lifting myself up on my right elbow and looking behind me to his clock.

Shit. It was going on seven in the morning.

And my boyfriend would be waking up any minute.

I cursed to myself, trying to pry his death-gripped fingers from my waist. It took about five minutes to succeed, and as soon as the contact was lost and his hands fell to the sheets, I felt depressed.

I didn't feel complete anymore... not without him holding me.

I ran around the room and gathered my towel and his pants. Biting my lip, I quickly re-dressed him, just in case someone like Alice climbed in bed with him and wondered why he wasn't wearing any clothes.

He never woke up.

I wrapped the towel around me, tiptoeing toward the bathroom door.

But when I got there, I froze, the emptiness taking me over.

That was when I turned around and ran over to him, bending down to kiss his bronzed head.

"I love you so much E-Edward," I whispered through a sniffle and a shaky voice, as the heaviness in my chest began to overtake me, and the tears fell from my eyes. I didn't want to leave him. Ever.

No one would be able to make me feel like him, and last night proved it.

But I couldn't stay here with him... not today.

Not now.

I reluctantly pulled myself away from him and turned around, walking toward the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned against it, gathering my breath.

After a few minutes to regain my composure, I splashed some cold water on my face and walked over to my side of the bathroom, opening the bedroom door. Jasper was in the exact same position, lying on his side facing the A-frame window, still asleep.

I closed my eyes, refusing myself the allowance of feeling guilty for cheating on him yet.

_Not until after you wake up,_ I told myself, _so just enjoy and remember the time with Edward... just in case it was your last._

I took a warm shower and threw on some pajamas, climbing into bed carefully beside Jasper.

I curled up in the covers, but the bed felt cold and bitter. Desolate.

Not warm and inviting, like Edward's.

I closed my eyes, allowing one tear to escape due to the loneliness I felt being away from him.

I reflected on all the different smiles he gave me, all his different touches and words and caresses and tingles he gave me.

And the more and more I thought about him, the easier it was for me to fall asleep.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 07! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!**

**-- So there we go! Now we know that Jasper's negativity from the last chapter was referring to him pushing Bella to go with Edward the day of the accident... and most likely allowing all her many conversations before this trip about Edward... and allowing her to dance over Edward... he thinks it's his fault she's beginning to cling toward Edward again... and he's recognizing the signs.**

**-- Not to mention... did you ever think maybe he woke up in the middle of the night and noticed she was gone, before drifting back to an awkward sleep? Hmm... to be determined.**

**-- And now you also know what Alice's thoughts were about.**

**-- FOR READERS OF **_**THE SEARCH FOR MYSELF**_**, PLEASE NOTE THAT THE CHAPTER IS BEING EDITED AS BEST AS POSSIBLE, BC IT'S SUCH A HUGE SCENE THAT I WANT TO PUT MORE TIME INTO MAKING IT WORTH YOUR WHILE!! I WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT AND LOYAL WITH ME!!**

**-- Another polls still open, place your answer on bottom of your review: Their New Year's Eve party is coming around the corner...  
what song and couple would you like to dance to?? Give me some requests!**

**Reviews are better than Edward thinking he loved Bella, and her face proving she **_**knew **_**what he was wanting to say. :D**


	8. Torn Feelings

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for cheering me up just by being you. I'm glad you're feeling better. I adore you!  
And **To my Readers: Thank you for all your encouragement, and patience. **_* hug *_

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Things that you expect to happen never actually do... welcome to life. The reality of Bella's decisions come back to haunt her, and she tries to sort out why  
she would ever allow herself to hurt Jasper like that. How is she gonna tell him? Meanwhile, Alice's decorating skills kick into full gear, as the group's friends  
come pouring in for the New Year's Eve party coming soon!  
Several POV's in this story.**

**~~~~~~~~~~GO TO MY PROFILE TO SEE ALL THE FRIENDS ADDED INTO THIS STORY!!~~~~~~~~~**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**If you just walked away... what could I really say?  
...Would it matter anyway?  
...Would it change how you feel?  
I am the mess you chose. The closet you cannot close.  
The devil in you, I suppose.  
Because the wounds never heal.  
But everything changes, if I could... turn back the years,  
if you could... learn to forgive me,  
than I could learn... to feel...**_

_**Staind, "Everything Changes"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter Eight: Torn Feelings**

**BellaPOV**

I woke up at four o'clock this morning, due to the immendable twists and erratic flips inside my stomach. I ran for the bathroom, full speed ahead, and barely made it to my knees before all my guilt came pouring out of me. It hit me hard and sharp and unexpectedly, and it burned fire.

My hands were trembling, my ribs were aching...

Tears poured from my eyes and I gripped the seat for dear life, begging for it to stop.

While I was heaving, thoughts flashed in my head. But they weren't of Edward, and they weren't of all my years with him or missing him when we split.

They were of Jasper.

All of them.

How I met Jasper in class on my first day as a freshman at school. How quickly we became not only friends but each other's complete support system at times.

I remembered when a girl tried to start a fight with me once. She didn't even know who I was, but word got around campus that I was sleeping with her boyfriend Andrew behind her back. She attacked me on the quad when I wasn't expecting it, and put me in a full body slam. And it wasn't the few girl friends I had made that in that first month that stood up for me. No, it was Jasper. He was the one that ran out of his class when he saw us fighting out the window, although he was in the middle of a pop quiz, and pulled her off of me while people booed him and cheered on for the fight. He held her away from me until campus security came down, and testified against her.

Jasper was the one who I called when I needed to bail on a lame date. He was the guy who went to the football and basketball games and begged me to tag along with him, even when he had a billion guy friends who were going. He snickered every time I unsuccessfully tried to refuse, saying that I was the only one he wanted to share those _glorious _moments with. Jasper was the man with the lap I found myself constantly sitting in because it was warm, or because I was crying over something that bothered me, or because I was lonely and wanted someone to hold me.

He was the guy who threw me over his shoulders at the Kenny Chesney concert when I couldn't see. I got the tickets last year for his birthday, and he begged _me _to go with him, though he had the choice of anyone. He was the one who I took home for Thanksgiving dinners to meet my mother and Phil. The one who allowed me to dress him up like Malibu Barbie during campus Halloween parties, the one who forced me to learn a semester of pottery with him so he could ask a girl out on a date, and the guy who let me cheat off of all his notes in class.

And he was one of my best friends in this entire world, and now my boyfriend.

And I cheated on him. With my ex-boyfriend, whom I spent hours, nights, weeks, months crying to him about. Saying I'd never get that close to anyone again, that way they couldn't hurt me.

And here I was, doing the hurting.

I was a miserable, disgusting, pathetic excuse for a friend, a girlfriend, and basically, at this moment, just a _woman _in general.

I didn't know the first thing about love, because if I did, I would have stuck with my decision to choose Jasper over Edward. There obviously had a reason I said yes to him! I would have never crawled into Edward's bed and begged him to make love to me, and I would have never broken Jasper's heart.

And the worst part is, he didn't even know it yet. How on earth could I face him and tell him? It's not like we were ten and I could write him a letter with a sad smiley face on it.

_Oh God, what have I done?_

I pushed myself away from the discredulate porcelain bowl and grabbed my sticky hair off my cheek, so I could lay my face down on the cold tile. Tears continued to stream down my face as I thought about all the times Jasper was there for me, all the looks, touches, hugs, and caresses he gave me of pure love... about all of his support and gratitude that I'd spend my time with him. Jasper was wildly popular at our school. He had tons of friends on all the sports teams, tons of friends on campus, tons of women flocking after him... yet it was _me _whom he desired to be with the most.

And there were a gazillion times I wanted to be with him too. Not only because he was attractive, kind-hearted, talented, focused, soulful, sweet, or any of those other things... It wasn't because he gave me constant attention and adoration.

It was because I loved him. _Too_. I did, and I knew it all along. Even still.

He had been _that man _in my life, for three years now. Almost the length that Edward was my boyfriend back in high school.

He was the man that waited patiently all this time for me to get my head together. He was the one who, after I said _yes _to being his _girlfriend_, had to pry _me _off of him because he didn't think I was ready to take it to that physical level yet. And he was the one who assured me I was worth the wait.

And I just did the unthinkable. I threw all of it away... All the trust, the years, the friendship, the love.

Gone.

Because of my _stupid _ex-boyfriend and my _stupid _love for him after all these pathetic, _stupid _years.

I laid there for hours, sobbing and heaving and aching... but no matter how much my body hurt because of the sickness, it was minor compared to the excruciating feeling inside my chest.

There was no way I could tell Jasper. There was no way I could leave him like this.

There was no way I could face him or lie to him either.

Did I pretend it didn't happen? Wouldn't that hurt Edward? What about me? _Like I have any right to think about myself right now._

But what if _this _was all Edward wanted? Just the sex? The accomplishment that he was better than Jasper, and I'd choose him over anyone when I got that chance?

What if Edward wanted to own that final piece of our chapter? To put the last rusty nail in my coffin?

...Sure he said he loved me and was happy and didn't regret that night... and neither did I, necessarily.... but I _do _wish I would have thought it through more, instead of going out on a fleeting whim.

Because it all slapped me in the face, and no matter which direction or path or boat I chose to escape with, it wouldn't fix anything. It didn't take it away.

There'd still be three confused souls, three battered bodies, and three broken hearts.

Around eight o'clock, I was all cried out and motionless, stuck to the floor in a dried-up tear puddle.

The alarm blasted through the radio speakers in the bedroom.

Jasper always woke up around seven or eight, because he goes for a jog every morning. Which meant he'd be in here any second.

I flushed the toilet and pulled myself up off the floor, ignoring the fact that I felt as if I had been run over by a bulldozer.

Then I dragged my feet to the sink, avoiding my reflection as I rinsed out my mouth, brushed my teeth, and splashed water on my face.

There was a knock on the bedroom door and I croaked out that it was okay for him to come in.

He strolled inside, rubbing his eyes. I watched him in the mirror as he slid over to me and rubbed my back with his right hand, while he ran his free fingers through his twisted locks.

"Good morning sweetheart," he said, and that alone was enough to make me boil over the toilet again. I was anything _but _a sweetheart.

"Mornin'," I replied grudgingly.

"How long have you been in here?"

I took an unsteady breath as I turned off the faucet, "I wasn't feeling too well, so... awhile, to say the least."

After he turned on the shower, he walked back over to me and ran his warm hand along my stomach as he gave me a soothing expression. Anytime he touches me, he reflects emotion onto me. It's weird how he does it, but regardless of what state of mind I'm in, it always works. My stomach eased at his touch and I forced a bitter half-smile at him.

"Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head as I looked away from his eyes. They were too beautiful, too endearing... too loving. I didn't deserve to be in their presence.

My voice was barely a whisper when I replied, "No. Thank you."

He nodded, pulling his hand away and kissing the side of my head, "I'll be out in a sec."

"No rush," I replied as I didn't take my advice, hurrying out of the bathroom. I couldn't breathe in there. It was too much.

There was no way in hell I could hurt Jasper. I loved him too much, regardless if I _deserve _to love him.

I needed to talk to Edward about this.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I fell asleep on the couch last night, which was a bad idea.

Not only was my back stiff as fuck and my head in desperate need of some extra-strength Tylenol, but the fact that the front doorbell kept ringing on repeat was annoying the fuck out of me.

I tried and tried to ignore it and roll over and sleep, but by about the eighteenth time, it became overbearing. I threw the the pillow off the couch and growled as I shot up.

I was about to kill the fucking UPS man.

Before I got to the door, Alice skidded in front of me and held up her hands, pushing me back, "No, no, I got it Jake!"

I growled at her and held my stance as she swung open the door. Ignoring the UPS man and the snow outside, I decided to focus on her ass. Why in the fuck she'd wear teeny yellow shorts, two tank tops, and fuzzy boots during the dead of winter, I had no idea. But my God, did she look sexy in it. I shook my head and turned to the left to walk away from that glorious sight before I plowed her into the snow, and froze again. The entire den was filled with boxes and packages. My jaw hit the ground as I stared at them.

After she shut the door and bounced around me, clearly in a better mood then she had been in the past few days.

"What the fuck is all this shit Alice?" I asked, holding my hands out.

"New Year's stuff!"

"Huh?" I scoffed at her, dumfounded. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"We're having a _party_," she replied as her tiny body started stacking boxes, "and I only have tonight to set it up. I've invited over some re-enforcements, old friends and such that come to the party. I realize that you didn't come last year or the year after, so you're not used to this routine. But everyone else is, so you'll adjust easy."

"Alice," I shook my head, still glancing at all the shit, "you are insane. This isn't a fucking high school prom, you know?"

"I know, but nothing cheers me up like a good party. And I'm an unstoppable force of nature, Jakey, so don't test me. I've already ordered everyone outfits," she stopped talking so she could squeeze my cheeks, "including you, and I put a lot of consideration into them, so no objections, okay?"

I stood there motionless as she continued to flail around the room. There was nothing I could think to say.

Emmett came in the room wearing gym shorts, a black shirt and snow boots, sticking a cigarette behind his ear as his smile grew, "Wow Alley-Cat, you've really outdone yourself this year. I don't get it. Only you can go shopping like this without hitting any _actual _stores."

"Ahh, gotta love the internet!"

"Mmhmm, so what did you buy me this year to wear?"

She bounced over to him, clapping her hands, "Oh my gosh! I think you're gonna love it! I really wanted you and Rosalie to look adorable together!"

"Yay!" he replied with his fake enthusiasm, "I cannot _wait _to look like the Bobsey twins!"

She slapped him playfully and he laughed, "Aww Al, you know I'm just playing. I trust you with clothes, but that's about it."

"Clothes are good enough for me!"

There was another knock on the door and I growled as I turned to get it. I was thinking of all the old UPS man jokes I could spit at him when I was done signing the package, but before I could get my sarcastic hump on, I froze instead. Because there was a fucking supermodel at the front door.

She _had _to be a supermodel... or something better... angelic, possibly? Oh my God in Heaven, I was in love. I never act like this around women, never lock up like this. Never fumble over words. But she was an exception.

I tilted my head, staring at her firm legs in those tight-ass jeans of hers. _And what a fine exception she was._

She was wearing faded blue jeans with bleach stains on them, and holes on the knees, black pointed boots that I could barely see, a black tank top with a grey one over it, and a mini-furry black jacket. Her black, long hair was in thick waves, and she had the most gorgeous set of lips I had ever desired to lick. She had piercing blue eyes, as bright as the fucking sea... cheesy as that shit sounds, it was true. And apparently, my dick agreed with my brain on this one.

"Hi," the angel said as she continued to smile at me.

I took a few breaths before shaking myself internally together. I cleared my throat, "Hi."

"You must be Jacob," she replied as she tilted her head, causing my heart to flip in a circle.

I nodded, holding out my hand to shake it, "Yes. And you are?"

"I'm Bryan Dennings. I'm Alice's cousin."

I shook her hand, making a mental note to make Alice my best friend now. "It's a pleasure to meet you." Her hand was so soft; I couldn't help but quickly stroke the back of it with my thumb.

"It's wonderful to meet you too."

We smiled at each other, continuing to shake hands. She had such a warming, pleasant smile.

And a body that made me understand why God was indeed a man, and why He loved his job.

"Jacob!" Alice shouted, squeezing between us and knocking our hands away, "let her in! It's freezing out!"

I backed away quickly, mentally slapping myself. _Duh, Jacob, it's like fucking three degrees outside! _

She smiled as we shut the door, and Alice took her hand and dragged her away before I could even redeem myself.

Emmett chuckled as he walked over to me and slammed me hard on the back, "That girl is a firecracker. Bryan comes and visits all the time up in Seattle. Trust me... she knows how hot she is and she will play it up."

"I think I'm in love," I replied, staring at the empty doorway she passed through. "Her name is Bryan, like a man's, and it sounds like _sex _when it rolls off her tongue."

He snickered, lighting his cigarette and handing me one, "Yeah I know. Just wait till you see her in a bikini."

Her scent was all around us. I wanted to strip naked and run around in it.

Then his words sunk into my brain and I snapped my head so fast in his direction that I thought I was going to break my neck, "Bikini? For New Years?"

"Nooo," he answered as he led me to the kitchen, "Bryan and a few friends are staying here for a few days. Normal routine and all... I'm sure you'll see it."

"Oh thank _God_," I exhaled, covering my chest, "I've never reacted this way before... is she like a fucking model or something?"

"Yeah, she does Hustler, Maxim, and other shit like that."

My eyes all but popped out of my head, "No shit?"

He nodded, "Yeah, she loves it. That's what I meant when I called her a _firecracker_."

"God help me."

"And," he continued as he tossed me a box of cereal, "she's got a step-sister... Charlee. She's a model too, but she's aiming more toward the Hefner-Playboy market."

I dropped down into a barstool, shaking my head. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Nope," he laughed, shoving fruit loops in his mouth, "I'm not. She'll be over here in just a few minutes actually. I think she's riding with Dean Cullen, which is Edward's cousin, and maybe even Paul Bendson, which is another friend of Edward's... Let's just say that our friends run in groups too."

I smirked, shaking my head as I took another bite. "So Edward is friends with these models?"

"Yep."

"Wow. I think I should have hopped the friend-fence back in high school, maybe bettered my chances that way..."

He burst out laughing, rubbing the top of his head, "Yeah. And they're smart too, not just dumb idiots. That's why I like 'em, because they're cool as fuck."

"So... did Edward hook up with any of them?"

He smirked, shaking his head, "Like I'd ever tell you that dude. He's single too now. I'm sure that if he hadn't -- and I'm not saying that's a yes or a no, by the way -- but if he hasn't, then he just may work on that while they're here, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, more competition."

"Ahh, you and Eddy are used to that by now, I'm sure."

"Yeah."

There was another knock on the door, and my stomach hit the ground.

"That's Charlee! Can you let her in, somebody?!" Alice shouted from the den.

And then I ran for the door like there was a bomb attached to my ass.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I heard giggles and felt my bed moving all around me. After a few minutes, more giggles surrounded me as my mattress got heavier. I furrowed my brows and rolled over, trying to adjust my eyes.

"Surprise!"

My eyes popped open to find Alice on her knees beside me, sitting next to Charlee and Bryan Dennings.

I gasped as I sat up, shaking my head.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?!" I shouted, overjoyed as all three of them pounced on me, knocking me back over.

"Edward you got so handsome!" Bryan giggled playfully as Charlee stroked my hair.

"And _sexy_!" Charlee added.

"And he's probably got a boner now too, thanks to us," Alice had to pipe in.

I rolled my eyes at her as I hugged them tight. "God, it has been awhile!"

"Yep! Twelve months!"

I smiled at Bryan, taking in her appearance, "You have grown some too. Look at your boobs!"

"I know, right!" Charlee replied, pushing her sister playfully, "I told her I needed to get mine done so we'd be even."

"Yeah but these are _real_," Bryan replied.

We laughed as their banter bounced back and forth, and I took in Alice's appearance. She seemed rejuvenated. Spunky. _Sunshine _again.

I winked at her and she winked back as she crawled off of my bed, "Well, I'm going to leave these two here with you. I'm sure you can handle it. Dean and Paul will be here in a little while, Edward. So will Jessica and Mike, and Angela and Ben. And I've also invited Makin Holt, which is Jasper's friend from school, and Colleen Sanders, which is Bella's friend that lives around here... and a few others... at least one person for each of us here. It's gonna be a busy day! Oh, and your dad called, so you need to call him back. He's at the office."

I nodded as she shut the door.

These two girls were always cheerful, they brightened my day.

I patted their legs. "Well, it's not everyday I wake up to two sexy supermodels."

They smiled as they sat Indian-style, waiting for me to wake up completely.

"So how have you been?" Charlee asked, stretching her arms in the air.

Her hair is always blonde or dark, and today it was dark. She wore a white tube-top and black jeans, matched with spiky heels. She looked _good_, as always.

I smiled at her as I crawled out of the covers, thankful I didn't sleep naked last night. "Good, actually. Much better lately. How about yourself?"

"Well, I just finished school, and I have an arranged meeting next month with Hef, for a possible calendar shoot."

"That's awesome!" I said, giving her a hug. "And the career?"

"Succeeded in getting my Criminal Justice major, so hopefully I'll be working for the U.S. Department of State."

I applauded her. She had sex appeal _with _intelligence. Quite the package.

"And you, Bryan?" I asked, turning my head in her direction and giving her a smile.

"Well, as you know from when I talked to you on the phone last week, I _too _finished school. So hopefully, if I get this resident internship like I'm wanting, I'll be a successful doctor!"

Bryan is like her sister, intelligent beyond her years. However, they are on completely separate career paths. Bryan models for magazines such as Hustler and Maxim, but uses that money she makes for school, and donates to various women's charities. She's compassionate and strong-minded. She took plenty of AP Math and Science classes throughout school, volunteered at health clinics and facilities... She wants to be a gynecologist. Her mother died due to ovarian cancer, and she's hoping to one day find a cure for that. Her father William is also a doctor, like my own, and when he married Charlee's mother, Annie, they have formed a strong family union to help the less-fortunate find cures for diseases. They're truly inspiring. And very pretty, both inside and out.

"What about you? Do you still want to be a OB/GYN?"

I smiled with a nod, "Yes, that is the plan."

Bryan squealed as she rolled over on her stomach, her pointed boots dangling in the air. "Aww, I think it's so sweet that you want to work with babies and deliveries all day..."

I smiled again as I pulled out my clothes for the day, "Thank you. It has been truly amazing. I love it."

"So you decided to go ahead and do that, instead of surgery, like Carlisle?" Charlee asked, clearly not informed with my plans.

"Yes. It's where my interests panned out."

"So, wait a minute!" Charlee shouted, her hands out in the air, "You _both _want to look at vaginas all day long? I mean, I realize that some are very beautiful, but come on... that's got to be a hit on the sex life."

I snickered as I crossed my arms, leaning against my dresser, "Not really. It doesn't make us perverted or disgusted. If I were a strict gynecologist -- no offense, Bry -- then yeah, I may feel a little queasy sometime, since... you know... some women don't..." I shook my head, feeling unnecessary to go into detail, "...but being an OB/GYN, it means that I have the education in _both _fields -- obstetrician and gynecology -- and can provide medical _and _surgical care to women. I have the experience of pregnancy, childbirth, _and _the reproductive system. Sure, I have to do stuff like preventative care and health screens, but I _love _the fact that I can have my own practice one day and really work to make these fields _better_. Healthier. It'll be good for me. Keep me busy."

She nodded, seeming fascinated by how excited I sounded. "What do you want to specialize in? Any specifics?"

"Well I can do anything from cancer, infertility, health maintenance, acute and chronic conditions, endocrinology... but I think for now I'll stick with deliveries. I love the idea of being that one reliable person who can help bring new life to their family."

She smiled at me. "Wow...That's awesome, Edward! So what all are you certified for? I know you were taking a break from medical school..."

"Yeah, I took a break for a few months, but I've already got a residency position accredited for, through the the American Council for Graduate Medical Education... Then I'll have to pass the examination, which is a granted board certified status in Obstetrics and Gynecology. It's a pre-requisite to subspecialty certification. After that, I plan to one day look more into Maternal and Fetal Medicine, Reproductive Endocrinology, or even Urogynecology and Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery..."

Bryan and Charlee smiled at each other.

Then Charlee's brows scrunched together. "Wait, what is Reproductive Endo...whatever that word is... or Urogynecology? What _are _those?"

I snickered, forgetting that she wouldn't have a clue what I was talking about, unlike her sister. "Well, Reproductive Endocrinology is the diagnosis and management of infertility in women, including pregnancy loss, surgery and preservation of the reproductive tract. While Urogynecology is the treatment of urinary incontinence in women, including the prolapse of bladder and reproductive organs."

"Oh," she replied, still not getting it.

I just shook my head and laughed.

"So who are you dating now?" Bryan changed the subject, like she does every time we talk.

"Um..." I pursed my lips, "it's sort of... a complicated situation at the moment. I've got a few things I'm working on. How about yourself?"

"No one in particular. But I did find a handsome, dark-haired hotty downstairs that caught my eye."

I furrowed my brows. "Who?"

"His name is Jacob."

I growled and tilted my head back, rubbing my face, "Please Bryan, don't go there. He's a douche bag. Plus, he's fucking my left-overs, probably as I speak."

"So?" she snickered, running her fingers through her hair. "You have good taste. _I'd _probably bang some of your left-overs too, if I, you know, had a penis."

We laughed as Charlee crawled off the bed. "So is Bella here? I haven't seen her in a few years."

My stomach flipped in a circle at the mere mention of her name. I was so excited to see her, to be able to introduce her as _mine _again. "Yeah, she's here. I'm sure you'll see her soon."

Bryan squealed and climbed off the bed too. "Oh I'm so excited! She's such a sweetheart; I still don't know why you fucked that up so long ago. I bet she got so hot, is she hot Edward?"

I nodded, taking a deep breath. "She's... words can't describe. I didn't think that it would be possible, for her to be _this _beautiful... It's almost angelic. Truthfully guys, it almost _hurts _to look at her. I don't know what I was thinking either."

"Well, you know what the wise man once said..." Bryan replied as she threw her arm over my shoulders, "true love doesn't die. It only rests for a little while."

"_I_ told you that," I replied as I nudged her hip with mine, "in that poem I wrote for Bella back in school when we broke up, but never gave her_. I_ made that up."

"I know! And it stuck with me. So get to it, soldier!"

"Yeah yeah," I replied as I pushed them out the door, "now get out and go make yourselves helpful. I'm sure Alice has plenty of boxes and streamers for you two to hang."

"Party pooper!"

I snickered and shut my door. I had stayed up most the night, praying Bella went ahead and told Jasper about us... But there was no noise. So I crashed around three-thirty in the morning.

And now, I was excited to get in the shower and go downstairs, so I could see her.

It had been a long night in an empty, cold bed.

I was hoping that it could all change in just a few hours.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Rosalie was a nervous wreck.

She was quite amusing to watch, as I stuck the ballpark pretzel in my mouth. _These microwave things are the shit!_

There was now about fifteen to twenty friends and a few cousins in this little den, and she was the only one freaking out because of a pixie. Alice was trying to reach a box on top of a high stack, so Jasper volunteered to let her stand on his shoulders. And while the rest of us had faith that, if the two-pound girl actually _did _fall, that Jasper would catch her... however, Rosalie all but went nuts.

"Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, please don't let her fall!"

"I'm fine Rosalie, really!" Alice tried to reassure her.

"Jasper don't you dare let her go! Don't move too much!"

"Jasper's got a good grip on my shoes," Alice mused.

"So what!" Rosalie shouted back at her, "What does _that _mean? If you fall backward and break your neck, at least your _shoes _are safe?!"

"Shoes _are _very important."

I snickered and threw my arm over her shoulders, pulling her into my side. "Alice will be fine, babe. No worries."

She crossed her arms over her chest, still looking uncomfortable. "Sure."

Once Alice found and dropped the box she was looking for, she told Jasper she was ready to come down. He nodded and slowly raised his arms up in the air, finding her hands. Then he pulled her down into his arms, like a bride. Her grin was big and goofy as she sat in his arms. And he smiled back at her, just as genuine.

I snickered.

She was too obvious.

Her beloved Edward had been replaced -- with Bella's new boyfriend.

_Oh shit!_

I burst out laughing and covered my face once everyone glanced over at me like I was a retard.

"Sorry, sorry. Rosalie was tickling me," I replied, ignoring Rosalie denying my claim as I walked into the kitchen.

Once I got there, I laughed louder. I couldn't help myself. This was too good! For as long as I can remember, Alice was in love with her best friend. It was completely obvious, to basically everyone but Edward... and most likely still is, for all I know.

So the thought of her replacing him for Jasper... well that just brightens up our little love-triangle-square thing.

_God I love these people!_

Edward came strolling in, wearing a dark denim jeans, a black t-shirt with a dark jacket over it. He had sunglasses on and his hair was styled, so I assumed he was either going outside or leaving somewhere. Tanya came over to him and interrupted his movement, to where he skidded to a stop before crashing into her. I snickered as I watched him slowly remove his sunglasses and talk with her. He nodded a few times, keeping the annoyed expression on his face as she rambled on. When she heightened the volume in her voice, he didn't even wince. He just continued to not, like he was completely unphased. Then she threw her hands on her hips and growled at him, to which he just shrugged.

Then she turned and stormed off.

He noticed me staring at him and gave me a nod, which I returned. After he spoke with Alice for a second, and then said hello to his cousin Dean and friend Paul, he walked over to me.

I snickered and slapped him on his back, "What the hell are you so dressed up for? Hot date?"

He shrugged, pulling his sunglasses back down, "Possibly. So I need to go get some cigarettes, I think Dean's gonna come. You wanna ride out?"

I took a glance over at Rosalie, who was lifting heavy boxes in high heels, and nodded, "Sure, why not?"

"Cool."

Dean strolled over to us and shook my hand. He's a cool cat. I've known him since I met Edward, when we were kids. He always flies in from New York to chill with us. He has a mixed personality between Edward and me, which goes for both of our favor at times. If I want to get Edward in trouble, sometimes Dean will oblige and help me. Other times, if it is something serious, he'll side with Edward. He's the middle man.

"How the fuck is it going?" I asked him, taking in his brown shirt and jeans. The dude is a preppy bitch but has got a mouth on him like a fucking sailor.

"Not too bad, glad to be here."

"Yeah, it's gonna be fun."

"Always is when I'm here," he replied.

I chuckled, "Dude, that's my line. You can't steal my shit."

"I invented that shit," he said, smacking me on my back. "So, I hear the blonde one is yours."

"Yep," I sighed, tilting my head as Rosalie bent over to pick up the next box, "she's fucking gorgeous, isn't she?"

"Yeah. Was she stoned when she agreed to be your girlfriend?"

"Dude. That's not cool."

He laughed, "I'm just busting your balls man. She's really cool though, I got a chance to talk with her when I arrived. She's fucking smart too. I wouldn't expect that with an ass like that."

"I know. She's got a mouth on her too though. She'll put you in your place. I think that's why I like her."

"Sounds like typical Emmett."

I nodded as Edward strolled back over to us, sticking a cigarette in his mouth and twirling the keys on his index finger.

Again, he was stopped, but this time by Jasper. It threw me off to see how quick his posture tensed up when Jasper stood in front of him. It didn't look as if he were saying anything negative to Edward, but when the cigarette fell from his lips and onto the carpet, I knew something had to be up. I watched as he turned into an ice sculpture and then shook his head, trying to regain his stance. He swallowed hard and forced a smile, before nodding once. Then, as he brushed past Jasper and headed toward us, he got this look on his face that said _oh shit_.

I could barely hold myself together until we climbed into his car.

"So what the fuck was that all about?" I asked as he was pulling out of the drive.

"He wanted me to pick him up some cigarettes and Bella some Starbucks coffee."

I crinkled my forehead, "and so that required an _oh-fuck-me_ expression?"

He sighed, "It's a long fucking story."

"Well," I said, as I dug through my pockets and smirked at him and Dean, "we've got a little trip ahead of us, and some beautiful ganga here to share... Get to it, pretty boy."

He pulled onto the interstate, shaking his head and trying to wipe off that fucking smirk he has sometimes when he's done something bad.

"Oh please don't tell me you fucked Tanya again!" I shouted at him after I lit up the smoke. "Not after Jake!"

"No, tell him you _did_! Prove to Jake that you're better than that little piece of dick!" Dean laughed, pushing my face with the palm of his hand as he stole my master joint creation from my fingers.

Edward's shit-eating grin grew wider, and he covered his mouth with his hand as he continued to drive, "I'm in such deep fucking shit guys."

Dean took a hit and passed it over to him, and held his breath as he spoke, "What kind of shit? Good shit?"

"Did you fuck someone?" I asked, hoping to hear some gossip. I ripped the joint from Edward's fingers as soon as he took a hit, motioning for him to continue.

"Not quite."

"Holy shit!" I shouted, banging on the dashboard and turning down the radio, "I know who it was! It was Alice, you motherfucker! Wasn't it? I know it was!"

He snapped his head in my direction, his smile not leaving his face, "How do you get that?"

"Well, first of all," I replied as I took another hit and passed it on, "she's always been on your dick... all the way until around yesterday or so... And then I see her with Jasper, and wearing shorter shorts, and bouncing around the house... so all I can envision is you giving it to her, leaving her satisfied, and then you two moving on from it."

He rubbed his face to stop laughing as he floored it past a Semi. "Alice and I aren't having sex, Em. How many times do I have to tell you that?"

"Why not, I'd do her," Dean pitched in, with me nodding.

"So tell me this, Eddy. Remove those fucking shades, look me in the eye, and tell me you've never had your mouth, fingers, or dick over that lower part of hers, with _or _without clothes."

He turned his head to me and didn't say anything. He didn't remove his sunglasses either.

Dean and I burst out laughing and Edward just shook his head, pulling on his hair, "It happened just once, and we didn't do much. No sex was involved, I swear. Look guys, this isn't about Alice, okay?! I swear!"

We continued to laugh at him as we put out the joint and turned onto the highway again.

"This is why I should have gone alone," he mumbled in his scratchy voice, turning into the Wal-Mart parking lot.

We sprayed some cologne on and climbed out of the car, heading toward the store.

"Dude, you know I'm gonna keep bugging you about it until you dish, so just fucking do it and save me the words."

Edward glared at me as we passed the greeter in the store, "I don't know man. I am pretty fucking confused right now, and I am not really sure what the situation _is _at this moment, so it makes me more confused."

"Hmm," Dean said, "yeah that really doesn't tell us much."

Edward groaned, "I sort of... kissed Bella once."

I nodded, scratching my head, "Yeah that happens sometimes when you date people."

"No. Recently. Like, the night before last, perhaps...."

The three of us froze in the middle of the aisle.

"What?!" Dean and I said at the same time, causing Edward to wince.

"I know," he whispered, tugging his hair for a second as the words came fumbling out, "I know. It was wrong. But it happened now, and I had already realized that I am in love with her _before _it happened, so now it makes everything worse, and I just want to go home and see her so bad and I don't know if she's told Jasper yet, and I'm seriously on edge because all I want to do is grab her in my hands and squeeze her tight and vow to never fucking let her go again."

Dean laughed and backed away to put some thought in this, while I stood there frozen and dumbfounded.

"What do you mean," I began, raising my finger, "that you figured out that you're _in love _with her?"

He sighed, shoving his hands into his pocket. "I mean exactly that."

"No," I said, pushing him on his chest so he fell back a bit. "You're _not _in love with her. This is another one of your fucking challenges, dude. You just want her because she's taken, and she's in your fucking face, flaunting that shit around. You're not _in love_ with her, you fucking idiot. You're in love with the idea of winning her over. Of the idea of proving to yourself that you could have her if you wanted her."

Edward shook his head. "I don't think so man. I think it's more than that."

I mimicked him, shaking mine back at him, "No dude. It's the _chase_. Trust me, I know you. It's the chase. If you're _in love_ with Bella, it wouldn't have taken you four years to figure that shit out. You just want what you can't have, because right now, Bella is the only girl on the fucking planet that you _can't _have."

Edward groaned, throwing his head back. "I love her, Emmett. I always have. Come on, you know that. Why haven't I committed to anyone else if that wasn't the case?"

"Because you're Edward fucking Cullen, and enjoy the attention?"

"No, because you can't give your heart to someone else if that one other person all ready has it in their fucking hands, whether they broke it into pieces or not."

"No, Edward. No. Okay? You really need to think about what you're doing here. Okay? Jasper's a cool dude, and I think you know that. And I don't think he's going to up and willingly hand her over to you because you've had some sort of weird fucking epiphany. It doesn't work that way. And besides, you don't even know what Bella wants. Maybe she was drunk? Maybe she was bored? Maybe she wanted to kiss you, just to prove to herself that she found someone better than you -- or so she thinks. But the point is, it's just a chase... It's not love."

He sighed as Dean came back over to us.

"What am I gonna do?" he asked glumly, after a few minutes of silence.

"Nothing," Dean replied. "Just relax, let her come to you, and see how she reacts. There's no need in stressing over shit until it's worth it."

I waited until we finished our shopping and climbed back into the car before I asked my next question.

"So..." I began nonchalantly as we pulled in line at the Starbucks drive-thru, "all you did was kiss her though.... right?"

He swallowed, not turning to face me. "Yeah, pretty much."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I avoided leaving the bedroom.

I wrote in my journal.

I read a book.

I skimmed through TV channels.

Nothing could hold my interest.

So then I changed my clothes about fourteen times.

I was a nauseated, confused, terrified nervous wreck.

I finally settled on a long, fitting, black t-shirt, some white jeans, and black boots. I fiddled with my hair and makeup for awhile, but nothing seemed to go how I wanted it to. So I gave up.

I was afraid to see Jasper, afraid to see Edward, and afraid everyone would see through _me_.

A knock on my bedroom door startled me. It wasn't Jasper, because he wouldn't knock.

And Edward most likely wouldn't come in here, afraid of Jasper figuring it out.

I ran over there, and slowly cracked it and peeked outside.

Then I exhaled.

I found my best girl friend from college, Colleen, and pulled her inside, slamming the door behind her.

"Oh my gosh, are you _this _happy to see me?" she giggled when I pulled her over to my bed.

"Coll, what to you so long? I am in big, _big _trouble!"

"What's the matter, Bella?"

"Okay so you know how I called you a few nights ago and told you I was dating Jasper now? Officially?"

"Yeah..."

"I cheated on him," I said quickly, before I could think about it.

She looked confused. "What do you mean, you _cheated _on him?"

I nodded, giving her my sad expression and swallowing hard. "With Edward. The night before last."

"_Edward_?!" she repeated, standing up with her mouth hanging open. "_Bella_! Oh my God!"

I covered my face and slumped to the floor, "I know! And I haven't told anyone else, because Rosalie wouldn't understand; his best friend Alice is in love with him, I think... and all the guys would just laugh or go tell everyone. I know it's bad, and now I _don't know _what I am going to do!"

"Okay..." She sat down Indian-style in front of me, gathering my hands in hers. "What do you mean by _cheating_, first of all?"

"I had sex with him. Mind blowing, life changing, never gonna be able to not think about it if I were with anyone else now, passionate physical complete _sex_."

She slumped over, in defeat. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," I replied cowardly, "and I haven't told Jasper."

"Do you _have _to tell Jasper?"

"Colleen!" I yelled, before lowering my voice and edging closer to her. "It's the right thing to do, wouldn't you say? Jasper doesn't deserve to be lied to!"

"I know it's the right thing to do, in _theory_... but Bella, Jazz has been crazy for you for three years. So when he realizes that after all this time, he was only able to keep you as his official girlfriend, for like what, three _days_? You're not only gonna break his heart, but you're going to crush it into so many pieces, that it won't be recognizable, or functional, for that matter."

I groaned, falling backward onto the carpet. "What am I gonna do, Colleen?"

She slid over and lay next to me. "Do you love him?"

"Who?"

"Edward."

"Yes," I sighed, closing my eyes. "Too much, or I would have never let this happen."

"Does he love you?"

"Mmhmm. I think so, from what he says."

"Does _he _love you as much as _Jazz _loves you?"

I covered my face, trying not to cry. "I don't know."

"Oh Bella, I'm sorry sweetie," she grabbed my hand as we turned our heads to face each other. "I don't know what to tell you, hun. I know it's hard, especially being shacked up in this cabin together. But I think you should talk to Edward, before you tell Jasper... Find out where his head's at, before you figure out what you're gonna do."

I listened to her words carefully, and then laid in silence for a few minutes.

"But..." I whispered, cringing at my own thoughts, "...what if Edward came to his senses, and only wanted sex after all?"

"Then... maybe you'll have to really think about it before you go making a decision. I mean, if it was only a one time, get it out of the way, it was a great night but it'll never happen again moment... then maybe it isn't worth ending your relationship with Jasper over."

"...I'm so scared, Colleen. Scared of losing both of them, of breaking everyone's heart, including my own. I don't want to ache like that anymore. It took so long to mend myself together over Edward, and as soon as I did, what do I do? I go and have _sex _with him. God, I am such a hypocrite. I'm a horrible, evil person."

"No you're not Bella. A lot of people cheat, for different reasons. You've just got to figure out _your _reason. Was it because you wanted to be with Edward, like, forever? Or did you want him so you could stop wondering what it'd be like? I mean, now that the moment is done... and you're starting to see clearer... Once that fog is lifted, can you _honestly _see you and Edward working out together? Thinking back at all the fights you guys have had and the hurtful things you've done to one another?"

I pursed my lips. "I'm not sure."

"Then you definitely need to talk to Edward."

I nodded, and we laid in silence for a few more minutes.

"So," she said nonchalantly, and I knew what was coming. "How was he?"

I snickered. "_Amazing_. Better than my fantasies ever led on."

"Really? Hmm... Did you guys just do it, or was there some fun foreplay involved?"

I giggled again. "A _lot _of foreplay actually. He's the best kisser too, Colleen... especially when his lips go all over your body."

She squealed, "Oh you are in big trouble then! Men that can do _that _like _that_... mmm mmm mmm."

I sighed. "I know."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Helping Alice decorate the cabin for New Year's is almost signing up for a full time job. She never stops!

And as I've quickly learned, if Alice doesn't stop, we don't stop.

She's quicker than the speed of sound, and has the energy of a rechargeable battery.

It's a good thing she's light as air, since I've had to pick her up more times today than the total of weights I lifted last year.

She kept complimenting me on my outfit. I chose a simple yellow Hollister t-shirt, which conveniently seemed to match her shorts, and jeans.

I didn't see anything too big about it, but she seemed to like it.

And that made me smile.

Once I caught her this last time and sat her safely back to the ground, I figured it was time for a break.

"So Alice, do you think that we could stop for a second? Maybe go sit by the pool or something? Relax?"

She snickered. "Relax? What's that?"

I smiled at her, which she pleasantly returned.

"Okay fine, just give me one second. Let me hang this last black light, and we'll stop."

While she did, I put my favorite new CD in, by _Snow Patrol_. Everyone else stayed busy, including my friend Makin. I have no idea how Alice figured out who he was, how he was connected to me, or how she got him here... but she did. And I was grateful for her doing so. It felt good to have more people here. It wasn't so stuffy, and restricted.

Now only if Bella would get her booty down here. But she told Rosalie she would, as soon as that _Lifetime _movie was over.

Bella and the freakin' _Lifetime _channel. _I'll never understand it._

Alice jumped over and grabbed my arm when she was done, "Are you ready?"

I handed her a glass of lemonade I made for her and gave her my best smile. "Sure. Let's go."

I followed her out to the pool, amazed at how it was decorated and glowing even more. The water bounced off the walls in multi colors, thanks to her making Jacob switch the light covers inside the water. I looked up at the windows on the ceiling, watching the snow fall. She sprayed fake snow down the poles, on the trees, even on some bench seats.

She loved to decorate, I could tell.

The song switched to "_Open Your Eyes_", one of my favorite tracks to play on the guitar.

We sat across from each other on the chairs, smiling and drinking the lemonade as the song blasted through the speakers.

"So, you really love the holidays, don't you Alice?"

She smiled wide with a big nod. "Yes."

I chuckled at her, "Wow, that was a quick answer."

"Well you didn't ask a hard question."

"I suppose I didn't."

It got quiet as we took another drink.

"So... I think you're really gonna like your outfit I picked out for you. I didn't go too fancy for it, since you're already a gorgeous man and everything."

I looked up at her and she blushed, biting her lip and looking down.

She made me smile. "Gorgeous?"

She giggled in embarrassment, shying away and looking at her knees. "Did I say that out loud?"

"I think you did," I replied with a nod.

"Well... you weren't supposed to hear it. So there."

I laughed, and noticed the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed with me.

"You have really pretty eyes," I admitted, smiling on the inside when she blushed again.

"...um, thanks." She still wouldn't look at me.

I tilted my head down to her, trying to get her to look up at me. "It was a compliment. You shouldn't look away."

"Well, I just..."

"What? You don't know how to take compliments well?"

"No, that's not it," she replied shyly. "It's just... I don't know how to take compliments from you."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why's this?"

She shrugged, still unable to look at me. "I guess you sort of intimidate me."

I never heard that before. "What do you mean?"

"I am not sure... I'm cool around you with other people in the room... but when we're alone, I kind of get... nervous."

"Hmm," I pondered on that statement. "Well you shouldn't feel nervous around me. I don't feel that way with you."

She finally lifted her head. "No?"

I shook mine. "Not at all. And I normally am shy when I meet people, but with you, I can't really describe it. I'm always at ease. It's as simple as breathing."

She took a deep breath, thinking to herself.

She seemed puzzled.

And beautiful.

I shook my head, looking away from her. _What the hell is going on here?_

"So..." she said after a few more seconds. "Do you like blue?"

"As in the color?"

"Yes," she snickered.

"Yes, I love blue."

"Good, because that was the big color choice I put in your wardrobe for tomorrow night."

"Blue is my favorite color," I said softly.

"Then it will be perfect."

"I'm sure it will. I have faith in you."

She smiled at me, tilting her head. And I found it was so easy to get lost in her eyes.

_Seriously, what is going on here?_

"So um, w-what color is your, um, outfit?" I stammered.

She bit her lip and grinned. "It's blue."

_Go figure._

I nodded at her as I ran my fingers through my hair. The song was starting to speed up my heartbeat.

It was getting more intense between us.

You could feel it in the air.

"Do you, um... would you like to dance with me?"

I looked up at her, and our eyes connected. "...Here?"

She nodded nervously. "You know, as like, a practice?"

"Um..."

The lyrics hit me at that moment, as we looked at each other in silence:

_Take my hand, notch your fingers through mine, and we'll walk from this dark room, for the last time..._

_Every minute from this minute now, we can do what we like, anywhere. I want so much to open your eyes, because I need you to look into mine... Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. _

As the last line continued to repeat, I found myself standing up before I could even answer.

She watched as I held my hand out to her, and took it slowly. Her hand fit perfectly with mine, and it stopped my heart.

_...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes. ...Tell me that you'll open your eyes..._

Once that line finished and the bass kicked in, I pulled her to the side of the pool and placed my hands gently on her hips. We kept our eyes focused onto each other as she ran her hands over my chest and locked them gently behind my neck. I could feel my heart pounding out of my chest, and as she slowly stepped closer to me, I could feel hers bouncing against my body too.

And then we were dancing freely.

Like a movie couple. Like a newly married couple. Like it was meant to be this way, as shitty as it sounded, considering I was with Bella.

...But at this moment, everything and everyone else seemed non-existent.

Her body moved in sync with mine as we held each other close. She placed her head on my shoulder and I held her carefully and tenderly.

I could feel both our sets of heartbeats as we somehow gripped tighter to each other.

She felt amazing against me.

And she smelled absolutely incredible.

I sighed, because I knew the song was about to be over, and it almost made me sad. I didn't want it to be, it was too soon.

Reluctantly I slid my hands up her arms and cradled her face between my palms, pulling her back so I could look her in the eye.

We stared at each other as the lyrics soared over us, without any beat behind it: ..._Oh this feels strange and untrue, and I won't waste a minute ...without you..._

And then the song stopped.

And we didn't move.

Our lips were parted and we were taking shallow breaths in through our mouths. I could feel her hands on my shoulders, gripping securely.

This was so _weird_.

Why would this be happening now?

Why did all of this make complete sense, yet no sense at all?

_...Very strange and untrue, indeed._

I could hear Emmett and Jacob joking about the next mixed CD they were going to put in next, and it snapped us both out of our trance.

Alice cleared her throat and took a step back, her warm hands releasing from my body. "Um, thank you for the dance."

I nodded, as I slowly let my fingers slide down her face and leave her body.

"You're welcome," I whispered to her, unable to find my voice.

_Dillema_ by _Nelly _came on next, and we took a few more steps backward, allowing the gap between us to grow. We could hear the people in the den shouting and laughing, and it sounded like Edward and Emmett were back.

"Well, I guess we should get back in," I said after another minute.

She nodded, crinkling her forehead, "Uh, yeah, I agree."

I gave her a silent nod in return.

I stood still as she turned and shuffled past me toward the door. But I couldn't let her just leave like that.

I needed to say something, anything.

Tell her how much fun I was having hanging out with her, or just anything! _Speak, Jazz!_

"Hey, Jasper?" she said, twisting and turning away from the door.

I exhaled, "Yes?"

"Um, so I know you're going to most likely be with Bella for New Year's, especially around midnight... but I was sort of, _maybe _wondering ...if you'd maybe want to dance with me again? Tomorrow night? Um...once?"

I smiled and placed my hands in my pocket. "I'd love to. We have a date."

She pulled in her bottom lip as her eyes twinkled. "Great."

Then she turned and was gone.

I inhaled and exhaled a large gust of wind.

_We have a date? _

_What the fuck are you doing, Jasper?_

I growled and shook it off, flinging my arms in the air. _ It's just a dance, it's just a dance._

_You love Bella._

I really do. So I need to focus on that.

And I couldn't wait until I saw her.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Paul!" I shouted as we entered the door. I ran to him and jumped in his arms playfully, and he wound his arms around me as I threw my legs around him.

Everyone laughed at us, but it didn't phase us.

We fell to the ground, pretending to sob.

"I missed you so much man!" he said as he stroked my hair with his large palm.

I curled out my bottom lip. "I missed you too baby, don't you ever leave me again!"

"Okay, that's too much gayness for me," Rosalie said with a laugh.

We picked ourselves up and gave each other a real hug this time.

"So how you been?" Paul asked me with a chuckle.

"I'm good, real good. How are you?"

"The best, as always!"

Emmett and Dean came over as we continued our conversation. It felt good to have some other friends around, took the animosity away from the groups that was beginning to form here in the cabin. Plus, it was just really nice to be able to not carry on all my conversations with Alice. Not that I minded talking with Alice, it's just some things are easier being mentioned around men.

I felt warm surround me and smiled. Bella was coming in the room.

I lifted my head over the circle of my friends, and saw her strolling down the steps with a girl I didn't recognize. Her outfit matched mine, and she looked so beautiful, she took my breath away.

Once she reached the bottom of the steps, she saw me looking at her.

I smiled wider and gave her a slight nod.

I watched as her lips started to form in a smile, then she said something to that girl and they quickly veered to the left and entered the kitchen, to where I couldn't see her anymore.

This confused me.

_Did I just get dissed?_

Oh shit.

_This can't be good._

"Yo, E! Did you hear me?"

My head snapped over to Paul, and I raised my eyebrows, "What's that?"

"Dude, stop spacing. This shit is important."

"Sorry. What's up?"

"Are we gonna get some kegs, or just some cases of beer this year?"

"Well, I spoke with Carlisle, and he said he had it already covered. I think he ordered us some kegs, and some cases. Liquor and wine for the girls, and I'm not sure what else."

"That's why I love your dad, man. Is he coming out?"

I shrugged, "I invited him but he said he was pretty swept up in work. He'd try to make it here in about a week or so."

As they continued to talk, I found myself bending back, trying to see her through the shuffle of all the people in this mad-cabin.

I could see her friend sitting on the island, and Bella's arms flailing around as she talked, but couldn't see her body.

I frowned as my heart began to speed up.

Is she upset? Is she avoiding me?

_Well, I guess there's only one way to find out._ "Guys, I'm gonna go get us some beers. I'll be right back."

They nodded, and I felt my nerves kick in as I strolled through the sea of people, decorations, and boxes.

Her friend cleared her throat once she noticed me -- meaning she knows who I am -- and Bella stopped talking abruptly.

Shit. This was definitely bad.

I took a deep breath before I reached the tile, and gave Bella my warmest smile.

She smiled back, but it was an uncomfortable one.

"What's up?" I asked nonchalantly as I squeezed past Rosalie and Charlee, to get to the fridge.

She cleared her throat and fidgeted as she looked down. "Not much, how are you doing today?"

I pulled out some beers and turned around, leaning against the door. "I'm good. You look nice."

She bit her lip, continuing to avoid my gaze. "Thanks. Um, Colleen, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is my best friend from school, Colleen."

I smiled and slid over to her, holding out my hand. Colleen was a pretty girl, and seemed pretty sweet.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I said as she shook it.

"It's nice to meet you too. I've heard a lot about you."

I nodded, giving her a crooked smile, "Yeah, it comes with the consequences of being her... boyfriend, once."

I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to avoid making a fool out of myself. "But I hope to, you know, prove that I _am _a good guy, and banish some of the negativity I'm sure you've heard."

She nodded, "Well, I'll remember to keep score from now on."

I smirked. The girl was funny.

Then I stole a glance to my left, to see Bella shaking her head and looking down at her hands, which she was messing with. She seemed so uncomfortable.

_Was she regretting everything? Was I making her nervous? Uncomfortable?_

I couldn't stop worrying.

I made sure Rosalie wasn't paying attention to us, and then walked around the counter, to stand in front of her. "Hey. Are you alright today?"

She took a deep breath, proving that she wasn't.

"We need to talk, I think..." she whispered too softly for anyone to hear.

"Okay. Now?"

"Yes. I'll meet you upstairs, on the balcony in your room, in two minutes. Grab a jacket."

I nodded, and gave Colleen a smile before walking away.

I was nervous as shit. A jacket would not be necessary.

I handed the beers to the guys and snuck away as they continued to gossip about Alice's decorations and things in their lives, and made a beeline for the steps. I waited outside on the balcony with my hands in my pockets, bouncing around. It was freezing outside; I could see my breath easily. But I was so freaked out that my body heat was way above normal.

It seemed like those two minutes took a fucking light-year.

Finally, she bashfully slid outside in a heavy jacket, looking down as she shut the door.

I smiled at her, but the one she returned wasn't warm. It was incredulous.

I pursed my lips together and waited, wanting her to speak first. Because if I did, I knew it wasn't going to come out right.

She took a few deep breaths, shivering in her jacket. "Edward, I can't do this."

My stomach dropped. Completely.

I didn't expect it to come out like that, if it were to come out at all.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed and shook her head, looking out instead of at me. "I can't hurt Jasper, Edward. It isn't right for me to tell him, if we're not certain about anything."

I scoffed, pulling out a cigarette.

_This conversation went shitty quick_. "Bella, you've already hurt Jasper. The moment you snuck into my bedroom naked and woke me up."

She glared at me before glancing away again, "I realize that. But it's wrong and I just can't... face him."

Now I was pissed, and confused. "What about everything that you and I shared?"

She bit her lip, still unable to meet my eyes, "It was wonderful. But it was just for the night, I think."

"How do you figure?"

"Well, I figure... I..." she shook her head, "I don't _know _what I figure. This is just all confusing and wrong, and I should have never cheated on Jasper, especially with you, the guy and the ex-boyfriend that broke my heart, which he's _constantly _tried to repair for me. You're the guy he's constantly trying to prove that he's better than... If... If I were to tell him that you and I had sex, it would be as if everything he's done for me didn't mean anything, and that's not true."

I didn't reply for a while.

I didn't know what to say.

I just watched as she shivered and bounced from foot to foot.

Then I found myself shaking. "So then... you're telling me that you're never going to tell him. That you're going to pretend that you and I didn't happen?"

"No, we did happen once, Edward... but it was just a very long time ago."

"So you just used me then, is that it?"

She closed her eyes and looked down, shaking her head. "I didn't say that."

"No I'm pretty sure that's what you just fucking said, Bella."

"I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"Well it doesn't matter how you wanted it to fucking come out. If you're telling me that you're going to fucking pretend it didn't happen, and go on your merry little way with your Abercrombie boyfriend, then _yes_, I'd say that you were just using me."

"Why are you making this into such a big deal?! My God, Edward! It was one night!"

I took a step back, feeling my blood about to boil over, "Are you fucking kidding me, Bella? How in the hell do you expect me to act?"

"Like you understand!"

"Well I _don't _fucking understand!"

"What don't you get?!"

I glared at her now, worse than I did four years ago. "How in the hell do _you _think it is okay to come into _my _bedroom, wake me up, throw yourself at _me_, make _me _give in to you, and then the next night you tell me that you _don't _regret what we shared and _want _to be with me basically... and then now tell me that you want to pretend it didn't happen?!"

She closed her eyes again, scrunching her face in frustration.

"So what was I to you then Bella? Someone you could use? Was I like, I don't know, a pity fuck? Something you wanted to just get out of the way so you didn't have to wonder about it anymore?"

"I cannot believe you just said that," she replied, finally glaring back at me.

My voice came out through my teeth as I maintained to keep my anger in check. "Well, then why don't you fucking tell me what you want me to say then Bella? Do you want me to say that I understand that you fucking used me? That it's _okay_, and I can just fucking pretend it didn't happen too?"

She didn't move, just continued to stare at me.

"I can't fucking do that."

She was quiet when she finally spoke up. "What do you want from me, Edward?"

_God she was pissing me off_. "Well, this morning when I woke up, I wanted nothing more than to pull you inside my arms, tell you how much I've missed you all this time, and give you a reassurance that you and I would be okay. But now... I don't know what I want. You're obviously taking yourself down an entire different path than I thought you were going to choose."

"Jasper has been that one man in my life for three _years _now! He's been incredible, and honest, and sweet, and tender, and loving! He's been my rock, Edward! One of my best friends! He's my _boyfriend_! I can't just hurt him! I can't just throw it all away!"

"You all ready did, Bella! Why don't you get that?! You already hurt him, the moment you begged _me _to be inside of you!"

She was in tears as she looked away, crossing her arms over her chest.

But I was beyond hurt at this moment and I couldn't stop. "But oh wait, what am I _thinking_? That didn't _happen_, right?! You didn't make love to me, you didn't fall asleep in _my _arms, and sure as _shit _didn't fucking tell me that you were going to go tell your _boyfriend _every fucking thing so _we _could try to work this out! And you also didn't fucking lead me on, right? Because I have to pretend it didn't fucking happen. That's what you want, right?"

She nodded slowly. "...I shouldn't have done it, Edward."

"Besides Jasper's feelings, give me one good _fucking _reason why _not_, Bella," I sneered at her.

"Because we didn't work out the last time. Because we don't know each other anymore. Because there was too much drama, and too much pain in the four years that we were apart, and we may not work out even if we tried to this again, and I'm not willing to..." her voice trailed off, but I got it.

"You're not willing to risk your happy little set-up you have so you could run back to your asshole ex-boyfriend, right? Just in case _I _fuck up your life again, right?"

Now she was back to not looking me in the eye. "I really wish I would have done this differently, Edward... I _wouldn't _have done it, actually. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Yeah, well it's too _fucking _late now, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry," she replied as she wiped away her tears. "I think it's for the best... for all of us."

All I could do is glare at her.

Stare her down.

Because I must be dreaming, if this shit was happening.

I felt like my heart had been thrown inside a blender with some rocks and knives.

This morning when I woke up, I wanted to find her immediately and tell her how much I was in love with her. How much she meant to me. How I couldn't wait until I could hold her in my arms again, and wake up beside her. That I'd be willing to fight Jasper for her, or anyone else who tried to get in our way.

That I was sorry and I'd dedicate my life to making up all the stupid things I did wrong in the past.

...And now, all I wanted to do was cuss her out, and shake her half to death, and make her realize what the hell she was doing to me.

Because she was breaking my heart all over again.

She continued to sob at the silent treatment I was giving her.

We didn't speak for a good five minutes, as I stood my ground, trembling with my chest aching, as I gave her death glances.

"I really do love y-"

"Don't you _fucking _say that," I cut her off, my voice shaking through my anger.

Her voice became weaker. "...It's true though."

"No it isn't. If it were true, we wouldn't be having _this _conversation. You wouldn't be picking _him_. You wouldn't be crying right now, and you damn sure wouldn't be breaking my heart into a million fucking pieces."

"I just don't see how it's going to work out between us... How people would accept us, like Rosalie and Jacob... It'd just create more problems for everyone."

Well that threw me off too. "Who the fuck cares what anyone else says? You sure as shit didn't think about all that before you woke me up, Bella!"

"I know and I'm sorry! I'm _SORRY_! I don't know what else I can say to you besides I'm sorry that I hurt you."

"You're not sorry, Bella! You're not sorry if you're choosing him! You're not sorry if you're using me."

"Fine. Then I'm not sorry," she replied sarcastically.

My heart stopped as reality settled in on me.

"So... you're saying that you _don't _want me?"

She took a deep breath. "...No. I don't. I-I can't."

I stormed over to her and willed her face to look at me, as my anger boiled over and came out full force. "Fuck you, Bella."

She looked shocked as her swollen eyes stared into my tense ones. "Edward, I know you're pissed at me, but it -"

"Just shut up," I spat at her. "I get it. By telling me all this shit, and making up all these God-dammed _excuses _about what other people think or about our past... by pretending it _didn't _happen, _Bella_, is just like telling me 'FUCK YOU', just not in so many words."

"I'm s-sorry," she cried out in a whisper.

I rounded my shoulders and took a step back, regaining my poker-faced composure.

If she wanted me to forget it, then it was forgotten.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she kept whispering as she sobbed.

"Sorry about _what_?" I replied icily. "Nothing happened, remember?"

She whimpered and turned toward the door, "Yeah... Nothing happened."

I nodded and opened the door for her.

She was waiting on me to say something, but I just glared at her, saying all I had to get out with my eyes.

I was beyond shook up and too broken to speak.

Taking my silence as a hint, she nodded and walked through the door.

I watched as she stepped out of the room, and then all the heaviness swam over me.

It hit me hard and cold.

And it burned.

And I was empty.

Because Bella just truly ripped my heart from my chest.

Worse than the first time.

Because when I was with her _this _time, I _knew _I was in love, and the feelings were much more intensified.

And now they were gone.

And I was slapped in my face.

I rubbed my eyes a few times, forcing myself to hold back the tears.

Then I decided to lash out on my anger when I couldn't hold it in anymore.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

We were all downstairs having a good time.

And I couldn't help but notice how close Jasper stood next to me.

And how warm my body felt when he was near.

And how easy the desire came over me when our arms brushed slightly.

His best friend Makin was adorable, and just as southern as he was. They both had adorable accents and blonde hair, but Makin's was straight.

They both had square jaws and beautiful eye lashes.

But Jasper's was much more delicate, and sexy.

I found myself staring at him more times than I should.

But Bella didn't seem to be around him much today, so I figured, hell, someone needs to stare at him. He deserves to be gawked at. Too beautiful to pass up!

Makin was telling me about an old fishing trip they took when they were kids, and how Jasper fell into the lake when he tried to save a fish, and we were laughing so hard that I was almost in tears as I watched Jasper's face turn red through his laughter.

Bella came running down the steps. Her face was red, and I thought she was angry and took a step away from Jasper just in case, but then noticed her storm over to her friend Colleen and they both flew to the den.

Okay, so she didn't even glance at Jasper. _Odd_.

With that note, I could hear something breaking from upstairs.

We all stopped talking as the smashes grew louder and I could hear Edward cussing.

Emmett, Paul, and Dean shoved through us to make their way to him, and I followed them, tracing their steps until we were in Edward's bedroom.

They swung open the door in just enough time to see Edward smashing his electric guitar onto the wall repeatedly, his face red and his eyes coal black.

They ran over to him while I shut the door behind me, making sure no one else could get in.

There were broken picture frames scattered around the room, pieces of wood everywhere.

The only thing that seemed untouched was his acoustic guitar.

Once the electric guitar was shredded, he started to work on the lamp on top of the dresser, but Emmett caught it as Dean pulled Edward away, cradling his arms around his chest and shoving him backward.

I had my hand over my mouth as I watched them have to literally pull him to the ground.

They kept telling him to calm down, calm down, but he just continued to curse and growl.

Paul jumped in and helped them, pinning him on his stomach.

Edward stopped talking once his head was held into the carpet, breathing heavily.

He looked so angry, and broken... Then I remembered Bella storming down the stairs...

_Oh my gosh, did they get into a fight? Did he tell her how he felt about her, and she deny him?_

I began to sob while I remained in shock as I watched him bury his face into the white carpet, not fighting against them any more.

One by one, the men slowly pulled themselves off of him, until he was lying on the floor motionless.

"Edward?" I asked as I slowly climbed to my knees and crawled over to him. "Are you okay?"

He shook his head, and I could hear him crying into the carpet. Oh my gosh, he was so hurt.

I glanced over at Emmett, who was rubbing his face, then Paul, who had his arms crossed uncomfortably, and then to Dean, who seemed as shocked as I did.

Then anger washed over me, and I wanted to go downstairs and kill Bella, for whatever she did to him.

I carefully began to rub Edward's back, and noticed the shirt was sticking to him, since his body heat was so overcharged.

"Edward?" I whispered again, scooting closer as I ran my fingers through the back of his hair.

After I made sure he wasn't going to flip out again, I slid closer and picked him up, laying his head onto my lap.

"Edward, what happened?"

"This is why I don't fucking let my guard down," he whispered shakily as he rubbed his eyes on my jeans. "You can't get hurt if you don't let your guard down."

I kept my voice gentle as I stroked his hair, "Edward did you and Bella get into an argument?"

He nodded.

"...Did you tell her how you feel?"

He nodded again.

"And it didn't go over well?"

He shook his head.

"Are you sure it wasn't just a little disagreement? Maybe she was just upset over something that s-"

"She doesn't want me, Alice." He wiped his face after he turned it, staring out the glass door to his balcony. "She made that clear today."

"Maybe she'll change her mind once she processes things?"

"We slept together, Alice."

My stomach flipped as my heart steadied. "What?"

"Yeah. The other night. ...She cheated on Jasper with me."

"Edward, why would you _do _that?"

"I didn't start it, Alice. I swear... And I didn't push it, or anything else... It was all her... and once I realized that it was what she wanted, and realized that she wanted to be with me... I caved in. Because I loved her... and now she basically told me to pretend it didn't happen, because she was choosing Jasper. She doesn't want me."

I was shocked. I didn't know what to say.

I watched as Emmett kneeled on the other side of Edward, rubbing his back, "Man, I'm sorry. I didn't know you two slept together; I just thought it was a kiss..."

"I wanted to respect her, Emmett."

"Yeah, I understand."

Emmett frowned at me, and I shook my head at him. I wanted to kill Bella.

Severely.

Not only did she fuck with my best friend, which was the biggest no-no in my book, but she also cheated on one of the greatest men on this fucking planet.

After a few minutes of us all being quiet and comforting him, he slowly sat up.

He rubbed his face, shaking his head. "I'm so stupid. Crying like a little fucking baby and shit."

"Edward, it's hard. We get it," Dean said.

"Yeah man. She broke your heart," Paul concluded.

"Yeah and she's a fucking bitch," I sneered out.

"Alice," Emmett warned.

"Well I'm sorry, but she is. This is _wrong_, on too many levels. All she wanted to do was point fingers at him, blame him for shit that she did too, and he hasn't done jack shit to hurt her in years. She wanted to dwell on the past and point fingers... Never date anyone that reminded her of him... and then we get here, and it all changes. He realizes he loves her, and tells her. And when he lets his guard down, she goes and does _this_?! You've got to be fucking kidding me. She's the worst kind of person right now."

Edward tugged on his copper hair, looking over at his busted guitar. "Well, it's over now."

We all sat silent for a few minutes, not sure where to go from here.

Edward slowly stood to his feet, and then began to pick up the guitar. We all followed his lead, picking up the scraps of wood pieces and strings and picture frames.

He didn't speak another word.

Neither did we.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Makin was cracking me up when he continued to tell Alice my childhood stories. I don't know why it embarrassed me so much to have her know, but it did.

And I didn't like it.

After she left suddenly, we continued to discuss things in our past, laughing as we downed some Coors Light.

It felt good to have my best buddy with me.

I watched as Bella and Colleen talked in the den, and caught a glance at her face, noticing that she looked upset.

I cleared my throat and excused myself from the conversation, giving Jacob a nod before walking over toward the girls.

"Hey," I said as I slowly sat down beside her on the leather couch.

Colleen straightened her back up as she sat on the coffee table across from us, and smiled at me, leaning over to rub my knee.

I heard Bella whimper as she tried to cover the fact that she had been crying, by turning to wipe her face on her sleeve.

I glanced back over at Colleen, and mouthed _Is she okay?_ to her.

She shrugged with a frown.

_Oh shit._

"Baby?" I whispered as I rubbed her back. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, placing her elbows on her knees and cradling her face in her hands.

"I just have a headache," she replied through a sob.

It definitely seemed like more than a headache.

"Well, I'm sure being down here with all the loud people and loud music isn't helping you then."

She wiped her face before looking up at Colleen weakly.

"Come on sweetheart," I sad as I handed Colleen my beer bottle.

I scooped my hand under Bella's body and lifted her off the couch and in my arms. "Let's go upstairs, get you away from the crowd for a minute."

She shook her head and began crying heavier as she buried her face in my shoulder.

Colleen followed me through the crowd and up the stairs, and I noticed Makin trailing behind too.

I opened the door and gently laid her on the bed, climbing up beside her as Colleen put my beer on the nightstand and her and Makin went over to the other side of the long bedroom, out of hearing range.

I moved her hair off of her sticky face, and she began to cry again.

I tried to scoot closer to her and pull her into my body, but that made her crying worse.

It seemed like anytime I touched her, it made her tears come out harder.

"Shhh," I whispered as I placed my mouth to the side of her head, "shhh, angel. I've got you."

She cried heavier, gripping my shirt in her hands.

"Jasper," she said, squeezing me tighter, "I love you. Please _know _that I love you."

I became confused as I nodded, giving her my strongest hug. "I know you do Bella. I love you too."

Again, that made it worse.

_What was going on?_

"Tell me what's the matter, baby. Let me make it better."

She shook her head as her left hand clung to my shirt and her right hand tangled in my hair. "You can't."

"Of course I can. It's what I do," I tried to joke.

It didn't work.

"I just want to forget about it, forget _all _about it and everything else but you... Because _you _are what's important."

"Okay..." I replied hesitantly, leaning over her and throwing the cover over our bodies.

I let her sob and cry it all out, which took a good ten minutes or so.

By this time, Colleen and Makin left the room.

And it became awkwardly silent.

But she never released her grip on my shirt.

And she never pulled away.

I kissed her head over and over, trying to pour out all the love I had for her.

Prove to her that I was there for her.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered.

I pulled my face back, wiping under her swollen eyes. "Yes you do."

"No, I don't."

She seemed so matter-of-fact-like.

I didn't like it.

"Bella, you _do _deserve me. We have a wonderful thing here. All I want to do is make you happy."

She closed her eyes as her chin began to quiver, and I'm sure she was about to cry again, if her eyes weren't dried out completely.

"I just love you so much," she whispered. "You're too good for me and I hate everything I've done."

"No I'm not," I replied softly. "Don't ever think that, Bella. If anything... _you're _too good for _me_."

She shook her head.

I frowned at her before pressing my lips to her warm forehead. "You're so silly, Bella."

"I can't tell you anything, but I wish I could, so you could tell me you forgave me for being so fucking _stupid_."

I nodded, inhaling her strawberry scent as I pulled her closer to me, under the covers. "Okay. Then I forgive you."

"...You can't."

"I just did."

"But you don't even know why you'd be forgiving me, and if you did, then you most definitely wouldn't be sayin-"

I cut her off by gently covering her mouth with my hand. "Bella. I forgive you. I don't _care _what you did, or what you said, or anything else... It's just you and me now, and that's all I care about, okay?"

She closed her eyes and I could hear her swallow hard.

"_Okay_?" I pushed again.

"Yes," she barely let out.

"Okay. Now come here and hug me."

Her weak body climbed over me as I rolled on my back, lifting her over my body so I could hold her tight.

She shivered as I squeezed her tight.

But I wasn't about to let her go. Not until she learned that I wasn't kidding.

That I was going to be here for her.

And I wanted to make her happy.

After about a half hour, she finally relaxed, placing her head on my shoulder as she ran her finger along my shirt.

We didn't have to speak.

It felt good just being around each other.

And I felt reassured then that she didn't want to be with Edward, because by the way she was acting, she only wanted to be with me.

So all my insecurities about the wreck and the two of them bonding over my allowance went out the window.

She really _did _choose me.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**-- Oh Jasper, you poor little oblivious soul. :(  
-- And poor Edward, he was having such a wonderful day. :(**

**So there we go, Chapter 08! Instead of addressing questions you've asked in reviews down here like I do for other stories, I will be placing them into the story... so make sure to keep an eye out for that!**

**-- So there we go! I hope you've continued to enjoy the twists.**

**Reviews are better than a slow practice dance between Jasper and Alice. :D**


	9. Storm Clouds

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for being my TWIN! You make me smile girl, but you knew that all ready. **:D **--- see? *_giggles_*

**And** **To my Readers/"Fans": WOW guys! 700+ reviews and counting! I love you all! Plus, important announcement under the chapter. Please take the time to read!**

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**

So I went over and over in my head about doing this. I enjoy writing long chapters for this story... but as I started to write the NYE party, I began to receive more and more mixed reviews and pms. And since my readers are so important to me, I wanted to go ahead and upload this snippet that was meant to be a part of the next chapter... so things could be clarified. I wanted to explain things that I feel may have been shoved on a back burner, which was MY mistake. This way, you'll have a better understanding of Bella and Edward's CURRENT mindframe.  
And this way, the next chapter can be dedicated to the party!! I know you're all looking forward to it!! *squee* So am I!!

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**Chapter Nine: The night before New Year's Eve. SHORT CHAPTER.**

**Things become clear, for Bella's reasons and Edward's understanding. Alice also expresses her reasons.  
A much needed explanation. Both POVs.**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**I know you didn't bring me out here to drown...  
So why am I ten feet under, and upside down?  
Barely surviving has become my purpose...  
because I'm so used to living underneath the surface.  
...If I could just see you, then everything would be all right.  
If I see you, this darkness would turn to light.  
And I... would walk on water.  
And you would catch me, if I fall...  
And I will get lost into your eyes...  
And everything... would be alright.**_

_**Lifehouse, "Storm"**_

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**Chapter Nine: Storm Clouds**

**BellaPOV**

After Jasper fell asleep and the downstairs settled down from people's exhaustion, I climbed off of him and pulled myself out of the bedroom. Colleen and Makin were curled up on the couch together, which didn't surprise me at all. They have always clicked, ever since Jasper and I began hanging out. My best friend, his best friend... made perfect sense.

They have just never told each other how they felt.

Not that I could talk.

I stole a glance at the grandfather clock above the fireplace before I headed into the kitchen. It was a little after two in the morning. It was New Year's Eve.

I sighed and flipped on the light, to find Emmett leaning against the counter with a sandwich.

"Emmett?" my scratchy voice said as I rubbed my eyes. "What are you doing awake?"

He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders, "Couldn't sleep. I'm waiting on Rosalie to get out of the shower so I can have someone to play with."

"Oh."

I walked over to the fridge and opened it up, squinting once the bright lights soared over my face.

"Rough night?" he asked as he took another bite.

"You could say that."

"I haven't seen you around a lot lately... been hiding?"

I shrugged and pulled out some orange juice, "I've slipped back into my _suffer in silence_ mode."

"Ahh."

I poured myself a glass of OJ, grimacing at the thought of his eyes burning through the back of my head. I could practically feel the heat.

I shrugged it off and returned the carton to the fridge, taking a large sip.

"I was just wondering if had anything to do with Edward."

I about choked, coughing heavily. I patted my chest and shook my head quickly.

"W-why would you, _ahem_...t-think that?" I asked through my burning throat.

Emmett let out a big gust of wind as he pulled himself up to sit on the counter. "Because for the second time in my life, I had to pick my best buddy off of the floor because of you."

I closed my eyes, feeling the ache in my chest. "Emmett, you don't know anything ab-"

"Okay well let me tell you what I _do _know, Bella," he cut me off, hissing at me. "I know that you two used to be together. I know that shit happened and it ended badly, for the both of you. I know you were both devastated. I know that you blamed each other and refused to tie yourselves down with anyone else because you two have some kind of angst romance that you both can't seem to get over. And I know you're the _only _girl he has ever loved-"

"But that doesn't m-"

"Let me finish!" he shouted, his hand up in the air. "I'm not done. I know that you're the only girl on this entire _fucking _planet that he ever loved, and I know you cheated on your boyfriend with him the other night... And _then_, after you let him believe that you wanted to be with him again and could forgive him for all the shit _he _had done wrong to _you_, you turned around and slammed it in his face again, and told him you didn't want him."

I glared at him, as my eyes filled up with tears and I tightened my grip on the plastic cup I was holding.

"You _used _him, Bella. In a really shitty, nasty, fucking _evil _way."

"Emmett, you weren't there," I whispered through my teeth. "You have no idea what I am dealing with either."

He looked at me sarcastically. "Why don't you enlighten me, Bella?"

"Why?"

"Because I want to hear you explain this to me. Let it out."

I swallowed, clamping my eyes shut tight. "I _do _love him. More than anything. And I do-"

"Bella, please spare me the tidbits."

I glared at him, getting frustrated. "Fine. You want to know? I'll tell you. I had everything planned out. I have a career ahead of me, which I have dreamed about since I was a child. I wanted to see my ideas on commercials, on movies, on billboards. Advertising was all I wanted to do. And I did it well."

He nodded, still glaring at me.

"I own my house, which I share with my sister. I have my own car, which is about to be paid off. I don't bounce my checking account every other weekend, and I don't have a million credit cards drowning me. Everything else in my life is set... except for love."

"I'm listening."

I glared at him again. "Ever since I ran into Edward at that club, I was irritated. Everything about Tanya and all of our flights crossed over my mind again. All the hurt, all the pain... _everything_. I know I fucked up when Edward and I first started dating with Jacob, but that was way different. I was young. And stupid and naive. And I busted my ass to prove to Edward that I wanted him. And I did, because he was that missing piece in my life. And it sucked when we broke up... and it tore me apart. No matter how much I try to shake it off, I can't. Because I had never loved _anyone _like I loved Edward Cullen."

He nodded.

"And let me tell you something else... We had slept together for the first time on my eighteenth birthday. In _this _cabin! And in the middle of it, it was hurting too much for me, so we stopped. He said he could wait, and that it wasn't important to him. And for the next four or five months, Edward refused to try again, saying he didn't want to hurt me and he didn't think we were ready yet. So, a while after winter break, I kept pushing him and pushing him to try again with me. But he couldn't. I even went as far as buying the lingerie and heels and sneaking to his bedroom, planning this whole seduction thing. We got all the way to the main act and right as we were about to actually try again, he stopped. Rejection swam over me cold and fast. The next night, I had a party. And guess what?"

He swallowed hard, knowing what was coming.

"That's right. He hooked up with Tanya. Not even twenty-four hours after he rejected _me_, his girlfriend of almost four years, he goes and hooks up with the girl who had tried for _months _to be _my _best friend. And I found them in the bathroom, beside my dead father's bedroom, in my dead father's house."

" But Bella, -"

"No you let me talk Emmett!" I spat back at him. "So I swung open the door after Angela had told me she saw him go in there with her fifteen minutes ago. He had his pants dropped to his ankles, his shirt off, her shirt off, and she had her nasty bare ass with her skirt hiked up her waist, in the middle of the bathroom sink with her arms and legs wrapped around him. The music had been so loud and we were all so drunk, they didn't even hear me come in! So there they were, with their tongues rammed down each other's throats and his erection visible through his boxers...."

I closed my eyes, flashing back to that night as I calmed my voice down, "...and do you want to know something? The first thought I had _wasn't _of anger. Or jealousy. ...It was a mere realization... that I _wasn't _what he wanted. I mean, if he could reject me like that, when I had tried for _so _hard and _so _long to be with him in all the ways possible, and give in to her advances in one night ...then all my fears and insecurities of not being good enough for him weretrue."

I felt the tears slide down my heated cheeks, but I swiped them away.

"For years after that, even when I was with other people... that stuck. I'd always wonder if I was good enough for them either. Always wonder if they had some blonde girl they would be more interested in, just waiting on the sidelines for me to fuck up.... Jasper too. And it confused me, because everything in my life was settled. I wasn't stressed out like other kids, didn't have to worry about money or bills... Just love."

I frowned, thinking of the mess I put myself in.

"I never got over Edward, Emmett... Ever. He was in every dream still, every thought that crossed my mind... Sure, you know, I learned how to eventually be happy without him, and I had some pretty sweet boyfriends... but that insecurity and those fears never went away. And when I ran into Edward at the club and Tanya came over there and threw herself at him in front of me, just to spite me, it was as if I never left high school, and all those feelings resurfaced. I was back to comparing myself to her, back to wondering why in the hell he was still with her if he didn't care about her. And I slapped him on the face. Because I was in that mind-set that we were in high school all over again..."

I closed my eyes as my voice became a weakened whisper, "And then we started to ease up on each other once we got here. Tried to make the best of an uncomfortable situation. After the lap dance and the argument, I found myself forgiving him. And I really _did _mean it when I said I forgave him... And I remember feeling so warm as he stood in front of me, after we apologized. I remember thinking, wow... all these years, and that wasn't so hard... By then he had ended things with Tanya... And then I found out about him and Alice, and I felt so _jealous _of her... I knew I shouldn't have, because I have a _wonderful _man who loves me more than life itself... but I couldn't help it... I tried to support her and him, tried to encourage her... I guess I felt that if I pushed the two of them together and saw it for myself, knowing that she was good for him... then I could officially move on. One hundred percent..."

He nodded, swallowing hard as he listened to me. His eyes seemed sad but he didn't speak.

And it felt good to get it all of my chest.

"Then we got into that accident with your Jeep.... A-And..." my chin began to quiver as the tears streamed out, "... and all I could think about was my dad, and then about Edward... I just wanted him to get there and ease that ache in my chest. So he called me when he was on his way, and I felt so relieved... Emmett, you don't understand... I had never, _ever _felt so scared and so calm at the same time like that! And I could feel my body tense up as the seconds flew by, because I knew he was getting closer to me, and he would be that only person that could take it all away..."

He hopped off the counter and walked over to me, giving me a slight hug.

"A-and all I could think about was him making it there without getting hurt, and how heartbroken I would be if he wrecked his car. I didn't even think about Jasper, not once! I mean, I guess maybe that I was glad he was coming with Edward and glad he was safe, but _he _wasn't my main concern... Edward was... All at that moment, it _all _came back to me... Not all the anger or the fights or any of that we had gotten into while we were together or whatever... No, it was all the _love _that I held for him for so long crashing back over me in one quick moment... And when he finally got there, it was as if Jasper, Rosalie... everyone else disappeared. I watched as he helped all those people and panicked when he crossed the street.... All I wanted to do was jump into his freaking arms and tell him right then and there that I was sorry for all of my insecurities and my stupid things I did when we were together before... Apologize for all of the stupid arguments I started with him in high school... Apologize for every little thing that I had done wrong, because I always knew it wasn't just him that was the bad guy. I was just as guilty. I was just as stupid... and I never really appreciated him when I had him... Not as much as I could have, you know? Because we were too young..."

Emmett nodded, holding me tighter while I sobbed in his chest.

"...And after he got the Jeep out, I couldn't handle it anymore. I pretended it didn't bother me, for Jasper's sake, but I was dying to go over there and be with him, show him how bad I cared for him, and how thankful I was for him to be there with me... And so when Jasper told me to go, I felt my heart rise up and the butterflies and all that electricity that Edward and I seem to share just yank me out of the car and toward him. I didn't stop running until I caught up with him. And after we fell over, thanks to my clumsiness, he tried to take care of me. Wiping off my hands with his gloves, making sure I was safe before he put me in the car... "

I stopped talking so I could pull back and look at Emmett in the face, through my puffy eyes.

"We were in the car on the way back here... and we were talking and laughing like we used to... and that draw to him... that constant pull got stronger and stronger... and before I knew it, I was holding his hand. And I couldn't help but notice how perfect mine fit into his... like puzzle pieces. Like destiny... and Emmett, it scared the shit out of me. It did, because I wasn't used to feeling like this again. I didn't know what to do! Then all these mix of emotions between Jasper and I and then Edward and I swam over me and I felt like I was drowning."

"Because on one end, I had a great boyfriend who had loved me and had been my best friend for three years... and I could see my future with him being completely secure, and safe. I could see us raising kids in a wonderful home, full of love and laughter and movie nights. I saw us holding hands and going to their soccer practice and dance recitals... Growing old together as we sat on the swing, looking down to our grandchildren... It all seemed so sweet and honest... and perfect."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Then I saw Edward. And I saw a _real _life. I saw the ups and downs of a relationship, and of a marriage. I saw us fighting about finances, and about him working for long hours at the hospital, and me being so lonely without him there... Crying in the empty bed, waiting for the hours to tick by until he came home, just so I could sleep better... Because I knew I would once he held me, you know? ....I saw him making breakfast for our two-year-old little girl while he gave me an extra hour of sleep because he knew I'd need it... I saw him coming in and laying down with me in bed when I had the flu, and taking care of me... I saw him storming out of the house after we got into a really bad fight... and I saw our beautiful make-up sex. And then..."

I closed my eyes as the tears overflowed, pouring out harder than ever, "...I-I saw him standing over my casket, after I was gone. He was much older and crinkled, but still as beautiful... and I saw him crying and sobbing, telling me he had only loved me in all these years, and that I was the only one that could make his smile real... and then, as his tears fell, he reached out to take my lifeless hand in his warm... and he said that I didn't have to be scared, because he'd come up there soon, and find me all over again... and we'd be together forever in heaven..."

I couldn't talk anymore, as tears overtook me. Emmett allowed me to cry on him for minutes, not saying anything other than slight whispers that I was okay.

He sat down on the tile floor, and let me sit in his lap as I continued to cry.

"Emmett... all those confusing feelings kept drowning me... and I knew I'd have a safe life with Jasper, and I'd never have to worry about anything... I knew it'd be cookie-cutter and like something out of a fairy tale... but I wasn't sure if I wanted that... But I wasn't sure if I didn't want that either... and then, as time passed, I became more confused. I had no one to talk to about it, because Rosalie would kill me and Jacob would kill Edward for any reason he could... but all I could think about was that gravitational pull to him. I thought about how he played the guitar after my dad's funeral, and about all the times Edward was there for me... And then I found out he never took off that damn necklace, after all these years...."

I sobbed, shaking my head, "...and all I could think about was, maybe... maybe now we could have that moment I longed for, for so many years... maybe I could show him that I never let him go... Whether it be physical or not... Because I wanted to prove to him how much I loved him, since I couldn't say it with my mouth... And after I soaked in the bathroom for hours, something just came over me... I wanted to be with him. And at that moment, I didn't care about anything else, about any of the repercussions that could come my way... all I wanted was to live out my fantasy of that real life and real marriage with Edward... if only for one night. I wanted to pretend that he was my husband and I was his wife, and that we somehow got back together because of destiny... And I didn't care if it was only one night... I just wanted it to be memorable."

"And it was," Emmett finished.

I nodded. "Yes. And that's why it's so hard, because I'm _afraid _of all the scary parts of that real life with Edward... as much as I'd rather have them, than to know my life would be perfect without any hardships when I was with Jasper... it still scared me. I didn't _want _to fight with Edward, didn't _want _to hurt him... and I didn't want to hurt Jasper either. I just became so lost, you know? It was as if everything started spinning around and around and around in my head, and I didn't know what was up and what was down..."

I shook my head, burying my face into my clammy hands. "What am I going to do, Emmett?"

He took a steady breath as he continued to rub my back, "I have no idea... I honestly didn't expect all of that to come out. I just thought you used him, honestly."

"I'd never use Edward. And I didn't mean it when I told him I didn't want him... I _do _want him and I always will... But I don't know if I will be able to handle all the fights we'll have, all the angry words we'll say to each other during our lives if we were together... just facing him today and seeing how heartbroken he became... that was enough to _kill _me... I mean, what if five years down the road when we're married and have a three-year old who is fussy and a newborn baby who won't stop crying, and he's working a double at the hospital and I just got home from my advertising meeting, and we just can't seem to catch a break and just... blow up at each other? Or the kids? I just don't want to... I don't know what I want. I mean, I do, but I don't know what Edward wants... I'm willing to fight for it, but is he? Because if he's not, then I don't want to waste my time on someone who doesn't really know if he can stick it out with me..."

"I understand your dilemma. I understand why you're having a hard time picking a life of happiness and security, verses a life of ... well... unpredictable fights, and sometimes-insecure-but-oh-so-undeniable-and-passionate-love."

I nodded, wiping my tears away as I became drained. "I really do love him."

"Bella, let me give you some advice."

"Okay."

"Life's shitty," he chuckled. "...I mean it. It can be really fucking hard, and can flip you in any direction that it chooses, without any amount of warning. It can pull on your limbs until you feel you're going to break. It can drown you, slam you into walls, bury you under fifty feet of thick concrete... it can make you wish you were dead..."

I nodded, understand him completely.

"But..." he continued, "it can also make you smile. You could be having the worse day of your life, be stacked up to your nose in bills and problems, and then all of a sudden... you see your baby girl smile at you after she woke up from a nap, or your husband walk in that front door with dandelions he picked from the neighbor's yard after he _too _had a shitty day in the office... and all of that animosity goes right out of the window. People fight. They get on each other's nerves. They say things they regret. They bicker and shout and scream and hit and push until they have nothing left..."

He smiled, "But I think we do that to prove to ourselves that we're human, and we all have feelings. We all break down, and we all pick ourselves back up... We have these down times so that we can learn to gain strength in our moments of weakness... so we can learn to appreciate the things we took for granted once... And when you have someone who can share all of those things with you -- the good days, the sad days, the heartbreaking days, the joyful days -- it really makes it worthwhile. Because you know that no matter how bad it gets, that someone is going to be there to hold your hand, that has shared all of those things with you. That person is going to be the one who gives you a hug after you've crumbled to the ground, and tell you that if you fall, they fall too. But they won't let you quit, because the two of you are going to get through that together... There's always that reassurance, and the proof that their love is undeniable."

I absorbed each of his words astonishingly. I never knew he could talk like that, or think like that. This was a completely other side of Emmett that I had ever seen. And I loved him for showing it to me.

"And to be honest," he continued as he hugged me tight, "I wouldn't want a life where I couldn't experience the bad things... because without any heartbreak or suffering, there'd be no love, or understanding, or compassion. We would all take everything for granted, because it'd come to us easily. And what fun is that, without some sort of chase involved?"

I snickered, as my face became dry. "I guess I never thought of it that way."

"Well," he whispered as he moved my hair off of my shoulder, "sometimes you have to think outside of the box."

I nodded, taking a few moments of silence to ponder every thing he's said.

"So, I'm guessing Edward hates me completely now," I sighed, slouching over in his lap.

"No," he replied. "He was pretty upset. He cried it out with me and Alice and a few of his friends, and then he -- just like you -- became still and calm, because he had no more tears to let out. And he put some thought into everything, and he told us he wasn't mad at you anymore, and that he understood..."

"Yeah, but he doesn't know how I feel, Emmett. You're the only person I told this to."

"Yeah, but he knows how he feels, Bella. Edward isn't the type to hold a grudge on you, even when he tries desperately to do so. Sure, he may bring shit up during the middle of an argument, but that's because he's a man, and we do that. But to be honest... you could kick him down stairs, break all his fingers, punch him in the nose, shit on his face, and stab him in the balls... and I'd think the man would still love you."

I giggled, rubbing my eyes, as I sighed heavily.

Then I felt weak again. "I don't deserve it though. I don't deserve Edward...and I know that."

"Yeah well... maybe it's not up to _you _to decide whether or not you deserve Edward... because _technically_, wouldn't that be _his _decision on whether or not he wanted to stick it out?"

I frowned but nodded. "I guess."

"Yeah... and Bella, I know why you love Jasper too. I can see how good of a guy he is... but if I'm being honest, I don't think you want Jasper like that. I think you could possibly love him eighty percent of the way... but it'd never be that full, fire-scorching, need-to-have-him-every-day desire... and no one deserves to be committed and loved three-fourths of the way."

"Yeah..."

"And I think that if you were to cut him loose, then you could love him a hundred-percent of the way.... as that best friend of his. And that would mean more to him than being dragged along... trust me, we're men and we try to be all strong and carefree... Well, all I can say is, we may appear to be rock-stern, but all we want is to be loved as well. To have that warm body curl up next to us... and to know that we are needed too."

I licked my lips and ran my fingers through his hair. "I know."

"You'll do the right thing. You just can't rush it."

I sighed as he picked me up and rose to his feet, before steadying my feet back to the ground. I gave him a strong hug and a kiss on his cheek.

"I'm so glad I wanted orange juice," I replied with a soft giggle.

He kissed my forehead and rubbed my back, "Just know I'm here for you. No matter what, okay? I'm your friend too. I'm just not afraid to put you in your place."

I nodded, "Same goes for you."

He shook my hand in his until our arms extended out as I walked away. I let it drop slowly, and as I stopped in the doorframe, I turned around again to give him a smile.

He returned it, gracefully.

"Hey... Emmett?" I asked, as I fidget with my hands.

"Yeah?"

"...Alice knows... so how mad is she?"

He exhaled, "Let's just say... you might not want to approach her unless your bleeding from the head and dying and no one else is around at that moment... Give her a few hours to cool off. She'll be fine by the party, I'm sure. She can't be sad during parties, it's not in her personality trait."

I bit my lip and gave him a final nod. "Good night, Em. I love you."

"I love you too, Bells. Sweet dreams... and remember, take it slow."

"Okay."

As I walked back up the stairs, a new wave of feelings came over me. I couldn't define them then.

I didn't feel completely justified, and I wasn't completely sure how to deal with all of this yet... but I did feel alive for the first time in a long time... and couldn't help but smile when I realized that I just might have something to live for, after all.

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**EdwardPOV**

I blinked, laying motionless in my bed.

I could sniffle, but my eyes were beyond dried out now.

There was nothing left to think about, or cry over.

Because what's been done is done.

I rolled over on my back and pursed my lips.

I felt so exhausted, but so awake at the same time.

I didn't know what to do.

I couldn't sleep; I'd done and tried that several times.

And my buddies were all drunk and passed out around the house, so that didn't help either.

If it weren't for Alice laying next to me, I probably would have strangled myself with the pillow.

Okay, not really, but still. I had nothing to occupy my time with.

I cleared my throat, trying to find my voice. "Hey, Alice?"

"Yeah?" she replied, her voice just as scratchy. She had been crying along with me. And to tell you the truth, it made me feel better. I didn't want to be the only one looking like a baby.

"Did you really mean it when you said you didn't look at me... like that... anymore?"

She sighed, "Yes... is that going to make you more upset?"

"No," I shook my head, squeezing her hand tight. "I was just wondering how you came to that conclusion."

"Well," she exhaled, running her fingers through her hair, "I think I always really knew... I mean, sure, I thought I was in love with you. And maybe I still am, but it's not in the way I thought it once was. We've spent so much time together, every waking moment almost since we were little kids... and I guess one day, I started thinking about it, and figured it was destined that we were meant to be. I _convinced _myself of it. I tried to justify it in my head. And eventually, I believed it... And it made me aggravated that you couldn't see it, or try to make sense of it. And then I became jealous when I saw you with other girls, like Amanda or Tanya or whoever... and, you know, looking back at it, I think it was because I had gotten so used to being that _girl _for you. The girl you came home to... The girl you needed... and again, I allowed myself to become convinced that we were supposed to be more... even though I knew deep down inside, despite what I told myself ... it would have never happened."

"Yeah," I nodded.

"But... the nights that you rejected me... I needed that. And the second time it happened, it really hit me hard and fast. It was as if someone was shaking me and yelling, 'Wake up from the dream, Alice! This isn't your life! This isn't what you want! He is your best friend! You two were meant for different people....' and I hate to say it because I don't want to make you feel worse, but... I almost felt disgusted after that. It was as if I had been woken up from a very long and disturbing dream, I realized how many years I spent trying to force my mind to do something. I mean, sure I am attracted to you and most definitely would have hooked up with you a time or two... but I think that, even if we ever did couple up... it wouldn't be right. We'd learn immediately after that we were supposed to be friends."

I let out a gust of wind. "Wow. It all makes much more sense now that you say it like that."

"Yeah. It's crazy how our minds work, isn't it? It's how we convince ourselves things, and we end up in panic attacks or depression. If you told yourself over and over and over again that your hand was on fire, eventually you're going to see flames, and then you'll run around the house like a chicken with it's head cut off..."

I laughed with her. "I could actually see someone like Emmett doing that."

"I know!" she giggled, "...but I think that once someone realizes what you're up to, then they'll throw that invisible bucket of cold water on your hand, and disintegrate the flame..."

"So... who was it that carried the invisible water bucket?" I prodded, not even trying to cover up my curiosity.

Alice didn't reply.

I snapped my head in her direction, to see her covering her face with her hands.

"Alice... are you... are you blushing?"

"Shut up Edward!"

"Oh my God, you are!" I grabbed her hands and pulled them away, to find the most adorable flushed face I'd seen in awhile. "Alice! Oh God, is it Emmett?"

"Ew!" she slapped my chest. "No! God no!"

I furrowed my brows at her. "Jacob?"

"No! Come on Edward!"

"Then who?"

"It's... um..." she sighed, closing her eyes, "Jasper."

After a few minutes, she opened up one of her eyes and snuck a peak at me, to see why I hadn't responded. "Are you still alive?"

I nodded, not being able to respond.

"I know. It's horrible... but I can't help it, Edward. He's just so amazing, and I swear he was in this dream I had once a long time ago, and he just seems to know me inside and out, even though we just met... It's like, I can feel him all around me when he's clear across the room... And he's just so warm and sweet and nice and handsome and adorable and kind and..."

I nodded, holding my hands up in the air to get her to stop using adjectives, "I get it, I get it."

She sighed, covering her face, "I'm such a mess. I know. A big floppy mess."

I scratched my head as I pondered over this. "Does anyone know about these feelings you have?"

"No one but you."

"Uh huh." I twitched my lips, suddenly feeling better about my drama. Then I snickered.

She popped her head up and turned to her side to slap me hard on my stomach, "What are you laughing at, you butt-head?!"

"God, how the tables turn so fast in our lives!"

"Like sand through the hour glass, baby."

I exhaled, grumping back down in the mattress.

I started to daze off, thinking about Bella and I again.

"What are you thinking about?" she whispered, after a few minutes.

"Bella."

She groaned and rolled over on her back, "What about her?"

I frowned. "I love her, Alice."

"...I know you do."

"No," I shook my head, rolling over on my side to face her. "I love her. No matter what, I really do. And deep down... I think she still loves me... I just don't know what's going on inside her head."

A devilish grin crossed her lips and her eyes twinkled, "Do you want me to go suck Jasper off and we can call the score even? Because I'll happily oblige!"

I smacked her shoulder, feeling vomit rising in my throat.

"That's so fucking sweet of you to offer, Alice," I replied sarcastically.

"I'm totally serious too."

I snickered, rubbing my face, "I'm sure you are."

"And I'm really good at it, too."

"Alice... please. Don't."

"Oh, come on Edward. I'm your best friend, one hundred percent again. We have the right to talk about this stuff, especially now that we're not gonna do it to each other!"

I growled, "Fine. Then you're laying in the exact spot Bella did when I gave her nice, endeavoring head... for a really fucking long time... and she moaned my name repeatedly during it, while fisting her beautiful fingers through my hair."

She grew silent and stiffened in her spot.

"Exactly," I replied. "So drop it."

"Edward, that's just _wrong_..."

I laughed, unable to stop it. "So it's okay when you say it, but I can't?"

"Yes! Because I can just _imagine _you doing it... and it being all over your chin."

We burst out laughing, both of us curling up in our mutual disgusted humor.

I bit my lip as our giggles died down, "Yeah but she really _did _taste incredible."

"Oh Edward, must you?"

"I'm sorry... can't help it."

She rolled her eyes, "Fine. Tell me about it, because I know you haven't told anyone else."

"Well, she woke me up out of a dead sleep, and I thought I was dreaming at first... Then I realized she was in a towel. After a lot of convincing and after it all dawned on me, she dropped the towel and asked me to make love to her... And of course, I cannot resist her. So I did."

"Was it nice?"

"Oh yes... Better than I imagined. And it was sweet, and delicate, and slow... She felt amazing, and it was just as it had always meant to be. We fit together perfectly... and I fell deeper in love with her."

She sighed, and I sighed too.

Then I felt empty again.

I closed my eyes, covering my chest with my warm hand.

"I really _miss _her, Alice. And it sucks, because I know she's just right _there _on the other side of the bathroom... and there's nothing I can fucking do about it."

"Ugh, Edward, please don't make me say this."

"Say what?"

She growled in frustration, covering herself with my covers. "... Never say never. If it's... meant to be, then it will."

"Yeah... but I really miss her," I felt myself pouting, but couldn't help it. "I know she loves me," I whispered. "She's just scared. She has to be scared."

"How are you so sure?"

I shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, I know she ripped my fucking heart out and that I'm in pain... but I can't help but hear this fucking voice in my head, telling me it will work out. Just be patient."

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up."

"Well what about you and Jasper? I mean, he's taken... so if your _never say never theory_ is true, then how do you think you two will work out?"

"Because... I can tell by the way he looks at me... Most of the time, I think to myself to let him go and to shake it off, because he's taken... but then other times, I just... drown in him. And anytime we're in a room, we could be no where near each other, but we always seem to find each other's eyes... We always seem to be crashing into each other, literally sometimes... And he always seems to be around..."

"So... let me get this straight. I love Bella. She loves me, and Jasper. Jasper loves her and you. And you love him and me?"

"Yes."

"God that's awful."

"I know," she giggled, "but I think they're different types of love. See, you love me, but only as a friend. You're head over heels for Bella. And she loves Jasper, but mainly as a friend... and she's head over heels for you. I love you, but definitely as my best friend now, and I don't know if I'm in love with Jasper.. but I think it's a great possibility for the some day's of the world... and I don't think he's in love with Bella... I just think he wants to prove to her that good guys exist... I think Jasper knows deep down inside that he doesn't compare to you, for her."

"So why can't she see that?"

She sighed, "Maybe she is almost there...but needs that extra push."

"Yeah."

"Maybe... _you _could be that extra push for her, Edward... I think, if you don't throw it in her face, try to accept _why _she's confused and what she's going through, and just _be _there for her.. I think she'll fall harder than ever for you."

"Really?"

"Yes... that's all a girl really wants. To be really _seen_, for someone to not only understand but to _accept _her faults... and be able to love her regardless. And be willing to grow with her."

My chest burned.

"God I love her," I whispered, feeling the ache intensify. "It hurts really bad."

"Yeah I know..." she frowned, her voice becoming just as weak as mine. "Love's a bitch."

"It really is."

We laid in silence for a good thirty minutes.

Just thinking about our own problems and heartache.

The longing we had for the two people on the opposite side of this hall.

And how close they were, but so far away.

"What do you think you're gonna do, Edward?" Alice whispered. "About Bella?"

"I don't know..." I replied. "I guess we'll just have to wait and see... but I'm not going to fight with her."

"Yeah that doesn't solve anything."

"I know. I said some pretty mean things to her earlier."

"She'll forgive you."

"You think so?"

"Yes... you two have come this far... I mean, there has to be a reason why you guys keep coming back to this. Keep getting back to each other... It reminds me of a _Jimmy Eat World_ song I like to listen to on my Ipod."

"Which one?"

"It's called _The Kill._ It has this lyric that says, _Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance... or only one way that it was always meant to be?_"

I soaked in the words for a minute. "...I like it."

"Yeah. It reminds me of you two a lot. There _has _to be a reason that this keeps circling back around you guys, over and over and over again... Maybe it's fate screaming at the two of you, telling you to wake the fuck up and just do it all ready!"

"Yeah. Maybe..."

We started to doze off, and I was almost there, before she spoke up again.

"This doesn't mean I'm going to be cutting Bella any slack tomorrow. She's gonna hear what I have to say."

"Alice, please don't. It'll only make things worse for me."

"Someone needs to shake the girl and tell her to wake up and see what is right in front of her face, Edward. I mean, I love Bella and always have, but she's so scared that she's blinded herself on the happiness that she _could _have if she'd only _allow _herself to relax and fall again."

"Yeah..."

I turned away from her, curling up on my side of the bed. When I closed my eyes, I thought of Bella. When I opened my eyes, I thought of her. I could smell her scent, taste her on my tongue. I could feel the trail on my skin burning from where she once touched.

_That all must stand for something, right?_ I thought to myself.

I just had no idea how I was going to prove it to her...

But I prayed she still wanted me.

_Please just want me. Please just want me._

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 09! **

**To my readers:**

**First off, let me start by asking you to please hang in with me! I know that most people want E/B to be together -- and so do I -- but I don't want to rush it, and I really want to build their history and their lives now, and I want to make sure that when they're OFFICIALLY together, that everything else can be shaken off... But no worries, I have a LOT of EB goodies coming your way!!**

**I spoke w/my Beta Katie about my mixed reviews with this last chapter. Tried to explain to her how I was feeling and what my concerns were for my readers... and I let her look into some of my stuff I have planned for the future, and she told me to make sure that I tell you that she says it's worth the patience!! New Year's Eve is going to start turning around for US -- yes me and her too! -- EB fans! **

**You guys know how much you mean to me. You're the best. Thanks for cheering me up, and for your constant support. **_* hug * _**Thanks for the pms when you just want to check on me to make sure I'm okay, or for the inspiring words and motivation. I wish I could hug you all!!**

_  
__**And**_** if I may add, it amazes me how the tables have turned around... I even shock myself with some of the things I put in here. A lot of people disliked Edward and praised Bella in the beginning of this story... and now people are angry with Bella, and on Edward's **_**side**__._** Ahh, how exes and their relationships twist us all around... All I can say is, again, don't pick sides. You don't know the full story. Yet. Please, just stick with me. I've never steered you wrong, and I don't intend to now! Please be patient, it's about to get good!**

**  
And I do have something to say in my defense: I don't take any thing negatively. I learn from every single one of your guys' advice, that's why I love reviews. I try to look at every angle, and view things as constructive criticism. If you tell me you do not want something, then I take it into account. However, I cannot make everyone happy at the same time. Some people want angst and drama, others want cookie-cutter, perfect love.... I am the middle-man, because I enjoy both. **

**  
I personally view stories and writing as "taking the sugar with the salt". I wanted this one to be more of a real life sort of scenario. And I wanted it to slowly progress, not just have everyone shake hands and move on and ride away into the sunset on a white carriage with horses pulling them.**

**But I never intended to steer anyone in the wrong direction or give anyone false hope for EB. So again, please bare with me on this. You'll understand as the story progresses.**

**This story is about a self-discovery, for ****every**** character... Each of them are slowly learning what they want and don't want, or what they **_**thought **_**they wanted but realize they didn't... and learning what and/or whom they can't live without. Because we ALL go through that. We all make mistakes. We all go down the wrong path from time to time. We all had a crush on someone back in grade school that we laugh about now, because we realize how silly we were... but that's what makes it fun!! And that's what I am trying to share with you guys!!**

**OF COURSE this is an Edward/Bella story, I don't know how, or **_**want **_**to write anything but that!! But I've written two stories that are more lovey-dovey, and I wanted a break from that. I tried to warn from the beginning that this isn't going to be an easy fight for them. It's four years of them being together, and four years after their split... when they haven't let things go. A LOT of it will come out, because that's how life is. I think you will understand it more when you read this chapter, or at least, I hope you do. And again, I hope you stick with me. **

**I love all my readers/subscribers. Truly. It cheers me up to the highest amount when I see pms in my inbox, or reviews, or this story being recc'd on different websites. Thank you guys so much!**

**

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**

**Next chapter is the NYE party!!!!!! Who wants a NYE kiss from Edward, Jasper, or Emmett?? *raises hands***

**Reviews are better than Alice's generous offer to even up the score for Edward, with Jasper. :D**


	10. Silver Gold

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**  
****Special Thanks to my beta **Katie **[Kwizbit] for rushing online when I needed you to edit that last chapter. You're so dependable, I just hope you know that I don't take you for granted.  
Special secret shout-out in this chapter for you!

**And** **To my Readers: 800+ Reviews! You guys make me so happy.  
Thank you guys so much for all your support. It really overwhelmed me over the past two chapters!! I love the fact that you're sticking with me!!  
SPECIAL REQUEST FROM ME AT BOTTOM OF PAGE.**

**NOTE: I didn't want to divide this chapter into 2 parts, but this part was already 22 pages, so it'd KILL your eyes if you had to read it all on one page.**

**Plus we want to give my beta a rest. She has to edit all of this!! :D**

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**Chapter Ten: New Year's Eve. **

**Part One of Two.  
The day time... as oh the fun, torturous things our characters get into carries on...**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**When writing your history, I will always be a footnote...****a distant memory,  
a warning sign ...of mistakes made...  
The kind that you learn from.  
This song is the best of me, I'm taking pills for solemn motive...  
A better side of me, an open mind... for mistakes made...  
The kind that you burn from.  
So take this small confession as my price to pay, I never been the kind to let go.  
But before you up and walk away... I'm miserable without you, you know?  
This silver leaves me longing for gold...  
Second places never carried me home.  
Second places never carried me home.**_

_**David Cook, "Silver"**_

_**

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**_

**Chapter Ten: Silver/Gold**

**JacobPOV**

The cabin was a fucking mad-house.

More and more friends showed up, including two of our oldest married-couple friends: Mike and Jessica, and Angela and Ben.

People were running around all day, screaming their heads off at each other when something didn't go their way.

Opinions flying everywhere, people scrambling over each other to get everything done.

So I did what every good, strong, American man would do... I stayed upstairs, and I hid.

I couldn't help but notice _certain _people were avoiding each other, and others were walking on pins and needles.

Bella wouldn't go near Edward, or vice versa. Which didn't bother _me _one bit.

But then Edward and Alice seemed to be getting into it, and Jasper seemed to be avoiding anyone with tits.

Emmett and Rosalie seemed to be in an off-mood too, and that surprised me. But I guess _I'm _the culprit in that drama.

Rose and I have been friends for a long time, and sure, we've hooked up...

But I am not interested in that girl like _that_, so for him to barge into the bedroom _I _was assigned to -- that she just so happens to sleep in -- around three o'clock this morning just... bemused me. I had no idea what was going on, but he looked so frustrated. I was lying on my side of the bed like a good guy, fantasizing about the supermodel-sisters, while she was in the shower.

She came out in a towel when he walked in, and the next thing I know, that grin that was on his face was replaced with something darker, as he eyed me down.

And okay, _sure_, I may have been pitching a tent and standing beside her, but that was because I was about to go take care of my business in the officially _un_-occupied bathroom, and he happened to _not _knock before storming in. I was trying to move her out of the way from the door frame, and I guess when her new boyfriend comes in the bedroom to find my hands on her shoulders, her soaking wet in a scanty towel, and me pitching a woody...

_Yeah, that was a bad idea._

Now _she's _mad at me because _he's _upset with her.

So that is why I am sitting here on the corner of my bathroom sink, watching Bella fussing over her hair.

She came in here, instead of using her own.

She said Jasper was in the shower, and wanted to give him time to himself.

I picked up a weird looking brush, that looked like a porcupine that had been wrapped up like a taco, and studied it like he would a quiz. "What the fuck is this used for?"

She huffed for the fifteenth time this hour, "It prevents static from getting in your hair, and it's used for teasing, curls, or volume."

I arched my brow and licked my lips, "Teasing?"

"Yeah... like...-" She glared at me and slapped my shoulder, "Not like that, you dirt-bag!"

I grinned at her, causing her to smile back, "Sorry, you opened that trap."

She slammed her hands on the bathroom sink, "God why isn't my hair cooperating with me?!"

"Ee-heasyyyy there, killer. Just go get one of the other women to do it for you, before you break the granite counter finish."

"I _can't_," she sneered at me.

This puzzled me. "Why not? Aren't girls supposed to be like, attached to the hip, in the bathrooms or some shit?"

"Well, if I call Rosalie in here, she'll want to strangle you until your head swells up. If I call Tanya in here, I'll want to drown her nasty-ass face in the toilet. If I call Colleen in here, then it will ruin her three-years-in-the-making make out session with Makin, and then she'll want to drown _me _in the toilet..."

"What about Alice?" I suggested. "Isn't that like... her _calling _in life, or some shit?"

She glowered at me, before frowning, looking down, and shaking her head. "No. I'm sure she's... busy."

"Please. You'd probably make her whole year if you asked her."

"I said no, Jacob. Drop it."

I raised my hands up in surrender mode. "It's dropped."

_God, what is it with women and these fucking holidays anyway? _

Most of them had someone who was equally interested in them, as they were to that person...

So what is the point of spending three hours getting all fancied up, if you're guaranteed a lay, or a at least a _good _kiss by the end of the night?

Made no God-damned sense to me.

I pursed my lips, watching her grow more and more angry.

"Bella. I love you, but you're going to go bald if you keep tugging on that shit."

"Well... guh!" she growled.

I snickered, but stopped as soon as she gave me her evil eye.

"Jacob, why don't you go play with your penis or something?"

"Because this is too good to miss. And I've already done that twice today...and quite a few times last night, so if I do it again, it'll grow sensitive, and then it'll really suck when my pants rub along it all night."

"Waaayyyy too much information."

"You asked."

"I'll remember to not do it again."

I gave her a few minutes to wind down before I spoke again.

"So... what kind of dress did Alice purchase for you this year?"

She sighed, "A beautiful black one."

"And... that's a _bad _thing?"

"No, I love the dress, I just don't know how she'll feel about me wearing it, now that I mes-...." She cut herself off, shaking her head.

I thought about it for a minute. "Are you and Alice at ends this moment?"

She shrugged her shoulders, "She's Edward's best friend, so she's just... got some beef with me, I guess."

"But... like three days ago, weren't you all laughing and grocery shopping and wrecking Jeeps together?"

"Yeah... that was then."

"So what did you do?" I pressed.

She exhaled. "She just doesn't want me to get close to Edward again."

"That's because Alice is smart, and I agree with her."

She glared at me, throwing her hands on her robed hips. "Jacob, _why _do you care? It's not like you and I are married, or together, or any of that shit."

_Ouch_. "God Bella, what's gotten into you? Are you PMSing?"

"Do _not _change the subject. Answer my question," she sneered at me.

"Because he broke your heart too many times, and he deserves to get his balls cut off, probed with toothpicks, and placed in a clear jar on top of a mantle for everyone to gawk at?"

She backed away from the counter, her glare growing more intense. "Okay Jacob. I love you, but I am going to be honest here."

"Bring it on."

"You and I fucked up just as bad as _he _did, when Edward and I were together. You _knew _I had a boyfriend. You _knew _how much I cared for him. And _we _messed up, twice."

"Yeah well... I thought you deserved better."

"What? You?"

"Yeah," I scoffed at her. "Anyone but him."

"You were jealous, Jacob."

"_Jealous_?!" I yelled at her.

"Yes! Jealous!"

"What the fuck would I have to be jealous over?"

She took a deep breath before leveling out her voice. "Edward came to town when I was fifteen. You and I had known each other for _years_. You didn't like it when my interest went elsewhere, and I stopped spending time with you like we used to. You wanted to be that guy for me. And... I tried to even out my time between the both of you, but... I couldn't do it, and it pissed you off."

"I just wanted you to wake up Bella. See the guy for who he truly was."

"Jacob, you never even took the time to learn who Edward was yourself! How could you _possibly _know?"

"I just had a feeling! A gut-instinct. And look what he did, Bella. He did cheat on you, remember?"

"Of course I remember! But that doesn't excuse the fact that _I _cheated on _him _with _you_, twice. The first time, he blew off. Because we had started dating right around that time. But the second time, he caught it, after you _forced _me against you and rammed your tongue down my throat! You two ended up in _jail_, after you broke everything in the damn house! How could I forget?!"

"Bella," I groaned, tossing the porcupine brush in the empty sink, "come on! You wanted me to kiss you!"

"I what?!"

"You did! You didn't push away that night!"

"Jacob, I locked up and froze stiff, so you'd catch a _hint _when I wasn't moving my lips along with yours."

"Please Bella. You could have kneed me in the fucking groin, yanked my hair out in patches, bit my tongue off... but you _didn't_. Because a part of you wanted it."

She glared at me. "That _kiss _was the first substantial point of my relationship with Edward failing."

I shook my head, trying not to take her shit personally.

We've been friends for too long to let old doors open up again.

"Yeah, well," I replied after a few minutes. "If you two were meant to work out, you would have."

After a few minutes of her not responding, I raised my head to find her eyes.

And they had tears in them. Not overflowing yet, but close.

She closed her eyes to push them back, and sighed heavily. "Yeah well... I guess I really fucked everything up between us."

"We're fine, Bells. I know you're just venting."

"I'm not talking about _us_, Jacob. I'm talking about... me and Edward."

I glared at her. I couldn't believe she was fucking doing this shit to herself again.

"Bella... you've got to be fucking kidding me."

She shook her head quickly, as her body began to tremble in her frustration.

"If you love me Jacob... If you're truly the friend that I _think _you are... then you're going to have to accept _all _of me. The wounds, the scars, the imperfections... and the regrets. ...And losing Edward _is _my biggest regret."

I took a deep breath, not saying anything.

I felt so puzzled, I wasn't sure what to say.

No, I didn't look at her like that, and I haven't for a very long time.

We were just friends.

I'm looking after her, just like Charlie asked me to do.

But Edward cheated on her... He and Tanya got way more into it than she and I ever did.

I didn't fucking get it.

But I wasn't going to fucking ask.

Because I wanted to be that friend to her... Okay, well maybe not, because I didn't know if I could ever accept these things she was asking me to do.

But I didn't want to lose her friendship.

...I just wanted to kill him for putting these damn thoughts back into her head.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

After my shower, I stood next to my bed, staring at the outfit laid out for me on the covers.

I could hear Bella and Jacob arguing earlier, down the hall in his bedroom, but I couldn't make out their words.

And I didn't dare go in there and break that up.

Last time, it didn't go too well, for any of us.

I focused my attention back to the wardrobe.

Dark, denim, designer jeans. Matching coat. Blue, gray, and white striped sweater. White, collared undershirt.

Just my style.

I shook my head and smiled.

_How in the hell does Alice know all of this shit about everyone?_

There was a light knock on the door before it opened, and I turned to see Alice slipping in.

She was wearing white draw-string pants, a pink tank top, and her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail.

"Well, speaking of the devil," I teased, with a welcoming smile.

"Ask, and I shall appear," she joked with a similar grin.

We stared at each other for a few minutes.

Then I watched her eyes slowly trail down.

_Did she just check me out?_

I grinned and cleared my throat, enjoying watching her eyes snap back up to mine.

My smile grew, as I waited.

"Oh!" she said, shaking her head as she bounced closer toward me. She was so cute. "Sorry, distracted. I, um, was wondering if the outfit was okay?"

I beamed, looking back toward the bed, "Yeah. I love it, how did you get my style down?"

"I sort of like to study people... I am a fashion major, after all," she replied proudly. "I was going to put you dressier, but then I thought... You wouldn't be as comfortable. So I decided to go with sophisticated but classy, and comfort-chic."

"Well, thank you. I love it."

"Good. I can't wait to see it on you."

I glanced back over to her.

She bit her lip and shook her head, looking down toward the carpet

_Was she blushing?_

"Alice?" I asked, trying to figure out what was up.

"You weren't supposed to hear that..." she replied softly. "Okay... um... I'm just going to go."

I chuckled, "Okay, if you _must_... But again, thank you sweetie."

Her beautiful burgundy-golden eyes met mine, and they were gentle as she smiled at me.

I suddenly felt warm.

Then something dawned on me, that I had been thinking about all night and this morning.

"Hey Alice?"

"...Yeah?"

"I'm really looking forward to our dance tonight."

She beamed, and rose to her tiptoes by the door. "So am I."

Once again, we couldn't stop smiling.

She dropped back to the flats of her feet, and twisted around. "I'll see you in an hour?"

"Yes. Until then."

"Until then," she replied as she shut the door.

It closed with a soft click.

I stared at the clothes, and noticed my heart rate was pounding double time.

I rubbed my face and ran my fingers through my wet hair.

I've spent the past few days, going back and forth with different decisions in my mind.

Decisions about life, love, and... two girls.

I never expected to be thrown off my course like this.

I wasn't sure what to think, or to do.

I loved Bella, and felt happy when I realized she had moved on from Edward...

But sometimes, I wonder if I'm lying to myself.

But if I'm not and she really is picking me, then I should feel angry with myself for doubting her.

...But if she isn't...

God, what is wrong with me?

I sat on the bed, staring at the clothes.

When I thought of Bella and my situation, I frowned.

She's been acting so off lately.

And I can't help but still feel insecure.

Especially over the past few days... I've felt something unknown in my chest.

Something has been wrong, I can tell.

I just didn't know what it was.

_Hey Alice, I'm really looking forward to our dance._

_So am I._

I shook my head, shaking off the butterfly feeling in my stomach.

I needed to talk to Bella.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I stood in Emmett's bathroom, curling my hair with a thick iron.

I was going for straight but volumed, with a little bit of curl.

He strolled in with a towel around his waist, and I dropped my smile and eyed the mirror in front of me.

"Aww, come on, you can't still be pissed at me."

I didn't say anything, as my heart beat sped up.

_Why did he have this effect on me? I'm supposed to be pissed here!_

"I said I was sorry, like, fifteen times this morning, not to mention the thousand and one times last night."

"You're still a jerk," I hissed at him.

"Rose, come _on_."

"_You _come on, Emmett!" I glared at him through the reflection. "I can't _believe _you."

"I said I was sorry."

"Sorry doesn't always cut it!"

He scoffed and threw his towel down as he climbed in the shower.

I snapped my eyes away, before I saw his naked tush. That wouldn't help my anger-streak I had going.

As he was washing, he cleared his throat. "I just really like you... what did you really expect me to do? Stroll in there and high give the guy with the boner that was touching your hip?"

"It was _Jacob_, Emmett. Not Don-Wan."

"Exactly! And you've hooked up with Jacob, and share a bed with him some nights. What do you _think _I'd do?"

"Well, I didn't expect you to go all _Rambo _on him."

"I didn't! All I did was go in there, and pull you out of the room."

"Yeah! Like Tarzan. _All he who is man_."

"You're being dramatic."

"You're being a dick."

He laughed, and I could see him throwing his head back through the steamy door. "We're already fighting."

"Well, that's because you're a _man_."

He chuckled again as he bent his head forward, rinsing off his hair.

I scoffed, directing my attention back to my hair.

He climbed out after a few minutes, and again, I avoided his reflection until a towel was around his waist.

He walked beside me, and stared at his own reflection in the mirror.

And he was smiling.

Like a fool.

My nerves began to boil over as I tried to keep a straight face.

_You're angry, you're angry, you're angry..._

"So... does this little fight mean I won't get a New Year's kiss now?"

I held it together and glared at him. "No you'll get one."

He beamed and licked his lips, "Yeah?"

"Sure. Just don't yell at me with I bite your fucking tongue off."

He let out a bellowed laugh and reached across me to grab his toothbrush, "God you're hilarious."

I eyed the back of his head down while he brushed his perfect, white teeth.

He rinsed out his mouth and filled up a cup of mouthwash.

I felt myself becoming annoyed as he gargled for an eternity.

He was making the most obnoxious faces.

Trying to throw me off my path.

And it was working, damn him!

_No it's not!_

I growled, dropping the curling iron.

"I hate you right now," I hissed under my breath.

He spit and wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand. "No you don't."

"Yes. I do."

He yanked me to him, almost knocking the towel from my body. "Well, then, let's fix it."

I stiffened into a board as he twisted around and carried me into his bedroom.

Then my heart started pounding.

_Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God._

We've never done anything other than kissing.

We're taking it slow.

And now here he is, laying me on his mattress, with both of us in nothing but towels.

He buried his face into the crook of my neck, licking forcefully. Long, strong licks.

_Oh my God... Oh my God... Lord give me strength here._

His heart was pounding against my chest, and I could feel my body start trembling.

I closed my eyes, swallowing hard as I tried to balance my breathing.

"Just relax, baby," he whispered before bringing his warm lips up to mine.

They were gentle and soft, and I felt my lips part within seconds, allowing him access inside.

His hips buried into my center as our kiss became more intense.

I felt my hands trail up his naked, damp back, and into his soft, wet, curly black hair.

_Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. Make an earthquake happen. Get us to stop!_

He sucked on my bottom lip gently, making a moan escape from my throat.

I felt his right hand slide up my left thigh, moving my towel up with it.

I dragged my right leg up along the side of his hip, up and down.

_Did I want to hitch it around? _

If so... then that'd mean... we'd be touching.

Down there.

_Oh fuck._

He fisted a handful of my hair before tucking his warm hand under my neck, to lift my head up to him.

Our kiss was beyond controlled at this moment, and my body was heavily reacting to him.

And by the feel of it, he was just as responsive.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he pushed on me.

All we had to do was hike up the towels... just about three inches or so.

Then we could be together. All the way, together.

Body, heart, and soul.

I began to whimper with each tease and flick of his tongue, and each push and pull of his body.

I dug my manicured nails into his shoulders, fighting with myself in my head.

I was so ready for this.

But was he?

His hands slid between our bodies, as he unlocked the corner fold at the top of my towel.

Yes. He was.

I felt myself shiver as he pulled the towel from between us, and felt naked and revealed until he laid his warm, bare chest along my warm, bared chest.

I wrapped my legs around him, pushing his towel down with the heels of my feet.

Then the door swung open.

Our heads snapped over to see Bella in a robe, with her mouth hanging wide open, probably mirroring our expressions.

She covered her eyes quickly, stumbling backward and hitting the edge of the door on her back, causing her to wince.

"Oh my God, oh my God, ouch, oh my God Rose, I'm so sorry, I had no idea-"

Emmett covered me up quickly as we climbed to a sitting position.

"Um, no, it's okay sis." I took a deep breath, feeling dizzy and overwhelmed.

Maybe this was a sign that we needed to stop.

_I should be grateful to her... right?_

"You can uncover your eyes Bella," Emmett chuckled as he stood up and strolled into the bathroom, where he closed the door behind him.

Bella dropped her arms, her face bright red. "I am so sorry Rosalie."

I shook my head and waved my hands at her. "No, it's okay," I whispered, "I'm not upset. I'm glad you did. What's up?"

She let out a gust of air, still feeling embarrassed. "I just cock-blocked Emmett, after he was so nice to me last night."

"Huh?" I asked, shaking my head as I waved my face with my hand.

"Nothing. Um... I can't fix my hair. I need your help. Jacob told me you stayed in here with Em last night."

"Yeah, I did. Okay, let me just... find my robe, and I'll be in there."

"Thanks, Rose. And I'm sorry, I, you know, interrupted."

I smiled at her, "No worries."

After she closed the door, I fell backward onto Emmett's bed.

_It was meant to be, it was meant to be... You can have him later._

I growled, pulling myself up and grabbing my robe.

_Besides, you were supposed to be angry at him, remember?_

I hated being right all the damn time.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I rushed into Edward's bedroom, throwing myself on the bed beside Bryan.

She was all ready in her dress she picked.

Gucci. Silver. Cleavage-bearing. Short.

She had her makeup all over his bed, and she glared at me as she put her mascara wand in the tube, "You're lucky I didn't have that up to my eye yet, cousin."

I snickered at her. "I've got great news!"

"Oooh, you're forgiven. Spill!"

I blushed. "I saw Jasper in a low-waisted towel!"

"Mmm, yummy!"

"Oh my God, Bryan, it was so _low_... I saw the full happy trail, and almost a peak of the... large package."

"Oooh, was it nice?"

"So damn nice. And the towel was so snug, I could see the full curvature of his ass... Oh my God, it was like rock-hard, perfect... Ugh. I need a cold shower now."

She giggled with me, as Edward strolled out in a pair of black boxers.

He looked a little tired, but not too much. Sexy, as always. His hair was messy, so that meant he hadn't taken a shower yet.

"What the hell are you two gossip-queens talking about now?"

"I saw Jasper half-naked!"

"Did you suck him off?"

I frowned, "No."

"Well, then you are of no use to me," he winked.

"Funny."

He chuckled and walked over to his dresser, where he picked up his wallet. "Why the hell aren't you dressed yet, Al? Aren't you always the first one dressed?"

"Normally, but I don't want Jasper to see me in my dress until we get downstairs... I want him to be surprised."

"Ahh."

"And... would it be too much trouble if I use your bathroom and take a bath? I need to... relieve some tension."

He glared at me, but couldn't help but lick his lips and put on that crooked grin.

He was such the typical man. "Alice, are you asking my permission to masturbate in my tub?"

I bit my lip, "Yes."

"Why don't you just go to your room with a vibrator?" he replied, still wearing that shit-eating grin.

"Because I forgot to pack the damn thing."

He snickered, "Oh. Well... I mean... I guess, just as long as you, you know, clean up after yourself."

"It's not like I'm a guy, Edward. I don't shoot off anywhere."

He laughed, shaking his head. "I get it, I get it."

I hopped off the bed, causing Bryan to growl again as she almost poked herself in the eye with the eye-shadow brush.

I ran over to him and hugged him, enjoying his smell and warmth. _God, I wonder what Jasper smells like when he's half naked._

He hugged me back, before pushing me toward the shower. "You better hurry it up, especially if it takes you a long time to... you know."

"'K!"

"And don't forget to lock the door behind you."

I snickered and locked his bathroom door, before running over to the towel rack. I pulled one out and ran over to the bathtub, plugging the drain and filling it up.

I stripped off my pants and tank top, glad I wasn't wearing anything else. I never do.

Much more comfortable without panties or bras when you sleep.

Then I realized I forgot something.

"Shit," I cursed as I tiptoed back to the door.

I opened it slowly, and shoved my head in the door. "Hey, Edward?"

"No, I'm not lending you a hand."

I laughed, feeling my cheeks get warm, "No, I didn't mean that. Can you grab my I-pod off of the nightstand?"

He beamed at me, still being the pervert. "What, do you need mood music?"

"Yes, there's a song that reminds me of Jasper on it."

"Oh dear God."

He picked it up and Bryan pinched his ass as he bent over. He pushed her a bit as he turned and tossed it at me.

"Ooh, you're lucky I caught that or you would have had a full frontal," I teased with him.

"Stop joking Alice. Naked women willing to masturbate, and women in tight-ass cleavage-bearing dresses that are lying on my bed aren't helping my vulnerable condition at this moment."

I bit my lip and closed the door behind me, smiling as I heard Bryan squeal and burst into laughing.

He was tickling her or something.

That's what she gets, for teasing him all morning.

And I have to say, I'm proud of him. She's sexy, beautiful, and willing.

Bryan was so hot, I'm surprised anyone could resist her.

And he turns her down, even though he's heartbroken, because he _loves _Bella.

_Whatever_.

I rolled my eyes and climbed into the deep bathtub.

The water felt hot and immediately began to soothe my sore muscles. I had done a lot of stretching and lifting, trying to get everything perfect for the party.

And it was, as always.

After washing myself good, I stuck in the ear-buds to my Ipod, and scrolled to the song: _"Don't Let Go", _by _En Vogue._

I swayed my knees to the music slowly, as the rift came on and the lyrics blared.

_"What's it gonna be, 'cause I can pretend... Don't you wanna be more than friends? Hold me tight and don't let go, don't let go... Have the right to lose control. Don't let go."_

I bit my lip as the first verse came on, running my hands along my body under the water.

Immediately I was thinking of Jasper.

_That beautiful grin, the full bottom lip. The beautiful arch of his top lip... How warm his lips must taste._

I massaged my breasts, closing my eyes.

_His sparkling, glistening, diamond baby blue eyes... _

I ran my hands over my legs, imagining his hands.

_His warm, large hands... soft as butter, I'm sure... _

_His height_... I felt so protected being wrapped around him during our dance.

And his beautiful smell, _Cool Water_ by Davidoff... I knew that cologne anywhere... it was one of my favorites.

I opened my eyes and hummed as I felt my fingers slide between my legs.

They fluttered shut again as I imagined _he _was touching me, caressing me slowly.

His warm hands, his long, soft fingers...

I had such a good imagination... It felt like he was really in there with me.

I felt myself get more and more into it, imagining how he would tease me, or touch me... or taste me.

"Oh God," I whispered, allowing myself to get more carried away.

_He was all over, all around. _

_Warm, his scent surrounding me as his body overtook mine._

_Gentle, but firm. _

_He'd like to tease, I could tell by his different grins... and I would struggle as I tried to handle it._

_I bet his kiss alone could make me orgasm._

I bit my lip, trailing a finger around my body, teasing how he would.

"Mmm, Jasper," I moaned silently.

I had the song on repeat, so I tried to make sure I wasn't yelling since the headphones were in.

_But as his lips would take over mine and his tongue dipped into my mouth... _It was really hard.

_I'd run my hands along his firm, chiseled chest, dragging my fingernails around his neck. _

_I felt his hot breath on my face as his hands explored my body. He felt wonderful... amazing..._

I bit my lip, as my imagination drowned me.

"Mmm, don't stop," I whispered, feeling my body begin to shake.

_His perfect lips sliding down my waist now, along my stomach, and he'd grin at me before covering me with his mouth in the most perfect way. _

_I rolled my eyes into the back of my head, feeling overwhelmed by the sensations. _

_God he felt so wonderful._

_He knew all the right techniques to do with his tongue, and his lips..._

"Jasper, oh God," I cried out.

_I felt him enter me slowly, as my body adjusted around him._

_He was long and perfect, and it hurt in all the right ways... _

"Ungh, don't stop Jasper."

_He gripped my ass in his hands and lifted my hips slightly, so he could have a better angle._

"Yes, right there," I whispered through my shaky voice.

_He deepened our sensual kiss, sucking my tongue into his mouth, kissing me with the strength of his repetitive thrusts._

_Then he pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine, locking those delicious baby blue eyes to mine._

"Oh God Jasper."

_And he smiled._

I bit my lip hard.

_And then he whispered "I love you," as he pushed deeper inside me._

"Ungh, Jasper..."

_And then he buried himself into me, over and over again. Hitting that perfect spot._

"Oh God!" I cried out, and I heard a door swing open, snapping me right out of my daydream.

And then my worst nightmare came true.

Jasper was standing there, fully dressed and looking sexy, in that outfit I picked out for him.

And I was naked, in the bathtub, with my hands between my legs and on my breasts.

I yanked the headphones out and curled into a ball quickly, grabbing the towel behind my head and throwing it over my body, in the water.

He was frozen, his hand still on the doorknob.

I forgot to lock the _other _door!

_Two doors Alice! Two doors Alice! Oh my God!_

We were both so flustered, we didn't know what to do as we gaped at each other.

He cleared his throat, turning his head away as he closed his eyes, "I'm so s-sorry, Alice, I-"

"Uh," I cut him off, feeling my face hot as my body trembled, since I was so close to my release, "it's, uh, ...um...."

"No, I'm sorry, really, I just... uhhh....heard my name coming from here, and I thought you were... _doing _something else..."

I buried my face in my hands, feeling like the world just ended.

_Oh my fucking God. He heard me._

_And he saw me. With my legs spread wide and my fingers on my body._

_He knew I was thinking about him!_

"I'm just going to... uh... lock this behind me," he whispered as he left and shut the door.

"Oh my God!" I whispered, too embarrassed to comprehend the full effect of how bad this turned out.

I heard his best friend Makin burst out laughing in his bedroom.

_Oh my God, did he tell him?!_

I slid under the water, wishing I had the nerve to drown myself.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I don't know how the fuck this happened.

One minute I was cursing Alice under my breath to hurry up so I could get in the shower.

And now I was on my back in my bedroom, on the carpet, while two supermodel sisters were attacking me.

It all started when Bryan, for the eighteenth time this morning, pinched my ass.

So I began to tickle her, because she's extremely sensitive.

And she didn't like it, so she begged for help.

And Charlee was her keep-sake.

And after five minutes, I was being pounced on and taken over.

Charlee bit my arm while Bryan was trying to twist my nipples, and I was just trying to get away from the she-devils.

I laughed and scooted myself backward, causing rug burn to take its effect on my back.

Paul came running in and burst out laughing, calling my cousin Dean in after him.

Dean ran in, pretending to be Superman, and scooped Bryan up, twisting around and giving her a body slam onto the bed.

"My panties!" she shouted, trying to pull down her dress.

Dean just chuckled, pointing out that she shouldn't wear such a short dress if she didn't want anyone to see her ass.

And then Paul strolled over, lifting Charlee upside down, to where she wrapped her legs around his neck.

Thank God she chose to where a black dress that wrapped tight around her legs. He'd have a full view otherwise.

I covered my eyes as he bounced up and down, knowing what was coming next.

Then Alice swung open the bathroom door, causing us all to freeze.

So there we were, me on the carpet with my boxers low and rug-burn on me, Dean and Bryan on the bed in a doggy-style position, and Paul and Charlee in some weird sixty-nine formation.

And Alice looked beat-red and angry-embarrassed, with _my _robe wrapped tightly around her body.

She didn't say anything, just stormed over to me, and jerked me up off the ground. "We need to talk."

Then she shoved me inside my closet, and shut the door behind her, causing our friends to snicker.

"Alice, what are yo-"

She covered my mouth as she pulled the string attached to the light above us. "He saw me!"

My heart was pounding, she made me so nervous. I jerked her hand off of my mouth, trying to breathe. "Who saw you, doing what?"

"Jasper! He walked in and he caught me."

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at her.

"I forgot about the other door, I was in such a hurry to feel relief. And I'm sitting there, listening to sexy music and _pleasuring _myself, and he _barged in_ on me! He said he _heard _me! And then he _saw _me, with my hands... _you know_... and my face... _you know_!"

_Oh shit! _ I covered my mouth, laughing silently behind my hand.

She smacked my chest hard, "It's not funny, _you _dick! Now this whole plan I had in store for us won't work! I'm not going to be able to face him!"

It took a few minutes before I could stop laughing.

Then I cleared my throat and dropped my hand. "What were you saying, when he... _saw _you?"

"Oh Jasper!"

That did it!

I burst into laughing again, falling back against my clothes.

This is why I loved my friends.

Because here I was, having the shittiest fucking, heartbreaking moment ever, and they still seemed to know what to do to make me laugh.

"Edward!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just... Oh dear God, that is some funny shit!"

"Ugh!"

"Okay, okay," I held up my hands, gripping her arms. "It's okay. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh."

"What am I going to do?!"

I let out another snicker, before shaking my head, "Um... Okay..."

I took a deep breath, steadying myself as I studied her heartbroken, embarrassed eyes. "What you need to do is... shake it off. Stick your breasts out, hold your chin up high, pretend it doesn't bother you one bit. Now, he knows you like him, so that's out of the way. So when you two are dancing... just eat your previous actions and bury it, and smile at him and bat your eyelashes. Flirt! Prove to him that you don't care that he caught you... That you still want him... He won't be able to resist."

"But I _do _care! I had my _fingers _insert-"

I covered her mouth, "I get it. And I know you care, but just pretend you don't... Trust me, Alice. He'll be so overwhelmed, and will feel so... what's the word I'm looking for... honored, I guess... that you were thinking of him that way, and he will be very surprised that you're handling it so well. Be the firecracker we all know Alice Brandon can be."

She pouted, curling out her lip in frustration. "This is so humiliating."

"It could be worse," I shrugged.

"How's that?"

"Well... you could have been spread out on the bathroom floor with toys and his clothes and -"

Now it was her turn to cover my mouth, "I get it."

"Okay."

She buried her face into my chest, whimpering. "I really wanted to seduce him."

"Well... this is definitely one way of doing it."

"Shut it."

"Sorry."

After calming Alice down and convincing her that it wasn't the end of the world, I decided it was time for me to get ready.

Dean forced me to take a shot with him beforehand. Fucking Everclear.

Then I climbed in the shower, around eight thirty.

This year, Alice selected for me an Armani charcoal suit that had a hint of plaid in it, and a blue sweater over a white open-collared shirt.

I was a little iffy about the selection, until I put it on. I left the button of the jacket open, and studied myself in the mirror.

It amazed me how she knew it'd look right on me.

I smirked, brushing my teeth as Dean, Paul, and Emmett barged into my bathroom.

Emmett had on black slacks, with a collared grey shirt, a tan tie, with a cream sweater over it and matching cream shoes. He spiked the ends of his hair.

Paul chose to go more rebellious, wearing dark jeans with a brown belt, a grey, button-down t-shirt, with a charcoal vest and top-hat.

Dean was wearing grey slacks, a lighter grey sweatshirt over a collared shirt.

They were all holding different types of beer bottles, and Dean handed me a Coors Light bottle.

I spit and rinsed out my mouth, before giving them a grin. "Thank fucking God I wasn't naked."

"Oh I'd give anything to see that peach-fuzzed ass." Paul joked.

"Yeah he wants to lick it," Emmett replied, before he got slugged by both Paul and Dean.

There was a slight knock on the opposite door, and my stomach dropped.

Then it cracked open, and Bella's friend Colleen dipped inside.

I exhaled, glad it wasn't her.

Colleen looked pretty, with wavy long hair.

She had smoky eyes, and wore a tight black dress, that had a checkered pattern on it and a bow below the breasts.

She was a very pretty girl. And her smile was very warm.

"Um, sorry, Edward, I just..." she ran over to me, motioning for me to spin around.

My friends all got quiet as they checked out her tan legs.

I furrowed my brows but complied, twirling slowly as I looked down at my outfit, wondering if I got toothpaste on it.

"You look good," she replied.

"...Thanks."

"No problem."

Then she waved to the guys and left the room.

I looked over at my guys.

"What the hell was that about?" Dean asked with a laugh.

"I have no fucking idea."

They laughed as I took a swig of my beer. It didn't taste so good after Crest toothpaste and mouthwash.

"Edward, who are you making out with tonight?"

I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Dude. It's New Years. Everyone has a plan."

"Not sure, don't care. I just want to have a good time," I lied, thinking of something I couldn't have.

_Forget about it, dude._

I watched in the reflection, as Emmett glared at Dean.

He wasn't buying my bullshit, and I knew it. Oh well.

I started blow-drying my hair, running my fingers through it as I pulled it up.

They all joked around and stayed in the bathroom while I got ready.

I didn't mind.

It felt good to be with my buddies again.

Took my mind off of things -- sort of.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Colleen snuck back into the bedroom, to find me almost hyperventilating.

I popped up off the mattress, dragging my fuzzy robe with me. "How did he look? Did he look good?"

She ran over to me, grabbing my hands as she took a deep breath, forcing me to do the same.

"H-How did he look?" I repeated nervously.

"Okay," she exhaled, "Truth?"

"YES!"

"Okay... he looked... _amazing_. God-like. I'm not even kidding. He has on this sexy charcoal ensemble, baby blue sweater... Preppy but classic."

I lost my breath, my hands trembling in hers, "A-and the hair?"

"I don't know yet," she frowned. "It was still wet."

"Shit." I frowned with her as I continued to shake like a washing machine.

"Okay..." I said. "W-What about the smell? What did he smell like?"

"Like soap," she giggled. "But I did see some Calvin Klein, _'Man' _on the sink beside him."

My heart fell down into my stomach as I froze.

"What? What?! Is that bad?"

I shook my head, "It's my favorite smell on him."

"And that's... a ... _what _exactly?"

I took a deep breath, "It's an... I don't know."

She giggled.

"It's so not funny."

"It's a tad bit funny."

I nodded, biting my lip as I looked at my black dress laid out for me.

Alice did a perfect job picking it out.

It was strapless and silk. It was snug around the breasts and waist, and flowed down past my hips, to a few inches above my knees. There was a large, elegant black bow covering some of the ruffles in the dress.

It was exquisite.

I felt like a princess just _staring _at it, so I couldn't imagine how I'd feel when I actually put it on.

"Did you tell Jasper you wanted to talk to him?"

I nodded, swallowing hard as I looked back to her. "Yeah, I told him that after the party, we needed to talk."

She frowned. "Are you scared?"

"Shitless."

"Are you going to... tell him everything?"

I nodded.

"I think that's the best, Bella."

"Yeah," I exhaled, looking back to my dress. "I think it's for the best too. I know what I want. He needs to know, too."

"Yeah..." she thought for a moment as she studied my Armani dress and Jimmy Choo's black heels. "So, um, does Edward have a favorite scent on you?"

I frowned, "He used to love _'Diamonds Intense' _by Emporio Armani, but I've refused to wear it since... you know."

"I don't have that," she replied softly, "Ooh! But I do have some Jennifer Lopez, 'Deseo'. It's delicious! I think he'll love it!"

I smiled at her, "Sounds good."

She nodded and turned to walk toward the door to go get it out of her bag.

"Hey, Coll?" I asked, watching her swivel around.

"Yeah?"

I smiled, "I know it's probably a hopeless cause for me to go chasing after my ex... but thanks for, you know, supporting me in my decision. I know you like Makin, and Makin is Jasper's best friend... so I'm really happy to know that you're a _true _friend, and you're putting all of that aside for me. I couldn't have made it without you."

She curled out her lip and ran over to me, and we hugged.

"You're my twin," she replied with a giggle, "of course I'm gonna be there for you, silly."

I nodded, "and you're mine."

After she left, it got really quiet in the room.

I studied my hair, which Rosalie fixed for me.

She wrapped it in huge rollers, then took them out, then made me flip over to where she could brush them all out and tease the crap out of them.

A bottle of hair spray and a few tears from the tangles later, my hair looked hot and blown out.

I felt my entire body begin to shake as I thought about what was about to come for me.

The confrontation with Jasper. The possible confrontation with Edward.

Both of them being upset with me.

My two favorite men in this entire planet.

_How did I get so lucky once, and how have I become so stupid now?_

I sighed, sitting down in front of my mirror to do my makeup.

I listened as the people downstairs laughed and yelled around. The music started bumping, as it was after nine now.

I tucked the hair behind my ear, focusing on my eye-shadow.

I wanted this to be perfect.

Even if I cried it all off by the end of the night.

Rosalie strolled in, wearing her white dress. It was sparkly and sequined up at the top, and then sheered and flowed out into delicate folds below the diaphragm. It was really short, and fit her body perfectly. Her hair had soft curls, and she pulled her bangs back with a cute silver clip. My sister, the supermodel.

"Rose," I growled at her, "why do you have to come in here looking that beautiful? You're throwing my mind off balance."

"Aww sissy," she replied as she squatted to her knees beside me, "you look beautiful too. But what are you doing to your eyes?"

I frowned, "Does it look that bad?"

"No... if you plan to look like a skunk."

"Uh! Then fix it for me!"

She giggled, "Come here."

I turned toward her, thankful she came in. The last thing I wanted to do was look like a skunk.

While she was working on me, I felt a twinge of guilt swim over me.

It was getting closer to reveal time.

Revealing all out outfits... revealing the truth... revealing the vulnerability.

"H-Hey Rose," I frowned at her, thankful my eyes were closed.

"Yes?"

"I'm... going to break up with Jasper, I think."

Her hands dropped to her lap, "Ugh, Bella! Why?!"

I opened my eyes, cringing at her tone. "It's not working out."

"What are you _talking _about Bella? It's working out beautifully!"

I shook my head and pursed my lips together, "It's really not."

"_Why _Bella? Tell me, why isn't it?"

"I just... I love him so much, but the feelings aren't there like I thought it'd be."

She relaxed her posture, and smiled, "Aww, Bells. It's not going to be perfect right off of the bat; it's going to take time! You guys are just getting started!"

"I just..." I frowned, looking down to my lap, "...I don't know. I think that maybe it won't ever be right."

"It won't be if you don't let it. Here, close your eyes."

I complied, still frowning. "Rosalie, I'm telling you this as my sister. I'm not asking for advice. I'll do what I feel is right, I just... want you to know where I stand, beforehand. That way you're prepared for the blowout."

"Bella, I love you, without equivocations, but I just... wish you'd give this _time_. Think on it before you go making any rash decisions."

"But-"

"You're gonna break his heart, Bella. On New Year's Eve! Would you really want that on your conscious?"

"No... But I just..." my voice trailed off, as the fear settled over me again.

_For Cheese and Rice, Bella. If you can't tell your sister, how are you going to tell Jasper? Or Edward?!_

"I just..." I tried again, my voice growing weaker. "About Edward, I-"

"Yes?"

I shook my head. It'll only make it worse. "Never mind."

"Just relax sweetie. Stop shaking, and let your sister fix you up."

"...Okay."

This was going to be so fucking hard.

But I deserved it to be difficult.

I deserved to be tortured, after all the torture I've put these men through.

But if I were being honest, it was all a bit overbearing.

...I just wished God would cut me some slack sometimes.

_Everyone makes mistakes, don't they?_

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 10! **

**PART TWO SHOULD BE UP LATE TONIGHT/TOMORROW.**

**-- I want to know... do you think that we should keep the friends around for awhile after New Years?  
It'll definitely make it more interesting, and we can get to some more Truth or Dare, 20 Questions type stuff. I think with the friends there, they might open up more...  
or we could just keep like Colleen or someone and kick Tanya out. *tee-hee* I'm really itching to get her gone.  
Again, so let me know in the bottom of your review. **

**Reviews are better than walking in on someone sexy and wet, while they're shouting your name inside their imagination. :D**


	11. After You

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for not yelling at me for long chapters, and encouraging me to take my time with it. ;)

**And** **To my Readers: Thank you guys for everything! I don't know how else to say it.  
I really hope you enjoy this chapter, because I think I got carpal tunnel from writing so much!**

**

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And also, check out the profile. You will find ALL the songs will be played during the chapters, and also you will find a **PICTURE** of ALL the NYE outfits.  
I maniped our six main characters and forced myself to Google and dig out the rest of them.  
This took HOURS to find, fix, manip, and edit. So I hope you look!**

Special shout-out to all my reviewers... I always look forward to hearing what you guys think and receiving your input on upcoming chapters and what you want to happen... BUT I have to say that the reviews for Chapter 10 have been the BEST ever! I got so many funny responses, so I wanted to say THANK YOU. I know you guys say that I cheer YOU up with these updates, but trust me, you guys cheer me up just as much with your reviews!! I never laughed so hard as I did when I got the 100 plus reviews this past chapter!! And for the people who say that I've caused you to not study -- I'm sorry!! Just know I did it out of love

Special shout-out to _Suzyg402_ for making me laugh soooo hard that my husband thought I was insane. I love the idea of the scratch and sniff computer idea that should be submitted to Bill Gates, just so we could smell Edward and his "Man" by Calvin Klein cologne!!! Girl, you made my night last night!!

**ALSO THANK YOU SO MUCH to all the people who **have** given me song suggestions. It took a long time to filter through, because there were so many options!  
If yours is not selected, please don't fret. I will use them in future chapters!!! ANOTHER REQUEST AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE!**

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**Chapter Eleven: New Year's Eve. **

**Part Two of Two. The party.**

**ALL SONGS/OUTFITS ON PROFILE. Read this one slow guys. It helps.**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**If I don't say this now,  
I will surely break.  
As I'm leaving... the one I want to take.  
Forgive the urgency,  
but hurry up and wait.  
My heart has started to.... separate.  
Oh, oh, Oh, oh ...Be my baby.  
Oh, oh, Oh, oh ...I'll look after you**_

_**The Fray, "Look After You"**_

_**

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**_

**Chapter Eleven: After You**

**JasperPOV**

9:45pm.

After my buddy Makin and I got dressed, we galloped down the stairs.

The music was banging with _'Get Low' _by the _Lil' Jon & Eastside Boys_, and the cabin was completely filled with bodies.

Earlier, Alice and I had moved all the furniture out of the second story of the cabin, and had it decked out with bar stools along the walls.

There were two mini-bars, tons of black lights, strobe lights, disco lights... basically, any kind of light. You name it, Alice ordered it.

There were two keg stands on one corner, and a larger, full bar on the far wall, with actual bartenders and servers. She had sectioned off a corner on the other side of the room, where the A-frame windows were. She wrapped yellow tape around it and draped thin silk covers, with signs taped to them at the opening that read VIP ONLY. Inside, there were plush white couches with black leather footstools in front of them, and a stripper pole.

Yes, an actual, installed pole.

I asked Alice what it was for when she had me install it earlier. She just said it was for her to know and for me to _possibly _find out later.

I had no idea how Alice put this all together, or how in the hell she got all these people here... both the help and the friends. Makin still hasn't explained to me how she got a hold of him, but I've never asked.

After earlier... let's just say... I'd like to keep Alice's mystery a... mystery.

_Unless we're in private_, I thought with a chuckle.

_Jesus, that was wrong of me to think._

"Jazzy!" the taller of the model-sisters ran over to me, in her silver metallic dress.

I smiled, trying to remember her name. "Happy New Years."

"Happy New Years! You look incredible!"

"Thanks. Alice does wonders."

"Yeah, I can see that!"

She handed me a glow-in-the-dark shot as '_Love Lockdown'_ by _Kanye West_ came on the radio.

Everyone was already drinking and dancing. I noticed Bella hadn't come down yet, neither had Alice.

Most of the guys were here: Makin and I, Paul, Dean, Jacob, Edward, and Emmett.

So was the supermodel's sister, whatever her name was, and those two married couples, I couldn't remember their names either. Angela, or Amanda or something... _Hell, I don't know._

Tanya was snuggling up to some guy I hadn't recognized. He looked like some sort of rapper though.

And there was also a whole bunch of random people I had no fucking clue of.

Jacob strolled over to Makin and I, grinning his perfect little smile. He looked like a punked-out rock star. His short, curly-tipped, black hair was spiked in the middle, fixed like a mo-hawk type. He was wearing a white wife-beater, denim jeans, a silver clad belt, and a colorful denim jacket. And somehow it passed off as awesome with him.

If I wore it, I'd look like an idiot.

I smirked at him and handed him a beer, which he accepted.

"Bryan!" Jacob shouted, pulling the girl who ran over to me over in front of him.

_That was her name! Bryan._

The chorus or whatever it was started to kick up with the bass drums, and she started dancing on him, sticking her butt on his crotch.

Makin and I laughed at his shit-eating grin, as he looked over to us and nodded cockily.

"Charlee!" Bryan shouted, over to her sister. Charlee ran over in her black dress, and started dancing on the backside of Jacob, pushing her breasts on his back.

His grin grew a fucking mile. _Lucky bitch._

I started to walk away and give the threesome some space, but was cornered by a blonde girl I didn't recognize, and she started dancing on me.

I laughed, looking over to Makin for assistance, but some beautiful dark-skinned girl started bouncing her butt to the beat in perfect rhythms. He wasn't going anywhere.

I sighed and took a sip of my beer as my smile extended. _This is why I love New Years._

From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice coming down the steps, and my heart started pounding as fast as the chorus started blaring.

_So keep your love locked down, your love locked down... Now keep your love locked down, your love locked down._

She looked insanely perfect. She wore a gorgeous, bold blue dress, fitting on the chest and flowing down her hips. A tiny black belt graced below her breasts, and set it on perfectly. Her hair was full of volume and framed around her face. She only wore a silver bracelet, and I smiled at the sign of that. She didn't need anything else... she was beautiful without jewelry.

She was holding some girl's hand I didn't know as she galloped down the stairs, and was grinning as everyone shouted at her. They were thanking her for the bomb-ass party.

She skimmed the crowd quickly and her eyes skidded to a halt when they swept over me. I smiled and gave her a slight nod, my heart thudding heavily. She bit her bottom lip and then formed a smile, waving a couple of fingers to me, before returning her attention to the eighteen guys that just cornered her.

It didn't surprise me at all that she had that many guys knocking down her door.

She was perfect.

"Alice looks so fucking hot!" Makin shouted over to me. "I can't believe you saw _that _naked."

I grinned, my mind going straight to the gutter. I didn't tell Makin what she was doing in the tub, that would be wrong of me. But he saw the look on my flustered face when I closed the bathroom door behind me, and I knew he saw right through me. So I told him I walked in on her while she was in the tub... washing herself.

I grinned and looked down as the song changed to _'Just Dance'_ by _Lady Gaga._

The girls started squealing, and they dragged themselves out in the middle of the dance floor, where all the colored lights and spotlights bounced around them to the beat of the song.

I noticed Alice getting pulled over there, and my breathing hitched as she started moving along with the rhythm. As the chorus hit, she threw her arms in the air as all the girls started dancing on her, their legs all intertwined. Most of the guys were off the floor, watching the group of fucking beautiful women groping each other... and Alice right in the middle of it.

_Jesus fucking Christ. Come save me._

"Dude," Jacob scoffed as we walked closer to the females, "that should be illegal."

I nodded, watching her hips sway from side to side, "Thank God it isn't."

"Ain't that the fucking truth."

His eyes were glued to Bryan's ass, which seemed more revealed as her dress was hiked up so she could drop it to the floor.

He covered his chest, "That girl makes my heart flutter, man. She's so God-damn hot."

"Bitch, get over there and do something about it then," I teased him.

"I will. In due time. When I'm more drunk."

I snickered with a nod.

I understood what he meant.

I began to feel weird inside, and looked over to Makin. "Hey bud, I'm gonna go check on Bella."

He nodded, tipping his bottle at me.

I started to push through the enormous crowd of people, as their body heat cascaded over the room.

The temperature may be ten degrees _outside_, but in here, it was like a hundred and ten.

Right as I was about to leap up the steps, a body covered my path.

And my heart stopped again.

"Hey Jasper," she panted with a smile.

"Hey Alice. Happy New Years."

She smiled, giving me a warm hug. "Happy New Years."

I didn't know if I should apologize again for earlier or not, but she seemed... okay about it, so I figured I'd hold it off.

_'Closer' _by_ Ne-Yo_ came on, and she grinned at me, holding out her hand as the music turned soft at the first verse, "Wanna dance?"

I bit my lip with a nod. I couldn't say no to her, she looked so damn cute.

I allowed her to turn me around and push me back toward the dance floor, which seemed to have filled up since I walked away two seconds ago.

She walked in front of me, her delicate hand in mine as she pulled me through the crowd confidently, settling for the middle of the dance floor.

_Turn the lights off in this place, and she shines just like a star. And I swear I know her face, I just don't know who you are._

The lights switched their color to a deep red, making her face light up and her eyes look hauntingly sexy.

She twisted around and pushed herself against me, her hands on my biceps.

_Turn the music up in here, I still hear her loud and clear, like she's right there in my ear, telling me that she wants to own me... To control me..._

God, she was so bold and brave. I didn't expect it, especially after earlier... but I loved it.

I grinned as my nerves kicked in, but I tried to shrug them off as I pulled her closer to me on the waist.

_Come closer... Come closer.... _

The chorus came on, and her hips pressed into mine, as her leg centered between mine and her other was pinned next to mine.

_And I just can't pull myself away, under her spell I can't break, I just can't stop. I just can't stop, I just can't stop..._

Her petite frame was so tiny in my hands, but somehow fit perfectly. It amazed me, and threw me off.

_And I just can't bring myself away, and I don't want to escape.... I just can't stop, I just can't stop... I just can't stop... I just can't stop..._

The second verse kicked in, and ourbodies slowed and swayed in matching rhythms, and I could feel her heart against my diaphragm.

_I can feel her on my skin... I can taste her on my tongue..._

I gripped her waist with my fingers, careful not to squeeze too tight.

_She's the sweetest taste of sin... The more I get, the more I want. She wants to own me... _

She smelled delicious and floral, but not too much, I couldn't help myself but lean down over her as the lyrics pounded, _Come closer... come closer... _before the chorus kicked back.

I stuck my cheek to hers, inhaling heavily. "Wow," I whispered, "what are you wearing?"

Her fingers dug into my shoulders as she whispered back, "_'Jadore' _by Dior".

"I love it," I replied gently with a smile, inhaling more.

I felt her skin brush against mine as she tilted her head forward, possibly blushing again. "Thank you Jasper."

The music slowed down, as it repeated, _Come closer.._._ come closer...come closer... _

Alice wrapped her arm around my neck and started circling her hips up and down, around my right leg, her center pressed up against my leg.

People started raising their hands in the air while they danced, clapping around us as the music sounded: _I just can't stop, no... I just can't stop, no...I just can't stop, no... I just can't stop, no..._

I smiled and let her hang on me, watching the circles she was making against my body.

She was an _amazing _dancer.

And had the ability to make me turn inside my skin.

I really did _feel _like the song lyrics... She was addicting.

I grabbed her hands and intertwined our fingers as the last chorus came on, and she smiled up at me.

I leaned over and held both hers and mine behind her back as the music slowed down the last time, and we swayed side to side.

Once the beat stopped, we slowly pulled away from each other and our eyes met up as the lights turned back to normal, disco-y colors.

_Come closer... _

I winked at her, as we slowly moved away. And then I was a clammy, nervous wreck again.

Within that second, she was yanked away by some girls. I didn't even get to tell her thank you for the dance.

I took a deep breath, before exiting the floor as Buck Cherry's _'Crazy Bitch' _took over.

Makin was holding Colleen's hand, grinning at me.

I walked over to them, smiling and shaking my head, "Shut the fuck up."

"I didn't say anything!"

"I know your looks, we've been pals since we were three."

He smirked, kissing the back of Colleen's head... which reminded me.

"Hey Coll, where's Bella?"

She pointed over to Bella's direction. It took awhile to notice her, since I wasn't used to seeing her so dressed up, or her hair fluffed up like that.

She was standing on her tiptoes, tugging on Jacob's mohawk-looking hair and laughing at him.

He was head-banging, pretending to sing the song into his plastic beer cup.

I felt overwhelmed as I strolled over to her. _Did she see Alice and I dancing?_

I nodded to a few people before finding her as the second verse hit.

I twisted her around by the hips, and she squealed.

"Hey you!" I shouted at her over the music.

She hopped on her toes and gave me a big hug. "Hey Jazz! I was wondering where you were hiding!"

_Well, I guess she didn't see me dancing then._

"I've been here," I replied, eyeing down her shot in one hand and her half-empty glass in the other. "What are you drinking?"

"Tequila in this one, and something strong mixed with orange juice and cranberry in this one."

I nodded, not replying as I smiled at her.

It was unlike her to drink this early, this heavy.

She only drank like this when she had something on her mind.

And she did say she wanted to talk with me later...

I sighed but shook it off, "Just be careful, okay?"

She nodded, "Always will."

"Okay."

"Hey, after this retarded and over-played song gets done, do you want to dance with me?" she asked.

"Sure babe."

"'K!"

We all stood in a circle as Makin and Colleen joined us by the island, drinking and laughing about random people's dance moves... or lack there of.

I watched as Edward and his cousin Dean strolled in from the patio, shaking the snow out of their hair as they laughed.

I hadn't really seen him around lately.

And he was a cool dude when we played pool, and seemed pretty chill in general, so I wanted him to meet Makin.

I walked over there to him, handing him a fresh beer.

"Thanks," he replied as his breathing slowed down from the cold intake.

I nodded, pointing over to Makin, who stood beside me. "Edward, this is my good pal Makin. Makin, this is Edward Cullen."

"Ahh, the infamous Edward," Makin replied with a grin as they shook hands and I shook my head.

"How do you do?" Edward grinned, before returning his smile to me, "Have you guys met Paul and Dean?"

We all shook hands and ended up laughing and joking about the different range in women. There were a _lot _of them.

"Pussy Galore," Paul joked, clinking his beer bottle with Dean's.

That made me laugh again.

Edward really seemed relaxed, and cool. I decided I liked him after all.

We turned toward the dance floor, as the next song came on: _'Lollipop' _by _Lil' Wayne._

The girls started screaming and forming in groups, dancing all over each other.

I noticed Rosalie pushing Emmett in the middle, as Bella strolled over there with Bryan and Charlee. They all danced around him, as he raised his arms in the air to let them use him as a pole.

Apparently, they didn't know we had an _actual _pole installed in the VIP area.

I couldn't help but feel impressed with Emmett's wardrobe. Normally he was a t-shirt and jeans, or basketball shorts type of guy. Today he was dressed like a preppy boy. More my style.

And girls were flocking to him.

I watched as Dean leaned over to Edward and whispered something to him as they stared at the girls, and he just licked his lips and nodded.

As I followed his eye trail, I couldn't help but notice him watching in Bella's direction.

I don't know why, but it bothered me both a lot ...and not much at all.

_What the fuck does that mean, Jasper?_

I shook my head, turning away from it as I started talking to Makin again.

I had no idea what it meant.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

_This is the life._

I felt hands on each part of my body.

Girls' hands.

Hot women hands! Everywhere!

Bryan slid her body down my right leg, her fingernails trailing down my side as all the other girls bounced around me.

_Fuck... This _is _the life!_

I raised my hands up and swayed my hips from side to side as I silently thanked Jesus for this wonderful, wonderful day.

_Yes Lord, you do love me... We're homeboys after tonight, man._

Rosalie, my beautiful and ever-so-sexy girlfriend, wrapped her French-manicured nails around my neck and pulled me down to her as she danced.

I pressed my forehead to hers, trying to block out the orgy of females grabbing on every inch of my skin.

Because any other day, I'd be trying to make out with every single one of them.

But now, all I wanted to do was be with _her_.So I was thankful when the song sswitched and I could dance secluded with my baby, to "Forever" by _Chris Brown_.  
Alice picked it out and added it in the mix because she said it reminded her of us. It was a little cheesy, I'll admit, but it said it still felt good to push away the flock of females around me and focus on my honey.  
I smiled, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer to me while I kept my forehead on hers. We swayed back and forth to the bouncy rhythms…

She had a big, full-smiled grin for me, running her soft fingers through my hair. I pulled her closer, making sure our hips made constant contact. I wanted her so bad, like I always do... but tonight, with the music and the disco lights and strobe lights that flashed across her eyes as she glanced at me... Dear God, I was afraid I was going to lose it.

_It's like I waited my whole life... For this one night... Its gon' be me, you, and the dance floor. 'Cuz we only got one night... Double your pleasure... Double your fun... And dance forever ever ever, Forever ever ever, Forever ever ever..._

She twisted her body around and wrapped my arms around her waist, grinding her ass against me while she flipped her hair around my face.

I slid my hands up and down her ribs, gripping on to parts of her white dress with my fingers when I couldn't help it... she was too irresistible to not touch. She intertwined her fingers with mine on her hips, and bent her chest forward, so she could dance more aggressively, before sliding her back and hips down to my legs to the floor, and bringing it back up slowly.

I turned her around again, grabbing her right leg and hitching it on my hip, while we swayed. And the look on her face, and how she got breathless was priceless.

The music slowed down for the bridge, and our dancing got more sexual....

_It's a long way down. We're so high off the ground, sending for an angel to bring me your heart... Girl where did you come from? Got me so undone. Gazing in your eyes got me saying, 'What a beautiful lady, no if's. and's. or maybe's... I'm releasin' my heart, and it's feelin' amazing. There's no one else that matters. You love me..._

As it slowed down even more, she pulled me down to her and started making out with me. Her moist, gentle lips cascading over mine in slow, lingering sweeps.... In the middle of this dance floor. We began to share open-mouthed kisses, but no tongue... Just slow, and romantic... and pleasurable..

_And I won't let you fall girl... Let you fall... Let you fall... Oh, oh yeah... I won't let you fall... Let you fall... Let you fall..._

I pulled her harder against me, even though the music sped up. I craved more of her. We stopped dancing completely, not minding the people around us, as our kiss grew more passionate and desperate. Her tongue swept across my bottom lip as I grasped on her body, and I opened my mouth to give her immediate access. She tasted of all kinds of sugar and delicious sweetness; I couldn't get enough of her.

And by the way her tongue cascaded around mine in fervent motions, she didn't seem to get enough of me either.

And I knew that if this kiss was intense, then I couldn't even imagine how good our next one would feel... or the New Year's one.

Because she was most definitely getting it good on New Year's, I thought to myself.

Once we finally pulled away to breathe, I kissed her nose once before burying my face into the crook of her neck while we continued to sway.

Her body felt so warm, and perfect against me. Strange as it sounds, it reminded me of spaghetti noodles when they were cooked... They all turn and twist in identical matches.

Just like us.

_She's my noodle,_ I snickered in my own thought.

I closed my eyes as she started caressing my back and my hair. She seemed just as lost in the song and us as I was, and that was a good feeling.

I buried my face onto her collarbone, providing a gentle kiss.

She sighed, kissing the top of my head before I pulled away.

I met her beautiful golden-hazel eyes, and we smiled at the same time.

"I love you," she whispered as she scratched my head.

And then we froze.

The both of us.

We stared deep into each other's eyes as everyone danced around us.

The song switched to a slower one, an older song: _'I Can Love You Like That_,' by _All 4 One_.

We continued to look at each other, both our lips parted in shock.

Her hands were still around my neck and mine on her hips, but we weren't dancing.

She looked down, breaking our stare as the chorus ended.

I felt a shiver fly through my entire frame.

I tilted my head, snapping my body out of its lock. I lifted her face, forcing her to look at me again as the second verse played through.

_You dream of love that's everlasting... Well baby open up your eyes... I can love you like that. I will make you my world._

Her eyes bounced slowly between mine. She was nervous.

_Move Heaven and Earth, if you were my girl. I will give you my heart... be all that you need. Show you you're everything that's precious to me._

I smiled at her.

_If you give me a chance... I could love you like that._

The bridge came on, and I pulled her closer to me, "I've never said those words to anyone before, Rosalie."

She blushed, her hands trembling on my shoulder, "Neither have I... Until now. But I feel it, already. Sometimes, you just know, you know?"

I nodded, taking a steady breath as the song continued.

She shook her head, "You don't have to say them back. I just hope I didn't scare you away...."

I inhaled, running my hands along her waist.

She felt so good, so perfect under my hands.

No one ever felt this good against me.

After that song ended, another slow one came on: _'The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face_,' by _Leona Lewis._

We started moving again. Dancing slowly.

I brushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

She bit her lip and pressed her cheek into my palm as she blinked up at me. Those beautiful, diamond eyes.

_The first time... ever I saw your face... I thought the sun rose in your eyes... And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave to the dark... and the empty skies, my love._

As we danced, I thought about how the first time I ever saw _her _face... truly _saw _it.

We were pulling up to hers and Bella's house, getting ready to take this trip. And I was so mesmerized by her, I almost ran her over with my Jeep. After she yelled at me and picked herself up off the grass, she called me an idiot and questioned my intelligence.

But she sure was _beautiful_... and I knew there was something there, right from the start.

...And I turned out to be right.

I smiled sincerely at her, caressing her face gently.

_And the first time... ever I lay with you... I felt your heart... so close to mine... _

We've never had sex. We've never done anything sexual, besides kissing.

Because, for the first time in my life with a girl, I wanted to wait awhile.

But it felt so good to wake up next to her this morning, even when she was pissed at me for acting like _Rambo _and stealing her out of the room, as she previously put it.

Because she smiled in her sleep and snuggled up to me...

And her eyes flooded mine. So gentle and needing.

The soft melody seemed to overwhelm the both of us. Even _I _felt shook up by it, and that never fucking happens. _Especially in public._

And I felt every ounce of my body tighten, begging me to pull her closer to me, until we couldn't _get _any closer.

Because I knew how much I needed her.

And I couldn't imagine my life without her in it now... How dark would that be? How shitty would it be to force yourself to get up in the morning, knowing you have to face emptiness in your chest?

I knew we really just got the chance to know each other, though we've been around one another since we were in high school.

But this felt right.

_At last, at last, at last...until the end of time..._

"I love you too."

Her eyes flew to mine. "Really?"

I nodded, smiling at the fact that I could _say _it and _mean _it. "Yes. Really."

She smiled as the song started to come to an end, and I pulled her face into mine and gave her my warmest, softest, slowest, most gentle kiss ever.

_...The first time ever I saw... your face... your face... your face... your face._

She pulled away, and I smiled at her.

Then she jumped in my arms and gave me a big hug, as the next song choice was louder: _'I Kissed A Girl'_ by _Katie Perry._

I chuckled, picking her up a few inches so her feet dangled.

"Ugh, I don't want to let you go now!" she shouted in my ear over the thudding music.

I smirked, squeezing her tighter, "You don't have to, baby."

"Good," she replied as I set her back down to her feet.

She trailed her hands up my neck and smiled wide at me, "Because I'm not gonna."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

It had to be going on eleven by now.

And I was doing a good job at hanging with the girls, and avoiding the men. Two in particular.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jacob and Tanya arguing. He told me earlier that he had no use for her, that she was cool, but he wasn't interested.

That girl is never happy, I swear it. She just doesn't get that these men don't see her like that... as anything but... well... you get the picture.

I sighed in my own thought. _She just needs to go away._

I however, was dancing with Colleen, Jessica, Angela, Bryan, and Charlee.

We were being silly, twirling each other around in our fancy dresses and blowing fake kisses at each other.

Bryan and Charlee were grinding together, while Jessica and Angela were bumping chests and swaying hips.

It was so much fun. We were having a blast!

Colleen grabbed my hands and we twisted our arms in an 'x' shape, spinning each other around in a circle, forcing some people to move back.

I laughed at her facial expressions as we spun around and around, until my heel twisted and I almost broke my neck.

She caught me, thank God, and burst into laughing as she steadied me to my feet, "Bella! No more shots for you for awhile!"

"No, no, I've only had four!" I shouted back. And I felt fine. I just hated being clumsy all the damn time.

"Oh my gosh!" she shouted, jumping closer to me, "_Makin _is watching us."

"Really?" I giggled, sneaking a peak.

And he sure _was _watching us. Like a shark! Leaning against the wall, making it _very _obvious. He was almost eye-screwing her!

"We need a good song!" she shouted, pulling me toward the DJ.

She whispered something in his ear, giving him a wadded up amount of money. He nodded, giving her a wink before she pulled me back to the dance floor.

"Bella, if you love me, and if I truly _am _your twin as you say, then dance sexy on me."

"Dance sexy?" I quoted her.

"YES!! So he'll want me more! Come on, I'd do it for you."

I giggled, "Okay! _Fine_."

_'Bounce' _by _Timbaland, Dre, Missy, and Justin Timberlake_ came blaring on.

Full of base, full of dirty grind beats and heavy breathing.

A perfect song choice for her mission.

We connected hands and raised our arms, while her butt pressed up against me. We swayed hips and hiked up our dresses, dropping to the floor seductively.

She leaned back against me and I ran my hands down her arms. _Might as well make it good, right?_

We could hear guys shouting at us from all around, but we didn't care. This was about _Makin_, not them.

We slowly swayed our way back up and I spun her around to face me.

She wedged her legs between mine and wrapped her hands around my hips as she began to grind against me.

I smiled, pressing back up against her. "How's the tent pitching session going?"

"Makin's mouth just dropped," she squealed at me before putting her poker face back on. I wiggled my eyebrows at her and we giggled, dancing more sexually. We dropped back to the ground and stayed there a second, and she ran her hands on my neck. I blushed a bit, but allowed it, bending my head back to put on a good show. She giggled as we rose back to our feet.

"He's coming over, he's coming over!" she shouted as she pulled me closer. We turned around, to where her back was facing his direction.

And his eyes were smoldering as he snuck up behind her, raising his bottle up in the air.

I smiled at him as his left hand wound around her waist, pressing her ass up against him.

_Hold up, Hell no, like Britney Spears I wear no drawls.._._ In the club I drink it up, mm mm, drink it up..._

I continued to dance with them, trapping her in the middle. She bit her lip and rolled her eyes in the back of her head as he pushed up against her, and I giggled at her. _She was so obvious!_

These two have liked each other for _years_. I don't know how in the hell they've gone this long... I'd lose my mind!

She dropped lower, her body sliding down him as he stood there. His eyes found mine, and he nodded with an _Oh yeahhhh!_ expression.

This made me laugh more as I pulled her back up. And boy, was she going _at it_ on him.

The words stopped and the bass got heavier and she leaned over onto my chest for support, bouncing her butt right up against him... If they weren't wearing clothes... _Oh dear Lord._

And I thought he was going to pass out. He held his hands out in the air, his eyes dropped and focused on her ass with his mouth wide open. She just bit her lip and continued.

As the song came to an end, I peered over their heads, and found Jasper in the corner, talking to Edward.

_Oh shit._

Jasper had his arms crossed over his chest, and he looked pissed off... _Really _pissed off.

My heart sunk and my nerves kicked in, as I unsteadily walked away from the middle of the dance floor.

Edward had his hand in front of him, pointing at him, and he was looking like he was smarting off to him.

And Jasper didn't like it.

_Oh God... What is he telling him?!_

I bit my lip as I headed closer to them, feeling my stomach flipping repeatedly.

_Oh God, Oh God, oh no, oh shit, oh fuck, Oh God..._

I weaved through the sea of moving people, brushing off Jacob as he tried to talk to me. Probably to vent about Tanya.

"Not now Jacob."

As I got closer, Jasper's eyes looked darker as he glared at Edward.

_Oh my God, I'm so dead._

_He's so dead._

Jasper looked so upset!

I brought my thumb to my mouth to chew on my nail as I snuck closer, and I ran into an object head on.

I about fell over, as I grasped my chest. "Alice! Oh my God, I didn't see you standing there!"

She looked pissed, proving to me that it was her _intention _to get in my way. "Bella. We need to talk."

Great, now my heart was doing triple-time. "Uh, Alice, can it wait?"

"No."

I glared at her, and her stare was down-right _demented_.

"What's it about then?" I huffed at her, not liking the whole cornered idea.

"You fucking Edward, cheating on Jasper, and breaking both their hearts."

I took a step back, continuing to eye her down. "Alice, this is _my _business, not yours."

"No, it _is _my business Bella. Edward is my best friend in the entire world, the best man _in _my life, and Jasper has _easily _become the one of the best souls on this entire planet! Neither one of them deserve to have _you _twisting them around, playing mind games with their heads, screwing with their emotions, lying to them, using them, and then cascading them away when you don't _feel _like it anymore."

I dropped my mouth in shock, "Alice, you have no idea what you are talking about!"

"Really? Then why don't you _tell me_, Bella? Come on, tell me I'm delusional and seeing things. I _dare _you."

I shook my head, "Can we take this somewhere else?"

"Why? What, are you afraid that someone might hear us?"

I glared at her, saying my reply with my eyes. She knew I was.

She got closer and gritted through her teeth, "Well if you weren't fucking around on everyone, _Bella_, then you wouldn't have anything to hide from anyone."

The song stopped, and I begged her with my eyes to just shut up until the next song came on.

_At least give me that much._

And unfortunately for me, it was a slow one. _'Unforgettable_,' by _Nat King Cole_.

"Alice, I appreciate that you're trying to be all heroic and defensive over your friends," I replied much calmer, "but this really _is _my business and I'll handle it as I see fit."

She took a step, eying me down. "You're going to fucking fix it _now_, Bella, or I'm going to fix it for you."

"You wouldn't dare Alice. We're _friends_, remember?"

"No Bella. We _were _friends... Back when I trusted you. Now you're just another stupid slut that thinks she can have all the good men, use them as she _sees fit_, and fucking have her cake and eat it too."

My heart fell down as my nerves shot up. I couldn't believe she was reacting this way.

It's not like she never made mistakes before. I could think of fifty of them, just back in high school.

"Alice... that was really harsh."

"Good," she sneered, continuing to glare at me, "...because I meant it."

I took another step back, feeling my heart ripping apart.

I didn't know what to say to her.

I've never seen her this mad before.

"Alice, I-I..."

"Bella, I don't want to hear your fucking excuses. _You _did the damage, so now _you _have tosew your own wounds back together."

"I'm trying," I said, feeling really offensive. "You have no idea how bad I want to just fix this... but it takes time, and it takes thought to make a rational decision, it-"

"_Time _to make a rational _decision_?" she hissed at me, mocking me and cutting me off. "When did _you _make the time, Bella? In the middle of climbing into Edward's bedroom _naked _and _throwing _yourself at him, when did you make time to _think _it through? When did you think about Jasper, huh? When did you think about his, or Edward's feelings?"

Now she pissed me off. And I knew I was about to say something I'd regret, but I couldn't help it as my defense mechanisms kicked in.

I stormed at her, getting in her face as I reacted before thinking through. "You don't know any _fucking _thing about it, _Alice_, besides the fact that Edward would choose _me _over _you _any day of the God-damn week. So you better back the _fuck _down before I _knock _your pixie-ass frame _out_."

We glared at each other for a brief moment, and then she pushed me backward. Hard. And I charged for her.

We started screaming at each other over the slow song, pushing and yanking and jerking. The DJ cut it off as people ran between us, breaking us up before we could throw any punches, which by the look of our hands, we were both preparing for.

Jasper had a hold of her, with her back against his chest as he pulled her away. And I don't know whose arms were around me, but Jacob was in front of me, screaming at me to calm down, while Emmett and Rosalie and a few others dove in to help them out.

"You're so fucking lucky!" Alice shouted over the crowd of people.

I started to snap back at her, but a warm hand covered my mouth as I was lifted off the ground. Eventually, I was pulled clear out of her view as she continued to call me a whore and a slut, until I was twisted around and pushed up against the wall, pinned there between its hard substance and a man. I looked up, about to tell whoever it was to back the fuck away from me.

But then I saw Edward.

He glared at me, trapping me with his weight as I tried to push away.

"I don't fucking think so, Bella," he sneered at me.

I hit his chest hard with both my hands, "What on earth were you _doing _Edward?! What did you say to Jasper?"

"_Me_?! What the fuck did you say to Alice?"

"_She _cornered _me_! She started yelling at me over what _you _told her about us, which was none of her fucking business Edward!"

"She's my best friend, Bella. I had to talk to _someone _about it."

"Oh come on! Do you think I've been able to tell anyone about it? Oh sure, let me go talk to Rosalie or Jacob! You told her because you _knew _she'd attack me!"

The DJ announced for everyone to calm down and start dancing, while he started playing _'Only One In Color' _by _Trapt_.

I looked down at my shaky hands and closed my eyes.

He pushed ahead against me, sneering at me as he glared down, "Do you really _think _that was my intention, Bella?"

I glowered at him, trying to push him back so I could breathe, "I don't know what your fucking intentions are, _Edward_, you never tell me!"

"Calm down!"

"Then back up so I can breathe!" I gasped, feeling a panic attack coming on.

He gripped my arms and took a step back as he pushed me up against the wall. Both our chests heaved up and down.

"Edward," I said as I slowly looked up at him. "What did you say to Jasper?"

He scoffed, shaking his head, "I was telling him about a college fight that Paul and I got into, after we saw a man hit a woman in the face with a baseball bat. He was just as pissed about it as I was."

Now my stomach definitely hit the ground, and I felt like an idiot.

This whole thing could have been avoided if I didn't jump to conclusions.

"What did you _think _I was telling him, Bella?"

I shrugged, refusing to look him in the eye. I felt like such a dumbass.

"Oh... Never mind, I get it."

I slowly looked up at him, knowing the guilt that was on my face. "I just knew you were so mad at me for what I did... I thought you were trying to warn Jasper about me."

He shook his head, taking another step back as he dropped his hands from my shoulders. "I'm not _like _that Bella. You should know me better than that."

"Yeah... I just..." I looked back down to my shoes, "...I'm going to tell Jasper tonight. I just thought it was too late, and you had done it, and he was going to hit you. I didn't want you to get hurt."

He scoffed, taking a step closer to me as he pulled my face up, "Bella, I can take care of my own, okay? You need to stop worrying about me."

"I can't _help _it," I replied in a bare whisper as I slumped forward in defeat. "You're _all _I worry about. Every day. You're every thought that occupies my mind, every person in my dreams, every pair of eyes I see when I'm in public, every hand I reach out for when I'm not even paying attention... You're everything, and I _hate _it sometimes, but it's the truth."

I watched as he shoved his hands in his pocket, taking another step back from me.

Again, I slowly raised my face up to look at him.

And he looked stunned, and hurt, and confused... and every expression in the book besides joyful of my revelation.

I pulled my lips in, shaking my head as I cursed at myself. _You're so fucking stupid, Bella. Keep digging that hole; you're almost ten feet under._

He huffed, shaking his head and looking down to the floor. "I need a cigarette. I'm going to go cool off."

I nodded, feeling emptier.

"Are you gonna make it without starting World War Three until I get back?"

I frowned and nodded again.

"Okay."

And before I could open my mouth to apologize to him, he was gone.

I slid down the wall, covering my face with my hands.

Suddenly, my blast of night turned really fucking painful.

I tugged on my hair, cursing to myself. This was all my fault, and I knew it. And now, _more _people were getting caught up in the mix.

I just lost Alice, another friend. _Gee Bella, you're just whacking them down, left and right._

"Bella?"

My head snapped up, to find Jasper standing there with his hands in his pocket, looking glum. "Are you ready to have that talk yet?"

I took a deep breath and took his hand as he pulled me up to my feet. "Yeah. I'm ready."

Because it was now or never.

And _never _wasn't an option anymore.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I felt nervous and frustrated as I walked up the steps in front of Bella.

I couldn't believe that Bella and Alice got into a fight.

I couldn't believe how angry Alice was as I yanked her all the way out of the house.

...In fact, I couldn't believe a lot of things anymore.

I curled my fingers into tiny balls as she shut the door behind us.

The pictures and clock on the nightstand were bouncing around, as the surround-sound system blared out _'Closer' _by _Nine Inch Nails_.

Bella stood in front of the door, placing her hands on her hips.

And I stood in the middle of the room, looking straight at her.

My head felt dizzy and my heart felt sporadic, but I didn't know exactly how to approach this.

She sighed, taking a step closer to me.

Our eyes met, and both sets appeared to be just as tortured.

"Jasper, I have to tell you something, but I don't think you're go-"

"Bella I can't do this anymore." I said with a big gust of wind.

Then I exhaled.

She slowly raised her head, her big eyes zoning in on me. "...What?"

I shook my head, putting my hands in my pocket. "I can't. _This_. You and I, I can't... do it anymore."

She started fidgeting with her hands, a typical Bella-being-uncomfortable gesture. "W-Why?"

I took a deep breath as my heart began to unravel.

I've loved this girl for a long time. Too long, I guess.

And I didn't want to hurt her, regardless of how things between us have unfolded.

She continued to glare at me, looking for any reasoning behind my eyes.

She appeared to be nervous.

I wonder why?

I watched as she bit her lip, her cheeks flushing and her eyes watering up.

I rubbed my chest, before sliding my hand back into my pocket.

"Jasper, please. This suspense is killing me," she whispered as she looked to her shoes.

I cleared my throat. "My heart's not in it anymore, Bella."

She looked back up at me, looking confused and hurt.

"Let me explain," I said, softly but firm. "For the longest time, all I surrounded myself with was you. I wanted to make it a point to prove to you that you deserved to be loved and cared for, that you deserved to be treated good and fairly... That you deserved to feel beautiful and-"

"You do make me feel all of those things, Jasper..."

I held my hand up to her to wait, please.

"...But as time has passed, I started to figure out that it wasn't up to _me _to fix all of these things for you, Bella. At one time, I thought that you and I could have something magical. The whole boy meets girl at school, girl likes boy, girl tells boy all of problems, boy tries to fix them, boy falls for girl scenario... But that's not who _I _am. I shouldn't have to do those things for you, Bella... I shouldn't have to win your heart over. If you truly cared for me like I wanted you to at one point, then you would have willingly handed it over to me with your own discretion... But it never would have happened, and I've started to see that this past week when we got here."

"Jasper, I really do love and care for you-"

"I don't think your heart is in it, Bella. I think... that _my _heart has been carrying the _both _of us. That I've been holding on for _your _well-being... but _not _for your companionship. Not for your _love_. And... to be honest, I don't have the strength in me to support someone who's been weighed down and burdened by all of the descredulate things that you're held down with. You've gained so much strength through our friendship, so much passion for the things you care about -- like your career and your family -- and I'm very proud of you for all of those things. You're doing a fantastic job. And you are a wonderful person... but I can't keep pulling you back and proving to you that you should be with someone like me... because no matter how many times I've tried, Bella, it won't matter. You've already got your mind made up on who you want to be with."

"Jasper, I-"

"Bella, listen to me," I said, shaking my head as I took a step closer, "I care about you. And we'll work to get our friendship back, if you want. But... I've spent the past few days waking up and feeling confused and pained, and that's not _me_. It's not in my character. I'm a happy person, I don't care to get into drama, I don't try to start fights with people. Things come, things go, and I accept them. I shouldn't have asked you to be my girlfriend, knowing inside that you weren't ready for it. That wasn't fair to _either _of us."

She took a shaky deep breath, "Jasper I did something awful to you, and you deserve know about it. I'm just really afraid you'll never want to talk to me aga-"

"It doesn't matter what you did, Bella," I cut her off gently. "Honestly. It _doesn't_. You are a big girl, you'll make your own decisions. But... coming here, this past week... Learning to see things from a different angle, meeting Edward and realizing that he's got his _own _side of your history... Meeting _Alice_... I feel like I'm not even the same person anymore. I held you in my arms last night, thinking for a second that you really did choose me, and that you wanted me to make you happy... But after I woke up in the middle of the night with this ache in my chest ... something I've done these past few nights, honestly... I realized that not only was I _lying _to myself, but I didn't _want _those things either, after all. I didn't want to make just _you _happy. I need to make myself happy."

I glanced over at the clock. 11:19pm. "And... there's someone that's been on my mind lately. I like her a lot... More and more each time I see her, even when it's a mere glance as she walks from room to room. And I've never felt that way about anyone before..."

I looked up to see her chin quivering. "...and it really woke me up completely. Bella, you deserve to be with someone who knows the ends _and _the outs of you. Someone who is willing to fight _for _you and fight _with _you. I'm not willing to do that... I'm not willing to make it all better for you anymore. I'd rather cut you free and ease the guilt I feel when I'm around this other girl... because again, I _really _like her. And I'm sorry if this hurts you, but it's how I feel."

She trembled, trying to hold back her tears as I stepped closer to her, "Jasper, you have to know that I cheate-"

I covered her mouth with my left hand as I pulled her close with my right, kissing her forehead, "Again... it doesn't matter. We both know that, inside, we _want _to go our separate ways. I packed my stuff up before I got dressed, and I won't be sleeping in this room anymore. I'm going to take the Champaign room until I figure out whether or not I'm going to stay here for the remainder of the vacation."

"No Jasper, I don't want us to stop being friends, or to not t-"

"We'll take it slow Bella," I pulled away, brushing her cheeks with my thumbs. "One day at a time... but..."

I smiled at her as I wiped away the first of her fallen tears, "There's someone else that I'd really rather give my first kiss of the New Year to."

She closed her eyes and nodded, caressing my arms gently as she sniffled. "Then you should go."

I nodded, giving her a hug. "Wipe your face, you're too beautiful to cry."

She shook her head, but I wiped it off for her.

"It's okay, Bella. Really. I'm not upset with you."

"I'm such a horrible person, I ch-"

"No you're not, Bella. You're a young adult, making choices and learning from them... You're figuring out what you want and what you don't, just as I am, and the rest of us. Be proud that you're willing to make these bold decisions and feel _alive_. That's what drives us and makes us the people we're destined to become."

She exhaled and stood on her tiptoes, giving me a warm hug. "I love you Jasper. Just know that much. I don't deserve to, but I do."

"I love you too, Bella." I pulled away, giving her a warm smile. "But I've got to go."

She nodded, "Okay."

With that, I hugged her one last time and walked out.

My heart began pounding as I trailed down the hallway.

I didn't imagine my life turning this way, twisting around this fast. But it all made sense.

Even as I said the words out loud, it all really made sense to me. I was never meant to be more than a friend to Bella... But I guess, in a way, I had to try and be more, so I could help us both.

Prove to the both of us that we needed someone to confide in -- each other -- so we could learn how to take steps by _ourselves_. Bella's been there for me, and she's really stood by me these past few years. But that doesn't mean that I deserve to be caught up in her and Edward's problems. I deserve more than that, and if I'm being honest with myself, then she does too.

I didn't want to waste my heart on someone who wanted someone else. Especially someone they never stopped loving, or _needing_.

I wanted to give my heart to someone who truly deserved it, who didn't want to live without it.

Because... No one deserves to be loved, unless loved unconditionally _and _exclusively.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After smoking a few cigarettes and taking a few more shots, Paul and Dean dragged me out on the dance floor.

They said I needed to shake off the drama.

Emmett ran to go tell the DJ a song choice.

And then my stomach flipped because I knew what was coming.

"No, no, no, no!" I shouted, trying to get away, "Guys we're not doing this shit, this isn't high school!"

"Oh you're fucking doing it, you little pussified bitch!" Emmett shouted as Dean and Paul held me still.

All the girls started surrounding us, giving us a little circle to work with.

My friends started snapping their fingers, dancing around and staring at me, waiting for me to move.

I tilted my head and grinned, so pissed off at them right now.

"I hate every single fucking one of you!" I shouted.

"Come on baby," Paul said. "Show us your shit."

Emmett started blowing kisses at me, while Dean just pushed me in between them.

They kept snapping their fingers as the music started playing. And I knew it was the damn song.

I caved in, snapping my fingers as _'The Whisper Song' _by _Ying Yang Twins _bounced over the speakers.

They handed me an extra top hat, so we could tip them over our faces.

We all started swaying our hips from left to right in sync, causing all the girls to scream.

We bent our knees and continued to sway, snapping our fingers and moving in rhythms, in our little circle. We were having a blast, being all cocky and arrogant and giving the girls a good show while we swiveled around.

_Bet you never had nothing like this, just wait til_l_ you see my oooh! Wait til_l_ you see my oh! Wait til_l_ you see my ugh! Wait til_l_ you see my oh! I'm gonna beat that, beat that up... Wait til_l_ you see my oh! Wait til_l_ you see my ugh! Wait til_l_ you see my oh, I'm gonna beat that bad bitch up._

As the cymbals started and the music got heavier, we surprised the crowd by swiveling our hips in circles and dropping to the ground, causing the girls to pretty much lose their damn minds. _Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up. Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up. Beat the pussy up, beat the pussy up. _Emmett dropped back on his hands and started making thrusting motions in the sky, Paul started humping the ground, Dean started booty popping like a girl, and I started to do rapid pelvic thrusts while I stayed squatted down.

As the next verse came on, we all rose up and started moving our legs and doing popping motions and crumping. _You fine, but I ain_'_t gonna sweat ya, see I wanna beat it, so tell me what's up..._ We continued our little charade, moving and swaying. Paul started break dancing in our circle, while Emmett started smacking his own ass. Dean bent backwards, shaking his chest around like a hula girl, while I started gyrating toward the floor. _Wait til_l_ you see my oh! Wait til_l_ you see my ugh! Wait til_l_ you see my oh! I'm gonna beat that, beat that up... Wait til_l_ you see my oh! Wait til_l_ you see my ugh! Wait til_l_ you see my oh, I'm gonna beat that bad bitch up._

The next time the cymbals came on, we threw our hats off and started taking off our jackets and sweaters. We all ended up down to our collared shirts, and some of us had our little suspenders dangling from our slacks or jeans. Paul yanked off his belt and was swinging it around in circles over his head while he pretended to ride a horse. The temperature in the room from all the bodies killed us while we were dancing, but it was so much fun as we started pretending to smack asses and do pelvic thrusts. Even the guys were cheering us on.

And again, this is why I loved my friends.

After the song ended and we all did our funny little pose, we got clobbered by girls. Rosalie launched herself at Emmett, Dean got killed by Charlee, Paul was attacked by Tanya but quickly threw her off because she was drunk and he couldn't stand her, then got killed and squashed by two beautiful Jamaican looking girls, and I turned around and got smothered by Bryan. Colleen pulled Makin out there with us, and I noticed Bella slowly walking out there, but she didn't get in the middle. She stayed in the crowd.

Then, they surprised us by pushing us back and away from the circle, as _'Cyclone' _by _Baby Bash_ came on. Then they started dancing in the circle, completely stealing our spotlight with their little dresses and cleavage and booty drops. We laughed and cheered them on with the rest of the crowds.

As the second verse hit, I looked back over to my right, but Bella wasn't standing there anymore.

And she wasn't dancing.

She wasn't there.

I tried to peer over the crowds, but didn't see anyone in a black dress that _even _looked like her.

As the song started coming to an end, I felt that ache in my chest return.

I couldn't figure out why I was even searching for her.

_She doesn't want you, remember?_

I sighed, pulling myself out of the crowd and headed toward the bar. I said hello to a few friends, but all I wanted was a drink.

"Twenty-three minutes until the NEW YEAR!" the DJ shouted over the music, causing everyone to start screaming and shouting and cheering.

The next song turned slow, and I felt my body begin to sink deeper. _'Broken' _by _Lifehouse_.

My heart began to pound, but I shook it off, ordering my poison.

I felt the electric current surround me and closed my eyes, willing it to go away.

_Go away, go away, go away. _

I swallowed down my double shot of Jose and ordered another one. "Keep 'em coming."

I turned around to lean my back against the counter, and found Bella, clear across the room, leaning against the wall behind a group of tall guys. She seemed so distraught.

I didn't like seeing her like this, even though she broke my heart.

_She's just trying to move on from you._

_That's all her words meant._

I frowned as my heart crashed to the ground.

_God, if she had any idea how sorry I was for the shit I did... She said she didn't think we could get past it all.._._ But why would we be here if that wasn't the case? Why would we keep arguing and trying to force all that bad shit away, if we didn't want to get past it? What was forcing us to keep colliding like this? To keep needing each other like this?_

I knew why. I wasn't stupid.

_We loved each other._

We just didn't know how to word it until it wasn't the right time.

And it backfired on us.

All the bodies swayed around and danced slowly, but we never stopped looking at each other.

I felt her eyes burning into me. I scratched my head and stared at her as the music continued.

Just stared.

_I'm falling apart... I'm barely breathing... With a broken heart, that still bleeding. ...In the pain, is _there_ healing? In your name... I find meaning...._

Those beautiful hazel eyes I loved so much, for all these years, seemed just as broken as these song lyrics.

_So I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm barely... holding on to you._

I felt my body moving away from the bar and noticed she pushed off the wall too. We kept our eyes on each other, walking slowly.

_I'm hanging on... another day... just to see what... you will throw my way..._

It seemed like we were miles away from the other. And I felt my heart breaking and my body tensing and my mind numbing, but I kept pushing.

_And I'm hanging on... to the words you say... you said that I will... be okay..._

She looked like she was reflecting my exact same emotions.

We finally stopped on the east corner of the dance floor, standing in front of the other as a sea of people swayed to the music in their little 2009 glitter glasses and confetti hats.

_The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone_.

Her eyes looked so needing.

_I may have lost my way now, having forgot my way home._

I didn't say a word to her as I stood there in my collared shirt, suspenders hanging from my slacks, looking at her beautifully saddened face, in her soft black dress.

_I'm falling apart... I'm barely breathing... With a broken heart, that still bleeding. ...In the pain, is their healing? In your name... I find meaning...._

I didn't allow myself time to think as I lifted my hand to her. She exhaled but still looked sad as she lifted her hand up to me.

_So I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) _

I slowly started walking backward, pulling her into the sea of people. My heart was breaking with every step I took, as the need for her grew stronger.

_I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm barely... holding on to you._

She didn't say a single word to me, but allowed me to pull her directly in the middle of the dance floor.

_I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm barely... holding on to you..._

The song slowed down to a quick end, and we stood there, with my right hand in her left.

Her chest was slowly heaving as she stared at me, trying to figure out what I was hiding behind my eyes.

I bit my lip as the people cheered around us. But they didn't shake us.

No, we stayed put.

_I'm holding on. (I'm still holding.) I'm barely... holding on to you._

Even though I knew it might kill me later, I released her hand and steadied my palms to her hips.

My heart wedged tight in my chest as the soft melodies of the piano bounced around us, as '_Need'_ by _Hana Pestel_ played out around us.

The lights dimmed to soft yellows and blues, making me see her watery eyes clearer.

I could practically feel her heart breaking right along with mine... but I wasn't for certain of why it was.

My eyes slowly trailed down her neck, and I found the necklace resting above her cleavage. I closed my eyes for a second as I pulled her closer to me, sliding my hands behind her back and massaging her slowly.

She left her arms dangling but didn't pull away from me, as she buried her face into my chest.

_I'm not quite sure how to breathe... without you here... _

I swallowed hard, caressing her soft hair before trailing my hands back to her lower body.

_I'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye... to all we were..._

I felt her fingers touching my thighs at first, as she started to relax her tension.

_Be with me... Stay with me... Just for now... _

I locked my fingers on the small of her back, feeling her heart pounding against my chest. My own heart barely felt like it was _moving_, it ached so much.

_...Let the time decide... when I won't need you._

I felt her hands slowly moving now, trailing up my forearms.

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

She slowly pulled her face back.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?..._

She linked her hands behind my elbows as I moved my face down to look at her.

She had her eyes closed as the second verse came on.

_Can I feel anymore? ...Lie to me, I'm fading..._

I continued to sway with her slowly, allowing her to put all her trust in me.

_I can't drop you. Tell me I don't need you..._

She smelled so good and felt so warm, as our nervousness bounced around each other.

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

I could feel her body trembling as she kept her eyes closed.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?_

I felt my own tears coming, but I blinked them away quickly.

And just as I was thinking for her to do it, she slowly looked up at me...

_Etch this into my brain... for me. Tell me.._._ how it's supposed to be..._

And both our faces mirrored the other. Painfully longing.

_Where everything will go... And how I'll be without you by my side..._

We were aching but perfect: My hands around her waist, her pressed up against me but leaning back as she trusted my support, with her hands on my elbows...

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

We were inhaling and exhaling at the same time. I felt crushed.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?_

And complete. And sore. Numb, but needing...

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

She closed her eyes for a brief second as the tears came out of her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?_

I took an unsteady breath and leaned my head down to her. I closed my eyes, kissing her forehead gently and holding my lips there.

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

I could feel her crying heavier now, as her fingers gripped onto me for dear life.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?_

It took everything I had not to crash down with her. I wanted her so much, so _badly_...

_My hand searches for your hand, in a dark room... _

She slowly looked up at me, her lips parted so she could breathe better.

_I can't find you... Help me... Are you looking for me?_

I supported her body with my weight as I leaned down and pressed my forehead to hers, our eyes locking.

As the song ended gently and people began to cheer, I slid my hands up to cradle her face with mine.

The next song was grindy, as the DJ announced it was getting closer: _'Bump 'n Grind'_ by _RKelly._

She moved her face a bit, so we could look at each other better.

I knew it was going to hurt me, but I had to say it.

I kept my voice gentle and light as a whisper. I knew she could hear me though.

"Bella, tell me how to let you go, if this is what is best for us..."

Her eyes fluttered shut as her chin quivered and her hands trembled.

I shook my head, keeping my forehead on hers, "I won't be okay about it, but I'll do it if that's what you want."

She shook her head but swallowed heavily, unable to speak.

My own voice was weak as I continued, "You won't have to worry about how I'll take it, Bella. I just want you to be happy; I want to see that beautiful smile I love so much... Even if the only way you can get it, is if I stay away from you."

She exhaled, and I could feel her heart pounding against me, "No Edward."

"Really, Bella, I'll understand."

"No, Edward, I can't let you just go away from me, I don't think I'd be able to han-"

"Edward!" Emmett jumped between us, wearing big 2009 devil horns, with his face looking urgent, "Come here, you've got to see this shit!"

"Emmett, I'm busy."

He didn't listen as he pulled me away from Bella, and Dean and Paul joined him, to where I couldn't fight against them.

"Guys! Come on, did you not just see me with Be-"

"She'll be there when you get back!" Dean shouted as he yanked me through the crowd.

They shoved me toward the VIP room and forced me inside the white sheets. Inside, Charlee and Bryan were swirling around the stripper pole with their dresses, as Jacob and a few of his friends sat on the plus chairs. The girls looked like they had a lot of practice on the poles, even though I knew they didn't. Were they naturals?

I shook my head as the DJ announced we had twelve minutes before 2009.

I sighed, pushing my way past my friends and through the crowd, making my way back to Bella.

We needed to finish the conversation. Get it all out and in the open so we could figure out where the fuck we were going to do.

But she wasn't there.

And she was no where around.

"FUCK!" I shouted, dropping my hands in defeat.

_Why me?_

* * *

**AlicePOV**

After my blowup with Bella earlier, Jasper yanked me out, all the way into the snow on the back porch.

I went off on him on accident, because I was so pissed, and I said stuff I shouldn't have.

And he was stunned.

Needless to say, he walked away from me.

And I felt like total and utter crap.

So I've sat here on the counter the last half hour, taking as many drinks as people handed me.

Vodka blasts, Tequila Sunrises, Jager Bombs, Neon shots... You name it, I've consumed it.

I was about to the point to where I couldn't stand straight, let alone see clearly.

But I knew if I went out there and danced, and saw Bella again, it'd be happening all over. And we'd kill each other.

I fiddled with the spike of my heel as I tucked my leg underneath me, sitting on top of the island.

I didn't like Rkelly, so there was no way I was dancing to this song.

I glanced down at my empty cup and yelled at the blonde server to go and get me another.

"Yes ma'am."

"And make it snappy, por favor." I sighed, pursing my lips.

_You've really made a mess out of things, Alice._

Yeah don't remind me.

_Falling for your former-friend's boyfriend._

_Masturbating and getting caught by the object of your desire._

_Cursing at him in the middle of a blizzard on the back porch._

Yeah, I'm a dumbass.

I began to pout as I sipped my new drink and listened to '_Apologize' _by _One Republic and Timbaland._

What was I going to do now?

Everyone is so caught up in their own drama, and here I am, making it worse.

I growled, downing the rest of my drink.

Then two hands grabbed my hips as I was pulled across the island, and dropped to the other side.

I struggled with my legs as I twisted around, pushing that person back.

And then I freaked out, because it was Jasper again.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry; I thought you were a date-rapist!"

He chuckled, shaking his head as he kept me from losing my balance, "No, I can't say I am."

I sighed, covering my chest. "You scared me half to death."

"It happens that way sometimes."

I looked up at him, unable to hide my puppy-dog pout face. "Jasper, I'm so sorry."

"For what?"

"For telling you that Bella cheated on you. It wasn't my place."

"Yeah... it really sucked being left out in the dark like that. If you hadn't said anything, that would have been a great feeling when I found out for myself."

I slumped my shoulders, leaning back against the counter edge. "Do you hate me?"

"No," he chuckled, shaking his head as his piercing blue eyes studied mine. "Not even a little bit."

I frowned, feeling really intoxicated, "Did you go and talk to Bella after you left me in the snow pile?"

He laughed, "I only left you because you told me to leave you alone."

"Yeah... I didn't mean that."

"And yes, I talked to her."

I pursed my lips, gripping the counter so I didn't sway, "So... how did it go? Did you, uh, you know, confront her?"

He shook his head, "No."

"W-why not?" I asked, crinkling my forehead.

"Because it doesn't matter. Yelling at her wouldn't fix what she all ready did."

I sighed, "It would make you feel better though."

"No," he shook his head again, "that's not what would help me. I'm not one of those guys who take shit like that too seriously, unless I am in love with someone... and I wasn't in love with her."

"I-I still shouldn't have told you though."

"I'm glad you did. It made me feel better about... _this _situation we have here at hand."

My breathing hitched. "What situation?"

"I don't have to feel guilty now, for falling for someone else."

Now the butterflies came along, full-throttle. "For maybe...possibly...falling for someone like... _me_, perhaps?"

He grinned, "Yes... perhaps."

I bit my lip, watching the twinkle in his warm eyes. "Does this make me a... homewrecker?"

"No," he sighed, grabbing my waist and pulling me to his chest, "...but it does make you an adorable drunk."

"Hey!" I slapped his arm playfully. "I am not drunk. I'm just... flavored."

He snickered, caressing my back, "Okay, well I made a song request that reminded me of you and the dream you told me about a while back... would the _flavored _girl care to dance with me?"

"Yes," I nodded, causing him to laugh more.

"Come on."

His warm hand covered mine protectively as he supported my hip with his left hand, walking me behind him and leading me to the middle of the dance floor.

"Nine minutes until the ball drops, people!" The DJ announced.

Then he twisted me around, and pulled me protectively into his arms as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Do you know that I like to sing?" he asked me, causing my heart to skip more than a thousand beats per second.

I blushed, "Yes... I may have listened to you a few... twenty times... over the past week."

He chuckled, as a soft melody started to play _'Breathless' _by _Shayne Ward._

"Would you mind if I sing to you?"

I beamed, shaking my head as the butterflies surrounded me, "Not at all. I'd love to hear it."

He leaned down, cradling my face in his hands, _"If our love was a fairytale, I would charge in and rescue you. On a yacht, baby we would sail... to an island, where we'd say I Do. And if we had babies, they would look like you. It would be so beautiful if that came true. You don't even know how very special you are... You leave me breathless... You're everything good in my life. You leave me breathless... I still can't believe that your mine. You just walked out of one of my dreams... so beautiful, you're leaving me... Breathless..."_

I smiled and then parted my lips, slowly breathing in this moment as I ran my fingers through his hair. This had to be a dream. This kind of connection can't possibly happen in real life.

_"...And if our love was a storybook, we would meet on the very first page. The last chapter would be about how I'm thankful for the life we've made... And if we had babies, they would have your eyes. I would fall deeper watching you give life. You don't even know how very special you are... You leave me breathless..."_

Jasper continued to hum the melody out loud as his blue eyes drowned me, taking all that was left in my legs out. I was so thankful for the grip he had on me, because if he let go, I'd be a puddle in the floor. I felt intoxicated by him, not the alcohol. He was so perfect, and I still couldn't believe he wanted to dance with me.

I could die right now, and wouldn't shed a single tear.

Because I _finally _got my moment with Jasper, the _true _man of my dreams.

As the song continued to repeat the chorus, he pulled his face away and steadied me back to the ground.

"Alice, have you ever heard of a year-long kiss for New Year's?"

My heart began to skip, "N-No... What's that?"

He smiled, "Well, after this song, we won't have a long time until 2009. A year-long kiss is when you kiss for three minutes before the ball drops, and three minutes after the ball drops. Because that's six minutes total... And six minutes times two people is twelve, making it symbolize a relationship guaranteed to last a full year..."

"Because there's twelve months in the year," I concluded.

"Are you up for it?"

I bit my lip and raised his wrist to look at his watch. We had three minutes and twenty seconds left. "Well... what if we started kissing longer than the equivalent of a year?"

He smiled, pulling me closer to him as I drowned in his scent, "Then I guess that means we might get really lucky."

I took a deep breath, feeling my heart already start spinning in excitement.

"Come here," he whispered, pulling me all the way up against him.

I felt my eyes flutter shut before my brain even comprehended how great my life just spun around.

I felt my breathing pick up and cascade between us, but I couldn't help it. Gently, he pressed his warm lips to mine.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I pushed him closer to me, wanting something firmer. I _needed _him at that point.

He confided, taking in my top lip between his as he pressed against me.

I sighed as he slowly caressed my chin with his thumb as he lifted it up, drawing my bottom lip in between his this time.

Our heads tilted as we continued to dance slowly to the fast song that was playing that I couldn't comprehend.

The minutes passed us by quickly, but it felt so good.

_How would Jasper feel if we just never stopped kissing? _I wondered to myself for a brief moment.

He parted my lips with his own, before slowly dipping his tongue inside my mouth. He was warm and his breath was incredibly sweet. His tongue swayed lazily and languidly with mine, the way I always imagined him to. We took our time, making it last.

...After all, we had more than six minutes total... and we _were _trying to symbolize what could be in our future.

"A hundred and twenty seconds people, get ready!" The DJ announced as all our friends started shouting and counting down.

I felt myself smiling against him as we continued to kiss.

He made me so happy, already.

I couldn't imagine how happy I'd be after a year from now...

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I stood trembling on the porch, with my long jacket around me. I could hear people counting down the last of the year, and closed my eyes, imagining everyone's excitement.

It wasn't that I wasn't excited for them, because I was. All I wanted was for my friends to be happy. But I just couldn't feel _happy _myself. Not after everything.

I leaned against the ledge and sighed. _It's over, Bella._

"What are you doing out here?"

My head snapped around quicker than my body, almost giving me whiplash.

There Edward stood, leaning against the sliding glass door of his bedroom, with his hands in his pockets and his collared shirt.

My breath immediately became _ragged_ as my heart started pounding, "I was just... thinking about our first kiss we shared. When we were fifteen."

_"106... 105... 104...!"_ they shouted beneath me.

He smirked, as his crooked grin came across his face, "Yeah... this very spot, this very date, but seven years ago."

I smiled delicately and nodded. "It was a great first kiss, Edward."

"Yeah it was," he replied, looking down as he continued to smile. "I remember feeling so nervous."

"Me too."

_"97...96...95!"_

"I'd never had a New Year's kiss before you, Bella."

I bit my bottom lip as my chest continued to ache for him, "Neither had I."

He nodded, slowly looking back up at me.

Our eyes settled on each other, and I could tell he was in pain still.

Pain _I _caused.

"86... 85..._ 84...!"_

"It just sucks that things had to end this way," he exhaled. "I thought we were meant for greatness..."

I closed my eyes, nodding. "I wish I could fix it."

"75...74...73_!"_

"Some things aren't meant to be fixed, I suppose." he replied through his heartache.

"Yeah... I really want to take it all back."

"_All _of it?" He asked nervously as he pranced to his other foot.

I shook my head, "Just the parts where we weren't together."

"66...65..._ 64!"_

"Yeah... I think we had to make that happen, you know, to learn and grow."

I sighed, "Yeah... I guess."

"51...50...49!"

He nodded, before pushing off the wall, causing my heart to skip.

Then I frowned as he turned toward the door.

"Well... I hope you have a wonderful night, Bella. Happy New Year."

"41...43...40!"

He opened it and stepped inside, and my eyes fluttered shut as my heart ripped apart.

"32...31...30!"

I heard his door open and close as he left the bedroom.

And my chest caved in completely as I began to tremble.

"27...26...25!"

I pushed myself off the ledge, slipping on the ice in my heels as I tried to make it into the door.

I grasped the side of the house and pulled myself inside, as my breathing became intense.

"22...21...20!"

"Edward!" I shouted as I ran through his room and swung open the door, escaping into the hall. "Edward wait!"

I kept running, looking quickly through the open doors of the bedrooms as I pushed on, "Edward! Please wait!"

"18... 17...16!"

"Edward!" I shouted again as I began to sway around the hall. The alcohol really took a hold of me at that moment.

_You're too late, Bella. _

I felt my chest heave as I trailed my hand along the wall for support, pushing my legs forward...

"14...13...12!"

I felt blank. Because I couldn't find him.

The intense pain in my body took me over, but I kept storming down the stairs as I heard everyone cheering.

"9... 8...7!"

My heart pounded until it was about to explode, but I kept shoving through the crowd... until I noticed a group of guys in the middle of the dance floor... One having beautiful bronzed hair.

"EDWARD!" I shouted over them.

"6...5...4!"

I made it over to him as fast as I could, and his eyes widened out when he saw me coming.

"Edward!" I shouted as I jumped for him.

"3...2...1!"

He took a step forward and caught me before I busted my face open on the dance floor.

_"HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!"_

I threw my arms around his neck, and my legs around his waist, burying my lips to his.

Everyone cheered and the confetti rigs Alice set up busted open and sprayed all around us, thanks to the enormous wind fans in each corner.

_Kenny G's_ classical rendition of "_Auld Lang Syne_" blared through the cheering and kissing crowd.

He drew my bottom lip between his as I grasped to him for dear life. He felt so good, so _perfect _along side me.

I felt my world spinning around fast as his lips parted and he slid his soft tongue in my mouth.

His hands wrapped around my body, pushing me up closer to him.

He was so warm against me. And his mouth was treating mine so delicately. So passionately.

I ran my hands up his shoulders and dove my fingers into his hair, missing the way it felt all those times without it. I never wanted to feel that lost again.

His lips molded with mine as we remained slow, and sensual, right along with the beautiful music.

After awhile, we began to increase and I felt my head growing dizzy as we both began to breathe heavily. My entire body began to react to him as I tightened my grip on my legs around his waist, moaning into his mouth.

I didn't give a fuck who was around us. I didn't care about Rosalie, or Emmett, or Jacob, or Tanya, or Jasper, or Alice, or anyone else.

He was all I wanted. All I cared about.

He tucked one hand under my hair behind my neck, while the other pushed on the small of my back, forcing me all the way against him.

"I love you so much," I gasped before pressing my lips to his. "Don't ever let me get this stupid again," I said as I applied another kiss.

"Don't ever let me let you go," I kissed him firmer this time, thrusting my fingers into his hair as I moaned, "because I'd rather you slap me in the face and knock out all my teeth, than to have you let me make this mistake again."

He chuckled and drove his tongue back into my mouth, spinning me around in the confetti pool slowly.

And as the beautiful melody continued on, he continued his passionate kiss. It felt amazing, and was so much better than our first kiss was.

Then I realized, this was our first kiss... of the new chapter.

The drums and chimes picked up, and he slowly set me back to my feet, without us parting our lips.

I gripped his neck, pulling him closer to me as the song continued to increase.

His hands gripped the sides of my dress as he jerked me to him.

Then the song slowed down, and so did the kiss... slow... sensual... and perfect.

He pulled away as the piano played its last riff, giving me a few slight kisses on the lips. "I love you too, Bella. Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year," I whispered to him as everyone cheered and began jumping around.

Then I stood on my tiptoes as he pressed his forehead to mine, and we stared at each other with smiles.

And then I realized that I'd go through all that heartache all over again, a million times more... just to have a perfect moment like that with him again.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After my entire universe flipped upside down and Bella jumped in my arms after I made the decision to let her go, I was back to square one again.

Our kiss was perfect and passionate and said everything we'd longed to say for soooo long.

Everyone ended up getting hammered, us included.

The night went on, but we didn't leave each other's sides.

We didn't care who saw us.

We didn't care about who had a problem with it.

She held my hand when we stood next to our friends and drank.

She danced with me to songs like "Sway" by The Perishers, "Red Light Special" by TLC, "Stranglehold" by Ted Nugent, "Touch It" by Monifa... the list and different song arrangement went on and on. And our bodies were perfectly pronounced in exact reflections, swaying and bouncing and teasing like we were making love to each other in the middle of the dance floor.

We always maintained contact... whether it be with our lips, or our hands, or our eyes...

We danced and partied and joked with friends until five in the morning, when we all lost our voices.

I watched as people left in cabs, but again, she never even let go of my hand or left my side.

I saw Jasper and Alice head up the stairs together, but she didn't look upset one bit about it.

She didn't even let go when Rosalie and Jacob and Tanya eyed us down at different times throughout the remainder of the evening.

Tanya ended up leaving with the rest of the crowd, besides the friends that Alice invited of ours.

She told me the other day in the kitchen that she'd be leaving after New Year's, the day that Bella and I had our outs.

So as she left, Bella just tilted her head to my right arm and waved at her, smiling silly as she squeezed my hand. Tanya just rolled her eyes and stormed out.

After all our friends found their different hookups and went their separate ways to do whatever they had planned: Bryan and Jacob, Charlee and Paul, Dean and a girl named Amber, Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett...

I wrapped my arm around her waist and led her into the kitchen, which was being cleaned up by the help. Everyone else was around in different rooms upstairs. We could hear their drunken laughter and could only imagine what in hell was going on up there.

I picked her up and sat her on the island, smirking as she found my jacket. I picked it up from her lap and wrapped it around her chilled arms, caressing them with my hands to create body heat.

We were beyond gone at the moment, but the desperation we had for each other lingered in the air.

She gripped my shoulders as I tried to walk away to get her some water, "Don't go. Ever again."

_Gosh, she is so adorable. _

I picked her right hand up and kissed the inside of her palm, "I'm just going to get you some water, sweetheart."

"I don't want any water, I just want to be with you."

"I know," I laughed as I slowly pried myself away from her, "but we need to sober up before we start throwing up everywhere."

"Well, y-you know w-what they say," she replied as her hiccups took their residence in her body, "you ain't partying on N-New Years unless you're h-hugging a t-toilet by the end of it."

"I'd rather not," I laughed as I handed her a glass of ice water and drank one down myself.

She swayed on the counter as I held her up, drinking it all down.

"Good girl," I replied.

"_Your _girl," she countered.

"Okay," I laughed, tossing the glass in the sink.

"Say it."

"My girl."

"That's better. Now s-say that you mean it, a-always."

I brushed her hair behind her ears, standing between her legs.

"I mean it," I whispered as I caressed her face, "Always."

She smiled, pulling me to her by the buttons on my shirt, "Good. Because I won't h-have it any other way."

I nodded, giving her a slight kiss before pulling her off the counter.

I took her into the second den, which had already been cleaned out, and sat her on the black leather couch as I lit the fireplace.

And, she pouted, because she didn't want me that far away from her anymore.

I scooted the couch closer to the fire and sat beside her, scooping her up in my lap.

"Yes," she replied as she rested her head to my chest, "this is _my _spot."

"Bella," I whispered as I caressed her hair, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"But... I think we need to take this really slow for awhile."

She snapped her dizzy head back, twisting her body around to look at me, "What?"

"Yeah... I mean, we've only been here a week now. We've still got twelve days or so... I think we should use this time to, you know, be friends first, and get to know ea-"

"I don't want to be your f-_friend _Edward," she replied drunkenly. "I want to _be _with you. I want to die and be buried next to you. I want you to cry when I go away, and tell me you've only loved me and -"

"Bella," I laughed, continuing to brush the confetti out of her hair, "we have all the time in the world, if we allow it... But there isn't a need to rush it anymore."

"I want you," she replied. "I do. I can't just be your f-_friend_, E-Edward."

"Shhh," I whispered to her as I pulled her up against me. "I know you can't. I didn't say we had to _remain _friends-"

"Good," she cut me off.

"_But_," I continued, "I think it's best that we take it slow, get to know each other again... Work through our problems in the past so we can stop bringing it up-"

"I'm over it," she tried to object again. "I forgive you for everything, I do. I don't care about Tanya, I was just as guilty. And I'm sorry for everything I ever did, every fight I ever caused, every stupid thing I did or said or didn't do or didn't say..."

"Bella please," I replied with a crooked grin as I watched the fireplace echo over her beautiful face. "Just think about it... I think it'll be good for us if we take it slow."

She sighed, not saying anything as she nuzzled back up to me.

"Plus, I think it'll be easier on Jasper and Alice and everyone else if we don't flaunt ourselves in front of them at every given moment. Get them used to the idea of us too. I know that, ultimately, neither of us cares about what they think about us being together, in the long run... But if we can save some relationships, I think it'd be even better."

She frowned but nodded after a few seconds. "Fine. We'll take it _slow_."

"Thank you," I replied before kissing the side of her head.

We watched the fireplace crackle as we wound down everything from the night.

"But..." she said after awhile, "...even though we're being _friends _and t-taking it s-_slow_... can I still tell you I love you when I want?"

"Of course," I smiled.

"Good, because I l-love you now."

"I love you too."

"Good, b-because I _really _love you. I _mean _it."

I laughed as she tried to be stern. "I love you too, Angel."

And as we ran our fingers along each other's palms and sat in silence, absorbing the heat from the fireplace... I felt reassured that we'd be okay if we took it slow.

I knew it would be anything but easy.

But if we remained on the same page, maybe it _could _work after all.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 111! **

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**

**-- I want you guys to add on the bottom of your review, who do you think was the best dressed couple of the night?!?! Tell me!! :D  
**

**-- ALSO start giving me some DARES or TRUTH QUESTIONS suggestions for upcoming chapters!!  
Anything you'd like to know about any of the characters in this life, or any funny dares, let me know!!**

**-- This chapter was re-written many times, with different outcomes, so I hope you like the one it was settled on.  
But remember, just because some people are happy doesn't mean there won't be trials and errors.  
**

**-- Thank you for telling me about the friend decision... it seems most of you are enjoying their company and are wanting them around for a little bit longer. :D**

**Reviews are better than having beautiful men singing song lyrics to you while you slow dance. :D**


	12. Sobered Results

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for all of our many personal conversations. I couldn't ask for a better person to call my friend.  
Thanks for continuing your awesome Beta work! Do you see now why you're irreplaceable? No one is better than you! ;)

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**Chapter Twelve: What does any human do when they've consumed enough alcohol in one night to last them a decade?  
They stay in bed, of course... Oh, I love hangovers. NOT.**

**OH. And I know a lot of you asked in previous chapters to get more into detail about the bad things that happened w/Bella and Edward after the break up.  
About why Jacob had to take Bella to the hospital, and why Emmett had to pick Edward up off the floor... Well, we dig more into that tonight.**

**But this is more of a loving chapter, more fluff and not too angsty -- except for that one part.  
SMALL ANNOUNCEMENT AT BOTTOM OF CHAPTER.  
Also, new T.E.F. fanart banner in my profile, if you would like to link it in your livejournals, etc's. I know some of you have asked for one.**

**--**

**Mindless A/N: Mmm, Mmm, Steven Strait.  
Of course, I'm all about the Edward and the Robert... Team Edward 100 percent...  
but I watched **_**The Covenant**_** again last night... he is SOOO Jacob. Dear God in Heaven.  
Give me one day with him and Robert, and I swear I'd... *sighs* It's too good to even talk about.  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**All I want is to be with you, all I want is to be with you...  
Show your cards, show me what you got...  
We'll break these poker faces, like it or not.  
Everyone's in my head, but I want you in my bed...  
I never wanna go a day without you... I could never go a day.  
Come closer to me baby, I've got everything you need.  
To fill your hunger pains for tonight.**_

_**The Audition, "Warm Me Up"**_

_**

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**_

**Chapter Twelve: Sobered Results**

**EdwardPOV**

"Dude!"

"Hmm?"

"Dude!"

"Yeadfdd..."

"DUDE!"

"What?!" I asked, popping my head up, and regretting it immediately, since the room started spinning out of control.

"What the fuck are you doing in my bed with me?"

I flopped my head back down, rubbing my face in the pillow. My voice was beyond gone at this moment; all you could make out through the raspy, hoarseness of it was the vowels.

"Seriously... Edward?"

I growled, throwing the covers over my head, "It was the only spot available."

"Huh?"

I sighed, rolling over on my back, "I put Bella in the Champaign room a few hours ago. She passed out on me earlier. Colleen and Makin are in her bed, Jacob and Bryan are in Rosalie's bed, you've got Rosalie over there in Alice's bed, I have no fucking idea where Alice or Jasper is, ...and everyone else is fucking sprawled out every fucking place..."

"Well..." Emmett asked, scratching his head, "who the fuck is in your bed?"

"Dean and some blonde girl."

"Ew, really? You let them fuck in your bed?"

"Noooo, I didn't _let _them, but..." I threw his covers over my head, trying to drown out the light from the bathroom, "I owe him one."

Emmett snickered, shaking his head, "How's that?"

"Let's just say... I've been an ass too."

"You fucked in his bed before?!"

"A year or so back. That's what he gets for letting me visit him in New York, and bringing over fifty gorgeous chicks. Of course something was bound to happen with _one _of them. It's just physics."

"Damn dude... Why didn't you bring a few of 'em back with you when you came home?"

I growled, throwing his pillow over my head, "I don't know. Dude, can you be quiet, I'm really fucking drunk right now."

"Why don't you just go sleep with Bella? I'm sure she won't mind... You guys can work off some carbs together?"

"No. We're just friends."

"Bullshit."

"No really, we are."

"Since when?"

"Since... tonight. Look, dude, really... give me a break and let me crash here with you. Please?"

"Fine."

"Oh, and why is Charlee in Rosalie's bed with her? Where is Paul?"

"Paul's passed out in the bathtub."

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Not at all. They were messing around, and then Rose and I came in, and he said he had to go piss... next thing we knew, he was passed out. And I ain't picking him up."

"No... just leave him."

"Alright."

I rolled over to face the girls, throwing the covers over my head.

"By the way, Mr. Oh-I'm-just-friends-with-Bella... I saw that New Year's kiss. Just wanted to let you know ahead of time, if you guys fuck up things for Rosie and I, I swear to God man, I'm taking you out."

"Don't worry about it, Emmett. Just get some sleep."

"I'm just saying-"

"I've got it. I'm pre-warned. Go to sleep."

"I would if this room stops spinning."

I snickered, covering my stomach, "Yeah, same here. If you're gonna throw up, aim it over there, and not on me, alright?"

"Yeah yeah, same for you."

"It's a deal. Now shut the fuck up."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The blow-dryer caused me to almost levitate off of the bed.

I shot up, blinking around and feeling my head sway around like a bucket of water.

My heart was beating out of my chest, my stomach was flipping in constant circles, and my entire body was a clammy mixture of heat and sweat.

"Ooops, sorry... Did I wake you?" Miss Evil Spawn herself replied in the most sarcastic voice I had ever heard.

"No," I growled, flopping back down on the mattress and covering my face.

"Good." Then she turned the dryer on full blast.

I took a deep breath and threw the pillow over my head, trying to block out the sound.

Then the radio turned on to fucking _Pink _bullshit. All I needed right now was to hear a whiney fucking singer trying to pretend she was anything _but _another pop star, when we all knew the truth.

I threw the pillow off my head and sat back up, eyeing Rosalie down.

She saw my reflection in the mirror and raised her eyebrow, while she continued to work on the ends of her hair.

I gave her a pointed look.

She turned off the blow dryer, twisting around in her long blue towel, "I thought you said I didn't wake you?"

"The blow-dryer did. Can you turn it off please? Who the hell blow-dries their hair at seven in the morning without having anywhere to go?"

"Probably the same type of person who steals their ex-girlfriend back from a charming, decent, intelligent man, just because they can't handle the competition."

I lay back down. "There was never any competition, Rosalie."

"Oh really?" she sneered, placing the dryer down and her hands on her hips, "Well it's good to see that you're still an arrogant son of a bitch."

I sat back up, scratching my head, "I didn't force Bella to be with m-"

"Bullshit, Edward."

"I _didn't_. It was her choice. I walked away last night... and besides, we're not even together."

"You can't fool a magician, Edward."

"Look, Rose, doesn't bitch hour start around noon?"

"I don't know, Edward. Is that before or after cocky, dipshit, arrogant asshole hour?"

I snickered, rising to my feet and throwing the covers back over a snoring Emmett, "You've really got some issues, Rose. I don't see how any of this is your business in the first place."

Before I could blink, I saw a blow-dryer flying at my head. I ducked, hearing it crash on the wall behind me, which caused Emmett to snap up in the bed.

"Don't play your stupid bullshit, Edward! You're gonna break my sister's heart again, and I refuse to let it happen twice under my watch!"

"Are you fucking crazy?!" I shouted, picking it up from the nightstand with the broken lamp.

"I don't know, you tell me?"

"Yes! Yes you're fucking crazy," I replied, tossing the shit on her side of the mattress, beside a passed out Charlee.

Rosalie stormed out in front of me, her eyes flashing with fire, "Stay away from Bella, Edward. I'm not kidding. Next time, it won't be a blow-dryer at your head, it will be a plugged in one inside of your shower. Got it?"

I didn't break her gaze, instead giving her the same intenment she was giving me. "If Bella wants to be with me, _Rosalie_, then that's her choice. You're not her fucking mother."

"No. It's _not _just her choice. Because she always runs to us when it goes bad, which it always _did _with you two, remember? Even in high school, when ya'll had one of your _stupid _fights, she ran to _me_! I always had to pick up her broken heart, I _always _had to get her to eat and shower and everything else when one of your guys' shit exploded so bad, that she didn't even want to move out of her bed, Edward! This is _my _business! Bella was happy before you came on this trip! She was _finally _moving on. Why in the hell would you ever get it in your head that I'd be fine with it and just allow this to happen again?!"

"Baby, come on-"

"Stay out of it, Emmett!"

Emmett shook his head, throwing the covers over his head and laying back down.

"It's fine, Em," I replied, giving her a smirk.

"See? That's what I mean. You're all cocky and arrogance, Edward. You don't care about my sister at all. She's just another game to you."

I nodded, licking my lip. "You're right. That's all she is."

"Yes."

"Well, you know what I'm gonna do Rose? I'm gonna leave this room."

"Good. Get out."

"In fact," I continued, walking around her with a smile, "I'm gonna go see if Bella will wake up. I'm sure she'll be more than willing to play a few... _games _with me."

"Edward, don't you fucking dare." She hissed at me.

"No, no, Rosalie, it's fine. I'm sorry to have disturbed your fantastic morning. In fact, I'll buy you another hair dryer and everything."

"_Edward_."

"Really, really," I smirked, opening her door. "I think Bella's waiting on me. She's probably really _lonely _in there all by herself... Probably really wants _my _company right now. I've got to go."

With that, I shut her door and strolled down the hallway.

I could hear Rosalie throwing a tantrum, but I just kept going, until I reached the Champaign room.

I quietly opened the door, to find Bella sleeping with my jacket over her black dress, curled over on her side where I left her a couple hours ago.

Her soft, brown hair swept behind her and out of her face on the pillow, her knees bent, and her hand holding a rose I found by the fireplace earlier.

She was beautiful.

I smiled and locked the door behind me, then walked over to her.

Brushing a stray strand away from her eyes, I leaned down, kissing the side of her head.

She hummed, nuzzling her face into the side of the pillow.

Snickering, I bent down and pressed my lips to her warm forehead, lingering there for a moment. She smelled of strawberries and cinnamon, like always, mixed with some serious alcohol intoxication.

I smiled against her skin, before pulling my face back up.

Then I walked over to the rocking chair beside the window, and took my residence there, crashing out as quickly as possible.

Rosalie never tried to get in here.

I'm sure Emmett put her in her place for awhile.

He hates to be woken up when he's hungover. It doesn't matter who they are.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I groaned, pissed that I woke up from my amazing dream. _Who in their right mind would want to wake up from a dream involving Brad Pitt, George Clooney, and you sitting on top of a poker table watching them strip down from their losing hands?_

I felt two arms wrap around my stomach, and froze instantly as they pulled me up against them. I glanced over my left shoulder, watching curly, twisted locks press up against me as the face nuzzled against my back. Then all the giddy butterflies soared over me, and I wasn't sure if that was a good thing, considering I was still feeling buzzed.

I pulled away slightly so I could roll on my back, to look at him. _Thank God you woke up, Alice_, I thought to myself. _Just look at him_.

Jasper continued to nuzzle, pressing his forehead against my shoulder as his eyes fluttered to a solid close. His face was warm, and he smelled delicious, in spite of the New Year's festivities.

I bit my lip and smiled, raising my right hand over my body so I could play with his hair. It was soft and silky, and once I pulled on it and released, it bounced back to its normal position. _He could be in hair commercials_, I thought to myself with a giddy smile.

Yes, leave it to me to think of hair commercials. _I am a girl._

I twisted over on my right side, and he pulled me closer to him, our chests and pelvic reasons touching. Curling my fingers together and sliding them under my face, I realized I couldn't wipe away my smile as I stared at him. He was the definition of serenity, wrapped up in a golden box with a big cherry-red bow.

And I couldn't believe I was lying next to him.

Just days before, I never imagined this possible. I never knew he had the same feelings toward me... I mean, sure, I guess I _wondered _about it.

After all, I did put both him and Edward in blue outfits, so either way, I'd be okay to dance with the two men of my choice, knowing they'd match me, and knowing that I'd feel secure either way. I almost figured that Edward and I would get drunk together, and hook up and regret everything in the morning... I mean, once I realized I didn't care about him in a boyfriend sense, it'd be pretty shitty of me to hook up with him. And yeah, sure I was still attracted to him -- _who isn't_ -- but... I'm just so glad Jasper opened his eyes and realized what he could have.

Because there were no one else's arms I'd rather be in than _his_.

Ever.

_Ever, ever, ever_, I thought, giggling again.

"What are you giggling about over there?" Jasper's raspy voice asked, as he kept those blue eyes of his closed.

I bit my lip, tensing up, "I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"No... I quite enjoyed the vibrations of your body in my sleep... Until it... you know... _affects _me."

"A-affects you how?" I stammered, my heart rising to my throat.

"How do you _think_?" he replied with a smile, causing me to lose all sense of consciousness. It amazed me, that while he was still half-asleep with his eyes closed, all he had to do was grin and I was a goner.

This couldn't be good for our relationship.

His thumbs began to stroke the small of my back while he continued to smirk. I shivered, closing my eyes as tremors pushed through me. If the slightest touch or grin had the ability to turn me inside out, I couldn't imagine what it'd be like to make love to him one day.

"What are you thinking over there, Beautiful?"

"Making love to you," I replied, before covering my mouth and freezing up into ice. _Oh my God, Alice, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!!_

God, Jasper is truly bringing out the ditzy side of me!

His eyes popped open, and he blinked a few times before his baby blues found my horror-stricken ones.

_Oh dear God, oh dear God_...

"I-I, uh..." I closed my eyes, wanting to find a hole and crawl into. This is twice I've made a complete ass of myself around him.

He snickered, his warm hands finding mine and pulling them off of my face, "Why are you hiding from me?"

"Please just kill me now."

"Why?" he laughed again, and my eyes found his.

I felt so embarrassed. "I'm such an idiot. I'm gonna scare you away before we even make it twenty-four hours."

He snickered, "And _why _would you think you're scaring me away?"

"Because!" I shouted, realizing I sounded like a pouty four-year-old. "Not counting masturbatory incidents, and home wrecker tendencies... we now have to add insert-foot-in-mouth moments to my resume."

"Alice!" he laughed, rolling on his back and pulling me on top of him, "First of all, you're not a home wrecker. You didn't try anything on me while I was with anyone else."

"But-"

"Shhh," he replied hoarsely as he covered my mouth, "And secondly, your masturbatory incident was just... mind-blowing..."

I buried my face into his striped sweater, praying a piece of the ceiling would crash on me.

"...and third... The insert-foot-in-mouth comments happen to everyone. No worries."

"Jasper, you're too nice."

"No, I'm a realist."

"I still can't believe you caught me," I growled to myself as I inhaled more of his _Cool Water _scent.

"When? In the bathtub?"

"Yes!" I hissed, almost crying in frustration. "No one has _ever_ caught me before."

He laughed, rocking my small frame as he lay underneath me, "Well... maybe one day, you can do it in front of me without me interrupting you..."

"Oh my _God_," I groaned, although my body tightened to his sensual response, "I don't think so."

"Why not? I mean, necessarily... isn't it fair for you to do that?"

"How so?!"

"Because... I was involved, _technically_. I think I deserve a show... you know... to see what I may be up against one day... The reality versus the... fantasies of me."

"Jasper," I pouted, refusing to lift my head and look at him, "you're not making me feel better."

"I'd do it for you."

My head popped up immediately, my face shocked without reservation. Jasper snickered, pulling me up on him, to where I rested my chin on his breastbone.

"You're lying!" I replied.

"I'm not. If you caught me jerking off and calling out _your _name... I would most definitely show you. It'd only be fair."

"Grr," I growled, trying to cover my face, but Jasper refused me, pulling my hands away. "You're _so _not fair."

"I'm completely fair."

I curled out my bottom lip and pouted. He licked his lip as his index finger lifted and began to caress it. All I could think about was sticking my tongue out and sucking on it. I'm sure every single piece of him tasted exquisite. My heart began to pound out of my chest and onto him, and I felt my hands tensing with my frame.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered, as his hands began to rub on my back.

"About kissing you."

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

He pulled me up higher on him, and I straddled him in my blue dress. "Well," he replied, his voice sexy-like and southern as he rubbed the length of my arms, "get over here and do it then."

I smiled and did as he commanded, leaning over and kissing him aggressively. I couldn't hold myself back. His lips parted the same time mine did, and his warm tongue darted out the same time mine did. I opened my mouth wider, demanding more attention, which he complied. He pressed down on my lower back, causing a slight moan to escape my lips. I felt him lick slowly, before engulfing me with his mouth.

All I wanted to do was grind on him.

And shred these clothes.

And admire him naked.

And demand he do the vilest things possible to me, for the rest of eternity, without stopping. That way, I could die happily = having sex with a God-like creature. _What a better way to go, right?_

He rolled us over, pushing up against me as our kiss deepened to the extremes. I ran my fingers from his back, along his neck, and up into that golden, sexy hair of his.

"Oh, that feels nice..." he whispered on my lips, before kissing me again. As soon as he began to speak to me within our heated moment, I felt my undoing coming on strong. My body became ignited with flames, and I needed more fuel.

"Jasper," I gasped, lifting my head to him when he tried to pull back for air. There was no way I wanted the kiss to end.

"Mmm," he hummed, giving me slight kisses, "you taste so good, Alice."

I gripped his shoulders, trailing my legs up the sides of his before wrapping them around his waist.

_I had no idea he was a talker! This is better than my fantasies!_

This truly _excited _to me... Most men don't do that, except for a few groans during the main act. _Oh dear God, I am in Heaven!_

He gently bit my bottom lip, pulling back a little while he smiled at me. And I felt the shivering effect on me intensify... bringing back my previous thoughts I had of him awhile back... _I wonder if it was possible to have an orgasm just by kissing him_.

His tongue slid back between my lips, causing another moan to escape from my throat. He kissed with extreme passion, as if were the last act he could commit on this Earth. He tasted amazing, and the way his tongue trailed along mine in perfect symmetries.... I felt my entire lower body intensify beneath him... tensing up... pulsing... _Yes... it was _definitely_ possible._

I gasped, refusing him to pull away once again. I threw my arms around his neck, pulling him to me as hard as I could. He smiled against my lips again, before sucking my tongue into his mouth. _ Oh dear God!_

His hands began to caress the back of my thighs, up toward my lace booty shorts. I pulled my face away to gasp for air as my shudders continued, but this time, he refused me. He pressed his sexy face back against mine, parting my lips with his before darting his tongue back inside my warm mouth.

I tugged on his hair, as the tips of his fingers traced the edges of the panties. _Was he going to touch me?!_

I sealed my eyes closed, trembling beneath his frame like a fallen leaf.

"Hey," he pulled back slowly, panting as much as I was.

"Yes?" I gasped.

"Are you alright?"

"Mmhmm," I replied, licking and tasting the sweetness of _Jasper _that lingered on my lips, "yes."

Jasper grinned, "Are you sure?"

"Yes... just... _wow_." I exhaled.

"What?"

"I'm just... I think it's possible to come by you just _kissing _me." I replied, biting my lip.

He pulled his face back a few inches, his sparkling eyes finding mine as his smile grew larger, "...Really?"

"Yes."

He grinned again, "Wanna find out?"

"Mmhmm," I nodded, all too eager as I pulled on him.

He laughed and came back down to me. And this time, he put everything he had into it... From gentle and romantic, to eager and desperate... His tongue did amazing tricks against mine and my lips... and his fingers never even touched my center... just the edge of the panties around my butt. And three minutes later, I was a goner...

Completely mush and gasping into his mouth as he pushed harder against me. He continued his teasing until I couldn't even _move _anymore. Then he buried his face into my collar bone while I unsteadily tried to regain my breathing patterns, my heart almost bouncing his face off my body.

I pulled my lip in my mouth, slowly prying my fingers from his shoulders. I didn't even realize I was gripping him _that _tight.

"Wow," he whispered as he rested his cheek against my heart, "I never knew that was even possible for a woman."

"Apparently it is," I gasped, pulling my trembling hand away from him completely.

I felt... weird.

"You're embarrassed," he guessed.

I nodded, covering my face, "A little... I'm just constantly worried about what you're gonna think of me... I just like you so much and I don't want to ruin my chances by saying idiotic things before I think them through, or having _orgasms _just by kissing you and then you think I'm a freak, and I just-"

"Alice," he snickered as he lifted himself above me.

"Don't laugh at me!"

"I'm not meaning to laugh _at _you darlin'. It's just... you're so beautiful. Really, you are. And you're sweet, and caring, and dedicated... you're feisty and spunky and have all this energy... you're compassionate and endearing and intelligent... you've got a career path planned... you're everything I've ever wanted in a woman, but never thought I could get. Why on earth would you think I'd think negatively about you?"

"I-I don't know," I stammered as I crinkled my forehead. "I'm just worried I'm not good enough for you, and it's going to dawn on you that you should be with the Bella's of the world, like other people."

"By the _Bella's_, are you referring to the friend of mine who ended up stringing me along and cheating on me in the end?"

"Uh..."

He shook his head, smiling as his index finger brushed my cheek, "You're all I want, Alice. I'm more confident about that decision than any I've _ever _made before."

I frowned, unable to hide it, "How are you so sure though?"

"I feel like I've known you for years... Ever since Jake and I saw you at Bella and Rosalie's house, before we even left on this trip... I told Jacob that. I just... knew that you and I'd have a connection."

"Me too."

"Good. Then stop worrying your pretty little head about what I think, or what I want... Because both answers are simple: You."

I smiled as he rolled over to his side and snuggled up against me.

Jasper sighed, pulling the covers over us, "And if we weren't sneaking down here in Renee and Phil's bedroom, I'd have to even up the score on our whole... orgasm bet."

I giggled, burying my face into his chest, "You'd be in some serious trouble if we weren't in here."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah... that's so."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I opened my eyes, making the loudest wheezing noise possible. My chest ached, my throat burned, and my temples throbbed.

I felt like I was sleeping on a waterbed, and would have convinced myself of that, except I knew there were no waterbeds in this cabin.

Covering my forehead, I rolled over and took a glance at the clock.

It read 12:23 p.m.

After adjusting my eyes, I sat up on my elbows, looking around. _How in the hell did I end up in the Champaign room?_

Then I noticed Edward asleep in the chair beside the bed. His legs were stretched out, and his elbow was on the armrest, his face in his palm. He was wearing his white shirt unbuttoned, his suspenders still dangling, his shoes still on, and his hair a beautiful mess...

Then I noticed I had his jacket on over my dress. I felt giddy all at once.

_New Year's and the kiss really did happen last night._

_It wasn't just a dream!_

After a while, I found myself frowning. I felt a little sad that he didn't even want to sleep next to me.

He asked that we take things slow, and I have to respect his decision... right?

Feeling pretty nauseated and dizzy, I slowly crawled on my knees, over the covers toward that side of the bed. I reached over and shook his knee, feeling the jolt of electricity bounce between us.

He slowly moved his hand, his face dropping down into the air before bouncing back up and blinking at me.

"Hey," I whispered to him.

"Hey," he replied, his voice so hoarse that I only heard the 'e' in it.

"Why don't you come lay over here with me, so you don't hurt your neck trying to sleep like that?"

He blinked a few more times and sat up slowly, his muscles tense with strain. "What time is it?"

"It's after noon."

"Wow," he replied, this time I only heard the 'o'. "I hadn't imagined I'd be sleeping this late."

"You sort of... look like ass," I replied with a giggle, "in a handsome way though."

"Thanks," he smirked at me as he scratched his head, "I feel like ass."

"Me too."

"Yeah... but at least you look beautiful while you're doing it."

He slowly stood up, stretching his arms over his head, and then he began to rub his stomach, making a sour face.

It almost made _me _nauseated, as my own stomach began to twist around without my permission.

Then he bent over and crawled on his hands and knees up beside me, plopping down on his stomach, and his face falling into the pillow.

I curled out my bottom lip, reaching my hand up and rubbing the back of his head.

His hair was so thick and beautiful and bronzed within my fingers.

It alone made me tingle.

He shot up, startling me as I froze up. Then he scooted his body over, until he plopped his head down into my lap, "I don't feel too good."

I bit my lip, rubbing his neck as he nuzzled his face into my leg. _Why did I have to be clothed?_

"Poor, poor, baby," I whispered with a blush, as my heart began to speed up.

"I know. Poor me."

We were flirting.

And I loved it.

And I missed it.

And I wanted it to never end.

"I think I need to be loved on," he whispered hoarsely.

I couldn't stop smiling. "I think... I can manage that."

His hands began to massage my thigh as he continued his adorable, weakened pout in my lap. Every time he touched me, I trembled with the contact. It was as if he was made of ice or something, and my own body had the worst sunburn on record... he felt _amazing_.

I bit my lip, trying to fight back the evil ideas I had of throwing my legs around his head... It'd be so easy to do, too. _Bad Bella. Bad._

"Mmm," he hummed, his hot breath cascading against my skin in delicate patterns.

I began to massage his shoulders and neck, receiving a "that feels good" from him.

"Yeah?" I prodded, massaging him more as I ignored my own head swaying from side to side like I was at sea. "Good."

He brought the tip of his cold nose to my inner thigh, rubbing a slight circle against it, "...really good."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, fighting against my own willpower. _Taking it slow, taking it slow._

His hand began to run along my shin, up and around my knee, massaging as he went.

_Oh dear God, we're taking it slow._

Then he tilted his face and provided a sweet kiss on my inner thigh.

Before I realized it, I gripped his skin with my fingers, biting my lip so hard I thought I was going to draw blood.

"Uh..." I felt him pull his face away, and turn it in my direction, "Are you okay? _Ow_..."

His hands came around mine and he pulled them away from his neck, willing me to open my eyes, which I eventually did.

"Bella?"

"Sorry," I gasped, shaking my head from my dizzy alteration, "I, uh... Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Are you okay?"

"Yes. Mmhmm. Much."

He chuckled, "Are you sure?"

"Yes. Fine. Perfect."

I glanced down at his bright green eyes, feeling my breath hitch again. _Taking it slow, taking it slow, taking it slow._

"Good," he replied, before resting his head back to my lap and placing my hands on his neck again, "you can continue if you'd like."

_Oh Edward. If you only _knew _the things I'd _like _to do to you._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After I straddled his back and gave him my best deep tissue massage I could muster in my hung-over state, he seemed very grateful. He pulled me beside him, as his index finger and thumb twirled a piece of my long hair around.

We talked about our friends who were visiting.

We talked about the party, and about the kiss we had.

We talked about everyone hooking up.

And all the while, I laid here and thought about one thing the entire time: kissing him.

My mouth literally began to water as I thought about him... I could taste him on my tongue, could feel the sweetness taking over my mouth, until it absorbed into my body...

I closed my eyes, pulling my lips together in a line.

"What's wrong?" he asked, his voice still as hoarse as it was a few hours ago.

I shook my head, unable to control the trembling in my voice if I tried to speak.

"Tell me."

I shook my head again, forcing a smile as I reopened my eyes.

His own were warm, and inviting, and making it that much harder to resist him. "Please?"

"It's nothing," I replied softly, "I've just... missed you."

"I've missed you too."

I licked my lips, and nodded, scooting closer to him.

Our faces were mere inches apart.

Three inches... that's all it would take.

I parted my lips, breathing as deep as I could.

He smiled gently at me, his eyes blinking slowly.

I felt stunned, like my brain had little sparkles floating around inside of it.

_What was he doing to me?_

"You know..." he whispered as his fingers brushed my cheek, "...I really want to kiss you right now."

My breathing hitched and my eyes locked on his, as my heart began to pound rapidly in unsteady beats. "I really want to _you _to kiss me right now too."

"Yeah?"

"Oh yes."

"Mmm," he nodded as he slowly scooted closer to me.

My entire body felt like it had been wrapped too tightly in some sort of elastic, and if I moved in any direction whatsoever, I was going to burst and explode and lose my damn mind.

He hummed, rolling half-way over me as he rubbed his nose along my shoulder.

I began to tremble, curling my fingers into slight balls as he worked his beautiful face up to me. He smelled delicious, like mints, cigarettes, body wash, and alcohol... All I wanted him to do was take me over and never let me come up for air. _Bring the shackles, Edward. I'm yours, take me away._

He began to slowly lower his face over mine, slower than necessary, if you ask me.

He rubbed his nose up and down mine, causing me to completely lose my mind.

I watched as he began to slightly open his mouth, tilting his head as he leaned closer.

I parted my trembling lips, begging him to just kiss me already.

_Just do it!_

He brushed his lip against mine, and my heart stopped all at once.

He was right there... _God, I've wanted this for so long now._

Then, he licked his lips and pulled away a little, "Mmm... absence does make the heart grow fonder."

Then he pulled completely away, rolling back onto his back.

"W-w... a-are you kidding me right now?" I stammered, covering my heart and demanding it to start beating again.

_What a fucking tease!_

He chuckled and shook his head, before rolling over and facing away from me.

"Edward!" I shouted as I propped up on my elbows, shooting daggers at his perfect, messy, coppered disarrayed hair. "Are you serious?"

He chuckled again, not turning back to face me.

I knocked the rose off the pillow, grabbed it, and swung it around, hitting him in the head with it, "You are so not fair!"

He laughed, wrapping the edge of the covers around him, "I was just seeing what you'd do, Bella."

"You are making me so frustrated!"

"I'm sorry, love."

"No you're not," I pouted, before crossing my arms and lying back clear on my side of the bed, as far away from his warm body heat as possible. "You're a jerk."

"But... I love you, Bella," he replied with another chuckle.

"Shut up Edward. God!"

All he did was laugh more. Giving me that cocky, arrogant... all too sexy laugh of his.

He was making me lose my mind.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I felt hot breath in my ear, causing me to tremble. "Jakey..."

"Mmm?" I asked, rolling over and wiping my ear in the cover.

That shit did too much to me.

Hot breath on my ears... _mother fuck me._

"Jakey..."

"Yes?" I felt my ear lobe turn wet, as it was drawn between hot lips.

My eyes popped open and I rolled over, finding Bryan wearing nothing but a beautiful smile as she cozied up beside me.

"Mornin'" I grumbled to her with a taunt smile. "What time is it?"

"Three thirty in the afternoon."

"Oh. Well then, I guess it'd be... good evening."

"Good evening," she replied with a snicker. She was perfect. And her bright blue eyes... _Jesus fucking Christ._

She grinned at me. "I was... thinking about asking you to join me in the shower. What do you think?"

"About joining you in the shower?" I asked as I lifted my head.

"Yes."

"Well... if you _want _to ask me, then I'd say... lead the way, sexy."

She giggled, running her fingers through my thick hair, "You were so amazing last night."

And then I fucking beamed, unable to hide it. "Which time?"

"Every time."

_Damn fucking straight_. "Thank you. So were you."

"Good," she replied with a slight smile. "Wanna do it again?"

I laughed, rolling over on my back as she straddled my hips. She was naked and beautiful, as the sunlight beamed across her nipples and perfect stomach.

"Fuck yes," I replied, my hands gliding along her hips.

She pressed my shoulders down into the mattress, before scooting under the sheets, throwing them over her head as she went.

"Where are you going?"

"You'll see..." she replied, as I felt her wrap me in her delicate hands.

"Oh dear God," I said, throwing my head back into the covers as she took me in her mouth, making me hard as a rock inside of her throat

She's done this several times now.

All we've done is had sex, since we came up here to mine and Rosalie's room. And each time, it's been better than the last. I've never known a woman to be so flexible, and... let's just say, I've had my share of experience with them. But Bryan... she liked _anything_. Any position I could think of, she was eager, flexible, and more than willing. And she wasn't a ho, that much I knew. Which made it that much _hotter_. There was nothing sexier than a woman on the streets and a freak in _my _bed.

We've gone through half a fucking box of condoms. I've gotten a mere three hours of rest. From noon until now. But as I _lay_ back, watching her head bob up and down beneath the covers, I knew I didn't need to sleep ever again. _How many people can say they've fucked supermodels and successfully get away with it? Oh yeah. Me. Jacob fucking Black._

She threw the covers from her head, and my eyes widened as I watched her continue to work on me. I leaned forward, brushing the hair out of her eyes. She pulled away, licking her lips as she panted, "Thank you. It's so hot under the covers."

I snickered with a nod, moving all her hair to the side of her face.

She provided another lick, keeping her eyes locked on mine. Dear God, she _was _sexy. "I got an idea... can we continue this in the shower?"

"Of course," I replied with a smile. She nodded, and turned around on her knees, giving me a beautiful view of her naked body. I rubbed my face before following her into the bathroom.

She quickly turned on the water and pulled me inside, causing me to laugh out loud. It amazed me, how hung-over I _wasn't_. I guess Jasper's mother was right when she told us all that physical activities were the best for hangover's that one day... I'm sure she didn't mean it in the way _I _took it, of course...

Regardless, I'd have to call her and send her a gift basket.

Bryan pulled me to her, through the water, until she was smashed up against the wall. I gripped her hips, picking her up as I pushed into her harder. She bit my bottom lip as she dug her fingers through my hair, panting, "I want you now."

"Oh yeah?" I asked as I bit her neck.

She threw her head back, causing a loud _smack _to echo on the wall.

I pulled her away, gripping the back of her head with my hands. "Are you okay?" I asked with a chuckle.

She nodded, before pushing me back hard and pinning me up against the shower door, "Perfect."

"Good," I panted, gripping her hips roughly.

"Keep your eyes on me," she said as she began to lower her body on mine.

I brushed the water out of my face, watching her twist around. Then she rose back up, rubbing her ass against my legs as she went. I watched as she leaned over, holding herself up on the seat in the shower, while her left hand found me and guided me to her entrance.

"Are you watching?" she panted, before whipping her head around and resting her chin on her shoulder to look at me.

"Yes."

She continued to move, until she was pushing me inside of her.

"Fuck," I groaned, gripping her hips and pulling her to me, until I was all the way inside.

"Oh yes, fuck me," she panted, as she began to push and pull herself along my dick...

My eyes clamped up, and I pulled out, pushing my body against the door, "Wait, wait, we've got to stop."

"Why?" she asked as she rose to her feet, twisting around and looking at me, her blue eyes filled with shock.

"I don't have a condom on."

"It's okay, I'm on birth control."

I shook my head, wiping my face from the water, "I know, it's just... I don't feel comfortable doing it without it."

She pinned her body against me, stroking me with her palm, "But... it feels so much better, for both of us this way."

"I know," I panted as I closed my eyes, "but... I'd still feel safer with one."

"Okay," she replied, before moving me to the side and opening the door.

"Where are you going?"

"To go get one."

I nodded, walking over and quickly scrubbing my face and hair.

She was back within seconds, twisting me around.

She stuck the gold wrapper in my lips and teeth, and keeping her eyes locked on me, she opened her mouth and tore the top of it open with _her _teeth.

My heart began to speed up as I watched her trail her tongue inside the wrapper, pulling the contraception out by the tip of her tongue. She grinned and lowered to her knees, before applying it to my body... with her mouth.

"Oh. Fuck. Me."

"Mmm," she replied as she pulled her mouth away, "I plan on it."

Before she could blink, I had her pulled back to her feet, twisted around, and planted against the shower seat, picking up where we left off.

After all, I'm dominant, by nature.

And she loved every fucking minute of it.

That's why she was a keeper.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

"Rosie," I called for the eighteenth time in the hour, knocking on the bathroom door.

We were fine after Edward left, and all the hours past it... until I defended my friend.

Apparently, that's a big no-no in Rosalie's book.

"Go away, Emmett."

"Not 'til you come out here and talk to me."

"No. Go away."

I sighed, leaning my forehead against the door, "I love you."

"I love you too, but your words don't seem to stop you from your actions."

"Rose, all I said was that you needed to give Edward another chance."

"Why _should _I?"

"Because... Edward is one of my best friends on this entire planet. I know a lot about the kid, more than anyone else almost. He's a good guy, Rose. We've all made bad mistakes, but... how would you like it if you were being held down by your past decisions?"

"That's not the point, Emmett! You didn't see Bella, in the hospital after she had that severe panic attack. And you didn't see Bella the day she tried to ... to... God I can't even say it."

I slid to the floor, noticing her feet move along the crack of the door. "Babe, you've got to let Bella make her own decisions."

"No, I have to protect her. It's my job."

"I understand that you're the older sister and all of that, but-"

"It's not just me being the older sister, Em!" she sobbed through the door. "Okay? The hospital almost wanted to _keep _Bella for a couple weeks, because her depression got so bad. They were going to admither, until she agreed to let me be her pointed guardian and take care of her while our parents were away. I'm not doing all this shit again."

I pressed my forehead against the door, shaking my head, "Bella's a lot older than eighteen now, Rosie. I'm sure she won't make that same mistake twice."

"She already is."

"No... She's just thinking about what _she _wants, and not what everyone else _wants _her to want."

"He's no good for her."

"According to you... but you don't have to date him, babe."

"Emmett! Why can't you just be on my side? Why can't you just support your _girlfriend_?"

"It's not that I'm picking sides. I'm on the fence babe, I don't have sides. Edward's my buddy, and you're my girl. I understand both your reasoning's... But I think we have to give them a chance to decide for themselves."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO!"

I exhaled. "Yes, Rose."

She swung open the door, and I found her sitting on her knees, with her hand on the door handle as she glared at me, "I'm not picking her up off the ground again, Emmett. I-I can't do it. I'm not going to spend every waking moment hiding fucking bottles of prescription drugs from her, and knives, and ropes, and anything else I could think of that could possibly hurt her, if she allowed it to. If she _ever _convinced herself she had no way out unless that mother fucker was with her... If her depression got any worse, Emmett, I swear, she was going to kill herself."

I shook my head, "Bella's not like that. She's not that type of person."

"You didn't fucking see her!" she sobbed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand, "You don't know! You didn't come home one day, to find your sister who just graduated two weeks before, sitting in a bathtub for so long that she became hypothermic. I called Jacob, freaking out, and made him come over and help me. Bella kept breathing heavily, _begging _Jacob to help her, shouting she was having a heart attack. He picked her soaked, pale body up out of the tub, and we took her to the hospital, where they had to inject her with all this shit and wrap all these heated covers around her... They wouldn't even allow pencils or anything to be around her until they knew her state of mind. It's not that Jacob and I always hated Edward, _Emmett_. But we saw what he did to her. We saw the toll he took on her... And I swear to God, I will not go through that again."

I ran my fingers through my hair as I scooted closer to her, "I know that must have been hard for you."

"Hard?!" She repeated, her hands falling to her lap as her tears got heavier, "No, not hard. Disastrous."

I nodded, crawling closer, "I understand baby, and I'm sorry you had to do that. But I've seen Edward down, too. I've seen him strung high on drugs, popping shit left and right, all these sorts of pills. One time, I found him face down on my kitchen floor, with his eyes almost fucking _white_, and bloodshot all to hell. He was pale as a ghost, and limp as a fucking string bean. At first, I thought he was dead... Then he just fucking began shaking, and I couldn't stop him or calm him down. His body temperature kept rising and rising, and he began to sweat and shit, gasping for air. He kept clawing at my shirt with what little strength he had, begging me to help him with what little words he could get out... Most of them were all incomprehensive. I made my buddy Joe call Edward's dad, and he flew over there. It turned out, he was having a reaction to fucking Ecstasy. Carlisle said that he almost had _Hyponatremia_, which is a condition where excess fluid intake swells the brain mixed with that drug, normally resulting in a fucking _coma_. He said if I arrived fifteen minutes later, Edward probably wouldn't have made it. That he'd be fucking _dead_."

Rosalie had her hand covering her throat, as her eyes were wide and filled with tears.

I nodded, rubbing my face, "It wasn't just Bella that was having a hard time. They _both _took the break up pretty fucking bad."

"Which is why they shouldn't be together!" she shouted at me.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "that's not the reason. Look, babe, I don't want to see Edward or Bella get hurt again either. But if you push them away from each other... now that they're trying to make all this shit work and get it all figured out... I think pushing them away from each other is going to have worse effects on them, than allowing them to work it out for themselves. Neither of them are in the state of minds that they were in back then, when it was too difficult on them... They're mature. They're both stronger. They're going into this with both eyes open. And right now... They need support, not negativity."

Rosalie shook her head, wiping her face again, "I'm sorry Emmett. I can't do it."

I sighed, leaning back against the door, "Well, I'm sorry too. But I can."

She nodded, crossing her arms uncomfortably around her chest, "So... where does that leave us, then?"

"I'm not sure. Wherever you want it, I guess."

She sighed, shaking her head, "I don't want us to break up over _them_."

"Then we won't."

"But I cannot support your decision to encourage Edward and Bella, Emmett. I won't do that."

"And... I cannot support your decision to keep them apart."

She nodded, leaning against the cabinet, "This could get bad for us."

"Yes."

"And I really think you're making a big decision in wanting them to be together."

"I respect that. But I don't agree."

"Fine."

"Okay."

And we dropped it.

And we didn't talk about it again for the rest of the day.

Instead, we curled up on my bed and watched television for the rest of the night, dozing off between our hang over's and bathroom breaks.

Oh, yeah... Paul never left the empty tub. But we checked, and he was breathing. No worries.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After Bella and I recognized that no one else was leaving the bedrooms today, we decided to make our way downstairs to the kitchen, around eight at night.

I put her in my boxers and undershirt, while I kept on my slacks and no shirt.

_And dear God, did she look perfect in my clothes._

We were both starving, yet still sickly.

Hung-over, but fine.

But we both knew that if we kept ourselves cooped up in that bedroom... something was going to go down. And we were both hanging on the too-horny-to-stop-it ledge, by one finger.

So I suggested soup.

Bella had her hands in her lap, sitting in one of the barstools by the counter as she watched me dig through cabinets.

"Do you want your favorite?" I asked as I twisted around to her.

She smiled, "Do you remember what it is?"

"Of course," I replied, giving her my best crooked smile, "It's cheese chicken tortilla."

She became giddy, unable to hide her pink blush from me, "I didn't think you'd remember."

"I remember everything about you," I replied, as I twisted to turn back to the cabinets.

I could hide my giddy smile from _her _this way. _Thank you, Jesus._

I cleared my throat, pulling things out, "So... is that what you're craving, then?"

"Are... are you going to make it?"

"Yes."

"Really?" she replied, her voice high and giddy again, causing me to snicker.

I twisted around, in just enough time for to watch her push her face into her fist, "Yes."

"'K," she replied, not moving her hand.

I nodded, before turning back around. I pulled out all the ingredients, the main ones being chicken stock, cooked chicken, green peppers, jalapeno peppers, garlic...

I began to work on it, sautéing the onions and garlic in a pan, while I cut the chicken and tortillas and threw them in the flour.

As I worked, I noticed her tilting her head and watching me, or blushing, or biting her lip, or fidgeting with her fingers.

She was so damn adorable, and she had no idea.

While I let it simmer, I began to work on the sauce.

"Are you making that from _scratch_?" she asked, popping up on her elbows across the counter.

I smirked, "Of course."

"Wow... what's the occasion?"

I twisted around, giving her my best smile, "Because you love me."

"Ohhh," she replied with a smile, and that damn blush went back again to her cheeks.

"Well, um, is there anything that... I can do for you?"

I grinned. "Sure. Sit there and look beautiful. Shouldn't be that hard, right?"

"Edward, stop," she replied, covering her face quickly, before running her fingers through her hair.

"Stop what?" I replied with a chuckle, knowing damn well what she was talking about.

"Being _you_. I can't handle it."

I laughed, continuing to cook her food, "I'm sorry love, I cannot do that."

She let out a playful grown, covering her face again.

That made me laugh more.

I stuck the tortillas in the oven at 400ºF, sprinkling it with salt before closing the door.

I began to hum an unknown lullaby, something that had been in my head for a few days, while I continued to work my magic.

It always impressed Bella that I knew how to cook. I think it made her more turned on.

"_Stop it_," she growled at me.

"What did I _do_?" I replied with a laugh.

"I can't handle you, with your slacks hanging _that _low, cooking my favorite dish by _scratch_, while you hum sweet melodies to me in that soothing, _teasing _manner."

I snickered, stirring the sauce again, "I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing to me."

"Okay... then I'm not sorry."

"_Edward_."

"What?" I replied with a laugh.

"You're doing this on purpose!" she replied, throwing a few straws at me from their container on the island.

I bent over and picked them up, and then winked at her as I continued to cook.

"Grr!" she gritted through her teeth.

Once my sauce was mixed and I began to simmer the chicken, I picked up the sauce bowl and walked over to her.

I continued around the island, until I twisted her and the barstool around with my knee.

Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I licked my lips and sat the bowl on the counter.

Then I pulled the wooden spoon carefully to her lips, "Taste it."

She hesitated, the sides of her lips forming into another bashful manner.

I raised my eyebrow, and grinned at her, moving the spoon closer while I kept my other hand beneath it, making sure it didn't drop on her. "Please?"

She tilted her head, still not trust me.

I leaned in closer to her, slowly, not removing my eyes from hers as I whispered, "Please, Angel?"

I watched as she opened her mouth, and I did too, trapping the sides of the spoons with our lips as we tasted it at the same time.

She slowly pulled away, and I noticed her breathing became more erratic as she watched me lick my lips, and she did the same to her own.

Keeping my poker face on, I lifted an eyebrow, silently asking her thoughts.

She gripped my hips, pulling my already-too-loose-slacks against her, my body pressing between her legs.

"It's perfect," she whispered, as she began to kiss along my Adam's apple.

I closed my eyes, enjoying the heat from her mouth as she licked along my skin.

I began running my fingers through her hair. It felt so soft, and delicate... I loved these gentle waves.

_Shit Edward. Taking it slow! Get away!_

Clearing my throat, I pulled away from her while her mouth trailed along my jaw line, until I was completely against the fridge.

I watched as she curled her fingers into tiny fists, getting more frustrated with me.

_Pull it together, E._

I smiled and walked away, back to my cooking -- or my distraction, as it was becoming.

"God," she growled at me under her breath. "You're so... I can't even think of a word for you right now."

"Sorry Bella," I whispered, while I ran my fingers through my hair, avoiding the space between us while I finished her food.

Once all the cooking was done, I stirred in the sour cream and cheese, checking the temperature to make sure it reached 165ºF. Then I piled the tortilla strips into haystacks and garnished the top with fresh cilantro, sliding it over to her with a large cup of ice water and a pleasant smile.

She beamed, pulling the plate to her, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," I replied softly.

Her eyes trailed up to mine slowly, and we got lost in the moment.

Both our lips parted as we stared at each other from opposite sides of the counter, and our eyes locked with intensity and pure passion.

I knew my heart began to thud, and it probably matched hers.

But I couldn't look away.

And neither could she.

_Oh shit._

I felt myself leaning across the counter, toward her face.

She began to absent-mindedly lean to me, her lips a mere inch from mine.

"Bella," I whispered, my thumbs brushing along her forearms as I continued my lean.

"Yes?" she whispered back.

"We can't do this yet..."

"...I know."

We continued to lean, beginning to tilt our heads and lining our pouts.

"...So," I continued to whisper, as my heart began to climb up my throat, "...we should stop."

"I know."

I felt her bottom lip brush mine, and I tasted her briefly.

Then we quickly jerked back, the both of us at the same time.

Like we had been electrocuted.

My chest heaved, matching the rhythms of hers as I stumbled backward, until I was up against the kitchen sink.

She cleared her throat, swallowing down her ice water in large gulps.

I rubbed my face and twisted around, suddenly occupying my eyes with the cabinet.

Then I quickly pulled out some blueberry waffles, tossing them in the toaster.

"I'm sorry," she announced heavily.

I twisted around, looking confused.

"I'm sorry about that," she replied, scratching her head, "I know you said you wanted some space... I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I nodded, feeling my stomach tighten, "It's... my fault too."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

We nodded in sync.

"Okay then," she said, looking back down to her soup, "that's settled."

I inhaled, swallowing down the sand paper feeling as I pulled out the butter and syrup.

"By the way this tastes really good, Edward. Thank you for it."

"You're welcome."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After my food was made, we carried our stuff into the living room.

She began to click through channels, placing her soup on the armrest of the couch while she curled her knees up to her chest.

I sat beside her, leaving a slight gap between us, for all intents and purposes.

We remained silent, like we had for the past five minutes, barely gazing at each other.

It felt awkward, and intense, as the chemistry between us bounced around from the lampshades, to the coffee table, to the television and back, to the couch cushions...

It was fucking everywhere, and we couldn't get away from it.

"Um, is... _South Park_ okay?"

"Sure," I replied heavily, shoving as many waffles into my mouth as God would allow.

I figured if I kept my tongue occupied, I wouldn't want to cram it down her throat.

...It didn't help.

I still wanted to.

More than ever.

We ate in silence, trying to focus on the episode where the _South Park_ characters were playing _World of Warcraft_.

Bella giggled a few times, but I refused to look over at her, afraid the temptations of her high crimson cheek bones, her welcoming hazel eyes, and her luscious bottom lip would be the end of me.

I sat my empty plate down on the coffee table, leaning far over on my left, as far away from her as possible.

I could hear her sigh, as she leaned further away from me.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

An hour and a half, and three episodes later, all the while, us remaining in pure silence... I think we were both at our peaks.

Every single thing in my body, every cell, every demantur was just _begging _for her to nurse their aches. They wanted her to knead, and kiss, and touch, and suck...

_Holy shit._

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends.

_You will not cave in, you will not cave in. You two have too much shit that is unsettled. Do not cave in. Do NOT cave in._

Not following my order, I slowly turned to my right, to find her leaning on her elbow against the armrest, her legs curled up on the side of her, and looking dead straight at me.

And her eyes were _piercing_.

I lost my breath and snapped my head away, eyeing down the plasma television like it was a fucking alien.

She cleared her throat and slid next to me, causing me to tense up completely.

"Do you, uh, mind if I put my head in your lap while we watch TV?"

I shook my head and lifted my arms, feeling my entire body tighten up as I watched her flip her hair around and nuzzle against my left leg.

I closed my eyes, holding my breath. I needed to avoid that fucking perfect scent of strawberries and fucking cinnamon.

_You will not give in, you will not give in, you will not give in._

"Hey Edward?"

I cleared my throat, shaking my head and popping my eyes open, "Yeah?"

"You can lower your arms."

"Oh," I replied, dropping my left one to the armrest and my right one over her hip.... that beautiful, curvaceous hip that is decked out with my boxers.... _my boxers_...

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers, leaning my head back against the couch.

_Do not get a woody, do not get a woody... Oh God, don't give in..._

She giggled, her hand brushing slightly over my legs, and down by my inner thighs.

"What's so funny?" I asked gently, trying to control my breathing.

"This... um, episode."

"Oh." I shut my eyes again, leaning my head back against the cushion and lowering my body on the couch.

Then I noticed her head bounce along my crotch while I moved, before she nuzzled her cheek against my slacks again.

I licked my lips, my right hand beginning to tug on _my _shirt, which _she _was wearing... above that curvaceous hip, that was decked out in _my _boxers...

Bella hummed, pressing her sexy breasts against my right leg as she continued to nuzzle her cheek against my zipper, and rub her right hand along my left thigh.

She was fucking paying me back.

_God damn it. _

She was getting me back for teasing her earlier.

She hummed again, nuzzling her face into my pants much harder.

I scratched my head, my body tensing up. _Onion breath, pimples, nasty butt smells..._

I felt her slowly twist her head, blowing hot breath right on my dick, through my fucking pants.

_Fucking Perez Hilton, old women's panties, nasty pubic hair, bad breath... Come on, Edward._

I felt myself grow hard and I quickly lifted her up off of me.

Her face was shocked, her mouth in a perfect 'o', which made me think of a couple things I could put there easily.

I shook my head, pushing her back to her side, "Sorry, you just can't... I think we need to give ourselves some space."

"What's the problem?" she replied sarcastically, licking her lips and grinning at me like she just won a fucking award.

She giggled, biting her lip as she stared at my pants.

I tilted my head at her and rose to my feet, causing her to laugh louder.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Would you... like me to... help you with that?"

I growled at her, lifting a couch pillow and tossing it at her, "Shut up."

"I'm just saying, you know... I'd be more than willing to help you, if you want."

"You're fucking evil," I cursed at her.

Then I exhaled and walked away, trying to regain my fucking thoughts.

When that didn't work, I decided it was either a quick private session, or a cold shower. I chose the first option, because I wasn't certain that a cold shower would fucking work at this moment in my life... and I could get it done quicker.

However many minutes later, I swallowed my pride and came back to face the music.

She was biting her thumbnail and grinning, watching my every move while I sat next to her.

For arguments' sake, I tossed another pillow at her, and told her to shush it.

"Feeling better?" she whispered, before giggling into her palm.

"Much. Thanks for asking."

"Anytime. I'm here all week," she replied with another snicker.

I thought seriously about mocking her like a five-year-old boy, but decided against it, leaning back against my side of the couch, "I'm going to fucking get you back for that by the way."

"Mmm, I highly doubt it."

"Trust me, I will."

"Whatever you say, Edward."

I pursed my lips, thinking of all my options throughout the rest of the night.

We shared slight gazes and smiles every once in a while.

She even brought me a soda once.

But we remained on separate sides of the couch the entire night, until it was time for bed.

Then I lay above the covers, giving her the underneath.

And I thought about all the fucking ways I planned to get her back... and boy, did I have a lot of ways to do it.

She was really going to regret ever teasing me, that's for damn sure.

I grinned, pulling off my shirt and nestling against the pillows.

_Is it tomorrow yet?_

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 12! **

**-- The best dressed couple winner is: Edward & Bella!!**

**Here are the full, individual results:**

**Edward = 23  
Bella = 19  
Rose = 16  
Emmett = 13**

**Jasper, Alice = 10  
Bryan = 6  
Jacob = 4  
Paul, Charlee = 3  
Colleen, Makin = 2  
Dean = 1  
Tanya = 0**

**THANKS FOR YOUR VOTES!!! **

**

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**

**-- There's still time if you want to give me your Truth or Dare ideas!! I can use them, so feel free to get as free as you want with them. If there's anything you'd love  
to see your fave/least fave characters do, or know about any of them, put them on the bottom of your review!!! **

**-- Oh, and there will be a LOT of new challenges for Edward/Bella to face. Not all of them are going to be happy, either. I really want to put some new tasks in their hands, reminding them  
of old memories, and see how they deal with them THIS time around. I want to test their limits and their love, that way we can all see whether or not it's for real. Now, I know most of  
you will understand my reasoning behind it, and some of you don't want to read anything at all that could be negative about them. But I feel true love stands the test of time,  
and what a better way to test them, than to create common interceptions, and see how things are handled this time around?  
No worries though. I have an outline, and a plan, and I refuse to steer anyone in the wrong direction. I just wanted to give a head's up that it's not ALL going to be about fluff, for anyone.**

**Reviews are better than a teasing Edward.... sometimes. ;) **_***mind going straight to gutter***_


	13. Getting Free

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for everything you do. I am so proud of you, and you know why. Congratulations for making through this! You're so strong bbdoll. Thanks for being my beta!

--

**Chapter Thirteen: From the moment Bella wakes up, she realizes she's in for a treat. Edward decides to get Bella out of the cabin,  
and takes her for a day on the town. Breakfast, bowling, shopping, etc.... Flirtations string high and chances are taken as the evening progresses...  
But what does that mean for their friends negotiation? Read to find out.**

**Includes mild angst, but mostly fun!!**

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**

**I have a little treat for my EB kiddies.  
ONLY Bella and Edward's POV this entire chapter!!  
Outfits, gifts from mall... all pictures now on profile. GO LOOK, sillygeese!**

**A/N: I think I've watched the hour long RK Vanity Fair shoot too much... hence the flirtations and the outfit choices. ;)  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**I've been roaming around, I was looking down, at all I see...  
Painted faces fill the places I can't reach... You know that I could use somebody...  
You know that I could use somebody...  
Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak...  
Countless lovers, under cover, on the street.  
You know that I could use somebody... You know that I could use somebody...  
Someone like you.**_

_**Kings of Leon, "Use Somebody"**_

_**

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**_

__**Chapter Thirteen: Getting Free**

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**EdwardPOV**

I didn't sleep well last night.

Once my erratic stomach had settled down from my extensive liquor intake consumed from the New Year's party, I was causing it to flip again, with the mere thoughts of everything I had planned for Bella. Thoughts of teasing, corruption, fornication, domination... Things that could probably be considered _repulsive _in some countries... Ideas so grotesque that my mother would slap me across the face if she ever found out... All these arbitrary thoughts kept flowing through me like a waterfall, demanding my uttermost attention.

I sorted and sifted through the ideas, arguing the debates in my head until I came to a rapid conclusion: _Just let it happen._

It dawned on me around six this morning. The one thing that's been constant since the first day I laid eyes on Isabella Marie Swan was... we didn't have to necessarily plan or work on our chemistry. It had been placed before us, many years before we were even conceived or thought of, I'm sure. That's how the electric current never parted, even after the years past our split... That fucking annoying little invisible force field that constantly warned us when the other person was in the room before we even saw them... It never fucking left. In fact, I think it only intensified with our separation.

So you can't necessarily fight fate, when it keeps throwing itself in your face like this.

Sure, there would be nothing I'd rather do than roll over, rip my boxers off of her heated flesh and have my way with her. And trust me, I fucking thought about it... every six minutes or so.

But that wouldn't be true to the pact that she agreed with me, that I made with myself. We needed to be friends first.

But since I couldn't just allow us to be friends any more than she could... I figured a little harmless flirting throughout the day could be acceptable, as long as we didn't allow it to become too obtuse.

Therefore, when I woke up at nine this morning, I did what any full-blooded man would do, if he woke up next to that glorious sight of her hair flowing around her face, a pillow tucked between her bare legs, her breasts smashed together and pushed up to taunt my ass while she laid on her side facing me... I took my frustrations out in the shower... Three fucking times.

Then, to be sure I could handle myself, I turned the hot water to cold, and forced myself to stand there until those thoughts vanished from my mind.

After that, I threw on a fitting, plain, black t-shirt and belt, grayed-out dark denim jeans, and black shoes. I styled my hair the way I knew Bella would love it most, and spent a few extra grooming minutes to make sure it was perfected. I didn't bother to shave this morning, figuring the stubble looked decent on me. Brushed my teeth, rinsed, put on some more of that Calvin_ Klein 'Man'_ cologne, found my favorite pair of sunglasses, and I was finished.

I couldn't hide the smile on my face when I strolled back into the Champaign room to find Bella in the exact same position as I had left her. Not wanting to chance my libido any more than I had to, I raised my right foot and tapped her leg a few times, bracing for the blow.

Bella hates to be woken up in the mornings, unless someone is holding a caffeinated drink in hand for her.

And she can be a fireball when she wants to be.

The first few times I nudged her, she didn't budge.

"Swan," I called, grinning at the use of her last name.

"Mmm," she stirred, pushing her face into the pillow.

"Swan, get up."

"_Whaattttt_?" she groaned, already getting agitated with me.

"Bella, wake up."

She sighed, rolling over onto her back and rolling her eyes, "What do you want, Rose?"

"Rose?" I snickered, taking a step back from the bed. "I'm not your fucking sister, Bella."

She opened her eyes and rose up on her elbows, blinking a few times, "Edward?"

"It is I."

"Oh, sorry. I forgot where I was for a moment," she croaked out, her voice raspy from sleep.

"That's okay. Wake up."

She flopped back down, rubbing her eyes furiously with the back of her hand, "I don't wanna."

"You have to."

"_Why_?" she hissed at me.

She was definitely in need of some strong coffee.

"Because, we're too cooped up in here. We need to get out of this fucking cabin before we lose our minds. So get up."

She slammed her hands down beside her on the mattress, continuing her morning rant, "Edward, it's too early, I have to take a shower, I need more sleep, and I'm not going to be ready in-"

"Just get up, Bella. I have a shower running for you, so go get your clothes, and don't bother fucking arguing with me because it's not going to work."

She exhaled heavily, showing her annoyance with me, "But I-"

"No fucking excuses, Bella. Get up, or I'm going to throw you over my shoulder and bathe you myself." _With my damn tongue_, I thought to myself.

I watched as she slowly pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a pink blush spreading on her lifted cheek bones.

I had to bite down to not smile with her. "Now get fucking moving."

She lifted her hand and motioned for me to go away.

"I will, as soon as you get your ass up and out of this bed."

She groaned and rolled on her other side, revealing a minimum peak of her booty as she went, from what showed beneath my boxers that were hitched up around her restless body.

I snickered, pulling my gaze away from it.

"Go away, Edward," she groaned at me.

"Get up."

"I _am_."

"No you're not. Get _up_."

I loved pissing her off. It was my second favorite thing to do with her, besides anything that involved kissing her, or caressing her, or touching her... _Stop it, Edward._

She sighed and sat up, scratching her messy hair, which looked quite sexy on her. She blinked at me a few more times, still trying to adjust her eyes. Then her cheeks went a deep flush.

I furrowed my brows at her, trying to figure out what the hell she was blushing about.

"Dammit, Edward," she shouted, bringing her hands up in the air in an agitated gesture.

"What?" I chuckled at her.

"Why do you have to look so..." her voice trailed off as she scratched her head in thought, "...good?"

I grinned at her, thankful my extra effort this morning was paying off, "Comes with the territory of being me, I guess. Are you getting up yet?"

She pouted and pulled herself on her knees, crawling at the end of the bed toward me. I felt myself twitch in my jeans at the sight of her on all fours, and held my breath and balled my fingers into fists, to keep from picking her up and slamming both her and myself back onto that mattress.

She breezed by me, and I caught the sweetest scent of lilac and baby powder as she passed. She put on lotion last night while we watched South Park, and it smelled delicious on her skin... though I still loved the strawberries and cinnamon more.

I stepped away from the bathroom, worrying that it'd be too tempting once I heard her climb into that shower naked.

"Bells, I'll be downstairs waiting, so try to hurry if you can."

"Sure."

I heard her open the shower door, and scurried out of the room as soon as possible.

I galloped down the stairs, and skidded to a stop before I entered the kitchen, to find Rosalie sitting on the island and Emmett between her legs. It looked like she was wearing nothing but a long wife-beater of Emmett's, one strap hanging off her bare shoulder. Emmett wore dark pants and no shirt. His mouth was fused to the side of her neck, while she ran her fingers through his short hair.

I titled my head as I watched him grab her hips and yank her pelvis forcefully to his, her bare ass making an actual skidding noise on the granite countertop. At first, I felt a little nauseated, considering that was normally where I liked to make my sandwiches. However, after about fifteen seconds of hearing them kissing erotically and gasping and moaning at each other's contact, I couldn't help but feel a mixture of both guilt and arousal.

They did make a pretty hot fucking couple... Even if she was a fucking witch sent up here from hell just to torment my ass and tempt me to strangle myself.

I made sure I was out of eyesight and peaked around the corner again, watching him tug on the back of that elastic piece of fabric covering her. She threw her legs around him and pushed him to her by the heels of her feet, demanding more attention.

_I didn't even know they were fucking._

Emmett forced her down against the counter, laying her on her backside as he pulled her legs up over his shoulders. Then he lifted up the tank top, kissing her stomach while she tugged on his hair and squirmed around. I noticed she was wearing about half an inch of fabric between her thighs, and was a little thankful she at least had some parts of herself covered since she was on the island.

I closed my eyes for a second and pulled away when I heard her gasp. _You shouldn't be here watching this shit._

After a few seconds, I peered back around the wall, unable to stop myself. I noticed his fingers on the side of her panties, slowly pulling them down as his mouth followed their path, resting where she wanted him the most. She moaned loudly, trapping his head between her legs with force.

_Well_, I thought to myself with a smirk. _This definitely brings a new perspective to eating in the kitchen._

At that very second, I heard feet trotting down the steps behind me. I twisted and found Alice, wearing nothing but a short robe, her hair in a messy bun on top. I grabbed her forcefully and covered her mouth, pushing her up against the wall. She tried to shove me back away from her, but I smashed her with my body.

"Shhh," I whispered to her, holding her still, "don't scream, just stay quiet."

Her chest heaved against mine as she tried to catch her breath.

"Are you gonna be quiet?"

She nodded.

I pulled my hand away, and she slapped me hard on my arm. "Edward!" she whispered at me, "What the fuck is your problem?"

"Emmett and Rose are hooking up in the kitchen, they think everyone is asleep."

Her eyes widened, "What do you mean by _hooking up_?"

I twisted my torso around and stole another peak at the most intrusive time. I snickered, jerking back toward Alice. "Well, at this moment, he's fucking her with his tongue while she is lying on the island, and he's making eye contact with her the whole time."

Alice started to speak, but then Rosalie's moans became noisier, and she covered her mouth to hold back her laughter instead.

I bit my lip, pressing my forehead to hers while we laughed harder, "Couldn't they have picked a more private place?"

She giggled, giving me a hug while I had her up against the wall. She was still cold, like normal, since her body heat doesn't do jack shit for her tiny frame. I rubbed her back vigorously, trying to warm her up.

"Wow, he's really getting her good, isn't he?" she snickered in my ear, sending involuntary goose bumps.

"Yeah, he must be really hungry."

"Edward!" she shouted, slapping me on the back of my head while we pulled away.

"What?" I chuckled, "it's the truth."

"Ew."

We laughed, and she twisted around, yanking me to her and pulling the both of us into the pool room.

She pushed me on a reclining seat and sat on the one across from me.

I grinned at her, noticing a faint hickey on the left side of her neck, "Wow. Jasper must really like to fucking give those out."

She bit her lip and scratched her head, avoiding my eyes, "Yeah... It's nice."

"I bet."

She slowly raised her eyes to mine, and then pulled away again, looking at the water in the pool instead, "So, how's things with you and Bella?"

"Cool. We're just friends though."

She snapped her head at me and crinkled her forehead, "Really?"

"Yeah," I replied with a gust of wind, "for now, we both think it's best. We need to sort through some of our issues."

"I agree. That's a good idea."

"Thanks."

"In fact, I don't think you should hook back up with her again."

"Alice," I replied sternly. "Don't start."

"I'm serious. She's bad news, Edward. She's not at all what I thought she was. She doesn't deserve you, or Jasper. Thankfully, Jasper has come to his senses, and found a _real _woman... You, however..."

I groaned, twisting my body around to face her while I brought my elbows to my knees, folding my fingers together. "Alice, you know I love you, but whatever you have going on with Bella is your business."

"No, Edward. She lied to you, she cheated on you too but blamed all of it on you, she almost put you in the hospital after you two broke up the second time, and then you guys get here and she fucking cheats on her boyfriend with you, tells you to forget about it... and then when she realizes how stupid she is, she goes running back to you because she knows you'll cave in to her. She knows how much you love her, and she's using you for the attention. You need to stay away from her."

I took a deep breath and tilted my head, leaning over to rub Alice's knee, "I love you."

She tilted her head in the opposite direction and gave me a slight smile while she reached over and took my hands, "I love you too, Edward. I want what's best for you."

"I know you do," I frowned at her, "...but I really think that Bella and I need to work through some of our bullshit. That's why we're not rushing it."

"Edward, she's just going to hurt you again."

I swallowed, glancing up at her big eyes, "I don't think she will, Alice."

"Then she's got you blinded."

I sighed, gripping her hands between mine, "I really want you to support me."

She took a long glance at me, not replying.

"It'd mean a lot to me. I understand you have your reasons for not trusting her, because I am your best friend and you've seen me at the very bottom of this shit. But... for me, can you please just... state your opinions to just me for now. Don't start a fight with Bella, because we have enough people riding our asses as it is. You and I can talk, and you can tell me your feelings, no problem. But Bella will take offense to them, and she'll push away from me, and that's _not _what I want. So... can you just please... _please _give me a little while to sort this stuff out?"

Alice licked her lips and shook her head, "Fine Edward. Because it's _you_, and I love _you_. But so help me God... If she fucking hurts you, makes you cry, makes you sad or depressed or angry or violent or anything else that I would not approve of, I will rip her a new asshole. Do we have an agreement?"

I nodded to her.

"Fine."

"Okay," I replied, giving her a smile. "So... tell me how you got that hickey?"

She grinned at me, "Well... we hid out in Renee and Phil's bedroom, and we knew we couldn't do any more than kissing... so that's what we did. All night long."

"Mmm," I nodded, pursing my lips at her, "just kissing?"

"Yes."

"What a pussy."

"Edward!" she slapped my knee, giggling at me, "Don't be rude!"

"What? All I am saying is, if I was him and I had you in a hidden bedroom for twenty four hours, I'm sorry, but I'd be doing a hell of a lot more than kissing."

She shook her head, peering down at her blue painted toenails. "Yeah, well... Jasper's not you."

"Luckily for you," I teased her, pushing her back.

She nodded, before slowly pulling her eyes to mine, "Besides... you had your chance."

_Ouch_. I took a deep breath, noticing the tension in the room between us, "But you picked the better man."

"Yes."

"See? All things happen for a reason."

"True," she replied, before grinning up at me, and I noticed the tension quickly flew away as soon as it came. "I really like him, Edward."

"I'm sure Bella won't be as thrilled as you are for picking up her seconds."

"Please," she scoffed at me, "Bella probably would hug me if we weren't in the middle of this fight. She'd probably thank me and buy me flowers, since I took him off her hands for her."

"Gosh, you can be really harsh in the mornings."

"Nope, I just speak it how it is. So are you two fucking again yet?"

"No, I told you, we're just friends."

"She wants you bad, Edward. Now... I don't know where she'll dispose of you once she uses you all up and doesn't want you anymore... but for now, she's wanting that chase. So don't give it to her."

I smirked, shaking my head at her, "You and Bella really need to work out this bullshit."

"I will, as soon as she admits she just wants you because she couldn't have you all those years."

I leaned back, stretching my body out and holding my hands in the air. Then I slapped them down on my legs and stood up, "Well, I've got to go. Thanks for the morning chat, Allie-cat."

She hopped up, "Wait! Where are you going?"

I twisted around, noticing she was running up behind me, "I'm taking Bella out for breakfast."

She slouched down, looking more frustrated with me, "Edward... Please think about what I'm telling you. I don't want to see you hurt again."

I pulled her against me, giving her my strongest bear hug, "I love you. I'll see you later."

Then before she could respond, I twisted around and left the room.

I didn't need any negativity in my mind today.

I was taking Bella out, and we were going to have a fucking good day.

Whether anyone else liked it or not.

_This wasn't about them._

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I bit my lip while I blow dried my hair, inspecting my sixteenth outfit choice in the mirror with great demise.

I decided on a long, grey, button down sweater that had pockets in the front, fitted _DKNY _jeans, and long brown boots.

I wanted to look perfect. For Edward. But it had to be perfect without looking like I was trying too hard.

I sighed, switching the blow dryer to my other hand.

I needed coffee. I was getting irritated with myself.

There was a slight knock on the bedroom door, and I flicked the switch on the blow dryer, "Yes?"

"Are you about done?"

I shivered. The slightest sound of Edward's voice was enough to unravel me. "Yes, give me about ten more minutes."

"Okay, no problem. I'll go start my car."

"'K."

I took a deep breath, staring at my reflection. You better be good to him, Bella.

Then I flipped my head over, continuing to dry and maximize my volume.

Then another knock hit the door, and I flicked off the switch, "I said just ten minutes."

"Hey!"

"Oh hey Colleen, come in."

I stayed bending over, continuing to dry my hair, and noticed Bebe shoes scooting passed me. My best friend hopped on the sink, rubbing my back. "I've missed you. I haven't seen you in a day or so."

"Well, that's because you were fornicating with Makin." I joked with her.

"I know..." she exhaled, "he's seriously the best. Speaking of, thanks for not bitching about your bed. The covers are washed and the mattress is flipped over."

"Thanks Colleen. You know it's not a big deal to me, as long as it's cleaned afterward. It's not like ya'll had your own bedroom and deliberately used mine to piss me off." I flipped my head over, feeling the blood rushing through my head and neck.

Then I caught my reflection, and felt a temper tantrum coming on. I threw the poor, defenseless dryer down on the sink. "It's _useless_."

"What's useless?"

I glared at her, really needing the caffeine. "Me. Looking good for Edward. I have about ten minutes and _nothing _is working right for me."

She giggled, pulling me between her legs, "Come here. Let me do it, you just work on your makeup."

I exhaled, giving her a hug while she picked up the dryer. "You're the best."

She shrugged, grinning at me while she worked on my hair. "It's the least I could do. So what's the urgency?"

"Edward's taking me out."

She squealed, forcing a smile to rise on my face to match hers, "Really?!"

"Yes. And I'm a nervous wreck. I _know _it's probably just breakfast, but just the _idea _of being with him... in his _car_, and going out on the town with him... Oh my gosh, I'm getting butterflies just thinking about it."

"Aww, Bella..." she cooed at me.

"Yes, and you should see how _good _he looks. He's wearing this black fitted shirt and these grey denim jeans, and his hair is styled perfectly, and he has these sunglasses... Oh my God..."

I lifted my hand between us, showing her how I was trembling like crazy, "Do you _see _what he does to me?"

She giggled, turning the blow-dryer off and brushing through my hair, "You're too adorable for your own good, Bella. I'm sure he's just as nervous as you are."

"No, I don't think so. Edward doesn't get nervous. He's too cocky and self-assured... But damn it, if he doesn't look good doing it."

"Nah, he's giddy too. Remember, he's a dude and may not show it as easily as you do, but he wants you just as bad. Just think, all the internal thoughts you are having... he's probably had as well."

"Colleen, you don't know how hard it was just to sleep next to him last night. All I wanted to do was roll over and just... demand that he take me over."

She giggled, starting to curl my hair with the big iron, "I'm sure he wouldn't have minded if you had."

I growled, shaking my arms with my nervousness, "I can't do my makeup, I'm going to poke my eye out. Can you do it for me?"

"Sure, just give me a second to do this hair of yours."

"Okay," I exhaled, trying to relax my nerves. "It's just like we're in high school again, you know? It's like, Edward's back to being that popular guy that is asking me out, once again, and all the while I'm getting ready, _knowing _I'm not good enough for him and _knowing _I'm never going to be... But I still get ready while I try to figure out why in the hell he wants to be with me? Why _me_?! Argh, I just wish he'd let me know what it is about _me_..."

"Maybe because he sees you clearer than you see yourself."

I tilted my head at her, feeling my heart rushing through my chest, "I'm not good for him, Colleen. He's going to realize it before we even get back together, and he's gonna run away from me."

"Bella! Come on! You are good enough for him. Why on earth do you think he'd be doing this if you weren't?"

"Because he's stupid."

"He's _not _stupid, Bella, and neither are you. Think about it, seriously. If he didn't care about you -- like _really _care -- then he would have just banged you repeatedly, since he's had the chance, and the both of you know it. But no, he's _not_. He's holding off on it now. He's _waiting_. He's willing to deal with your problems. Do you _honestly _think that _any _man would put _this _much effort into it if he _didn't _care?"

I sighed, looking down to her lap, "I guess not."

"Then you've guessed right."

I pursed my lips, glancing back at her. "Thanks, I feel better."

"Good. Now if we can get you to stop shaking like a leaf, I might not permanently burn your forehead with this curling iron."

I giggled, and then tried to regain my composure, "So tell me, how did you and Makin finally... you know?"

"He pulled me in the bedroom around four o'clock on New Year's, slammed me up against your bedroom wall with the weight of his body, and asked me if I wanted it."

I giggled, feeling my cheeks turn a little pink, "And you just said yes?"

"No."

"Really?"

"I said, _HELL YES_!"

I burst out laughing, pushing her back, "You're terrible! So he was good, I take it?"

"Oh my _God_, Bella. You have no idea. I didn't even know he was capable of performing such incredible positions or tricks. He had me all over the place."

"Remember, it is my bedroom."

"Sorry!" she giggled, biting her lip as she set the curling iron down. "My bad. Flip your head back over."

I did as she asked, shaking my hair around, "Did he last long?"

"Like a marathon runner."

I chuckled, grinning wide, "I'm so happy for the two of you."

"So am I. I really, _really _like him... In fact, I think it's _more _than like now, you know?"

"Do you think he feels the same way?"

"Flip."

I flipped my hair back over, and she began to run her fingers through it.

"I'm not sure, but I hope he does."

"Well... he'd be crazy not to, Colls."

"Thanks Bells."

I stole a glance at my hair, feeling overwhelmed. It was full of volume, with large, loose curls framing around my face perfectly, "Wow Colleen! Thank you so much! Can I keep you?"

She giggled, "Sure! Now come here, let's get some smoky liner on you. Edward won't be able to walk with the hard on you're about to give him."

I snickered, complying to her commands again. "Speaking of _liking _someone, Colleen... I'm really liking Edward again."

"You love him, silly. Close your eyes."

"I know I do... but I like, also... _like _him. Does that make sense? Like, I feel all giddy whenever he enters a room... and I want to run in the bathroom in the middle of the night just to fix my makeup before he wakes up... And I want to run the water when I'm peeing so he doesn't hear me... And my blood rushes to my head any time he touches me... I _like _him, too."

She sighed, "You two are meant to be. I mean, sure I loved Jasper, and have known him forever... But I knew it'd never be _right _with the two of you. I knew your heart was taken."

"I know," I took a shaky breath, "it was best this way. You can't give the same heart away twice to two different people."

"Exactly."

I nodded, and we sat in silence while she fixed my makeup. She put bronzer on my cheeks, dark mascara, but left my eyes simple, with just liner and bronzed shimmer shadows. No lipstick, just pale gloss. I looked like I was a supermodel. I felt my confidence rising as she sprayed my hair. "You're seriously the best friend a girl could ask for, do you know that?"

She curled her lip out, spraying me with mist, all over my outfit and hair, "I know."

I giggled, and gave her a hug. "Okay, how do I look?"

"Like sex on fire."

"Good," I winked at her, taking another breath. "I guess it's time to go then."

"Good luck babydoll. Sneak away and text me in the bathroom periodically. Keep me updated."

I snickered, walking out the room, "I will."

"Love you!"

"Love you more!" I felt like my legs turned into glue with each step I took down the stairs. I felt confident with my looks now, thanks to perfect-timing-BFF's, but my insides were all jumbled up inside. I felt like I was about to go on a first date, all over again.

With a Greek-God.

I closed my eyes, strolling into the living room, to find Edward sitting on the couch, by himself. He turned to me and grinned as he rose to his feet, "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I replied with a blush, as I forced my hand to not fidget with my newly fixed hair. "Are you ready?"

"Yep. Car's warmed up and waiting on us in the garage."

"Okay."

He motioned for me to walk ahead of him, and as I passed, I caught a scent of his luscious cologne. I felt myself growing dizzy with happiness, almost walking head first into the garage door. He snickered, opening it for me. We headed out to his Carerra, and he opened that door for me too.

I smiled, climbing in the passenger seat, "Thanks. I still miss the Volvo."

"You're welcome, and it's almost fixed," he replied as he closed the door.

I watched as he jogged around and entered on the driver's side, pulling down his sunglasses. _God, he looked so sexy._

"Thanks for doing this, Edward. For taking me out."

He turned and grinned at me, pushing the button to open the garage door, "We haven't even left yet."

"I know, but... I think it's going to be a fun day."

"Well, I hope so. It _is _raining, so the roads are going to be slushy from the snow and ice and shitty winter mixture out there."

I watched his lips as he spoke, feeling my heart pound erratically.

"I don't care," I exhaled finally, once I realized I lost my breath.

He nodded and reversed the car.

As soon as we left the safety of the garage, I felt my hands and legs begin to tremble again. _Relax Bella. Just relax, stay calm... Try not to think about going out with him right now... Try not to focus on the fact that he's glorious and perfect and sexy and handsome and cocky but still so sweet to you, even when you don't deserve it... _

I closed my eyes, trying to control myself.

"Are you alright?" he asked as we pulled out onto the main drag.

"Yes."

He nodded, and I watched his tongue scrape seductively on his bottom lip.

I tried to focus on the road and the traffic building up as we entered town, but all I could do was smell how delicious he was, and feel the current bouncing between our arms in this tiny car. I brought my right hand up, chewing on my thumbnail nervously. "Can we listen to some music?"

"Sure," he replied.

Before we could think, we both leaned forward and touched the power button at the same time. Our heads snapped toward each other, and I lost my breath while he smirked at me. We slowly pulled our hands back, and I gripped my knee for leverage. I was turning into wired mush by the second. This wasn't good for my blood pressure.

Edward leaned over me, opening the glove box and pulling out a remote to his stereo, "What are you in the mood for?"

_You._ "Um, I don't care."

"Do you like _Kings of Leon_?"

"Yes."

He nodded, flipping the mp3 player over to that CD. "I like them too." Then he flicked on his windshield wipers, trying to push away some of the sleet mixture coming down from the grey clouds hovering over us.

"So, where are we going?"

"First, we're going to _Starbucks_, so you don't chew my head off later. I figured we could talk a bit in there. After, I'm not really sure... Just as long as we hang out, right?"

"R-Right," I exhaled, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans. _Relax, relax, relax, relax... _

He pulled onto the on-ramp, heading toward the interstate as he kicked the car into fourth and then fifth gear. I couldn't help but feel turned on by the way he handled his car, especially in this type of weather. And with those sunglasses, and the way the dim light of the sun peaked from the clouds every once in a while, cascading different shades of bronzed and copper on the tips of his spiked hair... I realized I was staring at him, and snapped my head away quickly.

Then I glanced over to his hand, resting gently on the ball of the gear shift. I licked my lips, taking notice of each light freckle on his arm, each tiny hair... each beautiful texture...

I realized that all the years when we were together before, I never truly appreciated him. The _physical _side of him... I was too young, I didn't understand it then... But as I stared at his smooth thumb, caressing the side of the gear shift lightly, I realized just how much my body truly _ached _for him. For every single centimeter of him... I wanted him all to myself.

_'Sex _on_ Fire' _by _Kings _of_ Leon_ came on, and I shivered as the beat cascaded through his leather interior. I took a peaked glance over at his face, and noticed him gently bobbing his head, his mouth moving to the words although he wasn't singing out loud. I bit my lip, continuing to watch his lips move as his car weaved through the slow cars with ease.

For all that I was concerned with right now, he could wreck this damn car and I wouldn't mind one bit, just as long as I was with him and he continued to move that full bottom lip the way he was...

After a few minutes of him lip-syncing that song seductively -- although I'm sure he didn't know it -- we pulled off the interstate and he floored it down the highway. He threw his arm over my seat, sending me chills as he glanced behind him. Then he whipped the car to the far right lane, pulling his arm away as he turned into the parking lot.

Before I could get a hold of myself, he was out of the car, running through the sleet to my side, and had it opened. I put my trembling hand in his, and gave him a grateful smile for opening the door. He released my hand and walked beside me, opening the door to the restaurant as well. I gave him another smile, feeling intoxicated by both the scent of him and my second heaven on earth. I love Starbucks.

He walked me to the counter, and I stared at the delicious sweets to our left, admiring each one of them.

"May I help you?"

I glanced over at the cashier and smiled, not trusting my voice. I glanced over at Edward, and he pulled the sunglasses from his eyes, placing them in his delicate hair. "She'll have the Iced Mocha Caramel Frappaccino with Whipped Cream, and I'll have the..." his tongue bounced on his bottom lip as he quickly scanned the menu, "...um... Java Chip Frappaccino."

She nodded, punching in buttons. He glanced over at me, and lifted his right arm, rubbing my back soothingly. "You want to get a bite here for now, and we'll go have lunch later?"

I nodded, smiling at him like the dork that I was. God, it _irked _me the way he was making me so speechless.

He lowered his hand from my back, turning back to the counter, "If it's not too much trouble, we'll also have a few of those blueberry and apple bran muffins, please."

"No problem at all," the pretty cashier responded, and I caught her glancing over at him in awe. _Don't worry hun, I'm right there with you._

Edward argued with me and won, paying for the tab. We weaved through the crowd, and he led me to a comfortable booth, fit with black leather couches in the corner. I exhaled, watching him sit across from me.

"This is nice," I finally spoke up, and cringed internally at the sound of the shakiness in my voice.

"It is," he replied with a crooked smile. "Plus, I figured we should be out in public when we talk."

"Talk?"

"Yeah... That way we cannot argue."

I frowned, looking toward the coffee table separating us, "So you thought we were going to fight?"

"No," he chuckled, leaning back against the couch, "I just wanted to be prepared, is all."

"Oh."

I couldn't stop frowning, working myself up with worry all over again. "Well, I don't want to fight with you."

"I don't want to fight with you either, sweetheart."

I looked up at him, and his gorgeous green eyes blasted into my soul, causing my lips to part but no words to come out.

The woman brought out our drinks and muffins, and Edward gave her a tip and a smile of thanks, before turning his attention back to me, "So... do you want to talk?"

I nodded, sipping my drink.

"Do you want me to start?" he asked as he took a drink of his.

I nodded again.

"Okay... Well, tell me about your schooling and your career. How's that going for you?"

I exhaled, happy that he was starting easy at first. "Well, I just graduated with honors, and finished my internship a few weeks ago. I now _officially _work for that same company, _Leverage Marketing_, in Seattle. It's a Google Certified internet marketing company that specializes in pay-per-click management, SEO and affiliate marketing. We achieve top results by converting more of anonymous web traffic into sales and leads."

"Wow," he said with a grin, taking another sip, "You sound dedicated."

"I love it. I love Google, it's my answer to everything...-"

"Just Google it," we replied at the same time, laughing out loud.

"Exactly," I said, taking a bite of the blueberry muffin.

"I knew you'd go into advertising, I had a feeling that you'd follow that passion."

"I really _do _love it."

"I can tell. It's all over your smile."

I glanced at him, and watched his own smile become warm as we stared at each other.

_Gosh, he was so pretty._

I cleared my throat, picking my drink back up, "And you? Surgery?"

He shook his head, leaning his elbows on his knees while he came closer to me across the table, "Not a hundred percent, no. I decided to go with deliveries instead. I'm going to be an OB/GYN."

"Really?" I asked, arching my back to sit up straight. "Edward, that's _great_, I'm proud of you. I remember you used to be so afraid that Carlisle would be upset if you didn't go into cardiothoracic surgery, like him."

"Yeah," he snickered, shaking his head, "he was relatively surprised, and extremely supportive of my decision. I guess I was just afraid to tell my father about the gynecology part of the job, afraid that he'd... I don't know, look down at me for it, because of what the job entails."

"Edward, you may be a cocky, arrogant, pompous ass at times, but when it comes to your job, you have nothing but high respect for women. Carlisle knows that."

He grinned at me, taking another drink. "Yeah, I know. But at the time, I was worried... I should have realized that once he put my family's history and my career choice together, he'd be nothing but supportive."

"So... how's Esme doing?" I asked, fidgeting with the stitching on the end of my right sleeve.

Edward cleared his throat, sitting his cup down, "She's much better now. She's... happier. Stronger."

"That's good," I replied, giving him a delicate smile. "I cannot imagine going through that."

"Yeah... I sometimes wonder what it'd be like, you know, if _she _had made it."

"Catherine?"

"Yeah..." he looked down at the coffee table. "...Catherine Angel Cullen."

I climbed to my feet and walked around, sitting beside him and rubbing his back.

Carlisle and Esme became pregnant with Edward when Esme had only been fifteen years old. They married a year later, despite their family's wishes and arguments to take custody of Edward. Later, Esme dropped out of school to take care of their son, while Carlisle finished. They did everything themselves. Purchased their own house, their own car...

Carlisle kept his grades up, ended up graduating with honors, and achieved a full ride to the school of his choice. With his hard work and dedication, combined with Esme's strong support for her husband, Carlisle easily became Seattle's best and in-demand surgeon. Once Carlisle graduated, Esme went back to school, achieved her GED, and eventually started her own interior design company, called _Diamond Interiors_. She too, was in high demand.

And now, they were more than well off with their finances, to say the least.

Last year, on Carlisle's thirty-sixth birthday, Esme gave him the news that she was officially pregnant with their second child. The pregnancy was hard on her, and she ended up being placed on bed rest for five out of the nine months of her term.

They chose to name the little girl Catherine Angel, with the first name dedicated to Esme's best friend, and the middle name being chosen through all the complications... Long story short, Catherine Angel died as soon as she was delivered from Esme's body. Stillborn. Of course, Esme was distraught and convinced herself that it was the doctor's fault. She demanded an autopsy, and they explained to her that Catherine passed from sudden antenatal death syndrome. Esme was devastated.

Edward turned to me, and patted my leg, "I'm fine, really. It just... it took some time, for all of us, to adjust to the fact."

"I can imagine," I replied gently, suddenly feeling the urge to kiss him and comfort him that way. "Did she... Was she finally able to take down the nursery?"

He shook his head, "No. Dad and I had to do it. He turned it into his music room, with all his antique guitars and war guns, all of the collectibles and whatnot... But mom won't go in there."

I frowned, rubbing his back while we sipped our drinks. "I really am sorry for both yours and your family's loss."

He nodded back at me with a tight smile, and I could tell by his expression that he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

So I changed the subject. "H-How's everything else going?"

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I snickered, shaking my head, "It's fine. How's things going with you?"

I watched as she walked back to her seat, picking up her blueberry muffin again, "Fine."

"Good."

"Yes." she nodded, nervously.

I finished my coffee and leaned back, admiring how beautiful she looked when pieces of the sunlight peaked out of the murky clouds, shining into the windows and onto her hair. She looked _incredible_.

"Do-do you, eventually, want kids?" she asked, fidgeting with her sleeves again.

"Of course. I love babies."

She tilted her head at me, giving me an awe expression. _Great, just turn her into mush, Edward. Who are you going to kiss then?_

I smirked at her, "and yourself?"

"Ugh, I don't know. I can barely take care of myself most days. The last thing I want is for my child to grow up hating me because they realized I'm dumber than they are."

I laughed, unable to hold it back, "Bella, you are far from dumb, and you know it. You'll make a great mother someday."

She set her drink back down and bit her bottom lip, "You think so?"

"Yes. I do."

"...Thanks Edward."

I gave her a nod. She made me so comfortable... It was nice to be able to get away like this.

"W-what about marriage?" she asked after a few moments of silence.

My heart stilled and I couldn't help but tease her. "What about it?"

"Is it, um, something you're interested in?"

I grinned at her, unable to fight back my arrogance, "Isabella Marie, are you asking me to marry you?"

I enjoyed watching her have fifteen colors of blush painting her cheeks simultaneously while she squirmed on the leather couch in the middle of the restaurant.

Snickering, I adjusted in my seat as I watched her continue to fidget.

She had no idea what to say.

I let out another chuckle, deciding it was time to let her relax, "Yes. I'd love to be married one day."

Her eyes bounced to mine, and I watched her body drop with ease as she exhaled.

"You?"

She swallowed hard, nodding fast, "Yeah, I think I'd like that... if someone was willing to put up with me for that long."

I sighed, shaking my head as I continued to smile, "I'm sure you have nothing to worry about in that department, Bella. You could walk on the street right now with a sign over your head, requesting for any random stranger to marry you, and would end up with a flock of guys at your feet in an instant."

"Yeah, but that's because they don't know anything about me."

"No, that's because most guys would willingly have their left testicle removed for a chance to be with you."

"Yeah right."

"Me being one of them." I bit my tongue as she glanced over at me, her lips parting as she fumbled for her words. I didn't know what to say, I hadn't planned on telling her that part... or the fact that I once shopped for a ring for her... and ignored Emmett's barking at me while I picked it out. Stating that we were too young, and would end up in a trailer park in Timbuktu.

_My, how things change._

I ran my fingers through my hair, knocking my sunglasses off my head and onto the couch.

Picking them up, I rose to my feet, taking a deep breath, "You ready?"

She nodded, unsteadily rising to her feet. She leaned over to pick up her stuff, but her hands were trembling, and she ended up knocking her frozen coffee over on the coffee table, spilling it everywhere.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" she squealed, running around the coffee table and almost slipping on the mess.

"It's okay hun, I'll take care of it, just stay put." I ordered her another drink and got a wet cloth from them, and cleaned up her mess while she chewed off half her fingernails.

"I'm such a mess," she muttered under her breath. "Stupid Bella."

I finished cleaning the table and handed the cashier both the towel and an extra tip, in exchange for Bella's new drink.

"Don't worry about it," I said as I rubbed her back and handed her the drink. "It's no biggie. Shake it off."

She nodded, biting her lip as I led her out the restaurant.

Once we climbed into my car and I pulled onto the highway again, she seemed to relax. Just to make sure, I patted her knee a few times, and once that damn current swept through us from our contact, we both shivered. She reached up and turned on the heater, and I began to flip through the CD again.

"Where are we going now?" she asked, running her hands through her wavy hair.

"Where would you like to go?"

"I don't care, as long as I'm wit-" she cut herself off, turning out to the window.

I looked at her once I pulled to the red light. "Finish..."

She sighed, "...as long as I'm with you."

I beamed at the back of her head, willing for her to turn and face me. Hesitantly, she did. And her face was red.

I grinned at her, making her blush more sustained.

"Shut up!" she shouted, hitting my arm playfully. "Turn away and stop making fun of me."

I snickered and put my car back into first, taking off through the icy slosh. "Hey, I have an idea."

"What's that," she replied, unable to wipe that damn sexy smile off her face.

"Wanna go bowling?"

Bella looked at me, biting her lip, "Last time we went bowling... Well, anytime you went bowling with me, you always kicked my ass, Mr. Curve ball, three-hundred pointer."

"So... I'll take that as a no, then?"

She shook her head, "No, I want to. I just... you better be easy on me."

"I can't make any guarantees Bella. Am I _ever _easy on you?"

"Sometimes...."

"With sex, not with bowling."

Again, she blushed, "Just shut up."

I laughed but complied, staying quiet as we bobbed our heads to the music on the CD. I reached in my visor, pulling out my camels and taking a cigarette out. I could tell by the corner of my eye that she was watching me light it and inhale. I cracked my window and turned to her, giving her my best smile. "Want one?"

She shook her head, snapping her face from me.

I licked my lips, leaning toward her over the console since we were at another red light.

I got up to her ear, and noticed she was shivering. "Are you sure?" I whispered.

She closed her eyes, nodding again. I tiled my head to my left, not pulling my face back.

We were an inch apart now, and I could feel the heat from our bodies bouncing off our faces as quickly as my heart was beating.

She turned to me, making that separation a mere centimeter.

And I thought about kissing her.

_Seductively_.

"Edward," she whispered, her chest heaving through her shallow breaths. "The l-light's green now."

I nodded, rubbing my nose along hers slowly, ignoring the honks behind me, and the people rolling down their windows to shout at how I was a rich motherfucker who needed to learn how to drive.

Bella's lashes fluttered open and close quickly, but she didn't pull away from me. "G-green means go."

"Does it?" I whispered, tilting my head as my mouth watered to the thought of tasting her.

She nodded, her body tensing around me.

"Mmm," I hummed, lifting my mouth to hers. Right as my lips touched hers, she jerked away, smacking the back of her head on the glass window.

"Ouch!" she shouted, rubbing it as she pouted.

I chuckled and made sure she was okay, before reluctantly putting my car back into drive. I quickly sped up, and caught the fifty year old lady in the cougar who shouted those obscenities to me. As I wheezed past her, I grinned and flipped her off, making sure to give her eye contact the entire time. She honked her horn at me but I continued driving, my car blasting down the road quicker than her car could recognize when she'd hit her gas pedal. She had no chance.

Once I pulled into the parking lot, I turned to Bella again, reaching over to rub the back of her head, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, moving my hand from her hair, "Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry about that lock up earlier," I replied, "I just... got carried away in the moment, I suppose."

"It happens," she exhaled, climbing out of my car quickly, before I got a chance to get out. She seemed to hurry her pace as she headed toward the doors, not bothering to wait on me. So, either she was pissed that I almost kissed her, was trying to avoid my having the chance to do it again, ... or she just wanted it but didn't know how to act because we were supposed to be _friends_.

I turned my car alarm on, strolling casually up to the door with my hands in my pocket.

"I was waiting on you to come around and open _my _door for _me_," I teased her.

She grinned, exhaling heavily, "I'm sorry. I'll remember that next time."

"Please do," I replied, opening the door to the bowling alley for her.

Once our shoes had been ordered, our balls had been picked out, and our lane had been assigned, we sat silently and got ourselves ready for some serious bowling. Bella, of course, had a sparkly blue eight pounder, while I chose the clear, September eleventh logo'd, sixteen pounder.

"Do you mind if I take a few practice throws?" she asked, rising to her feet and picking up her ball.

"Be my guest," I replied, leaning back and watching her. Once she strolled to the line, she threw the ball high and it landed with a thunk, before slowly trailing down the middle. She knocked six pins over. Then she turned to me, chewing on her thumbnail again, "I'm not very good at this."

"You're doing fine, sweetheart."

She shook her head, waiting for her ball to come back up. "Not really."

I watched as she made her next attempt, the ball landing in the gutter. She stomped her foot and came back over, flopping down on her seat. I snickered, sliding my butt across the plastic seats, toward her. "Would you like me to show you how?"

"Sure, go show off your techniques and prove to me how much of a fool I am."

"Bella, I meant, show _you _how, not how _I _do it."

"Oh... Y-Yeah, um, sure, t-that'd be fine, I guess."

I nodded, pulling her off the seats and toward the balls. I picked hers up, and led her toward the dotted lines. "Stand in front of me."

"Here?"

"Yes."

"But... aren't we supposed to stand in the middle of the dotted lines?"

"Some do, but..." my voice trailed off as I handed her the ball and gripped her lips, pulling her in front of me. "...these dots are more than just a foul line. They're a guide. You don't _have _to stand in the middle. Because you're a woman, your breasts curve a certain way to your arms, forcing you to lean more to your right or left... So it's best if a woman stands on either the right side or the left side of the dots."

"Oh."

I leaned around to see the side of her face, and noticed she was breathing awfully heavy. "Are you nervous?"

She shook her head, "No, but my hands are sweaty and I can't keep my fingers in the holes very good."

"Why not? Are the holes too big?"

"No, it's just because you're touching me."

We both froze, and she turned to face me. I analyzed our positions, realizing her ass was indeed pressed right against my pelvic region. I smiled at her, rubbing the small of her back with my thumbs, "Would you like me to step back a bit?"

She shook her head, swallowing hard. "No, please don't."

I stared at her, analyzing our current situation while I tried to ban my derogatory thoughts away again. _Cold shower, cold shower, cold shower._

I cleared my throat, focusing back at the task on hand. "Okay, so... What you want to do is... Put the ball in your right hand, because you're a righty. Keep your wrist straight, don't bend it, okay?"

She nodded.

"And then... start with your right foot, that way you end with your left foot at the foul line."

She nodded again, briefly closing her eyes to keep herself collected.

"You're going to take approximately four steps, and the fifth will be your right leg, merely tucking behind your left while you lean over. So..." I gripped her hips against mine, bending my right knee to force hers to move, "... walk with me... We're going to go right... left... then two quicker steps... right, left... then curl your right leg and release, but don't really release it yet. Let's go back."

She allowed me to pull her back to the middle line, and she held the ball up in front of her.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's walk... right... left... right, left, and tuck." She did as I described, releasing the ball. She watched as the ball, which started in the right corner, slowly trailed directly into the middle of the pins. She knocked down all but one of them.

She jumped up and down, clapping her hands, "I did it!" Then she launched herself in my arms, giving me a hug.

"You did wonderful!" I replied, laughing as I rubbed her back. "Would you like me to show you how to knock that corner pin out too?"

"Yes, please." Her smile lit up her entire face. She was excited.

"Okay," I replied, walking back and grabbed her ball once the machine spit it out. "If you're standing on the right corner, which you will, because that's how your body angles with the pins... You want to aim at those dotted lines in the center of the alley... Do you see that dotted line there in the middle of the waxed lane?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so create an imaginary line, from this dot here at your feet... to the pin there on the left corner... and then aim for the dot there in the middle, that is even with your imaginary line. Do you see it?"

"Yes."

"Okay." I let go of her hips, taking a few steps back. "It's all yours, love."

She took a few steps back, and then did the walk as I taught her, and released her ball. It was slower than her last one, but when it knocked over her pin, I thought she was going to break the floor from jumping so hard.

Again, she rushed over to me, throwing herself in my arms and kissing my cheek. "You're the best, Edward!"

I grinned, pulling her back to the seats, "Do you think you're ready to start a real game then?"

"Yes, let's do it!"

I chuckled, and pressed start.

We ended up playing six games, back to back. Each time, her score increased.

While we played, she'd do little curtsy ballerina spins when she'd knock down the pin she wanted, or stomp her feet when she missed. She'd smack my ass when I passed by her, or wink at me when I missed.

We'd punch hands when we'd get strikes, and gave thumbs down when we hit the gutter. She even tried to do a granny throw, which turned out horribly, when her ball went into the lane that wasn't even turned on. To make up for her embarrassment, I allowed her to spin me around in a circle repeatedly, and then tried to throw my ball, and it flew too high in the air and almost knocked out one of the tiles on the ceilings.

And our flirtatious behavior was constant... between winks, high fives, shy grins, pushing each other playfully, and teasing each other... We had a blast.

Around two in the evening, our arms were worn out and we decided it was time for our next activity.

Bella suggested the mall, and since the next choice was left up to her, that's where we headed.

We walked side by side, the backs of our hands brushing together every once in awhile. We joked around in all the stores, holding up obscene outfits and making fun of random strangers, like we were teenagers again.

Then she forced me to let her put on some sort of lip gloss on me. I allowed it for about fifteen minutes, and considered making her lick it off of me with her succulent tongue, but felt the temptation of that sensation would be too strong for me to resist, and I'd bring a whole new definition to PDA if she did.

So instead, I wiped it off with a napkin and declared she never do it again.

Arguing aside, I purchased a Bebe cream-silked double-breasted extended jacket that she wanted but didn't have the money for. It was two hundred and fifty dollars. After that, I matched her up with a pair of Bebe faded sunglasses with the embrosions and logo on the ear pieces, which were a hundred and seventy-five dollars, and completed the ensemble with a pair of Steve Madden heels, which were cream, with a brown belted accent on the peep toe. Those cost a mere hundred.

She kept trying to tell me no, but of course, I was having none of that.

When Bella wants something, her whole face lights up like a Christmas tree. What kind of man would I be if I didn't get it for her?

When we were in DKNY, she kept complimenting a watch I tried on. Stating how great it looked against my tan, how it complimented my features. It was three hundred dollars. It had smooth, black leather straps, a rectangle face with no numbers, displaying a diamond in the 6th hour that position, and DKNY logo at the twelfth hour position.

"It's so _sexy_," she stated, as she leaned her face into my right shoulder, admiring it on my wrist.

"Yeah?" I asked, as we continued to examine it. I was always a little off when it came to buying myself presents. I'd rather just spend all my money on her.

"Yes. You should totally get it one day."

"One day like... now?"

She looked up at me, batting her dark lashes as she kept her chin rested on my shoulder, "Do you have the money for that, after all you purchased for me?"

I exhaled and gave her a nod.

"If you don't, we can just take these items you got for me back, that way you can get it."

I shook my head, "No, it's fine. I have the money."

"Then you should get it. You deserve it, Edward. It's sexy, but not too flashy. It _fits _you."

I pursed my lips, taking a final glance at it. "Okay," I whispered slowly, "if you think it fits me, then I'll get it."

She nodded, rubbing my back with her left hand before pulling her chin off my shoulder.

Immediately, I wanted it back there. "Well, what about you?"

"Huh?"

"You should get one too."

"Edward, I _cannot _afford anything on this side of the store. I have a car payment, house payment, a m-"

"I'm buying it for you."

"No!"

"Yes," I replied, turning to face her as we both leaned our sides on the glass. "Besides, Christmas was right around the corner. Consider it a belated present."

"No!" she shouted again, shaking her head fervently. "I cannot let you do that."

"Bella, you don't have a choice. I already know the one you want."

"What?" she asked, her mouth dropping open.

I snickered and grabbed her hips, pushing my pelvis against her and forcing her to walk backward along the glass. I twisted her around, and pointed to the slim crystal bangle watch, sitting higher above the rest of them. It was slim, vintage, and silver, with diamonds cascading on both sides of the band. The face of the watch was rectangle and slim, and had a matching DKNY logo and diamond on the sixth hour.

"Look," I whispered, pointing it out to her. "It's fate. You have no choice now, you have to get it."

"But Edward, I can't, it's too much, you shouldn't be buying things for me like this, it's really too much. It's like, almost three hundred dollars or something."

I rose to my feet, turning her to face me while I kept my hands on her shoulders. "Bella. You're worth it. Just admit that you want it."

She glared at me, shaking her head. "You can't get that for me, Edward. I've never had anything like it. What if I were to lose it, or smash it somehow, or-or... I-I somehow chop it off if I stuck my hand in the garbage disposal?"

"Bella, stop being stubborn. I'm getting it for you."

"Edward," she growled at me.

"Ooh, I love it when you speak my name like that," I teased, nudging her with my arm.

Once our items were rang up and purchased, I carried the bags in my left hand, while I wrapped my right arm over her shoulders. She didn't seem to mind, leaning into me a bit while she wound her left arm around my waist. I grinned as we walked, unable to hide it anymore. We fit so perfectly together.

I watched as every single fucking person we passed stopped and gawked at her like she was a piece of meat. Between her sex curls, her adorable outfit, and her sensual face... I'd be staring too, if she weren't under _my _arm.

I pulled her into me more, smirking at each one of the dick heads we passed. _Mine_.

_...Well, close enough._

She looked up at me, her chin resting on my breast bone as we walked.

I winked at her, steering her around the older couple.

"Aww," she whispered, glancing over at them. "They're holding hands still! Isn't that so cute?!"

"Yes," I snickered, "it's adorable." I failed to add the fact that maybe they were holding each other's hands to keep their balance, figuring she'd either smack me for being a smartass or pull away... and neither I wanted at the moment.

"Oooh, can we go in the bookstore?"

"Sure," I replied, enjoying her grab my right hand and pull me inside with her. She headed straight for the new releases, her face looking giddy as ever. She released my hand as she pondered the shelves, while I stood back and watched her. Again, she had that lit up expression like a Christmas tree.

She picked up a few hardcovers, such as "The Shack" by William P. Young, and "The Associate" by John Grisham. After that, she gripped my arm and tugged me down to the classic sections, her eyes set on "The Complete Poems" by Emily Dickinson, and "The Locket" by Richard Paul Evans.

She gaped at them, grabbing "The Locket" and pulling it off the shelf, "Oh my gosh, this is such a classic."

I nodded, leaning against the shelf behind us, "It was my mother's favorite. She used to read it to me when I was young."

"Really?" she mused, twisting around to face me with a smile. "Do you remember it?"

I grinned, brushing her right arm with my hand while I quoted him from the book, "That which we expect of life is indeed all that it ever can be."

She beamed at me again, her facial expression admiring. "How sweet, I had no idea."

"I admire Richard Paul Evans actually. He's a genius. He penned one of my favorite quotes ever."

She tilted her head at me, "What's that?"

"I've yet to read a love story that compares with mine."

She became breathless, her hazel eyes soughting out to find my green ones, "Wow... That's beautiful."

I nodded, "Yeah, it is. He's incredible. He has a lot of good quotes, actually. There's one that even reminds me of you and I... Our relationship as it was then, and how it's becoming now."

She remained heaving, stumbling back a few steps, "W-Which one is that?"

I gave her my best crooked smile, "It's from his novel, '_A Sunflower'_. It goes, 'Absence is to love what wind is to fire: It extinguishes the small, and inflames the great.'"

Bella's body looked as if it became mush, as she tilted her head and looked at me like I was the second coming of Christ. "...So you're saying that... we've been inflamed?"

"Precisely."

"Wow..." she replied, glancing to her feet for a silent minute. Then she popped her head back up, placing her hands on her hips, "_See_? This is what I mean about you!"

"What?" I chuckled, trying not to feel offensive by her voice.

"You're the sexiest, most beautiful man on the planet, and you _know _it. You _use _it sometimes. You're arrogant, and cocky, because you _know _how gorgeous you are... And then you go, treating me like a princess and reciting these romantic quotes that you say remind you of me... You're like the complete package of a man. You just... I don't know, you're _everything_."

I felt myself grinning, and shook my head to tear away from her glance, "Bella, all I heard was you thought I was _sexy_...the rest became kind of silent afterward..."

She slapped me on my arm, biting her lip, "See?! Arrogance. Feeding your damn ego."

"I'm playing!" I replied, grabbing her waist and pulling her to me, "I'm just playing, love. I heard every word."

"Grrr," she growled into my chest, before wrapping her arms around me and giving me a hug, "you just _irritate _me."

"You irritate me too sometimes."

She nodded, pulling herself away from me again. "Good. You deserve to be irritated sometimes."

I snickered, pulling out a few more of Richard Paul Evan's books that I thought she'd like. Then I picked up her choices, and headed toward the counter.

"What are you doing?!" she asked, running after me.

"I'm... paying for these books."

"No you're not! No! You _cannot _keep doing this."

I handed the woman my card, and turned to face Bella, "It's done now, so no sense in fighting it."

"Edward! I'm going to kill you!"

"Whatever."

"I am!" she replied, pushing me back and almost making me knock the stand of bookmarks over. "Oops," she said, covering her mouth and turning toward the cashier, "sorry about that."

"It's fine hun, everyone bumps into that thing."

"It's just that my... uh, _friend _here keeps _buying _things for me. H-He's almost spent a thousand dollars today."

"Tell her she's worth every penny," I told the cashier, who had to be in her late fifties. She seemed sweet though. Reminded me of my grandma.

She smiled at me, before turning to Bella, "You're worth _every _penny."

Bella sighed, running her fingers through her locks again.

After the books were paid for, I picked up that bag as well, and motioned for her to go ahead.

As we left, the cashier called out to us, "Oh, Miss?"

Bella skidded to a stop, twisting and running back over to her. I watched as they had a silent, short conversation. Then Bella was back on my heels.

I looked at her, as we took off up the ramp in the mall. "What was that about?"

Bella licked her lips and shrugged nonchalantly, "She just said that you were a keeper."

"Oh _did _she?" I replied, feeling smug. "That was sweet of her to say."

"There you go again, feeding your damn ego."

"It has an extensive appetite," I concluded.

She giggled, not saying anything.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After our two hour visit to the mall, it was going on four in the evening. Edward suggested lunch.

"Fine, but I'm buying," I said, glaring at him as he started his car.

"Over my dead body."

"That could be arranged if you pull out that damn credit card one more time."

"Bella," he snickered, pulling the car out of the space, "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe I enjoy buying you things?"

"No, not really."

"Well it should, because I do."

"Well," I scoffed, slapping my hands on my lap, "it makes me feel _awkward _sometimes... I mean, it's sweet and I do want the things... but it just goes to show me once again that you have all this money, and I don't have nearly that much... That I'm... not good enough for you."

Edward slammed on the brakes in the middle of the mall parking lot, forcing the van behind us to do the same. "Bella, look at me. _Now_."

I glared at him, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You are _plenty _good enough for me. Stop doubting yourself, before I pull you out of my car and smack your ass. If anything, you're _better _than me."

"No, I'm not."

The van honked at us to move, but he flipped the driver off. "Yes you are. And we're not going anywhere until you say it."

"Edward, would you just _go_? That van can't back up, there's cars everywhere."

"Then say it, and we'll go."

"No, because it's not true. Your family has money, you're intelligent beyond your years, you have these doctor degrees... I work at an advertising company, I have a mortgage, and I live with my sister who helps pay all my bills. No, I'm not saying it because I know it's not true."

He put the car in park, glaring over at me. "Bella, I love you."

I sighed, "I love you too."

"But you're being fucking ridiculous right now. _Honestly_. When has any of this shit bothered you before, when we were together in high school?"

"In Forks, you didn't have as much money as you do now. You didn't have the _degrees _and the _knowledge _that you do now... We were more even..." I sighed, shaking my head as she looked down to my lap, "But back then, I still knew I wasn't good enough either. You were popular, you played baseball, you had perfect grades and were fucking Valedictorian... Plus, you had all these girls flocking after you all the time..."

The van continued to honk, as the cars behind them honked too. Again, he ignored them. "Bella, put all of the money and knowledge and all that other fucking bullshit aside. It doesn't mean shit."

"You were still better than me," I hissed, not bothering to budge an inch.

The driver in the van laid on the horn, not letting up.

Edward leaned over and grabbed my jaw between his fingers.

Then he jerked me closer to him and me her to look at him.

"Bella, I'm about to say something really harsh to you and I hope you don't slap me in the face for it. But SHUT THE FUCK UP. _Seriously_. If you honestly believe all of that shit you just said... If you _honestly _think that we're too far apart from each other to _ever _allow this to work... If you cannot see behind all this material bullshit and recognize what's sitting right here in front of you, what's _been _here, what's been _waiting _on _you _to make a decision... then you're as blind as a fucking bat. I'm _here_. I'm here because I _want _to be, because I want _you_. I don't care how much we fight or disagree. I wouldn't be putting this much God damn energy into _anything _that I thought would fail. But you're too fucking _important _to me to pass up for the second time. I'm not afraid to put you in your place, or hurt your feelings. But I _will _tell you the truth, whether you like it or not. And the truth is, I'm _not _better than you. I just want to be good enough _for _you, that way you'll one day give me a second chance... When the timing is right, for the both of us."

The horn from the van continued to blow that entire time.

My breathing became erratic. I felt my face becoming pale where he gripped me in my hands, but I couldn't pull away.

More cars began to honk, as people shouted over us.

He tilted my face down to him and yanked my sunglasses down with my free hand, so I could look at him better. "Do we understand each other yet?"

Slowly, I nodded at him, feeling breathless and defenseless. "Yes."

He released me then, his face showing that he regretted his grasp on my face as soon as he did.

I stole a glance at the mirror, and noticed my face flush from pale to red quickly.

Edward put the car in first and slammed on the gas, peeling out of the parking lot and splashing ice and snow onto the hood of the van as we went. He continued the speed rage until we made it back to the interstate.

I exhaled, and he turned to me to make sure my face was back to color.

It was, thankfully.

I didn't want to ask, but felt I should... "Are we done with our trip yet?"

He shook his head, forcing himself to calm down, "Not unless you want to be."

"No," I replied softly, "...but you should eat something. I think your hyperglycemia is kicking in."

He nodded, unable to hide his smile. "Yeah... you're probably right."

"Thank you."

It amazed me, how quickly our little debate a few minutes ago could just fade away... Leaving us to be happy and giddy again.

_Typical Bella vs. Edward day._

I was the only person besides Alice that knows about that, and how cranky he gets when he doesn't eat after a certain amount of hours. When Edward was younger, they thought he had diabetes, since his level of blood sugar was so low. It turned out that he didn't, thankfully, but became diagnosed with a mild case of hyperglycemia instead. Basically, he become cranky, agitated, and dizzy when he didn't have food intake.

"Where would you like to eat?" he asked me, watching me look around his car. "What are you looking for?"

"Something to take this tag off my shiny new pair of sunglasses."

"Oh." He lifted his hips, digging out the lighter from his pocket. "Here you go."

I grinned, kissing him on his cheek before attempting to burn off the tag. However, because I was Bella, I burned my finger with the flame.

"Ouch," I hissed, waving my hand around and dropping the glasses into my lap.

"What, did you get yourself?"

I nodded, curling out my bottom lip.

Edward chuckled, picking my hand up and pulling it to him. My index finger was bright red by my fingernail.

"Ouch, I'd say you did." He brought it up to my lips, giving it a soft kiss.

I'm sure he could hear me sigh when he did that, and grinned, kissing it again. Then he rested it gently on my lap, and turned to me, "Better?"

"Much, thank you."

He smiled, before turning his attention back to the interstate. "So, again, what are you in the mood for?"

"Something with an actual restaurant, with steak and stuff."

"As you wish."

A few minutes later, we were seated in a five starred, dim-lit restaurant, filled with candles and wine.

"Wow..." I whispered, looking at the menu, "this is expensive, and really romantic..." I wasn't sure if that was what we needed, with our _friends _stage... Okay, so I was fine with it, but was he?

He nodded, browsing through the menu too, "It's the best in town."

"Oh, okay."

The waiter came and went, as Edward ordered us glasses of ice water, and a bottle of _Chateau d'Yquem_, which sent trembles through my spine when the words were bouncing off his tongue.

Then I noticed it wasn't even on the menu. Once the waiter left, I glanced over at Edward, biting my lip, "I've never heard of that wine name before."

"It's a sweet wine, since I know you don't like the bitter ones."

"But... I've never even heard of it before."

He sighed, leaning over the table, "_Chateau d'Yquem _means great first vintage. It was acquired by Jacques de Sauvage in December of 1593. The first bottle became so rare, that it was offered for millions. Now, it has become a French delight for the higher social class. It's been passed down through generations over there, including Count Louis-Amédée de Lur-Saluces, the godson of Louis XV, and Lady Victoire."

"Then we cannot drink it, Edward! It has to be too expensive! No, send it back."

The waiter came at that exact time, but I lifted my hands, blocking the ice kettle from him. "No, we can't have this, send it back please. This man has lost his mind."

"No, it's fine," Edward said, before glaring at me, "Bella, remove your hands please. Don't make a scene."

I glared at him before trailing my eyes to the waiter, "How much is this?"

"For this particular 1999 edition, ma'am, the price runs to three hundred and seventy five dollars."

I held my breath, slowly turning my head to Edward, glaring silent daggers at his head while I remained silent.

"We'll take it," Edward replied, keeping his eyes on me with the same intensity.

The waiter set the bottle into the ice dish and left us alone for a few moments.

"Don't look at me like that," Edward said, still not looking away from me, "It's the best they have to offer."

"You are spending too much money today!" I hissed at him.

"So?"

"So! So, _stop _it! We could do without the expensive wine, Edward."

"It's the best."

"So what!"

He shrugged, remaining calm, "Well... we haven't been out in a while together, so I figured it'd be my treat. I want to get it."

I crossed my arms, taking a deep breath as I leaned back, "_You_... are _evil_."

"Is that why you love me?" he asked with a grin, tilting his head to the side.

I gave him my best evil eye I could muster, causing him to laugh at me. "It's not funny, Edward. You cannot _always _win."

"I know that... But for now, it is fun when I _do _win... Now, what do you want to eat?"

I shrugged, picking up my menu while I continued to glower at him, "I don't know, what's the most expensive thing I can order?"

"Seafood, most likely. It's flown here from Japan."

"How do you _know _all of this crap? We don't even _live _here."

"It ...says it on the menu."

I sighed, "Smartass."

Edward ordered us both New York strips, baked potatoes, vegetables, salads, soups, and rolls.

He poured me a glass of wine, and held his glass up to me. "Cheers."

"To what?" I asked, holding my glass up.

"To... making this count."

I smiled at him and clinked my glass to his, "Cheers."

We drank in silence, and as the expensive liquid slid down my throat, I shivered. It tasted incredible.

"See, I told you it was the best."

I smiled at him and gave him a nod, "Yes, you did."

Our soups were served first. We ate in silence for a few moments, enjoying each other's company in silence. Once we finished, Edward leaned forward, and brushed a stray hair out of my eyes. I blushed, feeling the heat of his body against my face.

"Bella, can I ask you a personal question?"

"Sure."

"You said that you've... been with three people, including myself... I was just wondering about the other two."

"Uh, well... When I was in school, I dated this guy named Tyler off and on. He was the first guy I'd been with, after you."

"What was he like?"

"He was sweet, most times. But he just didn't challenge me, you know? He was safe. All the time... it bothered me after a while. I didn't want that."

He nodded, "Were you two... intimate, a long time?"

"On and off for the whole year."

"How long had you been with him, before you two became sexual?"

"About a month."

He nodded in silence as the waiter took our bowls away. "And, the second guy?"

I felt my stomach roll. "Ugh, I don't want to talk about him."

"W-why not?"

"Because he's a jerk and I hate him more than life itself."

"Ouch," Edward replied. "Now you've got me curious."

I felt my hands trembling beneath the table, and I balled my fingers into tights fists as my stomach continued to flip, "Let's just say... he wasn't the nicest person to me."

It became too silent between us, and the air appeared to have thickened.

I slowly looked up, and found Edward's eyes violent.

"Did he hurt you?"

"It-It's nothing. It's fine, I'm over it."

"Bella."

"Edward," I replied, looking around the room. "Let's not do this here, okay? We can talk about James later."

"That's his name? James?"

I nodded, gulping down more of my wine.

Edward remained silent while our entrees were served to us. Then he leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, "Bella, did he hurt you?"

"Edward, please?" I said, shaking my head and not looking at him, "Can you just drop it? I don't want to talk about it."

"I'll drop it until later."

"Fine."

"Okay."

We cut our steak in an awkward silence, and I could hear him grinding his teeth together of the soft classic music that filled the restaurant.

"Well, what about you? You said you'd been with, like, five or six people... Tell me about them."

"Give me that steak before you butcher it."

I glanced down, noticing I was unsuccessfully sawing it to shreds. I handed it over to him, and then filled our glasses back up with more expensive wine.

Edward sighed, cutting my steak into tiny pieces, which again, he knew was how I liked it. "I've been with six women total. You, Tanya, a girlfriend of mine named Shaneeyl, a good friend of mine, Aimee, and a couple other girls..."

"H-Have you had any one night stands?"

"Uh... one, in New York when I was visiting my cousin Dean."

"Was that awkward?"

"Yeah a little. Basically, I rolled over when it was said and done, told her thanks for the sex, and to show herself out. She did."

"Well, that's five. What about the other girl?"

"She was... a rebound, I guess you could say. From you." He looked up at me, and I nodded for him to continue.

He sighed, "Her name was Valerie. I began hooking up with her the same time I was with Tanya, right out of high school. It wasn't my proudest moment, to say the least... But I just wanted to find someone who could take the pain away from my heart... However, as truth may have it, I wasn't able to do that..."

"Did Tanya like you bouncing around between her and Valerie?"

"Not at all, but she didn't want to be away from me, so she forced herself to not care."

"Wow. That's really an asshole thing for you to do."

He agreed with me, "I was young and naive. Stupid."

I chewed my steak, trying to figure out the best way to say my next question. "Have you... fooled around with a lot of other women?"

He shrugged, chewing his steak. "Enough to get tired of all the bullshit."

I nodded, forking my potato. "So you sort of became a player?"

"No, I was just another guy in college who was bored and looking for entertainment."

"I wasn't trying to judge, Edward."

"I know," he sighed, looking down to his lap, "it's just, I'm not proud of all my history, and I don't want you to think less of me by it."

"I don't."

"You promise?"

I nodded at him, leaning over and rubbing his hand, "I could never think less of you, Edward. Even when you piss me off."

He snickered, "Good."

We ate the rest of our lunch in a comfortable conversation, talking about our parents and friends. We spoke more about our career paths, and our goals for the future.

We sat there for two hours, drinking wine and laughing. It felt so good being in his presence. I never wanted the day to end.

But unfortunately, it did. Edward paid the hefty bill, not even allowing the check to hit the table because he knew I'd pick it up and yell at him. He simply handed his card to the waiter and smiled at me. Once we stood up to leave, I felt my head begin to get heavy and sway around.

That was when I realized we drank the entire bottle of wine. And I was drunk.

"Whoa," Edward said, quickly scurrying around the table and grabbing me by my waist, "Are you okay?"

I nodded, grinning up to him and wrapping my arms around his neck, "I'm fine."

He leaned down to me, lifting me in the air and pulling me more against him, like he did so many years ago, when we danced together at our prom.

I squealed and blushed, burying my face in his neck. "You smell so good."

He snickered, kissing the side of my head, "Thank you love. Can you walk?"

"Yep."

"Okay, let's walk." He turned to stand beside me, supporting most of my weight with his arm and body as we left the building.

And all I could think about was kissing him. I wanted to now more than ever.

It was now going on six thirty, and it was dark outside, and chilly. But I didn't mind one bit, being wrapped up in him.

Once we were at his car, I leaned against the passenger door, grabbing his jacket and yanking his torso to me. He smashed against me with a laugh, watching me push my legs between his.

"Edward," I said, continuing to pull him down to me, "I don't want to be friends anymore."

"Bellaaaaa, we still have a lot to discuss and sort out."

"I know. But I want you to kiss me."

He smirked, pulling me into the warmth of his jacket, and opening the door for me. "I want to kiss you too sweetheart."

But he didn't. Instead, he put me in the car and closed the door. Then he ran around and climbed in.

We didn't say anything for most of the ride home.

I thought about different scenarios, such as climbing on his lap while he drove, stripping him naked, and forcing him to make love to me while we traveled down the interstate. Then I thought that'd be too risky, and maybe I could just unzip him and pleasure him while he was driving... _Yeah, that sounded good._

When we turned off the interstate and on the highway that led back to the cabin, I bit my lip, leaning over the console toward him.

"What are you doing?"

"Just drive," I hissed at him, as my hands reached for his jeans.

"Bella, Bella, what are you doing love?"

"I'm going to give you head."

"Noooo," he replied with a chuckle, and I felt the car slow to a stop. "No, no, no, no..."

I looked up, noticing we were all ready on the gravel road that led to the cabin. _Damn, that was fast._

"Bella, love, sweetheart," Edward said, pulling my hands away from his jeans, "you can't do that."

"Why not? I want to."

He bit his lip, pushing me back to the passenger side of the car, "We must remain friends."

"Edward," I whined to him, "I don't _want _to be friends."

"Bella, it's the wine talking."

I shook my head, "No, it's _not _the wine talking. It's the _Bella _talking. And she said to tell you that I don't want to be friends anymore. _She _wants to give you head just as much as _I _do."

He was unable to hide his grin as he ran his fingers over his face, "God, what are you _doing _to me? Why do you keep _testing _me like this?"

I leaned back over to him, running my hands on his shirt, causing him to inhale deep.

"Please, Edward?" I whispered seductively to him. "Please let me? I really want to."

"I can't," he whispered back, reluctantly pushing me back over. "It's too soon."

"No it's not," I replied, glaring at him. "There's not a time limit on us."

"I _know_, but... Look, can we just get back to the cabin first?"

I grinned and nodded, hoping he meant that I could do it.

Three minutes later, the car was parked back in the garage. Edward quickly climbed out and opened my door for me, before reaching in the back and grabbing all the bags. And because I was horny and wanted him really bad, I wrapped my hands around his waist, trailing them over his zipper while he was bent over.

"Love, you're killing me," he said, standing up and closing the door with his knee.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. It's like I've suddenly become possessed. I really, really want you."

"Again, it's the wine."

"Again, it's the _Bella_."

"Wine."

"Bella."

"_Wine_."

"No, it's me."

"Stop arguing with me," he replied with a chuckle while he opened the door. We saw a few of our friends on the couch, a few playing pool, and a few sprawled out on the floor playing board games.

"Hey guys!" Emmett shouted, raising his hand up while he set his pool stick down. "Where ya been?"

"Out," Edward replied as he galloped up the stairs with our bags. I followed him, hanging onto the back of his pants for balance.

I felt tipsy, but not too much.

Just enough.

But I still knew what I wanted: _Him_.

In any way possible.

The boyfriend way, the lover way, the physical and emotional way... All of it was _him_.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I went into my bedroom and dropped off some bags, then went through the bathroom and into Bella's bedroom, unloading the rest.

I turned to face her, and noticed she was chewing on her thumbnail again.

Giving her my best smile, I grabbed her hand and led her to her seating area, around the long windows.

Once we were sitting across from each other, I leaned in toward her. "Bella, tell me about James."

Her face became sour instantly, "Ugh, _Edward_... Why do you want to know?"

"Because, I have a feeling he did something bad to you."

"Ugh, he just... He is a jerk."

"What did he _do_, Bella?"

She began to tug on her sleeves, looking away from my eyes, "He just... He was the, uh..."

Her voice trailed off as she shook her head.

Once she spoke again, her voice was barely heard, "He was the cocky guy on campus. A lot of girls liked him... He started showing interest to me, and I... I fell for his bullshit."

I wasn't buying it. "Did he hurt you?"

"He just..." She shrugged, rubbing her hands on her lap.

I lowered my voice, trying to be gentle to her, "Bella, look at me."

She slowly lifted her head, and I noticed her eyes were sad.

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. This couldn't be good.

"He, uh, slapped me a few times. He liked to do drugs, and one day, he just... took it too far."

"He slapped you?"

She nodded, looking down.

Immediately, I got on my knees in front of her, pulling her to me to hug her, "Bella, what did you mean when you said he took it too far?"

"He... wouldn't stop."

I pulled away instantly, grasping at her face with my hands, "Wouldn't stop _what_?"

She still couldn't look at me.

"Bella, were you two having sex when he... didn't stop?"

She nodded, hanging her head low.

Immediately, I felt my blood boiling over with sheer anger. "Did you tell him no?"

"Yes." Her voice was a mere whisper.

"And he didn't quit?"

She shook her head.

"Did you report him?"

"No. It was my fault."

"No. No, no, no, _no _Bella, that is _not _your fault. If you told him no and he didn't stop, that's a fucking crime."

"I didn't say no until we were already started."

"I don't give a flying fuck!" I shouted, causing her to wince.

My heart was pounding out of my chest, but I couldn't calm down.

"Bella, it doesn't _matter_. It doesn't matter if he came inside of you after four damn hours of willingly fucking. If you told him no at _any _damn time, that is a _crime_, Bella. He _has _to stop. It doesn't matter if it was consensual at first."

"It's..." her voice trailed off as she grew weaker.

"Bella, no, it's not okay. If you say no and someone continues to force you to have sex with them, it's either rape or sexual abuse. It doesn't matter if you were in a relationship before, or if you had sex with him before, if you were aroused at one point in it. No means fucking _no_."

She shook her head, shrugging away from me, "Just drop it, Edward."

"No, I'm not going to drop it! Bella, he _hurt _you."

"It was a long time ago."

"Oh my God," I whispered, pulling her back into my lap and cradling her head into my neck, "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so, so sorry."

I heard her sob, and it broke my heart into two.

All I could do was rock her and hold her in my arms, willing the pain to go away from her.

We sat there for a good hour, and I listened to her cry it all out.

I never wanted to kill a mother fucker more than I did him.

Once she was calmed down, I wiped her makeup away and she excused herself to the bathroom to splash some water on her face. She left the door open, because she knew I didn't trust that she wouldn't break down again. Surprisingly though, she didn't.

And when she emerged back from the bathroom, she looked both sober now, and calm. And fucking beautiful.

I pushed the bags off her bed, and pulled her into my arms. She pressed herself against me while we lay side by side, and I began to apply kisses to her forehead. She closed her eyes, pushing it to my chin.

"Bella, what's his last name?"

She sighed, shaking her head against my chin. "James McLane."

I nodded, holding her tighter.

"Edward, I love you."

I closed my eyes, inhaling her strawberries and cinnamon. "I love you too, Bella. No one's going to hurt you like that again."

"I just want to lay here with you and forget about the rest of that... Can we do that?"

I nodded, pulling her all the way up against me now, "We can lay here for as long as you want to."

"Forever?"

I snickered, "Forever it is."

And we did.

We stayed in that bed for most of the night, only leaving to use the restroom or refill our glasses.

We tickled and poked at each other, and talked about funny things that happened in our past.

Around ten thirty, we cuddled up together like spoons, me behind her, and watched old television shows like _I Dream Of Jeanie_ and _Quantum Leap_.

We never kissed on the lips, though we both wanted to pretty fucking badly.

Instead, we planted kisses on each other's cheeks, or foreheads, or the insides of the wrists.

Eventually, we fell asleep together, in the same bedroom that we attempted to have sex in on her eighteenth birthday...

And although that night didn't turn out the best for us as far as completion was concerned, we felt more than complete in each other's arms, tonight.

Again, I felt reassured that we were going to work out.

After all, Bella was all that I wanted.

...But James _fucking _McLane had it coming to him.

And I was going to make sure he got it from _me_.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 13! **

**-- I hope you guys enjoyed this special Bella/Edward chapter!!**

**-- There's still time if you want to give me your Truth or Dare ideas!! I can use them, so feel free to get as free as you want with them. If there's anything you'd love  
to see your fave/least fave characters do, or know about any of them, put them on the bottom of your review!!! **

**Reviews are better than having Edward quote his favorite authors to you. :D**


	14. Wicked Games

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for all you do!! I couldn't imagine a life without you in it now, it'd be so dull and bland! Thanks for being the best Beta in the world.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: Game night. :D **

**Thanks to everyone who took the time to pm me or respond with TOD options. I'm sorry if I didn't use all of them, but I got so many, it was hard to sort them out!!  
I'll use them later, I'm sure. Whether they be in private conversations between certain people, or however... *wink***

**A/N: Okay, another moment got me, but it wasn't Vanity Fair shoot this time. It was a damn video of the two on set, and I've linked it and the new addition for Dean: Amber.  
ALSO Edward & Bella's outfits for the day ALL IN PROFILE, please go see!  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**"I'm still learning how to pray. Trying hard not to stray.  
Try to see things your way. I'm still learning how to pray.  
I'm still learning how to trust. It's so hard to open up...  
But I'd do anything for us. I'm still learning how to trust...  
I'm still learning how to bend... How to let you... in.  
In a world full of tears, we'll conquer all our fears.  
I'm still learning how to fly... I wanna take you high.  
I'll be there 'till the end. I'll be your lover and your friend,  
I'm still learning how to bend."**_

_**Gary Allan, "Learning How to Bend"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter Fourteen: Wicked Games**

**EmmettPOV**

"Give it to me!"

"No!" I shouted, standing up to my feet.

"Emmett! Give it to me now!"

"Why should I?"

"Because you're my boyfriend and I love you!"

"So," I replied with a smirk, holding the remote as high as I could get it. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"EM!" she shouted, stomping her feet to the ground, "You better give it to me right now."

"Ohh, I'll give it to you, all right. Front, back, sideways, reversed. Hell, I'll even flip you upside down and call you your mother!"

"Emmett _Dale _McCarty, you are a horrible person for saying that!"

"I thought it was fucking funny, Rosalie _Lillian _Hale!"

"Gosh, why do you have to be so crude? Just give it to _me_!"

"I think you should beg first. Besides, why do you want the damn remote, just to turn it on fucking _The Hills_. That isn't even an actual show."

"Yes it is!" she replied, hitting me hard in my chest. "And I love it."

"No, it's not," I continued, swinging around so she couldn't knee me in my junk, "all that show is, is a fucking _skit_. It's not real, none of it!"

"Oh, well neither are your fucking Xbox games, _Mr. Rainbow Six_, but you still enjoy playing them!"

"That's because they're at least challenging. Sitting on your ass watching little girls pretend to cry over boys, while a camera is in their face hardly classifies as anything other than ridiculous."

She jumped at me, wrapping her arms and legs around me at a vile attempt to use me as a pole which she could climb on to get the remote. But she didn't knock me off my course, oh no, I was on a rant. "Do you know why those shows are so popular?" I asked, as I put my palm on her face and pushed her away.

"Why?" she asked hastily, her voice muffled from my hand.

"Because women like you buy into that fucking bullshit. You're the same type of people who make Valentine's Day such a success, and why Easter sells the most fucking bunny rabbits. You're sheep."

She continued her attempt at climbing, almost to the point to where she was straddling my shoulders -- which honestly, I didn't mind one fucking bit. "God dammit, Emmett, if you don't give it to me right now, I swear with the Lord as my witness, I will never give you an underwater blow-job again!" I skidded to a halt, not twisting my body away from her. But I still held the remote up high. "_You _were the one who suggested that, I just enjoyed it. I really don't think you'll be able to withhold from me."

"Oh yes I will, mister!" she shouted, kneeing me in my diaphragm as she tried to turn her body around and climb up my back.

Then she decided to try and be sweet and pouty for a second, "Come on, babe, I've already missed four minutes of it! It's started already!"

"Oh poor baby," I replied sarcastically, yanking her back to the ground, taunting her with the remote. "I'll give it to you, but I want to hear you beg first."

"Emmett!"

"Beg."

"No.

"I better hear some begging, woman."

She sighed, glaring me in the eye. "Please give it to me."

"No, that's not what I want you to say," I taunted her. "Say, 'I, Rosalie, will vow to give you head every day for the remainder of the week, and if you ask politely, I will give it to you more than once a day.'"

"No!"

"Say it Rose," I gritted through my teeth, trying to sound fierce.

She sighed, throwing her hands on her hips. "Fine. I, Rosalie, will vow to give you head every day for the remainder of the week, and if you ask _politely_, I will give it to you more than once a day."

"Good girl," I replied, handing her the remote. "Now go get off on girlie shows."

She punched me square in the gut, knocking the wind out of me. "Dick."

I tried to push her away, but because my face was red, all I could manage was a weak tap on her shoulder, to which she laughed at me and then proceeded to tell me that it was what I got for being mean to her. _Women. _I swear.

As I went to sit down, I felt my arm being yanked back up, as Edward breezed by me. "Emmett, get up, I've got to talk to you." I groaned as he jerked me off the couch, pulling me into the garage with him. I noticed Dean and Paul were right on my heels, and immediately, my sarcastic humor kicked in again, "Guys, I'm not really in the mood for slash gay parties in the garage again."

"Shut up, it's important," Edward hissed.

"I'm sure it is, go get your wood somewhere else though, because Emmett-ville is closed to anyone besides my girlie-girl, because only she -- with the boobs and the ass you can bounce quarters off of -- holds keys to _my _kingdom cum."

"Emmett!" Edward shouted, as Paul shut the garage door behind us.

"Okay, okay, what?" I replied with a chuckle.

"I need your help."

"Buy her flowers, light some candles, and get some Al Green. Works like a charm."

Edward glared at me, not saying anything for a few moments. Dean hit the back of my head.

"Can't you be serious for just _once _in your life?" Edward snapped at me.

I raised my left eyebrow, shoving my hands in my pockets, "Fine, what's up?"

"Are you going to stop being a dick for five seconds?"

"Yes, _bitch_, what?"

He sighed, looking over at the door, which opened and Alice bounced in, with a smile on her face.

She looked chipper. Hmm...

_Oooh, is this a fun orgy?_ I thought to myself, but didn't dare say it _out loud_, since Edward would probably knock me out twice -- once for commenting about his _BFF for life!!, _and a second time for _not being serious_.

"Okay Edward," Alice chimed, handing him a piece of paper, "I found the guy's address, I called him, put on my best radio host impersonation. I invited him to our party which will be held the night after tomorrow, saying as a secret admirer is sending him on vacation here in Colorado, and that the tickets are set and paid for. He agreed to it. Here's his ticket confirmation number, and his taxi contact."

"Perfect," Edward stated, giving her a hug, "thanks, I love you."

"No problem, but who's the guy?"

"I'll talk to you about it later. Thanks a million for doing that for me, Al."

"Anytime, E," she answered as she left the garage.

With that very second, Edward focused his attention back to me and his two other buddies, "Long story short, a guy in Bella's past will be coming to our party, and I am going to have a word with him -- that may possibly include me getting thrown in jail toward the end of the night. So I need the three of you guys to back me up, and keep me in line. I don't need anyone to step in, because I can handle it myself -- I just don't want to be too carried away. Do you understand?"

We all nodded, but Dean stepped forward, "Dude, what's the deal with the guy? What happened?"

Edward shook his head, looking to his shoes, "Let's just say, the mother fucker hit her, and he doesn't know how to take no for an answer, and he _fucked _with the _wrong _girl."

The three of us looked at Edward like he had an alien pop up on his shoulder.

I felt queasiness in my stomach that I hadn't felt since I threw up that last of the Jack on New Year's, and my heart began to pound erratically without my consent. "Do you mean..." I started, swallowing back the vile, "...with _Bella_?"

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pocket.

"Edward, was it..." Paul's voice trailed off, as he adjusted his beanie.

Edward nodded again, still looking sour.

"Christ man, I'm sorry," Dean said, rubbing Edward's arm. "That's fucked up."

"Yeah," Edward scoffed, still looking glum, "and it really hit home for me. I just... I know there's nothing I can do about it, but I feel as if, maybe if I had never acted out when Bella and I were together in high school, then she would have been with me. It would have never happened, you know? I sort of... feel like it's _my _fault. And it makes me sick to my stomach to know that, with or without my choice, I had a hand in that fucking matter. I don't want to ever feel like I do now. When she confided in me last night, I swear to Christ, man, my entire universe flipped and shook out everything that made sense in my life. It all just came spilling out, and nothing made sense anymore. I felt like the sickest mother fucker on the planet, man, because I wasn't with her. And it happened... It should have never happened..."

Edward sighed, as his arms began to shake, "I should have protected her."

"Dude, this isn't your fault, no one could have expected that to happen."

"No," Edward replied, not taking Paul's response correctly, "it shouldn't have happened at all. Not with someone I've loved all this time... Not with _my _girl."

I was so beyond pissed, words couldn't even come out of my mouth correctly. I couldn't imagine what was running through Edward's head at this moment.

"Are we gonna fuck him up?" I spat, as I started to tremble along with the rest of the guys, since our blood was boiling violently over. "Because I swear, man, I'll go to jail over a mother fucker like that, Edward. Just say the word."

"No," Edward shook his head, his eyes showing determination, "I'm gonna deal with it."

"We've got your back, Cuz," Dean replied, pounding his knuckles to Edward's. "That mother fucker isn't going to touch you once."

"Yeah, let the bitch try," Paul mused.

"Thanks guys," Edward said, patting us all on our arms, "you're the three men I'd want with me if we were ever in a battle... And I'd say this is _war _at this point."

"Straight up," I replied, nodding my head. "That pussy is going down."

We all began to sort out what we were going to do, and how to keep it away from the women and other people in the house.

Edward was still trembling as we headed back toward the door, but he stopped, and turned on his heel, "One more thing. Bella confided in me, so none of this shit leaves any of your mouths. Not even to each other, unless I'm present in the room. Her secrecy means a lot to me. I've only told you, so you'd keep me from killing the bitch -- unless I give the okay to just let me do it. Which I might. Do you got it?"

"Yes," we agreed in unison.

And I couldn't wait to see the dick-head who just fucked up his whole life when he laid a hand on Bella. Dude should have known better. No one fucks with Cullen and walks away to tell about it.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

"Hey..."

I turned around, noticing Bella standing there with her hands in her jeans pockets, looking like she lost her puppy. "Hey."

"What are you up to?" she asked, her eyes looking quite tortured.

"I'm setting up a poker table, about to ask all of the guys if they want to play a hand or two."

"Oh," she nodded, shuffling her body from side to side as she glanced around the room, "that's nice."

I pursed my lips, lifting my left eyebrow. I could tell she was trying an attempt to make small talk, so she could figure out how much I know about what she did. I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted to play it cool, or bring it up. Normally, I'm considered the nice guy -- by my choice -- but being the fact that this is the first time I've looked at Bella and felt my stomach twist in knots, that couldn't go too well for this awkward moment.

"Um," she began again, her voice shallow and shaky, "so, are you and Alice together now?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "We haven't really discussed it yet."

"Yeah?"

I nodded, pulling a few chairs to the poker table.

"Um, Edward and I, we're not together yet either."

I smirked, looking over to her and shaking my head, "Bella that's your business, not mine."

She looked like I just punched her in the stomach, "I know..." she whispered, "but I just... I thought maybe you'd like to kno-"

"You don't have to explain anything to me, like I told you before. What you do is your business."

"But I thought that you said we could try to be friends again."

"Yeah I did say that, but..." I sighed, pulling out the chips, "I still think that, quite frankly, you should have known better."

Edward and the guys headed toward me with beers in their hands.

I gave them all a nod, "You guys up for a game?"

"Fuck yeah," Emmett said, "give us just one sec and we'll be back."

"Okay, gather up all the guys."

"Sure."

I glanced back over to Bella, and she now had the expression like I slapped her mother. "So... you can talk to Edward, but you're upset with me, because _I _should have known better."

I gave her a slight nod, not looking at her, "Yeah pretty much."

"That's sort of shady. It makes no sense. Why does Edward get off so easily?"

I turned and glared at her, "Edward wasn't the one with a boyfriend, _Bella_. The one who spent the past three years of his life with me by his side to pick up all his broken pieces. That was _you_. You should have been more mature and discussed your feelings with me before making a decision that could hurt me like you did."

"What about your feelings for Alice?"

"_Excuse _me?" I asked, not bothering to hide the shock in my voice.

"Well, it's very clear that you had feelings for her from day one. Why didn't you discuss those feelings with _me_?"

"Yeah, there was an _attraction _Bella," I hissed at her, turning to face her now, "but there was never anything else. I'd never do anything that low to you. People, when they're in relationships, they still become attracted in some way or form by other people. It happens. However, I didn't act upon it in the fashion you did. I didn't _cheat _on you. The closest thing I ever did like that with Alice while you and I were together was dance with her. Once before New Year's, and once during the party. That's it."

"Please Jasper, she had it out for you since day one. You and Edward." She shook her head, scoffing.

Then she murmured, " I'm surprised she hasn't hung a sign over her head that reads, _'Picking up Bella's Seconds, come sign up' _with blinking lights."

"Alice never made any moves on me either, Bella. Sure, I wondered a few times if she was attracted to me. But she was considerate enough to not try anything out of respect for my relationship with you."

"Yeah she sure did wait a good while for you to get over me too," she snapped back.

"You know what? I would have honestly thought that, after all of the years that you and I have been friends, you would have at least taken the time to appreciate what was in front of you. Whether or not you wanted to be with me, you could have put more respect for me into mind. But you didn't. You acted childish. You proved to me that you were, in fact, like all the women I told you about all those years. All the women I told you that screwed me over in my life, all the women that cheated on me, and all the women that tore me down. Honestly, I would have never guessed that you would end up on that list... But, I guess you didn't give a fuck after all. You didn't care. So don't come over here and expect me to just smile at you and pat you on the back, and ask you how good he was. Because I can't do that."

"I didn't expect you to!" she shouted, stepping toward me with wide eyes. "All I wanted to do was tell you that I was sorry it ended this way. That I was sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and that I didn't want to end up on that list, but I did and I accepted that fault. I wanted to try and start over, get back to being friends."

"Jasper?"

I turned, to see Alice heading toward us, wearing a blue jean skirt, a baby blue tank top with a red one underneath, and colorful matching hoop earrings and bracelets.

"Everything okay?" she asked, smiling at both Bella and I.

"Yeah," I smiled back, before turning to Bella, "everything's fine."

Bella nodded, sticking her hands back in her pockets as she gave Alice a weak smile.

"What are you two up to? About to play poker?"

"Me and the guys," I stated, "Bella was just here to have small talk."

"Oh."

"Yeah... I wanted to see if Jasper wanted to try and be friends," Bella explained to her, "but he seems to want to go back on his word now."

"I didn't say that," I argued, shaking my head at her, "but I didn't say it'd be an easy adjustment, Bella. What you did was wrong, and I'm trying to get you to understand that."

"But you're fine with Edward," Bella concurred.

"Edward was _single_," Alice interjected.

"No one asked you," Bella replied.

I covered Alice's mouth before she could snap back, and gently pushed her away, "I got this, please don't fight with her."

Alice put her hands on her hips, exhaling loudly, "I just don't understand her."

"I can handle my own, sweetheart," I simply stated, stroking her cheek with my thumb, "and by the way, you look beautiful today. Have I told you that yet?"

She grinned at me, "Only about six or seven times."

"Well, as long as it sinks into your head."

"It does," she replied with a giggle, standing on her tip toes and pulling me down so she could kiss my cheek, "just be careful with her. I don't want her to get you down."

"No worries," I answered as I rubbed the small of her back.

She nodded, and turned to walk toward Rosalie.

Once I turned back to Bella, she appeared to still be upset, "For someone who isn't dating Alice yet, you sure have a way of throwing it in my face."

"I didn't say I wasn't technically dating Alice, Bella. I said nothing had been discussed yet."

"Same difference," she said under her breath, "but look. I just wanted to apologize for my actions. I knew Alice would tell you, which she clearly has, and I can't say I blame her. She wanted you, she used what I did in her favor, and she won. Big deal. So, I'm going to do what I sought out for." She sighed, before speaking with a much calmer and sincere voice, " Jasper, I'm sorry for cheating on you with Edward. I wish there was a way that I could have gone back and handled it better. I never wanted to hurt you, and I was sick and disgusted with myself after it was said and done. And I know I should have told you as soon as it happened... but I was afraid."

I nodded to her and then slightly shrugged my shoulders, "I'll have to give it some time. But I appreciate you admitting your fault."

"Sure," she said, before twisting and walking away. I watched her as she headed toward the stares, and noticed Rosalie give her an evil eye as they passed each other. _Damn_. Was anyone getting along with Bella at this moment?

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I was standing out on the balcony in my winter coat, digging in my pockets for my cigarettes, when Alice came bouncing out. Taking one look at her outfit and her long jacket, I shook my head and gave her a pointed glance, "You're stupid."

"Well, good afternoon to you too, my best friend in the whole wide world."

"Go put on some fucking jeans Alice, before you get hypothermia."

"I think it feels good out here. I just left Jasper, and _Whoo_! One embrace from him, and I'm all hot and bothered."

I turned to her again, while sticking my cigarette in my mouth and lighting it. "That's really fucking sick."

She smirked, throwing her hands on her hips and giving me her most adorable smile, "Says the smoker. How can you lecture me about hypothermia when you're going to have lung cancer?"

"Didn't you hear," I replied with a smirk, "smoking pot helps with cancer. So if I regulate the two periodically, I think I'll be just fine."

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

I laughed, giving her a nod, "I thought you'd be dumb enough to buy it."

"Not even for a second."

"Well damn."

She buttoned her jacket and walked over, wrapping her arms around my waist and placing her head on my back, "You smell nice. Is that the cologne I bought you for Christmas?"

I gave her a nod, exhaling my smoke, "Yep."

"It makes me want to lick you."

"Mmm," I teased, rubbing my back against her, "well make sure you hit a good spot if you're gonna do it. Make it worth my time. I've been in some need lately."

"Why's that?"

I sighed, "Bella."

Alice groaned, turning me around and pushing me to lean against the railing, "Please, spare me."

"Al, you're gonna have to get over it. I do care about her."

"Yeah yeah, blah blah," she pushed with her hands.

I tilted my head, taking another drag, "Al. Come on."

"Fine," she shrugged nonchalantly, peering over my shoulder at the iced over lake. "It's your funeral."

I smirked, shaking my head, "Can't you just be happy for me?"

"Not when you're with her. Why couldn't you have picked Bryan instead? She's at least more mature."

"Bryan?"

"Yeah. I thought you two were so hot together."

"Bry and I went on two dates, Alice. And it was a long time ago."

"Yeah, well, did you ever stop to think that maybe that was why I invited her back here for New Year's? Why she was hanging around you so much?"

"She hooked up with fuck-face in there," I replied with a chuckle.

"Because you made it pointedly clear that you'd rather torture yourself over your ex. Bryan's got class; she wouldn't get in the way of that."

"I have no interest in Bryan like that, Alice. She's a good friend."

"Please Edward! I remember once, you told me that she had the best lips in t-"

I covered her mouth, throwing my cigarette on the porch, "Let's not go there."

She yanked my hand away, digging her nails into my hand, "I'm just saying is all."

"Yeah, you're trying to start shit and it isn't working."

She glared at me, pulling her top lip between her teeth. "I love you so much, Edward. Please don't fuck up your life again over Bella."

"Alice," I replied, pulling her to me and holding her by her shoulders, "I'm a big boy. I will make my own decisions. Just as you will, and everyone else."

"What if it all comes back in your face?"

"It won't."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I _know _Bella."

"So do I!"

"No," I stated, making it too clear, "you _don't_. She's been through a lot, Alice. Shit _I _wasn't even aware of, until recently."

"She still cheated on Jasper."

"Yeah, she did, and it was stupid on _both _our parts to do so. But you weren't there that night, you have no idea what was running through both of our minds at the moment, and you have no idea why she chose to do it."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Then enlighten me. Maybe it'd change my mind."

I scoffed, shaking my head at her, "It's not my place."

"I thought we told each other everything. Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

"Alice," I groaned, looking up as the sky became darker, "just stop. _Please_. Stop making this a big deal. You and I are friends, we'll always be friends, and you know that I love you just as much as you love me. But... can't you just let this go? I mean, no offense, but after all, aren't you with her ex?"

"But I-"

"No," I cut her off again, "it doesn't matter. You knew you liked him while he was attached to someone else."

"But I didn't act on those feelings, I-"

"Yes you did, Alice. You don't have to throw yourself at someone to act on those feelings. But your actions and your flirtations let him know that you were there for him, and that you wanted to be with him. That he'd have someone to fall back on. Whether or not you stripped down and fucked him senseless or not, you made your point that you wanted him _very _clear. How do you think he chose you? He's not the type of guy to just do that, Alice. He made his decision because he knew the choice _was _there."

She sighed, looking down and curling herself in her arms in a protective gesture, "So you look at me like I'm a home-wrecker, too, huh?"

I shook my head, "I'm just trying to say you're not completely innocent. None of us are. I shouldn't have done it knowing that Bella was with someone. Bella shouldn't have done it because she wasn't single. You shouldn't have gently pursued Jasper knowing that he was attached, and he shouldn't have grown feelings for you, knowing you weren't his girlfriend. We were all in the wrong."

She nodded, still looking sad, "Yeah... I guess you're right."

"Thank you. So can you lay off Bella now?"

She shrugged, "I guess."

"Thanks." As we were entering the house, Dean pushed me back and shut the door after Alice went inside. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"Give me a cigarette. I'm out."

I gave him one, and chose to stay outside with him while he smoked it. While he did, I found Bella inside the house, talking with Colleen and Jacob, laughing. She looked so beautiful.

"So... are you and Bella going to get together or what?"

"Eventually."

"She's really sexy, Edward."

"No shit," I replied with a chuckle.

Bella turned out to look at me, waving with a sweet smile. I returned it, wiggling a few fingers back at her.

"Dude," my cousin scoffed, punching me in my arm, "you've got it bad for her."

I nodded slowly, pulling my lip in and licking it as Bella and I smiled at each other through the glass, "Yeah I know."

"Like... _really _bad."

"Yeah." I watched as Bella bit her lip while Colleen whispered to her, and then her cheeks turned to a slight shade of pink.

"That fucking blush she does is sweet as hell though," Dean said.

"I know. I love it."

"Then why don't you just fuckin' bite the bullet and go get her?"

"Because I want us to work."

Dean chuckled sarcastically, "And... don't you have to _be _together in order to work out?"

"Yes, but..." I tilted my head, giving her a wink, watching her cheeks turn darker, "we're taking it slow."

"If you wait too long, the moment's going to pass."

"I'm not going to wait too long."

"I'm just saying... A woman like that only comes around once in a great while. And she wants you. You better fucking own up and do something about it."

"Yeah, yeah, mind your own fucking business," I replied with a chuckle, pushing him back. "I've got this."

"Okay, Mr. GQ."

I turned, giving him my best grin. "It's in the bag. Come on, let's go play some cards."

We strolled back inside, heading toward the card table. Bella bit her lip as her and Colleen both grinned at me. Bella was wearing a fitted pair of skinny blue jeans which were folded up an inch on the bottom, and a black velvet tank top that graced her body perfectly. She matched it with a pair of black heels, and her long chestnut hair was down and wavy. She was perfect.

I walked over to her, wrapping my arms around her petite waist and burying my face in her neck. She smelled delicious, with that fucking strawberries and cinnamon that intoxicated me within seconds. I hummed, rubbing my nose along her neck. I felt her shiver as Colleen squealed beside her. "You smell very edible," I whispered against her skin.

Bella slowly ran her hands up the back of my shirt, scratching lightly as she went, "Oh yeah?"

"Yes."

I could hear her smile, as her flirtations kicked back in against mine, "Does that mean you could just... eat me up?"

"Yes."

"Is that so?"

"Bella!" Colleen squealed again with a laugh, and I felt her nudge Bella in the arm. "Oh my gosh, you're so bad."

I grinned against her neck, pulling her closer to me, "Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, three hundred and sixty-five days a year."

"Mmm," she answered, as she scratched the back of my head and caused me to roll my eyes in the back of my head, "and when do we get to start that?"

I couldn't help but laugh, loving our little flirtations, "When are you available?"

"...Anytime you need me to be." Bella giggled, and I could feel her body becoming warmer with our contact.

"Lovebirds! _Release_!" Emmett commanded. "We need Edward so we can play this game."

Slowly, I inhaled her scent again and pulled my face away from her neck. Our bodies were still connected at the waist, and I curled my thumbs into her belt loops, shoving her up against me. Her grin matched mine as she dipped her hands beneath the back of my shirt. "Possibly... later tonight?" I asked, biting my bottom lip.

"Quite possibly. What did you have in mind?"

I licked my lip, shaking my head. I wasn't expecting her to bounce back this quickly, figured she would have shied away by now. I shouldn't have though. Bella isn't in high school anymore. She's grown, she's matured... she's turned into a very, very sexy woman. We needed to stop before we got carried away. _Friends, friends, friends, friends, friends._

She dipped her head down, so she could look me in my eyes. "Edward?"

"Uh..."

"Edward! Let's go!" _Saved by the Emmett. _

I released her, rubbing her arms, "I've got to play."

"Okay," she replied, tilting her head at me. "Have fun. Win big."

I kissed her cheek and gave her a wink, before turning on my heels and heading toward the boys. "So, what are we playing?"

"Hold 'em," Jacob answered.

I looked to find Emmett on my left, followed by Paul, Dean, Jake on the opposite end from me, then Jasper, and Makin, and Rose to my right.

I lifted my brow to her, "What are you doing?"

"I'm dealer," she copped off at me with a sneer, "so... good luck, _Eddy_."

I tilted my head at Emmet, "she's a fucking girl. I thought _we _were playing."

"We are. She's just the dealer."

"You're a fucking bitch," I hissed at him with a laugh. "A pussy whipped fucking bitch."

"Eat my ass, Eddykins."

Jasper lifted the remote, turning on a country song. I exhaled, keeping my remarks to myself. Country music wasn't my favorite, to say the least. But you've got to give a little to take some.

I watched Rosalie shuffle the cards beneath her manicured nails. Her outfit was simple, white jeans with those new gladiator style heels that I didn't understand at all, and a black tank top. Her hair was pulled high in a messy bun, with pieces dangling everywhere. But the fact that she could sit next to me and was drinking fucking Budweiser gave her some props. At least the evil woman didn't need a girly drink.

She passed out the cards, and I heard giggling. I peered over Dean and Jakes shoulders, and noticed that Alice and Bryan were laughing as they danced on top of the coffee table to _'Bob That Head'_ by _Rascall Flatts_. All of the girls were in the room together, which made me smile, realizing that Bella and Alice were arms length away. Bella and Colleen were spinning each other around and swaying their hips, while Charlee was dancing with a blonde that I didn't recognize.

I scrunched my brows, trying to figure who she was. I started to open my mouth and ask, but Paul must have known, because he answered for me, "That's Dean's fuck buddy from New Year's. Her name is Amber."

"She's cute," I stated. "She's tiny."

"And she's limber," Dean replied with a wink.

Paul and Emmett burst into laughter, while Jake punched Dean's knuckles.

Our game began then, but I couldn't help but watch the girls every other minute or so. Thank God I could multi-task, or I would be fucked during round one.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Colleen and I started laughing when _'I Wanna Sex You Up' _by _LFO_ came on.

"Oh my God, blast from the past!" she shouted, gripping my hips. We began to giggle and sway with each other, reminiscing about our freshman year in college, when this old song came on. We were at a party and we were drinking. Needless to say, my shyness was gone by the end of the night, and we ended up on round tables, dancing in front of the boys, Paris-Hilton style. It was a fun way to start the new life in college.

"I wanna sex you up!" we shouted, lifting our arms, "I know the way you like it! Let me freak you up! Uh ha! Uh ha!"

I noticed Alice was dancing with Bryan, while Charlee was dancing with the new girl, Amber. She was pretty, with curly, long blonde hair, and a petite body like Alice's. She had a curvy smile, the kind that was contagious. And she was very kind at heart, which made getting along with her so much easier.

We continued to sway around, laughing about the good ol' times. As we danced, I noticed Edward glancing at us every once in a while. And boy, did he look _sexy_... Wearing black pants and a fitting grey jacket with a lighter grey t-shirt beneath it. His bronzed hair was perfect as always, but it wasn't my favorite feature on him today... No not by far. Edward wore _glasses _today. Perfectly shaped to his face, they were simple squared glasses, with thin black frames. He looked so fucking good in them, I could barely control myself.

During the day, we've flirted countless times.

From when he argued with me over his "toasting perfections" during breakfast, to when he kept trying to peer over my shoulders and tell me the answer to a pointless crossword puzzle I was trying to work on. He'd make me frustrated because he kept telling me the answers, but he was so freaking cute, and I couldn't push him away.

He'd tell me to stop smiling when he knew I couldn't, making it worse.

After that, when I went out to get Rosalie's jacket for her from Emmett's jeep, Edward took it upon himself to toss snowballs at me. We ended up creaming each other with them, until he picked me up over his shoulder and ran around the yard. Then I knew I was done for... and I was right when he tossed me into a snow drift.

During lunch, there was more interaction. He kept picking food off my plate instead of eating his own -- which was the exact same kind and quantity, mind you -- because he kept claiming that mine tasted better than his. _Men_.

Then, when he was playing Xbox with all of the guys, I kept playing with his hair and trying to distract him, so Emmett could win. He'd try to focus, but all it took was a hot breath to his ear, and he was done for. Emmett still hadn't given me that five bucks for doing that... not that he'd have to pay me. Any chance I could have to touch Edward, I took it. Gladly!

After that, we managed to talk a little while when we folded some laundry. About a few of the stupid things we did in school, and in college. I learned more about the girls he casually dated, about his family, and about his friendship with Alice. He learned more about Phil playing baseball for the _Rockies_, my relationship with my mom, and the losers I would never date again...

...Now, as the hour went by, we continued to be girls and dance around, watching as the boys slowly ended up out of the poker game. Jacob and Paul was goners first, followed by Emmett and Makin. It was down to Dean, Edward, and Jasper.

Emmett began to dance with all of us, while Jacob and Paul discussed how their techniques in Poker weren't "up to par" that time around, and what they were going to do the next time.

Makin was occupied, dancing between Colleen and I. After that, Dean got out, thanks to Jasper.

"Bella!"

I snapped out of my dream, turning toward the guys at the table. "Yeah?"

"Hey sissy, the guys want a few beers. Can you grab 'em for them?"

I nodded at Rosalie, and headed toward the fridge. Once I handed it to him, I looked over Edward's shoulder, sneaking a peak at his hand. Ace and a King of clubs. And there were three clubs on the table as well. Everyone headed toward the table to watch the game between Edward and Jasper, and take some of the beers I had left.

I ran my hands through Edward's bronzed hair with a smile on my face, causing him to hum in approval.

"That feels good," he whispered.

With that response, I couldn't help myself. I gripped his hair with my left hand and jerked his head to the side, lowering my face. I bit the side of his neck, and heard his breath intake when my teeth made contact, then he got the sexiest look on his face ever. Immediately, I wanted to do it again.

All of his friends started shouting "_OH!!" _at us.

"Bellaaaaa, baby, _stoooop _it," he squirmed with an adorable chuckle, "I'm trying to _concentrate_."

My heart sped up to ninety, and I couldn't help but giggle against his skin, before releasing him.

His grin was smeared across his face as he licked his lips, shaking his head. "All in."

Jasper agreed to match him, even though he had less chips. I held my breath as Rosalie flipped the "river" card, which was a two of hearts. I watched Jasper's lips twitch downward, but he kept his face composed. They flipped their cards over, and Edward grinned while Jasper's face sunk. "I was going for the full house," Jasper explained sourly.

All the guys cheered while Edward stood up. Rosalie slapped Edward's palm with a wad of cash that he won, and then Alice announced it was game time for _all _of us.

"Twenty questions, get in here everyone!"

Edward moved the chair and yanked me in his arms roughly, squashing my chest to his, "Thank you."

I bit my lip, wrapping my arms around his neck, "For what?"

"For being my good luck charm."

I couldn't help but smile like a fool as he gave me a big hug, swaying our bodies from side to side. Then he lifted me up off the ground, squeezing me tighter. I felt absorbed in giddiness, with his irreplaceable warmth and scent, and that fucking sexy hair and those damn glasses. I was practically a puddle at his feet.

He set me down, kissing the top of my head and pulling me into his side. I allowed him to walk me into the den, where the rest of our friends were.

Alice was sitting on the ottoman with a wide bucket in her lap, protecting it like it was her first born child. Jasper was sitting beside her, in a recliner. Emmett, Dean, and Paul were sitting on the couch, with Rosalie, Amber, and Charlee between their legs, on the floor. Bryan and Jacob were on the far love seat, holding hands. Edward pulled me down beside him on the chaise, keeping his arm draped over my shoulders. Colleen and Makin were sitting on the ground, next to Edward and I.

Alice cleared her throat, "Okay, so here's what we're going to play: Twenty Questions - _Alice style_. As all of you know, I've asked every one of you questions and gossip about what you'd like to know about each person in this cabin, including me. Then I've written them all down, cut them up into squares, folded them, and placed them into this bowl. If you get asked a question, and we don't feel you've given a good enough explanation, or if you chose to back out of answering it, then you have to do a dare, which is in this other bowl. Also, after every five questions, we have to draw out of the dare pile. That way it stays fun. You can also choose to do a dare, instead of being drawn for a question. Whichever you prefer. That way, we all get something. Deal?"

"One condition," Edward said, raising his hand, "no men making out, and girls are welcome to it."

The guys laughed at him in unison, chugging their drinks, while we just rolled our eyes. Then he said, "Do we get any outs in this game, Al?"

Alice shook her head, "Nope, you either do a dare or the question."

We all agreed to her terms, and Alice handed the bowl over to Rosalie. "You can go first sweetie. Draw one out and pick your target."

Rosalie grinned, pulling a piece of paper out and opening it. "Okay, Alice, I'm going to ask you because I'm curious. Do you like to watch porn, and why or why not?"

Alice giggled, shaking her head, "Not really, because I don't like the zooms in porn at all. It's so vulgar, and I get that they're having sex, but why zoom into it that close? Ewww. But, if I were forced to watch it, I'd prefer to watch girl on girl porn. It's sweeter."

Jasper perked his eyebrow to her, and I leaned more into Edward.

Alice ripped the bowl from her hands, clapping her hands. "My turn! Okay... Emmett, what is the one thing in your life you most regret?"

Emmett sighed, taking a drink of his beer, "Well... there was the opportunity to have a three-some with Chinese chicks-"

Rosalie slapped his leg really hard, causing him to wince.

"Ouch! Okay, sorry. Uh... Probably not spending more time with my Pops. I miss him a lot, and I'd love to have gone golfing with him once."

Alice tossed him the bowl, and he acted like he was going to peak at a few, so Rosalie smacked him again.

"My bad yo. Okay, uh... Jasper, who are you most jealous of in this house, and why?"

Jasper sighed, shaking his head, "Uh, not really jealous of anyone per se, but... I guess Edward a little."

"Why?"

"Just because he seems so slick all the time, like he doesn't have a care in the world. Everyone sort of flocks to him wherever he goes, and all the women love him. I guess I'd like to know how he handles all of that pressure."

Emmett turned to Edward and I on the chaise, "Edward, care to counter?"

Edward shrugged and I felt him pull me closer as his arm slid from my shoulders down to my side. He grinned, and that caused his friends to laugh. Then he began to laugh, "I don't really know. I'm just me, day in and day out. I don't try to be anyone else."

"But you have to realize that people are constantly around you," Jasper argued, "I mean, doesn't that get old after a while?"

Edward shook his head, continuing to pull me closer to him, "Nah." With that, we all laughed at his cockiness.

Now it was Jasper's turn, and he smirked as he read it, "Do you think you're smarter than the person to the left of you, Bella?"

I bit my lip and looked over to Edward, who turned and smiled at me, penetrating me with his eyes. "Um..."

Everyone laughed as Edward and I continued to smile at each other. "I, uh," I couldn't stop giggling, the way he was looking at me with that expectant look, "...no?" Everyone laughed louder at my cowardly answer.

"Answer truthfully!" Rosalie shouted, throwing a piece of popcorn she was chewing on at me.

"I think he's smarter than me in most things, yes."

"But what are you smarter than him in?"

"Uh...fashion?" I asked, causing them to roar more. "Guys, shut up! I don't know how to answer that!"

"It's okay," Edward said, rubbing my arm.

They passed the bowl around to me, and I read it to myself.

Right after it, I felt my face turned beet red and hot.

There was only one person I wanted to know the answer from with this perverted question, but I was also scared to know it.

"Uh oh, she's blushing, that can't be good," Paul teased me.

I covered my face, causing the room to laugh at me again.

"Just say it Bella!" Alice said with a laugh.

I took a deep breath, keeping my head down, "Fine. Edward..." then my giggle fit started again. I could feel the chaise rocking from both of us laughing, and I seriously wanted to hide.

"Bells, come on," Jacob groaned, though he was laughing too.

"Fine, fine," I swallowed, shaking my head, "fine. Edward, if I was a food, what type would I be, and how would you eat me?"

There they went again, laughing at me, as some of his friends started shouting him answers.

I covered my mouth and took a few seconds before turning to my side and facing him. And his lips had that perfect little perch to them as his friends continued to spur him on.

Then I watched as his lips formed from a half smile, to a crooked full one.

"Uh oh," Dean shouted, "he's got a good one!"

"I've got two answers," Edward sprouted off, which I think caused everyone to laugh so hard, we were getting tears in our eyes.

"Say it! Say it! Say it!"

"Okay, one... I was going to say... spaghetti."

"Spaghetti?!" Alice shouted, almost spitting out her wine she was drinking.

The guys were covering their faces from laughing so hard, while Edward held up a finger, "Wait, wait, let me explain. I was going to say spaghetti, and eat you like a three year old, where they stick their entire face over it and lick the noodles and use their hands and just rub it all around-"

That was it. Almost everyone rose to their feet, bellowing over with laughter, while I covered my burning face with both hands, feeling like a giddy fourteen year old again.

"And the second?" Dean demanded through his own giggle fit.

"OR!" Edward continued, "I was going to say... something that lasted a really long time, like... a tootsie pop or an ice cream cone-"

"Because you'd be doing a lot of fucking lickin'," Emmett cut him off.

Edward pointed to him with a grin, "Exactly."

"Oh my gosh, I think I'm gonna get sick," Rosalie said, though I could see her chuckling too.

"I think Bella's face has reached a new level of color," Alice chimed in.

It really confused me. Earlier, she was arguing with me about Edward and Jasper. Now she was... almost being _nice _to me. _What the hell?_

Edward pulled the bowl away with his left hand, while he pushed his right hand between my thighs, squeezing my left one in his hand. "Okay, uh...-"

"Wait!" Alice said, jumping to her feet, "we've past our limit. And since you're next, Edward, then you have to pull from the dare bowl, and do exactly as it says."

"Oh come on!" Edward shouted as everyone laughed again, "that isn't fair!"

"Yes it is! I told you the rules before we began. Take a dare, Eddy."

Edward rolled his eyes and pulled a piece of paper from the other bowl, "It says... Pick a member of the opposite sex and go to another room. They must exchange underwear for the remainder of the game. Both must reveal the set, but don't have to sit in them without any other clothes." He shook his head, as he scratched his hair, "That's sick, Alice."

"I didn't suggest that one! Emmett did!"

"That's because Emmett's a panty snatcher."

"That was one time!" Emmett argued, "And I should have never told you!"

"Get to it!" Alice said, pushing Edward's leg. He turned to me, biting his lip, "May I wear your underwear?"

Again, I covered my face as he climbed off the chaise. Before I could answer, I felt him bend over and pick me up, throwing me over his shoulder before I could answer. He slapped my ass once, and then took off to the nearest bathroom. He locked the door before sitting me down in there.

"Edward, do we have to do this?"

"Sorry love, it's a dare."

"Oh my God."

"Drop 'em, let me see what you got."

"Oh my God, oh my God," I giggled. "This is not happening. This is too much." I watched as he unfastened his jeans. _Oh dear Lord, help me control myself_. "I'm gonna climb in the shower, that way you can't see me."

He laughed, scratching his head, "Are you bashful?"

"I just think that it... won't be good for our... situation, if we were to get naked pelvically."

He grinned, "Fine. Hurry up."

I climbed in the shower, and bit my lip as I unbuttoned my jeans and kicked off my heels. As I was pulling my pants down, I felt something land on my head. "Thanks!" I replied, looking at his black boxers. "These are pretty."

"Shut up and give me yours."

I threw those boxers over my shoulder while I finished undressing. Then I pulled my panties off and tossed them over the shower rod.

It was silent for a few minutes, and I feared the worse: He was inspecting them or something. Taking a chance, I bit my lip and peered out the side of the curtain. There he was, holding my lacey red, low-rise, Victoria Secret panties, his lips parted. "These are nice, Bella. Thank God it's not a thong."

"Thanks," I replied, pulling my face away. Then I realized I didn't even look down at his goods when I had the chance. _Dang it. _

It took awhile to shove his boxers in my jeans and make them look as good as those panties did. Then I climbed back out, watching him re-tie his shoes. "Does my butt look okay?" I asked, spinning around.

He looked up and grinned at me, "Ass is perfect." Then he spun around, "How about mine? Does it look effortless?"

"Oooh, very sexy."

"Alright then," he said, picking me up and throwing me back over his shoulder, "off we go."

"Edward! I can carry myself!"

"No this is more fun for me."

Once we got in there, Alice stood up with her hands on her hips while he sat me back down, "Okay, let us see them!"

I rose to my feet beside him, and we showed everyone what we were wearing, which I thought Emmett was going to have heart failure from laughing too hard.

"Dude," Dean slapped his leg, "those are so sexy on you. Red's your color."

"Isn't it?" Edward replied sarcastically, before pulling me down beside him again.

We let the giggles subside, before Edward pulled out a question, "Okay... Uh... Colleen, who was the last person you cheated on? Who was the person you cheated with, and what happened?"

She groaned, covering her face, "Why did you have to pick me?"

"Because you were the closest."

"Fine... Uh, I cheated on this guy named Brian with a guy named Alex. It lasted a total of two times, and it wasn't worth it, to be honest."

I leaned over, rubbing her shoulder. Then Edward passed the bowl to her.

"Fine, okay... uh... Emmett... Has anyone ever told you to stop during sex? What was the reason?"

Emmett burst into laughing, pulling his hat down over his face.

"Was it that bad?" Colleen asked him with a giggle.

"No, no, it's just..."

I watched as Rosalie elbowed him in the shin, biting her lip. That was when I realized it was _her _who stopped him. The weird thing was, she looked embarrassed, and I've never seen her embarrassed.

"You have to say!" Alice countered.

He took a deep breath, whining under his hat. "I was... told before that I was too big and that it hurt her."

I couldn't stop looking at my sister, feeling for her embarrassment. I knew what it felt to feel like the entire room was staring down at you.

"Who was it?" Colleen asked. "That's the second part of the question."

"A... girlfriend of mine."

"Who? You've got to say names."

"Uh... I think her name was... Jessica."

"You think?"

"Yeah."

Colleen shook her head, but passed the bowl to Rose to give to Emmett. Rose bit her lip, before lifting the bowl over her head and giving it to Emmett.

"Okay," Emmett cleared his throat, "Jacob, who gets tied up more during sex, you or your partner? If you have never tried this, why not?"

Jacob smiled proudly, spreading his contagious grin around all of us, "Lately, it's been about equal, but I quite enjoy being the tied up one."

Bryan nodded proudly, causing us girls to giggle, "He really does."

"So who would you say is more?"

"Uh..." he scratched his head, "I guess me."

Bryan agreed.

"Okay... let's see here..." Now it was his turn to burst into hysterics, "I've got to ask Rosalie this one. You have all suddenly been taken hostage. The only way you will survive is if you perform oral on anyone of the same sex in the room. Who would it be, and why?"

Rosalie took a sip of her wine, glancing around the room, "I'd have to say... Charlee, because she's sexy like me."

"Damn straight!" Charlee agreed, climbing to her knees and high fiving her.

"Can we watch?" Jacob asked, as the guys agreed. I elbowed Edward when he did. He turned and grinned at me, before leaning to whisper in my ear, "Why not? Maybe it'd be her calling. After all, she's a bitch, and people say that humans loosen up when they get some pussy."

I bit my lip, shaking my head as he pulled his face away, "You're disgusting, and that's my sister."

"She's still a bitch."

"Eee, my turn!" Rosalie pulled the paper from the bowl, "Uh... Makin, have you ever done any time in jail, or community service? What for?"

Makin shrugged, shaking his head, "I've done community service after I punched my teacher in the nose."

"Why did you do that?!"

"He said I reminded him of my father."

Jasper shook his head before leaning over and patting his best friend on the shoulder, "It was worth those forty-eight hours, wasn't it?"

"Damn straight!" Makin replied.

"Dare time," Alice handed him a bowl.

Makin pulled one and read it to himself, "French kiss the person to your right for thirty seconds."

"I'm timing!" Emmett shouted.

"NO!" We all shouted back to him, and then laughed.

Alice closed her eyes, smiling to herself.

"Come here," Makin said, crawling to his knees. Alice dropped to her knees, and once they met, he tucked his hand behind her neck and pressed his lips to hers. Jasper shook his head, grinning at them. We could visibly see Makin slide his tongue into Alice's mouth, and they got more into it. I glanced at my watch, watching the seconds pass by.

"Time."

Alice pulled away, licking her lips, "Wow. Colleen, he's a good kisser."

"Thanks! I know!"

Makin pulled out another piece of paper, "Uh... Bryan, do you swallow or spit, and why?"

Bryan grinned, "Depends on the man."

"With Jacob?"

"Swallowing, all of it. Because it's yummy."

Jacob grinned and gave a cocky nod, while Emmett patted him on the back.

I felt myself gag a little.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

The bucket was passed to Bryan, and she pulled out another truth question. "Okay, uh, Jacob, what is your biggest fear?"

Jacob pursed his lips and scrunched his forehead. "Uh... I'd say... tornadoes."

"Aww, really?" Bryan cooed, forcing me to roll my eyes.

Her sister was so much cooler, in my opinion.

"Yeah, I fucking hate them."

"Is there a reason behind that?"

"I don't know, I just hate it. I even hate when the wind gets really bad outside, I don't know why."

"Aww," Bryan cooed again, forcing me to roll my eyes once more. "That's so adorable. I wouldn't have picked that."

She handed the bowl over to him, kissing his cheek.

Jacob sighed, "Uh... Edward, what exactly did you see in Tanya, and what really happened between the two of you?"

I watched as both that fucker and my little sister tensed up, pulling slightly away from the other, but not too much. _Not enough._

Jacob turned the paper, proving to Edward that he wasn't making it up, and that was what was really written on the paper.

Dickward shook his head, "Uh, I saw..." He closed his eyes, twitching his lips.

Bella bit her lip, closing her own eyes and swallowing hard.

"I was stupid."

"That doesn't answer the question."

Edward sighed again and cleared his throat, "Fine, I'll answer it so you all lay off. Tanya was the exact opposite of Bella. She was-"

"Blonde, big boob'd, and about as smart as a rock?" I offered to him.

He glared at me, while Bella did too.

"Rosalie," she scoffed, "Quit. Let him talk."

I glared back at her before turning my death gaze back to her idiot ex boyfriend. "Continue."

"She acted like she understood the emotions I was going through. The insecurities, the confusion. She said she had the same problem with her boyfriend at the time; he cheated on her with her enemy. We could relate to that, and then we just... I don't know, man. We got drunk and made a stupid mistake."

"What did you do?" Jacob countered again with a grin.

"We drank to the point of a coma, and she pulled me into Bella's bathroom, and began kissing me before I could think about it. As she was doing it, all my pain and heartache from Bella's infidelity with you came out of me, and I began to kiss her back. I remember a mix of foreign emotions came across me while I was doing it, and I knew it was wrong... but I sort of wanted to both, make Bella feel the same pain I did, but then again, I just wanted to stop and go drink until I passed out. However, since I was drunk, clothes started to get removed, and right as she was about to yank my boxers down, the door swung open and Bella cleared her throat to get our attention. I think you know the rest Jacob. After all, you do live your life through Bella."

"Edward," Alice said, "be nice."

"It's the truth."

"Fuck you Cullen."

Edward smirked, "At least you're not denying it, faggot."

Jacob started to stand up, but Bryan pushed him back down.

"Be nice. Edward's my friend."

"I don't care."

"You can fucking try," Edward said, "but don't blame me when you get put in the hospital."

"EDWARD!" Alice shouted, "Be nice, dammit. Moving on. It's your turn, go."

The bowl got tossed over to him, and he opened the paper up hastily, murmuring to himself. "Jasper, who is the most beautiful person you know, inside and out? God, that's fucking cheesy, Alice."

"I didn't pick that one either, Edward. Rosalie did."

He glowered at me, shaking his head, "Should have known. All you care about is vanity."

I scoffed at him, "You don't even know me, bitch."

"Rose!" Bella shouted at me. "Stop."

I took a deep breath, glaring over at Jasper, who appeared to be relaxed as always.

"I'd honestly have to answer Alice," he replied, causing Alice to blush faintly.

"Why?"

"Because... I don't know, I cannot explain it. She's sweet, she's sensitive, she's caring and feisty. She's beautiful and charming. She's classy but knows how to put you in your place. She's intelligent, has goals, she's the type of person I want to take to meet my mother... Alice is the most fantastic person I've ever had the chance to meet. I feel like I've known her my whole life."

"Aww," all of us girls said at different seconds, while Alice became giddier.

I caught Bella look to her lap out of the corner of my eye. _See how stupid you are? _I thought to myself._ Look at what you could have had if you weren't so dumb._

Edward brought the bucket around, handing it to Jasper.

"Emmett, what is your biggest pet peeve, having to do with a romantic partner?"

Emmett groaned again, and I could tell he feared me. I was so thankful though that he didn't tell everyone about our latest sexual problem and the one time that we attempted it, no matter how much we tried, it hurt me. I think I was too nervous last night... but I hoped he wouldn't hold it against me.

"Uh, I'd have to say... the fact that she sometimes doesn't leave people and their own problems alone."

I held my breath and spun around on my knees, facing him, "People like my sister and Edward?"

He nodded, looking at me as if he were preparing himself for war.

"That's becaus-"

My mouth was covered by his hand.

"It was my question, not yours babe."

I sneered at him, before jerking his hand away. He bugged me sometimes.

Jasper gave the bucket to him, "Your turn Emmett."

"And it's dare time!"

Slowly, I twisted back around, crossing my arms over my chest.

Emmett pulled out the paper, "Lie down on your back and be blindfolded. Next a random person is chosen. You stick out your tongue and begin licking. Places must rotate every thirty seconds, which ends up being six total. You must lick anything that is placed on your tongue and do not stop licking until three minutes have passed."

I bit my lip while everyone else laughed. No way I was giving him that satisfaction.

"I grabbed a bottle," Alice said, lying down on the coffee table in front of us, "Spin and get your random partner."

"I'm not fucking l-"

"SPIN!" Alice demanded, hands on hips. She meant business.

Emmett groaned, leaning over me and spinning the bottle.

It landed on Paul.

That caused the room, including myself unwillingly, to have another uproar.

Paul climbed to his feet, pulling his jeans up, "This is going to be great."

"Do I have to be _blindfolded_?" Emmett whined.

"Yes!" I shouted.

Emmett stepped over me hastily, and lay down on his back in the middle of the floor, while Alice wrapped a handkerchief around his eyes. "Paul, I swear to God as my witness, if any part of your ass, your balls, your taint, or your dick goes anywhere near my fucking face, I'm going to get off this carpet and fucking knock you out."

Paul laughed, kneeling over him. Everyone began to motion things to Paul while my boyfriend lay blindfolded and vulnerable on the carpet. Nipples, ass cheeks, everything was being suggested.

"Timer starts now," Alice chimed with a giggle.

Emmett stuck his tongue out and Paul placed his elbow to his mouth. We all began to laugh and chant as Emmett started licking it. Both Emmett and Paul had sour looks on their faces.

"Thirty seconds! Switch places."

Paul groaned, putting the back of his hand on Emmett's tongue, "Ew, it's fucking warm."

"Is it turning you on?"

"Fuck you Charlee!"

"I'm just asking, because it's turning me on."

"It would."

As that was going on, I watched dip shit bury his face into the crook of my sister's neck, applying a ginger kiss there. She closed her eyes, leaning her head toward him.

I wanted to throw my entire bowl of popcorn at them to get them to stop.

"Switch to a new spot!"

Paul then stood up and pressed his foot to Emmett's mouth, causing more of us to laugh.

"This," Emmett scoffed, is fucking gross.

"Keep licking!"

Emmett began again, and I could tell he was trying not to gag.

"Switch!"

Paul seemed to be grossed out to, as he lifted his shirt and pushed his shoulder to Emmett's tongue. All the men in the room began to wince and groan, covering their eyes.

"What... the fuck... am I licking?" Emmett asked between licks, causing us to laugh.

"My shoulder bitch, hurry up!"

"Switch!"

Next, it was Paul's forearm.

Then it was his index finger, causing us to all laugh again.

Once it was finally over, Emmett climbed to a sitting position and punched Paul really hard in his chest. "That's fucking gross. You taste like salty ass."

"You liked it bitch," Paul replied, shoving him with his knee as he sat beside Charlee.

"Yeah, over my dead body."

"Emmett, ask a question."

"Let's see... Oooh, I know who I'm gonna ask. Do you masturbate, and if so, how frequent, and if not, then why... BELLA?"

Again, like the blushing bride she appeared to be when sex came up, Bella covered her right cheek with her hand.

"Sometimes," she whispered, so faint that we all went, "WHAT?"

"Sometimes," she stated again.

"How frequently?"

My sister bit her lip, "Uh... once every week or two, I guess. Sometimes less."

Edward covered his face and his shit-eating smile.

I could only imagine what he was thinking about, and how it involved my sister.

_God I hate him so much._

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I took the bowl from Emmett and handed it to Bella. "Here you go, your turn."

She chewed on the inside of her cheek as she pulled one out, "Okay, BFF, what sex act do you like that would freak other people out if they knew?"

Colleen covered her face again, and she reminded me a lot of Bella. They were both bashful.

Makin nudged her arm, causing her to giggle.

"I don't know if I had anything that would necessarily _freak people out_, but... I like to be tied down completely, like the legs and the arms, in all four corners. Blindfolds are nice, and..." She shook her head, "one time I was actually _gagged_. It wasn't that bad, because I trusted the person."

"Oh my gosh!" I replied with a giggle. I never expected her to be that type. _Freak in the sheets, I guess._

She bit her lip, pulling out a paper, "Um... Edward, have you ever done anything sexual with Charlee or Bryan, or both? If so, what did you do? If not, why?"

I grinned, trying to avoid Edward's eyes.

"Alice, you're a bitch."

"What?" I replied with a chuckle, pretending to be careless. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm sure."

Bella turned to face Edward, taking her hand off his leg.

Edward closed his eyes, shaking his head. "Yes, one of them."

I couldn't help but giggle.

"Who?" Emmett and Jasper asked.

Edward squirmed under the spotlight, "Bryan. Once."

"You had sex?" Bella hissed at him in shock, at the same time Jacob did.

Edward shook his head, "No, we-"

"I didn't have sex with him," Bryan concluded. "We just fooled around."

"Like how?!" Bella asked, her mouth hanging open.

I couldn't figure out if she was still shocked, or a little... upset. Jealous, perhaps?

Edward turned to face her, "Third base."

"For who, you or her?" Bella asked.

"I did it to him." Bryan answered for him.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" Jacob asked, standing to his feet, "That's fucking sick."

"Jacob, it was two years ago! And I didn't _sleep _with him! Besides, we never shared our pasts before."

"Yeah, because I didn't expect you to say _Cullen_."

"Where was it?" I asked her, curiosity getting the best of me.

"In... a public place."

"PUBLIC!?" a few people shouted.

Edward covered his face, before leaning into Bella and burying it in her shoulder.

"Yeah... we were in the movie theater."

I felt like I started World War Three, but honestly... I'd been dying to know that answer since they went out on their dates.

Bella shook her head, before whispering something in Edward's ear that I couldn't make out.

Edward pulled away, looking glum. "Are you sure?" he whispered back to her.

Bella nodded.

"You promise?"

She nodded again, before giving him a hug, "It's your past."

He squeezed her tight, pulling her into his lap. He kept his voice low, but I could hear him since I was so close. "It was a long time ago, and it didn't mean anything to me."

"I understand."

"I just want-"

"Shh," she covered his mouth and twisted to kiss his forehead, "it's no big deal."

"...Okay."

"Edward," I said, giving him the bucket, "it's your turn now."

He glared at me, knowing it was my question that he had to answer. I looked away, climbing on Jasper's lap again.

I watched as Edward began to grin, "This is perfect. Bella, tell Alice if you have any problems for her, and Alice, reciprocate."

Bella shook her head and shrugged, "I don't necessarily have a problem with Alice. I just wish she'd let me and you work ourselves out without getting in the way."

I glared at her, not saying anything in response.

"Alice, care to counter?"

"Bella already knows what she done wrong and what I don't approve of. I'm sure we'll work it out, in due time, but-"

"I just don't understand how you can be so hypocritical when you're with my ex, whom you obviously had feelings for before I cheated on him," Bella snapped.

"Well, I didn't act on those fee-"

"Alice," Edward cut me off. "We had that discussion. You _did _act, even if you didn't do it physically. You agreed with me."

"Fine," I said, crossing my arms, "then that's it. I don't have anything else to say about it."

"Neither do I," Bella replied, crossing her own arms.

Edward handed me the bowl with a grin that read payback's a bitch. I shot him a pointed glance before pulling out a piece of paper.

I bit my lip, looking over to Colleen, "I'm sorry, you can choose to dare if you don't want to answer. I don't know whose question this was, but it wasn't mine. Um... Statistics suggest almost half the people in this world have been abused. Have you ever been physically or sexually violated?"

Colleen shook her head, "No, thankfully. None of those."

"Okay." I handed her the bowl.

"Uh..." she giggled, turning to Emmett, "Have you ever licked someone's ass? Has yours ever been licked? Give names for both situations."

"Didn't he lick Paul's?" Dean said sarcastically, receiving a punch from Paul.

Emmett grinned, ignoring that comment, "I've licked Rosalie's once."

"Ew!" Bella groaned, this time burying her face in Edward's shoulder.

"What?" Rosalie copped, "Don't knock it 'til you try it. It feels wonderful, and I'm clean, so why not?"

"That's so sick, Rosalie," Bella countered.

"Oh, I'm sure you'd let _Fuckward _over there lick any part of your body if he wanted to."

I nodded in agreement. I knew she would.

"What'd it feel like?" Colleen asked as she climbed to her knees.

"Warm," Rosalie replied, ignoring Bella's gagging noises, "and nice. It's so sensitive back there, you have no idea. As long as you've just showered and are clean, I definitely recommend it."

"Rose," Bella groaned, "please stop it."

Rose turned and tilted her head, "Edward, would you lick Bella's ass?"

Edward grinned and shrugged.

"You didn't say no."

"He'd do it!" Emmett countered, "I know he would. He'd lick any part of that woman."

Edward still had a smirk on his lips, and I shook my head and slapped him on his leg. He was too obvious.

Then I turned back to the culprit of Bella's gag reflex, "Emmett, it's your turn. And it's a dare again."

Emmett groaned and pulled out a piece of paper, "Shave something. Fuck!"

We all began to laugh as he covered his face, "Why do I have to get the stupid ones?"

"Because you pick 'em out. Now, what are you going to shave?"

"Do I have to shave something of mine, or someone else's?"

"Whichever."

He looked at Rosalie, "Do you need to shave your legs or anything?"

She shook her head, "Nope, I'm all smooth."

He groaned again, "Fine... someone get me the electric razor."

I hopped off of the warmth in Jasper's lap, and ran to the bathroom. Within a flash, I was back and handing him the razor. "What are you going to shave?"

"Well, I keep my shit nice and trimmed, and I ain't shaving my head, so..." He pulled up a pant leg and began to shave the hair off his right calf, "This is so messed up. This is gonna suck."

We all giggled as he removed all the hair. Then we made him pull his other pant leg up, and burst out laughing as we compared the two.

"It looks so much skinnier without hair!" Jasper teased him.

"Shut up!" Emmett responded.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Alice handed the bowl over to Emmett, and I pulled Bella back to my side and rested my head on her shoulder.

She was so perfect, and she didn't hold that shit between Bryan and I personally.

I loved her more for that.

I glanced over to my friends, noticing Paul massaging Charlee's shoulders, while Dean and Amber were cuddling on the couch. Amber seemed so quiet, and I felt bad that she wasn't involved with the game... but she didn't seem to mind. She had her interests elsewhere -- on my cousin.

"Bella, do you have any piercing or tattoos?"

Bella bit her lip, "Just my ears are pierced."

I grinned, shoving my face in her neck and whispered to her, "are you going to tell them about your tattoo?"

She shook her head quickly.

"Is that it?" Emmett asked.

She nodded quickly.

All I could do was grin at her secret.

He leaned over and handed her the bowl. She pulled one out, and read it, "Make out with a girl, while hovering over the guy of your interest. Wait! You gave me the wrong bowl!"

"You have to do it!" He and Alice shouted at the same time.

"No!"

"Yes! Do it now!"

I bit my lip as she blushed again, "God, help me. Colleen, come here."

"Wow, I'm like a kissing magnet!" Colleen rose to her feet quickly, and something told me that they'd kissed before.

Immediately, I was both turned on and curious. Bella grabbed my legs, pulling me in the middle of the chaise as Colleen climbed to my left. I never felt luckier than this glorious, shining moment.

I threw my hands behind my head, watching them linger over each other, with their chests in my view. They grinned at each other, and it turned me on more.

"Three-way! Three-way! Three-way!" All the guys chanted, causing me to laugh. _ I wish._

Colleen gripped the back of Bella's neck and pulled her close, while Bella dug my shirt between her fingers. She was doing it on purpose, the fucking tease.

Then, as Colleen went for the kill, Bella turned and looked at me. Then she fucking grinned, her eyes finding mine.

I could only imagine what she was thinking. I winked at her, watching her turn back to Colleen. Then she wasted no time opening that perfect mouth of hers, and I watched as Colleen molded her lips to hers instantly. They both turned to opposite sides as they ran their hands along each other's neck, deepening the kiss.

Within seconds, there was everyone surrounding the chaise, as these two sexy women kept pushing toward each other, their legs pressing into me and their hands every once in a while trailing down to rub my jeans or my stomach. Both of them were now fucking teases.

Bella stuck out her tongue, and before I even had time to gasp, it was being sucked in Colleen's mouth. Then they pushed harder, and I couldn't help but rise on my elbows, wanting more of it. They became sensual again, their lashes fluttering shut as they stroked each other with one hand, and my stomach with another, their lips massaging the other's. All I wanted to do was have everyone else leave, and beg them to start stripping.

Then it was Colleen's turn to stick her tongue in Bella's mouth, and she fucking hummed when she sucked it in. I closed my eyes for a second, regaining my composure. The guys around us were either whooping and hollering, or dead silent, demanding it with their eyes to never stop.

I watched as Colleen's hand released my shirt and trailed up, before molding over Bella's left breast. They pulled apart for a second, giving each other fucking sexy 'fuck me slowly' eyes. Then the grinned and began kissing again, causing all the guys around me to shout. All I could do was grin and bear it, frozen half way beneath them while Bella gripped onto my fucking button of my jeans for dear life. She wasn't helping her whole panty situation, which I was currently wearing -- fucking Christ. There was no way I was stopping that shit though.

"Okay, okay," Alice cut in, causing everyone to growl once Bella pulled away, "we should stop before this turns rated R."

I watched as they licked each other's taste off their lips with smiles.

Then I prayed in my head that they'd do it again, for me, in private, later on... and include me. Maybe on repeat... Forever.

Bella turned to me with a smile, "You're getting a dare."

"Why?" I chuckled."

"Because," she said, nestling down beside me, "I said."

"Oh. Okay," I replied with a laugh.

She pulled one out, crossing her fingers, "YES! Okay, Edward, you and a person from the same sex of your choice must get up on the stripper pole and perform a routine, before turning your attentions on two lucky people from the opposite sex, and give them a lap dance."

I groaned as everyone charged toward the stripper pole, laughing. She pulled me up, biting her lip. I tapped it with my index finger, shaking my head, "I'm getting you back for this one."

"Maybe you will, maybe you won't."

I jerked her to me, causing her to gasp, "Oh yes. I will."

She dragged her teeth across her bottom lip, before popping it back out, "I can't wait."

I allowed them to dim the house lights and add the strobe and black lights, and turn on the music, while I climbed up on the stage, ignoring everyone hollering and whistling at me. "Emmett, get up here."

"Why me?!"

"Because I'm not dancing beside my cousin on a pole, and Paul will like it too much."

Emmett groaned, muttering how he had to shave his leg and lick a man, while he climbed up the steps with me. I just grinned, pointing to Bella, who was sitting in a chair in front of me.

She flipped a button on the remote, and _'Sexyback' _by _Justin Timberlake_ came on.

We started laughing as they all began to cheer us on. We began to sway our hips and dance around, and I could feel my face growing hot, but I quickly brushed it off. All I could feel was Bella's tiny underwear smashing everything I had together.

Emmett was first to take the pole, trying to flip his body around it. Of course, he didn't make it, and he fell flat on his back. Then he tried to play if off like he meant to do it, shaking his butt and popping it out as he pulled himself back up. "Try it dude!" he laughed at me.

I shook my head, as the girls cheered me on. "Go get 'em tiger!"

I gripped the pole and tried to spin around, feeling like an idiot. Once I realized I could sort of do it without breaking a rib, I did it again, causing all my friends to laugh harder at me.

"Look at those shiny red underwear!" Jasper shouted.

"Yeah, he's giving your panties a work out!" Dean said.

"In more ways than one, right Bella!" Colleen nudged her.

Emmett and I continued to dance, pulling off our jackets and spinning them over our heads and laughing. Emmett tried to climb up the pole this time, and he wrapped his big legs around it, before bending over and sliding down it. I about fell off the stage from laughing so hard. Then I felt someone grab my jeans, and turned to find Bella and Bryan fucking shoving dollar bills into my sides. I walked away from them, shaking my butt to the beat and giving them a show.

As I tried to grab the pole and make some kind of a gymnastic move that I wasn't capable of, I slipped and slid down it. The guys were about to die laughing at me. Then I squatted and held onto the pole, shaking my butt around toward the girls. Emmett began to smack my ass, while he teased his nipple through his shirt.

"Come get it girls!" He shouted, causing me to about choke from laughing.

Then I tried to do a handstand and show off, but I was laughing so hard that all the girls really got out of that was a four second stomach bare, before I fell on my head. I laid on the stage for a moment, dying from both pain and laughter. Then I decided to play it off by doing little pelvic thrusts toward the air and spinning around.

The girls began to holler at that, so I decided to work that angle, rubbing my stomach.

After that, I climbed back up to my feet, and pulled off my t-shirt and threw it at Bella.

Bella and Colleen jumped on their feet, clapping their hands and throwing wads of cash at me.

Emmett tried to do another upside down spin on the pole, because he couldn't seem to get it through his head that he was too big for his own body. Again, he slid down it awkwardly, but at least he didn't fall on his back this time around.

Once he climbed back to his feet, we began to do thrusts toward the girls in rhythm to the beat. Then he did it toward the steps up to the stage. Then the actual stage. Then it was Rosalie's leg.

I decided to work my hips and grind down to the ground, doing my best booty shakes and hip thrusts as I lowered it to the ground. I honestly didn't think I was half bad at this. _Maybe I should take up stripping as a career choice instead!_

We walked toward the girls and started shaking our butts over their laps. I felt multiple hands smacking my ass, and I turned to notice a whole lot of people were smacking Emmett's too, as he straddled Rosalie's lap. I grinned as I turned to face Bella. She slouched down, motioning for me to _come on_ with her hands. She wanted it too bad. So did I, dammit. _Okay, well not the stripping part, but her... most definitely._

I began to sway my hips around, trying not to die from embarrassment. I felt someone push me toward her, and had to grip the back of the chair to keep from falling on her. She grabbed the sides of my jeans, jerking me against her. I straddled the chair, hovering over her.

Then, keeping my eye contact, I began to do circled motions against her stomach, and chest, and lap, and anything else I could get to. She bit her lip as I became more sexual with her. And it just spurred me on more.

I watched Paul tilt her chair back a bit, to where she was sitting on the back two legs. I grinned at her and walked forward, before swaying my hips over her chest and face.

All she could do was blush, and giggle, and rub my jeans as I worked.

The beat began to take over as the lyrics died down, but everyone around us got closer.

I twisted back around, and bent over to put my hands on the ground. Then I straddled her backward, making mores sexual motions as my crotch bounced on her lap.

I thought she and Colleen were going to lose it; they were laughing and screaming so hard.

Then I pushed myself up, and danced with my shirt-less back rubbing up against her breasts, and she kept running her hands all along my chest and abs.

Once the music finally came to an end, I was climbed off her lap, laughing as I noticed Emmett was now in his boxers with his jeans on Rosalie's head. He was too funny.

I begged Alice to let me take these underwear off, because at this point, they were down-right disturbing on my skin. She finally let me.

Once Bella and I returned back into the room, with my shirt back on and the both of us commando now, we all nestled back in. I pulled out a piece of paper, "Okay... Alice, describe the most recent embarrassing and awkward moment you've had."

Then I burst out laughing when I realized I already knew the answer.

"Edward, that's not fair! You didn't have to pick me!"

"It didn't dawn on me until after, I promise!"

"Whatever!" she pouted, crossing her arms.

"I swear it, Alice!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"What is it?" Rosalie asked.

Jasper's face was red too, making me laugh harder.

"Fine, I'll say it," Alice said, putting her hands on her hips and trying to sit tall. "I was taking a bath, in my own private time. I sort of... decided... to ...I don't know, relieve some... tension."

Everyone began to laugh as I covered my mouth to keep mine as silent as possible, since she could deck me at any moment.

"Long story short, I let the fantasy of someone get the best of me, and I began to shout their name and stuff during my... alone time."

Then we began to laugh louder.

"And while I was doing it... the person whom I was moaning their name happened to walk into the room, and catch me."

Jasper was biting his knuckles while Emmett covered his face from laughing so hard. "What did you do?"

"I freaked out and covered myself up. I didn't know what to say to him."

"Who was it?! Was it here?" Jacob prodded.

Alice closed her eyes and nodded.

"JASPER!" Most of the room shouted, and both Alice and Jasper covered their faces.

Bella's mouth about hit the ground, "When was this?"

"The day before New Year's," I replied silently in her ear.

"Where?"

"In our shared bathtub."

"Ew! Oh my God!" Bella covered her mouth, and as she giggled, I watched her expression change.

Then she dropped her hands, looking at Jasper. "But... we were together then."

"Yeah," Jasper chuckled, "it was an accident. An in and out thing."

"I'm sure it was!" Emmett roared.

Alice pulled out a paper, attempting to change the subject, "Bella, if you could relive one day, what would you do differently?"

Bella pressed her finger to her cheek, thinking for a second, "Can I say two of them?"

We all nodded.

"Okay, the first one... would be the day that I let Jake kiss me, when Edward walked in. I would have never allowed it to happen, and Edward and I..." she turned to face me, her eyes burning into mine as she frowned, "...would have never broken up. None of the stuff with Tanya would have happened... and we'd be together right now."

"How are you so sure?" Jacob scoffed.

"Yeah?" Rosalie chimed in.

Leave it to those two, I swear.

"It's a feeling I have," Bella explained. "I can see how easy it was for us two to reconnect... That spark that never left. It gives me hope, and makes me wonder how we _couldn't _have worked, when the spark is still here all these years later..."

I smiled at her, rubbing her back.

"And the second would be the day my Dad got shot. I would have told him to never go to work that day, to just stay home with me."

I gave her a hug, pulling her under my arm. "I love you," I whispered to where only she could hear.

She patted my leg, "I love you more."

I grinned against the side of her head, before giving it a slight kiss.

"Edward, what is your best day ever?"

"Any day I get to spend with you."

"No, I'm serious!" Bella said, squeezing my knee.

"Okay, okay... I'd say the... _Let me sign _moment with you and I here... that was a wonderful day."

Everyone went "Huh?" while she turned and grinned at me. "It was, wasn't it?"

"Yep. I was looking for that damn thing everywhere. I was so glad you had it."

Bella grinned at me, before rubbing her face against my chest and squeezing my hand. "Alright..." she pulled out a piece of paper with her free hand, "Jake, do you have unresolved feelings for me?" She scoffed, shaking her head, "Oh dear God, this is so overplayed."

Jacob laughed, scratching his head, "None at all. I just wish you'd have better choice in men. Well, in fact, I wish you'd choose a man in the first place. Not that bitch."

I turned and glared at him, half tempted to pull Bella down and make love to her in front of him. It's a good thing I'm not a dick like that.

Instead, I chose to not say anything, because I wasn't in the mood to fight with him.

"Jacob, Edward is more than a man than most people I know," Bella attempted to defend me, "and I love him, so you're going to have to deal with it. Like I told you before."

"You two aren't even together. He just wants to fuck you, Bella. Why can't you see that?"

"He already had sex with me, Jacob! Everyone knows that! But guess what, he's still here."

"Yeah, until you aren't a chase for him anymore. Then he'll go back to ignoring you and fucking blondes."

"BLACK!" I shouted, not even recognizing the harshness in my own voice, as everyone became silent. "THAT'S _ENOUGH_."

Jacob scoffed, shaking his head. This time though, he kept quiet.

It was a wise decision.

"Your turn, Jacob," Bella sneered at him, tossing the bowl toward him.

Jacob jerked it out and glared at Rosalie, "If you could spend eternity with one person, who would it be and why?"

"Emmett, of course," she replied, as Emmett leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "But if not him... Then maybe Justin Timberlake, or George Clooney?"

"Figures," Emmett remarked.

Rosalie pulled out the next question, "Alice... what is something you're afraid to do sexually that most people aren't, and why?"

Alice bit her lip and closed her eyes, "How did I know I was going to get this question?"

I furrowed my brows, watching her cover her face.

"Argh, okay... Um... I'm sort of... afraid to let anyone... do that..."

"Do what?" Most of us asked in unison.

"You know... what a guy does to a girl..."

"Fuck her?" Emmett copped off.

"Finger her?" Paul suggested.

"Put it in her ass?" Dean said, receiving a slap on the side of his head from Charlee.

"Pass her to his friends?" Makin suggested sarcastically, causing the guys to laugh.

Alice kept shaking her head, growing more embarrassed.

"Oral sex?" I piped up.

She nodded, keeping her eyes closed. Everyone began to freak out. The girls shouted "NO WAY!", while the guys shouted, "Why the hell not?!"

I just sat still, feeling dumbfounded. I almost did that to her, the night in her room we about hooked up... and then I remembered, she pulled me away from her, and said_ not yet_. She _was _scared. Holy shit, I had no idea.

"Why?" Jasper asked, twisting her around on his lap so he could look at her.

"Yeah, it feels good!" Bryan shouted. Rosalie slapped her hand, agreeing with her.

"I don't know, it's just so... personal, and _vulgar_. I mean, yeah, I've thought about it and wondered if it'd feel that good... but I'm just too scared."

"Alice, Alice," Emmett said, motioning for everyone to calm down, "wait, seriously. No joke, serious question. Are you worried about how a guy will... act down there?"

She shrugged.

"Or what he'll think of you?" I asked.

She shrugged again, slightly nodding. She looked so embarrassed. Poor girl.

"Alice, you have nothing to worry about," I said, trying to calm her fears, "trust me. You should let it happen."

"I can't!" she whined, covering her face again, "I'm so... I don't know. I don't go spending all day inspecting vaginas, I don't know how mine compares to other girls, or if guys will laugh at me or make fun of me, or whatever the case may be. It's just too personal."

"You'll love it," Bella chimed in, "trust me..."

I think half the guys turned their direction to her, including me. No one expected her to pipe in on this subject, Miss Shy and Adorably Bashful. _She was so hot!_

"_Bella_! I thought you'd never let a guy do that either!" Rosalie said.

Bella half-covered her face in my shoulder, "Yeah well... it did."

"With _who_?"

Suddenly, my entire face turned into one fucking shit-eating grin. _This just kept getting better and better! _

I leaned over, whispering in her ear, "_I _was the first?"

"Mmhmm," she nodded, covering her face that was still visible to her friends.

"Last week ...when we..."

"Mmhmm."

"Why didn't you _tell _me?" I asked, as my friends began to give me thumbs up sides where she couldn't see and casual smirks, "I would have made it worth your while."

"You _did_, are you kidding me, Edward?! You did it forever... Every single second of it was worth my while."

"Yeah, but I could have done it better! I had no _idea _I was the first though. I would have spent the entire fucking night down there, had I know that."

"Edward!" she giggled, shaking her face against my sleeve, "You're making my face burn up."

"No, I'm serious!" I said, trying to keep my voice as low as possible, "I'm not playing, Bella. I _loved _doing it, every second of it. I wanted to name my own little private food group after you, that way I could one day tell you that it would be essential for me to do it every day or so."

"Edward, _stopppp _it."

I felt my entire face light up with my fucking grin. That revelation on Bella's part just made my night.

She giggled, pushing her face to me. "Alice," she said, "Just relax. You'll like it."

"...I don't know," Alice shrugged, wrapping Jasper's arms around her as invisible shields, "I'd be too nervous."

"Jasper will do it, won't you Jazz?" Jacob said with a chuckle.

All Jasper did was grin like a gentleman, and nod.

"Okay... last dare of the night," Alice pulled out a piece of paper. "Oh my God! Okay... Rosalie, you have to make-out with... Edward."

I think my heart just sunk and my food came up.

"I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO!" the both of us shouted in unison.

"You have to! It was the rules."

I seriously felt the bile rising in my throat, "I'll get herpes."

"Fuck you, dick weed. I don't have herpes. You're the one with the STD, I'm sure!"

"I'm not the one who fucks anyone who would pay a lick of attention to me."

"Bullshit, Edward! You've banged or made out with half of all the females I know!"

"What the fuck ever, Rosalie! You're the one who fucked Charlie Bruis-"

"JUST DO IT!" Alice shouted at us. "Do it and be done with it."

I glared at her as she crawled toward me. "Don't even think about it."

"Just get over here, Assward. The quicker you do it, the quicker I can spray some antibacterial on me."

"You'll bite my fucking tongue off, I don't fucking think so."

She grabbed me by my shirt, jerking me off the couch.

Immediately, I felt more disgusted with the situation. "I really don't want to fucking do this."

"What are you afraid you'll like it too much?" Rosalie snapped at me with a grin.

"No, I'm afraid I'll vomit in your mouth."

"Whatever."

I took a few deep breaths, grimacing as I inched closer to her. Kill me now, kill me now, kill me now.

She slapped me hard on my chest with her full palm, "Fuck you, I'm not _that _repulsive!"

I smirked, shaking my head, "You're right. You're worse."

"Stop bickering and make out!" Alice hissed at us.

I growled at my former best friend who thought of this repulsive dare, then glared at Rosalie.

She pulled me to her as we both exhaled exasperatedly.

"Let's just get this over with," I sneered at her.

"Fine."

"_Fine_."

"Shut up." She jerked me to her, crushing her lips against mine. I felt myself grow queasy, not really allowing myself to enjoy it.

"At least make an effort guys," Makin and Colleen said.

"Yeah!" Paul and Charlee agreed.

Fucking pricks.

I started to feel Rosalie's mouth moving on mine at that moment, and I realized she was actually making an _effort_. Then I thought to myself, _She's going to think you're a fucking lousy kisser if you don't do this shit right, and she'll never let you live that down._

With that, I said my grace with God, and tilted my head, parting her lips slowly with mine.

I very delicately ran my bottom lip along hers, before gently licking it. I could hear her sigh, but it was so quiet, I barely recognized it, and knew no one else would. I closed my eyes tighter, and pulled her bottom lip in my mouth, sucking on it the way I knew she'd want it if Emmett were kissing her. I could feel her breathing hitch as I released it.

Then she pushed her mouth up against mine harder, and I brought my tongue out the same second she did, and we licked lightly between or sensual kisses. To make her gasp like I knew she would, I gently sucked her warm tongue into my mouth, gripping her arms and jerking her to me. She -- _involuntarily, I'm sure_ -- gripped my arms, as her kiss became stronger, more demanding. I engorged in her, giving exactly what I knew she wanted, by her body reactions. I could tell when she wanted a sensual part, and when she wanted an eager part.

I kissed her and kissed her more, sucking and licking and caressing and nibbling, ignoring everyone's chants and hollers and heavy breathing, until I knew she couldn't fucking see straight. Then I slowly pulled back, placing a chaste kiss on her lips again, and then grinned as I watched her lashes linger closed.

She fucking loved it. _Score_.

She slowly blinked her eyes open, and shut her mouth instantly, when she realized I had caught her enjoying me.

"Did you like that?" I asked quietly, over the cheers of our audience.

She shrugged, blinking a few more times as she tried to maintain her bitchy composure once more.

"Good," I replied cockily as I leaned closer to her and whispered in her ear, "because I'm sure you can taste a sweet, private part of your delicious sister on my tongue. Thanks for sucking that off for me."

I felt her slug my shoulder and call me an arrogant dick, but it was worth it. _I fucking won._

As I climbed back to my feet, Bella got off the couch, winding her fingers between mine, "That was the most disturbing thing I'd ever seen in my life."

I smirked at her, pulling her to my side, "That's what you get for making out with Colleen and not letting me join."

"You didn't _ask _to join."

"You wouldn't have let me."

"Why wouldn't I?" she replied, teasingly.

"Bella, if I wanted to be toyed with, I'd go to Toys-R-Us."

"I'm not playing with you, Edward." She turned to stand in front of me, while everyone began to go their separate ways. "I'd do anything you wanted me to do."

I gripped her hips, pressing her up against me, "Thanks love."

"I mean it."

"I know," I whispered, leaning down and kissing her forehead, "but all I want is you. No one else."

"I was hoping you'd say that," she exhaled, dipping her hands beneath my shirt.

"I'm not tired yet, are you?" I asked her.

"Nope."

"Do you... maybe want to go for a midnight swim with me?"

She grinned, rising on her toes to wrap her arms around my neck, "Of course."

I kissed her cheek a few times, and then the corner of her mouth.

This could get really bad for the whole _friends _vibe...

But it was too late now. The images of Bella in a barely-there bikini taunted my brain.

There was no way I was turning back now.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 14! **

**-- Again, thanks for all the TOD questions/dares, and I swear guys, I will use more later!!! ;)  
Special shout out to CULLENBABE86 for that wonderful PM with ideas. I owe you one!**

**-- I know some people may be shocked that Jasper let Bella have it in the beginning. But the way I saw it, he had a few days to let it sink in now.  
He may have bowed out gracefully, but I do believe that it takes awhile for something that harsh to sink in, and then, regardless of what you once said,  
...you're gonna end up a little bitter. No worries though. Things are slowly easing their way on track again.  
**

**Reviews are better than Edward dancing to SEXYBACK! :D**


	15. Confidence Unplugged

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for the best present I've ever received. It's so comforting, I love it! Thanks for all your dedication to this story as well hun. XOXO

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**Chapter Fifteen: Bella and Edward learn to defend themselves better,  
and Bella grows some *you know what*. I know, it's about time! Enjoy!**

**Some may be NSFW. ;) **

**I wasn't going to actually write out the midnight swim, just skip to the beginning of the next day... but you guys asked for it, and you know I cannot deny you. I'm like Edward! ;)**

**SPECIAL SHOUTOUT TO COURTNEY -- Your 1st requested part is in this chapter! ;)  
**

**A/N: Bella's tattoo in the profile. It took forever to find the cute one I wanted, but I didn't want to give her something  
clichéd and boring. I hope you like the double meaning behind it, which will be explained in chapter.  
Outfits & songs in profile as well.**

**FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE ASKED: Most chapters run anywhere from 17k to 21k words, and about 38 pages long on average. So for those of you -- which is most -- who  
say you love the long chapters, thank you! I'm just a descriptive storyteller when it all comes down to it!  
If you're curious, this chapter is 22, 098 words. ;)**

**

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**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"And that's what you get for falling again, you can never get him out of your head.  
And that's what you get for falling again, you can never get him out of your head.  
It's the way that he makes you feel.  
It's the way that he kisses you.  
It's the way...  
that he makes you fall in love..."**_

_**Sugarcult, "Pretty Girl"**_

_**

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**_

**Chapter Fifteen: Confidence Unplugged**

**BellaPOV**

I bit my lip, twirling around in the bathroom for the hundredth time. Tonight, I chose a tiny green, camouflaged two-piece bikini. Nothing too flashy, not too tempting. I pulled my hair up into a messy bun, and bit my lip as I looked at my butt.

Everything seemed to be in place, nothing falling out... check. No weird marks on back of legs from where sitting in jeans... check. Boobs not falling over the sides... check. Totally nervous as hell... check.

I leaned over the sink and sat my hands on the rim, shaking my head at my reflection. _He's just a _man_, for crying out loud. Nothing too out of the ordinary. _All we're doing is swimming... Alone... At night... and we're friends. Oh who was I kidding? This is a _disaster_, and I didn't have high hopes for my self-control, considering I was freaking out in the bathroom before I even got out to the pool.

Edward told me he was going to head downstairs, round up some beers for us, and he'd be waiting for me poolside. After a few more minutes of looking over my imaginary checklist, I held my breath and left for the pool.

Once I got in there, I found Edward sitting on the side of the pool, wearing white board shorts that had green, blue, and black diamonds trailing down the left side of the fabric. He was swaying his legs into the water, sipping on his Coors Light. I glanced out the tall windows of the cabin, admiring the night sky and the stars _that shone_ in through the glass_ above us_. How romantic... _WAIT! Stop it, Bella. FRIENDS._

I smiled as my heart kicked up, and I walked over to him. "Hey."

He popped his head up, and grinned at me, "Hey beautiful."

"Sorry it took me so long, I couldn't find the bikini I wanted."

"Well the one you chose works well. Here." He handed me a cold beer, then patted the edge beside him. "Sit."

Holding my breath, I sat down, dipping my feet into the water. "Gosh, the water is freezing in here."

"The temperature outside affects it."

"Oh."  
"You'll get used to it eventually."

My lips began to shiver as my feet swarmed around the frigid water, "I like your shorts."

"Thanks, angel."

"Anytime." I closed my eyes and took a drink. _That was a stupid response. Don't be such a girl, Bella._

He stuck a green grape between his teeth and smiled at me again, before popping it in his mouth and chewing it, "I brought fruit."

"Mmm, yummy."

He placed the bowl on his lap and pulled another one out. "Open says me."

I giggled and opened my mouth, allowing him to put it in. I felt like a dork, smiling at him while I chewed, but I couldn't help it... His smile was absolutely contagious. We ate a few pieces of fruit -- grapes, strawberries, chopped bananas -- in silence, every once in awhile feeding each other more than ourselves. The entire time, our smiles kept appearing.

After we were finished and took a few sips of our beer, he stood up and sat the bowl behind him, on a lounge chair. "So, Isabella... are you ready to tackle the pool?"

I shrugged, feeling more butterflies swarming around my belly. "I don't know... It looks like the north pole inside there."

"Don't be such a baby."

I sighed, "Are _you _ready?"

"If you are."

"Well... I guess I will if you will."

"Cool."He grinned, pulling me up.

Immediately, I felt a threat come on, when he scooped an arm between my legs and picked me up sideways. "No! No, no, no, no, please don't throw me in!"

"Why not?" he chuckled.

"Because I don't wanna be thrown in!" I cried, twisting my body around and latching onto his neck and shoulders for dear life. "It's COLD! Please Edward!"

"Please what?" he mused.

"Please don't throw me in! Be nice, be nice, be nice!"

He snickered as he continued his walk to the deep end... more certainly, to the diving board hanging above the eighteen-foot deep end. "Now," he said as he took his step up onto it, "why would you think I'd do such a thing to you?"

"Because you're mounting the diving board!"

He snickered, walking out further as he twisted my body back around to face him.

I wrapped my legs and arms around him, as far as they could go, praying to God I didn't knock us both in. "Edward, please, I'm _begging _you! It's gonna suck so bad!"

He laughed at me as I tried to climb over his shoulder and down his back, to get away. Because I couldn't do it, and looked like an idiot.

"EDWARD!"

"_What_?! I'm not even doing anything!"

"Yes you are, you're making it bounce!"

"I am doing no such thing."

"Yes you are, you butthead!" I shouted, my voice echoing off the walls as I continued my scrounge. Crawling and moving and struggling up his body.

"What exactly... what type of maneuver are you trying to pull here, Bella?"

"The maneuver that makes you turn around and get off the board!"

He gripped my legs tightly around him. "Oh I can turn around," he said, as he twisted and continued to bounce us on the ledge of the board. "And I can get off the board. Do you wanna do a backdive?"

I felt myself whimpering like a dog that had been kicked, "Please... please, please, please, please. How about _you _just jump in, and I'll watch, safely and dried and warm, from the sidelines?"

"It'll be quicker if we go together. Besides, you'll chicken out and not get in, and I'd just have to chase you all over this pool until you did."

"Edward," I whispered, "please."

"Sorry Bella."

He pretended like he was going to jump out, and I screamed "NO!" really loud.

Then he burst into laughing, and I growled at him. "You're such a meanie! Why are you so mean to me?"

"Because it's fun."

I sighed, burying my face in his neck, "If you promise not to jump, I swear I'll love you forever."

"You'll love me forever regardless."

"Ed-"

That's all I got out, before I realized we were flying through the air while we twisted around and landed in the arctic water. It felt like razor blades were scraping at my skin as we battled for the surface of the deep pool. My heart felt like it stopped, but my pulse in my wrist was doing overtime. I swam and swam until I hit the top, and then I inhaled deep, and screamed as loud as I could, "Oh my _GOD, _IT'S _FREEZING_!!"

He was laughing when he swam up, and grabbed my shivering sculpture of a body as I made an attempt for the ladder.

"Let me go, I've gotta get out b-b-before my heart s-s-stops!"

"Your heart's not going to stop, Bella."

I was trembling so bad, I was sure my body was translucent and my lips were blue. I latched onto him for dear life and tried to scrounge whatever body heat from him I could, begging him to get me to the ladder.

"Just relax, Bella, your body will adjust."

"I'm gonna get hy-hy-hy... hypothermia!"

"No you're not," he chuckled, rubbing my arms and back vigorously.

"I-I'm gonna...h-have a heart attack!"

"Noooo you won't."

I whimpered, wrapping every shivering limb I had around him, "Please help me."

"Calm down," he snickered, "this isn't the _Titanic_. You're not going to drown. It's probably sixty something degrees in here."

"I highly doubt it!"

"Shhh," he whispered, his warm breath cascading over my iced-ear. "I've got you, please relax. The more you tense up, the worse it will feel."

"This is n-not _sex_," I hissed at him.

"I'm not saying it was, you dirty girl."

"E-Edward, I hate you so much right now."

"Well, I love you no matter what."

I shivered hard, "No you don't. People w-who love each other d-don't throw each other into arctic _climates_."

"Maybe it was an excuse, that way I could give you mouth to mouth?"

"That's not f-f-funny, you stupid, arrogant, cocky man."

"I'm not trying to be one!" he chuckled as he took us in the middle of the pool, where he could stand without us both going under. "But you're making it very difficult."

I dug my fingernails into shoulders, my face quivering into the crook of his neck, "I-I thought this was going to be a _romantic _midnight swim... And what do I get? Torturous blizzard."

"My poor little Bella," he hummed, as he continued to rub my back and shoulders. "You poor little tiny thing... I'm such a... such a _mean _man for letting her, the princess, freeze to death, ...while she's all wrapped up in _my _body heat and this _sixty _degree pool."

"Shut up!"

"See, you're not even trembling as much now."

I growled at him, burying my face back into his neck.

He took that as a sign and remained quiet for a few moments.

I felt my body relax as the seconds flew by, and eventually -- as long as I didn't move too much -- I began to feel better.

"See? ...You're okay," he whispered into my ear.

I continued to wrap around him, pouting against his skin, "That was not a nice thing to do."

"I'm sorry... Once I had the idea inside my head of getting you... all _wet_... I knew I had to take matters into my own hands."

I tried to ignore the sexual innuendo of that statement, but my body reacted differently, and I felt myself press into him more. "Are you satisfied now?"

"Not quite," he smirked, "but I'm getting there."

"Edward!" I slapped the side of his arm, giggling. "You're such a pervert."

"Obviously, you're right there with me, or you wouldn't have thought that."

"Well, it's kind of hard not to be perverted in this fragile state we're both in," I argued, as I felt his hands stroke down the underneath of my thighs.

"How's that?" he whispered back to me, as his thumbs trailed along my knees, which were still hitched to his sides.

"...Because I'm sexually frustrated. I hadn't had any in a while, then you gave me some... then you took it away, and now I want more."

I closed my eyes, regretting how honest I was being. That definitely wouldn't help our arrangement.

"...You don't think I'm sexually frustrated too?"

"No! I'm sure you got it all the time before you and I got together. Plus, guys have it easier, even when they're alone. Ten minutes in the shower, and then it's done."

"Is that so?" he chuckled sarcastically.

"Yes."

"No... Not at all."

"Why's that?"

"Because... why would I settle for second rate masturbation after I've had you?"

I pulled my face out of the warmth of his neck, and tilted my back so I could look at his face. And then I died. Seriously. It wasn't the fact that my hips were smashed into his and my back was arched in a sexual position. His hair, which was wet and glorious, was still spiky, like it had been run through with a towel. He looked angelic in the water, with the reflections of the yellow, blue, and orange lights inside the pool. But there was one thing that did me in... a small little droplet of water, teasing at the top arch of his upper lip. Immediately, my eyes were drawn to it, and I felt jealous of it. Plus, I wanted to lick it off.

"What?" he grinned at me, as he brought his hands down my legs, and up to the small of my back, pushing me into him more.

I shook my head as my heart began to pound through my skin, "N-Nothing."

"What is it?"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head more, "It's... really, nothing."

"Tell me."

I bit my bottom lip and opened my eyes, preparing myself to gasp -- which I did. "You just... look good."

I expected him to smart off to me, as the words fed his ego. I expected him to smirk, or do something to that nature. So when he tilted his head slowly, and blinked, before pushing my back to him and my chest onto his. Then he swiped the hair of mine from my right shoulder, gently pulling out the useless rubber band and letting my hair fall completely down.

I shivered as he pressed his lips into my damp skin, inhaling my scent. With the stars and the moon shining down onto us from the windows above us... And the dim and romantic lights surrounding us... and the cool water, and the way I was wrapped up into him, and how we were so close... almost to the point of joining into one soul... I licked my lips and closed my eyes, as I felt him suck onto my neck. I gripped the back of his hair within my fingers, trying my best not to make a sound, knowing that it'd probably snap him back into friends mode and scare him off.

I felt his warm tongue drag along my skin, all the way up to bottom back of my right ear. My lips parted as I exhaled gently, pushing myself harder onto him. I needed the friction. I needed more. I needed him, and _only _him.

"E-Edward," I gasped as he lightly bit down. I pulled on the tips of his hair, arching my back and shoving my breasts into him. "Don't stop."

He sucked harder, as his thumbs dipped into the back of my bikini bottoms, causing me to tremble.

I locked my feet together behind him, "Mmm, please don't stop."

And, just as I feared, he did.

He gently pulled his face back and looked at me... His red lips parted... His green eyes making me hyperventilate. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," I responded quickly, continuing to hold onto his hair, "I want you to."

"I know... but..." His voice trailed off as he slowly shook his head, "...it may be too soon still."

"No, it's not. Please."

"Bella..." He closed his eyes as he pulled me into the shallow end with him.

"Edward, please tell me you want me."

He smirked, unable to hide himself, "Bella... You're pushed up against me enough to physically _feel _how much I want you."

Once he pinned me against the wall, I reached behind me and tugged on the strings to my bikini top, "Let's just do it, let's skip past the friends part and m-"

He quickly grabbed my hands, as the water dripped down from his arms, around my head, "Stop, Bella."

"No."

"Yes."

"I want you, and you want me too."

"Bella," he said as he pushed my hands away, attempting to tie my strings back up, "it'll make it more complicated."

"No it won't. I want to be with you, forever. Just you."

"How are you so sure?"

I furrowed my brows, pulling his arms back down so I could hold his hands under the water, "I've always been sure. Since the first day I met you, when I was fifteen years old."

"Bella, we were in high school."

"We're here now."

"We had a lot of problems."

"We're working through them."

"We have a lot of people against us."

"Fuck 'em, it's about us."

"We-"

I slapped my hand over his mouth, narrowing my eyes at him, "Stop trying to ruin us, because I won't let you, you stubborn little man."

He exhaled, slumping down toward the water, but I gripped his shoulders, pulling him back up against me.

"Just _listen _to what I'm saying, Edward. Even when you've been the biggest jerk... Like the time you ripped up our biology term paper when we got into that fight at my dad's house freshman year, or when you told me my skirt was too short sophomore year and made me wear your letterman jacket around my waist because your friends were giving you such a hard time about me... Or even after we got back together senior year for that one day, but it was too hard, and then you told me it was over..."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "...Even when we had our darkest moments, Edward... It had _always _been you."

I felt him press his forehead to mine as his hands ventured back to my hips. "...I'm scared, Bella." he whispered weakly.

My heart clenched over as I gripped onto his biceps, "What do you have to be scared of?"

"...Of losing you again."

"You won't."

He kept his voice low and shaky, "How are you so sure?"

"Because I won't let you. I won't go anywhere."

He clenched his eyes, pressing harder against my forehead, "I just keep thinking this is a hallucination or something... Or a dream. But if it isn't a dream... then I fear you're going to wake up one day, realize all the stupid fights we had and all the shit I'd done wrong... and you're going to walk, Bella."

I shook my head, never removing my eyes from his face.

He slowly opened his eyes and continued, "...You'll walk, and you'll take my heart with you. There's no denying the fact... There'd be no way for me to go on after that. I couldn't exist."

"I won't walk, I promise. _You'd _have to be the one to leave _me_."

He smirked, shaking his head, "...I'd never make that mistake twice."

I smiled sincerely at him, "Then we have nothing to worry about."

He closed his eyes again, still feeling unsure with me, "All I want to do is keep you safe. Protect you. I want to make sure you're happy..."

"I _am_. You _are_."

He pressed his face onto my right shoulder, his mouth into the water. I stroked the back of his hair, wishing all his anxiety and tension away. I felt him lift me out of the water, as he sat my dripping body on the side.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh. I want to see something."

I crinkled my forehead, glancing at his glorious figure in the water as he pushed me back on my elbows, and slid between my legs. Immediately, I felt turned on, and taken over by the butterflies again. I watched as his fingers trailed over my body, reaching the string to my bottoms over my right hip bone. I kept trying to maintain a steady rhythm in my chest, but it was hopeless. He pulled it apart on that side, and I closed my eyes.

"W-What are you doing Edward?" I whispered.

"Shh..."

I forced myself to re-open my eyes as I watched him fold the corner of my bikini down, revealing my tattoo that was hidden beneath it, between my hip bone and pelvic area. It was tiny, about the size of a quarter or so, and all black... A little tribal, but feminine. Simple, but not. My style.

"I love this," he whispered as he ran his finger along the ink lines, "it's intricate."

"Thank you," I panted as my body began to tremble against his touch.

"It's a swan, right?"

"Mmmhmm," I nodded as I watched his finger, "I designed it myself, and Colleen drew it up for me."

"When did you get it?"

"Uh... um..." I cleared my throat, trying to focus on my words instead of his finger, "on my twenty-first birthday."

"Does it symbolize anything significant for you, besides the name?"

"Uh, well I wanted to pick something that explained where I was at in that period of my life. I was beginning to learn what I wanted to do, about who I wanted to be... I was coming into my own as a woman..."

"So you were turning into the swan..."

"Metaphorically, yes. I still think I'm in that between stage."

"No... You're there."

I licked my lips as I watched him pull his soaked body up onto his forearms, leaning over me while his lower half remained in the water. Tiny cold droplets dripped from his frame onto my trembling body, as he lowered his face down, and kissed that sensitive spot where the swan rested on me. I closed my eyes, allowing my head to drop back, as the sensations from his warm and soft lips pressed into me.

"It's sweet," he whispered as he ran his nose along it, "...and sexy..."

"Mmhmm," I nodded feeling like my body reactions were close to matching the quantity of water in the pool.

"...It's perfect."

"Thanks," I said. This was _torture_.

He pressed his lips back against it, and I felt my nails drag into the cement.

"Mmm, how come every part of you smells like cinnamon and strawberries?" he whispered seductively.

"I... have no idea," I exhaled.

"I love this smell... it's irreplaceable."

I nodded, unable to respond.

I felt him dip me back into the water, after he retied my bikini string.

Once we were both in, he pulled away gently, and departed from my body, swimming backward.

"Where are you going?" I pouted as I started to swim after him.

"No, stay there. We need some distance for a second."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Why?"

"Because we need to address some issues."

"Edward, we talk every day."

He got to the other side of the pool, and leaned against the wall there, running his fingers through his wet, spiky hair. "Let's talk about the subjects we're afraid to talk about."

Immediately, I tensed up, and he saw it.

"See?" he smirked, "We need to talk about it, Bella. Get it out of the way."

"Fine," I growled at him, "But only if you edge back over here as time passes. That's the only way I'll do it."

"Deal," he nodded. "You go first. Ask me anything."

I sucked in my top lip in thought. Where to begin? Oh yeah. "Uh, okay. If we're doing this, then I'm going to ask... Before you and Tanya hooked up at Charlie's, were you attracted to her?"

He pursed his lips, "I think there was always a bit of an attraction, I suppose. I mean, I didn't _want _her, if that's what you were asking... but I did think she was pretty, in her own way. But she was no Bella."

I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "But she wanted you, Edward. From day one. And I knew it... everyone did but you..."

"I never cared about anyone else but you, Bella. Call it oblivious, or whatever you will, but all I could see was you."

I frowned. "Then why did you do it? Was me kissing Jacob the only reason you really did it?"

"It was the second time you kissed Jacob," he corrected, "and the first time was a few years before that. So I let my brain start turning wheels, and I thought... well, she told me in the beginning, the first time, and I caught them three and a half years later... Then I started putting together all the times you'd go and hang out with him over me, or all the times he'd stay over at your parent's house... and I began to assume things without asking you about them, and... I let everything get the best of me..."

"So you just thought you'd... get _even _with me?" I furrowed my brows.

"Tanya came up to me about an hour before, when you and I were avoiding each other at the party. She started to tell me how she heard from her boyfriend Mark, because Emmett told him, and he told her... She said Mark cheated on her too, with Amber, which she couldn't stand. She said she knew about all the thoughts I was dealing with, all the what-if's. We were drinking and got to talking... and she asked me something, and I couldn't lie to her."

I bit my lip, preparing for the worst, "What did she ask you?"

He sighed, keeping his eyes on mine, "She asked me... if I ever thought about getting even with you."

"And... you said yes." It wasn't a question. I knew better.

"I'm human, Bella. I was angry, and heartbroken. Of course I thought about it."

"So how did you two get in the bathroom?"

"She grabbed my hand and said she couldn't hear me talking over the music, and I followed her. We were just going to sit on the top of the steps... and then when we got up there, she literally shoved me into the wall and kissed me..."

He shook his head, looking toward the water, "...and I felt disgusted for letting her do it. I didn't kiss back at first, just sort of... let her do what she wanted to my lips... and then the wheels in my head began again, and flashes of you and Jake hit... and I just lashed out on her. I was pretty aggressive with her. I was the one to jerk her into the bathroom. I was pretty rude to her, calling her all the names in the book and just... I was a _dick_. But Tanya... all she kept saying was, 'Get it all out, Edward, just let it all go. Call me whatever you want, but get all your anger out, it hurts too much to keep it in you, I know.'..."

I felt my eyes watering, but I quickly calmed myself, "Go on please."

He exhaled deeply, his face looking tortured, "...I was really drunk, Bella. We're talking... _smashed_. She kept encouraging me, so I just... caved into her. But it wasn't some sort of romantic affair at all, it was hostile. That's why I didn't hear you when you came in, my ears were like... plugged. I was seeing red. It was pretty fucking bad. I'm thankful that you did walk in when you did, because... I just don't know what I would have done."

I swallowed hard, "You know, when you chased me down the stairs and tried to pin me up against the wall in order to stop me, all I wanted to do was call you a hypocrite."

"I know," he answered hoarsely.

We were silent for a few minutes.

Then he said, "Did you really not kiss Jake, either time he did it?"

"I _did _kiss him the first time, Edward. But I was fifteen, and had all that pressure from Charlie and Billy... And that's why I told you, because I immediately understood that it wasn't him I wanted. And the second time, we were just talking, and... it happened."

"_What _happened?"

I focused on the dim yellow light on his side of the pool, "I guess I encouraged him a bit. There had been several times when he'd hold my hand or try to comfort me... like when you and I had our disagreements... Jacob was always there, and I wanted him to be there... I wanted _someone _there, you know? Someone who cared for me... That day that it happened... we were talking and I told him..."

My voice trailed off as I looked back to Edward, "I told him I wanted to marry you. That I'd marry you that very second... and he didn't like that answer. He said I was too young, that all I knew was you, and how could I possibly know what I wanted when I didn't have any other options? So he sort of broke me down, talking about how when people our age got married, it'd hardly ever work out... How we'd fall out of love quickly, and how everything would be over... And when I started crying, he came over and hugged me, and he held me for so long... I remember feeling how warm he was... and he just... Jacob took advantage of it. He smashed his face to mine and started gripping a hold of my skin on my back, and shoving me up against him... I never kissed back, even when he tried to stick his tongue in my mouth. And then you walked in."

He chewed on the inside of his cheek for a few seconds, staring into my eyes in silence.

"Can I ask you another question about Tanya?"

"Sure."

"...Why did you stay with her?"

"Well," he exhaled, "what bothers me is, everyone thinks that Tanya and I were together since you and I split up for good. That isn't true. She came around for a while after you and I broke up, and it was just friends at first... And when you told me to go fuck myself, I basically just... About a month later, I said fuck it, and I hooked up with her. After that, when I started college, I began dating a few girls, and was hooking up with her and another girl, which I told you about. That didn't last long, because nothing I did seemed to ease my heartache from you. I began to take pills, smoke weed... I got drunk all the time... I did whatever I could to numb the pain. But Tanya and I didn't hook up all the time. I had other girlfriends eventually, or went out on dates... she didn't come around. Every once in a great while, we'd meet up and hook up, and then we'd go our separate ways. She kept trying to date me, but I didn't want her. Then we went almost a year without seeing each other at all, not even talking on the phone. Only a few months before we came here, did we start back up again."

"I sort of... thought she was always around."

"Most people did."

I inhaled, "Well that makes me feel better, honestly."

He shook his head but a smile started to form on his lips, "I'm glad."

"W-Why didn't you end up dating Bryan?"

"Bryan was a sweet girl, I love her to death. We were attracted to each other, but our timing was never right. We'd talk on the phone and make plans to go out, but they always fell through. Eventually, we began to hang out for about a month between school and whatnot... I asked her out on a date, and we went, and it was nice. A few weeks later, we managed to squeeze in another date... went for a movie... which you heard about, and... Though we liked each other, it just... We never would have made it work. We were too focused on our schooling and lives."

"Do you think she still likes you?"

"Bryan likes to flirt. She's flirtatious by nature, just as I am. And she's pretty... but we've got our eyes on other people. We're friends."

"So you don't think she'd leave Jacob for you if you snapped your fingers?"

He shook his head, "Never."

"Good."

"Did you ever hook up with Jacob... after everything?"

"We got real drunk once, and got to second base before we both quickly decided there was no chemistry at all. I mean, none. After everything... it was a dud. So we quickly retreated. We spent the rest of the night sharing a toilet to throw up in, instead of a bed to have sex in."

He chuckled, "Thanks for that pleasant image."

"You're welcome," I giggled.

He swam a few feet closer to me, almost to the middle of the pool. "I remember when you broke up with me. Right after everything. You almost pushed me down the steps at Charlie's house."

"I was angry!"

"You about broke my neck!"

"I just wanted you out of the house, I was so disgusted at that time."

He nodded, dipping almost all the way under the water, but keeping his head out, "Remember when we tried to get back together after that?"

I nodded, "Yep. You kept begging and begging me, so I said we'd try it... but then we got to school and had to face everyone's comments..."

"I wish I would have never said we wouldn't work out," he said. "That was stupid on my part."

"Yeah it was," I said, "because you tried so hard to get back together. And then one day after we did... it was over, by your call. Then at graduation, I saw Tanya on your back..."

"She jumped there!"

"Still, it grossed me out."

"So that was why, when I tried to talk to you after, you told me to go fuck myself?"

"Precisely."

He nodded and took a deep breath, "Bella, I really am sorry for Tanya."

"I really am sorry for Jacob."

He swam closer, causing my heart to speed up like I was taking crack. "So what do we do now?"

I grinned, swimming out to him, in order to close the gap of water, "What do you want to do?"

He grabbed my hips when I got close enough, and pulled me the rest of the way, "Well... there is something I've always wanted to do with you..."

"Oh yeah?" I replied shakily, "...What's that?"

He jerked me to him, as his fingers wound all the way around my hips, "I've wanted..." he whispered as my lips edged closer, "to..."

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice a bare whisper.

"...to..." he grinned, "...dunk you."

Before I could scream, he yanked me under the water.

I swam around, pushing him backward, but as I tried to get back to the top, he grabbed my leg, pulling me back down.

We spun around in a circle, pushing and pulling on each other, before coming back up for air.

I jumped at him, grasping his shoulders and pulling myself up so I could shove him back under.

He laughed as he went down, and right when I thought I was winning, I felt his hands wind around my ankles. Before I could protest or get away, he threw me up high, out of the water and flying toward the deep end. I gasped as I went under again, and tried to swim after him. As soon as I caught him, I felt him grab my inner thigh on my right leg, while his other hand touched my stomach.

Then he lifted me up over his head, out of the water.

"Oh, you're gonna get it!" he shouted as I dripped water on him.

I tried to scratch his arms to get away, but he just laughed it off, before launching me back toward the deep end.

Before he could get to me, I climbed up the ladder and ran around, until I hit the diving board. He grinned as he waited for me to jump from the deep end.

"I'm going to jump on you!" I shouted.

"Do it," he chuckled as he dared me.

I bit my lip and jumped in, and I watched him sink himself under before I hit the water.

Again, he yanked me under and I quickly wrapped my legs around his, so he couldn't swim away. He pulled me up, my legs sticking, until they were around his waist.

I gasped for air when we surfaced, but he kept a hold of me, until we safely reached the shallow end again.

"I got water up my nose," I choked as I rubbed it.

He laughed, patting my back as I coughed it up. "Are you okay?"

"No, it's burning," I said.

He swam us over to the wall, handing me my beer, which I chugged down. He grinned, doing the same with his. After we finished, I sank down to him, my chest smashing against his.

"All better?"

I shrugged, wrapping my arms beneath his and around his back, "My nose hurts."

"I'm sorry," he replied, kissing the tip of it. "Mean chlorine."

"I know," I pouted, setting my head on his shoulder as we bobbed in the water.

"You're getting tired, aren't you?"

I shrugged, gripping him tighter, "I don't want the night to end."

I felt him lift himself out of the pool, dripping all over me as he rose to his feet.

Carefully, I opened my eyes, to find him holding out his hand to me.

I took it and allowed him to pull me out. I climbed to my feet, as he pulled me toward the tiny shower at the end of the room.

We rinsed the chlorine off quickly, since that water was cold too.

I was thankful when he wrapped the towel around me quickly. I was freezing again!

"What are we doing?"

"We're going upstairs." He held out his hand to me, after he wrapped the towel around his waist.

I said nothing as he pulled me around the cabin and up the two flights of steps, down the hallway, and into my room.

He closed the door behind me and gripped my towel, slowly reeling me into him.

I slid my hands up his arms, gripping around his elbows, "What are we doing?"

"Nothing," he whispered softly, "...I just want to hug you."

My heart melted as he pulled me into his arms, squeezing me firmly, but not roughly.

I wrapped my arms over his, my palms against his back as we held each other.

Then I winced.

Edward pulled away quickly, his hands on my face, "Bella?"

"I have something in my eye," I pouted as I blinked my watery, right one, "Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!"

He lifted my face as I hissed and squinted and whined, "Shh, let me see it."

"I can't, it hurts."

His voice remained soothing, "Bella, we've got to get it out hun. Relax.... Open it."

I shook my head as my eye felt like it clamped shut, "It hurts! It's like burning!"

Edward leaned forward, his fingers gently opening my fire eye so he could lightly blow air into it.

"What is it?" I whined as my hands dug into his biceps.

"It's an eyelash," he whispered as he drug us toward the light in the bathroom, "hold still please."

I bit my lip as he held my face in his left hand, and searched the drawer with his right, "I know we have some visene in here somewhere."

"Is it a _big _eyelash?" The thing felt like it was as big as a Buick.

"No," he smiled as he twisted back around to face me, "open up again."

My eye was watering so bad at this point, I felt as if it could seal shut.

Edward carefully pried it open with his warm fingers and placed a few liquid drops in my eye.

It burned like a bitch, and I hopped up and down lightly while he continued to calmly flush the foreign object out.

"There you go," he said with a smile as his index finger brushed the lash off my cheek, "it's all out now."

He blew in it a few more times until it stopped watering, and I loosened up my grip on him.

"How is it?" I asked, my voice still a little delicate.

My favorite crooked smile took residence on his face, "Beautiful."

Edward hummed while he wiped the dampness from my face with his hands, then leaned in and kissed my eyelid a warm, delicate time, lingering there for a moment, "Better now?"

"Much," I sighed as I wrapped my arms around him, "thank you so much."

"You're welcome."

We hugged in the bathroom for a long while, just breathing in each other's scent and absorbing the warmth.

I never wanted to let go.

"You're one of my best friends now, Bella," he whispered into my hair, "no matter what."

I fluttered my eyes closed, burying my face into his shoulder, "You're one of mine too."

"I'm glad we've decided to take things slow."

I smiled against his skin, "Me too."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I woke up, finding my arms were still wrapped around Bella's, and my face was buried against the nape of her neck.

I inhaled the scent on her skin, rubbing my nose along her shoulder.

Then I felt her squirm, as her hands gripped my arms.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked hoarsely.

"Thirty minutes or so," she replied.

"You could have woken me up, I would have released you."

"Maybe I didn't want to be released."

I buried my face back against her neck, "You're so warm."

"Thanks," she giggled.

I hummed and nuzzled against her, pushing myself all the way up until there was no room left.

"It's raining outside," she whispered.

I lifted my head up, looking out to the tall window, watching the fat droplets stick on the glass. "That's going to be a pain if it freezes over."

"I know," she frowned.

"Knock knock!" Rosalie came in, and I immediately felt my defense mechanism kick in as she glared at us. "Oh. Sorry. Was I _interrupting _anything?"

I eyed her down, before dropping my head to the pillow.

"What's up Rose?" Bella asked, not moving an inch from me.

"I wanted to see what you were doing. I thought we could spend some time together, maybe to the mall with the girls? Get out of the cabin?"

She sighed, pulling my arms tighter around her little body, "Sure. I'll be downstairs in fifteen."

"Hurry up, most of us are ready."

"I'll be down there in a few, Rose."

As Rosalie left, Bella twisted her body around, until she was facing me. I pulled her into me, burying my face into her collar bone.

"This may sound really...pathetic," she whispered into my hair, "...but I don't want to leave without you."

I smiled against her skin as my thumbs traced along the small of her back, beneath her tank top, "I'll miss you too, Bella."

"What are you going to do?"

"Spend time with the guys, I guess," I shrugged, inhaling the strawberries and cinnamon.

"Doing what? Getting drunk, playing video games..." she offered.

I chuckled, as she threw her leg over mine, "Yes, most likely."

"Are you going to smoke?"

"Smoke?"

"Yeah."

"As in cigarettes?"

"No..."

I shrugged, "I don't know. Why do you ask?"

"Just wondering."

"Bella..."

"I was just _wondering_," she giggled, "no big deal."

"Mmm kay."

She kissed my forehead before pulling herself away from me, "I promise."

She ran into the bathroom, turning on the shower water, "Oh, shit."

"What?"

"I forgot, I needed to do a load of towels. We don't have any."

"I just used that one last night, before we went to bed. You can use it, it's hanging behind the door."

"Thanks, Edward."

As soon as she closed the bathroom door, I threw the covers over my head.

I heard the door open and giggles. "Hello, Alice, Bryan, and Charlee."

"How did you know it was us?" Alice asked, ripping the covers off my head.

"Because you three are like a giggling fucking trio."

"Why aren't you naked?" Charlee asked, checking out my black t-shirt and green pajama pants.

"Because I have no reason to be naked."

"Ugh, you two _still _aren't together?" Bryan pouted. "What the fuck, Edward?"

"Blow me."

"She already did," Alice giggled.

I shot her a pointed glance.

"Maybe that's your problem," Charlee offered.

"What's my problem?"

"You're saying sexual favors to the wrong girl. I'm sure Bella-"

I cut her off, "Guys, please stay out of it."

"Just get over yourself and ask her."

I glanced at Alice, "Since when did you become back on Team Bella?"

"Since..." She shrugged, picking at the covers, "...Jasper and I talked about it last night."

I lifted an eyebrow, tucking my right hand under my head.

She groaned, "Jasper and I had a long talk, and we decided that... there was no reason for us to dislike you two getting back together. We were all in the wrong, we agree with what you said. So... as long as Jazz and I are happy, then we should be happy for the two of you too."

"You owe Bella one hell of an apology before I'll ever take your word for it," I glared at her.

"I know. That's why I suggested shopping."

"And you better fucking mean it, _Alice_."

"I _do_, Edward. I swear. Scouts honor," she replied, holding her fingers up in the motion.

I gave her a nod, stretching in the bed.

We continued our conversation, and then Bella walked out with my towel wrapped around her, with her hair wet.

She skidded to a stop, "Oh, I didn't know anyone else was in here."

"Do you need us to get out, give you some privacy?" I asked her.

"No, no, you're fine," she quickly headed toward the dresser, pulling out some pink lace panties which stopped my heart, and a matching bra. I stared at them observantly, while she finished pulling out the rest of her clothes. Then she scurried back into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind her. While she finished getting dressed, I forced the girls to get up and follow me down the steps.

Most of everyone was awake. I plopped down on the couch and grabbed the remote, turning it on MSNBC. Jasper sat down in the rocking chair with a bowl of cereal, watching it with me. Jacob was on the far end of the couch, talking on his cell phone, while Emmett was tossing a football in the air, while a fruit roll up dangled from his mouth.

After a few minutes, Bella came trotting down the stairs, wearing fitted black jeans, a white tank top that flowed out past her hips, and white boots. She looked so good. I grinned at her, as I chewed on a banana. I watched as she giggled, before giving her sister a hug. Rosalie brushed her hair with her fingers, before grabbing their jackets, "Let's go girls!"

All seven girls started to throw on their cute little jackets, while Bella ran over to me.

She jumped on my lap in a straddle position, causing me to both wince and chuckle. "Are you going to miss me?"

"Of course," I replied as I gave her a hug.

"Are you going to get dressed sometime today?" she teased.

"Fuck straight he is," Emmett scoffed. "We're playing mud football today."

"What?" I asked him, "It's fucking cold outside."

"Get over it, you pussified bitch. We've got jackets. Most of the snow is melted."

I groaned at both that thought, and the fact that Bella gripped my shoulders and arched her back, pushing her lower half hard against me.

I glared at her. "That's not nice."

"What?" she replied with a knowing smile, doing it again.

"Bella, please..." I chuckled, gripping her hips, "I hate you right now."

She gave me a kiss on my cheek, before climbing to her feet, "I'll see you later. Have fun getting dirty."

Then she took the rest of my banana and popped a piece of in her mouth, before giving me a wink.

All I could do was smirk at her.

Rosalie grabbed Emmett's keys, and gave him a hug, "I swear on my life, I will not wreck it this time."

Emmett slapped her ass really hard, grabbing a handful of her left cheek while she kissed him, "I've still got insurance, I'm not worried. Just be safe."

After the girls filed out, Emmett launched the ball at me, hitting me square in the chest. "Get the fuck up, we're playing."

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

Once we arrived at the mall and began to walk around, Bella jerked me to her, stopping me from walking into the store with the rest of the girls.

"We need to talk."

I furrowed my brows at her, as she pulled me to the nearest bench seat by the tree, "About?"

"Are you and Emmett having sex?"

"What?" I scoffed at her, moving back.

"You heard me."

I shook my head, "No, we haven't."

"But you've done other stuff."

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me, Rosalie?!"

"Because you have your head up Edward's ass all the time."

"Rose."

"You do! Plus... I don't know, I guess I was embarrassed."

"Why on earth would you have to be embarrassed around me? _Me_, for crying out loud. _I'm _the one who's always the clumsy one, the person with all the horrible stories..."

I giggled at her, "Because, I mean, nothing like that had ever happened to me before."

Bella arched her brow, "Nothing like what?"

"Like... we _couldn't _have sex. It hurt too much."

"That's normal sometimes."

"No, sissy," I shook my head, "not for me. I mean, come on, everyone here knows I've had my fair share of boyfriends... That I've been with people. My reputation is pretty abundant. But... Yeah, with Emmett... it hurt."

"Is he _that _big?"

I giggled, "Yeah, he really is, but I don't think that was the problem..."

"Then what is?"

"Are you guys coming in?"

Bella looked over to Colleen, "We're skipping this store, you go on." Then she turned to me, "What's going on, Rose?"

I sighed, looking down to my hands, "I love him."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... I've never been with anyone I was actually in love with, especially someone who loved me the same way. Now, I am... So I wanted it all to be perfect, and he was so patient with me Bella, so romantic and sweet and adorable, he even lit all these candles for us around the room... But I was so scared that I wouldn't be good enough, and I tensed all up and I focused too much on that... and I couldn't relax, no matter _what _he did to me. It was awful."

"Oh, Rose," she giggled as she hugged me, "You were just too nervous."

"There's more."

"Okay..."

I took a deep breath, "I sort of..." I threw my face into my hands. I really didn't want to say this out loud.

"What?"

I took another deep breath, holding it this time, "I sort of... bit him... there."

Bella pulled her lips into a thin line, to keep from giggling. "Bit him?"

"Yeah," I frowned.

"What did he do?"

"He said, _'Uh...Ouch', _and then he just gently moved me away from him. I swear, Bella, I was awful. I'm surprised he wanted to continue to try and have sex with me after that... and like I said, he was so patient and loving, and even when it didn't work out, he just... he comforted me and let me cry."

"Well, it sounds to me like Emmett is a winner, sis. If he's still sticking around, then he really does love you."

I nodded, "Yeah, I guess so."

"Just give it some time. It'll happen when it's mean to."

I looked up at her, zoning in on her eyes... and they looked so... filled. "You seem so happy lately, Bella."

She grinned, "I am."

"You seem really confident today as well."

"Thanks. I feel good."

I bit my lip, looking at the ground as people passed us by, "Edward?"

"Yeah," she whispered, "I really think so."

I looked over to her, taking a deep breath, "You really love him, don't you Bella?"

"Yes. More than anyone could imagine."

I nodded, looking away from her again, "You know I have difficulty supporting this, because of how down you were at one time."

"I know Rose, and I won't push it on you anymore than I feel you can take. But you need to know... I am happier these past two weeks, than I have been in years. Edward... he just... I don't know, it's as if he's completed all the empty space in my life. Things I didn't even know I lacked, he found again. He sees right through my soul, Rosalie. He makes me so happy."

"I don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. I honestly don't think that Edward and I will go down that path again."

"And you're sure of this?"

"Well, in all honesty, we can't say we're sure of anything. But we're putting the time to make it work. We've become friends, we're learning about each other... It's really good. It's kind of funny, because I am sitting here with you, and I'm having fun and liking being with the girls, but... I miss him. I find myself wondering about him and wondering-"

Her voice cut off as "Debussy" by Claire De Lune came on, "Oh my gosh, it's him!" She grinned as she picked up her phone. She read her text message in silence, grinning at the screen as she responded to him.

"What did he say?" I asked hesitantly.

"He asked me if I was having fun, and said to tell all the girls he said hello..." Her voice trailed off as she hit sent and looked up at me, her eyes shining bright, "Edward says hello, Rose."

I giggled, couldn't help it. "Tell him I say hello too."

Her smile widened as she noticed I didn't roll my eyes. Then she quickly texted him my response. "So, does this mean you support us?"

"Not quite," I answered quickly, "it just means... I'm not completely against it now. I'm Switzerland, I guess. Staying neutral, and I'll watch for awhile to see how it pans out."

"Well, that's a start," she says as she jumps to her feet and pulls me up with her.

"But," I said, jerking her over to me, "don't expect Jacob to transfer over to Team Bellward so quickly."

"I don't," she said, "but it's nice to know that you're not against it. I really would love to have my sister around, so I could tell her things about my life without having to sensor anything."

I gave her a hug, pulling her into the store, "Well, I'm always here for you, regardless. Even if I don't like the decisions you're making."

"Same for you. Now let's go shop!"

* * *

**JacobPOV**

Through the freezing rain and sleet, I bent down, gripping my knees with my hands as I eyed the fucker down.

The seven of us in the cabin, plus Emmett's friend Brad from a few houses down, split up in two teams playing football... but Edward and I have gone at it this entire time.

It was originally supposed to be touch football, but I was having none of that.

I wanted to fucking cream him, smash all his bones... prove to him that not everyone needed to kiss his self-proclaimed, glorified ass.

We were all soaking wet, cold, with mud up to our elbows.

But I had one goal, and I wasn't going inside until I completed it: I wanted to show him that I was not going to support him with my friend.

The only way he'd have my support was if he killed me.

"Hut, hut, hike!"

I charged for him as soon as Makin snapped the ball to him, and hit him square in the shoulders, knocking him down as quickly as possible.

He laid there for a second, holding the football, as the guys ran and pushed me backward.

"Touch dammit!" Emmett hissed at me, "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"It's fine," Edward said as he climbed back up to his feet, giving me a grin, "It's fine, Em. Jacob's really into the game, that's all."

I gave him a sarcastic nod before turning away.

Ten minutes later, I did it again, this time my shoulder made impact with his stomach.

It took a few seconds before I knocked him down this time.

Again, he calmed all the guys down when they jumped my ass.

And again, I gave him a sarcastic expression before turning away.

The last time I went to miss him, he dodged me and spun around, grabbing the back of my neck.

Before I could blink, I was down on the ground, with my face in a mud puddle.

"Listen the fuck up, Black," he hissed at me, as I tried to get up, "You better knock the shit off now. I'm lenient the first few times, but then that's it. Don't test my patience, _bitch_."

Then, as he released me, he pushed my face into the mud.

That was all it took for me.

I got up and charged after him, knocking him down into the mud.

We started throwing punches at each other's faces, my third one making contact over his right eye, while his second one made contact with my nose and lip.

But we were quickly pulled apart from each other.

It took about three guys on the both of us to get us to separate.

I couldn't even make out what they were all shouting, as Edward and I glared at each other as we were being dragged away on our asses, through the grass and mud and cold.

Once I got jerked a good thirty feet away, almost down by the lake, Jasper kneeled over me while Makin and Paul held me down by my shoulders.

"What the fuck is _wrong _with you, Jacob? Why do you have to start shit all the time?"

I glared at Jasper, "That fucking pussy deserves it! Not everyone has to bow at his feet all the fucking time!"

"When has Edward ever mentioned that he wanted everyone to bow at his feet?" Paul hissed, "All we were doing was playing a game."

"That dick knows I cannot stand him, I haven't since day one."

"You're going to have to fucking get over it," Makin shouted. "Be a man."

"When the fuck did you all decide to suck Edward's dick? Does he have you all brainwashed?"

"Edward hasn't done shit to us," Paul shouted, "he's chill."

"Bullshit!" I spat as I glared over to Jasper, "He fucked _your _girl, didn't he?"

He glared at me for a moment, "That's for me to handle, Jacob, not you."

"Apparently you don't know _how _to handle it, Jasper. You're being a bitch about it. You need to man up and put him in his place!"

"What would that _solve_, Jacob? Bella made her decision, regardless if I start a fight with him. Besides, Bella was my girlfriend, and Edward was single."

"He knew better."

"It doesn't fucking matter, Jacob. They made their decision, and they've got enough people on their backs about it, enough people against them."

"That's because you're being a bitch, Jasper!"

"No, it's because I'm being _smart_," he glared at me, "and mature about it. I've talked with Bella, on my own time, and she knows how I feel. But I'm over it. What the fuck do you have to do with any of this, anyway? It's not like Bella cheated on _you_."

"Because you were my friend, _remember_?" I said as I jerked away from the guys and stood up, shoving Jasper back on his chest, "I stood up for _you_! For three years, _I _stood up for _you_. I defended you, I told Bella you were worth it, and that you were _good _for her. _I _was the one always encouraging her."

"And I've thanked you for that, Jacob," he said, "but you need to let me handle my own business. Stop pissing off Cullen, because I'm telling you man, that guy can only handle so much before he snaps."

"I'm not scared of him!"

"We didn't say you _were_," Makin objected, "but... How do you really think Bella is going to react when she finds out about this? You, her brother practically, starting shit with that man that she loves? You're going to break her heart."

"Edward broke her heart, that's why I cannot stand him!"

"Bella is a fucking WOMAN!" Jasper said, jerking me to him by my shirt, "She's _grown_, Jacob! No matter how many promises you made to her dad, you can't _always _protect her. ...If you overshadow her, she's going to rebel and push further away from you. You need to back down before you lose her in your life. I know she loves you, but I know she'll choose Edward. Think about it, Jacob. She won't put _anyone _over him."

I glared at him, my chest heaving against his fists as he continued to grip my shirt, "You're right. She'll choose him... and when she's lost all her friends, and he fucks her over again, she'll have no one to run to. Because I won't fucking be there for her then."

"_You're _going to have to make that decision," Paul said as he stood next to Jasper, "but I'd think about it if I were you. You're a strong person, we all know that. And you're fucking smart. So you should be able to put up with Edward in her life, than lose Bella in yours."

I shook my head, eyeing the three of them down, "He's got you all fucking brain washed. All of you."

"No, Jacob," Paul said as he thrusted his finger at me, "Edward has never pushed any of us to be on his side. But we're all old enough to recognize when it's our business to intervene, and when it's time to stay out of it. But the more and more you _push _him, the more you're going to drive him straight _to _her. And he'll do it, just to piss you off. And that's not going to make anything easier, on anyone. So just chill the fuck out."

* * *

**AlicePOV**

After a few hours of shopping, I decided it was now or never.

The day has been pretty fun, and Bella and I would smile at each other on occasion.

We even purchased similar handbags at Gucci.

I walked over to her as the girls headed into Claire's, and I gently tugged on her elbow, "Hey Bella, can we talk?"

She looked at me awkwardly, before shrugging nonchalantly.

I walked ahead, taking her to a small table at the end of the food court.

I hesitated to speak, and could feel her eyes burning into mine. She knew what was coming.

"Bella, I owe you an apology."

"Just one?" she replied hostile.

I grimaced, staring at the salt shaker in the middle of the table, "A few, I guess."

She was silent, not responding.

After a minute of silence, I looked up at her.

"I'm waiting," she said.

I took a deep breath, "I'm sorry for... being so rude with you about Edward, and Jasper. I'm sorry that I was so quick to push you away, and for being so violent with my actions. I just..."

My voice trailed off as I looked her in the eye, trying to read her expression, "I was shocked, Bella. I didn't expect those actions from you. You were always the sweet one, the nice one... I never expected you to go and cheat on anyone, especially someone as nice as Jasper."

"But you were _hoping _for it, right?" she said abruptly, "You were secretly wishing I would, so Jasper would be cut loose?"

I looked at her, taking a deep breath. Then I nodded in silence.

"That's what I thought," she replied as she exhaled, "Look Alice, here's the thing. Maybe I've been nice for too long, with everyone... I think I've spent too much time worrying about what other people will think or how they'll react if I do or say certain things, and quite frankly, I'm _sick _of being something I'm not. I'm sick of acting so innocent and shy, I'm sick of putting on this facade to _please _everyone. I'm not like this in school. If someone hurts me or threatens me, I fight back. But with you, I didn't want to do that, because I _cared _about you. We've known each other for too long to fight like this. We're not in high school anymore, Alice."

I nodded, swallowing hard, "I know."

"And besides, _you _were the one who told me the day of the accident that Edward wanted me, and you saw it. You kept bringing it up too. _You _defended me with Tanya. I thought you supported Edward and I getting back together, but-"

I cut her off, keeping my voice calm, "I _did _support you two, because I wanted to keep my best friend happy. But then, when you cheated on Jasper, all I could think about was how you cheated on Edward with Jacob and how this seemed to be a routine, and I thought about the time he almost overdosed on drugs because he was so heartbroken over you... I didn't want you cheating on him, too."

"I wouldn't do that, Alice."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because I _love _Edward. All I ever wanted to do was be with him."

"How do you know it will work?"

She groaned, running her hands through her hair as she muttered, "Why does _everyone _keep _asking _that?" under her breath.

"Because... we're all worried for you two."

She rounded her shoulders, keeping her voice stern and strong, "Well, we're grown ups now. We don't _need _little extra mommies and daddies running around, patting our backs and picking up our toys. We _know _how low we sunk, we _know _how bad it got... but guess what? We're still _here_, we're still _trying_, and we still wantto be together. _Despite _all of that."

I started to speak, but she quickly cut me off, "And I realize that you may have witnessed Edward's low point, just as Rose and Jacob witnessed mine... but _you _and theyweren't the ones that _felt _it. Edward and I were. _We _were the ones actually dealing with that heartache, that pain, that loneliness... but we're _here_."

I nodded, feeling my heart clench as she continued still, "And he looks at me like he _needs _me, Alice... Like sometimes, he just holds me in his arms and doesn't say anything at all, but he'll put his forehead to mine and smile at me... and I just _feel _it. That _need_, that _want_... That _security_. I get nervous every single time he's around me, all this butterflies and antsy stuff. And I'm twenty-two years old! But like... If we're in the living room watching television, and he gets up to go get a soda or something -- he can be in the next room over, and I swear to you, I _miss _him. I _hate _being away from him. I hate feeling so anxious when he's not around. But I _do_. And it's not a,_ oh she's using him for his money _or any of that nonsense. That love, that want -- It's mutual. I can tell, he feels just as secure _with _me, and just as lonely _without _me. We're so alike. We _want _to be together, and we _will _be, regardless."

She stopped speaking so she could zone in on my eyes, "But it'd be really, really nice if we could have some fucking _support _behind us."

I couldn't move.

I never heard Bella be so strong, so independent like this.

I've never witnessed her defend herself so... forcefully.

"I... don't know what to say," I whispered, "other than I'm sorry."

She nodded, and we sat in silence for a few moments.

"Edward really loves you, Alice," she said after awhile. "He talks about you all the time. And when he does, this light shines in his eyes. It's as if he's created this whole new smile, just for you-"

"I've thought the same thing about you," I chuckled. "He lights up when he talks about you too."

"That's because we're his two women that he has in his life," she said. "We're the ones he admires, the ones he wants around. And here we are, bickering like we're in second grade."

"I know," I nodded in agreement, "it isn't right."

"It _isn't _right," she said calmly, "and we need to stop."

"I know," I agreed again. "...Will you accept my apology?"

She thought for a few agonizing minutes, strumming her fingers on the table, "Only if you'll accept mine."

I nodded, and we both stood up. By the time we reached each other, we were all smiles, like we used to be, and we hugged it out.

"And," she whispered into my ear as she squeezed me tighter, "I really _am _happy Jasper chose you. I think you two are adorable together."

I grinned, before pulling away, "Thank you for saying that Bella."

"Well I meant it."

"Are you two lovebirds done yet?" Colleen asked, and we turned to find her with her hand on her hip, while the other girls were standing behind her, grinning at us.

"Hold your horses, we're making up here," Bella joked with her before hugging me again. "You love me Alice?"

"Yes," I giggled, "You love me?"

"Yes."

"No more fighting over these stupid boys?" I asked.

She shook her head and grinned at me, "No more."

"Good," I said as we headed toward the girls, "because I'm starving. Let's go get ice cream sundaes!"

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I looked over to my right, throwing a baseball up in the air as I glanced at the clock. It was almost seven-thirty.

I didn't expect the girls to be out that late.

Sighing loudly in boredom, I tossed the ball up again.

Emmett opened Bella's bedroom door without knocking, and sat beside me on her bed, while I continued to lie down.

"How's the eye?"

"How's his fucking face?" I sneered at him as I avoided the question.

"Pretty bruised up," he chuckled. "You got him good."

"Good."

"You do realize Bella won't be happy that you two were fighting, right?"

"Hey Em," I said nonchalantly, "you still got your golf clubs here?"

"...Why?"

"I'm thinking about taking that One Wood driver to his fucking skull."

"That'll do some damage," he said with another chuckle as he turned and lay beside me.

"I know."

"Edward, come on man. Jacob is trying to intimidate you so you'll back down from Bella."

I glared at him, before tossing the ball again, "He's so fucking stupid. He of all people should know me well enough that, if you tell me not to do something, I'm going to do it twice."

He snickered.

"What?"

"Do it twice... You didn't realize, this would be the second time you've tried hooking back up with Bella."

"Shut up, that's not my point."

"Look, Ed, we all know you and Bella are eventually going to get back together. I know it, you know it, she knows it... Why does it matter if Jacob is against it? It's not like that's anything fucking new."

"Because he keeps pushing my fucking buttons."

"That's because he's scared."

"Scared of what? Of losing Bella? Fuck, she's not his girlfriend, and never has been."

"I know that, calm down. All I'm saying is, he's a leopard, and he won't change his spots."

I closed my eyes as I brought the back of my hand up to cover my eyes, "I'm taking a nap. Let me know when Bella gets here."

"Alright man. But if you have a concussion, that won't be good."

"I'm fine."

"Mmhmm."

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

I woke up to the door swinging open, and the sound of plastic and paper bags being tossed around the room, followed by a, "Shhh, he's sleeping."

I kept my eyes closed, praying I could fall back asleep.

Of course, that was no luck. Even though I was half-unconscious, my heart began to speed up at the mere knowledge that Bella was occupying the room.

I could hear as she motioned for everyone to get out, and then I felt the bed move as she climbed up beside me.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and blinked a few times, until I found hers.

"Hey sleepyhead," she whispered, "Oh my gosh! What happened to your eyebrow, how did you get cut??"

I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes again, "Earlier."

"What do you mean, _earlier_?"

"Black."

Bella groaned, lying on her side beside me, as her cold hand caressed the tiny bandage above my cut, "Did he start it?"

"Of course."

Then I felt her punch my shoulder, causing me to wince.

"Edward Anthony Cullen! You should have walked away, been the better man!"

"I _was _the better man," I hissed, "and multiple times, I walked away. But a man can only be pushed so far, Bella."

"And he never eased up on you?"

"Do you _know _who we're talking about here?" I replied bitterly, "It's Jacob Black, not fucking Miss America."

She sighed, placing her head on the same shoulder she just slugged, "How bad did you get hurt?"

"Just where his ring made contact here. It doesn't even hurt, I just have a headache."

"He didn't hit you anywhere else?"

"Nothing big. He didn't have time."

"Why's that?"

"Because I hit him back, and then we got pulled apart."

She exhaled, "Did you hurt him bad, Edward?"

"I never got to see his face, Bella. We were pulled too far apart and I came inside first. But in all honesty, I _hope _I fucked him up."

"Edward."

"I mean it, Bella. He fucking deserves it. He almost knocked the wind out of me that last time he tackled me."

She was quiet for a few minutes, as she tossed her leg over mine, "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I replied hastily.

"...Are you mad at me?"

"No," I shook my head as I kept my arm over my eyes, "I just have a headache."

Her voice got even quieter, "I feel like you're pushing away from me, and I don't like it."

I rolled my eyes and lifted my arm, so she could squeeze closer to me, "Come here. I'm not pushing away from you."

She was hesitant at first, then she crawled up against me, placing a ginger kiss on the side of my neck before nestling back on my shoulder, "You weren't the only one who got some action. Wanna hear about _my _day?"

"Sure," I chuckled.

"Well, I made up with Alice, and I think Rosalie is starting to slowly step over on our side of the ball field."

"Yeah right."

"I'm serious, Edward. They both know how much we mean to each other, and I put them both in their places. You would be so proud of me, how I stood up for myself and how I didn't take any shit."

"My girl learns fast."

She giggled, "I think you're rubbing off on me."

"I wouldn't be surprised," I chuckled.

"Mmm," she hummed as she rubbed her leg up higher against me.

I grinned, "What?"

"Just the words I use... you... rubbing off on me."

I shut my eyes, keeping my grin in place, "Stop it."

"Stop _what_?" she teased.

"You know what."

She scooted closer, placing her lips over my ear as she whispered, "Maybe I don't _want _to stop."

"Bella, must I be the _only _one to have self-control in this relationship?"

She giggled as she brought my earlobe between her lips, sucking on it.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head, so I could pull it away gently.

Then she pouted, "_Edward_."

"_What_?"

"Come on," she said, her voice seductively," ...let me suck on it."

"Oh he'll give you something to suck on," Emmett said as he opened the door and invited himself in the room.

"How long have you been listening?" Bella and I asked him.

"Awhile, get up Edward."

"Why now?"

"Because, we're going to a fucking club."

"I'm not in the mood to go dancing."

"_You _won't be the one dancing, but hot sexy women wearing g-strings will be."

"A _strip _club?"

"Yes, get up."

I groaned, rolling over on my side.

"Edward, get up, 'cuz you're going, you little bitch."

Bella rubbed my back as she twisted toward Emmett, "Is it just the guys going?"

"Anyone can come... Quite literally, if they have happy endings at this particular one."

She giggled before turning back to me, "I'll go with you if you want."

I furrowed my brows and pulled my face back so I could look at her, "_You _want to go to a strip club?"

"Sure, why not?"

"...That may be awkward."

"Well, as I told Alice, I'm tired of being the sweet and innocent Bella all of the time. That's not really who I am anymore, only who I try to be when I want to make others happy. I mean, yeah, I'm nice by nature... but I also have a flirty, feisty side to me too... What do you say?"

I studied her eyes for a few minutes, taking a deep breath, "Sure, I guess."

"Awesome!" she replied. "I may even buy you a lapdance."

"Oh dear God, fuck me."

"That _could _be arranged."

"Bella..." I warned.

All she did was giggle.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Emmett ordered a limo for everyone and as we were climbing in, he took it upon himself to make Edward feel more awkward.

Slapping him on his shoulder, he pulled Edward to hem and said, "So man, you ready to get your chub on?"

All Edward did was give him a weary look and climb in.

Once we were on the road, I noticed that Edward kept checking me out while I half-sat on his lap, facing sideways.

All of us girls decided to wear bandage dresses, which were pretty vintage right now.

Rosalie wore a short white one, Colleen's was pink, Bryan's was yellow, Charlee's was black, Alice's was orange, Amber's was purple, and I chose to wear my brand new dark blue one, which had a black section just below the breast cups, which wrapped around the dress, and the straps to the dress were black as well.

Basically, the dresses were made to fit like a glove, and it did its purpose.

Most of the guys wore simple shirts and dark jeans, but Edward looked the best, in his navy blue, collared t-shirt, which he left two out of the three buttons undone, and he matched it with dark denim pressed jeans. His hair remained sexy as hell, with little pieces on the ends of the long spiky tips curling in delicate pieces. I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd think he spent years fixing it for one day... but he claims it only takes a minute or so.

He pulled me closer as Emmett started bumping the music, wrapping his arms completely around me, until they were locked and secure. "Are you cold in that?"

"No," I shook my head, "why?"

"It doesn't look very thin."

"It's... thin enough."

He leaned in, putting his forehead on my bare shoulder, "I'm going to have to hold onto you all night."

I grinned, pressing the side of my head back to his, "Why's that?"

"Because you look too good."

I bit my lip and winked at Colleen, who was holding my hand and grinning back at me.

"Edward, are you okay over there?" Bryan asked.

We lifted our heads at the same time, to see her sitting between Jacob's legs on the opposite side of the limo from us. Jacob looked very pissed off, and he had a cut on his bottom lip and a faint purple bruise below his left eye, thanks to Edward's knuckles.

"I'm fine Bry, how are you?"

"I'm wonderful."

Jacob scoffed and shook his head, and Bryan turned to him, mumbling something unrecognizable from this distance.

Edward gently placed his forehead back to my shoulder.

I twisted in his lap, raking my fingers through his hair, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I just have a headache," he whispered.

"Want some weed?" Emmett piped up, and Edward quickly shook his head no.

I grabbed my black handbag and began to dig through it, ignoring Edward's questions.

Eventually, I found my vicodin and handed him a couple. "Take only one for now, and one about six hours later."

"Where did you get these?"

"Fell down the stairs at school last year, busted a disk in my spine, and hurt my neck... You know, the usual."

He snickered, shaking his head as he threw the large pill in his mouth and swallowed it dry. "Bella, I swear, some days I think it'd be best if we wrap you in Styrofoam so you can't injure yourself."

"No, I'm sure it'd still happen if I tried really hard."

About forty minutes later, as we pulled up to the Sapphire club, Edward grabbed my hand and kept me in the limo with him, "If you feel uncomfortable at any time, just let me know, and we'll bail out."

"Edward, I'm fine. Honestly."

"I'm just sa-"

I covered his mouth, "I'm fine. Come on, it should be fun."

He grumbled as I pulled him out of the limo and into the packed parking lot. Immediately, he threw his arm over me protectively, and pulled me as close to him as possible as we weaved through the crowd. Of course, Emmett knew the owners, probably considering his father owns most the dance clubs in Seattle and has connections, so we didn't have to wait in line.

The building was two stories high and open all the way up. Lushed with a circular center stage, and five tiny stages in different corners. All the seats were plush and velvet sofas, there were five bars, multiple scanty waitresses, and the dancers looked more out of maxim than a run-down strip club that I've seen before.

The bouncer led us to a VIP section, right in front of the center stage. The music was blaring _'Bite The Hand That Feeds' _by _Nine Inch Nails_, as Edward pulled me down next to him. We all ordered drinks, as the steam crashed onto the stage and four women in cute little black skirts and tops, and extremely high heels strutted out and began their dances on the poles.

The crowd began to scream and cheer for the curvy women as Rosalie looked over at Emmett and said, "Awe, babe, are you going to ask them for lessons?"

"Bite me," Emmett said as he popped a cherry from her drink in his mouth, and gave her a wide toothy smile.

Alice and Rosalie were giggling and talking about the dancers outfit choices, while Bryan and Charlee were chugging their drinks. Amber remained quiet, while Colleen was fiddling with something inside of her purse.

Paul and Dean seemed utterly excited over the exotic women, while Makin and Jasper were laying back and smoking cigarettes, watching in silence. Jacob was zoned in on one brunette girl on the right of the stage, while Emmett was bobbing his head to the same rhythm as the woman in front of him was shaking her butt. Edward was looking to his left, right at me.

I tilted my head at him and gave him a slight smile, leaning over to him, "Are _you _okay?"

He nodded, returning a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

I leaned into him, resting my head on his shoulder while I watched the dancers.

Dean was the first to start chatting up the girls as they began to sit and talk to us. There were women all around, playing with the guy's hair as they passed or smiling at us women, who knew we had the keys to their wallets and what not. After Dean was talking to them, the rest of the guys started chatting them up -- well, all but _one_.

After a good thirty to forty minutes of women giving their best moves, Edward began to slowly loosen up. He kept his arm around me, and put more focus on me than the girls on the multiple stages, but he seemed to smile bigger, and seemed more comfortable in the environment.

I'm sure that he just wasn't used to seeing _me _in this type of area, but I was honestly having a blast. It was so far away from most things I did, it was like an adventure. I expected to see some ugly girls bouncing on a rusty stage, but ultimately, this seemed more like a Vegas show than a club. Colleen and I even ran up and gave the girls some dollars and got a dollar dance, where the girls stay on the stage and dance in front of you.

Then we did it a few more times, with different girls.

Then we ordered more to drink for everyone. We were having fun!

This beautiful girl, with long black hair, who said she was from Peru and raised in Australia, not to mention was recently in the _Miss Latin America_ competition, wore a black ruffle skirt and white tank top, sat right on his leg and started talking to Edward.

All Edward did was give her a polite smile, and turn his attention back to me. So _I _started talking to her. I found out she was only a few years older than us, and moved to Colorado with her family. Her name was Natalia, and she was so nice.

Another hour or so later, when everyone was drunk, and everyone but Edward and I -- including the girls -- had lapdances, _'Sex _and _Candy' _by _Marcy Playground_ came on, and we laughed as Dean and Paul got pulled back up off the couch by two blonde beautiful Asian girls. Edward shook his head and leaned it on my shoulder, taking his right arm and wrapping it over me, pulling me back into him.

"So," Natalia asked me as she lifted up my left hand, "how long have the two of you been together?"

Edward snapped his head to my hand she was holding and I blushed, while she examined my ring. It was the sweetheart ring he gave me our junior year of high school. Silver band with a square sapphire diamond in the middle, and two rectangle shaped baggot diamonds framing each side of it. On the underneath of it, where it shows if I flip my palm, Edward had it engraved with, "_To my love, my soul, my sweetheart_."

I found it in the bottom of my suitcase yesterday morning, and it shocked me, until I realized I hadn't used that particular suitcase since we vacationed in Colorado for my eighteenth birthday, and I had it in there.

Edward's warm eyes found mine and he pulled me closer before twisting around to her and saying, "Roughly seven and a half years... On and off since our freshman year of high school."

"Wow that's a long time! Aww, how adorable, I love how the ring matches your dress."

"Thank you," I smiled at her, "Edward's favorite color on me is blue, so..."

She grinned and turned to Edward, "You seem to really love this woman. I haven't seen you let go of her once since you two got here."

Edward rubbed my arm, "I do."

I blushed and curled into him, while a long haired blonde girl climbed up on our table. She began to strip while every single guy and girl but the two of us rose up to their feet and began to cheer her on.

Edward had my right hand face up in both of his, and was tracing lines along my life lines with his index finger. I placed a chaste kiss on his ear, before nuzzling on his shoulder.

"Are you comfortable?" he asked for the fifteenth time.

"Yes. Are you?"

He shrugged, while he brought my hand up and placed a warm kiss in the center of my palm.

"Edward, we can go home if you want. I don't mind leaving early."

His warm green eyes found mine, and I parted my lips to catch my breath.

"Bella, all I want to see is you right now. I don't care about all of these women."

"I just thought you'd want to come out and be one of the guys. I swear, the women aren't bothering me at all if that's what you're worried about. I want you to have a good time."

He nodded, and gently placed his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer so he could speak in my ear, "I'd rather have a good time with you."

"Do you want to go?"

He nodded.

I turned to the girls and told them we were leaving, which none of them seemed to like.

Of course, I didn't let their rejections get to me as I climbed to my feet, and Edward threw his jacket over my shoulders before pulling me back into them. He didn't even bother saying goodbye to them before leading me out of the club. We quickly climbed into a taxi and he pulled me back into his lap, so he could keep me warm.

We spent most of the drive in silence, just cuddling with each other and stroking each other's hands and arms and hair.

About an hour later, when we arrived back to the secluded cabin, Edward relaxed on the couch, throwing his feet on the coffee table.

"Poor baby," I said as I began to untie his shoes for him, "you look so tired."

"No, I'm fine Bella, I just... didn't really want to be there tonight. I didn't want _you _there."

"Why not?"

"Because you're better than those places."

"Most of the women seemed really respectable."

"You're still better than that."

"Edward we didn't have to go..."

"I know, but you wanted to, so of course I'd go. You know I'd go anywhere you want."

I sat in silence for a moment or two, studying his sweet expression.

He seemed so worried -- for me.

I quickly gave him a hug after I removed his shoes.

"I have an idea."

"What's that?"

"Well... how about you relax..."

"Yes..."

"...and I turn on some music..."

"Mmhmm..."

"...and _I _dance for you."

His mouth dropped open, "Uh... what?"

I giggled and jumped up to my feet, running over to the kitchen to turn on some dimmer glow lights and some music, "Just because we left the club doesn't mean you can't watch a girl shake her booty."

"Bella, you don't have to-"

"Shh, I want to."

As I tuned some music, I noticed Edward begin to fidget on the couch, "Bella, you honestly... I-I mean..."

"Edward Anthony Cullen, no objections."

He chuckled, and scooched down on the couch, to where his butt was hanging half way off, his head was leaning back against the cushions and he was all sprawled out. He looked like sex.

I licked my lips and handed him another beer, before drinking as much of mine as I could. Then I mounted the top of the coffee table, careful not to break my ankles in these heels.

His eyes focused on mine as I turned on the radio to my song choice, and he grinned, "Bella, you didn't just go there."

"Oh yes I did, I think it's the _perfect _song for our transitional period... Now you just sit there, be a good boy, and enjoy your show."

He relaxed deeper into the couch as _'Lovers and Friends' _by _Usher, Ludacris, and Lil Jon_ blared through the speakers.

I began to sway my hips, trying my hardest to remain confident as I loosened up my body.

Keeping my eyes on him, I bit my lip and began to unbutton his jacket, all the way until it was open.

I shook it off seductively, letting it drop down and fall off the coffee table as the first verse came on.

_'Baby, how you doing? Hope that you're fine, wanna know what you've got in mind tonight? Got me feelin like Jodeci, girl, I can't leave you alone... Take a shot of this patrone and it's gon' be on...'_

I ran my hands up my swirly body and into my hair, before bringing them up in the air as I dropped slowly to the ground, making sure to tease his eyes with my leg movements.

I watched him lick his lips as I stood back up and twisted around, giving him full view of my booty and legs in this tight dress as I swayed from left to right, and then into circular motions.

_'She said oh, oh, oh, I'm ready to ride, yeah. 'Cuz once you get inside, you can't change your mind, don't mean to sound impatient, but you've got to promise babe..."_

Seductively, I dropped and swiveled back to the ground, peeking over my right shoulder at him and giving him a wink, before turning back away and standing back up.

_'Tell me again... tell me again, my baby, can we be lovers and friends? I've got to know baby, oh yeah... Tell me again... tell me again my baby, can we be lovers and friends?...'_

Of course, when I was facing away from him, I felt myself blush but quickly ignored it while I twisted back around to face him, showing nothing but confidence in my eyes.

As the second verse came on, with Ludacris rapping, I held my breath and stepped over to the couch, standing above him with a heel on each side of his leg while I kept my eye contact.

_'Oh, it's a good look baby... a really good look baby...'_

I lifted his chin with my finger, making him watch me dance.

_'Sometime I wanna be your lover, sometime I wanna be your friend, sometime I wanna hug ya, hold hands, slow dance while the record spins...'_

I dropped down above him slowly, circling my hips as I went, until I was practically straddling his lap.

_'I can be your bud, you can beat me up, playfight in the dark then we both makeup, I'd do anything just to feel your butt.'_

While I grinded up him sexually, pushing my chest into him and moving up and down and around on him, I quickly removed his hands on my hips, whispering, "No touching" with my best smile.

He gave me his side grin as I sat his hands palm-down onto the cushions, and twisted around in his lap, facing away from him now.

I flipped my hair back and it sprawled all over his face and shoulder, while I pushed my back into his chest and kept my butt making circular motions on his very... aware... lap. I gripped his wrists and held him down on the couch, giving my all into the dance.

_'You know you like it like.._. _that. You don't have to fight... back. Here's a pillow, bite... that. ...And I'll be set in _separate_ plays, so on all these _separate_ days, your legs can go their _separate..._ ways..."_

As the chorus came back on, I rose to my feet and turned to face him, my hands trailing along his chest while I lowered to the carpet, eyeing him down and biting my bottom lip like I know he likes it.

I watched as he remained put, but his chest heaved up and down heavily, with his lips parted into a succulent separation.

I leaned forward, shaking my butt in the air as I eyed him down, pushing my breasts over his face.

He hummed and smiled as my skin brushed along his lips and I felt his hands begin to lift up, but he quickly regained his focus.

As Lil Jon started his rap, I began to slowly pull my dress up higher, revealing much more of my thigh, and enjoying his eyes widen and his breathing become thicker.

His smile remained permanent, and mesmerizing.

I almost lost _my _breath, and that wouldn't help when I'm twirling around seductively in three-inch black heels.

I flipped my hair up, bringing my arms up in the air while I began to grind on his left leg.

Then I spun around again and leant toward the coffee table, listening to him groan and his breathing intake as I gave him the slightest sneak peak of my black lace, Victoria's Secret booty shorts beneath.

He quickly pulled me down into his lap and I quickly removed his hands, pushing my back up against his chest, making sure he got punished for his actions.

_'Tell me over and over and over again... Oh, oh, ooh, oh, oh, ooh, oh, oh oooohh yeah...'_

I ground harder up against him in circles, and I could feel his heart pounding from his chest and into my spin.

I don't even think he was breathing anymore when I bent forward and slowed my rhythms, but kept my butt in place, arching my back as I moved along his pants.

_'...Please tell your lovers and friends, that Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again... hey! ...Please tell your lovers and friends, that Usher, Jon, and Luda had to do it again... hey!'_

At the snap of the end of the song, I flipped my hair around and rested my chin on my right shoulder, smiling at him before getting back to my feet and walking away, grinning like a fool.

He remained silent for a second, with his mouth still ajar, his hands still in freeze position, and his body... well... excited.

Once I got in the kitchen, I leaned my elbows on the counter and tilted my head at him, giving him my most adorable smile, "Edward, are you alright?"

"How much for an encore," he teased breathlessly.

"Encore's involve heavier music."

"I don't care, get back over here."

I giggled and chose my next song, before running back over to him.

"Can I touch you this time?"

I couldn't help but cave in to his piercing diamond green eyes, his succulent sexy bottom lip as it formed into my favorite crooked grin, and that all too knowing expression. "Nothing beneath the clothes, or anywhere where my stepfather _wouldn't _approve."

"Deal."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Oh, and Edward," she said as she lifted the stereo remote, "...when I said _heavier _music... I also meant... more _aggressive _dancing... You might not make it."

I grinned at her and took my chances.

Bella was having way too much fun with this, the little woman.

I was loving every minute of it.

The music came on, and it baffled me. There were violinsplaying.

I furrowed my brows as she grinned at me, before straddling my lap, and sitting on me while her she slid down the straps on both sides of her dress again.

Confused, I held my breath and started to say something, until the classical music turned heavy.

"What is this?" I asked as I watched her flip her hair around.

"_'Comatose', _by _Skillet_," she said as she arched her back and shoved herself against me.

I am not sure if it was the six strawberry daiquiris she had at the club, followed by the large margarita she finished off in the taxi, or the beer she chugged before she began this sexual torture... but her confidence has done nothing but skyrocket as the night went on.

I always knew she was sexy... but this just blew my mind. _Sexy _wasn't even a description compared to her. There wasn't a word I could think of to fit this predicament we were in.

The heavy music slowed down as the singer started, and Bella slowed her hips to a torturous pace.

_'...I hate ....feeling like this, I'm so tired ....of trying to fight this, I'm asleep but all I dream of ...is waking to you.."_

The music got heavy and she gripped onto me harder, pushing me as far as I'd go into the cushions as she began to thrust herself against me.

I couldn't even breathe, I was so shocked at her bravery.

Making my mind up as fast as possible, I quickly clutched my fingers onto her hips, encouraging her movements. _Hell, why not, right?_

_'...And the more I hide, I realize... I'm slowly losing you... comatose... I'll never wake up without an ... overdose... of you.'_

The chorus came back on and she rose to her feet on the couch, jerking her hips from left to right and throwing pretty much everything that was bundled up in that sex-on-a-stick tight dress of hers into my face.

I seriously wanted to chew on her.

She slowly spun around and stood facing the opposite way, and I felt her ass and back slide down my lips, and I inhaled her scent as she dropped back into my lap.

Her dress was beyond hiked up now, so I took it upon myself to help that matter, tucking it up around her perfect waist, until all of those sexy... _dear God in _heaven _sexy_... black lace panties were in my view.

The chorus stopped and the violins came back on, and Bella leaned forward, gripping her fingers onto the coffee table while she straddled me backward.

_'I hate... living without you. Dead wrong, to ever doubt you. My demons lay here waiting, tempting me away..'_

I held my breath, preparing for the worse.

Thank fucking God I did, or I would have lost it right then.

_'Oh how I adore you, oh how I thirst for you.. Oh how I.... I need you.'_

While I sat on the couch, gripping her skin for dear life and holding her to me, my gorgeous and _sexual _Bella leaned completely forward, her back a ninety-degree angle from me, and literally began bouncing up and down on my lap, like we were _fucking_.

I bit my lip and let go of her waist, holding my hands in the air like I had done something wrong. Sure, I'd had my share of lapdances in college with my buddies, but nothing, and I do mean _nothing_, compared to _this_.

The chorus swung back on again, and I cursed it inside for hurrying up. I wanted it to last forever.

Bella climbed to her feet, keeping the dress where it was for a second as she twisted her hips and chewed on that full lip of hers.

Then, locking those warm and seductive chestnut eyes on mine, paralyzing me completely, she slid the dress down her hips and onto the floor, revealing to me a strapless lace bra that matched those panties.

I think I let out a groan or two as my breath sped up, but I couldn't help it.

I never wanted more badly than to jump off this couch this second and plow into her.

I rubbed my face a few quick times to regain my focus.

I even thought about slapping myself in the face, but I knew she'd just giggle and I didn't know how much more of those seductive little laughs I could handle.

She twisted around, allowing me to look at her sexy form of her back and neck when she brushed all her hair over her left shoulder. The bridge came on as she dropped back to the ground in those silk black heels of hers, and then pushed her ass toward me while she stood up, giving me a teasing view.

As the bridge came to an end, a few heavy bass drums and guitars hit, causing her to sway hard from left, to right, to left again, before spinning around and grabbing my knees as she leaned forward over me.

_'...Comatose... I'll never wake up without an overdose... of you."_

As the music got heavier and harder, she pushed her face right into my lap, before climbing back up onto me.

Again, my hands -- which had a mind of their own by this point -- gripped her hips and encouraged her to move on me.

As the music and bridge mixed, her movements got heavier onto me and she leaned in, jerking my head back as she gripped onto the tips of my hair and biting my neck again as she moved.

I grinned and clasped my fingers deeper into her, almost fearing I'd _bruise _her by the end of this.

Once the music stopped, she steadied on my lap, and I felt my heart pounding right into her chest as I tried to catch my breath.

She wound her fingers along my neck as the soothing melodies of _'Wonderful Tonight' _by _Eric Clapton _came on.

She pulled away, arching her back so she could look at my face.

"Are you okay?" she asked with a beautiful smile.

I nodded, rubbing her back with my clammy hands. I didn't trust my voice yet, so I decided to remain mute.

"Did I do a good job?"

I gave her a crooked smile and nodded as I leaned to the side and chugged my beer.

"Are you speechless?"

I chuckled and nodded again, before finishing the bottle off.

I watched her eyes zone to my lip as I bit it and hummed as I pushed her up against me, "That was, hands down, the sexiest thing I had ever seen."

"I was going to get naked, but I thought you wouldn't want me to."

"I think my heart just stopped."

"Well," she said as she kissed my cheek, "I'm glad I _didn't _do it then. I don't want you dying on me."

Pulling her to me, I pushed my forehead into that bare collar bone of hers, kissing it delicately.

Bella hummed and pushed up against me, tugging on the tips of my hair.

"This has made my day so much better," I whispered against her skin.

"...Mine too."

Her hands traced from my hair, to the back of my neck, to my jaw line, and she lifted my head to face hers.

"Edward..."

"Yeah?" I whispered back to her.

We were silent for a few moments as we stared at each other.

All I could think about was kissing her...

She brushed her thumb along my cheekbone as she stared into my eyes longer.

I couldn't necessarily figure out what she was thinking, but I had a pretty good idea of what it may include.

"You want me to kiss you," I whispered as I brushed her hair off her shoulders, "...don't you."

She nodded, licking her lips, "If you want."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second, taking a moment to think about this.

It had been almost a week since we decided to be friends, and we were doing a great job at that. We got everything out of the way, including the shitty Jacob/Tanya conversation... and we handled it well. We've accepted our problems and have apologized for our wrong-doings...

And we both wanted to be together...

...But was I still scared?

I slowly opened my eyes, and found hers again. "Do _you _want to?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

I took another deep breath as my hands brushed up her sides.

I began to pull her to me, but her fingers covered my mouth, "wait."

Immediately, I tensed up and froze.

"No, no, I want to," she stammered as she shook her head, "I just want to make sure you're doing this for you and not just for me."

I snickered as she slowly removed her hands from my lips, "...Come here, you."

She smiled as I delicately pulled her to me, my hands around her neck as our eyes fluttered shut. My breath caught at the excitement of the rush, and I tilted my head to the left, brushing my lip along hers. I felt her begin to tremble as she waited on _my _mark, on _my _time.

I brushed along her lip again in the opposite direction, and could feel my own breath bouncing off her warm lips and back onto my face. I think we were both shaken up at this moment.

I did it again, back toward the left, and this time, I felt her respond, parting her sweet lips gently. As I trailed back toward the right, I felt her inhale as her hands gripped my wrists, but I held onto her face still. She pulled my bottom lip between hers, and kissed me with a sensitive pressure.

As soon as I applied pressure back, we were done for. There was no turning back...

I closed my eyes tighter and shook my thoughts away, as I kissed her back with the same soft, torturous intensity. I gave her a few soft, slow, warm kisses at first, from her top lip, to her bottom lip, then her top again.

I could feel her lashes fluttering tight as her thumbs caressed my stubble on my jaw line and she pulled me more into her.

We tilted our heads in opposite directions and our lips matched as we opened our mouths wider, increasing the momentum in the kiss.

Her breath swarmed over me as we pushed and pulled our lips apart, opening and closing and giving wide, open-mouthed kisses, delicate and sensual, with no tongue at first. I heard a hum escape the back of her throat as we continued our motions.

I slid my right hand to the back of her neck, trapping some of her hair with my fingers as I pushed her into me.

She gasped, and I could feel her warm tongue bouncing on her lips, hesitating for the right moment. I smiled into her lips, and gently tucked my tongue out, sliding it beneath hers. Her fingers tightened around me as I gently drew her tongue into my own mouth.

Our hearts were going crazy as our tongues began to connect off and on between our lips and individual kisses.

Then, like someone pulled the plug on our _friendship line_, Bella began to hum and she pushed me back against the couch, putting all her body weight onto me.

I gripped her hips as she dove her tongue into my mouth, kissing me like she had been waiting to kiss me for years.

I sucked in her bottom lip, causing another gasp from her, and then I gently nibbled it for a second or two, before releasing it with a pop back into her mouth.

"Oh Edward," she whispered, before pushing her sweet lips back against mine, and our tongues met at the same time, as our grasps on our fingers became more intense... and the need for each other increased... and the more and more we kissed and suckled and moaned and gasped and _pushed _each other... the more that friendship tag faded away...

Bella and I kissed and kissed and kissed, like we had never kissed before in our entire lives... In fact, it was so intense, we were doing it like our lives depended on it.

Listening to her moans and her heartbeat as she pushed and pulled against me, taking all she wanted and needed and giving me the same amount for myself, it was enough to do me in. Despite the fact that we had paused between her seduction dance earlier, feeling her skin in all places except for thin pieces of fabric which barely covered her... I was losing my patience with my self-control.

I shoved her up against me and stood up, and could feel her throw her legs around me, those high-heels locking around my waist.

Now that I had her in the air, I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her -- because I didn't give myself time to think.

I knew I'd never have the willpower to stop anything if I took her upstairs, so that was a no.

But I still _wanted _more than this... I _wanted _to make out with her...

Instead, I laid her down onto the couch and collapsed on top of her, pushing into her in the ways I knew she'd want for friction's sake, and pulled my mouth away from her so she could breathe.

She clawed at my shirt, bunching the back of it with her fingers while I sucked on her neck. She moaned when I gently bit it, jerking my shirt up the rest of the way.

Despite my knowing that it would probably be a bad idea if I let her strip me, I couldn't get the _no _word to come out of my mouth, and I lifted myself up, allowing her to tug it off.

Then I crashed back into her, and her heels dug into my ass and back as she pushed and pulled me.

We began to kiss so heavily, I was sure that one of us was going to pass out from lack of oxygen.

Five minutes later, when we were both panting and our blood pressure was up, she gripped my face, pulling me down to her eye level.

The she pushed it back so I'd look at the ceiling, and began to nibble and kiss on my Adam's apple.

I closed my eyes and held onto the couch by the arm rest while she did it.

When she finally pulled me back down to look at her again, she said in a calm, sweet voice, "You make me so happy, Edward."

I smiled at her, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

"...and I l-"

"I love you too, Bella," I said with a smile.

She grinned at me and began to pull me down, but I heard something, and stopped her.

I could hear people laughing drunkenly, and I quickly sat up, pulling her up with me. As if someone shouted fire, I grabbed her dress and my shirt, throwing my shirt over her head to cover her up.

Then I scooped her up and carried her up the steps. I got the second flight as all our friends began to pile into the living room, stumbling and shouting and laughing.

I quickly took us into her bedroom and locked the door, keeping the lights off as we climbed into bed.

"Shh," I whispered as I pulled her into me. "We don't want them coming in here intoxicated."

She pushed her face into my neck, curling her fingers around my arms as she forced me to come up against her, "It's fine, I'm tired anyway."

"You are?"

She smiled warmly, "Yeah."

"...Me too."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

She nodded and kissed my lips one delicate time, before turning away from me and pushing her back against my chest.

I slid one arm beneath her and one arm over her, holding her against me in a snug manner.

"Goodnight, Edward."

"Goodnight, my sweet Bella."

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 15! **

**-- Answer to put at bottom of review: Who gave the best dance? Bella or Edward?**

**-- Party is tomorrow night, as well as the end of the second week. Only five more days left in the cabin... much more stuff to come!!**

**  
-- For those of you who are loyal fans to **_**The Search For Myself**_**, I want to say a quick THANK YOU for your patience. The chapter is here and it's a WIP,  
but honestly, I'm stuck in a certain spot and I want it to be good, so it's just been sitting there half-finished, and I know that once I get this certain part done, the  
rest will fall into place like it always will. I'm going to upload the last chapter and the epilogue together, so the story WILL be complete this week. TYSM for all your love for that story.  
You guys are the best!**

**Reviews are better than Bella's confidence... okay, well almost! :D**


	16. Combusted Aggressions

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for your friendship. Besides all the Beta'ing and everything else, I honestly couldn't ask for a better friend. You're the best!

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PLEASE REVIEW!

**READERS: Thanks so much for sticking with me through the drought here! I hope the wait was worth it!**

VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUCNEMENT AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS!!

NOTE TO READERS: If you cannot review, it is most likely because you have reviewed for Chapter 16 all ready. I hated doing the annoucement thing and having to replace a chapter. My advice is to review on a chapter you didn't review on before, or review anonymously. Sorry about the hassle.

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**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER INCLUDES EXTREME VIOLENCE.**

**Chapter Sixteen: The night of the party. Part 1 of 2.  
****I really wanted to test some of E/B's limits, as far as the past sneaking up on them. **

**Sexual frustration aside, let's focus on some things from their past that may come back... like FALSE RUMORS -- _HINT HINT_ --, jealousy, exes, etc...  
Plus, you know, the sex thing too. Can't leave that out, after all. Plus, with all that sexual frustration... you know something bad is going to happen, in some way.  
A person can only take it so far before the cable breaks. ****Not to mention, JAMES. **

**Pictures of James and Elizabeth in profile. ;)  
IMPORTANT A/N on the bottom!  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

**Special Shoutout:** To my husband Wesley for the song reccomendation. I finally found a song of yours that doesn't suck! HAHAHA! Thanks for the fighting mood music!

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_**"I don't remember asking you about your imperfections.  
You might win... one battle.  
But know this, I'll win the fucking war!  
Deserve it, you earned it, got yourself a fuckin' war.  
Believe it, you need it, face down on the fuckin' floor.  
I hate it, can't take it, wanna break your fuckin' bones.  
No mercy, you ****, should've left it all alone.  
Step to me, step to me motherfucker.  
Zip your lip, you've run out of time.  
Step to me, step to me motherfucker!  
Talk the talk, now walk the damn line!"  
Five Finger Death Punch, "The Way of the Fist."**_

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_**  
**_**Chapter Sixteen: Combusted Aggressions**

**EdwardPOV**

"HIT ME!"

"What the f-"

_Clunk!_

I woke up as I was falling off the bed, startled beyond repair from the noise of a horrendous girl group singing, followed by Bella's voice going with the lyrics right behind them.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted as I hit the carpet. The alarm clock landed on top of me, followed by a half-empty glass of water, which was now fully empty since whatever remained on the glass was now on my face and gray t-shirt, not to mention the base of the glass hitting my forehead.

_Can you keep up? Baby boy, make me lose my breath. Bring the noise, make me lose my breath. Hit me hard, make me lose my, ha-ha!_

I groaned, rolling over on my side as the annoying first verse of _Destiny's Child's "Lose My Breath" _played_. _

What a fantastic way to start my morning.

_What the fuck was it with the women in this house startling me half to death in my semi-sleep stature? Can't they find someone else to torture?_

I threw the glass away from me and sat up, wiping the water off my face.

_Oooh, I'm startin' to believe that I'm way too much for you. All that talk but it seems like it can't come through...All them lies like you could satisfy me, now I see where believing you got me. Gave you the wheel, but you can't drive me._

The disastrous noise continued from the direction of the bathroom, followed by the distinct noise of water splashing along the shower walls.

I rubbed my forehead, feeling a bump beginning to grow on it.

"Mother fuck me," I cursed as I climbed to my feet, tripping over the alarm clock cord as I went, and yanking it out of the wall with my foot. Then I kicked it along to the closet door, breaking a few of the flapped pieces on the left side. Continuing my rant, I picked up the pillows and covers that tumbled out of the bed with me, and slammed them back on Bella's mattress.

I hated waking up like this.

It couldn't be a good sign for the day.

Growling loudly, I dragged myself toward the bathroom, not bothering to knock when I entered. There was enough steam strolling through the crack beneath the door to know that I wouldn't be able to see anything even if I wanted to.

Bella giggled as she continued her singing, "Ooh... Two things I don't like when I tryin' to get my groove, is a partna that meets me only half way and just can't prove... Take me out so deep when you know you can't swim. Need a lifeguard and I need protection, so put it on me deep in the right direction..."

Again, I growled as I wiped the steam from the mirror, so I could inspect the growing knot. It was there, not too big but definitely defiant enough and red. As I was cursing under my breath and the fucking-girl-group-wanna-be-gangsta-song, I noticed from the reflection in the mirror that Bella was singing into the spray of the hand-held shower head. While she was singing, she splashed water along the door, and I could see her.

I mean... _see _her...

Shaking her slim hips, the water soaking on her face, her long hair slapping across her skin from left to right, beautiful curvaceous breasts bouncing to the beat...

I gasped when I realized this, locking up over the sink. Then I twisted around, curling my fingers under the edge of the sink as I watched Bella's naked and wet form drop it to the ground seductively, then twirl back around as she rose to her feet.

As she was dancing, her hands were flinging the shower head around, causing water to splash up over the glass door, hitting all over the wall and bathroom floor. She was making a mess everywhere, but as she spun in a provocative circle, I didn't give two shits about the mess.

I felt myself edging closer toward the door, as I was panting and heaving, but I couldn't find the will to stop. Her hair had wet curls from the shower and steam, and was literally sticking along her cheek and neck and shoulder... It was mesmerizing.

I cleared my throat, watching her sway as the song changed. And once it did, I think I grew rock solid, as hard as I had ever been, thanks to _Juvenile _and his _'Back That Ass Up' _song. I literally stood there, mouth hanging wide open like a fucking dog, I'm sure drool was coming out of my mouth and everything...

Bella's breasts were bouncing around to the beat, and then she just broke lose... Dancing like she owned the world.

Whoever said white girls cannot dance -- especially ones who have coordination problems as it is -- were clearly mistaken. _This _girl could _move_.

I wanted to hunt down _Juvenile's _parents and thank them for procreating and creating this rapper, so he could create this wonderful, wonderful song...

Bella kept swaying and splashing the water around and over the door as she bent over and jiggled her ass around, before dropping it down to the ground. As I watched, I realized something... whatever lap dance she gave me last night was clearly a mere warm up. This woman had been holding out on me. She didn't do half these moves last night...

I felt like a mesmerized virgin. And the hypocrisy in that was, though I _felt _like a virgin... I wanted to fuck her senseless.

This was the beginning of the end on my last string of withdrawals and self-control from her. There was nothing left now.

I rubbed my face, before my eyes zoned in on her soaking wet nipples and beautiful curves. I don't think I was even breathing anymore.

Once that song was over and it switched a classic song I actually liked, _'Free Bird' _by _Lynyrd Skynyrd_, I snapped out of my fantasy moment and realized I was now soaking wet from the spray.

My gray t-shirt and black pajama pants were sticking to me in all the wrong ways.

And then Bella turned around right as the first verse came on, and saw me.

"AHH!" she screamed, dropping the shower rod and falling back into the wall.

I quickly turned around to make my escape, not thinking as I did it.

While I tried to move, my feet decided they didn't want to work with the flood on the floor, and I slipped and slid -- my legs doing scissor-motions I didn't even know I could do -- before I flew up in the air and landed on my back on the ground with an _UNF!_ coming out of my throat. I gasped for air from the wind that had just been knocked out of me.

I heard the shower glass door open and Bella scrambling around for a towel, before running over to me and kneeling down next to my head.

"EDWARD! Are you okay? Oh my gosh, you're bleeding!"

I nodded, feeling my face turn a nice shade of red from the lack of oxygen thanks to my fall. She swept my head in her lap and pulled her fingers back, and they were slightly covered in blood.

"Oh my God, Edward, you cracked your head open or something! What were you _doing _in here?!"

"No, no," I slurred out as she began to double in bodies before my eyes, and everything went blurry, "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"You're not fine! Oh wow, do I move you? I don't know if I should help you up, I don't kn-"

"I'm fine," I said again as I slowly sat up, feeling my head pounding like a drum and my spine throbbing. Not to mention I was now completely soaked, front and back.

"WHAT WERE YOU _DOING _IN HERE?!"

"You woke me up," I panted, rubbing my head, "with your fucking music and I hit my head, and I was trying to come in here and check it out."

"By looking at me in the _shower_, you _freak_?!"

"No, by finding the mirror, and then after _that_, I saw you in the shower. And I'm _not _a freak."

"No, you're a Peeping Tom," she hissed as she helped me stand to my feet.

I swayed in a circle, feeling my face grow fuzzy and warm, and as we collapsed to each other -- me for balance and her to hold me up -- I grabbed hold of her towel, and both it and I fell back to the floor.

Bella was now naked again.

I chuckled painfully as she cringed, before jerking the towel from my fingers and wrapping it around her for the second time. "This is _not _funny; you could have broken your neck!"

I lay on my stomach in the puddle, not caring anymore, "Well I didn't."

She knelt beside me again, running her fingers through the back of my hair.

"Mm, that feels good."

"It's not meant to, I'm just trying to figure out where you hit your head."

"Which time?"

"There were _multiple _times?"

"Yes, the time your fucking glass hit my head when I fell out of bed, and the time I crashed to the floor. Which time are you referring to?"

"Edward, my God."

I stayed quiet as she checked it out. She confirmed it was just a scratch, and a possible knot. But I had a fucking headache from hell -- _I'm sure Rosalie sent it to me with her mind voodoo since she was indeed the queen of Hell -- _and it was killing me.

After fifteen minutes or so, when she was done with her inspection and her scolding, and by the time the Tylenol began to sink in, I was feeling better.

Bella helped me to the bedroom and laid me back down, and came back in a few moments later, in her normal clothes.

"If you came in here naked," I teased as I ran my fingers through my hair, "it would have made me feel better."

"I think you saw enough of me naked for one day."

"No.... I think I need another shot," I said as I leaned over the side of the bed and pulled her into my arms, before flipping her on her back, over me and onto the mattress.

"EDWARD!"

I growled as I nuzzled her neck, and she began to squeal beneath me. "Stop it! You shouldn't be playing right now, you may have a concussion!"

"It's _your _fault. I think you need to make it up to me."

"I most _certainly _will not!"

I rolled completely on her, pinning her arms above her head, "Then I will just steal it from you."

She eyed me down, and I watched as she tried to refrain herself from allowing her lips to pull up and smile at me.

"Don't smile," I teased her, "it'll give you away."

And of course, she did, like a fool. Grinning from ear to ear.

She arched her back, trying to somehow bump me off of her -- or hump me. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?!"

"Doing what you're doing!"

"Oh you know you love it," I said, biting her left shoulder.

"EDWARD! I'm going to beat you senseless in a minute!"

"Mmm," I said in her ear with a low and hasty voice, "I love it when you talk dirty to me."

"Quit it!" she shouted as I began to suck on her neck.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," she said breathlessly, pushing her pelvis up against me to bump me off again, "I swear on my life, I will turn you black _and _blue!"

"Mm, do it baby," I teased breathlessly, before sucking in her left earlobe, "do it."

"Stop it!"

"Come on, do it, Bella... I want you to. _Beat _me, beautiful."

"Urgh! You're making me frustrated!"

"Yeah?" I grinned into her ear, "You're making me horny."

"Edward, I can't handle this," she panted as her nails dug into the backs of my hands while I held her arms down.

"Handle what?"

"This!" she panted, "You better stop!"

"Maybe I don't want to," I whispered as I licked down and along her neck, toward the other side. "Maybe I want to _continue_."

"Oh God," she moaned as I bit her neck.

Immediately, she stopped fighting against me, but her hands kept trying to break free.

I pushed into her, encouraging her to wrap her legs around my waist, and she did instantly, like I knew she would.

"Ugh, Edward, please don't quit this time."

I grinned before I tossed her left hand with the other one into _my _left hand, and allowed my free hand to trail along between her breasts.

I pulled her shirt up, kissing every inch of skin that I revealed. "Does that feel good?"

"Yes," she replied breathlessly.

I let go of her hands and pulled her body up with mine, jerking her shirt off and tossing it far from the bed.

Then the phone rang.

It was my father's ringtone, and he'd only call if it were important.

I dropped onto the bed, rolling over onto my back and flipping my phone over while Bella straddled me.

"Hello?"

"Son, how are you doing?"

"Fine," I replied as I watched Bella push up my shirt and kiss along my abdomen. "H-how are you?"

"I'm doing well, Edward, thank you."

I swallowed, watching her delicate fingers begin to pull on my drawstring to my pj's.

"Lift up," she commanded lightly with a grin.

I shook my head, swallowing hard.

"Yes!"

"No," I hissed silently.

"Edward?"

"Huh?"

"Did you hear what I said?"

I shook my head, covering my face with my hands while I felt Bella try and tug my pants down, "I'm sorry dad, no, I didn't. What was that?"

"I asked if this was a bad time."

"Uh..."

Bella reached behind her and unclasped her bra, allowing it to fall onto my stomach.

"Edward?"

She grinned and lay on top of me, sucking along my neck.

"Edward?"

I groaned as quietly as possible, feeling her hot breath wash over me.

"Son?"

"What, Dad?" I asked breathlessly as she sucked on my earlobe.

"Edward, I'm worried. What are you doing over there?"

Bella moved to my face now. She began kissing me, drawing my bottom lip between her teeth, and I struggled to pull away from her.

"Edward Anthony Cullen?"

I closed my eyes and pulled my face away, panting as I watched her move lower, "Dad, I'm sorry, now's not the best time. Is there someth - Ugh!"

Bella giggled as she drew my right nipple beneath her wet tongue.

I closed my eyes, forcing myself to focus, "W-Was there anything important you needed to talk to me about?"

Bella licked along my stomach, down the length of my treasure trail.

Then she scraped her nails lightly down my ribs, humming as she blew hot breath where she previously licked.

I stifled back another moan.

"Edward, are you with Tanya right now?"

I froze, blinking a few times.

Bella noticed, lifting her head.

"Are you and Tanya... you know... busy?"

Growling internally, I gently pushed Bella off of me and sat up.

"If you're with your girly-girl, Edward, I can call back later. Just tell Tanya I say hello. And you need to bring her over for dinner soon."

I scoffed, shaking my head as I stood up, ignoring Bella's concerns for what made me stop her.

As I entered the bathroom alone, I muttered into the phone, "No, I wasn't with _Tanya_, but thanks for killing my buzz."

Then I hung up on him as nausea took over.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

"Alice Brandon!"

I cringed, hiding behind the couch in the den.

Rosalie's voice came barreling down the steps, and I covered my mouth to keep from giggling.

"Alice, I know you're in here. I can smell your _Very Irrésistible Givenchy _perfume all around here!"

I ducked lower, biting my lip and holding my breath.

I could hear magazines and pillows getting thrown around as she shuffled through the room in her heels.

"Alice! Just give me my handbag and I won't have to hurt you!"

I clutched the black D&G purse to my chest, allowing the gold buckle to embrace along my shirt. It was so beautiful, I wanted to marry it.

"If you don't give it to me, I'm going to call for Jasper and tell him about every time in high school when you were sick, when you ripped your pants, when you tried to seduce a teacher, about your perio-"

"OKAY!" I shouted, jumping up from behind the couch. "Okay... Okay... I'm sorry."

She held out her left hand, palm up, "Give it."

"Just let me borrow it for a few days, I swear I will return it."

"Give it to me."

"Please?!" I begged, hugging the poor, defenseless purse with all my might while I bounced up and down, "Please? I mean, it was just lying there, and there wasn't anything inside of it... You weren't using it!"

"That purse was pretty expensive! I spent a month's worth of my savings on it!"

"I swear I won't get it dirty."

Rosalie glared at me, hands on hips, "Borrow something else, just not that."

"Rose, I swear..." I pouted, curling out my bottom lip, "if I get it dirty or hurt it in any way, you can hang me."

Jasper strolled into the den wearing a brown sweater over a pink collared shirt, and dark denim jeans. He grinned at the two of us and shook his head, "You two are at it again?"

"I just wanted to borrow her Dolce & Gabanna bag!" I declared.

"Why?" he shrugged as he stood between us, "It doesn't even match your red outfit... and why are you wearing a dress?"

"It's a mini," I declared, "and because it looks good on me. We're having a party, remember? I want to look sexy."

"You always look sexy," he insisted as he wrapped his arm around me, "but you don't have to wear a _mini _to look good. Besides, if we're having a party here at the cabin, then you won't need the bag, because you won't be leaving..."

"But I'm going into town and I thought it'd look sexy to match with my D&G shades."

Jasper chuckled and looked over at Rosalie, "How much did you pay for the bag?"

"That one?" She pointed.

"Yes."

"Three hundred and ninety-seven dollars."

Jasper's mouth dropped open, "For a little _purse _thingy?"

"Yes," Rosalie hissed at him, "why?"

He smirked and walked out of the room.

Rose and I looked at each other in silence, confusion written on both of our faces.

About a minute later, he came back, wallet in hand.

He pulled out a wad of cash, and held it in front of Rosalie, "Here is four hundred and fifty."

"What?!" We both shrieked at the same time.

"What? Is it not enough? Do you want five?"

"No Jasper," I insisted, suddenly feeling really bad. I walked over to him, grabbing him by the arm, "It's not necessary. I don't need it."

"No, no, you want it. Rose, will you sell it to me?"

Rosalie's mouth continued to hang open.

"Jasper, really," I continued, trying to pull him away, "I don't need it. I'm being ridiculous."

"Rose, will you sell it to me?" Jasper repeated in his southern drawl that does me in.

She nodded, allowing him to place the cash in her palm.

Jasper smiled and turned to me, "There babe. It's yours now. Problem solved. No more girls bickering. Back to silence in the cabin."

With that, he kissed the side of my head and patted Rosalie's back, before walking into the kitchen.

The both of us girls continued to stand there in silence, me with the purse, her with the cash.

After a few minutes of staggering awkwardness, we went our separate ways. I tried a million and one times to make Jasper get his money back. I tried explaining how stupid I was to have borrowed it from Rose without asking, and how materialistic things weren't necessary. I tried explaining how, in a country that is on the brig of a second Great Depression, paying almost five hundred dollars for a used purse was just ridiculous.

"Besides," I continued to argue, "you shouldn't be spending your money on me."

"Alice," he said in a calming voice, with a side-grin that made me... _react _instantly, "get your sexy ass with that red _mini _dress over here."

I bit my lip as I walked over to the bar stool he was currently occupied at, and beamed like an idiot as he pulled me between his legs.

"You are the most beautiful woman on this entire planet," he whispered huskily into my ear, as the tips of his fingertips dug into the small of my back, "and you deserve the finer things in life...." he brushed his nose into my hair, "...and _if _I want to spend my money on you, I will. There's no sense in arguing with me in that fact..."

Jasper began to apply kisses below my ear, down my jaw line, and onto the side of my neck, "Besides... you _can _make it up to me, if you feel it is necessary... but _only _if."

I shivered as I gripped his biceps tighter, "How am I going to do that?"

I felt him smile against my throat as he pulled away and looked me directly into my eyes.

Immediately, I felt my face grow hot.

His grin widened.

"Jasper," I whispered as I covered my mouth, "you can't be serious."

"Oh I am _dead _serious," he smiled.

"Oh my gosh," I covered my face, shaking my head.

"You don't have to," he insisted, "...but I think you should... You'll like it, I _promise_."

My blush continued, "Oh my _God_."

He cupped my face into his large hands, and kissed me delicately. His warm lips brushed along mine, and he tilted my face gently in the opposite direction.

I relaxed and parted my lips to him, allowing his tongue access, which he sought for instantly.

He slid into my mouth in easy motions, until our lips were battling for domination and we were breathless against each other's faces.

Then he slowly pulled away, and I shivered again as I watched him lick my taste from his bottom lip.

"...I honestly think you should let me..." he said as he ran his fingers through my dark hair, "...because one, you taste amazing... " his finger tapped my lips, "_here_."

He grinned, "...and two..." his thumbs brushed my cheek bones, "I couldn't imagine how sweet you'd taste...." his eyes trailed down my dress and rested below my belly button, "..._there_..."

I closed my eyes, continuing to chew on the inside of my bottom lip.

"...and three...." Jasper pulled me to him as his hands cupped my ass, and he placed his lips that held that sexy drawl between them right next to my ear, and whispered, "I wanna hear you moan soooooo loud... I want to hear my name bounce from your lips in a redundant manner...."

I shivered as he squeezed me tighter into his palms.

"...and I want to feel you tug onto my hair... sort of like you're doing now..."

I moved my cheek along his and closed my eyes, twisting his blonde locks around my index finger.

"...and I want, and I mean... I _really want_... to do it until you have nothing left, until your body is completely spent and unmovable... and then I want to give you a lasting impression that will make you want to beg for it on a regular basis..."

I felt a moan escape from my lips as I pushed the side of my face deeper against his.

I should have expected Jasper to have a naughty side to him. I should have expected that that sweet innocent smile and southern drawl accent were just reels... I should have known I was the bait that just got caught by his sexy fisherman ass...

But still, here I was, standing between his legs, at the mercy of his soul, allowing his fingers to tease and dip into the backside of my dress, shivering and licking my lips as I replayed every teasing word he said on repeat...

And though I was overwhelmed and blushing to the max... I was intrigued as well.

"Okay," I whispered as I kept my eyes closed, "I'll... let you."

"Really?"

I nodded, swallowing hard, and feeling baffled and teeny again, "Yeah, I mean, if you really want to. I-It's up to you, I mean, you don't _have _to, and I won't be upset if you decide you wouldn't want to... It-It wouldn't be-"

"Whoa, whoa, Alice," he chuckled as he pulled back to look at me again, "shhhh my angel. I _want _to. Trust me."

I kept my mouth open for a few seconds, not knowing what to say now that I was actually looking at him and could see his reactions. "Oh. Um, okay."

"Okay," he grinned.

"Okay," I repeated, trying to catch my breath.

"Do you want me to try it now?"

I giggled, red blush back on my face, "Uh, how about after the party tonight? That way I'd have some drinks, and I'd be more relaxed... Not so nervous."

"Whatever you prefer."

I nodded, feeling my chest still heavy and my inability to breathe. I smiled like an idiot and twisted to walk away, but he quickly grabbed a hold of my hips and pulled me back into him, my back against his chest now.

"Oh Alice?"

"Y-Yes?"

He grinned as he placed a delicate kiss against my shoulder and lingered there while he massaged my hips -- or a sensitive pressure point on my hips I wasn't aware of, that made me start to come undone that very second.

Immediately, I both tensed and relaxed against him, feeling the sudden foreign emotions in my body while his fingers worked that spot.

"Mmmm," he said in that husky voice again, as he pulled his face from my shoulder, "God, I cannot wait."

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

I barged into the bathroom, not caring to find Edward wrapping a towel around his wet, fresh, naked frame, "I am in trouble."

"Because you don't know how to knock?"

"No," I covered my face as I shook my head and plopped down on the toilet seat, "because I just said Jasper could..."

There was silence in the bathroom.

I spread my index and middle finger out, so I could peak between my fingers that covered my face. Edward stood, towel around waist, looking like the typical, dumbfounded male. I dropped my hands, slumping into my lap.

"_Could_....?" he motioned for me to continue.

"Could..." I exhaled and ducked my head down, feeling like a teeny again, "go down on me."

Edward chuckled and shook his head, "Oh."

"That's all you're going to say?!" I asked, standing back on my feet as my heart began to bounce out of my chest.

"What do you _want _me to say?" he chuckled in his back-to-being-arrogant-and-suave attitude.

I knew it wouldn't be long before he went back to his arrogance.

"I want you to say..." I thought about it for a second, "I-I don't _know _what I want you to say. _You're _the best friend. Soothe me!"

He snickered, his cockiness growing larger, "Alice, just relax and let him do it."

"I'm so fucking _scared_, Edward. It's a big deal!"

"_Why _is it a big deal?"

"Because I've never let anyone do that before. It's awkward!"

He laughed, rubbing his eight-pack glorified abs.

"Don't laugh at me! This is serious."

"Okay, okay," he said, rubbing his face before dropping his arms and looking at me, "tell me why you're scared, and I'll try to alleviate some fears."

"I'm scared because..." I held my breath and shrugged, "because... it's A VAGINA!"

"And?"

"Come on, Edward," I blushed, burying my face back into my hands, "think about it. Someone being down there... Like _really _down there... Ew."

He sighed and sat on the sink, making sure his towel wasn't revealing anything, "It's not that bad, Alice. You're being paranoid."

"_You're _the one who picked the medical field in vaginas, not me," I pouted. "I'm just the innocent girl about to be corrupted into damnation."

"If you don't want to do it, don't do it. He wouldn't force you."

"Argh," I growled, "I sort of... I mean, I'm _curious _about it... All the other girls say it's nice and act like it's the best thing _ever_... But... I'm so _scared_."

"Let me guess," he exhaled, still grinning cockily, "you're scared... because you're worried about its appearance, if you're normal-looking down there... You're worried about smell and taste and all that, right?"

He said it like he was talking about different types of movies or vacation spots. Easy as pie.

I however, was hiding my face and begging to crawl into a hole.

"Am I right?"

"Yes," I replied meekly.

"That's what I thought."

After a few seconds, I let my hands drop again, and exhaled, "So what do I do?"

"If you really want him to, but you're just worried... You have a few options."

"Okay."

"You can either, talk to a girlfriend that's done it and they might be able to help you more-"

"You're my best friend," I cut him off.

"I'm not done yet."

"Oh. Continue."

"You can just tell him what you're worried about, because I'm more that positive that he'll tell you that you are full of shit and prove you wrong."

"_Edward_," I warned, the same tone I use when his arrogance is getting too much.

"Or," he continued with a sideways grin, "you can talk to a doctor. Maybe have them take a look, make sure everything is fine."

I thought about it for a few minutes. None of those options sounded comforting.

"Wait," I said, standing back to my feet and walking over to him, "you're a doctor!"

He furrowed his brows at me.

Then his mouth dropped, "Alice, are you saying you want me to _inspect _you?"

"No!" I said, avoiding my want to cover my face again, "No, no. But I mean, are my fears typical?"

"Yes."

"And if I were your patient, how would you respond if I asked you these fears?"

"If you were my patient, then I'd have looked at you, so I'd be honest about whether or not you should _have _these allegedfears. But since you're _not _my patient, all I can say is... if you're worried about smells and tastes, then don't eat anything like garlic or onions and make sure you shower -- which I know you hate onions and garlic and you shower fifty fucking times a day -- so... I honestly think you're worried for nothing."

I took a deep breath.

"And appearance wise, everyone is different. I know you hear that a lot, but it's true. They come in all shapes and sizes, all different types... It's nothing to be paranoid about."

"What about pubic hair?"

Edward chuckled, "What about it?"

"Do guys... like it? Because the thought of it like... on people's faces..."

He laughed cockily, "Men's preferences vary. I personally prefer it to be clean down there, but a little bit isn't anything to worry about."

"Is Bella bare?"

"What?" He looked shocked.

"Is she?" I pressed.

He smiled that crooked smile that could turn gays straight, "She's perfect. That's what I'll say."

I groaned, "That doesn't help. Put on your doctor's cap for a moment and help me."

"Look if you want my opinion, this is what you do: Make sure you take a hot shower, that way you're not worried about any tastes or smells... which you shouldn't be anyways. I know you're healthy and you're a clean freak. However, if you want to relax, soak in a tub for a while. The hotter the water, the more your muscles will relax. Take in some soothing scents, like freesia or strawberries... Nothing to stern, like straight cinnamon or anything too floral-like, because it will only be a distraction and you'll feel overwhelmed."

"Okay."

"As for appearances, go ahead and make it bare like you normally do. Make yourself comfortable, that's what is most important. Obviously, it's going to be the elephant in the room when you two get in there, and you may get nervous. Disregard it and _relax_. Light some candles, set the music. Realize that you're allowing this man to get this intimate with you because you _care _for him. Because you _trust _him..."

I nodded, swallowing as I absorbed his words.

"Because in my personal opinion," he continued, "oral sex is more intimate than actual sex. Anyone can fuck, anyone can connect. But allowing someone to witness and share something that personal, it's empowering and should be decided with _trust _as the first manner, not just horniness."

"All right," I agreed.

"Also, since Jasper is a nice guy, I'm sure he'd be willing to go slow with you. I'm sure that, if you're scared, he'll take his time. Though confidence _is _key, if you two have trust, then you can tell him what you're worried about. Allow him to look and see for himself. I'm sure that you're just scared at the _new _idea of it, than the _actual _idea of it..."

He smiled and rubbed my arms, "Just make sure to not get too worked up about it. Sex should be enjoyable. There's a million and one things two people can do together, and it should be an adventure. If you don't like something, don't lie about it and continue. Tell him. And let him soothe you... The rest of the pieces, they'll fall into place naturally."

I smiled at him calmly, "You're so good at this. You're going to make an awesome OB-GYN."

"Thanks hun," he beamed.

I gave him a hug, careful not to pull his towel from him as I did, and turned to walk away.

"Oh, and Alice?"

I twisted by the door and tilted my head at him.

He grinned, "Can I say something _without _my doctor's hat on?"

"Of course."

"I almost did that to you... the night that you and I..." His hands motioned in a circle, to show what he wasn't saying, "Regardless, the point is... I was right _there_. And you have _nothing _to worry about. You were wonderful, okay? So have fun."

I smiled warmly at him. "I love you Edward. Thanks for being my best friend and for putting up with me and all my awkwardness."

"I love you too Alice. Go enjoy yourself."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I sighed, pushing Bryan's legs off of me while we sat on the couch.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Nothing."

She sat up, curling her legs beneath her as she rested her chin on my right shoulder, "Jacob."

I refused to look at her, flipping through the channels.

"Jake, come on. You haven't let me touch you hardly at all these past few nights."

I didn't say anything.

"What's the problem here?"

I exhaled, allowing my annoyance with her to show through.

She cleared her throat, waiting on my opinion.

"I don't know what you want from me, Bryan."

Okay, yeah, my voice may have been harsh. But my statement was the truth.

She looked confused. "What do you mean, 'what I want from you'? I just want _you_, I just like _you_."

I shook my head, scoffing.

She crossed her arms, slumping back against the couch, "This is really irritating. Why don't you just explain to me what I did that way we can fix it?"

"You almost fucked Cullen."

"Oh my God!" she shouted, standing up to her feet and blocking my view of the football game, "Is that what you're worried about?!"

I glared at her.

"Jacob, you need to get over it."

I scoffed again, not responding to her idiotness.

"It was _years _ago."

"And?"

"And _what_?"

"And that is supposed to be okay? Why didn't you tell me about him?"

"Because it was years ago, like I said! And _again_, we've never discussed sexual history. I don't bother asking you about all the bitches you banged before you met me."

I started to smart off to her, but bit my tongue instead.

"What the hell is it with you and Edward, anyways?" she continued. "I mean, he's a wonderful guy. He's caring, he's sweet and romantic... He has wonderful friends. What do you have against him? Why are you holding grudges?"

"Oh he's perfect, I forgot," I spat at her as I rose to my feet. "Who could forget, how stupid must I be?! Edward's wonderful, Edward's perfect, Edward's this, Edward's that!"

"_What _is your _problem_?"

"Do you want to know what _I _think?" I asked as I got up in her face.

She didn't budge. "What?"

"I think that all you women -- and I do mean, _all _of you women -- should trap yourselves in a fucking room with him, hash it out, have a fucking orgy, get it all out of your mother fucking systems, that way you bitches can realize that there's more than just one man on this entire fucking planet. That there's more than just one dick, that there's more than just one perfect smile... That there's more than one _wonderful _guy out there."

She glared at me, as we didn't move from our marks. "Do you want to know what _I _think?"

"What?" I snapped at her.

"I think that you can go fuck yourself sideways."

"Typical," I responded, throwing my hand up in the air. "That's so typical of you to say."

"No I'm serious!" she shouted. "I mean, how stupid was I? To be here and fall for someone who clearly has self-esteem issues soooo fucking badly, that he compares himself to Edward and gets jealous when he realizes that I messed around with him!"

"Look babe, I didn't tell you to go suck his cock. You did that all on your own."

"You're right, and I liked it!" she spat at me. "Every second of it."

"Good. Then go do it again because I'm done if you're going to act this way. I don't deserve to be treated like this. I don't need this shit."

"Treated like _what_? I'm the one trying to tell you to get over it, and to be with me. To be comfortable in your own skin."

"Look," I said, walking away, "you don't know anything about it, and I'm sorry if the things that bother me are getting between us, but they won't go away. It's just who I am. You're going to have to take it or leave it, Bryan, because I'm not going to change anytime soon. Edward and I have a lot of unresolved issues that Bella doesn't even know about it. In fact, why don't you go ask her _sister _about it, because she knows more than Bella knows too. I cannot stand that motherfucker, and for good reason."

Bryan followed me up the steps and toward my room, "Ask her sister? Rosalie? Why would I ask her about yours and Edward's problems?"

"Because he fucked her," I said as I twisted around and glared at Bryan.

"_What_?"

"Yeah. That's right. And Bella doesn't know. And I'm sure that mother-fucker isn't going to tell her. He cheated on Bella, then he bangs her sister, he almost banged his own best friend Alice, he banged Tanya, and he almost banged _you_. That means over half the women in this cabin have been seduced into his charm and left heartbroken or in shambles at the end of it."

Bryan's mouth was agape as she stared at me, "I don't think..." she whispered in a daze, "...that you have your facts straight. Edward wouldn't have done that to Bella. I know Edward. I know better."

"It's true," I huffed, "because Rose told me herself. The night that she and I almost had sex in this cabin. We were messing around every night when we first got here, and then she told me, and I quickly put an end to that shit. I'm not after Edward's seconds, I'm not that guy. _Fuck _that."

I glared at Bryan, ignoring her beautiful presence in those tight ripped blue jeans and black tank top. "I thought you were different. I thought you were special. And it wasn't just about your looks, or how you and I were intimate. I thought that you were going to be that only woman I'd let in, to know the real me. To see the side that no other woman has ever seen..."

I watched as a lonely tear streamed from her eye, but I stood my ground.

"I thought you were perfect, Bryan. And maybe that's my fault, you know? Hell, maybe I shouldn't have put you on a pedestal... but I did. After I found that out... anytime I think of kissing you, all I think about is you and _him_, and where his body was on you... and it's just... not the same."

Bryan nodded, swallowing hard as she looked to her feet, "You know, this really sucks," she said softly, "because with any other guy, I'd just shrug it off and move on. I don't let any man put me down or anything else... I'd tell them to go to hell. But I care for you, Jacob. I want to be with you. I felt the chemistry, the sparks between us... I know you say that you thought I was going to be the girl who you could show your secret side to and everything...."

Her voice trailed off as she looked at me. "But what you don't realize is, I already see you differently. I never looked at you like you were immature, or like you were this insecure man... I ignored other people's comments about you, and believe me, there were plenty of it... Jake, I already saw that special, secret side of you. I see your potential, your intelligence..."

She swallowed hard as she bounced on her feet nervously. Her voice was shallow when she spoke again, "Please don't push away from me."

I looked toward the wall, afraid that she was going to see my own aching in my chest and in my eyes, "I'm sorry, Bryan."

With that, I turned and left her sobbing in the hallway. And when I got to my room, behind my locked door, I let go.

All of the heartache that I felt these past few days... all of the "there's someone better" vibes I got from women anytime they'd meet Edward... all the lies and devious behaviors that he used to play on women... All the times that I lost girls to him... everything I kept a burden came out.

And I broke down.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I laughed as Emmett threw me across the water, landing effortlessly into Makin's arms.

He grinned, before throwing me into Paul's.

Back and forth, side to side, in tiny circles... my white bikini-clad body was thrown between one sexy man's arms into another...

I was quite enjoying myself.

Emmett laughed as I was thrown back into his arms, pulling me in for a tight embrace, "Are you having fun, my little tight-assed basketball?"

I grinned, wrapping all limbs around him, "Of course!"

He kissed my neck as the door swung open, revealing a pissed off looking Bryan. She threw her hands on her hips, glaring at me, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Immediately, I felt my defense mechanisms kick in. She looked harsh.

"Is there something wrong, Bryan?"

"Look, Rose, can I just talk to you?"

I held tight to Emmett, not thinking I should get out of the pool.

"Fine," she spat, not removing her evil eyes from my face, "We'll do it here. Did you fuck Edward Cullen?"

"WHAT?!" Emmett and I shouted at the same time, along with everyone else.

And I do mean _everyone _else: Me, Emmett, Makin, Charlee, Colleen, Paul, Jasper, Alice... basically everyone but Edward, Bella, and Jacob were in the pool area.

I tensed up, closing my eyes as Emmett let go of me and I sunk into the water.

I popped back up quickly, my heart strumming like a bass drum as I avoided my boyfriend's gaze and stared at Bryan. "Who told you that?"

"Who the fuck do you think?"

I took an unsteady breath, "Jacob."

"Good guess."

"What the fuck is going on, Rose?"

I shook my head, looking down into the water as I mumbled, "I knew this was going to catch up to me sooner or later."

"Whoa, whoa, hold the fucking horses," Emmett said, throwing his hands in the air as he backed away from me. "Rose?"

I winced away from him and swam toward the side of the pool.

The room got awkwardly, uncomfortably silent as I climbed out and wrapped the towel around me.

I tried to walk out, but Bryan quickly stormed in front of me, blocking my path.

"Bryan, why does it matter?" I asked under my breath. "You're not dating Edward, you're with Jacob."

"That's my point!" she shouted, not bothering to lower her voice in discretion. "That is my fucking point, Rosalie. I _am _with Jacob, or I'm trying to be. I care for him, a lot. Regardless of what anyone else thinks. And then he goes and tells me about you and him, and about Edward-"

"Rose?" Emmett cut her off.

I slowly twisted around, to see Emmett wrapping a towel around his dripping waist.

He walked over, pulling me, Bryan, and himself to the corner. "What's this about?"

"Yeah?" Bryan said. "Please tell me."

I held my breath and pursed my lips.

"Rose, please tell me you didn't have sex with Edward," Emmett said. "Please tell me that."

"Why would it matter?" I asked curtly.

"Because he's my good buddy, that's why. You don't do that to your friends."

I shook my head, staring at the concrete. "I need to go change for the party."

As I walked away, Bryan's hand cupped the crook in my arm, "Jacob found out about me and Edward and now he won't look at me the same way, and it hurts. And then he goes and tells me about you and Edward... and it all makes sense... All his insecurities, everything. Me, you, Alice, Bella, Tanya... All of us but Alice hooked up with Jacob in some way, shape, or form, and then used Edward to get away from him..."

Bryan scoffed as she continued, "Well, I didn't want to get away from Jake, but he _pushed me _away."

I stared at the ground, not saying anything. I also noticed Emmett wasn't speaking either.

"Is it true?" she whispered as she stood beside me.

"Is _what _true?"

"Did you use your and Edward's history as a way to get away from Jacob?"

I sucked in my bottom lip... and then slowly nodded.

Then I walked away so I didn't have to hear Emmett cursing up a storm.

The damage had been done.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Nine thirty. Everyone was downstairs. The music was blasting through the surround-sound speakers in every room of the cabin. I could hear our friends chatting and hollering as they danced.

I smiled, spinning around in my outfit again.

I chose a simple white tank top, fitting around the breasts and flowing effortlessly over the hips. The chest was held together by a gold jewel, and I matched it with simple white flats, and faded skinny jeans. I only wore the necklace that matched Edward's, and my watch he bought me.

Edward had told me he'd meet me down stairs. Thoughts of his presence flushed over me, and I felt overwhelmed immediately. He chose to go simple as well, wearing a white, fitting, collared button down shirt, and dark, DKNY denim jeans. His bronzed spiky disarray of sex-like hair had been decorated with his reading glasses again.

I closed my eyes and shuddered, as excitement ran through my veins. I wasn't sure exactly _why _he pushed me away earlier, and why he had two conversations with his father -- one being about four minutes long, and the other being a good two hours long... both in silence and privacy.

But I had hoped that, after tonight, we'd put the "friends" taglines away. For good.

I crossed my fingers, before ruffling them through my hair again. I chose to pin my hair back on the sides, leaving it to flow and wave around my shoulders. Simple make up with pink and bronzed colors, and two sprays of perfume later, and I was galloping down the steps.

As I entered, I immediately felt the tension in the room.

Rosalie was standing in the corner with her arms crossed over her gold strapless dress.

Emmett was clear on the other side, talking with Paul and Charlee.

Jacob was sitting on the counter in the kitchen, around about six girls, with two beers in his hands.

Bryan was sitting on the couch in the den with a blonde, spiky haired guy, seeming just as uncomfortable and forced.

Colleen was headed toward me, while her boyfriend Makin was talking with Jasper. The both of them were eyeing Alice down in that strapless, red leather mini-dress that kept riding up every time she moved an inch.

Alice waved to me before dropping it down to the ground seductively.

I waved back to her. Then I gave Colleen a hug, but there was no time for small talk.

I had one person on my mind at that moment.

And I couldn't wait to see him.

I searched through the room, rising on my tip-toes over the noisy crowd, trying to find a head of beautiful hair.

I looked and looked, and walked and perused... but Edward was no where in sight.

Pursing my lips and furrowing my brows, I strolled over to Jasper and Makin. "Hey guys, have you seen Edward?"

They shook their heads, not removing their eyes from Alice's dancing frame in the middle of the dance floor.

"Are you sure?"

They nodded, still gaping at her like she was prey. Typical males.

I sighed and walked toward Rosalie, and she tensed up as I met her. "Hey sis."

"Hey," she said tightly, not appearing to be even breathing.

I arched my brows at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yep."

I nodded, not convinced. "What's going on with you and Emmett?"

"Nothing."

I stared at her, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. "Then why aren't you over there with him?"

"He's... busy."

"Busy?"

"Yep. Busy."

"Hmm." This was getting me sidetracked. "Anyways, uh, have you seen Edward?"

"I don't necessarily keep tabs on him, Bella. He's your dude, remember?"

"Geesh, Rose, I was just asking."

She nodded, not bothering to look at me.

"Well, I can tell you're obviously pissed about something, so I'm gonna go try and find him."

"You do that."

I shrugged her attitude off, and strolled through the crowd, heading toward Emmett and Paul.

"BELLA!" They shouted, as Paul picked me up and spun me around.

"You look hot!" Emmett said, brushing my hair off my shoulders.

"Thank you much, so do you guys, with your matching black t-shirts and jeans. Very cool."

They laughed and I stood between them, feeling awfully short between them. "Hey, have you guys seen Edward anywhere?"

"He's around," Paul said as he rubbed my back.

"I'm going to go try and find him."

"I'm sure he'll come around," Emmett insisted nonchalantly. "He always does. Besides, Paul and I are under direct orders to keep an eye out for you."

"Why?" I asked curiously.

"Just cause."

"Oh...kay."

_'Love, Sex, and Magic' _by _Ciara and Justin Timberlake_ came on the radio, and Paul pulled me out on the dance floor. "Let's dance, you sexy woman."

I giggled, allowing him to pull me into his arms.

We swayed our hips, me raising my arms in the air while he matched my rhythm. Paul was so attractive to me, I couldn't deny that. He wasn't too much taller than me, maybe around five seven...

Wearing a backwards cap, black shirt, dark jeans... chiseled scruffy facial hair... Luscious bottom lip... entrancing eyes...

I giggled as he twisted me around, bending me over so he could push my butt against him.

Of course, we were platonic, considering he's spent every second macking on Charlee since we got here, and I longed for his friend... but dancing with him... Definitely had its perks, if I were being honest.

I put my best moves against him, showing how far I could bend over and sway at the same time.

"Damn girl," he said as I rose back up, leaning my head back against his shoulder, "you're lucky you're Edward's."

"Technically," I teased because I could, "Edward and I are _just friends_ for now."

"Please," he scoffed as he twisted me back around to face him and pressed up against me, "you two were never _friends_. He's head over heels for you. At least, he _better _be, if he knows what's good for him."

I giggled again, pretending to be clueless, "How's that?"

"Well," he said as I wrapped my arms around his neck, "not to sound too perverted, but you've got me standing like a pool stick."

I beamed at him, and felt two other hands wrap around my waist. _Edward!_

Immediately, my grin became larger as I twisted around.

Then my face dropped slightly.

_Not Edward._ His cousin Dean.

Dean smiled at me, pulling me into his arms, "May I cut in?"

"Uh, sure," I said, forcing my smile back on my face to hide my disappointment.

We swayed from side to side, and I allowed him to set the pace this next song. "Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Edward?"

"Uh, I did earlier, but... I'm not sure where he's at now."

"Is he downstairs?"

"I think so. Maybe he went to get a smoke?"

"Yeah," I replied, still feeling like something was... off. "Yeah, that must be it."

We danced to _B2K's _old song,_ 'Bump, Bump, Bump', _and then I was pulled into Emmett's arms, before I could even get a break.

"Hey girl!"

I shook my head, as he twisted me around in circles, "My God. The three of you are really putting Edward's request to keep an eye on me full force. What is all of this about?"

"Nothing," he smiled at me, chewing on a tooth pick while we danced. "Just shut up and seduce me. I like it."

I giggled and caved in, dancing with him.

After six more songs and about forty minutes after I came downstairs, I snuck away with a lie that said I was going to the bathroom, and went to look for Edward again.

I noticed Alice leaning against the wall beside the glass doors heading toward the patio, with Jasper hovered over her, pinning her between his arms. She had her hands on his navy blue sweater, tugging on the hem of it while she batted her eyelashes.

I held my breath, strolling over to her as quickly as possible. I didn't want to get caught by the three watchmen. "Hey Alice."

"Bella!" she shouted as Jasper leaned away, so she could give me a hug.

"Hey hun. Have you seen Edward anywhere? I've been down here almost an hour, and I cannot find him."

"I've seen him here and there," she said with a shrug, "but not recently. He is wearing a whi-"

"I know what he's wearing," I reassured her with a smile.

"Oh. Well, no worries, hun. I'm sure he's just mingling."

"Okay. You two continue, sorry I interrupted."

"No worries," Jasper said.

I breezed past them, running straight into Jacob, who was coming out of the bathroom and zipping up his black jeans at the same time. "Sorry," I said, taking a step back and stumbling on my heels, "didn't see you there."

He smirked sarcastically, not saying anything.

"Hey Jake, have you seen Edward?"

Then he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Not at all?"

"Nope. He's probably fucking someone somewhere. Knowing him."

"That's real mature, Jake," I hissed at him. "Grow up."

He nodded and patted my shoulder with more sarcasm, before walking past me and hollering at his friends to get him another beer.

_What was with everyone?_

I exhaled, strolling down the empty hallway. He had to be here somewhere... but I'm not sure why I was heading in the wrong direction.

After a few more halls, I noticed Rosalie, sitting on the side of her bed, her arms wrapped around her stomach, with a sour look on her face.

"Rose?" I asked tentatively, before walking over to her and kneeling in front of the bed.

She looked up, as tears streamed down her face.

"Sis, what's wrong?"

She shook her head and slumped over, removing her gaze from my eyes. "I'm such an idiot."

"What's wrong?" I repeated.

"I'm so stupid."

I rubbed her bare knees, but she wouldn't let me hold her hands. "Rose? What is it?"

"I..." she said, shaking her head, "I did something, and it caught up with me."

I waited a minute, trying to figure out what she was talking about. When I couldn't, I decided to ask instead. "What did you do?"

"I fucked up," she whispered through tears. "With Emmett, with Jacob... With everyone."

"Did you _cheat _on Emmett with Jacob?" Immediately, I felt hot. I wanted to kick Jake in the balls.

"No," she said quickly. "No, no, nothing like that."

"Then what is it?"

She sighed, wiping her face with the back of her head. "Edward."

"Huh?" I asked. She wasn't making any sense.

"I made a mistake... about Ed-"

"Bella!"

I twisted around, to find Colleen in the doorway, motioning with her hand for me to come there quickly.

"What is it, Coll?"

"I just saw Edward, and he was heading toward the mini bar, with a pack of cigarettes in his hand."

"Oh, okay, I'll be there in a second."

"You'd better hurry. I think his friends are looking for you."

I nodded, motioning with my hand for her to go away, before turning my attention back to my sister. "Rosalie, please tell me what is going on with you."

"I... just... Emmett's not going to believe anything I say now. It's over."

"What is over?"

"Our relationship!"

"Why is it over?" I asked. They seemed fine to me, earlier.

"Because... I uh, did something really stupid and he found out about it, and no matter what I say, he won't believe me."

"Again, what did you do?"

"_BELLAAAA_." A stern, male voice echoed behind me.

I winced and turned around, to find Emmett, Paul, and Dean in the doorway.

Emmett looked uncomfortable, like he didn't want to be anywhere near my sister suddenly. Dean looked like a disappointed father who just caught me in the middle of sneaking out of my window, while Paul just grinned at me and sipped on his beer.

I rose to my feet, brushing my fingers through Rosalie's hair. "If you need me, I'm here."

"I'm fine. Go party."

I nodded and headed toward the guys, "Sorry I removed my shackles boys. I _did _go pee, but then I went and tried to find Edward."

"What, did you expect him to be sitting on your sister's lap?" Paul replied jokingly. Dean and Emmett suddenly glared at him, and I felt confused at why it was so death-like looking.

_Was there something I wasn't getting?_

They led me into the room full of people, and I took a few shots back to pack, laughing as they teased and joked with each other. I could tell they were all really close.

_'Pony' by Ginuwine _came on, and I let Colleen pull me in the dance floor with her, promising my guardians to be on my best behavior.

We swayed our hips to the sexy sounds, being the typical Bella-Colleen twosome... Flirtatious. Sexy. Fun. Girls.

After the first verse, I swayed around to press my butt against her, and then I stopped dancing as my heart plummeted to the ground.

Edward was at the bar, with a plastic cup in his hand. Looking sexy as ever. Like sex on fire, to be more specific.

But that's not what made me breathless.

What stopped my heart was the blonde girl that was in front of him, her hands behind her and on his shirt, while she swayed her ass around his crotch, working her way seductively to the floor.

He was laughing and acting like she didn't even phase him, while he talked to a few of his friends I recognized from summers in the past.

The girl was beautiful... Not slutty. But I hated her instantly.

She had bleached blonde hair, wavy and strolling down her black silk tank top. She wore skinny jeans that were rolled tight at the ends, embracing high black heels to heighten her short frame. She had the most perfect set of cheek bones and lips... and her blue eyes were the deepest, most beautiful I had ever seen on _anyone_.

I froze through the entire song, ignoring when _'Poker Face' _by _Lady Gaga_ came and went. All I could do was stare at them. His cocky little grin while he talked to his friends, seeming so cool and unphased... and her tight, little perfect body, swaying from side to side against him.

Emmett and Dean strolled over to help Colleen get my attention, and I jerked the glass of alcohol from Paul's hand, drinking the entire thing, not caring what was in it. All I could do was stare at him. At Edward Cullen. At _MY _Edward Cullen.

I handed the empty glass back to Paul, ignoring when he said, "Uh... That was not water. That was straight Vodka on rocks. Like, six shots or some shit."

"Bella?" Emmett asked, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I turned and glared at him, "Who the fuck is that bitch on Edward?"

He took a step back from my hostile voice, and glanced over at my direction. "I... have no idea. Do you know her?"

"NO!" I said, only getting angrier, "But why is she all up on him?!"

"She's just dancing. He doesn't even look interested."

"He's not stopping her either!" Colleen said in my defense, right before I said it myself.

It was true. He _wasn't _stopping her.

"Are you two officially together?" Paul asked.

I shook my head, crossing my arms over my chest, "Not yet, but soon."

"The way I see it," Dean shrugged nonchalantly, "you've got three options. You can grow up, walk over there, and take control of the situation. You can be typical, pick a guy and make him jealous. Or you can be mature, and ignore it and act like it doesn't bother you. Because it appears to be harmless, in my opinion."

_'Let It Rock' _by _Kevin Rudolf_ came on, and I swallowed down Emmett's double shot of Hot Damn. Then I strolled over there toward Edward and his stupid friends, not bothering to acknowledge the girl.

"Hey baby," Edward said with a grin.

I raised my left eyebrow, staring at the girl. She stopped dancing, suddenly looking awkward.

"Who's the hoe?" I asked, glaring from her to him.

"What?" he replied, furrowing his brows.

Again, I glared at her, answering his question with my eyes.

"Excuse me," she said sweetly, trying to keep her cool, which made me hate her more. I wanted her to be angry -- it'd make hating her easier. "But who are you?"

"He," I pointed to him while I stared at her and ignored her question, "is _mine_."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know. He didn't look taken."

"Whoa, whoa, Bella," Edward said, trying to side step away from her, "it's not like that."

"It's not like what?"

"It's not like _that_. She was just dancing. I told her I wasn't interested, didn't I?" He asked, looking toward her.

"He was sexy. I just thought I'd try my moves anyway, maybe change his mind."

I intensified my eyes. "Well, be done with it. Like I said, he's _taken_."

"Bella."

I glared at Edward, hands on hips. "What?"

"We haven't..." his voice trailed off as he shook his head.

"We haven't what, Edward? Haven't given ourselves titles? Haven't had sex yet, as an actual _couple_? Haven't discussed why you pushed away from me this morning, after spying on me in the shower?"

"Maybe you two have different opinions on your relationship?" The blonde girl offered.

"Who asked you?" I spat at her.

"Elizabeth."

"What?"

"My name. It's Elizabeth. And I was just offering a second opinion."

"Whatever," I said, glaring back at Edward and his 6'2" form.

"Bella, you're being quite ridiculous," he said under his breath, pulling me toward his side, "I didn't do anything wrong."

"You didn't stop her."

"I did. She was relentless."

"You didn't seem to mind her efforts, Edward."

"I didn't seem to _acknowledge _them, either, did I, Bella?"

I stared him down. I felt both stupid, and hot still. I didn't want to see him with another girl... with anyone but me... Ever again.

"Are we there again?" He asked roughly at me. "I mean, are we back there, at Charlie's house? Is _that _what _this_ is about?"

"No," I spat at him. "This is about _you _not growing up. This is about _you _not wanting me."

"Bella, of course I want you."

"It doesn't seem like that. You've hardly been around me all day. You denied me, once again. Plus, I spent an hour at this party _looking _for you."

"What, between dancing with my buddies?" he argued.

"Yeah, between dancing with the boys that _you _made my guard dogs."

"It's to protect you, Bella. It's a precaution."

"From what?! From who?! From you and _Elizabeth _and your sex tease she was giving you? Were you trying to keep me occupied so I wouldn't see it?"

"Bella, come on," he said, almost loosing his cool, "I didn't say that. Don't put words into my mouth."

"Then what, Edward? Precaution from what?"

"I'll tell you about it later, okay?" he whispered, trying to motion for me to lower my voice as well. "Look, I'm sorry about Elizabeth, but you took it the wrong way. I never touched her, barely even acknowledged her. She doesn't matter to me, and I think you damn well know that... No offense," he said, turning to face her.

"None taken," she said, hands in the air as she remained calm. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No," I answered, not looking at her but only at Edward's green eyes. "_He _hasn't asked me yet."

"Well, your attitude isn't making it that more appealing, to say the least." His argument stung.

I took a step back, as fumes boiled over. "As someone who wants to be in a relationship, _you _sure don't seem to make it more appealing, either."

He scoffed, shaking his head, "Bella, I want to be with you. But you can't keep overreacting like this. It's insane."

"No, Edward, it's not. If you _want _to be with me, then you can't go and be that player that everyone expects you to be. You can't be the man's man, showing off in front of your friends, proving to them that you can have anyone you want. We all _know _that you can have anyone you want. But _I _want you to _want _me. I want you to love me. I want you to only be with me. And I don't want you to push away from me when I try to have sex with you!"

"Oh, Jesus Christ, Bella. If I had any idea that pushing away from you would be that big of a deal, I would have banged you until you couldn't see straight. I would have made you see fucking black and white only. But you're more important to me than just some random _fuck_."

"Maybe that's what I want!" I spat at him

He glared at me, looking sexy even though he had smoke practically coming from his ears. "Oh that's what you want?"

"Yep."

"That's what you _think _you want," he repeated himself.

"I _know _it is."

"You want to be fucked."

"Yes."

"You want me to _fuck _you."

"Yes."

I noticed his friends' mouths dropped, all of them. But I stood my ground.

He stood his as well. "Really?"

"_Yes_," I hissed at him.

"You want to be treated like a piece of ass?"

"Yes, if _you're _doing it, then yes. I do."

He scoffed and jerked me to him, tossing his empty glass onto the bar as he pulled me through the crowd.

"Where are we going?" I asked as he squeezed my arm tighter, my heart in my throat.

"No fucking questions. Just move."

He started to walk toward the steps, then twisted and pulled me back into the crowd, and toward the garage.

My nerves kicked in, but I held my chin up when he pulled me into the dark, cold room and slammed the door behind him.

I started to speak, but bit my tongue as he flicked the first set of lights on, barely lighting up half the garage on the opposite side of where we are.

Before I could open my mouth again, I felt him twist around and grab me, shoving me in front of him.

He grabbed the back of my neck and pushed me forward, and I realized instantly what he was doing. He was bending me over his BMW Carerra Coupe Convertible.

And he wasn't being nice about it.

Aggressively, his hand tightened around the back of my neck as he held the side of my face on the cold hood, shoving himself over and against me. Hard. Rough.

I could hear some sort of a belt buckle, and swallowed hard at the thought of what he was doing behind me. _Or about to be doing._

My body ached for him, longed for him. _Craved_ him.

"What are you doing?" I asked breathlessly, as my nerves grew stronger.

"This is what you want, right?" He shouted at me, as he bent over my stilled body. "You want me to _fuck _you, right?"

I closed my eyes as he pushed me harder into the hood, and I felt my pants tighten as his hand grabbed the back of them, lifting my stomach off the hood but keeping my face planted firmly. He was jerking on my pants. Trying to pull them down.

"Do it," I said thorugh shivers.

I felt his hardness all against me. But it wasn't comforting, like it normally would be. It wasn't inviting and warm and cuddenly... it was just... fierce. Raw.

I couldn't speak.

"You want me to treat you like some _bitch_, is that it, Bella? Because if that's what you want, I can fucking do it."

His words were venom. Straight and domineering. He both startled me and turned me on -- but startled me more than the other. I'd never seen him like this... not this angry. _Was he angry at me? Or did he want it, too?_

This wasn't sexual necessarily... this was about to be pure, straight, fucking... -- just as I asked for. Words couldn't describe the millions of thoughts that crashed over me.

I tried to push up from the hood, to see him, be strong, and encourage him on... But he shoved me harder against it, almost growling into my ear. I could feel his heart pounding into my back, vibrating my shell with its fast pace.

"You want to be treated like you're nothing, right Bella? Like some stupid worthless _bitch _that wants to be _fucked _senseless, until she can't even walk straight. Isn't that right, _Bella_?"

I tried to push up again, to turn and face him and say _yes_ to his face, but there was not even a centimeter of air between me and the cold, hard hood of his car.

I felt his hands wrap around my hair, and he jerked on it, hard. I winced again, my eyes clamping shut as I continued to struggle to find my voice.

"That's what you want, right Bella? For me to treat you like this? For me to pull your fucking hair out, to hold you down like you want? To give it to you raw as fuck?... _ANSWER _me."

_Yes. I think._ "E-Edward," I said, trying to find my words. "Please."

"SAY IT, BELLA! Tell me again that you want me to _fuck _you. I _dare _you."

I shivered, almost winced, at the firmness of his hands as he held me down onto the car. He felt so good against me, so dominating. I trusted him with everything I had... but I was still worried. Confused. Overwhelmed.

I told myself I would never be scared of him, never have a reason to be... and I'm _not _scared of him, AT ALL, even during this very moment. He was doing this because I asked him to.

But I was suddenly scared of this idea. Not of being _fucked_ by him, necessarily -- the idea actually _intrigued_ me, if I were being honest with myself -- but the idea of feeling worthless and used afterward, which is what I insinuated when I started this.

I closed my eyes, feeling him pull my pants past my hips and hastily push my shirt up a bit. His hands weren't gentle at all. Neither was his touch on me. They were _foreign_.

"Say it," he demanded huskily. "Say you want to be _fucked_, Bella. I'm ready and waiting, all you have to do is just give the word."

I wanted it, but I didn't at the same time.

I wanted _him_, even the sexy dominating him, but did I want him this way? Forcing him to do something with me while he was this angry?

No.

I closed my eyes, and at that moment... a million flashbacks of Edward came into my head.

Not specific dates, like when we first met or kissed or any of that...

Just different flashbacks of _him_. Only him. Of his twenty grins. Of his tears and heartache. Of his diamond green eyes, and all the sparkles in them that appear with different colors of his wardrobe. Of his different laughs, different smirks, different voices... His sexiness, his dominance...

All these things about him that were around me, that I got to witness... That was _my _Edward...

This wasn't.

And he was waiting on me to give my word. To allow him to fuck me senseless... Even if I asked for it, which I did.

Because he'd never do anything like that to me unless I wanted it. Truly wanted.

And I didn't. Not like this.

"Stop," I said as a tear slipped from my eyes. My voice grew weak instantly, and I sobbed against the hood, "please. Don't."

Instantly, I felt him jerk harshly from me, and a belt buckle again while he backed away.

I lay against the hood, tense and breathless, not fighting as the tears pooled over my face.

I laid there for what seemed like hours... laid there until I found the strength to peel my sweaty body off of the steel hood.

I struggled with my trembling hands to pull my pants back up, thankful he didn't actually _do _it. I knew he wouldn't though.

It wasn't right for me to ever push him that way.

Then, solemnly and ashamed, I wiped my face off and turned to face him.

He was leaning against a wooden stand filled with tools, his pants fastened back, his hands in his pocket. His face was completely blank. His body was stiff.

"I-I'm sorry," I whispered.

He didn't say anything. His face remained emotionless.

"I'm really sorry," I whispered again. "This is my fault."

"Don't do this shit to me again, Bella," he said harshly. "Don't ask me to treat you like a fucking whore."

I nodded, looking toward the concrete ground, "I won't."

"Because you're not a whore. You're not a bitch. You're not some girl who can ever be treated like she should be just fucked. Do you get that?"

"Yes," I replied meekly. "And I really am sorry."

"Stop fucking apologizing to me, Bella, _and _listen to what I am saying. You're worth more than that. Worth more than what that mother fucking dickhead, _James_, did to you, do you understand me?"

"...Yes."

"And to put _me _in that type of category... To ask me to treat _you _like that... it really broke my heart. Can you understand that?"

"Yes." I didn't know if he could even hear my response. I barely could hear myself.

"And don't ever, I mean _ever_, let _any _mother fucker tell you differently. Not even me. Not even when I'm pissed at you and losing my control. Okay?"

"Yes."

"Look at me."

Slowly, I lifted my head, my watered down eyes finding his emerald green, serious ones.

"Do you hear me?"

I kept my eyes on him. "Yes." I wiped the tears from my face, fighting to keep the rest inside. "I shouldn't have ever put you in that position."

"You shouldn't have put _yourself _in that position. I know it was with me, but..."

His voice trailed off as he looked down to the ground, "... I cannot imagine what any other man would do if that had been _them _instead of me. They wouldn't have stopped, they wouldn't have even asked you to give them the word. They would have just reacted... They would have taken your bullshit, trying to be a courageous response for what it was worth, and they would have _fucked _you, Bella."

"I know."

"I did that to prove a point. To show you that there is a difference between a man and a woman being dominant as a couple, _together_; and a man treating a woman like a fucking two-bit whore. Not giving two shits about her, or her body, or her virtue, or her feelings. Only in it for him. Do you understand that?"

"Yes." I slumped forward, sniffling.

After a few moments of staggering silence, Edward jerked from the wood and stood in front of me, "Stop crying. It's over now."

"I'm so s-sorry," I said, and the tears came full-force, once again. I sobbed into my hands, as he wrapped his arms around me, "I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Shhhhh."

"I-I was so wrong, so jealous. I got scared; I didn't like seeing you with that girl. She was so pretty, so blonde -- she intimidated me. I wanted you to want me so bad, and I went about it the wr-wrong way, and I-I'm sorry that I forced you to have to prove a point to me. I'm sorry I took advantage of that. Of my relationship -- or lack there of -- with you. I'm so sorry, Edward."

"Stop apologizing to me baby."

"No, please. Let me apologize. I'm so sorry."

"I forgive you." His voice was calm as he held me tight.

"You pro-promise?"

"Shhh," he wiped my face, leaning back to look at me, "I promise. I forgive you."

I shook my head, cupping my hands around his wrists while he held my face, "I won't ever do that again."

"I believe you."

"Okay."

"Okay. Now stop crying."

I closed my eyes for a few moments, gathering myself together again. Then I looked him straight in the eyes. "I just love you so much. I don't want to lose you to anyone else again. I don't ever want to lose you."

"You'll never lose me, Bella."

"I just love you so much," I repeated again.

"I love you too."

"No," I replied, making sure he was looking at me, "listen to me now. I _love _you. No one else."

He tilted his head at me, "I love you too."

"No, Edward... you don't get it."

He chuckled gently, "What don't I get?"

I sighed, my chin quivering as I melted into his eyes, holding onto him for dear life. "I'm _in love _with you, Edward Anthony Cullen."

The words, never spoken before in that manner... came from my lips so easily. Because they were true. I was in love.

One-hundred-percent.

With my ex-boyfriend.

It's sad that it took what he had to do to make me realize how much he meant to me. How different he was from all the rest.

My chest heaved awkwardly as I stared at him. Waited for him to respond.

He appeared to have gone into shock.

But I waited. Sat patiently on the hood of his car and waited.

I didn't even have to hear it back from him, if he wasn't ready. That's not why I did it.

I said it because he _needed _to know: I, Isabella Marie Swan, was in love... For the first time in my entire life.

With him.

My ex, and now my friend... But in short: The only man that has _ever _held my heart.

Regardless of his stubbornness, his arrogance, his cockiness, his stupid attitude moments, Regardless of the women that tried to take my spot and everything else... It was him.

Edward.

The love of my life.

I searched his eyes, his facial expressions...

And then there it was: My favorite, special, side-ways grin, while his eyes sparkled perfectly...

He blinked slowly as he bent over me, placing his forehead against mine while his eyes melted into mine.

I smiled, cupping his face in my hands as I looked back at him... and saw all the reasons why it _was _him. Why I chose him. Why I wanted him to be mine.

He was everything... And I mean _everything_.

I'd never been more certain about anything in my life.

And it didn't matter what had to happen for this realization to come to place... because it was here, and it was rock solid. There was no changing it. Ever.

All the heartache, the separation, the struggles, the love, the realizations of the _strength _of that love... It all led up to me and him, after all.

"Bella," he whispered delicately.

"Yes?"

He smiled, his thumb brushing over my bottom lip, before his hands cupped the back of my neck and held my face higher to look at him more directly.

He sighed, and gave me another gentle, calm, reassuring, million-dollar smile. "I am _so _in love with you."

I couldn't help myself. I grinned... Full of teeth, ear to ear... no bars holding... WIDE ASS grin.

"Really?" was the only giddy response that could come out of my mouth.

"Mmmhmm," he smiled, "really."

I giggled like an idiot, throwing my arms over his shoulders and pulling him closer.

"Good," I said as I gave him a chaste kiss. "Good," -- _another kiss _-- "Good," -- _bigger kiss_ -- "Really, really..." -- _a really, big kiss_, -- "...mmm.... you taste... Really good."

He laughed, pulling me against him and lifting my legs so they'd wrap around his waist. I pushed him closer to me with my heels, craving all of him.

"God Bella," he said into my ear breathlessly, "I want you so much."

I felt his need, as his fingers slid up inside my shirt, his thumbs bracing circles around my tightened skin.

Lord he smelled so good. "Mmm, I want you too."

He slid his warm tongue into my mouth, and I took all of it in, pushing him harder as he pressed my back into the cold steel of the car. Jesus, he tasted so incredible.

Suddenly, I liked _this _car a lot more. _Fuck the Volvo._

His hands grazed along my hips, my ribs, trailing upward slowly and bringing my shirt with him.

Once my shirt was off, and our tongues were intertwined again, he gripped onto my hips and jerked me hard, my ass sliding along the steel until he was pressed right up against me -- jeans be damned -- and giving me the friction I wanted.

I gasped into his mouth, clawing at the back of his shirt until it was up toward his neck. Our kiss broke momentarily, until the shirt could be removed.

We came back at each other full force, not bothering with small kisses.

He sucked my bottom lip between his lips and nipped slightly on it, before shoving his tongue back inside my mouth. I moaned as he explored every inch of me, tasted every spot...

His tongue worked me like a steady, well-trained job. He knew exactly how I liked to be kissed.

"Edward," I gasped when he let me up for air.

I pushed him forward slightly, not bothering to unlock my legs from him as I unbuckled his belt from his pants.

His hands found my hair, and brushed through it while I unzipped him.

He grinned, before pulling me into him again, and pressing hard against me, forcing me back against the hood.

I gasped and scraped my knees along his ribs forcefully, while he began to suck and nibble on the sensitive skin of my neck. "Ohhh," I hummed with a smile, stroking my fingers through his hair.

I could feel the way his tongue and his lips -- not to mention the actual, physical _sucking _-- all over my neck, in one particular spot.

He was leaving a mark on me. I could feel it.

I wanted it.

He was more than welcome to brand me as his.

I tugged on his hair, demanding him to be rougher with me. And he did, sucking rougher and biting onto my neck.

"Ungh, Edward," I said breathlessly, clamping my eyes shut.

He grinned against my skin, before inhaling and pulling his face back to look at me.

I took a moment to stare at his bare chest, at his rippled, tight abs and firm pecks... To admire his perfect physique.

Then I zoned in on his eyes while I unbuttoned my own jeans.

He smiled at me while he watched my fingers work quickly. I bit my lip as I attempted to tug them down, but his hands over mine stopped me.

I started to protest, but became breathless as he leaned forward, his mouth a centimeter and a half away from mine.

"Let me do it, love."

I nodded, licking my lips as he lifted me from the car. I leaned back on my palms, as my waist caught in his strong hands and my lower half went where they did -- in the air.

He tugged them down and over my heels, not bothering to remove those before placing my thonged booty back onto the cold hood. _Hmm, I wonder why_, I thought with a grin.

I gasped as my heated body came into contact with the hood. It was freezing.

Edward smiled wickedly at me, staring at my red, lace, inch of fabric.

I allowed him to push me backward, his thumbs hitching on the sides of my panties and pulling them down and over my legs. Then he worked on my bra, until I was fully naked and at the mercy of him... which was where I wanted to be.

He kicked off his shoes and dropped his jeans, stepping out of them quickly. I bit my lip as I focused on the huge and evident bulge in his silk, navy blue boxers.

_That _was mine too.

Again, he slid me down the hood, until I was pressed up against him in the most delicious way. And I felt him this time... _All _of him... Hard and twitching. Craving me just as I was him.

"Feel that? Can you feel _me_?" he asked in my ear, and I moaned as he pushed against me, sliding his clothed form against my bare one.

"Y-Yes."

"That's what you do to me. _Constantly_. Don't ever think that I don't want you. Don't ever say that again, Bella. Do you understand?"

I nodded breathlessly, "I do. I understand."

"Good," he growled playfully into my ear, bringing my hands up with his and holding my body up.

I pulled them away, grasping at the band of his boxers. "Can I take these off?"

"Of course," he grinned at me.

I bit my lip, my fingers dipping inside the waistband. I felt like a kid on Christmas morning.

"EDWARD!"

It all happened at once.

One moment, I was pulling off his boxers.

The next minute, I was yanked off the car and standing behind him, with Edward as my shield, while Emmett, Dean, and Paul was barging into the garage, slamming the door behind them.

"We have been looking for you everywhere!" Emmett shouted breathlessly, not even appearing shocked at the situation he just walked in on... or there was something more important.

"What is it?" he asked, making sure I was hidden well.

"He's here." Paul said.

I felt Edward tense up, like some sort of realization washed over him with cold water.

"Who's here?" I whispered, only to where he could hear me.

"Guys, just give us a minute. Stay outside the door, and we'll be out in a minute."

They agreed, not bothering to argue... which was odd. They always argued with him. They were perverts, on top of it. Why didn't they try to sneak a peek with me?

Hmm.

Edward twisted around, picking up my clothes, "Love, I am so sorry, please forgive me. I got caught up in something here, and I forgot about something else. Please forgive me."

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I struggled to get dressed as quickly as he was tossing my articles of clothing at me.

"I'll explain everything later," he dismissed my question, jerking his jeans back up and fastening the zipper and button, leaving the belt hang open while he worked on the buttons of his white collared shirt.

"Edward, please tell me what's going on."

"I promise, baby, I'll tell you everything later. But right now, I can't."

Once we were dressed, he pulled me harshly into his arms, kissing me with passion, "Please, Bella. Trust me."

"I do," I said with a nod.

Faster than lightening, we were back inside the cabin, noticing that no one seemed to be affected with whatever was bothering Edward and the guys. Everyone else was dancing and drinking and laughing, swaying their hips to the music.

"Dean, take Bella upstairs. Alice is going to be in there with her. Guys, go find him."

Dean started to pull me away, but Edward quickly grasped my arm, jerking me back to him, "And you..." he began with a smile.

"What?" I replied, grinning.

"You better be waiting on me when I get back."

"I will."

"Mmmm," he checked me out, his eyes soaring across my frame, "mmm, mmm, mmm... _Man _are you going to get it when I get up there."

I giggled and bit my bottom lip, before kissing below his ear and whispering in his ears, "Maybe so, if you're lucky."

Instantly, his cockiness and suaveness took over as he caressed my ass in his hands, "Mmmm, am I going to be lucky?"

I giggled again, unable to help it. "Yes. Yes you are."

He kissed me a couple times, "I love you."

I tilted my head, brushing my fingers through his hair, "I'm in love with you."

He beamed, "You better be."

Then Edward kissed my forehead, "Now go. Wait for me, okay?"

"Always."

And with one last kiss, I allowed Dean to take me to Alice.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Once Bella's beautiful frame disappeared with the staircase, I became all about business.

And the thoughts of what that mother fucker did to her before passed over me. And I became pissed. Quickly.

Fuming, I turned to face Emmett and Paul. "Where's he at?"

Paul tilted his head behind him, "He's at the bar, getting a drink."

"Is he alone?"

"Yes," Emmett said.

"Did you do what I asked?"

"Yep," Paul said, patting my back, "we told him that he was about to meet the girl, and we're about to take him into the garage."

"Good." I said. "Get on it. I'll be there in three minutes. Make sure you, Dean, and Emmett are all present."

"Done and done," they said as they scurried off.

I cracked my knuckles a few times, walking through the crowd as I shook my arms loose. I was going to make the bitch pay.

There was no doubt in my mind at that point.

My decision had been made.

I headed straight for the kitchen, not bothering with a shot glass while I downed some Patrone.

All I thought about was how that night must have gone down.

That night he chose the wrong woman to fuck with...

What he may have said to her, how he may have treated her... what he might have done to her.

I cracked my knuckles again, ignoring questions from some of the roommates as I strolled back through the crowd.

It was all or nothing.

As I breezed through the crowd -- the adrenaline soaring through my every vein, making me feel like I floated toward the garage -- my anger grew intensely.

Darkly.

Exclusively.

For _that _mother fucker.

_Five Finger Death Punch's _song_, 'The Way of the Fist'_ crashed over the surround sound, and it was perfect for my mood.

I loosened my body up more, cracking my neck from left to right. I wasn't sure if he could fight, and I didn't give a damn.

That bitch wasn't going to be able to swing one time on me.

I wouldn't let him.

And my friends wouldn't be necessary with that task. They were only there to make sure I didn't kill the fucker... Which sounded really tempting at this moment.

My body began to tremble as the adrenaline took over me completely. I was beyond pissed, imagining her struggles with him.

I took a few pacing breaths, working on my heart rate. I needed the adrenaline to stick, but I needed my facial expression to be calm.

For now.

I swung the door open, noticing the backs of my three best men facing me, and blonde hair from an unknown man peeking spiky above them.

It was him.

I locked the door behind me, shoving the key in my pocket as I paced the room toward them.

I could hear laughter as a suave voice said, "Oh yeah? So she's hot then?

"Oh yeah," Emmett replied on point, just as directed, "she's smoking hot. She'll have you begging for mercy by the end of that."

"Nah, I think I can handle myself."

My boys scoffed and shook their head, taking swigs of their beer at different times.

Holding my breath, my hands touched on Paul's and Dean's shoulders, spreading them apart, Paul toward Emmett, and Dean on my right.

And then I saw him.

Wearing a long sleeved, black shirt, and dark jeans. His blonde hair was short and spiky at the front. He had blue eyes -- pretty little blue eyes that were about to be _fucked up_.

I smirked, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag, before reaching out my right hand to him, "What's up man, how's it going?"

"Fine," he grinned at me, shaking my hand firmly, "How are you?"

"I'm wonderful. Are the accommodations treating you well?"

"Indeed, thank you."

I smirked at him, taking another drag.

"So," he said suavely, licking that disgusting bottom lip of his, "can I ask, what's the girl's name? I mean, since we're all brothers and everything... Can't you all give me that?"

I huffed and grinned while my friends remained silent, with arrogant expressions plastered on each of their faces.

We all stayed mute, watching him grin and fidget while I smoked my entire cigarette.

"Anyone know her name?" he asked again.

"Bella," I said nonchalantly, lifting my eyes to zone in on his. "Her name is Bella, I believe."

"Bella..." he pondered for a moment, "Hmm. Is she hot?"

"I don't know man, you tell me," I shrugged. "I mean, after all, you dated her once or some shit... right?"

"No," he said, shrugging as his brain tried to crank it's wheels, "not that I can recall."

"Are you sure?" I asked, tiling my head as I watched his facial expressions, "because she seems pretty... hard to forget. Petite, beautiful smile, long, chestnut eyes..."

"Ohhh," he said, scratching his head, "you mean Isabella. Swan. Isabella Swan, right?"

My stomach tightened as my anger washed over me again. Her name didn't need to be on his lips. Not her full name. "Yeah. That's right."

"Oh, sure, sure. Yeah I know her."

"How well do you know her?" I asked as I lit my second cigarette and took a deep drag.

"Hey man, can I get one of those from ya?"

I bit my tongue as I stared him down.

"Or... not..." he answered himself. "Well, I know her because we dated back a while. She's pretty hot, nothing to be too memorable about. Typical, brunette. Perky, but likes to whine a lot."

Again, I bit my tongue as I gritted the words through my teeth, "Is that so?"

"Yeah. I'm sort of surprised that _she's _my secret admirer though."

"And why's that?" Emmett asked, carefully watching to make sure I didn't jump and rip this asshole's head straight off his body.

"I mean, you know how girls get... sometimes a man has to put a woman back into her place."

I felt my fingers tighten into white knuckles. "Let me guess. _You _thought you'd be the man that did that to ... _Isabella_?"

"Yeah," he smirked. "Why not, right? She's just another bitch. But... I guess I'll give her another go, if she really wants it."

I nodded, tossing my half-smoked cigarette on the floor as my control grew thin.

"Besides," he shrugged nonchalantly as he looked to the ceiling, "...she must have liked it, if she wants seconds."

I nodded, inhaling shallow breaths as I felt myself gravitate toward him. Before I could blink, I was inches from his fucking face.

And I wanted to crack his fucking skull into the concrete.

My hand flew to his throat, and I gripped his shirt and jerked him closer to me, tightening the circle of the fabric around his neck, "Do you know who I am, mother-fucker?! Do you know who you just said that shit to?!"

He didn't answer, his face looking shocked.

"Listen here, dickwad," I spat in his face, lowering my voice to strictly harsh undertones, "I want something burned into your fucking brain real quick. The name is Cullen, bitch. You're going to remember that, for when you can speak it and run to the fucking cops later."

He glared at me, trying to loosen my grip on his shirt, and failing.

"That is," I continued, breathing down his neck as I glared into his pussy-filled, terrified eyes, "if I _let _you speak when this is all said and done."

"Whoa man, what's your fucking problem?"

I grabbed hold of his neck and slammed him hard against the concrete wall behind him, squeezing tight enough to make my point clear that this wasn't a welcoming visit for him anymore, "You _fucked _with the wrong woman. _That_ is my problem."

"Who? Isabella?"

I fumed, not bothering to answer his question as I tightened my grip around his neck, ignoring his light swings to try to knock me off.

His eyes widened and his voice became shallow, "Dude, she's fucking useless. Trust me, let her go. She isn't worth going to jail over."

Before I could think about my reactions, I boiled back and punched him square in the nose, enjoying the cracking sound I created. It was only the first swing.

He bellowed over, grabbing his face while the blood streamed over his nose, "What the _fuck_, man?"

"Keep talking, bitch. Give me another reason."

He started to stand up, looking at my friends for help.

"They're not going to help you, James. They're here mainly to keep me from killing you."

"Dude, you're fucking psychotic!" he said as he wiped more blood from his gushing, broken nose. "I'm out of here."

I grabbed him by his neck as he attempted to walk by, throwing him back against the wall, "You're not going anywhere."

He attempted to swing at me, but I blocked easily and punched him in the stomach.

Again, he buckled over.

"James, James, man... You're overthrowing your arm here. You're thinking about it too much."

As I blinked, I noticed him charge for me. His left shoulder hit me square in the chest, but I didn't have enough time react, before my buddies ripped him off of me, throwing him once again, back against the wall. He wasn't able to knock the wind out of me. Hell, he barely made contact before my boys had him.

"You might as well make that spot on the wall your new home bitch," Emmett cursed, spitting on James.

Again, James struggled but stood up. "This is insane. You're not going to get away with it."

"And you think _you're _going to get away with what you did?" Paul chuckled sarcastically. "Fucking women in the manner you did? Treating them like shit?"

"They fucking liked it," James argued against him.

Again, I was up in his face, grabbing him by the neck, "Is that so?"

"YES," he sneered at me, though his face was growing redder by the second.

I didn't let up my grip.

I intensified it.

I wanted to make my point clear. "By this point, James, the veins in your eyes will explode from the lack of oxygen. So you're probably not going to be able to speak..."

I lifted him off the ground a couple inches, watching his eyes turn more yellow and reddish.

"So when I ask you a question," I continued in my low voice, scarily, "I want you to just nod or shake your head, and I _might_ let you live. Do you got that?"

He nodded, his legs and hands struggling against my firm body, as he gasped for air.

"Did you fuck Bella?"

He nodded, his hands tapping mine, begging me in silence to release him.

"Did you like it?"

He nodded quicker, as his face color now matched the side of a fire truck.

"Did she say no?" I gritted through my teeth, making each word their own sentence.

"Yes," he squeaked, his nails trying to peel my hand from his wind pipe, "Yes, she said no."

"No, no, James," I shook my head, "I told you not to speak. Just nod really easy for me. Did she say no to you?"

He nodded briefly. I knew he was about to pass out.

"Did you continue anyway?"

He nodded again, barely moving his head at all.

I could hear my friends shuffling nervously in the background.

I waited a few extra seconds, and then I turned and threw him face down into the concrete flooring of the garage.

He gasped and rolled over onto his back, curling up into a fetal position, as blood dripped from both his broken nose and his forehead now.

I kicked him hard in the stomach, before kneeling down and hitting him in the face a few more times. I was so pissed off, I didn't even feel it when my bare fist made contact with his left eye, then his right, then his mouth.

I was numb. And irate.

I felt hands on the back of my shirt, as I was being pulled off of him.

Instantly, I pulled away from Dean's grasp, not caring that my shirt was stretched as I walked around James's limp body.

"Now is the time you need to be very honest, and very clear about what you say here, James. Because this is a life and death situation for you. Do you got it?"

"Yes," he gasped as his hand pulled away, the blood on his fingers.

"Did you _enjoy _hearing her scream against you?"

He coughed a couple of times, but didn't answer.

I knelt before him again, grabbing him by his shirt and slamming him hard into the ground again, "DID YOU?!"

"I don't know man! I fucked up, okay!"

"Oh, yes you did," I replied, letting go and standing up. "So tell me... why did you continue, knowing she said no?"

"Because I fucked up, man, okay?! I did, and I'm sorry."

"But _why _did you fuck up, James?" I pressed as I paced around him. "Tell me why."

"Because... I guess no meant yes to me."

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrow and grinning to Paul.

He grinned back.

"Yeah, really," James replied breathlessly. "With her, no meant yes."

"Hmmm," I nodded again, this time smiling at Dean and Emmett.

Then, before he could cry like the little bitch that he was, I ripped him off the floor by his shirt and slammed him on the adjourning wall, knocking the shit down from the shelves above him.

I hit him a few more times, this time not allowing him to fall between punches. I wanted to impact his entire fucking face, and his entire fucking stomach.

In fact, I wanted to fuck up his entire fucking _world _at this point.

He begged me to stop, whimpering like a little baby, instead of the big man personality he must have used when he attacked these women.

I threw him down on the ground again, and he tried to crawl away from me, but Emmett picked him up and shoved him back toward me.

"Look man, I'm really sorry," he started to beg, throwing his bloody hands in the air in a surrender motion, "I didn't mean it. I-I won't do it again, I swear it."

"I'm sorry James," I said, shoving him backward and enjoying watching as he stumbled around, "but I'm not quite sure you mean it just yet."

"I do!" He shouted, backing himself into the far wall, hands still in the air. "I mean it!"

I grabbed his head, slamming it back against the wall, before getting up against him again and fuming over his face, "Tell me you mean it."

"I mean it!"

"Tell me you're sorry for what you did."

"I swear! I'll never do it again."

I punched him on his left side of the face, watching his opposite side smack into the wall. Again, I held him up, not giving him the privilege of falling into weakness. "I said _apologize_, not give me fucking swears, you little fucking bitch!"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Not good enough," I said, grabbing his shoulders and throwing him down, making sure his face met my knee on the way to the ground. Twice.

He coiled over in pain, cursing loudly as he attempted to cradle the multiple areas I was inflicting damage upon.

My friends started to walk toward me, not trusting my self-control, but I lifted my hands, motioning for them to stop.

I picked James up by the back of his shirt, and threw him up against Emmett's jeep, "So no meant yes to you with Bella, huh?!"

He whimpered and shook in my hands, not meeting my eyes, "Please just let me go."

"No really means fucking yes to you, isn't that right James?"

"Please, I-I am begging you."

"ISN'T THAT RIGHT, YOU MOTHER FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT?!"

"YES! Yes, okay! Yes, that's right. No meant yes to me."

I nodded and backed away, watching him slouch down and almost crumble. "So, should I inflict the same rules? Every time you tell _me _to stop, I should continue, right? I mean, fair is fair, so every time you tell me _no_, I should keep at it, right? JAMES!"

"I-I don't know man, okay?!" he shouted in defeat, one hand rose while the other cradled around his stomach. "Just stop. I swear I won't call the cops. I swear I'll just leave."

"Oh no, I don't give a flying fuck if you call the cops James," I spat at him. "I could care less. In fact, I can call them for you. And I'll tell them about how you fucked all these wo -- no, no, let me rephrase that -- How you _raped _all these women. We'll see who does more fucking time behind bars, you little bitch."

"Please," he replied shakily as I shoved my friends away, telling them to back up off me. "Please just... stop."

"What's my name, James?" My voice was calm. Scarily calm, even to me.

"H-Huh?"

"My name. I told it to you earlier... I realize you may be been knocked out a few times here and there, but I'm wondering if you can remember it now."

I grabbed him by the shirt and pressed him back against Emmett's jeep. "My name?"

"Uh, it's uh," he closed his swollen eyes, shaking his head profusely to remember, "It's uh..."

"Come on James, five seconds."

"It's uh-"

"One."

"Uh-"

"Two."

"I-It's-"

"Three."

"Shit! What the fuck was it?!"

"Four, James, you'd better think."

"It's uh... It's uh-"

"Fi-"

"Cullen!" He shouted, cutting me off. "It's Cullen!"

I nodded, pursing my lips as I walked backward, grabbing my planted prop I picked out earlier for this special occasion.

"I don't think you've learned your lesson quite yet," I said, twirling the metal baseball bat around my hand as I taunted him with the bat, and my eyes.

Before he could protest, I hit him square in the nuts, causing him to buckle over and gasp for air.

Again, my boys tried to rip the bat away from me, but I wasn't having it, and from the look in my eyes, they quickly backed up.

James coughed and crawled, but I grabbed the back of his shirt with one hand, lifting his weak form with one hand.

I threw him effortlessly against the wall, twisting the bat around with my left hand. "NO MEANS YES TO YOU, RIGHT, YOU PUSSY?!"

"Stop!" Emmett shouted, but I shrugged him off.

"ISN'T THAT RIGHT, JAMES?"

"YES!" he whimpered through the one eye that was open still.

"Edward, quit it!" Dean protested.

I swung the bat around, giving myself some space to do some serious damage. "AND YOU FUCKED _MY _GIRL, ISN'T THAT _RIGHT_, JAMES?"

"Y-Yes, but please stop! I said I was sorry. No more, please!"

"I wanna hear you beg."

"PLEASE!" he cried as his swollen, half-lidded eye focused on the metal object twisting around my hands. "PLEASE STOP!"

"Say it again."

"STOP!"

My anger rose, "Again."

"STOP! PLEASE!"

"Edward! This isn't funny anymore; you're going to kill him!" Paul shouted.

"Say it again, you PERVERTED FUCK!"

"STOP!" he cried. "OH GOD, PLEASE STOP."

I pushed my friends away, swinging the bat close to his face, "You don't mind if I get a few practice swings, do you James? I mean, I'm kind of out of shape here."

"PLEASE STOP!"

"I'm not sure I'll hit where I'm aiming too," I said, looking at his bloody, torn-clothed, crumpled, pathetic excuse for a body, "and I just may end up fucking _all _your shit up... You know, by accident."

"PLEASE CULLEN! STOP!"

"And that kind of damage is permanent, after all..."

"I'M DOING WHAT YOU'RE ASKING! I'M BEGGING HERE! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP! PLEASE STOP!"

"EDWARD!" Emmett shouted.

"Edward, knock it off, I'm fucking serious!" Dean shouted over him.

"Yeah," Paul yelled, looking the most nervous suddenly, "you scared the shit out of him, now let's end this."

"Oh I PLAN to _END THIS_," I replied, glaring from them to the little bitch half-crumpled on the floor.

"Please," he whimpered again, hurdling over in pure defeat this time. "P-Please."

I was beyond control now. "Please what?"

"Please s-stop."

"Please s-stop WHAT?"

"Pl-please, I'm begging you. Please stop this... I get it, you win man. Okay."

"Didn't those women -- my Bella -- ask you to stop?"

"Please! I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON, JUST STOP!"

"Isn't that what they said to you?!"

"Oh my G-God," he trembled.

"HUH?! ISN'T THAT WHAT _SHE _SAID TO YOU?!"

"YES!"

With that, I twisted my body around, as the anger took over.

I saw Emmett's face of horror flash, followed by Dean's face of shock, and Paul's face of disbelief, as I swung the bat in a full circle, aiming for my target's head, and only that.

"EDWARD!" My three friends shouted, but all I saw at that point was black. And red.

I swung the bat as hard as I could, and listened to the sounds of shrieking and loud cries as the bat made contact with the hard surface I was truthfully aiming for.

The room grew silence as the bat's contact ricocheted around the room.

I watched in my peripheral vision, as my friends uncovered their eyes, and their mouths dropped to the fucking ground.

But my eyes were only focused on one thing. The little bitch in front of me, with his head cradled in his arms, wincing from me while he sobbed fucking loudly. He really thought I was going to hit him.

After a few seconds, they all looked at me.

I jerked the bat away from the wall that was a mere centimeter away from his temple, and thrusted it into his Adam's apple as I stalked toward him like a fucking lion.

"You," I sneered as I spit into his face, glaring and fuming into his eyes, "have been blessed by a FUCKING _Angel_, my friend."

He nodded, whimpering as he forced himself to look at me, counting his lucky stars, I'm sure.

But I wasn't done yet, and my words continued to spit like straight and poisonous venom, "Consider this a warning, you dickless bitch. Do this shit again, to _anyone_, and I will fucking END YOU. With no questions asked. Do you got it?"

He nodded slowly.

I threw him to the ground, kicking his limp body toward the side as I dropped the bat near his head, causing one last wince from him.

Then I turned to my friends, "Get this bitch out of here. Try not to cause a riot while you do it."

They nodded, stunned.

After a few seconds, Emmett was the first to speak, "You alright?"

"Just do what I say, Emmett."

I ignored the stinging in my hands and chest from the contact with James's body.

And I didn't look back to see them open the garage door and drag his half-lifeless frame down the drive, or put him in the cab and send him on his way -- or whatever they did with him.

I didn't need to.

I got Bella's revenge _for _her.

And now I could know she was safe from scumbags like him. For good.

_***&*#!#$^%$^**_

Once I was in the bathroom, I washed my hands and splashed some cool water on my face, while the rest of my friends and acquaintances continued to party -- completely unaware of what took place in the garage.

Surprisingly, not one single ounce of guilt had crossed my mind since the fight.

Emmett came and told me he could reassure me that James would not be talking to the cops anytime soon, which was a comfort. But if I were being completely honest, even if that bitch did run and report me, I wouldn't regret doing what I did.

Maybe it wasn't my place to go into Bella's past and start shit, but at the same time, in the long run, it wasn't just about Bella.

I took a few classes about rape and different forms of sexual assault amongst women back in college. Being an OB-GYN, rape is unfortunately something that I'd have to witness on a personal level. And some victims would be my patients.

In one of my women's studies classes, I learned that 1 in 6 women would be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Over 18 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape. In fact, every 2 minutes, someone in the United States is sexually assaulted. Over 60% of sexual assaults are not reported, and over 93% of these victims know their assailants.

Victims of rape can build the statistics having post-effects which include depression, PTSD, alcohol and drug related abuse, not to mention contemplating suicide.

And the worse part? Only 6% of rapists will ever spend a day in jail.

If, by my beating his ass 'til he was black and blue and regretting life to the fullest extent, was a factual guarantee that he wouldn't go off and do that again to another woman... I'd say I did a job well done. As a grown man, I am well aware that two acts of violence doesn't equal out, and two wrongs don't make a right... but I felt that it needed to be done. There was no other way to get through to people like James.

And unfortunately, violence was the only way I could prove my point to him. I had to give him an eye for eye.

So no, ultimately, I do not regret my decision. I did what I felt I had to do.

"Knock Knock!"

I sighed and turned off the faucet, staring at my reflection in the mirror. "Come in."

The door creaked open, and Emmett snaked inside, quickly closing the door behind him, "Hey, Bella is asking for you."

"All right."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Are you?"

"Yep. You kicked his ass good. I'm proud of you."

I twisted and leaned against the sink, so I could shake his hand, "Thanks man. For having my back and for getting him home for me. You're the best."

"I do what I can," he replied smugly, before giving me a grin. "So, look man, something's been bothering me, and I didn't want to say anything about it before the fight because I didn't want to distract you... but it's sort of eating me alive."

I furrowed my brows, "Sure, what's up?"

"Uh..." he pulled off his backward baseball cap, scratching his hair, "so... like, sometime in your past... did you ever hook up with Rosalie?"

"WHAT?!" I shouted, almost coughing up vomit. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"You know... like, sexually?"

"_Hell _no!"

He looked at me like I tried to explain to him multiple fractions.

"Where the hell did you hear that from?"

"Uh, Rose, sort of. And Bryan. I guess Jacob told Bryan or whatever, and she confronted Rose about it. It's a fucked up situation."

"Dude," I said, slapping his arm, "I swear on the Holy Bible, I would never touch Rosalie's naked body. Not even if I wrapped my entire body with condoms and touched her with a fifty-foot, infection-proof pole. No offense or anything, but... it'd just never happen, for multiple reasons."

"But," he replied glumly, "it's just, I don't understand why she'd say that if it weren't true, you know?"

"Trust me. BELIEVE me when I tell you, it's definitely not fucking true. The only time I kissed her was during that Truth Or Dare night thing Alice made us all do, and trust me, I think I rinsed my mouth out with half a bottle of Peroxide afterward."

"Hey!" he smirked, "She's not _repulsive_! And I love her man."

"Maybe not repulsive to _you_! But..." my voice trailed off as my body involuntarily shuddered in disgust, "...ew."

Emmett laughed, "Well, do you think that maybe you can talk to Rose for me, maybe find out what the hell is going on with her? Because... I just can't do it. It really upset me to think that I hooked up and fell for a girl after my buddy hooked up with her -- especially if that buddy was you, you know? I wouldn't do that to you."

"Yeah, I understand. No problem, just let me do it tomorrow okay? I really want to see Bella."

"Yeah," he smiled, "sure."

He slapped me on my back as I swung open the door, to end up face to face with Colleen.

Her jaw was open as she watched me and Emmett come out of the single bathroom together, with his hand on my back and grins on both our faces.

With ideas of what she must be thinking, I glared at her.

"Uh, whenever you're done with... whatever it is you're doing," she began, "Bella would like to see you, Edward. She's upstairs."

"Thanks."

"Uh," she grabbed my arm, stopping me from going past, "...and she's alone. She asks that _you _be alone as well when you go up there."

_Hmmmmmm...._

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 16! **

**-- No Edward did NOT hook up with Rosalie. I promise. He's not that stupid! **

**-- No Edward did not attempt, nor would he EVER go there, to rape Bella. DO NOT THINK THAT FOR A SECOND, that was not the way I wanted that part to be portrayed.  
Plus, He would have never gone through with "fucking" her - -_which is very different than rape_. He wouldn't have done it, regardless of if she said "YES."  
He was just trying to prove a point with her, show the difference to her. Bella is such a stubborn girl, she often seems to bite off more than she can chew -- even in the actual "Twilight" saga. Edward always has to teach her more of her own boundries, until she can recognize them herself. Yes, she's growing and maturing, but when it came to jealousy, like I said, she just bit off more than true.**

**-- A/N. Wow you guys. I realize that this was the longest break in updates, and I am so sorry for that. As most of you know, I had to move to Florida, and my internet was cut off for a few days. Then there was time with the in-laws, and the unpacking, and all that... but I'm here, I'm back up and running, and I have a lot more in store for you guys... And remember, the challenges aren't up yet! So be sure to stick around! **

****

And yes, the rumors from the "announcement" that was on this page pre-chapter update were all to be just... rumors. So the story WILL be updated here!! And thanks for all the information you all have pm'ed me with! I'm sorry if I couldn't respond to everyone's pm's, but I got SOOO many of them this past week, it was hard. Let me know if you're waiting on a response!!

**-- And as far as the Edward/Rose situation is concerned... please don't be too upset with me over that. I wanted to throw an interesting curveball, as to POSSIBLE reasonings behind why Edward/Rosalie hate each other and avoid each other so much... But it will be quickly resolved.  
Rose should have thought before she made excuses to Jacob, and she's learning her lesson.  
She just needs to know, even people like her, have to take the fall sometimes.**

**-- Rape is something I do NOT take lightly, for my own personal reasons. It's a very specific, difficult thing. So writing this was VERY theraputic and much needed for me, in a lot of ways. **

**-- You can learn more about these statistics that were mentioned at the bottom of the chapter, by going to www[dot]RAINN[dot]org . And if you know of anyone or are having trouble with any type of issue like this, and need someone to talk to, know that I AM HERE. Just pm me, and we can talk. You don't have to be alone in this matter. **

**And to ****ALL MY READERS****: Know your rights, and get familiar with these statistics. It is very important, because, as mentioned, every two minutes, someone is sexually assaulted.  
As one we are small and sometimes fragile, but as a group, we can climb and move mountains. Keep your chins up.**

**Reviews are better than Edward being dominant... Almost. :D**


	17. Inside Out

**IMP A/N: **Before I even get started, let me say that the positive feedback I received for the past chapter has been _extremely _overwhelming. I was a little concerned that it would turn off a lot of readers, with the extent of the violence and the realities of rape/assault being discussed -- instead, I was praised for speaking about it, and acknowledged for my personal strength. I was thanked for providing the statistics.

-- In just a few short days after posting the story, I have received over 40+ pm's from those who have fell victim to some sort of sexual abuse in their life, and a few brave souls who have admitted to me straight in their actual REVIEWS that they've been assaulted. First off, I want each of you who came forth and spoke with me to once again know that you are NOT alone. Also, I want EVERYONE -- victims or not -- to look at what I'm writing and realize just how REAL those statistics really are. Sexual assault is _everywhere_.

To those who are victims: it is NEVER your fault. Don't ever feel that you don't deserve to be loved. You ARE loved. I realize it's hard to believe that sometimes -- and trust me, I know how hard it can be -- but just keep reminding yourself about how you've overcome these battles and are coming out stronger on the end. Every day it will get better. I promise you.

I truly feel that by making ourselves aware of the realities, as well as those around us ...together, we CAN prevent it in the future.

**You guys have warmed my mending heart and soothed my troubled spirit.  
**"_My cup runneth over_"; Psalms 23:5.

**

* * *

****PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for your understanding and your strength. We have an unexplainable bond, you and I. You're the best Beta in the world. _Chin up, young one_.

**Chapter Seventeen: Part 2 of the night.  
The reality of Edward's actions comes to him when he faces Bella, and he becomes overwhelmed with what really happened to her in her past. Instantly, he tries to heal her -- and possibly his own actions -- by showing her how much he wants her. He wants to show her the good side to intimacy: The loving kind.  
The rest of the gang also experience sex, whether it be the right time or not. **

**Note: I really wanted to go through the different emotions and feelings that each character could be feeling with a physical involvement. If someone is longing, if someone is new at it, if someone is angry or resenting something... If someone is scared of being in love and then losing that person... Sex can be taken into all these different levels, depending on the emotions felt. **

**[Now for anyone who's ever written lemons, imagine trying to write **_**multiples **_**in different personalities!! 41 pages long worth!! WOW it's a challenge!]**

**-- Taking another review poll at end of chapter!**

*****NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW  
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW*****

**A/N: I suggest listening to the theme song of Ch 17 during the very last scene of this chapter. ;) On repeat. Because the emotions of that entire scene are very overwhelming. So read it slowly.**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**"I am ...  
...taffy stuck and tongue tied.  
...Stuttered shook and uptight.  
Pull me out from inside...  
I am ready, I am ready,  
I am ready, I am...fine..."**_

_**Counting Crows, "Colorblind."**_

_**Previously on TEF:**_

_He slapped me on my back as I swung open the door, to end up face to face with Colleen. Her jaw was open as she watched me and Emmett come out of the single bathroom together, with his hand on my back and grins on both our faces._

_With ideas of what she must be thinking, I glared at her._

_"Uh, whenever you're done with... whatever it is you're doing," she began, "Bella would like to see you, Edward. She's upstairs."_

_"Thanks."_

_"Uh," she grabbed my arm, stopping me from going past, "...and she's alone. She asks that you be alone as well when you go up there."_

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Inside Out**

**EdwardPOV **

I smirked at her, "Thanks again." Then I breezed past her, nodding to a few of my friends, before galloping up the two flights of stairs and toward Bella's bedroom.

I got worried quick. _Did she hear about James? Did she hear about Rosalie's lie? Was she upset, worried, angry?_

Once I got into the hallway, I noticed a glowing orange light from the bottom crack of the door, which could only mean one thing: fireplace, or candlelight. This meant she didn't know anything... She had _other _intentions.

Instantly, my heart began to pound. It never had this type of effect with women... But Bella wasn't any other woman. Bella was... _Bella_. My love. The woman I officially announced to that I was _in love_ with.

Taking a deep breath, my trembling hand lifted to the knob, and I twisted it open. Then, within that same second, my heart all but faltered. I barely noticed the fireplace, or the fifty some lit candles around the darkened, ember-glowing room.

Because Bella stood, facing me, looking like a supermodel -- no, no, _better _than a supermodel. She had the ceiling fan on, which made her long, wavy, chestnut hair fly around her face against the slight breeze. Her eyes were made up in dark and smoky eye shadows. Her cheeks were rose and bronzed, and her lips were pale and glossy.

She wore the sexiest lingerie I had ever been witness of: a long, sheer, black robe, which was also flapping open with the breeze of the fan, and it hung off of her shoulders and into the crooks of her elbows... A silky, black bra which accentuated every single beautiful curve of her breasts, matched with a lace, tight, black garter skirt, which was hooked to some long and laced, sheer, black stockings. She also wore tall, black heels, and silver hooped earrings, one silver bracelet, and the matching silver necklace that hung from my neck as well.

She apparently had Paul or someone re-route the surround sound speakers in the room, so they weren't playing the same songs from downstairs. Instead, it was seductive, mood music that played transforming melodies in my ears... currently, playing '_Closer' _by _Kings of Leon._

I don't think my chest ever felt heavier, staring at the beautiful angel in front of me. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I couldn't blink. Hell, I don't even think I could move.

She smiled at me slightly, keeping her feet planted on the ground, a good ten feet from me. Apparently, she liked seeing me frozen solid with my mouth open.

I kept telling myself to breathe, but it seemed impossible.

She tilted her head slowly, keeping those dazzling, breath-taking, smoky eyes burning right into my soul.

My mouth was dry, my heart was racing, my feet couldn't remember how to move, and my body was unresponsive -- yet tense and confused.

Her grin grew bigger, putting me in a wild trance.

I watched as she paced her steps slowly, coming toward me. She had _seduction _written over every morsel on her face, and it was very clear she had some sort of plan. The way she walked -- or paraded -- in front of me like she owned the entire world... The way her body swayed from side to side... The way her hair flowed around, or the way her eyes lit up as she stepped closer to me...

_Dear God._

She extended her hands out to me, her delicate fingers finding my buttons to my white collared shirt. She kept her eyes on mine while she began to unfasten them, grin in place on those luscious lips, not saying a word.

I think at this point, I may have been grinning, but my brain wasn't catching up as quickly as my body reactions.

"I've been waiting for you for awhile now," she said softly. "Where have you been?"

My grin widened. But no words could form.

"You know," she continued as she went to the next button, "a girl could go crazy waiting for you... All alone... and half-naked... by herself... in this big bedroom."

She was taunting me. And I loved it.

"All I could do was think about you..." she continued with a smile as she licked her lips and went to the next button, "...about your sexy, emerald green eyes... and that big bottom lip which I enjoy watching you lick from time to time... and that sexy crooked grin of yours... and that spiky bronzed hair I love to tug on... and your rippled abs which I can't wait to see..."

She smiled, moving to the next button, "Just _thinking _about it but not being able to _have _it ...it all became too much for me to handle."

"Well," I said huskily as I finally exhaled, when words began to form, "I'm here now."

She smiled, "then what are you waiting for?"

I tilted my head to the side, eyes melting into hers in question.

Bella's lips sparkled as the three sexiest words fell gently from her lips in answer, "Edward, touch me."

Of course, there were a million and one places on her body that I wanted to touch, all simultaneously. But one came to mind and topped the list.

I grinned at her softly, while raising my right hand. Keeping my eyes on hers, I placed it over half of the cup on her silk, black bra... over her heart. It wasn't steady, and the beats pounded into my palm with a repetitive, quick manner.

My heart seemed to match identically.

We smiled at the same time, and I brushed my index finger up, along her collar bone, her neck, her jaw, her cheek, finally resting behind her neck. My thumbs assisted with me lifting her chin slowly, and I took a step closer, closing the gap between us.

"I want to kiss you," I whispered to her, as my face inched closer. Once I was almost there, she grinned and responded as lightly, her tongue bouncing on the inside of her bottom lip, "Then do it."

I smiled as my lips touched hers. She instantly pulled me close by my shirt, her arms between our molding bodies.

Our kiss quickly ignited our bodies, heavier than the flames in the fireplace behind us. It was the kiss that could severely batter the will and self-control we worked a week for as _friends_. We were definitely friends no more.

Bella wound her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. Our warm breaths melted into one, the gentle stubble of my facial hair rubbing against her soft face, the familiar taste of each other...

Bella drew my tongue between her lips, sighing as she collected me. I could feel her fingers tugging on the ends of my hair while I gently lapped the inside of her mouth. She tasted so sweet, just as she smelled: like wild strawberries.

My favorite scent.

My heart was beating out of control at this point, and my fingertips melted greedily into her flesh, pushing and pulling her lingerie-scathed body against my jeans.

I drew her bottom lip between my teeth, nibbling slightly, before sucking it between my lips. Then, I released it with a _pop_, and she smiled at me.

"Mmmm," was all she said. Her fingers trailed from my shoulders and down my ribs, then back up again, to my shirt.

"Why is your shirt all dirty and stretched out? It looks like hell..." she asked softly.

Bella began pushing my shirt off of my shoulders and allowed it to fall to the floor. Then she worked on the white beater I had beneath it.

But I didn't want to talk about why my shirt was messed up, why I was dirty, why my knuckles were red and bruised, or anything else. Not now. I just wanted to be with her.

So instead of answering, I kissed her again, slowly but passionately, while my hands left her petite waist, and slid around the lace, tight skirt, to her ass. Selfishly, my palms grew a mind of their own, and I cupped her body firmly, filling my hands with her.

She smiled against my lips, causing me to smile back, before driving my tongue back inside.

I squeezed her ass tight, kneading and wanting, as I pushed her sexy body back into the zipper of my jeans. I wanted friction.

I was becoming greedy and selfish -- but she seemed to not care. In fact, she seemed to push it. Encourage me.

_Take what you want_, she must be thinking.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Jasper pulled me in his arms, while we swayed to the seductive r&b song, _'Lately' _by _Tyrese_. I sipped my Tequila Sunrise through my straw, grinning as he breathed seductively in my ear, his hands roaming in almost private places around my leather dress.

He had been doing it all night... tempting and teasing me, with his words and kissing on my neck and ears. Driving me insane. It was as if we weren't at this party at all... and there was no one around but us.

"Baby," he whispered as he gripped my waist tighter, "have I told you how sexy you look in this dress?"

I beamed as he rubbed his cheek along mine, kissing my ear, "Only about fifty times."

"Well, it's true. Every single man is staring at you... wanting you... They're so jealous because _I _have you."

"Technically," I teased, "you _don't _have me. You haven't asked me anything yet..."

"Would you say yes?" he grinned in question.

I shrugged, holding back a smile.

He pulled back, looking at me in the eyes, "Alice Brandon, will you be my girlfriend?"

I smiled, biting my lip, "Yes."

He pulled me into him, hugging me tightly and lifting me off the ground. I giggled, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, careful not to spill my drink on him. "You make me so happy," he said in that southern drawl I love. "You have no idea."

"Aww," I replied with a bright smile. "I do?"

"Yes," he kissed my cheek. "Now let me make _you _happy."

"You _do _make me happy, silly man. Every day since I laid eyes on you!"

"Alice," he said, pulling back to look at me while he gently cupped my face, "you haven't seen _happy _yet. I'm not the typical boyfriend. I'm confident in the fact that I can take care of a woman. That's why I'm rare with relationships, and don't have many... I'm selective. See... A woman that is special to me -- you, in particular -- will be showered daily with my love and affection. Not _smothered_, but proportioned perfectly. I won't try to take your identity away from you, but I'll give you a piece of me to go along with you in your own life. I'll give everything I have, a hundred percent."

I smiled, "I'll do the same."

He brushed the hair out of my face, "and I want you to trust me. As well as have trust _in _me. Both are very different, and very important."

"I do."

Who knew he could be such a charmer? I mean, I knew he was _practically _perfect... but not to _this _extent. It was as if he walked right out of my dreams... _oh wait, he did!_

We danced for a while, holding onto each other for dear life. His hands were all over my body, and I was afraid that if he kept hiking up the back of my dress, everyone was going to see my red lace panties.

It took a whole song before he spoke again. "Sweetheart, can I tell you something I want? And you take my word for it?"

"Of course."

"You are so fucking _sexy_," he grinned and leaned back over my ear, his hot breath washing and teasing me, "I want to taste you."

I covered my mouth with my fist, smiling into it. He could sense my shyness, and pulled away to absorb it with those blue eyes of his, "Will you let me now?"

Not removing my fist, I whispered, "Um... If you want to..."

"Mmm," he checked my body out slowly, his eyes glossed over with lust, "...hell yes, I want to."

Okay. My cheeks were bright red and hot now. I had never met anyone who talked to me like that... that _direct_. It made me hot, sure. But I wasn't sure how to react... I was new at this. I felt like a virgin all over again.

He extended his hand out to me and a warm smile. I matched his expression and placed my hand in his, allowing him to walk backward, pulling me with him through the crowd. He ignored his best friend Makin when he asked him to come over, keeping his eyes on me only.

I followed him up the steps, my stomach growing into more knots, until it was twisted like a human pretzel by the time we reached the door to the Champaign room. We both didn't have an actual room now, since his was first with Bella, and mine was a twin bed in a room I shared once with Emmett.

So, apparently, we were boycotting the _No Sex in the Champaign Room_ rule.

Once we got to the door, I thought my legs were going to no longer support my body. I was beyond nervous, and excited -- but nervous more. Of course, I trusted him, but that wasn't the point. I'd never done this before. Never let anyone be this intimate with me...

He pulled me into him, and we both laughed as he moved us in the room, closing the door behind me.

We began kissing hungrily, as if we had been not allowed to kiss for years. My body reacted to him instantly, and I felt hot and hazy as he grabbed hold of multiple parts of my body, shoving me into him.

"Ungh," was about the only thing I could manage to say when we'd part for air. He pinned me up against the door with the weight of his body, hiking my leg up his side with his left hand. He cupped the back of my knee with his fingers, shoving himself against me.

I grabbed him by his sweater, pulling him harder. I could feel his free hand roaming up my dress, to uncharted-by-his-hands-territory. I moaned into his mouth as soon as his fingers grazed the inside of my thighs, avoiding the area I was aching to have the most.

His hands found my butt and he pushed me up against the door, lifting me off of the ground and pinning me in the air with his waist. He grabbed my face, pushing my head against the door softly, so he could look me in the eyes when he gave me friction. It took everything I had to keep from rolling my eyes in the back of my head over the enjoyment.

_It had been, what, almost eight months since I had sex? Not to mention the countless fantasies I've had of the two of us making love whenever I am alone... behind very closed, locked doors this time._

_Oh yes, _I was craving him more than ever.

Jasper moved against me in the most enjoyable way, while his hands trailed down my arms, my ribs, onto my hips, pulling up my dress past them. He removed his lips from my neck and looked down, while his thumbs ran across the lacey red fabric of my panties. "Sexy," he whispered huskily. "I like these... very much."

"Thank you. I wore them for you."

"Is that so?" he asked as he met my eyes again.

I bit my lip and nodded, "I was hoping you'd want to see them."

"You hoped correctly."

Again, I blushed, but not as bad as before. I don't know why, but he had this ability to just break me into some sort of bashful teenager again. And that was not me. Normally, I was feisty and sassy... but with Jasper, I was vulnerable and new. It's very frustrating, and exhilarating. So hard to explain.

He pulled me off the door and twisted around. Once he sat me down on the bed, he knelt before me, his thumbs grazing up the outside of my thighs. My heart began to beat faster. He lifted me up with his hands, scooting the dress back up at the same time, until it was past my hips and I was sitting back down. I watched as his eyes roamed down my body, from my eyes, to my lips, to my breasts and stomach... resting where my panties were visible. His thumbs brushed along my legs, and the top of the band of them, with both grace and respect.

Regardless, I think I almost began to hyperventilate.

"You're nervous," he whispered, in a knowing, not a questioning form.

"Yes," I answered anyway.

His hands continued to dance around my stomach and hips, "Tell me why you're nervous, sweetheart."

"I'm... I'm nervous of what you're thinking about me."

"Do you want to know?"

"Uh... yes, I think."

"I'm thinking, 'I really care for this girl. I'm going to treat her right.'"

I bit my lip, "Is that all?"

"No. I am also thinking, 'these panties are so fucking sexy... red is such a turn-on on a woman. And it fits you well. Accentuates your color. It's very powerful."

I felt flushed, "I had no idea you looked at it that way."

"I look at anything more clearly, with more detail, when it's dressed around you. Every single square inch of your body is so perfect... so distinct. You're not like any other woman I've met before..." His voice trailed off as he removed his eyes from my body, and looked back up to me, "...You're special."

I smiled, "you're making me blush."

Now it was his turn to grin. "Then I'm doing my job right."

"Oh," I laughed, "I see. So your _job _is to put me into a putty of nervousness, and to make me feel like a virginal teenager, is that it?"

"Not exactly," he whispered slowly as he climbed to his knees, putting his lips an inch before mine, "my _task _is to bring you to fulfillment. You're a young lady, Alice... but I want you to really _feel _like a woman. I want you to see the enjoyment of what _being _a woman is all about."

I shuddered as his fingers grazed my hips again, "Wow..." was all I could say. _This type of thing only happens in books and movies... not in real life... unless Jasper is involved._

He kissed me gently, brushing his bottom lip from mine before pulling away too soon.

I tilted my head, running my trembling hands over his arms, "You know, you're really dominant, in a way. You have _all _the control, and you know it. You use it."

He smiled, "Do you like it when I'm like this?"

There I go again. _Dammit_. Blushing and chewing on my lip, "...Very much so."

"Well, you haven't seen anything yet. This is barely the tip of the iceberg when it comes to me."

"Closet Dominant?"

He smirked, "Something like that."

"So, uh," I stammered, "what else do you have in store, if this is only the tip of the iceberg?"

"You really want to know?"

"Y-Yes."

He exhaled and pulled me to him, to where my butt was almost hanging off the bed, "Well... I plan to kiss you, long and fulfilling... filling your body up with ache and heat and desire..." His eyes watched as my face heated to a new shade of red. "...and then, when you're squealing, and moaning, and breathless ...when my mouth has worked you the way I desire... I'm going to hold you down a bit, and kiss you harder and faster, so you can't get away from me. I'm going to _make _you take it."

Now I was breathless, and shuddering in nervous excitement.

"But first," he said seductively as his finger brushed along my mouth, "we're going to take it slow, and get you more relaxed, so you're not shaking like a leaf. How about you dance with me?"

I smiled as he pulled me back into his arms, while _'The Beautiful Ones' _by _Mariah and Dru Hill_ played through the vent from the party downstairs. Tonight was going to be interesting.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Okay, so I got drunk. I mean, really fucked-up, not going back -- drunk.

After the fight, I stood here for a good while, staring at all the people at the party, drinking and dancing and having a good time... all the while, resenting them for having a good time without me.

I was so angry that Rosalie spread rumors about her and Edward_. Why would she do that? Why would she say Edward of all people? Was she just trying to get away from Jacob? Wasn't there some other way she could do it? _The more I thought about it, the more disgusted I felt. _Yeah, okay, so Jake was a little immature and stupid sometimes. Big fucking deal. He's not the Goddamned Devil or anything. There was no reason for her to go to that extent. Even if Jake hated Edward and would quickly back down from her._

I downed my twelfth shot of Jose Cuervo, eyeing down my blonde girlfriend in her gold dress, who sat in a chair with her arms crossed, looking downright pitiful. _Sure, we weren't dating when she did that. But if she lied to Jake about that... did she lie to me about anything? How could I be sure? Did I want to even know? _

The answer was no. No, I did not want to know.

I just wanted to get over this bullshit. My life was supposed to be drama-fucking-free.

I just wanted be numb and not think about it. About her lies. About her deceit.

I just wanted to be drunk.

And for crying out loud, most of all... I just wanted to fucking... FUCK.

Yeah. _That's _what I wanted.

I dropped the shot glass, allowing it to shatter to pieces against the wooden floor. Then I stalked through the crowd, ignoring any asshole that tried to stop me or any bitch who tried to dance with me, and headed straight for Rosalie.

Her head popped up as soon as she saw my shoes, and she looked confused, and shocked that I was standing in front of her. I hadn't said two words to her since the pool confrontation. "Get up," I demanded. "We need to talk."

"Okay," she replied meekly, looking upset and worried.

I pulled her off the chair, and out of the room. The only place there wasn't people was the Grotto -- because most people didn't know the room existed. So I yanked her through the pool area, and slid open the rock wall, pushing her inside. I closed it quickly once I was inside.

"Emmett," she said, voice quivering, "I'm sorry."

"What the fuck are you sorry for?" I spat at her. "For lying about fucking my best buddy? Is _that _what you're sorry for?"

She nodded.

"Because Edward told me it's not true."

"It isn't."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Did you _want _to fuck him? I mean, is this some sort of like... relief from fantasies or some shit?"

"No. I just wanted Jake to quickly back out. I didn't think about it when I said it."

"Why would you do that, Rose? Why couldn't you just say, 'Jake, I'm just not that into you'?"

"Because, I liked Jake, before you and I got close! He was my friend, a _great _friend to me and Bella! I sort of had this thing for him, like a closet thing!" she shouted defensively, "But then I grew on _you_."

"Oh," I scoffed, throwing my hands in the air, "I see. So, regardless of the cause, I'm still second choice. If the rumors _were _true and you _fucked _Edward_ like you claimed_, then I would have been second choice. If you _didn't _really sleep with Edward, and you liked Jake _before _you hooked up with me, and _then _chose me... Guess what?! I'm still second choice!"

"I didn't mean for it to hurt you!" she stammered, "I didn't even know it was going to get around! I just thought I'd say it to him, end our little fling we had, and we could both move on from it!"

"You should have been a fucking grown-ass woman and ended it like an adult, Rose! Stop playing childish games with people's fucking lives!"

"I'm sorry!" she murmured through sobs. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You're damn right you didn't know!" I replied, pacing around her. "How could you be so stupid? So disrespectful?! Not only to Jacob, or yourself... What about _Edward's _feelings? Did you think about him? Or hell, what about your fucking _sister's _feelings, ROSALIE?! Can you _imagine _what would happen to her if she heard about this bullshit lie and actually fucking _believed _it?! I cannot _believe _that you went to this extent!"

She couldn't even respond to me, she was crying so hard.

"You're really fucking stupid," I spat at her. "Really stupid. I'm just... so _beyond irritated _about this. Why didn't you just fucking clear it up with Bryan when she confronted you about this? Why drag it on, drag _ME _the fuck on?! Why?"

"I don't know!" she said. "I was afraid that Jake wouldn't let me go that easily. He seemed to grow feelings for me, but it was too late because I was interested in you by then, and I just... I wanted to say something harsh and rip the damn Band-Aid off quick!"

"By lying to him?"

"Yes!"

"Well guess what. Lying got you no where. Lying forced people to start fucking talking. Forced me and you and Edward and Jacob to look like dumbasses! Lying just fucked up Bryan's chances with Jacob."

"I'm sorry." she said, barely a weak whisper.

"Don't give me that bullshit Rose. You're going to fix this shit, first thing in the morning. Hold a fucking conference, some sort of roommate meeting, and _fix this_. In front of EVERYONE, so no one else talks shit. Do you understand me?"

"...Yes."

"I mean it, Rose."

"Okay."

"God!" I shouted, cursing under my breath as I continued to pace around the Grotto.

She knelt to the ground, sobbing into her hands, "I just thought it'd go away. I never thought it'd be brought up again."

"You thought wrong."

"I know," she cried. "And I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"I am."

I growled again, as I turned and began pacing in the opposite direction, "Let me ask you a fucking question then, Rose. Why haven't you and I had sex?"

"W-What?" she asked, popping her head back up to look at me.

"Answer me."

"Because..." she shook her head, trying to get her thoughts straight.

"I mean, you do want me right?"

"Yes. Of course."

"And you say you fucking love me, right?"

"Yes! I do!"

"And I'm your boyfriend, the one you chose, am I not?"

"Yes."

"Then what the fuck?"

She shook her head, climbing back up to her feet, "I don't know. I want to, really bad! I just got scared of what you'd think of me. I never had sex with anyone I truly loved before! I never loved anyone before."

"Neither have I!" I shouted, stopping my pacing so I could look at her directly. "But I still wanted to do it. Want to share that intimacy with _you_. Be one with _you_. And I've been patient with you Rose, I have. I have been patient and kind and charming and loving and comforting... And it _wasn't _about sex with me, not in our relationship. But now... after all these fucking rumors about YOU FUCKING EDWARD, I just thought... 'Hell Emmett, you might want to ask her about that'. So tell me."

She calmed her voice down, "I was just worried."

"About?"

She sighed, "About what you'd think of me. But I guess it doesn't matter now. You see what I did, and you resent me for it. For my lying about me and Edward, to get out of a possible relationship with Jake... I'm stupid, just like you said."

"Stop trying to make me feel like an ass."

"I'm not," she insisted. "I just... agree with you."

I shook my head, standing in silence for a few moments. I hated seeing my girlfriend in tears like this. Hated seeing her weak, and vulnerable, and upset. Cornered, by me, none the less. But I couldn't stand liars. There was nothing worse than a liar, in my eyes. Sure, I could drop it, and I most likely will drop it -- since it's her. But now, all I wanted to do was have her make this shit up to me. This shit she put me through the past six hours, making me worry and wonder about whether or not she had Edward's dick inside of her before.

"Do you still love me?" I asked hastily.

She nodded, "Every day a little more."

"Prove it."

She looked up at me, "How? I'd do anything."

"You love me. Do you still want me?"

"God yes."

"Then prove it. But only _if _you want me. I won't make you do shit you don't want to fucking do."

"Emmett, I think about it all the time. Trust me I do. I always fantasize about it, all the time, and I think about it when I'm in the shower, and I j-"

"Then. Prove. It." That phrase was the only thing coming to my drunken mind at the moment.

She looked up at me, blinking her eyes in thought. Then she threw herself at me, kissing me hard. She bit my lip roughly, almost drawing blood, before kissing on it and sucking it into her mouth. She was being hard with me, letting out all her apologies to me, her regrets, and her passion for me... And I was reciprocating. Just as rough.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

My hands were shaking.

My palms were sweating.

My heart was rising into my throat by its rapid beats.

My legs quivered.

My body ached and pulsed.

And all Edward was doing was caressing me and kissing on my neck.

We'd spent the last... however long, making out. Standing here in the exact same spot. Kissing and rubbing on each other slowly... We were savoring each other.

Edward really seemed to like this outfit. I had been planning something like this for a good while now. While Edward was making his second phone call to his dad, I went shopping with Alice today, and got it from Victoria's Secret.

I felt Edward's warm, moist lips trail along my neck. His breath was tampered and shallow, and I could feel him gripping onto my hips passionately. I pulled my neck back and looked at him, watched as his eyes sparkled into the light of the candles surrounding us... watched his lips part in waiting... watched him watch me. I smiled at him warmly, curious of what he was thinking.

He closed his eyes, placing his lips to the tip of my nose and lingering there while his thumbs caressed along the skin on my neck.

I hummed, pushing the wife beater up his chiseled frame. He moved away briefly, so I could pull it from him. Then he was right back against me, almost in a hugging embrace. I could feel him breathing me in deep, lingering there with me... "Bella," he whispered as his tongue danced along his bottom lip.

I ran my fingers through his hair, smiling while I drowned in his eyes. I could linger here, in this moment with him, forever. He wouldn't even have to ask me.

I lifted his hands, kissing each one of his fisted fingers gently. Once I pulled away, I noticed that his knuckles were swollen and bruised. Some were red, others had scraped. He looked like he had punched a metal object or something. I furrowed my brows and looked up at him, as my heart skipped a beat. _Did he get into a fight?_

"I'm fine," he whispered in answer with a half-smile.

"What happened?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," he said. "I only want to be with you right now."

"Edward, this looks really bad. You look hurt... Oh my gosh," I said with a gasp, "you have a bruise on your chest too. It looks like someone plowed _into _you or something."

"Shhhh," he said, brushing his fingers through my hair, "come here."

He pulled me into him, kissing me slowly.

My worries continued while we kissed, but his lips were doing a wonderful job at temporarily distracted me. As his sweet breath washed over me in gentle streams, more and more of my brain power faltered. He pulled away, rubbing his nose along mine, "Bella look at me."

I looked up to him as soon as he asked, my eyes wide and expectant. My heart began skipping beats, I was so filled with love, lust, desire, worry... everything.

"You are so beautiful, do you know that?"

I smiled at him.

"And I want you to know... sometimes I might do things that you may not understand at the moment... Things you may not be proud of me for... But from now on, regardless of the outcome, I want you to know that I only do these things with your best interest at heart... I just... I want you to know that my love for you is... indiminishable."

I began to worry. His eyes looked so sad. "I know that," I said reassuringly, rubbing his arms.

He kissed each of my cheeks, then pulled back to look at me again. His voice was shaky, like he was holding back tears, "Bella, can we be together tonight?"

"Of course."

"No, no," he said quietly, as his fingers lifted up my necklace that matched his.

His chin was quivering, as if he were overwhelmed somehow, or sad... or something.

He played with the ring, before looking back up to me. "I mean, with no interruptions..." his eyes were glossy as he caressed my face. "...Please? I just... I really _need _you right now."

"Edward, come here," I said, taking him in my arms. I hugged him tightly, feeling his body tremble against me. "I'm right here," I said soothingly. "I'm right here, and it's okay... whatever you're dealing with, we'll go through it together."

He shook his head, as his face remained buried into my shoulder, "I'm not going through anything now... I just want you to... I want you to be safe. I want you to be careful, and I want to protect you. I just... I want to take care of you... Please promise me that you'll be safe."

"I promise," I said as tears welled up in my eyes.

His hands were holding me so tight. His hug was surrounding, and breathtaking. His body language told me that he was almost... scared. "Bella, I cannot risk even the _idea _crossing into my mind that anyone will hurt you... ever again."

"I promise," I whispered again in vow as the tears came again, "I'll be safe."

"Okay," he nodded as he sniffled against my bare shoulder. I could feel dampness on my skin, and I knew he was actually crying now.

My heart broke instantly, as soon as that first tear dropped from his lids. Whatever was bothering him was really upsetting him, and I didn't like it. I've only seen Edward cry a few times in my entire life... Whatever was causing this, whatever was paining him... I wanted to take it away, and beat it to the ground.

I wanted to destroy it.

I held him tighter, squeezing onto him for dear life. "Edward, please tell me what's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine love," he said as he rubbed his face off on my shoulder. He waited a few seconds before pulling back to look at me. And though his smile was gentle, I could see the redness in his eyes...

I didn't know what to do, or what to say. I didn't know what was wrong. So I frowned at him, and ached to soothe him. My heart was clenching, my throat was tight... I just loved him so much.

I knew something was wrong... The bruises, the stretched clothing, the cuts on his hands... I knew he must have gotten into a fight. It was obvious. _But with who? Was it with Jacob? For what? Should I bring it up? Or would that make it worse? _

"We don't have to do anything," I whispered as the realizations of my outfit set back into my mind. I'm sure throwing myself at him wasn't the best of plans, after all.

He quickly shook his head, and this time, his warm smile met his eyes, "I want to... Do you?"

"...Yes," I whispered as my breath caught in my throat.

He pulled me back into his arms, kissing my forehead. "Just us tonight," he whispered.

I nodded, rubbing his back, "Just us."

He lifted my face, kissing me again. It wasn't harsh or rough... but sensitive, and sweet... Caressing, and longing.

He pulled away, and the sadness and redness in his eyes were replaced with pure love and devotion. His smile grew wide, his eyes glistened with warmth.

He began walking forward, pushing me with him, until I was headed toward the door. Then he reached between my arms, locking the door to guarantee we wouldn't be interrupted. I already locked the bathroom door, before he even got upstairs to the room.

No one was coming in tonight.

Edward ran his lips along mine, but didn't kiss me. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you," I replied, butterflies kicking in again.

"Really, _really_... beautiful."

"Thank you again," I said.

"...And, I never told you this," he said as he brushed my hair off my shoulders, "...but the only woman I've ever called _beautiful _was you. No one else. Ever."

There he goes again, melting my heart. I gave him a nod, still trying to catch my breath. He looked back up to me, his lips parted. His eyes were so reassuring, so warm. So filled.

Edward was really opening up to me... I could feel all of his walls just crashing down to the ground, back, to back, to back... until he was standing here in front of me... Just me and him.

I couldn't speak, that was a given. I was too overwhelmed. So I did the only thing I could do. I pulled him to me, and kissed him back. Gave him my answer that way.

And he smiled, wrapping his arms around me and reciprocating with his own response. Tingles shot through my body, nerves crashed over my butterflies... I felt like I was having some sort of an outer-body experience.

And I loved him for giving it to me.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I lay on my stomach, feeling Jasper's warm hands caressing my back and shoulders. He was, by far hands down, the best massage therapist known on the planet. He has spent the past thirty minutes rubbing me down... My shoulders, my neck, my arms, my stomach, my legs, my feet, my back... Even the delicate and over-looked areas, like the crooks in my elbows, the spot behind my ears, the middles of each finger, and the small of my back.

"Mmmm," I hummed as his hands worked their magic on a kink on my neck, "that feels so good."

"I'm glad," he responded, scooting up the side of my body and hovering over me. "Would you mind if I unzipped the back of the dress? Make you more comfortable?"

"I don't mind," I whispered, ignoring the butterflies kicking in.

I listened to the sound of the zipper exposing my flesh on my back, and took a deep breath once the zipper stopped right above the indent on my butt. Jasper began to kiss me, on the back of my neck below my hair -- which was very sensitive -- down my spine slowly, massaging my sides, trailing his nose and hot breath as he went. He took his time as he kissed me, savoring me... making sure I was comfortable.

"You smell so good," he whispered as his nose grazed circles along the small of my back, "what is it?"

I smiled, biting my lip as I looked over my shoulder at him, "Lilac."

"I love it."

I watched as he placed another kiss on the small of my back, and involuntarily, I lifted my hips off the bed, so he could kiss it harder. I didn't know it was a sensitive area there, not until he touched it. Every single time he did, my body felt like it was on fire.

"How are you feeling?" he asked soothingly.

"Like a million bucks," I smiled.

"No... not yet," he teased as he flipped me around slowly, to where I was laying on my back. "Alice, I..." his voice trailed off as he ducked his head, looking somewhat stressed suddenly.

I sat up on my elbows, as my heart began to clench, "What is it?"

He looked up at me and smiled, "It's nothing... never mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he said as he crawled up toward me, "just a thought I had, sort of caught up in the moment and all. No biggie."

"Oh," I nodded, "all right. If you're sure."

"I am," he grinned. "Now where were we?" He leaned over and kissed me. I allowed him to fall on top of me, pushing me into the pillows as our kiss grew fire. His hands trailed down my arms, my ribs, and my hips, and I felt him lift me up against him, providing some serious much-needed friction.

My fingers yanked through his hair, pushing his face into mine. I felt ignited, and a trembling concoction of flames and passion. "Jasper," I gasped as he went to suck on the left side of my neck. "Unh!" A million thoughts raced through my mind -- all of them being dirty -- and they kept chanting at me. Taunting me. "Jasper," I gasped again, blinking to clear my thoughts as he pushed me into the mattress and bit on my neck.

"Yes?"

"I uh," my body felt hotter, if possible, and I felt as if I was going to pass out. "I uh... um..." I've never been overwhelmed like this, and I've been with a few guys to know a few things about sex. But now, I was being driven into obscenity.

"Yes love?" he pressed again as he began to suck on the other side of my neck. I could feel him straining into the confinements of his jeans pressed against my thigh as he ground against me.

_Just say it, Alice. Just say it, just say it. _"I think I'm ready for you to take my dress off!" I said, exhaling loudly.

Jasper froze for a second, his lips lingering on my tight skin. Then he lifted himself on his elbows above me, and grinned at me. "Really?"

"Yes," I said breathlessly, pushing his hips down onto me again, "_Please_. I'm ready."

"All right," he said, kissing my lips, then my chin, then my collar bone. I watched as he slithered down my body like a snake, pulling my dress down as he went. I helped him by lifting my hips off the mattress. He smiled, continuing his pull until I was lying on the bed topless, with simple red lace panties.

_Thank God Bella and I went to Victoria's Secret today to get them_. He really liked them!

"Jesus Christ, Alice," he said as he deposited the leather mini dress on the carpet and hovered over me, "you look so sexy."

I slid my legs around the mattress, rubbing my knees together, in order to soothe the pulsing inside my body. I didn't care too much about being shy anymore. I was already half-way there. One more article of clothing, and I'd be nude. There wasn't a point in being timid. Because there was no way I was backing out. I needed this too much. I wanted all the fantasies I had of him to come true.

He knelt before me, his hands rubbing my knees. I bit my lip, refusing to pry my legs apart. Not because I was holding back, but because I didn't want the friction to go away. He smiled, his thumb caressing the top of my knee. Then he leaned back a bit, and yanked his navy blue sweater from above his head.

I couldn't help when my mouth popped open. Every time I saw him shirtless, it did it. From his pecks, to his six-pack abs, to the magical treasure trail dipping into his jeans... I licked my lips, thinking about what else was under those jeans and how badly I wanted to _kiss _the secret ingredients past the zipper.

_Giving _wasn't part of my fear. I've done that before and I quite enjoy it... the _receiving _part of it was my fear.

He chuckled, and leaned forward, placing his lips on my knee caps. Again, he found another sensitive area I wasn't aware I had, and I gasped. _He's so damn good at that!_

I watched as he parted his lips and licked along my knee, causing me to almost shudder. As he licked, I felt my body tense, and the pressure build in my stomach. His hands massaged my calves and before I even realized it, he had my legs parted. So whatever his mouth was doing made me completely lose my guard. _Great_.

I arched my back and continued to relax, watching his warm lips trail down the inside of my right thigh. I wanted to squeal, sure, but I didn't. He kissed and licked delicately, his pressure light as a feather, until he rested an inch from the panty line.

I bit my lip, watching him smirk as he brushed his nose along the seam against my inner thigh. I noticed that my body was pretty much like a live wire, completely sensitive and hyper-aware of every touch he was giving me.

Then I realized that he had his hands cupping beneath my ass, and he was scooting me down the bed a bit. My heart began to pound while I watched him breathe across my panties_. Oh dear God, oh dear God, oh dear God, oh dear God. _His breath was hot and it tickled. It didn't nearly provide any friction, but it surely did assist him in teasing me.

Gasping, I clamped my eyes shut. A moan escaped from my lips, but as soon as it began to feel _really _good, he went over to my other thigh. I dropped back onto the bed, feeling a little frustrated. _Here I was, moments before, being shy and virginal Alice... now all I wanted to do was just... grr!! Bang him into the wall!_

I shuddered as he licked the inside of my leg. A million dirty thoughts crossed my mind, though I knew I'd never be brave enough to say them or do them in real life. Thoughts like ripping my own clothes off and assisting him, thoughts of wrapping my legs around his head, thoughts of just pure animalistic sex... Jasper was torturing me and I both liked and hated it. "Mmm, Jasper," I gasped as he licked near the seam of the panties again. Every single move he made with his tease caused me to hyperventilate, and shudder simultaneously.

After a few minutes of him massaging my legs and making me more comfortable, I opened my eyes to find him with his chin resting on my pelvic bone, just smiling at me. Immediately, blush filled my cheeks. _How long had he been watching me? Was I moaning too loudly? Oh Lord!_

"What?" I asked sheepishly.

"Nothing. Just watching you."

"Watching me _what_?" I asked, cheeks growing hotter.

"Lose your breath. I seem to have that affect on you."

"Yes, it appears you do."

"Mmm." His thumbs slid beneath the sides of my panties, and I watched as he licked his lips in anticipation.

_Oh shit! Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, it's going to happen! _"Wait!" I gasped, reaching out to stop him. Instantly, he moved his hands back and looked at me, trying to figure out why I wasn't ready.

"Maybe I could, uh..." I bit my lip as I sat and crawled to my knees toward him. I twisted him around to where he was sitting on the bed and I was straddling him. His blue eyes searched mine in question and concern, but I just smiled and kissed him. Once I pulled away, I grinned and tugged on his hair, "I want to do _you _first."

His eyes widened and his grin grew ten feet, "What?"

"Yes, you heard me. Will you let me?"

"I didn't know you liked to do th-"

"I do," I insisted, pushing him back on the bed. He watched me as I crawled down his legs, unfastening his jeans quickly. "I want to."

He allowed me to pull him out of his pants, and my mouth began to crave him like he was the last drop of water. He was big and thick and hard and ready -- only for me.

Now it was my turn to show him my skills, and maybe it'd help me relax. _Payback time!_

* * *

**JacobPOV**

After about my twentieth shot, I became cornered in the hallway by a blonde girl whose name I couldn't remember. She shoved herself against me, kissing on my neck.

I don't remember how I even began talking to her. One minute I noticed her standing around the group of me and my friends, chugging shots with the rest of us, and the next, we were in the fucking hallway.

This was normal for me back in Seattle. I had random hook-ups all the fucking time, and it wasn't a big deal. I've always been confident in the fact that I could please a woman with the click of my fingers.

But tonight, it was different. All I could think about was Bryan, and Bella, and Rosalie, and Tanya... all the girls I had some sort of sexual relations with.

I decided right then and there that I was going to go back to being the cocky dick I was before I got to this cabin. I can be the friend to Rose and Bella, because I've had them in my lives forever. We could get over the stupid shit. No more emotions, no more getting caught up in fucking drama. No more attachments. And no more stress over Edward. Fuck all of that.

_Black was back._

I twisted her around and shoved her into the wall, lifting her body from the ground as my mouth took hers over.

I had watched Bryan eye me down throughout the party, while she was dancing with this tall, blonde, spiky-haired fella, letting him grab handfuls of her ass and suck on her neck and shit. There was no doubt in my mind that she was going to fuck him, and watching her hold his hands and take him upstairs only proved that to me.

Not to mention that a few hours after I left my room from my breakdown, right before the party, Bryan and I got into yet another argument. She told me that she wanted to be with me but if I couldn't accept the fact that she messed around with Edward first, then I couldn't accept her.

Because I was so selfish and stubborn, I told her that she appeared to only want a fuck buddy out of me, and I didn't give two shits what she did.

Naturally, that wasn't true. I knew Bryan meant more to me, and I had no intentions of hooking up with anyone else. I just thought we'd ignore each other during the party, sleep alone for the night, force ourselves to talk in the morning, and we'd have sex later tomorrow night and forget about all this shit.

But right before I began swallowing handfuls of Jack, I watched her suck his tongue into her mouth and his hands on her breasts, kneading her through the fabric. That was when I began my shot overdose, and flirting with the nameless, c-cup, size 2 blonde.

She gasped and clawed at me, tugging on my shirt. I jerked my face back from hers, ripping her hands from my clothing. "Don't fucking rip it," I said breathlessly as I pushed my hardness against her clothed form.

"Oh god," she gasped, clenching her legs around me, "I wanted to fuck you since I saw you earlier tonight."

I dropped her back to the ground, and unfastened her jeans and zipper, "Oh yeah?"

"Yes. I thought you were so sexy, I knew I had to have you."

I smirked, pulling her pants down, and not giving a fuck about the party in the den that was right around the corner, "Is that so?"

"Yes, that's so," she giggled drunkenly.

I didn't want to fucking talk to her. I just wanted to get mine. So I put my shoe on her pants and lifted her back in the air, leaving her pants on the ground behind her.

"Tell me how bad you want me," I said while she clung to me.

"Oh god, so fucking badly!"

I greedily unbuckled my belt and unzipped my jeans, not bothering to pull them down. Her hands found my cock and she sprang me from the confinements of my jeans, her eyes marveling at my form.

She bit her lip while my fingers slid between her legs, soaking up the pool that formed there.

"You're ready for me, aren't you?" I smirked. No prep was required. Fast and easy.

"Yes."

I pulled my form from her hands and slid a condom on. "You know I'm going to fuck you until you cannot walk, right?"

"Please, Jake."

_Hmm. She remembered _my _name. I should feel like an ass. ...But I don't._

Instead, I grabbed her hips and thrusted myself into her. I didn't quite fit inside her, because she was small, but after a couple readjustments of her legs, and a few gritted teeth later, I slammed into her at a different angle. She gasped and clawed at me, shouting my name on repeat.

I hit inside her hard, forcing her body to take me in. I could feel the pulsing of her muscles around me, and it only drove me further. I could feel myself on the back of her, breaking down barriers inside her quivering thighs.

It got to the point to where I thought I was going to push her into the wall and knock the fucking thing down.

She gasped and clawed and moaned and begged until she couldn't even _talk _because she was so overtaken and so breathless... I kept going though, getting all the _Bryan _shit out of my system for good. I pounded into her relentlessly, dragging her body up and down the wall harshly, at my leisure.

Because she was allowing it and I needed it.

"Ugh," she gasped, biting down into my neck. "Oh god, oh god, oh god!"

I worked my fingers on her while I pumped through her body, sweating and panting against her equally clammy and tight skin. She yanked on my hair, bit on my lip, clawed on my neck, and begged me to never stop.

I'm not sure how long it took. I'm not sure how I fucking handled myself for so long, since I was that fucking drunk.

But I waited until she got hers before I finally released. I figured that if I was going to fuck her, I should at least give her hers first. _Give her that much. _

Her body milked every single drop from my body, and I panted breathlessly against her shivering form for a few moments. My weak body held hers suspended in the air, and the wall held us both up.

"Jake," she cooed as she stroked through my damp hair, "that was so good. Oh my God, I can't even feel my toes."

I smirked and placed her on the ground, enjoyed watching her legs shake as she struggled to dress, and I refastened my pants. I let my belt hang and licked my lips, watching her continue to shake and struggle.

It took her three whole minutes just to fasten the button back on her jeans. _I fucked you good. _And when she took a step toward me, I noticed she was having trouble walking. _Really good._

"You good?" I asked her, catching her and steadying her out.

"Oh yes, I'm fine. The pain is worth it."

"How old are you?"

She grinned, "I'll be eighteen in a few months. And you?"

_Holy shit. I just fucked a minor. _"Older," was all I replied as I ran my fingers through my hair nervously.

"Holly?"

_That was her name!_

We both turned to see Paul, Edward's friend, standing at the end of the hall with a beer and a concerned look on his face. He strolled toward us nonchalantly, "I have been looking for you everywhere. Where have you been?"

I lit a cigarette, smirking. _I just fucked a minor. I'm going straight to hell._

"I've been talking to Jake," she said as she stroked my arm. "Stop being so overprotective, Paul."

"I can't help it. I invite you over here to see all my friends and enjoy the party, and then suddenly, my intoxicated little sister goes fucking missing. What do you expect?"

"I'm fine," she said.

Then it really hit me: _I just fucked Paul's little sister._

I couldn't help myself, I started laughing. It may have been that all those shots sunk in, or the fact that my luck couldn't get any better than this, but I just bellowed out. I became cocky and arrogant, laughing while my cigarette lingered in my fingers.

"What's so funny, man?"

"Nothing," I smirked_. But the fact that I just fucked your sister._

"Holly, let's get back to the party."

She lingered behind him as he turned and headed toward Dean and Makin. I grinned at her, taking a drag of my cigarette.

"So," she said, "that's my brother, Paul."

"Oh yeah, I know Paul. He's special."

"Yeah," she laughed. "This will be our little secret, right?"

"Sure," I said as I pulled the used condom from behind my back and threw it away in the bathroom trash. "No worries."

She pulled my cell from my jeans pocket and quickly entered her digits into it. "I hope you call me sometime. Maybe we can do this again?"

"When do you turn eighteen?" I asked as I put the cigarette out on the wooden floor and kicked it to the wall.

"April 4th," she beamed as she kissed my cheek.

"I'll call you after that then."

She giggled, "Okay."

I enjoyed watching her twist and head back toward the party. Watching her legs shiver from the excitement she had, that _I _gave her.

Let's recall: Single again, _check_. Drunk at a party, _check_. Fucking random hot chicks at a party, _check_. Having them ask for more later, _check_.

"Excuse me, Jake?"

I twisted around, and found a beautiful brunette with legs for days biting her lip as she looked at me. I talked to her briefly throughout the party, and couldn't help but stare at her beautiful body and those legs.

"Yes?"

"I was looking for you," she said as she tilted her head and walked toward me. "I hope I'm not bothering you."

"Not at all," I grinned at her, watching her lift her finger and trace along my black t-shirt. "What can I do ya for?"

"Um," she bit her lip as she batted her lashes at me. "I was wondering... are you single?"

"Yes."

"You seem to have been bored at the party... You need entertainment. Are you, uh, looking to have some fun tonight?"

I grinned, gripping onto her hips. "With you?"

"Maybe," she teased, but her eyes said every single thing she was really wanting. _Women were so fucking predictable._

"Aww, don't do me like that," I said sexily, playing into her game. "No fucking games."

"Okay," she said as she pulled me against her and walked backward.

I followed her into the bathroom, kicking the door shut behind me. "Wait, wait," I said, pulling away from her lips, "how old are you?"

"I'm twenty one," she said. "Why?"

"Nothing. What is your name?"

"Cheyenne."

"Well Cheyenne, what are you planning on doing with me in the bathroom?"

I watched as she sat on the sink and pulled me between her legs. Her fingers began to unfasten my jeans. "Take a guess."

I grinned, pulling her skirt up. _Oh yes. Black was definitely fucking back._

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I pulled myself up from Bella's form, smiling at her. It had been too long since we've been here, and thoughts from our first night back at the cabin, where we made love in the adjourning room, flashed back into my head. That was a wonderful night... but _this night _would be better.

She lifted her hand, caressing my face.

I smiled, inhaling her scent. She looked so perfect beneath me, so angelic in the dim candlelight. I brushed a few stray bangs from her eyes, kissing her lids afterward. "Isabella, I love you very much."

I leaned down, burying my face into her cleavage and greedily taking more of her scent in. The enjoyment of her fingers brushing through my hair sent tingles through my relaxed frame. I shuffled above her, pressing my warm cheek into the side of her left breast, wishing that she was out of this bra. I wanted skin to skin contact.

Her nails delicately scraped along my shoulder blades, and I shuddered again. She giggled and I lifted my head just in time to see her bite her lip and suck it in her mouth. I licked mine instinctively and slid up her body, planting a kiss on her chin. Then I brushed away more of her hair. "Sweetheart, may I take this off?" I asked, lifting on a strap of her bra.

She bit her lip again, "Yes."

I carefully climbed to my knees and brought her with me into a sitting position. I kissed along her shoulder and neck, unfastening the clasp behind her with a couple fingers. Once it was undone, I slid the straps down her shoulders slowly, kissing each inch of skin on her left arm after the strap passed by.

She shivered once the bra was removed, and I smiled against the inside of her wrist, before kissing there too. She pulled herself to her knees and climbed into my lap, straddling my legs. We lingered for a moment, holding onto each other, and then dipped in slowly, kissing. As soon as our lips touched, that electric current washed back through, causing us both to gasp and pull away. We smiled at each other, dazed-like, and then crashed into each other again, kissing hungrily. The current swam between us like a flowing river, drowning us and driving us higher.

I drew Bella's tongue in my mouth, sucking on it before working on her lips. She fisted into my hair again, thrusting her body against me. I gripped onto her hips, grounding her around my lap, giving us both the friction we needed.

But it wasn't enough. I groaned and reluctantly pulled away. Bella pushed me hard, climbing down my legs once I lay back on the bed. I threw my hands in the air and waited while she unfastened my jeans. I grinned and flipped her over on her back, and her feet worked with mine to help kick the jeans off onto the floor.

I held her down onto the mattress with her shoulders, bringing my mouth to hover over her beautiful breasts. I'd never seen anything as perfectly proportioned as they were on her. I kneaded them with my palms, slowly applying pressure through time, but avoiding the most sensitive areas... those would be saved for my tongue.

Her chest heaved beneath me as she played with my hair, allowing me to do with her as I craved. "Edward," she gasped when my touch teased her too much, "please. More."

I grinned, breathing hot air over her. I loved it when she begged... When she _craved _me. I looked up at her, locking her eyes while I deposited my tongue onto her left nipple, circling around it. Instantly, she arched her back to me, demanding more pressure. I held her back down onto the mattress with my right arm, while my left hand worked her other breast. I was taking my time with her. She tasted so sweet, so pure around my tongue. I gently nibbled on it, causing her to gasp and moan loudly. Then I sucked it between my lips, flicking my tongue with it inside.

"Ungh, yes," she shouted, arching her back and tugging on my hair harder.

I flicked my tongue again with increasing urgency, matching the strokes of my thumb and forefinger on her other breast. Gliding the silken side of my tongue along her peak, I moved both my hands down to her ribs and lifted her for better access.

"Mmm," she moaned, allowing me to suspend her in the air beneath me. "Ohh, _yes_."

I pulled my lips away and, holding her body still, I pushed her forward into the pillows. She understood what I was trying to do, and willingly spread her knees for me, so I could position myself between them easier. Once her belly button was beneath my chin, I placed her comfortably back onto the mattress, breathing my hot air across her taught skin.

Her fingers found my shoulders, and I think her body was overtaking her conscious, because she began to push me lower, telling me with the arch of her back and the force in her arms that she wanted me lower. But I wanted to _hear _her say it, to ask for it, or hell, even to _demand _it. "Tell me what you want, Bella. Tell me and I'll oblige."

"Edward, please," she gasped, her nails digging into my flesh.

"Please what?"

"Mmm, please. I'm _dying _here. I need it."

I grinned, brushing my nose along her lacey, black skirt above her sex. "Need _what_, my love?"

"Ungh, please," she whimpered, trying to push me still.

"Tell me baby," I said, placing a kiss over her sex and lingering my breath onto the skirt. "Tell me."

"Your tongue," she panted. "Your tongue, your lips, your touch, your... anything. Oh God, I'm burning up. It's hot in here, is it hot in here to you?" She blew her hair out of her face, releasing one hand from my shoulder to fan her face.

It wasn't really hot in the cabin. It had to be a mere ten degrees outside, if that, and the inside had to be a comfortable seventy degrees or something. "It's just you," I said as I teasingly placed another kiss on that sexy skirt. "I'm making you this way."

I loved her sexy outfit, the way the skirt and the stockings were connected. For a brief second, I tried to figure out a way to remove those panties and hike up the skirt, without having to remove anything else. The stockings, garter, heels... they must stay. After all, if I removed them, then that would be a waste of effort on her part to get this sexy for me... "Edward," she gasped, arching her back and throwing her head into the pillows, snapping me out of my daydream. "I told you what I wanted, now please... Y-you promised you'd oblige if I did."

I bit my lip and grinned at her desperate, sexy form. "So I did."

With that, I slid the skirt up as far as the restraints on the garter connected to the stockings would allow, and placed my lips over her panties. She smelled wonderful, so sweet and mouth-watering. Equally arousing to me. Her fingers quickly found my hair, and I could feel her knees trembling around me.

Grinning, I placed a rougher kiss there, drawing her trembling legs up and over my shoulders.

"Mmm, yessss, don't stop."

I licked her through the fabric, causing her to gasp, then moan, then hum all at once. Her body quivered, begging me to cure its ache. I kissed around the panties next, on each of her inner thighs, dragging my tongue lazily between her legs. Then I blew on it, forcing little goose bumps to appear, and more gasps from her lips. My fingers found her sensitive spots on the arch of her hips and her sex, and I pushed into the skin, causing her to whimper in frustration.

"Stop teasing," she giggled with a hint of frustration, jerking me back over her panties by my hair. _God, I loved it when she did that shit!_

Keeping my eyes locked on hers, I lingered my tongue over the panties again, and made a wide lick. She gasped, throwing her head back. After a few more licks, I stopped, and smiled against her body when she flipped her head back up, almost _eying me down _in frustration.

It was very clear that I owned her at that moment. So I decided to take advantage of it. I lifted myself up from her legs a bit, and grinned at her while my fingers massaged her through the thin fabric separating me from her heat. "Bella, is it true that I'm the only person that's ever kissed you here?"

"Yes," she gasped, pushing up against my fingers. "Yes."

"What made you trust me so easily?"

"You're _Edward_," she gasped, causing me to grin again. "You're _my _Edward and I didn't _care _what you did to me. I wanted you to do it, only you."

"Like I told you before," I grinned, increasing the pressure the teeniest amount as I avoided her hot spot, "if I had known, I would have made it worth your while."

"Oh my God," she moaned, "you _did_, like _I _told _you_! Why do you think I want you to do it again?"

My arrogance was kicking in. I couldn't fucking help it. "I think I should make it up to you. My not knowing, that is. Give it to you how I would, had I _known _it was your first time..."

She trembled beneath me, "Yes please."

I bent myself down, gripping the thong between my teeth. Bella gasped and helped me lift her lower half up off the mattress. I licked her between the fabric, before trailing down the panties with my teeth. After depositing them on the floor, I lifted her legs and placed them on my shoulders again, before nestling back down between the comforts of her thighs. _It was my most favorite place to be._

With the very first drape of my flat tongue between her folds, she gasped, clamping my head, holding me against her. I smirked, my hands finding her hips, and gently pushing her into the mattress. She relaxed when she realized I was patiently waiting on her to. Then I did it again, and her legs trapped me once more.

Now, _normally_, I would never, ever on my fucking life complain to have my face trapped between the lovely Isabella's thighs... However, when I was being held there so tight that I couldn't open my mouth _to _pleasure her...

I chuckled and massaged her calves, nuzzling my lips around her delicate area with small kisses, in order to get her to relax again. "Sorry," she said, and I noticed she was now chewing on her fingernail, trying to calm her shaking body down.

"It's okay love," I whispered, kissing her left leg before spreading them apart more. She moaned at the visual extent of which I had her parted for me now, and threw her head back in... _worry_?

"It's okay love," I reassured her again as I kissed her other thigh. "You're not bothering me at all."

"I just get carried away sometimes with you," she panted, not looking at me now. She was definitely worried that I didn't like being trapped down here. _Silly girl._ I smiled along her slick skin, and brought her legs back over my shoulders. I could handle being trapped, no problem. If I massaged her while I worked, she may relax. _Hmm_...

"Bella," I whispered, grinning again as she popped her head back up. Her cheeks were a flushed pink at the sight of me between her legs. I loved it. "Watch me," I demanded as I kissed her moist flesh again.

"Oh Goddd," she moaned as I licked and suckled her. She fought to hold herself up and watch, to not throw her head back. I widened out my tongue flat, licking her fully, savoring her taste with every flick. I didn't travel toward the sensitive bud, and I didn't enter her yet, making sure to save those for last... "Holy shit," she gasped when I hit a good spot. Instantly, I did it again, and enjoyed myself as she arched her back. That made me do it a few more times, encouraging her moans. Eventually, she couldn't help but throw her head back, digging her fingers into the sheets beside her shaking body.

I crawled backward, pulling her with me, until I was off the bed. I knelt on the ground before her and pulled her until she was half-way off. She started repeating "oh my God, oh my God!" when she realized I was about to _really _have some fun with her. I quickly reached over her head and grabbed a pillow. Smiling against her inner thigh, I lifted her body up and slid it beneath her buttocks. Then I drew her legs back over my shoulders and re-hiked the skirt back up. After that, I wound my right arm through her leg and around, hovering over her stomach in order to hold her down. My left hand began to massage between her breasts.

Her fingers found my hair, the same time my tongue found her entrance. I pushed inside her swiftly, and I couldn't help but growl into her warm flesh. She tasted so incredible right there, so sweet and... _ready _for me. I lapped up her juices greedily, holding her down when she tried to squirm away to catch her breath. I was having none of that shit. I wanted her to take it. She was _mine_.

She arched her back as high as it would go, her hands dropping to the side of the bed. Her legs began to tremble around my head while I worked her, trailing from her sensitive bud -- where I'd place circles around it before drawing it into my mouth and sucking on it -- to when I'd head back down toward her entrance, playing her like I craved to play her with my ...other things.

I kissed and lapped and suckled and licked and massaged on her where I knew she wanted the most. Every single place. Kissed her like I'd kiss her mouth. Moved my tongue around and around, up and down, side to side, in and out, circles... Repeatedly. She tasted so fucking good in my mouth, my God, it was _intoxicating_. I never bothered to use my fingers with her, I didn't need to. I was confident I could give what she wanted with my mouth. By the time I was done with this, I'd know every curve and delicious spot down here. My mouth would have it memorized, locked into my brain for later assessments. _Because, quite frankly, I planned to have a lot of later assessments._

And I didn't care that I was straining in my boxers. I didn't care that my own body craved to be touched and caressed, pleading for its own release. All I cared about was giving her what she wanted. She was most important, and I could wait. I _would _wait, for her.

A few short minutes later, Bella's orgasm took over her body. Her moans were intoxicating and loud, as she thrashed around and caved into herself. I mean, she made the most arousing sounds, I seriously thought I was going to lose it.

But I didn't let her move though, didn't allow her pull away when she claimed herself to be too sensitive. Instead, I held her still and continued with my mouth, making sure I drank up everything she was giving me. If she was making too much noise, then I'd blow on her only, and make her relax and recoup for a few minutes. Then I'd be right back at it, from the start to finish. She gasped as another orgasm hit her from left field, and then another and another. Her fingers were digging everywhere -- from the covers to my shoulders to yanking on my hair as she tossed and let out seductive sexy fucking whimpers of defeat. Especially when I heard, "Ungh, ohhhhh, _Ed_ward." It didn't get any better than that.

Once she was completely exhausted and _begging _for me, I stopped, giving her one last gentle kiss at the top of her heat. She pulled me up her body aggressively, and I laughed as she twisted us around to where I was on my back and she was straddling me.

"Oh my Goodddd," she said breathlessly as her fingernails scraped gently along my abdomen. "I'm tingling _everywhere _thanks to you." She giggled, "I feel as if I'm vibrating."

"Mmm," I said as I licked my lips and the final taste of her off them, "good. I love doing it to you."

Her pink blush formed along her cheeks with my statement, before she slivered down my body, jerking my black boxers off with her. "Oh yeah?" she said as she threw them on the ground and knelt above me, taking my hard as steel form between her tiny hands. "Watch this."

I grinned, throwing my arm behind my head and watched as she took me into her beautiful mouth. There was nothing sexier. _This was fucking fantastic!_

* * *

**AlicePOV**

We'd gone through the list. We had done it all... mostly. And though it was all quite enjoyable and I loved it... there was only one thing left, besides actual sex.

I chewed on my fingernail, allowing him to push me back onto the bed. It was a so much easier to be the _sassy sultress,_ that's what I was good at. A few of my exes made a point to let me know how decent my oral sex skills were, but when they'd offer to reciprocate, I'd quickly shrug it off and skip that part. And I didn't care about them like I cared about Jasper... and I'm going to let him do it. How obscene is that? Letting someone do it -- who could possibly not enjoy it -- which I cared about? _I swear, if he doesn't like it, I will just be so humiliated. _

I held my breath while he blew along my stomach. It felt good, I wasn't going to lie. And I was relaxed from the massage and the drinking, not to mention the romance he filled me with all night... but this was so intimate. I could feel my stomach growing into knots. I could feel my body growing clammy.

He was already so close down there, and I was freaking out internally. My body was shaking, my throat was tightening. _Was I going to have a heart attack? _Jasper lifted his hands, caressing the sides of my body_. Oh God, did my body feel good to him? Was I too skinny, too big? Could he sense my arousal? Ew, that'd be bad... _Suddenly, all these random insecure thoughts crashed over me -- thoughts I've never had before, especially with men. Normally when I'm being sexual with someone, I'm confident and carefree.

But with Jasper... it's a completely different story. I _worshipped _Jasper. I wanted him to be with me, and... this could be really bad if it doesn't go right. _Holy shit. This could ruin _everything_, Alice. _I shook my head as he traced along my inner-thigh with his lips, and I threw my hands over my face. _Get it together, Alice. You're freaking out, and there isn't a need. There isn't a need, it's okay, you're fine. Jasper cares about you, he's been begging you to let him do this to you, it's okay... _

I swallowed hard, fanning my face with my hands. I was suddenly really hot, almost about to pass out. I felt him adjust my legs around him, and knew he was right over the area. Ground zero. _Holy shit._ _You're okay, you're okay. Just breathe, just breathe..._

"Shhh baby," he said as he rubbed my stomach. "You're all right, stop trembling..." I exhaled, but made the mistake of opening my eyes and looking down. It was really dark in the room as it was, only a dim light from the bathroom door. But once I saw him... lying on his stomach above the mattress, his head and shoulders between my legs, his cheek rubbing along my inner thigh with that stubble...

"Oh fuck," I exclaimed, looking back up at the ceiling. I liked the ceiling. The ceiling was a much safer spot to look at.

Jasper chuckled against my thigh, while his fingers began to massage me over my panties with his fingers. Earlier, after I had given him oral, I refused to let him remove my panties. I knew I was aroused -- make that, _very _aroused -- and I was worried of what he'd think. Again, being insecure.

His finger played a feathery teasing dance along the laced fabric, up and down. I could feel his breath surrounding the sides of the panties, and as soon as I thought about him being that close, I began to quiver worse than an earthquake. I couldn't imagine what he was possibly thinking down there. I didn't even want to think about it.

Running my fingers through my hair, I decided to focus on my breathing. I noticed the bed shuffling around, and held my breath and closed my eyes. Once it got still again, I slowly opened them, to find Jasper hovering over me. "You need to relax," he said as he brushed his fingers over my warm cheeks. "Remember our first real night together, when you joked about having an orgasm by me just kissing you?"

I giggled, "Yes."

"And then you did have one?"

"...I remember."

"Remember how _good _it felt?"

I blushed, knowing exactly where he was going with this. "Yes."

"Then imagine _that _intensified by a million," he said, kissing my cheek gently. "Alice I _want _to do this. This is something I've thought about, before you even admitted to me that you were afraid during that Truth or Dare game. Truth be told, I fantasized about stuff like that only a few days after _meeting _you. I _want _to make you feel good. Plus, I let you do it to me, and it's my boyfriend duty to return the favor."

I let out a staggering breath, twisting my fingers through his blonde locks, "What if you don't like it though? It will ruin everything."

"It's not going to ruin anything, baby. Trust me, I'll love it."

"But how do you know though? I mean, you've never been with me before..."

"Because I know _you_. I see how well you take care of yourself, I see how caring and loving you are... How beautiful the room lights up when you enter it..." He lifted my hand, kissing the tip of my fingers, "But you have to trust me, Alice."

"I _do _trust you, I swear. I just... I'm worried if it's not going to look right, or if it's not going to..." my voice trailed off, as I decided it was best not to speak up as freely with my concerns as I did with _Doctor Edward _earlier.

"I have an idea," he said, climbing off the bed. I sat up on my elbows nervously, listening as he felt around the walls. Eventually he found the lights, and our eyes squinted to readjust to the brightness. "What are you doing?" I asked, digging for the nearest pillow to cover my bare chest with. He smirked, walking over to me, his boxers hanging so low they might as well be removed. He bent down toward me, almost kissing me. As soon as my eyes fluttered shut, I felt the pillow being removed from my hands.

My eyes popped open and I attempted to cover my breasts, but he refused me, quickly catching my arms in his hands. "Stop baby." I fidgeted nervously, shuffling my knees and clamping them together. Jasper walked around the bed, and leaned over my trembling legs, his hands resting on my knees. "You said you trust me, right?"

I nodded, swallowing hard.

"Okay... I'm going to do something, that way we can alleviate any of your fears quickly. All right?"

"Uhhh I don't know."

"Shhh," he said.

I held my breath as his hands slowly spread apart my legs, fighting against my brain to cover my chest and will God to crash rocks over me and bury me deep. His fingers massaged my legs as he continued to lean me over, and then his thumbs hooked into the sides of my panties.

All breath left my body as he slowly tugged on them. With every inch they were removed, my heart skipped more beats. My throat felt like it was on fire, my ears were plugging up. I trembled so badly, I didn't think he was going to get them from around my ankles.

But he did. And then he lifted my foot, kissing the bottom of it a few times while he kept his eyes on me. Then his hands massaged me down again, from my toes to my heels, ankles, calves, shins, knees, upper thighs... Then he spread my legs apart again.

And there was no going back. I was fully exposed to him now. But I couldn't look. Instead, opting to cover my face with my hands, so I didn't have to look at the expression on his face. Listening to his breathing shallow out was enough to make my heart bust through my chest. And then the, "Holy fuck," he murmured under his breath.

"Is it that weird?!" I shouted, not removing my hands.

"No, no, no, baby," he said, back in his soothing sultry voice. I felt him sliver closer to me, and my legs being spread further. "I wish you could see yourself how I see you right now... You'd have absolutely nothing to worry about."

_Oh God, was he lying? Did he like me bare? Or did I look like a child and he felt perverted? Did everything look proportioned correctly??_

"No I'm not lying, yes I fucking love it bare, I absolutely do _not _feel perverted, and everything is sized to fucking perfection. Jesus Christ, you're so sexy."

I covered my mouth and popped my eyes open. "Did I just say that out loud?"

Jasper nodded and I watched as he kissed down my right leg. My stomach knotted up again, the closer he got to ground zero. And once he was finally there, I about lost all nerve and told him to stop all together. But then he smiled at me. And I mean, giving me the sexiest smirk I had _ever _seen... Those soulful blue eyes, those beautiful lips... My eyes almost rolled into their head.

Jasper took his time making sure I was comfortable being nude. First, he turned the lights back off. Then kissing on my neck, my breasts, my stomach, my ribs, my lower abs, licking inside my belly button, my inner thighs... And once he placed that first kiss on the top of my heat, right above the bud, that was enough to arch my back.

Before I realized it, he was there. Kissing all around, and then opening me up with his mouth. Starting at the base and trailing upward. "Ohhhh God," I moaned, feeling at the mercy of his soul. As soon as his tongue touched me, my entire body lit on fire. I could feel his arms under and around my legs, and him lifting me up to a better angle. My legs were shaking, my body was hot -- I mean, _HOT _-- and I felt my mind slowly diminishing.

I kept shouting things that didn't make sense, or run on sentences, like, OhmyfuckingGod, ohmyfuckingGod, ohmy, ohmy, ohmy, _unnnnnnghhhh_!"

At first, it tickled a little, but he didn't spend a lot of time on my most sensitive area, because he somehow knew it'd be too much. Instead, he lapped and kissed me gently, like he would my mouth. Stroked me up and down, using his lips and his tongue slowly, and increasing pressure. He did amazing things with his tongue, with flat licks, to pointed flicks, to using both his lips and tongue...

I felt myself squirming around, but when I'd try to scoot away to catch my breath, he refused me. As time flew by, my insecurities seemed to wither away. And I didn't feel pretused, instead feeling... sexy. _Really fucking sexy!_ I noticed when his hands opened my legs more, and how well he knew what he was doing.

It was as if he could read my mind, or better yet -- _feel _what I was feeling. Because anytime something felt good, he'd instantly go back and do it over and over again. "Mmmmm," I heard him groan once, and it sent shivers through my entire frame. I was hot and bothered, wet and silk, and completely overtaken.

After a long while, he began to tease my entrance, which made me a little nervous at first, but his tongue did something that caused me to scream _really _fucking loudly and arch my back, pushing myself harder against him. Wanting more of it. I think I even told him to do it again, but I don't remember. I could barely think. Regardless, he did it over and over again, making me weaker.

Then he began to move _faster_. "Ohhhhhh _God_," I cried, fisting my hands in my hair. I was thrashing around, glistening with heat because my body was on fire, and moaning his name loudly. I licked my lips as he worked my bud, panting so deeply I thought I was going to knock myself out from lack of oxygen. I could feel myself rolling around with his tongue, between his lips, being drawn inside while he sucked delicately.

"Ungh, Jazzzzzz," I whimpered, because it felt sooo incredible and unreal. Before I could thrash around, I felt myself becoming filled, and I realized he was using his mouth and hands now. My back was arched so freaking high; I thought I was going to break my spine. My body was trembling, my hands were pulling on the blankets, my throat was tight, but all I could do was say, "Yes, yes, yes!"

And once he drew me inside his mouth again, this time sucking hard, that tightening knots in my body exploded, shooting fire through every single vein in my body, and suddenly, crashing down the lower center of me. He grabbed me tight, holding me while I came, working me with his mouth still. I shuddered and convulsed, crying and whimpering and panting and gasping. My legs were over his shoulders now, and his hands and mouth... they wouldn't stop!

"Jasper!" I cried, feeling another one coming on quickly. Before I had time to tell him to stop, it crashed over me, sending me flying into the depths of the mattress. I moaned and cried, riding the extreme waves of pure ecstasy like it was worth waiting a lifetime over. And though it felt like the most incredible thing on the entire planet... I wanted him. "Ungh, Jasper, I need you." I cried, clawing at his bare shoulders. A few seconds later, he finally retreated from me, and I dropped into the bed, chest heaving wildly. He climbed up my body, kissing as he went, not minding the moisture on my stomach and chest any more than the one currently pooled between my legs.

He kissed my neck, sucking on the skin while his fingers pulled at my ribs, and I thought for a second that I was going to explode again. Was that even possible? "Jasper, please," I begged, throwing my legs around him. "What baby?" he said, kissing my eyelids and cheeks. "That felt sooo good," I replied, enjoying the tingling sensation through my body. "But I want you. Inside me. Now. Please."

"Okay," he said, kissing my mouth. And though I tasted myself on him, I realized it didn't taste bad... at all. _Thank GOD_. It actually floured me on more. I reached between us, yanking on his strained boxers. He lifted himself up to his knees after I got them off and threw them clear across the room in the furthest corner. We don't need those anymore, I thought with a grin. I helped him put the _Trojan's Twisted Pleasure _condom on, because I wanted to touch him again. And only a few strokes later, he tossed his head back, "That feels damn good."

I grinned, lying back on my back. I didn't care if I was naked anymore. He didn't seem to mind, so why should I? It was time for Alice to go back to being _Sexy Sassy Sultress _again and show him what I was about. So I spread my legs and pulled him down between them, kissing on his jaw while I stroked him more. Jasper's hands found my petite waist, and I smiled as he lifted me beneath him, positioning me where he wanted me. He started to reach down and take over with my hand and glide himself in, but I pushed on his chest with my free hand. "I want to do it." I said. I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head, and his face was going to break from the grin he was giving me. I giggled, rubbing him between the folds of my sex.

And when I finally pushed the tip of him in, I think we both almost lost it. There was nothing more beautiful than that first second of connecting. It didn't matter how big he was, or how tiny I was... I was so ready for him, it only took a few times for him to fit in, and though I hadn't had sex in eight months... there wasn't much pain at all. He felt _good _to me. _A perfect fit. _I threw my head back, allowing him to lift me from the mattress as he pushed all the way in. "Put your legs around me baby," he said gently. I did instantly, pulling them to my chest, making them surround him as high as I could go. I knew it'd feel better at a tighter angle. Our moans elicited simultaneously. His rhythm picked up quickly, and I clawed at him, kissing on his shoulders while he slid in and out.

My body felt like a live wire, and I could hear our skin moving around each other's during the sweaty friction. Plus there was no fan in this bedroom, so things were super _hot_. Jasper kissed me deep, his tongue surrounding mine, the back of my throat, my cheeks... His body continued to work, from slow to fast to slow again to _really _fucking fast. He was everywhere, touching me with his hands, his mouth, his body. He was inside, outside... Surrounding. Everywhere.

"Ohhh, ungh," I cried loudly, clenching him with my legs. "I'm so close, so close!"

"Almost," he groaned into my neck, digging his fingers into the flesh of my hips as he lifted my body and met it with his own. "Wait for me."

"Mmm," I moaned, yanking on his hair. "Don't stop, don't stop." I could feel him thrusting more erratically, and knew he was close. So I tightened my muscles and slid my hand around me. It took me a few seconds to get my legs high enough around him, to where I could reach his sac, but I did it. And when I began to massage them like stress balls, his lips found my neck and he sucked hard, groaning and shouting my name. "Is this okay?" I asked breathlessly, while my heart began to pound through my ears. He nodded, not slowing down his pace. "Fucking fantastic," he answered exasperatedly, while his hand began to work my bud again.

We moaned together, moving our bodies, our hands, our lips, our breathing... everything simultaneously. And before I could cry his name, my orgasm came on. I tightened my grip on him as hard as I could, not even able to say anything besides weird noises that made no sense. "Fuck," he shouted as my body clenched around him. He pounded into me a few more times, before shoving himself as far as he could go and holding it there while he released violently. "Alice," he shuddered, digging his face into my shoulder. After a few seconds, he fell hard onto me, and we sunk deep into the mattress.

We lay there for a while, wrapped up in each other until our breathing settled down and my heart stopped trying to climb out through my throat. And once he rolled over onto his back, parting from me, I didn't feel complete anymore.

I rolled on my side after he pulled the latex off of himself, and threw my leg over his thigh. He grinned at me, wrapping his arms around my body for a big hug. I kissed along his sensitive neck, his shoulders, his pecks, before resting my head on his bicep.

We didn't really say anything to each other, just enjoyed the moment in silence. After all, everything we wanted to say about how much we felt for each other, how much we desired and trusted one another... that was all said in our actions.

And I fell asleep in his arms, which was the best part of the entire night.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I did everything I could think to do to Emmett. I let it out aggressively, as I was so frustrated and exhausted because of the drama that I created.

I bit him, clawed at him, and went down on him, anything I could think that he'd enjoy.

I wanted to prove to him that, despite whatever he was thinking, he was never second choice with me. I wanted to prove to him that he was the best, that he was all that I wanted... I wanted to prove to him how sorry I was for the whole Edward thing. How much I loved him, and no one else.

Sure, I never imagined my first time with my boyfriend, whom I wanted to wait for the best moment with, would be on the concrete floor inside the darkened grotto. It wasn't comfortable, and it wasn't romantic.

It was raw and aggressive, as both us expressed our frustrations and desperations. But the time was now or never, and the physical demands were much needed.

Emmett laid me down onto a pile of our clothes and towels he found around the grotto. We were both naked and drunk, but we didn't care.

I pulled him onto me, and he had to drop his hands to the side of my head to keep from crashing into me. I drew my legs around his waist while he positioned himself with a free hand.

"Do it," I encouraged him as I tugged on his hair. "Please."

"Please what?"

"Please Emmett. I'm sorry, and I love you. I want only you. I want to be with you. Please."

He pushed into me hard, and I gasped as I threw my head back. The layer of clothes beneath me weren't as comfortable as a mattress would be, and my head ached with the force of the concrete.

I gripped onto his shoulders and lifted my upper-body from ground as far as I could go. His arms wrapped around my waist and he knelt between my legs, jerking me up to him. I straddled his lap and began to bounce on him, trying my hardest to ignore the fact that it was burning inside me.

All the foreplay was mostly done to him and I did it unselfishly... but as his large length sheathed into me, I couldn't help but wince. The lubrication from the condom wasn't helping either. I bit my tongue and buried my eyes into his shoulder, allowing his hands to grip my waist and move me at his leisure.

I tried my hardest to ignore the pain, to ride it out and convince myself it'd get easier. I tried for a long time. But when it became _too _much, something broke from inside me. I stopped moving, clawing my nails into him. And then I cried. Hard. Into his neck, while he was still inside of me.

My body was trembling and spent of exhaustion of the day, and I was so embarrassed because I wanted to be with him so fucking badly. He panted into my collar bone for a few minutes, his own hands trembling on my hips. He was waiting patiently for me to move again. "I'm so-sorry," I murmured into his skin weakly. "I want to do this, please don't take this the wrong way. I really _really _want to be with you..."

He sighed and pulled back to look at me. His eyes were dark and drunken-lustfully glazed over... but for the first time since we got into this grotto... he looked concerned for me.

"I'm so sorry," I said, wiping my face with the back of my hand. "Let's continue."

"I can't do it now," he said, "you're fucking crying."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to, it's just that..."

He tilted his head, "...Just what?"

"It's, uh," I replied shakily, "it's hurting a little."

Before I could blink, he had our bodies separated and me off of him. We were both standing, and he backed away a bit, "Why didn't you tell me Rose?!"

"I didn't want to _stop _you," I said, as my body trembled more. "I thought I-I could take it."

"No, no, _hell _no," he said, shaking his head as he walked toward me. And the look in his eyes proved it... _My _Emmett was back. The loving, concerned version of him. "Rose, you should have said something. You have to tell me these things."

"I just love you so much, I want this, I really do..."

He buried his hands in his face, shaking his head. "Mother _fuck_, I am an idiot."

That made me feel worse, and my sobs poured from me.

Quicker than lighting, he was by my side, pulling me into his arms. "Baby, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that. I mean, I'm an idiot for pushing you, for trapping you into this. I should have waited, I didn't think, I'm just drunk and upset and I just wanted you to pick me and I'm-"

"It's fine," I said as I grabbed his biceps. "You didn't force me into anything; I _wanted _to do this with you. I just... I'm sore."

"Dammit," he said as he kissed my cheeks. "Dammit, dammit. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry baby. I wasn't thinking." He hugged me tight for a long time, caressing my arms and neck and back.

Once we both calmed down, he helped me get dressed. Then we apologized a few more times, before escaping the downstairs and the party.

When we were alone in my bedroom, he decided that maybe a hot bath would comfort me and soothe my achiness.

I begged him to take a bath with me, and he gratefully accepted my invite. When we were in, sitting on opposite sides but knees locked, it really proved to me how much I _did _love him, and how far I'd go to please him.

And though I was aching and a little nauseated with the actions of the night, I couldn't wait to try again with him... when our minds were in the right mind-frame for this.

It was something to look forward to.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I ran my fingers along Edward's torso, enjoying the feel of each rippled abs. His body was perfect, more than I could have ever imagined...

When we were together in high school, I remember the first time I ever saw him shirtless... He had a six-pack back then, and I think I began to hyperventilate... Now, Edward has an eight-pack, along with the sexiest v-cut indent around his hips, and that sexy treasure trail... just seeing it makes my mouth water and my breathing short.

He smiled, reaching for out for me, "come here."

I bit my lip, climbing into his lap while he sat up. "Bella, you don't know how much I love this outfit," he said into my neck while he kissed it, "it's so... fucking...sexy... and... it... makes me... want... to ravish you."

I grinned, running my fingers through his hair while I ground against him. I wasn't wearing my panties or bra anymore... only the skirt, the stockings, the garter belt, and the heels. And he was wearing... nothing. And it felt nice. I continued my movements, creating waves of friction between us... Up down, side to side, back and forth.

Edward brushed my hair off my shoulders, kissing along my collar bone. I pulled on his bronzed spiky hair, bending my head back to give him bigger access. He was caressing my breasts, kissing the tops of the cleavage. A small moan escaped my lips and I involuntarily pushed into him. I could feel him hard against my thigh, and my body begging for him to fill me.

"Ungh," I exhaled as he brought my nipple in his mouth. I could feel him swirling his tongue around it, and it excited me more, causing a pool to seep between my thighs. "Edward, please," I gasped, pushing into him again.

Edward pulled his mouth away, and I lost my breath when he looked at me. His eyes were so big and dark, so fucking filled with _lust _that it made me ache even more. His lips were parted slightly, and they glistened with his saliva... I moaned again, throwing my head back.

Edward's hands trailed down my arms and he pushed me back onto the mattress, but stayed sitting up with my legs on either side of his thighs. He quickly leaned behind him and pulled something from his jeans pocket, which I presumed to be a condom.

Needing attention, I ran my hands along my ribs and stomach, watching him slide it on his sexy form. Then his hands scooped beneath my butt, and he lifted me back in the air, "I want you right here."

I nodded breathlessly, grabbing onto his shoulders. With the candlelight and fireplace giving an orange glow with us, and the way we were sitting, me in his lap, chest to chest, sweaty and steamy... this was a really romantic moment, and I felt overwhelmed with love suddenly.

It took a lot out of me then, just trying not to choke up and cry. In that moment, I realized just how much I really _missed _him... How much I longed for him. Being friends for an entire week was all too much for me. Now, being this intimate, this personal with each other... Just having him back in my _life _and seeing the look he was giving me... that look of pure devotion...

I fluttered my eyes closed, taking a few deep breaths.

"Are you all right, sweetheart?" he asked, his hands rubbing my back.

I nodded, inhaling through my nose. _Don't cry, or he'll stop Bella. Stop being such a girl!_

"Do you want to stop?"

"No," I said shakily. I gave him a warm, reassuring smile, caressing his handsome face. "I'm just a little overwhelmed right now."

"I know the feeling," he whispered, giving me a gentle kiss on my chin. "Let's just go slow with this."

"Slow is good," I agreed.

I felt him lift me up in the air, and I brought my hands between my legs, grabbing him and guiding him to where we both wanted to be. "Baby, are you sure?" he asked, blowing the hair out of my face.

"Yes," I replied, feeling my heart pounding in my chest.

He suspended me in the air with his strong hands, and closing my eyes, I began to sit down on him. He didn't move at all, but he did let out the sexiest groan, filling me with more lust. My lashes fluttered against my skin as I continued to lower myself.

Edward knew to be patient with me, lifting me back in the air and pulling me down slowly... He was so sweet and kind, putting me before himself... and when I was finally able to sit completely in his lap, we just stayed _still_... enjoying the moment.

He kissed along my shoulders, neck, and jaw line, while I ran my fingers through his scruff on his jaw and his sexy hair. "You feel so good," I whispered in his ear.

"So do you," he replied, kissing the corner of my mouth.

"I just... I love you so much," I said, feeling my throat squeeze tight. _Who knew being intimate would be this extreme? _

Still feeling a bit overwhelmed with all the love I have for him pouring out of me, I hugged him tight, squeezing his shoulders and burying my face in his neck.

"As I love you, my angel."

I nodded, clutching on his skin. We still hadn't moved an inch, just fully connected and wrapped up in each other.

My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and I felt nervous but I kept trying to pull myself internally together. "I just _need _you, Edward."

"I'm here... I've got you."

Flashbacks of James crossed in my head quickly, haunting me. I could hear his scratchy breath in my ear, feel him pushing against me... feel the pain... Him holding me down...

I cringed slightly, burying my eyes into the deepest part of Edward's shoulder. Only with him, did I feel okay again.

And somehow, he seemed to know _exactly _what I was thinking, because he hugged me tightly, pouring his love into my soul.

And I snapped out of the flashbacks just as quickly as I had entered into them.

All I saw now was my love. _My Edward._

"It's just us," he whispered soothingly into my ear while he massaged my sides. "Look at me, my love." He cupped my face and drew his head back to look me in my eyes.

I took a deep breath, tilting my head to look into his eyes once more.

He massaged my face, "It's just us. It's just Bella and Edward... and _this _is _real _love. We don't have to rush anything and we can go as slow as you want... "

His eyes were so warm, dazzling... green... and he kissed the tip of my nose, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. "...You're safe with me, Bella."

I nodded, swallowing hard. I watched as his index finger came to my face, and he wiped away tears I hadn't even known I released.

"I'm never going to let anything else happen to you, I promise." Then he pulled my face to his lips, and kissed the rest of them away. "And I only want to be with you, Bella. ...You're it for me."

"You're it for me too," I whispered back to him, my voice still weak.

"We don't have to-"

"I want to," I reassured him with a smile.

He grinned crookedly, but kept his eyes warm. "...I want to, too."

I kissed him, passionately. Our tongues intertwined together, as we pushed in deeper. A soft moan escaped from my lips, but he caught it deep in his throat, forcing his mouth back against mine. The deeper he kissed me, the deeper he pulled me against him.

We couldn't be more connected than at that moment. Not even by an inch. There was no possible way.

"I've never made love to anyone before," he admitted in a whisper beneath my ear, before placing a tender kiss there. "...and I want to make love to you... Isabella, I want you to be my first."

My heart melted into a million pieces. I pulled his face away, looking into those romantic eyes of his. Then I kissed his forehead, "...I'd like that."

Edward ran his hands around my neck, cupping the back of it.

He moved me gently back onto the mattress, never disconnecting from me as we went, and nestled himself lightly above my warm body.

Again, he brushed the hair out of my eyes as he slowly began to move inside of me. And every time he spoke, he kept it a gentle whisper. "...God, you don't know how much I love you."

I hummed in response and closed my eyes, holding onto his shoulders while he explored my body with his own. I was filled with him, filled with emotions, filled with joy and completeness and warmth...

My heart was literally aching, clenching and releasing, but not in a painful, heartbroken way... more of an overfilled way, as if my chest couldn't get any more love inside of it, or it'd burst open.

He kept his pace slow and steady, kissing along my face, my shoulders, my neck... My eyelids, my cheeks, my chin, my forehead, the corners of my mouth...

I gently dragged my legs along his sides, trailing our heated bodies, skin to skin. My fingers flourished tenderly through his hair, and I could practically hear the strands whispering through my fingers like the breeze right before a wind storm... delicate but powerful.

Mesmerized, I watched every single feature of his face in the candlelight...

The way his diamond green eyes were glossed lustfully but still aware... very tender and endearing...

How his tan cheeks were flushed from the heat between our bodies...

How his forehead crinkled and then relaxed with our movements, creating a slight layer of dew and dampness...

How his bronzed hair shined with every spring of my finger...

And how his pink lips, swollen with passion, were slightly parted so he could take us all in...

Not to mention that powerful but delicate tongue of his, bouncing lightly on the inside of his lips when he'd breathe...

Sometimes his mouth or his chin would literally quiver when he hit an amazing spot, but he never kept his eyes closed or took them off of me for long. He always came back to me.

I could feel him surround every single corner of my body, filling me so completely. Our breathing was steady and synchronized, and that pushed us further into the romance. Because every time he'd breathe in, steady or shaken, I'd breathe out... and then vice versa.

My own lips were parted as I maintained a steady breath. My fingers found their way to his biceps, and I trailed circles around them, moaning lightly into his mouth. I loved it when he kissed me, because then there wasn't a part of me that wasn't filled with him.

But then other times, when he'd just lay his opened lips on top of mine and breathe... that was beautiful too.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, placing his forehead to mine while we rocked gently.

I nodded, taking the moment to kiss his eyelids. "I'm more than okay."

I held him tighter with my legs, lifting my head off the mattress. Again, our foreheads met, and we panted sweet breath across each other's faces while our bodies sped up for a few moments. The tightening in my stomach was getting fiercer, but I didn't want to go yet. I didn't want this to end.

"Kiss me," I said, pulling his face down to mine. Edward smiled against my lips, before sliding his warm tongue in. I could feel him trembling against me, his lips quivering with delicacy.

The light breathing through his nose was progressively becoming heavier, but he seemed unphased. Our bodies kept their rhythm, in no hurry to part ways either.

His left hand scooped beneath my head and lifted it from the mattress again, so our mouths could have a better fit.

My _gosh_... the way he kissed me in that moment... I could have died. From drawing my bottom lip between his teeth... to releasing it and meeting my open lips with the exact match of his own, to turning our heads when our tongues intertwined... To the intricate way his tongue caressed mine slowly, and his lips covered mine so warmly.

My hands found his sides and I helped him support his weight over me, gliding him in and out. I was quickly losing my breath, still overwhelmed with the intensity of our love. I sighed heavily, my eyelashes fluttering shut as I gasped for air.

I could feel Edward's tongue dancing along my bottom lip. He didn't actually apply pressure and _kiss _me while his body surrounded mine in that moment, instead opting to gently nibble and lick lightly there every few seconds or so.

"Edward," I gasped when my body began to overheat.

"I k-know baby," he replied huskily, voice shaken.

Sweat was _pouring _around us now, but it didn't phase us much, only making us move more. Between the friction, the desperation, and the _need _around us... we were in a constant and undying state of overwhelm. Because if I were being honest with myself, no one else would _ever _be able to make love like we were doing right now... The tender actions... this was _us_.

Edward seemed very intuitive with me. He kept his eyes on mine as much as possible, moving hair off of me when I couldn't see and whatnot... but he seemed to really _watch _my reactions, making sure I was okay with what he was doing, looking for what I liked -- which was everything he did -- and kissing me with every opportunity risen.

He was tenderly submerged with me, kissing on my neck and my collar bones. "Ungh," he gasped into my skin, pushing into me as far as he could go and lingering there for a moment. His lips did that sexy quiver again, as he murmured "Bella," into my skin. "Mmm."

I scratched his back, and he began to move again, keeping it slow and passionate.

Time continued to pass, and our passion was prolonged -- we both held off for one another. Wanting to make this last as long as possible.

The more and more we thrusted and blended together, the more I had to fight back tears. It was so easy to drown in the intimacy of this night. After all, I'd never had anyone make love to me before either... And I was so happy it was him that did it first.

Romance was all around us, in the passion, in the love-making, in our eyes, in this bed, bouncing off the walls...

He nudged my head to the side with his nose, and began to kiss along my right ear. His breath was hot and overtaking, causing me to shudder and moan. I loved running my fingers through his hair, encouraging him silently to never stop. _Don't ever fucking stop, _I thought to myself. _Don't ever leave me again._

He trailed his lips along my skin, and I could feel him begin to push deeper with every thrust. I knew he was close, and it was both a comforting feeling -- because that meant it was me and mine that was doing this to him -- and also a sad feeling -- because I didn't want this to be over. Ever.

He pushed his forehead onto mine, panting along my face. I wound my arms through his and twisted my hands around, clenched his biceps and shoulders. "Ungh," he moaned again, and I watched as his tongue rolled around that perfect, full bottom lip of his.

"Oh God," I cried as he filled me with his body to the brim. He slid his hands between us, and I gasped as he rubbed me delicately on my sweetest area.

"Please Edward," I begged, pulling on his skin, "not yet. I don't want this to end."

"Christ," he said, burying his face in my neck.

His body continued to divulge within mine, and I tossed my legs around his waist, causing him to moan loudly into my ear. He bit the inside of my neck, and as I gasped, I could feel his lashes flutter along the sensitive area of my skin.

The light, tender feeling of that alone... It about did me in.

"Mmm," I continued, massaging his shoulder blades while his hands massaged my thighs, pulling me up to meet his thrusts. "Ungh, ohhh," I gasped.

He felt so good, still after all this time after we started tonight, but I wasn't ready to part yet. "Just a little longer. For me, Edward."

He pulled his face back and pressed his forehead to mine, nodding. "All right," he whispered as he moved his hand back from between our bodies.

My eyes zoned right back to his trembling jaw, and I leaned up to kiss it.

I could feel the tips of his fingers grasping at my skin, around my hips, my tailbone, my ribs, my sides, my thighs... Each spot spending enough time there. _This man owns my life, I swear it._

I arched my back for him, and he gasped at the new angle. I found his hair, and as soon as my fingertips met the tips of it, I jerked it back a bit, enjoying the sight of his Adam's apple bouncing with his head tilted. He loved it when I tugged on his hair.

Then I dropped my hands, massaging his hip bones.

Holding his shaken frame his left arm somehow, Edward's right hand dipped down and found mine, bringing it up over my head.

He trailed his index finger around my palm in lazy circles while our bodies continued, and then intertwined his fingers around mine, holding it into the bed.

That tender gesture, something so innocent and pure, was the one that caused the tear to slide from my left eye.

He noticed immediately, and smiled before leaning down and kissing it away from the side of my face. "I love you angel."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "I-I love you too."

He applied a few ginger kisses to my temple, my cheek, and my lips again, while I caressed around his arms.

Then it began to feel _too _good, and our bodies started pulsing with our rhythmic friction. We both gasped, our lips parting and touching, but never kissing. We clung to each other quickly, holding out for the very last lingering moment possible.

...But the intimacy of the night washed over us in crashes of tsunami like waves, and we went over the edge together. Edward buried his face into my neck as he released, while I covered my eyes into his shoulder.

"Unnnghhhhhh," he gasped, his body shaking over mine.

"Edwarddd," I cried into his skin. I could feel his body pulsing inside of me, while he shook on the outside too. My own muscles were clenched tight, taking everything from him that he was providing.

He continued to rock for as long as he could hold out, before his body became extensively spent and exhausted. Then I pushed him on to me, holding him tightly with my arms and legs wrapped all the way around.

He groaned into my skin, his body continued to quiver along with mine, and the sweat from between our bodies became heated with our contact.

But we laid there for what seemed like hours, just wrapped up in each other so tightly and intimately...

Once he found the strength to move a little, he'd kiss my shoulder, or my cheek, and finally my mouth, humming as he went. Then he nudged my face over again, burying his lips on my neck.

I opened my eyes and blinked, smiling at the beauty and magic of our night together. "It's snowing outside," I whispered.

After Edward left his mark on me -- which I did not mind one bit about -- he turned his head and rested his cheek on mine, watching out the A-frame bedroom window. "...So it is."

I took a deep breath, running my hands along his back. We stayed intertwined, watching it fall. Tender little white flakes, some sticking to the cold window, while others fell into the night sky... which was slowly becoming daytime now.

It was magical to see how cold it could be in the outside world, but how sweaty and humid it was in this bedroom, being so wrapped up in our body heat.

I stole a glance of the clock, gasping at the time. It was after seven am. This meant we had been in this bedroom for over four hours.

Edward's thumbs caressed my arms and he kissed my shoulder again.

Eventually he moved from me, and I whined a little -- couldn't help it -- at the loss of contact. I wanted to feel complete, like we did moments before, for eternity.

But he quickly regained my happiness by lying behind me, sliding his right hand beneath me and his left arm around and over both of mine. I grinned and buried my face into the texture of his arm, inhaling his scent, drowning in his warmth.

He placed ginger kisses on the back of my neck beneath my hairline, reminding me with gentle words about how much he loved me.

"I love you too," I whispered as I nestled into him as far as I could possibly go.

I was here, lying wrapped up in my lover's arms, naked and happy. This night couldn't have gone any better, and I honestly never felt safer.

We were completely spent and worn out, but we still managed to hold onto each other, watching the sun up through the bedroom window.

And then I could hear his light breathing even out behind my neck, washing over my skin, and I knew he had fallen asleep.

I kissed his arm and held it to my chest, smiling as I reflected the night.

Then I whispered, "Goodnight Edward."

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 17! **

**-- My beta Katie and I were talking and we felt it was time for another poll!! We'd love to see your thoughts on these lemons! So at the end of the review, answer the following questions:  
**1. Who had the funniest one-liner?  
2. Who had the most romantic one-liner?  
3. Who had the most unexpected moment?  
3. What was the most shocking part of the chapter?  
4. Most romantic description of a character's moment?  
5. Who do you think will be the most changed when tomorrow comes around?  
6. So you think Edward will end up telling Bella about James?  
7. Who had the best sex? LOL!

**-- Songs listened to during this very... detailed chapter was "**_**Would You Mind**_**," by Janet Jackson, "**_**Come On Over**_**" by Jennifer Lopez, "**_**Speechless**_**" by Beyonce, "**_**Colorblind**_**" by Counting Crows, "**_**Bliss**_**" by Mariah Carey, and "**_**Closer" **_**by Kings Of Leon. I recommend them for special times. ;0)**

**-- No, if anyone thinks so, when Edward/Bella are in the room and he's upset and Bella's trying to figure it out, he is NOT upset over **_**anything **_**Rosalie related! He's upset because the realities of what James did to Bella sank in. And he wants to prove to her that she deserves to be loved... I think he did it well.**

**-- And yes, flashbacks like Bella had CAN come and go just as quickly. They are very real and are related to PTSD. It doesn't have to change and scare her away, especially if she has someone as understanding as Edward is. [Special shoutout to my husband Wes for that part. You know why.]**

**-- Some people were a little confused to why Bella would have asked Edward to "fuck her" on the last chapter if she had been attacked before. Well, in my personal opinion, when someone is assaulted, they later react in two ways. They either duck inside interally, loosing all trust in the sex of their attacker, and become inverted completely. Sex is very difficult for them. OR they act out, as I have done in MY past, and flirt more with men. They look for anyone else of that same sex who can prove to them that they deserve to have attention, love, etc. They long for it, and keep hunting for it, because they don't believe they'll ever TRULY have it. I feel that Bella was a mixture of both. We all know she flirts a lot, especially with Edward, and she was so upset about that girl and him that she lashed out on him. She wanted him to prove to her that he wanted to have sex with her, and she showed that side of herself to him the wrong way. But then, once the realities of the situation came to her, that was when she broke down on the car hood and stopped him, confessing her reasons and love. It sucks that it takes something like that to wake some one up, but at times, there's no other way.**

**-- ****Please don't be too harsh on Emmett or Jacob with this chapter. Emmett would NEVER hurt Rosalie, as you noticed by how quickly he stopped and apologized. He was just drunk and upset and let his emotions get the best of him. And Jacob... well, this is how he was before he got to the cabin. As mentioned previously, this chapter is about SELF-DISCOVERY for ALL characters, and well, Jake is just learning later than everyone else. **

**-- Thanks for your support in the last chapter. Even those who didn't fully feel comfortable with Edward lashign out on someone, you still said you undersood why he did it. I applaud you for that. Because, as a VAMP in the Twilight Saga, Edward said many times he'd kill people who hurt her and he wanted to on a few occassions. "I should go back and rip those guys heads off. Distract me so I won't turn around" being one moment. I sort of wanted to portray that side of him, and really show what he'd do as a human, if he lost control of the situation.**

**-- Oh, and thanks again to my hubby for the descriptive words when my mind was drawing blanks. See, I told you that this writing was hard! Now do you believe me? *wink* **

**Reviews are better than ... uh... **_**Is there anything better than EB intimacy?**_** Hmm... :D**


	18. Sexual Healing

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for every single thing you do. From the closet ship we share, to the way you cheer me up. Best Beta Ever!!

**Chapter Eighteen: So who was the most changed after last night? For the better and for the worse?  
The morning after. Bella's headache forces Edward to show why he loves being a doctor, while Jasper and Alice grow closer.  
Others in the house learn that sometimes letting go of things may or may not be a good thing.  
Oh, and the friends in the cabin leave today.  
Read to start figuring that out.**

**NOTE: For those of you who've asked: Just b/c Edward/Bella are getting closer, does NOT mean that there aren't more challenges on the list. I still have 15+ more idea plans for this story, some unresolved questions of yours to be discovered once again... Like Bella's journal, what Edward was talking to Carlisle about on the phone for two hours, and whatnot. There's still a lot of things this group will deal with. So stick around!!**

**POLL results on bottom; NEW POLL at end of this chapter!!  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**Hello, good morning, how you do? What makes your rising sun so new?  
I could use a fresh beginning too. All of my regrets are nothing new.  
So this is the way that I say I need you.  
This is the way...  
This is the way that I'm learning to breathe  
I'm learning to crawl.  
I'm finding that you, and you alone can break my fall.  
I'm living again, awake and alive...  
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies.**_

_**Switchfoot, "Learning To Breathe"**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

**Chapter Eighteen: Sexual Healing**

**BellaPOV **

I stood nervously at the coffee pot, clutching my cup between my pale fingertips.

I'm not sure exactly _why _I was nervous. I mean, sure I had the most amazing, fulfilling, romantic moment of my life last night... but it all seemed more like a dream than anything else.

Being able to get so close to someone, in the way I did with Edward last night... it seems impossible. And I would have thought it _was _only a dream, if I hadn't woken up naked, still wrapped up in his arms, around one pm this evening.

I had such an inner-battle with myself on top of it. I had to pee so freakin' badly that my stomach was _aching_, but I did not want to remove myself from the comforts and security Edward brought to me, by holding onto me the way he was.

And his face was pressed up against the back of my neck, breathing lightly down the top of my spine. He seemed so rested, so pure... On top of that, when I actually _did _give into my bodily functions and attempt to pry myself from his arms, he sort of held on tighter. He was completely, one hundred percent dreaming at the time... so it was as if his instincts alone were telling him to keep me safe, even while he slept.

...Just as he promised he'd do.

So... bringing myself back to the present, why was I nervous? If I had to guess, it was just the idea of seeing his face when he woke up and came downstairs. Seeing his reactions, and everything else... Worrying that he may not look at the night like I did... Worried that it'd be ruined when we came to the realities that we crossed that "friendship" line for the last time last night.

I hated the "morning after."

I sighed, staring at the drip inside the pot.

Today could make or break us. After all, Edward said he needed me, just as I did him. Sure, we said we were in love and all of that, and I know we both meant it.

Regardless, we didn't have any knew "labels" for each other.

And that made me feel... more nervous. I don't know why, because why ruin a good thing, but it still did.

"Ahem."

I held my breath and turned, exhaling loudly when I noticed Jacob standing there, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen. "Oh. It's just you."

He chuckled lightly, "Thanks a lot. Who were you expecting?"

"No one," I shook my head, "it's just... Never mind. What's up?"

"Just wondering why you slept in so late? You're normally one of the first up in this cabin."

"I didn't get to bed 'till this morning. What's your excuse? I see you're still wearing the same clothes from last night."

"I haven't been to bed yet."

I furrowed my brows at him, "You're kidding."

"Nope."

"Why?"

He smirked, scratching his head, "Busy night, I guess."

"Bryan keep you up all night?" I joked, giving him a little sexy shoulder swivel.

"Nope," he said. "We're not really _together _anymore."

"What?!" I asked. _When did that happen?_

"Long story," he shrugged. "But I'm chill with it. Where's your _loverboy_?"

"Jake," I warned.

"No, I'm serious! I didn't mean that harshly, just curious."

"He's asleep."

He stood there, staring at me for a moment. Then a devilish grin appeared on his face. "It all makes sense now."

"_What _makes sense?" I asked, trying to keep my stupid revealing grin off my face.

"Oh nothing," he replied, continuing to look at me like I was a pot of gold. "I bet you gave him a nice work out."

"Jacob Black!" I scolded, slapping his arm. "That is none of your business!"

He laughed, giving me a wide grin. "Ohhh but it's true. Wanna know how I know? Because if it _wasn't _true, then you would have flat out denied it, or said 'I wish' or some shit girls say when they're crushing on someone. Instead, you get a stupid ass smile on your face and act all defensive. You're an open book, Bella. You've always been when it comes to Cullen."

I looked at him dumbfounded. "You're in an awfully cheery mood today. Did you win the lottery or run over an old lady or something?"

He laughed, pouring me a cup of coffee. "Nah. Just over the nonsense. If you and Cullen want to be together, that's on you two. I'm not going to say anything disrespectful about it -- unless he pisses me off -- and I'm not going to_ not be your friend _just because you two are... whatever. I simply don't _care_. I mean, this isn't saying I won't make fun of you guys, but I'll be cool about it."

"You're acting really strange..." I said, looking him over, trying to find a crack in his expression. But there wasn't any. "It's creeping me out."

"Seeing you in a short, sexy, silky nightgown, paired with huge, pink, bunny slippers creeps _me _out."

"Shut up!" I slapped him in the arm playfully, then took a sip of my coffee. "Mmm, I needed that."

"What? Someone making fun of your clothes? Because if you want insults, I can go on and on about that mess of tangles on the top of your head..."

"No, smartass. Some coffee. I have such a headache right now."

"Did you bang your skull on the headboard repeatedly?"

I smacked him in the gut, "Shut up, Jake. And no, I did not."

"That happened to me once. I think I almost had a concussion."

"Well, rough sex will do that to you, Jake. Tell the big burly man who's banging you next time to be gentler when you're bent over."

"Ha ha, you're sick."

"Takes one to know one."

Suddenly an electric current washed over me, and it only meant one thing.

I forgot how to breathe.

Because standing directly behind me, must be the most amazing man ever to exist, and that meant that I had no more time to freak out about what happened last night.

I looked up at Jacob nervously, before sucking in some more air and twisting around toward the island. And there he stood, in all his Adonis-like glory. _Better than Adonis._

Bronzed hair, spiky but slept in. No shirt, making his rippled abs and treasure trail look so delicious. Dark pajama pants hanging so low it should be illegal to tease me that much. Not to mention those warm, seducing green eyes, and that _smile_.

I bit my lip and held my breath, watching him stroll towards me, fisting his hair. He leaned down to me, and ran his nose across my left cheek, before placing a kiss there. "Good morning, my love. You look beautiful." His voice was so raspy and scratchy, but velvety-smooth at the same time. It sent shudders through me.

I struggled to say _thank you_ in response, and when I couldn't, I stood smiling at him like a nervous idiot while he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I'm going to take a shower here in about fifteen-twenty minutes," he said quietly in my ear. "You're welcome to join me if you'd like."

"Oh, um, yeah, o-okay," I stammered, trying to find a way to turn my brain back on.

Edward winked at me, then turned and gave Jacob a short nod. "Black."

"Cullen."

Once he left, and the sensational smell of mints and axe-spray was no longer in the kitchen, I slumped over the counter, rubbing my head. It was _pounding_, and straining it in order to come up with a decent response to Edward made it worse.

"Ooooohh oooh," Jake teased, swatting my ass as he reached for his pack of cigarettes. "You've got it baaadddd."

"Shut up."

"He's waiting on you, Bella. You'd better scoot."

"Shut it, Jake."

He chuckled and lit his cigarette, giving me that adorable smile I loved and missed about him. "Go get 'em tiger."

That's when I decided that, on my search for a switch to turn my brain back on, I needed to find a remote that muted my good pal Jacob.

* * *

**EmmettPOV **

I stared at television screen, holding my X-box 360 controller tightly in my hands.

I didn't get much sleep last night, feeling so guilty about the sex thing I practically enforced on my girlfriend.

_Ridiculously shit-faced drunk_ is never an excuse to bribe a woman into the bedroom, and I knew better than that. I'm a grown fucking man. I take responsibility for myself. And my actions sobered me up really quick after I saw the tears streaming down her face.

Of course, Rosalie put no blame about this on me. She claimed it was all her fault... Because we hadn't been intimate yet, because of her lies and deceit. Everything I yelled at her for, she just soaked all that shit in and accepted it as her problem.

But I didn't have a right to bitch at her the way I did. Regardless of how upset I was, I was raised better than to treat a woman I was with like that. I knew better than to bring her emotionally down.

I think I did it because, I felt attacked somehow. I had let my guard down with her -- the only woman ever in the history of me that's witnessed that -- and, by her not clearing it up immediately, I felt my whole resolve around her was fake.

My stomach has been upset all day long, and my head was still aching. I felt like I had just witnessed someone dying or something. And every single time Rosalie would say things to me or try to make me feel better... it all just made me feel worse.

She kept saying that she loved me and it was okay, but it wasn't. And she kept apologizing to me, when we both know good and well that my blow-up overshadowed her lie.

I just witnessed Edward beating the fuck out of James for what he did to Bella a few years back.... And then a few hours later, I did that shit to Rose. Sure, it wasn't forced or any of that, and she wanted it just as much as I did... but neither her nor myself were the correct mind-frame for sex, and I shouldn't have pressured her.

But I did. And it was wrong.

"Dude, are you going to fucking hit the 'A' button so we can get our game on?"

I twisted and turned to Paul and shrugged, "Yeah man. Sorry."

"I've only got a few hours left here and I want to kick your ass."

I sighed, hitting the button, "I've got a lot on my mind."

"About what? Me kicking your ass?"

"No. Rose."

"Rose?"

"Yeah."

Paul looked over at me, furrowing his brows, "Dude, she's your girlfriend. The hard part is over, all the _impressing her_ stuff. So whatever it is you're worried about, realize you've already got it in the bag."

I scoffed, scratching my head through my baseball cap, "Yeah, maybe _having it in the bag _is half my problem."

"What?" he chuckled, shooting my character with his character's .44. "She not giving you any?"

I glared at him, before shooting his character down, "Not exactly. We just... I really messed up last night, when I was drunk."

"You cheat on her or something?"

I slugged him in his arm, throwing my controller down, "No dumbass. You know, I'm not really in the mood to play a game right now. I'm going to have a smoke."

"Man! I was just getting good and you have to quit because you know I'm on my way to beating your ass!"

"Yeah," I scoffed, "that's totally my reason why. You got me Paul."

"Hey, don't forget to wipe your vagina before you come back inside!"

I flipped him off as I walked out of the room.

Maybe some snow and some cold air would help me get my mind straight.

Maybe I needed a wake-up call.

Maybe I just needed... _something_.

I scoffed, looking over at the frozen lake.

_Hell, I didn't know what the fuck I needed._

* * *

**AlicePOV **

I opened the doors of the dressing room, doing my best _Marilyn Monroe_ twist possible, displaying the flow of the red dress perfectly.

"Wow," Jasper grinned, leaning back on two of the four legs of the chair in the Bebe's dressing room. "I _like _that one."

"Really?" I asked with a grin.

"_Really_," he smirked.

"Yeah... maybe..." I replied, twisting back around and re-entering the room. "You know," I called over the door, "it'd really help me out if you could tell me where we're going tomorrow night. That way I could be more prepared. 'Make sure it's fancy' doesn't really help that much."

I could hear Jasper chuckled, playing with a strap of a plastic shopping bag, "Sweetheart, I've done and told you. Anything you put on is going to look beautiful on you. Yes, red is my favorite color on you, especially after last night. But I also love white on you, as well as blue, orange, green, black, yellow, purple, pink... Hell, in fact, if you'd like to put on a _clear _outfit, then we wouldn't be going out _anywhere_. I'd keep you locked away with me in the bed all day."

I giggled, sliding into the tight blue dress, "You're such a tease."

"Oh I'm for real, my darlin'," he replied. "But it's whichever you prefer."

"Can you at _least _tell me if dinner is involved?" I pressed in my cutesy voice as I zipped the back of the silk garment up.

"Nope."

Growling, I opened the door and spun around again. "You're so complicated."

"Me?!" he teased, rising to his feet to check me out better. "_You're _the one who's tried on fifty some-odd dresses. _I _went into the store, picked out my outfit in under three minutes, had it paid for in five, and was out in no time."

"That's because you're a man," I joked.

"Yes. Yes I am."

"It's hard to pick an outfit when I have no idea what the occasion will uphold."

"Fancy. Dressy. That's all I'm telling you."

"I just," I fidgeted, twisting my heel around in a nervous fashion, "I feel... _different _now. Somehow. I guess I just... want to look sexy for you. More womanly. ...Does that sound stupid?"

He smiled at me, sitting back in the chair, not saying anything.

"What?" I blushed.

"Nothing... I'm just glad you're feeling sexy now. Like a woman should. I did well."

"Shut up!" My cheeks turned hotter. "I'm going back in to change now."

"Look, Alice," he chuckled, "just _pick _something. All your choices so far have been wonderful. Don't make me come in there after you."

I cracked the door open, hiding behind it, "You wouldn't dare."

Before I could blink, he was up at the door, taunting me with his sexy blue eyes. "Wanna bet?"

I giggled, trying to push him away.

But he didn't budge.

In no time, he was inside the dressing room with me, next to all my panties and strapless bra attire.

"Jasper!" I squealed, but he covered my mouth with his lips, pressing me against the door.

Of course, this was wrong, but the way his tongue slid into my mouth, so warm and perfect-like, it was hard to object.

When he trailed his moist lips down my jaw line, I closed my eyes, panting into his ear, "We could get kicked out of here."

"Do you want me to stop?" he teased, licking me along the side of my neck. "Because I am pretty good at feeling other people's emotions... And right now... I think you're pretty wound tight... I may have to relieve some tension for you."

His hot mouth drew in my earlobe, and I gasped, clutching my fingers to his black jacket. My hands grew a mind of their own, because without my knowledge, they were pushing it off of him and onto the floor, next to my jeans. I ran my fingers down his white t-shirt, untucking it from his belt.

He looked at me, wide-eyed in shock.

_Hmm_, I thought. _Seems that Mr._ _Confident is shocked that I've turned the tables_.

"Sweetheart, are you sure?"

I nodded, "Why not? It doesn't always have to be romantic, not that I didn't love the romance... but this is fun too. Good balance and all. But we've got to be really quiet and sort of quick."

Jasper bit his lip and looked down, unfastening his belt and unzipping his jeans as quickly but silently as possible. Then he began to work on my two garments, grinning from ear to ear, "Ohhh, I can be quiet. And quick, I suppose. If I must."

I grabbed him by his unfastened jeans, "Then get over here."

Now I don't know what has come over me, and why I am so confident now... but this was so wrong that it was fun! It was us, on top of the risk of getting caught, mixed with the emotions of wanting each other this badly!!

And it was naughty, yes, but oh-so-right, that we had to have each other right then and there in public.

Because seeing _my _man wearing those fitted jeans and that Abercrombie shirt, not to mention that blonde hair, those sunglasses, and that lip...

Yes. I wasn't waiting.

* * *

**EdwardPOV **

I waited a while before I got in the shower, drinking a couple of cups of coffee with my cousin Dean, trying to spend some time with him before they all take off today.

But the more and more I was away from Bella, even if we were in the same house, I still missed her.

_This couldn't be healthy. _ Regardless though, it was true.

After mine and Dean's conversation, I headed upstairs to the bathroom. Once I climbed in the shower, I lingered a while, not doing anything but soaking under the steamy water.

I was still trying to wake up. My energy level was pretty much drained due to the night before, and I think I lost my voice from the strain on my vocal cords -- possibly from all the talking, the yelling at James, or the romance with my Bella.

But I'd be more than willing to exhaust myself on a nightly basis for her.

After about ten minutes, I figured Bella wasn't going to come. As soon as I grabbed the shampoo, I felt two hands wrap around my stomach, and a head press against my spine. Immediately, I knew it was Bella, because of the chipped black fingernail polish on her nails.

I grinned, enjoying the feel of her against me, "I didn't think you were going to show."

"Sorry," she replied softly, "Rose told me that she wanted to have a roommate meeting with everyone in about forty minutes. She seemed upset, but wouldn't tell me why. I kept trying to get it out of her, with no luck. By the way, you sound really sexy when you lose your voice."

"Thanks." My stomach knotted, but I knew I was innocent, so I tried to shake it off, "I'm sure it's nothing big. In fact..." I turned around, cupping her face into my hands, "I know it's not. It's just a misunderstanding."

She looked puzzled, "H-How would you know about what's going on with her, but I don't?"

I took a deep breath, "Because... I'm sort of involved with it."

Bella sorted through reasons in her head for a few moments in silence. Then she clamped her hand over her mouth, stumbling backward against the glass door, "Oh my God. Is she pregnant?! Are you her _doctor _or something?!"

"What?!" I asked, trying not to laugh, or vomit. My voice was beyond strained, and hardly coming out at all, but I had to make it clear. "NO! No, no, no, no! _Hell _no." I shuddered, "Nooooo, I am most certainly _not _her doctor."

She dropped her hand from her lips, "Then... what is it?"

"You're shivering, come here," I said, pulling her trembling cold form under the hot water with me. I grabbed the shampoo, pouring some onto my hand and then rubbing it into her beautiful wet hair, "She sort of, I don't know, started this rumor that involved me, to get herself out of a situation she felt she was going to be trapped in, and it got around without her knowing, and now a lot of people are talking about it."

She ran her hands across my pecks, watching the water flow down my body, "That's typical Rose, lying to buy her way out of something. What was this one about?"

"Uh..." I inhaled, "about me... and her."

"Huh? Rose _hates _you. You _hate _her."

I began to massage her scalp with my fingers, kissing her cheek before I replied, "Hate's a strong word, love."

"Still true though. Why would she say something about you and her?"

I shook my head, not wanting to kill our mood.

So I decided to be direct and pour it all out, "Basically, from what I know, Rosalie and Jacob were foolin' around or fucking or whatnot, and then she felt trapped I suppose, thinking that he was going to grow feelings for her, so she decided to bail out on him. She told him that she and I had sex in her past and he bought it. She knew it'd piss him off."

Bella looked up at me, her hazel eyes wide and in shock. Her mouth was open. Her jaw was tense.

"Bella?"

"I..." she said, shaking her head. Then I watched as her fists clenched together, "I am going to FUCKING KILL HER!"

Before I could respond, Bella twisted around and swung the shower door open, full steam ahead. She slid clumsily around the floor as she tried to find her robe, but I quickly hopped out and grabbed her, pulling her back to my chest.

"Baby, sweetheart, angel, love, you cannot run out there half-naked and start taking swings at her. You have shampoo in your hair, and suds down your body, for crying out loud. I know you're upset, and you have reason to be, but please try and calm down."

"How can I calm down?!" she shouted, trying to unsuccessfully pull herself away from my grip, "She made up a lie that _she _had _sex _with my... my... my... _WHATEVER _you are to me!! That is _so _not something I would take lightly!"

"I know sweetheart," I said calmly, picking her up a few inches off the floor, and pulling her back inside the shower, "but reacting pissed off is not going to fix anything. It'll only create more problems, and that's not what you're wanting. Trust me, I know."

"This isn't cool!" she said, twisting around in the water as she hastily tried to clear away the shampoo, "Why are you so _okay _about this? She was lying about you too, in case you didn't notice!"

"I did notice. But there are rumors spread about me all the fucking time," I chuckled. "Remember? You thought I banged like eighty girls or something. That I was a player. Probably an asshole of sorts, which I can be."

"That is soooo not the point!" she spat, scrubbing down her body profusely with a bar of soap, her knuckles white as a ghost. "I learned the truth. But... I cannot _believe _she'd be so pathetic. Guh!"

Carefully, not trying to make any sudden movements, I reached out and pulled the Dove bar away from her, my hands kept in the air in a surrender motion. "Bella. Listen to me. Taking your anger out on the bar of soap is not going to settle anything either. Calm down, let me get you washed off, and myself clean... and then we'll quickly get dressed, and go down there, addressing it together."

She glared at me, but I gave her my best adoring expression possible, and she fell for it, slumping her shoulders over in defeat, "I'm sorry. But she just... _furiates _me."

"I understand," I nodded, turning her around to wash her back. "I'm sorry that this happened."

"I just..." she slouched down, "I don't get how you're not upset with her."

I sighed, my hands roaming down toward her ass. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her trying to fight back a smile as I washed her, and I decided to take advantage of her weakness, by pressing my frame up against that sudsy bottom and kiss on the back of her neck.

"You know," I began to say, between kisses, "You look so beautiful when you're all wet... So... delicious... Mmm..." I pushed her up against me, making sure she noticed what that ass was causing my body to do, "You're making me want to take advantage of you."

She giggled and tried to half-heartedly pull away. "Edward," she gasped, when she noticed by hands were roaming over her silky, wet breasts, "we can't do this right now. Roommate meeting, forty minutes. Rosalie, death wish...."

"I can be quick," I teased, kissing along her shoulders.

Reluctantly, she pulled away from me, "I'm sorry. But I'm just... I can't... when..."

I watched as her face frowned, and understood completely. "It's not a problem. I'm not upset with you. I was only playing."

She bit her lip, straining the excess water from her hair while I washed my own, "Rain check?"

I grinned and gave her a nod, watching her walk out of the shower. Then she twirled back around, and checked me out, "Oh, and Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks... for everything. Today, and last night... Especially last night."

I smiled, "You're welcome. And the appreciation is clearly mine. So thank you, Isabella."

She smiled, closing the door, "Now hurry up, or I'm going to kill her before you get done."

_Trust me_, I thought to myself, _I have no plans on dragging this shit on any longer than need-be._

* * *

**JacobPOV **

I woke up to the second verse of _'Sweet Dreams' _remake playing as my ringtone, loud volume and vibrating in my pocket. I hadn't even realized I had fallen asleep. And _Marilyn Manson_ screaming was not the best to wake up to.

I scratched my head and climbed up to a sitting position. Turning to Charlee, I asked, "How long have I been out?"

She giggled, chewing on a pen as her and Paul worked out a crossword puzzle, "About eight minutes."

"Oh," I replied, stretching my long limbs out. "Feels like I slept for a lot longer."

"You crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow," Paul said. "Must have been a long night."

Immediately, flashes of his sister Holly and myself crashed over me, and I felt a sickened notion in my stomach. I was so glad he sent her home to her Grandmother's in a cab last night. If I had to see her today, I'm sure he would have found out about what I did to his little sister.

_It's amazing how things seem like such brilliant ideas when you're pissed off and drunk, and then when you sober up, they seem... not so brilliant._

I picked up a Nerf football, launching it and hitting Rosalie square in the ass. She twisted around in her white capri jeans, five inch heels, and yellow tank top, looking downright pitiful. "What the fuck is your problem?" I asked, yawning.

"You're about to find out," she sighed.

"Is that why I'm down here and not in my bed? Because you want to have some sort of roommate epiphany?"

"Something like that."

"Well," I stretched again, before rising to my feet. I sauntered over to her, and rubbed her arms. After all, she and Bella were still my friends. "Why don't you tell me now, and let me skip this whole meeting and go to bed? I'm exhausted."

She bit her lip, not meeting my eyes, "I... can't just yet. I won't be able to. I have to have everyone here facing me and eyeing me down, that way the pressure will be on me. If not, I'll chicken out."

"Rose," I chuckled, "it's me. Jacob. You can tell me anything."

She nodded meekly, still looking at the ground, "I sure hope that's true."

I gave her a slight hug, and then let go when I noticed Bryan coming down the stairs, holding onto the spiky-haired guy from last night. I felt sick instantly. Glaring at her, I watched him pull her in his arms and hug her tight while he kissed her.

She wiped the lipstick off of his lips, whispering something in his ear that I couldn't hear from this distance, and then walked him to the door. She gave him another kiss before saying goodbye to him. Then she turned and breezed past me, not bothering to even look my way.

Taking a deep breath, I slumped back down on the couch and tossed my feet on the glass coffee table.

"Isn't love grand?" her sister Charlee asked with a nudge to my arm.

I turned and gave her my best annoyed expression, "It isn't love."

"Please. It's so obvious that you and Bryan still care. I don't care what you two say or do to try and prove us wrong. We all know the truth."

"Whatever," I hissed at her, lighting a cigarette. "Like it fucking matters now. We're not together, we hardly know each other, and we both hooked up with other people last night. I say that pretty much clears it up that, regardless of if we like each other, it's not going to work."

"Did you know that most one-night stands lead to full-blown relationships?"

"No."

"It's statistically proven. Were you going to hook up with women before you saw her go upstairs with Aaron?"

"No."

"Then... I'd say that explains a lot."

I ignored the growl hidden in the back of my throat, and casually watched Bryan saunter around the kitchen in her low waisted jeans and black t-shirt.

_We are even fucking dressed the same right now._

She hopped up on the counter, rubbing the top of Dean's hair while he chatted away to her about going back to New York City tonight. They were making plans to meet up and hang out, like they used to do.

I rubbed my forehead, taking a drag of my cigarette. Then Alice and Jasper bounced through the door, laughing as they attempted to carry multiple shopping bags with just four hands.

"Sorry we took so long Rose," Jasper said as they passed the den, "we got caught up. We're just going to take this stuff upstairs and drop it off, and we'll be back down."

"It's fine," Rosalie replied, looking all too nervous for her own good.

I crinkled my forehead, trying to figure her out. It wasn't like her to seem so frazzled.

_What was bothering her so much?_

I guessed I'd find out soon enough.

* * *

**BellaPOV **

I bit my lip, staring down at my pile of clothes on the bed. Edward was sweet enough to dress first -- choosing to wear a blue-grey sweatshirt with a longer white t-shirt underneath, and black jeans -- and then run downstairs and grab my clothes out of dryer for me while I sorted out my hair.

I didn't know if it was all my frustrations from my sister Rosalie's manufactures romance with the love of my life, or my nerves from the whole "what are Edward and I now?" question that keeps bouncing around in my reckless brain... but something felt off. And I couldn't concentrate.

Edward wrapped his arms around my robed waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. "I think you should wear that," he said, pointing to a pair of my drawstring black capri sweatpants. "It'd look sexy on you."

"But you look so good," I whined, leaning back into him. "I wouldn't feel right standing next to you wearing frumpy old rags."

"Bella," he chuckled, massaging my ribs delicately, "how many _times _do we have to go _through _this? You are good enough; I don't want to hear that come from your lips again. You're stressing over your sister and you have a headache. Why not dress for comfort today?"

I chewed the inside of my lip, slumping into him with another pout, "Fine."

He kissed my cheek, before releasing me and walking toward the dresser while I threw one of his fitting black t-shirts I ended up washing with my load. Hearing his breathing hitch caused me to stop changing, and I looked up to see him frozen, holding out some Tylenol and a glass of water for me.

"What?"

He grinned, walking slowly toward me, "Do a spin."

"What?" I giggled.

"Do it. For me, please?"

Caving in, I spun around. "What's this about?"

"Just... seeing you in those panties and _my _shirt. It's so sexy, oh my gosh."

"Edward," I blushed, quickly finding my sweats, "stop it."

"I'm sorry. I cannot help it."

After taking the medicine, I finished getting dressed and folding my clothes, while Edward watched me while he sat on his side of the bed.

He picked up my journal from the nightstand, raising a left eye-brow, "What is this?"

Before I could think, I hopped over my folded piles on the mattress and grasped it from his hands, breathing heavily, "It's nothing!"

"Whoa, easy killer."

"It's personal!" I declared, holding it to my chest while I climbed off the bed and backed away from him. "I shouldn't have left it out. I'm sorry."

He held his hands in the air, "My bad. I didn't know, I thought it was just a notepad or book or something."

"It isn't," I replied. "Can you cover your eyes so that I can put it away?"

"Do you feel that is really necessary?"

"Yes. I do."

"Fine," he sighed, doing as I asked, "but I think you should just trust that I wouldn't read it without your permission."

"I don't trust anyone when it comes to this," I said, hiding it in my special place. "Sorry."

"No worries. Can I uncover my eyes now?"

"Yes."

Edward headed over to me, holding out his hand, "Come on. We've got a show to go to downstairs. It should be interesting."

"Yeah," I exhaled sarcastically, taking his hand. "I can't wait."

* * *

**RosaliePOV **

I could feel everyone's eyes staring at me. Burning into me... with anger or curiosity or both.

Alice, Jasper, Jacob, and Paul with Charlee on his lap, were all sitting on the couch.

Emmett was in the rocking recliner, closest to me, basketball in his lap.

Bryan sat on the loveseat with Dean. Makin and Colleen were sitting on the floor in front of the chaise, holding hands.

Edward and Bella quickly sat together on the chaise. Edward threw his left arm behind her and his right in front of her, pulling her half-way in his lap. She leaned over and put her head on his shoulder, squinting her eyes. He noticed immediately, and brought his left hand around her shoulder and against her forehead, shielding her eyes from the light on the ceiling.

She was glaring daggers at me. This meant that she already knew what this meeting was about.

I cleared my throat, staring at my heel and the hardwood floor beneath me, "Thanks for being willing to listen to me," I said meekly. "It shouldn't take long."

No one said anything. That made it worse.

"Um," I began staggered, "Most of you know what is going on and what this is about... Actually, I think everyone knows now but..." I pursed my lips, my eyes watering as I looked at Jacob, "you."

"Great," he replied sarcastically.

I thought quickly about all the times that Jake had been there for Bella and me. How he helped loan us money for a down-payment on our house. How he protected us through school and college. How he watched over us at clubs, kept the jerks away. How he took us to movies, and on Spring Break with him. How we had our movie nights on Thursdays, when we invited all our friends over and watch the classics. He always made the popcorn.

I thought about the times I'd cry over guys I liked at the time, and how he'd lay in my bed beside me for hours. He was never sarcastic around us during those times in need. Always genuine and soothing. I remembered when I was sick and PMSing and he went in the store for me to get my Tampax. I remember all the times I grew crushes on him, and thought about him. How he took Bella and I for rides on his crotchrocket... How I talked him into letting me paint his fingernails. How he'd bail me out of lame dates or work meetings when I felt like not being there.

Jake was one of my best friends.

I held both hands over my chest, breathing slowly, "Jake..." I exhaled, "I don't know how to say this to you."

He looked confused. His voice was calm when he spoke though, as he could sense my nervousness and wanted to be there for me -- like I deserve it. "Just say it, Rose."

I sucked in my top lip, staring at my blue polished toes, "I lied to you. To everyone."

"About what?" he asked.

I took a steady breath, "Jake, I didn't have sex with Edward Cullen."

He looked... more confused, "What?"

I shook my head, "It's the truth. I'm not just saying that I didn't because Bella is here. I _really _didn't... I've never even kissed him, except for on game night last week."

"But I thought you-"

"I lied to you."

Most people's mouths were dropped, except for Bella and Edward's. He just held her close, turning her face away so she could bury it in the crook of his neck. Emmett just clutched the basketball in his lap, giving me a reassuring glance.

Jacob looked... wrathful. He shot up off the couch, staring me down, "What the fuck, Rose? Why would you say that to me?!"

"I'm sorry," I replied shakily, but holding my ground, "I didn't mean to hurt you, I just felt there was no way out."

"No way out?!" he hissed. "From _what_?!"

"From us," I said. "From... what we were becoming. I felt you had grown feelings for me, and I didn't want that, and I just-"

"So you said you fucked Cullen so I'd back away."

I nodded sheepishly. "...Yes."

"I cannot fucking believe you did that to me, Rose. To _me_."

"I know. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am."

"Don't fucking apologize to me when you can't even look me in the eye," he continued. "That isn't fair to me."

"I really am sorry. I just... I began to like someone else and I knew you wouldn't understand how quickly I'd be able to move on. I just wanted to rip the Band-Aid off. I didn't think it'd get around, and then Bryan told me you wouldn't date her because she was just another girl that did stuff with Edward, and then everyone heard and... I'm sorry."

"Wait. Wait. Just back the fuck up," he said, shaking his head. Then he thrust his finger at me, "You liked someone else... Emmett, I presume?"

I gave him a nod, my heart clenching.

"Isn't that fucking wonderful," he scoffed, looking from me to Emmett. "So does he know about you and me then? From before?"

I closed my eyes, shaking my head and preparing for the worse.

"What _about _you and him?" Emmett asked me.

"Are you going to tell him?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes closed as tears streamed from them.

"I think you should," Jake said.

I nodded. I owed Jacob that, and I didn't want to keep any secrets from Emmett. I loved them both too much. "Jacob and I... we had sex here at the cabin," I whispered. "A few times. We even..." I exhaled, shaking my head, "messed around when you were in the same room, that first night."

Emmett scoffed. Most of the girls had their mouths or faces covered. Edward didn't even look at me, nor did my sister. Alice looked sad for me, while Jasper appeared stunned. Jacob didn't look any happier.

"You know," Jacob said, walking toward me and standing in front of me. He kept his voice calm, meant just for me, "I wasn't growing feelings like _that _for you, Rosalie. I knew we were friends, and I was attracted to you, sure. But I knew you found Emmett attractive, as did I with other girls. I thought we had an understanding. This could have all been avoided if you would have just asked me _before _you presumed."

I nodded, tilting my head as my chin quivered. I tried to reach out and touch him, but he stepped away, shaking his head. "Jake. I'm so sorry that I lied and I assumed stuff. I wish I could fix this but... I don't know how. I don't know what to do."

"Don't just apologize to me, Rose. Apologize to Edward too. And Bella. And Bryan, while you're at it. Not to mention your _boyfriend_."

I looked over to Bryan, who was glaring at me as well, "I'm sorry."

She nodded, not taking her upset eyes off of me.

Then I turned to Edward and Bella, "You guys... I'm so sorry."

"I don't want to hear it Rose," Bella said, not opening her eyes or removing her head from Edward, "Not now. You're my sister and I love you, but I _am _upset with you. I just can't deal with this right now. I have a headache, I feel dizzy, and we'll talk about it later."

"Okay."

Then I turned to Edward, "Do you hate me?"

"Hate's a strong word, like I told your sister," he replied. "I just don't understand why you'd say _me_. I know it'd piss Jacob off, but you should have thought about that. Like Black and I need any other reasons to dislike each other."

"I know. Will you forgive me though?"

He exhaled, rubbing Bella's back, "Yes. I forgive you."

Next I turned to Emmett, "I'm s-"

"It's fine," he said, not looking at me but at the turned off television. "We'll talk about it later when we're alone, okay?"

"...Yeah." I replied. "Well... that's all I had to say. Sorry for those who thought something else. And for those of you who are all leaving tonight, which is all but Bryan and Charlee... I hope you guys have a safe trip. It's nice to meet all of you and share some fun times, and I hope we have more later. I hope you all don't look at me with disgust."

"We don't," Colleen replied. She was a good friend. "We love you and you're human. We get that."

"Thanks."

But I didn't feel better. I felt numb.

* * *

**BellaPOV **

After dinner, Jasper and Emmett drove our friends to the airports.

Saying goodbye to Colleen was sad, but she was my best friend, so I knew I'd see her in a little under a week.

Bryan and Charlee were staying an extra night, because their flight got delayed. The last I saw them for the night, Charlee was packing her stuff and talking to Alice, and Bryan convinced Jacob to talk with her. They went upstairs to his room. Alice and Jasper were now going to take Edward's old room, once everything was washed up real nice.

I was laying down on my bed, curled up in fetal position with the lights off. Edward was behind me, with his chin on my shoulder, rubbing my head.

"Maybe I should call my father, or we should go to the doctor," Edward suggested, being paranoid. He was always like this when I felt under the weather, even when we were young.

I chuckled, rubbing his free hand, which rested on my hip, "You are a doctor."

"I'm an OB-GYN, Bella."

"Same difference."

"No," he laughed, "I look at nether regions and do breast exams. That's a big difference."

"I'm fine, Edward."

"Did you take more Tylenol?"

"I've taken four so far today. I don't want to over-do it."

"Did you drink caffeine?"

I sighed, "A few cups of black coffee this morning."

"That can do it. Caffeine can _help _a headache, because it increases the value of painkillers and constricts blood vessels, so they're not enlarging -- which causes headaches to form. But it can also _encourage _a headache, if it's combined with sugar and an empty stomach. Or large quantities of it."

I snickered, "Here we go, Doctor Cullen at my rescue."

"I just want you to feel better. The fact that you're having an extreme reaction to light sensitivity means you don't have a headache, but a migraine. Especially since the pain is prolonged."

"So what do we do?" I groaned, tucking my head under the nearest pillow.

"Do you have throbbing in your head and feel sort of... off?"

"Yes."

"Tension?"

"A little," I sighed.

"Alright, I'll be right back."

"No, don't leave me," I whined, reaching out blindly to grasp his arm.

He chuckled, kissing the tops of my hand before my prying my fingers off, "I'll be right back, Angel."

A few staggering minutes later, I heard him re-enter the room, but didn't bother to open my eyes. I felt the pillow being removed, and something cold placed on my head. I winced and tried to remove it, but he didn't allow me to.

"It's an icepack wrapped in a towel," he said. "It refuses the tension to expand. Lift your head, I am going to place another one under your neck as well."

I did as directed, reaching out to find his hands again.

"One more sec, love," he said. "Next, I bring you corn chips."

"Corn chips?" I asked, confused.

"Yes. Salt can alleviate the vessels, diminish any sugar intake, and calm the attack. Eat up."

Keeping my eyes closed, I opened the bag and began to chew on one.

"No more television, maybe just the sound of light and soothing music, okay?"

"Yes," I grinned. _He was being so sweet!_

"Finally, I'm going to sit over you and rub your head, okay?"

I nodded, chewing a few more chips.

While Edward re-situated us to where he could straddle my waist without hurting me, and began to work his wonders on my head, neck, and shoulders, I remained silent for about fifteen minutes.

So did he, keeping me relaxed and comfortable.

After a while though, I realized I missed his voice. Therefore, I decided I'd ask him a few more questions. "I know the obvious reasons, like Esme's loss of Catherine Angel last year, but... why else did you decide to be an OB-GYN?"

He exhaled, massaging me above my nose, "For babies, mostly."

"Babies?"

"Yes. I love them. Seeing them open their eyes for that first time... Wow. I love being able to be that first person that helps expand a family. For these couples and mothers to place their lives in my hand, knowing I'll do my very best for them... it's an amazing feeling. I plan to have a houseful one day. Or being able to catch cervical cancer while it's at its first stages, and having that advantage to do something... Or when a sixteen year old girl who has no one else to turn to because her mother is religious and her father's a dirtbag, and she's thinking about sex and wants to be safe... "

I could hear him smiling, and it made me smile while he continued, "I get to be that person that explains to her the necessities of waiting, or at least being _safe_... and to reassure her to do what's in her heart, and not necessarily what her parents think. I get to be the man that spends endless hours over an operating table, with back ache and stress and time away from my friends, but realize it's worth it in the end, because I just gave a sixty year old woman a new chance at life. I helped give her hope. ...It's really a beautiful feeling, Bella."

I smiled, reaching my hands up to rub along his arms, "You always amaze me. You're so sweet, and so cocky. Such a wonderful heart, but such a man's man. You're all in one."

"Take it or leave it," he grinned, lightly scratching my scalp. "I don't bullshit, that's for sure."

"I love that about you," I replied, opening my eyes slowly. Most of the lights were off still, with the exception of the one coming out of the crack of the bathroom, and his bright green eyes and structured jaw line shown perfectly.

"Edward," I whispered, "I've really missed having you around these past few years."

He tilted his head, and then gave me my favorite smile, bending down and kissing my cheek gently, "I've missed you too, Bella."

"God," I said, throwing my arms around to give him a hug, "you turn me into such a cheeseball!"

"That's okay," he chuckled, pulling back away to continue rubbing my head, "it's fun."

"Yeah," I grinned, re-closing my eyes. "It really is."

"Hey Bella..." Edward said. "Do you want to know what else is really good for headaches?"

"What?" I grinned, opening my eyes again.

"Sex."

I giggled, not responding.

"Come on," he said, leaning down and peppering kisses along the left side of my neck. "I distinctively remember you saying something about a rain check earlier today."

I bit my lip, smiling, "Yes I did."

"And I can tell you're beginning to feel better..."

"Yes," I laughed. "A little."

"And I won't make you do a lot of work," he continued his bribery in that velvet voice of his, "I promise."

"But if I'm going to be having sex with you, then I'd want to be an active participant."

"But we have to think about your head condition, first?"

"Head condition?" I laughed. "Please. I think you're more worried about _your, _um_, head _condition... Hint, hint."

"Hey," he said, "okay, that's it; you're paying for that one."

I started to object, but before I could, he had tossed the icepacks on the opposite side of the bed, and began to poke at my ribs and tickle me.

"Edward!" I gasped, trying to pull away from him, which didn't work so well considering he was sitting on me, "Stop it!"

"Nope. You have to reap what you sew, Bella." He began to tickle me worse, causing me to squeal and laugh and squirm around everywhere. I tried to buck him off, which he got a kick out of, but that didn't work either.

"STOP IT!" I said, as he held my arms over my head, laughing while he tortured me.

"Do you apologize for talking about my penis, Bella?"

"Yes!" I gasped, twisting around on my belly.

"I don't believe you," he said, as he began to playfully smack my ass.

"You're being hateful!" I said, clawing at the bed. "I'm sad to you right now!"

"_You're _sad to _me_!?" he joked, jabbing at my ribs and along the backside of my neck. "_I'm _sad to _you_!"

I tried to buck him off of me again, but that didn't work. Before I could blink, he stood on top of the bed, and I was now upside down, with my shirt hanging almost over my head, and my legs in his hands.

"EDWARD!" I said, trying to pull my shirt back up to keep from revealing my pink bra, while my head dragged along the mattress, "this isn't funny!"

He laughed, bringing me up around to where I was now wrapped around him, my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. Then he dropped us back down to the bed, in a straddle position, tickling me again.

I decided the only way to get out of this situation was to target his _'can't handle it without being turned on' _areas, by yanking hard on his hair and biting down on the side of his neck.

Instantly, he fell backward onto the end of the bed, bringing me on top of him. He gasped, trying to push me away, but I wasn't having any of that.

"Tell me you're sorry," I said, tugging on the ends of his hair again.

"I'm sorry Bella," he said, exasperated.

"_I'm _sorry," I said, mocking his earlier words, "but I don't believe you."

"Bella," he nearly groaned, trying to lift me off of him, "don't start something you're not going to finish. I mean it."

"Is that a threat?" I asked, climbing higher on his chest and biting the other side of his neck, while my fingers worked on his sex hair.

"Yes," he answered breathlessly. "It... is."

"I'm not convinced," I whispered, flicking his ear lobe with the end of my tongue.

"Fuck," he said, closing his eyes as he again attempted to lift me off of him. He was incredibly strong and would have had me, but I locked my legs to his hips so firmly, I wasn't budging. "I'm pretty sure I can fucking convince you that my threat is real."

"Oooh," I giggled, biting his neck again, causing him to gasp, "are you sure?"

"Don't tempt me, girly."

_God I loved him being _feisty_ like this with me. He was so sexy._

I giggled, pushing him further by bringing my hand between our bodies and caressing his jeans.

Being in thin sweatpants had its advantages, and I could feel his body reacting instantly, as it touched my inner thigh. I wanted to taunt him about it, but knew he'd probably get me back for it, so I decided against it, nibbling on his bottom lip instead. He put my mouth to work, drawing his tongue out and into mine, pushing my face into his.

I gave him access the moment he wanted it, sucking fervently on his tongue. The taste of him was _incredible_, the best taste ever, and the urgency as he crushed my body on top of his said he _really _wanted me.

It only drove me on further.

It was as if there was a _fire _that suddenly ignited under us.

Because we just... went for it.

I held myself up on top of him, pulling away from his lips in order to get his t-shirt off. He sat up with me, helping me with the bra clasp. Then he pushed me backward, and we switched positions, him on top of me facing the headboard. I yanked his sweater off, almost ripping it by accident, and then his white t-shirt beneath it.

Our mouths were all over each other's, our lips, our necks, our throats, our jaws. Hands were caressing everywhere, my nails along his shoulder blades and fisting in his hair, while he rubbed his along my lips and breasts.

Our breathing was strained and loud, as our body heat accelerated immensely.

He began to work on my pants, kissing me with passion, but when he couldn't get the drawstring undone, he rolled us over again, me back on top of him, and he undid it quickly. I climbed down his legs, kissing around his belly button while I popped his button apart.

Then his strong hands found my forearms, and he lifted me up, pulling my back on top of him. Again, we rolled over, and my feet helped assist his, until his jeans were dangling from the end of the bed.

He pulled himself to his hands and knees, and I lifted myself up, so he could pull the pants off me. My panties were next, as our heap of clothes grew bigger. Once I was naked, I pushed him backward, his head back on the foot of the bed, and I climbed above him in a straddle position. He helped me with his boxers, and they also made it to the pile -- or somewhere around there. I wasn't exactly paying attention, since my mind was... _elsewhere_.

Once he rolled us over again, him on me, he supported my head with his hand beneath it, so it was hanging off the edge of the mattress. "Wait, wait, wait," he said, panting into my shoulder.

I licked my lips and his taste off of him, drawing my hands around his neck, "What is it?"

He shook his head, not removing his face from my skin, "I need to find my control. It's easy to lose it around you, being that I just want you so badly, all the time. I've honestly never wanted a woman more in my life. But I don't want to be rough with you. Okay?"

I nodded, pulling his face back so he can look at me. I caressed his jaw, giving him my most warming smile, "Edward. I trust you, and even if you wanted to be rough with me, I know you'd never hurt me-"

"I wouldn't," he said, cutting me off. "I swear, I'll never hurt you."

"I know," I said, running my hands from his jaw, to the back of his neck, down on his shoulders. "You don't have to walk on egg shells around me though. We have trust and love for each other, so it's completely understandable if passion takes control over us. If you're a little rough or whatever, it won't hurt me. I don't break that easy."

He snickered, burying his eyes into my neck, "Oh Bella. What am I going to do with you? Tempting me the way you do? I think you do it on purpose."

"Well," I said, scratching his scalp and causing him to hum, "I'd say... you enjoy it."

He pulled back, looking at me with love. "Okay... well, let's enjoy it then."

I smiled, kissing his lips, "Let's."

"Let's," he repeated, kissing me back.

"Let's," I egged on, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Let's," he murmured one last time on my lips, before kissing me in the way that makes all my oxygen float out of my body.

_Man, I loved it when Edward took care of my headaches. _

* * *

**EmmettPOV **

I couldn't eat dinner. I couldn't stomach food.

Thinking about more of the revelations of Rose and Jacob sucked. I knew they fooled around, but never knew they had sex. And for me to be in the room at one point?? _That's fucking sick._

All I could think about was that day when I walked in on Rosalie and Jacob, when he was on his way to the restroom and she was in a towel. She swore they didn't do anything, but now... can anyone blame me for wondering if that was really true?

Nothing else I thought was true.

And taking that drive with Jasper to drop off our friends didn't help.

Jasper and I decided to stop by the bar on the way back to the cabin, and he drank a few shots with me. It wasn't helping either. I sat at the bar, burying my face in my hands. My legs were shaking, feet tapping against the barstool.

Jasper leaned over, patting my back, "I know you're upset with Rosalie, man. It sucks."

"Yeah," I scoffed. "It does."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I took a deep breath, scratching my head after I tossed my hat on the bar, "I feel so fucking sick, man. And frustrated. I don't know if I should be acting this way, or feeling this way, but I can't help it. I know I wasn't with her, technically, when she and Jake screwed around. But I mean, how can she hook up with him and then go straight to me? How can she fool around with him with _me _in the same _room_? How can she create lies about her and Edward? It's all fucking sick."

"Yeah," Jasper agreed. "It's all pretty messed up. She tried to make things easier by soothing it over, but in the end, it made it worse."

I nodded, swallowing down another shot of Jose. "That's not the worst part. We almost had sex, last night. For the first time. I was drunk and pissed about her lying. I wanted to her to make it up to me, prove to me that she wanted me, so I ensued the idea of sex, and she went for it. But I was... pretty inconsiderate about her stature, and I woke up from my ignorance and stopped when she started crying. I took care of her, soothing her in the bath. Non-stop apologies, put myself through a major guilt trip. I felt like shit all night, barely slept, thought about it all day today, about how much of an ass I was..."

I took a sip of my beer, continuing my rant, "Treating women like that, man, that's not me. I'm smarter than that shit, I was raised better. And I thought I could let that lie go, and make it up to her when I got over my guilt from it... then I find out all _this _bullshit?? It's too much man. Even if I love her, I really think it's just too much."

Jasper was silent for a moment, brotherly rubbing my back while we drank. Then he said, "Is loving her worth all of this?"

I shrugged, shaking my head, "I think I fell too fast for her. Something happened, I can't explain it. But I really thought she was the one, as stupid as it sounds in the little time I allowed myself to truly know her. We went to High School together, but we were different people back then. This was different. And I got confused, let my guard down, and fell for her. And look what it did? It bit me in the fucking ass."

"I wish I knew what to do for you, man."

"I love her but it's... ahh, it's just..." I pounded my chest, "it's crushing my heart. In this little of time? You know... I mean, it's different with Edward and Bella. No offense to you Jazz or anything, but... Edward and Bella, man, they're _soulmates_."

We swallowed another shot, but I kept going, " And God _himself _is not going to be able to rip them apart this time. I don't care if He brings the fucking floods, the tornadoes, the tsunami's, the earthquakes, the volcanoes, the ice storms... _NOTHING _is going to separate them again. It's just one of those things that's so obvious. They let each other go, they both came back... it's fate."

I looked over to Jasper, "You-you can just see it in their _eyes_, you've been able to see it all along! Even when she was with you or he was with... whoever... I remember the day they got into the accident, and once they got inside and we were all hugging the girls... Edward was with Alice and you were with Bella, but I watched Bella's face man. She was just... staring over your shoulder and _longing _for him. _I _almost ached, just watching how much they wanted each other but didn't speak up!"

After a minute of silence, I decided I still wasn't finished, "And they've had it rough, don't get me wrong. Their disagreements, their fights. But they _always _came back. And I'm sure Edward kicking James's ass two days from Sunday the other day is going to be hard when Bella finds out, but... she won't leave him. Because he did it for her, to protect her. To make sure James learned a lesson and wouldn't do that to any other men. ...But with Rose, loving her... it just... it's turned out to suck right now."

Jasper nodded, pondering over my statements. I felt like a jackass for bringing him and Bella's past in the conversation, but what I said was true and he knew it.

"Wait, wait," he said. "Edward kicked James's ass the other day? When?! How did he even know about that shit?!"

That's when I realized I may have had one shot too many. I meekly turned to him, nodding, "Just don't say anything man. It happened during the party, only James got hurt, Edward was supervised, and James won't be talking to the cops. Bella doesn't know, so just drop it, all right? Forget I mentioned it, I wasn't supposed to. I was just on a rant."

"I won't say anything," Jasper said, looking aweshocked. "But I just... I cannot believe Edward brought him all the way from Seattle just to kick his ass. And James, I met him a few times, and he's fucking... he's a douche. Fucking psycho. I don't know how Edward did it."

"Nothing get's in the way of that man's rage when it comes to Bella," I assured him. "Edward will kick any guy's ass when it comes to attacking a woman... but with Bella, man, I thought he was seeing fucking red. He had the best self control, he taught that boy a lesson... It was like KA-PLOW!" I shouted, punching my fist into my other palm. "It was great. James never stood a chance."

"...Wow," Jasper replied, shaking his head, eyes wide. "That's insane."

"That's Edward for ya. Risking his life, and his relationship for Bella... to do the right thing. He'll fight for women, he'll give the shirt off his back to anyone. Pull people from burning fires. Help to try to cure cancer and shit... Edward may be cocky and arrogant, but the man has his reasons. He is the shit."

Jasper laughed, "I'll give you that. He's hard to dislike. Nearly impossible."

"Yeah. He's my best buddy."

"He's a good guy," Jasper agreed. "But what are you going to do with Rose?"

"That," I answered, pushing the beer away and paying the tab, "is a good question."

* * *

**JacobPOV **

The house seemed empty without all the free-loaders lurking around in it.

I walked into the kitchen, digging through the cupboards for something to munch on. My talk with Bryan went surprisingly well. I told her the truth about my hook-ups last night, and she told me the truth about hers.

We realized that, although we had amazing chemistry and perfect sex, and we liked each other a lot, we needed to slow down and be friends first... possibly friends with benefits. But I agreed that I needed to get over my crutch over Cullen -- which I am getting better at -- and she agreed that pushing me over it won't help.

So, we decided that when she leaves in the morning, we'd stay in touch and see where it goes. I felt better about it, having a clean slate. It still bothered me when I thought about those girls with Cullen, sure. But truth be told, I'm the same amount of asshole as I made him out to be, so I really had no room to talk.

I realized that tonight.

Bryan and Charlee were spending the rest of the night with their cousin Alice, while Jasper and Emmett were out. Bella and Edward were upstairs doing God knows what. Rosalie was sitting by the fireplace with no lights or television on, looking quite upset.

After grabbing my favorite Cool Ranch Doritos, I decided to go in there and keep her company, proving that I forgave her for what she did. I sat on the opposite side of the ottoman from her, giving her a slight smile.

She smiled faintly back.

"What's up?" I asked, holding out the bag for her.

She shook her head, wiping under her eyes, "I am humiliated for everything I've done since I've been here. For harboring Bella, for pushing her on Jasper and away from Edward. For what I did to you, and to Emmett. For making a complete ass of myself in front of everyone's friends. I'm just... embarrassed."

"I fell off the roof before," I said, munching on some chips.

She looked over at me with swollen eyes, and a crinkled forehead.

"It's true," I continued. "Onto the hood of my dad's busted truck. Into the splits. Ripped my pants, smashed my balls to hell. I started crying, you should have seen it, it was awful. I thought I needed to go to the hospital, that my dick wasn't going to work. It was really bad. I was trying to skateboard off the roof and impress a girl... I ended up on the top of a hood with busted balls, split pants, red face, and crying like a little baby."

She giggled, unable to hide it, "that's funny."

"Yeah. I also made up this lie in junior high. I said I was dating this girl, she was really popular in a grade above me. Told fucking everyone that she was going to be my date to the dance. She ended up showing up with this jock and announcing over the mic that she never even spoke to me, in front of my entire class."

She giggled again.

"My point is, everyone fucks up. That's the way life goes. We all do it. Emmett's done it, I'm sure. Jasper, Alice, myself... even Bella and Fuckward. We all are human and shit fucking happens."

I grabbed another chip, shoving it in my mouth, "Rosalie, look. It's easy to fall down, because we're closer to the ground than we are the sky. It's the picking ourselves back up, dusting our shit off, and climbing back to the top that takes balls. And you've got balls. You'll be fine."

She nodded slowly, staring at the flames, "I can be a bad person. Maybe I deserve this?"

"Everyone has evil in them. Want some examples?"

"Sure," she giggled.

"Okay... let's see. You have evil in you, for your lies and obsession with vanity. I have evil in me because I made Bella cheat on me, twice. I fucked a minor. I talk shit. I start fights. Edward's evil because he cheated on Bella, and is fucking arrogant as fuck. Alice is evil cause she conspired to pull Jasper away from Bella behind her back. And Jasper's evil because he wanted Alice when he had Bella. We all do fucking stupid ass shit for no reason other than it sounds good at the time. And it bites us in the ass. It _happens_. You're not going to be burned at the stake for what you did, Rose. They aren't going to chase you down with fucking blow torches, sticks, and rocks. They're not going to create séances about you and pull out voodoo dolls on your breasts."

She laughed loudly, shaking her head, "Stop it!"

"No, I'm serious! If _anyone's _going to get burned at the stake, it'll be me first, I'm sure. So even if you're after me, my big ass will put that fucking fire out, so you'll have nothing to worry about."

"Jacob!" she shouted, and we both laughed in unison.

Finally, she reached out and stole a few chips from my bag. "You know, I can see why Bryan likes you so much. Bella and I... and Bryan... we see what's under. We know how real you can be, how good of a friend you are."

"Stop it, you're making me blush," I said, patting my hand in the air like a girl. "No, but seriously, all fucking bullshit aside, you've just got to put that shit behind you and move on. Fuck anyone who wants to hold it against you. All right?"

"Sure," she whispered, eating another chip. "Yeah."

We sat for a few moments, watching the orange flames bounce up and down. It was comfortable being with her, relaxing. It always was. And she didn't know it, but she made me feel better too.

But all good things don't last forever, and it was proven when Jasper and Emmett walked through the door. Jasper was whispering something to Emmett, and then patted him on the back before walking away.

Emmett stood in front of the door, glaring at us on the seat. Then he looked down, shaking his head and sniffling.

Was he crying?

I looked over at Rose, and she looked back at me, appearing nervous. We listened as he strolled over to us, dragging his feet along.

Meekly, he said, "Rose. I need to talk to you, please."

She looked over rat me again, swallowing hard.

Then she nodded, "...Okay."

I watched as they walked away, a good distance away from each other.

It didn't look good.

* * *

**RosaliePOV **

This didn't feel right.

My palms were sweating, I could barely breathe, my throat was tight, my chest ached.

I felt disgusting.

I followed Emmett all the way until we got to the deck on the first level.

Throwing my jacket on, I crossed my arms over my chest in a protective stance.

I didn't want to speak first and knew I shouldn't.

Speaking was what got me into so much trouble in the first place.

Emmett looked down to the snowed wood on the deck, and I watched in the dark as his breath shown in the cold. His eyes were glossy and red and though I could smell liquor, I knew he wasn't drunk.

This meant he was crying, or had been.

I took a deep, unsteady breath and waited it out.

It seemed as if an hour passed us by. Standing out here, in the cold, unable to think.

"You..." he said eventually, still looking down, his voice cracking and shaky, "...are not a bad person. Okay? You're not. I want you to know that."

I nodded, trying to catch my breath, "...Okay..."

"And I know we're all stupid at times..."

"...Yeah..."

"And I thought I could let things go, and apologize for what I did to you last night. I thought I could let the lying thing pass..."

I nodded, as I began to tremble.

He exhaled, keeping his head dropped still, "But then things started to build up... and one by one, they just kept... adding..."

I wanted to say something, to apologize but was afraid to speak up. So I didn't.

"And I kept asking myself, _was it worth it, was it worth it_? And if it was one or a few things, then yeah, maybe I could fight for it..."

Emmett's voice trailed off and I watched as a single tear fell from his eye and into the snow on the porch, leaving an indent in the white powder.

He was silent for a few moments, trying to pull himself internally together. A few more tears fell, and he wiped them away with the back of his red, frozen fingers, as he sniffled.

I tried to speak up again, to apologize, but every time I opened my mouth, whimpers came out. And they weren't helping.

"...But I can't keep fighting for you, Rosalie," he eventually whispered. "If it was with a person, like another guy, then yeah, maybe. But I can't keep fighting the lies and the confusion and the voices in my head. The questioning I have, wondering what has been real and what has been fake..."

My heart began to clench tighter as I struggled to find my voice, "...I-I'm so sorry, Emmett."

He nodded, sucking in his bottom lip. He still wouldn't look at me. "I feel as if I've been woken up. When things are too..."

He sighed, pulling himself together again. But his voice continued to crack. "...too good, they fall apart. I should have known, should have saw it. I had you up on this pedestal, on this block. I admired you, I looked up to you. I wondered where you had been all my life... I knew you had flaws, like all women. I wasn't _stupid_... but regardless, through all those imperfections, I still thought you were perfect for _me_."

I nodded, wiping my tears from my face.

"But..." he said, finally looking up to meet my eyes.

A tear fell from our eyes at the exact same time, and it was heartbreaking to watch on him and feel from myself.

He took a deep breath, shaking his head as he looked at me. "But I thought... w-wrong, Rosalie."

"Can I-I make it up to you s-somehow?" I begged, walking over to him and clutching his jacket, "Prove to you that I'm the one for you? Prove to you that I-I deserve a second chance??"

He sniffled, "This wouldn't be a second chance, Rose. This would be, like, a third or fourth chance. They all add up. Don't you see that?"

"But I love you!" I said, pulling him to me as the tears came rushing out. "I do, and we can make it work! I'll do whatever it takes! I'll... I-I'll, um... I'll do whate-"

"It's not going to work, Rose."

I froze.

My heart stopped.

I looked at him, swollen eyes wide, trying to grasp his words. "W-What?"

He looked me directly in the eyes, and his pain shown through as clear as day. "Us. We're not going to work."

"But... I thought when you love someone that you try and b-"

"Loving you, I always will. But..." he shook his head, wiping his traitor tears away from his own face. "This relationship, the way we started, it's been all bad. Attraction and love can't build a relationship. _Trust _has to be there too, and..."

He swallowed, pulling my frozen fingers from his jacket, "...I don't trust you."

I felt my chest cave in as I watched through tear-filled eyes, him releasing my hand from his.

And then I was empty.

His voice was a faint whisper when he spoke up again. "I'm sorry for what I did to you, what we did to each other last night... with the whole sex thing. It was my fault, yes, but we were both in the wrong mind-frame, and I'm sorry about that. That's on me, that's my mistake. But... I can't do this anymore."

I nodded, still numb and not comprehending a single word. My throat was closed up, my chest was completely crushed, and my heart didn't exist anymore.

He started to walk in the house, but I grasped at the arm of his jacket, trying to talk through my tears, "I'm sorry. Please... don't leave me. Don't quit, don't ... d-d-don't give up on us, Emmett. P-Please."

He pulled me to his side, kissing the top of my head as he cried, "...I'm sorry baby. But I've got to go..."

I clutched at him, whimpering into his side, grasping for his touch.

But it wasn't there, and I couldn't find it.

That made it hurt worse.

He sniffled, pulling himself away. "Get inside before you freeze."

Then he walked away and didn't look back.

I stood there, arm stretched out, mouth open.

I felt like steel, planted in the snow.

What was the point in going inside and not freezing?

My sister found her Edward again. Jacob was better. Alice had Jasper.

And worst of it all... all that was important to me just quit being in my life.

Emmett walked away.

Because of my stupidity... I had nothing.

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 18! **

**-- So sad. I know. :( **

**  
****Question Poll for this chapter: ****  
1. How do you feel about Emmett's decision?  
2. Do you think Rosalie could have done/said something to change his mind?  
3. What do you think is in Bella's journal that's so personal that she won't let even Edward see?  
4. Where do you think Jasper is going to take Alice for their fancy date tomorrow?**

**Just wait though, we have so much MORE for these characters to go through and deal with. I'm so happy for the game plan, can't wait until we can get to more of it!!**

**

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**

**-- Top answers to last chapter's poll:** **  
**_1. Who had the funniest one-liner?_  
Jacob, tied with "Black is back" and "I just fucked a minor". *giggles*  
_2. Who had the most romantic one-liner?_  
Edward - "I've never made love to anyone before," he admitted in a whisper beneath my ear, before placing a tender kiss there. "...and I want to make love to you... Isabella, I want you to be my first."  
_3. Who had the most unexpected moment?_  
Rose/Emmett's whole scene.  
_3. What was the most shocking part of the chapter?  
_Jacob and the two girls in one night.  
_4. Most romantic description of a character's moment?  
_Most people gave me lines, couple choices, or full scene answers, but the winner by a few votes of the actual description was:  
My own lips were parted as I maintained a steady breath. My fingers found their way to his biceps, and I trailed circles around them, moaning lightly into his mouth. I loved it when he kissed me, because then there wasn't a part of me that wasn't filled with him. But then other times, when he'd just lay his opened lips on top of mine and breathe... that was beautiful too.  
_5. Who do you think will be the most changed when tomorrow comes around?  
_Most of you guys agreed that everyone was going to change. But Rosalie got the highest points. -- and since you've read tonight's chapter, I'd say you were right. :(  
_6. So you think Edward will end up telling Bella about James?_  
Most people think she'll find out from someone, but not Edward.  
_7. Who had the best sex__?  
_LOL! _Do I even have to answer? Okay, okay, for bragging purposes:_ EDWARD AND BELLA!!

**Reviews are better than Doctor Edward and his sexual healing! :D**


	19. Friendly Reunions

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit] for EVERYTHING!! You're seriously... the Edward to my Cullen! We're like peas and carrots! ;)

**A/N!! Over 2000 reviews!! Can you believe it? I know I can't!  
You guys are so amazing, and though I cannot respond to every single review and pm, please know that I read and enjoy them very much.  
Your opinions matter greatly to me!! You guys are the heart beat behind this story!!  
Special shout-out this chapter to Amber Energi -- *hugs* You're so sweet!!!! TY for all the kind pms!**

**-**

**Secondly, I am a member of the Livejournal mega-group "Lion & Lamb", and they held a little voting contest I wasn't aware of, asking fellow members which 'FanFic' story they'd like to be seen made into a movie, with Robert Pattinson as the lead of Edward, and guess what?! "The Ex Factor" won THIRD PLACE!!**

**It was behind "Wide Awake" and "Innocent, Vigilant, and Ordinary", which are two HUGE and widely spread stories.  
It amazed me to no end, because not only did I have no idea that this contest was even going on, but I really would never had been expected to be **_**nominated**_**, let alone voted in the top three! There's so many amazing Twilight fanfic stories spreading around, I'm talking THOUSANDS... and there are stories posted every single day on that community. And they're all good!  
And being compared to the amazing likes of "WA" and "IVO" just weirds me out because those stories are INCREDIBLE, and I look up to those authors.  
So, long story short, I just wanted to say how overwhelmed I am with all of you, my friends, the readers... Thank you for your support, your encouragement, your praise, and your votes!  
You guys always put a smile on my face and keep me motivated to do better. You're the best!**

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**Chapter Nineteen: Ahhh, a long and wintery January it has been for the characters.  
After Alice is forced to witness E/B's sexual endeavors in the middle of the night, and her boyfriend comes down ill,  
she decides that the best thing for the group to do is get out of the cabin and spend some time w/someone they haven't taken the chance to  
know yet. Therefore: Edward & Rose, Alice & Jake, and Bella & Emmett are paired off, while Jasper remains ill and in bed.  
What can happen? Hmm.**

**Oh... and something big happens in this chapter. So look out for it. Because you know what they say when you acknowledge a good thing...  
Pictures of Bella's stuff in the profile.**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**I know I should have cherished every second.  
I step back, step back, into another perspective.  
And in my mind, my mind, I know this belongs.  
It's a feeling you get, you're feeling so cold...  
When it all falls down, and you know there's no way that you can get out.  
When it all falls down, and you know there's no way that you can get out...**_

_**Adelita's Way, "All Falls Down"**_

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen: Friendly Reunions**

**BellaPOV **

_"Yesssss," I moaned, wiggling between the covers, "don't stop."_

_My body felt like it was on fire, burning with the intensity of a volcano. I arched my back, swallowing dry air, begging for some oxygen. "Too much," I moaned, playing with his disheveled copper hair. "It's, ungh, it's.... it's too much."_

_His mouth continued its delicious torture against my heat, sending spasms along my spine. "Edward!" I gasped, clawing my nails down the silky fabric around me, "oh my God!"_

_I was there! I was right there! I could feel it with every single fiber of my being, that sudden urgency to release and then shut down, overloaded with intensity._

_His tongue continued to torture my ache, giving almost enough to send me over, but never that full percent. He wanted to leave me hanging. Wanted to prolong my senses, like it was some kind of fun dance for him. Damn him._

_I pushed myself down against him, demanding more force from his lips, "Yes, yes, yes, don't stop! Right there, right THERE!"_

"Right there!" I shouted, flying up into a sitting position.

I blinked a few times, squinting around the darkened bedroom. The only light came visible from a crack beneath the bathroom door. The only sound came from the ceiling fan above me, whipping around on high.

After my eyes readjusted, I stole a glance at the alarm clock on my left. It was 3:18am.

And I didn't get to finish my dream... _Well, finish _period_._

I sighed, turning to my left.

Edward was sound asleep, curled on his side with his right arm halfway hanging off of my lap. His hair was beautiful, bronzed and almost shiny in the moonlight coming from the large window in the distance. He wasn't wearing a shirt and the sheets were hung low, giving me a perfect view of his tan body, rippled abs, firm pecks, treasure trail... that delicious 'v' leading to territories beneath the black silk sheets. His lashes fluttered gently against his skin, and his lips were parted only slightly... he was gorgeous even when he was asleep.

I bit my lip, lifting my right hand to caress his arm. He didn't flinch at all.

But I was frustrated at this moment, and _needed _him to wake up. "Edward," I whispered, climbing to my knees beside him and running my hands along his five o'clock shadow. "Edward, are you awake?"

No response.

Tilting my head back in defeat, I pushed him over to where he was now on his back. His left knee was bent, while his right leg was fully extended. He looked so peaceful, I almost felt ashamed for wanting to wake him up just so he could fulfill my needs in the middle of the night.

_I mean, wasn't it bad enough that I had it earlier today? Shouldn't I be grateful for finally being able to have this type of connection freely with him? _No. No I wasn't. Because I am a stubborn, sexually frustrated female. And showerheads and fantasies and vibrating freakin' _anythings _wouldn't cure this right now. Only him.

I pulled off his grey wifebeater from my tortured breasts and slid out of my shorts, thankful to myself that I didn't wear any panties or bras to bed, ever. _I knew it'd be worth it one day._

Holding my breath and praying for the best, I straddled the sexy bronzed-haired god, running my hands along his pecks. I took my time for a second, really feeling each scalped inch of his skin. He smelled so delicious, like soap and freshness... I wanted him so bad, it was _ridiculous_.

Edward, however, seemed to be dead to the world.

Chewing on my thumbnail for a second, I decided I needed to be bolder. So I slid my left hand beneath me, rubbing him over his boxers. He was reacting slowly but surely, but still seemed to be unaware of anything other than what he was seeing in his dreams. "Edward," I whispered more vigorously.

No response. None. At all. _Dammit_!

I scooted down his legs, pulling the sheet back. I could barely see him because of the dark room, plus dark bedding doesn't really help, but I knew his body was becoming the rock that I so desperately desired. I tugged down his boxers from his hips, to where it got to the bend in his left knee. Keeping my eyes on his face and preparing myself to get kicked when he wakes up, I slowly moved his leg to straighten it out, and then pulled them the rest of the way off. I needed him to wake up immediately, but wasn't sure exactly how to do it without causing hysteria and him to panic, thinking he was being attacked or robbed.

So I decided to hold off on my ache for a second, taking him in my hands. I stared at the barely visible -- because of the dark-- but hard length between my hands, licking my lips in anticipation. I remember doing this type of thing with him back in High School; he was the first boy to teach me how. And I loved it. After we broke up, I never really wanted to do it with anyone else. Never had that urge... Then when we got here and went out on that 'date' and I got drunk and offered to give him road head, I pretty much realized that I only loved to do it to him. _He _was delicious and I loved every single centimeter of him. But _only _him.

Taking my time, I slowly began to swirl my tongue around the head, licking over the tip delicately. I hummed along his skin, flicking my tongue a few more times, before taking him in a few inches. I watched as Edward moved a little, his head flopping to his left. _That man was still asleep!_

I popped him out of my agape mouth, in shock. _Shouldn't he just wake up and realize that I am all hot and bothered and craving him more than a pregnant woman craves pickles?!?! _

Climbing back to my knees in a straddle position, I put my hands on my hips. "Edward," I whispered more huskily. "Edward, please wake up, I need you."

Nothing. Still nada.

I tried kissing along his lips, his jaw, his cheeks, his neck, his ears... Tried humming to him. Licking him. Kissing him. Caressing him.

Not one fucking twitch. But he was still hard. _And there really wasn't a point of letting it go to waste... right?_

I was good to go, there was no foreplay needed on my end. So... I did the unthinkable. Holding myself up, I grabbed his form, placing it at my entrance. Then I slowly sat down above him. Within an instant, my breath was stolen. Edward filled me completely, leaving no space for breathing time, and my body was pulsing around him, thankful it finally got something to soothe its longing.

I watched Edward's face for a moment, trying to keep my moans at a quiet mute. But when I could no longer take the suspense, I began to rock on him, slowly. His lashes fluttered open for a moment as he turned his head back to the ceiling, but he didn't wake up.

But I knew he must be feeling this, feeling me... So I leaned forward, wrapping my fingers around his shoulders. That angle did more wonders, as my back was now on an arch, and a few unlady-like curse words flew out of mouth without my consent. But he felt so good, so un-_fucking_-believable, I really couldn't help myself! My hands dropped to his chest as I picked up my pace, "Ohhhh... unnn...."

I closed my eyes, as my body grew hotter and wetter -- responding to him in a way that forced more foul language to come from my lips. I threw my head back, thankful that the fan above me was able to create sweet stints of cold air along my chest and neck. I could feel my hair sticking to me, and it amazed me how hot my body turned whenever he was around me.

Moaning again, I rolled my head back around and opened my eyes, to find Edward, arms tucked behind his head, grinning that _fucking _sexy ass smirk, and eyes wide _fucking _awake.

I stopped moving. My mouth was dropped and I felt... guilty.

"Hey there," he whispered, voice cracked and shy, as his smile grew larger.

I felt a heat wave crash over me, my face turn into a red tomato, and I knew I should move off of him. "I-I'm sorry," I stammered, shaking my head, "I know it's wrong but I had this dream and I just needed you and you wouldn't wake up and I was aching and longing and I just... uh..."

I attempted to move, but his palms clapped my thighs, holding me down above him.

"Stay right fucking there," he demanded, as his grin grew more devilish.

Stunned, I watched him sit up, to where we were now bare chest to bare chest, and felt his hands wind around to cup my ass. Tightly.

Then I began to move again. And he felt perfect inside of me.

"This..." he whispered along my collar bone, before looking me dead in the eyes, "is fucking _hot_."

Then he smirked, licking those sexy ass lips, "Why, _Isabella_, I didn't know you had it in you."

"Umm," I mumbled, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against his, "it's definitely _in me_ right now... _Ungh_," I moaned as he began to caress my skin, unable to stop it. _He just felt too good._

His hands, fisting my behind one more time, ran along my spine and wrapped around the back of my shoulders, "...best wake-up call... _ever_..."

I bit my lip, continuing my rise and fall. My lashes fluttered closed as he slid in and out of me, and then he pushed me down on him, harder. And filled me all the way again.

Gasping, I clawed at his shoulders. "Oh dear God," I cried, licking along his neck, "do it again."

He smirked, hands finding ass again. I held onto his shoulders, feeling him lift me in the air along his length, and then push me back down on him. A louder moan escaped my lips, and I buried my face into the heated crook of his neck. "_More_."

"You want more?" he asked, his voice low and husky.

"Mmm-hmm," I said, before biting along his neck. "Please."

"Okay," he said. But he moved me off of him. Completely.

And he could see it by the look on my face that I was not happy about him doing that, even in the dark.

I was about to curse at him and demand him to put me back on my happy place, but he grinned, running his fingers down my face slowly, "I'm going to reposition us."

"Oh," I replied, feeling foolish again. _Do you see what this man does to me?! It's unfair._

A few seconds and instructions later, I was now facing the headboard, hands grabbing it, while he was behind me. Doggy-style. His right hand began to roam along my spine, up along my neck, while his left hand repositioned himself against me. He felt so good, pressed up against my back. We'd never been in this position before -- hell, I'd never been in this position _ever _-- but I _really _liked it.

He pushed inside me gently, and my head fell forward, and onto the top of the headboard with a _clunk_. More noises came from my mouth.

His hot lips kissed my neck, while his right hand wrapped around me, and rubbed my forehead, "Are you all right?"

"Yes," I panted, ignoring the pounding in my head. The pulsing ache in my nether regions was much stronger. "Don't stop."

He slowly withdrew and pushed into me, harder. My body lunged forward but he caught me, wrapping his right arm around my waist in a protective manner, "Are you hurting?"

"No, _harder_. You're not hurting me."

"Are you sure?" he said, keeping his slow pace while his hand massaged my side.

"Edward Anthony Cullen," I breathed, exasperated, "if I say I'm sure, I'm sure. I want you -- all of you -- now. Faster, harder, over and over. _Please_?"

"Christ, Bella," he said, as he picked up his pace. "You know I can't... _shit_... fucking... deny you of anything." He threw his head against my bare back, as his left hand hit the wall in front of us, and his right hand held me up against him.

I clawed at the headboard, dropping my head, feeling him slide in and out, deeper into my heated depths. He was hitting a spot I didn't believe existed, and I couldn't help but let out a loud "FUCK!" regardless of if I knew I was waking up someone in this house.

Wanting all of him that I could get, I twisted my body a bit, so I could throw my right hand behind his neck. Drawing his face to me, I licked along his lips, begging for access. He complied quickly. He felt so amazing, moving in and out of me so swiftly, as he was built only for me. His tongue was warm and sweet, trailing along mine in gentle swirls and sweeps. We were both panting and moaning, rocking against one another, creating a heated friction that could light a damn fire if we were out of matches, and our kissing was wet and delicious.

"Mmm," I moaned, pulling my mouth from his to drop my head back down. I struggled to catch my breath, and could hear him battling as well. I leaned the top of my head against the headboard, dropping my hands to the mattress. When that didn't hold me up, because I was shaking through pre-tremors, I dropped to my elbows, burying my face into the pillow for a second to muffle my, "FUCK EDWARD!" I kept shouting on repeat.

However, this angle, with me on my knees and elbows and him on his knees behind and above me, made it that much more... intense, for the both of us.

"Ungh, Bella," he gasped, increasing and decreasing his pace, fighting against his will and his senses. I knew Edward always tries to be gentle with me, careful and protective, but now was _not _the fucking time.

_I wanted him to overtake me._

"Turn me around," I said, forcing my arms to work so I could pull myself up.

"Huh?" he panted behind me, "what?"

"Turn me around," I repeated. I giggled as he cursed, withdrew himself, and twisted me around.

He pulled me down on the mattress, grinning at me as he held himself above my body, "Now what, Angel?"

"I want to see your face when you do me."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Where did you _come _from?"

"From Heaven," I teased. Then I tried to be serious, though it didn't work very well. "Now do as I asked, Mister."

"Let me just look at you for a second," he said, trailing his eyes from my legs to my hair, "_God_, you're mesmerizing. So sexy. My God, _look _at you."

"Get _down _here," I whined, clawing at him. "I'm not finished using you for your body yet."

He snickered, bringing himself lower on top of me. Then, he met my eyes, gave another devilish grin, and started to slide down my body.

"W-What are you doing?" I asked, clawing at his shoulders.

"You said to get down here," he joked, kissing along my inner thigh.

But it'd be too much. Tooooo much. "Edward," I said, tugging on his hair. I tried to protest. I really did. But then I watched him lick me in one long swoop, and I was pretty much... a goner. "Okay," I exhaled, smiling up to the ceiling, "if you must."

"I must," he replied in that velvety-voice, before kissing me again. Between his hot breath, his soft tongue, and those wide sexy strokes he spread along me, before entering me and pulling my bud between his lips... I was _really _gone. So far in the air, never coming back again. _Bye, bye, Bella._

Even a deaf man would be able to hear my cries, between shudders and gasps, as I clawed, arched, squirmed, pushed, pulled, panted, begged, cursed, and writhed against him. And the expletives that were coming from my sweet and innocent lips were pretty much something like: "Fuck, oh shit, oh damn, oh Christ, ungh, don't stop, ahhhh, shit! FUCK!"

And, like my dream, I was there again. Right _there_.

"Don't stop!" I panted, arching my back and tugging on his hair. _I loved that hair, I really did._

But like my dream, he also...stopped. _Damn him all to Hell!_

"Edward," I moaned, dropping into the mattress, chest rising heavily, "you're _killing _me. Please just... _do _me."

He grabbed my waist and rolled us over, me back on top of him, him on his back. "Knock yourself out. Use me. Do as you will, I'll let you. I want to watch you and enjoy."

And I did, no questions asked. I couldn't handle it anymore. I _needed _it. So, I began bouncing and swiveling and rocking, holding onto him, clawing at him... biting his neck, sucking on his skin and his delicious lips. It was as if my dream turned me into some sort of animalistic horny... uncontrollable must-have-it-this-way... thing.

"Mmm," he gasped, his hands on my ass again. _I knew he couldn't let me do all the work._ He began to help me, pushing and pulling me up and down on him, hitting more delicious spots.

I threw my head back, rocking and moaning his name on repeat. His hands found my breasts, caressing and kneading them, before pushing up and wrapping around my neck. He pulled me down to him, fisting my hair, and our mouths touched and we began to share a bubble of oxygen again... from his mouth, to mine, to his mouth, to mine. I licked my lips, before sliding my tongue into the warm delicious opening of his amazing mouth. His hands found my waist and moved me again, while I worked to find every corner of him. He was so incredible, and I could literally feel him all around me.

When he began to suck on my tongue, I moaned in his mouth, tugging on his hair. And the angle his hands had me in made me so close, all over again. I was that live wire, ready to shock the hell out of something. Our lips were open and touching again, sharing that same oxygen once more.

"Edward..."

"_Bella_."

"Ungh, E_dddd_ward."

"Fuck, Bella."

He was pulling me with the same fast intensity as I was pushing down, and we began to pant and moan, craving more of each other's mouths and me tugging on his hair. Then, as quickly as one could move, I noticed I was now on my back, at the end of the bed, with him above me. But I was so close and could feel from him inside of me that he was too. Both of us were begging for it.

So I did what any sweet, innocent in public, but not so innocent in the bedroom when it comes to Edward Cullen would do... I put my legs on his shoulders.

"Jesus fucking Christ," he gasped, throwing his face into my neck.

I could feel him biting down on me, loving the new angle I gave him. Because he hit every single spot imaginable. I bit on his shoulder, dragging my nails along his back, causing him to shudder. He wasn't speaking words at that moment, just cursing and panting, and it just drove me further. I loved being able to feel this free with him. I knew it was because I trusted him, because I was in love with him. On top of all that, he was sexy as hell and a sex GOD.

His hands found my hips, and somehow, he managed to lift me up an inch or two from the bed, and that put us in the BEST. ANGLE. EVER. About twenty seconds later, I was done. "EDWARD!" Moaning and gasping, shuddering and clawing and clamping around him. Every single spot of me just went off like a bottle rocket, bursting from the inside out. After one ecstasy minute, he was right there with me, reaping in the last of my high orgasm. My body was still clenching, milking him for all he was worth. I could feel him inside of me, filling me to the brim. His face was in my neck again, his body dropped on top of me, and him moaning my name... _Jesus Christ. _I loved my name whenever it came from those lips.

I began to lift and work my hips, mustering up the courage and strength to make sure his world was rocked well. _After all, he did wake up for me._

"Ungh," he said loudly, shuddering a few more times before falling completely on me. I listened to his breathing and felt his heart pounding through his chest and onto mine while he lay limply above me. I ran my fingers through his damp hair and along his shoulders, whispering, "Thank you for waking up for me," to him sweetly in his ear.

After a few more minutes, he rolled to his side, bringing me with him to my side. "Don't thank me," he replied. "You don't have to thank me. It was worth it, oh my God. Best wake up call ever, I swear it. You are more than welcome to take advantage of me like that any time you wish."

I giggled, kissing his bottom lip, "When did you wake up?"

"I don't know... I was having a sex dream about you and then I woke up and it was actually happening... Wow."

I snickered again, grazing my fingers through his hair, "I love you so much."

He hummed in response, closing his eyes.

Just then, a loud bang from the bathroom door snapped us out of our loving lusty haze, and he quickly threw the black sheets over us.

Then the door cracked open a little but not enough for anyone to see us.

"Are you guys _done _yet?" Alice said, her voice scratchy and tired. "Because _some _of us would like to get some _sleep_."

"S-Sorry Alice," Edward said, before busting out laughing as the door closed hastily.

He buried his face into my shoulder, hugging me while we laughed. "I forgot Alice and Jasper moved into that bedroom," he chuckled. "Did you?"

"Yes," I giggled. "But oh well. It was their hazing."

He kissed me once more, and then we dropped our heads, wrapped up in each other. We didn't even bother moving back around to face the right side of the bed.

"Best... hazing... ever," he said, as he drifted off to a quick and exhausted sleep.

I was right behind him, fully satisfied.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

After checking on my boyfriend for the fifteenth time, I had to accept the fact that his fever wasn't going to demolish immediately.

Jasper told me to go ahead, that he'd be fine. He felt bad for having to reschedule our date today, but said he promised he'd make it up to me the moment he felt better. Of course, I didn't care about that. I just didn't want to see him sick. I felt bad knowing that I couldn't make him feel better. It made me sad.

Around noon though, I caved in, dressing in skinny jeans and a cute, oversized yellow shirt. Then I went downstairs to rejoin the living. The cabin was much quieter, now that everyone but the original group -- without Tanya, thank God -- was gone.

The first person I saw was Emmett, outside on the patio smoking a cigarette, looking like he hadn't gotten much sleep last night. _Neither did I, Em. Thanks to Bella and Edward._ He wore light blue jeans and a jersey. His eyes were bloodshot, and he seemed pretty dazed. The next person was Rosalie. She was curled up on the recliner in the den in her pajamas, and she too looked like she hadn't slept or eaten. Hmm...

Then it was Jacob, talking on his cell phone, pacing around the hallway. He was wearing his usual black jeans, black t-shirt, black shoes. He was yelling at someone, most likely in the stock market, and he seemed pretty intense on his argument.

Finally, I found the two lovebirds. Edward was sitting on the couch, with Bella sideways on his lap. He wore dark blue jeans and a black t-shirt, with a grey, long-sleeved v-neck shirt over it. Bella was equally adorable, with the same color of dark blue jeans, and a white loose t-shirt, which hugged around her waist, and had little designs flowing around the neck. Her hair was down and wavy, while his was spiked, copper tinted, and disarrayed.

She had her head resting on his shoulder, while she read the newspaper with him. She kept closing her eyes, appearing to snuggle in his warmth and absorb his scent. They were too freakin' adorable for their own good, but the fact that they kept me up last night, along with my ill-in-bed boyfriend... _Grr_...

Besides the two of them, the rest of the room was kind of depressing. I hated it.

We only had a few days left here at the cabin, and we all needed to just get out. Not to mention the fact that the televisions were all on, though no one was really watching them, and I'm sure it was too loud and Jasper could hear it. Meaning he wasn't getting his rest. Meaning I needed to do something about it.

After Emmett came in from the freezing cold and Jake hung up his cell phone, I decided to take charge.

"Okay!" I shouted, slapping my hands together, ignoring the fact that everyone looked up at me like I was on crack. "I've got an idea you guys."

"We're not interested," Emmett said glumly, stalking past me.

"Well get over it, because you're all going to participate," I declared. "Okay. Now. I've noticed that, one: There's been too much sulking today. Two: Some people are too lovey-dovey, and that'd equally depressing -- unless it's me and Jasper doing it. And three: we only have a few days left. So, since Jasper is sick and weakly, we're all going to get out of this cabin. But we're doing something different. I think we should spend some time with someone that we normally wouldn't, and really just... get to know more about them. So Jacob, you and I are going to spend the day together. And Rosalie, you are with Edward. And Emmett, you've got Bella. Let's go!"

Of course, they all began to deny and argue with me, which didn't bother me. I stood my mark, crossing my arms. They should know by now that there wasn't a sense in arguing with me, because I wasn't going to give up until I got my way.

An hour later, Rosalie came storming down the stairs, wearing a long white tank top with a short jean jacket over it, light jeans, and heels. She glared at me from across the room, and then trailed her eyes over to Edward.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, keeping his arms around Bella, and his chin on her shoulder while she stood in front of him, "I didn't choose this."

"This is stupid," she hissed at him, and then at me. "Why can't Edward and Bella just go somewhere, I stay here, and the three of you can do whatever?"

"Because," I said simply. I noticed from the corner of my eye that Bella was sulky, pressing her back completely up against Edward's chest. She looked to the ground, appearing as if someone ran over her dog or told her the tooth fairy wasn't real.

"For cheese and rice Bella," I giggled, "it's not like you won't ever see the man again."

"It's not funny," she replied, at the same time Edward said, "watch it, Alice."

"What?" I smirked. "It's the truth. You guys act like I'm pulling her away and strapping a chastity belt to her va-jay-jay."

"Alice," Edward warned again, giving me his evil eye.

I shrugged it off, shaking my head at him with my big grin. I wasn't sure exactly when Edward and Bella morphed into the _can't be _separated_ or we're gonna die _couple, but they were _really _putting up a fight with me.

Jake didn't seem to mind too much that he was getting stuck with me, which both surprised and excited me. I looked forward to discovering a good side of him. Emmett just seemed to distance himself, staring off out the window. And the fact that he and Rose avoided each other like the plague only confirmed to me what Bryan told me this morning before her and Charlie took off; that Rose and Emmett called it quits.

"Come _on _you guys," I shouted, trying to stay enthusiastic, "the sooner we get moving, the sooner we can come back. Besides, Jasper is sick, and we need to leave him alone so he can rest in peace and quiet."

"Jasper's sick?" Bella asked, looking concerned.

I frowned and nodded, "Since about six this morning, unfortunately."

"I'm sorry Alice," she said.

"'S'okay. He'll make it. It just sucks that I can't fix him."

"Yeah..." she whispered, but then her frown turned into a blushing smile as Edward turned his head and kissed her cheek slowly. She giggled, squeezing his arms that were wrapped around her tightly. They looked like they were on a honeymoon or something. ...Weird. _Must be all the sex they had last night._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After about fifteen more minutes or so, we were out the door -- Rosalie and Edward in his Porsche Carerra, me and Jake in Jasper's truck, and Emmett and Bella in his jeep.

Jake turned and grinned at me, scratching that sexy black hair of his, "So, why did you pick me?"

I smiled at him, turning down the radio, "Because I wanted to see what it was my cousin Bryan liked in you so much, and Bella and Rosalie..."

"Oh, well, that's easy," he beamed his smile, "... I'm charming."

I snickered, pulling on the interstate, "Is that it?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure it is."

"What about egotistical?"

He grinned at me, "No more, and no less than anyone else, I suppose."

Once we got into town, I asked him where he wanted to go. He suggested lunch. So we pulled into my favorite little cafe, _Best Italian_.

It was pretty cold outside, and my little jacket and gloves weren't doing much. Jacob seemed to notice, because he quickly shrugged out of his leather jacket and threw it over my shoulders, "Here you go."

"Thanks," I said, giving him a big grin as he opened the door for me, "that's sweet of you. I hope you don't freeze though."

"No worries Alice, I'm very warm-blooded. I don't get cold easily."

"Well, I appreciate the gesture."

"No problem," he replied coolly.

After we ordered our food, Jake complimented me on my outfit choice, "Yellow is a good color for you."

"Thank you," I replied, blushing. "Edward always calls me 'his sunshine', and people started picking up on it so now it's my official nickname."

He smirked, taking a sip of his water, "I like it."

"So... Jake," I said after a few moments of comfortable silence, "tell me something you'd only tell a stranger."

"Wow," he chuckled, "okay... I am obsessed with health foods, but my secret snack is Cheetos."

"Cheetos?"

"Yes. I love them."

I giggled, "I like Cheetos too."

"All right, your turn."

"Uh..." I licked my lips, "I have a huge crush on Patrick Swayze. Ever since seeing him in _Fatherhood _a long time ago, I was hooked. He's my OHM fantasy."

"OHM?"

"Older hot man."

"Ahh," he chuckled.

I stared at him for a few moments, watching his grin turn into a warm and inviting smile. I remembered how Bella always talked about his smile, how it comforted her. He really _did _have some beautiful teeth... In fact, Jake was pretty handsome, I figured. Wow. Short, black hair that was currently spiky but could go curly if he grew it out... Full set of lips... Dark eyebrows, long lashes...Strong jaw line... Muscles, broad shoulders, tight abs... And a sexy, rusty voice...

Not to mention the way he had his chin tucked down a bit, looking at me through his lashes.

He sat his drink down, giving me a tender smirk, "What are you staring at?"

"Your dimples," I answered, resting my chin in my hand. "I like them."

He looked away, not breaking that smile of his, "Well, thanks. I think I got them from my mother."

"They're beautiful."

He glanced up at me, furrowing his brows, "Are you... are you hitting on me, Alice?"

"No," I blushed, not sure why exactly. "I just... I'm starting to see why you have an effect on women. You _are _quite charming, I must say."

"Well," he exhaled, pinching a bit off of his garlic biscuit and sticking the piece in his mouth. He chewed quickly before continuing, "I used to be sweeter, and I still am when I care about someone... but then certain days, I just wake up and I'm angry or pissed about something, and then the arrogance comes out, and I can be a dick for no reason at all other than to just do it."

"You and Edward have that in common," I agreed.

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically.

"So... you and Bryan going to try again?"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "I don't know."

"Do you miss her?"

"I'm not sure," he replied earnestly. "It's hard to explain. I don't want to say anything, she's your family."

"No, no, it's fine. Bryan's my cousin, but she's also... Bryan."

Jacob chuckled, "Well, I was very attracted to her, and I enjoyed her company. She was very sweet, and the sex was amazing, which is great because it's a deal breaker. And I adored her, for the most part. But now that she's gone, I sort of realize that maybe it was more about an infatuation than anything more. I realize that I didn't know much about her. Besides..."

His voice trailed off as he looked down to the table, brushing some crumbs away. He took a deep breath, not bothering to finish his statement.

This confused me. I took a long sip of my wine, tilting my head to look at him, "...Besides?"

"There's... uh..." he shook his head, smiling and brooding at the same time, "I think she was more of a distraction for me."

"Distraction?" I asked.

"Yeah. It's a long story."

"Did you... have a girlfriend back home or something?"

"Nah, I work too much to have a girlfriend."

"Stockbroker, right?"

"Gosh," he laughed, "you sure have no problems prying in people's lives."

"What? I'm curious!"

"Yeah, I'm in stocks."

"That's good money, Jake. But you have to be smart. It's a risky business."

"I love being risky. It drives me. I like a challenge."

"Is that why you're here, though Bella has an-" I cut myself off, pinching my lips together. It was wrong for me to bring it up.

"Bella has a what?" he replied, seeming unphased by my assumption.

I sighed, "An Edward?"

He exhaled, leaning back in his seat, "I'm not into Bella. I haven't been since I was a kid. We're just friends."

"So you're not secretly in love with her behind her back? Not trying to steal her away from Edward?"

He laughed out loud, shaking his head, "Not at all. It's no offense; I mean I _care _for her very much. But my interest hasn't been in Bella for a long time now. I just like to egg Edward on sometimes because it's fun. But that's it."

"Well," I sighed, "you do it well."

"I know," he laughed.

After my New Orleans Muffaletta Club Melt and his House Special Salad and Philly Steak sans cheese Sandwich came, we chewed in silence for a few moments.

He poured me another glass of wine, giving me another of his charming smiles. I smiled back to him, "What do you like in a girl, Jake? I mean, describe to me your dream girl."

Jacob swallowed down a few bites of salad, shrugging as he pushed the lettuce around his bowl, "I'm attracted to blondes, naturally. But no real preference in color of their skin. Beautiful smiles are a must though, like yours, Alice. I like a woman that puts me in my place sometimes, one who won't put up with too much of my bullshit. But I've got to have someone who can keep up with me and my lifestyle. I'm very much a work-a-holic, very committed to my goals, very fast-paced. I need a woman who's gonna push me further, not drag me down."

"Is that what you saw in Tanya? Blonde hair? Because I cannot _stand _her."

He scoffed, and then chuckled into his wine glass, "No. I saw Tanya as a piece, no more. She was... a transition."

"Transition?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. I needed someone to get my mind off of someone else, and she was that person."

"Have you... uh..." I looked away from his big eyes, not sure how to ask without seeming like a jerk, "had sex with a lot of women?"

"Yes."

I looked up at him, surprised at his blunt honestly.

He chuckled, "What, was I supposed to hesitate at that question?"

I giggled, shrugging my shoulders, "I'm... not sure."

"I've been with women; I'm not ashamed of it. I'm safe, but I still get tested regularly. I'm confident, and I'm only twenty-oneyears old. I'm younger than all of you even. But I'm also intelligent and have standards -- most times -- and I just... like women."

"But don't you want to be serious with someone sometime? I mean, everyone wants _someone_, right?"

He suddenly looked down, pursing his lips in thought, "...Yeah, but... sometimes we don't get that."

After taking another bite, I curled out my bottom lip, "Aww, did someone hurt you?"

He scoffed again, and then took a deep breath, "It's nothing. I'm getting full, are you?"

"Almost," I smiled.

Then I grabbed my phone out of my purse, and decided to check on Jasper. I really missed him.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I pressed my head against the window of Edward's car, staring up at the rainy clouds in the sky. My chest was hurting, but there wasn't a sense in crying and looking like a clown after my make-up smeared, so I tried not to think about Emmett or our break up.

"So," Edward exhaled, lighting a cigarette at the red light in town, "what would you like to do?"

I shrugged, not removing my eyes from the windshield, "It doesn't matter. Whatever you want."

"Well... I have no plans really. I'd, uh, like to maybe get a gift for Bella, but that's it."

I turned to face him, trying to maintain my sulking to a minimal amount, "Do you just want to go to the mall?"

He looked at me, slightly confused, then gave me a slight smile and nodded, "Sure, that sounds reasonable."

I nodded and turned away.

It was weird, being in a car with him, alone. It was weird that we were here and not ripping each other's ears off.

But after my stunt I did, lying about having sex with him, and all the other crap before... not to mention my broken heart... I just really wasn't in the mood to fight with Edward.

Besides, it's not like my fighting with him would break up him and my sister, regardless of how I felt or didn't feel about their relationship. They were pretty concrete, apparently. He told her he loved her before he closed the door for her to Emmett's jeep, and she's called him once already, just to tell him she loves him back.

The car ride was silent until we got to the mall. After Edward parked his fancy car, we kept about a foot between us as we walked inside. It was filled to the brim with shoppers, shocking that it was noon during a week day. This looked like a crowd that only came out during Black Friday.

I couldn't shake my frown as we slowly breezed by clothing stores and windows full of dressed statues. Edward stopped by Zales, and I slowly followed him, crossing my arms over my aching chest.

He had a contemplative expression, browsing down the lighted windows smoothly.

"What are you looking for?" I asked him, in an almost whisper.

He shrugged and pursed his lips, "Something exquisite."

"Like... a sweetheart ring or something?"

"Or something," he simply replied.

I caught a scent of his 'Man' by Calvin Klein cologne, and it filled my senses completely, making me take a deep breath of it. He smelled as delicious as he looked today -- not that I'd ever admit that to him out loud.

"So," I said casually, trying to keep a conversation going so I wouldn't have to think about he-who-wouldn't-be-named, "what's going on with you and my sister lately?"

"Going on?" he asked, turning to face the set behind him.

"Yeah... like, what are you guys now? Are you together?"

He nodded silently, tilting his head at something.

"May I help you sir?" the gentleman in the tux behind the counter asked.

"Yes sir," Edward replied. "I'm looking for something... elegant. Simple but refining, perhaps? Turquoise."

"Certainly, sir. Right this way."

I followed them around the row of counters, to a different section. "Edward?" I pressed, stepping closer to him.

"I love her, Rose. That's what I'll say."

"Love her enough to be buying jewelry," I replied.

"Yes," he smirked, before turning his head back to the case.

I waited a few moments, before asking him my next question, "Edward... I heard a rumor a long time ago that you bought Bella an engagement ring back in high school. Was that true?"

"Yes," he sighed, studying something in the case.

"What happened with it? Because I know you never asked her."

"My... uh... mother has it in her safe back home, I believe."

"So your mom knew that you were going to ask your girlfriend to marry you when you were in High School?"

He glanced at me momentarily, before turning away again, "...I didn't ask Bella, did I."

"Esme was against it?"

Edward exhaled, "Do you _remember _my mother?"

"Yes," I frowned. "But you were a mama's boy, so... Anyways, do you, you know, regret not asking her?"

He shook his head, "Not really."

"Really?" I asked, unable to hide my surprised tone, "hmm."

"It's just... we were young, Bella and I. I sort of think that if I _had _asked her, who knows what would have happened? Maybe we wouldn't have worked out."

"You guys _didn't _work out," I corrected him.

"That's my point. We didn't work out because we were too green, too young. She made mistakes, as did I. Plus, there was an extreme amount of pressure with college, family, and whatnot. The odds were against us."

I agreed in silence, nodding as I studied the rings in the lighted case.

"Plus..." he smiled to himself warmly, and then turned to me with his diamond green eyes, "...that's what makes our reunion so special. Realizing what we lost was only half the battle... Gaining it all back, and then some... that's the payoff."

I took a deep breath, studying his genuine expression. And there wasn't a crack in it. Taking a deep breath, I decided to cave in and resound my harshness toward him, "Just don't hurt her again, Edward. She's my sister and I'll rip your dick off if you do."

He laughed, "You have nothing to worry about, Rosalie."

Shopping with Edward was interesting. He really did know what he was talking about. We perused through diamonds and sapphires, rubies and emeralds... gold and silver... but he kept his focus.

"Why are you looking for something turquoise?" I asked.

"Well," he took a deep breath, "Bella wore this bracelet that was turquoise, back when we were in school. I matched it with an opal ring that was my Grandmother's. She lost them in the move from Charlie's to your father's, and I remember her being really upset about it... Absolutely heartbroken. So... I wanted to get her another one of each. _Real _ones."

"That's... really sweet of you to do, Edward."

He smiled graciously at me, "Thanks, Rose."

Thirty minutes later, he found what he was looking for. When the dazzled young cashier went to ring him up, he wasn't paying a lick of attention to the fact that she was pretty and gawking at him, or the price of his purchases.

"Edward, did you even see how much those were?" I asked in shock as we walked out of the store, bags in his hand.

"No," he said, wheeling us around a mother and her three kids. "It doesn't matter."

"What do you mean, it doesn't matter? Are you forgetting that the bracelet Bella had in High School wasn't real? Because what you purchased _was_! That was a friggin down payment of a house or car or something that you spent in there!"

He looked at me, dumbfounded for a moment.

Then he smiled, shrugging his shoulders, "When you search for something for a woman who has an immense value to you, the price of the object in favor doesn't matter."

I sighed, shaking my head, "I wish you'd write a book and teach all the men in this world about romance. The world would be a much happier place."

He laughed out loud, tossing his head back, "You're cute."

"I'm serious! It's irritating how clueless most men are. You truly should write a book."

As we walked into the Victoria's Secret, Edward following me this time, he said, "Well... I think it's all about the woman."

I turned to him, almost knocking over a rack of silky bras, "How do you mean?"

"I mean... once a man finds that one person that flips his world entirely upside down, he'll do whatever it takes to keep her happy, that way it'll never flip _back _around. He'll realize that every thing he's ever done before her, or after he lost it, perhaps, was worthless. He'll realize that nothing mattered without her, because _he _wasn't _himself _without her... And when that moment happens, it'll click with him. And he'll do whatever it takes."

I put my hands on my hips, ignoring the cashier woman carrying the tiny baskets if I needed any help, "You are pussy-whipped by my sister, Edward."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Oh, be jealous."

"I'm serious," I replied hastily.

"So am I," he laughed. "And, honestly, I can't say I blame you, or anyone else that's jealous."

"Why's that?"

"Because... no one else gets her but me."

"But you _don't _have her yet," I corrected him. "Remember? When I asked you what you two officially were, back in the store and you didn't answer? You have no labels on each other yet."

He grinned sideways, ignoring the three female customers behind him that were whispering and staring at him like cats in heat, "...I'm working on it."

"She's a free spirit, Edward. She'll get sick of it eventually, if you don't move fast enough."

"Why don't you worry about your own relationship, and let me work on mine," he answered cockily.

"I would," I muttered, suddenly interested in the 50-in-1 bra, "if I _had _a relationship to worry about."

He nodded in silence, thinking to himself for a few moments. Then he said, "...So it's true, that you two broke up?"

"Word does spread fast," I exhaled. "He couldn't handle me and Jacob."

"Jake sure does know how to get in the way of things," Edward sighed, I'm sure to reminisce about Jake and Bella and his past.

"Yeah, yeah," I replied, brushing him away with my hands. Edward dropped it, not wanting to pry in my relationship.

"So..." he said, after I purchased some new panties and we were off and walking again, "where next?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "wherever."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I laughed faintly, the first time since my heart broke, "Bella, how in the fuck are you holding that golf club?"

"Is... Is this wrong?" she asked, biting the corner of her lip and looking up at me through her long lashes.

"Yes, dipshit, that's wrong," I said, walking over to her.

We decided that, since we knew each other better than Edward & Rose or Jake & Alice, that we were just gonna hang out, doing something one liked first, than what the other person liked.

My pick was first, so I took her to _Dick's Sporting Goods _store. They have this insane golf simulator, where you hit real balls into this large screen, and it shows how far you've hit. It's like a video game.

I fucking loved it.

I stood behind her, wrapping my arms around her petite frame and covering her hands with mine, "Grip the handle like you do a hard dick, Bella."

I watched as a pink blush faded over her cheeks, and laughed, continuing my lecture, "Use both hands. Your right goes underneath, or beneath your left. Then hook your pinkie finger on your right hand around your index finger on your left, like this... There you go..."

She shifted uncomfortably between my arms, "This feels awkward. I don't hold a penis like this."

I laughed again, bellowing it out into the store, "I meant, grip it firmly, with two hands. Not with the finger hook thing. Shit, Bella. Okay, anyways... Keep your legs shoulder-length apart, and your arms extended. Keep your left arm as straight as possible. Now, you just swing your hips, keeping your feet planted forward... Then you just..."

My voice trailed off as I brought hers and my arms back, swinging it slowly toward the ball, but not hitting it, "release."

"I'm gonna miss the ball."

"Have confidence, you whiner."

"Shut up, Emmett!" she laughed.

I took a step back from her, watching her practice pulling her arms back. She was so funny, looking like she was stiff and glued tight, that I couldn't help but laugh, "You act like you're retarded."

"My boobs are getting in the way of my arms!" she replied. "I can't keep them straight; they just run into my cleavage. This is why there aren't many female golf pros."

I was almost on the floor from laughter, and to be honest, it felt good to laugh. I've been feeling like an empty shell since yesterday, so it was nice to have some sort of enjoyment -- even if it was momentarily. Before long though, I was back to being sulky, quiet Emmett. _Thank you, Rosalie._

"Emmett?" Bella said, snapping her fingers at me and knocking me out of my daze, "I think I broke the peg stick... thingy."

"It's called a _tee_, Bella," I replied with a chuckle, walking over toward her, "Here's another one."

She attempted to swing again, this time missing the ball completely, and doing a spin on the green felt.

I laughed, catching her before she fell to the ground, "Easy, ballerina."

She dropped the club on the ground forcefully, giving me her signature pout, "I suck."

"Only when Edward asks you to," I teased, "Now pick up your club. I'm turning you into a fucking pro, no questions asked."

She stamped her foot on the ground, crossing her arms over her chest, "No. I can't. I'm uncoordinated."

"Did you just... did you just stamp your foot?"

She pursed her lips, not replying.

I laughed, shaking my head, "Okay, pouty puss. Here's your fucking club. Grip it like a dick, like daddy taught you."

"Emmett!"

"Just _grip it_," I growled playfully at her. She sighed, doing as I asked. "Now," I continued, "lean forward a bit, stick your ass out, so your boobs aren't in your way. Try it again."

I took a step back, watching her swing. She did better, actually making contact with the ball... but with her force of the swing, the ball _should _have done _more _than just softly roll off the tee, down the hill of the simulator. But it didn't. And I laughed again.

This time, she tossed the club at my feet, and I jumped, missing it, "Oooh, hey, don't get testy or we'll get kicked out of here."

I picked the club back up, giving her a driver instead, "Here, this is wider. Should make it easier to hit the ball."

She sighed angrily, pulling back and swinging it quickly. She hit the ball strong, and it slammed into the middle of the screen. 150 yards.

"Fucking excellence, Bella!" I said, clapping my hands. "See what being pissed off gets you? A good fucking swing!"

She beamed like she won an Oscar, bowing down to me, "Thank you, thank you. I try."

After a few more of her erratic swings, ranging from 0 to 82 to 179 yards, then back down to 0 -- almost knocking out the worker who was observing behind me --, she caved in, "I'm over golfing."

I chuckled, taking the driver from her as she apologized to the cashier dude, "Let me show you how it's done."

After I lined everything up, I dipped backwards and followed through, enjoying the _clank _sound of my club meeting the white ball. 310 yards on my first swing of the day.

"Smooth like butter," I whispered coolly, grinning cockily.

She growled at me, "I hate you Emmett."

I began to bounce the golf ball on the end of my club like a person did a hacky sack on their foot, "Everyone loves me. It's a known fact."

"Not when you play golf better than me," she hissed, plopping down on the carpet behind me, "...I'm hungry."

"What are you in the mood for?" I asked, turning around. Food was always a good idea, in my book.

"I don't know," she shrugged nonchalantly, "something... good. I feel like I haven't eaten in years. I've had a lot of headaches lately and they weren't helping my appetite much."

"I'm surprised Doctor Edward hasn't helped you out in the headache department," I joked.

Then I watched as her face blushed bright red and she looked down, suddenly fidgeting with the hem of her shirt, "He... has," she replied. "Multiple times... But now... I'm hungry."

"Come on, big baby, my fucking gosh," I said, pulling her to her feet. I quickly paid for our lesson and we headed out to my Jeep.

Once we were in, she began tinkering with her phone, pushing buttons that sounded like a musical. "What the fuck are you doing over there? Starting a rock band?"

"Texting Edward."

"Dear Edward," I teased, starting my car and backing out of the space, "I can't wait to suck your dick. Love, Isabella."

"You forgot the well, Emmett. Suck his dick _well_."

I turned to face her, grinning from ear to ear, "Why, did you just grow a back bone?"

She grinned at me and shrugged, turning on my stereo, "Maybe."

"I like it. I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," she giggled.

After twenty minutes of me cruising the roads, annoyed by her decision making skills, she finally settled on Pizza Hut.

After we squeezed into a booth and she got a salad from the bar, she sat across from me, grinning as soon as her phone went off. She practically tossed the bowl onto the table, pieces of lettuce flying everywhere, while she struggled to get to it.

"Easy Bella. It's just a text," I chuckled, sticking a piece of her abandoned lettuce in my mouth. "What's it say?"

"It's from Edward," she beamed. _No shit._ "Oh my God, he quoted Emily Dickinson! It says, _'Parting is all we know of heaven and all we need to know of hell_.' Awe, oh my gosh! He's so adorable."

I looked at her, lifting my eyebrows, mouth parted. She stared at the screen for a few moments, before looking up at me, "What?"

"Do I look like one of your fucking little girlfriends that want to gush about your romantic bullshit? No."

She threw her straw wrapper at me, not allowing my sarcasm to kill her love buzz, "Shut up Emmett. Help me come up with a good response."

I glared at her, before sighing and caving in, "_'To die and part is a less evil; but to part and live, there, there is the torment_.' It's by George Lansdowne."

Bella looked over at me like I just saved an old lady from getting creamed by a bus.

"What? Don't fucking look at me like that, all droopy eyed and gushy."

"Awe, Emmett. I didn't know you read poetry and quotes!"

"Shut the hell up," I hissed at her, gaping down at the checkered table top.

"That's so cute!"

"Shut up, Bella. I helped you out, just fucking text the pussy-whipped bitch."

She complied, texting quickly. Then she sat the phone on the table, and began to ear her salad, "Edward's _not _pussy-whipped. That isn't nice."

"He most definitely is."

"No, he's not."

I gawked at her, while the waitress refilled our drinks. "You're stupid."

"_You're _stupid."

"No seriously Bella. You've got that man two seconds away from willingly handcuffing his wrists and shackling himself to your ankles. You took my best buddy from me, like chopped off his balls or something."

"He's the exact same!" she replied, eyes wide, mouth open. "He is! He's still arrogant, still cocky, still whatever else! He hangs out with you guys all the time!"

"It's not the same. Now you're all he fucking talks about."

"I can't help that though," she replied softly, shoving more food in her mouth, "I can't control what he talks about."

I began to feel like an ass, watching her phone go off again. She dropped her fork, scooping the phone up in both her hands. She read the words slowly, her lips moving silently through the words. Then she read it again... and again.

I watched dumbfounded as her eyes began to fill up with tears, and she pulled her lips into a tight line, her right hand over her chest. "Oh God. Did he break up with you or something?" _Because that'd make me feel better, not being the only one without someone._

"No," she whispered, chin quivering. "God, he turns me into such a crying _baby _and I hate it but I can't _help _it..." She wiped her face with the back of her hand, blowing the hair out of her face. "At the end of the quote you told me, I just told him that I missed him more than I did when we broke up... and then he sends me _this_, and it's just... _urgh_..."

I leaned over, pulling the phone out of her hands. The text read: "To_ be honest, Bella, missing you wasn't the _dilemma_ I was _burdened_ with the four years that we were unfortunately apart... It was the constant wondering if you were ever going to come back to me... that was where my torment laid_."

I leaned over the fucking table, despite my own personal battles with my recent break up, and rubbed her shoulders, "it's okay."

She nodded, gathering herself together and maintaining her cool, "Sorry about that. He just _gets _to me." She took a deep breath and then took another bite of her salad.

"I, uh, I bet it was hard... being broken up, knowing that he was your soulmate all that time." I hated talking like a fucking girl, but I had a lot on my mind, and this was my way to get it out.

She nodded, swallowing, "It was... Oh my gosh, it was _awful_. Most days I spent walking around like a corpse, numb and sick to my stomach. I was trying to figure out what I'd done wrong, or what I could have done differently... It felt like we were in the wrong place. Like... one of us was wrong, and that I should just go find him, or he should just find me... but we were both so stubborn for so long, and had all these hurt feelings and hard pasts without each other... it sucked."

"I can imagine," I whispered, picking at the table. _More than you know._

"Writing in my thick journal helped though," she admitted. "I have two of them, actually. I even have names for them, so I can keep them apart... One is about all my struggles with my personal life. The other one I brought along."

She looked down, shaking her head and whispering to herself, "...It's, uh, all been about Edward, every single last page."

"Hmm, that's cool," I agreed, not wanting to dig into her privacy.

The waitress set our pizza down, and Bella finally began to text him back.

"What are you texting?" I asked as I sat a piece on her plate.

"I'm just telling him that it was inevitable that I came back to him, because ... -- okay don't think I'm cheesy, which I _am _but that's not the point, -- but I'm telling him that it was inevitable that I came back to him because it was hard to breathe without my heart, and he was the one that had it in his hands, and still does."

I nodded in silence, shoving a big bite of food into my mouth.

"So... you miss Rosalie?" she asked, almost making me choke on my food.

I shrugged, patting my chest, "Yeah, I guess. But it's all confusing and shit."

"How so?"

"It's hard to miss someone who you didn't even know like you thought you did."

She sighed, picking at her pepperoni, "My sister has her faults. Trust me, I know, with the whole Edward thing, and many more I'm sure no one even knows about. But... she just doesn't know how to deal with pressure. She's used to having everything handed to her. She sucks at making decisions."

"_This _sucks," I sighed, taking another bite, "I mean, I really thought she was special."

"She is."

"Yeah... but just not the special-for-me, I guess."

"Emmett," she whispered.

Then her phone went off again. She read this one out loud, "_'Miles must not have _separated_ us, because you were always with me as well, my love. The distance between two hearts is not an obstacle... rather a beautiful reminder of just how strong true love can be... OUR LOVE_.' Awe, he's so incredible."

I smirked, taking a sip of my beer, "You're just as pussy-whipped as he is. You're dick-whipped."

She smiled, sending him a short text, "Edward can dick-whip me any time."

I chuckled, "Kinky." Then I grabbed her phone from her hands, "You need to lighten up the mood a little. No more depressing text-message shit. I'm sending something better." I keyed in the words quickly, fighting away her attempts to get her phone back. Once it was sent successfully, I tossed the phone back to her. "Fifteen bucks says he's a fucking perv like the rest of us and he's going to write something sexual in response. He's a man, Bella. Your proof will come soon."

She growled and blushed at the same time, digging into her sent folder, "What did you text him?"

Then she read it out loud, not bothering to lower her voice for the mother and child and ten other occupied tables surrounding us, "_'Picture this, Edward: I'm in your bed, body hot, mad hot, soaking wet and _feisty_ horny, thinking about the things I'd like to do... I'm wide open when it comes to you'!!! _OH MY GOD, EMMETT!! He's gonna think I'm a SLUT!"

"Just wait for it," I said, taking another piece from the pan. And sure enough, a minute later, he responded to her. "What the fuck does it say?" I asked, curious to why her cheeks turned the color of the red checker on this table cloth.

She covered her mouth, reading it and speaking into her palm, "It says, '_I once heard you were a sweet person, so I had to lick you and find out... and sure enough, it was the truth. I was wondering if you'd allow me to spend the remainder of my lifetime rested happily between your thighs? Because if you would... Mmm... I can taste you all ready. _You're_ making my mouth water, Isabella.' _OH MY FUCKING GOD!"

I grinned, shaking my head at her virginal expression, "He got you hot, didn't he?"

She threw a whole breadstick at me, giggling like a school girl, "Shut up!"

"You're not denying it," I replied in a sing-song voice. "Fucking amateur. Send another one to him."

She giggled, shaking her head, "I can't! I wouldn't know what to say to him!"

"It's called dirty talk, Bella. It's quite simple. Just go perverted, and he'll love it."

"I can't!" she whined playfully, biting her lip.

So I yanked the phone from her and texted again, "I heard this one from a girl once. He'll love it."

"What are you writing?" she asked, not bothering to object to me.

"I'm writing, _'Loveable, _cuddle able_, sexable, flexible, I'm just so damn INCREDIBLE. So come over quickly and bend me over, and I'll show you why I'm so damn EDIBLE'_."

She giggled, shaking her head, "That's awful."

"He'll love it."

And he did, because he's a male like the rest of us. He wrote back with, '_Does that mean you want to eat my children afterward?_ ;) _JKJK, I love you Angel_.'."

Bella frowned, eyebrows hanging in confusion, "Ewwwww. Wait. Uh... I don't... get it."

I laughed, covering my mouth to avoid spitting out my Bud Light on her, "Are you fucking kidding me, Bella?!"

She shook her head, looking like a ten year old girl. _How a fucking girl like that can be so incredibly hot and dimwitted surprised me._

"Bella, think about it. Read it slowly and then think about it."

She did, shaking her head, "Something gross?"

"He's asking if that means you'll swallow his jizz for him."

Her lips formed into a perfect 'O', causing me to laugh. "Why didn't he just... say that? Why did he have to confuse me?" Then she texted him back, one word. Most likely, a yes or no response.

"It's not confusing. You're just a brunette with blonde roots."

"Not funny."

"Did you answer yes or no?"

She grinned, taking a bite of her crust, "What do you think?"

I gave her a high-five across the table, "That's my girl!"

* * *

**JacobPOV**

After we finished our bottle of wine and talked about random shit for an hour, I paid for our meal and we were onto our next location.

First, we went to some street shops, buying little souvenirs and random stuff.

Then we hung out by the lake for a few moments, but it was too fucking cold to stand out there for a long time. Alice was going to turn into a shudderbug if I didn't get some warmth around her.

So we blasted the heater. Alice let me drive Jasper's truck, and sat bouncily in the passenger bucket seat, playing with the radio, "Have you ever played The Radio game?"

I shook my head, lighting a cigarette, "No."

"Wanna play?"

"How does it work?"

"You ask the radio a question, and then hit the seek button. Your answer will be in the lyrics of the first random song you land on."

"That's stupid."

"Oh, Jake, come on, just play with me!"

"Fine," I hissed, stopping at the red light. "You go first, pixie."

She nodded, thinking about her question, "Oh, okay! Does Jasper miss me?"

It landed on _Journey's, "When You Love A Woman", _with the lyric, "_if I can't believe this one is true, to fall in love is so hard to do. I hope that for tonight, somewhere you're thinking of me girl, yes I know you are. I know that when you love a woman, you'll see your world inside her eyes_..."

I glowered over to her, "I guess he misses you."

She clapped, bouncing in the seat giddily, "I knew it! Okay, your turn, ask it a question."

"Uhhh," I scratched my head, trying to control my annoyance, "Mister Radio, what are my chances of getting fucked up, as drunk as possible tonight?"

Alice motioned for me to turn the station, and I rolled my eyes, hitting the seek button. It landed on _Ludacris, "What's Your Fantasy", _with the lyric_, "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give it to me now, give it to me now, give it to me now, give it to me now."_

We laughed together, and the light turned green.

"See, that was fun! Plus, that's a yes, so that means you'll be happily drunk tonight!" Alice said. "My turn. Okay, Mrs. Radio, is the date Jasper is going to take me on going to be romantic tomorrow, if he feels better?"

With a click of the radio, it landed on _Spice Girls, "Wannabe", _with the lyric_, "If you wanna be my lova, you gotta get with my friends. Make it last forever, friendship never ends."_

We both looked at each other, and laughed again.

"Uhhh, does that mean he wants to share you with his friends on your romantic date?" I asked sarcastically.

"I think I confused the radio," she dismissed, "maybe you should try it again. Ask it a real question this time."

I groaned, stopping at another red light, "Do I have to?"

"Yes."

"Urgh. Okay, Mister Radio ...is someone I'm thinking about... thinking about me as well?"

Alice squealed, leaning closer to the radio as I hit the button.

It landed on, _The Perisher's, _with _"Sway" _and the lyrics_, "Are we back to where it all began? Have you finally forgiven me? You get that my dream has end, when they all blew away, and then tricked them back into me. You saved me on a sunless day... I don't wanna hurt you. I don't wanna make you sway... Like I know I've done before. I will not do it anymore. I've always been a dreamer... I hide my head _among_ the clouds. But now that I am coming down... Won't you be my solid ground?"_

"WOW!" Alice squealed again, her eyes wide in curiosity, "Bryan must be thinking about you!"

"It's not Bryan," I said, shaking my head as I put the truck in third. "I mean, the question wasn't about... Bryan."

"Who was it about?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes, "No one."

"Jacob Black."

"No one, Alice."

"Fine. I'll just ask the radio. Mrs. Radio, who was Jacob talking about?"

The radio chose to select _David Archuletta, "Crush", _with the lyric_, "Does it ever cross your mind, when we're hanging and spending time girl? Are we just friends, or is there more, is there more? See it's a chance we've got to take. Cause I believe that we can make this into something that lasts forever... Forever. Do you ever think, when you're all alone, all that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love? Is it really just another crush?"_

"Oh my gosh! How cute!" she shouted, gushing.

I glared at the radio, "I don't want to play this fucking game anymore."

"Awe, Jacob," Alice said, patting me on my head, "do you have a crush on someone?"

I eyed her down and then turned my attention back to the cars, "No."

"Yes you do! Oooh, tell me, I love secrets."

"I don't have a crush on anyone, Alice. Trust me. I don't get crushes."

She took a deep breath, not removing her eyes from me, "You're lying."

"The only person who has crushes is the twenty year old girls at the clubs who dig on me. I don't _like _anyone."

"You're awfully testy for someone who's hell-bent on denying the fact that he has a crush on someone."

"I just hate the fucking Radio Game. Okay?"

She giggled, then covered her mouth, "Okay. No more radio game."

"Thanks. Wanna go watch a movie?"

"YES! That sounds fun!"

"Okay... what's good that just came out this January?"

"Um..." she pondered, tapping her chin, "_Bride Wars_? And that mall cop movie, _Paul Bart_, or something?"

"The second one. No girly shit."

"Deal!" she said.

After we got into the theater, I paid for the tickets and the popcorn, candy, and soda. Alice tried to argue with me, but I didn't fucking think so. No woman has ever paid for me.

Once we were nestled in the back row of the theatre, munching on popcorn, my cell phone began buzzing and vibrating in my pants.

I groaned, digging it out of my pocket. The last thing I needed was a fucking conference call. I was supposed to be on vacation.

So I was surprised when it was Rosalie, sending me a text message that read, "_Edward's surprisingly nice today. How's Alice?"_

I wrote her back, "_Bubbly. And I'm glad Edward isn't being a dick to you. Are you doing okay?"_

She responded with, "_I feel like I did when I woke up this morning. Wishing I was dead instead. How about yourself?"_

Alice stole the popcorn bucket from me, dancing along to the theater music, currently playing "_Something _to_ Talk About"_ by _Bonnie Raitt._

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. I wrote, "_Don't fucking start that shit, Rose. Stay strong. I'm doing fine, I guess. Wish you were here instead of Tinkerbell though. You're less... bouncy_."

A few minutes later, she wrote back, "_I wish I were there with you too. What are you two doing now, where are you at??"_

I glared at Alice, accidentally tossing some popcorn down her shirt.

I laughed, then wrote back, "_The theaters, watching Paul Bart, Mall Cop. It's going to be fucking great. I'll save you two a seat if you guys wanna come. The movie starts in like fifteen?? PS, PLEASE COME_."

About three minutes later, she responded with, "_On our way. Save me some popcorn, J_."

"_Will do, blondie_."

As soon as I told Alice that our date was about to turn into a double, she surprisingly grew giddier -- if possible. "YES! Yay, I'm so excited! I get to hang with my best friend, without Bella!"

"What does that mean?" I laughed. "I thought ya'll were friends again."

"No, no, we are," she said, backing up, "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant... Edward's always around her now. So... it's nice to be able to hang out with him and actually have him pay attention to me."

"You're such an attention whore, Alice."

"I know, right?"

I smiled at her. "Eat your popcorn, bisssshhhhh."

She giggled, shoving a few kernels in my mouth, "Eat _your _popcorn, wiener."

"Weiner?! _That's _what you came up with?"

"Yes! WEINER!"

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Edward and Rosalie joined us in the theatre, him carrying all their snacks and sodas.

She plopped down in the seat to my left, while he unloaded the stuff and gave Alice a hug and me a friendly nod. Then he sat down beside Alice, on her right.

"Whatcha snackin' on?" Rose asked me, leaning over to inspect my candy box.

"Sour skittles. Want some?"

She pulled out her hand, palm up. I poured some in, laughing as some missed her palm and landed in her lap.

Edward and Alice were trying to see who could answer the trivia questions on the screen the fastest. Edward was winning, of course, which caused Alice to get frustrated and call him a cheater.

Rosalie turned to me, curling out her bottom lip, "I'm trying not to be sad today, but it's not working so good for me."

I rolled my eyes, throwing my arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer to me, "What, is loverboy over there not as charming as all the women make him out to be?"

"It's not about Edward," she said, nudging me in the ribs with her elbow, "it's me. And you, for that matter."

Taking a breath of annoyance, I looked at her through my peripheral version, "you sure didn't have any problems with me when I was between your t-"

Her hand clamped over my mouth, and she giggled when I bit down on her middle finger, "I don't mean like that, jerk, and I don't have a problem with you then or now... I just have a problem with lying to get my way out of things. I don't understand how you have forgiven me that easy, or Edward even, for that matter."

Sighing, I rubbed her shoulders, "life's too short when you bitch at someone you love for something stupid that doesn't really matter."

"Awe, Jake." Rosalie lifted the arm rest between us, so there wasn't anything there now, and scooched closer, resting her head on my shoulder as the previews came on, "I heart you too."

"Thanks sugar puff."

She giggled, "You're welcome, rice cakes."

Rosalie's petite body seemed to somehow wrap around me, and she smelled wonderful, like apples and cinnamon. Fucking delicious.

"Oh, I almost forgot," I whispered to her as I dug into my right pocket, "I got you a little something today."

Her eyes lit up as she tilted her head to look at me, "You did?"

"Yes," I chuckled, "it's not a pony or anything, don't get too excited. Alice and I went into some souvenir shops earlier, and I saw this and thought of you -- or us, really."

I opened her palm, sliding the sleek, silver, crotch-rocket key chain -- an almost exact replica of my Suzuki GSXR 1000 Phantom -- that had a diamond between the handlebars, and a nameplate dangling along with it.

Rose's eyes grew larger, "Awe, it's like yours, like the one we built together this past summer! Oh my gosh, that was so much fun!"

I flipped it over, shining the light from my cell phone on it so she could read the font I had engraved for her on the nameplate.

She squinted her eyes, leaning closer to me, "_'Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be all right. XOXO, your buddy, Jacob_.' Oh my gosh, Jake! It's got the _Bob Marley_ song we rocked out to all summer long! It's our anthem! How thoughtful of you, oh my gosh..."

I grinned, watching her run her manicured nails along the gift, "so, does that mean you like it?"

"No one has ever got me anything like this," she whispered, biting her lip, "...thank you."

I kissed the side of her head, "don't get all mushy on me. It was just the thought that counts."

"That's just it," she said, quickly wiping a tear from her cheek and shaking it off, "it's the _thought _that gets to me. Your thoughts, our thoughts -- our anthem!"

"Cheeseball," I teased.

"No, I'm serious, Jake. You're making my heart hurt again, but you do it in a _good _way."

I smiled, resting my cheek to the top of her head, thinking to myself.

"Hey, hey, hey," Alice said, leaning over us and stealing some skittles out of my box, "don't steal my date, Rose. Jake's mine today, Edward's yours."

"What did _I _do to _you_?" Edward chuckled to her, ignoring the man in front of us that shushed him.

"Nothing," Alice giggled, "but we're not being fair to Bella and Emmett, sneaking out and having this double date thing. This is against my rules... So I was just letting them know, that you belong to her today, and Jake is mine."

Edward smirked, shaking his head, as he lowered himself and got comfortable in his seat.

Then he began mumbling something like, "This is like the weird foursome I _never _wanted to dream about."

All of us laughed.

He did have a point.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I stared at my phone, waiting for Emmett to come back with his handful of tokens.

It was weird that Edward wasn't texting back, suddenly. He was going at it for a while, a message every few minutes or so for the past hour. But now... nothing.

So I texted to him, "_What are you doing? Please tell me my sister is not trying to make that lie about the two of you a disturbing reality_."

Finally, that got him going. He responded with, "_Rose & I are at the movies, love. Sorry about the delay. I'll text you as soon as I get out, I promise. Love you. Oh, and btw, that was really fucking disgusting. Thanks for making me too nauseated to eat my _licorice."

I giggled, shaking my head and writing back, "_ILYM. I hope you're missing me over there. And ps, I'll trade you my headache for your nausea_."

A few minutes later, he wrote, "_No you don't love me more. And you have headaches again??"_

I sighed, texting, "_Yes, but no worries. It's probably the disgusting beer Emmett made me drink at Pizza Hut earlier today. I'll be fine, enjoy your movie."_

Forty seconds later, I received, _"I will. Call me if it gets worse, I'll come home and make you some chicken noodle soup or give you a massage or something."_

"Hey fucker!" Emmett said, bouncing in front of me, "put your fucking phone in your pocket. No more texting. We're at fucking _Chuck-E-Cheese_, and our asses are gonna be playing some games!"

"Emmett, you soooo easily fit into _Chuck-E-Cheese_, you big kid."

"I know! It's like my mothership or some shit! I mean, it's for kids, but we get to drink beer here! It's heaven!"

Then he leaned down toward me, lowering his voice to a whisper, "Psst. Plus, it's cheering me up, so just go along with it."

I giggled, doing as he asked with my phone and looking around the massive arcade and screaming kids, "fine, drill sergeant. What's first?"

"Dance, dance, revolution!"

"Are you trying to kill me?!" I shouted, batting my lashes, "I'm not that coordinated, Emmett."

"Bull fucking shit, Bella! Don't give me that! I've seen you, dancing in my Dad's clubs, dancing at New Years and the parties, not to mention when you're all over Edward's junk. I _know _you can dance!"

I threw my hands on my hips, looking at him like he sprouted a second head, "Yeah, but not on _point_! Not when there's little colored squares beneath my feet that I have to hit the same time the screen flashes them! I'm going to break my neck!"

"I won't let you break your neck," he begged, curling out his bottom lip and looking like a three-year-old little boy trying to persuade his father, "_please_, Bella?"

Growling at the burly teddy bear in front of me, I caved in.

He was just like Alice. Not stopping until he got his damn way.

So there I stood, standing on a metal circle, staring at little arrows beneath me pointing to every direction. "Emmett," I said, shaking my head, "how do I get myself into these messes?"

"You hang out with your wang out," he replied.

Leave it to Emmett.

Three songs later, I hit a few notes correctly, which made it fun.

And then by six songs later... I was thinking I should be a professional DDR girl.

...But then I got careless and cocky.

And, since I'm me, I also somehow managed to hurt my brain, fall three times, twist my ankle, hit the metal bar behind me that is supposed to _stop _a fall -- which it didn't -- collapse into Emmett and knock _him _over, landing on a few of my fingers and wedging them, and finally, as a beautiful and shiny encore, I smacked my forehead on the arcade screen.

I fell onto the circle, holding my head, "Oww, I think I busted my frontal bone."

Emmett laughed, kneeling in front of me as the stupid little arrows kept lighting up and the song kept playing, "Let me see it, crazy."

He pulled my hands from my forehead, trying to maintain his laughing to a minimal, "Well, you've got a scrape, and possibly a bruise, but nothing too major. Are you feeling dizzy?"

"I'm always dizzy," I said, pulling myself up.

"I think we need to retire the dance, dance, revolution, what do you say?"

"I agree, whole-heartedly."

A few moments of rest at the tables, and a large glass of water and three Tylenol later, Emmett lifted his eyebrows, "Yep. Faint brown bruise. Wanna play air hockey?"

I giggled, "Sure."

Air hockey was much safer.

Despite my one time that I somehow managed to knock the black puck off of the static-cling white table and almost hit the tiny cashier girl behind the counter, it was fun. I even beat Emmett after our third game, and I made sure I bragged about it for a long while.

Because Emmett was supposed to be good at all sports. "And I just kicked your ass!" I bragged, dancing around him in a tiny circle, pointing at him with my fingers, "ha, ha, ha."

"Watch it, you little fragile girl," he teased, "don't make me give you another bruise."

I laughed louder, then winced, holding my forehead, "okay, okay, I give. No more bragging."

Emmett won me a pink bunny after shooting down some targets with fake bullets, then made 150 baskets in two minutes, beating my 42 baskets.

After that, we tackled the ski-ball game, where I beat him again.

Then it was the frogs you punch with the big fake axe thing, the light game where you stop the button on your arrow to win a prize -- which we both miserably failed -- race car games, skiing simulator games, motorcycle games... After that, we played a few brain games... and then attempted DDR again.

That time, I didn't fall. And I even won one game, on beginner level though, of course.

Then Emmett suggested the ball pit.

And we had a BLAST there. Jumping around with these little kids, throwing colored plastic balls at each other. Emmett tried to fill his shirt with as many as possible, and ended up looking like a marshmallow man by the end of that.

He got in trouble though. _Balls are _supposed_ to remain in the pit, not in our clothing_, the manager said.

We quickly moved on to more games.

Finally, after a couple long hours, we were pretty hyper from all the sugar intake we consumed from our winnings, drunk off the beer we drank -- or stole, considering the adults are only supposed to have a few drinks there. The kids around us were giving us a headache from their constant screaming and running around.

A quick reflection in the bathrooms reminded us that we were twenty-three and twenty-four year olds, holding onto various sources of stuffed animals, tiaras', candy, and beer.

We decided to book it.

Emmett carried me on his back to the Jeep, and I laughed, resituating my paper crown on my head, sucking on my push-pop, "That was fun!"

"I know!" he said, hopping in on his side, "now we're all doped up on fucking candy and beer though."

"Are you okay to drive?" I hiccupped.

"Yep," he said, peeling out of the space, and lunging me forward toward the dash.

"Emmett!" I laughed, quickly buckling us into the seats, "you're sooo not okay to drive!"

"I'm fine Bells! I won't kill us; Edward will dig me up and kill me again if I hurt you."

"We need to get some bread or crackers or something in our system," I said, "or we're gonna be a mess here when all the liquor sets in."

He squealed to a stop at the red light, and flicked on his blinker, readjusting his "I'm a Princess" sash he won earlier today. "What do you have in mind? We just had pizza, like, three hours ago."

"Ugh, I don't know. I'm not real hungry now. But we're staying twenty minutes away, and I don't trust your driving skills in town. Plus, I have to pee."

"Bella, you just went pee inside!"

"I gotta go again," I hissed at him. "It's all that beer you made me consume."

"I had no part in your alcohol intake," he chuckled, slamming on the gas and quickly passing an old lady in a mini van. "That was _all _you... if Edward asks, that is." Then he winked at me.

I giggled, "You're such a chicken."

"Hey, hey, I've seen Edward _really_ fucking pissed off... and I don't want to see that ever again. Specially if his rage is aimed toward me."

"Edward doesn't have rage," I replied.

"Trust me. When it comes to you, and who's fucking with you or fucking shit up _for _you, he has rage."

"Like when?"

He sighed, turning on a hip hop station, "Just... whenever. Don't worry about it. We're getting you to a bathroom before you piss your pants."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Alice somehow managed to lift both arm rests from the theatre seats, twist her tiny body around, have her head in my lap, and her feet in Jacob's lap.

Rosalie had her arm rest up as well, and her head on Jake's shoulder.

Jake was leaned back in his seat, arm around her, cheek on her head, chewing on a twizzler.

I was twirling pieces of Alice's hair between my fingers, munching on some popcorn.

The movie was hilarious. Kevin James owned.

But I missed Bella. I tried texting her a few times throughout the movie, despite me telling myself to leave her alone and let her have fun, but she never wrote back.

I figured Emmett was just distracting her, teaching her how to be a kid again.

After the flick, the lights came on, blinding us all. We waited until everyone else was piled out before we even got out of our seats.

Rosalie wrapped both her arms around Jake's waist, while I hurled my arm over Alice's shoulders and led the way out.

It was sprinkling outside, and the sky was blackened out with heavy clouds.

I squinted my eyes, lifting Alice above the mud puddle so she didn't ruin her new shoes.

"So, are we all heading home?" I asked, looking at the three of them.

"I've got to make one more stop," Alice declared, tugging Jake away from Rosalie's arms. "And I need my _date _to do it with."

I smiled, rubbing her head, "Okay, we've got to make another stop as well. So I'll see you later?"

"Yep!" she said, jerking me down to her height and kissing me on my cheek.

I smiled politely over to Rosalie, and she politely smiled back. _Maybe we were going to get along from now on._

Taking that as a hint, I gave Jake a nod, and opened the door for Bella's sister. She smiled at me, and climbed in.

Once we were back on the road, I turned to her, "What did you say you had to get from Wal-Mart after the movie?"

She sighed, "Personal female products."

"Ohh," I said. "Gotcha."

"I really, really don't like this Wal-Mart," she explained, shaking her head, "there's so many creeps in there. Weird men that gawk at me."

"I'll be with you," I reassured her.

She turned and smiled shyly at me, "Thanks."

I gave her a nod, and we drove in silence until we got to the supercenter.

Which, we were on the opposite side of town, in a bad neighborhood.

I should have known it was a bad idea, but it was the closest one to where we were at the moment.

Side by side, we entered and weaved around the strange crowds and shopping carts, toward the feminine hygiene department.

She seemed a bit apprehensive about me standing there with her, but once I reassured her that it didn't bother me, and what my chosen profession was, she quickly dismissed her fears.

"I just hate carrying them through the store," she exhaled. "I feel like everyone stares at me, and are secretly making fun of me or something."

"Well... what kind do you use?"

"Tampax Pearls," she replied, looking straight to the ground and twisting the toe of her high heel.

I chuckled, pulling a box from the shelf, "This one?"

"No," she giggled, biting her lip, "the multi-pack. The ones that fold down, so it's less obvious."

I exchanged the box, and held out another one, "This one?"

"...Yeah."

"Okay. Come on," I said, nudging on her arm with my elbow, "I'll carry them for you."

Her cheeks turned to a blush that I'm used to seeing only on Bella, and she shook her head, "no, no, you don't have t-to do that, uh, no, it's okay, I'll-"

"I don't mind," I said, cutting her off. "Do you need anything else?"

"Uhhh..." she stammered, looking out of her element and flabbergasted, "I don't know."

"Well, look around, we have time."

She nodded, walking around the isles. She pulled a few things of make-up from certain aisles -- mainly MAC -- and then some q-tips and peroxide.

"Anything else?" I asked her.

"Uh..." she stared at another aisle blankly, and I looked toward it.

"Pregnancy test?"

She took a deep breath, and snatched one from the shelf, "Okay, let's go."

"Wait, wait, Rose," I said, grabbing her elbow, "wait. I don't mean to be rude, but is that for you?"

She looked up at me, her sad eyes growing sadder, "Yeah."

I furrowed my brows at her, "_and _the tampons?"

"Yeah... just in case it's a false alarm or something."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"It's fine," she quickly said, leading the way out of that section of the store.

As we were standing in the large -- but somehow smallest -- line at the check out section, she grew more and more nervous, clutching things to her chest.

Behind us, I noticed a lot of men around her were indeed gawking at her ass and her breasts.

The more and more I looked around, I noticed the eyes were everywhere... Some women's on me, but most eyeing her down, -- _because she was with me?_ -- and men trying to eye-fuck her. It was disgusting.

Rolling my eyes, I threw my arm around her waist, pulling her to me.

Then I shot death glances around the room. _Back. The. Fuck. Off._

"W-What are you doing?" she asked, when I wrapped my other arm protectively around her waist.

"Creating an illusion of a couple," I declared. "Just go with it."

She nodded, swallowing hard. "This is weird," she whispered. "I've never been this close to you before."

I laughed softly, "How does it feel?"

"Uhhh," she said, flustered.

That made me laugh more, "Never mind. Don't answer that."

"I wasn't gonna."

At last, the cashier girl started scanning all of Rosalie's items. The total came to $48.26.

Before she could protest, I handed the girl my card, "I've got it."

Rosalie glared at me, twisting around while I kept my arms around her, "You don't have to do that."

"It's fine."

Once her bags were gathered, I kept my arm around her as we passed a group of men leaning against their rusted car, blaring shitty music that was supposed to resemble bass.

Unfortunately for us, we were parked right next to them.

"That's a nice ride," one hoodlum said to me. "White boy."

"And a nice ass chick." his buddy agreed.

"He must be a pimp," another decided.

I tossed her bags in the trunk, trying to ignore them as I walked us around and opened her car door.

"Ohhh, wait, see, he opens the door for her too? He must have money!"

"Mind your own fucking business," I said, motioning for her to get in.

She looked at me hesitantly and whispered, "Those guys don't look safe, Edward. They're scary."

"Just get in, Rose. It's fine."

Then I felt a hand push on my back, and I crashed into Rose, pinning her against the open door of my car.

"What, white boy, you got money? Wanna give me some?"

Exhaling, I made sure she was okay, and then twisted around, to stare down the four guys that were trying to imitate rappers. "Is there a problem here, gentleman?"

"Yeah, there's a big fucking problem. Rich boy just entered our neck of the woods."

It was really hard trying to keep my cool-guy persona when all I wanted to do was fuck them up.

I cleared my throat, fighting back the urge to swing. "We were just leaving," I replied. "We'll get out of your _neck of the woods_ very quickly."

"No, no, no," a different guy targeted me, "see... there's a toll for parking that pretty convertible here. Fifty bucks."

"I don't fucking think so," I scoffed. "Go get a job and make some of your own money. Stop bumming on the streets."

Again, I tried to motion for Rosalie to get in, but she was like a frozen block of ice.

"It's fine," I whispered to her, "I can handle it. Get in."

"They could hurt you, Edward," she mumbled back to me, grabbing my jacket.

"Listen to your _bitch_, Edward. Just give us the cash."

Okay, that was it. Cool-guy was retired. I twisted around, pushing the guy that was closet to me back against his rusted green car, "Don't fucking call her a bitch."

Of course, that pissed off his little friends, and they all came toward me.

Within that few second, I did a recap of my situation: One guy was twiggy, easily about 90lbs. _No problem_. The other guy was muscular on his legs, but had skinny arms. _Couldn't pack a punch_. The third guy was really fat, so if I swung quickly... _I could get away and he'd never fucking catch me_. The last guy, whom I just pushed, was about my weight, but shorter. And he didn't swing back. _He was all talk._ Plus, I had a pocket knife in my pocket, and a gun beneath my seat, if necessary.

"Yo man! Just give us some of that sweet cash you got your bitch walking the streets for, and we'll call it a day."

I glared at them, putting all the muster of anger I had between my eyes. _Don't fuck with me_, I thought, as I steadied my hand over my pants pocket that held the weapon inside.

Two of them must have not liked my expression, because they backed away a bit, while the skinny guy and the fat one stayed.

"Just leave us alone," Rosalie shouted, as she stood in front of me.

I quickly grabbed her, pushing and shoving her behind my body, "stay there."

"Listen to your boyfriend, bitch. He's smart. Don't want you getting hurt."

"Call her a bitch one more time," I hissed at them, in a dark voice that was even foreign to me. "Do it."

"Dude," the smart one who got pushed first said, as he wised up, "let's just go. He ain't got shit."

"Your friend is smart," I continued. "I'd do as he said."

"Sure," the fat one said. "As soon as you give us the cash."

"Edward, let's go," Rose shouted, tugging on my hips as she stood behind me. "Let's just go."

I stayed put, fingering the casing in my pocket, "Come get the fucking cash."

They heard the distinct sound of me opening the knife in my pocket, that cling sound it made, and all of them slowly began to dissipate and step back.

"What?" I demanded. "It's right here, in this pocket. I'll give it to you, come get it."

"No," the wise one said. "Let's go. MOVE, let's go!"

Quicker than necessary, four gansta-wannabe men scurried to their beaten down car, and took off like a bat out of hell.

Tucking the blade back into its case, I felt a smack on the backside of my head.

"ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?" Rosalie shouted, twisting me around. "You could have got yourself hurt, you idiot!"

"But I didn't," I said.

"That's not the point, Edward! Why do you have to be so arrogant? Why can't you back down? Why can't-"

"They were creating an attempt to _rob _me, Rose. Plus they called you a bitch."

"Like you've never called me a bitch before!" she backfired, throwing dark glances at me.

"It's different," I stated. "I'm practically your family. They were just imbeciles."

The rain began to pour, but because we were both stubborn, we stayed put.

"They were robbers! Big, scary, freakish robbers who wanted to fucking kill you!"

"Don't be dramatic," I said, reopening her door, "they didn't even touch me."

"One of these days Edward, you're not going to win the fight."

"Well," I said as I shut her door and climbed in my side, "when that day comes, you can say _I told you so_. But for now, just say _thank you_."

She glared at me, "Thank you, _Edward_."

"You're welcome," I replied, giving her my crooked smile that I knew would calm her down. And it did.

She fought back a smile, but couldn't help it any longer, and let it go when I stopped at the red light.

She relaxed, shaking her head and laughing. "You're so irritating."

"I know."

"Of course you do."

"Besides," I said, nudging her arm with my elbow, "I carried your tampons for you. That should be a double thanks."

"Ohhh," she giggled. "Fine, double thank you, Edward."

"You're double welcome."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I paced around the den for a while, waiting for Edward to get back.

It was seven pm.

He should be here by now.

I quickly checked on Jasper, who was sleeping in the bedroom still.

He had a slight fever, it appeared, and Kleenexes around the bed, but nothing too serious looking.

I poured him a glass of water, before heading back down stairs to join my "date".

Emmett flicked on the television, plopping down on the couch, "stop pacing, you're making me dizzy."

"Sorry," I whined, sitting down beside him. "I miss my Edward."

"He'll be here shortly," he chuckled, "you big ass, dick-whipped baby."

"Shut it," I said, curling my arms around my knees. I waved my face with my fingers, blowing a piece of sticky hair from my eyes.

Emmett turned to me, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, just hot suddenly."

"It's the beer and shit you've consumed. I'm hot too."

I nodded, as the door swung open.

My neck snapped quickly, and I sighed when Alice and Jake walked through the doors, laughing.

"Have you guys seen Edward?" I asked Alice.

"Hello to you too, my Bella!" she replied, handing her bags to Jake. "Yes, he had to make a stop. He'll be here soon."

I pouted, curling into fetal position and laying my head on Emmett's thick thigh.

Emmett began to scratch my head, and my lashes fluttered shut.

"That bruise you have is hardly there now," he stated. "Much better."

"Thanks," I whispered.

I clutched the Gemini twin necklace between my fingers, praying Edward somehow felt my desperation to have him back, from his half of the necklace set.

I felt myself quickly dazing off, and before I knew it, I had fallen into a nap.

Exhaustion seemed to be my friend this past week or so. It's been a long vacation so far.

It couldn't have been a long one, however, because the door swung open, and my heart began skipping beats left and right... and once that electric current swayed over me, I knew it was Edward, and not Jake getting more of Alice's bags out of the car.

I didn't even have time to shoot off the couch, because Edward was kneeling in front of me.

Smiling like a dork, my heart began to flutter rapidly out of control.

"Hey beautiful," he whispered gently, tucking my hair behind my left ear. "I've missed you."

I tilted my head at him, and pulled him into a big hug, managing somehow to twist my body around and wrap my arms and legs around him simultaneously.

"I've missed you too; it felt like you were gone forever."

He laughed, stroking my back, "Never forever."

"Better not be," I whined, inhaling his scent and burying my face into the heated crook of his neck.

"You smell like beer," he chuckled, standing to his feet and picking me up with him.

He let out a huff, popping me higher in the air around his body, "did you have a good time with Emmett today, baby?"

"Mmmhmm," I nodded, kissing his cheek.

"Go to your room," Rosalie shouted as Edward swayed us from side to side, "no one wants to see your mushy reunion."

"Yeah, you're blocking the fucking television," Emmett spat, throwing a pillow and hitting my ass with the remote. "Edward. Move!"

Edward laughed, swinging us around.

He carried me up the stairs, and plopped on top of me, because I refused to unlock my death grip around him.

"I missed you," I began kissing him over and over again, "so... so... so.... so... much."

"I missed you too, angel. I got you a present. Do you want to have it?"

"Yes!" I said, giving him a much bigger kiss.

"Mmm," he groaned, shoving himself into me, "...in a minute. I'm rather enjoying this."

I giggled, as he slid his tongue into my mouth, blocking my way to sleep.

He tasted of every single thing that I've missed... mints and cigarettes and fruit punch Gatorade, and all these special little ingredients that made up his deliciousness.

I pulled on his hair, sighing into his mouth. He really had no idea how much I missed him. Sure, I had fun with Emmett, and it was nice to be able to spend some time out in the 'real world'.

But... being back here with Edward just proved to me the one thing I thought back when I was fifteen years old and falling for the bronzed-haired boy for the first time: _I could spend the rest of my life deprived of the world if I were to lay in his arms forever._

He kissed my lips a few more times, and then sat back on his knees, digging through his bag.

Instantly, I noticed it was a Zales bag, and my chest caved in, "Edward... what did you _buy _now?"

He always spent ridiculous amounts of money on me, like it came out of thin air.

Sure his parents were richer than anyone else I had ever met, and he was equally rich, plus some more, since he inherited half of the _The Cullen Medical Hospital _for_ Children_, which his grandfather opened when Carlisle was a baby... But he didn't need to spend it on _me_.

He laughed, pulling out two separate boxes, "I wanted to. No arguments. Open them."

I bit my lip and sat up Indian-style in front of him.

He laughed as I greedily undid the first box, "You're so excited."

I nodded, and then gasped, covering my mouth when I noticed the bracelet. It reminded me so much of the bracelet my father Charlie got me when I was thirteen, except this one was much more elegant.

It had a thinner silver band, and the right side had a floral and diamond clutch, while the right side had a smaller, oval shaped diamond. In the middle was a large, oval, turquoise stone. It looked outrageously expensive.

"Oh my gosh!" I said, running my fingers over the oval. "...I cannot believe you remembered that I lost this."

He kissed my other hand, "read the back of it."

I flipped it over. Beneath it, the stone had a thick silver plate inside. It said, "_From the two men in your heart, Edward & Charlie_."

"Edward," I said, shaking my head, "I am not going to cry, I'm not going to cry... This is amazing..."

He smiled warmly, brushing my eyes with his thumbs while he whispered, "I'm glad you like it. I've been thinking about it a lot, lately... I remember when we broke up, I always thought about that bracelet you lost for some reason. And the color... Just everything... It reminded me of you, of us, when we were together."

I sucked in my bottom lip, fighting back tears. I was never _this _emotional before. _What the hell was wrong with me?!_

Edward handed me the other box, and I slowly opened it.

Inside was a platinum band, surrounding a _real _moonstar stone. "EDWARD! It's just like the ring you gave me, from your grandmother! How did you f-"

"Don't you worry about it," he said, sliding it on my pointer finger of my right hand, "it doesn't matter. Your finger was _meant _to have a ring like that on it, so there you go."

"Ohh," I said, pushing the empty boxes to the side. I climbed on my knees, wrapping my arms around his neck seductively, "you're so getting lucky tonight."

"Tonight?" he teased, kissing my chin, "Mmm... How about now instead?"

"Now works too," I giggled, biting my lip when I felt him begin to suck on my neck. "Now is... good.... really, really good."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After our quick but much needed "I miss you" session, we headed back downstairs to join our friends.

There were steaks fired up on the grill outside, which Emmett and Jake were cooking, avoiding the sleet and rain and ice coming outside by ducking beneath the patio. They stood in heavy jackets, shuddering beside the outside fireplace, holding utensils and beers in their hands.

Rosalie was gathered up on the chase, painting her toe nails, looking glum -- _or was it confused?_

Alice was sitting Indian-style on the middle of the wood floor in the den, folding laundry.

I plopped down on the loveseat, pulling Edward down with me.

He laughed, gently fighting my tug, "Sweetheart, I've got to go help the guys."

"They're fine, stay with me."

"Trust me, you don't want Emmett to burn down the patio... and between the grill and the fireplace, he's got a good opportunity to do so."

I curled out my bottom lip to him, batting my lashes.

He tapped my lip with his index finger, shaking his head, "you're the death of me, Bella."

"Does that mean you're staying inside?" I pleaded with him, "...with the warm heater... and me..."

He sighed, looking up to the vaulted log ceiling, "Fine... For a few moments. Because it's you."

"What about me?" Alice asked, pouting to him.

"You're not as important as her," Edward teased her.

Alice threw a pillow at him, missing him entirely.

Before I knew it, he had me in his lap, with his left hand on my stomach, rubbing my skin beneath my shirt.

I rested my head on his shoulder, nuzzling against his neck, and playing with the back of his head, "What did you and Rose do today?"

"Went shopping, watched a movie... so on. You and Emmett?"

"Went to Pizza Hut, Dick's Sporting Good's Store, and Chuck-E-Cheese."

"Well... that explains the beer smell and all of the candy and shit lying around on the kitchen counter."

"We had fun," I smiled. "Emmett's hilarious."

"He is, I agree," Edward sighed. His touch on my bare tummy grew lighter, and he began rubbing a light circle around my belly button, "your skin is so soft."

"Thanks," I whispered, shivering at his touch. It drove me insane. Even though I just had him, I had to fight back urges not to pounce on him again.

He nuzzled his nose along my neck, tilting my head sideways with his hand, so he could have more room.

I bit my lip, trying to really fight back the urge.

"Wanna fight?" he asked, out of nowhere.

"What?" I giggled.

"Fight? Do you want to start a fight with me?"

"Why?"

He smiled against my skin, "because... if 'I miss you' sex is that good... I can't wait until we have 'make-up' sex... I bet it'll be _incredible_."

"Edward," I whispered, shivering again, "stop teasing me."

"Who says I am?" he asked, kissing my ear lobe.

The door swung open, and Jake and Emmett were laughing as they entered, tossing empty beer bottles in the garbage.

"Edward, get out here with us, and leave your cling-buddy. We're _grillin'_, bitch!"

Edward smiled, shaking his head, "I don't know, Emmett. You may catch me on fire or some shit."

"No I won't. And Jacob here promises to be on his best behavior. He even suggested coming to get you himself."

I furrowed my brows at Jake, gripping Edward's hand on my stomach.

Edward sighed, having an internal battle between staying with me or going out with his friends.

So I decided to let him go, pouting inside but smiling on the out.

Regardless of the fact that I could never get enough of him, I didn't want to be clingy. _He'll _never _ask me to be his girlfriend again that way._

He lifted us up, then turned, plopping me down on my back, onto the now-cold-and-empty couch.

Then he lifted my shirt, kissing my stomach. "I'll be back. Stay in here, I don't want you getting sick like Jasper."

"Oh, Jasper!" Alice shouted, running up the steps.

Edward shook his head, kissing my forehead, "I'll be back."

I nodded, trying not to whine and object.

Once he was inside, Rosalie crawled over to me, resting her head on my thigh, "I'm miserable."

"Me too."

"But... I'm really miserable. I'm so confused, and my heart aches, and I don't know what to say to Emmett, and I just... hate this."

"It sucks, I know. But I'm here for you."

"Thanks sis."

"No problem," I replied, stroking my fingers through her long, blonde hair. "Did you have fun with Edward?"

"Yeah... I think we came to an understanding. He's... not so bad... after all."

I smiled proudly, "I told you so."

"Yeah. I see you're wearing his gifts."

"Edward is so romantic," I sighed. "I'm waiting for the moment when he'll come to his senses and realize he doesn't want me anymore... again."

"Not going to happen," she said, slapping my leg, "shut up."

_We'll see_, I thought to myself with a frown.

Once the boys finished cooking and brought the food inside, Alice managed to bring Jasper down the steps.

He looked pretty weakly and pale.

I quickly helped her by pulling out a chair for him. He smiled fragily at me, and I rubbed his hair, "get to feeling better, mister. You're too handsome to be sick."

"Thanks," he chuckled, rubbing my arm.

I helped Emmett serve everyone a plate, and then sat down beside Edward.

Apparently, Edward decided I wasn't sitting close to him, because he grabbed the legs of my chair, and slid it over to him as far as it would go.

I smiled, rubbing his back.

Then I looked around the table.

Rosalie was on one end, forking her corn on the cob. Jake sat next to her, rubbing her leg.

Emmett sat to my left, on the other end, chowing down on large pieces of steak.

He seemed a bit distracted, but much happier than he was when our day first started_. I'd like to think I had a good part on cheering him up._

Alice was with Jasper, feeding him bites of soup while she fed herself simultaneously.

Edward was beside me, cutting my steak for me.

I smiled, shaking my head and remembering all the times he did that for me in the past. _Time doesn't change everything._

He forked a piece, dipped in sauce, and held it out for me. I took the bite, refusing to untangle my fingers from that sexy hair of his.

"Good?" he asked. "I made it for you, since I know you like yours medium-well, not rare, like the rest of us carnivores."

"Yes," I smiled, "it's wonderful. Edward, thank you."

"Anytime, my love."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Dinner went very well.

Everyone talked to everyone. Rosalie even told Emmett thank you for the steak he made for her, and he smiled and told her she was welcome.

After Alice put Jasper back in bed, she rejoined us at the now-cleared table, and sat on Emmett's knee, begging him to give her one of the massages he used to give her in order to pop her back for her.

"Sure thing, Alleycat," he snickered.

She elbowed him in the pecks.

Edward's index finger began tracing light lines along the back of my neck, beneath my hairline.

I curled my cheek to my shoulder, and smiled at him.

He was so handsome, so beautiful... words couldn't described. It hurt to look at him, almost.

...Almost.

He quickly excused himself to the restroom, saying, "Phone. Be right back."

I nodded and smiled at my friends, "It's nice to be here with all of you guys. It's been a fun vacation."

"Here, here!" Emmett shouted, and we all took a sip of our wine.

Eventually, Edward came back.

He leaned forward, pressing his ears delicately to my right ear, "Bella, I want to talk to you about something tonight. Will that be all right?"

I nodded, turning to face him, and whispering back, "You can talk to me about whatever you'd like."

"...You ...may not like it," he said, half-frowning.

"What is it?" I asked, suddenly getting nervous. _Was he going to tell me that he didn't want to be with me? Did he come to his senses??_

"It's..." he sighed, shaking his head and fingering the rim of his wine glass. "I don't know... maybe we should talk about it later, when we're alone."

_Well that didn't make me feel better at all. _

"Let's talk about it now," I suggested, freaking out internally.

He nodded, swallowing and rising to his feet.

My heart was pounding inside my throat as a million scary thoughts crashed over me.

_Is he going to end this? Is he not ready for this? _

_Is it something else? _

_Is he going to ask me to be with him? Is he going to tell me _something?_ What, what, what?_

He slid my chair out, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up with him gently.

Then, the front door swung open.

We all turned our heads to see my mother Renee and Phil entering, along with Edward's parents Carlisle and Esme laughing right behind them.

They took a glance at all of us, looking shocked, which made no sense. They knew we were all coming here.

And we had _no idea _they were going to pop back in, when we still had three days left here. Nothing seemed right suddenly.

Everyone around the table was quiet. No one said a word.

I think we were all stunned.

Esme gawked between Edward and me, while Carlisle looked like he was holding his breath.

Edward quickly dropped my hand, and side stepped away from me.

He cleared his throat, "Hey... mom, dad. Hello, Renee and Phil."

Then I turned to look at the side of Edward's face, and he looked... like he just got caught doing something wrong.

My stomach tightened.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

It _all _began to make sense now.

Why Edward was talking to his dad for that hour, and why he suddenly needed to talk to me tonight... why he scurried to the bathroom when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket.

He turned to face me, and his eyes were sad, and half-empty.

And he just confirmed everything I was worried about. Everything I feared.

Edward was still a mama's boy, and though Esme _liked _me and could appreciate our "high school puppy love", as she once called it as, she didn't think I was what Edward _needed_.

And I knew she loved Tanya, for some un-Godly reason I couldn't fathom.

And they knew Edward came here with Tanya, and that she _wasn't _here now.

And Renee and Phil knew Jasper and I was getting closer too.

They didn't know about me and Edward.

And by the look in Esme's wide eyes as she glanced from Edward to me, I realized then that I appeared to be the 'home-wrecker' type.

And she wasn't happy about this reunion at all.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 19! **

**-- Uh-Oh. More revelations! And Poor Jasper. :(**

**  
QUESTIONS FOR BOTTOM OF REVIEWS:**

**-- Who had the best "twosome" date?  
-- And what do you think is going on with Jake, with his sudden change of heart, and his distance and his "not crush" and all that??**

**--  
**

**-- Edward and Walmart. He really needs to stop fighting, but it was sweet that he defended Rosalie... right?  
-- As far as Esme is concerned, remember in chapters back that Edward talked about her losing a daughter at birth? Well, besides the fact that Edward is a mama's boy, Esme only has  
Edward, so of course she's going to kind of cling to him. He's what she has, besides Carlisle...**

**And we're going to find out more about that journal next chapter, when more stuff hits the fan.  
Next chapter will have flashbacks! And again, thank you guys for everything!**

**For those who asked for their ages in the story, I'm guessing they're around 21 for Jake, 22-23 for Bella, Alice, and Jasper, & Eddykins, and 24 for Emmett and Rosalie...  
That sounds about right to me!  
If it doesn't sound right to you, please pretend it does! ;)  
Bc it was 4 years since they broke up when they were 18, Edward almost 19, so... they'd be going on 23 this year.  
[Jake isn't 3 years younger than Bella in _this _story, just 2. ;) ]**

**Reviews are better than Emmett wearing a purple princess sash! :D**


	20. Uncertain Antidotes

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my loving beta, for understanding why I put this one up without you! I wanted you to be surprised.  
Please don't hate me, I love you, and wanted you to have a fun shock too! You're not being replaced or anything, I swear it! ;)  
And you're welcome to annoy me and ask me all the questions on AIM later... haha.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Part ONE/TWO.  
Night one of the parental visit.**

**Ohhhhh and the plot thickens.  
Esme. Phil. James. Triggers. Jake. Feelings. Confusion. Revelations... Decisions.  
Not to mention all the hellacious details that are revealed in this chapter. ;) Sorry for the lack of certain POVs, but no worries, they'll be made up for soon! **

_**This is one of those chapters that you hold your breath when you post... Important AN on the bottom!**_

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**Looking back at me I see that I never really got it right.  
I never stopped to think of you.  
I'm always wrapped up in things I cannot win.  
You are the antidote that gets me by...  
Something strong, like a drug that gets me ...high.  
What I really meant to say is I'm sorry for the way I am.  
I never meant to be so cold to you.**_

_**Crossfade, "Cold"**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty: Uncertain Antidotes**

**BellaPOV **

The bedroom seemed emptier. Not as comforting.

Not my new "home" anymore. This place was now foreign.

I remained sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking unsteadily, and placed my head in my hands.

My entire body was trembling, my face was heated, and I couldn't control the sobs escaping through my throat.

My frame was clenched tight, and I was unable to catch my breath.

Opening my swollen eyes, I stared down to the wooden floors, watching tear drops fall and burst as they hit, splattering clear circles along the edges of my jeans.

It hurt so bad... every single thing...

My body, my brain, my stomach, my heart...

The truth, the lies, the fantasies, the ideas...

Everyone, every thing...

It all just... _hurt_.

My ribs felt like they were going to cut my heart and lungs open. I was wound too tightly in distraught.

The mattress moved a little, and my body grew more achy, as the opposite side of the bed gained more weight. I could hear movement around me, and some more unsteady breathing... and this time, it must be from Edward.

Wiping my right side of my face, I turned to my right, to find Edward, with his head in his hands as well.

His elbows were resting on his knees, and his legs were shaking a mile a minute, bouncing his head up and down between his palms. His eyes were sealed shut, and tears were falling from his face as well.

It made me hurt worse.

Gasping for air, I shut my eyes again, allowing more tears to fall.

...I don't know how long we sat there.

...I can't remember how everything suddenly turned this bad.

One minutes we were flying, as happily as have ever been... and now, we're sitting still, and numb to the world.

My chest caved further, and another sob escaped my throat.

I felt so exhausted of the day, and all of the events that played through.

So many things, so many decisions, so many shocking moments... all crashed into us in the last twenty-four hours.

It just goes to show you, no matter how you roll with the punches... if someone's aiming at your head, they're eventually going to hit you.

And we got hit hard.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my neck up, staring around the fuzzy, dim room.

Then I turned to face Edward, watching him sit up, through my swollen, red eyes.

He looked at me, and frowned.

It took a few hard swallows before I could even form a word.

And all that could come out, from my thick and raspy throat was a bare weakened whisper of, "...Edward... What are we going to do?"

* * *

**~~THE PREVIOUS NIGHT~~**

**EdwardPOV**

Seeing four adults walk through the door of the cabin just shattered every thought in my head.

I couldn't even contemplate it.

The first person I saw was my father Carlisle, whom I glared at with all the pissed off expression I could muster. _For some one who just called me and told me that you'd be seeing me soon... well this isn't soon, Dad, this is right fucking now._

I wasn't prepared for this shit. It felt like a God damned stampede.

And Carlisle looked like he was ten seconds away from passing out from the breath he was holding.

Inhaling, I spoke, "Hey... mom, dad. Hello Renee and Phil."

Everyone around me was silent, as my mother Esme bounced her eyes from Bella to myself, then back to Bella again.

And that was when I realized, I wasn't even holding Bella's hand anymore.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid._

Taking another breath, I stepped back toward her, and gripped her hand tightly.

"Well," my mother said as the same time she exhaled, "hello... everyone."

"Hey," everyone behind me muttered, still not moving.

I swear you could hear fucking crickets outside.

Renee was the first to move, shaking herself out of her own stupor, until she headed toward Bella.

Bella quickly dropped my hand, hugging her mother tightly, "Hey... mom, what are you doing here?"

"I live here, Bella," Renee chuckled, stealing an awkward glance at me.

"I know, but you and Phil aren't supposed to be here until Sunday... you know... after we're all _gone_."

"I know, but Phil sprained his ankle when we were in Europe, a few days ago, so we came home a few days early, so he could give it a chance to heal privately, before practice starts up again for him."

My parents began hugging everyone around us, saving Bella and I for last.

"Well," Rosalie chuckled, climbing out of her seat to hug her step-mother, "you guys could have called. What if we were all having sex or like an orgy or something?"

"Thank God you weren't," Carlisle said as he gave me a knowing _I'm sorry_ look, pulling me into a brief hug.

I slapped him hard on the back, much more needed for an embrace like this, then muttered, "what the fuck?" in his ear.

He patted me more gently, before releasing me and speaking loudly to not look obvious, "your mother and I took the week off, and Renee called and asked us if we wanted to meet up with them. We're not planning to stay here at the cabin, no worries everyone... They just wanted to gather some of their things out of the bedroom, and then the four of us plan to stay at the Hilton for the remainder of the week."

"Good," Rosalie muttered as Renee gave Jake a big hug.

"Well, Bella," my mother said, giving her a hug, "how are you dear?"

"Good, Esme... thank you," Bella looked up at me, over my mother's shoulder, and I smiled tenderly at her. _It's going to be okay._

I watched her suck in some breath and then put on a smile as my mother pulled away from her.

Then Esme turned to me, "come here my handsome man."

I rolled my eyes, giving her a warm hug, "how you been, mom?"

"Good, good, thank you. My goodness you're getting so tall, I can't even hardly get my arms around you anymore!"

I picked her up off the ground, squeezing her tighter, "Yeah, it happens sometimes."

I sat her back down, and she dusted my shirt a little, "I'm going to have to cut down your legs so you're back to my height."

"Please don't," I chuckled, "I may need them one day."

"Just leave his third leg the same height," Emmett teased as he hugged my dad.

I turned and swallowed, looking over to Phil, Bella's step-father.

I hadn't really spoken to him since the break up...

Or more less, since that one particular night after the big break up.

_**FLASH!~~~**_

_"Bella, please, just talk to me for a moment," I begged, pulling her back away from her bedroom door. "Please?"_

_"Why?" she said, slapping my hands from her hips, "I have nothing to say to you."_

_"I know you're upset, but I'm begging you, just hear me out-"_

_"I don't have to hear you out, Edward," she said, pushing me back, "I've heard you loud and clear."_

_"Bella, please, keep your voice down," I whispered, pulling her to me by her shirt, "five minues, that's all I'm asking for."_

_"You'd better get out, Edward. This isn't my dad's house. Phil's bedroom is right next door, and if he hears you, you've got three stories to tumble down, and not just two."_

_"Bella," I said, exasperated. "I'm sorry... for everything. I don't know how else to say it, but I'm just fucked up, _I _fucked up, and I am trying to tell you how sorry I am for everything."_

_She shook her head, glaring at me, "You keep saying you're sorry, but it's not about what you _say_, Edward... It's what you _do_. And you cheat on me with Tanya, okay, fine, I got heartbroken. Then you try to talk me back into a relationship, and after such a long time of you begging, I say, 'okay, we're going to give it another shot', because I was missing you too... And then, not even an entire day after that, you say, 'um... Bella, I don't think this is going to work out'... What the fuck, Edward? What do you want me to think here?"_

_"It's just," I started, shaking my head, "it's everyone around us that's fucking me up. They're comments, they're stares, the rumors, the gossip... It's too much to handle, I couldn't even think straight in class today. I failed my midterm, I couldn't answer questions correctly, I-I-"_

_"You're going to have to stop pleasing everyone else, Edward, and do what you want to do. You knew this was going to happen when you asked me out again! This is high school!"_

_"I didn't know it was going to be this bad," I said, shaking my head, "I had no fucking idea!"_

_"Well..." she scoffed, hands on hips as she backed away from me, "you do now."_

_I watched as tears fell down her face, but she stubbornly swiped them away, "Just get out, Edward. I don't want you here anymore. I just... I don't want you."_

_"Bella, please," I whispered, trying to grab her body again, "I know you don't mean that."_

_"PHIL!" she shouted, slapping my hands back. "Phil, come here! NOW!"_

_"Bella," I said, shaking my head, "stop, please. Please, just stop, don't get him to come in here."_

_"Get out, Edward."_

_"No."_

_"Get out."_

_"You're not going to make me get out, Bella. Not til... Not until you talk to me, until we can make this right... Until you can forgive me."_

_She glowered at me, wiping more tears. Then she shouted on the top of her lungs, "PHIL!! Edward is in my room, he snuck up here, and he won't GET OUT!"_

_Three seconds later, the door was almost broken off it's hinges, as her step-father came pounding into the bedroom, "Edward Cullen, you better get the hell out of my daughter's room."_

_I stared at him, trying to hold my ground, "I'm not leaving."_

_"Like hell you aren't."_

_"You can't make me leave," I said, glaring over at a crying Bella, as her mother cradled her head, "she and I need to talk."_

_Before I could react, Phil grabbed me by the back of my neck, and slammed me against the nearest wall, my cheek crushed against some picture of Bella and I from the last homecoming dance, "you need to learn who you're fucking talking to, son. This is _my _house, and that is _my _daughter, not your _girlfriend _any longer, and you will _not _dictate how she will or will not live her life. Do you got that?"_

_"Phil! Don't hurt him!" Renee shouted._

_Phil eventually loosened his grip on my neck, and I stumbled backward, re-situating my shirt, "she's not even your fucking daughter, Phil. She's _Charlie's_." Then I turned to look at my ex-girlfriend, in disbelief that she took it this far, the back to the asshole in front of me, "...and Charlie would have never fucking treated me like you just did. Even if Bella and I were having problems."_

_By the time I realized what had happened, I was laying on the ground, outside their front door. I remembered bits and pieces of trying to talk to Bella, Bella crying and reaching out to me, or to stop Phil, Renee shouting at Phil, and Phil dragging me down the steps and out the front door, not being polite as he tossed me into the grass, head first._

_"You're right, Edward, Charlie would never treat you like I do," Phil sneered at me, "but he's not here now. I am... In fact, if he were here, I'm sure he'd say he was very dissapointed in you."_

_Then he slammed the door, locked it, and called the cops. _

_And guess who picked my ass up? That's right, Billy Black, Jacob's father and Charlie's best friend. The new Cheif of Police, after Charlie's passing._

_That was not a fun car ride back to my house._

_**~~~FLASH!**_

Phil was staring back at me, keeping his hands in his pocket. Looking like the dickhead he tries too hard to portray.

I didn't know what to do, but I knew I wasn't going to let him intimidate me.

So I cleared my throat, taking a step toward him. Holding out my hand to him, I gave him a nod, "Phil."

He glared at my hand like it was a pile of shit he was being asked to eat.

Renee hit him hard in the arm, and he finally straightened up his posture, and gripped my hand rather too tightly, "Edward."

I smirked at him, craving the idea to suddenly strip Bella down and fuck her senseless on the glass coffee table right in front of him. Repeatedly. With no glove. Ever. And for an encore, stare at his face while she licks it dry afterward.

Of course, I'd never ever fucking do it, not because it wouldn't be fun -- because seeing his face would be priceless -- but because I'd never disrespect Bella like that.

But fuck. It's the idea that counts.

Besides that, being around him just turns me right back into that fucking asshole I was for the past four and a half years, before Bella came back into my life.

Before I decided I needed to straighten my ass out a bit.

"Okay!" Rosalie shouted, jumping between us, "Daddy, you haven't hugged me yet. And loosen up the grip on Edward, please. His knuckles are white."

Phil did release me, but kept daggers shooting at my forehead.

I smirked cockily at him, standing tall. _I'm not seventeen years old anymore, asshole. Push me into the wall now, bitch._

Bella's hand on my back startled me, and snapped me out of my momentary rage.

I turned, curling my arm behind her, and placing my hand on her hip, "hey."

Jake and Emmett brought the dad's some beers, while Renee went to gather some of their things from the bedroom.

We all moved toward the den, and I pulled Bella down on my knee, despite my mother's glances and Phil's disgust.

Bella seemed tense and hyperly stiff as she sat, unable to remove her gaze from Esme.

It made me wonder if she even remembered the fight that Phil and I had, or even realized that Phil obviously hasn't changed his opinion about me either.

"So," Esme said, smiling at me, "may I ask where Tanya is?"

"We killed her," Alice said, as she handed my mother a cup of hot coffee. "Rosalie burned her body, and Jasper buried her behind the house."

"Funny," Phil scoffed, eyeing me down.

I smiled at him, massaging the small of Bella's back. "Tanya's not here anymore, mom. We've parted ways."

"Parted ways?" she asked. "How so?"

"Well, we were never _together_-together," I explained. "She simply couldn't accept that fact."

"Well after you have sex with a girl for years and years, she's bound to want commitment," Phil interjected.

"Phil," Bella warned, "please."

"Well, it's odd to see you here with... Bella," Esme began again. "What is new with you, my dear?"

"Just work, mainly," Bella tentatively smiled, squeezing my knee tight, "and bills."

"You look very stunning," Carlisle said, smiling warmly at her, "it's amazing to remember you when you were that shy fifteen year old girl who fell out of trees in my back yard."

Bella giggled, shaking her head, "you're never going to let me live that down, are you?"

"Never," my father teased.

"W-Where's Jasper?" Renee asked, looking from Bella and myself.

Bella took a deep breath, glancing over at Alice, "Jasper is sick, mom."

"Sick? How so?" Carlisle asked.

"He's just got a tummy virus," Alice explained, "nothing too serious. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"It's from all the sex him and Alice has been having," Emmett teased.

This confused both Renee and Phil, as they gawked at Bella. "So," Renee teased, shaking her head in confusion, "you and Jasper..."

"Nope," Bella shook her head, "just friends."

"But I thought-" Phil attempted to interject.

"No Phil. We're just friends. In fact... Alice and Jasper hit it off really well."

Alice smiled at Bella, "he's wonderful. Like something out of a dream."

"Fucking cheese-balls," Emmett said, scoffing as he threw away his bottle and handed me and Carlisle another one.

"So..." Renee said, looking toward me, "what's with the... reunion? Are you two a ...couple now?"

Both Bella and myself pulled our lips into tight lines, trying to figure out how to avoid the question completely.

"We-We're, uh,..." Bella stammered, looking down to her hands, bouncing her leg above mine, "um..."

"We're happy," I said, taking a deep breath and smiling at our interrogators, "very happy."

"Hmm," Phil said, nodding his head, "do you think that is a suitable title for our daughter? Just... _happy_?"

"It's suitable for me," Bella said.

"Edward?" Esme asked, looking over at me with wide eyes, "Answer Phil please."

"Maybe he doesn't feel he has to provide an answer," Rosalie shrugged in defense to me, giving me a warm smile. "Maybe they're just happy... being."

Bella nodded, "we are."

"There's still a lot of things that have gone unanswered," my father countered. "Years of past troubles."

"We're working through them," I said through my teeth, glaring at him pointedly. _You know this all ready._

"Yes, well... Forgive me if I seem stunned-"

"We," Phil said, interjecting my mother, "We seem stunned..."

"But," Esme continued, "this is all very shocking. Did any of you know about this?"

All the adults shrugged, except for my father, who could never lie to her. _Fucking dick._ "Carlisle? Carlisle did you know?"

Carlisle looked at me, while he answered her, "Edward may have told me a couple weeks ago about them coming up here together."

"But they didn't plan this," Alice stated, "it just... happened. Trust us, no one planned for the things that have happened here."

"It doesn't matter," Phil stated, staring at Bella, "what matters is what is going on in the present. This -- you and Edward -- are a shock to us. We, as your parents, have maintained a close friendship, despite the two of your troubles, but this doesn't make your decision to reunite any easier on us."

"No offense," I said, because this interrogation was starting to piss me off, "but we don't owe any of you an explanation. We're not thirteen years old."

"Well you're not acting like your twenty-three, either."

"Excuse me?" I said, tempted to rise off the chase and punch Bella's step-father in his face, "You don't fucking know me."

"Edward, please," Bella said, massaging me leg.

"No, Bella, I'm sorry and I mean no disrespect to anyone else, but you don't fucking know me anymore, Phil."

"By your language... I'd say I still know you pretty well."

"Wait, wait, wait, let's all calm down," Carlisle said, standing up and setting his beer bottle on the table, "Look, Edward. Apologize."

"Fuck that."

"Edward. Now."

I glared at my father, shaking my head. I respected him, but he wasn't about to make commands to me.

"Edward," Esme said, giving me a solemn sad look that about broke my heart, "...please."

Swallowing my pride, I gawked at Phil, "My apologies."

He smirked, shaking his head, muttering, "same Edward Cullen to me."

_Same fucking dickhead to me, too._

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

As the interrogation seemed to edge on for hours, my sister and Edward looked more and more like they were on trial.

Clearing my throat, I grabbed Bella's hand, pulled her off Edward's leg, and drug her into the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at me, staring back into the den, "Don't make me leave him in there with the sharks!"

"You need to talk to Edward," I glared at her. "Get some level ground. Talk about what's going on, that way you two are more prepared."

"I will," she said, jerking her hand from me, "in due time."

"It _is _due time, Bella. If you and Edward are going to make a real shot at this, then it's got to happen."

She looked at me, bouncing on her toes, "I... can't."

"You have to."

"Easy for you to say! This is terrifying, Rose. What if I scare him away?"

"Well," I said, looking at the floor, "you and I have to both... you know... first... and then I think you should... tell him. Talk to him."

"Rose," she said, taking a staggard breath, "I can't."

"You need to," I said quietly through my teeth, as Jacob entered the kitchen.

He was wearing only a wife-beater, some dark jeans, and a metallic belt, making sure for me to notice his chiseled features, such as those pecks, those arms, that goatee... dark lashes... _Stop it, Rose._

"What do you need to do?" he asked, lighting his cigarette up.

"Nothing," Bella said, jerking the cigarette from his mouth and tossing it in the sink. "Jake, please don't smoke in front of Phil in this house. He'll kill us."

"Please," Jake said, laughing as he lit another cigarette, "Phil love me long time."

"Still," I said, slapping him playfully on the chest and pulling that one from his mouth and tossing it in the sink with the other one, "we don't need to fire anyone up anymore than they all ready are."

"Jesus," he said, holding his hands up in the air, "feisty ass women. I'll go outside. Anyone want to smoke?"

Before he left, he ran his hands along Bella's face in a teasing motion, then winked at me.

Edward and Emmett ran after Jake, pulling their cigarettes out as well, while Jasper haggardly walked down stairs, "what in the hell is all the commotion about?"

He passed by me, giving Renee a hug, "Hey mom."

I smiled at Bella, then at them. Jasper always called our mom 'mom', ever since they met three years ago.

"Hey buddy, how are you?"

"Fine, what are ya'll doing here?"

"Just grabbing some things, having a few beers with everyone, then we're on our way."

"Cool," he said, giving Alice a hug, before lifting her tiny body up and sitting her down on his lap.

"You look like you're feeling better," she said, rubbing his hair.

"A little."

I turned back to Bella, making sure no one can hear us, "Come on. The guys aren't around, we'll... just do it together."

"No..."

"Bella. Yes."

"I can't."

"Dammit, Bella, I can't do it for you."

"Rose..."

"It's not like you're the only one who's in a jam here, Bella. Me too. You know... Jake?"

Bella groaned, pulling her head back to look at the light in the kitchen, "I don't want to lose him."

"Give Edward some credit," I said, scoffing at her, "he's a pretty damn good guy. Plus... hello... career choice. Do you really think th-"

"It's different, Rose," she said, swallowing hard. "Besides... I don't even think... I am."

"Then do it for me. Please?"

She sighed, looking to the ground, "I have to talk to him, don't I?"

I nodded, "it would be wise."

She bit her top lip, rubbing the back of her neck, "...okay."

"Okay?" I asked, rubbing her arms.

"Yeah... okay."

"...Okay," I said, pulling her to me and giving her a tight hug, "It's going to be all right, Bella. This won't change you and Edward."

"I hope so," she replied faintly.

We spent the next thirty minutes lightening up the conversation with the rentals.

Edward sat next to Bella after the guys came back from their smoke breaks, remaining mostly silent.

Emmett sat away from me as possible, hardly even looking my way.

It sucked, because I couldn't go up to my step-mom and say, 'Hey mom, here's my boyfriend, Emmett... I believe you guys met in High School.'.

Now all I could say is, 'Hey mom, this is the guy I fucked over because I'm stupid and moronic. You remember Emmett, right?'.

_Yeah... That'd be brilliant._

Eventually, the parents stood up and gave all of us hugs goodbye.

We agreed to meet them in town tomorrow for a big lunch.

It made me so thrilled to know they weren't staying here with us while we were here... and I prayed that their showing up didn't put a damper on the moods with us. We all were about to be heading back to work in a few days, and the last thing we needed was to be pissy with each other until then. We were all grown ups here. We could handle the rental units.

I watched as Esme and Bella hugged, Bella about freaking out on the inside, Esme looking just as uncomfortable...

Edward offered to shake Phil's hand again, but my stubborn father refused.

Once they left, Edward fell backward, collapsing sideways on the couch, "fucking finally."

"My God!" Emmett said, running and jumping on the love seat, "I felt like we were all in trouble for doing drugs."

"Thank God they didn't smell that weed on you," Jake laughed, causing the other guys to chuckle.

"Wait, what?" Bella said, standing up. "You all smoked out there? Like smoke-smoked?"

"Yep!" Emmett shouted, laughing.

My sister turned, glaring down the love of her life, "...Edward?"

"Yes," he asked, throwing his arms behind his back, his voice as rusky as all the rest of the guys, "love?"

She put her hands on her hips, shaking her head, "...I cannot believe you smoked tonight."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because! Hello, parents here! Your mom hates me, Phil's not happy with you! Why one earth would you give them more of a reason?"

"Bella," he chuckled, rubbing his stomach, "I'm not ten. I'll do what I want."

"Oh, that's smart," she hissed at him.

Then she turned and glared at me, with an expression that read, _Do you see what I have to put up with?!_

I shrugged my shoulders at her, thinking, _You picked him, Bella._

"Bella," he said, sitting up, grabbing her arm, and gently tugging her to lay down on top of him, "please don't go all demanding on me. Please don't."

"I'm not," she said, burying her face in his chest, in frustration, "but couldn't you have just waited until they left?"

"Everyone else was doing it, Bella. Regardless of if I smoked or not, the weed would have still been around."

She growled into his navy blue t-shirt, "Grrrr."

"Grrrr what?"

"Just... _Grrrr_."

He lifted his head, looking over at Emmett and Jacob, as if asking, _What the fuck?_

Emmett and Jake just laughed at him, but stopped short when they saw me glaring at them disapprovingly._ Stupid guys._

Jasper stood up, stretching, "I cannot believe you guys fucking smoked without me."

"Want some?" Jake asked, taking a sip of his beer.

"Yep."

"Ugh, Jazz!" Alice groaned, squeezing a pillow between her legs, "Please, you just got to feeling better."

"Didn't you hear?" Emmett chuckled as he and Jake began to pull Jasper into the kitchen and out the back door, "Weed is a cure-all for pain and sickness."

"Whatever," the three of us girls hissed at them.

"Edward, you coming?"

Edward took one look at Bella's disapproving face, and shook his head, laying back and throwing his arm over his eyes, "No. I'm baked enough."

"Fucking pussy whipped bitch!" Emmett shouted, tossing a plastic cup at him.

"Quit it," Edward said, not removing his arm from his eyes.

"Come on, just come out here with us," Jake said, which really confused me because _when did Edward and Jake suddenly start getting along?? _ "We promise we won't make you smoke with us."

Edward groaned, shaking his head, "Can't do it, guys."

"PUSSY WHIPPED!"

"So what if he is," Bella said, tossing the cup back at Emmett, "leave him alone."

"Should we start calling you _Pussward_, Eddykins?" Emmett teased, as he playfully began to rub his nipples over his shirt.

Jake and Jasper began making cracking whip noises, while Emmett ran over and rubbed Edward's hair, "Come on, come out with us."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"YES!"

"No fucker!"

"I NEED TO TALK TO EDWARD!" Bella shouted, suddenly sitting up to a straddle position on him.

All the guys froze, then Emmett went back to his snarky attitude, "Bella, I promise, weed won't make his dick shrivel. It'll still be a soldier when we get back inside."

"No," she said, glaring at him. "Now."

Again, they cracked the whip on Edward, laughing as they went out the door.

Edward sat up on his elbows, glaring at Bella, "what's up?"

"What did you want to talk to me about earlier?"

"My dad called, stating that he may be seeing us all here soon. I guess he thought that they were going to see us Sunday when we were about to leave, but instead, they showed up tonight."

"Was that it?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"Why?" he asked, rubbing her thighs suggestively, "What did you think I was going to tell you?"

"I... wasn't sure."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

"So," I said, looking over at Emmett and Jake as we stood out on the freezing balcony, "what have I missed?"

"A whole fucking lot," Emmett said through a gust of wind, passing the joint to Jake.

"Like what?" I asked, taking a sip of beer. _My god it tasted so good after being sick all fucking day._

"Like... I think that Rose and I are fucking done for good."

"Really?" I asked, taking a hit after Jake passed it to me. "Why?"

"Well, after our talk at the bar, I ended things with her. And she's hardly said anything to me since then and I just... I don't know, I don't see her that way now. It's sad, but I look at her now, and I'm just _disgusted _that I let myself get that deep with a girl I hardly knew."

"What the fuck do you mean by 'disgusted'?" Jake asked harshly. "She's a good girl, Emmett."

"Maybe to you," Emmett scoffed. "In fact, you _would _know, wouldn't you, Jake?"

"Calm down," I said, standing between them. "Straighten up."

Jake shook his head, taking another hit before passing it to Emmett, "...I'm sorry if Rose and I bothers you, Emmett. But she played me too, in a way, and I'm not over there fucking dwelling on it. She fucked up, shit happens, who the fuck cares, you know? I care for the girl enough to not let it bother me for eternity."

Emmett shook his head, "I just... I'm not you, Jake."

"No one is," he replied cockily.

"I let my guard down with her, and we all see where it got me:... Fucked."

"Shit happens," Jake shrugged, passing the joint to me, "then we die. So I figure, we may as well have some fun in the mean time?"

"But, don't you ever just want to fuckin' chill and relax with someone?" I asked Jake, "You know, calm down a bit?"

"Sure," he replied, shrugging nonchalantly, "but shit don't always happen the way you plan."

I smirked, "Yeah, well sometimes you just have to go and get it."

They both turned and gawked at me stupidly, while Emmett said, "Okay Dr. fucking Phil."

I scowled at them, "you know what I mean."

"Jesus fucking Christ, your as pussy-whipped as Edward is."

"I am not," I declined, rounding my shoulders, "I just... I'm over the fucking chase."

"Not me," Emmett sighed, "...The chase is too much fun."

"Sometimes," Jake half-agreed.

"Hey, not to sound all fucking girly, but how many girls have you fucked, Jake?"

Jake turned, looking over at Emmett, "that _is _pretty girly."

"Just tell me. I'll tell you my number. Around 17 now."

"Actually fucked?"

"Yeah."

"Like, not just foreplay, but actually-"

"Yes."

Jake sighed, "I've had completely consensual, safe sex, with about twenty girls Only one of them meant more to me that just a fuck though... sad as that sounds."

"Where is she now?" Emmett teased.

"...Around."

"What about you, Jasper?" Emmett asked.

I shrugged, "I don't know, like six."

"Damn, Jake, you're the whore here."

"What about Edward?" Jake asked, turning to peer through the kitchen window at Edward and Bella, who were cuddling on the couch.

"I think he's fucked like seven chicks. But he's fooled around with _countless _women."

"What do you mean by 'fooled around'?" I asked them, drinking more of my beer.

They both turned and gawked at me, again.

"Oh," I chuckled. "Oh. Wow. _Damn_."

"And then you wonder why we all didn't go into his profession," Jake chuckled. "Dammit."

"No fucking shit." Emmett laughed, "Edward once met a girl, she was his first assistant, when he started under-shadowing his Senior OB-GYN. She was only like eighteen years old or something. Fucking big blue eyes, long blonde hair, tight ass bangin' body... The same day, he came home and was like, 'Dude, she's a virgin. I have such a damn crush on her... I've got to have it.' Her name was like... Aimee or something. He spent like, two weeks pursuing her ass. I mean, hard core! And she had a boyfriend on top of it! He started like, sending her flowers, buying her lunch and shit. I mean, working the suaveness big time."

Emmett shook his head, continuing his story, "I remember meeting him for lunch, and he was wearing his fucking whole doctor's gear, white robe, stethoscope, all that shit... girls just ate that shit up. And he was stroking the underside of her chin, leaning over her desk... My God, it was pathetic. I had a good laugh about it... Long story short, I came over to his and Alice's apartment, and I have a key, so I just let myself in... I fucking walked in on that shit... I mean, Edward had her bent over the fucking couch."

"What?" I asked, laughing.

"Yeah, it was great! She wasn't a virgin anymore! And I just like froze, I didn't know what to do. He quickly covered her up, took in the bedroom, fucking finished that shit, and then sent her on her way shortly after. Then he came out to me and says, 'Hey man, thanks for showing up, I didn't know how in the hell I was going to get her to leave afterward.'"

Jake and I were laughing pretty hard now. "I knew he was like that," I said, shaking my head. "I knew he was that type of guy."

"So, what about her boyfriend?" Jake asked, taking a hit.

"She fell for Edward, I guess, and told her boyfriend they needed to break up. Ed took her on a few dates, but he told me it was boring, because he couldn't chase her anymore. So he ended it."

"Ha!" I chuckled, rubbing my stomach, "Priceless."

"That was Edward... you know, before he got bitch-whipped."

"Think he'll stick this one out?" Jake asked Emmett.

Em shrugged, stealing the joint from me, "guess we'll see... I mean, I think he will. But Edward always tends to surprise."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward was rubbing my back, while I lay above him on the couch.

I listened to his heart beating slowly beneath my ear, while his hands began to massage beneath my shirt... heading toward my pants.

Opening my eyes, I felt his fingers dip under the inside of them. I popped my head up, glaring at him.

He slowly opened one eye, and grinned devilishly at me, "what?"

"You know what."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hands. On ass cheeks. Under my panties."

"Do you like it?" he teased, giving me a tight squeeze and massage.

"Oh yes," I joked, "I love it when you squeeze my ass in front of your best friend and my sister."

"Mmm," he said, dipping his hands lower... fingers almost... _there_, "...good."

Instantly, I felt my stomach knot uncomfortably, and I stat up so straddle him, removing hs hands from the back of my pants, "Are you always horny when you're high?"

"Yes," he smiled at me honestly.

I shook my head, trying not to smile at him.

"Wanna... you know... cure my ache?" he asked, licking his lips as he began to shift me against his body for friction.

"Edward..." I said, grabbing his wrists tightly, "...please stop."

"Bella, what's the matter with you?" he asked, sitting up on his elbows, "You're acting so strange now that the parents left."

"Well," I scoffed, placing his hands down on the couch, "I just don't want you groping me in front of everyone."

"I was only teasing you, Angel."

"Still."

"Okay," he said, "fine. I won't grope you anymore. I didn't mean any harm."

"Sure."

He glared at me, and I didn't like it. It made my stomach knot tighter.

"You're mood swings are freaking me out a little," he said uncomfortably. "I don't like it."

For some reason, this upset me, and I gave him more of an evil eye, "Well, I'm sorry if I can't make you happy all the time, Edward. You know, sometimes, I'm just having a bad day or a bad moment, and I can't constantly be your fucking sunshine, and your fucking rainbows, and your fu-"

"Whoa, whoa," he said, raising his hands in the air as he sat up beneath me, "slow your role, woman."

Again, I glared at him.

"Jesus," he said, shaking his head.

I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling stupid, but threatened somehow.

"You know what? Just get off me if you're going to act like that."

Now that hurt my feelings, because Edward doesn't really talk to me like that. I knew my jaw dropped down to the ground.

Defensive Edward was here now, and it was my fault. _Go figure._

"I mean it," he said, lifting me in the air. He stood up, plopping me back down on the couch before he walked away, "I was just trying to fucking joke around with you, Bella. Damn."

I swallowed hard, feeling really hurt as I clutched the neclace between my fingers tightly. I watched him grab a beer, throw on his jacket, and step outside iwth the guys, slamming the door hard on his way out. Then I turned to Rose, my chin quivering, "what's wrong with me?"

She sighed, walking over to sit down beside me, as Alice looked stunned, sitting on the floor.

"Alice," she said, as she rubbed my leg, "can you give me and Bella a moment?"

"Sure," Alice nodded, standing up, "I'll just... be upstairs."

After she left, Rosalie turned to me, "Bella, what was that all about?"

"I don't know," I groaned, throwing my head back on the couch, "I just suddenly felt threatened and turned into a bitch on him. I know he's being rude because he's drinking and high, and pissed that the parents showed up, but I just... blew up at him. I don't get it."

"Bella," she sighed, scooting closer to me, "...I think you're pregnant."

"Rose, I'm n-"

"No Bella. I really... _really _think you are."

I sighed, throwing my hands into my palms, "I can't be."

"But I think you are."

"Please stop."

"You need to make up with Edward. Talk to him, Bella. He's a fucking professional at this shit. Tell him, you're going to have to tell him."

"What if I just get an abortion?" I spat out, not thinking about my words.

Rose glared at me, leaning back a bit, "don't you fucking say that shit, Bella."

I sighed, slumping over, "I know. I'm sorry. I'd never do that... I just... God, I just don't want to fucking lose him, Rose. I just got him back."

"It's going to be okay," she said, pulling me in her arms, "it is... Do you want me to go get him? So you have support?"

I nodded, wiping my traitor tears away. _Damn hormones._

"Okay... I'll go get him. Stay here."

I nodded again, clutching my throat between my fingers. I suddenly felt like throwing up.

Edward came in, and stood in front of me, hands in his pockets, "Bella... I'm sorry that I went off on you."

"Me too," I whispered faintly, staring down at his shoes. "I'm sorry."

He knelt in front of me, tucking my hair behind my ears, "...there was something else I want to talk to you about... Wanna go upstairs?"

I nodded, wiping away tears beneath my swollen eyes.

He scooped me up in his arms, tossing me playfully over his shoulder. "Thanks Rose."

"No problem."

Once we were in the bedroom, Edward sat me on the bed, kneeling before me there. He swallowed hard, shaking his head as he gathered my hands in his.

I titled my head, sniffling, as I wiped some of his stray hairs back from his forehead.

He appeared nervous. I didn't like it.

"Bella," he started, sighing, "there's something that I've kept from you, that I shouldn't have... and I'm really, really worried about how you'll react when I tell you."

"W-What is it?"

He placed his forehead in my lap, shaking his head.

I scratched through his hair, then began to massage his shoulders, "What? Edward, what is it?"

He seemed so hesitant as he lifted his head, "All right... you're not going to like it, but I really want you to know... That way there's no secrets between us."

"Okay..."

He pulled in his lips, choosing his words carefully, "do you... remember when you told me about... James?"

I swallowed and gave him a slight nod.

"Well... what you told me... it, uh, it really broke my heart, see? I mean, it _furiated _me. I felt like it was my fault and-"

"Edward, why would you think that?" I asked.

"Please," he replied gently, holding up a hand, "please let me finish."

"All right."

He inhaled again, looking up at me, "I felt like it was my fault, because you and I had broken up. I felt if we never broken up, you wouldn't have been in the position to have fallen for his bullshit, and thefor, you wouldn't have... been hurt, the way you did."

His face looked so tortured, it pained me to see him so distraught. And hearing about James, that only made me feel more nauseated.

"And... well... I couldn't shake it off. I mean, I'm not saying that I've never been a prick, because I have. I've hooked up with girls and not called them the next day... I've put up challenges when it comes to women... but I would never, ever put my hands on a female like that, you know? I'd never, ever fucking treat them the way that he... treated you."

I frowned at him, "I know you wouldn't."

"Yeah... well... it affected me so much, that... I sort of decided to do something about it."

I furrowed my brows at him, "Edward, what are you talking about?"

He haggardly rose to his feet, shoving his hands in his jean pockets as he took a step back from me, "Bella... I set him up."

"Huh?" I asked. "Edward, you're not making sense."

"I know," he sighed, shaking his head, "...Bella, I set him up. I... sort of weaseled my way in order to trap him into... meeting me... here."

"What?" I demanded, rising to my feet, "When? How?"

He stared at me, still looking painfully numb.

Then all the words came tumbling out of his mouth, "It upset me so much, that I talked to my boys about backing me up. Then I lied to Alice, told her to create some kind of contest, to make him believe that he won a trip down here to meet a secret crush. It was that night of the party, the night that you saw me with the blonde, the night that you and I almost... had sex in the garage. It was that night. I set it all up, made sure you weren't going to be in the vicinity of the same room as him... And then my guys led him in the garage, and I confronted him with it... Well, actually I did more than confront him... I beat the holy fuck out of him. I mean, I just fucked his world all up... I couldn't stop. I blacked out and raged on him. I almost killed him, and I wanted to, but then I saw your face in my head, and knew you'd never fucking forgive me if I did, and I couldn't risk losing you, so I just made sure he wasn't going to call the fucking cops, and I sent him on his way afterward. And I'm sorry that I kept it from you, but I knew you'd freak out, and I was so afraid of losing you. But that's why I was all scraped up and bruised that night that ... you and I, we made love. That was why, and I'm sorry if I hurt you by going behind your back."

He stumbled forward a bit, his lips moving as if he was about to say something else, but he stopped himself.

All I could do was stare at him.

I couldn't even comprehend what he just told me at first.

We stood still, staring at each other, chests heaving heavily -- him from talking so fast for so long, and me for just... being in here and hearing it.

Once a single tear fell straight from my eyes and onto the floor, my throat clenched shut, and all the anger washed over me.

Heavily.

I stormed toward him, my eyes growing more slant by the second.

Then I slapped him.

Harder than I've ever hit anything before in my life.

Right across his left cheek, just like I did that night in the club three weeks ago when he said he chose Tanya.

Everything that was flowing in my brain, all the words, about a mile a minute, was unable to form into sentences.

Edward stood, eyes watering almost over the brim from the intensity of my hand, inhaling unsteadily through his nose.

_He's so fucking stupid! Holy hell, is he fucking crazy?! How could he do this?!_

I slapped him again.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds, trying to maintain his composure, before opening them and looking at me.

He just fucking stood there, and took it.

That angered me.

All I could do was think, _How could you be so reckless, you dumb idiot? How could you do that!_

"Bella, I-"

His voice cut off as I slammed my hands in his chest, pushing him back.

The tears came out from my eyes and my chest went heavier, but nothing helped.

"Bella, please, I-"

His eyes shut as my shoving him back cut his words off again.

"Shut up," I spat at him, pushing him into the closet. "Just shut the hell up!"

He kept his eyes closed, his chest bouncing heavier.

I tried to yell at him, to say something else, but nothing could come out.

And I grew angrier. I kept pushing on him, hard, on the chest.

I could hear slats cracking each time I pushed onto him, driving him deeper into the wooden bi-fold closet door.

It drove me further.

"Bella, stop," he whispered.

But I couldn't. "Stupid," I spat at him as I continued my practical assault. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! STUPID!"

"Bella," he panted, sealing his eyes as my forces got worse. "Stop it, please."

I could barely see him, could hear the cracking all around me, could feel the amount of pressure I was thrusting upon him.

He kept trying to speak through my pushing, his words coming out in stutters from my sheer force to his lungs, "Bella, please, d-don't make me st-stop you."

Every single word out of his mouth brought my defenses up higher.

All I could think about was James.

Then Edward.

Then James. Then Edward. Then James. Then Edward.

Then James... Then James... Then James... Then James again...

James breathing in my ear... James pushing onto my hips, shoving my head down hard into the pillow... James yanking pieces of my hair out... James pulling me back to him, as my fingernails shredded the sheets apart... James slamming my face into the mirror attached to his headboard... James thrusting behind me... James flipping me around...

"Stop!" I shouted, at the same time Edward was shouting at me.

"Bella! Stop!"

"Stop! Stop! Stop it, you fucking asshole!" My vision suddenly went black, then white, then I saw James, then Edward, faster and faster, it felt like my world was just flipping out of control.

Edward grabbed my wrists, and wrestled me to the ground, to where he was on top of me, restraining me from slapping him.

"BELLA!" he shouted in my ear, holding me down, "it's me! It's Edward!"

I wrestled against him for a few moments, thrashing around on the wooden floor of my bedroom.

Then suddenly, it all came out, and I knew where I was.

I was beneath Edward... not James. And I lashed out on Edward, like he was James.

I never really thought about James after the incident... the mere mention of his name turned my stomach all the wrong ways.

So for me to honestly think about what he did.. for it all to come back at me so quickly, it _hurt_.

I held still, allowing my chest to heave beneath him.

"It's okay... just breathe," he whispered unsteadily.

"Edward," I whimpered, turning my head away from him.

I watched as his hands released my wrists, then he dug his arms beneath me, scooping me up from the middle of my back.

"It's okay, I've got you, shhhhhh..." He cradled me, sitting indian-style on the wooden floor.

Everyone in the cabin barged inside the bedroom, but I didn't see them, only heard.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Jake shouted.

"What happened?!" asked Jasper.

"Did you tell her?" Emmett demanded.

"Did she tell you?" Rosalie asked, at the same time.

"What the hell?" Alice said.

I could feel people shuffling all around us, but I held tighter to Edward's neck, praying the last ten minutes would rewind and never happen.

"I didn't mean to," I sobbed into Edward's neck, "I didn't mean to, I didn't mean to."

"What is gong on?!" Jake shouted again.

"She's fine," Edward whispered, as he rubbed my back tenderly, "everyone, I've got her."

"Did she tell you?" Rose asked again.

"Tell him what?" Alice replied.

"Did you tell her?" Emmett repeated his question.

"Did he tell her what?" Jasper asked, then said, "Did she tell him what? What the _fuck _is going on?"

"That's what I'd like to know."

"GUYS!" Edward shouted, making me wince.

"Oh my God, Edward, your face... did you get slapped again?!" Alice said, her voice aiming toward me.

"I'm fine," Edward replied, as I sobbed, "I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to."

"Did she tell you?" Rosalie asked, huffing as Edward lifted me up in the air with him.

"Guys calm down, let him talk," Emmett said.

A few minutes later, I was more composed and was able to speak. "It's not him, it was me," I explained. "I went off, and I'm so sorry Edward."

"Shhh, don't even speak of it," Edward said, brushing the hair out of my eyes. "I'm really sorry that I did what I did Bella."

"What did you do? What did she do? What is going on?" Alice asked as she rubbed my back.

Edward sighed, looking toward Emmett, "I told her."

"...Yeah?" Emmett asked, slowly sitting down on the other side of me.

"Yeah... it triggered... her thoughts of him."

Emmett slouched over, rubbing his face vigorously, "Shit man. Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry," I sobbed into Edward's ear. _I can't believe I just went off on him like that... How stupid am I?!?!_

Quickly, Jasper scooped me off of the bed, cradling my face in his chest, "Edward, is this about James?"

I could hear Edward murmur, "yes" very lightly.

Everyone kept asking questions around us, one at at time, speaking softly, and Edward anwered them calmly.

Each time James's name was brought up, I winced.

I felt people passing me around, from Jasper, to Rosalie as she jerked me away from him, then back to the sanctuary of Edward's arms.

Again, I tried apologizing to him, but he'd have none of it.

He kept apologizing to me as well, between answering everyone's questions.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Eventually, after we all calmed down, we were back downstairs.

Edward offered me a beer, which I declined, choosing to curl up in his lap again.

I felt drained, of course, but all I wanted to do was never leave him again.

"It's... not that I was angry at you for what you did," I whispered in his ear, while everyone around us stayed quiet, playing cards on the floor, "it's just... I cannot believe you did that, Edward. My concern was... what if you got hurt? What if he hurt you? What if-"

"Bella, he never even hit me," Edward whispered in response. "I understand, and I'm sorry for making you hurt and wonder about that, but that's why I had my friends there. We didn't gang up on him or anything... they were only there to make sure he didn't touch me, and I didn't kill him."

"But he's so dangerous," I whimpered into his blue shirt.

"Trust me," he said, "you've never seen me as pissed off as I was that night... I'm pretty sure I scared the fuck out of him."

"This is serious," I replied, "what if I lost you?"

"You're not going to lose me. I'm right here."

"No, Edward. I don't want to hear that. Just... never, ever, _ever _do something so foolish like that again. I'll never forgive myself if it happens again, with anyone. If anyone hurts you."

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Bella."

"Edward, don't you get it?" I asked weakly as I pulled back to look at his face, "it's not about me. It's about you. I don't want you to ever get hurt... I... I lost you once. I won't be able to live through it if I lose you again. So you have to stop fighting every single person that does something stupid. Okay?"

"Yeah," he whispered, massaging the back of my neck. "I promise."

"Do you really?"

"Yes. I promise."

"Okay..." I nodded.

Suddenly, Rosalie cleared her throat, snapping my attention to her.

I knew what she was going to suggest. And she was right.

It was time that we took the test.

She held up her finger, as if saying, _One moment._

* * *

**JacobPOV**

_Ace and Queen of hearts, fucking score._

"Jake," Rosalie said, suddenly grabbing my hand, "can you come with me for a second?"

She knocked the cards out of my hand, showing everyone what I had, and ignored my cursing as she pulled me out of the room with her.

"What the fuck?" I said as she shoved me into the Grotto, closing the rock door behind her, "I was going for the straight flush!"

"Shut up, Jake, please, this is serious."

"What?" I asked, sticking my hands in my pocket.

Then I lowered my voice when I saw her face, "what is it?"

She took a deep breath, suddenly staring at the hot tub behind us.

_Oh fuck. What is it?_

I took a step toward her, lifting her chin with my index finger so she'd look me in the eyes, "Tell me."

She shuffled from foot to foot, then pursed her lips together, "I'm late, Jake."

"Huh?" I asked, because the heavy weed-beer-Edward/Bella-mixture was fucking with my head.

"I'm late... My period. I'm late to have it."

"Oh." I said, dropping my fingers from her face.

"Yeah."

I stood still for a few moments.

Then I nodded, feeling really fucking confused, as I stumbled back a bit, "Huh."

"Yeah," she repeated.

"By, uh, how long?"

She took a deep breath, "Bella and I had our period the same week. Because we live together, our periods work around each other's like clock work. It happens with most women who are at close-quarters with each other. It was exactly two weeks and one day for her, before we got here, and mine was two weeks and four days before we got here."

"So... what does that mean, exactly?"

"It means that, we got here on the 27th of December. My period end date was around the 11th, and Bella's around the 14th or 15th... So... conveniently, that means I had sex with you two weeks after my period... right around when my body is most responsive to becoming pregnant."

"And... uh... how late are you now?"

"We've been here two weeks and two days counting today. It's the 11th. So I'm about three days late, I think. Give or take."

I nodded, keeping my hands in my pocket.

She looked up at me, looking pretty fucking staggard, "I'm sorry, Jake."

"But I used a condom. Every time we did it."

"I know. Sometimes it still happens though."

"Aren't you on the pill?"

"I started a new birth control last month. My body may not be adjusted to it yet."

"But uh..." I shook my head, because I was still really fucking confused, "are you feeling like, any symptoms?"

"Not really, no. Not like Bella or anything. But I've been late about twice in my entire life, and both times were when I was really young and a virgin still."

"Wait," I said, stepping back toward her, "Bella thinks she's pregnant too?"

She scoffed, looking agitated, "No, but I think she is. She has all the symptoms plus she's late."

"Edward?"

"Yeah. But he has no idea yet."

"Wow," I whispered, looking up at the rock ceiling, "how shit can change in a matter of a couple weeks."

"I know," she said weakly.

I looked at her again and she quickly fought back her tears, clearing her face up before they fell.

I took a deep breath, sucking my lips in, "Okay."

"Huh?"

"It's, uh, it's going to be okay. We'll figure it out."

She nodded, "Bella's going to talk to Edward, and then, we're going to take the tests."

"You both bought tests?"

"I got the double pack."

"Hmm," I replied, rubbing her arms, "well... I'd rather it be with you than anyone else."

"What does that mean?" she replied, half-laughing, half-sad still.

"Well," I shrugged nonchalantly.

Then I began thinking to myself, _because I could make you happy. I could be that guy for you. I've got a steady job, I've got my own house. My own car. Your family loves me. My dad loves you._

_Because I've been in love with you for three and a half years, and it really, really dawned on me the night we slept together for the first time. It was never Bella... not since High School. _

_It's been you, Rose, and I've tried to fight it back, and I've tried to move on and be with all these girls, like Bryan, in hopes of it being just a crush._

_But it's not. No one else came close. It's you... It's always been you._

"Jake?" she asked, looking up at me with those wide beautiful fucking eyes.

I swallowed back my thoughts, squeezing her hands tight, "because I care for you. And we'd make it work if we needed to."

"Yeah," she whispered faint-like, looking down to the ground hesitantly, "...I guess."

And that's why I'd never tell her how I felt.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Bella didn't say a word as she pulled me up the steps, back to the bedroom.

She closed the door and locked it, before pulling me into the bathroom with her, and locking that door behind her as well.

"What are we doing?" I asked, looking around the room.

"I need to talk to you."

"Okay," I said, feeling nervous suddenly, "do we have to do it in the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"All right," I replied, looking at her, fearing for the worse.

_Was the James thing too much? Did she not want to be with me anymore?_

She began to pace around the room, muttering things under her breath that I couldn't hear.

She clapped her hands together, rubbing her palms harshly, "I need to tell you something, but I don't know, and I'm afraid if I _do _tell you, then it'll ruin every single thing I have fought so hard to regain with you."

I nodded slowly, sorting out different situations in my head.

"And I'm afraid if I ruin everything, then... we won't get it back this time."

She looked at me fearfully, as I leaned back against the counter top.

"...And I'm afraid you'll hate me for it."

"Bella," I sighed, closing my eyes in frustration, "would you stop. I'm not going to hate you. Ever."

"Don't be so sure," she muttered beneath her breath.

"Look, I'm sure it's not as bad as what I revealed with James," I countered, "so... just tell me."

She covered her face with her hands, breathing out of whack.

I hopped off the counter, pulling her hands down, "tell me."

She began to bounce nervously, from her heels, to her toes, to her heels, to her toes again. "Please don't hate me," she whispered.

"I don't," I reassured her for the umpteenth time.

"Please promise you'll love me after I tell you."

"I do, I promise."

She began popping her knuckles fiestly, zoning out toward my shirt.

"Bella?" I asked, lifting her face between my hands.

"Huh?"

"What is it?"

She began to bounce again, making me _more _nervous.

The intensity and hesitation ... the fucking suspense was _killing _me.

She took a deep, long breath, then pursed her lips.

"What?" I asked softly, caressing her cheeks.

She looked into my eyes for a few moments, contemplating her response.

Her answer came out in a mere, weak, faint little whisper, "...I think I'm pregnant."

My eyes grew wide, and I felt myself sort of lock up somehow, hands on her face, standing in front of her.

I turned into a God-damn ice sculpture.

I don't even think I was breathing.

It felt like my neck had rusted as I tried to tilt it to my left a little, forcing my brain to work.

_Think... Think Edward... Say something before she fucking freaks out._

I watched as tears began to form in her wide, expectant eyes.

Then, like a tsunami, it all came and hit me in the face...:

Seeing her when she was fifteen years old for that first day in Biology class, thinking about her while I was alone, thinking about her practically every single day... asking her to be my girlfriend, walking through the halls with her, watching her show up to my baseball games...

Falling in love with her, our stupid random fights, the night we almost had sex here when we were eighteen..

The break up, graduation, the heart ache, my stint with drugs and women...

Seeing Bella again... Seeing her with Jasper... Coming here...

The night we had sex, using no condoms, the realization of it, the fights, the reuniting, the being friends again, all the teasing...

Her headaches... Telling her I loved her for the first time... Sex, sex, sex, no condom, sex, more sex, no condom again last night when she woke me up either... Wore a condom today after we got home from our friend-dates...

_Holy fucking mother of God. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Fuck. God damn._

I was so fucking blind not to see it, and this was my profession.

But it was Bella... and I had no idea.

Because sooo much shit has happened every single day that we arrived here, that I never really thought too much about it.

But here she was, the love of my life, telling me her fears, and I'm a fucking block of ice.

_Speak, dickhead._

I cleared my throat, refocusing in on her loving, worried, caramel eyes.

Then _Doctor Edward _kicked in, "When was your last period?"

"The last day of it was around the 12th or 13th-ish of December."

"So you've missed your period?"

"...Yes," she replied sheepishly.

"Are your breasts tender?"

"Slightly," she replied, blushing pink.

"Fatigued?"

"Always," she whispered, "but that happens when you're on vacation."

"Well, your mood swings are evident, and clear as day," I declared, thinking back to her constant tears, then happiness, then her lash out on me earlier tonight....

"Yes," she nodded.

"Any discharge?"

"_Edward_," she growled at me, looking disgusted.

"Bella, please."

"No... not really."

"Morning sickness is rare, especially this early... Really rare... But have you been having anything like it?"

"I don't know if it's really morning sickness as it's just... when certain things happen I feel sick... but nothing in the morning."

"You wouldn't be having cravings yet..." I thought, scanning through my internal memory, thinking about the constant charts I studied, "you've had constant headaches..."

"Yes."

"Bloating?"

"A... little, I guess."

"Are you constipated?"

She covered her face, groaning, "oh my gosh, Edward."

"Are you? It's not going to gross me out."

She shrugged, refusing to respond. _That's a yes._

I nodded again, thinking to myself, "how are you feeling at the moment?"

"Scared."

"I mean..."

"I don't _know_, I just feel... _weird_. I've been feeling weird the past few days... Dizzy spells... Headaches... Really horny, which could be just because you and I are together and I missed you so much... but... I don't know."

I placed my hands over my mouth, thinking more, "...So we had sex that one night..."

"...Right when I was most fertile, right?"

"Yes... Yes... About three days ago would be when your body begins to register the pregnancy... so this all makes sense, when you think about it..."

"...I know," she half-whimpered.

I stuck my hands in my pocket, trying to figure out exactly where to go from here, "Bella... are you on birth control?"

She cringed slightly, looking down to the ground, "I _was _on Ortho-Tri-Cyclen Lo... But I missed a few pills a month and a half ago, and it messed me up really bad, making me sick, screwing up my period, giving me one that lasted like, two weeks... The doctor said I had to stop taking it for thirty days, so my body could re-adjust..."

Her voice trailed off, and she began to look guilty.

"...So, you're off of it now..."

She nodded, sucking in her lips as she sat down on the tile.

I knelt beside her, pulling her face up, "This isn't your fault, Bella."

"Edward, you don't have to sa-"

"No, really... This isn't. Things like this... happen. I was careless, and I didn't use a condom, and that is my fault."

"I didn't think of it either," she replied, closing her eyes, "and we didn't use one last night..."

"I know," I said, "my fault again. I shouldn't have assumed we were protected. That was immature of me."

She rubbed her face, shaking her head, "you're going to leave me. You're going to end up hating me. The ex who got back together with you... trapping you with a child."

"Bella," I scoffed, getting closer to her, "don't ever say that. I don't think that of you."

"But that's what everyone else is going to think," she shook her head, trying to push away from me, "they're going to think I got you back by trapping you."

"I don't think that," I replied, trying to remain calm, "I'd never think that. I won't let anyone else think that either."

"I'm so scared, Edward... this is going to change everything if it's true."

I nodded, rubbing her knees, "I know it's scary... I wish we were back home, that way I could run some tests, do a urinalysis and a pap."

She blushed, conveniently, and buried her head further in her hands, "you will _never _be my doctor. Ever, ever, ever."

"Why not?"

"Because. Ew. That's gross."

"Bella," I replied, not caring that we were getting off track for a moment, "I've kissed and licked and touched every single part of your body... I've been in and out of you, with my penis, my fingers, my tongue, my lips.. Come on, I've _seen _it all."

If her face could be any redder, she'd burst into a tomato plant, "shut up. Besides, you don't have your license yet."

"Well, I had good grades in college, graduating early acception -- thank you -- and a top score on my MCATs. I've also met all the prerequisites of medical school -- and I'd sort of like to thank you, for keeping me interested in biology and chemistry, by the way -- and I've already gotten my residency position accredited for, meaning I am working at the hospital, beneath the Head, and fill-in when they're out. Just like any other career, the grades are most important, not _necessarily _the years. I've been in school since I was eighteen, so I've got five years of experience beneath my belt... I'm more than half-there..."

I smirked, shaking my head, "...I'm pretty sure that, since I've been in parts of surgeries and deliveries lasting over twenty-four hours at a time... that I can handle a urinalysis and pap. Regardless of if I have an actual license."

"That's illegal."

"So?" I replied, though I knew she was right. _But the sickening yet hot and sexy idea of her on a table and me in my wear, sitting on that swivel chair between her thighs..._

Then I realized we were getting off track, and quickly straightened myself out.

I needed to be the strong one here, the man, the one in control. I had to stay cool, despite my internal organs that are freaking out inside of me.

"Okay... so... here's what we'll do... It's been a couple of weeks, so your body _should _be able to register the human growth hormone that a test can make out... But I'm not positive on that, as one can never be this early. So.. We'll go and get you a test that you can take at home, and if it says you are, then we'll go to the hospital and get some blood work drawn. There's different types, so if we ask for a... a...." I slapped my head, trying to make the words come out, "...a Qualitative Blood Test, which is different, because it just recognizes that you _have _hgH in your system, instead of measuring the exact amount... but it'll tell us if you are..."

She nodded.

I crawled toward her, tossing a towel beside her, "lay back and put your head on that for a sec."

"Edward, you are _not _going t-"

"I just want to feel your stomach."

She stared at me confused, then did as I asked.

I pursed my lips, lifting her shirt. Then I massaged her skin so it'd loosen up, and began pressing above her uterus, "that hurt?"

"Mmhmm."

"Tender?"

"Very."

"Hmm..." I said, trailing down my hands. I unfastened the button and unzipped her jeans, pushing her underwear down a few inches. Then I pressed there with my fingers. "Tender?"

"Yes," she whispered.

I nodded, feeling around more with my thumbs, "and here?"

"No."

"...Here?"

"S-Sorta."

"Okay... what about here?"

"Yes. What does this all mean Edward?"

I re-fastened her pants, and pulled her and myself up, "it means... I think you may be right. But there's only one way to find out."

As I grabbed her hand, she pulled on me, "wait, what about Rose?"

That was when it dawned on me that Rosalie was the one that got the pregnancy tests.

_Fuck. This could be really bad. _

"What kind of test did she get again?" I asked.

Bella shrugged still looking uncomfortable as fuck.

"All right," I said, pulling her to me, "let's go find out... but first... give me those sexy lips."

"Edward," she said, shoving her face into my chest bashfully.

"No, I mean it," I chuckled, pulling her face up, "I want 'em."

She looked up at me through those lashes, which caused my body to have reactions quite like the ones that put us in this predicament in the first place, and I just fucking let loose, saying _fuck it_, and slipped my tongue inside the warm, sweet depths of her mouth, before I even pressed my lips to hers.

She tasted incredible. Just like always.

And maybe I was kissing her to try and calm her down... but did it work?

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I waited nervously beside Jacob on the couch, after Emmett took the Xbox upstairs to drink with Jasper, and Alice crashed out on the chase.

My knees were trembling, my stomach was flipping, my throat was squeezed tight, I felt like throwing up... and Jake... he looked fucking calm.

I gawked at him, turning his face to me hastily, "How on earth is that I am twenty four, and you are twenty one, and yet _you _are the calm one in this situation."

He shrugged, slouching down into the cushions of the couch comfortably, "life happens."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well," he said, fiddling with his lighter, "in movies, it's all about white picket fences and fucking rose gardens, and career, man, marriage, then baby... But shit like that hardly ever happens the way we plan for it to happen here in the real world. Children are born before the woman finds the right man. Others are just conceived before marriage. It never really goes in order."

"But, Jacob," I whispered, edging closer to him, "you could be a dad. You could be a dad to _my _baby."

He turned toward me, his face a dazzling mere inch from mine, and whispered almost _seductively_, "...Would that be such a bad thing?"

Momentarily, my breath _wooshed_ away from me, but I quickly regained my senses, pushing my face away from his, "yes. It would."

His expression turned into a glare and he turned away, taking a sip of his beer, "what if it were Emmett instead?"

"Huh?"

"Emmett. What if it was you and Emmett, what if he were the dad of this potential baby?"

I began to stammer, feeling really weird suddenly, "...I love Emmett."

He scoffed, shaking his head. Then he leaned forward, cradling the back of his neck with his hands, muttering beneath his breath.

"Jake?" I asked, leaning forward to rub his back.

He stood up, walking away from me, "let's just take the test, okay, Rose?"

I nodded, swallowing hard, "...s-sure. I'll go get Edward."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After I got Edward, and showed him the test that I got, he instantly shook his head, "that's not a good one."

"What do you mean? It's E.P.T."

"It's not the best choice for earliest pregnancy prediction. You need a different one."

"Why didn't you tell me that _before _I got it?" I gritted through my teeth.

"Because I didn't know the _circumstances _before," he hissed back at me. "It was none of my business. I mean, how was I supposed to know you weren't with someone before we got here?"

I glared at him, though he had a point. "Fine. What kind do I get?"

"We'll need a First Response Early Result test. They're the best. From what I remember, it's like, you can take it three to five days before you even miss your period or some shit. It has the highest sensitivity."

"Let's just go and get it then, there's a drug store a few blocks from here."

"_We_," he said, turning and slapping Jake hard on the back, "will go get it. You two just stay put. Especially you," he pointed to Bella.

"Ugh, what did I do?"

"That's my potential child in there," he replied, "and I'm not having you going out in town this late. Stay here."

Bella growled at him, then muttered, "...and it starts."

Edward winked at her, then turned to Jake, smirking at him, "how did you and I end up being in this situation together?"

"At least I used a rubber," Jake replied, "what's your excuse?"

"Fucking hot women climbing into my bedroom in the middle of the night and demanding me to lay a pipe on them."

"Hello," Bella and I hissed at them at the same time, "we _are _present here. Take the manly conversation elsewhere."

Edward and Bella kissed, while Jake looked at me -- glumly?

I frowned at him. I felt bad for putting him in this position. He was so young.

He'd hate me eventually. Plus, I didn't know what the hell was going on anymore.

After they left, I dropped back on the couch, tossing my feet on the coffee table, "what do you think Edward thinks about this?"

"I have no idea," she groaned, sliding in beside me, "but can you imagine what mom and Phil will think? The both of us... Sisters... Young twenties... Pregnant... Neither of us married... We should go on Jerry Springer."

"Well... It definitely brings a new meaning to starting this year off with a bang," I replied.

"What about Jake? How does he feel?"

"He.. confuses the shit out of me. He acts fine one moment, then he's rushing for us to get it over with the next."

"He'd make an awesome dad though," Bella said, picking at my fingernail polish, "I mean, think about Dalton."

"His little nephew?"

"Yeah. I mean, Jake takes his sister's little boy every other weekend when he's home... Treats that three year old like he's the king of the world... And Jake doesn't act childish at all with him. He really straightens up whenever Dalton and him are together. He's tender, takes care of him like he's his own..."

"He does love him," I sighed.

"He'd love his own even more."

I closed my eyes tight, as my heart clenched over, "Emmett will have a field day with this one if it turns out to be true. He'd never even be able to look at me without laughing and calling me a fraud."

Bella wrapped her arms around me, giving me a side hug, "no offense sis, but... you need to focus on you right now. Not Emmett."

"Yeah," I frowned, "I know... I just... I miss him."

"I know you do. Trust me, I've been there."

"But you got yours back," I objected.

"...I just... I don't want to think about this until they come back. Can we just sit here and watch David Letterman or something?"

"Sure," I replied, kissing the side of her head, "anything for you, Sissy."

I clicked on the remote, and we continued to hold on to each other for support.

In a sad and sadistic way, I was glad she was going through this with me.

At least I wasn't alone.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

It was really fucking weird sitting side by side Edward in his tiny ass, little flashy car.

I rolled down the windows, lighting a cigarette, breathing in the artic chill from outside, "can you fucking believe this man?"

Edward scoffed, shaking his head, "Not really."

I handed him a cigarette, which he accepted, "I feel like such an embacil."

"It's not your fault Jake. You were protected."

"Like it fucking helped. If I knew I was going to be in this situation, I wouldn't have even worn anything. Hell, it'd feel a hell of a lot better _without _one."

Edward glared at me as he stopped at the stop sign, "Jake. Come on."

I shrugged, turning back toward the road, "and to think that three weeks ago, I had no fucking idea of what my life may become."

"It happens that way."

"Yeah. At least you're with a girl who's in love with you. That makes it easier on your part."

"What's that mean?"

"I mean, if it was with some random chick, you'd be feeling less calm about it."

"I'm not calm," he replied softly, "I'm just mentally preparing myself. There isn't shit I can do about it at this moment. It's out of my hands. But if I'm prepared, and the test shows positive, I won't be a fucking stiff rod in front of Bella."

"So you're faking your support for her?"

Edward shook his head, turning onto the high way, "I didn't say that. I'd be happy either way I think. I keep thinking to myself, 'you're going to be with this woman regardless, so it's not that big of a deal'. I mean, sure, you know, Phil will probably fucking murder me when he finds out, if my mother or someone else doesn't get to me first... but if I survive the physical damages... then that's _still_ going to be the woman for me, you know? It'd be my job to fight for her, for us."

I took a long, burning drag of my cigarette, shaking my head, "do you _like _kids?"

"Absolutely."

"So you want them?"

"Yes."

"Do you think you'll be a good dad?"

"I think I have a pretty decent chance of being one, yes. I worry about my demanding career, but I'll have to work around it in order to be there for Bella."

"You act too fucking calm. Fucking quit it! _Freak out _or some shit. For me, _please_."

"Jake," he said, turning to me, "it's going to be all right. Either way."

"No, no it's not."

"Why not?"

"Because," I groaned, closing my eyes, "this changes every thing."

"You'll still be young, you'll still be-"

"That's not what I'm talking about," I replied, "I'm just... Rose will never look at me the same. Regardless of is she is or is not pregnant... she'll never, like, see me as Jake anymore. I'll be _Jacob _now. She won't look at me like I have a light behind me... I won't be on that pedestal anymore. I'll be fucking on the ground, the dirt beneath her shoe. She'll just move on to something else. She'll move on to the Emmett's of the world."

Edward pulled into a parking spot at Walgreen's, and shut off his car, "Jake, if I didn't know you better, I'd say you were in love with her and were worried she wouldn't give you a chance now."

My stomach tightened as I flipped the cigarette onto the parking lot and rolled up the window. Then I sat, silent in the seat.

Edward quickly understood my inability to respond. "Dude... really?"

I unbuckled my seat belt, and swung open the door, "let's just get the shit."

Edward chased after me, stopping my pace as he stood in front of me, guarding the front doors to the store as we stood out on the curb, "Jake you've got to tell her how you feel."

"Don't _dictate _to me," I spat darkly, before trudging past him.

"Jake, come on, you've got to tell her."

I ignored him, storming through the isles, toward the tests.

Once we got there, Edward stood in front of me again, "Jake. You need to tell her."

"What the fuck do you know about it?"

"I know what it's like to not tell someone how you feel and then regret it for fucking years afterward, wondering to yourself what it'd be like if you _did _speak up... What if you two were to get together... What if it changed everything..."

"Just get the damn test."

"Don't lock up on her. It'll push her further away."

I reached past him, grabbing a few boxes off the shelf, "which one?"

He glared at me, before snatching one out of my hand, "listen to me. I know what the fuck I'm talking about."

I grabbed another box, identical to the one in his hand, and shoved all the other ones on an empty space on the shelf, "let's go."

"Jake."

"Stop trying to be my fucking daddy, Edward. Don't practice that shit on me."

"I'm trying to speak to you man to man here."

"Fuck that. Let's just go."

The cashier gave us an awkward look, and I rolled my eyes at the sixteen year old idiot, _because he was a fucking idiot_, "don't even fucking presume it, bitch."

Edward glared at me, before apologizing to the little baby and paying for the shit.

Fucking eighteen dollars a piece, plus tax. For something you _piss _on.

The car ride back to the cabin was silent. I liked it better that way.

I wasn't in the mood to be preached at. My heart rate was all ready up and my hands were clammy.

I shouldn't have even fucking let on to him that I cared for her. Would have saved me a God-damn headache.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The girls refused us to be in the same room with them, but they went inside together, locking the door.

"Just don't get the tests confused," Edward shouted through the door.

"Go away," Rosalie hissed, before covering the bottom crack with a towel from the inside.

After carrying the dead-to-the-world-Pixie up to her room, Edward sat down on the chase, groaning into his palms.

I did the same thing, sitting on the opposite side of the room.

For some pathetic unknown reason, I was sort of happy he was dealing with this insanity with me.

I'd rather be around someone who was at least trained in this matter, than someone who was as ignorant as I was.

"How long do we have to wait?" I asked, bouncing my elbows and head on my knees.

"Three minutes."

"Three minutes, eh?"

_Great. _

_Three minutes until my life fucking drastically changes, either way._

_I cannot fucking wait._

With each ticking of the watch on my wrist, my stomach twisted with another knot...

I couldn't stop thinking about Rose.

About myself.

About Emmett.

About_, if Emmett and I were hanging off a cliff and she could only save one, who would it be?_

_The friend that's been in her life for fifteen years, since I was like, six years old? The one who's been there for her, through thick and thin? Who'd do any fucking thing for her, including sacrifice his personal happiness if she didn't want to be with him?_

_Or the man she only really got to know a couple weeks ago, but claims to be in love with, though he dumped her cold for stupid pathetic reasons he had no business even fucking judging her over?_

Fuck that, I didn't have to think.

I knew who she'd choose, and that made me feel worse.

I groaned, curling over to clutch my upset stomach, and looked up, to see Edward pacing around the room.

"Stop fucking pacing," I moaned shakily, as my forehead grew a thick layer of sweat on it, "it's making me fucking nauseated."

"Sorry," Edward said, suddenly halting to a stop in the middle of the room.

I squinted through my burning eyes, trying to focus on my watch.

_Tick.... tick............ tick......................................tick._

"Jake. you okay?" Edward asked, rushing over to me, "you don't look so good."

"Fine," I gasped, rubbing my facial hair harshly, "I just feel hot."

"You're swaying," he said, grabbing my shoulders.

"Y-yeah," I spat, as my heart began to speed up, more than ever before.

I didn't feel right.

Something was wrong.

Something was very, very wrong.

Something was very, very, _very _fucking wrong. Oh shit.

"Something's wrong," I muttered, as I pulled on him and tried to stand.

"Whoa, whoa, Jacob. Jacob!"

My body began to feel really heavy, like I was walking through cement, and quick sand mixed together.

"E-Edward," I panted, as my stomach over took my thoughts.

"BELLA!" Edward shouted, as my vision went black. "ROSE! Someone, help!"

I could hear the door swinging open and girls shouting, and then something hit my head really fucking hard.

People began shuffling around me, but I couldn't see anything.

All I could feel was the tremors and heat flashes passing through my body.

I could hear myself throwing up, but couldn't really understand anything going on.

Then I blacked out cold.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 20! **

**-- Do you hate me?? :(  
**

**Poll for this chapter:  
-- What do you think are the results? [Tricky, tricky]  
-- What do you think is going on with Jacob now that he collapsed?**

**

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**-- -- Please excuse if any research isn't perfect. I spent hours googling every single thing I could about this, so if anything is incorrect, then it SHOULD be minor and not as important.  
If something is majorly wrong with my research, please pm me, so I can go in and fix it.  
[Make sure to include your http://www[dot]source[dot]com in the notes, with that type of source, as I just showed in the example.]  
**

**-- Yes, triggers happen like that, with Bella thinking of James when she lashed out on Edward. :( It's a side-effect to PTSD.  
**

**-- Please note something: Any decision that comes from this has been made for a while now. Ridiculing chances won't change my opinion. Of course, I'll always read your responses  
and take them into account, regardless of my personal view on the situation. But please don't be too crude with me if you don't like something. Thank you.  
-- Also, like Jake said in the story... life doesn't really happen the white-picket fence way. And we all know that this story was not going to be a white-picket fence way, from the start. Just sayin'. ;)**

**-- Remember: This is part one of the events to come. The beginning paragraph is from the NEXT night. This is night **_**one **_**of the whole parental thing. The next day will be more explanatory, as the results are discovered, as well as Bella's journal, more with the Esme/Phil issue, and more with everything else. Not to mention, the results of the 1st paragraph of this.**

**

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Poll results of last chapter: Emmett & Bella had the best date, and most people guessed correctly about Jake/Rose. :D**

**Reviews are better than Phil and Edward vs Esme and Bella, round two! :D**


	21. Murky Results

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my amazing beta, for your understanding, and for your generosity. You are truly a sweetheart. Thank you for putting up with the unfortunate re-write mishaps, the promised, yet missed deadlines, my inability to guarantee a time table, and this MONSTER of a chapter. ILY!

** SPECIAL THANKS to everyone on the lion_lamb community, LJ, JJB, and FF who has helped me try to restore this chapter for the 3rd time. I appreciate all your hard work.

This chapter was never meant to take this long to post, but life has a way of making me angry sometimes! Please excuse any mistakes/oversights.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One: Part Two of Two, the parents return.  
Have you ever heard of the phrase, **_**the tension in the air was so thick, you could cut it with a knife**_**?  
More revelations are discovered, tensions run high, and with everything going on... it becomes overloaded and eventually EXPLODES TERRIBLY.**

**NOTE: READ SLOWLY, there is a LOT of information to process in each and every POV. It's a brain-overload.  
Warning: Some of this toward the end gets vivid -- so take caution when you read if you're sensitive.**

**This chapter is 64 PAGES LONG (bless my beta Katie's heart!!), so I hope it makes up for the time lapse it took to post it!  
**This is another one of those "nail biting, hold your breath when you post" chapters, but I figured, if you guys have stuck with me this far... I hope you'll stay with me 'til the end!!**  
Pictures, songs, links in profile.  


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**SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:  
(Kristen) calin_durus at Twilighted[dot]Net started a forum thread for **_**"The Ex Factor"**_** back in January, and I absentmindedly forgot to plug it. **

**EVERYONE please do me a favor and visit this site: http://www[dot]twilighted[dot]net/forum/viewtopic[dot]php?f=44&t=2577 (link also in profile)  
You can find buttons representing **_**"The Ex Factor"**_** for your signatures, talk about your favorite parts of the chapter, gossip about predictions of the characters, and much, much more!! Plus I'm a member and that's a way for you to stay in constant touch with me, make any suggestions, etc. I would love it if you guys all showed up there. It only takes a few minutes, and would mean a great deal to me!! :D  
Special shoutout to MY COURT (dazzlemebetch) for your AWESOME "TEF" signature button you made!! Everyone should go check it out on Twilighted, it's the best!**

**And I felt it wasn't too late to promote the story, since there's going to be at least 9 more chapters, maybe even more!! :D **

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**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**You hold me without touch. You keep me without chains.  
I never wanted anything so much...  
Than to drown in your love, and not feel your rain.  
Set me free, leave me be.  
I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.  
Here I am and I stand so tall.... just the way I'm supposed to be.  
But you're on to me and all over me...**_

_**Sara Bareilles, "Gravity"**_

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**Chapter Twenty-One: Murky Results**

**JacobPOV **

_Beep...................beep................................_

_..............beep.......................beep.............._

_.......beep....................beep.................beep_

I hate fucking hospitals.

Before I even opened my eyes after my collapse, I knew we were in a hospital.

With all the fucking buzzing machines, the doctor and nurse gossip, plus hearing the sobs and whispers of my friends... I entered hell.

Taking a deep breath and trying my damndest to mentally prepare myself for the biggest possible backlash I had experienced in my twenty-one years, I blinked my eyes open.

It took a few moments for my vision to adjust to my surroundings, and I could hear the shuffling of feet and gasping of throats, as people began to surround my bedside.

"Jesus fucking Christ," I groaned, rubbing my eyes vigorously with the back of my arms, "you guys act like I just fucking died and rose again."

"Mr. Black, welcome back once again. How are you feeling?" a doctor asked.

I took a deep breath, wincing at the pressure on my forehead, "Like I just crawled through hell, scraped the back of my head on straggled cement, licked broken glass, and ate a giant brass tuba. How about yourself?"

"Much happier now that you're fully responsive for more than just a few seconds. Can you open your eyes more for me? I want to check your pupils."

I widened my eyes as much as possible, and through my peripheral vision, I caught a glance that about forced my heart to falter again. There she stood, the blonde that captured my heart, crying tears of possible happiness or defeat, in the arms of Emmett McCarty. Her face was buried into the shoulder of his Lakers' jersey, and he was caressing the back of her head and telling her it was all okay now.

"Jacob, look at me."

I cleared my throat, focusing on the mini-flashlight that was blinding me.

The nurses began checking my pulse and doing a bunch of random little tests, while the doctor did his run-down.

I didn't really pay attention when they were examining me like a fucking rat trapped behind its wheel.

Instead, I tried to remember what the hell happened that put me here. But each time I tried, I got a severe pain on the upper left side of my head, and I stopped attempting to think.

It hurt too much.

"Mr. Black, can you tell me what you last remember?"

"Uh," I stammered, scratching my five o' clock shadow, "I was in the front room, waiting..."

"We counted a high level of alcohol in your system, as well as tobacco, and some illegal substances, and prescription drugs. Do you remember consuming all of these items?"

I nodded, closing my eyes tight, "Vaguely. I was under a bit of stress."

"Can you tell me everything you remember taking?"

Taking a deep sigh, I began, "Twelve pack of Budweiser, two double vodka spritzers, ....uh.... like, half a Xany-bar, ...smoked a joint or two throughout the day... the usual Camels... that's it."

"Tell me the very last thing that you remember before the black out."

I looked around the room, taking in the expressions of very worried Alice and Jasper, a tearful Rosalie, an empathetic Emmett, Renee brushing through my hair looking like a concerned mother, Phil standing behind her with his arms crossed looking impatient, Bella biting her lip looking extremely fucking nervous, Esme stretching around her son to get a better glance of me, Edward wearing tiny square-framed glasses, and a doctor's jacket over his clothes, standing behind his father Carlisle while appearing hesitant, and finally, Carlisle and another doctor staring at me like I was a newborn baby they were waiting to hear cry for the first time, along with about three random female nurses.

"Mr. Black?"

"I... uh, can't remember exactly. Just waiting."

Of course, I knew this wasn't true, and that I remembered exactly what happened and what I was waiting on.

_Fucking pregnancy results. Like the impatient viewers of the Maury Show, I wanted to hear 'you ARE the father!'_

But I didn't want to say that, just in case no one else knew but the four of us involved.

The doctors began explaining shit to me in highly overwhelming doctor language, where I caught about every eighth word of the sentence, and it started to give me a headache.

I coughed, waving my hands in the air, trying to get them to shut up, "Wait, wait, wait. ...What are you saying right now?"

They began again, and it just started the entire moaning/headache process.

"Shut. The. Hell. Up," I said through my cold palms. "Edward, can you _please _tone their rambling intellectual shit down to my level of brain capacity?"

Edward stepped around his father, readjusting his glasses, "Jacob, what Dr. Hollingston meant is, what started with you, at first, was a typical anxiety attack. Those happen as a body defense, when you're experiencing high levels of stress or pressure. You'll start to feel dizzy, sweaty, ears ringing, along with other symptoms, and then your heart will begin to beat erratic, which may worry you and force your reactions to worsen. We're assuming it made you nervous, and you began to panic, heighten your senses, along with your body defense shield mechanisms. You began to sway around, showing me you were on the verge of possibly losing consciousness... The way your lashes began to flutter and your jaw tightened, the left side of your eye began to hang... I believe this may have been signs of a start of a _Complex Partial Seizure_. I wasn't that close to you, but I reached out to grab you. Because you were dead weight at the moment, I couldn't hold you up. We were standing in the living room, and you fell to your left, toppling down and hitting above your left temple on the corner of the coffee table."

I furrowed my brows and winced, rubbing the bandage on my head.

"After that," Edward continuing, raising his chin a little, "your anxiety attack, which led into the _Complex Partial Seizure_, progressed into a _Tonic Clonic Status Epilepticus_. It's a long lasting convulsive seizure. You began to spasm and shake, and then vomit was immured. I turned you sideways and fingered out as much of it as possible, and we got you here within the thirty minutes needed. If we had waited any longer, the results may have been fatal."

I shook my head, still unable to grasp everything, "What does that _mean_?"

"It means Edward saved your life," the Dr. Holling-_whatever-his-name-was_ explained. "Seizures are hardly even fatal, even if one loses consciousness. But when vomit intermits due to a _TCSE Seizure_, if the bile is not completely removed from the throat passageway, it can be, due to suffocation."

I couldn't think without being confused, "But, I've never had a seizure before..."

Edward stepped forward again, looking professional, which shocked me. I didn't even know he knew what the hell he was talking about, being that he was supposed to be an OB-GYN Surgeon type. _ He must have studied many aspects of medicine. _

He finished with, "They are aware of that, after running a few scans and MRI's, during the intermediate times you'd awaken. They believe the head trauma you concurred over the fall, against your Sphenoid bone, here on the outside of your eyes, which may have increased latter effects and pressure against your Frontal, and possibly your Temporal bone as well. This is why you are wincing, having headaches, trouble concentrating, etc. These are _not _permanent results. But just to make sure it's nothing else, we're languishing the results now."

"So... what the hell does that _mean_? I mean, I get what happened with me, but, does this mean that I'm like, _epileptic _or whatever?"

Carlisle cleared his throat, pushing Edward behind him and taking charge, "When seizures first begin, your body defenses do decrease, making it possible for more of them to occur in the future. It's sort of like opening a brand new window. Your body defenses have become cracked, and though the window can be closed, it'll never have that tight seal you once had. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

"We'll wait a few hours; see how you're feeling, and go from there, on the regards of if you'll be released today or not. At the moment, you seem to be fully aware, vitals are good, and your reactions do not seem to be delayed... We'll just wait it out. We've prescribed to you _Gabatril_, which is a seizure medication. It's a small yellow capsule, only 4mg, which you will take twice a day. If you feel any symptoms of de-ja-vu, or 'the butterfly effect', as some have described it, then those are possible leading factors of a seizure coming on. It may cause a ricocheting effect, which is back to back, and you may feel as if you're dreaming. Seconds later, you'll 'awake' feeling groggy and maybe even confused. This means that you've experienced another seizure, and you'll need to contact us immediately. Now, this is not to say that you need to be paranoid, but just... observant. Okay?"

"Y-Yes," I nodded.

"Great," Carlisle closed his clipboard, whispering to the other doctor for a moment, "well, we'll let you rest, and when we get the results, we'll take the next step."

"Thanks," I said, as they left.

Pursing my lips, I studied the expressions of everyone.

Renee was the first to crack, leaning over and giving me a hug, "I'm glad you're okay, Jakey. We've all been so worried about you."

"Nah," I said, rubbing her back briefly, "no need to worry over me. I'm strong like a wolf."

"A wolf?" she chuckled, wiping her nose, "why a wolf and not something more... burly... like, a bear?"

I grinned at her, "Yeah a wolf, like my Cady. She's beautiful. Wolves are fast, brilliant, enduring, and... mysterious."

She smiled, "I like it. It suits you."

After everyone but Rosalie hugged me, I glanced at her, swallowing deep, "...You okay?"

She nodded, half-sobbing in Emmett's shirt. She seemed pretty content, taking comfort in his arms. I didn't like it.

She didn't look like she was able to speak. _Or was it, that she didn't want to speak to me?_

I wanted to ask her so badly what the results were, and why she was the furthest away from me, but didn't want to cause mass hysteria in the middle of the room.

Edward quickly excused himself, asking Rosalie and Bella to come with him.

I caught his wrist as they were walking out, "Edward? ...Thanks, for... fingering vomit out of my mouth."

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head, "That's what friends are for, right?"

I nodded, pulling in my lips, "Yeah, right." Then I smiled at him as they walked out.

_Friends with Edward? Who would have thought._

One quick glance at the needle in my hand, and the tubes from it due to the IV, and I groaned, covering my face with my arm.

I just wanted to go home.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I cleared my throat when we entered the hallway, and gave Edward a gracious smile as he handed me a Kleenex.

The massive lightening storm outside made us all want to scream. _It is freakin' winter. Why in the hell was it storming?_

Plus, the past few hours have been an absolute whirlwind, and I think we were all feeling the burns of emotional drainage and mental exhaustion.

Bella gave me a sideways hug, resting her chin on my shoulder, "He's okay now, Rose."

"I know," I croaked out, in a weakened voice. My throat burned a fiery intensity, and there wasn't a lozenge that has helped me. "It's just... h-hard."

"It is," Edward said, nodding in agreement as he tucked his hands in his pockets, "but I have every reason to believe he'll have an easy recovery. Carlisle says he should be able to go home today, or early morning. It's three AM here, so... maybe in six hours?"

"Go home?" I asked in shock. _What the hell were they thinking?! _

"But, w-what if it's too soon, w-what if he has another attack, what if it gets worse and no one knows and then something drastic happens and it takes too long to get there and then-"

"Rose," Edward responded, clutching the sides of my arms, "calm down. Just... breathe."

I took a deep breath at the same time Bella and Edward did, and let it out slowly, "I'm sorry. I'm just... he's one of my best friends. I'm really worried about him, and with everything else going on, I just... can't.... you know... I can't..."

"I know. He's going to be okay. I promise."

I nodded as my eyes began to water again.

The only thing I could think of to respond with was a little hostile but needed to be said. "He fucking _better _be, Edward," I replied through a sob.

"I give you my word." Edward pulled me into his arms, giving me a hug.

He let me cry it out on his clean, white, borrowed hospital jacket for as long as I wanted.

Bella was soothingly rubbing my back, looking a little distant.

After a few moments, I pulled away, clearing my throat again, "Bella, what is it?"

"It sucks that we didn't get to see the results," she replied numbly.

I shook my head, "We didn't have time. It wasn't three minutes yet, when he... went down."

"Well we've done the tests here, while everyone was distracted. As soon as they come out, I'll let you know..." He paused, flipping through a clipboard, "but I need you guys to sign these please."

Bella and I took the papers, looking them over.

"Edward," Bella groaned, blinking a few times, "I'm exhausted. What does all of this say, I can hardly read it."

"It's a release form from your current doctors. I went in the public records, pulled your files and got them sent over, but I need you to sign these so I can unlock the codes and get into your medical history. Without it, I won't be able to read your results... I know the adults will be lurking around us, watching us, and I do not want them around if another doctor hunts you guys down to give the results. If you sign these, I can read them discreetly and let you know in private."

I twitched my lips, scratching my head, "Unlock our medical history? Like you're going to be able to see all of our pap results, sexual history, and shit?"

"You'll temporary resign me as your choice of doctor. Therefore, yes, I will have full access. But it will remain confidential. You have my word."

Bella didn't mind, quickly signing it and handing it to him. After watching them hug, I took a deep breath, and signed the paper.

"Fourteen," I said, as I handed it to him.

"What?"

"That's how many guys I've had sex with. I know you'll be able to read it on there somewhere if you dig or something, so I just wanted to tell you... I'm a slut, now you know."

Edward pulled away from Bella's embrace and gently put his hands on my shoulders, dipping his head down low to look at me eye-level, "Rose. Listen to me. Despite what you and I have said or done in the past, I know that things are different. We're not the same anymore. And this, this is my profession. I'm not here to judge you, and I hope that you aren't here to judge me. Okay? Your business is your business. I'm just here to make sure that you two are taken care of from now on, regardless of these results."

I nodded, smiling sheepishly. I didn't want to talk anymore than I had to. My throat was really getting on my nerves; I felt like a fire-breathing dragon.

Edward began to walk away, but Bella tugged on him, pulling him back.

She sighed, looking into his eyes glumly, "Wait. I have to say something... I've been drinking. Since that night, I've drank quite a bit. I've taken Tylenol, I've jumped and danced and flipped and stressed and had sex and... I don't know what's healthy and what's not, but I know alcohol isn't good..."

Edward grinned slightly, caressing her shoulders, "It's okay, even if you are pregnant. A lot of women do this because they are unaware, and are living their lives like normal. If it was a couple months and you were drinking every single night, it'd be different. But you've been the least-drunk out of all of us, even Alice. You have nothing to worry about."

Bella began to fidget, but decided to take his word for it. She was probably too exhausted to try and argue with him.

"Let's just..." I started, looking into the window of Jake's room, "when we find out the results, let's just... keep it to ourselves for a while. Okay? I don't want to risk everyone finding out, because it'll be World War III if we do. Deal?"

"Whatever you prefer," Edward said, glancing between us.

Bella looked at me and then nodded. "Deal."

"Deal." I said, exhaling.

It made me feel better to know that my privacy could be just that. Privacy.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I opened my eyes and glanced down toward my hip. Jazz and my hands were intertwined, and I was playing with the tips of his fingers.

Hospitals were so boring. It's amazing what you find interesting when you're here for a long time.

"Yo, what the hell are you two doing?"

We turned to the right, to see Emmett plopping down on the seat across from us, picking up a _Health _magazine.

"Relaxing," Jasper mumbled, burying his face into my shoulder.

"The two of you are cooped up on freakin' hospital chairs, lying down like it's a plush couch. That cannot be comfortable."

"It's after three in the morning. We'll make it comfortable."

Emmett groaned, slouching down in the chair and hanging his head back, "Will this day ever end?"

"Not likely. We're stuck here forever."

"I'll kill myself."

"That's nice," Jasper chuckled. He ripped his baseball cap that I stole earlier off of my head and put it over his face, "wake me up when we get to leave."

"It may be a while," Emmett said, flipping the page. "Still waiting on results."

"It was so weird that he just hit the ground. I know he was smokin' out and stuff, but... all of you seem to be fine."

"I think there was more to it than that, Alice," Jazz chuckled, pulling me closer to him on the tiny chairs.

He began to rub the side of his cheek over my left breast, smiling to himself.

_Men and boobs. I'll never understand it. _"What's your obsession with my breasts," I chuckled, rubbing his head, "they're not even big."

"It doesn't matter how big or small they are," he whispered groggily into my skin, "as long as you can palm it." Jasper raised his head and uncovered his eyes from the cap, smiling at me, "Do you want to know what you can do with two pounds of fat and make it look pretty?"

I grinned, "What?"

"Give it a nipple."

I slapped him on his shoulder and threw the baseball cap back over his face, "Go to sleep."

He laughed, pulling me sideways, burying his face into the middle of my tank top, "I'm trying."

"Okay, this really hurts. These chairs aren't big enough for us to be positioned like this." I could hear Emmett chuckling behind me, and it made me laugh too, "Stop it, it really hurts!"

Jasper released me, making me feel more comfortable, "Fine... I'll just feel lonely without you ... holding me..."

"Don't make me feel bad."

"Oh, I'm gonna."

"Loser," I teased.

"Broad."

I gasped, pulling away from him and trying to sit up.

Of course, he didn't allow this, laughing and pulling me back to him, "I'm sorry, you're not a broad."

"That was horrible!"

"It was a joke."

"Mmhmm."

"You guys, shut up," Emmett groaned, shaking his head, "there's too much couple-y shit going on lately."

"Yeah, well, you used to be a couple having couple-y shit," I reminded him.

Emmett glared at me pointedly, "Shut up Alice."

"I'm just saying... choose your battles."

"Shut it."

"I'm just saying!"

"And I'm telling you to _stop _saying."

"Fine," I groaned, turning on my side and throwing Jasper's hand over my face, "wake us up when you know something."

"Surely."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Edward, where are you going?"

I sealed my eyes and twisted around, cursing beneath my breath, "Just, uh, going for a walk. Stretching my legs."

"Want some company?"

I forced a smile, wrapping my arms around my mother's shoulders, "Sure. Why not."

She threw her arm around my waist as we headed down the hallway, toward the elevator. "You look so good in your little jacket. So professional. Your father and I are very proud of you."

"Thanks mama," I said, punching the ground button to the lobby.

We were silent for a few moments, but I knew it was coming.

She waited until we were outside the doors to actually say it, "So what's the deal with you and Bella?"

I groaned, rubbing the back of my neck, "Mom, let's just... relax out here, okay? I don't want to talk about Bella right now."

She looked up at me, disapprovingly, "...Why not?"

"Because it's my life."

"I'm a part of your life, Edward. What's gotten into you?"

I groaned, trying to figure out how to get away from her without looking obvious. I needed to go see the results. It was killing me, waiting here and not knowing.

This was one of the most important moments of my life, and it could be happening today... This sucked.

"Edward?"

"Hey, look," I said, giving her a quick hug, "I love you, you're my mom, and I'm glad to see you... But I've got a lot on my mind, some things I need to sort out on my own, and I'd really appreciate some courtesy while I do it."

She sighed into my shirt, before releasing me, "I understand. I just worry about you."

"And I appreciate it, but I'm a big boy."

"I just don't like the idea of Bella re-entering your life and destroying your focus."

"Mom," I warned. Then I exhaled, whispering, "_stop_."

She raised her hands in the air, "I'm sorry. My bad. Goodness gracious."

I gave her a nod, then turned for the doors, "I'm going back inside."

"Edward, wait," she ran after me, grabbing me by the crook of my elbow, "I'm just... concerned."

"Don't be," I replied, walking through and leaving her out there.

I didn't need anyone else being on the anti-Bella/Edward ship. I had enough people on the fucker to drown my ass as it was.

This was just like high school. Nothing has changed. People are still going to bitch about it. Like they fucking know.

I growled, turning out of the elevator and onto the Maternity floor.

I swung by the desk, finding a young, short-haired brunette that was giving me the eye earlier. "Hey," I said, giving her a crooked grin that normally allows me to get what I want, "I'm Doctor Cullen, from Seattle Grace Medical Center. I was referred by Doctor Manson and Doctor Cherele, for Isabella Swan and Rosalie Dwyer. I was wondering if you've received those test results back yet?"

She smiled at me, almost gushy-like, and seemed to forget what I was asking her for as soon as I stopped speaking.

I grinned, forcing myself to appear like I was patiently waiting.

"Oh," she giggled, shaking her head and typing into the computer, "sorry, long day. Um... let's see... oh yes, they called earlier and mentioned the records needed to have a signed release signature for both individual patients faxed over before you could complete the transfer."

I quickly pulled out the signed forms, handing them to her, "Here you go."

She nodded, glancing over them, and then putting them in the fax machine, "Okay, Doctor Cullen. The results have a few moments before they will be here, and as soon as they are, I can page you. What is your beeper number?"

I quickly wrote down the one the hospital gave to me on a post it note, and grinned at her, "I'll be downstairs in the cafeteria. Would you like a cup of coffee? I can bring one up for you; I know you've been here awhile."

She smiled politely and googly-eyed, "That'd be very sweet of you. Thank you, Doctor Cullen."

"Don't sweat it. I'll be back. Oh, and, as soon as they get in, make sure to page me right away."

"Will do, sir."

_Nurses. They're so fucking easy_, I thought with a grin, as I swept through the hospital, toward the stairs. _Flirt with them, get what you want, get out. And all I wanted was those results. Stat._

"Edward, there you are." Carlisle ran to me, patting me on the back as we entered the stairwell.

"Dad, nice finding you here," I said sarcastically, running down the steps. "What are you spying on me for?"

"What are you doing on the Maternity floor?"

"I thought I asked you first."

"I wasn't... spying. Just, trying to figure out where you were."

"You were spying."

"Edward. Come on."

I stopped in the middle of a flight, twisting around, "Look. Alice asked me to do something for her -- which is private, by the way -- and I thought I'd handle it nonchalantly. Meaning you aren't supposed to be asking me these questions. I have a doctor/patient confidentiality to uphold."

"Fine," he raised his hands, letting me pass by him toward the next flight, "but this worries me. Alice, I mean. She's like our daughter."

"It's none of your business dad," I hissed at him, entering the cafeteria, "drop it."

"Sure Edward," he replied.

He waited until I collected a few coffees and muffins, and paid for it, before he started up again.

He sat opposite me on the small table, and glared at me.

"What?" I growled.

Carlisle slammed an empty cup with a blue lid on it, "Piss in this."

"Excuse me?" I coughed.

"Urinate, Edward. I'm not playing."

"I don't fucking think so," I replied, gathering the stuff, standing up and walking away from him.

"No, you're going to do it."

"Under who's orders? You're not my doctor."

"No," he yelled, grabbing my arm and twisting me around, "but I am your father, and you have a friend who's upstairs lying in a hospital bed under _your _watch. Piss in the damn cup, Edward."

I glared at him, shaking my head, "I'm not fucking doing it."

"Why? Do you have something to hide?"

"No. Because I'm not in high school, living under your roof, or forced to obey your rules, like you tried to always say back when I was younger."

"You think you're so suave, like the entire world is resting gently around you. You're not the sun, Edward. The world does not revolve around you."

"I never said it was! Jesus, what are you _on_?"

"The question is, what are _you _on? And all the friends of yours that are cooped up in the cabin that Phil and I bought for our families to share? The one that Phil and Renee live in? I already know what Jacob took; it helped trigger the horrible situation he had to deal with earlier. Do you want that for yourself? For your other friends?"

"Lay off," I said, pushing him back and walking away, almost spilling the coffee all over myself.

"No, Edward, you need to listen to me." Carlisle ran in front of me, stopping my path to the stairwell. "I was sixteen years old when Esme and I had you. Your mother and I sacrificed so much to take care of you, to give you the very best we could, and we struggled for a long time. You cannot even imagine what we had to deal with! And we were alone! We didn't have any support! I didn't spend countless amounts of hours working, and neither did your mother, so you can go and run off, forgo your career, take drugs and screw around and completely push away everything you're working for! You owe us more than that! You're better than this shit!"

"I'm not messing up anything," I said, shaking my head, "Jesus. It was a _vacation_, dad. You guys act like I ran away from home and went and sought out strippers."

"You're on drugs, aren't you? If you are, your mother and I are going to take away the Children's Hospital your grandfather gave to you. You don't get complete ownership until your twenty-fifth birthday. I _will _cancel the negotiation."

"No. I'm not. And you're not touching that shit. I worked hard as hell to get that!"

"You're lying to me, Edward. I know you're smoking weed and you've been drinking a lot. What else are you doing?"

"I'm. Not. On. Drugs."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not." I chuckled, "Would it kill you to believe me?"

"Edward, how can I believe you? There was weed in the cabin, you've dumped Tanya, you're back with Bella, you're more aggressive, and I can see it in your eyes that you're lying to me. What is it? Cocaine again? Are you back on that shit? Because, I swear, if you are, I won't be able to help you deal with it again."

I scoffed, glaring at him, "If I was on cocaine, which I'm not, then I wouldn't be asking you for your help. I wouldn't be working my ass off at the hospital. I'd be out there, dealing and snorting. But I'm not. If you can't trust me, then I won't force you. But don't go around lecturing me for shit in the past."

"Why are you with Bella, Edward?"

"God, what is this? An interrogation? Because I want to be with Bella, dad. All right?"

"You're going to mess everything up for yourself. Edward, you're gonna slip, gonna get that girl pregnant, and it's all going to go downhill."

"What?" I asked, backing up as I eyed him down. "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"Drugs! Pregnancy! Messing up! Bella! I swear, Edward, your mother and I will not be able to be behind you if you start slipping under the cracks."

"That's your fucking choice," I hissed at him, passing by and heading up the staircase. "I've got _work _to do. You might want to try it. Go check on Jacob or something."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

"Jake? Wake up, honey."

I groaned, trying to cover my ears.

"Jake, you have a phone call."

"Tell them to hang up."

"It's Bryan."

Sighing, I rolled over, blindly reaching out for the phone, mumbling, "Thanks Renee."

"You're welcome honey. Here it is."

"Hello?"

"Hey Jake, how are you feeling?"

"Oh, if I had a nickel for each time someone's asked me that tonight. Uh… like ass. How about yourself?"

"Worried for you. I heard what happened. Alice texted me earlier and told me everything."

"I'm fine," I sighed. "Peachy Keen."

"You don't sound fine. What did they say?"

"Some kind of seizure thing, I guess. I don't really know all the details; I'm just ready to go home. I hate hospitals."

She sighed through the phone, "I wish I could come and see you. Going there earlier about put me in bankruptcy, so I had to find a way to get the money. Once my dad sent me the loan, I tried to book a flight out there, but it was full. The next one isn't until tomorrow night and-"

"No," I replied hastily, cutting her off. I shook my head, exhaling, "Bryan, listen. I appreciate all that, but there really is no need in you coming out here to see me. By the time you get here, I'll be out of the hospital anyway. It's a waste of money, and you have to work, and it's not necessary."

"But I want to be able to help you... be that maternal figure, I guess," she giggled.

"I don't need a maternal figure. I just need..." _Rosalie_. "...something."

"Okay," she whispered.

It got silent over the phone, and I was about to ask if she hung up. Then she whispered, "...I miss you, Jake."

I swallowed hard, closing my eyes, "...I know."

"Do you, I don't know, maybe miss me too?"

"Sure," I half-lied, scratching my face, "but I've got a lot going on, you know?"

"Sure," she replied. "I know. I guess I'll let you get to it then."

"Okay," I cleared my throat. "I'll call you when I'm back in Seattle."

"I hope so," she sighed. "Bye, Jake."

"See ya."

Hanging up, I rolled over and handed the phone back to Renee, "No more calls for me, unless it's God himself, demanding I meet him at the Pearly Gates pronto."

She giggled, rubbing my hair as she stood up, "Will do, Jake."

I nodded, covering my face with my arm.

The dream I was having about two hot secretaries and myself in my office at work was calling my name, and I was trying to get back to it ASAP. I wanted to know what happened with that stapler.

"Jake?"

I groaned, rolling over on my back, to find Emmett McCarty standing in the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Can I come in?"

"Sure," I sighed, motioning him to close the door.

He walked around, dragging a chair beside my hospital bed, "You look like hell."

"Thanks," I chuckled. "It's the new thing in style, everyone's doing it."

He smirked, "At least you've got your humor."

"Always," I grinned. "So... what's up?"

"Well, uh," he began to fidget in the chair, chewing on the inside of his cheek, "I just wanted to... I'm sorry."

I laughed, "What for?"

"For... you know... the weed."

"Em," I held up my hands, shaking my head, "really, don't. It's not your fault."

"I supplied you the weed."

"Dude, I smoke _all _the time. It wasn't the weed, or the beer, or the Xany-bar I got from Jazz or anything else. It was me -- or, well, the crack on the coffee table that put me in here. You had nothing to do with it."

He began to pout, "I feel really bad though."

"Really, Em. I'm fine. It's not like I'm dying or anything."

"Yeah," he grimaced. "That's good."

"Yeah," I chuckled.

He looked at me for a moment, blinking. It made me feel weird. I needed to change the subject.

"So, uh, I saw you and Rose hugging earlier."

He nodded, swallowing hard, "She was pretty upset that you landed in here. I was trying to comfort her."

"Rekindling old flames, perhaps?" I internally prayed that wasn't true.

He shrugged nonchalantly, "Not sure yet."

I gave him a nod, pursing my lips, "Love is difficult."

"I didn't love her."

"Pardon me?"

He sighed, meeting my eyes, "I thought I did, but, I guess now that I didn't. I wouldn't have been able to walk away as easily as I did if I had loved her."

I shrugged slightly, "Well, there are different ways to love someone. Maybe by walking away, you were proving how _you _love her... Love her enough to show her what you didn't approve of -- to be honest with her?"

He smirked, "Maybe. Do you love her?"

I looked at him, mouth hanging open.

"You know," he sighed, "like, at all?"

I nodded, swallowing hard, "You loved her enough to walk away. And... I love her enough to stay."

He furrowed his brows, thinking about my statement. It obviously didn't sink in to him, the realities of my comment, because he just chuckled and stood up, shrugging it off completely, "Right, well, I'm gonna go and hang out with Jasper. Get to feelin' better."

"I'll try," I replied, pounding his knuckles, "see ya. Tell Rosalie I say hello if you see her. She seems to be avoiding me."

He stopped at the doorway, turning to look at me again, "She doesn't want to see you hooked up to machines. She... says it scares her."

I nodded, "I understand that. Tell her though."

"Okay," he replied as he waved and shut the door.

I sighed, throwing my arm over my face.

Covering your eyes makes the room less lonely.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"So you don't think it was Jake?"

"No."

"How are you so sure?"

"Because, I know. I have a gut feeling about it."

"So who do you think it was?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

"Edward?"

"Bingo."

"Phil, come on," Renee sighed, "we may not approve of him for Bella but to automatically assume it _was _him is salacious."

"He did it, Renee."

I skidded to a stop as soon as I heard my name, and held my breath.

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because he's careless!"

I smirked, shaking my head. Then I put on a straight face and walked around, breezing past them.

"Oh, hey, Edward?"

Again, my heels made me stop. I turned around, to face Bella's parents. "Yeah?"

"Um, do you have a second? Phillip and I would like to ask you something real quick?"

"Shoot," I exhaled.

"First, why are you working at this hospital?"

"Doing a favor for someone back in Seattle. What's up?"

"Oh. Do you, um, happen to know who distributed the drugs to Jake?"

_Emmett_. "No, I do not."

"Are you sure?" Phil asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

"Yeah," I smirked, shoving my hands in my pockets, "it could have been anyone."

"Are you saying Bella could have done it?"

I glared at him, not buying into his childish entrapments. "No, it wasn't Bella."

"But you said it could have been anyone."

"It wasn't her."

"Then was it you?"

I scoffed, shaking my head, showing him my annoyance, "if it's what you believe, then sure."

"Oh you don't want to get me started on what I believe."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked

"Phil," Renee warned, at the same time.

Phil looked to his wife, biting his tongue.

"No," I said, causing him to glance back at me, "what did you mean by that?"

"You know what it means."

"Why don't you enlighten me? What do you believe?"

He smirked, "I believe you are hopeless. A worthless piece of crap, you don't listen to anyone who isn't complementing you or worshiping the ground beneath you. You're cocky, you're arrogant, and you're stubborn. You take advantage of them. And I believe that you are a poor excuse for anything that would be remotely good enough for my daughter."

"Charlie's daughter."

"She is _my _daughter."

I shook my head.

"Do you really want to start that again?" Phil asked, getting in my face. He quickly noticed that I didn't move this time, and Renee jumped between us, pushing back on Phil's chest.

"Phil, move back."

"Yeah Phil, step back." I mocked her.

He again tried to get in my face, but we were interrupted by my mother, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?"

I grinned at Phil, before twisting and tossing my arm around Esme's waist, "Nothing, mom. Phil here was... only asking me a question about the drugs."

"Oh, wake up, Esme; he's got you wrapped around his finger!"

"PHIL!" Renee shouted, while my mom asked, "What's that mean? What did you ask him?"

"It means you shouldn't let him walk all over you. I just asked him if he gave Jake the drugs."

"And... why would you assume it was Edward?" Esme asked him.

"Because it always is Edward. He uses drugs, uses you guys, for your money. He doesn't know anything about the world!"

I glared at him, "Yeah, that's why I am swinging a bat around as a profession, and you worked your ass off to get a full scholarship and study medicine, right? Oh, wait. I'm sorry. I got the roles reversed. You're the one who don't know shit about the world."

My mother ignored us, "Well how do you know it wasn't Bella?"

"Please," Phil scoffed, "she wouldn't do that."

"Oh, but Edward would?"

"Yes! He did coke before, didn't he?"

I pushed him back, cursing at him to get out of my face, and the women quickly cut between us, pushing us on separate sides.

My mother was screaming at me, in order to calm me down, but all I heard was him telling me on repeat that he was never going to let me touch Bella. That pissed me off worse.

"Carlisle!" Esme shouted, jerking me to her by my smock, "Edward, quit! Calm down, don't let him get to you!"

"I'm going to knock him out," Phil shouted over Renee, causing my mother to twist around.

Esme leaped for him, and I quickly grabbed her, pulling her back with me. I had to wrap both arms around her to get her to stand still. She was tiny, but had rage. _And people wonder where I get my attitude? My mother._

"Don't you _ever _threaten him, Phil! He is my son and I will _not _h-"

I cut her off by covering her mouth and reminding her that we were in a hospital, while Renee kept trying to gather hold of her husband. My mom got me to release her and began to storm away, running smack into Bella, who was rounding the corner.

Both of them toppled to the ground.

I ran over there, pulling Bella up and yelling at my mom, "Esme! Watch where you're going, you could have hurt her!"

"I'm sorry, Esme," Bella began apologizing.

"Jesus, watch it!" Esme shouted.

"I'm fine, Edward," Bella reassured me, as she reached down to help my mom up. "I'm sorry, Esme, are you okay?"

Esme quickly jerked away from Bella's hands after she rose to her feet, and dusted off her white dress slacks. Then she turned and glared at Phil again, "If you want to get anyone under control, I suggest it be _your _daughter and not _my _son."

"What?!" Renee shouted, her eyes bugging out of her head.

"Yeah! Your daughter was the one who cheated on my son first. Gave him heartache, spun him around her finger like a wild spool of thread! She made you pity her, give her everything, and you want to talk about my son? Please!"

"ENOUGH!" I shouted, pulling Bella to stand behind me so she didn't get caught in the way of arms swinging around. "If you three want to bitch and moan about this shit then do it by yourself! Bella and I are out of here."

"Edward!"

"SAVE IT!" I yelled, pulling Bella to me and walking away from them.

Once we rounded the corner, Bella gripped my shoulders, stopping me.

"Are you okay?" I asked her, holding onto her hips to help maintain her balance. She hadn't eaten in hours; it couldn't be doing well for her.

She nodded, swallowing hard, "Your mother hates me."

"No she doesn't, Phil just pissed her off."

"No, Edward. She does."

"Bella."

"Edward." Bella looked up at me with her wide, caramel eyes, "Listen to me. She _does_."

We could hear our parents continuing to argue, and we both frowned.

I sighed, looking at the floor beneath us, "It's been a long day. For all of us. Please don't let this get you down."

She nodded, hooking her index finger around mine, and looking down to our hands, "...Okay."

"I'm serious, Bella."

"All right. I'll try."

"Okay," I kissed her forehead, lingering there for a moment, "I've got to go."

"Where?" she asked, pulling me back to her, "I haven't seen you all night; you've been running around everywhere."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I'm trying to get everything together and figured out, while avoiding a fist fight."

"Edward?" We both turned, to see my mother Esme, hands on hips. "Your father and I would like to see you alone, please."

"Be right there," I said.

Bella tried to reach up for a hug, but I didn't notice until I started to walk away, and had to turn around to meet her again. She slumped down, pouting, "Never mind."

"Sorry," I chuckled, "didn't see you until I moved."

"Sure."

"Don't be like that," I said, winding my arms behind her waist and pulling her pelvis into mine, "I'm sorry."

I rested my chin on the top of her head, squeezing her a little.

She nodded, burying her face into my chest, "Okay."

"'K," I said, kissing her head, "I've really got to go though."

She sighed and gave me a slight nod, "Go."

I kissed the tip of her nose and her cheek once more, then turned to walk away.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I had a gut feeling that we were about to go from bad to worse.

As Edward turned to walk away, I grabbed his wrists, pulling him back, "Wait a second."

"Yeah?" he asked, looking slightly annoyed.

I frowned at him.

He took a breath, stepping toward me and placing his hands on my hips again, "Yes, my Bella?"

"Something's off with you. Did you see the results yet?"

He shook his head, "Not yet. But the hospital hooked me up with a pager, so as soon as they come in, I'll know. They're pretty distracted, they have a twin cesarean and that car accident on the interstate to deal with, and they're understaffed at the moment, plus with the storm we're having..." His voice trailed off and he shrugged, "I guess that we're not at the top of list of priorities at the moment."

"Can't you just go and do the tests yourself?"

"No, they won't give me lab access."

"Did you ask them? You can talk anyone into anything."

He twitched his lips, pulling me into him, "It's going to be okay, Bella. Please don't worry."

"I want to know, Edward."

"So do I," he replied offensively. "But there isn't a whole lot I can do. I don't have jurisdiction here, despite what you may be thinking. If Dr. Sherber found out that I'm even _tinkering _down here, forging his signature so I can run these tests as a sub-Head... I would be seriously reprimanded. _Please _don't add any pressure on me tonight."

I swallowed hard, figuring since I bit the bullet, I may as well chew it as well. "I feel like you're pulling away from me. Slowly but surely. You've hardly been around me, and we've been here since, what, one this morning? I know you. I know when something is wrong, and... Something is wrong."

He threw the ends of his smock back, tucking his hands in his jeans pocket, "Bella. _Nothing _is wrong with me."

"You're lying to me."

"How do you know?"

"Because your eyes turn to the left when you lie. They always have. You get a little smile forming on the corners of your mouth, and you can't make direct eye contact with me."

He cleared his throat, bent his knees so he could slump down to my eye-level, and looked me directly in the eyes.

Then he spoke each word slowly, and sarcastically, "Nothing. Is. Wrong. Please. Stop. Worrying. I. Cannot. Have. You. Stressing. Out. On. Me. _Okay_?"

I glared at him, not bothering to reply.

"Son? Come on, your father is waiting."

Edward turned to look at his mom down the hall, then back at me and shrugged, "I've got to go."

I stepped back, motioning for him to leave.

He opened his lips, starting to say something, but quickly shut them. Then he turned and walked away. I watched as he jogged toward Esme, who looked more like something out of _Riches_ magazine, with her white slacks and long, brown, elegant shirt, than a mother at a local hospital. She laughed as he tossed his arm over her shoulder, and she wound her arm around his waist. I could hear her laughing get louder as they turned the corner, fading in the distance. It made my stomach churn.

I didn't believe a word that came out of his mouth earlier. And it wasn't my insecurities talking. It wasn't the drama in the hospital. He didn't know the results, so that couldn't be it... but something is definitely wrong. When he looked at me, his eyes didn't glimmer as much. When he touched me, it felt like it was forced, as if he were trying to 'reassure' me, instead of doing it because he wanted to. When he was around me, he suddenly had other stuff to do.

No, this wasn't insecurity. This was something else.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I decided I needed some 'me' time.

I sat on a picnic table outside and looked up at the stars. I went for a walk. I sat in the cafeteria and drank a hot tea.

I thought about my favorite books, movies, quotes... anything to distract me. Obviously, this didn't work, as Edward was all I ever thought about anymore.

An hour later, I caved in, and headed back toward Jake's room. On the way, I decided to make a stop at the maternity floor. I don't know why, really.

It's not that I believe the results for me will be positive; I don't. I placed a hand on my stomach once I was in the elevator, and it felt empty to me.

But being there, surrounded by the beautiful smell of baby powder, freshness, and new beginning's... I loved it. I was mesmerized. I stepped closer to the windows, wishing that they didn't have the metal blocks covering them. I wanted to see all the babies behind the wall. I wanted to watch them sleep. Wanted to hear them coo.

And I couldn't figure out why I was having these feelings. I'm only twenty-two years old. I have insecurities. I could barely walk without falling, think and talk at the same time, or pay my electric and my water bills in the same month... I'm just a child myself. Was I ready for this, if the results happened to be positive? Could I handle this responsibility? The idea that some little person is going to be looking up to me for guidance, asking me what to do, what to think, what to say, what to believe?

I sighed, pressing my forehead against the glass. Edward was weird tonight.

Maybe he was just having a bad day. Maybe he wasn't drifting from me. Maybe it was all really in my head.

The more I stood there, head against the glass, hand on empty belly, I began to miss him. I wanted more than anything for him to tell me what we were now. Wanted him to scoop me in his arms, and reassure me that he was what I needed, and I was what he wanted.

Everything else in my life, I had. I _knew _I had it. House, car, job... But Edward? That answer was still in obscurity. The haunting, destitute, piercing darkness.

Humming a song that was in my head, I headed toward Jake.

After I climbed the stairs, I rounded the corner, to find Edward, Esme, and Carlisle in a tight little triangle, whispering words that I could barely make out. Instantly, my stomach began to twist and turn erratically, making tight clenches against my will that about sent me into a heave attack.

I skidded to a stop, peering my head slowly around the corner. Edward looked tense and frustrated, his fingers into fists at his sides. His mother Esme had her arms crossed over her chest, and his father Carlisle was holding onto a clipboard by his side.

None of them looked happy.

"Explain it to me then Edward," Carlisle was saying, "because I'm having a hard time understanding you right now."

"Would you keep your voice down, dad? This is a hospital."

"I'm aware of that, Edward, and I'm not speaking loud. Stop changing the subject; this is what you always do when you don't want to talk about something. Explain."

"What do you want to know?" Edward hissed. "What exactly aren't you getting?"

"Why are you with her? Where is Tanya? Why do you keep avoiding my questions and my phone calls?"

"Dad I talked to you for an hour that one day!"

"Avoiding my questions!"

"Oh my...." Edward exhaled, shaking his head. "Tanya was never my girlfriend and I don't know how else to stress that."

"Edward she was always with you, especially these past couple months!" Esme interjected. "If she wasn't your girlfriend, then what was she?"

"A piece of ass!" Edward admitted through a sarcastic chuckle. "What do you think?"

"Lower your tone around your mother Edward." Carlisle warned.

"Mom, come on. Tanya is not the girl for me."

"And Bella is? Since you've got it all figured out?"

My stomach was seriously doing some acrobatic moves now, hearing my name fall from them. I knew this conversation was going to lead to me.

"Mom, would you stop throwing Bella into every conversation?"

"No, Edward, I won't! I'm worried about you! For crying out loud, remember every single time you guys fought? Every time you argued, threw each other out of the house? That time you got suspended for two weeks for pummeling that kid -- what was his name? -- That Newton boy, for grabbing Bella's butt! Do you remember that one specific conversation you and I had after that horrible break up? This isn't like you to go back to misery. And that's what you were, miserable."

"Lower your voice, she could be around here somewhere."

"No she isn't. For crying out loud, Edward, your mother and I saw her downstairs. Now you're not getting out of this."

"I don't have to explain anything to you."

"Edward," Carlisle replied, as his voice got soft. "We are your friends too. We're concerned. Please, just... talk to us."

"What I don't understand is," Esme continued, "though your father and I do not approve of this, why don't you just ask her o-"

"Because I don't want to! Jesus! Okay? Is that what you want to hear?"

"Edward," Esme gasped.

I clutched my hand to my throat, trying to prevent it from closing up all the way. The back of my head began to pulse with pressure. I closed my eyes, regretfully listening more.

Edward was talking, and I caught, "...I don't _want _Bella to be my girlfriend! All right? I'm sorry, but I don't. And, maybe I'm not _interested _in being her boyfriend. I'm not looking for that commitment."

"Why not?" they asked at the same time.

"Because I don't. Do you _remember _our relationship back in high school? Obviously you do, which is why you're so hell-bent against us getting together right now. But yeah, you're right. We had some bad moments. I know this, she knows this. It wasn't all easy. No relationship is. But man... I honestly feel sometimes like those four years together were a waste of time. It was pointless! We worked our asses off to stay together, _despite _parents, _despite _gossip, _despite _rumors and everything else... And where did it get us? Nowhere. Nada. Nothing. That relationship was hopelessly doomed from the start."

I slid down the pillar and swiped away angry tears as I tuned out the rest of their conversation.

I heard all I needed to hear.

Edward didn't want to be in a relationship with me, after all. That's why he never took it to the next step, never defined us. He said he wasn't looking for a commitment. He said we were a waste of time. He basically said that he wasn't choosing me.

_Why would he lie to me? How could he look me in the eyes and give me false hopes and broken promises? _

_Why would he reassure me that I had nothing to worry about? How could he make love to me? And how on EARTH could he tell me he loved me and convince me he meant it?_

Sobbing, I cradled my face in my hands. None of this made sense. But hearing Edward -- actually listening to his voice that was once soothing and comforting to me -- say that he didn't want me...

My heart broke.

And I was back to stage one, just as I was four years ago when we broke up the first time: Alone. Numb. Devoid. Repressed. Abandoned.

I cradled my stomach and looked around, watching the nurses in their scrubs passing through the halls.

Heard the thunder pounding outside.

Listened to the phone ring and the doctors whispering and patients sobbing and machines beeping.

The earth seemed to still be spinning.

But my world? ...It was still.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

This was... awkward.

I glanced at the clock, clearing my throat. Ten am.

And I was sitting here in the cafeteria, with everyone but Jacob.

The parents asked us to all have breakfast with them, no excuses -- sparing Jake, since he was resting.

Why they asked us, I couldn't figure it out. No one was talking.

Carlisle was eating a breakfast omelet, while Esme silently stirred her coffee. Alice held my hand, fingering her French toast sticks and picking pieces to chew slowly. I ate a sandwich. Emmett was to my left, chewing down on a pile of mixed food he shoved on the tiny plastic plate. Rosalie gawked at him in horror, before turning to drink her orange juice and finish her toast. She didn't seem too hungry. Next was Phil, at the other end from Carlisle, glancing at Bella. Renee was beside him, stroking her fingers through Bella's hair while she sipped her coffee. Bella just stared blankly at the table, seeming very dazed and uncomfortable. Nauseated, even. Beside her was Edward, glasses on top of his hair, stirring cream into his coffee and munching slowly on a bagel.

I cleared my throat, leaning to my girlfriend to whisper in her ear, "What's the deal? Why are they all zombies?"

She shrugged, sticking a piece in her mouth, before turning to me, "Don't know, sweetie. Maybe it's a flu bug that's going around the hospital."

I smirked, shaking my head and whispering back, "Did the bug in question happen to crawl up everyone's ass and die?"

She giggled, but quickly cleared her throat and put on a mask like everyone else, slapping me on my leg.

I massaged the back of her neck, glancing over at Bella, who sat across from me at the table.

She seemed so out of it.

My first reaction was to hop over the table and cradle her, like I would have a month ago.

But I couldn't do that now. Things were different, weren't they? Yes. They were.

I sighed, sipping my water.

I listened as Edward cleared his throat, and watched Bella snap her neck in his direction. "Eat, love," he whispered to her, as he threw his arm over the back of her chair, "you need to."

She looked at him, her eyes almost watering over. She ignored his statement all together. Then she blinked away her emotions, and turned, to stare at her untouched orange juice in front of her. She seemed to zone out on it.

I didn't like it. She seemed numb. Dead to the world. Not the Bella I knew and cared for.

I caught a glimpse of Phil gawking at Edward. He didn't like him having his arm over the back of her chair, and he certainly didn't like Edward "barking orders" to her, as he put it in front of us in the cafeteria, when Edward asked if she liked orange juice, before suggesting it'd be a good idea for her to drink some and gain some energy.

He never acted this way before. This was a new side of Phil. I've known him for three years, and he seems to be a very loving, caring step-father. Loved Bella like she was his own.

I understood Edward was her ex and he didn't want them back together, but for crying out loud. _If his eyes could shoot bullets..._

I noticed Edward looking up at me, and gave him a slightly comforting, slightly confused smile. _I feel your pain, buddy._

He gave me a timid nod, before sipping on his coffee again. "Bella," he whispered, nodding his head to her orange juice.

She sighed, reaching out to pick it up.

As she did, a hand slammed hard on the table, echoing the walls of the hospital cafeteria. It startled all of us, as well as a few people sitting around us, and forced Bella's trembling hands to knock over the full glass, spilling the contents everywhere.

We all began to shuffle around to help clean it up, while Bella began to apologize, but Phil stayed put, glaring at Edward. "Stop demanding things to her, Edward, or so help me God, you will pay! This is not a Stepford wife. She is our daughter, and you will treat her with respect! Do you understand me?"

"Phil," Bella warned, shaking more, "it's okay. Edward was only-"

"No," Phil cut her off, "he needs to learn how to talk to you! He cannot bark orders to you like you're some sort of do-"

"DAD!" Bella shouted, causing us to freeze.

She never called him that before.

Renee's eyes grew wide, while Carlisle and Edward began arguing with each other, and Esme was yelling at Phil for what he said to her son.

I glanced at Bella, who was still trying to clean up the mess on the table. She couldn't seem to get a hold of herself, or her shaking.

Instantly, I hopped out of my chair and went around, pulling her from it. Edward glared at me, but I leaned down and whispered to him, "I'm getting her out of here. We'll be in that empty waiting room across from Jake's."

He nodded, rubbing his face a few times, before chiming into to argue over everyone else who was shouting.

I couldn't make sense of it. Too many people talking at once, all screaming above each other. Battling for the last word.

After Bella and I were inside the solitary of the elevator, I punched the button to the floor and turned to her, "Are you okay?"

She nodded, wrapping herself in her arms.

"You don't look okay."

"I'm fine," she replied, her voice cracking and barely audible.

I pulled her into me, hugging her with all my might, "I don't believe you."

I could feel her tensing between my arms, putting on her invisible armor like she did before. I wasn't having that shit. We've been friends for too damn long, and I wasn't going to let her slip beneath the cracks again. Helping her get over Edward, helping her move on from the James incident... I could help her with whatever was going on this time too.

That's what I was here for. Regardless of whether or not we ended up together.

Once we got into the empty waiting room, I closed the door and sat her down. Quickly sliding over a chair, I sat in front of her, placing my hands on her knees.

"Talk to me, Bella."

She opened her mouth and moved it like she was talking, but no words came out. She didn't try to speak a second time.

I watched as a salty tear overflowed her lid, then slid down her cheek, resting to hang at the bottom of her chin.

It crushed me.

"Bella, what happened?" I whispered, wiping her tear with my thumb as I caressed her face. "Talk to me sweetheart."

She sobbed, wiping more tears away with the back of her hand.

Her eyes began to bounce, from her arms cradling her stomach, to the carpet, to the frames on the wall, to the windows, then back down to her arms.

"He, uh..." she whispered, bouncing her legs against the chair, "...doesn't _want _us."

"Who?" I asked.

She looked up at me weakly, slouching her shoulders over, "Edward. He doesn't want... US."

"Us?" I asked, motioning between her body and mine.

She shook her head, looking down at my hands on her knees, "Me and him."

"That makes no sense. When did he say that?"

"About an hour ago," she choked out. Her voice was awfully weak.

"No," I shook my head, rubbing her knees, "Edward would never say that."

"He did," she whimpered. "...Right from the horse's mouth."

"You must have misunderstood him. ...He _loves _you, Bella."

She scoffed, swiping more tears, "Love? Yeah. He said I was a _waste_."

"_What_?" I asked, unable to disguise my shock. "Why would he say that?"

She shrugged, her tears flowing more frequently now, "I don't know! If I knew, I wouldn't be sitting here crying right now. I would have accepted it and moved _on_. But I don't know, I don't..." Her voice trailed off as her tears blocked her sound. She sobbed, rubbing her face. "I don't know what happened to him."

"Bella," I sighed, caressing her arms, "when did he say this?"

"'Bout an hour ago."

"Did he tell you to your face?"

"No," she exhaled, sniffling. "He's being a coward about it."

"Then... how do you know he said that?"

"I overheard him talking to Carlisle and Esme in the hall."

"Does Edward know you heard them talking?"

She shook her head, clutching her throat.

I frowned. "Have you confronted him about it?"

"Jasper!" she shouted, slapping her hands angrily on her legs, "_look _at me! I'm a wreck. If I can barely talk to _you _without crumpling over, how do you think I'd be able to look at _him_? To face him and his words? To watch him tell me he doesn't _want _me?"

Bella started crying, bending over and tugging on her hair, "...I'm weak again. Like before."

The one thing I was never able to explain was, how I could feel her emotions. This was more than just empathy and sympathy combined... Every thing she was feeling... that clenching in her heart, that closing in her throat, that burn in her eyes... I felt it too.

And I wanted to take it away from her. I wanted to heal her.

I pulled her closer to me, hugging her tight, "Bella, there must be a misunderstanding. You must have heard it and assumed, which I don't blame you for, but... Edward loves you. I know it, everyone knows it. It's written all over his face, every single time he _looks _at you."

She was crying against my shoulder, her tiny fingers clutching pieces of my shirt in anger.

"Shhh angel," I whispered, rubbing her back. "It's going to be okay."

"I heard him Jasper. He said I was a waste, that he didn't want me as his girlfriend. He said our relationship back then was pointless.... The list of negatives goes on and on."

I rested my chin on her head, rocking her side to side slowly, "I promise, Bella. I don't th-"

"Stop Jasper," she whimpered, broken. She pulled me to her, throwing her arms around me as she continued her tearful assault on my shoulder. "Just stop. It's over."

"No," I replied. "I don't think so. Something's boiling under the surface of that, something you missed, perhaps?"

She shook her head, "I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me. Despite how much it _kills _me to think of a life without him in it... I don't want that."

I nodded, not replying. The only comeback I had was, _now you know how I felt when I cared for you_, but I could never say that to her. That was water under the bridge.

So instead, I did what I used to do when she'd cry on me: I kissed her head, her cheek, her shoulder... I brushed through her hair with my hands...

I cradled her in my arms and let her get it all out.

Because Bella was too beautiful to be so broken.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I ran inside the hospital, skidding on the bare floor with my ballet flats.

If it hadn't been from the nice man wearing the fireman outfit, I would have eaten the reception desk.

I dropped everything I was holding, and we both bent down to pick it up at the same time, banging our heads together.

"Ow!" I cried, falling on my butt and holding my forehead.

"I'm sorry ma'am, are you okay?"

I nodded, as he handed me my things.

We quickly stood back up, and I blew out a gust of wind, "Sorry about the collision, but I've got to run! Hope I didn't give you a concussion!"

The elevator seemed to take forever and a day to get to the eighth floor.

Again, I slid when I hit the bare floor.

_Damn storms outside weren't doing anything for me today._

I breezed past a few parents, and someone grabbed my waist, pulling me into a broom closet area.

I squealed, twirling around.

"EDWARD!" I gasped, slapping him hard, "Don't do that! Haven't you ever seen that episode of _Grey's Anatomy_ where that killer was on the loose?! I about went kung-fu on you!"

"Sorry," he replied, as I tossed him his grey hoodie.

"I got there, got back, got everything and they didn't even notice I was gone, I don't think," I exhaled. "And I got the results. Rosalie's-"

"I know," he replied, pulling off his white doctor smock, and throwing the grey hoodie on. "I finally got the results from all the lab work."

"So you know that R-"

"Yes," he cut me off again. "I know."

I nodded, looking into his green eyes, "So, uh, what do you think about it?"

He shrugged, shoving his hands through the front pocket of his shirt, "Jake's going to be released this hour."

"Yeah?" I squealed. "Good. This place is so... _plain_. It's driving me crazy. We've spent so much time here, I was about to start painting the walls."

He chuckled, scratching his head, "That sounds like typical Alice."

"Edward?" I asked, clutching his bicep, "Are you okay?"

He closed his eyes, nodding. His face showed a lot of... tension.

"Are you sure? Because you're not happy, and you should be happy, knowing that you're not goi-"

"I'm fine," he said, giving me a hug. He took the home pregnancy tests from my purse and snapped them in half, before opening a roll of paper towels and wrapping them in them. "We need to get out of here. Was there anyone in the hall that we know?"

"No, but Renee and Esme are around the corner, making up from earlier, I guess."

"Okay. Let's go."

We quickly escaped the smelly broom closet and acted like we'd been in the hall for awhile.

"By the way," I said, turning to face my best friend again, "remind me to smack you when we get back into the cabin for telling Carlisle that you were running pap tests on me, okay? Because I owe you one."

He chuckled, messing up the top of my hair, "Yeah yeah."

"Oh, and Edward?"

He turned, sticking his hands in his jean pocket.

"Talk to your mom. She loves you."

He looked at me, in thought. Then he gave me a nod, and turned back around, heading toward the mothers.

I, however, needed to find Jasper.

I had one hour to create my fantasy of secret hospital bed sex.

Public indecency was about to be better here, than in a dressing room. I couldn't wait!

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Standing directly behind my mother, I cleared my throat.

Both her and Renee stopped gossiping about Jacob and whatever else, and turned to face me.

I smiled at them.

Esme giggled, while Renee was trying to figure out if I was going to go off or tell a joke.

"Can I steal her away from you, Renee?"

She nodded, not saying anything as she smiled.

I gave her a nod, before pulling my mom to my side.

"What's the matter, baby? When did you change?"

"Had an extra sweater in the Jeep. Alice went down and got it for me."

"Did you get all your work done here?"

"Yes. Are they signing the release papers for Jake?"

"Close to it. Your father is in there discussing with Dr. Hollingston right now about further Seattle arrangements."

"Do you think the seizures will be more repetitive now?"

She sighed as we stepped outside on the roof of the hospital, and leaned over the side, "Let's hope not."

I gave her a nod.

We stood in silence for a few moments, staring up at the dreary cloud coverage.

"Another shitty day I presume," I began.

She nodded, rubbing my back, "Most likely."

I took a sip of my coffee and cleared my throat, "Mom, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure baby."

I took a deep breath, "About that night that Bella and I broke up. The last time."

My mother's jaw clenched as she watched a black bird in the sky, "Yes?"

I sucked in my top lip, buying some time to think.

I didn't know where to begin.

**FLASH!~~~**

_"Edward?" My mom asked as she zipped up her jacket, "What are you doing out here?"_

_I took a heavy swallow, looking up at the stars in the sky. My back was cold, lying on top of the hood of my silver Volvo, and it was beginning to get uncomfortable._

_But I didn't care. _How can anyone care when they're broken?

_"Baby?"_

_I took a swig of Jose, and wiped my face on the back of my hand, "Nothing."_

_"Is that alcohol?"_

_"Yep," I replied coldly._

_She sighed, climbing up on my hood beside me. "Why are you drinking again?"_

_"Why not?" I scoffed._

_"Edward."_

_"Mom, please. Don't fucking bark at me, okay. Just let me drink."_

_I could hear her sigh. "Did you, uh, talk to her?"_

_"Yep."_

_She turned to face me, but I wouldn't look at her. "And?"_

_I pursed my lips, focusing on one star, "It's over, mama."_

_"She wasn't buying it then?"_

_I shook my head, "Go ahead and laugh, let's hear it."_

_"Baby I would never laugh at you. I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I promise that y-"_

_I cut her off by launching up into a sitting position, and tossing the left-over contents in the glass bottle against the garage door, "Just SHUT THE FUCK UP! Okay? Mom, can you do that for me? Stop fucking promising me shit, because it doesn't_ help. _You can't promise me_ anything. _How can you promise something about someone else? You don't know their_ intentions, _their _thoughts_. You don't know their_ feelings_. How the_ fuck _can you guarantee me_ shit?!"

_"Edward," she exhaled, holding her hands in surrender mode, "please calm down."_

_"Don't tell me to fucking calm down," I spat, sliding off the hood and pacing around the front, "my life is over."_

_"Your life isn't over baby," she pleaded, looking over at me with sad eyes. "It's hard, I know it's hard, but it's not over."_

_I turned to her, fire blazing from my eyes and ears. _

_"Don't tell me that you_ know_," I spat venom at her. "Because you_ don't _know. You don't know how this shit_ _feels_. _This _pain, _this _hurt, _just fucking..." _

_I began to clutch my jacket over my heart, balling pieces of the fabric in my fist so tight I could rip it to shreds with my hands, "...this_ aching shit. _You don't know anything about_ this."

_I watched as my mother fought back tears, and it made me hurt worse._

_"She doesn't fucking want me," I replied, kicking the top of the broken bottle across my driveway. "She said it, loud and clear. It's fucking OVER."_

_"Baby, listen to me," my mom replied, sliding off my hood and running to cradle my face in her hands, "I know you're upset, and you have every right to be. Phillip should have handled it differently, he shouldn't have hurt you and called the cops, and your father is taking care of that now, okay? But listen to me son. I know you're heartbroken, I can see it in your eyes. But being angry isn't going to make her come back to you, okay? You need to give her time, and yourself time. You both just... need time to think. To recess. Okay?"_

_I slumped over drunkenly, and sat down on the cold pavement._

_My mother knelt in front of me, wiping away my stupid fucking tears I was releasing._

_"I hate her," I whispered into my mom's arm. "I fucking_ HATE _her for this shit."_

_"Shhh, it's going to be okay."_

_I shook my head, "It's not. Don't you see it, mom? It's not going to be okay."_

_"Shhh, I've got you."_

_"Stupid crying like a fucking baby," I mumbled into her jacket, "fucking crying shit. What the fuck."_

_"It's okay to cry angel."_

_I shook my head again, fighting back more threats of anger that wanted to boil up and make me start fucking swinging, "I'll never forgive her, or myself for this shit."_

_"Shhh, Edward. Don't say that."_

_"I won't."_

_My mom let me cry in her arms, let me curse and swear and throw swings and everything else._

_She let me rampage, break shit in her kitchen, go off on her and my father._

_She let me vent and miss a week of school, despite finals._

_...She let me figure out a way to breathe _without _Bella._

_And though I was numb, I remember her coming into my bedroom that same night._

_And I told her something we've never forgotten: "Mom, promise me something. No matter what I do or say. No matter how much I beg and plead and throw tantrums and say it's what I want... Promise me that you'll never let me get that close to Bella again. Ever. I never want to put myself in a position like this again. If I make it out of this hell, just... promise me you'll never let me fall for her again."_

_She put my head in her lap, brushing her fingers through my hair, "I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy, baby. I'll do my part. I'll fight for you."_

_"Promise me."_

_She bent down, kissing my temple, "I promise baby."_

**~~~FLASH!**

Esme took a deep sigh, snapping me back to the present.

I reached over, rubbing her back, "I know you know what I'm thinking about."

"I do."

"And that's why you're against Bella, isn't it?"

My mother turned to face me, her eyes watering slightly, "I don't want to fix my broken son again, Edward. It took you _years _to move on from her. And as soon as you did, when your father and I thought we were all in the clear with that pessimistic past and everything included... it's crept up on us again."

I pulled her close, giving her a hug, "Mom, I'm not seventeen anymore. I know what I said and asked of you, but I'm thinking clearly and looking with both eyes open-"

"I can't do it, Edward."

"_Please _trust me," I begged.

She shook her head, "You weren't seventeen when you started doing heavy drugs. You weren't seventeen when you drank yourself into a stupor for two months after seeing Bella at that baseball game with Jasper, when she didn't know you were there. You weren't-"

"I get it," I cut her off.

"Those things that happened, they weren't four years ago. They were _one _year ago."

I frowned, "I know."

"Do you see what I'm getting at here?"

"Do you see what _I'm _getting at, mom? Why would Bella be in my life if she weren't meant to be in there, for _some _reason?"

"To make you stupid."

"Mom," I sighed, rubbing her arms.

"Edward," she held my face between her hands, forcing me to look at her, "I love you so much. You're my arms and my legs, every beat of my heart. You're my baby, you know? My only son. Besides Katherine Angel, may she rest in peace, you're _it _for me. ...It's my job as your mother to protect _your _heart. It's my job as a mother to protect you in any way that I _can_."

I kissed her forehead, and gave her a tight hug, "I'm sorry for what I put you through."

She soiled my sweater with her tears, and this time, it was me letting her cry it all out.

All her worries, her fears, and her heartache from all the fucking stupid ass shit I put her through.

And when she was done, I brushed the hair from her shoulders, and swiped the tears from her eyes, "I love you mom. No matter what, okay?"

She sighed, wiping mascara from beneath her eyes, "Why does that sound like something someone says before they leave for good?"

I chose not to answer that. Instead I reassured her that I'd be there for her and dad always, and that I was going to make the best decisions for myself.

I'm not sure if she believed me or not.

But it had to be said.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

"Hey you."

I opened my eyes, to find Rosalie's face about an inch from mine.

I wasn't expecting that, so I pushed back into the pillows, blinking a few times.

She giggled.

"Hey," I groaned, rubbing my eyes, "what time is it?"

"It's around three now."

"AM or PM?"

"PM."

"Mmm," I stretched out, wincing at the needle in my hand, "when the fuck do I get to go home?"

"Soon."

I looked up at her, and brushed her blonde hair off her left shoulder, "It's about time you brought your skinny ass in this room to see me. I was beginning to think I stunk or something."

"Well you do," she teased, "but they disconnected that one beeping machine and a few others while you were resting, so it made it easier to come in here."

"I see."

We looked at each other and smiled simultaneously, causing us to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"_What_?" she giggled.

"What?" I asked again, poking at her leg.

She blushed, "What?"

We laughed again.

She looked so beautiful, wearing holey jeans and an oversized sweatshirt she only wore to bed back in Seattle.

"You look nice in normal clothes," I said.

She slapped me on my arm, then thought about my statement, and grinned at the compliment, "Thanks Jake."

"I mean it. It's nice to see you without fancy shit on all the time."

"Just like it'd be nice to see you in a bright color for once, mister I-wear-dark-colors-twenty-four-seven-because-it-makes-me-look-tough?"

I shrugged, "Sure. I'll let you dress me in something bright. You can bury me in it, that way I'll be dead and can't complain."

She giggled, "I'll remember that."

We sat in silence for a few moments.

"Jake?" she asked, as she picked up my hand, turned it upside down, and began to run lazy circles on the inside of my palm, "Have we ever said 'I love you' to each other before?"

My heart skipped, "We say... 'I heart you' and stuff. I'm sure we have and haven't noticed, but nothing in particular I can think of."

She furrowed her brows, confusion written all over her face.

"What is it?" I asked, sitting up in the bed.

She exhaled, turned to face me, and swept my face up in her hands, "Look at me."

"I am. I can't look anywhere else when you're squeezing my face like this."

She fought back a smile, and pulled me closer to her, "I do _love _you Jake. You're probably my most favorite person in this entire world, and I don't want that to change."

I smiled, feeling the warmth in my chest envelop my body. "That's good."

"Do you love me too?"

I studied her expression, licking my lips in thought.

I had to really _think _about how I wanted to answer that question, without telling her how I felt about her and scaring her away.

She frowned, mistaking my silence for denial.

I quickly shook my head, cradling her face in my hands, "Rosalie, look at me."

"It's okay if you don't," she began to stammer, shaking her head, "I underst-"

"I do love you," I exhaled.

She looked at me, her bright eyes piercing through my body. _GOD, did I love her._

It made my heart burn, thinking about the feelings I enveloped and hid from her over these years.

We stared at each other, holding each other's faces in our hands.

I wanted to kiss her so fucking badly, I could taste her on my lips.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled her closer to me, my mouth a few inches from hers. "I do love you Rose," I whispered. "You _are _my favorite person. ...Even when we bicker and fight... none of that stuff matters. It doesn't matter if you like fucking _Gossip Girl _and I don't, or I like to watch fucking _Texas Hold'Em_ matches on television and it annoys you... I don't care about any of that. We've had so many good memories... I don't think there's a whole lot about you that I don't know, and vice-versa."

She tilted her head, smiling sweetly at me, "Like what?"

I grinned at her, brushing her bottom lip with my thumb, "Like... your favorite color is white. You eat spaghetti without any hamburger in it -- just sauce. ...Like the fact that you run water when you're in the bathroom because you have an OCD about people hearing you pee. And... you only purchase Honey Oat Shampoo because you say it's best for your hair, though it costs half your paycheck. You only eat the green grapes, and you love celery with ranch dressing. ...You love blueberry muffins and bread, but hate blueberries. You love tomatoes on tacos, but not on hamburgers..."

She giggled, sniffling.

"...You chew on the right side of your bottom lip when you're thinking. You tap your fingernails on the desk when you're aggravated at the computer... You smile whenever you see Chase Crawford on television and get really angry whenever one of those girls on the TV kiss him..."

She laughed louder, her beautiful teeth shining as her tongue bounced in her mouth.

She looked so happy in front of me. It made _me _happy.

I tucked some stray blonde hairs behind her right ear, lifting her chin with my left hand as I licked my lips. "...You secretly wonder if you're good enough, but know inside your heart that you are... In fact, I think you're better than anyone else..."

She sighed, clenching my arm with her fingers, then looking up at me.

"... and," I whispered, brushing her pink cheeks with my fingers while my heart began to bounce inside of my throat, "...I knew you loved me before you ever had to say it."

A whimper escaped her lips, and that light around her happy face dimmed with her frown, as she tilted her head down.

"Just as you knew I loved you before ever having to ask me...," I whispered, ending my proof.

"Oh, Jake," she whimpered, covering her face in her hands, "I'm such a mess."

"No you're not."

"I _am_," she nodded, hiding her face more, "I'm so ...confused."

"It's okay to be confused sometimes," I reassured her. "It cleanses your soul."

She shook her head, straightening her emotions back to a calm. Then she took a deep breath, and let it out slowly.

I knew it was time. Time to tell her how I felt. Time to tell her that she was the one for me, and I'd do whatever it takes to-

"Rosalie?"

_Fuck_.

She turned, clearing her throat, "Hey, Emmett."

"Can I talk to you for a second?"

She nodded, and stood up.

I caught her by the wrist, pulling her down to me, "Rose, just... be smart, okay? No matter what. Open your eyes and think things through."

She smiled weakly at me, "I always do." _Sure you do._

I watched her walk out, and Emmett toss his arm over her shoulders as the door closed.

_God, get me out of this hospital._

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I threw my arm over her shoulders, pulling her into my side.

"How you holding up?" I asked her as we breezed through the hallway.

She shrugged, not bothering to wrap her arm around me, "Okay, I guess."

"Are you happy we're almost out of here? Damn hospitals make me stuffy."

She gave me a nod, not bothering to answer.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You seem distant or something."

"How would you know?" she mumbled under her breath.

I stopped us by the soda machine, pulling her in front of me, "What's that mean?"

Rosalie looked up at me, frown permanent on her face, "It means, how would you know how I seem, when you barely got the chance to know the real me?"

I furrowed my brows at her, "Where did that come from?"

"What?"

"The bitterness. You're not making any sense. Of course I would know."

"How?"

"Because..." I shrugged, trying to come up with something, "you were my girlfriend?"

She scoffed, shaking her head.

Her attitude was not warm at all, and it was pissing me off, "What? What did I do?"

"_'Because you were my girlfriend'_?_" _she quoted me, tossing her hands on her hips. "Tell me, Emmett, was that a statement or a question?"

"Uh... which part?"

"The whole thing."

I shrugged, "I dunno."

"You can't even answer a question without asking another one. It's like you're not sure of me at all, or yourself for that matter?"

"Rosalie, as per usual, I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Of course you don't."

"Huh?"

"Of course y-"

"I heard you, I just don't... you're confusing the fuck out of me right now. And none of us have hardly gotten any sleep, we've all been wallowing around this fucking hospital for a day, and you're not making it easy on my brain here."

She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring up at me, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I don't know if I even want to bring it up, with your attitude."

"What, Emmett? What is it?"

I glowered back at her. She was seriously pissing me off. I was debating whether or not it was even worth it.

"Speak," she hissed at me.

I took a deep breath, "I was going to tell you that I think I made a mistake in letting you go..."

That made her glare turn downright _evil_. She looked at me like I just slapped her across the face.

"What?" I chuckled, "What did I say wrong now?"

Again she quoted me, "You weregoing to tell me that you thought you made a mistake? WERE, _Emmett_?"

"Yeah."

"And now you're not?"

"Well, technically I _did_, but... your attitude isn't making my decision any more rainbow-y."

"You are un-_fucking_-believable!"

I grinned at her, "I get that a lot."

"I don't mean it in a good way, you bastard."

"Well, I'm sorry for trying to lighten the mood," I replied hastily, "but you're acting like a bitch and it's not helping me."

"Don't call me a bitch."

"I didn't," I scoffed, "I said you're acting like a bitch -- which you are. I didn't do anything wrong to you. I've been nice all day, and I came here to apologize-"

"Just save it," she shouted, cutting me off.

I pulled my neck back, looking at her in shock. "Save what?"

"Save your bullshit."

"Rose, look, I came here in hopes of reuin-"

"Emmett," she replied, looking down to the ground, "what's my favorite TV show?"

"Uh..." I scratched my head, "that dumbass _Hills_ show?"

"No. My favorite color, or my favorite food?"

"I.... honestly have no idea."

"That's right," she replied, "you don't."

I took a step back, crossing my arms over my chest, mirroring her posture, "...What's this about, Rose? Are you saying that I _don't _love you? That I'm _not _sorry for breaking up with you? Are you trying to put words in my mouth, because I don't make up with anyone, and I'm seriously _trying _here."

She nodded solemnly, before slowly looking up at me. And her expression... her fucking eyes... they were empty.

I immediately wanted to hold her, but I fought that thought. She would probably slap me if I tried.

"Tell me what I can do, Rose."

She cleared her throat, "...If you really cared, you wouldn't have to ask."

"I do care. I wouldn't be standing here talking to you if I didn't."

She sniffled, clearing her throat as she looked down at my shoes.

"Tell me. Rose, tell me, so I can fix this."

"You can't," she whispered.

"Why can't I?"

She stood in silence, and it about killed me.

I hated fucking silence.

Silence was never good, and it filled the entire building.

"Why can't I, Rose?" I repeated.

She took a deep breath, and looked back up at me, directly in my eyes, "...Because you don't know me at all."

I was stunned.

Mouth hanging open, eyes frozen... The whole fucking kit-and-caboodle.

Stuck.

"I...uh..." I stammered, trying to figure out a way to argue with her and defend myself.

"It's not going to change things," she said, fighting back tears. "We both knew it, deep down inside... It just took me a bit longer to realize it. To admit it."

"Rose," I whispered, looking down to the ground.

My brain wouldn't work.

I felt really fucking nervous suddenly.

"I, uh, really want to make this work," I tried.

She shook her head, "It won't. Like you said that night you broke up with me... we're not going to work."

"Why?" I whispered.

She licked her lips, looking around the room, before finally resting on me again, "Because I didn't know you either."

"But this can't be the absolute en-"

"It is."

"Rose."

"Emmett," she smiled, half-heartedly. "Please."

We looked at each other, frowning.

This was fucking sad, and I was in the middle of it.

I've never been _here _before.

And here really fucking hurt.

I normally talk myself out of situations like this; find a secret passageway to avoid drama at all costs...

And here I was, dwelling in this shit.

It wasn't fair.

"Hey guys," Carlisle shouted, making us look at him. "Jacob's released. Time to go."

I gave him a nod of acknowledgment, and pulled her to me, "Rose, please, just let me try and prove that I care for you."

She hugged me back, but it wasn't a powerful hug. "I care for you too," she whispered. "But caring isn't _enough_."

"Please."

"No."

"_Please_."

"Emmett..." she replied, slouching over as she let me go, "...no."

I looked down to her, my eyes as sad and empty as hers now.

"Just..." she shrugged, looking toward the room. Her voice was soft and cracked. "...Let's call it as it is. Over. You don't know me. So... let me go, okay?"

She opened my hand, forcing me to let go of hers. The she turned, walking away from me. ..From the last chance of us, in her book.

And it really fucking sucked.

* * *

***&*#!#$^%$^ ****BACK AT THE CABIN**** *&*#!#$^%$^**

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Being back here with the parents was just weird.

The house seemed more crowded with these four people, than it did with all our friends around New Year's.

I felt like I had to inspect every inch of the cabin, to make sure Carlisle doesn't see any panties lying around, or tequila bottles, or beer bottles, or cigarettes, or anything else...

And then I felt I had to inspect it again, to make sure Phil didn't find any baggies full of weed, pills, birth control pills, etc.

Yeah. I worry.

_Sue me. _

This was scary!!

Rosalie and Bella helped Jacob to the bedroom, so he could take a shower and relax. Emmett and Jasper began unhooking cords to the Xbox 360 and all their other game consoles, for the road trip ahead of us the day after tomorrow. Edward sat down on the couch, looking like he was in deep thought. Esme and Renee were outside on the patio, by the fireplace, talking in private. And I had no idea where Phil was.

I was running around, scooping up ash trays before Renee saw them. They didn't like smoking in the house.

When I finally got to where I felt I could relax without having to check the bottom of everyone's shoes for empty condom wrappers, I sat beside Edward, resting my head on his right shoulder. I held out my hand to him, and he half-smiled, dropping his palm into mine.

"You're sad, aren't you?" I asked him in a whisper.

He shrugged, "Not sad. Bella's acting weird though and I don't like it."

"Do you think it's because of the results? Have you told her yet?"

He sighed, "Yeah, I told her kind of briefly before we got in the car. I _tried _to talk to her on the way here, but we were in the back seat of my mom and dad's rental car, and she kept hushing me and telling me that we'll talk about it later. You think she'd be relieved, you know? To have some answers... but she almost acts like she didn't _want _to know."

He frowned, placing his head against mine, whispering, "I'm scared, Alice."

I squeezed his hand, "It's gonna be okay. It's just a rough patch, with everyone being here now, and the parents butting into everyone's business."

"Fucking tell me about it," he scoffed. "They have the mind-set that we're all in high school still. And normally, when I'm around adults, I'm cool and mature and, you know, proof that I can actually _act my age_... But ever since they showed up, I've been defensive and yelling and angry... And that's not me. Well, I take that back. It's not me since I've been back with Bella... and I feel myself sort of, I don't know, slipping back to how I was back in Seattle, and ... Frankly, it's quite depressing."

Rubbing his arm, I nuzzled against his warm hoodie, "You're not that person anymore. It's been a long couple of days, but trust me... I won't let you slip back into _him _again."

He sighed, "It's all ready happening."

"Stop it."

"It _is_, Alice. I can feel it."

"Edward, the fact that you recognize your momentarily inner-douchebag immaturity proves that you're _not _that person. You can tell the difference. You see it."

"I also see Bella pushing away from me."

"Well..." I exhaled, "maybe that's because she feels you're pushing from her too? Ever since we've been at the hospital, I noticed you two were barely near each other, and the one time you were, Phil threw a catastrophe about you asking her to drink some orange juice. And think about it, Edward? Bella was going through some extreme emotions, waiting for these results. And you weren't there for her. And I realize you had your reasons-"

"Yeah like keeping the fucking drama away from her," he scoffed, cutting me off. "I wanted to take all the heat for us."

"_But_," I continued, "maybe _she _didn't see that. Maybe she saw it as you avoiding what may be in your guys' future? Maybe she saw it as you copping out on her? Avoiding her? Distancing yourself?"

"That's not what I mean to do."

"Well, Edward, you're a guy and she's a girl. Guys think very closed-in the box. Women, we think inside the box, outside the box, and speculate every single square inch of the box. We worry, we over-analyze, we pick shit apart. You need to talk to her."

"I know."

"So go do it."

He frowned, "I'm scared of her."

Giggling, I replied, "Scared of your girlfriend?"

"She's _not _my girlfriend, Alice," he spat out.

I sighed, turning my head to him and jerking his face to me by his jaw, "Then what the hell is she to you, Edward?"

He started to open his mouth, but we heard doors slam, and he shut it.

"Phil just stay out of it!" Bella shouted as she ran down the stairs.

Phil was right behind her, "I won't stay out of it, Bella. I go into your bedroom to apologize to you for my behavior, and find you crying on the bathroom floor and-"

"That was _my _business!" Bella shouted, her face red in anger, humiliation, and tears.

Edward and I popped off the couch, while Renee ran to them, getting to Bella before us.

"What's going on?" Edward asked, pulling Bella to him.

She tried to pull away, but he held on to her, "Baby? Talk to me, tell me what's going on?"

"Unhand her, Edward," Phil warned.

"No, just let me talk to her-"

"She's trying to get you to let go of her, so let GO!"

"Phil," Renee shouted, "calm down!"

"I'm fine, Edward," Bella said, still semi-trying to pull away from him, "please let me go."

He didn't. Phil was shouting above her light voice, telling Edward to let her go before he hit him. Of course, this upset everyone, and Carlisle and Esme joined the party.

The entire house erupted into a shouting match, Bella and Edward trapped in the middle of the circle. Bella had her arms between hers and Edward's body, half pushing away, half pulling him to her, and she looked scared and extremely upset, while Edward had his arms wrapped completely around her, his left hand holding her head to his chest, covering her exposed ear from all the screaming.

I couldn't even make out what anyone was saying. A lot of language and shouting, but no visible words.

Jasper ran up behind me, asking me in my ear if I was all right. I nodded, trying to grab Edward by his hoodie, to help pull them out of the middle.

Of course, this upset Esme, who rudely asked me to let go of him. Esme never talked to me like that, but I knew she wasn't meant to aim her anger at me, just lashing on anyone who appeared against her son at the moment. Therefore, I didn't take it too personally.

"HEY!" Carlisle shouted, before whistling a piercing sound.

We all stopped talking at once.

"Okay!" Carlisle shouted, stepping in the middle of Edward and Bella, and Phil and Renee. "This has got to stop, this is getting ridiculous!"

He turned to Bella, who's face was covered protectively by Edward's hand, "Bella, are you all right?"

She nodded, sniffling in Edward's sweater, "Y-yeah."

"Edward?"

"I'm fine Dad," Edward replied stiffly, glaring at Phil.

"Bella," Phil shouted angrily, "we need to talk."

"I don't want to talk to you guys!" Bella sobbed. "Just leave me alone! You shouldn't have came back early!"

"Edward, please let go of our daughter," Renee said.

"Mom stay out of it!" Bella interjected.

"Shhh," Edward replied, pulling her even closer to him, "what happened angel?"

"Nothing, I was just upset and he fucking stormed in there and started making accusations that you and I got into a fight, and that you hurt me, or put your hands on me and the-"

"_What_?!" Edward shouted, foaming at the mouth.

_Oh shit. It just got a lot worse._

He shot daggers straight at Phil's angry face. I could have sworn the anger was visibly pouring out between the two of them, in hot lava pots.

"How in the FUCK would you make that assumption?!" Edward shouted. "I would never, fucking _ever _lay a hand on her!"

"With the way you talk, who knows what you're capable of Edward! You fucking coke head!" Phil spat.

Before Edward could react, Esme reached forward, slapping Phil across the face.

Everyone sort of got closer to the pile in an instant, and people were pulling people away, Carlisle to Esme, Renee pushing Phil back, Edward throwing Bella behind him and shielding her from the action, Jasper pulling me away, and Emmett grabbing Rosalie right before she launched her fist at her father's head.

Esme was screaming fire at Phil at this point, "Don't you ever call him that Phillip! Carlisle, why did you have to tell him that, that was private and a long time ago, and you should have known better! Phillip, I swear you better get a hold of yourself before I knock you out myself..."

The daggers continued as Bella started crying against Edward's back. The poor girl was the middle of all this drama, and if I were her, I'd break down too. Shit was scary.

Edward twisted around, pulling her to him. "Come on Bella," he whispered, covering her ears from Phil's assaults on Edward, calling him every negative name known to man, "we're getting out of here."

He made an attempt to push him and her through the crowd, only to be yanked back by his hoodie aggressively, and thrown onto the floor.

Bella screamed, and arms went flying. All I saw was Edward on his back on the hard ground, Phil on top of him, Carlisle above Phil, the moms shouting for them to stop, Emmett trying to get the guys off of Edward, and Jasper trying to protect everyone else. Jacob came running down the steps, the poor guy still drugged up from all his medicine and exhaustion, trying to figure out what was going on. I got slapped from a swinging arm, knocking me to the ground. Rosalie quickly ran to help me up, and I covered my cheek, stunned.

I could hear swings making contact with body parts, but couldn't see anything, as everyone was gathered in a circle, like little kids on the playground surrounding the bully that pulled the girl's hair.

"PHIL STOP IT! You're hurting him!" Bella shouted, running toward them. Of course, that was a mistake, because she got hit too, by an arm I couldn't make out, across her chest. She slid across the floor on her side, slamming against the end table.

Edward saw it, and threw his first punch of the night, hitting Phil square in the nose.

Phil backed up just enough for Carlisle to rip him off of his son, and Edward rolled on his stomach, scrambling over to Bella. He quickly checked her face to make sure she didn't have any other injuries, apologizing to her, and scooped her up in his arms, standing to his feet staggardly.

Carlisle eventually took charge again, trying to get everyone to calm down. Eventually, he succeeded.

Phil was down on the ground, Emmett behind him with his arms around his body, holding him while Jacob stood in front of Phil.

Jasper and Jacob were helping the moms, while Carlisle was trying to just not erupt on everyone.

Edward's face was bright red, almost looking as if he had been choked, and his eyes were watery. His left cheek was red and brownish already, and his throat was white from hand marks. He sat Bella down, but kept her in his arms, shielding her from anything that may start up again. Bella was crying in his shoulder, and Edward sort of glanced around, looking for threats.

Then he started up the steps with her.

"BELLA!" Phil shouted, causing his step-daughter to stop and turn around. "If you choose him, Bella... If you go with Edward, then you are out of our lives for GOOD! I won't put up with this shit again, and I won't let your mother either!"

Bella stopped crying, as she made an attempt to grab the banister and take another step.

"DO YOU HEAR ME?!" Phil shouted, causing her to wince and stop again.

She slowly turned back toward all of us, taking a deep breath, "...I hear you."

"Then _think _about what you're doing! Think about the people who've been there for you! Edward, he wasn't there! He walked out, he _quit_, remember? He broke up with you, said he didn't want you, treated you like shit! Your mother and I, Jasper, Jake, Rose... _we _were the ones that were there for you! We're the ones who took care of you when you hit rock bottom. The ones who paid for your medical bills after that fucking bathtub incident of yours! The ones wh-"

"I _said_," Bella gritted through her teeth weakly, exasperated, "...I _hear _you."

"Bella, sweetheart, please," Renee begged. "_Listen _to us. We know what's best for you, and Edward? ...He's not going to stay with you. He's going to break your heart again."

"Edward," Carlisle began, but stopped as soon as Edward lifted his hand to motion for him to not speak.

Esme mumbled something beneath her breath like, "Bella is going to break his heart again."

Bella turned slowly, her eyes swollen red, and watched as Edward lifted his hand out to her.

She looked at it, breath staggering, like it was something she'd never seen before.

Then she slowly turned back to all of us, her parents in particular, and frowned.

Edward didn't lower his hand, still waiting on her response.

Sniffling, she took another glance at his hand. Then she shook her head slowly, and trotted up the stairs past him, never accepting it.

Edward looked pretty upset by that, but held himself together, slowly turning and walking up the steps after her.

And the rest of us down here?

We remained silent, and frozen in our spots.

_What the hell just happened?_

* * *

**BellaPOV**

The bedroom seemed emptier. Not as comforting.

Not my new "home" anymore. This place was now foreign.

I remained sitting on the edge of the bed, shaking unsteadily, and placed my head in my hands.

My entire body was trembling, my face was heated, and I couldn't control the sobs escaping through my throat.

My frame was clenched tight, and I was unable to catch my breath.

Opening my swollen eyes, I stared down to the wooden floors, watching tear drops fall and burst as they hit, splattering clear circles along the edges of my jeans.

It hurt so bad... every single thing...

My body, my brain, my stomach, my heart...

The truth, the lies, the fantasies, the ideas...

Everyone, every thing...

It all just... _hurt_.

My ribs felt like they were going to cut my heart and lungs open. I was wound too tightly in distress.

The mattress moved a little, and my body grew achier, as the opposite side of the bed gained more weight. I could hear movement around me, and some more unsteady breathing... and this time, it must be from Edward.

Wiping my right side of my face, I turned to my right, to find Edward, with his head in his hands as well.

His elbows were resting on his knees, and his legs were shaking a mile a minute, bouncing his head up and down between his palms. His eyes were sealed shut, and tears were falling from his face as well.

It made me hurt worse.

Gasping for air, I shut my eyes again, allowing more tears to fall.

...I don't know how long we sat there.

...I can't remember how everything suddenly turned this bad.

One minute we were flying, as happily as we have ever been... and now, we're sitting still, and numb to the world.

My chest caved further, and another sob escaped my throat.

I felt so exhausted from the day, and all of the events that played through.

So many things, so many decisions, so many shocking moments... all crashed into us in the last twenty-four hours.

It just goes to show you, no matter how you roll with the punches... if someone's aiming at your head, they're eventually going to hit you.

And we got hit hard.

Taking a deep breath, I pulled my neck up, staring around the fuzzy, dim room.

Then I turned to face Edward, watching him sit up, through my swollen, red eyes.

He looked at me, and frowned.

It took a few hard swallows before I could even form a word.

And all that could come out, from my thick and raspy throat was a bare weakened whisper of, "...Edward... What are we going to do?"

He took a deep swallow, shrugging his shoulders.

He started to open his mouth, but shut it. This happened a few times.... slowly open, shut. Shake his head. Slowly open, shut. Sigh, and look to the ground.

Trembling, I tried to catch my breath. It didn't work too well.

I clutched my diaphragm, where Carlisle accidently hit me in attempts to get my step-father off of Edward. It stung a little still, and was tender to my touch. I didn't want to tell Edward who hit me when he asked me downstairs. He didn't need to lash out on his father over something that was an accident.

All of this... it was _really _bad.

Our families... our friends... Esme and Carlisle were never going to accept me for Edward, and Phil and my mother would never accept Edward for me.

In fact, they threatened me... and I believed them.

_Would the smartest thing for us right now be for us to break up?_

I sighed, covering my face again.

I knew it was.

It would be better for everyone else if we did.

...Besides, didn't he tell Carlisle and Esme earlier that he didn't want to be in a relationship with me?

The idea of losing Edward really came full force when I got back to the cabin, and was in the bedroom that we officially made love in.

I knew it would be awful when it actually happened... me losing him. For good this time.

_But it had to happen, right?_

After all, that's why I was crying in the bathroom when Phil caught me.

And that's what caused this last blow out.

It was all my fault.

Making Edward get re-involved with me, causing him to fight James over me, to lash out on people... to fight with Phil...

The list went on and on... all the reasons why we shouldn't be together.

But thinking about it, plus hearing Edward upset and crying beside me...

My heart crushed into pieces all over again.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

After everyone calmed down and straightened up the living room to make it look at least halfway like it did before the eruption, I asked Rosalie to come upstairs with me and help pack.

She was back to sharing a bedroom with me, ever since her and Emmett broke up. I loved having her back there with me.

We were pretty quiet while we tossed things in suitcases, and I could tell that, just like me, she was straining to hear Edward and Bella from their bedroom.

We were listening to hear them argue.

Or fighting.

Or crying.

Or throwing stuff.

Or breaking up.

Or anything.

But what we heard? Silence.

_Absolute, fucking, torturous silence._

It was putting everyone on edge. No one was making sound downstairs either, besides Carlisle and Phil who were arguing until Renee and Esme told them to take it outside.

We were quiet, shuffling around the room to gather our things.

Rosalie zipped up her suitcase, and slumped down to a sitting position on the bed, folding herself over her arms. "Wow," she whispered tiredly. "What a night."

"I know," I frowned.

I watched as she tucked a few inches of her golden hair behind her right ear, and sighed.

"I just can't believe my dad attacked Edward like that," she started. "He's not like that. Ever."

I walked over to her slowly, and sat down beside her, "I guess he has a sore spot for Cullen."

She nodded, "He does. He's always been audible on his dislike for Edward, ever since Bella's major breakdown. You know that though. ...But to actually throw _punches _and grab him by his _neck _like that... it's very out of character for him. He's a loving father, he really is. I just... I can't believe he snapped like that."

"What amazed me is, Edward never hit him back, until Bella got thrown to the ground."

"I know," she replied, "he just laid there and took it."

"You know Bella had something to do with that decision," I scoffed, "Edward doesn't sit back and let people swing on him."

"I know. You should have seen him at Wal-Mart when he and I went. He was pretty angry, I thought he was going to do some serious damage, because these guys were trying to steal money from him and calling me a bitch and all this stuff."

"Edward's not one to fuck with," I agreed. And I knew from experience.

She pushed her full suitcase on the floor, not caring that it toppled over on its front. "I'm exhausted. I cannot imagine what my sister is going through right now. ...I want to go in there so bad and make sure she is okay, but I know they need their privacy."

"They do," I replied, pushing my suitcase on top of hers.

She faced me, looking pretty fucking haggard.

Pursing my lips, I pulled her beside me, and scooted us back to the headboard.

She rested her head on my shoulder, curling her knees up.

I threw my arm behind her neck, and grabbed her free hand.

Silently, we both watched as she flipped our hands around, to where her palm was on the back of my hand.

Then she lifted her shirt, and pressed my hand on her stomach.

My heart stopped, and my lips parted.

Stupid me. I didn't even know the results yet!

I felt my pulse begin to quicken, and turned shakily to look at her.

She didn't look up at me, just began to massage the back of my hand.

Swallowing hard, I licked my lips and cleared my throat. "Is it..." I started, in a half-whisper.

"Empty," she exhaled weakly.

That caused my heart to really falter now. "So... we're not..."

"...No...," she whispered sadly.

I frowned.

It suddenly hit me, the loneliness we both felt at that moment.

And I'm not sure why exactly, because we weren't together, and were both so young...

But the idea of it... of a miracle that could be between us... shared just by her and me... that would have been amazing.

Amazing, but... currently non-existent.

And it made me sad.

She slid down a bit, pressing the side of her face into my ribs. She continued to hold my hand on her stomach.

I could feel my heart aching, and knew hers must be too.

"I'm sorry, Rose," I whispered, "that you had to... I don't know... stress over th-"

"It's okay," she sniffled, nodding her head reassuringly. Then she shrugged, "I would have made a good mama though. I love children."

"I know you do," I frowned.

"...And our child would have had the most beautiful eyes, thanks to me," she chuckled, "and the most beautiful set of white teeth... thanks to you..."

I chuckled, running my fingers through her long hair. "Yeah," I whispered, "...and long legs, like the both of us..."

She nodded, "...and perfect boobs if she were a girl."

"That's all you," I laughed, as she squeezed me tight.

"...and the most loving, caring heart," she whispered. "...That'd be all you ...Jake."

I closed my eyes, fighting back tears.

This was really fucking sad, and I couldn't figure out why.

I felt like we seriously lost a child or something.

And we never even made one in the first place.

She took a deep breath, kissing my shirt, "...Maybe someday though... right?"

I smiled, holding her tight as I kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah," I whispered. "...Maybe someday love..."

She gave me a nod, then closed her eyes as she rested against me.

I began to hum to her a song that I had in my head all day... _"Love Song Requiem" _by _Trading Yesterday._

It really fit the mood I was in.

It really explained to her what I wanted... a maybe someday love... with her.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

The silence was overwhelming.

It seemed to bounce off the walls, breaking down my body every second.

I knew I had to do something.

I knew he was going to break up with me.

I expected it, ever since I heard it come out of his mouth at the hospital.

...And though it may be for the best, according to everyone else... What if I couldn't take it?

What if it wasn't the best for me?

_But what could I do?_

Then it hit me, really hard in the face.

I needed to show him how I feel.

Inhaling, I slid off the edge of the bed, and crawled on the floor toward the damaged closet. I opened it the best I could, and lifted open my wooden chest on the bottom.

It hurt to pull this out in front of him, but it needed to be done.

Swallowing hard, I sat beside him, and slid it under his elbows, where he was still cradling his head on his knees.

I watched him open his eyes, and look down at it.

He started to ask me, but I went ahead and answered, "It's my journal."

He slowly straightened up, tugging on the ends of his disarrayed bronzed hair.

"There's three different markers," I weakly explained. "There's a black ribbon, a white ribbon, and a red ribbon. ...The, uh, black ribbon, was when you broke up with me, four years ago. The white ribbon... that was when you and I met at the club, the night you came back into my life... and the red ribbon in the middle..."

He looked up, eyes swollen and matching mine, as my voice trailed off.

I frowned at him, "...That was James," I sobbed, as the tears came out. "...It was the night he... raped me, and... I included it in your journal, because... Because it was the only way I could talk about it... I could talk about it through you, even though you weren't _here _then."

A tear fell down his face.

It hurt so bad to watch it. Made it hard to swallow. I struggled to breathe as I continued, "... When you read it, it'll probably be jumbled and out of context. I wrote, then stopped, then wrote, then stopped... I remember it was hard to keep focus."

"Bella..." he whispered.

I shook my head, "Please... let me finish."

He nodded slowly, wiping his face.

"That's why the journal is more like a binder now... It's been all my thoughts of you... ever since the day I met you. I want you to read the red ribbon page. I never actually read it after I wrote it, and I... m-marked it red so I'd know when I was breezing through the pages, to skip over that part, so it wouldn't break me down."

He started to speak, but I raised my hand, objecting it.

"Read it out loud."

He continued to look at me, with his sad, devastating eyes... studying my expression. I held still and stiff, waiting for him to do it.

Eventually, he sighed, wiping more tears as he cleared his throat and opened the page. I glanced over it... at the broken handwriting... scribbled in messy, barely visible font... and dried tear drops making some of the words blurred out...

But I didn't cry yet.

I needed him to read it.

"_December 6th, 2007_," he exhaled staggardly.

He looked at up me, and I gave him a nod.

He cleared his throat, reading the lines slowly, while he cried.

_"I don't know where to begin.  
I can't think. It's hard to process anything. I'm sitting here, looking around, and I know what these objects are... but nothing makes sense when I stare at them. I can recognize the toilet and know what it is... but it's faceless... nameless.... pointless. The sink... the shower... the disgusting water stains and mildew on the cracks of the tub... the broken and chipped tiles on the floor...  
It all reminds me of me.  
I am disgusting.  
I am broken.  
I can't walk. I can barely stand. My body hurts. My chest is aching so intensely, it makes it hard to sit here without toppling over. My lungs, they are crushed, forcing air to come out in gasps...  
I can't breathe very well and I don't have the ability to stop shaking... I need to be quiet. What if he comes here to my house?  
I'm hiding inside of the bathroom right now, so no one can find me. I don't know what to do. What do I do? What happened? Was this my fault?  
...Is it possible that I am dead? Somehow writing this, but not existing? Because that would make more sense. Perhaps something has weighed down so heavily on my body, that I escaped it, and am staring down at myself. No... It's not possible.  
Because I still smell him on me. Oh my God, I can still fucking SMELL HIM.  
I don't feel good. I feel like I'm going to pass out.  
I've thrown up all the contents in my stomach. I broke the mirror in here, so I don't have to look at myself. I scrubbed my body with hot water, as hot as it would go... but I still feel him all around me. It felt disgusting to even WASH myself. I didn't want to touch my own skin. I felt sick every time I did. This body, it's not mine anymore.  
I still hear his fucking voice in my ear, telling me to hold still, moaning and huffing in that scratchy voice. He's all around, he's everywhere, and I cannot escape him! He's inside every hair follicle of my body, he's inside my throat and ears, he's buried deep within my core... No matter what I do to try to get rid of him...  
...JAMES WON'T GO AWAY.  
I see him every time I open my eyes. I hear him every time I gasp for air. I feel him every time a tear falls from my lids. I smell him every time I rub my face.  
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know. Please God, tell me what to do... Tell me what to do because I can't figure this out.  
What did I do? What did I do, why did I go to his house? Did I deserve this?  
God, I really don't feel good.  
My head is pounding from where he pushed it into the headboard. I see scars starting to form on me.  
...Oh God, I hurt. This fucking hurts, this fucking hurts, this fucking hurts. It all just HURTS so much.  
Please Lord help me. Take this away from me. Let me die.  
My stomach hurts so bad. I feel my body, my chest, it's all closing.  
...I wish Edward was here.  
I really do. He'd hold me in his arms and take this away from me, I KNOW he would. I wish he could be here to tell me that I'm OKAY, and that he has me now. That it's OKAY to cry. Because right now, I don't know what to do. But he'd tell me it's okay, I know he would. I wish he was here so bad... I'd give anything to have him, to see his hands holding me, for him to kiss away this FUCKING PAIN. I wish that he'd just take this all away from me, BECAUSE I'M REALLY SCARED RIGHT NOW... I miss him so much. I need him.  
I wish I could tell him that I'm sorry, for everything. I feel like if I never was with Jake then we would have never broken up, and then I wouldn't have met James.  
None of this would have happened.  
...My legs hurt, from where James pushed them apart... GOD WHAT DID I DO?"_

I heard him closing the journal, but wasn't looking at him.

Instead, I kept my face covered. I heard him shuffling around.

"I'm so sorry baby," he weakly replied.

It became silent.

I didn't know what to say.

There was only one thing that needed to be said, and it hurt to speak it out loud.

"I know that you're going to leave me."

It was silent again.

Then I felt him move a little, "_What_?"

I sighed. "I know. ...I heard you talking to Carlisle and Esme in the hospital, and I ...know. I just wanted to tell you, before you do, that I barely survived losing you that first time. And though I know that if it's what you want, then I should let it happen in order for you to be happy, but... I don't know if I can make it through losing you again."

"Bella..." he whispered.

"But I'll try it," I exhaled. "I'll try to make it through it, because that's what you want."

"Bella I never said that."

"It's okay Edward. I heard you; you don't have to lie t-"

"Bella, stop," he replied, exasperated.

I listened as he climbed off the bed, and felt him kneel down on his knees in front of me.

Slowly, I dropped my hands and looked up at him through swollen eyes, feeling my heart clench close.

He looked as sad as I did.

"Bella, I never said that I was going to leave you."

I frowned, staring into his green eyes dismally. "I heard you."

"When did you hear me say that?"

"At the hospital. ...Please don't deny it, d-"

"Baby, I never said that I was going to leave you. Ever."

I furrowed my brows at him, "But I heard you."

"The only thing I can think of that maybe coursed you the wrong idea was when I told Esme that I didn't want you to be my girlfriend."

I nodded, mournfully. "Yeah. That."

"Bella," he chuckled, sliding between my legs on his knees, while he gripped my hands, "look at me."

He pulled my face up to look at him, wiping my tears with his thumbs. "I'm not leaving."

"But... I heard you," I sighed, "I heard you say that you didn't want me, that you weren't ready for that type of commitment. I heard you say that our relationship was a waste."

His eyes bounced from one of my eyes to another, and then he buried his face in my legs.

I remained tense, afraid that if I touched even his hair, I'd break down and it'd be that much harder.

After a moment, he took a deep breath, and lifted his head to look me directly in the eye.

"Listen to me. You misunderstood everything. I _don't _want you to be my girlfriend, and I _don't _want to be your boyfriend. And sometimes, yeah, I do feel that the relationship was a waste, because we didn't stay together. We lost each other. I'm not looking for that type of commitment again. It's hopeless and pointless when it comes to us."

"E-Edward, you're not making any sense," I shook my head. "Please just... leave me if you're going to, because it hurts waiting for it."

His hands reached up, holding my cheeks between his warm palms.

I tilted my head, frowning at him as another tear fell into my lap.

He caved in, sighing. He pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist, and placing his forehead on my stomach, "I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."

I heaved and gasped for air, lifting my hands in the air.

I still couldn't touch him.

"Please," I whimpered, closing my eyes, "...just do it."

I could hear him sobbing against me, "...I can't."

"Please," I cried again.

"I can't baby."

The tears were heavy, falling onto the back of his hoodie.

He shook his head, holding me tighter, "I cannot leave you, Bella. I love you."

"I love you too," I replied, gasping for more air. "But I'll be oka-"

"Marry me."

My chest heaved again, "...what?"

He sniffled, pulling his face back to look at me, but keeping himself between my legs, his arms wrapped tightly around me, "Marry me."

I opened my mouth to respond, but all I got out was a squeak.

I tried to speak but I couldn't.

I knew confusion was written all over my face.

_Was he making a joke, or doing this just because he thought I'd kill myself or something if he left me? _

_Did he think I blamed him for James, because I didn't. _

_That wasn't my point to having him read that journal._

"I don't want to be your _boyfriend_, Bella. I don't want a pointless, high school relationship," he continued. "It never got us anywhere good."

I pulled my face back, "But-"

"I want to be your _husband_, Bella," he said, gripping my face hard and forcing me to maintain eye contact with me. "I want to protect you, _always_. I don't _ever _want you to hurt like you did that night. I don't ever want you to worry about _anything_. I want to take care of you and give you everything that I can possibly give... I want you to stay with me, always."

I shook my head, trying to remember how to breathe.

He sat up on his knees, his hand digging in the right pocket of his jeans. I watched as he pulled out a blue box, and that's when it really hit me.

He was doing it because he wanted to.

Instantly, my mouth closed and I forgot how to think.

Edward cleared his throat, sitting down on the backs his knees between my legs, his left arm still around me, his right hand clutching the box.

"I've been thinking of a way to ask you ever since the day that you and I had our official _'friends' _date... That day you and I went out and did all those things. Do you remember when we went shopping at the mall? Well... I saw that ring in a window when you were in the restroom, and knew I needed to go back and look at it. So I did, the night after, when you were sleeping. I researched the ring online, found out where it was made, called the manager of the store in the middle of the night, paid a lot of money to have him go in just to sell it to me... I planned to ask you when we got back to Seattle... Maybe a surprise trip to Forks, perhaps... Have candles leading out to that meadow of ours, and be waiting there wearing a tux... Get down on one knee and propose to you..."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Funny how life always goes unplanned when it comes to us."

I was still trying to figure out how to breathe, and watched as he snapped open the blue velvet box.

Then I _really _couldn't breathe.

Inside, was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen in my entire life. It was platinum silver, with tiny sparkling square diamonds trailing around the entire band. In the center, was a slightly larger, sea-blue stone, the most beautiful shade of turquoise known to man. It was _breathtaking_.

He sighed, pulling it out of the box as he licked his lips. He pulled back a bit, and lifted my trembling left hand in his.

I shivered as I watched him hold the ring in front of my finger. On the bottom of the ring was an inscription, "_A moment of clarity_".

Steadying myself, I looked up, and melted into his emerald diamond eyes.

_Was this really happening?_

He smiled, blinking slowly, "You're my entire _world_. ...Do you know that?"

I shook my head.

"You should. You've _always _been, Bella."

"Yeah?" I giggled through tears.

He gave me that crooked smile as he thought to himself, "...I can still recall, to the day, the moment when I _knew _that I loved you... It was after our first actual _date_, when I walked you to your front door, and we _almost _had that first kiss. ...There we were, both wanting something but hesitating, hanging together in a moment. We were happily _lingering_. And I remember thinking, _how incredible was it that two people could come together and share a single moment like that_? ...Bella, I knew right then and there that you were special. I felt _alive_, in anticipation, and it was all because of you."

I gasped, taking a long swallow.

He massaged my knee, before wrapping his arm back around my waist, "...At sixteen years old, I knew that you were going to be my soul mate... You gave me that _moment of clarity_. It was because of you...that I found hope."

I smiled, wiping tears away, before clutching his arms. I still didn't know how to speak.

Edward beamed, "...That feeling hasn't diminished, love. I wanted to ask you then, I wanted to ask you before we broke up... and I want to ask you now..."

I watched as he steadied himself, lifting one knee to kneel down on a single.

He took a deep breath, and then calmness washed over me as he looked up at me in a soothing manner, "Isabella, will you spend forever with me?"

Hearing those words... _wow_. I covered my mouth with my right hand and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears roll from my cheeks, up and over each one of my fingers, before hanging on the bottom of my hand. Some fell off, while others trailed down my wrist. It took a few moments before I could open my eyes and look at him... and doing that stole whatever breath I managed to muster right out of me.

Because he was there. Patiently waiting, not even trembling... not one ounce of hesitation. He was sure about this.

Edward was waiting for me.

Taking a breath for luck, I tilted my head and smiled at him, rubbing his face with my hand, "On two conditions."

He grinned, biting his bottom lip, "Okay."

"One," I replied shakily, "you never stop loving me. _Ever_."

He chuckled, "That's a given."

"And... two," I replied, grabbing his left hand and placing it on my stomach, "...you realize that when you're angry and wanting to fight someone, or anything else... You understand that you're not making decisions for just _Edward _anymore. You're making decisions for _three _people... who would die if they ever lost you."

The warm and slow smile on his face melted my heartstrings, as that velvety voice replied, "I promise, my love."

"Okay," I whispered, gripping his arms tighter.

He slid closer to me, almost pulling me off the bed, as he lifted himself higher on his knees, his chest against mine. "Is that a yes?"

Frowning at him, I shook my head, "...no."

He furrowed his brows, looking confused.

Then I grinned, throwing my arms around his neck, "That's a HELL YES."

He laughed and exhaled at the same time, sliding the ring on my finger.

He sat back on his knees, grabbed me by waist with his hands, and using just his arm strength alone, lifted me up off of the bed, and down, onto his lap.

I hugged him tight, burying my hands in his hair.

He kissed along my shoulder, up my neck and my cheeks, then grabbed my head and pulled it back. He brushed away the tears I hadn't even realized were still falling with his thumbs, and then murmured, "My Bella" against my mouth, before kissing me.

I smiled against his lips, pulling him all the way into me, while I inhaled his scent. Our kiss was slow and romantic, increasing with time.

Edward craned me to him with his right hand, while he felt around for the floor behind me with his left. Carefully, he laid me back on the hard wooden floor, and kissed me with even more passion.

When his warm tongue slid between my lips and began to massage mine, it felt like thousands of tiny little wires were going off simultaneously. It was the first time I felt every single piece of him against me... all the love that we had for each other, came pouring out in gentle yet cascading waves, until we were fully enveloped in it.

I sighed, tugging on his hair as he kissed along my neck. Edward continued to lower himself slowly, hovering over me, until he got to my chest.

I watched as he inhaled my smell, before sliding his hands down my sides. My body shivered while he ran his hands along my ribs, pushing my shirt up with them. He allowed it to hang over my abdomen, and gave me a crooked smile that melted my body into a puddle of mush.

Then he ran his nose down my diaphragm, around the circle of my belly button, and lower, resting right before my low-rise jeans.

He smiled against my skin, taking a deep breath. His thumbs massaged my hips as he lifted my lower body in the air, pressing his warm lips against my skin.

I bit my lip as a tear rolled down the side of my face, watching him linger there, kissing me.

He gave it a few gentle pecks, before he pulled his face up an inch, and looked at my skin.

"Hello baby," he whispered softly, before kissing there again. Each time his lips pressed into my stomach, it was tenderly.

And that was when I realized... he was kissing the both of us at the same time. We were the two most important people in his life now, and the way he was showing it mended all the pain in my heart...

Every single hole, crack, indent, crevice, and scar... With each kiss he peppered or lingered on as he held me beneath him... He healed them all.

It scared me, all the things that were about to come our way... the people about to enter our lives.

But being with Edward, in that moment, with his reassurance, made me not worry about all of that right now.

I ran my fingers through his hair, pushing away a few strands that were hanging against his forehead, as he pressed his warm cheek against my cool stomach.

He slowly lowered me to the ground and tilted his head up, smiling at me.

"I love you," we whispered at the exact same time, which caused us to laugh.

***&*#!#$^%$^ **

Choosing Edward over my family may have been the simplest choice to make, but it didn't make it easy when it came to leaving the cabin. We knew that they'd all be downstairs, waiting for us to come and tell them our decision. I'm sure the parents were probably counting on the fact that their intimidation was going to cause us to separate for good.

_They really should know us better by now._

Edward quickly packed up all of our things, refusing me to do just about anything. He said he wanted me to relax.

Oh, wait. He let me pack my shampoo and toothpaste.

It was adorable, watching all of his stuff get thrown in together with mine... Like his shaving cream and razors in the same bag as tampons and hairspray. Or our toothbrushes.

The little things like that, made me giddy, because I saw them in a different light now... Our light.

He placed my last full suitcase besides his, and exhaled, "It's all done."

I smiled at him, throwing his hoodie on over my t-shirt. He took it off in the midst of packing, but it was still warm, and smelled of all his deliciousness. I could have licked it.

He grinned at me, standing on the other side of the bed, "You look hot in it."

"Does that mean I can keep it?" I teased, swaying from side to side.

"What's mine is yours now."

I blushed for no apparent reason other than that statement, and covered my stomach with both of my hands, "Well then... I can't wait to see you in one of my thongs."

He chuckled, "Oh yeah, that'll be the day."

I giggled.

Edward took a deep breath, and crawled onto the bed, over to me. Then he pulled me to him, burying his face against my chest. "I smell both you and me on this shirt," he replied, "it's kind of arousing."

Biting my lip, I began to stroke his hair, "Too bad we couldn't have sex in here one last time."

"Yeah," he replied. "Maybe we can pull over on our way home? Some cheesy motel that you rent by the hour. With you being this gorgeous, I bet it'll only take me a few minutes to gather a nut."

I laughed, "I don't think so!"

He pulled his face back, and looked up at me, "I'm kidding."

***&*#!#$^%$^ **

With the help of our friends, we managed to make it downstairs without our parents seeing or hearing us.

Alice distracted the moms, while Emmett got Carlisle to play a game of pool with him, and after some long and tiresome convincing that 'we were probably upstairs fighting' -- _cough/chuckle _-- Jasper got Phil to play a concentrating match of Chess. Poor tired Jacob found a way into the garage and pulled Edward's car out, while my sister helped sneak us downstairs and out the back, to the car.

(I offered to go out the window of the bedroom, but Edward objected quickly. He said that I'm now a 'fragile package', and there was no way he was dangling me from the iced-down, freezing cold balcony, no matter how many times Emmett promised to catch me.)

It was after nine pm now, and freezing balls outside. I shivered as Edward and Jake loaded the car up.

Rosalie pulled me into her arms, sharing her body heat and Jake's leather jacket with me.

Edward and Jake quickly shook hands, and then we all hugged quickly, trying to stay warm.

"Love you sissy," Rosalie whispered, "see you tomorrow."

"'K, love you too. Make sure to tell them you went to check on us up there, and we were just gone."

She giggled, "I will. They're gonna shit bricks, you know this, right?"

"I know," I laughed, "I hope your dad shits a giant one for all the hell he's put us through."

"Touché," she replied.

Jake stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "Edward, take care of Bella tonight."

"I will," Edward said, opening the passenger door for me.

I kissed Jake on his cheek and hopped inside the car, cranking the heat up.

We waved quickly, before Edward quietly backed the car out of the drive.

Once we were on the main road, he peeled out, causing the rear end to slide a little on the sleet-snow-slush mixture on the ground.

It felt like we were runaway's, on an adventure.

I loved every single second of it.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 21!  
**** SPECIAL THANKS to my FIL Keith for your advice, Maria for telling about your experiences with seizures for my information, as well as the Lake City Medical Center for all your notes & knowledge! I appreciate everyone taking the time to inform me for the better of a story!**

**No poll for this chapter. Just wanna hear your thoughts!  
No worries, this story isn't over, I still have a LOT more in store for everyone.****I hope that you guys stick with me!!!! I love you! :D**

**-- DON'T FORGET GUYS:****-- **  
**http://www[dot]twilighted[dot]net/forum/viewtopic[dot]php?f=44&t=2577  
^^^^^------GO THERE AND HANG OUT W/ME!------^^^^^  
(if you can't get it to work, the link is also in my profile!!)**

**Reviews are better than a Carlisle/Phil duke out! :D**


	22. Lingering On

***** EDIT: thank you **snozzberryfaery **for pointing out the Space Needle building instead of "needlepoint" and the dog's ages. Those are now fixed! Sorry about that!**

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my amazing beta, for all your help with my constant indecisions, your advice, and your support -- with this story, and my life. You're an Angel!

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Edward and Bella quickly realize how different their lives are now. As they come back to Seattle, Bella sees the high-life that Edward has consumed himself with.  
The rest of the gang at the cabin, with the aftershock. Rosalie, Jake, and Emmett try to figure out their relationships, or lack there of.  
Some NSFW, prewarning for those of you at work or school. (You guys know I love my lemons. Hope you don't mind them!)  
(Also, since EB deserve a happy chapter after all the hell they've been through, I thought I'd throw in some love triangle fun!)**

**-- Special shoutout to Jenny09er -- thanks for the pm saying my story should be a television series! And THANK YOU to all of you who has given song recc's of Justin Nozuka, My American Heart, Vandeburg, and Matt Nathanson! I love them ALL!**

******* For those who asked for the ring, the pic is in my profile, as well as all other pics and songs. LOTS of A/Ns at bottom. *******

**

* * *

  
**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"You'll always be a part of me.  
I'm a part of you, indefinitely.  
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me?  
Ooh darlin', cause you'll always be my baby.  
And we'll linger on... Time can't erase a feeling this strong.  
No way, you're never gonna shake me,  
ooh darlin', cause you'll always be my baby." **_

_**David Cook (**__original by Mariah Carey__**), "Always Be My Baby"**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Lingering On**

**BellaPOV**

"Bella," an angel's voice said softly. "Bella ...wake up."

I smiled, nuzzling the left side of my face into the warmth. The intoxicating smell of mints and cigarettes and _'Man' _cologne... it filled every single one of my senses delightfully.

"Come on, pretty girl," he chuckled, swiping some hair off my face. "Time to wake up."

I shook my head, throwing my arms around him carelessly. I listened as rain powered down heavily on top of the roof of the car, movement shuffled around me, horns honked... Then a door opened... followed slowly by another door... I took a deep breath, longing for my warmth again.

Eventually, arms were around me once more. I was in and out of consciousness throughout the night, and easily falling back into my somber. My mind told me that I was still in my dream of Edward and me around a waterfall, but my body told me I was out of the car now. Rain was lightly hitting the top of my hand, but nowhere else. Or was that from the waterfall? Something was covering me, regardless. Shielding most of my body from the wetness.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen!" a man shouted.

"Good evening, Tommy. There's five bags in the trunk, two behind the seat, and a duffle bag in the passenger seat. Also that binder. I'd offer to help, but I have to get my fiancée inside before she catches pneumonia."

"Fiancée?! Well, don't you worry about that, Sir. We'll get this taken care of for you. We'll also send up for some fresh warm towels, and heated robes."

"Thank you, Tommy. Here's an extra tip for your troubles."

"No troubles, Sir. Get dry."

"You as well, Tommy. I don't want you getting sick on my account! Thanks again!"

My dream of the waterfall crashed over me, and then I heard Edward in the present... then the dream... then Edward again... I could hear movement around me, and felt cold air hit me fast. We were inside something. Was it the water from the falls? Or is this my present?

I sighed, pushing myself into his chest.

Edward in my dream... Edward in the present... Either way, I was content.

"Good evening, Mr. Cullen."

"Hey Addy."

"Back early?"

"Yes ma'am. Alice should be here the day after tomorrow, on schedule. Any messages?"

"Yes sir, here they are... Is she okay?"

"Yes, she's exhausted. It's been a long trip."

I could feel him tossing me higher in his arms, holding me more tightly. Images flashed of him carrying me inside the waterfall, and I smiled. I had no idea where I was.

"I can imagine, Sir. Would you like us to send up some dinner for... you and your guest, this evening?"

"My fiancée, Isabella," he quickly but soothingly corrected her. "Send up some menus with the robes, please, Addy."

"Will do, Sir. Anything else?"

"Oh, and no guests, please. I stress this heavily. No calls, no guests, and make sure if Alice shows early for some reason, that you buzz me first."

"You've got it, Mr. Cullen."

"Thanks, Addy."

"Anytime," she giggled.

I nuzzled deeper into his jacket, as dings of a doorbell type surrounded me. It was silent, but the warmth of Edward's hands, as he massaged the back of my neck and held me with the other one... it was comforting. The dinging went off again, and we were moving. Traveling.

Somewhere. Anywhere.

I didn't care.

I had no worries at all.

"Hey Spendor!" Edward joyously whispered. "How you doing, boy? Did Tommy take good care of you?"

I could hear whimpering, slightly, in the furthest of my mind, and then it faded away as quickly as it came. I listened to Edward's voice echoing... from the waterfall, with his laughter as he swung me around, to his hushing and comforting tone, here. It felt like Heaven, and I didn't even have to open my eyes to be in it.

"Spendor, off the couch," Edward hissed through a whisper as he moved us around. "You know better. Alice will have your ass. I know you're excited to see me. Where's your sister, huh? Where's Cora?"

More whimpering. Edward placed me gently on something, presumably a couch. My mind was slowly leaving the dream, and it made me sad. More hair was moved from my face, and the garment shielding me from the rain was removed.

"Bella," he whispered. "Wake up."

I smiled, stretching out my arms.

A hand touched my face, fingertips caressing beneath my cheek, "Open those caramel eyes so I can see you."

Slowly, my lashes fluttered open, and I blinked. There he was, my personal, God-like creature. His hair, still spiky and bronzed, was wet. He was wearing a black button-down shirt, sleeves rolled toward the elbows. Dark jeans, dark shoes.

Seeing him forced my grin to widen enormously. "Hey," I said, my voice barely over a whisper.

I must have been sleeping a long time.

"There you are," he whispered. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I smiled. "You?"

"Good. It's raining outside. Pretty profusely."

I reached up, running my fingers through his copper, damp hair, "I can see that."

He smirked, pressing his face into my open palm.

I stroked my thumb beneath his eyes and down, across his bottom lip. He was so beautiful. There was no other way to describe him. Handsome, gorgeous, dazzling, charming, exquisite... All those things applied... but beautiful was most accredited when it came to Edward.

I turned my head to the left, and furrowed my brows. There were windows stretching from the ceiling to the hardwood floor. The sky would flash tints of yellow and blue, and the night was lit up from beautiful, tall buildings in every inch of the glass.

Sitting up, I suddenly felt nervous, "Are we... in Seattle?"

"Yes."

"Wow... I must have been sleeping a long time."

"You did. It's good for you, though. Being at the hospital probably wore you out."

"You must be exhausted," I replied, grabbing his hand. Poor guy. I made him drive the entire trip. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine," he grinned.

After Edward and I left the cabin, he made me go to the hospital for a check-up. He wanted to make sure the hit to my diaphragm didn't do any damage, which it didn't. I never told him about Carlisle. Edward and I hit the road after that two hour visit, and he'd been driving all night, day, and night again.

I felt bad for that. I slept through three-fourths of the trip.

I turned back toward the breathtaking view in front of me, "Why... did you get a place for us to stay? We could have gone to my house... or your apartment. I doubt that anyone would have fou-"

"This is my home."

"Huh?"

"My place, my apartment," he replied. "You're in it."

I quickly found my feet and stood up, backing away from him, "What?"

"What?" he asked, standing up with me. "Are you okay?"

I shook my head, walking past window after window after window of blue-lit, night sky, rain coming down... "This _is _your place?"

"Yes it is," he humored me.

"B-But you said you lived in an _apartment_."

"This is, sort of. I pay rent."

"Edward, this is _not _an apartment," I chuckled, throwing my hands in the air. "An apartment does not go... however many stories high we are."

"This is the thirty-second floor." He chuckled calmly, looking quite amused by my shock. I watched as he stuck his hands in his pockets, leaning back on his heels, "Well, it's home to me and Alice."

I coughed, covered my mouth, and traveled around the living room. I had never seen anything like this before. It was perfectly matched and designed... Some dark pieces, such as the couch, coffee tables, television... Some light pieces, such as the lampshades and pillows... dimly lit, red accents, designer rugs, more and more and more windows and stunning dark, blue views... Expensive dining room table... Chandeliers. I gasped when I entered the kitchen. It was huge, with bar stools on one side of the island, cherry oak gloss cabinetry, crystal and blue backsplashes, matching appliances, hardwood floors...

Edward was silent, following me around, looking amused still.

Now, I was extremely nervous. I chewed on my thumbnail, turning to face him. I refused to explore anything else, like bathrooms... or his bedroom.

"We, uh," I stammered, making sure there was a safe distance between us, "we have _very _different lives."

"How's that?"

"Look at this place!" I replied, spinning around, arms out, palms up. "This is... my God, is that....? I can see the _Space Needle_ building."

"Yes," he chuckled.

"Edward, my house could fit _inside _of your... house."

He scratched his head, shrugging, "It doesn't matter."

"It does matter. We're on opposite sides of the spectrum!" My heart was beating rapidly, while more butterflies entered my beneath my ribs, "...This is like high school all over again."

"This is nothing like high school."

"Yes it is," I whispered. "Away from the cabin, no more vacation, back into reality... Things hit my face that show just how much better you are than me."

"Bella!" he exclaimed, looking somewhat angry, which caused me to frown. "Stop saying that. Jesus. None of this shit matters, but you and I."

"And your mansion compared to my shack. I feel like we've played two games of MASH, and I lost."

"This is an apartment. And I saw the outside of your house... Well, what I remember of it. I wasn't really paying attention. But you live in a beautiful home, not a... _shack_."

"This is a _skyscraper_," I argued, laughing sarcastically. "Don't you see this?"

He shrugged, frowning more, "So, what? ...Do you want to not marry me because I live up here and you live somewhere else? Because we're different?"

"No," I exhaled, slouching down as I strolled over to him. "Don't be stupid. It's just... your place overwhelms me. Your _life _overwhelms me. I should have noticed when you had the Porsche Carerra."

Edward pulled me into him, intertwining his fingers behind my back, "I still have the Volvo."

"I know."

"I'm still Edward."

"I know. ...That makes me happy."

"It better," he chuckled. "But... I mean, yeah, I like nice things. But... none of this stuff matters. It doesn't make me happy. You do. My life, the thoughts I had on the way here, about where my life would turn now that you're back in it... those ideas make me happy."

I inhaled his scent, trying to relax.

Being back here, in real life... no more vacation... no more protective, knowing, shelter... It made me nervous.

I felt like we were on a first date.

"Are you cold?" he asked, rubbing my arms. "I can turn down the air."

"I'm fine," I shook my head. "Just nervous."

"Why are you nerv-"

_Ding!_

He sighed, pulling away from me, "That must be Tommy. Stay here." I watched as he ran out of the room, and then gasped, when I saw the most adorable, spunky, tiny dog run and slide across the hardwood floor toward me. His tongue was hanging out. He was fluffy, with white legs and neck, gray and black toward the back, tints of copper on the tip of his head and tail. His eyes had black around them, and he had the cutest black nose. He was such a fluffball!

I squealed, squatting down. He panted, losing control and sliding to me. He looked so adorable and feisty and mischievous!

"Hey boy!" I giggled, scooping the soft, fluffy creature in my arms, "How are you?"

He panted, licking all over my face. He knocked me over, jumping and lapping at my face. I giggled, falling back on the ground as he continued his friendly, welcoming assault.

"Say hi," Edward laughed as he jogged back over, quickly laying white towels and robes on a chair. He bent forward, picking him off of my chest. The dog quickly began to lick on Edward's neck. "Bella, this is Spendor Jameson. He's a full-blooded, Miniature Siberian husky. He's three months old. I just got him before this trip."

"He's a miniature?! I didn't know they existed!"

"They do. Sometimes they're confused with Alaskan Miniature Husky, or an Alaskan Klee Kai. But they do exist, as _he _does."

"How much will he weigh when he's full grown?"

"Probably about 30-35 pounds."

"Wow. He's so cute!" I squealed, standing up to pet him. "He reminds me of that dog, '_Bolt'_. I love him so much!"

Spendor took turns licking from Edward's neck to my cheek, causing us both to laugh.

"He loves you too."

"Oh my goodness, you're adorable!" I cooed, stealing him from Edward's arms. "Come here."

Edward laughed, tossing his arm around me and Spendor, "I have another dog. Would you like to see her?"

"Yes, I would."

"She's most likely around my bed. She sleeps there when I'm not home... Waits for me."

"Aww, I'm jealous," I teased, nudging his arm.

He reached beside me, swinging open a large, black door. Edward's room looked something out of a magazine. Dark chandelier above his dramatic black covers and red pillows, one side had the full window to ground length windows with the breathtaking view of the city, while the other side had a couch and two chairs surrounding a coffee table, and more windows. Edward's room was positioned on the corner of the building, so he had the most windows of any room. He had a full wrap-around balcony, and a leather chase with a green pillow beside it.

"You can tell you were a bachelor," I chuckled, looking at all the dark furniture and leather.

He smirked, snapping his fingers.

Instantly, a white head popped from the opposite side of the bed. She got excited as soon as she saw her Daddy, and scrambled up on top of the bed, and off the other end, toward us. She was gorgeous! All white, head to toe, with some light tan color. Fluffy, with folded ears, big dark eyes, bushy tail.

She jumped and yelped at Edward's legs, until he reached down for her and picked her up, groaning, "Bella, this is Cora Corona."

"Hi baby!" I said, petting her soft fur. "She's beautiful!"

"She's a four month old, Alaskan Malamute."

"You love Alaskan dogs, huh?"

"They're the best when you live close to Canada. Cold weather, and all."

"Yeah," I smiled, as she and Spendor fought for ownership on my face. "They're beautiful, where did you get them?"

"It took me two months to find Spendor. He's rare, so I actually had my mother put in a call to her friend, Aro, who breeds them. He kept him for me. And Miss Corona was adopted. The previous owners put an ad in the paper, saying that if no one could take care of her, she was going to the ...you know where... and I wasn't having that. She's amazingly well-trained. Very smart. While Spendor is... ornery."

"They're amazing. They love you very much."

He smiled, sitting her and Spendor down. "They're good dogs."

"Well... that means they have a good daddy."

Instantly, his hand went to my stomach, and he curled his fingers beneath the waistband of my jeans, brushing his knuckles along my skin lightly.

I bit my lip.

"We're gonna be okay," he whispered, watching his hand breeze across my stomach.

I gripped his biceps, and took a deep breath, before I lost it all when I looked back up at him.

"I know we are," I replied reassuringly.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

Groaning, I rolled over, tossing my arm back over Rosalie's body. I had taken a nap on the couch, and somewhere between, she must have climbed up here with me. Not that I minded. She used to do that shit all the time back in Seattle when I came over.

"What time is it?" I asked, stretching out my arms.

"Shhh. It's ten-ish, I think. Please don't wake up Renee."

I looked over Rosalie's shoulder, to find Bella's mother curled up on the rocking chair. Her neck was bent all funny, and the cover she was curling up with was hanging more than half-way off her body. She and Phil got into a blowout exactly two minutes after Rosalie made her dramatic show about going upstairs and discovering her sister and Edward Cullen ran away.

Of course, everyone flipped out, but Renee took it the worst. She started slapping her husband on the chest, blaming him for everything. She said Carlisle and Esme and herself all were involved because of Phil's inability to accept Edward in Bella's life, or vice versa. She blamed him for losing Bella in hers. I guessed she didn't think Bella would actually leave. _She must not have known Bella like she thought she did. Bella doesn't choose anyone over Edward. _

Phil took off that same night, and hasn't come back or called. Carlisle went out to find him, but came back a few hours later, empty handed.

"Phil never showed back up?"

She shook her head, frowning. "I tried calling Dad numerous times. He's not picking up. Fucking stubborn ass."

I nodded, burying my face into the white fabric covering her soft shoulder. Then my fucking phone started buzzing down the middle of the coffee table.

"Shit," I groaned, reaching over her and grabbing it.

"Do they _ever _stop calling you?" she huffed, changing the channel on the television.

"Fuck no," I scoffed. It was my co-worker and buddy, Paul. Giving me the update on the stocks.

I told him to schedule a meeting for me at nine-am on Wednesday, and not to call me again unless he was on fire. He didn't find it as humorous as Rosalie did, needless to say.

Tossing the phone on the table, I buried my face into the back of her blonde head. She smelled so delicious. I pondered all last night and today, trying to figure out whether or not I should let her know how I felt. She seemed so oblivious to my feelings. It pissed me off, because, _why the fuck couldn't she just make it easy on me? _

_Oh, right. Because she was Rosalie and I was Jacob and nothing was ever easy when it came to us. We were the second 'Bella and Edward', when it came to fucking relationships._

I lifted my head, looking around the cabin. Alice and Esme were in the kitchen, washing dishes. Emmett and Carlisle were playing pool. Jasper was reading a book that he looked quite interested in. We were on strict orders from all the parents that, if Edward and Bella called or texted, we must tell them. Like we'd ever actually do that, but it's funny to watch their heads snap toward us when the phone rang.

Rosalie elbowed me in the ribs, silently asking me to stop squishing her into the couch.

I apologized and laid back behind her, pushing one arm beneath her and my other arm around her, pulling her into me. I could feel her moving around, as she nestled into my warmth. Normally, I'd be aroused and trying to hide my reaction to her. But tonight, surprisingly, I wasn't. I was more than happy just enjoying her company.

She and Emmett talked every once in a while, and even cooked dinner together earlier. Steak, of course. Edward and Bella missed a good meal, to say the least. But that was the most interaction they had, except for when arguing about whether to watch football or a movie earlier. Emmett spent most of the night last night catching up on sleep, and most of the day today hanging out with Carlisle. It amazed me, how much Carlisle changes his mood. He can go from being a professional doctor telling me about seizures, to an overprotective father when it comes to Edward and his choices, to a fun, cool, dude when it comes to hanging out with the guys. Watching him laugh slightly and drink beer with Emmett was quite funny. He seemed like such a kid, though he was wearing a fancy sweater and slacks. He didn't seem as worried about Edward as Esme did. His reason to Emmett earlier was, "This isn't the first time Edward has avoided things by taking off. He'll come around."

Rosalie turned slightly, looking up at me as she lay on her back, "Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"How would you rate our friendship?"

"Huh?" I laughed.

"One through ten?"

"Point zero, zero, zero."

She frowned.

I sighed, shaking my head, "What do you want me to do?"

"Make me a glass of iced tea?"

I pondered on that, sucking in my lip, "Okay, and what do I get out of this?"

She fought back a smile, obviously joining me in the gutter, "What do you want?"

I grinned, "A... kiss?"

She quickly shook her head.

"Okay," I replied, lying back behind her, "get your own glass."

"Jake!" she pouted, turning around all the way to face me, throwing her leg and the covers over my body, "Please."

I puckered my lips to her.

"No!" she hissed, punching me in the chest.

I shrugged, and closed my eyes, "Careful, I'm fragile now. Don't want to put me back in the hospital."

"Please!" she cried, tossing her feet against mine pouting, "I don't want to go in there with Esme. She kept asking me about Bella and I don't want to be in the kitchen for an hour."

"Hush woman, you're gonna wake up your step-mother," I teased, keeping my eyes closed.

It was silent for a while. Then she scooted closer. "I don't want to kiss you," she gritted silently though her teeth.

"Why not?"

"Because we're friends, and Emmett is right in the other room."

"He's your ex."

"That's not fair."

"Sorry blondie, my offer sticks."

"Please," she continued to beg, getting even closer to me. "Please, Jake? I love you."

"Not happening, and don't use love for bribery."

"You look very handsome," she said, stroking me through my hair.

"Compliments are wonderful, but not going to help your situation."

"Dammit, Black!" she hissed. "You're such a... jerk."

"Thank you." I still didn't open my eyes. I felt her hand massage my bicep, and grinned. She was so trying to play me. Fucking beautiful woman. "American woman," I whispered, pushing her away from me playfully, "stay away from me. American woman, mama let me be. Don't come kn-"

"Quit it!" she laughed, as I began to tickle her ribs. She started kicking, laughing even louder.

I noticed Carlisle and Emmett turn their heads in our direction, but I didn't stop, just covered Rosalie's mouth from her contagious loud laughter, "Shh, you're gonna wake her up!" I gripped her wrists when she tried to swing at me, and continued my assault.

After awhile, she caved in. "Okay!" she mumbled beneath my palm.

"Okay, what?"

She huffed, slapping my hand away, "Fine. One kiss. Make it quick."

I shook my head, "No dice."

"Ugh! Bu-"

"No dice unless you _want _to do it."

She glared at me, pursing her lips. Then she turned and cocked her head, looking behind us toward the two playing pool. She was worried Emmett would see us.

I rolled my eyes, laying the side of my face on top of my extended arm beneath me.

She turned toward me, curling her arms between us, "I'm afraid it'll hurt Emmett's feelings," she whispered. "Even if... you know... we're not together, that's kind of rude."

"People do it all the time when they break up. They move on. Bella and Edward had no problems fucking macking in front of Jasper and Tanya."

"I know," she frowned, plucking her nails against my white t-shirt.

I licked my lips, pressing her hips into me. "Let me ask you something," I whispered. "If Emmett wasn't here and didn't know... would you kiss me?"

She thought about it for a second, taking a deep swallow. Then she met my eyes, and nodded slightly.

Instantly, the stupid girly butterflies hit my stomach. "And... what if Emmett suddenly left the room?" I asked, looking over her shoulder.

She shrugged, whispering, "I guess it'd be okay."

"Guess what."

She looked at me, confused.

I smiled, "Emmett just walked into the bathroom."

She twisted her head around as fast as lightning, and saw he wasn't there. Then she twisted around, "Fine, hurry up."

"With tongue."

"Okay, okay, hurry," she said, motioning me with her hands.

I smirked, pulling her face to me. My thumbs caressed her cheeks, and she parted her mouth, giving my tongue much desired allowance. I swept it in delicately, massaging the top of her tongue with mine lazily. Her fingers found my hair, tugging it tight as she inhaled me. Her soft little hum caused my body to react. I couldn't help it. I pushed her tiny body as far into me as possible, then slid my right hand behind her neck, to help support her head. She tasted so good, so sweet against my mouth. It amazed me, with as many women that I've kissed... no one's lips matched mine like hers did. I pulled back to give her some oxygen, but she shook her head, pushing me back into her. I laughed, and felt her tongue push back into my mouth. After a few seconds, I began to suck on her bottom lip, and she pushed into me more.

We heard the bathroom door open, and she quickly pushed herself away from me. Reluctantly, I released her, because I didn't want to put any pressure or guilt on her. Her eyes had darkened into a beautiful shade of lust, and her pink lips were swollen slightly. I gave her my best soft smile, licking her taste off my lips. I felt like we were making out on her parent's house in high school, and her dad just walked in the room. We knew a secret. We held that secret.

She smirked, closing her eyes and shaking her head, "Go get my tea."

Rolling my eyes in my head and groaning, I pushed myself over her and off the couch. I quickly readjusted Renee's neck to where it didn't look broken in the damn chair, and dragged my feet all the way into the kitchen.

"Hey Jacob," Esme smiled slightly, drying off a glass with a towel.

"Sup," I replied, pulling the pitcher of tea from the fridge.

"I saw that," she whispered with a smirk that looked slightly like Edward's, as she nodded her head toward the couch.

I grinned at her, pouring Rose the glass. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she said, leaning her elbows against the counter. "You two make a beautiful couple."

"Thanks," I replied, putting the pitcher back, and pulling a few lemons out of a plastic bowl.

"How long have you two been together?"

I shrugged, cutting the lemon slices down the middle and sticking them on the rim of the glass, "We're not, really. I mean, maybe one day."

"You two have a lot of passion," she said with a tender smile. "It'd be a firecracker relationship, I think. Very loving, passionate, fire..." She seemed like a very nice woman. Perhaps, a little lonely, or maybe just a knowing woman. An old soul? Regardless, I liked Edward's mom. She reminded me of those TV-moms you see on television. Always beautiful, always cooking something or cleaning something. Warm smile on her face.

"When it happens," I said, grabbing Rose's glass, "I'll let you know."

"It'll happen," she replied.

I gave her a nod, before re-entering the living room and sitting the glass on the coffee table, "Your majesty."

"Thanks!" she said, stealing it away.

I turned behind me, looking at the ridiculous image of a distraught mother with an extremely sore neck.

"What are you doing?" Rosalie asked me, as I picked up Renee from the chair.

"Shh," I whispered. "I'm gonna put her to bed. No sense in her being out here with the loud television and bright lights."

"I'll help you," she said, jumping off the couch.

Rosalie followed me down the narrow hall, down the steps, and into their bedroom. She tucked down the covers, and I gently laid her stepmother on the bed, turning her head so she didn't make her neck any worse. Rosalie watched as I covered her up, and turned on the ceiling fan.

She had a smile on her face.

I rolled my eyes at her, and adjusted the pillow for Renee. Then we turned out the lights, and closed the door behind us.

"You know," she said, nudging me in my arm as we headed back, "you're really sweet when you're not in _'Black is Back' _mode."

"Don't knock my slogan," I replied.

"I'm just sayin'," she giggled. "You're a good guy, Jake."

I stretched my arms up in the air, not failing to notice her eyes trail to my now exposed stomach, "Yeah, well, don't tell anyone. I'd hate to ruin my reputation."

She shook her head, smiling, "You're a trip, dude."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Please do."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Bella took a long, hot shower in my bathroom while I took the dogs for their walk.

It was raining, so of course, Cora was frightened, while Spendor tried to take off in it. He was a water hound. Cora always hated being out in storms. I reckoned it had to do something with her previous owners, the stupid dicks. I could never understand how people treated animals unfairly, but was thankful she was with me now.

Once I was back inside, and the dogs were running around the place, I found Bella soaking wet, wrapped up in a small, white towel.

She had music playing on my surround sound, currently, _'All Around Me' _by _Flyleaf_. That damn song... It fit my mood to a tee. Bella was in every thought I had in my mind.

Her hair was dripping water down her shoulder. She looked fucking... _dear God._

I smiled, walking over to her, saying huskily, "Don't you look beautiful..." as I pulled her into me.

She blushed, looking down to the ground, "Stop it."

"Stop _what_?" I asked, licking the water from her shoulder slowly, all the way up her neck.

She squeezed my arms, resting her face in my shoulder, "You know what."

"Mmm," I hummed, trailing my hands down the towel, and up, under it. I squeezed her bare behind in my palms a few times, "You smell so _good_. Strawberries and cinnamon."

"Stopppp," she said, her fingers gripping my shirt.

"What am I stopping?" I teased again, caressing the back of her thighs as far down as I could reach.

"Edward," she sighed, her fingers almost ripping through my shirt, "I thought you said that we were going to go out to _eat_."

"We are," I mused, sucking the bottom of her earlobe between my lips.

She attempted to clear her throat as I pushed her into my hips.

I released her ear, and began to nibble and bite on the sensitive skin beneath it, "You taste incredible."

She shivered, not trusting her hands to roam around on me, "A-aren't you hungry?"

"Yes."

"Don't you want to eat then?"

I smirked and closed my eyes, licking her skin, "Of course, dear."

"Well, if you release me... I can get ready... and we can go."

"Or," I whispered, tilting her head back. I licked underneath her chin, around her neck, to the other side, "I can eat here, _first_, and then we can go eat afterward..."

"What do you..." she stopped talking, and gasped, burying her face in my chest, "Edward, you did _not _just go there."

I laughed, nodding into the crook of her neck, "I did."

"You're making me blush," she giggled.

I gripped her ass tightly and pulled her against me, off the ground, and up my body.

She wrapped her legs around my waist, and her hands behind my neck. Then she extended her arms, arching her back so she could look at me, "You are being very bad right now."

I grinned at her, pushing a few canisters back from the top of my kitchen isle. Then I lifted her up in the air, placing her bare ass on top of it. _Mmmm_. _She did NOT want to know the delicious thoughts that ran through my mind at that very second._

"What are you," she looked around all the windows in my place, "Edward, no."

"Yes," I said, untucking the towel from her breasts. She tried to grab it from my fingers, but I wasn't allowing it. I pulled it from her completely, and tossed it behind me. Cora ran and grabbed it, before taking off out of the room. "Uh oh, you're in trouble now," I chuckled, "Cora loves towels. You won't be getting that back."

"Edward," she gasped, pulling me to her as a shield, "I am not going to be naked in front of all these windows!"

"There are windows everywhere. There's no escaping them."

"THAT'S MY POINT!"

"Bella," I chuckled, enjoying the sound of her ass sliding toward me on the granite countertop, "please relax."

She bit her lip, shaking her head. She seemed nervous as fuck. There would be none of that in _my _house. Especially when she looked _this _damn sexy.

I ran my hand up her back, and massaged behind her neck, "Bella."

"Hmm?" she shivered.

"I'm going to lay you back now."

"Mmm, no," she whispered, rolling her eyes in the back of her head when I hit a secret hot spot between her neck and spine.

I spread her legs, and stepped between them. Then I began to massage her inner thigh with my left hand. I knew she wanted me to do it; her body was reacting just as quickly as mine was_. But those damn nerves... _ I trailed my index finger around her belly button, then down, between her legs, to her sweetest spot. Tapped it teasingly.

"E-Edward," she trembled, keeping her eyes closed, "we can't do this here."

"We can do this anywhere we want," I whispered, kissing along her collar bone.

"Mmmm, but people could be watching..."

"Most likely," I said into her skin.

"I can't..." she gasped, clawing at my shoulders.

"Your body is saying differently," I said, stroking her extremely slick, delicate folds with my index finger. "_Very _differently."

"Stop teasing me and it _wouldn't _be," she hissed at me.

I looked up at her, and she gasped when I did. I'm sure my eyes were dark and lusted, and my pupils dilated. That's what she did to me. Turned me on with the drop of a hat. I licked my lips, and then bit my bottom one, grinning at her. "I'll make you a deal."

"W-What?" she panted, as I teased her entrance.

"I'll bet... that I can make you come in under a minute and a half. If I can't do it, then we'll stop, and continue this later."

"Ed-"

"And," I continued, as my fingers sought around her lower body, "if I can do it in under a minute... perhaps around thirty seconds, and you come _really _hard, then you never argue with me about windows again."

She shuddered, her face flushed in a beautiful, dark pink blush, "and... if you can't?"

"Don't you worry about that, beautiful," I whispered. "I know I'll be able to do it."

She swallowed, closing her eyes, "And how are you so sure?"

I licked my lips, pulling her face closer to mine so I could speak against her mouth, "Because it's what I'm good at."

She hesitated, but didn't argue when my hand found her collar bone. I pushed her back, against the cold top. I slid her all the way to the edge of it, and began to massage her hips, with more of my secret hot spots. Especially the ones an inch of each side of the hip bones. Those were the best. After that, I grabbed the remote on the second counter of the island, and put two minutes on the timer, before handing the remote to her.

She didn't open her eyes, seeming too bashful.

I grinned, placing her thumb over the red button, "Just press down when you want, and we'll start the bet."

She shook her head, blushing more as she covered her eyes with the back of her free arm, "I really hate you right now."

"No you don't," I smirked.

"Yes, I do."

"Well," I said, enjoying the goosebumps trail her skin while I blew on it, while I continued to massage those pressure points, "you won't hate me in two minutes... Press the button."

"Edward," she exhaled, as her body engulfed in trembles, "I don't know if I can do this. I want you to, _God do I_, but..."

"Shhh, my love," I whispered, kissing her inner thigh, "trust me, please."

"I do…" she stated.

"Then press the button."

She argued with herself internally for a moment, then re-covered her face, and pressed the button, before dropping the remote behind her head.

_She was so sexy._

I smiled at that thought, and then lifted her up in my hands, for a better angle. The one thing I've learned about women is, it isn't the speed of my motions, but about details of her. If a leg or foot twitches, you've hit a spot. Paying attention to the different sounds she makes, or the way she tugs on my hair, or the way she trembles... those are all _perfect _hints.

She was _incredibly _wet already, so I took that at my advantage. Because she was so aroused, I could give her what I knew would work; a G-Spot, clitoral mixture orgasm...

I started with a wide tongue, opening her up gently and slowly. She tasted fucking _fantastic _on my tongue. Bella moaned, instantly arching her back to me. I drug my warm, wet tongue up the length of her, and pointed my tongue when I got to her bud, then circled around, and grazed down again. Repeatedly. While I was doing that. I inserted two fingers in, and they fit without complications. She was highly aroused, which made me smirk cockily against her skin. She was feeding my ego tonight. I curled my fingers up, and found that spot a few inches inside that drove her wild. I began to massage it quickly, stroke, after stroke, after stroke, applying more pressure each time.

Bella's shutter intensified when I started to increase my tempo. With my free hand, I held her onto the countertop, so she'd stop squirming as much. She threw her legs over my shoulders, which spurred me more. Her right hand was right above her breast, while her left hand clutched the skin on my arm aggressively. She moaned loudly, begging me to not stop. _Like I would_. Using my top lip, I managed to push the hood from her clit, and after a few more rolls of it around my tongue, I sucked it in gently between my lips. I worked both my suction and my tongue on it, while my fingers massaged her G.

"FUCK!" she gasped, arching her back so high in the air I thought she'd snap her spine.

She glanced down at me for a second, and our eyes connected, before she threw her head back. I caught a quick glance of the clock, and then continued. Anytime she began to gasp for air and try to move away, I held onto her tighter with my free hand. I made damn sure she didn't go anywhere.

I loved hearing her shout and moan my name, especially those girly, seductive moans, shouting, "Mmmm, Edward ...don't stop," as she yanked and tugged my hair. She lifted her hips up for more friction, which I allowed, because I wanted to win.

Ten seconds after that thought, I did.

Bella's double orgasm hit strong and hard, and she came powerfully, shaking and rocking and gasping and moaning and everything else. I could feel her muscles clenching around my fingers, and I loved it. I held her down and continued, despite her struggles to get away from me after the orgasm washed over. I still had over a minute to go, and I was going to use my time up.

"Edward," she cried, tugging my hair, "I can't... y -you can't... ungh... wait!"

I removed my fingers, and replaced them with my tongue. One glance down at me, and she threw her head back, as another orgasm washed over her. This time, that muscle tightened against my tongue, and I fucking _loved _that feeling. They kept coming, just as she did. Over, and over, more intense and strained than the last.

I kissed along her like I'd kiss her mouth, licking and suckling, and humming vibrations. By the time the buzzer went off, Bella was so spent, she couldn't even grab the remote. I smiled, leaning over her. After muting the alarm, I kissed down her stomach, heading back toward my favorite spot.

"You can't," she panted, tugging hard on my hair, "it's too sensitive. Everything is."

"Everything?" I asked, caressing her hips.

"Mmm."

If she opened her eyes to see my fucking smug ass grin, she'd probably smack it off my face.

This entire building couldn't hold my ego at that moment.

"Mmmm," she moaned again, brushing her fingers through her still-damp hair. "You win. You win, you win, you win."

I smirked. _Fucking brilliant._

I pulled her limp body off of my countertop, smiling wide at that sound of skin on granite. She threw her arms around my neck, and I walked around Spendor, who took it upon himself to take a nap in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"Where are we going?" she asked, clutching me tightly.

"Shower. I need one, and I thought you'd like to help me before we go."

"I'd love to," she said as I sat her down inside of it. She quickly helped me strip, throwing my clothes outside the glass door. Then she pulled me to her, attacking my mouth with her lips and tongue.

"Mmm, whoa," I chuckled, jerking her to me with my right hand as I turned on the water with my left.

"Can we do it before we go?" she whispered, almost bashfully, but so adorably.

"Do you want to?" I asked, as we got soaked from the spray.

She checked me out, her eyes trailing down my body. Then she looked up at me, and nodded.

I grinned, pulling her tightly to me, "Okay. Sounds good to me."

Bella twisted around, and bent over, placing her hands on top of the seat in my shower, before turning and looking back at me, "Can we do it like this?"

Seeing her body, glistening wet, in _that _position... I cleared my throat, coming up behind her, "Anyway you want to, love."

"Like this, please."

...Any other time, I'd be embarrassed to say that it didn't take me that long to get mine. _But can you really blame me?_

The sounds of our skin slapping against each other, and our moans and pants combined and echoing through the bathroom walls... _Yeah. Enough said._

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I walked over, handing Emmett and Carlisle their fifth beer, then plopped down on Jasper's lap. "Whatcha reading?"

He turned the page and curled his arm around me, but didn't lift his eyes from the book, "I am reading, 'Nathan Bedford Forrest: An Autobiography', by Jack Hurst."

"What's it about?" I asked, turning the book a bit so I could see the cover.

"It's about Nathan Bedford Forrest. He was the only soldier to rise from the rank of private to general during the U.S. Civil War."

"Interesting," I lied, rubbing the top of his head, "do you like it?"

"Pretty damn interesting indeed," he said, still not looking up at me.

I lifted my eyes to see Emmett laughing, pointing and making fun of Carlisle. That man had a huge laugh. _ Must be from all the muscles._

Jasper huffed, readjusting me on his knee.

"Am I bothering you?" I asked.

He shook his head, "No, but you have a bony ass and it's digging right into my leg."

I giggled, pushing down harder on him, "How about there?"

"That's... gonna cost you later," he said, readjusting me once more. "Stay."

"Ugh, I'm not a dog."

"So?"

"So don't make commands at me."

"Fine. Alice, my sweet, caring, beautiful girlfriend, will you please stay still, so I don't have to go to the hospital just to have your tailbone removed from my thigh?"

I sighed heavily, "I guess. But I have gossip. Can I tell you later?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to hear gossip. I'm a dude, Al."

"But... guys gossip more than women."

"Can't you tell Rose?" he chuckled, massaging my knee.

"No. She all ready knows."

"So go tell Jake."

"He... partially, sort of, but not really knows..." I shrugged. "But I can't tell him because I can only tell you."

"Why's that, sweetheart?" he asked, turning the page.

"Because you're my boyfriend and if I told anyone else it'd be like, a breach, or something."

He smirked, shaking his head, "You are relentless, Alice Brandon."

"That's what they say."

"Yo, Allycat!" Emmett shouted.

Sighing, I lifted myself off of Jasper's lap, and headed toward the pool table, "Yes?"

"Who's better at pool, Carlisle or me?"

"Carlisle," I smirked.

He glared at me, while Carlisle rubbed my back. "That's my girl," Carlisle chimed. "You're the daughter I've always wanted."

I smiled up at him.

"FUCK NO, everyone knows I'm better," Emmett scoffed. "She's just saying that because you're the adult and she wants to suck up." I threw blue chalk at him, while Carlisle called him a sore loser.

As they got back into their game, I noticed Jacob in the pool room, smoking a cigarette. Pursing my lips, I went in there, and found him sprawled over a lounge chair.

"Hey Jake," I said, sitting beside him. "Whatcha doing in here?"

"Enjoying the quiet," he replied, exhaling smoke.

I smiled at him, curling my legs up beneath me, "Sucks that I'm here then, huh? I'm never quiet."

He turned at me, and grinned, "At least you know who you are. Most women don't."

I bit my bottom lip, examining his wardrobe. Dark jeans, faded. Expensive. White plain t-shirt. Belt. Dark shoes. He had a dark goatee, and his hair was fixed sexy, short, dark and the middle of it was spiky, like on New Year's. Sexy, tan complexion. "You have a lot of experience with women, dontcha Jake." It wasn't a question.

He smirked, "Somewhat."

"Humor me. What's my best feature?"

He furrowed his brows, taking a deep drag as he looked me over, "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Physically or-"

"All."

He sighed, checking me out, "Physically... You have sexy lips. The bottom lip is fuller than the top. I like that. And in general... I like how outgoing you are. It's so much hotter than when a woman is all secretive and shy. Not that that is always bad, but... I like confidence."

"Do you want to know what I think is your best feature?"

He grinned, sipping on his beer, "Do tell."

"In general, your arrogance. It's hot, I'm not going to lie. And your voice. Plus you've got a kickass paying job. And the whole dark and brooding thing going for you. My favorite physical quality is... your mouth, probably. Your facial hair, with the whole 'stache, goatee thing... full lips... it's nice."

His grin grew wider, "Thanks."

I nodded, stealing his beer and taking a sip, "What's Bella's best physical quality?"

"Her boobs."

I giggled, "Really?"

"Yeah. They're perky. I bet Edward's got one beneath his chin right now."

I slapped him on his leg, and he stole his beer back from me. "What's Tanya's?"

"Her ass."

I lowered my brows, "Really? That's... she doesn't really have an ass..."

He turned slowly, and bit his lip, nodding.

From the look of his eyes, I got what he was saying, "Ew. Ewwwww Jake! Really?! She let you put it i-"

"That's probably why Edward kept her around so much."

I gagged, shaking my head and waving my hands, "No more, ew, stop! I'm gonna get sick."

He laughed, shrugging nonchalantly.

"What about Bryan?"

He stared into the water, shrugging again, "She could ...suck a mean one."

I covered my heated face, closing my eyes, "You're very honest, aren't you?"

"Why not? What's the point in lying?"

I sighed, choosing not to answer that. "What about... Rosalie's?"

I watched him swallow hard, and then light another cigarette.

He suddenly acted disinterested in continuing this conversation.

"Jake? What's hers?"

He took a sip of his beer and another long drag, "Honestly... I like everything about Rosalie. She's got the perfect body, perfect face, perfect... everything."

My heart began to pound as I listened to him talk about her. I didn't know why. Normally it only did that when I knew a secret, or when Jasper was around, or when I saw Edward and Bella together. "What about Esme?"

"Edward's mom?"

"Yeah," I giggled.

He laughed, "Uh. I'm gonna have to say her... legs. Damn, sexy legs. Perfect calves."

"What about Renee?"

"Dude, she's like my mother."

"So!"

He sighed, scratching his head, "I guess her eyes. Big eyes."

I nodded, stealing his beer back and drinking more of it.

"What's Jasper, Edward, and Emmett's best physical quality?"

I bit my lip, thinking, "Emmett has dimples and broad shoulders. He can toss a woman around in the bedroom, and that's hot to fantasize about. Plus he's a teddy bear when you get to know him. Um... Edward's is... probably that hair, or his jaw. I think he has a sexy jaw. Nice lips too... Um, Jasper's is... I mean, I love all of him, but most importantly, his..." My voice cut off as I giggled, "Can I say his tongue?"

Jacob laughed, throwing his head back, "Dear God, you _did _get corrupted in this cabin." I started to question him, but he answered before I could. "I heard about the whole oral sex thing. Congratulations."

I blushed, biting my lip hard, "It's nice."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Most women would agree with you. From what I've learned, getting eaten out is the best thing."

I shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, "Do you, uh, like to do that? ...To a woman?"

He turned at me, licking his lips, and looking cocky, "Do I like to eat pussy?"

I looked away, laughing and covering my face. "God, Jake, you're freakin' vulgar."

He snapped his fingers in front of my face, laughing, "Alice, look, I'm over here. Don't turn away."

I turned toward him, and peeked at him through my index and middle finger that was covering my face.

He smirked, leaning over and pulling my hands down, then looking me directly in the eye, "Yes. I love eating pussy."

My blush grew hotter. "That's... good."

He nodded, sipping his beer. "Do you like to suck dick?"

I couldn't stop laughing, I was so embarrassed, and I don't know why, because I'm not normally this bashful. "...Yeah..."

"Are you good at it?" He asked that like it was as simple as breathing.

My eyes bounced to his, and he was silent, patiently waiting on my response. He looked so laid back, so confident and cool. Like he didn't have a care in the world.

I nodded.

"How good?"

I bit my lip again, "Have had no complaints yet."

He grinned, holding his fist out to me. I pounded my knuckles against his, as he stole his beer back.

"Jake, can I ask, like, a personal question?"

"Yeah."

"Uh... what's it like, for a guy, when he... does that... you know... gives head? Like, is it...? I don't know... what's it like to do that?"

He took a deep breath, shrugging, "Women are _beautiful _naked, and to truly respect a woman and show her what she's about sexually, the man should be more than willing. I mean, think about it. Men have entirely all the control during sex at that point. You have this woman, completely vulnerable and at your disposal... It's an amazing rush to know that any tiny bit of movement can drive her crazy when she's like that."

"Have you ever done it to a woman that wasn't... taken care of well?"

He about spit out his beer, coughing, "Fuck no. Thank fucking _God_."

"Just asking," I giggled.

"The women that I meet take care of themselves. I don't worry about that shit. I keep myself clean, she keeps herself clean, we fuck at some point, and sleep later. No big deal."

I laughed, shaking my head, "You seem to have women all figured out."

He sighed, leaning back in the lounge chair, "...all but one."

"Who's that?"

He didn't remove his eyes from the water, as he ran his finger around the rim of the bottle, whispering, "Someone who... thinks I'm invisible, I guess, unless it's at her convenience."

I twitched my lips, leaning back in my chair as things started to make sense about Jacob to me, "Hey, Jake. Have you heard of the story of Alferd the ghost?"

He shook his head, looking... pretty damn miserable, suddenly.

"Well," I said, trying to keep up the high spirit, "Alferd was a ghost who thought he was invisible, that no one could see him. He tried to be recognized, but it never worked out. He did this for years and years, with no change. He about caved in all together. Then... one day, he saw this woman that was... like the world stopped, and she was _everything_, you know? And he would die again just to have her see him, because he knew deep inside that he was the one for her. He wished and wished and wished that he could be seen. Then he got angry. And he threw a tantrum, right in front of her. Just, launching things at her, screaming at the top of his lungs, I'm talking, profanities left and right. He was MAD! And one day, the girl had enough, turned around and said, 'HEY! I know you're there! But if you want me to see you in a good light, then dammit, _present _yourself in a good light! No one is fucking invisible to the eye. Only to the heart. If you want in my heart, then do something to get in there. Because I'm not handing out keys for free here!"

Jacob smirked, shaking his head. I watched him ponder over my story, and then shrug his shoulders. "Yeah well, did Alferd the ghost have competition the size of a whale, with... broader shoulders, perhaps? If so, what then?"

_Just as I suspected_, I grinned. _He likes Rose!!_

Clearing my throat, I answered, "_If _he had competition like that, but the female noticed him anyway... I'd say that Alferd was halfway there all ready. The rest would be... up to him."

He finished his beer, then stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Out. I'm thinking about going to the tattoo shop here in town."

"How many tattoos do you have already?"

"Two."

"Show me."

He stood up, pulling up his shirt over his neck and dropping it off on the chair.

_God damn. _His body. Every freakin' ab defined and solo... eight pack... V dipping down... Firm pecks, with very faint chest hair in the middle... Muscles on his shoulders, biceps, forearms... The muscles on each side of the abs... His jeans on his hips... He was sexy, I had to admit. He reminded me of those guys that, in school, were shy and never got any action, but you knew had potential... then grew up looking like a damn sex symbol that could take over the world with that body.

_No wonder he is so cocky._

My mouth had to be hanging open.

He turned, showing me his right shoulder. There was black Celtic cross with wire wrapped around the middle.

Then he twisted, and I gasped. He had an _amazing _tattoo_;_ all in black, stretching from shoulder blade to shoulder blade, in tribal-like fire flames, with a strong black wolf in front, standing tall in front of the flames, showing a side-profile. It was insane to look at. Very bold and beautiful. The kind you wanted to lick. _What the fuck was Rosalie thinking?! No offense to Emmett, because I loved Emmett like my brother... but come on. Jacob was hot. She has to see that he is!_

"Those are amazing!"

He grinned, picking up his shirt, "Thanks. Drew them up myself."

"What are you gonna get tonight?"

"No ink."

"Then..."

He stuck out his tongue.

"A tongue ring?! That's HOT!"

He licked his lips and grinned, "I hope. We'll see."

"Can I come?"

His grin fell.

"Please Jake?! Please, I _swear _I'll be quiet and all of that, I just want to go and watch!"

He didn't seem convinced.

"I could... see if _Rosalie _wants to come," I suggested evilly. "You could be the man with two ladies on his arm. Jasper's nose is stuck in a book anyway, he won't want to do anything with me until later."

He smirked, shaking his head, "Fine. If Rose comes, you can go too."

"Yes!" I shouted, hugging him.

Then I ran inside the living room, finding Rosalie sprawled out on the couch still.

She looked up at me, annoyed at my bright face. "What?"

"Get up; we're going in town with Jacob."

"Why?" she growled, pulling her covers back that I yanked off of her.

"Because, there's nothing to do here now that Edward and Bella are gone, because everyone's down, and we're all bored. Jake's going into town, he wants us to come. I want to go. And I can't go unless you go."

"Why, does he want me to babysit you?"

"Please Rose?" I begged, "He wants to get a tongue ring. I have to see this."

Her eyebrow lifted, and she got a grin on the side of her lips. We were both upstairs quickly.

I came down wearing a blue jean skirt and black tube top, tall leather boots, or in Edward's words 'hooker boots'. Ten minutes later, she was back down as well, wearing tight jeans with red boots, a white tubetop with a red belt around it. She looked good... _Hmmm_.... Jake changed his white t-shirt for a dark blue t-shirt, and a dark red, long designer jacket that had decor arts of red and dark blue on it -- that only he could pull off and look good in it.

We said goodbye to everyone, and I couldn't help but notice Emmett frown as we rushed off to Jake's arms. I felt bad for not inviting him, but he seemed occupied with Carlisle, and plus, this was Jake's night.

It was like a love version of the Bermuda Triangle.

Jasper made Jake swear that I'd be safe all night, or he'd 'rip off your motherfucking dick, chop it in pieces, and make you swallow it', because 'that girl is everything to me.'

He was definitely getting lucky tonight if I had anything to do with it.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

By the time we were downstairs and in my car, we both had huge grins on our faces.

I told her we were going to my favorite upscale place, _Canlis_. It was a romantic, candlelit restaurant with a second story that mounted and overlooked the Lake Union. Very high class. Dress to the nines, not getting in unless you know someone...

Bella chose to wear a strapless, black mini-dress that had a black leather belt that went around high waist, with a gold buckle. I wore dark slacks, a black sweater over a collared white shirt, with a tan tie beneath the sweater that matched Bella's buckle. Her hair was left down and dried naturally, causing beautiful ripples to cascade it. My hair had a mind of its own, but she kept complimenting it, so I didn't do much to it.

We looked amazing together. With Bella being back on my arm, I honestly felt like I could conquer anything.

I made sure she knew that too.

Bella's fingers found mine on the gearshift, and she pushed them through. I smiled at her when we hit a red light, and she smiled back.

"You're so beautiful."

She blushed, blinking slowly.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

She giggled, biting her lip.

"What?" I grinned.

"It's green."

"Oh," I cleared my throat, putting my car in first. When we got to the restaurant, I opened the doors for her, and threw my jacket around her shoulders. Everyone needed an extended reservation in here, but being friends with Emmett had its advantages, wherever I went. Because his family knew everyone important, so did he... which meant I did as well.

The hostess greeted me with a pleasant smile, looking overjoyed to see me. She used to ask me out whenever Em and I came in here. I quickly pulled Bella against me.

"Mr. Cullen! How are you this evening?" she asked, in her cheerleader voice that made Bella force a tight smile.

"Good, thank you. Table for two, semi-secluded, and overlooking the water, please."

"Right this way."

We followed her, and Bella's eyes lit up at the golden flickers, glimmer and candles surrounding the white tablecloths, the comfortable plush seats, the piano lounge, and the incredible views. I held her chair out for her, which she accepted and sat with another blush.

As soon as I sat down beside her, she grasped my hand, pulling it into her lap. I squeezed her knee reassuringly, and handed her a menu.

She bit her lip, looking over it.

The waiter greeted us, and I ordered two glasses of ice water, before asking her what she'd like to drink.

Bella frowned, twirling an end of her hair around her finger as she continued reading.

"What's the matter, angel?"

"I can't... drink, anymore."

"Sure you can."

"But... the baby..."

"A glass of wine on rare occasion won't hurt, but... they have sparkling cider. We can get that, I don't mind. Would you like to do that?"

She smiled, and nodded.

I told the waiter her favorite kind, Virginia Sparkling Crisp Apple Cider, which was stored in my brain from years before.

Bella giggled, "You remembered?"

"I remember everything about you, silly girl."

She ran her hand along my forearm, and I tucked the hair behind her ear. "So, what will it be?"

She exhaled, scanning through the choices, "What do you recommend?"

"This restaurant is ranged in a three course meal. Salad as a first. Are you in the mood for a warm second course, or a chilled?"

"Mmm... I dunno." she shrugged, "Chilled, I guess?"

"Seafood?"

"Sounds good."

"All right," I chuckled. "Do you like shrimp still?"

"Yes."

"Get the Blue Hawaiian Prawns. It has carrots and ginger on the side... You'll like that."

"Mmm," she agreed. Then she frowned, "This place is _expensive_."

I massaged her knee, sliding closer to her as I whispered in her ear, "Don't you worry about that. You're with me."

"Edward," she exhaled, but stopped when I brushed my index finger over her pouty lips.

"I told you when I asked you to marry me. I want to take care of you. So..." I shrugged, caressing her cheek with my thumb, "...let me take care of you."

She smiled and closed her eyes, shaking her head, "Okay."

After ordering that for her, and the famous Braised Beef Short Rib for myself, I turned all of my attention to Bella. Her eyes were examining the tealit candles around our table, and she smiled. I leaned in and kissed her cheek, before brushing the hair off her shoulder. She kept her eyes closed, turning into me as I massaged the back of her neck. She seemed to relax under my arm, and I loved that feeling... knowing that I could give her some security, and comfort.

We'd had such a hellacious couple of nights, and though I was mentally and physically exhausted from it all, and the lack of sleep I'd had in the past three nights... being with her made all the shit we had to deal with diminish away. It was just her and I, together, in the heart of Seattle.

It felt nice to not be able to talk, but express our feelings for each other with tender caresses and gentle smiles.

She cut into her appetizer, and held the fork out to me. I grinned, biting into it. She kissed me while I chewed, then took a bite for herself.

Instinctively, my hand went to her dress, and I rubbed over her stomach. I watched her blush when I did that -- every time I did that, now that we know -- and it made me grin. She was so fucking beautiful. Glowing even. _God, how did I get so lucky?_

She sighed, humming and swallowing, "Delicious." I grinned, and agreed. Then I gave her a bite of mine. Again, she hummed and nodded, giving her praises. The rest of the second course included bashful and delightful grins and no conversation.

Afterward, Bella glanced over the menu again, pursing her lips. She held her right hand over mine, as I continued to massage her stomach. "What do you recommend for the main course?"

"The tenderloin is fantastic."

"Edward, that's seventy dollars for one di-"

"Shhhh, don't worry about it."

"B-"

I hushed her by leaning over the edge of the round table we were glued to, and kissing her tenderly. I could hear an _'awe' _induced gush from an older lady wearing too much jewelry behind us, and I smirked against Bella's lips, before pulling away. "Get what you want, love," I whispered to her. "Please."

Caving in, Bella allowed me to order her the American Wagyu Tenderloin, Twice Baked Potato with butter and sour cream, and Foraged Forest Mushrooms with sherry, garlic, and thyme. For myself, I ordered the Australian Lobster, with gnocchi, honshimeji and king oyster mushrooms.

While we were waiting, Bella rested her head on my shoulder, and I tapped my fingers on her hip, as we listened to the piano being played. She sighed, breathing in the smells of her surroundings, as well as the amazing view of the lake.

"Edward," she whispered, turning her face up toward me.

"Mmm?"

"I can't wait to marry you."

I smiled as she pulled my face toward her, and kissed the tip of her nose, before whispering back, "I can't wait to marry you."

"I wish... that we could run away together. Somewhere only we know... far away, where no one could touch us or bring us down, ever again."

"No one will," I said, lingering my lips on the top of her head, "...I'll do my very best to make sure you're happy."

"We can't _always _be happy, Edward. Not in the real world."

"Says who?" I turned my head down to look at those wanting, caramel eyes of hers.

She shrugged.

"Think about it," I said, caressing her chin with my thumb, "...we could be that first couple in all of history to truly, undeniably, love each other. Day in, day out... Always make each other happy."

"Yeah," she hummed, fluttering her lashes slowly, "...but then, the makeup sex wouldn't exist between us."

I thought about it, and she giggled.

"Okay," I said into her ear, "scratch that."

She covered her mouth with her fingers, leaning into me so I could kiss below her ear again.

I'd never felt so happy on a date before. Not even when we were together before we split.

But tonight was special. And it wasn't because she was pregnant, or because she was my fiancée, though those factors were equally important to me. It was the mere general reassurance that she was now and will always be, forever mine. That thought alone... that one, single realization... was the reason I was unable to wipe the grin off my face for the remainder of my night.

Normally, if I were being honest with myself, I'd say that being able to love someone the way that I loved Bella gave me confidence that I could be the man I longed to be. But, now, after we've rediscovered each other, I realized... Bella loved me just as much as I needed as well. She knew every thing about me, even the negative aspects, and didn't turn away when life got extremely difficult for us.

Normally, in relationships, the man doesn't think about the romance, but the responsibilities and the next step. That's his main focus. But tonight, looking in Bella's eyes and knowing what was in store for us... romance was _all _that I thought about. And I was happy I could see that, and truly experienceit, with only her. I couldn't keep my hands off hers, or her stomach, or her neck, or hair...

There was no doubt that everyone surrounding us in this romantic restaurant knew that we were in love. And I enjoyed knowing that.

I loved how Bella has changed me for the better.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

After grabbing a twelve pack of Bud from the gas station, Jake, Alice, and I were back on the interstate, heading toward the city, and the tattoo place.

Jake swiped Carlisle's keys from the rental car, which was identical to the one they had back in Forks, according to Alice: A Mercedes S55 AMG. S-Class. I loved the stats on it... brakes: perforated 14.2" discs with 8-piston calipers at the front, and 13" rear discs with 4-piston calipers at the rear. Torque. V8, 5.5 liter.... _Beautiful _car. Tasteful and pretty, but powerful under the hood.

Jake smiled, looking over Alice, who chose to sit up front and in the middle of us, to make a bet with me about how quick he could get it up to a hundred on the interstate. I said six seconds. Jake said five. Alice timed it, and it stopped at four point seven seconds. The thing was a beast.

Alice hit the radio, blasting some _'Play' _by _David Banner_ through the surround sound. The bass was so strong, we were bouncing in the seats. Jake didn't even argue with it, though he prefers rock to anything else... and that's saying something. He must be in a decent mood.

Shouting and laughing with the two of them... It was definitely a change from the boring afternoon in the cabin.

Everyone was on pins and needles since Edward and Bella made their Bonnie & Clyde escape. Especially the parents... plus my dad was missing. Probably at a local bar getting wasted.

Needless to say, this felt like a release stronger than the orgasm I gave myself this morning, with assistance to the showerhead.

"We should go clubbing afterward!" Alice shouted over the loud music.

"Yeah, Jasper would have my ass."

"Jasper won't even notice. You don't know how he gets when he's into a book. If we're only gone for an hour..."

"We'll see Alice," Jake said.

She grinned at me, and I rolled my eyes at her.

The last thing I needed was to put myself in a situation to where I could be grinding on Jacob Black. It was bad enough that my lust factor for him grew tenfold over the past few days. Sure, I loved Emmett, but the more and more I thought about it, we didn't even know each other. So, did I love him, or the _idea _of him?

I wasn't sure. But what I was sure about was... I was starting to grow feelings for Jake. Major, _crazy _feelings for him.

And that was a BAD thing.

Because he'd never feel that way about me.

Like he said when I was stupid and wanting Emmett, and told him that I was afraid he'd have feelings for me so I lied about Edward and I doing it. He said, '_I wasn't growing feelings like that for you, Rosalie. I knew we were friends, and I was attracted to you, sure. But I knew you found Emmett attractive, as did I with other girls. I thought we had an understanding. This could have all been avoided if you would have just asked me before you presumed_.'

I was wrong when I thought he wanted me. Plus, I knew how he was with women, especially back home. He could have anyone he wanted. Him and Edward... those were the only two guys I knew in my life that could honestly snap their fingers, and have women dropping their panties.

_Why would he want me? His friend? The blonde girl who helped fix his bike, and who went fishing with him a lot?_

There was no way.

And I knew that, if I were to be in some club with him, I'd want to dance with him... I'd want to feel him... and that'd make me more confused about him, Emmett, and myself.

Jake asking me to kiss him for a glass of iced tea clenched my heart. Of course I wanted to do it, but one, I didn't want to hurt Emmett because I knew he was standing there watching us, and two, I didn't want to hurt myself. I tried my hardest to say no, but when he talked me into it, I tried to just let it be a simple kiss... but it wasn't simple.

Not when it come to Jake and me.

All I could think about was the negative ideas of Jake and myself, during the time I thought I was pregnant. That he was too young, that he resented me... the list went on and on and on again. I mean, having a baby with Jake would be a disaster for him. He wouldn't be able to be the typical young, twenty-one year old, like all his friends he went out with.

But... after I found out I wasn't pregnant, I was _crushed_. And I couldn't figure out why, because when I thought I was, I was scared and begging I wasn't, because Jake and I weren't together, and he was in the hospital, and all this stuff... but then, realizing there was no baby... that hurt worse.

And I felt selfish for wanting that.

And Jake, he was so sweet. Though he had that long, rough night in the hospital, he supported me. He held me, and whispered about what our kid would look like... and I knew he was doing it just because he wanted to be that good friend, and comfort me. That's how he was. Such a good friend.

...For a moment, I closed my eyes and pretended what he was saying last night was true. That's when I realized how much I cared for him.

Right then and there.

After we helped Bella and Edward leave, when we were back upstairs, Jake was extremely quiet. We spent the night side by side on the bed, watching movies and barely speaking. And this morning, he barely spoke to me either. Sweet little smiles, yes, but hardly any words.

When I saw him sleeping on the couch, I decided to ignore the voice in my head telling me my ex was watching, and lay on the couch with him. Even though he was out, he held me in his arms... and I loved it.

But when he woke up, guess what? Yep. Reality.

Emmett didn't want me when he had me. Jake doesn't want me at all. And me, caught in the middle of what I could have again, though I wasn't for sure I could trust the idea of me and Emmett... and the idea of what I could never have, with my best friend.

"Rose? You ready?"

I nodded, slipping back into the real world, and out of the car.

I timidly followed them into the shop, eyeing down the welcome girl with more tattoos on her face than I'd seen on those African guys overseas, on the Discovery channel. She grossed me out. I glared at her, scoffing internally, _Fucking disgusting wench._

She glared back.

"Oooh, Rose, look at this butterfly tattoo!" Alice squealed, as she perused through the ink charts.

"No thanks. Butterflies make me nauseated."

"You're such a man-like girl. If you weren't pretty and blonde and liked penis so much, I'd swear you were a dyke."

I grinned, "Thanks for the half-assed compliment."

"Just keepin' it real, sweetcheeks."

"If you two _tampons _are done bitching at each other, would you come over here and help me pick out a bar?"

Alice and I looked at each other, then ran over there, on either side of him.

"Jesus," he scoffed. "Quite the enthusiasts."

"You have to get a standard bell," I told him. "Because they're bigger. It's a plain, silver or gold barbell."

"I'm not getting that shit," he argued. "They'll give me what I want."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because... I'm Jacob Black?"

Alice and I laughed, rolling our eyes at him. _Arrogant man._

"Whatever you say, Jake."

The freaky skank tattoo girl pulled the one that Jake pointed to out from the case, and lifted it in front of him. It was black and crystallized looking on the bar, and the heads were clear, with a little black ball on the inside of each end.

"It vibrates," she said, twisting the top. The ball started to spin and vibrate, and I wanted to orgasm right there in the shop at the thought of it.

He smirked, "Brilliant. I like that one... what else?"

He picked a few ones, such as the standard platinum bar, a plain blue one, and a crazy colored one.

"I want the massage one in after you pierce it," he demanded to the tattoo guy in the chair, "please."

The guy shook his head, crossing his arms, "Standard bell. It's larger, and it'll stretch it out, so it won't close up on you when you try to change it."

"Do it, _Paco_," Jake scoffed sarcastically, slipping him a folded up amount of cash.

The guy saw the fifty on top, and glared at Jake, before reluctantly taking the cash.

Alice and I surrounded the chair, while the guy grabbed his utensils he needed. Jake scolded the pixie when she started to turn on the vibrating ring, and the tattoo guy -- whom had a hawk on top of his bald head -- stole it from her, soaking it in some peroxide type cup.

"Have you drank tonight?" the crusty man asked him.

"Does it matter?" Jake scoffed, glaring at the wad of cash on the table.

The dude shrugged, and told Jake to stick his tongue out. Then he slapped on some gloves.

He spit his mint into Alice's hand, and stuck it out, showing off his perfect, white teeth. The guy wrapped paper towel around his tongue, wiping off all the saliva. Then he grabbed this long clamp that looked like scissors on the handle, and a round circular thing on the other end. Then he squeezed Jake's tongue between that, and lifted his tongue up, making sure it was centered where he wanted it, and not hitting any veins that were important. Jake didn't look nervous at all.

I was. And Alice wouldn't stop bouncing nervously, squeezing Jake's arm for dear life.

The guy spent a few more moments readjusting the clamp to his liking. _It had to suck, having your mouth wide open like that, unless there was something in it. My jaw would hurt_. Afterward, the guy pulled out a needle that was about three inches long, and pretty freakin' wide to be diving through your tongue. He attached the barbell to the top of the needle.

Jake watched as he lifted it toward his tongue, and though his mouth was wide open, he sort of grinned. Still arrogant. Literally, about three seconds later, that long needle was placed in the circle of the clamp, and pushed through his tongue. Jake didn't even flinch or blink. He acted like it was no big deal.

"That was it?" I asked, as my heart started to race.

Jake tried to say yes, but couldn't, as the guy pulled the needle down a little and quickly pulled the bar in all the way. He dropped the needle in the cup Jake was holding, and screwed in the balls. I kept my eyes on Jake, looking for signs of discomfort. There wasn't any.

The guy wiped off Jake's mouth and released the clamp, and Jake stuck his tongue out so we could admire the handy work. It looked awesome. The bell was expensive, but looked quite sexy on there.

"Okay instructions," the guy said, exhaling, "try not to stick it past your teeth, reason being, because it's so long that it could catch and chip away your bone. Not to mention tear the piercing. When you care for it, I recommend rinsing it with warm sea salt water, after you eat, sleep, smoke, or have sex, when you wake up, and when you go to sleep. Light diet for the first few days, no hamburgers or anything thick. Pussy is okay to eat, if you're curious. Any type of stretching let us know. Other than that, enjoy your piercing."

"Thanks," Jake smirked, standing from the chair. Still showing no signs of pain. Then he turned to me, glancing at my tube top, "I'll pay for you to get your nipples done."

I slapped him on the chest with the back of my hand, "Fuck you."

"I'm serious, it'd be hot," he chuckled.

"No way!"

"Please, Rose? Come on, it'd be so hot."

"NO!" I said, turning from him.

"Well, what about a clit ring?"

"No!"

"Chicken."

I placed my hands on my hips, and turned to glare at him, "What did you just call me?"

"You heard me."

I walked over to him, and tilted my head up, so I wasn't staring at his collar bone, "I'm not a chicken."

"Yes you are."

"Stop your little third grade, name calling shit. I'm _not _a chicken."

He started making chicken noises, but grinned at me with his side smile. "Please? Please, I'll beg. Do you want me on my knees? I'll do it."

"Why do you want me to get my nipples pierced? It's not like you'll be seeing them everyday."

"Because I can see them through your shirt... and that's hot enough for me."

I glared at him again, crossing my arms over my chest.

"If you do it, I swear Rose, I'll be... your slave tomorrow. Whatever you want, I'll do it. Please?"

I watched him climb to his knees, and if he wasn't so tall and sexy, I'd think he was pitiful.

"Please?" he begged again, blinking his long eyelashes. "Please, Rose? Come on, we're buds. I wouldn't put you in harms way, I'd never-"

"Fine," I whispered, trying to ignore my heart pounding through my skin.

"Huh?"

"Fine," I scoffed. "Get up. Let's do this before I change my mind."

Jake quickly picked out two hot pink rings that had silver bars go through them. I winced at the thought of them being my nipples, but no one calls me a chicken. Ever.

I followed the tattoo guy in a closed, dark room, and Alice and Jake were right behind me. I glared at them, but Jake said there was no way he was leaving, since he was paying for it. Alice said she would cry if I didn't let her, and... I believed she would.

So they stayed.

Lying topless on the table while the gross disgusting hawk man rubbed ice on my nipples was humiliating. I closed my eyes, and imagined someone hot doing it... Chase Crawford, _preferably._ Or Emmett... Or Jake. _Stop it, Rose._

My stomach started to flip erratically. I began to tremble. I felt queasy. The guy wiped my breasts down with something wet, and then marked them with a marker.

I exhaled, "Jake, I'm scared." I felt him grab my hand, and I squeezed it as tight as I could possibly squeeze. I felt like I was going into labor.

"You're okay, I've got you," Jake whispered.

I cleared my throat when the dude put the clamp on my right nipple, and tried to will away the pain from it squeezing me, by staring into Jake's eyes. My eyes were watering, but I could see him... Dark lashes... dark eyes... long eyelashes. I studied the facial hair, the arch in his top lip, his perpendicular nose... The way he slightly his cheeks turned when he gave a reassuring smile...

Alice was standing behind Jake, her eyes slightly over his shoulder, and was squeezing his biceps hard. She was just as nervous as I was, and that made me more nervous.

I wanted to cry.

I was crying.

_Shit!_

Jake lifted his free hand, wiping some tears from beneath my eyes, "If you don't wanna go through with this, now's the time to back out. You don't have to do it."

"I'm doing it," I said, closing my eyes. I lifted his hand up to my mouth, and he didn't pull away. The guy squeezed the clamp on my left nipple, and I bit down on Jake's skin. He winced a little, but let me do it, and I felt the fucking needle go through. The tears were _really _coming down now. After the piercing, I pulled my mouth away, exhaling, "That hurts so fucking bad! Oh my God! Is it done?!"

"Yes, I'm tightening the bolt now... It'll only hurt for a second, then it'll be numb."

"Holy shit!" I said, slamming my head down on the bench, "I don't know if I can do the other one."

"You're a tough chick," the guy said, "you can handle it."

"Yeah Rose, you're tough," Alice said, though I couldn't see her, since she was now completely hidden behind Jake's back.

"Are you okay Alice?" I asked her, while the guy prepped my right nipple.

"Yeah. You had like, liquid coming fr-"

"Alice, hush," Jake said.

I closed my eyes, Jake gave me his hand again, and I put it in my mouth, while I squeezed the shit out of his other one. A few agonizing moments and a cup full of tears later, I now had tiny bars with circular hoops going through my nipples. The guy wheezed through the instructions for how to care for them, and I wiped my face away, while Jake rubbed the back of my neck and told me how proud of me he was. He covered them up with white papers and tape, then allowed me to redress. I couldn't even feel it, they were so numb now.

"Alice," I said, when we re-entered the main lobby of the shop, "what 'bout you?"

"I can't, I don't ... I can't. I thought I could but you sounded like you were in pain, and I'll... "

"Nipples are the worse," the tattoo guy said, "you could get a nose piercing? Those aren't that bad."

"Yeah!" I said, nudging her arm.

Twenty minutes of begging and pleading, one beer, and the agreement that we can go clubbing after this later, Alice was bouncing in the chair. Again, I felt nervous, just watching her be nervous. The guy quickly cleaned and marked her nose, while she squeezed one of mine and one of Jake's hands. Then he shoved a tiny cork through her nose, and pulled out another one of those long needles. She quickly shut her eyes, and started talking in gibberish, or pig latin, or tongues, or something equally nerve-wracking. When he inserted the needle, her eyes clamped shut and she stopped talking. He pulled the long needle through, and curved the end around, so the silver piercing would stick. Then he sealed it, and that was it.

"YOU DID IT!" I shouted, hugging her.

"Phew, oh my God, my eyes are watering!"

"You're my hero," Jake said, hugging her.

After that, we paid our fees and tipped the guy, and then we were off.

"Now I can say you two tampons are strong bitches!" Jake chuckled, throwing his arms around us as we headed toward the car.

Alice and I looked at each other, then smiled, and elbowed him on both sides of his ribs. "Take that, _Jacob Black_!" we shouted, climbing in the car.

"Fucking women," he scoffed, hopping in after us.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward and I sat in that romantic restaurant for a couple hours, eating and sipping cider.

We listened to the music, and smiled at the sweet people that were smiling back at us, or looking at us.

He excused himself to the restroom, and I took that moment to look myself over in my compact. Never, ever, did I worry about what I looked like with a guy. But tonight, with Edward, I don't know... something about the mood we were in, and the location, and knowing anyone who could potentially hurt us was states away...

It was as if we were invincible.

...And I wanted to look beautiful for him.

...More so, I wanted to look the way he made me feel.

Because no one else made me feel like this. Not like he did.

He kissed my cheek as he returned.

The waiter came as soon as he sat down. Edward took one glance at the high check I didn't bother peak at, and stuck his card inside, thanking the waiter.

Then he leaned forward, and kissed me again, "Have I told you how beautiful you look this evening?"

I smiled, "Yes, I believe you have."

"Can I tell you again?"

I bit my lip, blushing.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Bella. _Look _at you. ...You're mesmerizing."

I looked down to the table, because his compliments always made me heat up.

He slid closer, squeezing my hand beneath the table, and whispered in my ear, "Would you like to go for a walk with me, by the lake?"

I pressed my cheek against his, and whispered back, "I don't know ...is this the part where we go near the woods and you turn into an evil man and kill me, burying my body behind the oak tree?"

He laughed, shaking the side of his face against mine, "No, that's the third act."

"Ahh," I said, pulling away, and tilting my head when I looked at him, "I'd love to, Edward."

He led me out the restaurant, and down the pier, tossing his jacket back over my shoulders.

As we walked, I tucked my left arm around his, and held his right hand in both of mine, and placed my head on his shoulder.

"So," I said, after a few moments of silence, "I just wanted to go ahead and say... I have no idea what I am doing."

He chuckled, "What do you mean?"

"I mean," I sighed, shrugging, "you'll be a better _'mother' _than I will be, I think. You know more about babies, considering your desired career position."

"I don't know everything, but ...that's what's going to be fun about it. We'll learn together."

"I really hope we don't fuck this child up."

He laughed loud, and caressed my hand with his thumb, "We won't."

"Are you nervous about it?"

"Of course... but I welcome it, at the same time."

"I never thought in a million years that, after seeing you in _Rainn_, and seeing Tanya... that three weeks later, we'd be here, talking about babies and marriage, and holding onto each other."

"Really..."

"Yeah..."

"I'd have to agree. But, Bella, I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope for it, at some point, in the back of my mind. I've longed for a life with you ever since the first day I met you."

"No you haven't," I giggled. "Edward, we were kids back then."

"Doesn't change my feelings for you."

He seemed so certain about it.

It was intimidating, how honest this was. Us.

I inhaled, squeezing him tighter, "How's come I feel so safe wrapped up in you? What is it, exactly, about _you_?"

He smirked, "Because... I'm the guy for you. Plain and simple."

"Oh, it's that easy?" I teased, nudging him in a flirty manner.

"Yes," he mused, grinning down to me as we walked, "it is."

"Mmm."

We passed by a few couples, who were holding hands and walking in the opposite direction. I took notice of how they held on to each other, by just hands, or an arm around each other. But Edward and I... we were wrapped in arms, hands, head on shoulder, head on my head... gripping tight.

...Maybe he was right.

Maybe there wasn't anyone else like us.

"Do you think this is a dream?" I asked, though it sounded cheesy. "Because... from the last night in the cabin, with all the drama... to this night... it seems unreal."

He stopped walking.

"What?" I asked, looking up to him.

_Did I upset him somehow?_

Edward cleared his throat, and turned to face me, as people passed us by carelessly.

The night shown down on the lake, giving a pleasant ricochet effect all the way down the water, toward the side walk we stood on.

He gripped my hips, and pulled me all the way against him. Then he bent down, nudged my head up gently with his mouth, and slowly pressed his lips to mine. The caress of his lips was gentle and soothing... Incredibly sensual. My body began to react at the way his lips massaged mine slowly, and I gasped when he parted my lips with his own.

I squeezed his arms tight while he seductively slid his tongue inside the warm depths of me. His tongue took it's time against mine, massaging mine with the most amazing pressure ever. He tasted of everything delicious, and my taste buds melted each time our kiss grew more intense.

We didn't care that we were giving PDA.

We didn't care when our heads turned from side to side slowly, and when people cleared their throats as they passed us.

We didn't care about the horns honking in the city, or the birds chirping...

He never let go of my hips. I never let go of his arms.

Tasting him was incredible.

After a few moments, he pulled away, and gave me a few pecks, before placing his forehead against mine.

I breathed heavily, ignoring the visible breath of air between us in the cold.

"...Did you feel that?" he asked, squeezing my hips tighter.

Staring into his green eyes, my legs about gave out. I swallowed and nodded against his forehead, "...Y-yes..."

"Then... we know that it's real."

I smiled and inhaled him, as he bent down and started kissing me again.

This one was just as sensual, increasing with time... until I was shaking at the knees and panting for air.

I wanted him so badly.

I think he knew it, by the lust reflecting from my eyes, back to his.

I grinned, scratching his head, and enjoyed him tremble to my touch.

"Your home?" I asked, hoping he'd catch my subtle hint.

He nodded, not taking his eyes off of mine, "Home."

"Okay," I whispered, and smiled as he lifted my face up again.

This kiss lasted longer than those other two, combined.

We stood out there, on that sidewalk, in the cold, and made out with each other for what seemed like an eternity.

And the extreme rush I felt, it didn't come from being out in public, or the people and cars and buildings surrounding us...

It didn't come from being outside, beneath the moon, and hear the subtle ripples of the water or the crickets...

...it was all him.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I texted Jasper on the way to the club, told him where we were going, and told him I had a surprise waiting for him when I got back.

He wrote back, '_I don't like that idea, necessarily, so I may come out later and check up. Not sure yet. Just be safe, please. Don't make me worry about you'._

I grinned, texting back, _'I promise I will. I'm with Jake, and he'll protect me'._

A few moments later, I received, _'just make sure his hands stay OFF of you when he's protecting you'._

I smirked, closing my phone.

_Ahh, my boyfriend. So adorable._

Jake walked between us as we entered the club. Since it was after one, the lines weren't that crazy, thank God. It only took us about ten minutes to get inside.

However, being inside was another story. I'm talking, wall to wall bodies. Rosalie grabbed my hand, and I grabbed Jake's, pulling him through the enormous crowd.

There were people all the way up, three stories, and screaming, shouting, dancing crazily. There were women in glass boxes dancing, women on top of mounts, women on bars... There had to be at least fifteen bars in this building.

It was awesome!

Jake told us he'd get us some drinks, while Rosalie pulled me out on the dance floor.

It was blaring _'Damaged' _by _Danity Kane_, and the crowd of females grew extensively. We were pushed into each other and dancing. The floor was overheated because of all the bodies, but that made it more fun. We pushed our breasts together, and she winced, and I laughed.

"Sorry!" I shouted, "I forgot!"

She shrugged, and we started dancing again.

We were in perfect rhythms, swinging our hips and shoulders.

She pulled me away when a guy came up behind me, and then I twirled us in a circle, blocking another guy that came up behind her.

We were using the buddy-system. And only really hot guys were getting past the female buddy system.

It's a known fact.

After that, was _'Unbelievable' _by _EMF. _

We sung along with the lyrics, dancing sexy and dropping down to the ground, before arching our backs and pulling it back up.

Rosalie laughed, shaking her head as we threw our hands in the air, shouting, "You're unbelievable, OH!"

Women were slapping their bodies around, heads snapping, hair flying.

I hiked up my skirt a little, so I could squat lower, and Rosalie followed me, dipping down beside me.

As we rose back up, I turned to her, "Hottie at bar number three is eyeing you down!"

She bit her lip, keeping turned away from him, and shook her ass more, "Is he hot?"

"I'd give him an eight."

"Ew, I'll pass. Ten, or no deal."

I giggled, "Okay!"

About ten songs later, my stomach was starting to tighten from the workout we were getting, and I slowed down a bit. Rosalie, however, kept moving.

We were now jamming to _'Drop It Like It's Hot' by Snoop Dog._ She licked her lips, pulling her hair up in her hands, and swaying down seductively.

I giggled, watching her put on the moves.

People were starting to clear a spot for her, and stopped dancing, so they could watch her.

_She looked like a supermodel!_

I cheered her on, and noticed as she dropped back to the ground, that Jake was leaning against the bar, watching her.

I waved to him and he gave me a nod, before turning his attention back to her ass.

As Rose swayed her hips around, playing with the ends of her shirt and sneaking peeks of her stomach to the guys watching, I pulled her to me, and started dancing on her, "You've got another hottie watching you."

She rolled her eyes, "How hot is this one?"

"A fifteen, I'd say."

"Really?" she said, here eyes widening. "Watch this then." She arched her back and started doing belly dancer sways, then dropped down to the ground. Then, keeping her head to the ground, she straightened her legs out, and bent over, she bounced her ass.

_Girl could dance. I'd give her that._

A couple of hours, countless hip hop songs, and about eight drinks a piece or so later, not counting the beer in the car, we were dancing to _'Closer' _by _Kings _of_ Leon_.

I watched as Jake set down his shot glass, and strolled back toward us. He only came out when he wanted to give us refills... but now, he was determined.

_Uh oh. He was on a mission._

He gave me a nod, and came up behind Rosalie, and started swaying his hips with hers.

She tensed up, not knowing who was behind her, and looked at me, silently asking me who it was.

I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. _Go with it._

She slowly exhaled, as Jake's hand slid from her hip, around to her stomach. He pressed her up against him, and she grinned.

She liked it.

As the chorus came on, he twisted her around, so she could face him.

And she stopped dancing. Mouth hanging open, whole nine yards...

Jake didn't seem phased by this. He continued dancing, and eventually, she loosened back up, and pressed her hips into his.

I watched as he leaned down, and whispered something in her ear, while the second verse played.

She nodded, and he bent her forward.

I furrowed my brows, trying to figure out why he was bending her forward, before turning her around.

She pressed her back against his belt and looked between her legs at me, before sticking both her hands between her legs.

Jake bent forward, ran his chin along her spine, then reached over her, grabbing her hands.

Like lightning, he flipped her up to where she did a summersault, and her thighs landed on top of his thighs. He dragged her up his body, to his pelvis. Now, he was holding her, with her legs wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck. She put her trust in him, arching her back and rubbing against him.

They looked like they were having sex on the middle of the dance floor. People were shouting, "_Damn_!" and "_Can I be next?" _and "_Go girl_!"

I laughed, cheering them on. They were turning me on.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that they were turning _everyone _on.

Sex was definitely on their minds.

It made me frown, a little, because I knew Jake really liked Rose. And Rose just broke up with Emmett. And Emmett, he was back at the cabin.

_Fuck._

_I take that back._

Emmett and Jasper strolled over to us, with both their sets of eyes on me.

I tried to motion to Jake and Rose nonchalantly, but they weren't paying any attention to me. They were in their own world.

"Hey darlin'," Jasper said, giving me a hug, "you weren't picking up your cell, so Emmett and I thought we'd come out here and check on you guys."

I tried to tell him to grab Emmett, but it was too late. He saw them when Rosalie was bent back, upside down, with Jake's hands on her hips.

Emmett's mouth was hanging open.

Rosalie opened her eyes as Jake lifted her back to him, and she stopped dancing. Jake, confused, tried to figure out what was wrong, before noticing Emmett. Then he carefully sat Rose back to her feet, and straightened up.

Emmett glared at them, his left eyebrow raised.

She looked at me, then to Emmett, then to Jake, then back to Emmett.

"Well," I said, rushing to her side, "this is awkward."

Emmett quickly readjusted his expression back to normal, then shrugged and looked away. I could tell he was pissed off. _But did he have a reason to be?_

Jake shoved his hands in his pocket, looking toward the ground, while Rosalie crossed her arms awkwardly over her chest.

We all stepped a little closer, so we could hear over the music.

"Well," Emmett scoffed, rubbing the back of his neck, "guess we didn't have to worry about Rosalie, Jasper. She seemed to be in good... hands."

Jasper looked really uncomfortable in response, while Rosalie glared at Emmett. Jake stayed put -- which shocked me. I'm surprised he didn't have a comment on this.

"I, uh, think we're all danced out now," I said, grabbing Jasper's forearm, "we can go."

He looked down at me, then crinkled his forehead.

"What?" I asked, trying not to appear nervous.

He pointed to my nose, "What's that?"

"Oh," I said, exhaling, "a piercing. Do you like it?"

"Why did you get it? I thought you hated needles."

"Correction, I hate hospitals. They're boring. Said nothing about needles."

He pursed his lips, looking at it, "...Did Jake talk you into this?"

"No," I said quickly, "I wanted it."

"Hmm."

Emmett walked over to Rosalie, as _'How Deep Is Your Love For Me' _by _Dru Hill _came on. "If you're not too busy, do you want to dance with me?"

She looked down to his hand, then brushed the hair out of her face, before turning to look at Jake. Jake looked at her blankly, before turning his face away. He was trying to not show his feelings.

It made me sad to witness this.

Sighing, Rosalie took his hand, "One dance."

"That's all I want from you, Rose."

She glared up at him, then rolled her eyes as he pulled her away.

He pulled her into a crowd of people, and through weaving bodies, I saw them start to sway. Emmett looked down to her, and no where else, while she looked nervously around the room.

"We shouldn't have come," Jasper said. "This is really fucking awkward."

"Do you want to dance?" I asked, trying to ease some tension.

He looked at Jake, who was digging through his pockets, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. Then he looked down to me, "Sure."

"'K," I said, pulling him to me.

Jake tucked a cigarette behind his ear, and stuck another in his lips, before leaving the dance floor.

I frowned, pressing my forehead in Jasper's shoulder as we danced.

"Wanna tell me that gossip now?" he asked in my ear.

I shrugged, "It's not that important this moment."

"Tell me anyways. I know you want to."

"It's a secret. I shouldn't have brought it up in the first place, it wasn't my spot."

"I can keep a secret."

"B-"

"People tell their partner's secrets all the time."

I sighed, looking up at him, "Bella's pregnant."

He stopped dancing, hands falling from my hips, mouth open.

I nodded, still frowning.

"What?" he asked in a whisper that I couldn't hear, but see.

"Yeah. But you can't say anything to anyone."

"It's Edward's?"

"Yes. Whose else would it be?"

He thought about that, then shook his head, "No one. Wow. This is... fucking crazy."

"It's life," I shrugged.

"What are they gonna do about it?"

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He looked downright depressed as he shrugged, "I mean, are they going to keep it?"

"_Jasper_!" I shouted, appalled, "I'm assuming so! That's what the majority of women _do _when they get pregnant by the love of their _life_!"

He shook his head, dumbfounded, "This isn't Bella. She doesn't want kids, she isn't re-"

"Apparently she's changed her mind."

He blinked, staring into my eyes. Then he whispered, "...Yeah. Or Edward changed her mind for her."

"Jasper. You like Edward, come on. He's my best friend. It just happened."

"Yeah, you're right," he said, pulling me to him. "You're right."

"I know you're like, her BFF or whatever, but Edward's mine, and we have to support them in this. They have enough people against them as it is."

"Sure," he said, trying to dance with me and push thoughts of them away, "we'll do that then."

"Okay," I said, though I wasn't sure if I believed him.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

As soon as the elevator swung open, I pulled Bella inside, not breaking free from her lips.

The dogs started to bark at us, as we spun around into my spot, pulling at each other.

She started to pull on my shirt, as I yanked my jacket down her arms.

I could feel Spendor jumping at my legs, and growling at Bella. He thought she was hurting me.

I laughed into Bella's lips and grasped her face, pulling myself back to catch some air, "You ...are _intense_."

She grinned, ignoring Spendor at her legs, "Thanks."

We looked at each other for a few moments, admiring the swollen lips we'd given the other.

Then we started kissing aggressively again, and I bent down, picking her up.

She threw her legs around me, kicking off her heels at the same time.

At this rate, I knew we'd never make it to my bedroom, so the couch was going to have to do.

I crashed on top of her, assaulting her neck with vigor.

The dogs would not stop barking, and since we were on the couch, they were right at our ears.

Groaning, I pulled away from her, and she pulled my sweater off.

"Wait," I said, exasperated, holding out my finger to her. "Stay. Don't go anywhere. _God you're hot_. No, I'll be back."

She giggled, "Where are you..."

I quickly scooped up my animals, and pushed them in my bedroom, closing the door behind me.

Then, because I was in a good mood, I ran, and jumped over the back of the couch, but made sure not to squash her as I landed.

She giggled, pulling me to her, "Come here."

I grinned against her lips, as she loosened up my tie.

She lifted herself up, and slid her tongue between my lips, before our mouths even touched.

"Mmm," I hummed, sitting back and lifting her in my lap.

She swiftly pushed me backward on the opposite side of the couch, and climbed on top of me, straddling as we kissed.

The dogs were barking in the bedroom, but I blocked them out. She was all I wanted to pay attention to.

We were battling for dominance, and I pushed at the same time she did, panting in her lips. Eventually, I regained my strength beneath her, and sat us up.

She twirled around, and I grabbed her, yanking her hard against my erection that was pushing through my pants.

She gasped, and I turned to kiss her neck, but underestimated my force. We toppled off the couch, and thankfully, somehow, I managed to turn us, to where we landed with her on top of me on the hard ground, and my head smacking the floor. _Be careful, Edward, baby on board._

We laughed as she threw the end of my tie on my face, and started unbuttoning my shirt.

I pushed her dress up past her hips, taking a brief second to admire her orange, lace, booty shorts. I ran my finger along the brim of them, smiling.

She flipped her head back and sat up, finding more air. I watched as tiny strands slowly fell onto her shoulders, and articles of fuzz surrounded us in the dim air. She smiled at me, and I gave her my best crooked smile.

Shaking her head, she slid down, and undid my belt. It took her about two seconds to get that undone, and then she practically ripped the button off my pants.

I laughed, lifting my hips so she could push them down. Then I pulled her to me, and rolled us over, kicking my pants down.

I made sure to support her head beneath my hands, since it was a hardwood floor and I was heavier than her as it was, and licked down her neck, while she slid her hands in my boxers. I groaned into the crook of her neck, and pushed into her hand, "More."

She yanked my head back by my hair, and that was something that made me hard as a rock -- if I wasn't hard as a rock, already. The tip of her tongue circled around my Adam's apple, then down, to the dip between my neck and my collar bone.

I lifted myself up so I could get a grip on her panties. They _were _pretty, but... "I'm sorry baby," I said, before ripping them off of her.

She gasped, eyes wide, before slapping my shoulder, "Those were my favorite, Edward Anthony Cullen."

"I'll get you some more tomorrow," I promised, breathing heavily, before crushing my lips to hers.

Bella quickly forgot about the torn fabric, pulling herself up against my face.

Her hands pushed my boxers down at the same time I lifted her hips up, panting in her skin.

"Please," she said, as soon as she sprang me free.

I thought, for a brief second, about whether or not I could control myself enough to not plow into her.

But... because I'm a man, and could only take so much sexual build-up, that thought didn't last, and I did exactly that.

Keeping her hips lifted, I found my spot, and thrusted hard into her, groaning into her. She clawed at my skin on my neck, before bunching up the shirt in her fingertips.

"Are you o-" I couldn't even finish my sentence before she tossed her legs around my waist, and pushed up against me. "Fuck," I said in her ear, as her warmth surrounded me. She kept her upper body lifted, clawing and grasping and panting in my shirt.

Because we were on hardwood floors, we sort of slid around... Each thrust had Bella going forward, and each pull had her sliding back to me.

But Bella, she kept pushing me and testing my limits of control, digging her heels into me and demanding more and more and more pressure.

I was briefly concerned about splitting her into two, but she felt so fucking good, so fucking tight and slick and warm...

Somehow, she managed to claw at me enough to lift herself up, and into my lap. My knees were uncomfortable on the ground, and she figured this out, pushing me back. Watching her move on top of me, thrusting and rocking, while she dug her fingernails into my shoulders, clawing down the white button-down I was wearing... so erotic.

It was incredible to watch, and feel. It was hot to see her in that fancy dress still, hiked up past her hips, and me still in my shirt, with one leg still trapped in my pants. It felt good to know that, an hour before, we were having a romantic dinner, but we could also come home and do this.

It was something to look forward to, if you asked me. I enjoyed the fact that Bella didn't want it romantic all the time -- not that romantic wasn't fun, because it was.

But sometimes... you just want to fuck.

Bella threw her head back, moaning loud. She started to tremble, and I knew she was as close as I was. I slipped my hand beneath her dress, and my thumb found her spot. Her fingers pulled on my shirt, and she leaned forward, tugging my hair while I played with her and pushed into her at the same time.

"Mmm," she said into the crook of my neck, pulling on my hair harder. She stopped moving on top of me, but I was so close, that I kept lifting my hips up to meet her. She tried to say my name, or some kind of word, but couldn't get it out, before completely tensing up, gasping into my ear.

I trembled as her breath washed over me, and sealed my eyes tight. I was fucking right there, but I was determined to give her hers first. Her nails clawed at my shoulders, and she pushed hard into my hips, burying me as deep as possible, before she started shaking vigorously.

Breathlessly, I kept going, until her body began to clench and tighten. My release soared out of me and into her, and I buried my face into her shoulder, cursing into her skin. It felt like a heated tidal wave crashed over us, and by the time I collapsed onto the ground, I could barely catch my breath. My heart pounded through my chest and against hers, as she lay limp and lifeless above me. If she hadn't been squeezing my shirt and breathing heavily in my ear, I would have thought she passed out.

The both of us lay perfectly still as we came down from our extensive high.

Eventually, she was strong enough to sit up, and wincing at the sensitive sensation, I lifted her off of me. She quickly lay down on her side, placing her head on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she whispered, tugging on my tie.

"Mmhmm."

She giggled, kissing my hot neck, "Are you sure?"

"Mmhmm."

"'K," she said.

A few moments later, I smiled like a champ, and turned my head to look at her. Her hair was sprawled around my arm and the floor, and she had her fingers curled, her thumb pressed to the end of her bottom lip. Her eyes were dark still, and sparkling. Her lips were swollen and pink.

"You're so fucking beautiful," I said quietly.

She smiled, lifting her hand from her mouth to stroke through my hair, "Thank you."

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" I asked, as a twinge of guilt seeped through me.

She shook her head, "not at all. Well... not in a _bad_ way."

I smirked, closing my eyes, "Good."

I rubbed my face, listening to her sit up. My left hand dropped to rub the small of her back, while I kept my eyes closed, "Where are you going?"

"I need a girly moment."

"Oh," I said, dropping my hand from her, "i see." When I opened my eyes, I noticed she was sort of... walking slowly.

I quickly sat up, my heart soaring through my throat, "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?"

I felt like an ass.

She turned, placing her chin on her shoulder, "I'm okay."

I groaned, climbing to my feet and pulling my pants up. I fastened them, but left the belt dangling, "I feel like a dick, Bella."

"Don't," she smiled, throwing the pillows back on the couch, "I promise, I feel good."

I think my sour expression showed her that I didn't buy it.

Taking a steady breath, she walked over to me, and cupped my face in her hands, forcing me to look down to her, "Edward. Shh. No worries, I'm fine."

I still felt bad, and couldn't help but frown, "You're walking all weird."

She blushed and looked down, "Yeah, well... you're just that good."

I closed my eyes, pulling her to me, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I just get so excited sometimes when we're together and I can't get control over myself, but that doesn't give me the ri-"

"Shhhhh," she said, covering my lips and smiling up at me with her sparkling eyes. "Don't say another word. We had fun. I had fun. A couple of Aspirin, and I'll be fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

I nodded, kissing her forehead, "Tylenol."

"Hmm?"

"Can't take Aspirin anymore."

"Oh. Okay. Tylenol then... Do you have any?"

"Of course Angel," I said, still keeping my lips on her forehead, "I'll get you some. Do your thing and... I'll be in my bedroom."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

I rubbed her back and walked away. I still felt bad. Sure, couples have different varieties of sex all the time and it was healthy. But me doing it to Bella... I should have... I don't know. I may as well have written SELFISH DICK on my forehead with a black magic marker.

A few moments later, Bella returned, wearing a long t-shirt of mine, and nothing else. Cora was at the foot of the bed, and Spendor was yapping at her.

Bella scooped down and picked him up, before sliding under the covers next to me, "You have a beautiful place Edward. I know I didn't say that earlier, because I was too busy freaking out, but... this place is ... beautiful."

"Thank you," I said, rubbing her knee.

"Is it okay if Spendor sleeps up here with us?" she asked.

I absorbed her adorable expression, "If you want."

She smiled, hugging him to her tightly, burying them in the covers. Spendor licked at her cheek, and she giggled.

"I found something for you," I said.

"What is it?"

I turned behind me, and picked the book off my nightstand, handing it to her.

"'What To Expect When You're Expecting'?" she said, running her hand along the cover, "where did you get this?"

"It's the best to study with," I said. "Helped me in school. It has everything you could possibly need to know inside."

She bit her lip, blushing, and looking up to me, "Can we read it together?"

"Of course."

She turned on the lamp beside her, and I muted the television. She lifted my arm, wrapping it behind her shoulders, and nestling against my side as she opened the book, "This feels so weird."

I smirked.

"...being a parent soon."

"I know," I whispered, scratching the top of her head as she flipped through the pages, "are you okay with this though?"

She smiled, slowly looking up at me, "I wouldn't be okay with it, unless it was with you."

My heart skipped, and I leaned in, kissing her head, "I love you so much, Bella. I know this isn't what we necessarily planned, but I truly believe that we'll do this the right way."

"Yeah," she whispered, turning to chapter four, 'your pregnancy lifestyle'. "But it's gonna hurt so bad when it comes out. I'll probably pass out."

I chuckled, "I'll make sure you're taken care of."

"I don't even have a doctor, really."

"I was going to ask you about that. Dr. Sherber is my Head, and she's the best in Seattle. And, I'm not saying that so you'll be under the hospital I work for, but I truly mean that. I'd really like you to meet with her, and see if you like her."

She smiled, and nodded, "That would be fine."

"I know we're not close to this yet," I said, "but... when it comes time... Do you think you want to know the sex?"

She shrugged, "Do you?"

"I do, but if you don't, then I don't have to know."

"You want a boy, don't you?"

"Why do you ask that? Because I'm a man?"

"No, because you're Edward, and I know you."

I grinned, "...I don't care either way, but... I'd love a boy."

"I knew it," she whispered. "By the way, how old is Dr. Sherber?"

"She's... in her mid-thirties, I think."

"Is she hot?"

I smirked, shaking my head, "She's pretty, I suppose."

"So you work beneath a really hot doctor all the time?"

"She's my mentor. Don't say it like that."

"Is she married?"

"Separated."

"Are you the only intern there that's still in med school?"

"The only one worth a damn," I grinned.

"...Hmm."

"What?" I asked, unable to hide my arrogance. I knew where she was going with this.

"Have you two ever hooked up in the broom closet?"

"What?" I laughed, pushing off the headboard, "Bella, come on."

"I'm serious! I bet you, she wants to."

"You don't know her. She's professional. Every woman in the world doesn't want me, despite what you think."

"You're right," she said, nodding, "... but the only women who don't are _related _to you, and even then, I wouldn't be surprised."

"You're on crack, woman."

"I'm being honest!"

"You're being jealous."

She scoffed, slapping my arm as I leaned back, "Fine. Okay. She can be my doctor."

"Really?"

"Sure," she shrugged, "that way I can keep an eye on her, and she'll know you knocked me up."

"I didn't _knock you up._ Don't say it like that. We're going to be a family; I'm not your... baby daddy."

She giggled, unable to not, "You are until we're married."

I flipped the television on, and placed the book back in her hands, "Shush and read."

"Baby daddy, baby daddy," she mumbled in a sing-song voice, "Edward Cullen is my baby daddy."

"Quit it before I stuff something in your mouth that'll keep you occupied for a while."

She giggled, "Baby daddy, baby daddy, baby daddy..."

I turned, glaring at her.

"Fine, I'll stop."

"Thanks."

"Love you," she giggled, throwing the covers over her head and hugging Spendor.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, kissed her cheek, before sliding under the covers and turning off the lights, "Love you too."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I leaned against the brick wall of the building, exhaling smoke.

The bass from the club was strong enough to make the building shake, and my ears began to ring from the echoes.

I shut my eyes, drowning out in it.

It'd been a long fucking night. Again.

"Jacob Black."

I turned to my right, to see Emmett standing there, with his hands in his pocket.

I'm sure, from the look on my face, he knew I wasn't happy, nor shocked to see him standing there. I knew why he was here, and why no one else was out here with him. He wanted to see where he stood with Rosalie.

I took another drag, still looking at him.

He cleared his throat, and headed in my direction.

My eyes followed him, and when he stood in front of me, I exhaled more smoke.

"What was that, with you and Rose? In the club?"

I looked at him like he hadn't spoken, and took another drag.

"Because... you two looked awfully close."

"We're friends," I said, my voice extra low and scratchy from all the cigarettes, alcohol, and smoke in the club.

"That looked like more than friends to me."

I tilted my head, taking another drag, "is there a point to your assumption, McCarty?"

"Are you and I friends?"

"We're cool," I shrugged, "I don't have any beef with you, if that's what you're askin'."

He glared at me, then loosened up his anger on his face, "Because, _I _thought we were friends."

I shrugged again. I kept my left knee bent, my foot pressed against the wall, along with my shoulder blades and my head, "Then I guess we are."

"So, since we're friends, friends can talk, right?"

I smirked at him.

"Because... I wanted to tell you, I fucked up, when I let go of Rosalie. I was stupid, I let my thoughts get the best of me, and I said some stupid shit, and... I lost the girl."

"Hmm," I said, flicking my cigarette butt in the air. "And?"

"And, I want her back."

I kept my expression cool and collected, "What does this have to do with me?"

"Well," he said, looking around through the cold night in the alley we were in, "I thought maybe you'd like to help me. You know, band of brothers and all that."

I scoffed, shaking my head, "Since when does Emmett McCarty need help with women?"

"Since he fucked up and lost the one he loves."

I tilted my head at him, studying his expression, "I thought you said you didn't love her?"

"I thought you said that I did, because I _walked away_, and all that?"

Shrugging, I took a sip of my beer, "You obviously misconstrued my explanation."

He furrowed his brows, "How's that?"

"Because, when I said that you _loved her enough to walk away_, I also meant the second part of that."

"Which is?"

"I loved her enough to stay."

He looked even more confused now, "But you don't _want _her, right?"

I raised my eyebrow, looking at him like he was a fucking idiot, because, well he was being a fucking idiot.

"Come on," he chuckled, "Jacob Black doesn't love women like _that_."

I glared at him, thinking of a million ways to go tell him to fuck himself.

"Dude," he laughed, "...you're a playboy. We all know this."

I exhaled, keeping myself relaxed, and lit another cigarette. I inhaled the smoke, and let it out slowly, looking into his eyes, "Everyone's got to grow up sometime."

"Yeah, but," he chuckled, dancing on his feet a little, "you're... _you_."

"Point?"

"My point is, you're not... I don't know man. I just see how you are... bouncing from Tanya to Bryan to whomever else... And that was within the time we've been here at the _Cabin_. That's not even in Seattle!"

I took a sip of my beer, "Look, Emmett. If you want Rose, then that's your issue. I'm not a fucking matchmaker, I'm not the straight guy friend who pretends to be gay so he can talk to the girl who's his friend, for you. If you want her, go fucking get her."

He smiled, "I'll do that."

"But," I said, as he turned to walk away.

He stopped, and looked back at me.

I grinned at him, "Don't forget that there's other men out there, who want her too. Perhaps, even more than you do."

He grinned and shook my hand, "Thanks for the advice."

I watched him walk away, and shook my head.

He was so fucking stupid, he couldn't even manage to grasp the fact that I was talking about myself.

_Fucking idiot._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The car ride was silent. Jasper and Emmett followed us back.

We didn't get to the cabin until around four in the morning.

Phil's car still wasn't there.

Carlisle and Esme were crashed out on the couch, with both their cell phones charging on the coffee table.

Jasper picked up Alice and threw her over his shoulder, and told us they were turning in for the night. He slapped her ass as they ran up the steps.

So, that left Emmett, me, and Rosalie.

My heart began to race at the thought of where to go from here.

I wanted more than anything to tell her how I felt, but knew it wasn't the time. I'd never do that to her. I didn't want her uncomfortable. I wasn't that type of guy. I didn't compete like that.

...I wanted her to want me for _herself_, and no one else.

Emmett shoved his hands in his pocket, looking over to her, "Are you tired?"

She shrugged, looking at the wall, and neither of us.

"Do you want to hang out with me? I could make you something to eat."

She sighed heavily, and glanced toward him.

My stomach turned to knots, and I felt anxious. I needed to get out of there.

I looked at Rose, and gave her my best comforting smile, "I'm going to go to bed. It's been a long night. I'll leave the door unlocked for you, whenever you want to sleep."

She smiled half-heartedly at me, "Thanks Jake."

"Sure," I said, and turned from them before my smile felt. I kept my shoulders rounded as I headed up, ignoring the emptiness in my stomach that intensified with each step I took.

I could hear Emmett clap his hands together, and get excited, "Okay, what are you in the mood to eat?"

"I dunno," she said, sounding pretty down, but following him in the kitchen.

I closed my eyes, and was thankful when I couldn't hear them anymore.

I collapsed onto the bed sideways, burying my face in the covers. My chest hurt so fucking badly, it felt like it was going to split open.

I wasn't sure if Emmett was going to get her back. I wasn't for sure if I deserved her, from how he talked about my 'history'.

She couldn't want me like I wanted her.

I was Alferd the ghost. But I wouldn't throw tantrums and shout to get her to see me.

That wouldn't be fair to her, and I loved her too much to put her in that predicament.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 22!  
-- Thank you guys for everything you're doing. For your reviews, for your advice, for your critique. For your constant support. I adore you guys so much, I can't say it enough! The feedback for this last chapter has been INCREDIBLE and it overwhelms me. I'm sorry I can't get back to each and every PM or review, but I wanted to say that I do read every single thing I get. You guys always shock me, no matter what. I love that and love that you're sticking with me!! *hug* to each of you!**

**-- Secondly, to my husband, see? This is why there's "What to expect when you're expecting", "Look who's talking", and "Nine months" suddenly occupying our home.  
It's for research, not for me. So you can stop looking at me weirdly! ILY!**

**-- I'm really enjoying that more and more of you are turning toward taking a like to Jake, as a character, as well as Jake/Rose. The thing I love most about writing is originality and twists, and it makes me smile to know that you can disassociate my story from others, and realize that just because there are characters who end up together in one story, doesn't mean that they can't be with other people... This triangle is a lot of fun to write, and it really shows us how deep these characters are. (Plus, I'm a sucker for an underdog, I ain't gonna lie.)**

**-- Please go to my forum on Twilighted(dot)Net! A few readers are asking if I'll do an "Open House", where you guys can come on there, and ask me any question about a previous chapter, character, etc. I think it'll be a fun idea. If you're interested in doing that, please come and chat and let us know! You can also chat with other readers, discuss what you think is going to happen, what you want to happen, so on and so forth. It's a lot of fun, I promise. (And it only takes a minute to register, and it's free!)**

**** Here's the link once more: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=2577 --- make sure to replace the (dot) with an ( . ) Link also in my profile.**

**-- ALSO, as for the pregnancy chapters, I think I'm going to do about 6 chapters of her 'term'. Each one will be a day in the life of that, like any other chapter. But no worries, it won't all be about the baby. E/B have a lot of stuff to deal with, such as family, where they're going to live, etc. MUCH MUCH MORE TO COME!! After that, we'll go from there. :D**

**-- ONE LAST THING! BC I adore you all sooo much... YOU GUYS GET TO PICK THE BABY NAME!!  
Start giving me your boy and girl name suggestions!! Put them at the bottom of your review, and I'll go through the ones I like, then I'll put up little voting polls at the bottom of each chapter! We'll go through them, and the one who has the lowest vote won't go the next chapter... and we'll knock them down. :D The one left standing for each sex will win, and then we'll debate the boy/girl factor!**

**-- Next chapter, we'll see Bella's home. Again, Edward's apartment, the ring, and other stuff in the profile!**

**Reviews are better than hot sex right as you enter the apartment! :D**


	23. Pillow Talk

**EDIT: I know you guys aren't receiving emails saying this story was updated, just as I am not receiving emails saying I have reviews. I've emailed FF support about this just in case this is just my story the problem is occuring on, but I think it's a glitch on FF... we'll see. *crosses fingers* Hopefully they'll get it fixed!**

**EDIT AGAIN: I've replaced this chapter, so if the update shows up in your inbox, it may show up twice... Sorry. Hopefully it will AT LEAST show up once now!  
**

* * *

*****THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE NAME SUGGESTIONS!!! I WILL NO LONGER BE TAKING NEW ONES, AS WE HAVE A FULL LIST, AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS!*****

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my amazing beta, for continuing to surprise me with your awesomeness. :D  
To my **Readers**, I love you guys. You are so encouraging, open to "new" things, you can distinguish between my story & characters, and others (including the original Twilight Saga) and you are so willing to help support TEF and keep it alive, and I have to say, my best part of the day is writing this story and talking with all of you. I just wanted to (again) say THANK YOU. You're the best.

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Ahhhh, here we are again. The rest of the gang returns to Seattle, under the weight of decisions made in the middle of the night. They run into each other nonchalantly, and more gets learned as we go on. Jasper and Alice finally get their date, Emmett and Rosalie mix things up, and someone tells Rosalie like it is.  
This chapter also reverses the funny drinking sexual lingo from Bella in the cabin, to Edward back in Seattle... :D Love our Drunkward!**

**Picture added upcoming additions: Dr Aubrey Sherber (Edward's boss), Ryan Danvers (Bella's coworker), Aimee Denson (works with Edward), and Heather Dean (Emmett's ex). They're not mentioned too much in this chapter, but I wanted to go ahead and get you guys accustomed to them, so check it out!  
Also pictures of ring, dress, bikes, etc! **

**Another A/N at the bottom, go see it!**

**

* * *

**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"She thinks I can't see the smile that she's faking,  
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken.  
I loved you... grey sweatpants... no makeup... so perfect.  
Our love was comfortable and... so broken in.  
She's perfect... so flawless... I'm not impressed.  
...I want you back ." **_

_**John Mayer, "Comfortable"**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Pillow Talk**

**RosaliePOV**

"Rose."

"Mmm?"

"_ROSE_." Emmett repeated himself.

"Yesssss, _what_?" I hissed, shoving my face back into the pillow.

"Wake up, we're here."

"Here, _where_?"

"Here in Seattle. I don't know where your house is, I can't remember," he replied.

"Why couldn't you have asked me?" Jacob said from the front seat. "I would have told you."

"I didn't know you knew."

"Uh... I've been her best friend for fucking ever."

"Dude, I didn't think about it. Chillax, damn."

I groaned, sitting up from the backseat and hitting the tops of both their heads with my pillow, "I live on the West Side of Seattle, on 16th and Turquoise Drive."

"Okay."

I turned to look behind us, but Jasper's truck wasn't there anymore. They must have headed toward Alice and Edward's place when we got into town.

Sighing, I slipped on my tennis shoes and glared at the two men in the front of the Jeep.

Jacob had the seat fully reclined back, fisting his cell phone over his mouth, as if he was waiting on a phone call. He wore a fitted grey t-shirt and dark jeans, and his hair looked like he had been tugging on it throughout the day.

Emmett had sunglasses on top of his baseball cap, wore a Lakers' hoodie and blue jeans, and looked like he had to pee... really bad. Very antsy and uncomfortable.

The rest of the car ride went just like most of the trip: silence, with the exception of a cell phone ring or text message received every hour or so.

I grabbed my purse when we pulled into my drive, and they hopped out to bring my things inside for me.

"Just put it all over there, anywhere," I said as I dragged my feet across our hardwood floors.

Emmett placed things by the door, while Jacob started carrying my stuff to my bedroom, ignoring my directions all together.

"I can't stay," Emmett said, rushing over to me after the last bag was dropped on my floor, "I have errands to run, a fridge to go through, and I have to piss."

"Okay," I whispered, as he kissed the corner of my mouth.

He let his lips linger there on my face, whispering back, "I had a good time last night. Thanks for... everything."

I nodded, swallowing hard, "Sure. Me too."

"You don't... feel, I don't know... Like... you don't..." Emmett sighed, looking to the ground, "never mind, I'm being a fucking girl."

I kept my hard position while he hung on to me, and then kissed the top of my head.

"Call me tonight if you want," he said.

"Okay."

"Tell Jake I said I'll see him later."

"Will do," I replied, trying to ignore the fact that my heart started bounce and my chest began to cave with tension. I watched as Emmett left my house and peeled out of my driveway, and then I collapsed face first on the black leather couch.

"Well," Jake said, jogging down the steps from the laundry room, but keeping a safe distance from me, "I threw a load in the wash for you, because you're too lazy to do it, and you don't want to keep that shit stale in duffle bags. You look like you're gonna crash, so I'm gonna take off, give you some priv-"

"Jake?" I mumbled, not bothering to lift my face from the cushion.

"Yeah, what's up?" His voice was so cold, like... he knew.

It made me feel really uneasy, "I just wanted to tell you thank you, for everything. I would have had a shitty vacation if it weren't for you."

I could hear him shuffle around, and keys jiggling in his hand, "No sweat. I've got to run, gotta get my baby out of your garage. I think it's missed me."

"Jake?"

"...Yeah."

I wheezed and sat up, so I could look at him. His cold eyes and sad frown reflected my own to a tee.

I wanted to curl out my bottom lip, or cry, but I held it together, "...Would it be too much to ask for a hug from an old friend? ...I could use one of those."

He looked at me for a moment, keeping his distance, "Could use what? An old friend, or a hug?"

I shrugged sadly, "Maybe a little bit of both."

He looked at me, as if debating my request. Every second he took to ponder, my heart began to ache even more. My hands started to shake, my chest burned, and my throat felt like it was swelling shut. I seriously wanted to break down and cry.

I knew it was shitty to do, but I resorted to beg, for the sake of... myself. "...Please, Jake?" I whispered, not bothering to look into his eyes anymore.

"Sure," he exhaled, walking over to me. He remained standing and lifted his left arm, for me to swoop under it.

I frowned, standing and wrapping both my arms around his waist, squeezing tight.

He however, only put that arm loosely over my shoulders, and kept the other one to his side, not touching me.

"I heart you Jake," I snickered, trying to shake off the nasty feeling in my gut that told me I was a shitty person.

He nodded, not looking down at me, "Yeah, you too. I've got to go though..." he patted me once on my shoulder, and then pulled away.

As soon as he did, my hands collapsed to my legs and I felt empty.

"Can you call me later?" I asked, as he swung open my door.

"Sure. Call you later."

"K, promise?" I shouted.

The door closed before I heard his answer.

I fell back onto the couch and grabbed the nearest pillow, hugging it to my chest for dear life.

I needed to call Bella.

I needed someone.

Taking a deep breath and ignoring the tear that fell from my eye, I opened my cell, and hit Speed Dial 1.

The ringtone was changed to, _'Love Story' _by _Taylor Swift_. I had to roll my eyes. She's living a fairytale life and I want to hang myself.

"Hello?" the voice said in a muffle.

"Bella," I said, as the sobs started to escape my throat. "I'm sorry to wake you; I know it's early but... I need your help. Can you come home please?"

"Rose? What's wrong?"

"I just... really need you to come home."

"Did you make it over there okay, was the t-"

"Please," I begged, lifting my trembling hand to wipe my face.

"Oh, o-okay, I'm, uh... I'm on my way. Stay there. I'll be there within a half hour."

"K," I whispered, "hurry."

"I will, love you."

I nodded, taking a deep breath, "...I love you back."

Then I tossed the phone on the coffee table, pushed the pillow between my legs, fell over sideways on the couch, and prayed the sun would melt my curtains and windows and burn me alive.

I deserved it.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Shutting my phone, I stared at the screen, and tried to adjust my eyes to morning.

I turned to my right, to find Edward laying on his back, his right knee bent, and his left straight. His right arm was under the pillow and his head, while his left was on top of his stomach. Spendor managed to leave my arms, and was nestled right beside Edward's ribs, his chin on his tiny paws. Cora was at the foot of the bed, her neck dangling over his ankle.

Edward stayed up with me most of last night. Two hours after we went to sleep, I got sick. It started with a migraine, and then I just... threw up. I kept trying to get Edward to go to bed and rest, since I knew he hadn't had any sleep in the past three days. But, because he's stubborn, he refused. He held my hair back, put cold wash rags on my neck...

I thought that maybe it was from what I ate, like bad seafood or something. But then Edward explained to me (and then pointed out later in the great _What _to_ Expect When You're Expecting_... book) that, your first week of pregnancy actually starts the last week of your last period. So, by the time we conceived our baby, that was the third week... Making me around six weeks now... Right when the morning sickness usually starts.

And, because I'm me, of course, I couldn't be one of those girls who just avoided this whole part, and got off lucky. _Dammit all to hell._

I frowned, and rolled on my side, brushing my hands through his messy copper hair.

"Mmm," he mumbled, smiling, though still asleep, "that feels nice..."

"Edward," I whispered, "I've got to run."

He shot up, startling both me and the two dogs, "Are you sick again?"

"No," I said, holding my hand over my rapid heart, "but thank you for jumpstarting my chest today. Um..." I cleared my throat, trying to calm down, "Rose called, they all made it back. She sounds pretty upset, so I'm going to go home and check on her."

He rubbed his eyes, yawning, and mumbling in his hoarse voice, "I'll go with you."

"You don't have to do that. You need to sleep."

"I'll be okay," he said, yawning again.

"Edward," I sighed disappointingly, "_please _sleep. I can't have you ending up in the hospital for sleep deprivation."

He turned, and began to pet Spendor, "It's all right. I'm up now, and I won't be able to sleep without you."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because... for one, I'll worry about you getting sick and me not being there. And two... I've gotten used to sleeping beside you. It won't be the same now, without you next to me."

I smiled, unable to help it, "You're such a cheeseball. I'm kind of lovin' it."

"I mean it," he chuckled defensively, crawling on his knees and out of the bed, "give me five minutes to shower, and I'll be ready."

I fidgeted, and climbed off the bed, "Want some company?"

He twisted, scratching the back of his head, "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Okay... but, we have to stay on opposite sides of the shower at all times, or it's gonna take me a hell of a lot more than five minutes."

I giggled, "I'll try to control myself."

Walking in front of him, I heard a growl escape the back of his throat, without his permission.

"Dammit Bella, why do you have to look so good in my shirt?"

"To taunt you," I simply replied, yanking it off and throwing it at him, before climbing in the shower. I laughed as I watched him stare at me dumbfounded, then quickly strip and climb in behind me.

He grabbed my hips, and buried his face in the side of my neck while I reached behind me and poured shampoo on top of his head, "Are you feeling better?"

"Mmhmm. Thank you for staying up with me."

"No problem," he said, kissing my shoulder... then sucking on the skin there.

"Edward," I giggled, washing myself with the soap, "I thought you said _opposite _ends of the shower?"

"Can't help it…" he whispered, as his hands slid up my torso, and over my breasts, "...you're too sexy."

"Even though I was sick all night?" I scoffed, shaking my head.

"Not _exactly _then," he replied teasingly, kissing the back of my neck, "...but I can look past that."

I felt him respond, and bit down my lip, "Edward... I'm sorry but... I gotta go check on my sister."

Sighing, he pulled from me and stepped under the water completely, letting it drench him, "Fine."

"I'm not rejecting you, I swear," I said, feeling guilty.

"Whatever," he said jokingly, giving me that smile that should be illegal, "...make it up to me later?"

I shook my head, tossing his loofa at him, "You're such a man sometimes."

"Ahhhh, I know. Better get used to it."

I grinned, turning toward the opposite shower head and smiling into the spray...

_Sex with Edward on a daily basis? I could _definitely _get used to that._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We quickly got dressed; me in a blue tank top and jeans, with a tiny black jacket over it that came a few inches past my diaphragm, but had really long sleeves; Edward wearing a dark copper-ish shirt that matched his hair color, and comfortable jeans, with matching sunglasses on his beautiful disarrayed hair.

Edward insisted we take his bike for a ride to my house. It was a _2009 Hayabusa Turbo_. He said it'd been cooped up in his place too long, and 'was starting to rust'. _Whatever_. I wasn't even aware a person could store their crotch rocket on the thirty-second story of the _Escala_.

"Edward, I really don't want to get hurt," I said, as he straddled the bike and handed me the helmet. "There's not even a place for me to sit," I continued, glaring at the helmet.

He grinned and twisted, popping off the cap behind him, and revealing a black leather back seat. The bike was sheer black, with designer art and blue lights on it that made it look fiercer by the second. It seemed like it was speeding though it was standing still. It _had _to be expensive... like all things Edward owned.

I sighed, putting the stupid thing on my head, "If we get into an accident, then I swear to Christ as my witness, I will ch-"

"Bella," he groaned, fastening the strap beneath my chin, "do you _really _think I'd get us hurt? Hello..." he waved his hands in front of my stomach, "...precious cargo."

"Hello," I said, rubbing my hand over his pretty face, "precious face. Don't want this pretty thing getting scratched up."

He smacked my ass, "Or _that _pretty thing. ...All aboard."

I grumbled and straddled the back of it, saying my goodbyes to Cora and Spendor. He pushed the thing into the elevator, and we traveled down. I thought for sure the security guards would have his ass for pulling this thing into the lobby, but the two men just smiled at us and wished us a safe trip.

"Does everyone kiss your ass daily?" I said into his ear, while he revved the engine up in the parking lot.

He nodded, and grabbed my hands, wrapping them around his torso tightly, "Usually. Hang on."

I buried my face into his back, and we were off. Peeling out of the parking lot, and heading straight into crowded morning traffic. He skidded to a stop at the red light, and my butt lifted off of the seat a little. I clammed my knees to the bike and smacked him on his shoulder, "Don't brake so late, you're gonna fling me off!"

He laughed annoyingly, and shook his head, "I love you, but don't be such a baby."

"Well don't _kill _the baby," I teased.

"Well, stop using the baby as an excuse!" he replied back.

_Ahhh, us bickering. Gotta love it. _

I closed my eyes as he peeled off again.

After a few minutes, I loosened up.

And though I'd never admit it to his face because I wouldn't want to feed his ego... I really liked this bike!

I used to ride on Jake's a few times, but Edward's was a whole other dimension. It was way faster and flashier... then again, that's Edward for ya.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

When we pulled up to my drive, I tried to ignore the nervous feeling I had of Edward actually _seeing _my home.

I'm not sure why, I was pretty proud of what I accomplished on my own... but this compared to his place... again, the MASH game, and I had the shack.

Edward followed me up the steps, and I swung the front door open. To my right, was my sister, curled up on the couch, quiet as a mouse. The cushions were wet beneath her right eye, and she looked miserable.

"Rose?" I whispered, kneeling down beside the couch, "are you okay?"

She shook her head, squeezing the pillow tighter.

I listened as Edward shuffled awkwardly around the house, and I turned, telling him to relax and take a seat. He paused momentarily, then nodded, and sank into our lazyboy chair.

"What's the matter sissy?" I asked soothingly.

She rubbed her face, and stared off into space.

It got really silent.

"Rose?" I whispered.

She closed her eyes, whispering in a half-whimper, "I let Emmett fuck me last night."

I heard Edward let out a low, long whistle behind me. I however, was speechless. And that didn't help, since I was supposed to be the support system.

My heart felt like a piece of rock.

Clearing my throat, I lifted my hand, and tentatively rubbed her shoulder, "And... that's a... _what_? A bad thing?"

She nodded, closing her eyes tighter.

"Okay... did he force you t-"

"No. It wasn't forced."

"But..." I guessed, "After the lust passed, you... don't feel like you should have done it."

She nodded again, "I'm such an awful person."

"No you're not, Rose. You're confused, people get confused sometimes."

She shook her head, "I really messed up Bella."

"It's fixable. It's always fixable."

"No. I don't think this is."

I frowned, brushing her hair out of her eyes, "...How did it happen?"

She began to sob harder, and it made me feel sad. I didn't know what to do for her. I turned around, and looked at Edward, who was staring at me and rocking in the chair. I frowned at him. He crinkled his forehead, then sighed and nodded, before climbing out of the chair.

He walked over to us and bent over, scooping his arms beneath my sister.

I started to question him, but he spoke up as he lifted her in the air. "Come on, Rosalie. Let's get you into some comfortable clothes, and you and Bella can talk about it in your bedroom, where you'll be more relaxed. No need to be in clothes when you can lounge around the house and forget about the world for awhile."

She started crying more, into the crook of his neck. I could tell how she felt, like the world was judging her for her mistake... like we all didn't fucking make them. Hearing her pain made me angry and I wanted to ring Emmett's neck, though this wasn't necessarily his fault.

I didn't know if it was _anyone's _fault, but as her sister... I wanted to kill whoever subjected her to this hurt. Regardless.

I led Edward down the hall to Rosalie's room, and pulled off her shoes before he laid her down on her multi-colored striped comforter. She held onto him, just needing _someone _to hold her, and he almost fell on top of her. His hands crashed to her sides, and he hushed her, telling her that it was okay.

She started apologizing to him, saying that she knew Emmett was his friend and how horrible of a person she was for allowing this to happen, but he dismissed it, and gave her a tight hug.

Once she finally let go, she immediately reached out to me, and I climbed beside her in the bed.

Edward got her a glass of water, then said he was going to leave us alone to talk, and search through my house for hidden porn stashes and illegal prescription drugs.

I laughed, and shooed him away.

"Rose," I whispered, brushing my fingers through her hair as she cried into my collar bone, "how did it happen?"

It took her a while to respond. And when she did, I could barely hear her.

"It... um... we were in the kitchen, making hamburgers and talking... we had a few nice silent moments, you know, the kind where you stop and smile at each other? I started to tell myself that... I don't know, maybe this was what I wanted, though... deep down, I knew it wasn't ALL of what I wanted... but then he kissed me... and I hadn't been kissed in a while and I started thinking about how everyone else had someone and how lonely I was, and how much I regretted some things... and he whispered into my ear, 'I wish I had the chance to be with you, for just one night... To make up for what I lost out on', and... I don't know, Bella. I was just so confused, and so I kissed him back, and the next thing I realize, we're in the freakin' bedroom, and... it happened."

"Was it rough?"

She shook her head, taking a deep swallow and limply replying, "Not at first... and... you're really gonna hate me, but in the middle of it... Like, okay, the first bit was nice and sweet, but then in the middle of it... I started feeling like it was a bad idea, but at the same time, I didn't want to stop him... Like, I didn't _know _what I wanted to do... I kept thinking, just non-stop thinking, about everything I had been dealing with in my mind lately, with Jake and the false pregnancy and everything... so I guess I started to rush it, telling him to go harder and whatever... I just basically wanted him to fuck my thoughts out of me and hurry up... and it didn't work."

"Oh Rose," I said, hugging her as she whimpered in my ear, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, and sometimes, we make mistakes, but you have to do this in order to learn from them, you know?"

"I _am _attracted to Emmett. You know?" she said, out of nowhere. "I don't want you to think I'm not, because I totally am... but the more and more I think of this, I wonder if I really ever loved him, or the _thought _of him? Because, if I loved him, I would have been happy? I would have never encouraged him to hurry up, because I would have been prolonging the moment and praying it'd never end, and be so thankful that it wasn't... but when we actually did it... Bella, he was like all the other guys. It was just sex. No actual connection, just like the rest of the guys. And, I thought he was going to be different. I really did! And... you know, I thought that... I don't know what I thought. I don't know anything at all... But I remember thinking that, when Emmett and I first started talking or whatever, when he had that night conversation with me in my bed, when everyone thought we had hooked up but we didn't? We just stayed up and talked, and he really _listened _to me... I liked that, and realized that he was the first guy to do that..."

"Yeah..." I said.

"But," she shook her head, sniffling, "I was wrong. He ended up being the guy that still looked at me like I was a whore, and disgusted with me by what he found out I did."

"Yeah..." I said again, brushing her hair.

"I'm such a slut."

"You're _not _a slut."

"Yes I am. This was _stupid_, I feel so disgusting."

"Shhh, Rose. Girls do this. Do you honestly think every female in this world has hooked up with guys that they all think is PERFECT? No. We mess up, we do stupid things, we hook up with guys because we want something that's missing in our lives... like attention or love or whatever... and then it doesn't happen necessarily, and we're left feeling empty and guilty. It's just a man versus woman nature. Guys can shrug this off, but girls... we can't."

"But," she whispered, "I don't want to lead him on. I'm more confused now than I was before we had sex. This just complicates it more."

"Then... pull your thoughts together, take as much time as you need to sort them out, and then... tell him what's really on your mind. No holds barred."

After she cried the rest of her tears out, she was silent.

I lay quiet beside her, holding her in my arms, continuing to stroke her hair and calm her down by rocking her. She used to do this for me, whenever I got down and started to think of Edward and my split... but now... conveniently... Edward is in my living room, and I know that he's mine again.

_...Funny how things change._

"Rose," I whispered after a good while, "I love you. I'll never look at you like you're a bad person. No matter what."

"I know," she whispered back.

I waited until she fell asleep in my arms, and slowly climbed backward out of the bed. When I strolled into the living room, I found Edward, sprawled out on my couch. He had his right foot on the floor, and his right arm over his eyes. He was crashed out.

I covered him up with a quilt that my mom made, and headed toward the kitchen to take out the disgusting trash that was left for three weeks, and the despicable refrigerator that had... very disturbing stuff left in it.

Three weeks can be hell when you return home to a gross kitchen and mildew leftovers you forgot to take out of the fridge.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I held my breath, banging on Edward's door.

I didn't take the elevator, but the stairs, all the way up. I needed the exercise. I needed to clear my head.

I banged and banged because I saw his car in the parking garage, and knew he was home.

Finally, the door swung open, revealing no Edward, but a squinty Alice.

"Edward home?" I asked breathlessly.

"Didn't I just see you, like, an hour ago?" she mumbled annoyed.

"Yeah. Is Edward home?"

"No. He left a note saying that he was going to Bella's house."

"Shit," I sighed, scratching my head. "Can I come in and wait for him?"

She looked at me for a moment, still annoyed, and then stood to the side, opening the door.

"Thanks," I said, still feeling really anxious, "where's your boytoy?"

"His house," she mumbled, lifting her night mask from the top of her head and scratching her hair beneath it, "to _sleep_."

"Why didn't he sleep here with you?"

"He said he wanted to see his roommate and he'd be over later after he did some laundry."

"Oh," I sat on the couch.

"Alright." she said, yawning, "I'm going back to bed. I'm exhausted. Tell Edward not to wake me up when he gets home."

"Do you know when you'll be expecting him?"

"It's hard telling with him. You know that. Try his cell."

I buried my face in my hands, and nodded. There wasn't shit I could do.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Alice."

"Yeah?" she mumbled under the covers.

I frowned and climbed beside her, underneath the covers.

"Did you take your shoes off?" she muttered.

"Yes."

"Okay."

She snuggled closer to me, wanting to get warm.

We were both still completely covered, head to toe.

I frowned, fiddling with the ear of the worn-out brown teddy bear she was clutching. Its ear was frayed, one of its black eyes was scratched to hell, stuffing was coming out of the bottom left foot, and its cloth nose was hanging half-way off. She had that thing for as long as I could possibly remember. It never left this bed.

_Jasper would have to learn to share her when it came to that damn bear._

She exhaled, blowing hot air at me, "What's wrong, Emmett."

"Nothing," I frowned.

"Tell me."

"Rosalie doesn't want me, I don't think."

She scratched beneath her eye and sighed, "Why's that?"

"We had sex last night... and she acted really weird right after it, and distant all day today."

"Well, Emmett," she chuckled sarcastically, "can you really blame her?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You. Stop _dicking _with her emotions, and she won't build up walls around you. You're hot and cold. You've always been with girls."

"Well what can I _do_?" I asked. "What now?"

"You shouldn't have had sex with her, for starters. What did you do, will her into it?"

"No, I'm not that pathetic."

"Did you say something like those men using those war lines? 'Baby I'm going off to war and it's my last night and I want to spend it with you to see what it's like'?"

"No," I lied.

"Mmhmm. I can't help you if you're not honest with me. Or yourself, for that matter."

I groaned in frustration, covering my face, "Can I nap here with you?"

"Fine," she exhaled, "but no farting under these covers Emmett."

"Okay."

"I mean it. No _dutch ovens_, or whatever you call it where you fart and trap me under here so I can't get away."

I chuckled, "Fine, fine. I won't."

We lay quietly. I could hear her start to lightly snore, which she only did when she hadn't slept in a really long time.

I thought about me and Rose... how we had fun cooking dinner... how everything I planned seemed to go smoothly. All I wanted to do was give her the McCarty charm that she missed, and convince her that I was the best for her... and the sex was good, but not great, but I could look past that... but her being quiet all night, climbing out of bed as soon as she woke up, and being distant all day... I couldn't shake that off.

I kept trying to not let it bother me, but after I left her house, it all came crashing down.

This was what I _did _with women.

When I liked a girl, I hooked up with her, called her the next day or whatever, and went from there.

But with Rosalie, it was very strung out and ridiculous.

And again, more drama.

But... she was worth the drama... _right?_

After a good while, I couldn't handle the silence anymore. "Yo, Alice?"

"...Yeah."

"Are you gonna miss Edward when he and Bella decide to move in together or whatever?"

She frowned, "Yeah. A lot actually. I already feel him slipping away from me."

"Friends always get left in the dust," I agreed.

"I know," she sighed, "Seattle sucks."

I chuckled, "I know. I miss the cabin."

"Me too."

"Yeah," I whispered, turning on my side, "...me too."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

My chest felt really heavy when I woke up from my nap. I lifted my hand from my eyes, to find Bella lying on top of me, asleep.

We were still on the couch.

Groaning, I lifted my neck as far as it could go, and looked at the Grandfather clock on the sand colored wall in her living room. It was two in the evening.

"Damn," I whispered, trying not to wake up Bella as I dug into my jeans pocket. I pulled out my cell phone, and noticed I had eight voicemails, and eleven missed calls. I dropped my head back into the couch, and lifted the phone in front of my eyes, squinting at the screen.

Parents called three times. Emmett called six times. Alice called once, and my boss Aubrey called once. I listened to my voicemails of my father and mother rattling on about missing me, apologizing for their behavior and requesting that I'd call them back as soon as possible to let them know I was okay. Then Emmett, cursing and telling me to pick up the damn phone. Alice telling me she left Chinese in the fridge for me and Bella when we got home, and then my boss, asking me to please call her when I got back into Seattle.

I dropped my hand down, letting my phone fall onto the hardwood floor. Bella's head popped open, and I winced as her elbow jabbed my ribs, "Sorry baby, didn't mean to wake you up."

"What time is it?"

"It's after two."

"Is Rose up?"

"No."

She dropped her head back on my chest, sighing heavily in my shirt. I stroked through her hair, shutting my eyes.

"Hey Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking... when are we going to get married?"

My eyes popped open, and I blinked, "What do you mean?"

"I mean... is it going to be before or after we have the baby?"

"Before," I whispered, readjusting us to where I could be more comfortable, "definitely before."

"Soon?"

"Yeah."

"Because... I want to get married as soon as possible."

Again, I opened my eyes and looked down at her, "How soon is that?"

"Maybe... this week?"

"This _week_?" I asked.

"Yeah... is that too soon?"

"Depends. Don't you want, like, a fancy wedding with all your fa-"

"No. I want you and our friends and that's it."

"What about our parents?"

"No. I only want our support system."

I yawned, stretching my limbs out and then dropping them back on the couch, "It's still a lot of planning, Bella."

"No it's not. We could do it at the court house, wearing holy jeans and sweats."

"I am not marrying you in a court house."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not. We're not having _that _type of marriage."

"What does that mean?" she said, starting to get offensive.

"It means... I at least would _like _to see you in a white dress, and would like to not be married by someone who got his marriage license online."

"Edward," she groaned, burying her face into my shirt, "why do you have to be difficult?"

"You'll thank me for it one day."

"Yeah, when I'm _ninety _and haveAlzheimer's. Don't you want to get married soon too?"

I sighed, holding her against me, "Bella, I want to marry you right now. This very second."

"Then why c-"

"Because it's not right," I said. "Look... if you want to get married ASAP, then we'll do that... but at least let's get some nice clothes, and clear our schedules at work, and ..I don't know... maybe we could all fly down to the Caribbean and do it on the beach? Wouldn't that be nice?"

"Yeah, it'd be nice," she whispered. Then she sighed, "Nice and expensive, plus we just got back into town, and have jobs..."

"We'll figure it out," I whispered, kissing the top of her head, "I promise."

"Soon. I want Cullen on the end of my name NOW."

I smiled as she said that. She suddenly made me feel really warm inside, "You're so cute, Bella."

She giggled, nuzzling the side of her face on my chest, "I can't wait."

"I know. Me neither."

"If you, you know, decide to wake up and want to marry me tonight, please know that I'm all for it."

I smirked, wrapping the ends of her hair around my finger as I slipped back into my somber, "I'll remember that Angel."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

It was after four now.

"Well," I chuckled, as I opened the door to Alice's bedroom, "this is something a boyfriend hopes to never find when he enters his girlfriend's house for the first time."

"Shut up, Jasper," Alice groaned, rolling over.

"How the fuck did you get in here?" Emmett whined, throwing a pillow over his head.

"Alice gave me a key this morning," I climbed in behind Alice, and wrapped my arms around her.

Emmett chuckled, "Oh, Edward's gonna _love _that."

"Why should he care?" I scoffed into the back of Alice's head.

"Baby, please _shut up_," she groaned, shuffling in the bed, "I'm trying to sleep."

"Sorry," I replied, kissing her hair, "did you miss me?"

She sighed, "Mmhmm."

"Has Emmett been trying to feel you up?" I teased.

"Yes," Emmett said, at the same time Alice said, "no."

I laughed, and inhaled her scent on her pillows. _Freesia. The best._

"Your room is beautiful," I whispered, kissing her bare shoulder.

"Thank you, now shhhh."

I snickered, and did as she told me to do... until I saw a furry friend beneath her arm.

"Who's this?" I asked, lifting him in the air.

She quickly snatched him from my hand, and snuggled up against him, "Buddy."

"Who's Buddy?"

"Him."

"Mmm," I said, running my hands beneath her shirt and across her lower stomach, "is he _your_... _buddy_?" I couldn't help but snicker.

She elbowed me, causing me to groan, "Don't make fun of me."

"Sorry," I said, rubbing my ribs, before diving back beneath her shirt.

"Would you two shut the fuck up, I'm trying to sleep here," Emmett groaned.

"You're in _my _bedroom," Alice hissed at him.

"You _said _I could sleep here."

Alice huffed, not replying.

I lifted my head, to make sure Emmett was turned away. Then I stuck my hand beneath her drawstring pajama pants. _No panties. Mmm._

I felt her squirm, and cover her mouth, before elbowing me again.

I chuckled, dipping my fingers lower.

"Jazz," she whispered violently, "quit."

"Can't."

She elbowed me again, once my finger began to tease her entrance.

But, from the corner of my eye, I could see her smile forming. She should know by now she was born just as horny as I was, and accept our fates.

"Be very still," I whispered low enough to where only she could hear me, caressing her gently, "...and very, very quiet."

She shook her head, then covered her face to hide her bashfulness.

I bit the back of her neck and dipped my finger inside, and her hand fell to her mouth, stifling her moan.

Her breathing started to pick up as I moved my finger in and out, and I smiled against her shoulder blade.

"Quit doing whatever you guys are doing back there," Emmett mumbled, "I'm not falling for that shit twice."

Alice dropped her hands in frustration, and I stopped my tickling.

She glared at the back of Emmett's head, "How do you know we're _doing _anything?"

"Because you were too quiet and not snoring and I fucking know you."

"Then go lay down in Edward's bed."

"No. He probably fucked Bella in that bed a thousand and one times last night."

"So? I masturbate in this one," Alice said, causing me to grin at the thought... then flashback to walking in on her in the bathtub on New Year's... _Good times._

"Good point," Emmett said, sitting up, "I'll go in Edward's room."

"Later Emmett." I smirked.

"Whatever, keep the fucking _fuck _noises down to a minimal, _por favor_."

"I'll do my best," I said, laughing as he slammed the door.

Then I rolled over on top of her, and held myself up enough so I could look down to her, "I brought you a present."

"You did?"

"Yes."

"Where is it?"

"It's in your living room. You'll see it later."

"I want to see it now," she said, suddenly giddy, "please?"

"Sure," I chuckled, lifting my arms.

She squealed and scooted to the opposite side of the bed, then ran out of the room.

I waited, listening.

She squealed louder, "Oh, Jasper!!"

_That's what I wanted to hear._

I grinned, and climbed off the bed, and went to the kitchen. I got her two dozen white peonies -- her favorite flower, I learned -- and put them in long crystal vases.

"There's more," I whispered, sneaking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her tiny waist, "look in that one."

She bit her lip and stood on her tippy toes, trying to see. Of course, she couldn't. I lifted her in the air, placing her butt to my chest, so she could bend over the counter and look at them.

She let out another shout, clapping her hands, "It's a box! A _tiny _box! What is it?"

"Open it and find out," I chuckled, swaying her from side to side in the air.

She grabbed the small box, hands trembling, "I'm nervous."

"It's not going to jump out at you, I promise."

She held her teeth together, making more nervous sounds.

"Just open it," I laughed, sliding her back down to her feet. I kept my arms around her, and placed my chin on her shoulder.

Slowly, she opened the blue velvet box. Inside was a platinum silver ring, with two hearts connected in a slant. Inside each heart was a diamond, and on each side of the hearts, were three more diamonds.

"Wow," she said, covering her mouth. She unsteadily took it out of the box, almost dropping it, since she was shaking.

"It was my mother's," I whispered in her ear as I helped slide it on her ring finger of her right hand. "She received it when she was sixteen years old, from my dad. She never had a daughter, so she told me that when I found the woman I knew I was meant to be with, she'd pass it down to me. Well... I want you to have it."

She giggled, admiring it, "Is it..."

"It's a commitment ring."

"Wow," she exhaled tenderly, "I've never been given a ring before..."

I smiled against her cheek, "I'm glad I get to be your first."

"Jasper... thank you so much..."

I kissed her neck, and squeezed her tight, "You're welcome. I'm sorry I got sick and couldn't take you out on that date I had planned. I'd love to take you tonight, if you want."

"Of course," she whispered. "That means I get to wear my new dress."

I grinned, "Yep. We'll leave here around nine. It has to be late for the plan to work."

She turned a little so she could look at me, and kissed the corner of my mouth, "I can't wait."

I pulled us back into her bedroom, locking the door behind her, "Now, where were we?"

Alice giggled and jumped on me, forcing me to crash back onto the mattress.

She grabbed my hands, and started moving them down her body, into her pants again, "Right... here."

I bit my lip, and started moving, "Here is nice."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After my sister woke up groggily from her nap of depression, I made sure she was okay, while Edward talked on his cell phone. She asked me if I was coming home tonight, and I told her I wasn't sure yet. Edward and I really haven't discussed any of that yet... which we need to, I reminded myself to take mental note of that. She gave me a hug and I told her that if she needed me to call, no matter what time. She seemed a little reassured by that. At least she knew I was there for her.

We hopped on Edward's bike, and thankfully, he didn't make me wear the bulky helmet this time around. The thing had to weigh sixteen pounds or something. It hurt my neck.

I felt so good, being wrapped up on him... Truth me told, I felt like hot shit. Because, my fiancée was absolutely gorgeous, a hot bachelor in this town, and I got to wrap my arms around him and claim him as mine. And, arrogant as it sounds, I knew girls would be jealous of me. ...I'm not normally the girl that buys into that type of attention, but today... I was. It felt good.

I smiled against his shirt once we got to a red light. But he didn't turn left, on his road.

"Where are we going?" I shouted over his revving.

"Down town."

"Down town?" I asked. "For what?"

"You'll see."

I inhaled his scent, and kissed the back of his shirt. Edward revved the bike up in approval of my gesture, and I smiled again. I loved him so much, more so with every minute.

We flew through lights and weaved through cars, and I held onto him, laughing and giggling into his shirt. Every time we stopped, I couldn't help but notice people in their cars staring at us. Whether it was a guy noticing me, or girls noticing him... I squeezed Edward tighter.

Once we got to the biggest intersection on 1st Avenue, the line of traffic was so long, we had about a three minute wait. Edward placed both his feet on the ground, and leaned back, holding my hands on his chest. I pressed my chin to his shoulder, and peppered kisses on it, "I'm having a lot of fun with you."

"You are?" he smiled.

"Yes. You're a blast to hang out with."

He laughed, "I'm glad."

"No, I mean it. I never thought I could have the best of both world's... it's kind of nice, you being the guy that you are in the _guy's _world, and the guy that you are in _my _world... and I am here with you, in the in-between stage. I feel like I get spoiled sometimes."

He turned his face a little, and kissed my bottom lip sideways, "Yeah, well, that's because I _want _to spoil you."

Blushing, I buried my face in his shirt again. He smelt soooo incredible. It took all I had not to wrap my arms and legs around him... after I straddled his lap instead of this back seat -- which I was highly tempted to do, I must say.

"If we have a daughter," he said, rubbing my knee as he walked the bike forward, "you know I'm going to spoil the hell out of that child, right? Daddy's girl, all the way."

I beamed at the thought of what our little girl could look like, and stroked through the back of his hair, "Yeah, well, if we have a boy, you know he's gonna be a mama's boy... at least, I hope."

"Just like me," he grinned.

"Yeah," I whispered. For a moment, I felt guilty, knowing that he wasn't talking to Esme on my account. Those two were so close; it made me sad to know I was 'stealing' him away. But, as Edward's hand found my left one on his torso, and his thumb twirled my engagement ring around my finger, those thoughts went away.

Maybe I didn't 'steal' him... maybe he willingly walked away... Maybe we both had to, because we wanted this over anything else.

...And we'd choose 'us' every time. _That_, I knew, didn't involve any maybes.

"Hey!" Edward said, snapping me out of my daydream, "isn't that Jake?"

I looked over his shoulder, across two lanes of traffic and about five cars in front of us, to see a gray and blue Suzuki GSXR 1000 Phantom, with a guy straddling it, talking to people in the car beside him.

"Yeah, that's him, I think."

"Hold on."

I squeezed tight, and Edward weaved through the still cars, ignoring the honks and cursing from people jealous that we could weasel between them and they were stuck. He pulled toward Jake's right, and we noticed him talking to a group of girls in a red convertible. Three blondes, one brunette, one red head. All wearing clothes that looked like they belonged in the bedroom, not in town.

I could hear him barely saying, "I'm not interested, but you ladies have a great night."

_Jake? Not interested in hot girls? Hmm. _

"Sup, Jake?" Edward said, once we got closer to him.

Jake turned, and looked at us like we came from outer space, "What the fuck is that?"

Edward smirked, "A bike."

Jake quickly checked it out, and then nodded, "Not bad. '09? Hayabusa?"

"Yeah. Yours?"

"Same. Phantom."

"Cool."

_I felt like I was in the middle of a penis measuring contest._

"So," Jake said, giving me a slight nod, "what's going on with you guys?"

"Not much, just left my sister's house," I said, pressing the side of my face into Edward. Again, he revved the bike in appreciation.

Jake's face turned back gloomy just as quickly as it was before they started comparing bikes, and he nodded, suddenly interested in the red traffic light, "That's nice."

"What are you up to?" Edward asked.

"Just ridin' around, stretchin' my baby's legs here."

"Same here."

"Wanna go get a beer?"

Edward turned back to me, and I nodded.

He smiled at Jake, "Sure. We'll follow you."

"Alright. I'm bailing on this traffic light bullshit. I hate this fucking intersection."

"No prob, Jake. I'll be on your five."

"'K."

"What's that mean?" I asked as we waited to take off, "_on your five_?"

"Behind you, on your right lane. Like the number five position on a face clock."

"Ahh. Got it. Sorry I don't understand 'bike talk'."

He grinned, "I'll let it slide."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We pulled into Jake's favorite bar/lounge, _Amber Seattle_, and took a seat in the nearest corner.

Before I could protest, Jake ordered us a round of Tequila shots, and three Jaeger Bombs.

I pretended to be queasy, giving a sour face and rubbing my stomach, "Jake, I can't drink that. I'll throw it up."

Jacob glared at me, "Just do it, I'm having a bad day. Friends drink with friends who have shitty fucking days. It's a God-damn rule."

I frowned and looked toward Edward, and he winked back at me.

As soon as Jake turned to talk to one of his bar friends, Edward drank both mine, and then his, before Jake turned back around.

I smiled at him, rubbing his leg, but giving him a look that he'd be able to read. _Slow it down; you're driving a bike._

Edward gave me a slight nod, before turning back to Jake, "So... how's it feel to be back in Seattle?"

He shrugged, drinking his third shot, "Fucking wonderful."

"When do you start work again?

"Day after tomorrow."

"You're gonna make some good money when you get back, I bet."

Jake smirked at Edward, "I always make good money."

"Imagine my surprise," Edward replied. "So, uh, how far do you stay from here?"

"East side."

"Ahh."

"You?"

"He lives in the _Escala_," I said, trying to get them to stop being 'friendly competitors' for a few minutes.

Jacob scoffed, and then laughed, "The _Escala_? As in, the brand new richly, 1st Avenue condo?"

Edward smiled at him, "That'd be the one."

"Dude. What is it with you and flashy shit all the time?"

Edward shrugged, "Maybe I'm proud of what I earn myself."

"So? I got a nice ride and a decent bike, but I don't have to live in a condo near the _Seattle Space Needle_ to prove that I make a damn good living. No offense, and I don't want to talk figures, but I know for a fact that I make just as much, or more than you do for a living. Why you got to flash everything you own?"

Edward shrugged, holding up a fresh shot to Jake, "To each their own, right?"

Jake looked at the floating glass of _Goldschloger_, then smirked and clinked it, before drinking his with Edward, "Yeah. To each their own."

"Damn straight."

"Yeah!" Jake shouted, smacking his hand on the table, "Get us another round!"

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I rolled over and opened my eyes, blowing my hair off of my mouth.

It'd been a shitty day, and seemed to get worse and worse as time went by.

All I could think about was last night.

_How did I end up going from being on the couch, to getting two piercings, to dancing in my best guy friend's arms -- whom I am growing feelings for _--_ to ending up in bed with my ex-boyfriend -- who may or may not hate me now?_

My phone started vibrating on my night stand.

Pouting, I reached over and viewed the screen. Emmett. For the tenth time.

"I'm not ready to talk to you Emmett," I said at the cell phone screen, hitting the 'ignore' button. "Please don't come over."

_...Or, should he come over?_

_Would that help anything? Or make it worse?_

I tossed my phone away from me and curled up into my covers.

When I couldn't fall back asleep, I moved under my covers until my head was at the foot of the bed, and grabbed my phone again, before burying myself back into the dark warmth.

I texted Bella, _Where are you at? Any chance you may want to swing by later? Sleep in your own bed, perhaps?_

It took her fifteen minutes to respond with, _Doubtful. At bar, with Jake and Edward. They're drinking, and both on _bikes._ It's looking like it's gonna be a long night, so by the time I get him home safely, it'll be really late. I'll call you if things change._

I groaned, covering my stomach. The mere sight of Jake's name on the phone made it do somersaults, and I got this tiny twinge of jealousy that she was out with him and Edward having a good time, and I was under covers moping.

Rubbing my eyes, I thought more about last night.

**FLASH~**

_Emmett pulling me in the room, and locking it behind me, "Is this okay?"_

_"Yeah," I whispered, nodding and swallowing hard. "What are we doing up here?"_

_"You said you agreed with me about wanting..." he looked at me, fidgeting, "do you want to just go back downstairs?"_

_"No," I said. "We're fine."_

_"Okay." He grabbed my waist and walked me backward, stopping to sit beside me on the end of his bed, "I really wish that I could take these past few days back... I could prove to you how much I want you... and need you."_

It's weird how, everything he said, I didn't know if I could trust. And then I wondered how much of what I said, he trusted.

The odds with us and trust were very low, and I hated that it came down to that with us.

_"Emmett," I sighed, turning sideways to face him better, "I've made... a lot of mistakes lately. And you have too. And I wonder if, maybe, it's too late for us."_

_"No," he whispered, cupping my face, "it's not. You're here, I'm here. It can work if we let it."_

_I nodded, watching him move closer to my face._

_"So," he whispered against my lips, "we should let it."_

_I closed my eyes, inhaling as he pressed his warm lips to mine. They were smooth and slow, but still a little foreign. _

Was it all in my head? Was I not allowing myself to enjoy this?

_My heart was in my throat, but not beating a rapid pace... more like, it felt like it was still._

_He pushed me backward, and I ran my fingers through his short hair as he began to caress my ribs beneath my tubetop._

_"I had so much fun dancing with you at the club," he said into my neck, "I'm so glad I came back. I didn't know what to think, when I saw you all wrapped up on Black... But then I thought, it's Jacob, and he doesn't care about you like I do, and I knew it was going to be okay. He doesn't want you."_

_I clamped my eyes shut as he pushed my shirt up. I felt awkward, but for some reason, wouldn't stop him. My attraction and lust was strong, of course, because it was Emmett and I cared for him... but I still felt confused about what we were doing. We weren't ready for this, and I knew it._

_So why couldn't I walk away?_

He doesn't want you_, Emmett's voice kept repeating in my head, through echoes, _Jacob... doesn't want you. I'm glad I came back... doesn't - doesn't want you.

_That's when I pushed my thoughts of my best friend away for a few moments, and pushed on Emmett, so I could jerk his shirt off. _

_He kept trying to slow me down and take his time, but I just wanted him to make me forget. _

_Make me forget about him breaking up with me. Make me forget about feeling like a slut every time he glared at me afterward. Make me forget about my tearful nights to myself, or being out in that freezing cold snow after he walked away... feeling more alone in that moment than ever before... I needed him to make me forget about Jacob, too._

_In the middle of it, when he was on top of me and breathing into my neck, he whispered, "I love you Rose."_

_I held my breath and his shoulders, nodding._

_"D-Do you love me too?" He asked, slowing his movements and looking down into my eyes._

_I pulled my lips into a thin line, and stared into his expecting eyes._

Did I love him like he loves me still?

Or did all the rejections and the glances and the gossip and the ignoring me push some of my feelings away?

_I never answered him. Instead, I grabbed his face and pulled him down, kissing him until he forgot the damn question._

_Then I rolled us over, and took control from there, ignoring all the thoughts and scared, awkward feelings inside me._

_Afterward, he held onto me, but I didn't feel better about my decision or where I ended up being that night... _

_I felt empty._

_Hollow._

_Nothing but skin and bones, and no heart._

_That's when I closed my eyes, and prayed for sunlight, so I could get out of that room without making Emmett feel worse. _

_Because I didn't want us both to live out those dreaded emotions. _

_One person was bad enough._

**~FLASH**

My phone buzzed again, and I ignored his call, once more.

"Just leave me alone until I figure this out," I cried into my pillow, angry at my stupid self and my stupid actions. "Just leave me alone."

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Nervous and anxious, I squeezed Jasper's hands over my eyes, biting my lip.

I could hear the sounds of my heels hitting the ground in echoes, so I knew I was walking on something hard...

Every time I giggled, it bounced off the walls, back to me.

"Where are we going?" I asked, stroking his wrists.

"Just a while longer, almost there."

I laughed and took a deep breath, "It's so quiet."

"I know," he smirked behind me, his hot breath on my neck causing shivers down my spine, "that's the point."

"We're not like... in some scary, haunted, deserted building or anything, right?"

I could hear him smiling behind me, "Yes Alice. That's where I brought you for our romantic date, to make up for our time lost in the cabin. A morgue."

"Okay," I pouted, trying to pull his hands from my eyes, "let me _see _then!"

"No peeking."

"I'm not. You won't _let _me peek."

"Everyone deserves to have surprises."

"I'd rather know."

"You will after about fifteen more steps."

With every clank of my heel and step I took, my heart broke through more and more layers of my skin. I felt like, any second, it'd jump through my chest all together, and bounce on the floor.

At last, he removed his hands.

Giddily, I opened my eyes, and then gasped, covering my chest.

We were inside the Seattle Aquarium! He took me down the tunnel that had ceiling to ground, wall to wall glowing neon fish. We were standing above them, on glass. There was a path of golden tea-lit candles leading to a white linen, table for two, complete with two servers in tuxes, a few chef's and a food cart behind them, and a bottle of Champaign in the center, along with a vase of more peonies.

There was no one else in the entire building.

"Jasper, oh my gosh!" I said, allowing the joyful tears to stream down my surprised face. "This is AMAZING!"

He grinned, kissing my head and pulling me in for a sideways hug, "Do you love it?"

I watched as blue and yellow and green fish swam all around us, and nodded slowly.

I was breathless, stunned, and motionless.

He led me to the table, and pulled out a chair.

That's when I really got to look at him. He had arranged for a limo to pick me up from my place, and instantly found my eyes before I could see him.

But now, he was in black slacks, a long sleeved charcoal sweater, with a black and white pinstripe tie and plain collared shirt beneath it. My backless yellow dress made me feel relaxed. I picked the right dress, thank God!

I smiled, placing my hand in his open one on the table, "This is amazing."

Jasper grinned, squeezing my hand tight, "I've wanted to take you out on a date for eight days now. It's a shame I had gotten sick. But I'm glad we could do it here, you know? I love it here."

"No," I shook my head, staring into our walls, "this is perfect. Much worth the wait."

He brushed his thumb over my hand, then leaned forward, and whispered, "...So were you."

I closed my eyes, smiling and melting into his words, "You sure do have a way with the ladies. Who knew you were so romantic?"

"I suppose I have my moments of glory here and there."

"This is definitely one of those," I giggled.

Dinner was served to us, salad, shrimp, steak, potatoes, vegetables... Champaign on ice... We talked about everything... about my aspiring fashion line and his history major. We talked about our families and backgrounds more. We talked about anything and everything.

When we paused to enjoy the silence, there wasn't one single ounce of hesitation or worry.

I never felt more relaxed than I did with Jasper... whether it was lounging on the couch watching SNL, or here in a beautiful aquarium... Jasper was home to me.

After we ate, and the wait staff left, we walked around the building, admiring different sea life. He held my hand, whispered in my ear, massaged the back of my neck, and kissed my cheek while we traveled.

We never rushed what we were doing, and never interrupted each other when they spoke.

We just enjoyed each other's company, living on every single word the person said, whether anyone else would think it was important or not. Because it was to us.

And the best part?

When we got back to the middle of the room, Jasper surprised me with a slow song on the speakers, gently echoing around us in tender waves.

He placed one hand on the small of my back, where the dress met, and held my right hand in his left.

True to his country background, _Martina McBride's_ voice soothed me, as she sang, _'There You Are'._

I placed my forehead on his shoulder when he moved me closer, and inhaled him. When the chorus came on, and the line Every time_ I take a breath, and when I forget to breathe, you're watching over me... there you are_... I couldn't help it. I started crying again. I was completely overwhelmed in emotion with what was happening all around me.

All my life, I'd never been the main focus of _anyone_. Constantly overlooked as the 'sweet' or 'bouncy, fun girl', but never looked at as 'the one'... but Jasper never overlooked me... Even from the beginning, on that day the guys were in Bella's driveway... when he was with Jacob in his truck, and Bella was in the house... He looked right at me, and I saw it. Not through me, but actually _at _me. It was instant connection, and despite what it took to get us here, I was so happy when fought for each other.

I moved over a little, pressing my forehead to his chin, as he ran his hands tenderly on my spine. I felt him lock his fingers, and pull me up against him.

I never felt so protected.

"I love you," I whispered while we danced.

He pulled back a little, looking at me.

I nodded, brushing my fingers through his hair, "I want you to know. I've never loved anyone but my best friend in my entire life, and never like _this_. I love _you_, more than anything. I feel like, you've made _me _real. You've made me realize that... I have worth now."

He closed his eyes, lingering his lips on my forehead, before tenderly kissing it, "You're all I've ever _truly _loved, and all I ever _want _to love."

I shook my head, smiling and hugging him, "How did we get here?"

He squeezed me as tight as possible, but we never stopped dancing, "I guess we're the lucky ones."

I buried my forehead back into his shirt, and refused to let go of him, "The luckiest."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I laughed as we walked out of the bar, because, well, something was damn funny.

I couldn't quite figure out what it was.

Maybe a crack on the sidewalk? Maybe the lights of the buildings or horns honking in the crowded street?

Or perhaps the fact that I slid down three of the four steps and, if Bella hadn't caught me, I probably would have knocked out a few teeth from the metal trash can I about ran into.

Not to mention the four shots of Tequila, two Jaeger Bombs, eight shots of Golschloger, two shots of Bacardi, and countless beers and Cherry Bombs later... thanks to Jake for not knowing Bella was pregnant...

I threw my arm over Bella's shoulder, and accidently pulled her hair when I tugged her to me.

"Ouch," she giggled, pulling it from beneath my arm and dragging me toward the bike, "Edward, give me the keys, my love."

"No, hop on," I slurred, kissing her ear, though I meant that to be her cheek.

"Not a chance in hell," she said, pulling me away from the handlebars by the back of my shirt, "come on, give 'em to me."

I twisted around, stumbling against her because my stupid shoes weren't cooperating with my feet, "I'll give _something _to you."

"What's that?" she smiled up at me with those gorgeous, delicious brown eyes... _like caramel ice cream_... tempting me.

I wanted to devour her and fuck her senseless.

I licked my lips, thinking of the nearest place I could sneak her into, "...what was the question?"

She laughed, stroking down my shirt, "What will you give me, oh handsome and drunken one?"

"A..." I thought, looking around the sidewalks, "a... this!"

I threw my arms around her, hugging her tight.

She laughed, and her hands began to grope me.

I liked it. Instantly, I was hard, "Whoa, whoa, watch the hands in public. They're gonna arrest me for... uh... getting a boner on the street."

"I'm... trying... to find your... keys."

I lingered my lips as she felt my junk up in the middle of downtown. I smirked cockily and whispered in her ear, "They're not inside my dick but if you keep rubbing there, _something _is gonna come out."

"Edward," she laughed, throwing her head back and moving her hand away, _dammit_.

I kissed her head, then bent it sideways, latching onto her neck with my lips and sucking hard.

"Edward," she gasped, patting my ass with her hands, "wait, _mmm_, hey, hun... _gosh_... stop for a second."

I sucked and licked harder, ignoring her words.

"Edward," she giggled, pushing me back playfully.

Sighing, I released her neck with my lips, but held onto her hips ... partially for balance, "Yes, beautiful?"

"If you give me the keys, we can travel to your place, and I'll let you do anything you want to me, okay? How's that?"

I grinned at her, "Anything?"

"Sure, why not?"

"You do _not _want me to get you started on the _why not's _when you tell me _anything_."

She placed her hands on her hips, rounded her shoulders, and made those succulent breasts push out, "I'm not afraid of you, Edward Anthony Cullen."

I tapped her lips, then licked mine, slurring, "You sssshould be."

"And why's that?"

"Because... when you say anything... I want to do _everything_."

She giggled, searching more of my clothes, "Is that so?"

"Yep. That is very much so."

"Maybe I want to do everything too?" she teased.

I shook my head, "You can't possibly imagine what everything consists of when it comes to me. I can teach you things that you never heard of before."

"Oh really, cocky man?"

"I don't know man... Like-" I stumbled backward on the sidewalk, and she shuffled forward, catching me by my jacket and almost falling with me.

"Thank you. You saved me."

She giggled, "You're welcome."

"Bella, you're a hero right now. My hero." I hugged her.

"Thanks sweetheart!" she laughed.

I let go and started to wave my hands in the air, to show my words more easily, "I mean, I always thought you were beautiful and hot and sexy and I wanted to do you every fucking day since the day I _met _you... but now that you're like... carrying my _child _and gonna _marry _me... I just want to fuck you every single _second_. Now, I know that that's not the most romantic way of saying that and I'm sorry for my lack of... verbage skills at this second... I've had a little... _woooo_... _drinky, drinky_ ... BUT that's how I feel..."

"Is that so?" She seemed quite amused by me.

"Oh yeah... that's so..." I smiled, cupping her face in my hands and bending down to get extremely close to her face and short height, "Bella... you're so fucking beautiful... Like, the sky and shit, all the moons and planets and oceans and birds and whatever else around us -- they don't got shit on your beautiful face... In an imperfect world, colorless and lacking all charm, until you got here... You're perfect for me, did you know that?"

She shook her head then shrugged, smiling up at me and evidently enjoying my intoxication level. Not to mention the crowds of people on the street with us tonight.

"I fucking mean it," I said, after plowing her with a kiss, "you're fucking perfect, God dammit."

"You are too," she whispered, kissing me back after she stood on her tip toes and balanced the both of us out.

"You better fucking know it. No more second guessing this, because..." I stopped talking, put one hand on her boob, then her heart, which I meant to grab, then my other hand on mine, "oops, sorry about the breast there. But, uh, this shit right here. This is _real_. Fuck Phil, fuck Carlisle and Esme and Renee, and especially FUCK PHIL, Bella... I mean, not literally, but... point is, fuck 'em. You and me, baby. You and me, all the way. This is real."

"This is real," she repeated.

"This is _fucking _real."

She smiled, pulling the keys out of my pocket, "Well, how about you let me drive us back to your place, and I let you get started on that whole_ fucking me every single second rule _you just talked about?"

I licked her bottom lip, and nodded, "No one ever drives my shit. But I'll let you, because... hey, what's mine is yours now, Isabella. You want it, you got it. All you have to do is ask."

She pulled me to her aggressively, stood on her tip toes, and looked me dead straight in the eyes, "I want you to fuck me as soon as we get home. Does that work for you?"

I nodded slowly, mouth hanging open. She just got fucking hotter, and I never knew that was possible, "Yes ma'am."

"Let's get going then," she said in a dazzling way, holding out her tender hand for me.

I took it, and then shouted to everyone on that street corner, "JEALOUS, bitches! This is my future wife right here!"

The men cheered me on, while she laughed and pushed me toward my bike, "Let's go, crazy."

I started pointing out guys, "Jealous! Jealous! This is ALL MINE!"

"YEAH!" they cheered me on more, as a few guys shouted, "wanna share?"

"Fuck no!"

"Come on," she said, helping me climb on it and fastening the stupid helmet on my head, "the faster we get home..."

"The faster the everything and anything happens," I finished for her.

As we traveled back, I made a point to shout over the motor of the bike, or the horns of cars or whatever else, all the things I wanted to do with her.

And when we got back, we barely made it out of the lobby before I started molesting her in the elevator.

And once we got inside the house, I began to strip her fucking naked.

She giggled and laughed, grabbing me every time I tripped on her jacket or shirt or bra that I was tossing around, until we made it to the bedroom door. By this time, she had only pants on, and my shirt was stretched all to hell. She threw her legs and arms around me, and I shoved the door open, crashing the both of us into the wall.

"Mmm," she moaned into my mouth, pushing her back off the wall and pelvis down into me.

I unbuckled my belt and, after a few seconds of ramming my tongue down her throat, regaining my balance and unzipping my pants properly without getting snagged, I pushed her back into the wall, and she gasped, clawing at my hair. I snapped the button off her jeans on accident, and shoved those bitches down, before stepping on them and tossing her back up against the wall.

Each time she tightened her leg grip, it drove me on more. There wasn't a drink on the fucking menu that could have worn out my erection. She was too damn sexy.

I pulled her panties to the side, and right as I was about to smash the both of us through the fucking drywall, I heard the bed move behind me, and I froze.

The dogs were locked up in the kitchen, so I knew it wasn't Cora.

I slowly turned my head, to find Emmett leaning on my headboard, smoking a half burnt-out cigarette and grinning from ear to ear.

"Don't let me stop you two." he said, as Bella gasped.

"What the fuck are you doing in here?!" I shouted, making sure to cover Bella with my body.

"I needed my _buddy _to talk to and _you _don't know how to pick up your fucking phone."

"Get out for a minute, God damn!"

Emmett smirked and slowly walked out, making sure to take his damn time, before slamming my door.

I slouched down the wall, and when I hit the ground, Bella fell on top of me.

"Fucking Emmett," she cursed into my ear, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry about that," I sighed, grabbing her hips, "I didn't know he was here."

"Alice probably let him in," she exhaled, standing up.

"Whoa, whoa, Bella, where are you going?" I said, grabbing her legs.

"You have to go talk to him."

"No, no, no, we have to finish this whole _everything _thing."

"We will after."

"No, now," I insisted, pulling her onto me.

"Edward, we can't now. He needs you, and you need to sober up a little..."

"I need to fuck you," I said, sitting up and holding her against me, "I know I probably sound like a di-"

"Stop saying that. You're not a dick; I think it's sexy when you say-"

"Then let's ju-"

"Edward," she exhaled, tugging my hair and smiling, "breathe. We have forever anyway, and... He just screwed my sister and they're both feeling shitty about it and... How about, I make you something to eat to get some of this alcohol out, and then we'll finish this as soon as he climbs into that elevator or stair case?"

"You promise?" I pouted, giving her my best puppy dog face.

She grinned, kissing my nose, "I promise. Now what do you want to eat, and don't say me."

Groaning, I scratched my head, "Pancakes."

"Pancakes it is."

"No, no, French toast?"

She smiled, kissing me once more, before climbing off of me, "You got it, handsome. I'll be in the kitchen."

After she got dressed and walked out, I crashed into my floor and hit it a few times, panting as I stared up at the ceiling.

Then I shouted, "EMMETT, YOU _FUCKING _COCKBLOCK!"

As I pulled on my pants, I heard him laughing. If he wasn't my buddy, I'd go out there and punch him in his lip. _Dammit_.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Bella walked out of the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"Is he always this cheery after fucking you?" I asked, giving her a grin.

"I don't _know _Emmett, we didn't get that far tonight." She bent toward me, smiling and patting my leg sarcastically, "I guess I should thank _you _for that."

"Hey, I didn't know you guys were going to barge into his room and bang each other into the wall."

"Well, what do you expect when you stay in your friend's _bedroom_?"

"I don't know... perhaps some pacing of yourselves?"

"Not likely." She threw on one of his hoodies that was laying on the barstool, and began rummaging through the kitchen. Edward wasn't coming out anytime soon, so I went in there and sat on the counter, watching her pull out pans. She turned around and stared at me, blinking, mouth open.

"Easy killer," I grinned, "don't be checking me out with your boyfriend in the bedroom."

Her eyes trailed to the spot I was sitting at on the counter, and she started giggling.

"Are you on something?" I asked. "Can I have some?"

She giggled more, and shook her head, clearing her throat, "It's nothing."

"Oh, it's something. Do tell."

She placed her hands on her hips, glaring up at me, "You wouldn't want to know."

I pondered that for a moment, and then shrugged, "Okay."

She exhaled annoyingly and slapped the pan on the stove. Edward came out, scratching his head, wearing jeans that were low because he was too stupid to put his belt back on, and no shirt. He stroked Bella's back, and then gave me the bird, "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk... but now that Bella's cooking, I may just stay for breakfast."

They both looked at me, then Edward shook his head and pulled some OJ out of the fridge.

"I'm sorry I cock-blocked ya'll," I lied, "but you have to admit that it was funny."

"Why were you in my bed?"

"Alice told me that I could sleep in there, because her and Jazz were fucking in her room."

Edward groaned, "That's nice."

As Bella was waiting on her skillet to heat up, she reached over and grabbed the card from the flowers on the counter, quoting it, "_'The most precious love occurs without choice and when you least expect it. ~ Jazz_.' Hmm, how sweet."

"You don't like getting flowers?" I asked her. "Don't all girls like that shit?"

Bella shrugged, pouring in the batter, "They're sweet and romantic but, I'm not the type of girl that _has _to have them."

Edward grinned behind her, then wrapped his arms around her waist, "Love you."

"Love you back. Are you sobering up?"

Edward swayed a little, and shook his head, "Yep."

"You're shaking your head but saying yes?"

"Mmhmm."

She giggled, reaching behind her and patting his hair, "You're goofy."

Edward smacked her ass really hard, then turned and pointed to me, "Get in my living room so we can talk, you little white bitch. I got breakfast to eat and Bella to do so let's make it quick."

I tossed a flower I pulled out of Alice's bouquet at him, and then followed him to the living room.

We plopped down on the furniture, and Edward sighed, "What's up?"

"I fucked Rosalie last night."

"I heard, congratulations."

"_What _did you hear?"

"That you fucked her."

"What else?"

"Nothing. I chose not to listen."

"Why? You could have got me some dirt, idiot."

"Because she's going to be my family one day, and it's a conflict of interest."

I glared at him and shook my head.

"What?"

I continued shaking.

"_What_?"

"Shall I go and talk to Bella, see if I can get your balls back for you, before we chat? Because I really need my fucking friend, not some pussy whipped bitch."

He launched the remote at me, hitting me square in the chest, "Fuck you."

"I'm fucking serious. Where's the guy that liked to party and fucking have fun? Look at what you've resorted to."

"I'm the same fucking guy; I just don't have to chase pussy now. I get it when I want."

"I heard that," Bella called behind him, smiling.

I glared at Edward and ignored her, "You... are _gone_."

"Fuck you, get out."

"I ain't fucking leaving; I waited all day to talk to you."

"What do you want?"

I shot Bella a look, then stood up, "Let's go out on the patio, have some privacy."

As Edward followed me out, Bella shouted, "No making out together."

We both flipped her off, only mine was a serious gesture and his was a teasing one. We leaned against the glass on his balcony, staring out into the night.

I pulled out a cigarette from behind my ear, and held the pack out to him.

"No thanks."

"Huh?"

He turned to me, and shrugged, "I need to cut back."

"Since when?"

He took a breath and looked back toward the sky, "Since... Bella."

"She's running your life now? Doesn't want you smoking so she snaps her fingers and you obey?"

"She's not like that," he slugged my shoulder, "shut your fucking mouth."

"It sounds like that's _exactly _what she's like."

He shook his head, "Emmett, I'm gonna say this once. You're my boy and I love you, but don't fucking talk shit about Bella unless you got your facts straight, or you can leave."

I scoffed, eyeing him down, "What the hell man?"

"Bella didn't ask me to quit."

"Then w-"

"She's pregnant."

I looked at him like he just threw someone off this balcony. Then, I started laughing, covering my mouth with my fist, "Funny."

"No. She is."

"W... how is that possible?"

He looked at me, crinkling his forehead, "... Do you need a crash course in the subject?"

"You haven't been with her long enough to get her pregnant."

"It only takes once."

"...When the fuck did this happen?"

He took a deep breath, "When she cheated on Jasper with me."

"Ohhhh." Then it hit me, and I freaked out, "Fuck. FUCK! Wait, hold on. You're going to be a fucking FATHER?! What the fuck, Edward?!"

"Dude, calm down."

"No! No, no, no, no. What the fuck, why didn't you bag that shit?!"

"I didn't expect it to happen!"

"So! Stop for two fucking seconds and wrap it up!"

"Dude, you weren't there, don't insinuate shit unless you've been in my shoes, okay?"

"That's horseshit! If I _was _there, I would have wrapped that fucker for you. I can't believe you fucking knocked her up!"

"CALM DOWN!"

"No, this... oh my God, I might as well fucking... FUCK, Edward. This ruins everything you worked for."

"What the hell are you talking about? This doesn't change shit."

"It sure as shit does! Are you _kidding_, Edward? No hanging out with the guys, no going out. And what about your fucking job you've worked so hard at? After the whole drug shit, I'm surprised that Aubrey even took you fucking back in that damn hospital and I don't even want to know what you had to do to get your shit back in order there... and now, what? You're going to resort to fucking being at home at six, changing shitty diapers, getting nagged by your fucking chic, and going to bed before midnight. Not to mention having your balls COMPLETELY FUCKING REMOVED!"

"Hey!" he shouted, steaming fumes as he got in my face, "this is my life, my choices. If you don't fucking like it, then you don't have to fucking support it, but do not stand here and proclaim to act better than me! I worked hard to get where I am and it's not going to go down the drain just because I am having a life change. I have enough people on my ass as it is and I'm really trying to get a grip on this shit and stay calm and I cannot do that with you IN MY FUCKING FACE STARTING FUCKING BULLSHIT THAT DOESN'T MEAN TO BE STARTED!"

I took a deep breath and calmed down, before we started swinging. We both shook our heads, and took a few steps away from each other. I scoffed and kept my thoughts to myself, inhaling a deep drag.

"Give me a fucking cigarette."

I gave him one, and we both stayed silent while we smoked. I noticed his hands trembling, and him looking really stressed out, tugging on his hair.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, "it's been a long vacation and the transition and-"

"It's fine."

"No dude. Really, my bad."

"It's cool," he sighed, "I'm just... I'm really trying to fucking be a man and own up and make this work and keep _her _calm, and I can't have negative around me right now. It makes it all worse. You saw that fucking blow-out in the Cabin with our parents, and they don't even know about where we are or what we're doing now."

"I know," I agreed. "I just... you're my buddy, and I worry for you and I want to be there for you... You caught me off guard."

"You don't think this shit caught _me _off guard? Come on Emmett. This wasn't planned."

"But... you love her, right? You're not with her just because she's pregnant?"

"Of COURSE I love her and no I'm not with her just because of that. I _want _to be with her, I _want _to marry her... but I do not want people to assume we got married because she's pregnant."

"So uh... you want to marry her too?" I asked nonchalantly.

He nodded, "I already asked her."

"And she said yes?"

"Yep."

"That's awesome, congrats."

He gave me a look, "Do you really mean that?"

I nodded, patting his back, "I do. Like I said, I'm sorry. I got a little spooked about it."

He smirked.

"...What can I do?"

"Be my best man in my wedding."

"You got it. What else?"

"Start treating my fiancée better."

"Next?"

"Give me some fucking respect and the benefit of the doubt."

"Deal."

He chuckled, and we shook hands, patting each other on the back.

"So," he said, leaning against the glass, "why did you fuck her?"

Groaning, I rubbed my face, "Because I wanted to?"

He smirked, shaking his head and lighting another cigarette, "That's as good of a reason as any, I suppose."

"Yeah."

"So why are you all solemn about it?"

I pursed my lips, "Because, shit got weird after. She acts all tense and shit, and I know I'm not _that _bad of a lay, so I don't get it."

He laughed and then sighed, before looking over at me, "Dude. You're fucked in the head."

"You know, you're the first person to ever tell me that," I replied sarcastically.

"Why don't you just talk to her and ask her what the deal is?"

I shrugged, "I'm kind of... worried about what she'll say."

"Like she'll tell you she's not interested?"

"Yeah."

"Well... at least you'll know right?"

I nodded, shoving my hands in my pocket, "Yeah. But... I mean, she's the one who begged me not to leave her, you know? I thought that she'd be quick to get back with me."

"Women don't work that way. Trust me, I know."

I watched him watch Bella setting up some plates of food, and the comfort that was in his eyes, and, it made me sad. "I don't think I've been in love like you, man. I don't think that shit happens but like, with one couple in a lifetime."

He smiled, watching her still, "Sometimes it happens twice for one couple. Remember that."

"Hmm... Oh, guess who I ran into when I was running to the bank?"

"Who?"

"Heather _fucking _Dean."

He laughed, throwing his head back, "Ahhh, karma is a BITCH!"

"Dude, she got _hotter_."

"That's the way it works." _He was eating my misery up, the fucking punk._

"What's that mean?"

"Well... you break up with a beautiful girl for some fucked up reason, then you run into her later, and she looks even better than before. Rules of the game."

"It fucking sucks. She was all smiles and shiny blonde hair..."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Yeah, I said _what's up _and she gave me her new number, but... I don't know."

Edward laughed cockily and patted me on the shoulder, "Welcome back to Seattle, E."

Bella walked outside, smiling and leaning against the door, "It's ready."

Edward winked at her and threw his half-smoked cigarette off the balcony, "Come on, let's fucking eat."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After the boys ate, they decided to get on the Xbox and have some bonding time.

Therefore, I went to the bedroom, and curled up with the dogs.

I wasn't feeling too well, but I didn't want to tell Edward that.

I saw bits and pieces of his argument with Emmett outside earlier, and I didn't want to stress him out more.

Colleen shot me a text, '_are you back yet? We need to get together!'_

I smiled, writing_, 'Just got back... I'll call you tomorrow, we'll meet up.'_

I closed my phone, and sighed, rubbing my stomach.

"Bella?"

I rolled over on my back, and turned toward the door, "Hey Alice. How was your date?"

"Oh my gosh, Bella," she said, sitting on the edge of Edward's bed, "Jasper is amazing."

I smiled, "He's wonderful. I'm glad you two got together."

"Thanks."

"Where did you guys go?"

"He took me to the _Seattle _Aquarium! Oh Bella, you should have seen it, he had the place cleared out, and we ate diner and slow danced surrounded by these beautiful neon fish... I've never felt so amazing than tonight. I don't know how he did it."

I grinned and rubbed her leg, thinking of how clever Jasper was. His uncle runs that place, and he pulled some awesome strings to do that for her. I didn't want to tell her that, but it was really cool.

Alice rested her head on my lap, "I'm so happy for you and Edward... about the baby."

I raised my eyebrow, "You know?"

"Yeah... I had to go and get the pregnancy tests from the cabin before the parents got back."

"Ohhhh. Good thinking... thanks Alice."

"Do you want a boy or girl?"

"Someone that has my sarcasm and his long eyelashes... that's all I want."

She snickered, "You two are going to make some gorgeous parents."

"Oh," I sighed, falling behind her and resting my head on her hip, "I am so scared."

"I could imagine. But Edward's so supportive of you."

"I know... that's a good thing. I'm not worried about that anymore... But I really don't want to fail this child."

"You won't, silly girl. You are wonderful, Edward is wonderful, and you two together are doubly wonderful."

"There's so much to buy and provide for it. There's so much we're going to have to give up and with our jobs and-"

"It'll work out."

I smiled, "I know... I'm just... me."

"Everyone is insecure when it comes to babies. Just trust in yourself and Edward and you'll make it."

"I'm so happy it's with _Edward_."

She nodded, "It was God's plan."

"Thanks, Al."

"No problem... I just wish you guys didn't have to freakin' live together. I'm gonna miss Edward being around."

"I know, and we haven't even discussed _that _yet," I frowned, "but you're welcome wherever we are at any time."

"Thanks," she giggled. "So... wanna know some dirt?"

"Yeah," I laughed.

She rolled over on her stomach, and flipped around, so I wasn't staring at her ass in that dress, "Well... on the last night of the cabin... I got my nose pierced, Jake got his tongue pierced, and Rose got... her NIPPLES pierced."

"What?" I said, covering my face, "oh my, why?"

"Because it was fun!"

"You guys are crazy."

"Jake brings it out of us... We went clubbing after, and he can dance and he's so funny. He's just so... charming, and I don't know why I fall for it because he _knows _he can spin it that way... but my gosh, Bella, he really is when you get to know him."

"He's a good guy. I tried to tell ya'll that there was a reason that Rose and I kept him around."

"Well... I think maybe there's more to _Rosalie's _reasoning than that."

I sat up on my elbows, "What do you mean?"

She smiled from ear to ear, placing her cheek on her arm, "I think Jake has a thing for her."

"Oh," I said, lying down with her, "I sort of knew that."

"WHAT?!" she screeched, eyes wide.

"Yeah. I've thought that for a long time."

"Why didn't you tell me!?"

"I haven't told anyone," I laughed. "and it hadn't been confirmed. It's just... I think she does too. They're close, you know?"

"I had no idea, I just thought they were friends."

"Alice, have you ever really gotten close to a guy who you were attracted to, or thought they were attracted to you, and still _stayed _friends?"

She shook her head, in deep thought.

"Exactly."

"So... why aren't they together?"

I shrugged, "Emmett got in the middle."

"Yeah but... I don't know."

"I know. I don't know either."

Just then, my phone rang with Rosalie's ringtone_, 'Live Your Life' _by _Rhianna._

I flipped it open and answered it, smiling over at Alice apologetically, "Yes, sister?"

"I just called him, and he's coming over."

"That's good, Rose. You two need to talk this out."

"Yeah, but I don't know what I'm going to say to him."

"Just... let it happen," I said, "stop planning it."

"All I do is plan. It's part of my life."

"I know," I giggled, "but for your sanity, just... take it slow."

"I'm so scared, I'm like shaking here."

"Just breathe."

"Yeah," she exhaled slowly, "breathing is a good start."

I giggled, "Rose, it's just a guy and a girl talking and sorting crap out."

She groaned, and I could hear her flopping on the couch, "What if he hates me at the end of this?"

"He won't do that," I shook my head, "but... if he does, then screw him. He's not worth it."

I could hear her breathing heavily, "Reap what I sew, right?"

"Exactly. No fear."

"Yeah... oh shit, I gotta go get some clothes on."

"K, call me later."

"K."

After we hung up, I rolled over and Alice and I laughed.

"Drama," she said, "can't escape it if we tried."

"Ohhh, I know."

"Have you talked to your parents?"

"No. Mom's called me a lot, and Phil a few times, but I haven't picked up or listened to my messages."

"Avoidance isn't going to help you two out. I told Edward the same thing."

"It's working for now."

She nodded, pulling me up, "Come on, I wanna go see what Edward's up to now that Emmett left."

We walked into the living room, to find the boys still shooting each other on the game.

"Emmett," I chuckled, slapping him with a pillow, "you need to get going. Rose is about to pull her hair out."

"Go where?"

"Over to the house."

He looked at me funny as I sat behind Edward on the couch, and started playing with his hair, "She wants me to go over to her house?"

I nodded, dumbfounded, "Didn't you just get off the phone with her?"

"No, she won't take my calls."

"But then who..." I stopped talking, as Alice and I looked at each other. "Ohhhh."

Our nervous glances matched.

Edward and Emmett stopped playing.

Emmett turned to me, "Who's going over there?"

I bit my lip, shrugging my shoulders.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I threw on a pair of blue jeans that had holes in the knees, flip flops, and a couple colored wifebeaters.

Yanking my hair up in a messy ponytail and letting pieces fall wherever they felt like it, I rinsed cool water on my face and took a few deep breaths.

_You can do this, _I told myself_. You can do this. You need your friend, and you can face him._

_Why should you feel guilty? He isn't your boyfriend, Rosalie. Just breathe and get through this._

_Stop acting like a freakin' girl!!_

I blocked my reflection with my wet hand and turned, wiping them on my jeans.

I didn't dare sit down; I knew I wouldn't be able to stop pacing. So I swept the floor with the broom, fixed the couch cushions, straightened the remotes in a perfect line on the coffee table, and adjusted some picture frames on the walls.

Long story short, I was barely breathing.

When the doorbell finally rang, I was on pins and needles.

I staggered toward the door, and when my shaking hand touched the knob, I couldn't figure out how to turn it.

I'd never felt so scared in my life, not even when I gave my 'speech' in front of the Cabin.

The doorbell rang again.

I shut my eyes, biting my bottom lip. _Just get it over, get it over._

After cursing myself a few more times, I opened the door.

There Jacob stood, in his leather jacket, green t-shirt, dark jeans... sexy hair, scruff, big eyes, _check_.

"Hey," I whispered, smiling the best I could.

He lifted his left eye brow, keeping his hands pinned on either side of the door frame. He didn't say hello back.

I pulled my lips in a line and stepped away from the door, "Wanna come in for a second?"

He smirked and looked around the porch, "I don't know, I've kind of grown accustomed to this door frame."

"Jake... get in here."

He smirked and walked through the door casually, before dropping his jacket on our lazy-boy chair, "So... what do I owe this pleasure of, at... half past midnight?"

I shrugged, standing in the middle of the floor, "Just making time for friends."

"Yeah," he nodded, still not sitting. He was making me more nervous.

"Do you, uh, want some water?"

He looked at me for a moment, and then nodded, "Yeah. I need to sober up. I'll get it."

"You've been drinking?"

"Yeah," he said, walking into the kitchen. I listened as he got a glass out of the cabinet and poured some tap water in it. It was silent, so he must have been drinking it.

Eventually, he dragged his feet back in here, and plopped down on the couch, stretching out everywhere. He placed a foot on the coffee table, one on the ground, put his right arm over the back of the couch, and balanced the glass of water on his knee, using his left hand.

I crossed my arms over my chest, trying not to start pacing again, "Are you glad to be back in Seattle?"

He shrugged, "I guess."

"I am. It feels good to be home."

"Mmm," he nodded, taking another sip.

I watched him swallow it down, and I exhaled, sitting down across from him on the chair, "Thanks for coming over so late."

He shrugged again and stretched out more, "You ask, I show. That's how we work."

I hated his distance with me. His bitterness. "For the record, if you asked me to come over, then I'd be there in a heartbeat."

He looked at me, pondering something, then smirked and shook his head, before looking away. He began to rub the back of his neck, appearing just as awkward as I was.

We were NEVER like this. We've spent more time on that damn couch watching old re-runs than here on opposite sides of this room.

I wanted to cry again.

But I needed to get it out, so the faster, the better. Taking a deep breath, I waited for him to look at me. And when he did, I spit out, "I slept with Emmett last night."

He sucked in his bottom lip beneath his top teeth, then released it, and nodded, looking away again, "That's nice."

"Yeah," I exhaled, "...but it wasn't."

"Why's that?" he asked coldly, still not looking at me.

"Because it was the wrong thing to do."

"Mmm. Well... that makes all the sense in the world."

I sighed, fidgeting with my shirt hem, "...I don't know what happened."

"Were you drinking?" he asked.

"No."

"Were you on drugs?"

I shook my head, looking toward the ground.

"Were you-"

"I was sober."

"Ahh. So, how do you _not _know what happened?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

Jacob scoffed, chuckling under his breath and rubbing the top of his head.

"Just say it."

He shook his head, still grinning.

"Just say it, Jacob. What are you thinking?"

He looked at me for a few moments, causing me to about have a heart attack.

Then he leaned forward, sat the glass on the table, and stood up, "You don't want to know what I have to say, Rosalie."

"Yes I do," I said, jumping up to my feet.

"Trust me, you don't. I'm going to go."

I caught his wrist, and forced him to turn back around to me, "Jake. Please talk to me. Tell me."

He groaned, looking up and blowing out a puff of air toward the ceiling.

Then he turned back to me, and pointed his finger in my face, "You need to claim your life."

I looked at him, in confusion, "What does that mean?"

He dropped his hand and squared his shoulders to look me dead in the eyes, "You had sex with him. _You _did it. Stop saying that you don'_t know what fucking happened_, because you _always _do this, and it's _pointless_. You _do _know what happened, so man up to it!"

"But I'm not a man!" I shouted back, "Okay! I'm not you Jake, I can't just... I don't know. I'm not a man. I look at sex differently than you guys do!"

"But you fucking did it!" he chuckled, shaking his head. "And you don't necessarily have to be a man to understand this, but you need to take responsibility for your actions and stop _blaming _other people or the clouds in the sky or the mood music or whatever the fuck you want to blame, because in the end, none of that shit forced you to get naked and have sex with someone. You chose to do that on your _own_. Stop fucking copping out on your decisions, because the only way that you are going to learn and better yourself is by fucking admitting to what you did and go from there!"

_Leave it to Jake to put me in my place._

I pulled my lip in to avoid tears, and forced myself to not look away from him, "I know it was me, but I did it for the wrong reason. Can I say that?"

"That's a start."

I nodded, taking a long swallow of air.

He still looked really upset, "But you really need to get a grip and claim your life, Rosalie. We only live fucking once, you know? There isn't some big pot of gold at the end of the shiny rainbow in real life. Do you know what happens when your time runs out? You don't gain a fucking fortune. You die. You go in the ground. And the world keeps spinning on. And you better have something that you can say you're proud that you did in the end of this, because if not, what do you have to show for? What can you say you accomplished? I don't care if it's a fucking job, or a house, or a car, or just pure happiness that you sought for. The point is, you went out and you did it. YOU. Rosalie. And then, do you know what happens after you accomplish that?"

I sighed exhausted, "What?"

"After that happens, you realize... no one can take that shit away from you. That, is _yours_."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"Look, I may be younger than the rest of you guys, but I know when shit gets real. I know how to be a man and handle things. You need to learn it too. You need to distinguish the differences and outcomes in the decisions you're contemplating to make, because in the end, all we have is more choices. It never gets easier; it's an endless circle of decisions."

"That ...makes this worse."

"As much as I hate to say this, if you feel this guilty about what you did with Emmett, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you felt. Make this shit right."

I swiped my traitor tear from my cheek that fell from my right eye, and began to bounce nervously, "I'm so scared. I don't have anything figured out."

"You know more than you think."

"No... I don't."

"Well then you better figure it out."

"I don't know how!" I exclaimed, dropping my hands to my sides, "I don't know, I don't have guidance, I don't have-"

"You don't need guidance! You need to grow up and learn as you go!"

"That's so easy for you to say Jake! You're so good at everything! Me, I'm not like that! I'm not you, I'm not Edward, or Alice, or Bella, okay?! I'm just me and I'm scared to death."

"Scared of _what_, exactly?" he asked. "Tell me."

I shrugged, "I'm scared of life."

"No you're not."

"I'm not?"

"No."

"Then what am I scared of, Jake?"

He took a deep breath, and lowered his voice, stepping closer to me.

I stayed put.

"Fine, I'll tell you. Do you want to know what your problem is? You're scared that, if these people actually dug through all those layers of skin and see the vulnerable side of you, that they won't want it."

"I'm-" I whispered, but he cut me off.

"You're scared to let someone love you for who you really are. Here." He lifted his hand, pushing over my heart. "All the fucking fancy clothes and makeup and stylish hair and shitty pasts all that other shit aside. Just you. Just Rosalie Lillian."

I closed my eyes, allowing more tears to fall from my chin to his hand, still on my chest.

"But," he whispered sadly, "...what you don't realize is, someone already _does _love you for who you are."

I shook my head, sobbing toward the ground.

His voice came down to a low whisper, "...You're just too blind to _see _it, Rose."

I grasped his arm, squeezing his wrist tight.

I couldn't speak, because my throat had closed up.

He dropped his hand and pulled away from my grasp. "I gotta go."

"Don't," I tried to say, but it came out as more of a squeak than anything else.

He turned and grabbed his jacket, walking toward the door.

He didn't face me before he said to the door, "Just get your head together. You have too much of a beautiful soul to be this damn confused."

Then he swung the door open and closed it behind him, not bothering to look back.

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 23!  
-- Okay... so. I'm still going to do the 6 chapters of pregnancy and a few chapters after that. But the more and more I dig into this, the more I realize that these characters have so much unresolved and so much unspoken... so from now on, I'm not going to say how many chapters are left, because the number keeps increasing! I want to do a few more chapters of the 'present' moment, and then go into the jumps. But those 6 chapters will have other POVs as well, so we won't be losing any of our characters! YAY! I hope that's okay!**

**-- Please go to my forum on Twilighted(dot)Net! A few readers are asking if I'll do an "Open House", where you guys can come on there, and ask me any question about a previous chapter, character, etc. I think it'll be a fun idea. If you're interested in doing that, please come and chat and let us know! You can also chat with other readers, discuss what you think is going to happen, what you want to happen, so on and so forth. It's a lot of fun, I promise. (And it only takes a minute to register, and it's free!)** Here's the link once more: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=2577 --- make sure to replace the (dot) with an ( . ) Link also in my profile.**

**-- ALSO just another warning. It's not going to be fluff and happiness from here on end. There's still challenges to come! (I'm sure you guys know this by now. It's me here. LOL!!)  
**

**

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-- Baby Names: We'll do girls first.  
Thank you guys for the overwhelming response! I had to keep rewriting my list b/c of the additions! And there are a few top runners in the names already by voting suggestions, but I'm not going to tell you what it is just yet.**

**So ****PICK ONLY ONE NAME**** that you like the ****VERY BEST**** and put it at the bottom of your review!! I'll narrow it down.**

**I'm mixing the 'middle' name suggestions in with the 'first name', just in case.  
I'll also be using 'full names', so if you say something like Ann, it will be under 'Annabelle' and whatnot. Also, I hope I got everyone's! I sincerely apologize if one is missed.  
AND REMEMBER: Edward and Isabella are both timeless, elegant names... do we want to keep that pattern? Hmm... **

**Here we go:****  
-- Alana, Alice, Abigail, Alessia, Alexandria, Arianna, Ava, Ayden, Audrey, Antoinette, Aubrey, Andrea, Allison, Amelia, Annabelle, Alicia, Adalai, Ashlyn, Alexis, Addison  
Blossom, Bree, Brooklyn, Bailey  
Carlie, Claire, Cara, Cora, Caroline, Chaice, Charlotte, Callie, Charlie (Charlee), Chloe, Carlene, Cecelia, Charmaine, Christiana  
Denny, Danielle, Daniella, Delaney  
Elizabeth, Evelyn, Emilie, Ever, Emma, Eleanor, Ellie, Elise, Evangeline, Eva  
Faith  
Graciella, Grace (Gracie)  
Heather, Hannah, Hayden, Haley, Hope, Harper  
Imogene (Immy), Iligria, Isabella  
Jeanne, Jemma, Jordana, Juliet  
Kala, Kaylee, Kylie, Kae, Kate, Kristen, Kirsten, Katelyn, Kiren, Kalen  
Lillian (Lilly), Lecelia, Lynn, Luciana, Luna, Logan, Laila  
Maya, Mariella, Maybelle, Marie, Melrose, Mackenzie, Michaela, Madelyn  
Natalia, Nora  
Olivia, Ophelia  
Persephone, Peyton  
Quinn  
Renee, Riley, Rianna, Rose, Rayne, Rebecca  
Sapphire, Sophia, Sophie, Sophia, Samantha, Siobhan, Sarah, Skye, Summer, Seth (??), Sabrina  
Taylor, Talia, Tristan, Trinity  
Vivian  
Willow  
**

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**Reviews are better than Drunkward -- though he's pretty funny too! :D**


	24. Stepping Stones

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my amazing beta, for encouraging me to follow my heart and plans of this story, despite how controversial those ideas may be. You're the best teammate I could have. ILYVM.  
To my **Readers**, over 3,000 reviews and counting! Thank you for being so involved all the time, in every aspect!  
For your pimpage on this story as well, I owe you guys! -- Pimp, btw! Pimp like the wind!! :D

**Chapter Twenty-Four: *Tissue Warning*  
You know, in my personal opinion, the characters of Edward and Bella in the **_**Original Twilight Saga Series**_** are "destined soulmates, despite their differences, placed in obstruct and clutter of the world, where anything and everything has tried to pull them apart... yet they remain," and I wanted to share that with you, for this story as well.  
The odds are against this couple, no matter what... but I realized that not everything has to be directed exactly toward them in order for them to share an equal pain. So I wanted to display that for you in this chapter, how pain can also UNITE them. I hope I do this justice.  
That's all I'm going to say for this chapter.  
Pictures of outfits in profile.**

**A/N -- I'm sorry if this chapter upsets you. It's been something that has been thought out & discussed w/my beta thoroughly, and I hope I do each character well. ****Please excuse any errors. EDIT, ERROR IN 1ST PARAGRAPH FIXED.  
**

**Shoutout's to my friends/readers over Twilighted(dot)NET. You will be receiving ****sneak peek's**** of upcoming chapters from now on, as my gratitude for you being members!!  
If anyone else wants to join, there's a link in my profile, as well as on the bottom of each chapter! (*hint hint*)**

**

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**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"I'm under that night.  
I'm under those same stars...  
We're in a red car, you asleep at my side...  
Going in and out of the headlights.  
Could I have saved you?  
Would that've betrayed you?  
...For blue, blue skies...  
I'll forgive you." **_

_**Strays Don't Sleep, "For Blue Skies"**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Stepping Stones**

**BellaPOV**

_Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!_

Edward and I shot up out of the bed, blinking around.

The dogs began to bark, and Edward quickly shushed them.

_Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!_

"Edward," I groaned, looking at the clock, "it's three in the morning."

"It's probably Alice getting in and not knowing how to get the new code to work. I changed it last night. Just in case."

I flopped down on the bed, while Edward shuffled for some pants.

"Come here Spendor," I said, stroking his hair, "it's okay, stop growling."

Edward stumbled around, flicking on the light.

_Bang, Bang, Bang, Bang!_

"I'm coming!" he shouted, "Damn Alice."

"I'm in my bedroom, hurry up and get the door!" Alice shouted back to him.

I sat up, suddenly nervous.

I wasn't sure why, but I was.

I quickly threw on Edward's long button down and some shorts, and followed after him.

"Who is it?" Edward asked as he walked toward the door.

"It's your father, Edward. Please open up."

"Dad, it's fucking three o'clock in the morning."

'I know, son, it's important."

"Jesus Christ," Edward said grumpily, swinging the door open.

There stood Carlisle and Esme, wearing frowns and tearful expressions.

I pulled my lips in a line, ignoring the rapid beating in my heart.

"Come in," Edward said, moving out of the way.

They shuffled inside gently, still sighing.

I couldn't figure out why they were here so late.

_Was it because we ran out on them? Not picking up our phones or listening to our _voicemails?_ Were they here to fight?_

Esme took a deep breath, looking over at me solemnly.

I reached out and grabbed Edward's hand. I'm not sure why but I felt like I needed it.

Carlisle cleared his throat, gaining all of our attention, "Bella... there's been an accident."

"W-What kind of an accident?" I asked, clutching my chest.

"Phil had an accident last night, on his way back from the doctor's office."

"Is he okay?" Edward and I asked at the same time.

Esme stepped toward me, grabbing my shoulders gently as tears streamed down her face, "No baby, he's not."

I gasped, eyes wide. I couldn't manage how to take a breath.

Edward quickly wrapped his arm around me, pulling me into him.

"W-what?" I asked, my mind growing a blank.

"He died," Esme said through tears, hugging me and Edward at the same time. "His car hit a rough patch of ice on the roads, and he did a one-eighty spin, crashing the driver's side into a telephone pole. It was instant. We've tried to get hold of you bu-"

"Where's Renee?" Edward asked, squeezing me tight.

I still couldn't think.

"She'll be in Forks later this morning. Carlisle is going back to get her, and fly back here with her, so she won't be alone."

I shook my head, trying to make sense of what they were saying around me.

Carlisle and Esme continued to talk about how it happened, but my ears blocked it out.

I slid down a little, but Edward grabbed me, and sat down with me.

I felt more hands touching me, but couldn't get a grip on what was going on.

All I could think about was what we'd been through these past few days.

Phil and I never fought.

He was one of my best friends as I grew up.

But I picked Edward over him.

And now he's gone?

"This isn't possible," I said, face still blank, but tears falling from my overfilled eyes.

"Does Rosalie know?" Edward asked quietly, stroking the back of my head as I sat crumpled in his lap.

"We got a hold of Jacob's cell through Renee," Carlisle answered. "He's the only one who'll pick up on our calls. He's on his way to get her."

"Oh my God," I sobbed, clutching Edward tight. "Oh my God."

Edward muffled my ears so I didn't have to hear anymore, but I caught things such as "tried to help" and "instant impact" and "driver's seat was sitting on top of passenger seat" and "too much glass."

"Edward," I croaked out through my tears.

"Shh, I've got you baby," he whispered back.

Edward held me tight for a good while, letting me get out whatever was held in.

But nothing made sense.

Still.

"Come on Bella," Esme whispered, helping me and Edward stand to our feet, "let's get some clothes on you and we'll call your mom, let her know we got to you, okay?"

"Yes," I replied.

She pulled me into a hug, and it started the whole crying process over again.

"I'm so sorry about everything," I said into her shoulder.

"No, no, don't you worry about that now, Bella, shhhhhh," she said as she helped me in my room.

I saw Edward and Carlisle hugging from the reflections in the windows, and clutched my heart when we got to the room.

I didn't know what to do.

The world suddenly felt still... but spinning crazily at the same time.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

Rosalie opened the door, her eyes red and puffy.

"Hey," I said, coming inside.

"I know," she whispered, shaking her head.

"You do?"

"Yeah," she nodded, grasping for air, "I just got off the phone with Renee."

I closed the door behind me, and turned to face her again, holding out my arms to her.

She started sobbing, and I pulled her into me.

"I'm so sorry baby," I whispered into her ear.

"My dad," she croaked, as I grabbed her because she was falling down.

"I know," I whispered, picking her up in my arms.

"My sister," she whispered, soaking my jacket in tears.

"I know, angel."

"My mom," she cried heavier.

"Shhhh," I said, taking a deep swallow.

She clutched my jacket, shoving her face into my chest, choking on salty wetness, "No, Jacob, this... this isn't real, right? Please tell me it's not real. Please, please, please tell me that... this isn't real, this isn't real, this... it's not real. Please..."

I stroked her hair, trying my hardest to fight back tears and be strong.

"I can't Rose," I whispered. "I'm so sorry."

Her phone started vibrating, and she cried heavier when she heard it.

I managed to twist us around, and stretched out, pulling it to me with the tips of my fingers.

It was Bella.

I answered it, stroking Rosalie's back, "Hello?"

"...Does she know?" she whispered, so light I barely made it out.

"Yes, I'm here with her."

"Okay," she replied numbly. "I'll be there soon."

"Are you okay to drive?"

I heard her sobbing, and fight back the tears, "...Y-yeah, Edward and... and..." She started choking up, and couldn't talk that well, "please tell him, I can't... I can't."

"Shhh," a voice said. "Jacob?"

"Yeah?"

"Hey sweetheart, it's Esme. We've got her and we'll bring her over as soon as we get hold of Renee. How's Rosalie?"

I looked down to her shaking, sobbing from below my chin, "...I've got her."

She took my dodging the question for what it was. "Okay... we'll be there as soon as possible."

"Thanks Esme."

I placed the phone gently onto the hardwood floor and cradled her head on my shoulder, lifting us both up off the ground. I adjusted her bridal style, and she clung to my neck, her wet lashes and heavy breathing on my neck. I carried her to the couch, and sat down, balancing her on my lap.

"My dad," she whispered through tears.

"I know..."

"...He's gone."

I nodded, rubbing her back, "I've got you now. Get it all out."

She shook her head, fighting back.

"It's okay sweetheart, I've got you."

She gasped into my neck, shaking her head faster, "No, no, no, no...."

I squeezed her as tight as possible, hoping she'd burst with my strength.

Eventually, after she pounded my chest and struggled, she finally broke down, sobbing hard and heaving and gasping and breaking down slowly.

Each minute that passed took more of her spirit away, until she was just as numb as Bella sounded on the phone.

And though I wanted to grow numb with her, I tried to not think about Phil and growing up with him and Renee.

I tried not to think about anything, but keeping her in my arms and making sure she knew she had someone.

I tried to be strong.

**

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**

**3 Days Later**

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**

**EdwardPOV**

I finished the last of the buttons on my crisp, white, collared shirt, threw a black tie around my neck, and walked out of the bathroom, to find Bella, sitting on the edge of her bed.

We've spent the past few days here at her house, with her family.

Her silk hair was in gentle waves. She wore a smooth, black, fitting around the bust dress that flowed down from her hips toward her knees. It had a slip coat over it, with lace showing an inch below the bottom hem, and around her collar bone and sleeves.. She matched it with simple black shoes, and a knee-high dress coat, that had double buttons trailing from the shoulders to her waist. They were resting on the bed beside her.

Seeing her, and being me... it reminded me of before Charlie's funeral.... in her bedroom... in these exact positions.

I gently knelt before her, brushing her knees, "Hey baby."

She looked up at me with sad eyes, and half-smiled in response.

"Come on," I whispered, lifting her foot and placing it on my knee, "let me put these on for you."

She nodded, watching me and sniffling.

I got both shoes on, then placed her feet gently back to the floor.

"This feels so surreal," she whispered down to me.

I frowned at her, "I know."

"Where's my mom?"

"Renee is in the kitchen with my mom," I said, rubbing her calves. "She's holding it together pretty well."

She nodded, looking down to her hands in her lap. "That's good."

When everyone arrived at Bella's house, Renee kept breaking down. Anytime someone hugged her, she lost it. But if someone didn't hug her, she still lost it, because she felt too alone.

"Are the reporters still outside?" she asked, placing her hand tentatively on my shoulder.

"Yeah, unfortunately."

Because Phil played professional baseball, it didn't take much for the news to break around, and we've been hounded with cameras ever since. They've camped out on Bella's yard, since they found out Renee was staying here. The reporters also found out about them losing Charlie, so... it's been a whirl-wind around here lately.

Not to mention the enormous amount of flowers and cards and letters of prayer sent around the country from fans of his.

She forced a smile, and leaned forward, stroking my tie, "You look so handsome."

"Thank you."

Esme came in, wearing an elegant black dress ending at the knee, with a mid-waist gold buckle for design. She was carrying Bella's necklace that matched mine, on a new chain. Earlier today, Bella's mom collapsed from exhaustion (she hasn't been able to sleep) and grabbed a hold of Bella for support, ripping the necklace right off of her and snapping the chain in half.

My mom went to the mall and got a chain, despite Bella's objection. She lifted Bella's hair and I wrapped the necklace around, fastening the clasp.

"Perfect," Esme whispered, kissing Bella and my head before walking out.

My mom and Dad have been amazing toward us since the accident.

Bella placed her forehead on mine and squeezed my biceps, taking deep inhales.

I closed my eyes along with hers, and stayed put.

All we did was breathe.

"Bella?"

We both turned, to find Emmett in the doorway. He wore a black suite, with a charcoal tie that had a few white diagonal stripes down it.

"Yeah?" Bella whispered, still holding onto me.

"Your sister wants you."

"Okay," she said.

I helped her rise to her feet, and made sure she was okay, before I released her in the hallway.

Emmett frowned and patted my back, as we watched her go. "This really sucks, huh?"

"Yeah," I whispered. "It really does."

"How's she holding up?"

I shrugged, "As good as can be expected... she's strong."

"Yeah."

"How's Rosalie?"

"She was crying earlier, but seems better now. I think she's still numb."

I gave him a pat on his arm, "We all are. I'm going to go talk to my dad about what we need get done before we take off."

"Alright."

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

My sister walked into my bathroom, "Hey Rose."

"Hey," I said, "can you help me?"

"Sure, what do you need?"

I swallowed hard, fighting back tears, "I don't know what kind of make up to wear."

She slowly stood behind me, rubbing my back, "What do you mean?"

"Well," I sobbed, examining over the colors, "...what does someone wear for the last time they get to see their dad?"

Bella took a deep breath, running her fingers through my wavy hair, "I don't think it really matters. When Charlie passed, I stayed neutral, because I knew I was going to cry it all off."

"Yeah," I gasped, fiddling with my eyeshadow wands, "but I want him to see me pretty. You know? I know that doesn't make sense, b-"

"It makes perfect sense," she replied soothingly.

I grabbed her hand as she stood to my side, and she picked up my color pallet.

"I think you should go bronze," she said, giving me a gentle smile, "...bronze would look beautiful with your outfit."

I looked down, at my high black, knee-length skirt, and ruffled white blouse, "It's not all black, b-"

"You look beautiful."

I nodded, "Thanks."

"Come on, let me help you."

"Okay," I whispered, sitting on the toilet. "Make sure to use waterproof."

"I will."

I couldn't manage releasing her wrists, but she didn't seem to mind, as she applied my color, "How are you holding up Bella?"

I felt her shrugging, "Okay."

"The baby? How are you handling the stress?"

"I'm glad I have Edward," she exhaled. "That's what I'll say."

"Yeah... He's been wonderful with everyone. Really helping out."

"I know."

"Oh my God," I sobbed, as realization hit. I pulled her hand away, shaking my head.

"What is it?"

"...Are we still... sisters?"

"Of course," she exhaled, brushing my hair behind my ears, "this doesn't change anything."

"Bella," I said, as tears started to overpour, "I don't know if I can do this."

"You can."

"No," I shook my head, starting to panic, "I can't say goodbye to him."

"It's okay Rose, it's gonna be-"

"It's not though. It's really not. I can't see him lying motionless. I-I can't say goodbye to my father."

"Shhh," she said, kneeling in her dress on the tile and hugging me.

"I can't Bella," I closed my eyes, feeling the tingling of tears streaming slowly down my face.

"I know it's hard. I _know _it's hard."

"Bel-" my voice cut out and I put my forehead on her shoulder.

"Shhhhhh sissy, it's okay..."

"Please don't make me say goodbye to him, Bella."

She squeezed tighter, whispering, "You don't have to, Rose. You can just say... '_I'll see you soon, daddy'_."

That broke me.

I lost it.

I started to heave and struggle for air, crying and losing control.

Bella tried to calm me down, fanning air toward my red face.

It didn't help.

"I, can't breathe," I said, my palms turning sweaty.

"Shhhh, yes you can."

"No I can't!" I cried, shaking my head.

My hands started to tremble, and I felt a dizzy spell coming on.

"Bella," I shouted, struggling to regain control.

"Shhhh, Rose, calm down."

"I'm gonna faint. I-I'm gonna pass out or throw up or something."

"Jake!" Bella shouted, "Please get Edward."

My stomach started to twist and bounce around.

Jacob ran in here, skidding to a stop at the door, "What is it?"

"She's having a panic attack."

"Rose?"

"I CAN'T BREATHE!" I shouted, grasping at my sealed tight throat.

Jacob ran in there, turning me on the toilet seat toward him.

I shook my head and bent forward and threw up... all over his suit jacket.

His hands tensed on my thighs, and Bella's hand froze on the top of my head.

I didn't want to open my eyes.

Then I threw up again, trying to ignore the sounds of it hitting the floor.

Bella gagged and ran out of the room, but Jacob stayed put.

My tears splashed all over us, and I gripped his arm tighter.

"It's... okay, Rose," he said, because I started crying more now.

"I'M SO SORRY," I said, shaking my head.

"Shhh, it's okay, it's just a fucking jacket."

Edward and Esme ran inside, and helped us stand up.

Esme started cleaning my unfortunate mess off the floor -- _God Bless her heart_ -- while Edward helped Jake wash the puke off my knee and strip his jacket off.

They tossed the soiled cloth into the tub, and checked me over, making sure there was nothing else on me.

Thankfully, nothing got on my outfit. My dad got me this skirt.

I kept apologizing to Jake, but he kept hushing me back, telling me that he didn't care.

My head felt like a bass drum, it was hurting so bad.

All I wanted to do was see my dad alive again.

...Just one more day, just one more minute.

_Why was that too much to ask?_

* * *

**AlicePOV**

"Rose is getting sick," Jasper whispered into my ear, as he stood beside me and rubbed my back.

We saw Bella running down the hallway, then heard gagging noises, in a different direction.

Carlisle ran after her, to assist her.

"Now Bella's getting sick," he frowned.

I clutched his hand, admiring his black suit, black silk shirt, and white tie, "You look nice."

"Thank you. So do you." He kissed the side of my head.

I looked down to my black cotton dress, which came a few inches above my knee, that tied in a bow above my breasts.

Renee walked in, still in white robe.

She looked exhausted.

Her trembling hands found the coffee pot, and she struggled to get it out of the holder.

"Here, let me help you," Jasper said, reaching over me and getting it out for her.

He poured her cup, and Renee sighed, slouching over, "T-th-hank you, Jasper."

"It's no problem ma'am. Do you want any cream or sugar?"

"Just b-black, please. Thank you."

Jasper wrapped a paper towel around the hot cup and handed it to her.

She forced a smile and walked out slowly.

I hooked my hand through the bend in Jasper's arm, and pressed my cheek against his shoulder, "This is so sad."

"I know."

"I don't deal well with this sort of thing."

"I don't think anyone does."

"Yeah," I closed my eyes, squeezing his arm, "but I _really _don't. I don't know what to say, or do. I don't know how to help."

"All we can do is be there for them."

"But how?"

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side, "We love them."

I nodded, hugging him tight, "Yeah."

Carlisle walked in after a few moments, wearing a black suit, with white collared shirt and silk charcoal underjacket, and black tie, "You guys okay?"

"Yeah," Jasper said, "how's Bella?"

"She's fine. Reaction from her sister."

"How's Rosalie?" I asked.

"She's better now. Jake's got her. Edward's helping them now."

Carlisle rinsed out a wash cloth, and then gave us both a pat on our arms.

After he left, Jasper moved me in front of him, and rested his chin on my shoulder, "Carlisle's taking this well. He was Phil's best friend."

"He sees this all the time though," I shrugged, holding his hands around my waist, "maybe he's blank inside?"

"I would be. I don't know what I'd do if I lost someone that close to me."

"I know," I sighed, leaning into him, "me neither."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After all of the women got dressed, the guys stood outside, ignoring the press snapping pictures of us.

The visitation was open yesterday, so we were all pretty annoyed with the media at this point.

I couldn't understand why they needed to snap pictures of people in mourning.

After all, the funeral today was private, and for family and friends only.

Regardless, we tried to ignore them.

My dad explained to me, Jasper, Emmett, Jacob, and Phil's brother Andrew what the six of us were going to do, as far as being pallbearers were.

I lit a cigarette and passed my lighter around.

"Edward," Carlisle sighed, patting me on my back, "I really wish you wouldn't smoke."

I looked at him knowingly, and then held out my pack to him.

He frowned, and pulled one out, "I haven't smoked since I was sixteen years old."

"Best time to start up again," Emmett said, as I lit it for my dad.

Jacob smirked, loosening his tie. He didn't have a suit jacket to wear now that his was soiled, but he kept his white collared shirt, tie and black slacks on.

"Dad," I said, turning to face him.

"Yes, son?"

"Bella and I are going to talk to you and mom and Renee later, if that's all right?"

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "we're fine."

"Can I ask what it's about?"

"Uhh," I said, flipping my suit jacket back and sticking my hands in my pockets, "I'd rather have Bella present, if you don't mind?"

"Sure Edward. That'd be fine. As long as it's nothing serious."

"It's nothing bad, I promise."

Bella opened the door, gracing my eyes with her beautiful presence as she stood on the porch, "Can I borrow you for a second?"

I nodded, taking a final drag and putting the cigarette out.

I followed her through the silent house, down the hallway, and into the bedroom, where she shut the door behind me.

"What's going on?"

She pushed me to sit on the bed, and then climbed up sideways on my lap. Then she curled up into me, and placed her head on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her close to me.

Silently, she began to sob.

I knew why she needed me in here.

I was the only one she could break down in front of.

Staying quiet, I gave her all the time she needed, stroking her hair and rocking her tenderly.

"I don't regret my decision to go with you," she shook her head, sobbing into my neck. "But I wish I didn't have to make it."

"I know baby," I whispered, rubbing the small of her back.

"And now we're having a baby and neither of my dad's are going to be able to see it grow up."

"Shhh, don't you worry about that," I said, lifting and kissing the back of her hand, "it's going to be fine."

"I really love him and miss him so much. He was my dad, too... You know? I know... I know I never called him that much but that's because I didn't want to feel like I was replacing _my _dad, you know? And now, I mean... Edward... I can't... and Rosalie... and m-my mom..."

"Shhhh," I wiped off her face and held her closer, allowing her to hide her face in my shoulder completely.

"I don't ever want to lose you," she said, clawing at my clothes. "I can't ever lose you like this."

"I know baby."

"This is so hard."

"...I know it is."

"I honestly can't do it. I'm trying to stay strong but I'm breaking down inside and..."

"I've got you. You don't have to be stronger than what you are, Bella. It's okay to weaken down under these circumstances."

She nodded into my jacket then shook her head, "I hate this."

"I do too."

We remained silent for a few moments.

Then I had an idea.

I brought my right hand to her stomach, and rubbed it soothingly, "Bella, guess what?"

"What?" she asked, rubbing her face on my neck.

"Our baby told me to tell you that it loves you."

She giggled under her sniffles, shaking her head.

"I'm serious. God told me, just then, to tell you that. I figured I'd better not be hesitant about it."

"Edward," she exhaled, turning her face to rest her cheek on my wet jacket.

"Yes, my love?"

"I love you."

"I love you as well."

"I won't be able to make it a day without you. You know that, right?"

I nodded, massaging the back of her neck beneath her hair, "I know. Same goes for you."

"Please promise me you won't ever leave me."

"You have my word that I'll do my very best."

She shook her head, curling her fingers around my tie, whispering, "Not good enough."

I smirked, hugging her with both arms, "I promise, Bella."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

We chose a Remington Ebony Steel Casket to lay my step-father to rest in. It was picked because Phil was tough on the outside, like steel, but had a polished and endearing heart.

I knew deep down inside that, when Phil asked me to choose that night in the cabin, that he didn't mean it.

He was upset, and so was I, and everyone else.

We all reacted poorly.

I just wished that I would have told him I loved him at least.

I wasn't sure why I didn't, and that's what I regretted most... running out.

My mom chose to bury Phil in his favorite _Colorado Rockies_, purple and white pinstriped uniform, and baseball bat that was signed for him by Alex Rodriguez, which was his favorite player.

We arrived to the Ocean View Cemetery, here in our hometown of Forks, Washington.

It was Phil's hometown as well, after he moved from Arizona when he was three.

I held onto Rosalie on my right, and my mom on the left, as we watched the guys pull the casket from the hearse.

My mother clenched tight, unable to look anymore.

We weaved through all of our family and close friends, and Phil's teammates that flew up to support us and say their final goodbyes.

Once the casket was placed beneath the tents, above the grave, the guys came and found us to stand by. Edward stood behind me, and I leaned into him, holding both his hands tight on my stomach with my right hand. Emmett was kind enough to support my mother, partially because he was the only one that could keep holding her up. Carlisle found Esme, Jasper found Alice, and Jake held Rosalie's other hand that I wasn't holding.

I heard my mom sobbing louder than anyone else.

Rosalie was stiff as a board and barely breathing.

"_The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever_."

I couldn't look around to anyone else, trying to fight back my tears as much as possible, while the last prayer was given.

"Almighty God, out of the darkness of our grief, we cry to you, O Lord. You gave Phillip, a precious gift, to us, and you have taken him away so suddenly. It is a deepened loss that we are mourning. Turn to us, Lord, and have pity on us, and give us the comfort that you alone can give, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."

"Amen," we said in quiet unison.

Edward squeezed me tight in his arms, sniffling in my shoulder. I knew he was hurting just like the rest of us, but he didn't want to show it.

I reached my trembling gloved hand up, to brush along his cheek.

I felt him exhale against me, and closed my eyes, as silent tears fell from my chin.

As heartbreaking and tragic as this moment was for me, it dawned on me that we were grieving _together_. This wasn't something that was between us, pushing our distance.

This was something that he was here for me. Three weeks really does make all the difference, because if he wasn't here to hold onto me... I would be a wreck.

Rosalie lost it when they closed the lid as tight as possible, locking and tightening the seal of the casket.

Jake pulled her into his arms and turned her away, so she could cry into his chest. Emmett reached his spare hand out and rubbed her back, while my mom rounded her shoulders and held her head high, despite her quivering chin and mascara running down her face.

Despite all of that, she looked really beautiful in her dress. It was fitting and black, knee-high. Created a nice cut from her shoulders to her collar bone. Her hair was pinned back in an _Audrey Hepburn_ classic style.

We all stepped closer to say our final goodbyes.

Emmett steadied my mom's trembling form, as she reached down and kissed the top of the casket, before resting her head on it.

"I love you so much Phillip," she cried in a whisper, "and you have touched my soul to the greatest extent... You... have been my reason for smiling and my reason for life, and... a-and... the world holds a lot less color for me now. B-but, I want you to know that I'm going to be okay. Okay? ...I'll be... I'll be strong, until... u-until I see you and Charlie on the other side, okay?"

She kissed it again, "You're my baby... my sweet... loving, hu-...husband."

She kissed it again, "...I hope you know how much I loved you, and how much of my heart you're taking with you... because you're taking all of it."

I couldn't take it anymore.

I turned around, releasing my tears into Edward's suit, as my mother continued her speech to him.

"...and I will continue to love you and reach out for your hand to hold, until my last dying breath. Go be with God, Phillip... He's asking for you to stand by his side... but... Wait for me up there, please. I love you...."

I could hear her sobbing heavily, the sounds echoing in my ears as she whispered, "P-please wait for me."

I felt shuffling move around, and knew they were helping my mom walk away.

I still couldn't stop crying.

More of our friends and his teammates said goodbye, but I remained put. My feet were planted into ground.

Edward's hands had warmth to them, and soothed my heartache that pounded from my chest to my back.

I could hear Rosalie breaking down beside me, and Jacob trying his best to help her.

I could hear wind blowing... branches swaying...

Listening to Rosalie crying to Jacob, blubbering, "No... I can't yet," made it worse.

"Okay," he whispered, "you don't have to..."

"Yes I do," she cried.

Edward squeezed me more, and I gripped the back of his shoulders, pushing my face into him. _Please God, make this all a dream... make this all a dream... wake me up, wake me up. Please don't let this be real. Tell me I'm dreaming... Tell me I'll wake up and be in Edward's bedroom... Tell me this isn't real. Please God... Please God..._

"Go show God how it's done up there," Carlisle said behind me, as he said his goodbye's to his best friend, "and make sure you do it well. I'll miss you buddy. You'll always be my best friend, no matter what. I love you man."

"I love you Phillip," Esme whispered through a sob, "please tell my baby Catherine Angel that I love her. Take care of her for me up there, will you? Be that loving, overprotective father... Make sure she's safe and happy... I'll miss you so much."

"Edward," I cried, clutching to the flaps on his suit.

"I know," he whispered.

_Overprotective father..._ that stabbed me in the heart. _That's what Phillip was being that night... just an overprotective, loving father... and I left. _

Of course, Esme didn't realize this, but it didn't make that any less easy to breathe with.

"Come on Rose," Jake whispered, "you're okay."

"Okay," she breathed behind me.

I listened to him fighting to keep her standing, their feet shuffling on the ground.

Then it was silent, only the feeling of air through our hair.

"Daddy..." Rosalie sobbed.

One word... I was crushed listening. My first thought was to cover my ears, but I knew I shouldn't.

I needed to listen. For this to be real, so I could accept it.

"Daddy," she tried again. "...I'll always be your bunny, and you'll always be my tortoise, okay?... I wish you were here to hold me," she said through muffled sobs. "...I wish you could tell me that it's going to be okay, because I don't know how to believe that now..."

She began to cry heavier, and I listened as paper was crinkled.

"I-I ...um... wrote you a letter last night. I couldn't sleep, but... I didn't want to leave anything out so I, um... w-well, it's all in here. All of my favorite thoughts of you that my brain could gather... like our sledding trip... or baking homemade pizza's... or the time we went to Wal-Mart at two in the morning on the day before school because I wanted a Cinderella lunchbox and you got it for me so I wouldn't have a..a bad first day..."

...More tears...

"...you're the greatest man I've ever known... a-and... I love you."

Then she muffled, "Jake... I can't..."

"Shhhh, I'm right beside you," he whispered.

"Oh God," she sobbed. "Please help me say goodbye to him."

I held onto Edward like my life depended on it.

Each word spoken by people around me made standing here in this cemetery that much more daunting.

After a few more minutes, Rosalie whispered, "Goodbye daddy..."

"Goodbye Phil," Jake whispered, "I'll miss you. You've been my second father and I will do my best to not let you down."

"Goodbye daddy," Rosalie whispered again. "Goodbye tortoise..."

Over Edward's shoulder, I watched through glossy tears as Jake supported her weight and slowly led her away.

More and more people said their farewells... until it was just me and Edward.

It took me a while to regain my balance, but eventually I did, and hung to Edward as we inched closer to the beautiful casket, topped with red, white, and black roses, and Rosalie's letter tucked beneath it.

Edward rubbed my back as I bent forward, resting my over-heated cheek onto the cold lid.

"I love you," I whispered, "...so much. And I'm... I'm sorry for the way I ran out... I'm sorry if I've..." I closed my eyes, trying to regather my voice, "if I've... disappointed you... it wasn't my intention and I regret running away from you. I'd never want to run away from you... you were my f-father, too, and I should have told you that more... I should have showed you more... showed you why I loved Edward."

Edward's hand trailed up the back of my neck, and he rubbed it, swiping tears from my eyes.

"And I know I can't take back what I've done, but... I did it with the best of you in my heart. I didn't... I tried not to look at what you said and take it to heart. I tried... to think of all the times you were there for me -- because you were always there for me, and... you were one of my best friends growing up... the one who always had my back when my mom didn't. Do you know that? Do you know that... you gave me a reason to regain my faith in men again? That you showed me that someone could love someone as their own flesh and blood, even if they weren't truly? ...You've always been my daddy, and... I'm so sorry that I doubted that."

"It's okay Bella," Edward whispered, stepping closer to me.

I nodded, brushing my hand along the casket as I kept my head planted, "Edward and I... we'll be happy. I promise. You won't have to worry about me, because..." I blinked my tears away, so I could look up toward Edward's profile, "...I'm in the best hands. He'll... keep me safe... me and our baby..."

Edward nodded, massaging me as I closed my eyes.

"...Please watch over us," I cried. "Please stay with us, always. Please continue to... be... o-over..."

Edward stepped behind me, hugging me tight.

I started sobbing, fighting back my gasps for oxygen, "... please... don't stop being my overprotective daddy now that you're not... here... because... I need you to be now more than e-ever... I need you to protect me and my family, because, that's what Edward and this baby is to me now... this is my family, and we need you... Please don't leave me..."

Edward's hands squeezed my arms, and I listened to him silently sniffling behind me.

"...Please tell me you forgive me," I whispered, as my body grew numb, and my tears suddenly stopped. "...please tell me you don't hate me for what I've done."

"He doesn't hate you Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, sending chills down my back, "he loves you more than _anything_. You, and Rosalie, and your mother... Don't you ever doubt that, love."

I nodded, still unable to release.

I turned my face to where I was crushing my nose against the lid, and breathed in slowly, "I gotta go now. I love you Phil. I... love you, Daddy. Tell my other dad that... I miss him too, will you? I love you guys."

Edward turned me as soon as I stood up, and I threw my arms around his neck.

He held me as tight as possible, for as long as I needed.

And when he bent over the casket, he whispered, "...You were _always _her father. Through my tests became your delivery, Phil... you proved to me how much you loved Bella, by fighting for her... not that I ever doubted you. You wanted what's best for her, as a caring parent does, and... I promise I'll be that for her, and you as well. I won't falter. ...I'll _never _falter... We love you, and we will miss you deeply."

I nodded, squeezing his hand against my clammy one.

As we walked toward the cars and gathering people hugging, he bent down, kissing the side of my head.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

After we arrived at Carlisle and Esme's house here in Forks, the rest of the gathering quickly followed.

Carlisle had the place catered full of warm, fresh food for Phil's friends and family, and everyone did their spews about how wonderful Phil was and how much he'll be missed.

...But it made no sense to me, because we all agreed that he was a good man.

So what was the sense of making people sadder? We should be smiling and thinking about the good things, not miserable...

I don't know... maybe I just refuse to deal with stuff like this.

_Maybe I suck. Who the fuck knows._

Phil was my second-father growing up. He was there to support me and teach me, when my dad was working, or drinking, or doing whatever he could to keep himself busy.

The job was my dad's life. Hell, he didn't even take a day off from being the wonderful cop of Fork's to come to Phil's funeral.

_What a prick._

I loosened my tie and untucked my shirt, walking out to the back porch.

Rosalie was standing there, staring off into the woods, her arms crossed over her chest.

I steadied my wine glass on the ledge and turned to face her, "...Are you all right?"

She blinked, then slowly turned her head to me, and nodded.

Her lips were parted; her eyes had a daze in it.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked, stepping closer to her, but not close enough to touch her side with my chest.

She shrugged, tilting her head to stare up at a tree in the distance.

"...Something good?"

"I'm thinking," she whispered, inhaling, "...that he's probably really disappointed in my actions lately."

"Why would he be?"

"Well... I bet, in Heaven, that God has a scroll with a list on it... of all the things me or Bella has done wrong... and Dad's counted them down one by one, shaking his head."

I chuckled, sticking my right hand in my pocket, "That'd be a fucked up thing for God to do, don't you think?"

"God _is _a man."

I smirked, because that shit was funny, "Yes, He is."

"And," she whispered, frowning, "I wish that I could have hugged him... and shown him I had something to be proud of for myself... like you told me the other night."

"Ro-"

"Because I don't have anything to say I've accomplished... not really."

"Sure you do, you've graduated, gone to college, didn't drop ou-"

"But what else?" she scoffed. "What else do I have to show for?"

I shrugged, "Whatever you want to show."

"That doesn't help, Jacob," she hissed.

"Well," I said, keeping my cool, "here's how I see it. You don't think you've got something to show? Then do something about it. Figure it out. That simple."

"Oh, it's that simple."

"It is."

"Mmhmm."

I swallowed down my wine, then set the empty glass back on the ledge, "Well... I'll leave you alone."

She grabbed my elbow as I turned to walk away, and stopped me, "Jake."

"Mmm?"

"Stay. I'm sorry..." she exhaled, "...I'm sorry."

I threw my right arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me, "Stay, huh?"

"Yes," she whispered, resting her cheek against my chest, "please stay."

I rubbed her arm and rested my chin on the top of her head, "I'll stay because it's you."

She chuckled, wiping her face with the back of her hand, "I feel special."

"You should... _blondie_."

"_Scruffy_," she replied back.

I squeezed her tight, "Touché"

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I stood in Edward's parents' kitchen, watching Jacob hold Rosalie in his arms out on the patio.

Half of it pissed me off, while the other half... found it as relief.

I sighed, flipping over my cell phone.

Two text messages, both from Heather. '_Are you doing okay_?' and '_Let me know when you get back from the funeral. I'm here if you need a friend_.'

_Ahhh, the OTHER one that got away..._

Heather and I were together on and off for a couple years. I last saw her a few months ago, when she dropped off my stuff from her house.

We'd been friends for what felt like ever, and decided one day to take it to the next step.

It was a relationship that was set on fire but schedules got in the way. She was the only girl, beside Rosalie, that I cared for and saw something in the relationship. But, like normal, I fucked it up. I think it had to do with the fact that her parents are religious fanatics who blamed me for 'corrupting their daughter' (yeah right). They said they didn't want her to date someone who was about to inherit a whole bunch of dance clubs that invoke drinking and sex. Like, what the fuck doesn't these days? I bet cartoons even provoke drinking and sex now...

Edward came up to me, and I grinned as I snapped back in the present, patting his back, "Hanging in there?"

"Doin' my best," he replied, pulling his suit jacket off. He kept his vest, tie, and collared shirt done up though.

"Me too," I said.

He took a swig of his beer, and tilted his bottle toward the door, "How do you feel about seeing that?"

"Rosalie and Jacob?"

"Yeah."

"Uh.... What do you think about it?"

"I don't know," Edward exhaled, shrugging his shoulders, "I'm kind of growing on Jacob."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah... despite his _'I'm trying to be a badass' _attitude he portrays... he's not _that _bad."

"Yeah... I just hope he doesn't carry any venereal diseases. That'd be bad."

"Dude," Edward chuckled, "if he had a venereal disease, you'd have it. You did sleep with her _after _he did."

"Oh," I said. "Oh yeahhh..."

"Plus you've had just about as many women he has..."

"True," I sighed.

"So stop being a one-sided dick."

"Can't help it," I replied, "it's so easy to rather want to punch him in the gut."

"Trust me, it doesn't solve anything."

"Alright, Oprah."

Edward laughed, taking another sip, "I'm just saying."

"Mmhmm. So, where's Bella?"

"She's lying down in my old bedroom."

"Morning sickness?"

"I don't know... I think she's just exhausted. Plus, six weeks in now, so... that's when exhaustion normally comes anyway."

"I can't believe you're going to be a fucking father," I said, "how weird."

"I know," he smirked, "it's going to be great though."

"You think?"

"Yeah... we'll handle it."

"Have you told your parents yet?"

"We plan to tell them and Renee later today."

"Uh," I said, looking at him, "do you think this is the best timing?"

He nodded, furrowing his brows, "They're together, you know? Plus, Bella and I have talked a lot these past couple days... we're going to buy a house together soon, and... I think she's going to see what Renee's plans are."

"Why's that?"

"She wants her to come stay with us for a while."

"In ya'll's new house?"

"Mmhmm."

"Hmm."

"We're going to get our finances and bills together here in the next couple days, after things wind down... and her first appointment is on Friday, so if she's feeling up for it, we'll start hunting for a place then."

"Jesus, how shit changes."

"Tell me about it. It never fucking ends."

"Do you think that's why God does this to us? Make us so stressed and fucking emotional and deal with all this shit? That way, by the time we're old, we're like _'please just take me out of here' _and don't care if we die?"

Edward laughed and shrugged his shoulders, "It's a good possibility."

"Well I want a refund."

He laughed harder, "Me too."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After all of the hugging, remorse, tears, sickness, and eating, I was exhausted.

Edward laid me in his bed and made sure to not let anyone bother me, unless it was Rosalie or my mom.

I've been in here for two hours now.

I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

My mom was now lying beside me, holding my hand. I didn't know when she got in here.

Edward must have helped her.

The sun was going down, shining on the white carpet through all of the windows.

Edward's bedroom looked just as it did when he left it... CDs and books everywhere still...

A picture of us framed behind his bed at Prom our junior year.

Me sitting on his lap, wearing my blue dress.

Him behind me in the chair, with his tux, arms wrapped around my waist, chin on my shoulder...

Kleenex's were strewn out between my mother and I, and her lashes were still wet.

But she was still... in her beautiful black dress... and she was the saddest woman with the prettiest face that I had ever seen in my life.

I squeezed her hand tightly.

I wanted to make sure she knew I was here for her.

Slowly, she opened her swollen eyes, and sought for mine.

"Hey mom," I choked out.

She blinked a few times, and then squeezed my hand back, before closing her eyes again, "What time is it?"

"It's around four or five, I think."

She nodded, taking a deep breath through her nose, "...Is everyone gone?"

"Everyone but us and Edward and Rosalie."

"Where did Carlisle and Esme and your friends go?"

"They'll be back. They're taking care of some things. Nothing for you to worry about."

I watched as her weakened hand slid down the covers, and grabbed the upside down picture frame of Phil that was beside her leg.

She hugged it to her chest, allowing a single tear to fall onto the mattress from her left eye, while the other tear from her right caught on the bridge of her nose.

I reached up, pulling the pin from the back of her head and letting her hair fall slowly.

"Bella," she whimpered, still not opening her eyes, "I miss him."

I shut my eyes, fighting back tears. It took me a few struggles to muster up the courage to speak without sounding weak, "I do too."

"In the end," she whispered, sniffling, "we all end up alone... life is so uncertain."

I nodded, sliding closer to her, "It's really hard..."

She sobbed, and then nodded, "You have no idea."

"I do," I said, placing my forehead to hers, "but you're not alone, mom. Don't think like that."

"I know I have you and Rosie, but..." she took a second to swallow, "...I'm more alone now than ever before... Have you heard the expression that '_a heart can't break twice in a lifetime without mending itself at least once'_?"

I shook my head.

"Well... I'm proof that a heart won't mend twice."

"Don't say that," I stroked her hair, "...it's going to be okay, mom. You're going to make it through this."

"Would you be able to make it if you lost Edward like this?"

I shut my eyes, as unstoppable salt and water shed from my eyelids, "I'm sorry but... I don't even want to think about that..."

"But..." she whispered, "...for me, just a question ...do you think you'd be able to?"

I shrugged, "I'd have to, wouldn't I?"

"There's a difference between _living _and plainly _existing_, Bella..."

"I know," I whispered, hugging her tight to me, "but I know that both my dad's would want you to _live_, mom. Not exist. In time, when you start to heal... they'd want that for all of us."

She sighed, squeezing the frame again, "...Even so..."

She never finished her sentence before drifting back to sleep.

I wasn't far behind her.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I opened my eyes and sat up, groaning because my neck was hurting.

I had been sitting outside on the patio all day and now the moon was up and crickets chirping.

My voice was almost all the way gone, and my heart was just as empty.

I missed my dad, but I couldn't talk about it anymore.

I didn't have the strength to.

Some people can talk and talk about their loved one's passing... while others refuse to talk about it and push themselves to accept it, and a few rare necessities just try to pretend the whole entire damn thing didn't happen, or happened a VERY long time ago.

I'm definitely not the first, and though I try to be the second... I'm more toward the third.

I just don't want to ache anymore... and it makes me ache even more _saying _that, because I feel like a bad person for wanting and begging to just get _past _this.

I brushed my hand over my stomach, feeling queasy.

My emotional ups and downs these past few days haven't done anything good for my bowels.

And I still felt really bad for throwing up on Jacob.

Finding my sea legs, I stood from the chair and headed back inside. Edward was sprawled out a jumbo recliner. Carlisle and Esme were in the kitchen drinking tea and talking amongst themselves. Alice and Jasper were lying on the couch. Emmett was sitting on the love seat with a blonde I didn't know, but not on top of her. They had a fair distance. Jacob was lying on the floor, with pillows under his head and around him.

They were all watching television in silence.

I gave everyone a small wave, and crawled on the ground next to Jacob. "Is this spot on the carpet taken?"

He shook his head and moved his pillow half-way from his head, so that I could share it.

I smiled weakly, and lay down beside him.

He reached over and grabbed a blanket from the wicker basket beside him, and threw it over my skirt, "Don't want your ass hanging out."

I smirked and shook my head, "Don't want that."

"How ya feelin'?"

I shrugged, quietly responding back with, "However I'm supposed to feel, I guess. I don't really know."

"Good of an answer as any," he replied, sliding his arm beneath my neck.

I slid closer, throwing my right leg over his left, whispering, "Who's that girl with Emmett?"

He tensed briefly, then rolled his eyes, "Her name is Heather or something," he whispered. "She just got here an hour ago."

"But who _is _she?"

"His ex slash friend, I guess. Who knows? It's Emmett."

"She's his ex?"

"Mmhmm."

I scoffed, pulling the covers over my shoulders for more warmth, "It's kind of shitty of him to bring his ex to his _other _ex-girlfriend's father's burial day, don't you think?"

"He said he was uncomfortable with it but I guess Carlisle told him to invite her for dinner. She called stating she was alone... I'm not sure what happened exactly, don't care. I guess Carlisle talked him into it."

"Still," I whispered.

"Are you upset he's with a girl?"

I frowned and shook my head, "Not as much as I should be... that's really bad isn't it?"

"All in the way you look at it, I guess."

"How do you look at it?"

He turned and looked down at me, whispering, "...I'd say you're making progress."

We watched '_My Best Friend's Wedding' _with _Julia Roberts _in silence... on occasion, you'd hear Jasper groaning about the chic-flick, and Alice elbowing him in the ribs saying it was her turn to pick and he'd have to live with it...

Every once in a while, I'd drift off, laying wrapped up in Jake's arm... but then I'd hear someone sneeze, or Emmett talking to the blonde chic beside him, and I'd pop my eyes back open.

Bella called for Edward, and he snapped awake from his nap, running in there.

I nuzzled against Jake's shirt, trying to find more body heat.

"You better not be drooling on me," he said teasingly.

"I am," I replied, licking my lips.

"Well then make sure you save some of that lubrication for me later, that way I can bottle it up and use it at my own convenience."

I bit my lip, and giggled, despite whether or not I thought it was right to be laughing though I was heartbroken... but I couldn't help it, "You're such a pervert."

He pulled me half-way over him, and kissed the top of my head.

I closed my eyes when he did this, because... well, this wasn't normally what we did... but I liked it. A lot.

I inhaled his scent, burying my face in his chest. I didn't want him to let go of me and move me back to his side. And I wasn't sure why...

_I shouldn't let myself get close to him like this. I shouldn't lead myself on._

_He's just being the good friend._

_He doesn't know how you feel, and can't possibly feel the same, even if he did know._

I listened as the Heather girl giggled over something Emmett was whispering to her... a joke, I think... and I pushed my face deeper into Jake's shirt. _Bitch was annoying me and it wasn't because I was jealous._

He brushed my long hair off my neck, and began to rub my neck... and, regardless of what I told myself, I basked in it...

"Jake," I whispered, "...that feels really good."

"Mmmm..."

"...Don't stop," I giggled lightheartedly.

He stretched beneath me as he continued his magic hands, "I can get used to you telling me that."

"Stop fornicating on the floor," Alice joked, lightening the mood.

I threw a pillow at her, but didn't look up to see where it hit her at. But I heard it make contact.

"Wench," she hissed at me.

"Whore."

"Beyotch."

"Slutbag."

"Slutbag number _two_."

I shook my head, smiling against Jake's shirt, "This isn't right... I shouldn't be joking around..."

"This is exactly what you should be doing," Emmett said to my right. "Don't get yourself down for smiling."

"Yeah," Jake whispered as I moved back to his side and snuggled against him, "Phil'd want you to smile."

I disagreed, "It's not right."

Edward walked in the living room, holding Bella's hand. His collared shirt was untucked, his tie hanging from his neck, while her dress was still on.

She looked like she had just been crying.

"Mom, dad, everyone... can you join Bella and me in the living room? Renee will be here in a moment."

"Sure Edward," Carlisle said, setting his cup on the counter. "We'll be right there."

"Thank you."

I looked up at my sister, who gave me her best smile she had available, and I forced one back.

This could get interesting.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I held Edward's hand between both of mine.

I wasn't for sure if this was the best time or not to be doing this to everyone... but I also figured that death crossing us in the face makes us realize how short life really is.

We have to take the opportunities when they come, and not overlook them.

Edward and I waited until everyone shuffled around the living room, taking their seats.

I tried not to focus on any particular person.

"First of all," Edward exhaled, squeezing my hand genuinely, "Bella and I wanted to... apologize, for the way that we handled the situation this past week. We weren't prepared for the accusations, and we reacted... unfavorably and defensive, and that was no way to portray to you that we have matured, both individually, and as a couple."

"Edward, we hold no judgments," Esme said softly. "We were all in the wrong. All of us."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed.

Renee smiled weakly at me, but it was enough.

"But," Edward said, looking down to me and smiling warmly, "we also wanted to tell you guys, while we have you all here, that we love you all very much. No matter... how ridiculous our conflicts and disagreements are... we want to be there for the three of you, as you have been for us growing up... because we've both discussed that there's been some rough times that we wouldn't have made it through without our parents. We're very grateful to have you in our lives, sticking by us no matter... how low we've dipped... and you all know we've drowned pretty far at times..."

Renee sobbed, but reached out, grabbing one of my hands, and stroking her thumb against the back of my hand.

I squeezed Edward tighter, trying to stay calm and not cry. I knew what she was thinking... about my step-dad, and my real dad... and how they were both there for me and us as a couple, and now neither are here...

But I quickly kept myself in check and in the present, because what we had needed to be said.

I smiled up to Edward reassuringly, making sure he knew that I supported our decision to speak up.

He smiled back, before pulling me closer to him, "We want you guys to know that we've... worked through a lot of our most harboring issues, and are balancing out the remaining that we haven't reached yet... and through our struggles, not only have Bella and I fallen in love for each other all over again... but this love has grown to pure, undeniable, _truth_..."

He stopped speaking so he could pull me beneath his arm, and I wrapped both of mine around his waist, "You see... Bella is _home _to me..."

I closed my eyes and smiled, thanking God for keeping him in my life... at _least _him....

"And you are to me," I whispered back.

He kissed me on the side of my head, rubbing my arm.

"We," Edward said, looking tenderly around our remaining family and group of friends, "would love to see if we could push aside the boundaries that have burdened all of us. We also... would like to ask for your blessing... because Bella and I are engaged to be married, and we won't be able to go through with it contently, without our family by our side."

I held my breath as Esme gasped, preparing for an emotional blow-out.

My mom tensed, while Carlisle nodded and grinned... then Esme shot off the arm of the chair she was sharing with Carlisle, and ran up to us, hugging me as tight as possible.

"Yes," she cried in my ear, sobbing, "Yes, yes... this is a _good _thing... of course you have our blessing!"

She pulled away, so she could hug Edward and I at the same time, "We are _all _so sorry... all of us."

We held her and hugged her with all our might. I didn't want to let her go.

When she finally released us and wiped her face, Edward and Carlisle shook hands and Carlisle hugged me.

Then Esme said through sniffles, "It was just the other day, after all you kids left the cabin... that Phil came home from the hotel he was staying at, sat the three of us down and apologized to us for his actions... It was Phil who woke us up... told us that we had been acting more childish than all you kids... He even said that he was the most immature in handling this... he wondered if... if you would be able to forgive him..."

"We do," Edward and I said at the same time, nodding.

"It was all of us."

"And," Carlisle began, rubbing my arms, "we knew all along that Edward wasn't going to be happy unless it was with you, Bella... We grew _accustomed _to Tanya, because she was very different from you... and we thought that's what Edward needed... a clean break. But, if we hadn't been so stubborn and protective, and had truly opened our eyes up wide, we have seen what was right in front of us..."

There was silence for a moment.

"Which was?" Edward asked.

Carlisle smiled proudly at Edward, stepping to him, "...That your smile faded the day that you and Bella slipped out of each other's lives... and never returned _naturally _until the day the two of you fused back together."

Edward looked down to me, and smiled crookedly, "That's true."

I grinned back up at him, swiping away my tears.

Then I turned toward the sofa, and knelt down toward my mom, who was gripping mine and Rosalie's hands tight.

I pulled in my upper lip, inhaled through my nose, and lifted my mom's chin, "Mom," I whispered hesitantly.

She smiled, as more tears fell from her eyes.

"I'm sorry that we're telling you this now, but we felt it was nec-"

"I'm so proud of you," she whispered.

"W... what?" I gasped.

She nodded, swallowing gulps of air, "I am... The one thing that Phillip always told you from day one was... _to fight as hard as you can until your dying breath for what you believe in, Isabella_..."

She swiped her tears, squeezing my hands tight, "...and you believe in _true love_. We would never, ever be disappointed in you for this... _Stunned_, yes... and perhaps overprotective and shouty and dramatic, but never _honestly _upset... because you took our guidance, you did as we taught, and you learned that through strength comes triumph... Yours and Edward's."

I nodded, sniffling, "Edward makes me so happy mom... I just... I wish Phil could have seen that."

"Oh, silly girl," she brushed my cheek with her warm hand, "...he knows. He's always known."

I looked down, watching tears fall to the hardwood floor. My throat hurt so badly.

"Edward's going to protect me mama," I vowed quietly. "He's going to keep me safe... I know it."

"I've never doubted that he would," she whimpered, and I felt her tug Edward down to his knees in front of her, and beside me. "I know how much this man right here loves you, my beautiful daughter... I see... t-the way that... he looks at you. The way he holds onto you... wants you near him, no matter what. The two of you have a one of a kind love."

Edward reached out, and hugged my mom tenderly. She gripped the back of his shoulders, crying into his shirt. I rubbed his back and wiped more tears with the back of my hand, while he brushed the back of her hair with his fingers.

"You were always my son," Renee whispered through her sobs. "_Always_, Edward."

I lost it... hearing her say that. My emotions were so crazy, from the events and the pregnancy and the revelations...

"You've always been my mom," Edward whispered back softly, his voice cracking. It sounded like he was trying to stay strong.

Rosalie bent down, crying with and hugging me.

She held onto me, I held onto my mom's hand and Edward's back, and Edward held onto my mother, while our friends whispered words of encouragement, and Carlisle and Esme touched both Edward and my back.

I took a deep breath, relaxing my tense muscles.

It felt good to just breathe... and be surrounded by support, for once.

"There's more," Edward whispered, pulling away and looking at my mom's face.

"Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Okay," she whispered, looking from one of us to the other and back. "...What is it?"

Edward looked at me and I smiled, before turning back to see Esme and Carlisle, then forward to face my mom again.

"Edward and I," I said, biting my lip to not smile too much and give it away, "...we're pregnant."

"_What_?" was the gasp of unison, from the three of them, as well as a few of our friends and family that was still here who didn't know.

I folded my hand in a fist and smiled into the middle of it, as Edward pulled me to him.

Before I could say anything else, my mom pulled me into her arms, almost strangling me from her grip.

I could hear Esme and Carlisle questioning Edward about the details... but mostly I just listened to our friends gossiping, and my mom sobbing in my ear.

"This baby," she said, hugging me tighter, "is going to have the best two... g-guardian angels... ever."

I nodded, crying along with her.

"I'm so happy that you two have found each other... and now you're having a baby?!" she whispered in shock, "...This is a miracle."

"A _baby_?" Esme questioned ecstatically... Then I heard muffles from her hugging Edward tightly. "Oh, Edward, really?"

"Yes," he chuckled, hugging her back.

I fought the cracks in my knees and rose to my feet, turning to face Carlisle.

He looked stunned, and it made my stomach flip.

"I, uh, realize that this is sudden," I stammered to explain while I fidgeted with my hands, "and that you're most likely disappointed, because you and Esme were so young when you had Edward and wanted more for him growing up, and then we go get back together and this happens, and -"

"You're not us," he said, cutting me off.

I bit my lip, looking up at him.

And his smile turned from slight... to genuine... to proud.

He pulled me in his arms, and I hugged him tight. "You're not us," he whispered in my ear, fighting back his own tears. "You'll do this right... You'll have your support behind you, all the way... If this is what the two of you want... then we're all going to make this work. We're all going to be a family and help you guys out as much as we possibly can."

When I inhaled a sigh of relief, I absorbed his smell... he smelt like Phil, and it soothed me.

Without my consent, more tears shed as I thought and pretended that I was hugging my step-dad while I was hugging him.

"Phil would be so happy Bella," he whispered, letting me cry on him. "He'd just want you to be happy... that's what would make him smile."

I nodded, clutching his shirt.

"And I'm happy too, okay? Don't doubt that... Esme and I are very sorry for how we acted and we want you two together... We know it's better this way."

"It is," I muffled into the white fabric.

"If it's better, then it's right, okay? We'll make it through this. This baby... it's going to be surrounded by a family that loves it."

"That's all I want," I whimpered. "That's all I want..."

**

* * *

**

**The Next Night**

**

* * *

**

**BellaPOV (continued)**

The elevator dinged, and I dragged my feet onto the hardwood floors of Edward's place.

I was exhausted.

It's been a long four days.

Spendor got to me before Cora did, and I bent down, scooping him up in my arms.

Edward rubbed my back and went to go get their chains.

I looked down to Spendor's face, and he wasn't wagging his tail or anything... but it felt like he knew I was still sad.

I hugged him tight, sniffling into his soft hair.

And all he did was rest his chin on my shoulder, his face in the crook of my neck.

I held myself together, breathing in slowly through the nose and out the mouth.

He whimpered a few times, and I stroked his hair.

"I miss him, Spendor." I whispered.

He whimpered more.

_He knew._

He definitely knew I was sad...

I dropped my purse by the couch and collapsed down, holding him in my arms.

He licked me a few times, but then rested his head on my breast and closed his eyes.

All he wanted was for someone to come home and love on him...

"Well, I don't need to take the dogs out," Edward said, dropping the chains on the counter, "I guess Tommy already did it. He left a note, and flowers for you, by the table."

"That was sweet of him," I replied softly.

"He deserves a raise, that's for sure."

"I agree."

Cora followed Edward around like his shadow, while he shuffled through the kitchen, pouring us drinks, putting dishes in the sink...

"I'm glad to see you too, baby," he said, patting her head, before handing me my glass.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome love."

He sat beside me and put his feet up on the coffee table, stretching out and sighing.

I inhaled Spendor's scent for a moment, and then fell to my left, putting my head on his lap.

I wondered what Rosalie was doing, now that she was sleeping at Jake's for the night... she was still a little scared of Cady, his wolf he has that's house-trained, though she stayed outside. Jacob had twelve acres behind his house. He lived on the opposite side of town from us. The girl was as sweet as can be, and never, ever even so much as got upset, but Rose was still weary. But she didn't want to be in our house... too many memories. Same with me. My mom has been staying with Esme and Carlisle... she said she really needed her best friends, and Rose and I understood.

Alice was staying over at Jasper's for the night, and Emmett was with his dad, helping him with Rainn.

I closed my eyes, blowing a puff of air from my cheeks.

"Are you exhausted?" he asked, dipping his thumb below my t-shirt and stroking my belly.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Me too..."

Cora sat beside the couch, resting her head beside mine, on Edward's knee.

She blinked up at me, and stayed put.

It got quiet. Comfortable, but quiet.

"I think I want a boy," he said, after a few moments of silence. "...we could get him Tonka trucks, and building blocks... Lego's... and I could teach him how to play tee-ball..."

"Yeah?" I bit my lip.

"Mmmhmm... wanna know what else?"

"What's that?"

"I could also teach him how to love someone the way that I love you..."

I smiled, closing my eyes.

"How about you?"

"Uh... today, I'm rooting for a girl."

"Why's that?"

I shrugged, fighting back tears as I spoke, "I just... can't wait to see you be a good daddy to her... See how you'll react when she falls in love. See if she'd have straight or curly hair..."

"Our daughter will never be allowed to fall in love or have boyfriends. I've done decided."

"Edward," I sniffled, then laughed, "everyone falls in love."

"Not my girl."

I giggled, shaking my head, "It's uncontrollable."

"Nope. Not gonna happen."

"And what are you going to do if she does?"

"Solitaire. That's my first decision... iron gates, bars on windows, and little beeper that's attached to her, and goes off whenever some dick head puts his hands on her. I'd be there in two seconds to fuck that little boy's day _up_... He'd hate me, that's for sure."

I rubbed my face, smiling into my palm, "You're crazy."

"I'm telling you the truth... On her first date, I'm going to be sitting in my boxers on the couch, with a 55 in one hand, a beer in the other, and a big knife on the coffee table, interrogating the poor bastard. He just better pray now that he doesn't slip up when I ask him questions... one false answer boy... it's over."

"And what if we have a boy? Are you going to be this overprotective with our son?"

"Yes."

"No you won't."

"The hell if I won't. If he even _thinks _about getting himself wet, I'm going to find the most horrendous, self-destructive video on women and show it to him, so he's frightened and won't _want _to date."

"Whatever. You'll be slapping him on the back and telling him to 'wrap it before you tap it', then congratulate him when he comes home and tells you he did it."

"Yeah," he sighed, petting the top of Cora's head with his free hand, "you're probably right... but still. I might not let him."

"Sure you won't."

He continued to rub my stomach and I shut my eyes.

We didn't turn on the television.

We didn't listen to music.

We just sat there, relying on each other for the comfort that we both longed for.

I'd wipe my tears when they came.

He'd pay attention to Cora, and I to Spendor.

It was both upsetting to know that it took this to happen, for us to get close to the parents again.

But hell... I didn't even care anymore.

I just wanted to be happy and in love.

After a few hours, we decided it was time to turn in.

Edward helped me to my feet, and the large pillow behind Spendor, which was on my lap, fell and knocked over a stack of magazines and books, and broke his water glass in the process.

"Sorry," I said, kneeling down to pick them up, "I was distracted."

:"It's okay love," he bent down to scoop the glass up before the dogs got to it.

"I was thinking about Phil."

"Yeah?" he said. "What about?"

I shrugged my shoulders, pulling Alice's US Weekly magazine from Spendor's teeth, and ripping out a few pages on accident, "I just wish I knew whether or not if he is still upset with me for... running out that night. For not choosing him..."

"Bella, I'm sure he does."

"I don't know... I can't stop thinking about it."

I stacked the books on the table, and bent down, helping Edward pick up the torn pieces.

Then I stretched out my arms, yawning.

Edward chuckled, glancing at a piece of paper he held.

"What?" I asked, pushing Spendor away with my foot from licking the water mess on the carpet.

"Well," he said, "grinning over at me... I guess you have your answer."

"What are you talking about?"

He licked his lips, handing the small, torn piece over to me.

I furrowed my brows, turning it over to read it.

Then I gasped, covering my mouth.

Tears streamed down, rolling between each of my fingers.

I couldn't breathe.

The words blurred through my tears, but I could still see them...

In black bold letters were three words, "**I FORGIVE YO**", but missing the "u" from the tear.

But I knew it was fate.

It _had _to be fate...

I hugged the paper to my chest, closing my eyes.

I just wanted to see him again...

I wanted to hug him and tell him I was sorry for what I said and did...

And most of all I wanted to tell him...

"...I forgive you too, daddy," I whispered.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 24!  
**

**-- Baby Names: Still narrowing down the girls. What I've done is rounded up each and every vote, taken the ones with the highest votes, and am placing them here. You guys have all given wonderful suggestions, and I thank you for that! Here are the top contenders! **

**So ****PICK ONE FIRST & ONE MIDDLE NAME**** that you like the ****VERY BEST**** and put it at the bottom of your review!! Mix & Match, but only list ONE full name. ;)  
(Please don't give other name suggestions besides the ones listed below -- it can be confusing!)  
**

**Here we go:****  
Elizabeth (Lizzy, Elle, Elie, Beth)  
Grace (Gracey)  
Lillian (Lilly, Ili)  
Sophia  
Addison (Addy)  
Olivia  
Charlie/Charlee/Charley  
Carlee/Carlie  
Ava / Eva  
Peyton  
Abigail (Abby, Abi, Gail)  
Anabelle (Belle)  
Evelyn (Eve, Evey)  
Hope**

**No, I haven't voted, because I don't feel it's fair to put my input in... but I do love these finalists!**

**( After narrowing down the girls, we move onto the boys selections from your previous suggestions!! )  
**

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**

**Reviews are better than finding a patch of light in a forgotten corner :D**


	25. Decoding Discoveries

**PLEASE REVIEW!  
****Special Thanks to **Katie **[Kwizbit], my amazing beta, for my Twilight candy hearts!! ;) I love them so! And for your awesome dedication to TEF, of course!  
To my **Readers**, thank you for being so involved with this story. From your general input, your advice, your concerns, you never fail to motivate me. ILYA!  
A LOT of you have shared with me on your last set of reviews about losing loved ones and I wish I could respond to each and every single one of you. I would give you all hugs and tell you I know how it feels.  
I believe that loss, like love, is one of the few things that are universal. There's not one person who hasn't lost someone. You are not alone. :D

Thank you to my readers for the reviews on the last chapter. Over 400 for _one _chapter? That's craziness and I am so happy you guys are sticking by me and supporting this story. I call this story my little seed... All I did was plant it. You guys are the water that keeps this thing growing and growing, and I am in debt to you all!! Keep it up!! ILY!

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Two weeks have passed since the funeral. (Bella is 8 weeks+ into term) Jake/Rose gets more complicated (and hilarious), Edward & Bella have their first doctor's visit (it'd been delayed since the news) and goes house hunting with Renee. Emmett has issues with his father and runs into his ex. Alice begins to free-fall into bad habits, and Jasper starts to become aware of them.  
Heather and Aimee and Colton come to play, as well as Jake's wolf Cady. A lot of pictures for this chapter in profile, as always.  
(I even made some Rose/Jake manip arts to see how they'd look and posted them, if you wanna check them out and let me know what you think!!)**

*************** Warning: Some of this is NSFW and part of this is very sensitive to the heart. Discretion advised. **_** *le sigh* **_*****************_**  
**_**  
Also, I will start putting ultrasound pics in but bc I don't want to give it away to new readers, it will be under wording like, "surprise #8" or "surprise #16" (for 8 and 16 weeks, so on...).  
(A/N for those of you who can't find the picture of Bella's ring, it's under "a moment of clarity" by chapter 21 on profile.)**

**A/N -- Shoutout's to my friends/readers over Twilighted(dot)NET. You will be receiving ****sneak peeks**** of upcoming chapters from now on, as my gratitude for you being members!!  
If anyone else wants to join, there's a link in my profile, as well as on the bottom of each chapter!**

**PLEASE EXCUSE ANY ERRORS IN THIS STORY.  
I'm learning as I go, and anything related to 'baby talk' has been from researching sites and reading books. Forgive the small stuff. ;)**

**

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**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"With life on hold, say goodbye to old habits of circumstance.  
The way you know me, seems to show me why I'm glad that we took this chance.  
...I've fallen short of grace, each time I see your face. You make me feel so free.  
But I can't comprise, and I won't compromise all you've done for me.  
I know it seems like a dream... Please, God, don't take this away from me.  
The way you love me all the same, I'm amazed at who you are.  
This moment in my life, it's like I've never loved before.  
The way you show me with a kiss, how much you care...  
You are love. You are life.  
You are peace of mind." **_

_**Axium (David Cook's old band), "Peace of Mind"**_

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Decoding Discoveries**

**JacobPOV**

My back felt like it was burning. My neck was turning into rusting metal. And don't even get me started on my fucking legs.

All of this because I'm trying to squeeze my six foot-two inch frame into a loveseat and sleep.

_Why?_ Because Rosalie has been staying over here at my house, since the incident. And I put her ass in my bed.

My cell phone started to buzz around on my coffee table. I groaned, slapping it off the thing on accident. I reached down to pick it off the ground, and blinked, trying to read the screen. It was Colton. My buddy slash work partner. "Hello," I rubbed my eyes.

"Dude, where the fuck are you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're supposed to be at the meeting today."

"I thought it was Monday. I don't work today, it's Friday."

"No, you still have to show, dude. It's mandatory. You better get here."

"Christ. All right, I'll be there soon." I hung the phone up and attempted to stretch out, not making it very far. _Fucking couch._

"Good morning sunshine."

Startled, I sat up, gasping.

Rosalie sat counter-clockwise from me, in the first of my two leather recliners. Wearing one of my t-shirts she apparently stole, and rainbow pajama pants. Her hair looked like a haystack.

"Dammit," I cursed, shaking my head, "don't freak me out until I at least smoke a cigarette. My body can't take it."

"Sorry," she giggled lightly.

"What the fuck are you doing up? It's like... seven-something."

"I was going to ask you if you'd come sleep with me."

"No."

"Why _not_?" she hissed, her happy face gone. "Jake, we shared a room in the cabin, most days."

"That's different," I scratched my head and sat up, tripping over a pillow that had been knocked off my couch.

"How is it different?"

"This is my fucking house." _And because the temptation would be too much._

"My point exactly. You should be sleeping in _your _bed..." her voice trailed off, as her eyes skimmed down my body.

"What?" I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

Her lips formed into a sinful grin, and her teeth dragged along her bottom lip.

"Spit it out, woman."

She cleared her throat, nodding toward me.

I looked down, and noticed I was sporting massive wood through my black pajamas. _Shit_. I threw a pillow at her, messing up her haystack more. "Shut the fuck up."

"Aww Jake, I knew that I was hot in the morning, but really, you shouldn't have..."

"Eat a dick."

She giggled, following me into the kitchen, "Well, I wouldn't have to search very far to find one standing at attention."

"Eat two dicks then."

"I guess I'd have to use you... and my vibrator."

I about dropped the glass pitcher of milk, as I turned, standing inside the open fridge.

She perched herself up on one of my barstools, running one of her manicured fingers along my blue countertop, smirking devilishly.

"You have your vibrator here at my house?"

She nodded, "Duh. I've been here two weeks."

I took a step forward, "Have you been using it in my bed?"

She bit her lip, suddenly looking away.

"Rose."

"_Okay_," she said, covering her face, "maybe once-twice. Twice."

I scoffed, mentally cursing myself for asking a question that tested my patience even more, "You've got to be kidding me."

"I'm sorry!" she blushed. "But... I mean, I've been here hanging out with you, and you won't even barely hug me for some reason now, and... I mean, I was lonely, and you've been running so many errands and don't have time for your best friend, and I'm all alone in this house and missing that guy/girl interaction... don't hate me. I'm single."

I started my coffee pot and returned the milk to the fridge, before facing her again, "Okay, so here's the deal... I can handle you putting fucking scented candles all over my house, like you've done. I can handle _Cosmo _on the back of my toilet -- though I'd like to pretend you never, fucking ever, have to take a crap. I can handle _Mint Leaf Tea_ being in my fridge, though I fucking hate the shit, and I can handle you being terrified of my Cady... But... I can not, and I do mean _not_, handle you being naked in my bed getting off."

"Why not? It's normal for people to do it."

I closed my eyes, trying to ignore the tempting flashes of her and that toy in my head. "For my sanity, please... use the shower."

"I'm not _disgusting_. I've washed the sheets since then."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"I'm sure you do it."

"Of course, it's my bed. But still not what I am talking about."

"Why?"

I licked my lips, leaning my elbows on the counter across from her. _Because I can't stand the idea of loving you and not being able to do anything about it... so I definitely won't be able to handle you fucking naked having orgasms without me in my bedroom_. "Because... uh... just _please_."

She chewed the inside of her cheek, and then nodded, "Fine. Will you come sleep beside me then?"

"Can't. I have to go to a meeting."

"You're not supposed to work until Monday."

"Mandatory meeting."

"Ugh," she pouted, frowning. "_Jake_."

"What? It's not my fucking choice." _And because sleeping beside you would be too hard now._

"But... you're never here. Between hanging out with all your guy friends, to cell phone meetings... you have no time for me."

I walked around, messing up the top of her hair with my hand, "I'm not doing it on purpose. I have to go take a shower."

She started to say something, but quickly shut her mouth, and nodded, frowning, "Okay."

I licked my lips and passed by her, before I picked her up and threw her in that shower with me.

It sucks being in love with your best friend.

Especially one that looks that beautiful and is oblivious to your feelings.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I dragged my feet in the kitchen lazily, to find Bella in my t-shirt and boxers, and Alice in one of Jazz's clothes, and white pajama bottoms.

They were bouncing around, clinking dishes and cooking something that smelled like heaven.

"Mornin'," I grumbled, sliding my hand around the curve of Bella's ass.

She turned her head sideways to see me.

I pressed myself into the back of her body, and kissed her shoulder.

She grinned, "Good morning sexy."

I smirked, turning my face to the right, and rubbing my nose along her neck, "What are you doing in here?"

"Making you sunny-side eggs, sausage, and toast. There is a fresh pot of coffee brewing, and Alice made some orange juice."

"Thank you girls," I whispered, kissing her skin. "Did you sleep well?"

She shrugged, biting her lip as she adjusted the heat on the stove, "Not really... I'm nervous."

I stuck my hands inside my over-sized shirt, ran them along her silky breasts, and down toward her stomach, "Don't be nervous. You should be excited."

"But... this makes it real. Today, I mean."

I placed my bottom lip on her lobe, rubbing along it, "I know."

"And... that scares the living daylights out of me."

"Edward, you're like totally feeling her up in front of me here."

"Does it turn you on Alice?"

"Yeah... a little," she admitted, pouring herself a cup of coffee.

I grinned, continuing my feel as I kept my right hand on her stomach and put my left one back over Bella's aware breast, "Don't be scared, love. I guarantee you that... when you see it, you're going to be overwhelmed, feeling every other emotion available... but not scared." I kneaded her breasts, and they were definitely rounder than before... a true first sign of show symptoms, "you smell so good right now."

"Edward, I can't cook when you're doing that," she blushed.

I did it more, "I'm sorry. You're so beautiful."

"_Okay_... I'm going to go wake up Jazz and leave you two alone to her... _cooking_." Alice tossed the oven mitt on the counter, and walked out.

I twirled Bella's body around, and lifted her on the counter beside the stove, giving her a kiss.

"Mmm," she smiled against my lips, "you smell like Colgate."

"Thanks," I said, sucking in her bottom lip.

The heels of her feet found my ass, and she pushed me into her. Her fingers found my hair, and she tugged lightly, pulling her mouth from me, "You are too hard to resist... we better stop."

"Why?" I asked, licking her neck.

"Because... can we have sex if I have a doctor's appointment?"

I groaned, pulling away and pouting, "Fuck. No. She'll probably want to do a pap today."

"Wow," she said, throwing her arms around my neck, "it's been two days now... Has Edward Cullen ever gone that long without sex?"

"I can always do it in the butt," I smiled, raising my left eyebrow suggestively.

"Over my dead body."

I chuckled as she pushed me away and hopped off the counter, resuming her cooking, "What happened to that _'oh, Edward, I want you to do everything with me_' that you were saying a couple weeks back?"

"You were drunk."

"So you didn't mean it?"

She smiled toward the pan, refusing to look at me, "We're not going to do _that_."

Arrogantly, I leaned in, pressing my lips delicately against her ear, "You don't know what you're missing..."

"Yes I do," she said, turning her face so I couldn't do that anymore, "rectal pain. I won't be missing that."

"Trust me," I said, rubbing the small of her back, "by the time we got into it, you wouldn't be moaning about any pain."

"Like hell I wouldn't."

"I promise."

"Edward," she said, smiling as she turned to face me, "the day you let me stick a shampoo bottle there on you, is when I'll let you do it. Okay?"

I peeled a banana, and hopped on the counter, keeping my cocky expression, "How about you let me do it when we get married?"

"No."

"What if I get you really dru-... _Shit_. I can't get you drunk. Uh..."

She giggled, "No."

"Bella, I swear, we can work on it, and take our time and... I mean, come on. You'll really like it."

"Edward Anthony, are you _begging_?"

"Yes," I frowned, giving her puppy eyes.

She stood between my legs and rose on her tiptoes, pressing her lips to my cheek, "The answer is still no."

Then she stole a bite of my banana.

"I really dislike you sometimes," I replied, pouting like a two-year old.

"Ohhh, wah," she said. "Go get a shower. You're starting to smell."

I lifted my arm, smelling my skin, "I do not. I take two showers a day."

She giggled, flipping my egg over, "I know, but you're too sexy, and if you stay in this kitchen, we may not be having a doctor's appointment today."

I hopped off the counter, smacking her ass and handing her the rest of my banana, "Eat this. You need the protein... and the gag-reflux practice."

She turned, swatting my chest, "Go away!"

"I'm going!"

"Now!"

"Bite me!"

She ran after me, chasing me around the living room, "Oh, don't tempt me, asshole!"

I laughed, holding my hands up, "Okay, okay, I take it back!"

She threw her hands on her hips, as I stayed on the opposite side of the couch.

"Edward, I _will _burn your food."

"I'm sorry."

"Say it like you mean it."

I eyed her down, but couldn't hide my smile, "I'm sorry, my loving, beautiful, sweet, glowing-because-she's-pregnant, fiancée."

She smirked, "I forgive you."

Then she twirled and walked back in the kitchen, "I always win. You'd better get used to it."

"Yeah, yeah," I said, flicking on the television. "Whatever."

"What was that?"

"Nothing honey," I smirked, sitting on the couch, "I love you."

"Mmhmm. That's what I thought. Keep it up mister, and you'll find a surprise in your toast."

I bit my lip and turned to see her. She was so cute. "Bella, I really do love you."

She stopped cooking, and looked over at me, tilting her head, "I love you back, silly."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

"UNF!" was the sound I made, as Alice jumped on top of me.

"Wake up!"

"Oh, dear God, Alice," I lifted her tiny body up, setting her beside me, "you about knocked the wind out of me."

"Ugh," she scowled with a frown, "...What are you saying, that I'm fat? Bec-"

"No, but... knee to windpipe... you know... it happens." I rubbed my chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I rolled over, pulling her into me to hug her tightly, "I'm okay."

She stroked through my hair, forcing a smile, "Bella and I made you guys breakfast."

"You did? What did you make?"

"Eggs, toast, sausage..."

"Mmmm, sounds delicious."

"Good," she sighed, burying her face into the pillow.

"Why are you up this early?"

"Bella has a doctor's appointment this morning, and I said I'd help her make breakfast because she was so nervous... and I woke you up, because you normally go running about this time, right?"

I smirked, "You remembered."

"Yep. I'm the best girlfriend ever."

"Best girlfriend ever would have run a shower for me too... but you can get a close second."

She popped me on the top of my head with her hand, "Jerk."

I laughed, tickling her, "Sometimes, I am."

"Stop it!" she thrashed around.

I did it more.

"Jasper! Stop! I can't... stop!"

I buried my face in her neck, and rolled over, pinning her down with my body, "You smell like eggs."

"I helped cook eggs."

"That's why you smell like 'em then."

"Great inspection work, darling."

I kissed her head and lifted her up, "Get off so I can go brush my teeth."

"Yeah you need to."

"Shut up!" I laughed, running into the bathroom.

"It's ready!" Bella shouted from the kitchen.

After freshening up, I walked into the bedroom, throwing the covers off of Alice's head, "Come and eat with me."

"I already ate."

"You did?"

"Mmhmm."

"Alright," I said, throwing the covers back over her, "After I eat, I'm going for a run."

"'K," she rolled over on her side, facing away from me, "I'll be in bed."

"Going back to sleep?"

"Yep."

"Fine, lazy. I was going to see if you wanted to run with me."

"Alice Brandon does not run unless Alice Brandon is being chased."

I chuckled, "Tell Alice Brandon I said sweet dreams."

"K, love you."

I smiled, knowing that we were able to finally say that now, "Love you back."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

"Dad!" I shouted, slamming my hand on the desk. Silence.

"Dad!" More silence.

I threw the stapler and papers down, shuffled out of the seat, and cursed under my breath. Swinging open the door, I ran down the metal steps, three flights, until I reached the first bar. My father was having a meeting with his staff -- all hundred and fifty of them. A few of the girls waved at me and winked, while the guys just gave me a nod. I liked everyone that worked here. They were all cool cats.

I walked around quietly, and stood behind Heather. She wore a fitting white shirt, and faded jeans, and pointed boots. She turned and gave me a grin, before focusing her attention back up front.

"That goes for you too, Heather," Dad said. "Emmett, back up."

"I'm just standing here."

"Come over and stand by me, we don't want any more interruptions. These people are here early today, and would like to go home and catch up on their sleep, and you're being a nuisance."

I furrowed my brows. I hated it when my dad undermined me. I wanted to flip him off, but knew that wouldn't be in my favor, so instead, I smirked and walked to stand by his side.

He went on his spew about how good the servers were and how we're incorporating paid body shots on the bar this week, so on so forth...

When the fucking thing was finally over, I pulled him to the side, "Please do not treat me like a child. I didn't storm down here, I came quiet and-"

"And you stood behind your ex-girlfriend and became a distraction."

"Dad."

"Emmett."

I sighed, shaking my head, "Whatever. I only came down here because I cannot find the bar receipts for March. Where did you move them?"

"They're on my desk."

"No, they're not on your desk. I was at your desk."

"Then you must have knocked them off or something."

"Why would I do that? I'm telling you, they're not there."

"Look, Emmett, if you can't do your job, then-"

"Dad, shut the fuck up. I'm doing my damn job; I've been here since five-thirty this morning. Earlier than you. I've done this damn job and done it better than you, for as long as I started. You can't keep undermining me if you're going to be passing all of this shit on to me in a few months."

"Now wait a s-"

"Just... calm down, put your fucking defense shield away, and listen to me. I checked the entire damn office. The receipts are _missing_."

He glared at me, sticking his hands in his pocket, "Okay, I'm calm. And for now, I'm still your boss. So... find them."

I scoffed, shaking my head, "Oh, I see. So my job is to do my job, _and _yours as well?"

"Yeah. That sounds about right."

"Real cool, dad," I patted him on his arm sarcastically, "I don't mind. I'll be happy to pick up your slack."

"You've got a smart mouth son. I'd put it in check if I were you."

"Trust me, you haven't heard my _smart mouth _yet."

He started to say something else, but I didn't care to hear it. I turned on my heels, trudging over to my ex, "What's up?"

She turned around, smiling, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Not too bad. So you're working back here?"

"Yeah, I didn't tell you that?"

"So what does your mother think about this?"

Heather smiled, shrugging her shoulders, "She... doesn't know. Neither does my dad."

"Heather," I shook my head, "I swear, if they come storming in here again, I'm not to blame this time. I'm serious."

"Of course not," she laughed. "Don't worry about it."

I grinned, and took a moment to look her over... the girl was always beautiful, and a part of me, when I wasn't being a selfish dick, thought she could be something really special for me... but now, it seemed like she got even prettier. Go figure.

"So," she said, sipping on her sprite as she looked through her receipts from last night's crowd, "I feel really bad for going over there that day... with the funeral and all."

"Heather, that was two weeks ago. Don't worry about it."

"I know, but still... I mean, I shouldn't have gone. That was a hard day for your friends and her family, and I just show up, having no business being there. It was wrong. I just didn't have anywhere else to go and I locked myself out and you know how my dad gets and then we ran into each other the other day and... I just..." She bit her lip, sighing down to her tablet of paper.

I took a step closer, leaning my head down, "What?"

She shook her head, "It's nothing."

"I disagree."

Inhaling through her nose, she turned to face me, "Have you eaten yet?"

I shook my head, staring into her big eyes.

"Wanna go eat?"

I nodded, continuing to stare.

"Do you need to go tell your dad?"

I shook my head again.

"Okay... I'll drive."

I gave her another nod.

She playfully slapped my chest and grabbed her stuff, "Come on, you little mute."

When we climbed into her _Honda Civic_, she blasted the air and turned down the radio. It was quiet, but a comfortable silence, on the way to the restaurant. As we moved into the _Bob Evans'_ parking lot, she pulled her wallet out of her purse and threw it behind the seat. I quickly placed my hand on her forearm, "What are you doing with that?"

"We're... gonna go eat, right?"

"I know, but I'll buy."

"Emmett, you don't have to buy my food. I'm a grown woman. In fact, I asked you, so... shouldn't I buy?"

I shook my head, "No woman has ever bought me food."

She glared at me, rounding her shoulders, "This isn't the caveman years. And we're two friends, having breakfast. So shut your mouth and let me buy you some damn pancakes."

I squinted my eyes at her, "...Okay, fine."

After we were seated in a nice corner and our drinks were ordered, she sat back, smiling at me.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" I grinned, leaning back to mirror her posture.

"Nothing... just memories."

I nodded, "We've had quite a lot of them."

"I know..." she exhaled, stirring her coffee, "I miss you sometimes... when I don't think about you being that stubborn, egotistical, foolish prick."

I smirked, tossing her two creamers, "I miss you too... when you're not being a self-righteous, holier-than-thou, bashful, uncouth bitch."

She threw her empty creamer cup at me, splashing droplets of residue on my arm, "I guess we're even then."

"...I guess we are."

Our food arrived -- she got pancakes, eggs, bacon, and I got biscuits and gravy and sausage -- and we were silent while we dug in.

We got half way through before she spoke again, "So tell me about the vacation. What did you do?"

"Oh, it was a blast," I said, swallowing down my mouthful and drinking some orange juice. "Played all sorts of games with 'em, like Truth Or Dare and Texas Hold 'Em, went to a strip club, I actually stripped on a pole -- not in the club, but... yeah -- threw this huge New Year's bash, mud football, pool, went to _Chuck E. Cheese_... the list goes on and on..."

"Sounds entertaining," she giggled, "I bet you miss it."

"I do," I nodded. "Guess what."

"What?"

"Edward's going to be a father."

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Mmmhmm," I chuckled, taking another sip, "he's also engaged to be married."

"TO _TANYA_?!" she asked, dropping her silverware on her plate. "IS HE MAD?!"

I shook my head, almost choking on my food, "No!" I covered my mouth, swallowing down hard, "To his ex-now-found again woman... Bella Swan."

"As in..."

I nodded.

"Ohhhh. Wow... so he found the infamous _Bella _again?"

"Yep. And he fucking planted himself on her."

"Edward Cullen settling down... wow... I _never _saw that one coming." she sighed.

"Who the fuck did? It's a catastrophe."

"Emmett!" she laughed.

"I'm serious! He's like... the whippest I'd ever seen _anyone _whipped before. I mean... it's disgusting. All he does is love on her and grope her and talk about his _future _now... What happened to living in the moment? What happened to being young and crazy and all that shit, you know? He's twenty-three this year... Wayyyy to young to be fucking having a baby and getting married."

"True love changes that sometimes," she offered as she took a bite of her toast. "Changes your perspective on things."

"I think it's more to it than that though. I think he's scared, and _because _he's scared, I think he's rushing into this shit with both eyes closed and his hands tied behind his back."

"Did he mean to get her pregnant?"

"He says no. I don't know."

"You don't believe him?" she asked, holding out her fork to me.

I grinned, taking a bite of her food. Wonderful. "There's no reason to not believe him or take his word," I chewed. "But... I wonder if he's putting on a happy-go-lucky brave face because he feels he has to... Like he has to be all happy and sunshine, so she doesn't freak out. Because that's Bella's nature these days... He has to be the lover and the fucking daddy with her."

Heather shrugged, "Maybe you don't know her like you think you do? Girls are funny that way."

"She seriously is head over heels for that fucker though. She looks up at him all googly-eyed, bases her entire life's _happiness _on him... it's sickening. I love her and love him and they're my buds, and I'd never say this shit to their faces because it isn't right... but between you and me... it's disturbing. If they broke up, they'd never survive it this time."

"If they're _that _consumed with each other, then I'd say... you don't have to worry about them breaking up."

"Hmm."

She finished off her orange juice and sat back, patting her stomach, "Speaking of... breaking up... what exactly happened with you and the blonde girl?"

I relaxed into the booth, wiping off my mouth with the napkin, "She wasn't what I thought she was."

"How's that?"

"Full of lies and drama... I thought she was going to be that cool cat, you know? Someone I could really hang with... the girl was fine, and that was a plus. But... underneath, she was constantly pushing away from me, and then throwing herself at me when we were drunk... and then... all this crap, and she lied about having sex with Edward for some fucking reason I still, to this day, do not understand, and..." I shook my head, shuddering, "too much, I guess."

"Have you talked to her lately?"

I shook my head, "Not really since the day after I fucked her. I talked to her a few times at the funeral, but nothing major. She hasn't called since, and I haven't bothered with her ass."

"Emmett," she scoffed, "you're such a dick."

"She's being a dick to me! She talks about me playing with her emotions; she does the same shit to me. Rosalie is exhausting."

She shook her head, running her fingers through her hair, "You really _are _an ass. I want you to know this."

"I know," I exhaled. "Oh well."

We stayed silent.

After she signed the check, she pursed her lips and looked up at me through her lashes, "So... what do we do now?"

"Wanna fuck?"

She giggled, looking away, "No."

"Why not?" I leaned forward, giving her my best smirk, "I know you want to."

She leaned forward, a few inches from my face as we centered over the table, "Because we're broken up and you're still an ass."

"An ass that you still care for."

"Regardless," she stood up, pulling out her keys, "I don't want to have sex with you when you're my ex."

"Yes you do," I said, following her out of the restaurant.

She hopped in the car and I quickly followed, stretching out in the passenger seat. Then I turned to her, fucking her with my eyes. _Damn, she was beautiful._

"Emmett, Emmett, Emmett," she started her car, sighing heavily, "you haven't changed at all."

"I've changed plenty."

She shook her head, pulling out of the space, "Not enough."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward held my hand as we walked into the hospital. My stomach picked the most perfect time to begin its erratic dance. I was so scared of today... of knowing more baby things... of meeting Edward's boss... of her finding out about me... of seeing all the females he works with... the list goes on and on.

Edward greeted everyone that passed us by, and all the guys gave friendly nods, the girl gave pleasant smiles. We rode up the glass elevator, all the way to the Maternity Floor. Then we strolled over to the front desk, to find a young brunette, and young blonde sitting behind that, both with headsets attached to their ears. The brunette was off her call first, and tucked her hair behind her ears, smiling up at him, "Hey, Dr. Cullen!" _He goes by Doctor, already?_

"Hey Bree, how are you today?"

"I'm doing well, thank you. Are you working today?"

"That's good. I'm not necessarily; I'm here with Isabella Swan. She has an appointment at eight-thirty."

She typed in a few things on the computer, and I bit my lip, leaning my face into his arm.

He kept his right hand trapped between mine, and kissed the top of my head.

"Good morning, Edward," the other girl said as she disconnected her call. _So she doesn't call him Doctor?_

"Hello, Aimee. How are you?"

"I'm great. You look nice today. Is that a new shirt?"

"It is," Edward said, looking down to the dark jacket, long sleeved, grey cashmere shirt over his white shirt, and dark blue jeans, "it was a gift."

"How cool," she said, smiling up at him through her long lashes.

Bree cleared her throat, "Doctor Cullen? Doctor Sherber says she'll be here in less than five minutes. Isabella, I have a few papers for you to fill out..."

She passed the thick stack on top of a clipboard over to me, and I sighed... _That's more than a few papers_.

"Love, how about you take a seat there, and I'll be right back. I'm going to go talk with Doctor Allenstein really quick."

"Okay," I whispered. I took a seat in the corner, trying to stop my hand from trembling enough to write my damn information on the paper. As I was filling out all the blanks, I looked over to watch Edward shaking hands with a few of the guy doctors... all who were cute. They patted him on the back and he laughed, shaking his head.

As time went by, more and more people greeted him. I noticed, from time to time, that the blonde girl behind the reception desk would glance over at me. She was cute, probably eighteen or nineteen or something. Long, blonde hair that curled toward the bottom... piercing green-blue-grayish eyes... firm accented cheek bones with a tent of pink blush over her smooth, ivory skin... Minimal make up, pink lips... _Very _pretty. She didn't have a harsh look about her, really sweet eyes... but it still made me nervous. I wasn't sure why.

As Edward walked back to me, I noticed her say something to him, and he stopped walking. He laughed, throwing his head back, before leaning on the counter to talk to them. It was very clear that both girls were flirting with him... but it didn't bother me. I couldn't blame them. I had a crush on him too, still.

After the paperwork was filled out, I cleared my throat and got up, walking over to where he, the two girls, and a few other nurses were talking.

"All finished?" the brunette asked.

I smiled, handing it over to her. Edward quickly pushed his elbows off the counter, and threw his arm over my shoulders, "Guys, this is Bella."

The tall guy with the dimples got to me first, shaking my hand, "Hey Bella, I'm Andrew. Oncology."

"Hi Andrew, nice to meet you."

The shorter, black guy with the broad shoulders got to me next, "How you doin', I'm Jonen. I'm in the clinic today."

"How do you do?"

"What's up Bella?" The third guy with the freckles and red hair patted me on the back, "I'm Scotty, and you're _pretty_."

"Isn't she beautiful?" Edward gloated, pulling me into him. "So gorgeous."

I blushed, biting the inside of my lip.

"And you tamed the beast?" Jonen said, grinning up to Edward.

"She did."

"Wow, who knew that was possible."

"Hey, hey," Edward grinned arrogantly, pushing him back, "don't get started on all that."

The three guys smiled and looked at each other, having some sort of inside-joke moment. Then the burst out laughing again, looking back to Edward.

Andrew cleared his throat, "154, eh, Edward? Bright and sunny?"

"Shut your mouth," Edward laughed. "I'm not on the clock; I will beat your ass."

I shook my head, as a beautiful, strawberry blonde haired woman walked over to us, with a perfect smile, "You must be Isabella."

I reached out, shaking her hand, "I am."

"Hello, I'm Doctor Aubrey Sherber," she said, "it's a pleasure to meet you."

"Pleasure is mine, Doctor Sherber."

"How about we go to my office, and you can tell me more about yourself?"

Edward never let go of my hand, from the moment we walked into her office, even while we were sitting. Her office was decked out in brown and earth tones, reference books all the way up to the ceiling in long shelves. She had a large oak desk, with a phone, fax, huge flat calendar, and a flat screen monitor on it. We discussed how we found out we were expecting. She asked me about my current symptoms -- headaches, a little nausea, minor fatigue, occasional heartburn and indigestion, and the constant urge to pee all the time -- and explained to me briefly about how she started working here, what drives her to be a doctor, and what her goals are.

She was very sweet and professional. I liked her a lot.

"And Edward," she said, turning to face him next, "how are you feeling about this?"

"I'm excited," he grinned, brushing his thumb over the back of my hand.

"I can tell. Are you experiencing any symptoms?"

He shook his head, still smiling, "Nah. Possibly fatigue, but it's normal for me. I just want to take care of her."

She nodded, typing something into her computer, "Well, Bella... what we're going to do today is check your weight and height, run a few tests, such as anemia and HCG levels, standard STD, then we'll do a pap for abnormal cells, and go from there... We'll also be able to provide you with your official due date, and go over how your baby is doing this moment... Sound good?"

I nodded, smiling nervously at her.

"Great," she said. "Let's get started!"

She re-introduced to me Aimee, who was also a nurse, apparently.

Aimee led me into the examination room, "Okay, can I get you to remove your shoes and step on the scale for me?"

I smiled and did as she said, stepping up.

She ran the slider over, and then the other one, "How much did you weigh before you found out you were expecting?"

"Uh... around a hundred and fifteen pounds, I think..."

"Mmm, 'k," she replied, smiling up at me, "we're showing one hundred and seventeen pounds this morning... But your weight could just be fluctuating, doesn't necessarily have to do with the pregnancy."

I nodded, stepping down.

"Oops, sorry, can you step back up? We need to do your height."

I quickly hopped back on. Five foot-three. Still.

After that, she checked my temperature and blood pressure, asked me if I had any allergies, what my current symptoms were, if I had eaten anything (for blood work later), so on, so forth... As she was talking, I kept trying to figure out how I knew her... _Aimee... Aimee... I know that name from somewhere... _ I couldn't place it, no matter how hard I tried. She placed the backless white gown on the bed beside me, and told me it'd be a few moments. I quickly changed and sat my clothes on the chair.

Edward knocked on the door before coming in, then walked over, rubbing my back, "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged, "Not sure yet."

"Still seems unreal?"

"Yes."

Edward grinned.

Doctor Sherber knocked before entering, and then greeted me again. "Okay Isabella. If you don't mind, I'm going to listen to your heartbeat and your lungs..."

"Bella, please," I nodded, as she pressed the stethoscope on my chest. She asked me to breathe deep each time, then moved to my back, and did the same thing. After that, she checked my eyes, my ears, my throat, then looked at the veins in my arms and legs.

"Alright, Bella, now I'm going to feel along your abdomen, would that be all right?"

"Yes ma'am."

She turned to face Edward, "And do you want privacy, or-"

"He can stay. I don't mind," I smiled at her.

"Very well."

I lay back, and she parted the opening of the gown around my stomach, pressing along my abdomen. She was doing the exact same thing Edward did the day I told him I thought I was pregnant.

"Mmhmm," she nodded, pushing in slightly, "mmhmm. Very well."

I turned my face to my right, and Edward was now sitting in the chair, with my clothes in his lap. He smiled at me. I returned it.

"And, we're thinking you're about eight weeks now, correct?"

"Yes ma'am."

She felt around my breasts, checking to see how swollen they were, and for any abnormalcies. After confirming there was none, she said, "Okay. Bella if you don't mind, I'm going to do a quick pelvic exam and a pap screen. Do you still feel comfortable with Mr. Cullen being present?"

"Of course," I said. "He does this for a living, anyway."

She grinned at me then wrote a few things down, "Very true. I may even quiz him; see if he's up to par this morning."

I giggled, giving her permission. I was curious, myself. Plus it'd give me some relief from the attention being put all on me.

She had me slide down on the table and put my feet in the stupid cold stirrup things I hate. This was the absolute worse part of being a woman, I swore it. She placed a thin sheet over my legs, and I closed my eyes, mentally imagining myself in Jamaica. I felt her adjusting things, such as lighting and utensils, "Okay, Doctor Cullen, pop quiz. What do we do first?"

"Assessment of external genetalia," he answered, too quickly. Good thing he was closer to the door, or he'd see the whole show for himself.

"Very good," she replied, doing as he said.

I kept my eyes closed, focusing on the sounds of my heartbeat that echoed through my ears. I didn't want her feeling my 'external genetalia', and most definitely didn't want her feeling anything 'internally'.

"What's next?" she asked, though she was already doing it behind the sheet. _Thank God. _

"Speculum with assessment of vaginal and cervix, then a bimanual examination with one finger, with the other hand on the surrounding areas above the abdomen."

When she pushed above my ovaries at the same time, I winced. I could hear Edward bounce up, and it startled me, and I snapped my eyes open.

"Calm down, Ed-Doctor Cullen, excuse me, she's only sensitive. Natural for eight weeks."

"Sorry," he said, sitting back down, "I don't like to see her in pain."

Doctor Sherber chuckled, "We're going to have to establish moments when you'll be able to wear your 'supporting partner' hat, and when you're going to wear your 'Doctor Cullen' hat soon, so you won't spend the next eight months in an extreme state of panic."

Edward smirked, and gave us a gentle nod. I shut my eyes, wincing as she hit another spot.

"Sensitive here, too?"

"Mmhmm."

"Have your purchased her prena-"

"Yes," Edward answered.

"That's good." Doctor Sherber finished the embarrassing part of the examination, took my feet out of the stirrups, and kept me covered. Then she moved the tray, removed her gloves, and washed her hands. She came back to my side, "Bella, if you don't mind, I'm going to press on your stomach some more?"

I nodded, feeling really nervous, "Everything okay?"

"Perfectly fine," she smiled, pushing and dragging her index and middle finger across my lower abdomen, "tell me when you feel pressure."

Once she landed over my right ovary, I winced and told her.

She moved a little lower, "Here?"

"Yes but not as much."

"Her right ovary?" Edward asked, standing up behind her. "Possible breakthrough bleeding?"

"Possibly," she said, smiling down at me, "that's normal, of course."

I exhaled, looking over at Edward. He brushed the hair out of my face, "Bella, do you mind if I feel it?"

"No, go ahead," I smiled, fighting back the urge to reach up and stroke his cheek.

Doctor Sherber agreed to let him only after I did, and he walked to the other side of the table, feeling around my stomach, where she showed him to. When he got to my right ovary, I winced again. "Hmm," he said, pursing his lips as he dragged them lower. "Here too, baby?"

"Not really..."

Edward exhaled, thinking something to himself, and smiled. "Good."

"Are you cramping at all, Bella?" she asked, taking over as Edward leaned against the wall.

"Sometimes, but not like I normally do when I have periods."

"Okay, no problem, no problem," she replied reassuringly. She stopped when she was satisfied, then sent me down to the lab, to do blood work, HCG levels, anemia check, and blood sugar levels.

Forty minutes later, we were back in her office, "Okay, we only have a few things left. Which are...?"

Edward smiled, massaging my knee, "Discovering the due date, first trimester ultrasound, and final questions."

I loved listening to him at work. He seemed so dedicated.

"And what kind of ultrasound will we be performing today?"

He bit his lip, thinking, "I'm thinking a transvaginal exam?"

"Very good. Why are we not doing a transabdomial exam during the first trimester?"

"Sensitivity and... unclear visibility."

"Excellent," she smiled at him, then at me, "see Bella? This can come in your favor. You've got the perfect type of partner for a pregnancy."

I smiled over to him lovingly, "Thank you. He's been wonderful."

He grinned back at me.

"And Doctor Cullen, I'm presuming that you've already pre-calculated the due date in your head."

Edward grinned, "I have, but I'm not saying unless I've guessed it right."

She tossed a small tablet of sticky notes on his lap with a pen, "Write it down, let's see if you're right."

Edward did as she instructed, then peeled off the paper, tossing the tablet back on the desk.

She asked us a few more personal questions (I was used to them by now), and typed in as she went.

Then presto, she had our answer, "Okay, guys! It's looking as if you're going to be official parents on... September 16th, 2009!"

I bit my lip, blushing, as he smirked and showed me the paper. He got it right.

"Congratulations!" she said, standing up, "Let's go see if we can get the little one on camera, shall we? A nice little Polaroid for the new mommy and daddy?"

I was off the chair before he was. I was suddenly very excited. Hearing the date -- our first official date for our life we're building together -- was all the motivation I needed. Edward laughed, walking behind me as she led us into the next room. I had to change into another gown, but I didn't even care about being naked now, or the stupid cold stirrups... I didn't even care too much about the stupid wand I was about to be assaulted with.

All I wanted to see was the proof.

She explained that the results vary, since at eight weeks and three days along, he or she is about the size of a large raspberry, or half an inch. Its tiny heart (about the size of a poppy seed!) is growing more each day, and the kidneys are poised and starting waste management. She explained that things such as the liver and lungs are forming. She also explained that the buds of its arms and legs are separating into segments, and our little raspberry was forming nose, lips, eyelids, tongue, etc... Not to mention the baby's heart could rate around 150 beats per minute, which is double the time of ours!

Everything she was saying was going right through me... none of this seemed real. As she inserted the wand, Edward grabbed my hand, grinning as he leaned toward me and the monitor to my right. She pushed further, explaining what she was looking for... and then she got to my middle. She grinned, turning toward us as we looked, "Okay Bella, what we're looking at here is your uterus... This large black area here, which looks like a giant peanut, is your amniotic sac... and this little gray smudge here is your _baby_..."

My lips parted, and my breathing fell short... the smudge would figure to somewhat of a outline of a fetus type thing, then back to a blob, then fetus, then blob...

Edward smiled wider, squeezing my hand tighter.

"...We're going to zoom in here... and I'm only showing one baby... no twins..."

I turned to Edward. None of this seemed... I was stunned. I can't think of any other word to describe my feelings.

"See, the baby is nice and comfortable, floating around in there... that's the reason you're feeling so lousy."

I giggled, biting my lip.

"And right here," she said, pointing to the flicker on the screen, "...that is your baby's heartbeat..."

"_That_?" I asked, leaning toward it. It was a black then white dot thing that changed every second or so.

"Yes ma'am... isn't it beautiful?"

I nodded, turning my head to look at it, while Edward kissed the top of my head. "Can we listen to the heartbeat?" he asked, before kissing my head again.

"Of course," she said, as a little wave bar crossed the top of the screen. "We should be able to pick it up; you're past seven weeks..."

She keyed in a few things, and using the dobbler and holding the wand in place, "Are you ready, Bella?"

I took a deep breath and held Edward's hand, nodding. She turned it up, and... I froze. It was beating so fast! It made my heart speed up, just listening to it! Like a tiny bass drum, in, out, in, out... over and over again. _THUD, thud, THUD, thud, THUD, thud, THUD, thud... _It got louder as we listened to it, and she moved closer. The both of them stayed silent, so I could absorb it. I slowed my breathing, zoning out on the sound... I felt trickles of tears stream down my face, but I couldn't move.

I was overwhelmed.

I ran my hand over my chest, ignoring the tightening in my throat.

"Wow," Edward whispered his entire face the happiest as I had ever seen before. "It's different when it's your own inside there... "

"It is," she smiled.

"What do you think, angel?"

I bit my lip, holding my hand over my stomach, and looking down to it, "You're really real in there, aren't you?"

Edward smiled, kissing my cheek. Then he moved his lips to my ear and whispered, "That's _us _in there, baby. You and me... isn't it amazing?"

I nodded, wiping the back of my hand on my face. "I didn't think it was real..."

Doctor Sherber grinned and said she'd make us a tape and some pictures, and be right back.

Once she left, Edward hugged me and I cried. My emotions took a hold of me and I lost it... but it wasn't upset tears, it was tears of joy... All of this... me and him... reuniting and our love for each other surpassing all this heartache and pain... and through that, we've created our own little miracle... Hearing this baby -- _our baby_ -- was the first testimony that we were going to make it. It was the proof I longed for, for so long... This was better than a wedding or writing our names together... this was life. Edward and I, we created _life_... Both of our hearts just made one more...

"I'm so happy," I whispered, hugging him tightly. "I'm so, so, _so _happy."

He chuckled into my neck, squeezing me more, "I am too. Congratulations, baby."

"That's us, isn't it? I mean, it _is_... but wow, it _really _is..."

He smiled against my cheek, nodding. He was so proud.

When we returned to her office, she gave me her card and set up my next appointment. Then she gave me some advice, "Take your prenatal vitamins with food, it'll help keep your stomach coated. Cravings will be strong for a while longer, so indulge, and eat well. Make sure you get plenty of rest. Allow yourself to be lazy, it's good for you. Baby yourself even, and let him baby you too. There's no shame in it. Okay? Avoid stress as much as possible."

I nodded, smiling up at her, "Thank you so much for this."

"You're very welcome; do you have any questions for me? Any fears?"

"Just dying while in labor," I grinned, "I've been having dreams that I'm getting torn apart by the baby and lose all my blood and guts and stuff."

"I told her those were normal," Edward said.

"Very normal," she confirmed, "and listening to soothing music will distract your mind before you rest. If you have an IPod, take it to bed with you. No hard music, no heavy rock... And don't you worry your pretty little head about any of those dreams. They're only that; not reality. Okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

We shook hands and she congratulated us, before patting Edward on the back, "And I expect to see you early Monday morning. Six-thirty okay?"

"I'll be here. Thank you Doctor Sherber."

"Anytime. I'll see you soon, Bella. Call if you need anything."

"Thanks again."

The car ride home was long, as my mind was drifting around. I was so happy, but still overwhelmed.

When we got back up to Edward's place, I picked up Spendor and lay on the couch, kicking off my shoes. Edward threw a small cover over us, brushing my hair out of my eyes, "You are so beautiful... especially today... I love you very much, Bella."

I smiled, blinking slowly, "I love you too."

Edward kissed the side of my cheek and placed his hand on my stomach. I put my hand over his and smiled up at him. Spendor licked the top of my hand.

"Are you tired?"

"Yes," I nodded, nuzzling into the pillow. "Exhausted."

"I figured. You're going to be really tired for the next few weeks... Anything you're feeling, just keep me informed, okay? Promise?"

"I promise."

He handed me the remote, "I don't think Alice is here... I'm going to do a load of laundry. Spendor will nap with you, I'm sure. I'll try to keep it down."

"Edward?"

"Yeah," he turned around, facing me again.

"I couldn't have picked a better person to share my life with... I just... wanted you to know that."

He smiled contently, "It's only the beginning love... and I agree though... about you."

"Thank you," I shut my eyes. "Stop licking me, Spendor."

Spendor whimpered, resting his head by my breast.

"Good puppy," I pat his head. "Let's sleep now."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

"Yo, man, I can't believe you got a fucking bonus," Colton spat, as we walked out of the office. "You ain't even been back to work yet!"

I smirked, rubbing my chin, "My commission last month outbeats yours for the past six. Besides, you should know better than that, Colt. Josh loves me."

"Yeah, cuz you suck his dick on the weekends."

"You're the faggot," I slugged his shoulder, before we headed down the steps.

"So, where you headin' off to?" he asked, while we strode through the reception court.

"Home, probably. I haven't been sleeping too good. Unless the dealership calls to tell me that my new baby is ready."

"Rosalie still at your house?"

"Yeah."

"Dude," he shook his head, "you truthfully need to smash that and move on."

"Fuck you, it's not like that."

"What the fuck is it like then? You've been pining over your best friend for, what, three or four years now, on and off? Dude, it's exactly like that."

"You don't know anything about it, and I have not been _pining _over it. I've dated plenty of people in the past years."

"Yeah when you're not pining."

"Again, I'm _not _pining, you immature dick."

"Okay, okay, you're not pining. So you wouldn't be upset with me when I tell you that that girl has sucked so much dick, I'm surprised she doesn't have lock-jaw."

"Colton, don't make me fuck you up."

"She's a-"

"Don't say it," I warned, stopping and glaring at him.

He held his hand up in surrender, "Okay, I'm not going to say it. But you know what I'm thinking."

I stepped closer, "And you don't know her, or _me _for that matter, if you think I'm going to let you talk shit about her. You're my bud and all but I will not hesitate to break your fucking nose."

"Okay, okay," he said, running after me as I turned and sped up my pace, "let me ask you this. You're twenty-one, Jake. She's, what, like, twenty-four or twenty-five? She doesn't want some immature, fresh out of college, arrogant boy. She wants a lawyer. A surgeon. A fucking... a fucking space inventor!"

I scoffed, shaking my head, "I make more money than all of them."

"Yeah but they have more security."

"Fuck you Colton!" I said, my blood pressure rising as I stopped in the staircase. "I own a house that yours could fit _inside _of. I eat, sleep, dream this fucking job. I'm the top-dog in a business that, in Seattle _alone_, employees five hundred, not counting the execs. And do you know how long I've worked here? Seven months if you don't count that year internship while I was in school. SEVEN MONTHS. And I've never called out of work, even if I'm fucking sicker than a dog. Exception being Phil's funeral and my vacation, which took my friends three months to beg me to take off."

"Yeah, but y-"

I pushed him back, getting in his face, "The thing about this is, it isn't about me. You're not concerned for me. You're not trying to be the _'friend'_. You're still upset for the fact that you went after her and she turned you down. ALL EIGHT TIMES."

"Dude, I wasn't going to pursue it hard when I knew you wanted a piece!" he insisted. "If I really, really wanted to hit it, I'd done hit it. But you're my boy and I love you and I know you're feelings and-"

"Screw off, Colton." I turned, walking away.

"J," he laughed, running after me still. "You know what you need?"

"What?" I hissed.

"To hump something. Just go out, find some random girl, fuck her senseless, and then go home to your best friend or dream girl or whatever she is to you, and bake cookies and cupcakes."

I ignored him the rest of the way to my bike.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Hello?" Rosalie asked, her voice groggy.

"What are you doing, sleeping?"

"Trying."

"Well wake up, I'm on my way home."

"No, I don't wanna."

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Ohhhh, yes you do."

"Jake, don't mess with me, I'm frustrated as it is."

"Why are you frustrated? You have a vibrator in my house." _Couldn't help it._

She sighed, "It's not working."

"You broke it?" I laughed. "Did the batteries run dead?"

"No, dick. It's just... not _working _for me."

I grinned, shaking my head from the images in my mind, "Well ...what if I told you that I've got something for you that could make your panties wet without even touching you?"

"Aww, Jake, could you be more romantic?"

"Nothin' about romance blondie," I smirked, "this is all about vibrations and sleek metal."

I heard her gasp and drop the phone.

"W-what, hello, are you there?"

"Yes," I mused.

"IT'S DONE!? YOU ACTUALLY GOT IT?!? YOU-"

"Yep."

"AHHHHHHHH!!!!! JAKE!!! Oh my God!! Oh my God, Oh my God, OH MY FUCKING GOD!!! NO _WAY_!"

Laughing, I pulled the phone away so her screeching wouldn't blow my ear drum.

"JAKE!!!!!!"

"I hear you, stop screaming!" I chuckled.

"Where are you?!"

"About to pull in. Get downstairs."

"I'm coming now!" _Click_.

I tossed my phone and pulled my sunglasses down, turning onto my long, curvy drive. Last summer, when she and I were fixing my bike up, I told her my dream would be to own a new Pontiac, custom, platinum _Spyker C8 Aileron_, complete with crisp orange racing seats, pedals, and interior, chrome dash, switch finishes, Audi V8, easy downshift, no driver's aids, no traction control, no anti-skid measures, low ABS which only acts in an extreme panic situation, snake-eye headlights, and lambo scissor-doors. Only sixty were made in the USA.

Rosalie came plowing out of my front door, in striped tiny pajama shorts, pink flip-flops, a white tank top and no bra. She was combing through her long, wavy hair with her fingers, and her grin was huge. "AHH!" she screamed, galloping down my steps, and halting right before she touched my car. "Oh my..." she inhaled, "oh holy shit!!!" She shut her eyes, touching my front door with her index finger, "...pure... orgasm."

"I told ya," I grinned, opening my doors.

Her big eyes grew a foot in diameter as they rose to the sky, "This... is... _HEAVEN_. Two hundred and fifty thousand dollars of clouds, rainbows and sunshine, wrapped up in a beautiful piece of machinery..."

I stepped out, and we walked around it. My buddy Seth pulled in after with my bike, and parked it next to my garage, before strolling over to us. All of us stood there, admiring it. "I can't believe you actually..." Rosalie started to say, still breathless, as she squatted and ran her hand around my custom rims.

"I got my bonus today."

She jumped in my arms and held her legs out, hugging me tight around the neck. I laughed, shaking her around.

"Oh, Jake, I'm so proud of you!"

"Thanks," I said, placing her back to Earth.

"Can we go for a spin?"

"Of course, hop in. Seth, you wanna come?"

"Yeah!" he said, climbing in the back. I revved the engine and it roared heavily, sending vibrations through our seats. Rosalie gasped again, clutching her chest. "Mmmm," she hummed, face pure bliss. "This is better than sex." I did it again, enjoying her face to the extreme. "Guys, we need to take a picture of Jake's moment," Seth said, pulling out his cell phone. "Squeeze in, you two."

Rosalie reached over and threw her right arm around my neck, and we twisted around, allowing him to snap it.

"Do a funnier one now!"

Rosalie laughed and stuck her tongue toward my ear, and I showed him my tongue piercing and curled my fingers in front of her nipple, pretending I was squeezing it. He snapped another picture. "Come on," I said, turning the bad boy around and flooring it out of my drive. Rosalie screamed and Seth flew to the back, grasping to buckle his seatbelt. We floored it down the back roads until we finally hit the highway, and I quickly switched to the fast lane, heading straight for the interstate, toward Seattle.

"HOW FAST DOES THIS GO?!" Rosalie shouted, before I rolled up the windows.

"'Bout 190, I think," I said, grinning as we soared down the on ramp. "Zero to a hundred in 4.5 seconds."

"This baby turns like no other," Rosalie chimed as I passed about twenty cars. "I love it."

"How fast you goin'?" Seth asked, sticking his face between us.

"About a buck," I said, watching the needle go past the hundred mark. I turned on the surround system, enjoying the bass on our backs. We spent the next thirty minutes showing off and flying around in my baby. Then we went through downtown Seattle. I kept getting so many looks and waves... from both guys and girls. I felt like the coolest guy on the planet, I ain't gonna lie. I don't thrive too much on showy, flashy stuff, but this... this was my exception. I watched as three girls in tight jeans and tank tops walked in front of us at the cross-walk and stopped, checking it out. I grinned, revving it for them.

Rosalie turned and glared at me, before shaking her head, "Great. Now you're going to get more girls on you."

"That's the entire point," I said, licking my lips and smirking.

Rosalie reached over and ripped my sunglasses off my head, and put them on her face. Two stoplights later, more girl attention. She got more upset, turning down the radio. "We need some happier music, not some flashy, flashy, guy needs pussy music."

"He doesn't need mood music to get ass," Seth chimed, patting my shoulder.

Rosalie glared at the next girl who waved at me, and then blasted my radio to fucking _'Four Tops, "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)", _giggling up a storm. "Ooh! Sugar pie, honey bunch!" she shouted, singing along and clapping her hands, "You know that I love you! I can't help myself; I love you and nobody else!" She reached over, squeezing my cheeks on my face.

I looked at her, trying not to smile. She was damn cute though, swinging her arms around, the air on her face, splashing her blonde locks everywhere... This was the first time I really saw her laughing and cutting loose, since Phil's funeral.

There was no way I could take this moment away from her, no matter what. Even though Seth was hiding his face and ducking down in the back seat.

She was too fucking adorable, shaking her head and laughing out loud. So, I cleared my throat, and turned the music up louder, causing her to laugh more as we stopped at every single freakin' red light in town. She moved her shoulders seductively, clapping her hands and acting like she was playing the saxophone with the person on the radio.

I started singing along with her, though not as enthusiastically, "Sugar pie, honey bunch. I'm weaker than a man should be... I can't help myself. I'm a fool, in love, you see." I started to lightly head bang as we got to the next light, "Wanna tell you that I don't love ya. Tell you that we're through, and I've tried... But every time I see your face..."

Now I had all of them singing along with me, even Seth. Rosalie had her fake microphone out, and Seth and I reached over, singing in it with her, "Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. I get all choked up inside... When I call your name, girl it starts the flame, burning up my heart, tearing it all apart... No matter how I try, my love I cannot hide. Oh, sugar pie, honey bunch. You know that I'm weak for you... weak for you. I can't help myself. I love you, and nobody else. Sugar pie, honey bunch, do anything you ask me to. Ooh, ooh! I can't help myself... I want you and nobody else..."

We were all in hysteric laughter by the time the song ended. She reached into her purse and stuck in _Secondhand Serenade_, our closet favorite singer. We never told anyone else we listened to it.

I took a shortcut to my house. When we pulled into the drive, Rosalie lifted her seat to let Seth out since he had to be home before his mom found out he was skipping work today. After he left, we leaned back in the seats, admiring all of my hard work and money saved.

We sat in silence, listening to SS's "_Your Call_". As I listened... it really reminded me of her and I, at this moment... or, more less, how I was feeling about her, this moment.

The lyrics... on point, with _'Waiting for your call I'm sick, call I'm angry, call I'm desperate for your voice... listening to the song we used to sing, in the car. Do you remember 'butterfly, early summer', it's playing on repeat... just like when we would meet... like when we would meet... 'Cuz I was born to tell you I love you. And I am torn... to do what I have to... to make you mine, stay with me tonight.'_

"Jake," Rosalie whispered, running her hands along the passenger door, "I'm so happy for you... for getting this. It was your dream."

"Yeah," I grinned. "I guess I can cross this one off my list."

She giggled, "Your list is about all wiped out now, isn't it?"

I took a nice breath and pursed my lips, before turning my head in the seat and looking at her. She had her left cheek on the seat, smiling over at me... and she looked like an angel. Blonde hair surrounding her face... no make-up... a few dots of freckles on the tip of her nose... perfect arch in her top lip... she was so perfect... and completely out of my league.

The lyrics went on, _'and I'm tired... of being all alone, and this solitaire moment makes me want to come back home. And I'm tired... of being all alone, and this solitaire moment makes me want to come back home... and I'm tired... of being all alone, and this solitaire moment makes me want to come back home... 'cuz I was born...'_

"All but one," I whispered voice extra raspy.

She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, looking directly at me. I danced my tongue on my lip, watching her chew on hers. She looked like she was thinking just as much as I was... but not knowing what was on her mind drove me crazy, so I tried not to pay attention to it. She licked her lips and blinked slowly, smiling at me gently.

I smiled back, completely lost in the moment and the soothing song. _ Should I tell her? _Man, I really wanted to tell her... just reach out and kiss those lips... I wanted to hold her in my arms. Tell her how beautiful she was, even when she was a pain in the ass. How funny she was, even when she couldn't tell a joke to save her life. How caring she was, when she wasn't focused on just herself...

How she counter-acted herself, because her imperfections were perfect.

I wanted to tell her she was nothing short of everything to me.

Her phone started to vibrate beside my gear shift, and she shut her eyes, exhaling. I pulled my top lip in, unable to remove my eyes from her. It vibrated more. _Just tell her. Fuck the phone, and fuck everything else... fucking tell her, you pussy. What can it hurt?_

She dropped her head, the left side of her hair covering her face, and picked it up. I shut my eyes and turned to face forward, blocking out whatever she was saying. I was too late... Always too late, because I am a big chicken-shit. When she was done, she dropped the phone and covered her face, growling in her hands. I turned to face her again, turning down the radio, "what is it?"

"That was the bank. I'm behind on my car payment."

"How far behind?"

She sighed, slapping her hands on her legs, "Two months." She scoffed, shaking her head, "I don't even have a job."

"What happened to-"

"I quit."

"Oh," I frowned.

She ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, and opened the door. I quickly turned the car off and climbed out, jogging up the steps after her. "Rose."

"Yeah," she asked, swinging the door open and not stopping.

"Don't worry about your car, I can help."

"I wouldn't be able to pay you back," she replied, turning to her right from the foyer and running up the steps to the kitchen.

"I never asked you to pay me back."

"It's too much."

"Don't worry about it."

"It's-"

I grabbed her elbow, swinging her to me, "Hey."

"What?" she asked, shamefully looking to the ground.

"I'll help you. I'll take care of your car payments until you get back on your feet."

"You can't," she shook her head, "that plus my insurance, it's too much money. I'll just let it get repo'd."

"No you won't, you love that car."

"So?" she scoffed. "I can't take care of it, _obviously_."

"You've had a lot going on."

"Doesn't excuse my carelessness."

"Didn't say it did. But I am saying that I'll help."

"Jake, two months behind plus my insurance... that's like... eleven hundred plus another seven something. Forget it."

"I got it."

"No."

"Yes."

"NO."

"Don't you know better than to argue with me? If I say I got it, I fucking got it."

She glared at me, eyeing me down. I glared back.

She crossed her arms. I crossed mine.

"We can play this cat and mouse game all day long," I said. "Not going to change anything."

"Yeah," she hissed. "It's not, because you're not helping."

"Stop being a... you." I stated, trying not to insult.

"You stop being a _you_!"

"I will if you will."

"Fine!" she slammed her hands on the counter, forfeiting the argument. "I'm hungry."

I chuckled, scratching my head, "Yeah, I need to go grocery shopping again. I hate doing it."

"I can go for you," she said, suddenly happy again. "Can I drive your car?"

I looked down to her inspecting her eagerness. "I suppose."

"YES!" she screeched, throwing her arms around my neck. I tried to ignore the way her braless, firm breasts pressed up against me, and the way her creamy thighs brushed around mine. I tried to ignore the way her thumb danced along the back of my hairline, and how her breath was on the side of my neck... I really did. But I failed. And I had to sit her down before I devoured her on this countertop.

Clearing my throat, I gave us a good amount of space and tossed my keys to her, "My credit card is on the desk. Buy whatever you think we need, but no more fucking scented candles. You've got my entire house smelling like potpourri."

"Okay," she said. "I'm gonna go take a quick shower."

I shut my eyes, trying not to mentally visualize, "Okay."

"Do you, uh, need to take a shower?"

I shook my head, keeping my eyes closed. She was silent for a moment. I opened my eyes, to see her staring at me, biting her lip. "What?"

"Nothing," she answered quickly, shuffling out of the kitchen. "Take a nap Jake. You didn't get much sleep last night!"

"Will do, blondie." I sat on the couch and flopped to the side, willing my boner to go away. Fucking Rosalie and her mental images were going to kill my will-power.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Edward? What do you think?"

I turned to see Renee, Bella's mother, holding up light blue onesies.

"This could be for a girl, or a boy. It's unisex."

I nodded, motioning for her to get them. Since Bella was taking a much-needed nap, and I had to go into town and get some toilet paper and dog food, I decided to surprise her, and enlighten her mom, by getting a few things for our baby as well. Bad mistake.

"Do you know if Bella is going to breastfeed?"

I raised my eyebrow and grinned, looking at her dumbfounded, "We hadn't talked about it much."

"Hmm," she said, throwing the breast pump in her cart anyway, "you never know. Just in case."

Needless to say, Renee has taken my 'few things for the baby' into a giant shopping extravaganza.

I'm standing here, in the middle of _Baby Chic_, trying to keep my sanity.

I love kids. I do. I love babies and am pretty excited about being a father... and knowing that my profession will bring new life every day really makes me smile... but, being here at two something in the afternoon, on a fucking Friday, when a bunch of three year olds are screaming at their moms and throwing tantrums in the middle of aisles, before their poor, annoyed, pissed-off father's take them out of the store... it gave me a headache.

Renee wasn't helping my situation by asking me questions every two seconds. Not to mention her studying every single label of everything she looked at, and comparing notes.

However, she was actually talking and looking forward to this, so I wasn't going to spoil it for her... but internally, I wanted to choke myself.

_I'd much rather be doing this with Bella. I could be enjoying this with my fiancée. _

"Are you guys going house browsing today?"

"I plan on it," I replied, shrugging, "if she's feeling up to it... and if we get back in time." _Hint, hint._

"How big of a house are you wanting?"

"A big one," I simply replied. "Lots of rooms. My mom is giving us a huge discount to help decorate it, so that's a plus."

"That's good. I don't want Bella on her feet more than she has to be. I've done and argued with her about working while pregnant. She's clumsy as it is."

"So have I, but she loves her job."

"She needs to be around for the baby. A bonding between mother and child is extremely important."

I sighed, "I know this."

"And I hope you're going to make an honest woman out of her by marrying her sooner than later... plus she'll feel insecure in a white dress and weight gain."

I rubbed her back, fighting the urge not to push her away, "As soon as possible"

"Good. I think that's best."

"I agree," I exhaled. "Come on, we should be going."

"Oh, do you see these baby bottles?" she ran forward, while I kept myself from smacking my head on the wall.

We'd been here for three hours. In this store. Walking in circles. Again, with Bella, it'd be fun... this wasn't.

I took a glance at her cart...

Baby onesies. Baby booties and socks. Baby mittens. Baby bathtub, and another insert for our regular tub. Baby shampoo and body wash. Baby lotion. Hooded baby towels. Baby washcloths. Baby nail clippers. Nasal aspirator. Digital forehead thermometer. Infant acetaminophen drops. Infant-safe sunscreen.

Breastfeeding support pillow. Breast pump. Nursing bra. Breast pads. Lanolin cream. Breastmilk freezer storage containers. Bottles and nipples. Dishwasher basket for bottles. Bottle brush. Bottle drying rack. Bottle and pacifier sterilizer. Baby pacifiers. Baby formula...

Disposable diapers. A few cloth diapers. Baby wipes. Diaper Rash Cream. Diaper pail. Baby powder. Baby monitor. Laundry bag.

I stopped her as she picked up a toy bin, "Uh... I think I'd like to wait and get the bigger things with Bella."

"She'll probably be working."

"I'll wait," I insisted, ripping it from her fingers while trying to keep my smile, "I'd really like to wait for her."

She looked up at me, and frowned.

_Fuck my life._

"I see... Okay..." she nodded, looking toward the cart glumly.

I bit my lip and exhaled, putting the toy bin on top of the full cart, "Fine, you can purchase the bin... but that's it. I'm drawing a line."

She clapped her hands and the smile returned on her face, "And what a bold line it is, Edward. Come on, let's go."

I praised the Lord and sang _Hallelujah!_ in my head when she actually made it to the check-out.

I didn't bother to look at the price, she wouldn't let me pay for it anyway, and if I saw how high it was, I'd freak and she knew it... so, I didn't look.

Driving back, my phone started to ring. It was Bella.

"Hey babe," I said, pulling onto Parkway.

"Where are you?" she asked, her voice cracking.

"I'm on my way back. Your mom is with me."

"Oh great," she replied, voice sarcastic. "She had you driving her around town, didn't she? I bet you want to strangle yourself. She can be overbearing... especially since... I'm sorry Edward."

I grinned toward the stop light and turned to face Renee, "Bella says hello."

"Tell her I say hello back and I'll see her in a moment."

"Your mom says hi back."

"Mmhmm. How close are you?"

"Few minutes, depending on traffic."

"Wanna do me a favor?" she asked, her voice suddenly sing-song.

I smirked, "What do you want?"

"Perhaps an... _Elliano's _fruit smoothie with whip cream?"

I grinned happily, "First craving?"

"Mmhmm," she inhaled, "I can _smell _it almost... Mmm...."

"What kind?"

"Uh... Banana, Strawberry, and Lemon?"

"I'll get it for you baby."

"Thank you. I love you."

"Love you too."

"K, don't forget my extra whip cream!"

"I won't. Bye."

"Bye."

A minute after I pulled away from the drive-up at _Elianno's _with Bella's drink in my hand, my phone rang again.

"Yes, love?"

"Was wondering if you could do one more thing for me, pretty please?"

I snickered, watching traffic go by, "Since I'm out, I suppose."

"KFC?"

"Ohhh, I _hate _KFC. It's utterly disgusting."

"Somewhere good with chicken?"

"Fast food?"

"Yeah..."

"Uh... I'll figure it out."

"K, I love you."

"You're gonna owe me for this," I hinted to her, hoping she'd catch on to my drift.

"Mmhmm, I know," she answered cutely. "Get here soon."

I hung up and tried to wipe my shit-eating grin off my face, since Renee was looking at me speculatively. "What?"

"What's that all about? You're the supporting partner. You should be happy to run and get things for her."

I grinned, trailing my top teeth along my bottom lip and praying Bella will actually give into the sexual favor I've been begging for the past few days, "Ohhhh, trust me. You have no idea how... happy I am to be doing this."

"Mmhmm. Without blackmailing her and bribery?"

"Mind your business, lady," I teased her, turning up the radio.

She ignored the music, "So, have you thought of baby names? What do you want the sex to be?"

"I want a boy, she wants a girl."

"Are you guys going to find out before the delivery?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "We'll see."

"I think you should. That way we can set up the nursery and surprise her with it."

I shook my head quickly, "The nursery is mine and my mom's. I already promised her. She wanted us to have a joint project, and Bella said it'd be great for us, so... yeah. Sorry."

"Well... what can I do for your new house when you get it?"

"Anything you want. Just not the nursery... or our bedroom. Or master bath. Or kitchen, that's all Bella's. Or living room... Or... garden. She wants that too."

"Hmm," she crossed her arms. "I see."

"You have your suite to do, remember? I'm sure you'll be occupied with that."

Though Renee hasn't decided whether or not she's going to live with us for the first few months after the baby arrives, we've decided to find a house with a suite in it, for her. Just in case.

"True," she agreed.

By the time we got inside my house, I was never more thankful.

Bella rushed into my arms, knocking down a few bags and almost making me drop her drink. She peppered my face with kisses, before jumping and wrapping her legs around me. I snickered into her lips, before kissing her back.

Cora and Spendor were barking up a storm, jumping up and down on my legs in excitement. _ Everyone here loves me._

"Mmm," I said, between kisses. "I should be gone more often if I'm going to get a welcome-back greeting like _this_."

Our bellhop Tommy, and Renee quickly shuffled past us with the rest of Baby's things, ignoring us all together.

I placed the cup on the table and sat us down on the couch, rubbing her thighs with my palms, "You smell so good today." I leaned in, rubbing my nose on her pulse. "...very sweet."

She shuddered, tugging on the tips of my hair, "I missed you so much. You were gone, like, four hours."

"Tell your mother," I said under my breath, before kissing her.

While I was kissing her neck, she held the back of my head and pushed my face into her, leaned over, and grabbed her smoothie. She didn't want me to stop.

I snickered into her skin, before sucking it between my lips. She pushed forward on me, accidently grinding and stirring me up a bit. I had to grip her and hold her in place, before I got too excited in front of her mom.

That would be bad.

"Okay," Renee exhaled from the kitchen, "I'm going to put all this stuff... somewhere."

Bella motioned for her to 'go away' with her hand, holding my face to her neck still with the other hand.

I gently bit down and released, enjoying my teeth marks and saliva on her neck.

She slurped on her drink, before giving me a sip of it, "You're so sweet for getting this for me," she said. "I've wanted it since I woke up."

"I don't mind," I said soothingly. "Anything for you."

She gave me a big kiss, full of humming and inhaling through her nose.

The thing was, yeah, I love sex and it's important to me, but I didn't _have _to have it... but every time I see her... every time I'm near her... especially now... it's like she absorbs it through her pores and it's around me twenty-four-seven when I'm with her. Floating in the air and begging me to accomplish it.

No matter how hard I try to be a gentleman, it's constantly in the back of my mind.

I growled into her lips, forcing a giggle out of her.

"God," I exhaled, pulling back to look into her eyes, "why did your mom pick _today _of all days to come over?"

"She misses me and we have to be supportive," Bella frowned.

She quickly picked her sadness back up when I gave her a crooked grin.

I didn't want her to think too much about his death.

I wanted her to smile.

I _needed _her to smile and be happy.

She pulled my bottom lip between her teeth and released it seductively, "Until she's gone... wanna go house shopping?"

I chuckled, "You can't do what you did and ask me to go house shopping."

"Please?" she asked, blinking her lashes.

I shook my head, smiling, and kissed the tip of her nose, "All right. Because you're using the 'P' word against me."

She kissed my forehead and climbed off of me, before bending down and playing with Spendor and Cora.

I tossed them both rawhide bones I got at the store, then pulled her into my arms, for one more kiss.

"Can my mom come?" she asked, giving me apologetic eyes.

I groaned a little, unable to help it. "Sure, why not."

"Thanks Edward. I'll make it up to you."

"So you've got two things to make up to me now. I like it."

"I knew you would," she winked at me, before grabbing her food and running to tell her mom.

_I'm such a chump. An in-love, no limits chump._

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I was having a bad day.

A really, really... bad day.

And I wasn't sure why.

I woke up fine, until I saw Edward groping Bella. For some reason, it pissed me off, and I was already sour from waking up.

I tried to ignore it and jump on Jasper, but then he had to act distant in a way and say certain things, and maybe I took it the wrong way, I don't know.

Regardless, sleeping all day wasn't helping me.

I was still pissed off.

I slapped my pillows around when Edward walked into my room, without knocking.

"Hey Alice?"

"What?" I growled.

"Whoa... okay, uh, Bella and I-" He stopped talking when I rolled over, growling and throwing the covers over my head. "What's your deal?"

"Go away; I don't care to know what you and Bella are doing."

"Did... something happen?"

"Yeah. God decided to give me a shitty day."

"Why are you having a shitty day?" he asked, and I could feel him sit on my bed beside me.

"Because," I answered, rubbing my face.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Wanna not talk about it?"

"Yes."

"Alice," he exhaled, pulling my covers back off of me.

"Edward, stop!"

"Come on, what's wrong with you? This isn't like you. You don't have bad days."

"Oh, what," I hissed, sitting up and glaring at him, "now I'm not even allowed to have a bad day? I have to be all smiles and your freakin' sunshine all the time?"

He lifted his left eyebrow, not moving or speaking.

I laid back down in a huff, looking up at the ceiling.

"Where's Jasper? Did you two get into a f-"

"Go away Edward."

"Give me a reason why."

"Because you have another girl in there to spend every waking moment with and don't need your other friends anymore."

"Uhhh, I was talking about your bad day, and I spend time with you too. And Bella is your friend, too Alice. Come on."

"Just go away, you don't get it."

"What don't I get?"

"Go away," I rolled away from him.

"What don't I get, Alice? Tell me."

"GO... AWAY."

He scoffed, "No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Get out of my room, Edward," I gritted through my teeth.

"No. Talk to me."

"I don't want to talk," I shut my eyes, willing the world to blow up.

"Alice..." he leaned over, resting his chin on my shoulder to look down at me, "...I love you. You're my best friend. You're having a bad day, and... I want to help."

"Please," I whispered, begging, "just... go. I want to be alone."

"I'm not sure if-"

"Edward," I exhaled. "I'm fine. Go. Spend time with your fiancée and mother-in-law."

He reached over and pulled my back against his chest, hugging me to him. Then he whispered in my ear, "Please don't start slipping Alice... Regardless of what you're thinking, you're still one of the very few people I absolutely have to have in my life to keep myself going... Please listen to what I'm saying... don't start shutting people out."

I sniffled, fighting back tears, "I'm fine. I promise. Don't worry about it."

"Please hear me," he whispered. "Don't do it Alice."

"Go, Edward. I won't."

"Promise me."

I shut my eyes, and shook my head.

"Promise me Alice. If you say you won't, I'll believe you... if you give me your word."

I pulled my sleeves to my pj's over my hands and wiped my tears away, "Yeah. Yeah... you have my word."

"Okay," he nodded, kissing my cheek. "I'll be back. I have my cell. I love you."

"You too. See ya."

"Cheer up, sweetheart," he said, covering me back up.

I listened to my door click, and as they were leaving, I heard Bella laughing.

I hated days like these.

Days that made no sense and sparked irritating thoughts I couldn't escape from.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

Emmett texted me a few times, asking me _'what's up?' _each and every single time he did. I found it slightly annoying lately. When I got back with the groceries, I noticed Jake was still napping on the couch. I chewed my lip, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as soon as I saw him.

I've been staying at Jake's house for two weeks now. My feelings did nothing but grow, and I still couldn't get a grip on my emotions. I'd spent the past couple hours sorting through them at the grocery store... but I couldn't. This whole... situation... really bothered me. Because, when I wasn't around Jake, suddenly, I was itching to be. When I didn't hear his voice, I wanted to. When I couldn't see him, I was begging for the time to pass by... especially when he was away, like during his meeting today, or out with his guy friends.

And he was my friend, you know? That person who's seen me as sick as a dog, with snot dried on my nose, and messy hair, and morning breath, and all that other crap. _So how did that become this, and why couldn't I shake away these feelings?! _Of course, I couldn't tell him any of this. He'd think I was crazy! He's a single, young, hot guy who likes to tell it like it is and doesn't care how he comes off to others, and I'm practically... nothing. Older. Dumber. No. I'm so not in his league.

I sat the bags on the counter and tossed his keys. Then I strolled into the living room, smiling and blushing like an idiot. Again, a response I couldn't help. But he was so cute, trying to fit his tiny body on that stupid couch. Why on earth he wouldn't just sleep in his bed, I couldn't figure out.

I picked up the pillows off the floor and tossed them on the chair. I bit my lip, and walked closer to him. He looked so cozy... his left arm over his eyes, his right hand on his stomach, his fingers dipping into his jeans... Left leg over the arm of the couch, while his right was on the floor...

Holding my breath, I took a chance and laid down over him, and absorbed his warmth. He smelled so good, and I had longed for the comfort of a male -- him, more-less. I nuzzled against his chest, and shut my eyes.

I'm not sure how long we laid there. I didn't care. And that thought terrified me.

I felt myself drifting away, and he suddenly jumped. His hands found my arms and he sat us up, looking like he'd seen a ghost.

"What?" I asked, my heart pounding through my chest. "Are you okay?"

"What are you doing?" he asked, exasperated.

"Uh... I got back with the groceries and I saw you were napping and-"

"I meant on me."

I bit my lip, shrugging, "You looked... warm?"

Jake groaned and moved me off his legs, before turning and climbing off the couch.

"What's the matter?" I frowned, despite myself. "We used to sleep on the couch and stuff all the time."

"Again, it's my house and this is different."

"We used to cuddle on _this _couch!"

"It's _different_," he growled, heading into the kitchen.

I nodded, biting my lip. This is why I shouldn't tell him. He didn't see me like I saw him.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Jake stayed in the garage while I cooked. I didn't go in there because he had Cady, his white wolf, with him.

Most of the unique stuff in this house, he's made himself. The coffee table, the dining room and living room chairs, the barstools, end tables, cabinet finishes on the fridge to match the kitchen, the foyer doors, the banisters and railings, Cady's 'wolf' house, which was quite similar to the outside of this one, but smaller, bookshelves... the list went on and on. He's a handyman in his spare time. Currently working on some patio chairs.

I put on some _Ray Lamontage_, lit some candles around the house, and dimmed the lights, because there were too many of them on. I tried to ignore the fact that it looked romantic. Opening the garage door, I shouted, "Fifteen more minutes, and it'll be already."

"Sounds and smells good!" he shouted as he clanked stuff around. I couldn't see him.

I grinned and shut the door before heading to his room. I wanted to pick out something cute to change into. While I was digging through my bag of clothes, my phone rang. It was Emmett. Again. I bit my lip, answering it, "Hello?"

"Finally, she picks up."

"Sorry, been busy," I lied, tossing my curling iron on the bed.

"I'll bet, what are you doing tonight?"

"Not sure, why?"

"Thought you might wanna come out to my dad's club..."

"Uhhh... is anyone else coming?"

"I haven't asked yet. Why?"

"Because I don't want to go unless everyone else goes."

"Why, need someone to hold your hand and make your decisions for ya?"

I smirked, shaking my head, "Yep Emmett, that's exactly it. You got me."

"I'm serious. You have hardly talked to me since we... yeah... and... I don't get it, exactly. What have I done wrong?"

Sighing heavily in annoyance, I rolled my eyes, "Maybe... having sex with you put things into perspective for me?"

"What, do you regret it or somethin'? Because... you know, I happen to remember quite a few moments when-"

"Emmett. Don't go there."

"Come on, I'm trying to get you to laugh."

"It's not working."

He sighed, and it got silent.

"Emmett?"

"Hmm."

"Stop wasting my minutes. Talk if you're gonna talk."

"So does that mean you're not coming out?"

"Not by myself. Why don't you ask that blonde girl you've been hanging with?"

"She's already here."

"See? You won't be going home alone tonight. No worries."

"That wasn't my concern."

"Of course not. I've gotta go. I'm cooking dinner for Jake and I."

Emmett scoffed, "I see. You two are quite domestic these days, aren't ya? If I didn't know any better, I'd think that you two were fuck bu-"

"Okay, I got to go. Talk to you later." I hung up, despite him asking me to hold on in the receiver. I wasn't in the mood to deal with him.

Resting my hands on my hips, I stared down at my cute dress choices. I twirled my hair around my finger, bouncing around... _should I? Would he notice? What if I just went in there naked? That'd make this shit so much easier. _I bit my lip, and decided to take a chance. I threw on my strapless, cream summer dress. The top was a crepe material, ending just below my bust, and trailing into loose waves, which ended a few inches above my knee. I strapped on some short gold heels, added some eyeliner, blush, and mascara, and ran my fingers through my hair, creating gentle beach-like waves. Satisfied with my appearance, I misted some Victoria's Secret, Dream Angels Desire perfume on my pulse points, and took a breath for luck. Then I headed to the kitchen to finish dinner.

I barely had the wine poured as he walked in. My jaw hit the ground... normally, I tried to keep myself together and blow stuff off, but damn... There is nothing sexier than a man wearing a plain white t-shirt and jeans, with grease smudges around his hands, a few swipes below his facial hair, and on his clothes.

I struggled for air as he wiped his feet and galloped up the steps to the kitchen. "Is it ready?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Okay, let me just wash up, and I'll be right back. Smells good."

_Don't... don't wash up... let me help you if you do..._ "Okay," I whispered, still nodding.

I slouched down in the chair at the dining room table and dropped my chin in my hand, staring at my baked pork chops, tossed salad, and baked potatoes. He hadn't even noticed what I was wearing. I mean, I wanted to be nonchalant about it... but I still wanted him to notice.

A few minutes later, he was back, with grease smudges gone, and a fresh black shirt. He kept his jeans on, and was now barefoot. "Whooo, it smells good in here."

"Thank you," I said, watching him sit down.

He looked me over quickly, and cleared his throat, "You didn't have to... go all out."

"Oh no," I insisted, shaking my head, "I didn't."

"Oh... okay," he looked around the glowing candles, dim lighting, wine glasses, as he absorbed the soft music in the background. A grin started to form on his lips, "Are you... sure you didn't?"

"Just trying to save energy by not keeping the lights and television on," I lied, smiling over at him.

He smirked and nodded, placing some food on my plate for me, "That dress new?"

"Uh... I've had it for a while, just never worn it."

"So it's new."

"I guess."

"Cool."

"How's your chair making thing going?" I asked, trying to seductively bring my fork to my lips.

His eyes briefly trailed to my tongue rubbing the prongs, and then snapped back to me, "Fine."

"If you ever... need any help... I'm pretty hands on."

He chuckled below his breath and sipped his wine, "I'll remember that."

"Please do."

He looked up at me through his lashes while he cut through his food. I kept my chin on my hand, trying my hardest to not look obvious, but still be seductive.

"Are you okay?"

"Mmhmm," I replied, batting my lashes slowly.

"Do you need me to help you cut your f-"

"No. I'm fine. Thank you."

"Not trust your own cookin'?" he teased, taking a bite.

I shrugged my shoulders. _ I like to watch you eat_, I thought.

"Mmm," he hummed in approval, before swallowing. "Wonderful, Rosalie."

"I'm glad you like it."

"Oh, I love everything you cook, but this... this is fantastic. Best yet."

I grinned and stood up, walking slowly around the table toward him. "Jake," I cooed, running my hands up his back, toward his neck, "I feel bad that you're sleeping on the couch... plus you had to get up early, been running errands, and then working in the garage... you're probably really... tense." I massaged his shoulders, biting my lip to stop smiling.

I felt him tense a little, proving my point. "You don't... have to do that, I'm fine."

"I insist," I whispered in his ear, tempted to kiss on his neck. He allowed me to do it for a few moments, then appeared to be uncomfortable suddenly, so I stopped and sat back down in my seat.

My eyes found his, and he seemed... distracted. _Just tell him, Rose. Tell him how you feel, get it out in the open. The worse that can happen is he stops being your best friend and never talks to you again... not that bad, right? _I scoffed.

He sipped half of his wine down, watching me slowly chew.

I swallowed, feeling my heart stop. His eyes were so pretty...

I shook my head and got him laughing, telling him about my embarrassing moments. Anything to get him to laugh. Then I spit out, "I think I like you as more than a friend. In fact, I think I love you. Like, _love you_, love you. Oh, and can you pass the pepper?"

He dropped his fork, and looked directly at me, lips parted slightly.

I nodded my head toward the table, "Can you, uh... pass... the pepper?"

He shook his head, stunned.

I bit my lip and mentally imagined me sticking my heel in my mouth. "Never mind, I'll get it," I said, reaching over.

His hand caught mine a few inches above the shaker. Our eyes connected, and I held my breath, while he exhaled his.

"I'm sorry," I said suddenly. "I shouldn't have said anything. Can you forget about it?"

He shook his head, still baffled.

Now I felt like a complete fool. I tried to pull my wrist from his hands, but had no luck. "Jake," I whispered, closing my eyes. "...I'm sorry."

"...How long have you felt this way?" _God he has such a sexy, scratchy voice._

I shrugged, looking to my lap, "A while now I guess... But I _really_ realized it about three weeks ago. Please don't hate me."

He still had my wrist in his hand, but rubbed his face with his right.

"I'm sorry," I said, finally able to pull my wrist away. I got out of the chair and twisted around, trying not to look at his face, "I'll just go get my things, and I'll go home. I'm really sorry."

I headed up the steps, and heard him moving. I sped up, just wanting to get out of there.

The faster, the better.

I shoved all my things in my bag, not caring what got wrinkled. I ran into his master bathroom, collecting my curling iron and make-up, then went back to grab my shoes.

When I had everything together, I twisted around, to find him standing in the doorway. The side of his head was pressed against the frame, his hands in his pockets, his legs crossed.

I bit my lip, walking toward him, "Excuse me."

He held out his arm, blocking my way.

"Jake," I said, exasperated, "please let me go."

"And why would I do that?"

"Because I've embarrassed myself enough for one day, ruined our friendship, and would like to just go home."

"What if I told you I feel the same way about you?"

"You don't," I chuckled, defeated.

"How do _you _know?" he asked, looking at me annoyed. _Great, I was already pissing him off._

"Because... I'm me."

"And?"

I sighed, "Because I'm me and you're you and we're friends and I'm stupid."

He scoffed, chuckling under his breath.

"Please Jake. Just let me go."

He shook his head.

"PLEASE," I begged, still not looking at his eyes.

He dropped his arm, looking toward me with a frown.

"Thank you," I whispered, closing my eyes.

I walked past him, but his hand caught my arm, and he yanked me back into his bedroom. My things were dropped and crashed onto the floor when he pushed me into the side of his dresser, and kissed me, hard. I gasped, my heart racing out of my body. His hands held my body against him completely, and there was no room for us to move. My fingers found his hair, crushing his face to mine.

I didn't care if he was kissing me to make me feel better about being a complete idiot. I just wanted him to keep pretending... _keep pretending you want me. _His tongue slid between my lips, and I pulled it all the way in, throwing my arms completely around his neck and yanking him down to my height. This felt too right... too crazy because it felt so right. _Don't you dare stop. Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop... _

His lips were incredible against mine... so full and soft... I hummed in appreciation of all things Jacob Black.

Eventually, he pulled away, looking at me with sparkles in his eyes. I grinned up at him, running my fingers through his hair.

"I love you in the same way," he said, jerking me hard to him, and pulling me into a strong hug. He rested his cheek on the side of my head, stroking my hair with his hand.

I pushed my face into his shoulder, holding on and hugging him tight, as I whispered, "...You do?"

I felt his hands run up and down my ribs, and he squeezed me tighter, "Yes... I've wanted you for so fucking long now... years even."

I blinked, shocked, "Y-you have?"

"Yes," he chuckled, exhaling. "I was too chicken shit to say anything about it. I thought I was going to lose you in my life."

I shook my head, fighting back tears.

He was holding on so tight...

I've never, ever had anyone just... hug me.

Really hold me...

Never.

Ever.

"I didn't want to lose you either," I gasped, unable to fight back tears anymore. They streamed down my face, soaking his shirt. "I thought you'd think I was stupid."

"I thought you'd think I was too young," he confessed. "But I'm not. I'm a man, and all I want to do is provide for you, and show you what you mean to me…"

I gripped the back of his shoulders, begging for him to never let me go. I didn't care if this was all a dream and I was going to wake up and be alone... I just wanted this moment. I just wanted to feel this complete for once.

I shut my eyes, sniffling. "I've only felt this whole with _you_, Jake... I'm realizing that now... maybe I've known it all along..."

He squeezed me tight, shaking his head as he pushed his face into my shoulder, "I only want to make you feel that way."

He pulled away, clasping my face in his hands. I shivered as his thumbs wiped away my tears and running mascara.

He took a deep breath, his eyes focusing on mine, "I want to be _yours_, Rose."

I giggled, wiping my nose with the back of my hand, "Is this really happening? You and me? Us?"

He grinned that award-winning smile at me, "If you let it, it is."

I nodded my head quickly, throwing my arms back around his neck for another hug, "I'm letting it. I'm _so _letting it."

Then, because he's typical Jake, he said,"And you're not going to change your mind tomorrow, or in five minutes, are you? Because I don't think my heart could take if if y-"

"No," I shook my head, enjoying this hug. "I'm not. I promise I won't." _I was so not going to change my mind. No, no, no, no._

"Good."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

We had dropped my mom off at her friend Julia's.

I stormed inside my house, slamming the door in Edward's face.

He quickly opened it and came inside, shutting it lightly.

"Stop it," I said, banging around my kitchen cabinets, searching for a glass.

"Stop what?"

"Stop doing what you're doing. I hate it."

"Okay, do you not want me to breathe?"

"NO!"

He laughed, leaning over my counter, "Bella you're being unreasonable."

"I am not."

"Yes you are. Stop it."

"Go away."

"What is it with all of you women telling me to '_go away'_?" he mused, grinning at me. "It's rather annoying."

"Well then take our advice," I spat, getting water out of the fridge. "Get."

"No," he said, still grinning. "I'm here to annoy you."

"Well... quit it!"

"Nope."

"YES, dammit!"

"Come on," he tilted his head. "You can do better than that. Get it all out."

I slammed my glass on the counter, glaring at him hard-core, "Fuck off."

"There," he smirked cockily. "That's better."

"Seriously, Edward. I'm not kidding."

"_Much _better... I like the feistiness. You're a spitfire, Isabella."

"QUIT IT!"

He laughed, clearly amused, "Bella, we're getting _married_. You're going to have to get used to me being here around you."

"Not when you're being an ass," I stormed past him, hitting his shoulder with mine.

He chuckled, stumbling back a few steps, "Temper, temper. I knew the eighth week was _'extreme pms symptoms' _during pregnancy but... damn."

"Shut the hell up," I shouted down the hall, tossing dirty clothes in the hamper.

He strolled inside, lying down on my bed, "Bella... please calm down."

"Oh, one minute you're telling me to get rowdy, now you're asking me to calm down?"

"Yes."

"Try to make sense Edward," I snapped, "I really can't keep up with your jargon."

I felt his hands surround my hips, and he pulled me onto the bed with him, my back to his chest. Then he rolled us over and flipped me around, so I was now on my back, and he was crouched over and looking down at me.

"Stop," he said.

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Just... stop."

I shut my eyes, still frustrated.

"Let it go."

"I can't," I whispered. "I'm sorry I cursed at you earlier, but I can't let this go."

"It's just money, baby. Let it go."

"Edward," I whined, sitting up and almost knocking him off my bed, "we spend all day searching through dumb houses, then I find the one I _really _want, and then we don't have the money for a down payment, if we decide to buy it! Not with all this baby stuff we gotta get, our bills we have now, my doctor's appointments coming up... It's my luck, I swear it. I hate this."

"Bella, all we have to do is get a loan, it's no big deal."

"I can't pay off another loan, Edward. I still have school loans to pay off and insurance and a car paym-"

"Okay, I can get the loan."

"No. You're not taking care of everything, Edward."

"I want to. It's my job, as your husband, to take care of you"

"So? I don't want you to, okay? I want to be an equal participant in our life we're trying to build."

"You _are _an equal participant. You're a built-in baby machine. I can't do that... that makes us even."

"Stop trying to joke about this. You're not funny. You think you are, but you're not."

"Oh, don't lie. You find me very amusing."

"I find you very annoying."

"Fine. You find me very annoying, but _highly _amusing. And," he whispered, dipping his head and looking at me, "quite charming... too."

I leaned toward him, eyeing him down, "Don't flatter yourself."

"You know it's true."

"Whatever."

"You know it's true girl... don't front."

I shook my head, turning away from him and trying not to smile. _ Dammit, he had me._

He knew it. He grinned, kissing my cheek, "We'll figure it out."

"I don't _want _to figure this out. I just want to snap my fingers and get what I want."

"Oh, wouldn't it be grand if life really worked that way?"

"Yes."

"Besides, what if... we find a house that you like better than that one?"

"I won't. It's the one. I _feel _it. Besides, any house we need requires a down payment we can't afford."

"I know," he sighed, pulling us back to lie down on the bed, "I loved that house too."

"See? It's fate. Why can't God realize it's fate and fucking give us what we want?"

"Because if we had everything we wanted, we'd be spoiled rotten brats."

"I don't ask for much. Just you, the house I want, enough money to get by, a healthy pregnancy, no one else to die in my family until I'm too old to realize it, and to go to Heaven after accomplishing lots of orgasms. What's wrong with that?"

He chuckled, rolling over on top of me, "Well, now that you mention _orgasms_... I think I can help you out in that department."

I tried to fight back my smile, but it didn't work. He looked so good being on top of me...

I grinned at him, shaking my head, "I'm supposed to be helping _you _out, remember? I _owe _you."

"Yes you do," he said, "wanna get to it then?"

I shook my head, "We're not doing what you want to do, I can tell you that right now."

"Bella," he whined, laying down and hugging me, "_please _just let me."

"No."

"Please?" he blinked adorably.

"Noooo."

"Yes."

"No. You're not doing it. Pick something else."

"I don't want anything else," he chuckled, sliding his hands in my shirt. "I just want that."

"Find something else, mister. Or I'll shut the doors and lock the legs down."

He snickered into my ear, "You wouldn't dare."

"You're right," I exhaled, throwing my legs around and pushing him to me, "I wouldn't. But you're still not getting that."

"I promise you'll get yours," he tried to bribe.

"I highly doubt it. I'll be in too much pain and in the hospital for a broken tail bone."

"Bella-"

"I'm serious!" I said, yanking his head back to make him look at me, "you're on the large size as it _is_. It's not going _there_, so stoppppp."

He grinned, running his fingers over my silk bra, "Fine. I'll stop talking about it today. But I'm gonna get it eventually."

I pushed him and rolled us over, straddling his legs, "How about I give you something to make you clear your mind instead?"

He threw his arms behind his head, getting comfortable beneath me, "What's that?"

I bit my lip and undid his jeans and pulled down the zip, "You know what."

He watched me pull my hair back into a messy ponytail, and couldn't help but keep grinning, "Ohhhhh, okay. Yeah, you're more than wel-"

"Shhh," I said, covering his mouth. "Don't ruin my concentration."

I tapped his bottom lip with my finger, before sliding down his legs. He watched me with eager eyes as I lowered his jeans and his boxers, and released him from his currently overbearing entrapments. I looked up at him through my lashes, grinning. _Now who's in control?_ Keeping my eyes locked on him, I stuck my tongue out and swirled it around the tip.

He smirked, biting his lip in anticipation.

I did it again.

Another smirk.

I smiled, before taking him into the heated parts of my mouth. I watched through my lashes as he focused down on me. I licked both of my palms and wrapped them around his base, before putting him in my mouth again.

"Damn," he exhaled lightly, shutting his eyes.

I began to use my tongue on the underneath of him, sucking gently as I locked and unlocked my lips tightly around his shaft. I kept my pacing the same, not too fast, nor excruciatingly slow... but each time, applying more pressure with my lips.

He breathed deeply, his lashes fluttering against his face, his fingers started to grip the covers against his sides.

I sucked really hard, pushing him back further.

"That feels good," he groaned lightly, and it spurred me on. His chest slowly heaved up and down, large breaths, and he'd look at me and close his eyes, then do it over and over again slowly... trying to decide which is better.

I picked up my pace, willing my gag reflex to diminish. I've never made it completely through it without gagging, no matter how hard I try... out of practice, perhaps? I wasn't sure. Regardless, I wanted to do that for him... wanted to make him feel the way he makes me feel when he pleasures me this way.

I held my breath and tried it, but as soon as it got to a certain part, I shuddered and had to pull back a little. I tried not to get frustrated with myself as I licked around the tip and continued rubbing with my hands. Edward's handsome face had a pink flush to his cheeks, and he seemed to be enjoying every single thing I was doing... but I wanted more. I wanted to give him more.

Again, I tried it, only to get to the same spot and gag again. I exhaled in frustration, pulling my mouth off.

He blew out a gust of air, and blinked his eyes open slowly, "A-are you okay?"

"I want to do it and I can't," I admitted, stroking him between my palms. I didn't feel guilty. I just wanted to freakin' do it.

"D-do what baby? You're doing excellent."

"Deep throat you."

"W-what?" he asked, a little stunned, perhaps.

"You heard me. Tell me how really quickly," I cooed seductively, rolling my shoulders around and allowing strands of my hair to fall on my face. "I want to. _Really _bad."

He rubbed his face, trying unsuccessfully to hide his grin. _Smart, arrogant, sexy man._

I bit my lip, slowing my strokes just enough so he wouldn't go before I wanted him to.

"O-okay," he said, inhaling, "uh... what you need to do is, breathe through your nose, and when you, uh, get to that part, breathe out with your mouth. It'll open your throat up more... that should help. And go slow, love."

I nodded, licking my lips, "Okay, I'll try it."

"Okay," he exhaled, smiling up at the ceiling.

I teased him a little with my tongue, before drawing him in hard between my lips. He gasped at how hard I was sucking, but I wanted him to feel some good sensations before I made my next attempt.

When I felt accomplished enough, I slowed down and moved him deeper. Once he hit my spot, I stopped, and forced an exhale through my throat, keeping him in place. He shuddered, making more soft moans. I decided to inch him closer, using my tongue suction and light teeth and lips. He blew out another gust of wind with each inch I got, until I gagged and had to pull back.

"God, Bella, that feels so _good_," he panted, chest rising in the air. "Try it again if you want."

I smiled and nodded, licking my lips. This time, I inched further, and his fingers found the covers again, bunching the fabric tightly. I felt him touch the back of my throat, and breathed in heavily, shutting my eyes. Then I pushed him another inch.

"Oh fuck," he gasped, his right hand now on my shoulder, despite his gentleman willpower he normally carries. "Please keep going."

I loved hearing him saying that... knowing I was making him feel good. I pushed further, keeping my tongue rubbing the underside of him. I felt him curving to slide down my throat, and, through trembling hands, I pushed him all the way down.

Suddenly, that gag reflex was gone and he was all the way there. I could hear him breathing extra-heavily and seductively now, and it made me want to do it over again. So I pulled him out slightly, and pushed him back in.

"Oh Christ," he gasped. _Oh it is so on. _ I pulled him all the way out and pushed him all the way in, enjoying each grunt and moan and groan he was making... my pace started to quicken with each thrust of my head, my hands, or his involuntarily hips... Occasionally, his fingers would find the ends of my hair, but he never allowed himself to push me or pull me, though I wouldn't have minded.

It didn't take long at that angle, before he was shuddering and telling me he was close. I swore, doing this for him, was almost orgasmic for myself. He was so hot and beautiful, panting and breathing and squirming around. His eyes watching me at times, then fluttering shut... a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, and how his jacket was flapped open on the bed, and his shirt stuck to his firm abs slightly... HE WAS GORGEOUS and I loved doing this for him this time, more than anytime before.

Because I, Isabella, was doing it the way I always wanted to do it to him. _FINALLY_!!

"C-close," he said, pushing my shoulders back. I gripped his hips and held myself down, having none of that. I worked my hands, spinning around and gliding up and down, and my mouth, pushing him all the way in, suction on the tongue, light teeth grazing when I pulled him almost all the way out, and hard lip action when I pushed him back inside...

_I was a genius! A smug, proud, genius._ His breathing became more and more erratic and he shuddered, trying to warn me once more. I pushed him all the way in and he gasped, gripping the tops of my shoulders. Then I started to hum. Finally, he released, letting out the single sexiest noise I had ever heard from him. I made sure he was at the back of my throat during this, so it'd feel the best. I swallowed anything that came out, pretty satisfied that it wasn't that disgusting, like I thought it'd be.

"Fuck Bella," he threw his head back when he finally started to come down, relaxing into my mattress, "that was fucking excellence."

I grinned, kissing up his stomach, to his neck, "Yeah?"

"Yes. You're a master at that."

"Mmmm, yay," I giggled, licking his earlobe, "that's good, because..." I leaned into his ear, whispering, "I plan to do that a lot now."

"Oh, be my guest, please. I won't stop you... ever... _ever _stop you." He massaged my back as I lay on top of him, nuzzling into his scent, "Bella, I love you so much. Really. And not just because you're the best at that or anything, though again, that was fantastic... but because you're you. Asking me how to do that, and being determined, instead of insecure... that was so sexy."

I giggled, reaching to the side of my bed and throwing the free part of the covers over us, "Can we stay here tonight?"

"At your house?"

"Mmhmm. If we buy a house, I won't be here much longer... and we're always at your place... I'd like to sleep in my bed again... and maybe share it with you."

"Of course Angel," he kissed the top of my head, "no problem."

"Do you think your babies will be all right without us?"

"_Our _babies," he corrected me. "And no, they'll be fine. I'm sure Alice will be there to take them out."

"Okay."

We laid in silence, hugging each other.

I almost drifted off to sleep.

"Hey Bella?"

"Mmm?"

"You know that I was just teasing about the whole ass thing, right? I mean, yeah, I want to try it, but I'd never pressure you into it. Not actually. You know that, right?"

I nodded, "Of course, silly. That's why you're you, and I love you."

"Good. Just makin' sure. I'd never want to upset you."

"You never will."

He scoffed, pulling me higher on him and rolling us over, so we were side to side, face to face. "Bella?"

"Yeah," I said, opening my eyes to look at him.

"Please don't think I'm perfect... I fuck up. Still. Just because you and I are together... that doesn't mean I won't do stupid shit, okay?"

I nodded, shutting my eyes, "No problem. You're human, I know."

"Okay... just so you know..."

"I understand," I said, reaching up blindly to stroke through his copper locks.

Again, I was half way asleep, when his cell phone started vibrating beneath my leg that was hitched over his. He groaned, fishing it out of his pocket. He blinked at the screen, then hit a button, and shut his eyes.

"Who was it?"

"No one," he said, pulling me to him. "Let's take a nap."

"Edward, who was it?" I asked gently.

"Uh... really, no one," he kissed my forehead. "No one of importance. Will you take a nap with me?"

"Sure," I whispered.

But I didn't feel right... and I couldn't fall asleep.

I waited until he was asleep, before reaching over behind him and flipping open his cell phone.

I scrolled through his recent calls, praying the beeping sound on his phone wouldn't wake him up. All he did was hold me tighter to him.

Finally, I found it, and looked at it. All was programmed was, "A.D."

I furrowed my brows, trying to think of any of his friends whose initials were A.D.

...I came up with nothing.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I had a long ass day.

I yawned, using the key Alice gave me to unlock the door to their apartment.

The dogs didn't wake up when I entered... Cora on the floor beside the couch... Spendor Jameson in the recliner.

"Alice," I called out, strolling through the kitchen.

No answer.

"Sweetheart? You here?"

I strolled through the condo, checking a few other rooms... still no Alice.

I swung open her bedroom door, but she wasn't there either.

But her purse was on her nightstand, and she never, ever leaves without that thing.

"Alice?" I called again, entering the room.

The condo was hauntingly quiet, and I shuddered as goosebumps crossed my arms.

It was too quiet...

Too quiet for her.

And she wasn't sleeping, so where was she?

"Sweetheart? Are you here?" I asked again, checking her bathroom.

She wasn't there.

I pursed my lips, suddenly feeling really nervous.

Spendor woke up and groggily hopped off the chair, following me around as I inspected the place more thoroughly.

"Where is she?" I asked him, reaching down to pat his head. "Where's your... aunt?"

He yawned and lay on the floor, ignoring my question.

"I hear ya buddy, I'm tired too." I entered the hall, toward Edward's bedroom.

I wasn't sure why she'd be there, but I figured I may as well check.

"Baby? Hey, Alice, you in here?"

I knocked and opened the door, preparing to see Bella.

The room was empty.

I started to shut the door, and then noticed a light coming from beneath the crack of his bathroom.

I strolled over there and knocked on the door, "Hello?"

I heard a gasp and something fall into the something, like a sink.

"Jasper?"

"Yeah babe. I'm here. Sorry I'm late... What are you doing in Edward's bathroom?"

"Uh... my toilet wasn't acting right, it's having trouble f-flushing, so... I'll be right out."

"Are you okay?"

"Mmhmm," she insisted too quickly. "I'll be right out."

"Can I come in?"

"No! I'm still... using the bathroom."

"Okay," I said, sitting on the bed.

A few minutes later, I heard the toilet flush, and she opened the door.

She looked rough, I wasn't going to lie. Oversized pajamas, hanging past her feet and hands... dark circles beneath her eyes... Way worse than this morning when I left.

"Whoa," I stood up, walking over to her, "are you sick?"

She scoffed and shook her head, not letting me hug her all the way.

"Are you sure? You look... a bit sickly."

"I'm fine," she insisted overbearingly. "Let's go watch some television."

"Okay, well I have to piss real quickly before we do."

"You can use my bathroom, come on."

"But I thought you said your toilet wasn't working right?"

She bit her lip, looking down at the carpet in Edward's bedroom, "Yeah, I did... Okay, well, hurry up. I'll get the television going."

I kissed her forehead and swatted her butt playfully, before entering the bathroom and shutting the door.

Edward's bathroom was fucking huge.

_Go figure._

I took a piss, looking around for anything metal that could have been the sound I heard... what would be metal and make that noise, but not too heavy?

I waited to flush and headed toward the sink. There was nothing in it.

_Was I imagining it?_

No... no, it was something... but what?

I exhaled and opened his medicine cabinet.

_Damn, he has a lot of prescriptions. _

I tried not to be nosy and read the labels, passing through Band-Aids and white tape.

I started to shut the door, but something caught my eye, and I stopped, opening it back up again.

Pulling the quizzical item out, I inspected the edges...

_No fucking way._

It had red on it... red... like...

I dropped the item in the sink, and it made the same clunking noise that I heard from the other side of the door, only this time, echoing louder.

I held my breath, rubbing my face.

_Don't start assuming shit... don't start assuming shit..._

I growled into my hands, walking around in a circle.

When that didn't work, I tried to control my breathing.

When that didn't work, I-

"Jasper?" Alice asked, knocking on the door. "Are you all right?"

"Uh, yeah, be right out," I said, reaching over and flushing the toilet with my trembling hand.

I tried to regain my senses, but it didn't work.

I was too pissed off. And scared shitless.

I held my breath and swung open the door, looking down to my wide-eyed girlfriend.

"Are... you okay?"

I shook my head, swallowing deep.

"Is something the m-"

I raised the object up, and her eyes bounced to it, and her lips parted.

I waited.

She looked from that slowly, up to me, "What's the matter?"

"What the fuck is this?"

She shrugged, shaking off her expression and putting a mask over it, "It's Edward's, how should I know?"

"I think you do."

She crossed her arms over her chest, taking a few steps back, "What are you saying, Jasper?"

"Why is there blood on it, Alice?"

"He does shave with it, Jazz..."

"FRESH BLOOD, Alice," I hissed through my teeth, stepping closer to her.

She backed away, until her calves hit the bed.

She looked scared of me.

_Good._

She needed to be.

Because I was on fire.

"Is this from you? Is this what I think this is?" I spat at her.

She shook her head quickly, "It's Edward's. I just used the bathroom."

"Don't you lie to me, Alice."

"I-I'm not."

"So you weren't using this to f-"

"No, Jasper, I wasn't. Don't be dumb."

"Then don't _play_ dumb. Show me your arms."

"WHAT?"

"Show 'em Alice, don't _fucking _play with me."

"Why are you acting all crazy? Why can't you just trust me?!"

"Because I love you and I am concerned for you!"

She started to curse at me and storm away, but I tossed the straight-edge razor on the floor and grabbed her.

"QUIT IT!" she shouted, but because she was fighting and forcing so hard, I had no choice but to hold her down on the bed.

Eventually, I got a hold of her sleeves, and yanked it down. _Just as I suspected_. I sat up, my mouth hanging open. Two fresh cuts, not strong enough to do damage, but enough to inflict pain were visible on her arms. I glanced up, to see her angered eyes filled with tears, "Alice... why would you do this?"

She pushed me away and slid toward Edward's headboard, messing up his covers, "Because you said I was _fat_."

"WHAT? I never said that!"

"Yes you did! This morning!"

"Alice I never s-"

"_'Oh dear God Alice, you about knocked the wind out of me'," _she quoted harshly. "You're a fat cow."

"I didn't say that like that! I never said that second part at all! But you hit my diaphragm this morning; it had nothing to do with your weight! You're a freakin' twig!"

"Just leave it alone, I'm fine, okay? I didn't even cut deep. Barely scrapes, okay? Drop it!"

Suddenly, flashes started hitting my head...

_Alice plucking the buns of her food... Alice suggesting shopping when the girls were eating... Alice not eating today... or barely eating any time... or lying and saying she ate earlier... Alice always having energy, by far more energy than anyone else -- but where was she getting it? Pills? -- Alice always wearing thick bracelets or things to cover her arms..._

All at once, everything hit me...

She had weight issues... and when she felt insulted, she harms herself... it's an intermittent problem... not something that happens daily, or even regularly...

_Did anyone else know about this?_

I reached over to turn her arm to inspect for past scars, but she jerked it away and held it to her chest.

"Get out, Jasper."

I shook my head, reaching toward her.

"I SAID GO!"

"Alice..." I whispered. "I love you... let me help you. You don't understand, I-"

"I don't need help. Just get out."

I tried to stroke her cheek, but she swatted my hand away, and scurried off Edward's bed.

"Let yourself out."

"I'm not leaving you alone. Trust me, I know what you're g-"

"I don't want you here."

"I don't care if you want me here because I'm not leaving you alone right now. We need to talk about this."

"Jasper," she scoffed, shaking her head. "I don't _want _to talk with you about this. I don't want to _see _you right now. I don't want you to look at me, all speculative and whatever else... you don't know any part about this... so just GET OUT."

I stood up, walking toward her, "Please."

"Don't _please _me right now. Just go."

I nodded, taking a deep breath.

She opened the door for me, and motioned with her hand for me to exit, "I guess this means you take back the _'i love you' _right?"

I shook my head, "I do love you and I don't want to leave you."

"It's okay. Everyone leaves, Jasper. That's how it is with me. No one sticks it out."

"I'm not everyone."

"Yeah, you're not... but you will be."

"No I won't."

"Then I'm making you," she said, before pushing me out and slamming the door in my face.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 25!**

**-- :( Please don't hate me for the way this chapter ends. I know it's a shock, and this isn't meant for "ratings" or "reviews"... This is something that's been planned out for awhile and I've been holding it off... if you look back in past chapters, you will find tiny clues of her eating habits and the way she always feels unloved, and how she felt everyone over looked her... not to mention rejections and everything.  
But I didn't want to add it in so quickly, because I wanted you guys to realize that when I meant everyone discovering who they are as individuals, I really did mean EVERYONE...  
Not just Edward and Bella are going to have problems. They are all relatable issues that people really go through... but I promise, I won't drag anything on and over-do it. But Alice needed this storyline to build and build until it explodes, and I really wanted to wait until she had Jasper and a support system before I pulled the plug on her...  
**

**- The thing "154 bright sunny" is an internal joke between Edward and his co-workers that will be explained in a future chapter. Don't wreck your brains trying to figure it out!  
**

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* * *

  
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**-- Baby Names: It was a very close, tight call, but the girl name has been chosen. I will leave it to my secret vault in my head for now...  
Now we're on the boy names.**

**So ****PICK ONE NAME**** that you like the ****VERY BEST**** and put it at the bottom of your review!! Choose from the past ones you've chosen. (Please don't suggest anything that isn't on the list!)  
Again, some have been suggested more than once. Using full first names, so if yours is missing, it's probably a nick-name for something else.**

**Here we go:****  
Anthony, Adam, Aiden, Alexander, Archie, Aaron, Asher, Ashton, Andrew, Angel, Aizah, Austin  
Brennan, Benjamin, Braden, Baden, Beck, Blaise, Brent, Bryton  
Charles, Charlie, Caleb, Cameron, Conner, Caden, Carter, Carson, Cale, Christian, Christopher  
David, Dryden, Darien  
Edward, Eathan, Everett, Evan, Elais, Elijah  
Felix, Finn  
Gregory, Gave, Gabriel, Grayson  
Hayden, Henry  
Isaac  
Jason, John, Joseph, Jeremy, Jenson, Julian, Jackson, Joshua, Jacob, Justin, Jack, Jaden, Jesse, Jayden  
Kingston, Kristopher, Kyle, Keiren  
Lewis, Liam, Logan, Landon, Lucas, Linden  
Michael, Matteo, Matthew, Masson, Maxxie, Malechai  
Noah, Nicholas  
Owen  
Paul, Preson, Prometheus  
Quil, Quenton  
Ryan (Rian), Robert, Riley, River, Rae, Reed  
Sebastian, Seth, Slater, Shane  
Taylor, Travis Tristan, Timothy, Thomas, Todd, Tate, Trenton  
William, Wesley (Weslee)  
Zachary (Zach, Zacharia)**

**Reviews are better than accomplishing our feminine goals of mastering deep throat success (sorry baby, I'm still working on it, haha) :D**


	26. Finding Faith

**PLEASE REVIEW!**!  
To my **Readers**, thank you for everything. Even when something upsets you in this story with a character at times, you still stick with me, and that means the world to me. Please know that. Oh, and PLEASE come and chat with us on the Twilighted Forums. They got 2 sneak peeks of this chapter, wink wink! (Link in my profile)

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Two-parts in one. Continuance of CH 25, and then moving on, 4 weeks later.  
We meet Ryan, Bella's coworker, and see how they interact more on their jobs. Edward meets an interesting person, Alice and Jasper figure out a way to communicate, Emmett makes a few realizations about how you can't just snap your fingers and get what you want, and Rosalie and Jacob push it to the limit.  
NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW NSFW  
(Do I need to even mark these as not suitable for work anymore?? I'm sure you guys know me by now. Lemons are a MUST in this story!! If you don't like them, please skip over them.)  
New pictures in profile!**

**---- NO BETA THIS CHAPTER; PLEASE EXCUSE ANY/ALL ERRORS. ---**

**  


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**

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.  
Lying on the floor, surround me, surround me.  
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late... you found me... you found me."  
The Fray, "You Found Me"**_

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**Chapter Twenty-Six: Finding Faith**

**EdwardPOV**

It took us more than thirty minutes, from the moment I got the call, to get to downtown Seattle. This is why I lived in the city. Everywhere around it took forever. When Bella and I arrived outside my apartment, I could see Jasper sitting down, his back leaned against the door, his head cradled in his hands. The boy looked wrecked.

"Jasper!" Bella gasped, bending down to him, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, she won't let me in," he replied, exhausted. "and now she's not even talking to me anymore. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for calling so late, I didn't know who else to tur-"

"You did the right thing," I said, as he moved out of the way.

I opened the door with my key and we all barged in, to an echoey, pitch black, shades drawn apartment. The dogs weren't even making noises. I motioned for the two of them behind me to stay where they were, and Jasper started to argue with me, but Bella quickly grabbed a hold of him and told him to trust me. I quietly walked forward through the living room. My heart was trying to escape out of my mouth, and I swallowed back the thoughts of fear that crossed through my mind.

This wasn't the first time that Alice had gotten this down on herself. The last time was back when I hit my lowest point. We were there for each other then, and I was going to be there for her again. I fucking knew something was up this morning, and I let it slide. I shouldn't have.

"Edward," Bella whispered, nervously.

"Shhh," I replied, opening the door to Alice's bedroom. Spendor was there, laying on her messed up bed. There were clothes thrown around all over the floor, a few shirts shredded with a pair of scissors. A glass of punch was spilled over the nightstand, soaking the latest fashion magazine in red color.

Alice wasn't in her bedroom, or bathroom. Jasper, with the death grip help of Bella, stood outside the door as I walked from her bedroom to mine.

My room was untouched from the last time I was in, other than my bed, which looked like someone had wrestled around on it.

The light was on beneath my bathroom door. I knew it would be locked.

I walked over to Bella, and pulled the bobby pin from her hair, and then turned to Jasper, "She's fine, I promise. I'm going to get the door open."

"You've done that before? Broken in to something?" he whispered, walking besode me toward the dim light on the ground.

I smirked, and nodded. _You have no idea what I've done before_, I thought.

It took me a few moments to pick the lock, because I knew if I made any type of noise, she'd startle behind the door, and be more reluctant to let us in.

Once it was cracked, I pushed the door open with my finger, hoping to find the best.

There was a broken light on my mirror. Vomit in my toilet. But worse... There my best friend was, broken and crying on the floor, in her raggy pajamas that she hadn't worn since her last incident.

Jasper ran to her, trying to hug her. She resisted, pushing him away with her left hand, as she laid on her right side. He tried again. Same thing.

After a few more attempts, and then a few attempts of trying to talk to her, pick her up, and whatever else, he gave up

I sat on my knees, and then rolled over on my left side, facing her. She looked almost battered, as she clenched the side of her fist over her purplish tinted lips.

I motioned with my eyes for Jasper to trust me, then slid forward, edging my way closer to her.

Once I was a few inches from her face, I took a silent breath through my nose, and willed her to open her eyes.

She did.

"Alice," I whispered, lifting my hand and brushing her hair out of her eyes.

The look she gave me expressed lost. Sorrow. Emptiness. Abandonment.

I tucked the hair behind her ear, and rested my palm on her cheek. Her face was chilled. Skin clammy.

"Alice," I whispered again, inching even closer, until my torso touched the arms that were bent in front of her chest.

We laid in silent for a few moment.

Then she spoke. "I slipped."

I gave her a nod, trying to keep my face calm, "I see that."

Words.

The exact same words, only in reverse, that were spoken between she and I, in this very bathroom. Back when it was me that did the slipping.

"I didn't mean to," she whispered, her voice barely over a single octave, as tears fell from the corners of her eyes, onto my cold, tiled floor. "But... I couldn't shake it. M-my thoughts."

"Edward, do I need to call the d-"

"No Bella," I said soothingly, not taking my eyes off of my best friend. "We're fine."

Jasper started to speak, his lips falling open from my peripheral vision, but he snapped his lips closed, rubbing her back and neck in silence.

"And do you know what I thought?" she blinked, more tears falling down the bridge of her beautiful nose, "W-when I cut?"

"What's that?"

"I thought," she exhaled, closing her eyes, "I wish _you _were here... slipping with me... that way I wouldn't have to be alone," she covered her face, sobbing into her tiny hands.

I pressed my heart to her arms, and put my hands on her back, pulling her to me a little bit, "you're not alone."

"Yes I am."

I kissed her forehead, "how can you be alone when I'm here with you?"

"It's different," she shook her head, voice so low it was cracking. "It's all different now... you're changed. You're not going back."

"Oh yeah?"

I turned, looking at my beautiful girl, who was nervously chewing off the remaining fingernails she didn't get to in the car on the way here. "Bella," I whispered to her, "I need you to do me a favor, and please do not ask any questions. Can you do that?"

She nodded.

"I want you to go to my night stand, on the side that I sleep on. The drawer toward the carpet, pull that out. Grab everything that's inside of it. Okay? _Everything_."

She took off, and as I stroked through Alice's hair and gave Jasper a warm smile, I listened as the drawer was opened... followed by silence.

I knew that was coming.

A few moments later, Bella walked inside, cradling a square 10x10 mirror to her chest. She started to question me, but then did as I asked, as she handed it to me.

I gave Alice and I a few inches of space, and sat the mirror face up between us, followed by the short, thick, clear straw, and the baggie of white powder.

On top of the baggie was numbers, 1023, in smudged black marker. The last date I used. I didn't write the year because it wasn't important to me. Just that day.

I think Jasper and Bella were both close to having heart failure as I tapped the straw on the mirror, watching the remaining bits of white powder fall on to the face.

I rested my head back to the tile, and looked over at Alice, "you're _not _alone. If... breaking yourself is what you choose, then you need to know... whether or not I take this drug is not going to break me... because if you lose half of yourself, you take half of me with you. We're a team, you and me. We've always been a team."

She shook her head quickly, "no, we're not. You're so much better than me, Edward. You're so much stronger, and happier..."

I didn't want to hear that shit. She kept talking, as I leaned toward the mirror and started to hold the straw beneath my nose.

Alice quickly stopped, screaming, "NO, NO!" the same time Bella did, both sets of hands on my shoulders.

I froze, looking directly at Alice, "the next time I hear you say things like that," I whispered, "I'm going to take this. You crash, I crash. No one is better than you. It's all in your head."

She shook her head, "it isn't."

"Yes. It is," I said gentle but firmly.

She shook her head again, and I licked my finger and pressed on the coke. Again, they screamed, "NO!", this time Jasper chiming in on the fight.

"Please stop," Alice whimpered. "Don't do this, I know you don't want to do it, Edward... Don't fail because of me."

"Alice, if you fail, then I do too. What don't you _get _about this? If I don't help you, whether it is one way or the other, then I _do _fail."

"No," she sobbed. "I can't... y-you can't. You don't want to-"

"You don't think I want this?" I asked, exasperated. "Trust me, Alice. I _want _this. Still. It's a constant battle, that's why I keep it here in the house. There's a million and one demons outside these walls that make me want to do drugs again. It can be... images in my mind, voices on the television, couples in the street, grandparents at the supermarket, a phone call from my father, seeing my ex with her new boyfriend... the list goes on and on and on and on. With every day turned, I can find a new excuse to take it... This... fucking addiction... it never fully goes away..."

She started to shake her head and deny it, but I didn't want to hear it. So I kept talking, "But then I think of the things you told me back when I was the weak one and you were the strong person... You said to me, '_One bullet takes out two people, at least'_. That stuck with me... I keep this shit in my drawer, to remind myself why I am better than it. Just as I'm sure there are shit in your room that you keep, to see your improvement. That's how we cope. That's how we grow..."

"I don't want to do this anymore," she cried, as Jasper lay behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist. She was pinned between us now. "I don't want to feel this alone... I don't want to feel like I am conquered. I need help."

"You'll never be conquered. Not with Jasper, who loves you more than his last breath, and me, who loves you just as much... you have support here."

I motioned for Bella to come closer to me with my hand. She was hesitant, her wide, tearful eyes eyeing down the mirror, as it was the force of my once-demise.

I held my breath, half expecting her to run away, thinking it was too much, that I was a lost cause, and that she couldn't be with me. I half expected her to tell me what a loser I was for keeping it in this house, and how pathetic I was... how she didn't believe I changed, ...so when she knelt beside me and then lay with her forehead pressed between my shoulder blades... I was stunned.

And overwhelmed with joy. She wasn't judging me... and because her heart grew wider as she accepted my demons, my love for her grew as well. I never even knew that was possible.

I fought to keep myself together, as the four of us lay on the floor.

No one said a word.

Now that Alice admitted she didn't want to do this, we didn't need to say anything.

Her demons didn't take her over this time. Not today. They barely skimmed her surface.

And I was proud of her for letting us in.

As Bella held onto me, I held Alice's hands, and Jasper held onto her, I pressed my forehead to my best friend's, and began to hum, _'Hallelujah' _by _Leonard Cohen _softly.

It relaxed her... just as it relaxed me, back when she did it when I needed it.

Because, despite the fact that Bella was my entire world, Alice was my everything as well, just in a different way... and we _were _a fucking team.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

We laid on that bathroom floor for countless hours. I couldn't even begin to think about how long it was.

I couldn't think about anything... seeing Alice on the floor with her battles, and Edward on the floor with his own, and how they need each other, it went right into my left ear and out of my right. Somewhere, in the darkened, back part of my brain, it registered... just as thoughts of my dads' deaths, of my own past, of the baby, of our relationship now, of not being there for him, of him not being there for me, of how we're here now... it just kept filling and filling, but nothing actually made it to the front part of my brain.

That part was blank.

After the sun came up, when Alice crashed, in the arms of the three of us, Jasper carried her to her bedroom. I couldn't imagine what thoughts were in his own head... he had lost a friend to suicide when he was a freshman at his school. I think his name was Jenson... the guy was a lost case, cutting, drinking, depression, anxiety, drugs... but Jasper never gave up on him. Jasper was the first person to find him, because he didn't show up to school that day, so Jasper cut out to go to his house. Jasper never told me how he killed himself... but I know it changed him a lot. He doesn't drink that much. He's more light-hearted about things. Loves everyone. He tries to avoid conflict. He decided to become a teacher one day, so he could give kids an outlet if they needed it... That's what made me fall into Jasper so easily. I knew he'd change the world one day.

Edward turned to me, dusting off my jeans, "will you help me do something?"

I nodded.

He held out his hand for me, and I took it, allowing him to pull me toward the toilet. He lifted the seat, and handed me the baggie, that still had the corner filled with drugs. "Dump it."

I bit my lip, looking up at him.

"I swear, I haven't used it in a long time... and I only kept it as a reminder of what I overcame... but I don't need it anymore. I have you, and that is reminder enough. So... I want you to dump it out."

"Okay," I whispered, opening the baggie.

We watched as it all poured into the toilet, mixed with water and vomit from Alice.

Then he tossed the straw in, and we flushed down the waste of their demons.

After that, he threw the baggie and the mirror in the trash can, and we laid on his bed.

He pulled me tight in his arms, pressing his chin to the top of my head, "Bella... you amaze me."

"How's that?"

"I thought you would have head for the door when you saw it."

"No," I shook my head quickly, stroking my hand along his stomach beneath his shirt, "I'd never leave you."

He hugged me tighter, exhaling into my hair, "I hope you don't look at me-"

"I don't."

"Because I-"

"Edward," I giggled. "I don't. Trust me."

"Bella, I need to tell you something. I was going to tell you anyway, but now that this has happened, I really need to just get it out. I don't want any secrets between us."

"Okay..."

"And... I want you to know that I am coming to you, not having you ask me about it later, okay? I'm trying to avoid a conflict."

For some reason, I felt completely calm. Not nervous, like I used to be, "There won't be one. What is it?"

"I heard you going through my phone earlier. I wasn't asleep."

I shut my eyes, tensing in his arms, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not upset. I know why you did it."

I stayed silent.

"You wanted to see who called me and why I didn't tell you."

"Yes," I admitted.

"Okay... it was a girl. Her name is Aimee Denson."

"Okay..." I furrowed my brows.

"She works with me, at the hospital. She was the nurse who took your measurements."

"Ohhhh," I gave him a nod.

He exhaled, rubbing my back, "we also had a history together... a long time ago. We were good friends before this, as she was interning out of school at the same time I was interning from college... I slept with her. Well, more than slept with her. I..." Edward growled, rubbing his face with his free hand, "I saw her as a challenge. She had a boyfriend whom she was thinking about asking to marry her, and she was an open virgin. She prided herself on being a virgin, and... I wanted that."

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

He nodded, face glum, "Yeah. I'm a dick. I know. It was a few months after my ultimate low, and I wanted something to focus on so I wasn't focusing on that other shit, and... yeah."

I didn't know what to say. I'm sure I looked dumbfounded, "why would you do that, if she had a boyfriend?"

He shrugged, "This is going to sound bad but... I wasn't used to not being able to have someone I wanted. I wasn't used to not getting my way... so I did."

"And you guys still work together?"

"Yeah... I mean, it's cool now, but... that's why I didn't tell you. Well, that's one of the reasons. See, when she called, I didn't want to tell you until I talked to her and seen what the deal was... possibly, if I had to, set things straight. She's not a stalker or anything, I swear. She's a sweet girl, actually. I'm sure she just called because I got back into town and haven't been to work, since the vacation and Phil's death and all of this... not to mention we..." He stopped talking, shaking his head.

"Tell me," I said. In a sick way, I was curious. I didn't know why. "I won't judge, I swear it."

"I don't want you to be upset with me or look at me differently."

"I won't."

He pulled his lips in, unable to make eye contact with me, "Aimee went back with her boyfriend after a while, when I got bored with her. But... though she was with him, and I was doing whatever the fuck I was doing with Tanya..., we did mess around a few more times. But it hasn't happened in a _long _time, I swear it. And... I'm sure she was probably calling to congratulate me or something, or just to catch up. I mean, we ARE friends. I just didn't feel it was right to answer the phone and talk to another girl that you didn't know in front of you. ...But I swear to GOD, that I would NEVER, EVER, fucking EVER hook up with her again. Or anyone else. I really want you to trust me with this. It's not the same. _I'm _not the same."

I bit my lip and looked into his eyes. He was telling the truth. I knew what he looked like when he was lying. "I believe you."

"You swear it?"

"Yes." And I did.

He studied my expression, to see if I was lying. I wasn't. "Good, because she and I haven't done anything in forever. And I know she really loves her boyfriend, and even if I weren't with you, I still wouldn't try her anymore, because it wouldn't be worth it."

I nodded against his ribs, chewing on my fingernail, "So... you swear she's not interested in you now?"

"I swear it. We're friends now."

"Do you swear it on anything?"

"ON EVERYTHING."

"Okay," I whispered. "But... why did you take me to the hospital where she works?"

"Lots of reasons," he adjusted us, to where he was laying on his side, then pulled me up, so we were face to face, heart to heart. "First of all, I wanted to show you off to all my friends, including her. Show how different I was, now that you were back in my life. Show... how happy I was to be engaged, and to be a dad soon... I wanted to show them the new me. And, Doctor Sherber is the best in the business. There's a reason why I didn't transfer out of Seattle and go somewhere else when I had the opportunity. I _wanted _to work under her. I wanted her to be my mentor. I admire her and respect her and look up to her. She's what I want to be professionally... and I only want the best when it comes to you. PLUS, most labors happen unexpectedly. If you're treated where I work, then we wouldn't have to worry about me missing anything, because I'd be right here, you know? We wouldn't have to worry about getting stuck in traffic, or anything else. And she's an OBGYN, like what I'm striving for, so I know she could do and handle anything that came our way... whether it be complications, emergency surgeries, whatever. She has it covered... I trust her, Bella."

I gave him a warm smile.

"And... yeah, okay, I could have told you about Aimee before we got there, and maybe that's my mistake. But I mean, come on, what would I say? '_Oh sweetheart, before we get there, I wanted to let you know that there's a young girl that I snaked my way into banging. She works with me still. She's awesome'_. You know? That wouldn't go over well. I didn't want to put any more pressure or stress on you, with this pregnancy. We've had enough, already, and we haven't even hit your second trimester yet. Besides... I swear on my life, that Aimee is NOT a bad person. She won't do anything to you. Do you want to know what she said to me when I was walking to you, after talking with a few of my buddies? That stopped me?"

"What?"

"She said, '_Of course it'd take a beautiful woman of THAT caliber to turn Edward Cullen around. There's no way he's going back to Tanya or anyone else now_'. And she didn't say it crudely, just matter-of-fact like. And so I laughed and stopped to tell her she was damn straight. She knew about you, about my past. She knew how much I added you up to be, how I compared you to everyone else. She knew who you were. And she complimented you the entire time, which was why I was laughing and smiling like an idiot. I was telling her how smart you were, and what you did for a living, and how we were excited about starting our lives together... the list went on and on."

I blushed, unable to hide it. In my head, I thought they were flirting when I saw them. Not talking about me.

"I never had anyone to brag about before you, Bella. I can't express to you enough, how you are my everything."

I kissed his nose, "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

I held my breath, "what does that thing mean? That... code that Andrew, Jonen, and Scotty were saying?"

Edward groaned, rubbing the back of his eyelids, "you don't want to know."

"Yes I do."

"Trust me, you don't."

I pinched his ribs and tickled him, forcing him to chuckle, "Tell me _now_."

"Okay!" he said, finding my hands and pulling them from his shirt, "_okay_... but you'll think we're all dicks."

"You're male," I simply stated.

He sighed, shaking his head and closing his eyes, "When they said, '_154, Bright and Sunny_'. They were referring to Aimee."

"What about her?"

He groaned again, cursing under his breath, "_Why _do you have to be so observant?"

"Just tell me, you chicken. I swear I won't get upset."

He glared at me, "None of my friends besides Emmett really knows about Aimee and I. But at work, everyone knows everyone's business. Word got out, and eventually, I confessed to the three of them about what we'd done. And then I started talking shit, because I'm a guy, and we do that when we're single, and we came up with these code words that talk about random hook-ups and shit..."

He became hesitant, but I pressed the issue, "continue."

He still glared at me, not wanting to spill, "154 is code for laws. It represents both the consensual age to have sex, which they tease me about, because she was only eighteen when we started our... whatever. Also, it's the law that says '_Compelling a woman to enter into a sexual relationship in form of another person, in which they are a subordinate at work'. _I'm not telling you about the rest of it. You'll hate me."

"Please," I batted my lashes at him. "Tell me."

"_Why_?" he growled.

"Because I'm sick like that, and I wanna know."

He cradled my face, "you'll hate me."

"Just tell me." I was getting a kick out of seeing him squirm.

Edward exhaled, "Because I was a dick who talked shit, I told them about how eager she was when I finally got her where I wanted her, and _'bright' _means her wide, willing eyes, and _'sunny'_ means... a reference to eggs."

"Huh?" I giggled, dumbfounded. "That makes no sense."

He closed his eyes, spilling out his words, "Sunny-side eggs. It took one touch, and she was _so _wet that she was gushing on me... like the egg, when you poke it."

He looked down to me, and I didn't know whether to laugh or throw up, "...Oh."

"Yeah."

"That's _really _disgusting."

"I told you."

"I'm never looking at eggs the same way again."

"I told you!" he covered his face, "you wanted to know, _damn_."

Since he was so humiliated, I figured I may as well spill too. "Uh...if it makes you feel any better, I fooled around with a co-worker of mine on occasion."

His eyes popped open, "who?"

I bit my lip, trying not to be nervous, "His name is Ryan Danvers. We never had sex or anything, but... a lot of making out behind closed doors and petting and stuff."

He suddenly looked really interested, and very jealous, "is that a fact?"

"Mmhmm. He's older than us, twenty seven, I think. He wanted me to date him, but I wasn't into the whole office-relationship thing, plus I was gaining interest in Jasper, and..." I shrugged, "it never went anywhere, but we still work together. He's my partner, actually."

"Hmm." was all he said.

"So... besides the sex and disgusting egg descriptions and almost underage parts, we're in the same boat. Both working with people of our pasts."

He nodded, shutting his eyes, "this... _why _did you tell me?"

"Because we were sharing and I didn't want any secrets either."

"But... now I'm jealous."

"Please, Edward Cullen does not get jeal-"

"THE FUCK HE DOESN'T!!" he said, cutting me off. "Bella. Come _on_, with you, I'm always jealous. I was fucking jealous of Jasper, I was jealous of Jake, and whoever else... Jealous of your clothes that get to cover you, and all kinds of stupid fucking random shit that doesn't make any damn sense when you say that shit out loud. TRUST ME. I get jealous."

"I... had no idea."

"Well now you do," he replied shortly.

I inched closer to him, "are you... mad?"

"No," he exhaled, opening his eyes and throwing his arms around me, "but... it's hard sometimes, hearing about your life before me. Makes me realize how much I missed."

"Tell me about it," I rested my head on his chest, hugging him tight.

"Never again."

I kissed his ribs, before placing my head back over his heart, "it's a deal."

**

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**4 Weeks Later  
**(Bella is 12+ Weeks long)

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**BellaPOV (continued)**

"So," I said, placing the cardboard add onto the conference table, "what do you think?"

I looked around to my nine colleagues and friends, my boss, the _Google _rep of the day, and my partner.

In my hands was the new spring logo for _Google_, which my company, _Leverage Marketing_, takes credit for. Ryan and I spent countless hours consuming chinese food coming up idea of palm trees and easter eggs into the letters. Anything clicked on through _Google_, whether it be ads or links, the designs most likely came from this company. We get a percentage of every click. The wheels behind the wheels, behind the operation, so to speak... We have lots of other partners, such as _Black & Decker, Travelocity, Spenco, , Yahoo, MSN, _etc, but _Google_ was the branch that I worked for.

It's a lot harder than it sounds.

I was toward the end of wrapping up my twenty minute presentation, saving the artwork for last.

Of course, no one ever clapped their hands or even smiled, until Mr. Johnson, from _Google_, smiled.

And when he did, they all did.

_Thank God._

I exhaled, grinning over to Ryan and Colleen. After we adjourned the meeting and I shook hands with Mr. Johnson, Colleen and I headed past the secretaries, toward our offices.

"I cannot believe they bought it," she squealed. "You and Ry did such an awesome job!"

"I know," I exhaled, "all the hard work I put into, after being gone, paid off."

"Of course it did, silly. You're the best."

We turned the corner and I waved to a few people as we past by, "so what are you and Makin up to?"

"He's working extra shifts since Jasper's been home. I've hardly seen it. How about you and Edward?"

"Ugh," I scowled, opening my office door, "he's working so much. We're on opposite shifts, these past few weeks. Plus we're trying to pack up things in my house with Rosalie... oh, did I tell you she decided to move in with Jake? Anyway, so yeah, we're trying to do that, house hunt, work our shifts, sleep, go to my scheduled doctor appointments, and plan a wedding. We barely have time to hug in between." I flopped down in the chair, staring at my blank monitor on my desk, "...I miss him, you know?"

"Yeah," she said, sitting in a chair across from me, "I know how it feels. Does he work tonight?"

"Not sure yet. I don't think so though. I think Aubrey said she's going to try and give him the night off, since he stood in that operating room with her all day yesterday."

"Oh I forgot about that! How did it go?"

"He said it was really crazy. ...Something about triplets and breaches and possible placenta rupture... I'm not sure all the details, but he said it was intense. All she had all day was cesarean deliveries."

"Craziness," she picked up my pen, fiddling with it, "does it scare you?"

I shrugged, "I try not to think about it."

"Good. Don't."

I smiled at her, "hey, why don't you come over after work? We can go finalize my dress for the wedding?"

"YEAH! Oh, but I'll have to b-"

"Miss Swan, Mister Cullen is on line two."

We gushed into smiles as I hit the button on the speaker phone, "Hey!"

"Hey sweetheart, how are you feeling? How was your morning?"

"Good and good, thank you."

"Did your meeting go well?"

"They loved it!"

"See? I knew they would! I'm proud of you. When did you get back from it?"

"Just about a minute ago."

"I have such perfect timing. What are you doing for lunch?"

"I don't know, I'm meeting with Amber from _TicketCity _here at two, I believe. They're thinking about giving me a second account."

"On top of your _'Google' _one?"

"Yes. What do you think?" I asked, bouncing in my chair. I was so happy to talk to him, he lit up my entire day.

"Mmmm," he was hesitant, sighing into the phone, "can you handle all of this right now? On top of everything we're trying to do? And my little boy in the baby mobile?"

"We don't _know _if it's a boy, and I'm pretty sure I can."

'I don't want you to overload yourself."

Colleen rolled her eyes, giggling as she pretended to shove my pen in her ear. I threw a stack of sticky notes at her, "I won't."

"Well... I guess if you're sure... anyway, would you be willing to let me pick you up for lunch? I haven't taken mine yet, and-"

"Edward Cullen, you've been there for almost twenty-four hours and you haven't taken your lunch yet? Have you eaten at all?"

"Snacks here and there. I'm going to be home in a few hours anyway, so..."

"That doesn't excuse your choices, mister."

"Well then come have lunch with me and solve my dilemma."

"Fine, but you have to pick me up, because I rode with Colleen this morning."

"I'll be there around eleven. Sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful, see you then."

"See you."

"Bella," Colleen giggled as we hung up, "you two are so cute. And to think, I helped reunite you lovers."

I grinned at her, "I know. Crazy how things change."

"No shit," she laughed. "Every time I wake up and roll over and see Makin's glorious naked form, I'm like, 'wait, what?'" She giggled. "Life's a blast."

"It really is. So you're coming over tonight?"

"Yeah. I'll have to bring my shadow with me."

I giggled, "That'd be fine."

As we continued to talk about things, my coworker tapped his knuckles on my door frame before entering them.

We both turned, smiling up at him. "HEY RYAN!"

"Ladies," he grinned, walking over and sitting on the corner of my desk, before slapping a stack of papers on it, "Miss Swan, please sign these."

"What are they?"

"Release forms for the new add."

"So they are for sure going through with it?"

He smirked at me, those sea-green eyes shining down on me, "of course. We're the shit."

"We _are _the shit," I joked, scribbling signatures on each form without looking at them.

"Oh," he said as he gathered them back up, "I'm having a little get together here this coming weekend. You all should come, bring your men. We'll make it a swinger event."

We laughed and I pushed him off my desk, "whatever. What type of get together is it _really_?"

"Just a barbecue, maybe some gambling."

"I'll talk to Edward about it."

Ryan picked up my metal stress balls and began twisting them in his palm, "He'd probably be more willing if you hadn't told him that we hooked up."

"I couldn't _lie _to him. He needed to know what type of awful perverse person you were, taking advantage of your coworker like that," I teased.

He ran his fingers through his brown, disheveled hair, "yeah because you were so unwilling."

Colleen giggled as our banter continued about whatever else for the next hour... just catching up.

It felt good to be back at work.

At least, here I felt productive again. Less stress. More facts.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I rolled over and opened my drawer, digging for a glove.

By the time I rolled back in the bed, Heather was pulling the covers over her, "I think I need to go."

"What?" I asked, "why?"

"Because we're not ready to have sex again."

"We're already having sex."

"No, we're fooling around. There's a difference."

"Oh, come on," I said, pulling her tiny body to me, "there's no difference."

She looked at me, almost frowning, "there's a _big _difference this time around."

"What's the difference?"

She pulled the condom wrapper out of my fingers and threw it behind me, before we laid down on the bed, side by side, "the difference is... we're broken up."

"And?"

"And like I said, I don't have sex with my ex."

"Heather," I groaned, pulling her even closer, "you and I go better than anything else. We both know that, so what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is you're too chicken to get back into a relationship with me, even though we've been hanging out practically every single day since you got back however many weeks ago, and I'm too stubborn to change my ways."

"You _know _why I won't get back into a relationship with you. It has nothing to do with you."

"That is the stupidest thing ever!" she hissed at me.

"Well, even so."

She pushed me away from her and started to get out of my bed, but I quickly grabbed her and pulled her up against me, "Heather. Listen to me... I really, really care about you. Okay? More than anyone else these days... but that still doesn't change the fact that your parents are bible-thumping religious freaks who never gave me the time of day, let alone an actual _chance _to be your boyfriend, and I'm really not looking forward to them charging into one of my dad's clubs with a shotgun aimed at my head again."

"They didn't even have it loaded, and-"

"And you're working for my dad again, which is bad enough on my end. We all know they're going to think that I influenced your decision to wait tables there-"

"No they won't. I made my decisions on my own, I don't need them to dictate how I will or will not live my li-"

"But they're still your parents."

"SO!" she shouted. "Emmett... come on. Despite everything, I _want _to be with you. Why can't you just let us be, and not worry about them?"

"Because they'll rip off my dick when they find out!"

"No they won't!"

"Heather. Yes they will."

She growled, pulling away from me, and climbed out of the bed, looking for her jeans, "whatever then. This is hopeless, I guess."

"It's not. Why can't we just be how we are?"

"Because that's now how it works, Emmett!" she slapped her hands on my bed, glaring over at me, "You can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't get the milk for free, not with me."

I tried to grab her, but she jerked away, tossing on her shirt and jeans, "Heather, please don't fucking storm out of here mad."

"Well I'm not going to keep telling and _convincing _myself that you're going to get over this shit when you're _not_. They were the _only _reason we broke up, and here we are, fusing back together. But you're too much of an _idiot _to see that I am and have _always _been good for you."

She was steaming mad now.

I gave up, tossing the covers over my head, "why does shit have to be so complicated?"

"Welcome to Planet Earth, _dickwad_. I'm going to go. Call me when you grow some balls."

With that, she slammed the door to my room.

I stuck my hands out of the covers, flipping off the door, before dropping them onto the mattress.

I really was a dickwad.

But I didn't know what else to do.

With all of my friends, it was easy to help them with their lives. But with my own, it was like an enigma.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

When I entered Bella's workplace and made my way up to the eighth story, my head was spinning.

I was exhausted. I was sore. I needed food fast. I was agitated with things, and all I wanted to do was see her, because I knew she'd make me feel better.

No one around here really knew me, as I've only been here once before, and that was only in the parking lot. Bella texted me the instructions on what to say to the secretary, and how to get to her office. I knocked a few times, shoving my hands in the pockets of my slacks.

The door swung open by Colleen, and I saw Bella sitting behind her desk, talking into a headset, and a guy leaning over her back, reading into her monitor as she typed.

"Come in, she's on the phone with CRS," Colleen explained, motioning for me to enter.

"I completely understand your hesitation," Bella said sweetly, though she held hands in front of her in attempts to strangle her monitor, "and I know that Mr. Coleberry is also understanding of that. But I can reassure you that our references will clearly explain why you shouldn't have to worry. _Leverage Marketing_ is a sure bet. We don't gamble; we stick to the facts."

The dark haired guy behind her nodded in agreement, before pointing to something on her monitor.

She nodded, adjusting the headset in her ear, "you have my full guarantee, sir. Yes.... Mmhmm... Well, how about I set up a meeting with you tomorrow? That way we can meet in person, and have some direct contact? I feel that it's easier to make a decision when you can see who you'll be dealing with, instead of listen to a voice on the telephone.... Mmhmm... Great..." She began scribbling something down on her huge calender on her desk, "Mmhmm... Eight-thirty. I'll be there. Thank you so much, and have a wonderful day. Bye."

She hung up and tossed the headset on her desk, mumbling garbage under her breath.

Then she turned and when she saw me, her caramel eyes lit up, "HEY! I didn't hear you come in. You're early!"

The guy behind her pushed off her chair and walked around the desk, digging into a manilla folder, trying to look busy.

"I know I'm early, but I wanted to see you, so..." I shrugged, looking from Colleen, to the guy, to Bella, "you know how it goes."

"I do... you look spent," she said, standing up and dusting off her black pencil skirt that looked _incredible _on her form, before reaching behind her and grabbing her blazer jacket.

"I'm pretty tired, but I'll be all right when I get some food in my system."

She grinned at me as the guy stepped forward and stuck out his right hand, "Hello, Mr. Cullen, I'm Ryan Danvers, Bella's partner."

I shook his hand, trying not to be obvious about sizing him up with my eyes, "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he answered with a grin.

_So this was the guy who Bella spent countless hours on the phone with at night, going over reports and ideas... This was the guy who fucked with her._

I wished he were uglier. The dude looked like a fucking preppy frat boy, with a dangerous edge.

I wanted to fuck him up, all ready.

"So," he said, looking back toward Bella, "give me a buzz when you get back Bells, and we'll go over the main points for the meeting, okay?"

"You got it Ry," she said, throwing her purse strap over her shoulders and walking over to me, "you ready?"

I nodded, making sure to grin at the fucker as I wrapped my arm around her waist and gave her a kiss, "when you are."

"I'm ready," she smiled into my lips. "Colleen, tell Margie _not _to forward my calls."

"You got it Bella, see you Edward."

I waved to her and led Bella out of the office.

When we got into the parking garage, she squeezed me tight as we walked, "you look so nice in your suit and doctor jacket," she said. "So handsome and sexy..."

"Thanks, love," I opened the passenger side door open for her and brushed through her hair with my fingers before closing it. Then I made it into my side, and revved up the car.

"So what are you in the mood for?" she asked, turning to me and stroking the back of my neck.

I shrugged, pulling out into traffic, "something good. It's been a long day."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, giving her a smile when we approached the stop light, "better now that you're here with me."

"Awe," she gushed, leaning her head on my shoulder.

I held her hand as we drove around, stroking my thumb along the back side of her hand. We decided on _Corner Cafe_, our favorite here in Seattle.

I opened the doors for her and pulled out her chair, before taking the seat across from her.

She reached over, holding my hands on the table, "I'm so exhausted and my stomach is icky. Not to mention my migraine that keeps coming and going as it pleases. Whoever said pregnancy was easy, was lying or on drugs."

I snickered, running my fingers along her arms, "I'm sorry baby. Maybe when we get home, we can take a nap together?"

"Oh, I wish I could, but I have to do the final fitting on my dress after work. Colleen's coming with me. She's bringing Alyssa."

"Alyssa?"

"Yeah, her daughter."

I leaned forward, furrowing my brows, "Colleen has a _daughter_?"

"Yeah, I didn't tell you that?"

I shook my head.

"Oh. Yeah, it's a ...complicated situation. She had her when she was nineteen. The father's a dead beat, hardly ever sends a Christmas card. Alyssa stays with Colleen's mom during the week while she works, but here lately, since Colleen has been staying over at Makin and Jazz's place, Alyssa's been there with her, since Makin works nights and she works days. Makin really got attached to her."

"Wait, so teeny, tiny, _Colleen _has a four year old little girl?"

"She'll be four in a couple of months."

"Holy shit, I had no idea."

"Yeah, she keeps it pretty low key."

I smirked, and we ordered our food, before turning back into each other, "So... I bet the little girl is beautiful."

"Oh my gosh, she is. She's almost a spitting image of Colleen. Very sweet, despite her age... intelligent. She loves music and to dance, and loves hide and seek..."

I grinned at her, "that's cool. I can't wait to meet her."

"You'll love her, Edward. She's a doll."

After we ate for a while, I leaned forward, tucking her hair behind her ears, "If we _do _have a girl, I can't wait to see what features of you she'll hold."

Bella blushed, wiping her mouth with her napkin, "please. All I want is for our child to have your looks... your eye color, your smile, your long lashes-"

I shook my head, cutting her off, "you're crazy. There's no way, Bella. It must have some of you as well."

"Fine," she shrugged, "they can have my love for you too. That's what I want."

I shook my head, "you're insane, do you know that?"

"You know, I think I've heard that one before," she teased, taking a sip of her water.

I took a glance at my watch and groaned, "We have twenty minutes left. Fuck, if the hour doesn't fly during lunch."

"I know," she stretched out her arms, revealing a hint of her of skin on her stomach, beneath her white blouse and buttoned blazer, "it sucks."

"It does," I said, licking my lips as I stared at her. Then I leaned forward, giving her a wicked grin, "if I wasn't so hungry, I'd be fucking you right now."

Her lips parted, and then a blush formed over her cheeks, and she covered her mouth with her hands, "Edward... stop it."

"Bella, I'm serious as a heart attack," I mused, "it's been... what?... Eight days or something? We haven't had any time for each other lately..."

She frowned, leaning over the table toward me, and kissing my knuckles as she held my hand over her lips, "I know. I miss you."

"I miss you too," I sighed. "Life is hard now that we're here in the real world, both having jobs, and getting all this other stuff planned out."

"I know."

"But," I shrugged nonchalantly, leaning back in my chair, "you could always go part-time... that way you could still work, and have more time at home with me when I get h-"

"_Edward_," she growled, her mood change swinging fast, "stop. We've had this discussion. I'm not cutting back my hours if you're not."

"Bella, I _can't _cut back my hours. I don't have a choice. And on top of that, I won't, because I am _supposed _to work. You're not. You're the soon-to-be-wife, you don't _need _to work. I said I wanted to take care of you, and I meant it. I don't understand why you're so hell-bent on not letting me do it."

"Because this isn't the sixties, Edward. I don't _need _you to do everything. I worked hard to get where I am, and I'm not about to blow my education, my degree, and my job, just because we're having some changes in our personal life!"

"Bella, what are you going to do when the baby comes?" I argued.

"We'll have my mom with us, Edward," she sneered. "The same as what you're going to do when we have the baby. I don't hear you talking about taking time off of work to-"

"That's because nothing is final yet with my job, and I _am _talking to Doctor Sherber about it. But I can only do so much."

"Yeah, well, so can I."

I leaned forward, trying not to explode, "Bella... listen... if Renee watches our child, then we will both be missing out on important moments. At least, with you not working as much, one of us could be there to see them."

She got all huffy, mood swing even worse, "Edward, I don't want to talk about this anymore. I don't want to cut back my hours."

"It's give and take, Bella."

"Please. I don't see _you _giving any," she spat.

"Are you kidding me? Bella, come on. I'm working my ass off, picking up extra shifts, staying on call twenty-four-seven to get us in order financially. I'm trying to-"

"It's not enough, Edward. You're not even a doctor, yet. And you look at _vaginas_!"

I narrowed my eyes at her and leaned back in my chair, stunned, as I gawked at her.

Our first dispute since we got engaged.

"I can't believe you just fucking said that to me. You know there's a hell of a lot more to it than that with my job."

We both took a breath, and she shook her head, "I know, I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"Whatever," I barked, rubbed my face. I was too fucking tired to do this today.

"No, Edward," she said, getting out of her seat and walking around the table toward me. She made me move back a bit so she could sit on my leg and wrap her arms around me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that... it's just mood swings and this is still surreal to me, and it's a lot to plan and process, and my job and this wedding coming up and house arrangements and not being able to see you and... I don't mean to take it out on you. I know how hard you work and what your job means to you. I'm really, _really _sorry."

I leaned forward, pushing my face into her shoulder and wrapping my arms around her waist, pulling her closer against me in the chair, "I'm sorry too."

"I just miss you, and I feel like anytime we talk, it's about plans and the wedding and moving and finances and family and jobs, and... there's never any other conversation."

"I know," I replied.

She began to scratch the top of my head, and I immediately felt myself loosen up and relax from the tension haunting my shoulders.

_God, she was sexy._ Even though we fought.

"You know..." I said, inhaling her scent, "I don't _have _to rush back to the hospital... I've got my pager..."

"...and my meeting doesn't start until two," she responded, catching my hint.

"...and my place is only a few blocks from here..." I continued.

She leaned forward, whispering in my ear, "...and make-up sex sounds in order..."

It only took me a few minutes to pay for that damn check and get us out the door and on the road to my place. I was never happier to get back there.

Alice has been staying over at Jasper's apartment this week, so I knew no one would be there.

We quickly moved into my bedroom, and she pushed me backward on my mattress, before climbing up on top of me.

I waisted no time sliding her skirt up, trying to ignore the lust bouncing around in my head from her stockings and garter belt and fucking sexy heels.

She pushed my white jacket to the sides and tossed the tie over my head, shoved my shirt up, before attacking my neck with kisses and nibbles.

I sat up, pulling her against my erection, panting into her hair.

"Edward," she hummed, as I hooked my fingers into the side of her panties.

She turned us and we crashed onto the mattress, me above her. She lifted her hips, allowing me to pull them off swiftly.

We didn't worry about removing any other pieces of clothing, just pushed them aside when necessary. This was too fucking important to deal with that shit. We _needed _this.

"Please," she begged, tugging me down to her by my tie, as she fisted her free hand into my locks.

She didn't have to beg me twice, and I pushed into her hard, groaning into her ear as her muscles pulsed around me.

Fucking slick and warmth and pink moist skin surrounding me... this was _exactly _what I needed to turn my day around.

"I'm sorry about earlier," she panted, nipping at my lips, throwing her legs around me. "Please don't stop."

Breathing heavily, I withdrew and slammed back into her, lifted her hips off the bed, forcing her to meet my thrusts. Each shove and pull got me closer and closer to the back of her, and I was so fucking engorged and aroused that I almost bottomed-out in her, by accident. I could feel myself inching closer to the furthest wall of her vagina. It still wasn't enough.

I refused to go too fast, even if it felt amazing. Just rough... rough enough to make a point.

There was this animalistic, desperate side of me coming out in my mind, and it had nothing to do with our argument earlier. I knew she didn't mean what she said... this was something way before that...

I wanted to fuck her properly today. I wanted to make sure she knew who she belonged to. I wanted to remind her that she was mine and no one else's, and so help me God, I wanted to prove to her that she'd never get it better than she did with me... so she'd remember it when she got back to work with fuckface frat boy.

Because I was a lot more jealous of that dipshit for getting to spend so much time with my girl than I led on... seeing her in those damn skirts and tight jackets... seeing her chew on pencils and all that other shit...

Bella clawed and scraped and pushed me and pulled me, bit on my shoulder, moaned louder than I had ever heard before, egged me on... Never before had I been this rough with her, not even that day when we were on the floor... But she didn't seem to mind it one bit, and so I continued. Yanking her to me, tugging on her hair, flipping her tiny body all around this bed at my convenience. I made sure she had it hard and good from every angle possible, clothes we were wearing, be dammed.

She fisted the headboard as I pushed in behind her, then slammed back against me, her ass and thighs making delicious sounds as it smacked against my skin. I wrapped my arm around her blouse and shoulders, pulling her up to my chest. She moaned loudly, reaching behind her and yanking a fistful of my hair.

Then she pulled all the way from me, departing our bodies, and twisted around, before climbing back in my lap and throwing her arms and legs around me. She made sure to make eye contact with me as I lifted her tiny body up and down on top of mine, connecting us again. I could see it in her eyes... the matching animalistic desperation... She was making sure I knew I wasn't going to get it any better too... that way when _I _went back to work, she was the only girl on my mind.

As if there'd be any other girl. Crazy.

I watched as her tongue slid out from her lips and into my mouth, before rolling my eyes in my head as she enveloped me. Her fingernails scratched along my shoulders and the back of my neck, and she struggled to hold onto the last piece of her lust. She kept clenching those miracle muscles around me with each push inside of her. She wanted me to go first. I wanted her to go first. So we were both putting it off, fighting for dominance.

"Edward," she said into my ear, tugging on the ends of my hair as our motions became more erratic, "please."

"Please what?" I panted, jerking her hard against me.

She clenched tighter around me and I pushed my face into her collar bone, praying my finger would do it's magic and get her off first. _Please let me win._

"Mmm," she moaned, "ahhh.."

"Come on," I muttered under my breath, encouraging myself not to spill.

Bella began to grind harder on me, moaning and inhaling through her nose, "_please_, Edward. For me."

_Oh no she didn't_. Girl was damn good, I had to give it to her.

Giving in, I loosened up my resolve on her, and let her ride me until it felt _so _good, I exploded into her heated depths like a bottle rocket. She shuddered as I came, biting down on my neck hard and with a vengeance. With a few more clicks of my finger, she was mine, and made sure to remind me as she moaned my name and told me how good it felt.

_...How good it felt. _

Dear God, if she only knew how good it felt to not only feel her body suck me inside it's traps and hold me there when she came, or the way the wetness surrounded every inch of me... she had no _idea_.

We stayed in a sitting position, and my tie stayed wrapped around her fist, as we came all the way down to a steady breathing pattern.

Then she peppered kisses on my face and climbed off of me, straightening out her skirt and blouse.

I couldn't help it.

I fucking grinned, watching how quickly we went from fucking each other, to situating our clothes and being back in the car on our way to her work, acting like nothing ever happened.

She sipped on her to-go cup of ice water as we walked hand in hand to her office.

My grin grew wider when I noticed the flush on her cheeks that she couldn't remove even though she tried to fan her face... _That's what happens when you get properly fucked_, the evil narcissistic side of me thought.

And then, if possible, my ego about shot through the roof when I saw the looks on Colleen's and Ryan's face as we reentered her office. They knew something was up.

The both of us looked much more rested and a hell of a lot happier now.

Ryan cleared his throat noisily and began to stack papers on her desk, while Colleen just moved out of our way and smiled foolishly at Bella. She definitely knew.

Bella started to walk to her desk, but I jerked her hard to me as soon as I noticed him look up, and made sure to take my time swirling my tongue around every inch of her mouth in front of him.

I could have been a real dick and squeezed her ass, and I wanted to, but knew it'd be too unprofessional. Plus, it started making me have thoughts of bending her over that desk... And it'd just get me going again, and I couldn't handle another boner without her to relieve it. My hand was retired since Bella came back into my life.

"Mmm," she smiled against my lips, before tightening my tie, "I'll see you tonight?"

"You bet," I winked at her and kissed her nose, "call me later if you want."

"I will, love you."

"Not nearly as much as I love you," I said, kissing her lips once more.

Then I made sure to give Ryan a nod before I left.

There wasn't one fucking doubt in my mind that he knew what I was getting at.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

The past four weeks have been... chancing.

The first few days were hell after the incident, I won't try to lie. The things that made me decide to fall back into old patterns were minor to the ones I felt after I did it... because knowing I caved in made me so depressed that I wanted to do it again, and the pattern just kept repeating itself.

But the good news is, I haven't done it since.

The bad news is, I still think about it from time to time.

And the mediocre news is, every day, it gets easier.

Nine days after the incident, with the help of Edward and Jasper, I agreed to do over-the-phone counseling with an anonymous hot line who helps deal with cases like mine twice a week. My code name when I talk, since I'm anonymous, is 'Sunshine'.

The girl I like to talk to the most is named Andrea. She is very soothing, and doesn't seem fake when she talks to me, like some therapists in the past have. She seems actually concerned and very understanding, not judging and superficial.

I really like her. I'd call her whenever I had bad thoughts, and she'd talk to me for as long as I wanted. She never forced me to talk to her, which was also good. Sometimes, we just stayed on the phone, in pure silence... and it felt nice, to know that someone was there on the other end, but didn't have to speak to know what I was going through.

She's even called me once, just to check up on me because I hadn't called in four days, and I really liked when she did.

Sometimes, Jasper will sit beside me while I talk to her, to show me that he's here for me, but not interfering. He's never once said to me, 'Oh Alice, you're pathetic for what you did', or anything to that nature. He doesn't even pressure me to talk about it, and that makes me _want _to talk about it to him, just because he is doing this on my time, not on his.

I've told him how it started, with my dad telling me and my mom that we were fat growing up... which was part of the reason why my mom packed us up and we followed Edward's family around when they moved. I told him about why I keep my energy, because staying happy twenty-four-seven is a distraction for me. I told him about some of my triggers, such as certain comments from people, or on television, or dealing with too much stress, or even seeing everyone else around me happy... it could be anything.

No matter what I said, Jasper never once acted like he didn't want to hear it or was looking at me differently.

This took a while to really sink in, as I thought for sure he was going to leave me like everyone else did.

But he didn't.

He stuck it out.

And though my demon side of me tells me that I'm not good enough and will screw it up eventually, the happier side of me says to enjoy feeling loved because he wasn't going anywhere.

Like I said.. still a battle for me.

Jasper even came up with a 'fail-word' scenario for us, so he could help me out more. It's different from a 'safe-word' that other people use in other situations. A 'fail-word' is a word that I use when I am having so much of a bad day, that I want to do something, like make myself throw up or whatever the case may be. It can also be when something triggers me.

I chose my 'fail-word' to be _thunderstorm_. Because it's the exact opposite of sunshine. It's the darker side of me, trying to come out and take over.

So, when I say that word, we quickly try to change gears and get me out of the room or the scene or whatever the case may be, and go outside... go for walks, go see a movie, go to the batting cages... whatever it takes. And, most days, it really does help.

"Step by step," he told me. "Don't get impatient and it'll work."

So I've been trying to let it work.

Because I never, ever, want to see the fear in his eyes like I did that night four weeks ago.

And I don't want to disappoint my best friend Edward either.

Seeing him with those drugs, though I knew in my heart he was doing it only because I was down, was too much.

It was the awakening that I needed.

The three of them in that bathroom, willing to lie on the cold disgusting floor with me for as long as it took... really proved to me how good I had it, when I allowed myself to have it.

But again, each day is it's own battle.

Jasper pulled me to him, snuggling into my shoulder, "good morning. How long have you been awake?"

I shrugged, taking a glance at the clock, smirking as it read past two in the evening, "maybe twenty minutes?"

"Thank you for letting us sleep in so late."

"Anytime," I smiled, inhaling his scent. He smelled like a newborn. I loved it.

"Want some breakfast?"

I bit my lip, trying to push back negative thoughts about food before they even crossed my mind, "sure. What are you thinking?"

"Mmmmm.... how about biscuits and gravy?"

I thought about it, and it really did sound like it would hit the spot, "that sounds good."

"Great. Want to take a shower with me first, and we can make it together?"

"Sure," I stroked through his hair, "but can we lay here for a few more minutes? I'm just... not sure if I'm ready to face the kitchen yet."

"Of course... for as long as you want."

"Okay," I whispered.

Jasper pulled me down and threw the covers over our heads, causing me to giggle as he pulled me closer.

I turned on my side and he snuggled up against my back, pressing his face into my hair.

"You look so beautiful in the mornings," he said, kissing my head.

"Thank you," I closed my eyes.

"And you smell so good..."

I blushed, "thank you two times."

He pushed against me, and my eyes popped wide as certain parts _really _pressed into me.

Jasper hummed in my ear, sending shudders through my frame.

His left hand dipped into my tank top and he began to caress the underside of my breast, pushing into me again.

I pushed back, and enjoyed the sound of his breath hitching.

He moved back to me, and I pushed back harder this time, arching my back a bit.

"That's it," he said, throwing the covers off of him.

I sat up, watching him cover his lower half on his pants and jog into the bathroom he shares with Makin, "where are you going?"

"Be right back." A minute later, he was back in the bed, smiling his freshly brushed teeth.

Then he held out a cup of mouth rinse and a glass, "Rinse good and spit."

I looked up at him, puzzled at first, then did as he instructed.

The minute I did, he sat the things on his nightstand, then threw the covers back over us, and started to tickle me.

"JASPER!" I laughed, thrashing around.

He climbed on top of me and arched his back down while his arms were fully extended, amd began shoving his erection into my center, "think it's funny to tease and taunt me like that, Miss Brandon?"

I grinned, spreading my legs further, watching him dry hump me through my white pajama pants.

We've been fooling around for a couple weeks, giving the first two to let me mend my wounds a bit.

But we haven't had sex in a month. And I was itching for it.

"Answer me."

"Yes," I admitted, though my heart rate started to pick up and my body started to tingle.

I watched as he took my left leg in his hand and drug it up, all the way to his shoulder. Then my right.

Then he bent down, and did it worse, grinding on me so hard that I thought I'd explode before we even got naked, "I think payback is in order."

I started to apologize, but he slid down my body, and inhaled as he went, before pressing his face right into my sweet spot.

I gasped, arching my hips up to him, but his hands found my waist, and he pressed me down into the mattress. I shuddered as he stuck his tongue out, licking me through the fabric of my pants.

He kept doing it, causing involuntary moans to escape my throat, until I arched my back and threw my head into the pillows.

Then, he stopped.

I snapped my head up, to find a beautiful mess of blonde twisted locks between my legs, followed by long eyelashes, and wide eyes, as he looked up at me.

Taunting me. _The bitch._

He had me and he knew it.

"I'm sorry," I spat, "I won't tease you again, I swear it."

"Mmm," he hummed, sending vibrations to my core, "I don't think you mean it."

"I mean it," I gasped as he pushed his face into me, "I _swear_, I mean it."

He hummed again, causing me to shudder.

"Please don't make me beg... don't make me beg."

"Asking me not to make you beg is the same thing as begging," he said as he sat back on his knees.

I growled at him and sat up, crossing my arms over my much-aware chest.

He smirked, "payback complete."

I started to lunge at him and wrestle with him, but his hands found my wrists, and he pushed me back into the mattress, laying on top of me, "Mmmm, she likes it rough this morning."

"Quit it!" I laughed as he pushed into me. "Get fucking naked, now."

"And she's demanding."

"_NOW_, Jazz."

He stopped his torment and raised his head, looking down at me.

Then he stripped off his clothes faster than lightening, and mine as well.

As soon as we connected, I felt better all ready.

I needed that closeness.

Needed it for my well-being.

Needed it more than we both even knew.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I couldn't wipe the fucking grin off my face to save my damn life.

Here I was, two hours after I returned to the hospital, and I was still fucking smirking.

Scotty walked over to me, and leaned on the counter at the reception desk, as I looked through a chart Bree handed me.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to look at him.

"Dude, you're so fucking obvious. Knock it off, it's sickening."

I licked my lips, trying my hardest to fight back my smile, as I flipped through the page.

I noticed both Bree and Aimee pretending not to listen to us. I rolled my eyes at them. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You have lipstick on your collar," he said, pointing to it.

"Get away," I smacked his hand, giving us some space.

"You've been walking around with that shit ever since you took lunch, E."

"Shit happens," I smirked, trying really hard and failing at focusing on the print in the paperwork.

"And you took lunch with that tight-ass beautiful fucking Fiancee' of yours, didn't you?"

"Watch your mouth," I said, pulling us away from listening ears, to a corner, "...and I most certainly did."

Scotty slid next to me and whispered under his breath, "you did some _serious _pussy smashing, didn't ya? Don't lie. It's all over your face."

I couldn't help it. I fucking grinned.

And he burst out laughing, patting me on the back, "you little sleeze. Couldn't wait until you got home from work, could ya?"

"I had a point to make," I clarified.

"And what point would that be?"

I glared at him and spoke my words like they were a disease, "Ryan Danvers."

"Dude, are you kidding me?"

"What?"

"You seriously are like... that's all you've talked about the past fucking month. Get over it, she's his partner."

"So? Man, you don't get it. He's been calling her every night while they've been working on that project, working with her every day. He gets her more than _I _do. Plus, he fucked around with her, and that just pisses me off to no other extent, and-"

"So you felt that _taunting _his ass would be the mature way to show him that she is now _yours_?"

"Yes," I smirked, justifiably.

He held out his hand to me, "good job, brother."

I laughed and shook it, exhaling, "thank you. I do what I can."

"When you two are done gossiping, _gentlemen_, I need to see Doctor Cullen in my office."

I turned and gave Aubrey a tight nod, "Right away, Doctor Sherber."

"Good luck," Scotty said under his breath, before walking to go flirt with Bree like he normally does.

I closed the door behind me and walked toward the desk.

She didn't look up, "Take a seat, Doctor Cullen."

I dropped into the chair, watching as she dug through her purse.

"First off," she said, as she tossed a white sort-of box on the desk at me, "you did amazing with that past pelvic. I didn't have to coach you once."

"Thank you."

"That's make-up remover. Get the lipstick off of your shirt."

A little flushed, I pulled out a moist tissue from the box and began wiping the collar, "I didn't realize, I am very sorry-"

"I understand that you and Miss Swan are reasonably in your pre-honeymoon phase, Doctor Cullen. May I advise you that when you come back on the clock, you take a long look in the mirror _before _you re-enter my maternity floor next time?"

"Yes ma'am, I will."

"Look, Doctor Cullen," she exhaled, placing her hands folded on her desk as she leaned toward me, "you've been an asset to me these past couple of weeks and my gratitude toward you is constantly extending."

"Thank you."

"But you're exhausted, and you _really _need to get some sleep."

I shook my head, leaning forward, "No, no, no, I insist, I'm fine. I just needed to get some food and-"

"_Edward_," she growled, causing me to shut up. _She never called me by my first name here. Ever. _ "Look. It's not going to make me look at you any differently for going home early. It's a slow day, for starters. Plus you've been on call every day this week, sticking it out on forty-eight and even seventy-two hours shifts with me..."

She sighed, meeting my eyes, "you're the best I have. You get away with more things and get into more fields of work here than all of my other interns combined, and for a damn good reason. You _are _the best student here. But that doesn't meant that I am going to allow you to get sick and/or exhaust yourself. You have a lot that you are planning, a lot that you are dealing with... I want you to go home, catch up on some sleep, and be wide awake for that beautiful girl to come home to you. Okay? I don't think I'm asking for too much here."

"With all due respect, Doctor Sherber," I started to object, "I _need _this money. Bella and I are getting married in a week, I'm battling with my bank over this loan for a house, and-"

"It wasn't a request, Doctor Cullen. You need to go home."

"B-"

"You have a bonus check coming tomorrow, which I will sign immediately for you to have. I haven't discussed it with you yet, but I may as well tell you before you give yourself a hernia. It's a small thank you, on my behalf, for your hard work this past month. So..."

She stood up, reaching out her hand to me, palm up, "hand me your pager, and we'll call it a day. You can come in tomorrow evening, if you feel up to it. If not, I'll see you Wednesday at eight am."

I exhaled, handing her my pager, and biting my tongue, "thank you, Doctor Sherber."

It sucked, feeling defeated. This was my second life. I loved working, even on the bad days. I thrived to help around here.

"Oh and Doctor Cullen?"

I stopped as my fingers touched the doorknob, and turned to face her, in question.

"You'll thank me for this later."

I forced a smile and gave her a nod, before exiting the building.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

_I am a dumbass._

That's the sentence I kept repeating in my head, as I start running down Piton Avenue.

With a sheet wrapped around me.

_I am a dumbass. I am a dumbass. I am a dumbass._

Never in my life have I chased after a girl. I've never had to swallow my pride before.

But Heather wasn't just another girl. And she wasn't just my ex.

We were on and off for a long while, when it was off, it was because of her parents or my stupidity...

The thing was, yeah I really cared for Rosalie when I met her, and maybe I still do. But I fell too deep and too fast with her because I was trying so hard to not think about my ex back in Seattle, and I truthfully wonder if we were never in the cabin and just randomly met on the street somewhere, would I have pursued it? Probably not. She was beautiful and had some good points... but when you get down to the bottom of it, our relationship was blinded with lust. It was what Edward once referred to as 'skin deep', the way he felt with Tanya.

And Heather's been in my life for _years_. There must be a reason she keeps coming back in it, right?

Regardless, she came over again after a few hours, to find me still naked and in my bed. She threw a fit in my bedroom, telling me how stupid I was and all this stuff, and that she couldn't see me anymore. She grabbed the few sweatshirts and whatever else she left here over the past month, and took off.

So here I am, chasing her toward her car that's parked on this steep ass, motherfucking hill.

"Heather!" I shouted, trying to ignore the pain of fucking rocks and whatever else is on these disgusting roads, which are crushing into the soles of my bare feet.

I watched as she kept strolling, sweatshirt and a few other belongings flopping in the wind, barely in the hold of her arms.

"Heather!"

No answer.

"Heather!" I gasped again, wishing I had a cigarette. "Heather, Heather, Heather, please! Wait the fuck up!"

"Go away, Emmett."

"I don't want to go away, I want you to listen to me."

She reached her car, and fumbled to hold her stuff and find her keys.

When that didn't work, she growled, slamming her clothes on the hood of her car. She dropped her purse on the ground by the door, and began rummaging inside it for her keys.

"Please, please just listen to me," I begged as I finally reached her, hopping around on one foot since it got scraped with something sharp.

"I don't _have _to listen to you Emmett. I'm not your _girlfriend, _remember?"

"Oh Jesus Christ, would you stop being so damn stubborn for five seconds?"

She stopped her digging and glared up at me, rising to her feet. She threw her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at me. "I am not the stubborn one Emmett," she said, as she thrusted her index finger into my chest, "you are. It's not me. It's you."

I tilted my head down to her, "How am _I _the only stubborn one? _You're _the one who took off."

"Oh, okay, _genius_, let me explain to you in children's talk, so you understand." She took a step forward, glowering at me, "This is why I'm _not _stubborn. I'm here, okay? I've been spending time with you, a little more every day. _Despite _what my parent's have said and done. _Despite _the freakin' voice in my head telling me that you'll never change. _Despite _your childish, stubborn-assed, two-year-old antics, I'M STILL HERE. And that is _not _a stubborn, selfish reason. It's _wayyyy _past that. I am here because I care for you, _okay_?"

But she didn't stop there, as she took another step closer, "and you know what? I wish I was stubborn. Because if I was stubborn and selfish, then I could walk away from you. Tell myself not to give in to your stupid-ass smirks, and your stupid-ass grins, and stupid-ass dimples, and your stupid-ass voice, and your stupid-ass hair, and your stupid-stupid-_stupid_-ass eyes!"

Heather was actually about to sprout a second head or something, she was so fucking pissed off at me. She was loathing. Seething.

...She scared me a bit.

And I liked it.

As soon as she started spitting out my features, I tried really hard to not grin. But that didn't happen.

So she growled and pushed me against her car, before turning toward her purse again.

I quickly threw away my smile and resorted to begging again, lunging forward to grab her arm, "Heather, listen to me."

"GO AWAY."

"No," I swung her toward me, gripping her by her biceps, "_listen _to me."

"WHAT?" she hissed up at me.

I blew out a gust of air, holding her tiny body in my large hands. Then I swallowed the last inch of my pride, and found her pretty eyes, "I don't want you to go."

"WHY?" She was definitely still pissed.

_Start graveling, McCarty._

"Because... you're the best friend I have these days," I began. "Cullen is so fucking pussy-whipped that it's ridiculous, I hardly get to talk to him on the phone. Brandon, whom I haven't spoken to in over a _month _really, has Jasper. And I don't talk to Rosalie anymore. And all my other guy friends have jobs and shit and..."

I shrugged, trying to hold her gaze, "...I guess you're _my _someone, you know? That someone I like to spend time with... the someone that makes me laugh and I can make laugh... I don't want you to leave."

She shook her head, fighting back tears and trying to pull from my grasp, "I can't just be your _someone_, Emmett. Please let me go."

"Why can't you be?"

"Because I love you!" she shouted forcefully.

I shut my eyes, tensing my grip on her.

"Yeah," she scoffed, sniffling. "There. It's said. Now let me go. I can see I've all ready freaked you out enough for one day. Just... let me GO."

I swallowed, loosening my grip on her tender arms, still unable to open my eyes, "I really wish you wouldn't have said that, Heather."

"Why not?"

"_Because_..." I sighed, looking toward the ground, still unable to let go yet, "those words just lead to a demise... they're a jinx. Everything fucks up after people say them."

She started trembling, and I slowly worked up the courage to look up and find her eyes.

And she was sad, and it made me sad.

"You know," she said, voice almost a defeated whisper, "those words don't _fuck shit up_ when people _mean _them, Emmett... but, if you want to stay stuck in your last relationship just because it failed and you said those damn words when you weren't _really _ready to say them..."

She shrugged, looking down, "then that's your choice. But I can't do it. I don't stay in the past, it's not in my nature..."

She pulled away from my grasp and stumbled backward, toward her purse again, "...I'm moving on."

"Please," I whispered, unable to hide the glum expression in my eyes. "I really don't want you to go."

She opened her car door and tossed her belongings all over the passenger seat, before taking one last look at me, "it's not _just _about what you want, Emmett... Not this time."

She slammed the door shut and took off before I hardly had a chance to move away from the car.

I watched as the car floored down the hill, and sighed.

_You didn't gravel enough, fuckface. Now she's fucking gone. AGAIN._

* * *

**BellaPOV**

The rest of my workday went pretty smoothly.

My meeting was a success. My boss praised me.

I got to start discussing my plans for my new account, if I get it.

And Ryan and I got free food for the entire staff on my floor, for all of their help this past month.

So here I sit in Ryan's office, munching on pepperoni pizza with him, watching the clock narrow down the last hour of my workday.

"Bella, you're sitting on my spreadsheet."

"Oh," I giggled, climbing off the corner of his desk and removing my eyes from the clock above the door, "sorry. Distracted."

"What about?" he said, as we both took seats, him behind his desk, me in front of it.

"Edward, mostly. Colleen's bringing Alyssa over, and I want to see how he's going to react with her."

Ryan scoffed, shaking his head and grinning, "she's taking the devil-child over to meet your dude? Oh boy."

"Oh my gosh, Ryan! Alyssa is _not _the devil-child! She's a sweetheart! Are you kidding me?"

He looked up, cocking his eyebrows, "...Uh, yeah. I am. Jahebus, Bella. Can't see a joke when it's right in front of you?"

I threw my greasy napkin at him, "leave me alone."

"My goodness, who knew you being knocked-up would be so much fun to be around? I'm going to start teasing you more often."

"Shut _up_, _Danvers_."

"Maybe teach your man a few things about teasing you."

"RYAN," I growled in warning at him.

He raised his hands, "my bad, took it too far. Couldn't resist."

"Try harder."

He chuckled, marking X's through spreadsheets he already entered in the computer, to keep them separated, "He's quite the character, your man."

'What do you mean?"

"Very... uh... competitive."

I shrugged, "I really hadn't noticed."

"You're not a man."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He licked his lips, leaning forward toward the desk, "Bella. Listen. Hear me out. Guys like _that _are like... bulldogs."

"Bulldogs?"

"Yeah. As soon as they see any other type of dog in their territory, they get really defensive, and piss all over their shit, so the other dogs won't go near it anymore."

"So..." I furrowed my brows, taking another bite of my pizza, "...you're saying that Edward is... _pissing _all over me?"

"Yes."

"...Are you high?"

He laughed, slouching back in his rocking leather seat, "Bella, you should have seen his face when he saw me around you earlier. There's no doubt in my mind that when you two were alone, he marked that territory UP."

I blushed, looking toward the ground, "I'm not property."

"Tell him that."

"He knows."

"I wouldn't... be so sure."

I looked up at him through my lashes, watching him shift in his seat, "Yeah, well... technically, though I'm not property, I _am _willingly _his_... So... yeah, I mean, I guess, if he feels he must, he's welcome to... _piss _on me."

He laughed, covering his face, "I hope you mean that figuratively."

I giggled, biting my lip, "yeah, I do."

"Because that would be really sick. Even I'm not that twisted enough to actually piss on someone."

I laughed again, "me neither."

"So what _is _it about him?"

"Edward?"

"Yeah. What's it about him that's... not like any other male?"

"Well for one, he has a twenty inch penis and a hurricane tongue," I joked, enjoying watching him roll his eyes.

I smirked, shaking my head, "No, really... It's just always been him. Doesn't matter who else I'm with or what else I'm doing, or the past, or how long we're apart... He's it for me, you know?"

Ryan shook his head, trying to study my eyes, "I don't know, but I guess I'll just have to take your word for it."

"You should," I smiled.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I swung open the door to Edward's condo, and Colleen and Alyssa were right on my heels.

"Edward?"

"I'm in the bathroom, babe," he shouted from down the hall. "Be out in a sec."

"Okay," I said, smiling to Colleen.

"He needs to shake it off real good," she whispered teasingly with a wink.

Cora Corona came charging and sliding all over the floors, soaking wet.

"Awe, did you have a bath?" I squealed, petting her white, damp head.

She took off again, shaking around everywhere.

Edward came jogging out holding a blow dryer and chuckling, and as soon as I saw him, I lost all my breath.

I really wondered for a second if there would come a time when I wouldn't react this way to him... and then hoped I always would.

There he stood, tall and built, wearing dark blue jeans, and a lighter navy blue shirt, the sleeves pushed up toward his elbows. His bronzed hair was perfected, the top curling up toward the end and spiky. He had an adorable pout on his bottom lip, and those green emerald eyes lit up as soon as he saw me.

He quickly tossed the dryer on the couch and strolled over, wrapping both arms beneath mine and around my body, pulling me to him, pelvis to pelvis, "Hey beautiful."

I smiled, putting my arms over his, and around his back, "Hey handsome."

"I missed you," he said, kissing my cheek slowly.

"I missed you too. You look rested."

He chuckled against my ear, sending me shivers, "yeah well, Aubrey sent me home early, despite my request to stay. I caught a few hours of sleep."

"Awe, that's good," I stroked through his hair, the part I could reach without having to stand on my tip-toes.

Edward hugged me tight and applied his lips to my forehead, pressing tenderly.

_Damn, he smells so good and looks too amazing and he's so warm and... _

I pulled away, trying to catch my breath before I jumped all over him, "Edward, there's someone that we want you to meet."

"Oh yeah?" he chimed, grinning as he released me.

"Yes," Colleen said. "But she's normally shy around guys so ...pre-warning you."

She reached behind her, and pulled Alyssa in front of her legs.

Alyssa instantly tried to twist around and make her mother pick her up, but Colleen denied her, gripping her hands, "Sweetheart, you're fine. Edward, this is my daughter, Alyssa Ivory. Alyssa, this is Aunt Bella's Fiancee', Edward Cullen. Can you say 'Hi' to Edward?"

Alyssa shook her head, rubbing her eyes.

Edward smiled, bending down to her height, "Hi Alyssa, I'm Edward. I like your pink dress."

Alyssa bit her lip, not removing the back of her hand from her eyes.

"Like I said, she's shy," Colleen giggled. "Well, Bella, if you want to get changed, we can go and give Edward his space."

"Remind me where you are going?" Edward asked.

"To the _JLM Cotoure_ for my final fitting," I explained, stroking down his forearms because I couldn't help myself from touching him.

"Can I come?" he asked.

"NO, you know better. No seeing the dress before the wedding."

Edward frowned but nodded, "will you be gone long?"

"Just a couple of hours."

"Mmm," he smiled. "Well... if you want, I can watch over Alyssa. There's no sense of you two having her running around the story while you get your dress stuff done."

Colleen quickly shook her head, "You don't want to do that. She can be a handful."

"I insist," Edward gave his award winning smile that gets exactly what he wants to her, and she almost seemed... hypnotized.

I knew exactly how she felt.

"Besides," Edward rubbed my back, pulling me into his side, "I need the practice anyway."

I bit my lip, nodding silently to Colleen to let him. I wanted to see how this would plan out.

Colleen looked from me to Edward a few times, then sighed, "Okay, but it's your funeral."

Edward chuckled, "we'll be fine."

As I ran inside the bedroom to change my clothes, I stuck my head out, watching the three of them interact.

Colleen sat Alyssa's bag on the chair and began showing him things, "she has a few outfit changes in here, because it never fails, she'll get dirty. Snacks, potato chips, gallon of juicey-juice, uh... coloring books, a few toys... hair brush... lots of other necessities. She can speak pretty clearly, but sometimes she fumbles her letters still. Uh... she loves to draw and _really _loves music. She's a bit clumsy, I must warn you. And she's going through this crazy, _crazy _copy-you stage... anything you do, she tries to do too."

Edward smirked, "no problem."

"And here is...." she began scribbling numbers on a sticky note, "my number, just in case you can't get ahold of me through Bella's... and here's Makin's too, just in case. Oh, and my mom's... and-"

"You've never had anyone besides your family watch her, have you?"

Colleen bit her lip and looked up to Edward, before shaking her head, "no. Not really."

"She'll be fine. I promise. Just tell me what she likes to eat, and if she needs a nap, and I can handle the rest."

I was amazed at how confident he was. Much more confident than me.

After throwing on holy jeans and a simple tank top and jacket, I strolled back inside, wrapping my arms around Edward's waist.

Colleen smiled, "she'll eat mostly anything, but _hates _Bologna. And mustard. Oh, and she'll probably want to take a nap here in about an hour or so."

"Any allergies?"

"_Tide _detergent is all I am aware of so far. And poison ivy."

Edward laughed, "I don't use _Tide_, and there's no poison ivy here, so... we're all good."

"Oh, and when she takes a nap, sometimes she still wants to be rocked or held... I hope you don't mind."

"I don't mind if you don't."

"Okay..." she exhaled.

We all looked down, to see Alyssa on her knees, petting a soaking-wet Spendor and a half-soaking-wet Cora.

"She loves animals," Colleen said. "So that's a plus."

"Go. We'll be fine," Edward pulled me into him and gave me a big kiss, which sent more impulsive shivers. "And you, take care... go easy, okay? No stressing. Promise?"

"I promise," I whispered, rubbing his shoulders, "you too."

"I'm going to be fine. I have a date," he chimed, as Colleen kissed her daughter.

I giggled, kissing him again, "Okay. Love you, have fun."

"Bye."

As Colleen and I left the building, Colleen stuck her hand out, holding a ten dollar bill, "Ten bucks says he makes it thirty minutes before he calls."

I slapped another ten in her hand and said, "Twenty says he pulls it off without a hitch."

"Deal."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Alyssa was a spitting image of her mother, except a little bit more pale-skinned. Same long hair, same wide eyes and pouty mouth.

I gave her some time to get acquainted with my house on her own terms. I quickly picked up anything off the tables worth value and hid them in a closet, then threw all kinds of pillows and stuff on the floor for her.

She stayed put in front of the blank television for a while, petting Cora while I blow-dried and brushed Spendor.

Then, once I turned to finish drying Cora, she bit her lip and sat closer to me, eyeing down the hair dryer.

"Would you like to help me Alyssa?" I asked, as she took another inch closer.

She thought about it for a moment, then reached out for the hair dryer.

"Okay, here, let me help you though," I pulled her in my lap slowly, and aimed the dryer toward Cora, "be gentle and not too close. We don't want to burn her."

The first time she waved the dryer, she conked Cora in the head, causing me to laugh and Cora to yelp a little.

"Sowry puppy," she whispered, patting where she hit, then continuing to dry her.

As she did that, I began to brush through Cora's hair, laughing each time she knocked her in the noggin. Each time got another apology. _Hey, at least she was considerate._

Once the dogs were groomed to Alyssa's approval, we climbed to our feet. While I headed toward the bathroom to put Bella's hair dryer away, I noticed I gained a shadow. Any turn I made, Alyssa made it too.

I smirked and turned toward her, "what are you up to?"

"What chu up to?"

"I asked you first."

"I aststed you... _not _first."

I laughed and held out my hand to her, "come on, shorty. Let's head back in the living room."

She stared at my hand for a moment, then slowly reached up to take it. It amazed me, how tiny she was. Besides the newborns in the hospital, I really hadn't spent much time around little people. I led her out of the bedroom, and closed the door behind me.

Spendor noticed that I was paying attention to someone other than him, and he didn't like it. He started jumping at my legs, barking playfully.

"_No _dogsie!" Alyssa shouted, pushing him away, "don't jump! Bad!"

"Tell him," I joked, leading her to the kitchen. "Are you thirsty?"

She nodded.

I lifted her up on the counter and made sure she was okay to sit by herself, then jogged into the living room to grab her bag, "Let's see... would you like some juicy-juice that your mama brought?"

She shrugged, "not reawly."

"Hmm," I pursed my lips, looking in my fridge, "we have orange juice. I'm sure Aunt Bella wouldn't mind if we had a glass. Would you like that instead?"

She nodded, "cwazy straw."

"What's that?"

She pointed to her bag.

I ruffled through it, and found a neon plastic straw-thing that curled around everywhere, "is this what you want?"

"Does in the cup."

I found her plastic cup in her bag, and filled it up, before securing the lid and inserting the straw, "here you go."

"You first."

I snickered, playing with her little pre-school digital camera that I found in my bag, "you want me to take a sip of mine first?"

She nodded.

"Okay," I took a sip, and she slowly followed, watching me as she drank, "is it good?"

She grinned.

We drank our juice in silence, watching each other. Anytime I lifted the cup to my lips, she did the same to hers.

Anytime I sat it on my lap, she did the same.

She really was in that copycat stage.

When we were finished, I carried her into the living room, and attempted to play with her toys with her.

She didn't want to play.

"Hmm," I said, clicking my tongue as I thought, "...do you like cartoons?"

She shrugged.

"I do," I tried.

"Den I do too."

_Perfect_, I grinned, nestling her beside me on the couch. "What kind do you like to watch?"

"What tind do _you _like to watch?"

"I like anything."

"Den so do I."

I chuckled, turning the television onto _Finding Nemo_.

After about twenty minutes into it, I could tell she was wanting to do something while she watched it.

I cleared off the coffee table and sprawled out her coloring books and crayons. Snapping pictures of us as we worked. Again, she'd only color if I did. So, there I was, sitting on the floor between the table and my couch, coloring in little houses and birds and suns.

Every two minutes or so, she'd make us compare pictures. She always said hers was better than mine, and I'd have to agree.

I wasn't the best at coloring. She pointed that out when she said, "Houses aren't porpple, _duh_."

"Well my dream house _is _purple," I argued back, trying to justify myself.

She didn't buy it, giggling and shaking her head, "you're not wight."

"_You're _not right," I teased, pointing to her picture. "You colored that bird yellow."

"Some birdses _are _that color."

"Ohhhh, I see."

We colored a few pictures, and then she decided she wanted to try and color me. When the crayons didn't work, she took out a marker and began to draw a lopsided heart on the back of my right hand. I let her, thinking _hell, why not? What's it going to harm?_

...That was, until I got a call from the Hospital.

Aimee and Bree informed me that I didn't fill out my time card correctly or sign it, and my hours wouldn't get put in until I did.

I tried to get that heart, and the little flowers she drew on my arm off, but it wouldn't work.

"Hey, uh, Miss Alyssa, would you like to go somewhere with me?"

She shrugged and as I got a good glance at her, I noticed her dress was now covered in marker.

"Shit."

"Shit," she replied.

I gasped, running over to her, "no, no, don't say that. Uh... that's bad, I shouldn't have said that. Uh... Bad me."

She pointed at me, narrowing her eyes, "bad you."

"Yeah that's right, I'm a bad boy... um, hey, would you like to run somewhere with me and then we can get a snack after?"

She smiled and gave me a nod.

"Okay, let's get you into some clean clothes..." I rummaged through her bag, and pulled out a pair of blue jeans that had iron on flowers down the left leg, and a pink hoodie. "Do you need help changing?"

She shook her head, "I can do it."

"Okay..." I tried to give her some space and privacy, but she took forever getting the hoodie over her head. "May I help you?"

"I can do it."

I paced around, checking my watch. Time sheets go in in twenty minutes, so I had to hurry.

She had her shirt backward and was trying to shove her head in into the left arm hole.

"Sweetheart, are you sure?"

She stomped her foot and yanked the shirt off of her head, "fine. Help."

I rushed over to her and assisted with her dressing. Then I scooped her up and we were off. Alyssa loved my convertible. I didn't have any type of car seat deal for her, so I made sure she was tightly buckled in before we left. She giggled as the stoplights soared over her head, and at the birds, and anything else she wasn't used to seeing while in a car.

"Can I wear does?"

"What?"

She pointed to my _Rayban _shades.

I grinned as we pulled up to the intersection and placed them gently over her eyes. They slid down her nose, and she grasped them, putting fingerprints all over the lens, and held them to her face. I snickered at her, shaking my head.

She wanted to be carried into the hospital, so I threw her on my hip and we rushed up the stairs, toward the Maternity floor.

Bree, Aimee and Scotty all greeted me at the front desk there.

"Wow," Aimee said as she sized Alyssa up. "a father all ready. That was fast."

"Funny," I snatched the papers from her hand, and began to skim over my times.

"Edward you look adorable with a child on your hip," Bree grinned. "Very suitable."

"Thanks Bree."

Alyssa turned bashful as soon as Scotty slid toward me, and buried her face in my neck, pouting.

"She doesn't like guys that much," I said. "According to her mother."

"She's being held by a guy."

"I know. It's weird."

Alyssa grippe me tighter, rubbing her eyes on my shoulder. She knocked the sunglasses off of her face, and they crashed to the floor, as she started whimpering. She was getting tired, and fast.

"Almost done," I whispered, trying to sit her on top of the desk.

She about started screaming, latching onto me for dear life.

"Okay, I'm sorry" I readjusted her, since she refused to go on my left hip. Aimee slid the paper beneath my right arm, so I could sign my name without letting go of her. I gave her a grateful smile, which she returned, flipping the page so I could sign that one too.

"Edward, you'll make a good father," she complimented me. "I see it in your eyes."

"Thanks," I smirked, shaking my head, "I've had her for a couple of hours all ready, and it's definitely tiring after a while."

"How old is she?"

"She's three and a half."

Alyssa readjusted her head, fluttering her lashes on me. I could feel her arms loosen their grip a bit, and could tell she was falling asleep. More nurses started surrounding us, cooing in whispers and gently rubbing her back. My other two buddies stood in the corner, shaking their head at me. I fought the urge to flip them off.

"All right," I whispered, looking to the two girls, "all set?"

"All set," Bree smiled. "Are you coming in tomorrow?"

"Uh... not sure yet. I have a few things I want to get done, so we'll see."

Aimee stroked through Alyssa's hair, pulling some of it out of the hoodie for me, "there you go."

"Thanks. See you guys."

"Bye, have a good night."

It was much easier leaving there. I put the top up on my car beforehand, so she wouldn't wake up.

I got more smiles from women as I re-entered _The Escala_. It made me think that the whole _man with a child gives him brownie points _motto was true.

Once we were back, I laid her on the couch with the yellow cover she had in her bag, and began making dinner.

Alyssa tossed and turned a few times, and woke up as soon as dinner was wrapping up.

She began to cry, so I rushed over there, trying to figure out what was wrong with her. She kept reaching out for me, and as soon as I scooped her up in my arms, she calmed down to a tearful sniffle, and began to get tired again.

I put in my favorite _Yiruma _CD, and allowed the soft piano sounds coat her. I wished that I had a piano here of my own, and made a point to get one for my new house with Bella.

Again, she fell asleep in my arms, her shallow breathing tender and heartbeat gentle against my chest. Anytime I tried to put her down, she woke up and began crying.

After texting Makin to make sure it was okay if I laid down beside her, since I didn't want to bother Colleen, I readjusted us on the couch and shut my eyes, allowing the music to drift me into a nice somber as well.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

It's been four damn weeks.

Four damn, blissful weeks, since I told my best friend that I was in love with him.

Four damn weeks since we kissed, and he told me he felt the same way.

Four damn weeks since we started moving my stuff in here, permanently.

But you know what _hasn't _happened in four weeks?

Sex.

Yep, that's right.

There has been no sex in this house. Whatsoever.

Make-outs? Absolutely. Every time we see each other.

But no erotic, passionate, blissful, rowdy, crazy sex.

No sex, period.

And worse, there has been no masturbatory incidents on my end, because fuck me, my life sucks, and vibrators and showerheads and all that shit just doesn't matter now.

They're not good enough.

I want the real thing.

I want to be filled in the best way possible.

And I've tried to be patient.

I've tried to make sure that we don't base our relationship on sex, because we're both nymphs as it is, and we want to make this count.

And it never ever, fucking ever appeared weird that I was in love with my best friend, now that we were acting out on those feelings.

In fact, it felt incredible.

But still, no sex.

And I was at the end of my bitter rope.

I've tried to casually sway him into taking this step with me... remind him that we've had sex before... but that didn't work.

I've tried wearing cutsey little outfits and fixing him dinner and help him around the house... tried stroking his ego, among other things.

No dice.

Therefor, I resorted to drastic measures... first, some butt busting and yoga workouts, which I started ten days ago.

Next, a full Brazilian wax, a manicure and pedicure, and new highlights in my hair.

Finally, setting the mood around the house.

I hate cleaning, I'm not going to lie.

But I freakin' vacuumed and swept and mopped, scrubbed, dusted, and polished, and everything in between, until this house was sparkling.

Then I lit a thousand and one candles.

I knew Jake would get home in about ten minutes, so I finished the final touches on my make up and flipped my hair over, misting it with hair spray, making it build up in body and volume.

Then I took my final position, and closed my eyes, inhaling the beautiful scents of the candles.

A shudder sent through my spine as I heard his car pull down the long drive.

Then more shudders came as I listend to him back it up into the garage.

I bit my lip, praying to God in Heaven that my plan would work.

_Okay Rosalie... show time._

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I slapped my visor shut and turned down my radio, before turning my car off.

I was exhausted. Today had been one of the longest, shittiest day of my entire career. My highest pitch of the hour went south. Only a month after I got my bonus. I know it's probably nothing, but to me, it's everything. I didn't want to be frowned upon, even if it were for just one day.

I loosened my tie and rubbed my face, before climbing out of my car. Normally, I'd be hearing the echoing sounds of _The Dr. Phil Show _in the garage, but today... silence. _That's odd_, I thought, as I took the steps and swung open the door to my kitchen. _Rosalie fucking loves that bald ass freak._

Then I froze, finding Rosalie sitting on my counter, with her back facing me. Bare back, at that... _was she?... No... she couldn't be..._

It was too fucking dark in here, and I started to flick on the light and find out if my suspicions were correct, but then I noticed all of the glowing candles around my house, and _Closer_ playing on the radio gently... the same song we danced to in the club many moons ago. _Shit._

I dropped my shit by the door and slowly walked around the counter, hesitating, trying to quickly distinguish whether or not I could handle this situation. _Fuck_. I knew I couldn't. When I finally got to the end of the counter, I leaned against the sink for support.

There she sat, her knees drawn to her chest, her ankles crossed to hide anything I wanted to see, fucking stillettos... and I could tell from the volumized blonde sex-hair and Marilyn Monroe type of smoky liner and plum lips... she definitely, without a doubt, had an agenda. She wrapped her arms around her legs and rested her chin on her knees, grinning over at me with those sex-filled eyes, "welcome home."

I'm sure I looked stunned, but that's because I was fucking stunned.

"....I missed you," she continued, voice seductive.

Then she spread her fucking legs wide open in front of me.

Of course, my eyes bounced from her pierced nipples and down, but then stopped, when I noticed a silk black tie dangling loosely from her neck, trailing between those perfect breasts, covering her belly button, and ending at the arch of her heat.

It was the same fucking tie I spent twenty minutes trying to find this morning.

"That's my tie," I said huskily, trailing my eyes back up to hers.

She grinned wickedly, tugging on it a bit, "yes it is."

"Where did you find it?" I asked, trying to keep my fucking cool.

"Hamper," she simply replied.

Her body... it fucking _glowed_, and it wasn't just because of the candlelight flickering off of her... She had delicious curves, sexy-ass hips, perfectly flat stomach, and the list just went on and on. I was fucked.

I licked my lips, making sure to show a hint of my tongue ring, as I trailed my eyes back down and she lifted the tie up a bit, all the way to her core... _oh fuck me_. She was waxed.

"Like what you see?" she asked, as I trailed my eyes back up her body.

I nodded.

She tossed the tie over her right shoulder, and leaned back on her elbows, spreading those sexy legs more, "come here."

I'm not sure if I was breathing, but I was definitely past drooling at this point. No woman had this type of effect on me... I was always in control.

I took a step closer, trying to remember how to exhale. Then another baby step.

"Tsk, tsk," she said, shaking her head. She lifted her legs in the air, found my body, and jerked me hard to her, causing my belt to slam into the counter beneath her ass, "I said, _come here_."

Her fingers slid down my arms and ribs, beneath the legs that were still locked behind me, and curled into the loops on my jeans. She tilted her head, rolling that tongue seductively on the inside edge of her bottom lip, "did you miss me too?"

I silently cleared my throat, "Yes."

She grinned, pushing me back softly then jerking me back to her, "did you miss me... a lot?"

I smirked, placed my hands on either side of the counter, and leaned forward, zoning my lusted eyes on hers. I parted my lips, secretly enjoying watching her eyes bounce to them, then back up to my eyes, "more than you know."

"Well, Jake, here's the thing," she whispered nonchalantly, "I need to tell you something, and I hope you don't get upset with me for it."

"Okay... what is it?"

She slid her hands up my arms and tangled them into the top of my hair, pulling me closer so she could press her bare breasts against my shirt and whisper in my ear, "I can't get off without you now, and... I'm hoping to get you off, too... I really want to, actually..." She pulled back, locking her eyes with mine, "what do you say?"

I inhaled through my nose, keeping my composure, lingering on her question.

She tilted her head, smiling sensually up at me, "hmm?"

"I'd say," I whispered, leaning forward to press my lips against hers but not kiss yet, "it sounds like you want me to fuck you."

"Ohhhh, I do, very much so." Rosalie tightened her legs around me, fisted my hair around her fingers, and slid her tongue in my mouth slowly.

I hummed and absorbed her sweet taste, gently swirling my tongue around hers. I didn't dare grab her yet. Knew it'd be too much.

Plus, in a way, I kind of wanted to make her sweat it out a little. Because that's the way we were; as friends, and as lovers. We liked to play games and tease each other. _In fact..._

I pulled away, and took a few steps back, leaning against the sink.

Rosalie's lips were parted, her eyes wide in shock. "Where are you going?" she asked, still stunned.

On the inside, I was grinning like an idiot, but on the outside, it was nothing but cockiness and almost asshole-ish behavior. She loved it anyway. "Over here."

"Why?"

I shrugged, playing it off, "thought you might need a minute to cool off."

"I don't _need _a minute," she shook her head, trying not to sound aggressive, "I just need... _you_."

I looked away, fighting back a smirk, "I think it may be too soon still."

"Jacob," she hissed. "It's not. I _love _you."

I bit the inside of my lip, not meeting her eyes, "I don't want our relationship being based on sex." _But I still want to fuck you really fucking badly._

"It won't. Get _over _here."

Staying arrogant, I shrugged my shoulders and cocked my head, before narrowing my eyes back at her, "how are you so sure that it won't be?"

She took a deep breath, dangling her heel off the counter, remaining her calm, "because... I only want you, Jake. No one else. Ever again."

_That's my girl, _I thought._ That's what I wanted to hear._

I folded my arms over my chest, playing it up just a tiny bit more, "and you're positive you're not going to change your mind?"

She nodded, starting to look rejected and guilty for being sprawled out, butt-ass naked on my kitchen counter.

_Wrap it up, Jake. Don't let her freak out. _I licked my lips and walked over to her, running my hands from her knees, up along her thighs, to her hips. Then I jerked her hard against me, enjoying the sound of her ass scraping the counter top.

She gasped, her hands finding my biceps, "Ahh, Jake."

I lifted my eyebrow, leaning in to her lips, "so you want it rough, hmm?"

She nodded, scraping her fingernails over my shirt, "a little."

I shook my head, staring into those beautiful, expectant, pin-up eyes, "I can be a little rough..."

She slid the rest of the way off the counter, wrapping herself around me before I even grabbed a hold of her, "let's get to it then."

I chuckled and set her to her feet, where she pouted a little bit. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking a little confused.

The one advantage I had about being her best friend before her lover was, I knew about her sexual history. I knew that she'd done a few things... but no man every, fucking ever had the balls to surprise her, or handle her in a way that she wanted to be, because Rosalie was the intimidator in her past relationships.

She wore the daddy pants, so to speak.

And I wasn't like that. The pants stayed on me, always.

I held her hand, walking around and blowing out a few candles that were on top of my dining room table, along with all of the silver place settings, wine glasses, white table cloth, etc.

She started to question me, looking around as if she was afraid I didn't like the candles and romance.

_But if she wanted me to actually fuck her then... I may as well give her a show too, right?_

Keeping her to my right side, I swung my arm out, knocking over every god damn thing on that entire table off. It all went flying, crashing to the ground, the glass doors, and the wall, anything that was breakable was crushed, anything that couldn't break was bent or ricocheing back toward us.

I twisted around and grabbed her by the hips, kicking over the closest chair to me sideways, and sat her on top of the table.

She gasped, her eyes beyond wide and shocked. When she reached up to me, her hands were physically shaking.

I smirked, pushing her back to lay down, and crawled over her, on top of the table. I had built the table with my own hands, so I knew it would hold us, no problem.

She began to claw at me, but I held her down a little, before attacking her neck. "Ahhh, Jake," she moaned, arching her back beneath me, as far as it would go.

I slid my hands up along her body, making sure to take my feel as I went. Because hell, if she was offering herself to me, I was most definitely going to enjoy it.

She fumbled between us, finding my belt buckle with her trembling fingers. Even though she was working to undo it, I pushed into her center, enjoying the feel of the heat pushing back onto my jeans. She moaned, throwing her head back so hard it made an awful sound making contact with the table.

I slid my hands beneath her arms, and curled them around the back of her shoulders, yanking her down and against me, "stay."

"Ungh," she moaned and bunched up the back of my shirt, as I pushed into her center again, "let me take this off for you."

"Shhhh," I whispered in her ear, "I said to _stay_."

I made my way down her body, trailing my tongue ring down the dip in her neck, over her collar bone, between her breasts, continuing so I could swirl around her belly button and linger inside of it.

Again, she started to pull and grasp at my collared shirt, but I only had a few left that were worth a damn these days, so I didn't want her to shred it.

"Jake, please, a-aren't you hot? Let me take this off."

I buried my face into her stomach, feeling my head bounce rapidly since she was breathing so heavily. _Man I was turning her on. _I fucking absorbed that shit like a sponge.

I kept moving, until I hit the end of the table. Then I fell onto the chair there, and yanked her body until she was spread out like a dinner buffet in front of me. _Perfect_.

She started to sit up and see what the hell I was doing and why the fuck I got off the table, but as soon as she looked down, I spread her folds gently with my tongue, opening her up. I locked my eyes with her, dragging the flat end of it slowly, all the way up, then turning my tongue on the underside, and trailing back down.

She was all ready wet and slick, and her arousal filled every one of my senses, hypnotizing me. I allowed my tongue ring to dance around her entrance, teasing her for a while, before trailing back up. Then I started to use the tip of my tongue, teasing her, while my lips kissed around her.

Her thighs were trembling, those heels clanking against the sides of my wooden chair while I worked. She fisted her hands in her air, moaning loudly, as I sped and slowed my pace to my leisure.

I remembered how, when we played twenty questions back in the Cabin and she was interested in Emmett, I asked her who gave her the best head. She said me. So of course, I was going to fucking prove to her _why _she said me and no one else. I thought briefly about turning on the vibrating end of my ring, but realized I didn't need it and should save it for another time.

"Oh fuck," she gasped, arching her back and pushing down toward my mouth, "you're so good at this! Uhhh..."

I smirked against her skin, continuing. Up, down, around, in, out. I made sure to fucking lick and suckle, tease and taunt, dip, enter, lather, I did it all, willingly. Hell, I would have gone lower, if I knew she liked it, because I was sure that every single part of her was edible... _I'd have to ask her about that one later._

When I had her going out of her mind and at the very, final edge of her climax, I stopped, forcing myself to pull from the pulsing of her muscles on my tongue.

She shot up, gasping and covering her chest, silently asking me why I stopped. For a moment, I thought she was going to pull my hair and shove me back there. Instead, she took over while I caught my breath, sliding into my lap. I started to grip her hips, but she smacked my hands away, continuing until she was beneath the edge of the table, on her knees in front of the chair that I was sitting in.

I don't know how she did it, but it took about two seconds flat for her to undo my belt, pull that off, undo my pants, dig into my boxers, and pull me out. I was in her mouth quicker than I could blink.

I hissed, arching on the back two legs of the chair as she started to suck me in hard, the end of me hitting the back of her mouth, "fuck."

She hummed, digging her fingernails into the sides of my jeans, and pushed on, sliding me into the heated tightness of her throat.

I couldn't even curse physical words. Instead, I was left with my mouth gaping open, watching her work. The one thing that I never really enjoyed that much was head, because not too many girls were good at it... but she, she was an exception. Better than Bryan. Better than anyone. _Damn, I picked a good one._

I blew out a gust of air as she pulled me out, then held it when she took me back in, this time, wrapping her fingers around the base. She simultaneously started to stroke and suck at the same time, licking the underneath. Anytime that I wasn't watching her and the saliva on my dick, I was rolling my eyes in the back of my head. It felt that damn good.

My hands found her hair, and I gently pushed her head down, and she began to hum as she took me in the way I wanted her to. Another breath of air escaped my throat as I leaned back in the chair, enjoying the moment. I didn't even push on her anymore, instead just resting my hands on the top of her hair.

"Unh, Rose," I clamped my eyes shut, trying not to feel how I hit inside of her throat, "I'm close."

She slid her lips up, releasing me with a pop, "I don't fucking think so."

I dropped the chair back onto all fours, narrowing my eyes down at her.

"You're doing it inside of me."

I grabbed a hold of her and pushed the chair back, twisting us around, to where I was above her on top of the floor, "oh, is that what you want?"

"Yes."

I wanted to ask if she was back on the Pill, but I remember her taking it the past few mornings, so I threw caution to the wind, sliding down my pants the rest of the way. This was the first time in my entire life I decided to go without anything. This was the first time I put trust in someone else besides myself.

And of course, she fucking ripped the buttons off of my shirt, because she's horny. I took my aggressions about it on her, sucking on her neck with vigor, pushing her down onto the rug beneath my dining room table. I held her by the shoulders, keeping the rough part of the bargain.

She threw her legs around me and reached her hands between us. Taking matters in her own hands, she started to tease her own entrance with my tip, lapping me with her lubrication.

Before I could even pull in a breath to save my life, she squeezed her legs around me and lifted herself up with them, sliding me inside. I crashed down on top of her by accident, slamming all the way inside, toward her back walls.

"Shit, fuck, I'm sorry," I apologized through a hiss, trying to not think about my dick and how good it felt to be submerged into her.

"Fuck it," Rose yanked me by the back of my hair, licking then biting above my adam's apple.

Gripping her hips, I lifted both myself and her up a bit, then slammed us back down into the ground, pushing back as far as I could go.

She moaned and gasped at the same time, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and clutching to me, "do it, take me."

She didn't have to tell me twice. I didn't play that way. Once I was in, I was _in_.

I began to pound relentlessly into her, saving up all my built-up sexual tension and throwing it at her. I didn't stay quiet, instead grunting and panting into her ear when necessary. She fucking loved it anyways, egging me on by licking at my ear and neck, biting into my shoulder, raking her nails down my back. Hell, I wished I had neighbors around so everyone could hear the noises I was making come from her. That'd be fun.

It felt like no matter how deep I was in or how tight and willing she was, it wasn't enough. I wanted more of her. More of this. _More, more, more._

I withdrew and tossed her around, pushing us both to our knees. Then I spread her legs with my hands and entered her from behind, while she held onto the seat of the chair. She yanked my hair, pulling her back to my chest. So I did it back to her, grabbing a fistful of hers. She moaned, I groaned. She bit my hand, I bit her shoulder.

She wanted to play rough, no problem on my end. I enjoyed hearing the sounds of our skin making contact. I enjoyed smacking her ass and making her shout my name. And it wasn't because I wanted to treat her like she was a piece of meat, because we both knew she wasn't.

But I never got to really let loose with anyone in this way, and I should have known it would have been Rosalie that let me take on those primal, animalistic feelings. I should have known it'd be her, in all of her beautiful, sexy, dominance, that brought out the equal in me.

She pushed the chair away from her and bent over onto her elbows, arching that pretty ass up to me. I watched as I entered and withdrew from her, watched how she was pink and slick, watched how she shivered and trembled, struggling to hold on for as long as possible.

"Jake," she panted, her hands reaching behind her to my thighs, "turn me around."

I licked my lips and parted, turning her around. We slowed our tempos, trying to catch our breath, as she straddled my lap.

We both watched as she slipped me back inside, and she smiled at me, looking me directly in my eyes. Within a second, our entire moods changed completely. I kissed her gently, letting my lips linger over hers, as I raised and lowered her on top of me. It was intimate, both of us sitting, facing each other. She began to rock and push against me, swaying her hips forward, taking all of me in deep, then pulling me almost all of the way out. Fucking slow and torturously perfect. I ran my hands down her back, and she buried her face into the crook of my neck, while her fingers stroked the back of my head.

"I love you," she whispered as she moved.

I shut my eyes, burying them into her shoulder, as I slowed us a little bit more. I never felt this good. Never had it this good. Never went from fun and aggressive, to sensual and intimate, all in the same time... Hell, when I really thought about it, I'd never really been sensual and intimate before. Ever. Not even when she and I were together in the cabin. Because now, our feelings were out in the open. Now, we could show and say how we felt, willingly. _Speaking of..._ "I love you too, babe."

She hummed, pulling back and pressing her forehead to mine. She cradled my face in her hands, helping me lift and pull her. Rose started to shake, and bit her lip, fighting back, "Ahhh, I don't want this to stop. Please don't stop."

I shut my eyes, kissing her. Our tongues met in the middle, and I pulled hers into my mouth. She fisted into my hair, but didn't tug it, instead pushing me into her face. She gently bit down on my bottom lip and tugged it out a bit, teasing me. _She knew I loved shit like that. _I smirked, peppering more kisses on her lips.

All of a sudden, her eyes clamped shut, and she started to quicken her pace, rocking more fiercefully in my lap. I could all ready feel her walls tighten, and knew that no matter what I did at that point, she was about to go over the edge. I tilted her ass back and front forward with my hands a bit, so she could hit her G-spot with the top-side of my dick as I thrusted on. She bit her lip, panting hot air over my face. I moved her a little bit more, and that was all it took.

She inhaled deep through her nose, squeezing her arms around my neck and burying her face into my neck. She couldn't even speak, it hit her so hard. She shook and trembled, her body pulling me in and clamping tight around me.

I continued to move her as she moaned into my neck, her thighs clasping tight against me. That must have set off a second orgasm, because her lips found my ear, and she let out the sexiest, "Ffffuck," I had ever heard, and her body was so tight around my dick at that moment, I couldn't handle it anymore.

Holding her all the way against me and pushing myself as deep as possible, I released hard. I buried my nose into her clammy collar bone, inhaling her scent selfishly.

More sexy curse words and "uhhhh's" came from her as I filled her up to the brim.

And as soon as I was milked dry, it felt like the entire world fell on top of me. I was _exhausted_ and that rarely happens with me after sex.

But again, this was different.

I lay back on the cold floor of the dining room, closing my eyes and breathing through my nose.

She pushed forward, our bodies still connected and causing me to hiss, and laid on top of my chest. Any little movement she made while I was still inside of her, especially now that she was _this _tight... _damn_.

When I was finally able to move and think at the same time, I sat us both us, and lifted her off of my lap. My legs felt like fucking jello, and I didn't want to walk around like Gumbi, so I took my time standing up. I think we were both stunned about how good and numb we felt.

We didn't bother to clean up all of the shit I knocked off of the table. We just blew out the candles, stepped around the clutter, and headed straight to bed.

And I'm telling you, wrapping her in my arms that night... it was the best feeling in the entire world.

It made me feel like a God.

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**BellaPOV**

It took way longer than what I expected for my final fitting. Plus we had to pick up all of the other bridesmaids, maid of honor, flower girl dresses, and all of hte accessories.

We had to have spent more than five hours in that damn store.

I couldn't get a hold of Edward on his cell, which made me nervous, but I didn't want to act nervous, since Alyssa was with him and it'd panic Colleen.

It was damn near eleven by the time we got back to _The Escala_. Tommy, our bellhop, helped us carry everything to the door. He was so sweet. I nicknamed him 'pops', because he was so loving toward me and Edward. I grew quite attached to him.

Unlocking the door, the three of us fumbled into the dark living room.

I turned on the light, and both Colleen and I gasped, clutching over our hearts.

There he was, my everything, laying on the couch. Alyssa was on her stomach above him, her head over his chest. They were both asleep.

She had a tiny yellow blanket wrapped around her, and her tiny hand pressed beside her head on him. He had his left hand on her little back, and his right hand beneath his head. His face was turned inward, toward the couch cushions.

Cora and Spendor were also asleep peacefully, both on the floor in front of the couch.

Classical music played gently from the speakers, and the television was on mute, the captions playing over the screen.

It was the most adorable, sensitive, sweetest thing I had ever seen.

I wasn't sure if it was all the overwhelming emotions of seeing how nurturing he was with a little girl, or trying on my wedding dress, or being pregnant with the love of my life's child, or anything else... but I couldn't help myself as a silent tear ran down my cheek.

It briefly reminded me of being younger and sleeping on Charlie's chest, when he'd come home from working. All he did was take off his gun belt, and he'd let me sleep on his chest like that, in his police uniform. I said it made me feel more safe in it.

Then I thought briefly about Phil letting me rest my head on his knee when I had a headache, and sleep.

Either way, sometimes a girl just wanted to feel protected.

And seeing Alyssa with Edward... my gosh, it was so beautiful.

"Awe, Bells, come here," Colleen whispered, giving me a side hug. "It's okay. This is a good thing."

I nodded, swiping my face quickly, and whispering back, "I know it is. I just... it's all real. I keep thinking sometimes that this is all a figment of my imagination, and one day I'm going to wake up either alone with someone else, and realize that Edward never came back into my life."

"But he did," she whispered softly, "and he's back, and he's right there, and he loves you... Bella you guys are getting married and are going to have a baby of your own... it can't get any better than that."

"I know," I smiled, inhaling slowly, "I know it can't. I'm just so happy.. I truly am. This is all really real, and it's crazy, but I'm just... I'm happy!"

"Good, because you deserve it. You both do."

"Thanks, Colls."

"I almost don't want to wake them," she giggled, "she didn't even warm up that quick to Makin. In fact, she never really lets guys hold her for longer than a few moments..."

"I almost don't want you to wake them either," I admitted, tilting my head.

She walked over to the chair, and dug into Alyssa's bag.

"What are you doing?"

I watched as she pulled out a little camera, and turned it on, "documenting."

I watched as she tip-toed over there and snapped the picture, without using the flash. Then she snapped a few more. After that, she ran over and hit the button so we can review it. And we both turned into gushing coo-ers, because they were adorable.

"I want a copy," I whispered, "asap."

"You got it." She started to turn it off, but then decided to scroll through.

And then we gasped _again_. They had documented their entire day! With the dogs, playing with plastic unicorns and horses, coloring, her drawing on his hands, them eating a little bit, her asleep on the couch... I shut my eyes, smiling to myself. Never, ever, ever had I been more excited about where our future was leading.

Colleen and I decided to wait a little while longer, cleaning up around the house and putting the dinner that Edward cooked into the fridge.

I just wanted to watch them sleep for a while longer...

I could watch him hold that little girl forever.

And I couldn't wait until it was _ours _that he was protecting so dearly.

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 26! **

**-- Real quick, when you look back at the previous chapter where Bella/Edward talked about their past relationships, they were talking about who they had ACTUAL sex with. Which is why Bella did NOT mention Ryan, and Edward DID mention Aimee. ;)**

-- NOOOOO Edward would not have and will not again take those drugs or any others. Sometimes he and Alice have to use EXTREME measures to get the other to wake up. It's just how they are. Please start trusting our Edward!! ;)

**-- A few people have asked why B/E struggle so much w/money if he's rich. Well, please remember that Edward doesn't get that Children's Hospital until he's 25, as requested by his grandfather. And they also both have a LOT in each of their names, and it can be a challenge w/banks to take out another loan when you have so much out, no matter how good your credit is.**

**-- Sorry there wasn't that much J/A in this chapter. I'll make it up to you!! ;) And no, Alice's problems will not be just forgotten. It's all in the works. Oh, and if you're a little upset by the way Jasper/Makin's apartment looks in the pics, realize that not everyone is going to have money. It's not that important to them. :D**

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**

**-- I wanted to go ahead and answer a few commonly asked questions that I get from readers. BC I'm not sure when I'd have time for an Open House on Twilighted just yet.  
Hope it helps.1. How long does it take for an update to come?  
**I normally try to update once a week, AT LEAST, but sometimes twice per week. It depends on how chaotic things get in my personal life or my beta's, but I try to keep it within a steady time each upload.

**2. How did the idea for The Ex Factor come across?  
**I was sicker than a dog on Christmas Eve. My husband and I were staying over at my Parent's, to open presents in the morning, since I hadn't spent Christmas with my family in four years. (I've been living in Florida). Because I was sick, I decided to stay up and watch television, and I came across a show on MTV, "Ex Factor". It was the only thing worth watching at three in the morning. I liked the idea of the MTV show, where they were in other relationships, but forced into this house together to battle out their reasonings, and see if there were any sparks left... the rest of the show wasn't as appealing, but I got a main idea. So, as I got confusingly into this stupid show, I started to think in my head about Edward and Bella... if they had ever been exes in a story that I had personally read, and the answer was no... and then I thought, "well what if something really bad happened to make them break up? Something that a lot of people wouldn't get?" Because most of the stories I read, there was angst, but it was directly between the two of them, in _this _particular type of situation... so I kept plotting and plotting, I stayed up all night long, and in the morning, I was dying to rush home and type it up. But I couldn't, because I had to spend time with my family, HAHA. But that's where it came from.  
**  
3. Why did you decide to not do a back story at the beginning, to get us more informed?  
**I find the most intriguing movies are the ones that just toss you in the middle of the mixture and make you find a way to dig yourself out. That way, you learn with the characters. 

**4. How do you keep all the characters straight, with their clashing personalities?  
**HAHA, I cannot escape these characters if I tried. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, who I'm with, what I'm listening to on the radio, watching on television, or what I'm seeing in print... I know it sounds crazy, but I literally hear these voices in my head. It happens with any story I write, but never this badly. I'll be watching a movie, and have a thought in my head that isn't something I'd say out loud, but then I'd think, "Oh, that's such an Emmett thing to say"... then I go and write it down in my notebook, HAHA, so I won't forget. I keep two notebooks around. A big one by my computer, where I scribble notes and actors names I want to incorporate in my stories, or whatever... then I have a tiny notebook I keep in my purse, where I write song lyrics, or little quotes I want to add, and whatnot.  
But I find that the characters are VERY easy to distinguish. Each one has a different characteristic that STANDS OUT. 

EDWARD is the cocky and stubborn, but most loving. He wants the best out of people, and the best comes out of himself when he's around these people. EMMETT is the funny, carefree, tell it like it is, whether you like it or not, teddy bear. But he's still very much a child and doesn't get a lot unless it's spelled out in front of him, or happening to his friends and not him. ROSALIE is the girl I tried to hate in high school. She appears beautiful and tall on the outside, but has a lot of insecurities on the inside. But she never gives up, and she keeps trying. JASPER is the one who keeps it calm, keeps it together, has no need to start a fight if he can help it, but also has this sexy, dark, sexual side that is sort of dominant. ALICE is the chipper, bouncy girl, who has many, many, MANY depths to her make-up. She's loving, she'll fight for you, she'll stand up for you and support you, but she doesn't know how to do these things for herself. She's very one-sided and internally challenged. JACOB is my underdog. He's the youngest, so he still has a bit of immaturity when it comes to competition (like w/Edward in the beginning), but is also very smart and FULL of passion, and though he was the last to really start showing improvement, I knew that when it came out, he was just going to come out like a flood, and I loved that. And BELLA, she's everything in a woman that we all love and hate. She's loving and strong and powerful, but she's also insecure, she worries, she has a difficult past, and every day is both a fun and complex challenge, but she overcomes that, because she IS a woman, and as a WOMAN, we find our strength in our moments of weakness -- as she is trying to do.

**5. You're so good at making me hate someone in one chapter, then love them in the next, then pick one side, then the other... Why do you keep doing that?  
**Just goes to show you that we all battle our demons every single day. No one is perfect and we can't all be right. This story just shows both good and bad sides of each type of person.  
**  
6. All of your chapters are based on music... What are you currently listening to?  
**I have so many. Seriously, my computer is on overload, as well as my 60GB Zune. It's awful. BUT currently, I'm loving The Fray, Snow Patrol, Tyrone Wells, Justin Nozuka (thanks for the reader recc on him!!), Secondhand Serenade, John Mayer, Jackson Waters, Kings Of Leon, Lifehouse, One Republic, Ray Lamontange, David Cook... the list goes on and on and on. Of course, I also have my older rock, such as Ted Nugent, Def Leppard, Lynard Skynard, Led Zepplin, Bad Company, White Lion, The Beatles, and the king, Elvis... again, it goes on and on. Anything with strong lyrics that move me are the ones I use in my stories. I'm a sucker for lyrics.  
**  
7. Do you read FanFiction as well? If so, what are you currently reading? Any suggestions?  
**I do read FF. I was only introduced to the world of Fan Fiction in November, and I LOVED it. I thought it'd be great practice for me, to find my strengths in writing, and to be critiqued to learn... that way the more that I write, I'll have that experience under my belt. But I love "Wide Awake" by AngstGoddess. It was my first FanFic that I REALLY got into. (Though I'm like 10 chapters behind on it now!!) What can I say? She really is a genius when it comes to that story. It's rated so high on everyone's lists for a reason. Other stories I've read or am reading are: "The Perfect Wife" by rmcrms5, "The Submissive" & "The Dominant" by Tara Sue Me, "The Honeymoon's Over" by charlsad, "Coming To Terms" by GinnyW 31, "Bella Hale" by JulesSC, "Resisting Edward" & "Seducing Edward" by ooohlala, "Snap" by AllIHaveIsYou, "An Unfortunate Look Into Bella's Lovesick Psyche" by inthestars, and lately I just got into "The Office" by tcby789, as it was a reader recc that I fell in love with. ... Not to mention the COUNTLESS stories on my "TO READ" bookmark list. There's so many damn stories out there, and I want to read them all. It's hard to do that and write, but it's an nice release when you need a break.

**8. Are you planning to get The Ex Factor published, or to publish a novel?  
**Honestly, I don't think I have any plans to get TEF published right now. Reasons being, it uses the F word a lot. More than I say in my life. It's very vulgar and in your face. Sexual. Raw. Honest. Not to mention, I don't know of a book where it's had this many POV's and dramatic situations... a few people have mentioned hiring a screenwriter and see if I can get it turned into a television series (w/new character names, of course) but... I just don't know. But I AM writing a novel I hope to be published, which is NOTHING like these stories. I don't want to say too much about it, bc it's like my unborn child that I want to already protect, but I will say that it's about a girl who's my age (24) who's struggling to find herself, being cast under someone's shadow in a constant basis, until something unexpected happens and everything changes. 

**9. Are you planning on writing another EB Fanfic story after this??  
**ABSOLUTELY! More practice!! I actually have a few in my mind (as ideas pop in my head every day) that I'm working on... including a high school story which I haven't done yet... But lately, there's one that's more of a mystery, angsty, edge of your seat one with all these twists and turns, that I'm planning in my head... it was inspired by a few movies, and hit me hard and fast, as did The Ex Factor, so I'm really leaning on that one. When something happens like that, where it's overtaking your thoughts, you know it needs to get out. So yeah, I'm about to talk w/a couple of ppl and see what the odds are of writing it and what they think, and then I'll probably start on it after a few more chapters of this get uploaded. :D

**10. Who do you like more, Edward or Robert?  
**Uh... can I have one of both? :D Please? I'll share, I promise.  
... Just a nibble? *_begs_* ;)**  


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**Still narrowing down the Boys's names. Again, thank you for all of the votes and selections. I wish we could use them all!  
Here's a list of the highest voted from the last round. So tell me ONE first name and ONE middle name, and then we'll have our selects!!**

**Here we go:****  
Anthony, Aiden, Alexander, Asher  
Benjamin, Braden  
Charles, Charlie, Caleb  
Edward, Ethan  
Gabriel, Grayson  
Jayden  
Kingston  
Logan, Landon, Lucas  
Michael, Mason (Masen)  
Noah, Nicholas  
Ryan, Robert  
Seth  
Tristan  
William**

**Reviews are better than coloring hearts on Edward's hand! :D**


	27. Entering Eternity

**PLEASE REVIEW!**!  
To my **Readers**.... 4000+ reviews! My goodness, THANK YOU! I am sorry that I lack in PM responses lately, but I hope any questions you have asked in reviews have been answered, via response or future chapters. Thank you for all of your love, support, for recc'ing me to your friends, family, on Lion_Lamb & Twilighted, etc. I adore all of you. This chapter is dedicated to you. All 69 pages and 40,803 words of it.

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven: No summary, just enjoy. Mostly ALL E/B Pov's this chapter. :D**

**NOTE: ALL THE PICTURES OF OUTFITS, RINGS, LOCATIONS, ETC ARE IN MY PROFILE. I busted my butt, researching for almost 2 weeks to get every specific detail I wanted down and saved, so it would mean the world to me if you took the time to check all of the photos out! I uploaded them all to my LiveJournal, so it'll be easier for you all to see. Link still in profile under 'Chapter 27'.**

**Thank you for all who have given me more than 135 votes for a boy name and more than 259 votes for a girl name, in just this last set of rounds within reviews and pms and Twilighted Forums. I narrowed them down by who mentioned the same name, in the same order 'same first, then same middle', and whichever got the higest votes for each sex, those were the winners. The girl select was decide by a landslide, while the boy select won by a total of 5 votes. And again, no I did not vote. Your winning choices are mentioned in this chapter!**

**Special shout-outs: To my Twilighted girls, for all of your song select options, and for living off of the many spoilers and no chapter for a few days! I adore you guys. Suzy, my welcome wagon girl -- haha, I had to mention you separate bc I love the welcome wagon noises so much! (Our welcome wagon has a frickin' bell, how cool is that?!?!) To ctc13love4mommy for the Justin Nozuka recc. To Purple83 for all of the flower reference help -- MAN do I owe you a billion Edwards this chapter! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AmberEnergi AND Purple83 as well!!!  
To revrag -- Your last review with the counter top comment had me rolling on the ground with laughter. I'm still laughing!!**

**I've had quite a few new readers who finished the story thus far and are reading this chapter along with the rest of us. Since I can't respond to all of the reviews, I wanted to say an official WELCOME and I'm glad you're enjoying the story!!**

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** **NEW EDIT**:**

1. Thanks you guys for letting me know Asia is a continent and not a country. *_points to blonde hair_* I'm sure Bella/Edward wouldn't make that mistake. HAHA!!  
2. I have offended a few people with the mormon/polygamy comment, & I give you my sincere apologies. As I write, I make mistakes and I learn, but I try to research the best I can. I used Google to see if I could find a state where someone could have more than 1 spouse, and Yahoo Answers told me that it was illegal everywhere, but in Utah was more lenient, as there were a lot of 'Mormons' (their words/not mine) who had more than one wife. When I put it in the story, I didn't realize what it looked like, and I am sorry if this chapter has offended you. I should have looked into the religion before I mentioned it. I won't make the mistake again! Please forgive!  
3. Cupid Shuffle, Continent, and religion comment fixed. Thanks guys.

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**---- NO BETA THIS CHAPTER; PLEASE EXCUSE ANY/ALL ERRORS. ---  
(My Beta should be back starting next chapter!)  
AGAIN, PLEASE CHECK THE PROFILE AND LOOK AT THE PICTURES!  
-- Important Announcements At The Bottom. --**

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_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours.  
To touch, just to feel, a love that seems to overpower me.  
She's all I'll ever need.  
And you know her love just hypnotizes me.  
'Til all I see... is beautiful.  
At night I dream that you were sent to me from heaven.  
My life, it seemed so lonely here without your presence.  
You could change my everyday...  
And I could never think of love without your name,  
As you remain... beautiful."  
Trading Yesterday, "Beautiful"**_

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**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Entering Eternity**

**EdwardPOV**

_I was empty._

Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I told myself that I was dreaming... but in this particular moment, it felt real.

_The alter, me in my tuxedo, mouth agape... listening as high-heels clunked along hard-wood floors, running away from me... I couldn't breathe._

_Everyone and everything had vanished but me and the isle in front of me. "Bella," I whispered, as a tear fell from my chin. "Don't."_

_"I'm sorry, Edward," her voice sounded, in a whimpered whisper, surrounding off the walls, echoing around my fragile skin, "I can't marry you."_

_"Please don't..."_

_"I can't marry you... I can't... I can't..."_

_Fight for her Edward. I took off running, listening to the voice in my mind, telling me not to let her go twice in a lifetime. "BELLA!" I shouted, panting... with each step I took to find her, another step grew to the isle... stretching, and stretching, and stretching... All the walls lifted and vanished into white nothingness... the ground was white as well, only the red carpet of the isle stretched in a long, endless line in front of me... There was nothing but me there. Nothing and no one. I was deserted. "Bella!" I screamed, as sweat streamed down from my forehead, "don't go! Please don't go!"_

_"I'm sorry Edward," her voice echoed again, so distant and haunting. _

_"Please," I panted, as my lungs threatened to explode from the pressure I was putting on them, to keep me moving, to keep the struggle alive. "Wait, please."_

_Each step brought me to another moment of emptiness. Another lost second without her. Another second... another minute... another hour... another day... another week... another month... another year... then another year... and another... and another..._

_Running, and running, and running, she was gone and I was here, chasing after her and never meeting her. There was no absolution to this. There was no happy ending._

_"Bella," I tripped on my feet and crashed down onto the bloody red carpet in front of me. It threatened to pull me in, to make me sink into it's darkened depths, but I fought against it. Scrambling back up and wincing at the pain against my knees and ribs, I pushed forward, trying to figure out how the ground beneath me was now solid again. "Bella, please..." I whimpered and limped, my breath so heavy around me that I knew I wasn't going to make it ten more steps. _

_Suddenly clear walls crashed in front of me at every angle, blocking me inside of them. I started screaming, banging against them, "let me out! Hey! Let me out!!" Sweat poured from my face like gallons of river water and I felt like my lungs were on fire. My heart pounded against my skin, threatening to rip out. It felt as if all the air surrounding me was being sucked out of the box I was trapped inside of. You're going to suffocate, Edward._

_Suddenly, she appeared. White dress, long hair draped down her shoulders and across her chest... Hands lifeless at her sides, eyes blank, lips parted. Looking at me with the same intensity of as I was looking at her... Only her eyes were empty, and mine were desperate._

_"Please Bella," I begged, "save me, please."_

_She blinked slowly, eyes blank as the night._

_"Baby please," I whimpered, begging, as the pain intensified in my legs and ribs, my skin started to tighten around me, and the last few seconds of oxygen hung in the distance._

_She rubbed her stomach, looking at me, but not seeing me. Not wanting to see me._

_"Please baby, save me!" I screamed, "SAVE ME, don't let them keep me in here!"_

_I pounded at the glass, but it was unbreakable... more and more of my skin tightened, and I felt myself start to strangle, gasping for air. The clench of my fist weakened, and I could feel the blood vessels in the corners of my eyes popping. "Save me," I gasped, trying to grab my throat, and somehow trap the air inside._

_"I can't save you," she said, voice ice cold and bitter. "You never let anyone save you..."_

_"No," I chocked, as sweat, and tears slipped down, "it's n-not true... y-you did sav.... save me." I coughed and wiped my mouth, ignoring the blood on my hand as I looked back up to her. _

_And she wasn't evil looking, or demonic... just beautiful, in her white dress, hair cascading, flawless skin covering her stomach that held our child inside of it._

_"You did save me," I whispered, crying._

_She shook her head mouthing something, but no words could come out._

_'What?' I tried to say, but couldn't because I was too weak... I knew I only had seconds left._

_"Edward, wake up." Her lips moved, but it wasn't her voice._

_"Bella, please don't leave me... Let me let you save me..." I begged._

_"Edward, wake up," she said again, in another distant voice._

_"Bella," I whimpered, one last time, as the white surroundings grew darker and darker... into night and black nothing. "please don't leave me again..."_

"EDWARD! Wake the fuck up, we're late!"

Something struck my face, and I shot up, snapping myself out of the dream.

My entire body was drenched in sweat, and I had tears coming down my face, but I knew where I was.

_It's just a dream_, I thought, panting and swallowing hard. _It was just a dream._

"Yo, earth to Edward _mother-fucking_ Cullen?!"

I blinked a few times and directed my attention to Emmett, who was standing in a black sweater and khaki pants, "it was just a dream."

"I don't need to know about your fucking wet dreams," he replied, "and you need a shower desperately. Between the sex dreams and the alcohol from last night... dude... seriously... Too much..." He took a step forward, jerking the covers off of me, "But I _do _need to know if you're going to show up for your rehearsal at all, or do I need to fill in? Because I don't mind practice-kissing your soon-to-be-wife for you, if I need to. After all, what are _Best Man'_s for, you know?"

"What time is it?"

"It's after three. We're over twenty minutes late."

"SHIT!" I shouted, scrambling and clawing my way out of the bed, "Shit! Shit! I can't be fucking late! Shit, shit, shit! Where are my clothes?!"

"What clothes?!"

"The _CLOTHES_! The ones Bella that laid out for me last night, for the rehearsal party! You know, the ones she put on the _chair_, before she went back to her room?!"

"Uh... how the fuck am I supposed to know, drama queen? I didn't sleep in your room with ya bitch, I just dropped you off from _Bachelor Party De Le Cullen_, and now I came in to get your ass up."

"_Fuck_," I spat, running in circles around the hotel room, "I _knew _I shouldn't have fucking gone out with you last night! I knew it, I knew it, I fucki-"

"Dude, _relax_, stop freaking out because you're getting _me _all frantic, and I don't deal well under pressure!"

"Well help me find my shit!"

"Uh... you might just want to throw something on and get your ass downstairs. I sent Paul and Dean to stall, but you know how far that goes... once they see women, we're pretty much done for."

"God dammit, Emmett," I cursed, throwing on my jeans from last night. "I'm so fucked."

He tossed me my gray v-neck shirt from the top of my suitcase, and a jacket, "dude, you're the Groom, you know? It's not like they are going to start without you. They _have _to wait for you."

"The fuck if they do! I'm going to hear it from my parents."

"Uh... you're an adult."

"Like that's fucking stopped them before. They'll give me that whole, '_Edward you're not responsible enough to handle adult situations' _lecture they've been giving me since I was thirteen and they found me with a box of unopened condoms."

He tossed me my black shoe, and I crawled on the ground, looking for its match beneath the bed. At last, I found it, and jerked it to me.

Few seconds later, I gulped down a cup full of mouthwash and splashed some water on my face, and was out the door.

Emmett handed me the key to the room and a few mints, and chuckled as I hopped down the hall, trying to walk and slip on the shoes at the same time.

"It's not fucking funny," I said, as we entered the stairwell. "I have the hangover from hell."

"It's probably because you're still drunk," he mused, following me down the steps.

"Yeah remind me to knock you out for that later, since you couldn't seem to remember the '_only four drinks tonight Emmett_' rule I had established before we left for the bar."

"Well, the way I see it, we're here in California, my best buddy is getting married, his family and friends have all flown down to see the whole shin-dig, so we're gonna fucking party whether you like it or not. That's the rules of the Best Man, after all. And from what I'm told, the Best Man rules trumps the Groom rules on the night of the bachelor party. So suck it up and be a fucking man, and just go gravel with your girl. I'm sure she'll forgive you, she worships the fucking ground beneath your feet."

Flashes of my dream entered my mind, of the isle turning into blood, then back to isle again, but I quickly shook the aside and kept pushing. "If she still marries me," I murmured, despite myself. I couldn't help it. That fucking dream fucked me up.

"Yeah, like she won't be rushing down the isle quicker than you get there," he smirked. "Dude, calm down, you're getting cold feet or shit."

"No, I'm not, I just... I really want to just get this shit done and be _married _all ready."

"You're almost there," he said. "Hey dude? Why didn't we take the fucking elevator?"

"I need to run off the alcohol," I panted, "just go with it."

"Fuck your life," he cursed, and I punched him in his chest.

"Don't put a hexx on me, dick."

"Since when are you superstitious?"

"Since... whatever, shut up."

We ran through the lobby, and skidded to a stop at the French doors in front of lunch rehearsal dinner. We chose the _'Barn Room' _for the event, because it was easier to cater everyone with it's three-story heights. Through the windows, I could see over fifteen circular tables meant to meet our guests, each table meant to sit around eleven or so. Red napkins on top of the linen table cloths, silverware at each side, wine glasses, cherry blossoms set inside crystal vases, white chairs... Fireplace lit up... Hanging chandeliers with actual candles lit inside of them...

Bella and I chose to get married outside of the _Ritz-Carlton_ hotel, in Half Moon Bay, California. My grandparents lived here, and after some tough negotiating with everyone, my Grandfather Victor begged and pleaded until he could pay for the entire reception, including our friends and families flight tickets.

That's why we selected this place. It was where my grandparents got married, and my family was all about tradition... despite the fact that Victor doesn't get along with my parents... at all... He loves me and wants to show it in the only way he knows how... by throwing money at us and helping us how he does best.

Ignoring the empty but beautiful, glowing room and all of it's decorations, we ran along the hardwood floors, all the way to the other side of the building. A few moments later, we were skidding to a stop at the circle in front of where the isle is going to be. Bella and I chose an outside location for the event, with the hotel in the distance on our left, and the ocean to our right, crashing against the sides of the cliff.

Everyone turned and gawked at us, all looking way more dressed up than I was in jeans. Immediately, I felt ashamed.

A few people cleared a path, and there she was... taking every ounce of breath from me. Bella stood at the end of the isle, where I will stand tomorrow. Dressed in a sensational, cashmere chiffon tea-length dress, that was draped on her left shoulder with crystal applique detail, ending a few inches above her knees. Her hair was swept up in a half-up, half-down style, strands falling all over her face into tender waves.

I clutched my hand over my chest, willing myself to steady my breathing. But I couldn't.

She looked like _Heaven_... Just the thought of that, I couldn't even imagine how she was going to look tomorrow. Her eyes lit up as soon as our sides parted and I came into view. She folded her hands in front of her and dipped beneath moving arms, heading toward me.

Suddenly, everything that I was stressed about and worried about, all of the things in that stupid-ass dream of mine that made no sense moments ago... none of that stuff mattered. Seeing her face come into focus... it was as if she took all of the negative away.

Her smile grew with each step she took, until she was finally in front of me, "hey."

"Hey," I grinned, flustering to get my brain to work enough to stick my hands in my pockets, "I'm so sorry I'm late."

"It's okay," she shrugged nonchalantly, her voice so calm that it soothed me, "you're here now."

"I am."

She licked her lips, and her eyes sparkled as they met mine again, "I've missed you. It was weird, sleeping in a different room than you last night... I don't know how I am going to get through it tonight."

I took a step closer, placing my hands on her arms, "I know what you mean."

She moved too, closing the gap, and we both shut our eyes. It didn't matter that our mom's were shouting for us to get up there, or the wedding planner was in our ears, or all of the people talking about flower arrangements, path orders, music, vows, and anything else... It didn't matter because she was here, and I was here, and this was happening, and it was going to be real tomorrow. She was going to be my wife... At last.

"You smell like beer," she giggled, hugging me to her.

I winced, biting my lip and placing my chin on top of her head, "I know, I'm sorry."

"And you're not wearing the cl-"

"I'm really sorry Bella," I exhaled. _You're such a fucking idiot._

"I don't care," she replied, rubbing my back, "I don't care, as long as you show tomorrow."

"I'll be there," I promised. I lifted her face, and melted into her caramel eyes, "I can't wait."

She smiled, rubbing up along my forearms, "I can't either..."

I leaned forward to kiss her, and as soon as our lips touched, someone cleared their throat, and our reunion moment was taken away from us. I shut my eyes as Bella pulled away, and tensed as her mom pulled her away from me.

I hated when people pulled her away from me, and there had been a lot of it this week, with wedding planning.

I wanted to knock everyone out and pick her up, throw her over my shoulder caveman style, demand to be married in two seconds, and get on with our paradise.

_Was that really too much to ask?_

On top of that... Bella asked me a week ago, after she woke me up when Colleen and Alyssa took off, that we refrain from sex until our honeymoon night. That meant nothing sexual... at _all_. She said if we could handle it for a week, then the pay-off would be amazing... but at the exact second she asked me, I knew this week would be hell.

And she tormented my ass... Short skirts, little night gowns, fucking playing with her hair and batting her lashes and lingering her tongue on her fork and that damn list went on and on and on some more... Every single word from her lips, I turned it into a sexual nature in my mind... when she'd say, "I'm _coming_, I'll be there in a minute", or "Baby, can you _pull that off _the top shelf for me? I'm too short", or "Hey, Edward, would you mind _grabbing those muffins _for me? I don't want them to burn"... yeah... sex words.

I was on my very last string of restraint with her, but of course I'd never tell her that. I wanted to appear strong. Wanted to show respect.

But inside... I was screaming.

So between the no-sex/no-masturbation rule, the wedding planner, our parents in our ears, our friends, getting all of the flight details and the few things I have up my sleeves planned, as well as her doctor's appointments and finances and all that other shit...

Yeah.

I really needed a release.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward seemed _really _exhausted. And had been most of the week.

But, since he doesn't like to show it, he stood tall, did as we were instructed with a smile on his face, and put up with a lot of people telling us what to do, where to stand, what to say, when to say it, where to walk, and how to breathe, among many other things.

I was more used to it than he was. He just spoke when spoken to, and gave _me _a lot of warm smiles. Reassuring smiles.

All I wanted to do was marry him, but I knew that he wasn't going to cave in on the courthouse idea I sparked a while back, no matter how hard I tried, so I figured I'd put forth the effort.

But wedding planning... was tretourous.

Not to mention the fact that we haven't been able to be alone these past couple days. Alice, Esme, and my mom insisted on us getting separate bedrooms once we got here, and there's been so many people in and out of those rooms, on top of everything else... I honestly think that when I see him naked again, I will faint.

Seven days is a long time when Edward Cullen is dangling in front of you like a piece of cotton candy, and all you want to do is lick him down and eat him up, but you can't.

Seven days is a bitch.

_Why did I think of this? Oh yeah... just focus on the pay-off, Bella._

It was after seven pm, by the time we got done with ALL of the rehearsals.

The last one was the _only _one that ran smoothly, as people wouldn't shut up and stop giving their opinions all the times before. The thing about Edward and I is, we're both stubborn when it comes to just the two of us, but when it comes to everything else, we just roll with it and let everyone else stress. I just loved the times when we got to stand together. Because while everyone else was talking, he'd hold me in his arms and kiss my forehead, rub my back, squeeze my hands... just these little, silent gestures that let me know that he wasn't losing his focus of what was important.

Even when we got back to our rehearsal dinner, we weren't able to really talk, even after we got done eating the catered dinner of steaks and seafood. There were people tugging us left and right, asking us questions, plus we were trying to catch up with all of the family members that flew in to see us... it was difficult.

I never really understood why people were so stressed about weddings, until now. _Now_, I get it.

I sighed and tried to melt into the romantic melodies of one of the wedding mix's Alice burned for us, that was playing surround sound around us, while our wedding planner Enessa explained to me different candle scents and how different candle colors meant different things. Like I cared. If it smelled decent, that's all that mattered. But I put up a good smile, nodding and agreeing when she paused to let me.

Through the enormous sea of our friends and family talking and drinking wine, I noticed Edward, surrounded by all of the guys. Jasper, Jake, Emmett, Paul, Dean, his co-workers Scotty, Jonsen, and Andrew, and a few other of his college friends... He seemed to feel better, having his friends around. His hands in his pockets, his tongue bouncing when he laughed, his sunglasses on top of his messy, beautiful hair... I missed him.

I bit my lip and watched him, as Enessa continued to lecture and Esme and my mom joined in. All I wanted to do was run over there and kiss him. I hadn't kissed him since yesterday morning.

"Bella?"

I turned to face my mom, and cleared my throat, "yeah?"

"Did you hear me?"

"Mmhmm."

"Is that okay then?"

"Yeah, sure, mom, that's fine," I nodded, having no idea what I was agreeing to. Edward threw his head back and put his hand on his stomach, laughing at whatever Emmett was saying. All the guys cracked up, Emmett patting Edward on the shoulder, and Edward nodding like crazy. I smiled, watching him smile. I didn't like him being stressed.

"Bella?"

"Sure, Esme, that's good," I agreed to something else.

"Okay, thanks sweetie."

Suddenly, Jasper and Jake turned, and all of the guys looked at me. Edward's laugh turned into a grin, and then into a warm, gentle smile, as his eyes melted into mine. I knew I should look away, since all of them were staring at me, but I couldn't. His hold on me was too strong.

I smiled, lifting my hand and waving to him. _Such a dork._ He took a deep breath, keeping his hands in his pocket, and tilted his head, his smile growing even more dazzling. My heart began it's erratic flutter, and I struggled for breath, watching Emmett whisper something in Edward's ear. Edward grinned and pursed his lips, those emerald eyes trapping me in their never-ending depths.

I literally had to start bouncing on my toes, to keep myself from charging after him. My limbs were twitching, my heart wouldn't stop thudding, my throat tightened, and my tongue started to crave the taste of him. I struggled to breathe through my nose, the anxious feelings intensifying.

The guys kept talking, but Edward didn't move his eyes from me. All of the women around me were also discussing things, but I couldn't even respond to them anymore. All I heard was _Otis Redding'_s raspy voice in the speakers, the sparkles and cracks of the fireplace to my right, and the heavy breathing of my body in my ears. All I saw was him.

Edward turned to Emmett, breaking our gaze momentarily, and my heart stilled. I didn't want him to stop looking at me. He said something to Emmett, and Em started laughing, causing everyone else to crack up. Then Jasper and Jake parted a little, and Edward stepped through, heading in my direction. My eyes widened and my body started to tremble with anticipation that he might be coming over to me. I willed myself to hold still, to just wait and see where he went. He kept his hands in his pockets as he weaved through the sea of people, nodding in acknowledgment when people said hi, but never removing his eyes off of me.

I licked my lips and then bit down hard. _Just stay still, just stay still, he might not be coming to see you. Just stay still, stay still... stay still... _ My foot started to lift off the floor, trying to step closer to him, but I maintained my pose, begging internally for him to come here. _Just come see me. Just hold me in your arms. That's all I want._

"Ooh, Bella, did you see those beautiful flowers they chose to put as the centerpieces? The vases are exquisite!"

"Yes, mom, I saw them," I whispered, watching him come closer.

"And did you see the incredible pastry's and..." her voice trailed off somewhere in the distance, as Edward stopped in front of me.

He didn't smell like beer as much anymore, but of warmth and mints. He looked handsome in his normal clothes, and I was thankful he didn't put on the bronzed button down and black slacks his mother purchased for him to wear today... These clothes were more him.

I'm sure I was smiling like an idiot on crack, looking up at him. Drooling from the mouth and everything. But I didn't care.

He ignored every person in my circle who spoke to him, and held out his hand for me, while _Ray Lamontange, 'In My Arms'_ sang above us. Edward didn't say a word.

I took his hand, and allowed him to pull me away from everyone who had a hold of me. He weaved us around the white tables and guests, stopping in front of the fireplace.

My breath staggard as he pulled me against him, wrapping his arms around my waist and locking his fingers against the small of my back. I blew out a gust of wind I didn't know I was holding, winding my arms around his and gripping on the bends of his elbows. I pressed my forehead to his chest, allowing him to lead me in a soft sway.

He squeezed me tighter, placing his chin on top of my head. I could hear the _coo's_ and _awe's_ of our family, who all seemed to stop talking at the same moment. I could feel their eyes burning on us, studying our every move. But I didn't care. I just kept my eyes closed, and focused on his smell and warmth.

Our bodies were in sync while we turned slowly. The candles above us flickered, the fireplace warmth cascaded down the back of my dress... I wasn't happier than at that moment.

Tucking my arms under his, I rubbed his back and along his spine, before turning my hands around and gripping the backs of his shoulders. I was greedy, inhaling as much of his scent as possible. I wanted to save it, remember it tonight when I slept without him. Hopefully it'd get me through.

His thumbs did a tender dance on the small of my back, and his hands never loosened against me. My emotions were rocketing. I didn't realize until that exact moment, just how much I missed being away from him. I was glad that we were only getting married once. I didn't know if I could ever be separated from him again. Even when we were across the room from one another, I missed him and longed for his touch... and as soon as I was in his arms, swaying to gentle music, I was content.

I wanted to say something, tell him how much he meant to me, remind him how much I loved him... but I didn't want to ruin this moment with words. Our bodies said enough for us. I hugged him to me, pushing my face into his shirt. _Don't leave me with these people again, don't let this song end..._

He bent a little lower and I stood on my tiptoes. Throwing my arms around his neck, I pulled him down to me. I just wanted to hug him. Allow him to dance with me, lead the way, and hold onto him for dear life. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, ignoring the cameras and flashes of our friends and family, the whispers and awe's.

I wished momentarily that this was our first dance as a married couple, and shuddered at the thought of what it was going to feel like tomorrow... But then I zoned back into this moment, and was just as happy.

The song changed, but Edward didn't release me back into the narrow tunnels of all the wedding details. Instead, he lifted my face in his hands, while _The Fray's, 'Never Say Never'_ played. I smiled against his lingering lips, enjoying the feel of him brushing them on my bottom lip. I could taste him all ready, the irreplaceable textures he holds. And when he actually applied pressure and completed our kiss, I was finally able to relax. I needed it more than my last breath.

Our kiss was slow, savoring. We were enjoying each other, blocking out our surroundings. Focused only on the person in our arms. The time trailed on, as did the lyrics, all the way into the second verse. I stroked my fingers through his hair, humming against his mouth. His palms, when they rubbed against the back of my dress, created a nice heated friction on my skin. Goose bumps trailed and I shivered into him, pushing my weight all the way against his. It barely registered that people were still watching us, I was too caught up in him. "Edward," I whispered when we broke for air. He smiled, lifting me off the ground a few inches, his arms giving me a strong embrace. We kissed again, listening to the music of the bridge. This time, we didn't hold back. I allowed his tongue entrance the minute he sought for it, and tugged on the tips of his hair. My body reacted into a clammy mixture of wires, sparking with each brush of his lips against mine.

I knew if I didn't regain control of myself, I'd be wrapping my legs around his waist and begging him to take me on the middle of these hardwood floors... and that'd be really embarrassing with your elderly grandmother sitting in her wheelchair grinning at you.

Luckily, Emmett cleared his throat and tapped on our shoulders, forcing him to put me back on ground.

"Go away, fucker," Edward mumbled against my lips, directing his venom to his friend.

"Uhhh, people are fucking _gawking_," Emmett whispered, before turning and smiling at our crowd.

We broke free and slowly turned our faces toward our audience. My face was tomato-red at the realization of just how many people were actually watching us instead of minding their own business, while Edward's just looked annoyed.

"And that's how they made the baby," Emmett joked, causing a few people to laugh.

Edward leaned down, pressing his lips to my ear and forcing another tremble to come through, "it is a good thing you can't get pregnant when you're pregnant."

I giggled, and kissed his cheek.

Eventually, we were torn apart again, and I had to go back to all of the details and women. It really wasn't that bad, this time around. We mostly just laughed and joked about life. Edward spent his time talking with my grandma, or his grandfather, Victor, which he explained to me was 69 years old, and looked more like he was in his fifties. I instantly noticed where he got his height, disheveled hair, strong jaw line, and dazzling green eyes from. His grandfather had a personality that was identical to Edward's, only wiser. He was suave, extremely charming, and intricate. He laughed, and had flocks of our friends and family members surrounding him at any given moment... In all, he was exactly what Edward was most likely going to turn into in about forty-five years.

Victor wasn't close to Carlisle and Esme, and I noticed the tension between them. They smiled when necessary and talked briefly, but never really got close to one another. However, Victor adored Edward, as did he with his grandfather. Victor's wife Evelyn Jane passed away when Edward was three, and he never got to know her well. She was a well-know surgeon, and with her husband, had open up quite a few hospitals in the States. In fact, in her last will and testament, she wanted _The Cullen Medical Center For Children_ to go to Edward when he turned twenty-five.

I watched as Victor threw his arm around Edward's shoulders and handed him a cigar, which he accepted. Victor's laugh was louder than Edward's, more like something of Emmett. Billowy. But man, could he get the whole room's attention. I listened from a distance while he bragged about his grandson, about how proud he was that he found the person he loved more than anything else, and about being a father. I listened as he made Edward promise that if we needed anything, we called him first.

While we were waiting on Emmett and Edward to arrive earlier for the rehearsal, I did get some time to talk with him one on one and thank him for paying for the ceremony, hotel, and flights. All he did was cradle my face in his hands and say, "Why, Isabella, why wouldn't I? I wanted my grandson to have the world, and he saw that world in your eyes. Why should he have any less, and who am I to stand in the way of it?"

He made me feel special, and I began to look up to him. I saw why Edward would talk about him for hours. He was brilliant. After his wife passed, he dedicated his life to the business industry. I know he owns factories which create medical supplies in different countries, on top of the hospitals. I'm not sure exactly how much money he makes, but I had a feeling that if he could own his own Jet and multiple homes, not to mention his cars... He was set.

"Anty Bellsa?"

I felt a tugging on the hem of my dress. I turned to find Alyssa, in a little yellow skirt outfit, looking up at me with wide eyes, "yes, honey?"

"Tan I asted Uncle Eddie .. him... to dance with me?" she pointed to him from across the floor.

"Of course," I said, rubbing her back, "go get him!"

She took off running, long dark curls bouncing against her back.

I loved how Alyssa warmed up to Edward. I never saw her close to a guy before like him, not even Makin or Jasper. All week, since they met, she'd been over at our house, while Colleen and the girls helped me wedding plan. They had their own little routines... Baskin Robbins ice cream, movie night on Thursday, pancakes for dinner, pillow fights... The list went on and on.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"No I did not do that!" I laughed, holding my stomach because it hurt so much from laughing, "you're lying."

"You fucking did," Emmett replied, pointing at me, "you should have seen yourself. Standing on the damn stage, drunk out of your mind, just because the damn cocktail waitress started hitting on you! You got everyone's attention, fucking had the mike in your hand and said, '_Ahem. My name is Edward Cullen. I am the GROOM, hence the GROOM HAT I'm wearing_' -- drunkenly, I might add," he winked, "and then you said,_ 'In case you bitches don't know what the fuck GROOM stands for, it means don't put your nasty, mostly-uncovered ass on my leg and ask me to fuck you because I'M TAKEN you DUMB ASS SKANK WHORES!_'. I about pissed my pants watching you! We couldn't get your drunk ass off the stage, so we just all climbed up there and started dancing and acting like idiots."

I shook my head, trying not to get too embarrassed, "I don't talk to women like that."

"Yeah when you're _sober _you don't," Paul corrected me, causing us to laugh again.

"Ahem," Victor, my grandfather, cleared his throat, shoving his hands into his black slacks. We all calmed down and looked at him, who nodded his head behind me. We twisted, and I prayed it wasn't Bella behind me, that way she didn't hear about how drunk I got last night.

It was worse. It was Alyssa, my adorable copy-cat.

I smiled and bent down to her, fixing her shirt so it wasn't crooked on her stomach, "hey sweetheart, what are you doing?"

"Tan yous dance wif me?"

"Can I dance with you?"

She nodded, holding her hands behind her back, rising and falling on the tips of her toes.

"Sure, I can dance with you."

"Oh no, he's got a new fan," Dean teased, and I flipped him off behind my back, where Alyssa couldn't see, before taking her hand. _Jason Mraz's, "I'm Yours_" was playing in the background, it's catchy beat spreading like wild flowers.

She pulled me to the spot she wanted and I lifted her arm, spinning her in a circle. She giggled, as her skirt spread out, creating a ring around her body. I spun her around the opposite way, enforcing more giggles. After that, she grabbed my other hand, and we bounced from foot to foot, me following her steps. Cameras flashed on us and I twirled her again, catching a glimpse briefly of Colleen and Bella in awe of us in the corner of the room.

We trotted around in a circle, and then I picked her up and spun her around, her legs flying in the air. She laughed until I slowed down, and then she threw her arms and legs around me. I cleared my throat and held my left hand out, and she placed her tiny right hand in it. Keeping one hand on her back, I began a jazz box-step that I was taught as a little boy.

She bobbed and swayed her head from left to right, smiling up at me with big, gigantic eyes. She was so happy.

I tickled her, and she laughed, latching onto me.

"Are you ready to our the flower girl tomorrow?" I asked her while we moved.

She nodded, clutching the shoulder of my shirt, "yes, I love flowers."

"What's your favorite flower?"

"The red wones," she giggled.

"What kind of red ones?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "ALL of dem!"

"I like the red ones too."

"Yay! Dat means dat we are _twins_."

I held onto her waist and dipped her back, allowing her head and hair to fall toward the ground. _Kids loved that shit._ She giggled, waving to her mama and Bella wildly. I winked at Bella, before lifting Alyssa back in my arms.

"Tan I asted you a qwuesten?"

"Of course," I brushed the hair off her shoulder, spinning us in another circle.

"Um... does being wedded mean you won't be my fwiend no more?"

"Being wedded? Oh, do you mean being _married_?"

She nodded, blushing a tent of red along her cheeks.

"Noooo, I'll always be your friend, Alyssa."

"Yous pwomise?"

"Absolutely. Who else would watch _Ice Age _with me?"

"Good."

She rested her head on my shoulder, and the song slowed to _'You're My Sunday' _by _Jessica Simpson_. I massaged her back, and bent my cheek toward her head. Her tiny fingers found my shoulder and she clutched more of my shirt.

We continued to sway slowly from side to side. It was really easy to get lost in her innocence and drift away from all of the chaos here on Earth. That was one of the things I loved about children. They're presence was like an ocean, flowing over you and swallowing you up. They kept you young.

"Hey," she mumbled, tapping her finger on my five o'clock shadow, "tu you wanna knows a secwet?"

"Yes," I smiled, moving more of her hair off of her shoulder.

"You's my favwite fwiend."

I couldn't help it. I beamed. A three year old little girl got me to turn into mush. I chuckled, squeezing her in a tight hug, "you are my favorite friend too, Miss Alyssa Ivory."

She nestled into my chest, batting her lashes. I couldn't figure it out, why she seemed so safe and calm with me. Jasper had told me stories last night of her being wild at times, and throwing tantrums. I had seen her almost every single day this week, and not once had she thrown a fit. He told me that sometimes Makin had a hard time getting her to sleep. It took me about two seconds to get her to sleep. Now, I'm not thinking I am a prodigy for children or anything, but something never added up, from what people said and how she acted.

I absolutely adored her.

"Hey, you guys."

I turned Alyssa and I a little, and my mom stood, camera in hands. I readjusted Alyssa and she looked around, blinking a few times. Then she gave my mom a toothy grin and held onto me, and we snapped the picture.

My mom beamed, rubbing both of our backs simultaneously, "I can't wait until your little buddle of joy arrives, Edward."

I smirked, still swaying from side to side with Alyssa, "I know. I still hope it's a boy."

"Mommy's turn," Colleen chimed, reaching her hands out to Alyssa. Alyssa kissed my cheek before jumping into her mom's arms.

I turned to my mom, and we headed toward Bella.

"Have you two thought of any names?"

"Actually," I said, smiling down at my beautiful Fiancee', "we have."

Bella hummed, wrapping her arms around my waist and lingering to my side.

"Well?"

I grinned, rubbing Bella's back, "if it's a girl, we want to name her Elizabeth Grace Cullen."

"Awe," my mom gushed, "that's so beautiful! Oh my goodness, that's perfect!"

I cleared my throat.

"Oh, sorry, Edward, okay, tell me... If it's a _boy_..."

I beamed, rounding my shoulders, "if it's a _boy_, we're going to name him Masen."

"Masen _Anthony _Cullen," Bella finished, giggling up at me, "he _really _wants a boy."

I nodded proudly, twirling ends of Bella's hair around my finger, "I do... I can't help it."

"I think it'd be amazing to keep _Anthony _in the family," Esme agreed. "It's perfect. I love Masen."

"Plus he's grown quite attached to Alyssa, as you can tell, and he calls her _'my girl'_, which she loves... I think that's another reason why he wants a boy, so he can have both the attachments."

"Hey do you want to know what Alyssa just told me?"

"What?" she asked, while my mom grinned at us.

"She told me that I was her favorite friend."

They both gushed, just as I did.

"She's got you eating out of the palm of her hand!" Bella said, shaking her head and pushing it into my arm.

"Oh be jealous," I teased.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Around ten-thirty, our dinner party wound down, and we were standing in the hallway, where our rooms were, on opposite sides of the building, that is. I tugged on the sides of her dresses, wishing she was wearing something I could dip my fingers inside without getting slapped. I just wanted to feel her hips on my fingertips. The soft skin... the goose bumps.

She licked her lips when we pulled away for breath, then crashed against my mouth again. Each time she did, my body reacted feverishly. If her mother wasn't standing in the hallway waiting on her, I would have lifted her up and ripped those fucking panties off of her. In fact... the thought was very intriguing, still.

"Hey Edward," she said against my lips, running her fingers through my hair.

"Mmm?"

"I know you and Alyssa are favorite friends... I'm still your favorite woman, right?"

"Are you kidding?" I chuckled, enjoying her bit of jealousy, "Bella."

I clutched her face in my fingers, and looked down into her beautiful eyes, "you're my favorite everything. How many times do I need to say this?"

"Just checkin' baby," she whispered. Then, seductively, giving me a bat of her lashes, she said, "I really can't wait to have sex with you again," under her breath.

I couldn't fight the growl in my throat and was thankful when my mom called Renee away. As soon as we were alone in the hall, I lifted Bella up with the strength of my arms. She gasped, swinging her head around to make sure that she wasn't being watched. When she realized she was safe, she threw her legs around me, and I slipped us into the stair well.

"Mmm," she moaned, when I pushed her against the wall, "wait! We can't do this."

I noticed her nipples hardening against her strapless bra, and brushed my thumb against the fabric of her dress, "ohhhh yes we can."

"_No_, we're _waiting_," she hissed, arching her back and trying to push me away with her hips.

I shoved back at her, crashing our bodies into the wall, unable to get a grip on my hostile tone, "woman, you're _fucking _killing me."

Then I bit down hard on her bare right shoulder.

She tugged at my hair, fighting against me, but with me at the same time, "quit it."

"No," I panted, pushing myself against her, trying to ease the throbbing in my pants, "can you _feel _what the fuck you're doing to me?"

"Y-yes, but you need to stop. We can't-"

I growled, fighting not to curse at her. I was beyond frustrated, there was no denying it. I licked along her neck, enjoying the taste on my tongue more than I should. "Fuck," I gasped, lapping at her with more vigor, "I can't wait to taste more of you. Don't you want me too, baby? Just say it, and I'll do it."

"Uhh, Edward, stoppppp," she bent her head to the side, trying to block my advance. When that didn't work, she started to grab handfuls of my hair, yanking it back hard, "dammit, I can't... W-we can't."

All that did was egg me on more. I grabbed her wrists and held them against the wall on either side of her head, then pushed my erection back into her, in tiny thrusts against her panties, which I could catch tiny glimpses of if I stared down there long enough. White. Satin. Bikini-style.

_Fuck. _I couldn't help myself. I had become a wild animal. Panting in her ear while she continued her half-assed fight against me, I slid my hand between our heated bodies.

Bella gasped as soon as I touched her through the fabric. And it was damp, reacting more with every flick of my finger.

"Mmmm," I smiled against her lips, while she attempted to shove me away again, "so wet for me, aren't you?"

"Stop!" she blushed, pushing me back again. She managed to unlock her trembling legs from me, but my waist had her pinned against the wall so hard, she wasn't going to reach the floor.

I still had my hand between us, and palmed her heat greedily, "_damn _Bella."

"Edward," she panted, once again, shoving me away, but pushing herself into my hand at the same time, "this has to stop."

"Just... let me..." I licked my lips and took a chance, sliding my hand inside her panties. And I couldn't help but groan, feeling her bare, slick, swollen flesh on my index and middle fingers. "Fuckkkk," I slid my hand down, circling around the pool forming there.

She was clawing at my shirt, pushing with her hands, but pulling me back at the same time. Moaning, trembling. She was having the exact same inner-battle that I was. "S-stopppp," she practically sang, cooing in my ear.

I turned her face with my free hand, and shoved my tongue in her mouth as soon as she gasped for air. My right hand continued, so light to drive her wild, but enough for me to scratch the itch of my horniness. I didn't dare enter her or tease her too much, knowing that if I did, we'd never leave this fucking stair well.

Her legs found their way back around my waist, and she struggled to regain any ounce of control.

I figured a little bit of dirty talk might be a way to let me get what I wanted.

"Do you know what I want I want more than anything at this moment?" I asked against her sexy lips.

She shook her head, the tug and pull fight continuing against me.

"I want you to sit above my face," I said, smirking as she whimpered, "and let me lick... every... single... inch... of your swollen... pink... wet... flesh... _slowly_."

"Edwar-"

"Like this," I said, cutting her off. Then I stuck my tongue out seductively, and starting at the corner of her mouth, licked along her top lip, across the arch, all the way to the opposite corner, then down along her bottom lip. The next time I did it, I slipped my tongue in her mouth a little bit more, trailing the exact same path.

With the third sweep, she started to suck on my tongue.

That was the very last inch of my restraint. The last brick came tumbling down.

My hands found her dress and I started to push it up, grinding myself against her.

"Mmmph," she breathed through her nose as I pushed into her again.

"Tell me that you want me," I said against her lips. "Tell me, and I'll take you. Right here, right now."

She shook her head but pulled me tighter against her.

"Don't fight it anymore. Just say the words. Tomorrow will still be perfect, I promise," I panted, practically begged, while she held my bottom lip between her teeth.

I continued to speak though, "I'll make it good for you. But tonight... can be-"

"Let's take the stairs!"

I closed my eyes and stiffened against Bella, as Alice came tumbling through the stair well. She froze, hand on door, gawking at us. I turned my face to look at her, then got really hot, when I noticed my mom and Bella's mom standing behind Alice. And it wasn't because I had her pinned up against the wall, or she was biting my lip, or her legs were around my waist, or her dress was hiked up past her hips. It was because my right hand was invisible to them, trapped between our bodies, in a very specific part I'm sure her mother didn't want to see me caressing.

Snapping myself out of misery, I took a step back and removed my pelvis from Bella, and she stumbled, trying to quickly fix her dress.

Holding my breath, I stuck my hands in my pockets, and Bella and I took another side-step away from each other.

Esme knew me and Renee knew Bella since we were fifteen years old. But they never caught us before, in all these years. And I don't know why it was embarrassing, I mean, hell, we're getting married and having a baby. We're adults, for Christ's sake. But still... it was.

"Well," Esme said, clapping her hands together, "guess we don't have to take the stairs now. We found them."

"Yeah," Renee chuckled under her breath, "we sure did."

Alice mouthed to me, 'I'm sorry," while Bella just blushed and took a step back toward me. Her hand found my back and she smiled reassuringly up at me.

"Bella, it's close to midnight," Renee said, "we were coming to see if you were ready to hit the sack. Big day tomorrow and all."

"Yeah," Bella replied, clearing her throat, "I'm... ready."

She stood on her tiptoes, kissing my cheek, "meet you at the alter?"

"I'll be there," I smirked, turning my face and kissing her lips, "on time, too."

She winked at me, before entering the arms of her mom. I watched as they walked side by side down the hall, and ignored my mother when she told me I needed to get rest too. After she left, Alice entered the stair well beside me, and shut the door, "sorry buddy."

I shook my head, exhaling and trying to will away my erection, "no problem."

"If you want, I can go and sleep in Bella's room, and give you some privacy... I'll let you have my laptop, I'm sure there's internet in the hotel... Pornotube dot com has some good stuff."

I covered my face with my hands, shaking my head, "I can't jerk off. Bella rules."

She giggled, rubbing my back, "I'm sorry. I feel really bad now."

I licked Bella's taste off my fingers and shrugged my shoulders, "what can you do, ya know?"

"Did you just..." Alice's mouth dropped, staring at me.

I smirked and walked past her, heading toward my room, "yup. Tasted good."

"_Edward_," she exhaled, walking behind me, "what are we going to do with you?"

"Come on Allycat," I opened the door, motioning for her to get inside, "rules are you're her bridesmaid tomorrow, but tonight, you're my best friend."

She sauntered in, flopping down on the other bed beside mine, "fine, but if I hear you caving in and slapping it tonight, I'm going to kill you."

"I can't make any guarantees if this cold shower I'm about to take doesn't calm my ass down."

"Fight the power," she giggled. "Oh, and hey, I know something that will take your mind off of the 'P' word for a while."

"What's that?"

"I got you a gift!"

I laughed as she crawled to the other side of the bed, and a long box out, "what the hell?"

She giggled, walking over to me and sitting it on my lap, "open it."

"Alice..."

"Just open it! I wanna see your face!"

I licked my lips, tearing the corner of the heavy, long package, "so sweet, you shouldn't have."

"Well, what are best friends for, you know?"

I snickered, tearing it open. Inside, was a guitar box. Immediately, I lost my breath.

"COME ON, OPEN IT THE REST OF THE WAY!"

I pulled the case out of the box, and flicked it open. Then I gasped. Inside was a dark blue and black, Yamaha APX 500 acoustic guitar, all ready strung up for me. Toward the center, the blue turned lighter, fading toward the opening, and had white trim around the far edges.

It was ten times better than the acoustic one I had. And cost way more too.

"Alice..."

"I know you broke yours that one night, and know how much you loved playing so... do you like it?"

"I love it," I shook my head, strumming my fingers down the chords, "this is the best present I could ever have."

She clapped her hands, smiling and bouncing around, "Yay!!"

I sat the guitar to the side and stood up, pulling her into a big hug, "I couldn't have asked for a better best friend than you, do you know that?"

"I do know that," she teased, "but it's nice to hear you remind me."

I kissed her cheek, rubbing her back, "I love you very much. Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, scratching my head before stepping away, "I love you too."

Through the past five weeks, I've noticed an increased change in my best friend. Since the slip-up, she seems to be slowly getting back into the old swing of things... much happier. I knew she wouldn't be 'normal' again for quite some time, but was thankful to Jasper. I know he had a lot to do with her postive transformation.

I wanted to talk to her about it, and to let her know that I was always going to be there for her, but didn't want to get myself all emotional and shit, so I decided against it. Instead, I just messed up her hair like I used to and dodged when she swung at me.

She laughed as I jogged into the bathroom, dreading my cold shower.

**

* * *

**

**THE NEXT DAY**

**

* * *

**

**BellaPOV**

I rolled over, yawning, and looked at the clock.

_Crap_. I could have slept ten more minutes.

I hated when I woke up before the alarm went off.

I stretched my arms out and sat up in the bed, blinking around.

Then I realized what day it was, and why Edward wasn't beside me.

"I'm getting married!" I shouted, in half-shock, half-excitement.

My mother levitated off of the bed, startled by my scream. She slid off the side of the bed before she managed to gather herself together.

I covered my mouth, giggling, watching her face change from paranoia to hurting, as she landed on my heels.

"Bella," she exhaled, hand over heart, "don't ever do that to me again. Do you want to give your mother heart failure?"

"I'm sorry," I crawled to her and helped her up, "I just realized what day it was."

"Well," she stood up, brushing off her bunny pajama pants, "you definitely made sure everyone on the floor realized what day it is as well."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's fine dear," she said, sitting beside the bed and yawning, "I was young once too. I know what this day felt like."

I nodded, scratching the haystack on top of my head, "I all ready feel like I'm losing time."

"Don't start panicking this early," she said. "Go get in the shower, make sure _not _to wash your hair, that way it'll hold curl easier. I'll order us some coffee and breakfast, and we'll call in the team to get you going."

My stomach started to fill up with butterflies and nerves and I started chewing on my fingernails, "do you think Edward is up yet?"

"Considering it's nine something in the morning, probably not. But no worries. He won't have to take as much time as us girls do."

I fell over on my side in the covers, moaning, "I know... He could show up in a ballerina costume and look just as pretty."

"That's how men are. That's how we know God is a man. The older women get, the longer it takes us to look pretty. The older men get, the easier it is for them to look pretty."

"It sucks."

Renee giggled, slapping my leg playfully, "get up, babycakes. Mommy will run the shower water for you."

"Thanks mom."

I curled up with the large pillow for a moment, imagining it was Edward's body. I didn't sleep well last night. Strange dreams, again. Not exactly nightmares, just things that didn't make no sense after you awoke. Sighing, I shut my eyes, imagining his warmth. _In a few hours Bella, he'll be yours. To the point to where no one can take him away from you, ever again._

I bit my lip and smiled. I had made a pact with myself to not be a bitch to those fiddling with my hair and make up and dress today. _Just smile and be in a good mood, so the hours will move quicker._

"Hey Bells," my mom chimed as she strolled back into the bedroom, "missy, get the heck up out of that bed, you need to get moving."

I groaned as she pulled me away from the pillow, then laughed as she pushed me toward the bathroom, "okay, okay, I'm going!"

"Have you got your vows memorized?"

"Yes, sort of," I shrugged, feeling more nervous, "I don't like to speak in front of people, you know? I don't want to think about it."

"You'll be fine, just recite them a few times in the shower."

"Okay."

I took a long shower, allowing the steam and hot water to relax my tense, anxious muscles.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and pulled the hair net off. "Hey mom," I said, as I re-entered the room, "did you-"

My voice was cut off at the notice of my sister Rosalie, Alice, Colleen, and Alyssa all in my room. "Oh, hey guys."

"Good morning, Bride to be!" Alice said, bouncing over to me, "How do you feel?"

I shrugged, blushing.

"Delivery, Bella. Better than all these other flowers people have sent... Over by the nook."

"Thanks mom," I walked into the kitchen, to find a beautiful crystal vase filled with fresh cut, ruby-red roses. Beside it, a wooden box rested, which had a bow in the corner, and on top of that was a folded piece of paper.

Holding my breath, I opened it and read it out loud, because everyone was waiting to hear it anyway, _"'I need you more than my own life, and belong to yours more than my own soul'_... _I hope you enjoy these, I know how long you have been looking for them. Love Eternally, E.C."_

I became giddy, lifting the wooden lid from the box. Gasping, I took the top book out. "It's the very first edition of _Wuthering Heights_! Published in 1885... Wow... it has the stamp and everything..."

"Awe, Bella!" my friends gasped, all reaching out to touch it.

I quickly hugged the book to my chest, batting hands away, "No I don't want it to get torn up! You can't _imagine _how expensive this is... I cannot believe he found this."

"How did Edward know you were looking for the first edition?" Alice asked, sliding in behind me to grab a cup of coffee.

I covered my mouth, in a giddy overload, "It's... okay, so we were Biology partners when we were fifteen, and we were just friends at the time... He came over so we could study, and I had shown him my little bookshelf that was in the living room, and he pulled out my ragged, handed down copy of it and started making fun of the story. I quickly got offended and jerked the book from his hands, telling him how passionate I was about the love story and the characters, and he made fun of me for the rest of the night about it... in fact, I'm pretty sure he made fun of me for a month afterward... Anytime I'd take a book to class he'd be like, _'oh, why aren't you reading your little Wuthering Heights nonsense?', _you know, just to pick on me and irritate me... But I cannot believe he remembered that I hadn't found it... after all these years."

"See?" Alice said, rubbing my back, "Even when he's in Assward mode, he can still be Romeoward on the inside."

The other book made me gasp as well. It was the original 1649, 1st English Edition, of poems and poetry by Virgil... something I had never owned even a duplicate, but had always looked for. Edward and I used to spend hours in bookstores searching but never finding any published works of him, as they were rare.

"He's so amazing."

"Isn't he?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "I wish I could go thank him." _...for a few hours._

"Absolutely not," she said, "now go get you some clothes on. It's time to get down to business."

I quickly threw on my white sweatpants jump-suit Colleen purchased for me. It's white juicy pants, blue satin tank-top, and a white zip-up jacket, and on the back were blue letters that read, "_Soon To Be Mrs. Cullen_"." I became bubbly and bouncy just seeing those words backward in the mirror.

I was starting to get excited!

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.

I didn't sleep worth shit. Anytime I tried, that same dream I had from the night before kept popping back in to piss me off.

Alice was all ready gone, I heard her leave way earlier, through the ins and outs of my consciousness.

Before I could sit up, Emmett, Paul, and Dean came tumbling through the door, cheery and happy go-lucky.

"Hey fucker, happy fucking wedding day, _bitch_!" Emmett said, jumping on my bed.

"Get the fuck off," I sneered, pulling the covers under my chin.

"Why?"

"Because I have morning wood and don't want to share my bed with you while I have it."

They burst into fits of laughter, Dean and Paul relaxing on Alice's bed.

"Dude, just go take care of it," Emmett tried, climbing off and walking toward my kitchen nook.

"I can't. Bella's rules."

"Fuck her rules, how's she gonna know?"

"Trust me, she has her ways."

"We won't say shit, will we guys?"

Paul and Dean nodded their heads in agreement.

I groaned, rubbing my face, "she'll know. She's doing this shit on purpose."

"And the pussy-whipping _really _begins," Emmett teased, earning two middle fingers from me.

"Shut the fuck up," I sat up and climbed off the bed, taking my covers with me, hiding my shit from them.

"Yo, on the real, Eddykins, she best let you put it in her ass after all of this no-sex bullshit."

"Em, shut up," I chuckled, "your words aren't helping my situation."

"Edward, come on, talk to us, what's the Honeymoon plans?" Paul asked, rubbing his beard, "Are you going to just have sex the entire time you're away?"

"Yes."

"Like, kinky sex?"

I chuckled, putting toothpaste on my toothbrush, "Hopefully non-stop."

"Humor us," Dean said, walking in the bathroom without fucking knocking, "if you could get Bella to do three things on this vacation of yours, sexually, that is, what would they be? Shit she hasn't done yet."

I shook my head, brushing my teeth, mumbling through the paste, "go away."

"COME ON! We're you're best buds!" Paul shouted at me.

I kept brushing, shaking my head. I hated peer-pressure when it came to these three. They knew they could get any information they wanted out of me if they tried hard enough.

I had no reserve when it came to my best friends.

"We all know putting it in her booty is one," Emmett said, walking in the now crowded bathroom, holding up a hand-held video camera, "so we can cross that one off the list."

"Guys, seriously, quit," I began splashing water in my mouth and swirling it around.

"I bet you he wants to be fucking tied down," Dean joked, nudging my side with his elbow, _"'oooh, Bella, give it to me, mistress!'"_

"Shut the fuck up," I laughed, pouring myself a cup of mouthwash, "_I'm _the dominating one in our relationship."

"Ooohhhhh, now he's talkin'!" Paul shouted, motioning for Emmett to come on the other side with the camera while I gurgled my mouth wash.

"No I'm not," I said after spitting. I turned the water cold, trying to kick them away. "You guys all ready said one, leave it at that."

All they did was laugh and dodge my feet.

I tried to think of a way to answer their question so they'd leave me alone, without giving away too much detail.

"Come on!" Paul begged.

"Fucker!" Dean shouted.

"Please?"

"Yeah please!"

"Just give us something!"

Emmett threw a towel at me, "Come on, Edward, three things and we swear we'll give you your privacy. Just three little thin-"

"I want her to touch herself in front of me, I want her to let me lick her _everywhere_, and I want her to trust me enough to let me do whatever the fuck I want. There, now get the fuck out," I pushed them into the walls and one by one, through the door, then I knocked the camera out of Emmett's hand.

I heard him cursing on the other side of the door, but didn't care.

At least I got them out of the room.

"Don't be a dick to us just because you have a boner!" Emmett shouted through the door.

_Asshole._

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I waited until we heard the shower water running, and then motioned for Paul and Dean.

_Plan was in motion._

They laughed quietly, following me out of Edward's bedroom and down the hall.

"Okay, remember the plan?" I asked.

"Yep, tend to the mothers," Dean said.

"Get Bella to meet you in the stairwell," Paul replied.

"And no one else, remember," I stated. "Very important rule."

"We got it, we got it!"

I snickered, finding myself in the stair well. _Edward better fucking thank me for this shit later._

I felt proud to be the best man.

About three minutes later, Bella came into the stair well, wearing a tight, sexy white jump-suit outfit, fresh face, hair pulled up in a pony tail.

"Damn," I said, shaking my head, "you look fine."

She blushed, shaking her head, "what do you want, Emmett?"

"I mean, you're not married yet, so... you know, if you need Emmett to alleviate some tension for you, I can be _your _best man too," I teased.

She slapped me hard on the chest with the back of her hand, "does Edward know you're in here?"

"No," I put up my index finger, "and it's very important that he doesn't find out. I come bearing gifts."

"Gifts?" she raised her eyebrow.

"Well, not necessarily gifts... more like, vital information that can assist you into Honeymoon glory."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "What are you talking about?"

I quickly opened the monitor screen on the side of my hand held video camera, and rewound the tape to where I started.

Then I walked in front of her, and after making sure no one was coming, I hit play.

She looked confused, until she saw Edward being chased into the bathroom by the three of this.

As soon as she saw him, she became giddy... that was, until she heard what we were demanding from him.

"I can't believe you guys m-"

"Shhhhh," I hushed her, "just watch."

She exhaled, watching the tape, giggling as Edward almost kicked Paul in the nads.

Then she heard his answer, and her mouth dropped a little.

I closed the case, and looked down to her, "Edward has no idea we showed this to you. He'd probably kill me. But I thought you needed the information."

She thought to herself for a few moments, face bewildered.

"What are you thinking?"

"Just... thinking," she pondered, biting her lip, "_lick her everywhere_," she quoted, "that can be... ewwwwwww, wait, _ugh_, Emmett, why did you have to show me that!"

"Because you need to know what he wants! It'd be the best honeymoon present _ever_!"

Bella groaned, covering her face, "I do not feel comfortable knowing _you _know what he wants to happen between the two of us."

"This is what friends are for, Bells. Getting the information out on behalf of the guy, so they get what they want. It's sacrifice!"

"It's disturbing."

"Still." I ran after her when she tried to escape, and gently grabbed her arm, "Bella, wait, come on, be honest here. Don't tell me you haven't secretly fantasized about his mouth all over your body, or sitting on his face, or fucking letting him dominate you, because I'll call your bluff in a heartbeat."

"That's none of your bus-"

"Okay, so since we're not denying it, let's just say... Thank you, Emmett."

She narrowed her eyes at me, but couldn't fight the smile inching the corners of her lips, "Thanks, _Emmett_."

"You're welcome," I smirked, slapping her ass as she walked out of the stair well.

_Mission accomplished._

We made it back to the bedroom with a minute to spare.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

Man it takes women forever to get ready.

We've been awake for a few hours, and have hardly gotten anywhere.

Bella blew out a gust of wind, and I watched as her eyes bounced around in her reflection.

"What are you thinking sissy? Talk to me." I said, wrapping a strand around the curling iron.

She shrugged, biting down her lip. I could tell she was fighting back tears.

"Talk to me Bella," I said again. "Don't hold it in."

"I just keep thinking I'm losing time," she said, voice shaken.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she shrugged, her eyes falling to her lap.

I watched a tear drop straight down to her hands, and it clenched at my heart strings.

"I just keep thinking... this is the end, you know? I mean... if this isn't real anymore, if he isn't real this time... if we're not really together, then I'm running out of time. Any moment now, it's going to snap back into focus, and I'm going to realize that I'm all alone again... I keep thinking about... the night I was in that bathtub... I just... I don't know, really... I just feel like I'm going to wake up and realize I'm back in that nightmare. That he doesn't love me anymore, that he didn't pick me... That our life, and our future, and this baby and all of this is nothing but a fantasy I've built in my head..."

"No," I whispered, kissing the top of her head, "it's not your imagination, Bella. Edward and you are meant to be together, it's the way it's supposed to be."

More tears fell and she began to choke up, "I'm sorry, I know it sounds crazy but... I mean, I'm pregnant, and all over-emotional as it is, so don't make fun of me because I'm not making sense. But.. You know, a few times I've asked Edward if this is real or why he loves me, and he gets so upset with me. He doesn't yell at me, necessarily, but he tells me and tries to prove over and over and over again that it's real, that we're together and that everything is fine... and I was truthfully convinced of it, and finally content in my life, you know? So ecstatic, just waiting to get to the part of the _I Do'_s, you know? But... now it's all hitting me, that maybe it _is _in my head. ...God, I sound idiotic."

"No," Colleen said, as she started on her next fingernail, "you sound like a girl who'd had her heart crushed before... it's natural, for us women, to build walls when we're broken. It's how we survive until we become strong again... if we're ever strong again, that is. But Bella, you _are _strong... You're passionate and caring and sensitive... and I think those are your best qualities. But Edward, he _is _real, and he's in the room down the hall, and he's probably just as overwhelmed with feelings as you are... but I know that he wants to be yours just as much as you want to be his."

"Yes," I agreed, "and you know that's not an easy thing for _me _to say. I mean, it took me forever and a day to get used to the idea of Edward Cullen being back in my sister's life... But Bella, honestly, I never gave him a chance... But now I have, and I see how much that man adores you. There isn't a doubt in my mind that he just wants to be a part of your happiness."

"He's _everything _though," Bella said, almost argumentative, "every thought in my mind... every sound I hear in my head, every face I see. I mean... this is _scary_, in a way. I've never been more sure of this, but it _terrifies _me, how sure I _am_. Does that make sense? I mean... is it natural to be this willing to give your entire heart away without hesitation? Your entire life? This can't be normal."

"It's not," I said, curling another piece. "To be honest with you, it's _not _normal for most people to give themselves away one hundred percent. We may give ourselves away a good ninety percent, but never that full hundred... but that's because we want to keep something for ourself, just in case we get hurt... So we can rebuild if we have to. But sissy, you and Edward are _not _normal. No offense, and I mean it in a good way, but you two are not. You are that one in a billion couple that had every single thing fall around them, in it's perfect place, at it's perfect time. Not many people find their soulmate, they just create something close in their mind and count it as a 'good enough'. But you two, you found each other, and you held on to each other, even during the darkest of nights. Just remember _why _you two are back in each other's lives. It's meant to be."

"I just wish I could talk to him," Bella mumbled, "just tell him I miss him. Just hear his voice. I don't give a damn if he called me just to tell me about the weather... I just think if I heard his voice, I'd calm down."

Colleen curled out her bottom lip, "I'm sorry, sweetie. It won't be long now. Only... what... three more hours or something?"

Bella exhaled, clutching a photo of her and Edward back from High School, "it's taking forever."

"Sometimes it takes forever to get to forever," I shrugged nonchalantly.

Suddenly, Bella's head popped up and she looked at me through the mirror.

"What?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Nothing," she whispered, "...but I think that's the first time I've ever heard you make sense."

I giggled, swatting the back of her head, "don't make me burn you, child. I'm armed with a weapon here."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

It had to be close to two o'clock by now.

I heard the door open, and quickly began rubbing my face.

"Edward?"

Clearing my throat, I attempted to make myself appear busy, "uh, yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, wishing my voice was stronger, "just getting ready."

"Son?"

I felt my mom's hand on my elbow, and exhaled, shutting my eyes.

"Oh baby, what is it?"

"Nothing," I said, trying to walk away.

Of course, I couldn't, because she grabbed me tighter.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing."

"Edward Anthony Cullen."

"Mom. Stop," I said, walking away from her, toward the bathroom.

She quickly ran in front of me, blocking the door way, "are you getting cold feet?"

"What? _Nooooo_. No, no, no," I shook my head, pushing past her toward the sink, "I'm only thinking."

"About what? Talk to your mother."

"It's nothing," I waved my hand in the air, brushing it off.

I caught a glimpse of my face in the mirror, and cursed my red reflection. _Fucking giveaway._

My mom stepped behind me and started massaging my shoulders, and I instantly relaxed, shutting my eyes and dropping my head. "Thank you."

"You're welcome baby. I don't want you tensing up today."

"I'm not tense, I'm just," I whispered, shrugging, "trying to wrap up my vows, and it's hard getting through a certain part."

"I thought you finished your vows," she stated softly.

"I did, but I keep re-writing them. Nothing I say seems good enough to explain how I feel."

"Sometimes it's hard to use words..."

"...Yeah."

"Well... what's got you upset? Maybe I can help you."

"I don't know..." I said, trying to shake it off.

"Yes you do. Tell me."

I twisted around and leaned against the sink, while she sat on the edge of the tub, "I wanted to... tell her how I felt when we split up, how empty I was without her, that way she can have a better understanding of how important she is to me... but... it really fucking hurts to put myself back there. I've been avoiding and avoiding that break-up shit since it fucking happened basically, with the exceptions of the binges, and... it sucks, putting myself back into that place. I start thinking about it and I get upset and... I hate it. I hate feeling that _empty_."

Esme frowned, looking up at me with solemn eyes, "I'm sorry baby. I know how tough it is."

"Yeah," I scoffed, looking down at the tile, "I really just want to tell her how much she means to me, but it's all coming out shitty."

"I don't think it really matters, the exact _words _that you say... I think the thing that counts the most is the _person _saying them. Bella's not going to thrive on every single word you say... but more importantly, the sound of your voice and the look in your eyes when you speak. She's going to see the person she chose to spend her half of forever with. She's going to be overwhelmed in emotion, and she's going to be reassured more-so every second that you _are _the one for her. So... if you struggle with the dark side of your history, then you don't _have _to go there. Just tell her how you feel now that you have her back in your life."

"Oh it's that simple, is it?"

"I know it is. I see how you look at her, Edward. You..." She stopped speaking, so she could look down to her heel, avoiding tears. Her voice was so low, I barely heard her talking when she spoke again, "The way that you look at her, Edward... your father and I don't even see each other that way. We're close, don't get me wrong. And we're happy as can be, in love every single day... But you two are _rare_. What you have, is _rare_. You have an against the odds relationship, and I don't want the two of you to back away from it cowardly just because it terrifies you. Not many people can compare themselves to the two of you, and for good reason. None of us have been as close to happiness as you and Bella are reaching today. So you have to welcome the moment with open arms, baby. Welcome it and seize it, for that moment is the start of your life together."

I sat up on the sink, running my fingers through my hair, "I just wish I could see her. Things come to clarity whenever Bella is around me."

Esme smiled up at me genuinely, "just another reason why this is meant to be."

I rubbed my face, and yawned.

"Did you sleep well last night baby?"

"No," I shook my head. "Can't sleep good without Bella."

"Well you had Cora didn't you? I know Spendor slept with Bella last night..."

"Yeah but still... I'm used to having my _girl _in my arms, you know?"

"I know," she whispered. "You'll have her again soon. Just..." she took a glance at her watch, "two and a half more hours... you are still aiming for a sunset wedding, right?"

"Mmhmm," I rolled my eyes, pushing the back of my head against hte mirror, "God, that sounds like eternity getting here. Almost three hours."

She snickered, standing to her feet, "are you going to shave?"

"No, Bella made me promise to keep the scruff. She uh... likes it."

"Mmmm," she placed her hands on her hips, "I'm not even going to ask about that one. Um... okay, how about... I keep everyone out of the room, and you just lay down and rest for a while? You don't have to nap, if you don't think you can, but just close your eyes and try to relax... After a while, you'll feel refreshed, and maybe you can think clearer that way... maybe those vows will make more sense."

I hopped off the sink and pulled her into my arms, "I love you mama. Thank you for everything."

"I just want you happy, baby" she rubbed my back, then led me into the room.

I snickered as she pulled down the covers for me and fluffed the pillow, just as she used to when I was a child. After I climbed in bed and got Cora Corona to lay down beside me, Esme kissed the top of my head and tucked me in, before flicking off the lights and closing the door.

And the strange thing was? ...I fell right asleep.

It just goes to show you that no matter how old we get, and what is going on in our lives, we will always need our mother's.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Edward..."

"Mmmm?"

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"Wake up. You're getting married in an hour and a half."

I snapped up, to find Alice sitting beside me, wearing her bridesmaid dress. "Hey. You look nice."

"Thank you," she giggled, shrugging her shoulders. "...Big day, huh?"

"Yeah. Thanks for getting me up," I yawned, rubbing my eyes.

"Get some sleep?"

"A little. Where's the guys?"

"I sent them downstairs to get all the tux's in order. They're equipped with Jameson Irish Whiskey and cigars, pre-warning. So I brought you some breakfast-slash-lunch... bacon and eggs, rye toast. Orange Juice, and I even went down the road to get you and Bella Starbuck's. You're welcome, by the way."

"Ohhh, you're a doll," I hugged her, and climbed out of the bed, "I love you, Ally."

"I love you too. Now... can I trust that you are going to eat and get your booty downstairs?"

"Yes," I stretched out my arms, and then dropped them to my sides, adjusting myself in my boxers.

She giggled, covering her face and walking away, "you're such a man, playing with his junk. Okay. Grandpa Victor and Carlisle are down there with the guys. So... Get moving!"

"Eye, eye, captain."

She started to walk out, but I quickly grabbed her.

"Hey Al?"

"Yeah?" she asked, looking up at me.

I smirked, rubbing my face, "what's Bella look like? How's she doing over there?"

She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at me, "You're not getting any information from me, Cullen."

"Just tell me if she's doing all right, that's all I really need to know."

"She's full of anticipation and butterflies, but yes, she's doing okay. Every other second is, 'I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait..."

I grinned, nodding my head, "that's all I needed to hear."

"Okay," she smacked my ass, "get moving. Don't make me start a fire under your feet."

"Get out of here pixie," I pushed her out the door, laughing while I did it.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I stood naked in front of the mirror, examining every square inch of my body.

I hadn't put on much weight so far, maybe an inch or so around my hips, but nothing that was going to make notice.

I didn't feel insecure today. I felt... sexy. Confident.

After all, this body wasn't going to be mine anymore, and I felt good about what I was giving away. On top of that, Rosalie's suggestion for a brazillion wax made me feel that much better about tonight... though the pain of it was something I never, ever want to go through again for a while.

My hair was teased at the crown, my bangs pulled back in a small part at the top, and fluffed with volume and texture. The rest of my hair remained down, in large, wistful curls that bounced around in both directions. Full of body, plus a few shimmer highlights here and there thanks to my mom's doing last night...

Fingernails and toes French manicured. Foundation, bronzed blush and shadow, liner, mascara, plump lips... I was off to a good start.

"Hey mom!"

"Yes, darling Bella."

"Can you bring me my slip?"

"Are you ready to put your dress on?"

"Almost."

"Okay, I'll send Alyssa in with it."

I wrapped a towel around me, and giggled at the tiny knock on the bathroom door, "come in, sweetheart."

Alyssa bounced in, carrying my silk slip in her arms delicately, like it would break if she dropped it. She looked up at me with wide eyes, and held it out.

"Thank you angel," I kissed her head, before taking it. "I appreciate you bringing it to me." I slipped it on before removing the towel, so she didn't get any peep shows. Then I turned to face her, "pretty?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Tan I wears some of dat too?"

"Some of what?"

She pointed to my lipstick.

"Mmm... Colleen, can Alyssa wear some lip gloss?"

"Sure hun!" Colleen shouted from the ironing board in my room, and I waved to her, before lifting her daughter onto the sink.

"Okay, what color do you want to wear?"

"Da same as dat one," she touched my lips.

"Okay, open your mouth a little."

She did and I smiled, holding her face tenderly while I applied the light pink color.

"Okay, now put your lips together like this, rub it around..."

She mocked me, then released her lips with a _smack_.

I lifted the hand held mirror to her, "what do you think?"

She smiled wide and nodded, "pwetty like tu."

"Yes you are, even prettier than me, if you ask me."

"Fanks. Tan I help get du dwessed?"

"Sure hunny, if you want. Can you grab that box on the bed that has my shoes inside?"

She reached out for me and I put her on the ground, and she was off and running.

While she was doing that, Rosalie stepped inside and cracked the door, before she started stripping her clothes off.

"Jesus Rose," I giggled, touching her side. "Looks like Jake got ahold of you."

She looked down and blushed at the hickey above her pelvic bone, "yeah... He's good at that."

"I'm not even going to ask," I laughed, turning around.

Rosalie beamed and climbed in the shower, gasping at the water temperature, "I don't know Bella. He's just so wonderful. I feel like I'm going crazy or something."

"Why? Because it's Jake?"

"No, not because it's Jake, my best friend... but it's because it's _Jake_, my _best _friend."

"Uh... aren't you contradicting yourself?"

"I don't look at it like, ew, how did I fall in love with my best friend. I look at it like, oh my gosh, I freakin' fell for Jacob Black, my best friend, and it's ending up amazing... how the fuck did that happen?"

"Uh oh, do I hear wedding bells in the future for you two?"

"Ha, doubt it. I mean, I ...wouldn't mind, of course, but we're both in a place in our lives where we're just happy being together."

I smiled and gave Alyssa a hug when she brought me my shoes, "I definitely have noticed you two smiling a lot more, that's for sure."

"Yeah," Rosalie giggled, "it's really nice. I don't want to be a fucking cheesy girl or anything... but I will give you one tid-bit. The sex is... ECSTACY, ECSTACY, _ECSTACY_. I mean... mind-numbing, toe-curling, do me fourteen more times tonight please... ecstacy!"

I squat down in front of Alyssa, sure that Rose wasn't aware she was in here with us, "don't repeat anything Rose says, okay?"

"Tay," she answered, before running off to her mom.

I shut the door and sat on the toilet so I could slip on my heels, "so it's that good huh?"

"Oh dear _God _Bella... I mean, he doesn't necessarily _need _the tongue ring, but the things he can do now that he _has _it... You should definitely tell Edward to get his tongue pierced."

I blushed and looked to the ground, "yeah well, apparently Edward's got other ideas when it comes to... that particular subject."

She stuck her head out of the shower curtain, ignoring the black mascara that was running from her face from the night before, "do tell."

I couldn't stop my cheeks from heating as I focused on a tile in the bathroom floor, "Emmett showed me this video tape of Edward talking... he doesn't know I saw it... Anyways, it has a few things he told the guys he wanted me to do with him, sexually, and... I don't know, it's-"

"What were they?"

"Uh..." I shut my eyes, hating why I was so embarrassed. I am an adult, a woman, and I shouldn't be, but I am. "He said... something about licking everywhere, touching myself in front of him, and letting him dominate, or something like that... plus of course, the whole anal sex thing."

"Mmm... hmm," Rosalie thought as she rinsed out her hair.

"What?"

"Okay well I say you should go for it."

"Are you ser-"

"Heck yes, I'm serious. Bella, okay. Listen to me, for I am wise when it comes to sex. If you do the few things that a man asks you, not only might you like it once you let your guard down... but you'll own the keys to his kingdom. He will be putty in your hands. He all ready looks at you like you have a light around you, but if you do what he secretly fantasizes about... if you go there... he'll look at you like you have a freakin' shining halo over your head."

"I take it you know this from experience?"

She stuck her head out of the shower, this time with no make-up streaming down her face, "yes. I would. Thanks to Jake."

"Oh God, do I even _want _to know what he got you to do?"

She licked her lips, "let's just say... all of the things your man has listed on his wish notes."

I popped off the toilet, walking over toward the shower, "you actually let him... with his tongue..."

She raised her hands, shaking her head, "I know it sounds gross, but as long as you're clean... I'm telling you it feels amazing. And you can reciprocate there for them bec-"

"Ew, oh, okay, stop."

"I'm serious Bella! It's nothing to be ashamed about! It took Jake about ten minutes to convince me to let him try it -- and ten minutes is two weeks in your time -- and the moment he did it... Holy shit. Best. Feeling. Ever. Almost better than the front... almost."

I covered my face and walked away, "I have freakin' images of that stuff in my mind now, thank you very much."

"Oh and the dominating thing... it's not like he's going to pull out chains and whipping benches. He's not that controlling! But just let him tie you up a little and explore your body. He'll die a happy man. Oh, and you must let him do the back door thing at _least _once. Just my suggestion. And touching yourself in front of him... girl, let me tell you. That man will come without even having to touch you. They're visual creatures, Bella. It's the way it is, and you can't change it."

"Rose, I knew you were comfortable with sex but I had no idea you were into all of _that_."

She shrugged, sticking her head back in the shower, "when you trust someone, you'll pretty much do whatever they want, and let them do whatever they want to you."

"And Jake..."

"I love him, Bella," she whispered. "Like really fucking, cheesy songs, heart beating like crazy, having breakfast in bed and sex every day... love him. Just him. It's like this switch turned on and everything came in focus."

"Really?" I gushed, feeling giddy she was being honest.

"Yeah... it's crazy."

"So no more Emmett feelings?"

"None. He... won't talk to me, actually. He told Jake he was going to be civil until after the wedding, for Edward, but he had nothing to say to him after that. I guess he's formed it in his mind that I was cheating on him the entire vacation or something stupid like that."

"Men are such tools sometimes."

"Yeah well he flew Miss Blonde, horse-faced Heather down last night so I don't know why he has to be a dick to us. He's moved on as well, you know?"

"Emmett is a softy on the inside Rose. He puts up a front for the world to see, but I've seen him with the shell cracked, and he can be pretty sensitive underneath. I'm sure that, even if he's moved on from you, it's still a weird thing to see you flaunting yourself with Jacob Black."

"What, so I shouldn't be happy I finally opened my eyes to something beautiful?"

"No, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying... try to be respectful when you do it."

"Bella, no offense because I love you more than anything, but you and Edward weren't too keen on being respectful when you two got back together, in front of Jasper and Tanya."

"I know," I frowned, "but I didn't love Jasper like you and Emmett proclaimed to love each other."

"I was wrong though... I didn't love him, Bella. Because I love Jake, and I can see the huge difference."

"It'll be okay," I smiled reassuringly. "It'll all work out."

"I know..." she climbed out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her, "look at you and Edward. You two are proof that things work out."

I beamed like a fool and shrugged my shoulders, "...it's crazy, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Today."

"Yeah... it's sweet," she dropped her arms and swung open the door, "okay, enough bonding shit. Let's get on the ball here!"

I laughed and followed her toward the rest of the girls, who were now in their dresses, applying their makeup.

Edward and I got lucky because his mother's best friend, _Jim Hjelm_, was available to design my entire dress collection for me.

I chose Colleen to be my Maid Of Honor for a few reasons. One, she was my best friend, and had been for four years now. Second, she supported me being with Edward with no questions asked. Third, I had asked my sister Rosalie to be our baby's Godmother, because that role fit her better. She was completely fine and understanding of why I didn't ask her to be the MOH. She was better with children, and though she was okay with Edward and I _now_, I felt that Colleen was more deserving of the title.

We were going to use Alice as Edward's 'Best Woman' but I couldn't decide whether or not I wanted Jasper or Jake on my side, since they were my two best guy friends these days... Jasper would have been awkward, since he and I dated, and Jake was like Rose when it came to just now coming around with Edward and I, so... yeah.

Therefor, Alice and Rose were selected as my two Bridesmaids. Their dresses were a copperish truffle color, with tissue taffeta fabric. Strapless, tea-length, asymmetrical waist which flowed to a tucked-in bottom, resting a couple of inches before the knee.

Colleen's was a two-tone satin strapless dress. Tea-length, with a high waistline and side pockets. The top was a chocolate mink color, while the long skirt was more of a light purpleish, silver toned, candlelight shade.

Alyssa's Flower Girl dress was a toffee-cream, full length gown, with a pink ribbon around the high-waist, and pink accent above the top of the square-neck line.

I asked my mother Renee to be the person to walk me down the isle. I felt no one else could do the job now that Charlie and Phil have past on. She chose a cream, silky, tea-length gown, complete with a square neckline, heigh-length waist which had a thin praline ribbon around the front, wrapping around the diaphragm section.

Esme did most of the wedding planning, so we didn't ask her to be in the wedding, because we want to stress her out. She too chose to wear a _Jim Hjelm_ strapless dress, silky, with a mini pearl toned bust, and a high-waisted skirt in a purple-blueberry shade, with a dark waist belt.

Everyone's hair had curls in it.

Alyssa's in tiny, tight, bouncy curls. Alice with side-swept bangs and loose, larger curls. Esme's hair was full of loose, fluffy, long curls. Renee also chose to do side-swept bangs, and ran her fingers through her hair, to make the curls seem more flow-like. Rosalie teased her hair to make a 'back-from-the-beach-look' with her waves, and Colleen's hair was naturally curly, so she just wrapped a few sections around a thin-barelled curling iron for extra volume.

Everyone's make-up were similar as well. Pink and peach shades, bronzer, plump lips, mascara. For a finished look, they each added diamond bangle bracelets to their own liking, as well as similar necklaces, and tiny cloth flowers to put one of each on the side of their hair.

After I helped get everyone else ready, it was now time to focus on me... and that's when it _really _became real.

Biting my lip, I shut my eyes and lifted my arms, allowing them to pull the white dress over my head.

I could feel myself getting emotional, but I didn't let it overflow. It was a very overwhelming feeling, knowing that this time I put the dress on, it _meant _something.

This was the time where all of the years that Edward and I were both together and apart added up.

This was where all of our hard work building an 'US' paid off.

This was the first part of forever with him.

I blew out a gust of wind while they fluffed out the train and zipped up the back.

I wanted to surprise Edward with the dress I selected. I knew that everyone expected me, _'blushing and somewhat-shy and reserved Bella', _to choose something that would be comfortable and flowing... and I wanted their jaws to drop when they see me step foot on the aisle. I wanted to wear a fitting dress, while I still had the chance, before I started to show too much.

I wanted to show him that I could look as beautiful as he made me feel.

It took me a few days to find the one I wanted but as soon as I saw it, I knew it was the one. A trumpet gown was what it was referred to as. I chose ivory instead of white for the shade. With it's strapless, lace accent, body-skimming silhouette, and chapel train. It was snug and formed to my body's shape perfectly, and started to flow out and down from the knee. It had an ivory satin ribbon to wrap around beneath the bust, tied in a delicate side bow.

My dress... was perfect.

I didn't stress once about it being strapless either. I knew it'd be okay.

My mom started to cry when she saw me in my dress, and had to excuse herself from the room for a moment. Rosalie started to re-fix my hair a little bit, cursing under her breath about how I should have stepped in it instead. Colleen started accessorizing me, with two different sizes of silver, diamond bangle bracelets.

Alice had her hands on her hips, studying me, "Bella, I need your ring."

"My ring?"

"Yes, the one on your hand."

"Why?" I asked, holding my hand to my chest. "He adds the band, not this ring."

She shrugged, "he just told me to come and get it from you. Don't ask questions, I have no idea why."

"But I don't want-"

"Please Bella, let's not waste time. Just hand it over. Time's a ticking here."

I exhaled, pulling it off and handing it to her, "this doesn't make sense."

"Most things don't," she said. "Be right back."

"I want that back, Alice! A-sap." I felt naked without a ring there on my finger now.

After she left, Esme entered with my mom to her side, fresh faced and happy again. "Okay sweetie," Esme began, walking over to me, "let us get a look at you."

"Okay."

"Yes. Let's see here... Your shoes are blue, so that's covered. Won't be visible with this dress, and perfect for your second selection. You have something new, which is your dress. So you need something old, and something borrowed."

I bit my lip, looking around.

My mom, sniffling still, walked over to me and opened a box, revealing a white garter, satin, complete with thin bow and pearls accent, "This... was mine. Charlie's mother purchased it for me, on the eve of our wedding. She said that it represented my honesty and purity to her son... and I'm saying it to you. The love that you hold for Edward has been nothing but pure and honest, even through troubled times. I see that now. So... I want you to wear it today."

"Oh mom," I gushed, as she took it out of the box, "it's incredible."

"Thank you sweetheart. Take good care of it.."

Esme beamed, while Colleen climbed to her knees and slid the garter up my leg, "okay, well that's your something borrowed. Carlisle and I have something for you as well!"

"You do?"

"Of course silly," she smiled, pulling a satin box from her purse. "Now... this has been passed down from generation to generation in the Cullen family. It was meant to be given to our daughter, but since that didn't work out and Edward is our only son... we want to give it to you."

She opened the box, and inside was the most amazing tear drop jewels. Amethyst. Real. Crystal. One dangling from a thin, silver diamond link chain, the other two on silver, hook earrings.

I gasped, pawing them through the box, "good gracious... they are... mind-blowing."

"These were Edward's grandmother's," she whispered, as she pulled the necklace out of the box and walked behind me, placing it around my neck. "And they've been kept in our safe since the day I wore them many moons ago... and I knew that they'd be perfect around your neck..."

I put the earrings on while she pulled my hair from the chain, and then held my breath when Colleen held up the full-length mirror to me.

I felt like a fairy princess. I was complete.

The entire room fell silent as we looked at my reflection.

"Wow," was pretty much the repetitive word of whisper surrounding me.

It summed up how I felt in that moment.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Okay, okay!" Emmett shouted, trying to get everyone's attention.

I looked around to all of my buddies, thankful that they could all be with me today... Emmett, my best man, the one who's been with me through thick and thin. My groomsmen, Paul and Dean, my left and right arms in this life. My three ushers, my father Carlisle, Jasper, and Jake -- who turned out to be a pretty cool dude when I gave him a chance.

Also in the room was my grandfather Victor, my work buddies who managed to convince Aubrey to let them leave to be here, Scotty, Andrew, and Jonen, as well as my college buddy, Ben.

"Now that I've got all you fucker's attention, there's a few things I need to say. First of all, as you all know, I _am _the best man of best men."

They all laughed and I shook my head. _Arrogant bitch._

"In fact," he said, walking around and pulling a dark blue scarf off the back of the chair, "this is what is going to distinguish me between all you other bitches today. This scarf."

"Your scarf is gay," Dean teased, pushing him back.

"Fuck you, my scarf is awesome. I _rock _this scarf. It's chic."

"Whatever."

"Be jealous, dick. Okay, anyway. Before we all head out to go see Edward's last ounce of dignity fly down the drain-"

His voice cut off from my sucker punch to the chest, and he took a few steps back, coughing.

"I will murder you," I threatened, half-joking.

He waved his hands around, while all of my friends laughed, "okay, okay, sorry. Before we all head out there to see Edward enter a life of full _bliss_ -- watch the hands, I was going to say bliss, I promise -- ...I have to give Edward his present from Bella."

I grinned as he handed me a tiny manilla envelope, and my buddies gathered around me. Inside was a letter in Bella's beautiful, but always sloppy handwriting, which read, _'This is waiting for you back at home. I wish I could fit in the envelope, but that'd be a pretty massive package... I hope it makes you smile as you have made me smile these past seven years. No matter what, I love you for always. XOXO, Bella_.'

When I tore open the package, I found set of Polaroid tied together. As soon as I got the ribbon off, I about lost my breath. Inside were pictures of 1937 _Steinway & Sons_ Grand Piano. Black satin tones, german strings, finished plating, fresh decal... gold finish and interior. I couldn't think of how much it cost off the top of my head, but knew it was in the six figure bracket. _How did she..._

"Holy fuck," I said, clutching my chest, "you've _got _to be kidding me... How on earth did she..."

My friends started cheering as I spread the pictures around, still figuring out how to breathe correctly. I couldn't believe her.

_That woman... DAMN, I got lucky._

After I finally calmed myself down, we took a couple of shots and said a few cheers, and then I finished dressing up my tux. Scotty and Andrew went to hunt down the dogs, since they were acting as ring bearers in the ceremony -- requested by Bella.

_Speaking of... _

"Alice," I smiled, walking over and giving her a hug, "just the girl I was looking for."

"Yeah, yeah, here's her ring. What do you want with it, by the way?"

I stuck my hand in my pocket and pulled out surprise number one for Bella. A new ring.

It wasn't that I didn't like the ring I purchased for Bella before I asked her to marry me, because I did. That ring had blue in it, which was a color shared between us for years. And it did catch my eye before I purchased.

But the new ring that I am replacing it with... this ring _sang _to me. It really _was _Bella, wrapped up in a flawless piece of jewelry. It was intricate but polished. It was simple-elegance, yet internally complicated. It was admirably stunning and whimsical, just as she is to me. This ring -- her ring -- was _meant _to be on her finger. I knew it the very second I saw it. Nothing else would sit right on her hand.

Designed with a 18ct platinum band. Claw setting beneath a flat, single, solitaire princess cut stone... a 1 & 1/2 carat diamond, with a height of only .5cm and a width of only .2 cm. It was magnificent.

And of course, I had to do an engraving.

Since '_a moment of clarity' _was taken from the previous ring, which I'm sure she'll still wear on a different finger, I chose to engrave this one with, _'His Heart', _because she has my heart in the palm of her hands, or in this case, wrapped around her finger. On the ring she purchased for me -- which I have yet to see; I made my mother get without her knowing -- I asked to have a similar engraving on the inside of it as well, '_Her Heart'_, because I recognize that I have her heart and will do everything I must to keep it safe. Then on the bottom's of the rings, where you can see if you look down into your palm, hers says, _'ONE' _with _a picture of a heart_ next to it and mine says '_SOUL_'. So if we hold hands or put our rings a certain way, it'd say, _'ONE(HEART)SOUL'_.

Therefore, _'Her Heart + His Heart = ONE(HEART)SOUL'. _

As soon as I explained it to Alice, she practically turned into a gushing puddle of mud at my feet.

I laughed, rubbing her shoulders, "let's just hope Bella has the same reaction, okay?"

"Oh I'm sure she will, Edward. It's perfect. What about the second band?"

"Just a simple, thin, platinum band. That way she can slide it beneath the stone, and it won't be gawky. I've noticed Bella likes things simple."

"That she does," she exhaled. "I say, the more diamonds, the merrier, but that's just me... Then again, that many carats packed into _that_... When it comes to jewelry, I taught you well my friend."

I smirked, and threw on my tux jacket and readjusted my bow-tie, "how do I look?"

"Excellent," she grinned, "one more thing."

I steadied myself as she pinned on a splash of baby breath and dendrobium flowers to the left side of my jacket.

"Now you're ready."

I gave her a hug and turned to my friends and family, "Well gentleman, are we ready to marry me off yet?"

"We've been fucking ready," Emmett said, adjusting his scarf to where both sides were even, "let's get the preacher man and rock this shit!"

I laughed and popped in a mint for luck, before giving the other ring to Andrew, so he could tie it on Spendor's collar, "Let's do this. I'm ready."

"Here's to Edward, may he be the best looking groom this world has ever seen!" my grandfather Victor shouted, and all of my friends cheered along with me.

"Here's to Bella not standing me up," I teased, with a grin. "Or we will hunt her down with pitchforks."

"Here, here!"

"Gentleman?"

We turned around, to find one of our wedding coordinators, Andy, leaning in the doorway.

"Are we ready?"

"Yes," I smiled, exhaling.

"Follow me."

I crossed my fingers for luck as I did.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Suddenly, things started happening really fast.

After we finished primping and prepping me, people started vanishing and entering.

A sea of "oh you look so pretty!" and "we're about ready to start" and "Bella are you ready?" clouded over my head in repeat by different voices, as things were being grabbed, and a drape covered me, so no one aside from my wedding party were able to see me in my dress.

"Mom did you grab my bag with my second dress i-"

"Yes honey, I have it. We have everything."

"The flowers, the bouq-"

"_Everything_, Bella. We have it all under control. Let's just get you married before you turn me into a nervous wreck."

As we walked down the hallway from my room, I caught brief glimses of people taking their seats in the distance, out the far window.

Edward & I chose an outside ceremony, full of earth colors -- yellows, greens, cream colors. We wanted it to be peaceful. Serene.

Dark green bushes trailing on the right side, leading up the step-up gazebo. Greenish dendrobium flowers graced around the top of the gazebo, along with a select few white hydrangeia and mini-calla lille bouquets.

90 white chairs in even rows of five across, and nine rows back sat in place, lined up on either side of my marble brick pathway, which would be my isle. The last row of chairs had yellow drapery on the backs of them. Every other isle, there were bouquets of mini calla lilies and hydrangeia's tied to chairs.

Four high white dendrobium orchid trees, placed two in the front, near the gazebo, and two in the back, behind the chairs. Each chair had a starfish shell on it, and beneath that was our wedding planner notes, with a history of mine and Edward's relationship.

There were three horizontal marble-brick pathways leading up the gazebo. One on the right, one down the middle, and one on the left. All of them led around the back of the chairs, meeting in a large circle. The chairs sat spread between them, with my isle pathway in the middle. Esme and Alice decorated the main isle with petals of white, cream, and yellow roses, as well as more hydrangeia and calla lilies. My bouquet was also made of cream mini calla-lilies, fastened by a white cloth, with a silver ring jewel in the front.

Because it was warm outside, Esme had waiters serve our guests cherry-dipped lemon Italian ice on the rocks, inside of long vase-glasses. When rays from the sunlight hit the glasses a certain way, the colors inside seemed to sparkle and sizzle in multi-tones.

I held my breath as we traveled down the stair-case. Our photographer team was running with us, one following me, one with him all day.

I kept trying to convince myself I wasn't going to fall on top of her, because that'd be really bad. I listened to the echoes of multiple sets of heels clicking and clanking around the walls, and tried to focus on my breathing, instead of the many voices surrounding me, asking people questions about routines and songs and stuff. All this anticipation didn't do well for me.

All I wanted to do was get there. To see him. To stand by him.

Entering the lobby, I couldn't see anything but the draped covers in front of me and the exquisite golden ceilings above my head. A few people rushed to my side, event coordinators, wedding planner staff, more photographers. Continuing our movements, we followed through the tall French doors, and behind the trees of the pathway, hidden from everyone else....

My heart, which was still until that moment, started beating more powerful than a bass drum, and faster than wings of a bumblebee.

It felt like there was a fire under my toes, and I wanted to run. I squeezed Colleen and Rosalie's hands, while Alice trailed behind us, holding my train. I could hear in the distance, my mom and Esme talking about a few minor second details.

Things started to blur around me, and I quickly shut my eyes, gathering the courage to keep moving.

"Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop," Colleen whispered, as we skidded to a halt at the end of the trees. I was surrounded, and hands started touching me, adjusting my hair, making sure no make up was running, that the dress was in place, that I had my bouquet.

My hands started trembling as they gave it to me, and I felt myself hyperventilating.

"I'm g-getting married," I whispered to Colleen.

"I know!"

"But... I'm getting _married_."

"Yes you are."

"No, no, you don't understand, I, _Bella_, am getting married... r-right now..."

"She's falling apart," I heard Alice say to my right, and suddenly, my mom and Esme were in front of me.

"Bella?" Esme said, holding her hands out to me, "breathe honey."

"I can do that," I exhaled, looking to the ground.

"This is what you want," Renee said, in a half-question, making sure, since this was the very last moment to bail out.

"Yes, more than anything," I studied the sidewalk, tapping my toe against it.

Quick flashes of Charlie and Phil popped in my head but I had to dismiss them in order to get through this. I imagined them up in Heaven, arms crossed, narrowed eyes, staring down at Edward, taking dibs on who got to strike him down with lightning first if he hurt me.

I giggled to myself, waving off my friends who looked up at me like I was crazy, "inside joke."

"Mmhmm," Rosalie said, raising her eyebrow.

"Oh hush. I'm ready."

I bent down, and gave Alyssa a big hug, "are you ready, sweetie?"

She nodded, clutching her ivory basket to her chest, "Mm'most."

"What's wrong?" I brushed through her hair.

"Tan I wedded him too?"

_Okay, now I knew what Edward meant by a three year old girl turning him into mush. _

"Awe, sweetie," I said, giving her a hug, "I think it's illegal for him to marry two girls at once, unless he lives in parts of Utah or is into a certain religion or something I am not aware of."

She frowned, looking toward her basket, "He will foget about me den."

"Nooo, he loves you very much, and I promise you he won't."

"Pinky," she said, holding her finger up.

I curled mine around it and kissed her head, "okay are we ready now?"

"Yes."

"And you know not to throw the flowers at anyone's face unless they try to trip you."

"Dot it."

"Okay," I exhaled, curling my arm around my mom's.

My mom kissed the side of my cheek, then looked to our wedding planner, "We're ready."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I blew out a gust of wind, listening to the ocean on my right, and the melodies from the soft music playing in the distance. Looking out at all of our combined friends and loved ones, a sense of calm washed over me. Normally, during moments this important, I tend to over-analyze and worry, because I want everything to be perfect.

But today, however, I was extremely relaxed. Everything felt as if it fell into it's belonging place naturally, and for that, I was thankful to the keeper of the stars. I didn't panic while I took my spot at the end of the isle, in front of the gazebo. I didn't break momentum when I noticed tears in my fathers eyes, as he, Jake, and and Jasper finished seating our guests. I didn't falter when I saw the tops of the French doors opening, knowing that Bella was somewhere tucked behind the drapery and trees.

Only one thing kept me still. And that was the reassurance that this day was seven years in the making, if not almost twenty-three years.

Not only does Bella belong to me, heart and soul, but I belong to her in equal assesions. She and I were meant for each other, and I couldn't be more happy than I was at this moment.

It felt good, to shake our pastor, Joe's hand, and then turn toward our guests, fold my hands in front of me, notice my three best friends to my right, and proudly wait to receive what I had battled to earn. It felt incredible knowing that even the wrong roads that Bella and I chose to take led us to the same destination in the end.

This moment, waiting to see her... Bella has given me truth. She was like fresh air. Standing here, waiting for her, I felt serenity.

We didn't have to fight for each other anymore. We didn't have to fight to make each other see, or to listen, or to come back.

All we had to do was wait for the final pieces and dust particles to set in place.

And they would.

And for that, I would happily stand here for as long as I needed to.

Bella and I chose to do a semi-traditional, mostly unique wedding ceremony. Sure, we wanted to use the same openings and same final vows. But we had also written our own. On top of that, we selected a contemporary song for Bella to walk down the isle to, and mixed a few things around in the middle. We selected segments from classic poetry. Segments from Shakespeare.

We wanted this ceremony to distinguish that she looked at me differently, as did I to her, from the rest of the world. I don't see anyone else but her now.

A picture of Charlie in his police uniform sat to the right of the chairs, by the white dendrobium orchid tree, and a picture of Phil in his baseball uniform was placed on the left side of the chairs, next to a mirroring tree. I knew Bella would want them there as well, and hoped she'd like my second surprise.

I could tell from the way the sun was lowering behind me, on my right, that it was any minute before I saw Bella in that dress. It felt like the insides of my legs were Jello-like, but my hands remained untrembling. My mom took her seat in the front row, thanks to my dad escorting her, and she gave me a sweet smile and a short nod.

_Now _it was time.

The song that we had selected for the arrivals was the acoustic, semi-upbeat melodies of _Trading Yesterday, _with _'Beautiful'. _I selected it because nothing else could describe Bella, and no one else deserved the title of 'beautiful' more than she did in my eyes.

I licked my lips and exhaled, rounding my shoulders. I heard Emmett, my best man, and me two groomsmen, Dean and Paul, round their shoulders and re-situate their bodies.

Wind blew tenderly on our backs, and over the guests in delicate waves. The gentle guitar strums surrounded us, the first verse crashed over us. I exhaled in I smiled as Rosalie was the first to walk down the long marble isle, in her copperish, strapless dress. Her blonde hair placed gently behind her shoulders, I noticed her wink at Jake as she passed him, and then focus her narrowed eyes at me. It was her last time she could threaten me bodily harm if I hurt her sister.

I grinned at her and gave her a slight nod, _I won't hurt her, Rose._

After she walked down the flowered marble sidewalk, she turned to my right, and took her spot on the bottom stair case, and the second verse started to on.

Next, was my best friend Alice, in the same dress as Rose, with her short hair in wide curls and side-swept bangs. Her pace was a bit faster than Rose's. She smiled up at me, a little misty-eyed, as she came closer. I gave her a reassuring grin, letting her know that I was okay, and that everything was cool. (We had an inside joke that if anything felt off, this would be the part where she faked a broken leg or passed out). She giggled a little but straightened up just as quickly, and I pursed my lips, so I wouldn't start laughing. Leave it to her to get me going.

She gave me one last smile as she passed me, and then took her spot in front of Rosalie, on the second to last step.

The chorus came on next, as did Colleen, Bella's maid of honor and best friend. In her strapless, two-toned dress, she steadied her tiny bouquet of carnations in front of her, smiling warmly as she came closer to me. I took the moment to steady my breathing, knowing Bella was getting closer to me. Colleen smiled graciously at Makin as she passed, and from the look of her face, I could tell that she was one of those girls wishing it were her and him next to take on a day like today, and by the look of his face, I could tell he was no where close to being ready for that, though he seemed to care for her.

I chuckled under my breath. It amazed me how different some men and women looked at things.

She took her place on the third step, closest to my right.

After her, was the little girl that would have the ability to steal my heart if Bella hadn't done it. In her long gown, that seemed to gather a few of the flowers on the sidewalk since it was about an inch too long, Alyssa threw the petals of calla-lilies, carnations, and roses high in the sky. A few times, her walk went a little to the right or the left, because she was paying more attention to where they fell than the path in front of her. She giggled as she passed Makin in the isle and shyly waved to him. He waved back, smiling. I'm sure he was just happy she acknowledged him being there, instead of charing off for her mother.

The song broke into an acoustic bridge. She arrived to the end of the isle, and her mom held out her hands for her. Alyssa slipped her shoulders beneath her mom's hands, and turned my way, looking up at me with a wide smile. I gave her a wink, and she giggled, clutching on her mom's hand, careful not to drop her basket with her other hand.

All of family and friends rose to their feet.

On perfect timing with the lyrics, where the last verse came on, I looked up, to find Bella standing in the middle of the circle filled with petals, where all of the marbled brick sidewalks met. Her mother to her right, clutching her free hand. Her hair down, with long, round, bouncy curls in multi-directions, a few bangs swept b out of her face and teased at her crown.

Her dress was nothing I had expected her to wear. It fit her perfect body -- every inch of her body -- in the most delicious way. Snug. Strapless. Ivory and lace. Tender pink bow below her breasts. Bouquet of cream colored, mini-calla lilies in front of her stomach. She was everything I'd imagined and much more. She was Heavenly.

She was the most purest, honest, beautiful creature I'd ever set eyes on. I knew right then and there that I did not deserve her, nor would I ever._ Who on this Earth would be able to deserve something as delicately precious as this angel in front of me?_

I almost couldn't take in the dress, as my eyes barely left her face. My heart, however, seemed to somehow beat both faster and slower simultaneously.

I didn't bother trying to figure out how to breathe as I watched her come slowly toward me. I knew it was hopeless.

My lips parted, my eyes glistened in amazement... I was stunned in the most _perfect _way. Locked in a time where nothing else mattered and it all faded away... All but her and myself, and this isle of petals between us, getting shorter every second.

I struggled to keep my balance, and as soon as she _really _came to focus, when the sun's rays met the ocean behind me, a breathtaking smile stretched along her face, mirroring my own. I could read her eyes like the back of my hand. She was relieved, as was I. Relieved that we could see each other. Relieved to be standing here. Relieved that nothing was fighting to come between us this time.

The music came to a tender end, and she beamed up at me with pride, holding onto a tearful Renee's hand. Her eyes, like mine and the majority of the people here today, were misty and beautiful. Tender. Sure. I could see her starting to bounce in place, and chuckled slightly. I knew she was trying to stand still, and that all she wanted to do was to leap in my arms.

That's all I wanted too.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

_This is it._

_This is it, this is it, this is it... _

My hands were shaking.

Oh hell, _all _of my limbs were shaking. I was a trembling, jittery, excited, anxious mess.

After the song ended, the rest of the ceremony was surrounded with wymsical piano melodies of one of Edward's favorite composers, _Yiruma_.

I clutched my mom's hands, looking up at Edward's beautiful face. Never in my entire life had I seem someone look more heavenly than he did right this second. Black satin tuxedo, white collared button undershirt, black bow-tie beneath his chin. His copper hair fixed my most favorite way, spiky and kept, but messy at the same time. His dazzling, emerald-green eyes focused entirely on me. And those full lips of his, parted as he breathed...

It seemed to take forever to get to the end of the isle, but now that I was here, I was a hundred percent ready to jump in his arms and give myself away to him.

Pastor Joe cleared his throat, and smiled from Edward, down to me, "Welcome, family, friends and loved ones. We gather here today to celebrate the wedding of Isabella and Edward. You have come here to share in this formal commitment they make to one another, to offer your love and support to this union, and to allow Isabella and Edward to start their married life together surrounded by the people dearest and most important to them. So welcome to one and all, who have traveled from near and far. Isabella and Edward thank you for your presence here today, and now ask for your blessing, encouragement, and lifelong support, for their decision to be married."

He looked past Edward's beautiful form, down toward Renee and I, "Who supports this woman in her marriage to this man?"

My mother, half choked up, in a voice that was barely a whisper, sniffled and replied, "Her fathers and I do."

I shut my eyes, not knowing she was going to say that. I clutched her hand for a moment, willing in my mind to somehow tell her without words that I was okay and that I was happy, just in case she had any last doubts. To tell her that all though she was giving me away, she didn't have to fully let me go. I'd always be her daughter, thick and thin.

I listened as people shuffled, and opened my eyes, to find Edward, one foot down on the step beneath him, gentle left hand extended out to me.

Suddenly, all my anxiety went away, as my mom placed my hand into his.

And then, as soon as we touched, and the people behind us sat, and I joined the steps he balanced himself on... I was home.

A wave of emotions hit over me, and I couldn't help the tears forming in my eyes as I gazed across from me to this admirable man. Joy. Love. Happiness. Hope. Fullfilment. Completion.

The both of us blew out a gust of wind as his warm, large hands carefully held my clammy, tiny ones, and we smiled across to each other.

"Isabella and Edward have asked for me to say a few untraditional readings, which I have joyfully accepted in doing so. The first one I'd like to mention is a tiny segment from _Shakespeare's Sonnet 116_. It reads, '_Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments. Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds, or bends with the remover to remove: Oh, no! It is an ever-fixed mark. That looks on tempests and is never shaken; it is the star to every wandering bark, whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken. Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks within his bending sickle's compass come; love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom. If this be error and upon me proved, ...I never writ, nor no man ever loved_.'"

Edward's thumb brushed along the top of my hand, and I squeezed him tight. Neither of us broke the gaze to look at our guests, or toward our pastor.

Joe continued, "Marriage is perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure of human relationships. No ceremony can create your marriage; only you can do that – through love and patience; through dedication and perseverance; through talking and listening, helping and supporting and believing in each other; through tenderness and laughter; through learning to forgive, learning to appreciate your differences, and by learning to make the important things matter, and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you make to stand together as partners. Do you agree?"

"Yes," we answered at the same time.

"Before they take their vows, both Isabella and Edward have personal letters, meant only for the other, and would like to read these words in front of their family and friends now. Isabella, you may go first."

I bit my lip, trying not to hyperventilate, as I turned behind me. Not letting go of one of Edward's hands, I used my free one to pass my bouquet to Colleen, and exchange it for my tiny note, which she had tucked away inside of her bouquet. She gave me a wink before I turned back to face Edward.

He smiled down to me.

I fumbled with the paper, praying I wouldn't drop it, or if I did, that I could remember what I wrote. Again, his thumb brushed along mine... and I quickly realized that I didn't need the paper. Looking into his eyes, I knew I had the words memorized.

I smiled back up to him, shaking, "Edward... Sometimes I wish that I could take us away from all of the pain and weight of this world. There have been moments where I've felt lost and out of touch, but as soon as I see your smile, the world slows down to it's steady, natural pace. I know that I'm not the easiest person to live with. I know my insecurities can be a hassle. But... it is because my heart is so _strong _and _overpowered _in love with you, that it _terrifies _me. Earlier today, I told my sister that I was more than willing to give my heart away, the full hundred percent of it, to you, and I am ready to do that now."

I blew out a gust of wind, steadying myself, ignoring the teardrop that fell from my eyes, and the sensational way my heart clutched inside of me, "See... There has only been one time in my entire life where I can recall actually feeling _free_... and...the funny and somewhat ironic thing _is_, that freedom came to me whenever I was willingly _attached _to you. You have shown me that I don't have to change who I am and what I believe in, for someone to love me unconditionally. You h-have..."

Feeling myself start to choke up, I readjusted my stance and blinked the tears away, so I could look up at him. His smile was reassuring as he brushed the inside of my palm with his fingertips.

Swallowing and smiling back, I continued, "You have shown me... that you and I can live in a separate world from everyone else, ...in a dream world... where either time can stand _perfectly _still for as long as we want, or when time has been none of the essence, ...like when we were apart. In all honesty, I admire you, and have since I was fifteen years old. Not just your youth, or your smarts, or your goals you have set... I admire you for your passion, for your courage, for your honesty, as well as for your struggles in which you have overcame. Mostly, ...I admire you for never giving up hope, in both me, ...as well as yourself..."

Edward sniffled lightly, but kept himself from breaking down as much as I did.

It took me a few seconds to finish, being so overwhelmed in him.

"The p-past four years of my life have been both a stepping stone in my personal growth, and a retracted path that has thankfully led me back to you. I can proudly stand here today and say that I am accomplished... but my biggest accomplishment has been gaining back your trust. I can... happily stand here in front of my family and friends and tell them that I am strong... but my most content moment of strength has been when I allowed myself to fall into the safety of your arms... And... most important, I can willingly stand here today and tell you that I _know _who I am. I _am _Isabella... and I am now, and have _always _been... only yours."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

_...Wow._

I'm not sure if I had any expectations of what she might say to me, but actually hearing the words she selected... it overwhelmed me.

I smiled, struggling on the inside not to pass out, as the emotions inside of me fought to pour out.

Taking a heavy breath for luck, I clutched Bella's soft hands inside of mine, and arrowed down into her caramel eyes.

She felt relieved, getting her words out. But I felt anxious, suddenly. So I needed to study her eyes, and get lost in them, so that she could pull me through.

Her words, like a tidal wave, covered me and overtook my spirit. All of my reserve had crashed, and I had become vulnerable in an instant.

It's crazy, what true, honest declarations of love can do to a person.

Re-composing myself, I cleared my throat, and gave her a crooked grin. It helped me calm, seeing her breathtaking smile in return.

"If I could have come up with the right words to describe the depth of this sensational feeling that I hold for you, I would have whispered them to you the first time that we met. It was in that very moment, that I believe our hearts knew something that we could not comprehend. Right then and there, I knew that you were a gift graced from God Himself."

She smiled, giddy, of course, because that was my Bella.

I grinned back to her, "If only I had known that you were out there somewhere, I would have begun a search for you long before I met you. I would have crossed the ends of the earth and back. I would have done anything and everything in my power to find you sooner. But, now that I _have _found you, I'll never let you go. Not _this _time."

She bit her lip, squeezing my hands.

"You have constantly showered me with unconditional love and you understand my shortcomings without criticism. You, in all your overwhelming beauty, have changed my life. Because of you, I feel this world is now full of promise. That we don't have to compromise. That every day is worth looking forward to, and that not only does God _exist_... but so does hope, and faith, and the belief in the power of undeniable love... All of these discoveries have been made possible because of who you are and how _irreplaceable _you are to me. There will _never _be another you."

I looked down to her with all of the sincerity that I could show in my eyes, "Bella, you have turned me into a better person, one that I never imagined becoming. You have _saved _me, and I thank you for that. I never thought that I could love someone the way that I love you now. I know you hear this all the time, but I want to tell you again and again, how true I am to you, and how my life will never be the same without you. While you and I were apart, I missed you every single second gone by. Memories of your caring eyes, your sweet voice, and the tenderness in your touch flooded through me... but it never was enough. It wasn't the _real _thing. It wasn't _you_. And now that I have gained it all back, I know with every ounce of my being that I will protect these things that make _you _up. Because you are all that is precious to me."

"...With each passing second, I fall more helplessly and willingly into the endless depths of your spirit. You are always in my prayers and thoughts, even while I am asleep. Everyday that I look at you, it feels as if I am seeing you for the first time... Mesmerized by the light cast behind your hair. Stunned by the way your lashes fall on your face. Entranced by your different smiles, delicate touches, and multiple laughs... Each day God has allowed me to keep you, I realize more and more how rare you are. And I want to spend the rest of my life memorizing every part of you, because I feel that is what you deserve."

She blushed, breaking our stare for a moment, only to quickly grab it back.

"You are the mother of my unborn child. You are the single person that I want to leave this world with, hand in hand. You are the beautiful soul that I want to reach out to when times get hard, and the tender touch I want to consume when the world us you becomes too much for you. I promise to protect you and keep you safe. I promise to take care of you, to shield you from any storms that come our way, in whatever form they may arrive in."

"My love... Your light has been constant presence in my life. Merely _looking _at you is enough to make me feel complete. ...And if I can give you at least half of the love that you have shown me, I will feel like an accomplished man. Because no matter how much I speak or how hard I try to explain this to you, a love like yours holds too much value to put into words. I cherish you and admire you, and am thankful to be yours as well. My love has been built only for you, as _I _exist... _only _for you."

Her shaken hand lifted and she swiped a few tears from her eyes, and cleared her throat, before rounding her shoulders and holding herself steady.

Joe smiled at us, resting a hand on each of our shoulders, "An excerpt from "_The Prophet_" by _Kahil Gibran _reads, '_Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; and to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; to rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; to return home at eventide with gratitude; and then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise on your lips_.' When I listen to the two of you speak, and witness how the two of you look at each other, I have the uttermost fate that God has seen fit to put the two of you in each other's paths. I can see how your souls mirror each other, proving the definition of a soulmate."

"Edward, will you take Isabella, to be your lawfully wedded wife? Will you love her, and care for her, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for all of the days that you shall live?"

I beamed to her, "I will." _God, will I. _

He smiled toward me, "Then Edward, please repeat after me."

After he spoke, I directed my attention back to Bella, "I Edward, take you, Isabella, to be my wife, my constant friend and partner, and my love. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust; one that withstands the tides of time and change, and grows along with us. I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together. I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you. I will join with you in an ongoing struggle to create a world we want to live in, where love and friendship will be recognized and celebrated in all of our many forms. Our home will be a sanctuary and a respite for us and for those whom we cherish. Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally. I promise to cherish you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Pastor Joe turned to me, with warm eyes and a tender smile, "Isabella, will you take Edward, to be your lawfully wedded husband? Will you love him, and care for him, in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for all the days that you shall live?"

"I will." _Absolutely!_

Edward grinned, while I repeated the same vows.

"I Isabella, take you, Edward, to be my husband, my constant friend and partner, and my love. I will work to create a bond of honesty, respect, and trust; one that withstands the tides of time and change, and grows along with us. I vow to honor and respect you for all that you are and will become, taking pride in who we are, both separately and together. I promise to challenge you, and to accept challenges from you. I will join with you in an ongoing struggle to create a world we want to live in, where love and friendship will be recognized and celebrated in all of our many forms. Our home will be a sanctuary and a respite for us and for those whom we cherish. Above all, I will give you my love freely and unconditionally. I promise to cherish you, to care and protect you, to comfort and encourage you, and stay with you, for all eternity."

_All eternity... that was my favorite part. _

Joe grinned, "May I have the rings please?"

I giggled, watching Esme walk Cora and Spendor down the isle; Spendor in a doggy tuxedo t-shirt, Cora wearing a doggy dress. Around their silver collars were our rings, in which Emmett pulled from Cora, and Colleen pulled from Spendor.

Edward grinned at me as he palmed my ring, and instantly, I knew something was up, by the smile he gave.

I tilted my head at him, trying to solve the mystery before it was his time to speak.

"Edward, please place the ring on the tip of Isabella's finger, and repeat after me..."

I gasped as soon as my eyes fell on it, and my hand flew to my mouth.

It wasn't my ring. Not the one that he proposed to me with. Instead, was something equally amazing, but more magnificent, in it's own right. A solitaire square diamond, beautiful flawless finish... it was overwhelmingly perfect. I didn't even have time to comprehend it, as I became swept up in his words.

"Bella, let this ring be a symbol of my faithfulness to you Because it is symmetrical, it signifies the honesty of true love, which has no ending, and no beginning. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that I give you all that I am and ever hope to be. I choose you to be my wife on this day, and forevermore."

I watched in amazement as he slid it on my finger, along with a thin, platinum band, tucked gently beneath the same stone.

"Isabella, please place the ring on the tip of Edward's finger, and repeat after me..."

With trembling hands, Colleen passed to me Edward's ring. Esme helped me pick out the dealer, but the ring was all my selection. Thick, flawless platinum, 18ct, with the middle indented in a thin circle, signifying my everlasting love for him.

Edward smiled as I put it on his finger.

"Edward, let this ring be a symbol of my faithfulness to you Because it is symmetrical, it signifies the honesty of true love, which has no ending, and no beginning. As it encircles your finger, may it remind you always that I give you all that I am and ever hope to be. I choose you to be my husband on this day, and forevermore."

After the rings, Edward and I quickly filled a crystal vase of colored sand from the beach beside us, two hands pouring into one vase, signifying our unity.

"Let us pray. Dear Heavenly Father, as we have witnessed today, Isabella and Edward have chosen their paths to connect in eternity, from this day forth. I pray that you will give them strength when they need it, and understanding where they lack. May you look down upon them and guide them through the light, all the way until the end of all time. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. For if one shall lie down, the other shall rest beside, for together they will keep warm."

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres... Love never fails. And though these three remain: faith, hope and love, know the _greatest _of these... is love."

I smiled as we opened our eyes, and fell into the timeless feel of that moment.

Then Joe quoted our final reading, "From _'Two Fragments' _by Sappho. '_Love holds me captive again, and I tremble with bittersweet longing... As a gale on the mountainside bends the oak tree... I am rocked by my love_."

Edward beamed down to me, and I shuddered slightly. I didn't know he was going to have Pastor Joe quote that. It was one of my favorite sayings.

Pastor Joe turned to Edward, "Hey Edward, are you ready to be married?"

Edward laughed, his smile contagious that it filled the faces of everyone around him, "Yes, Sir, I've been ready."

Joe laughed, patting him on the shoulder. I was thankful he could be our Pastor, since he's been Edward and his family's since before Edward was born.

"By the power vested in me, with God as our Holy witness, I now pronounce you husband and wife. ...Edward, you may kiss your beautiful bride."

I couldn't help but blush and giggle and bounce as his hands found my waist. It felt as if the marble steps beneath us had vanished, and I started to cradle his face, but realized that wouldn't be enough, so I threw my arms around his neck, and slid into him. I felt the warmth from his palms as he pressed into the small of my back, and trembled as soon as I heard him laugh softly, right before our lips touched. His top lip slid between, and his full bottom lip met beneath mine, and then everything went really hazy. With the way his soft mouth formed against mine, brushing along my lips, savoring every inch, a brief touch of the tip of his tongue against mine... this was the best feeling I had ever had. Our first kiss that signified our forever.

I could hear everyone clapping around us, but all I felt was air. That was when I realized he had twisted us around and dipped me. I giggled, brushing my fingers through as he stood us both up right, and it took everything I had not to jump into his arms and hug him.

Pastor Joe laughed as we continued to rub each other's face, not removing from each other's grasp, "I present to you, with great honor, Mr. and Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen."

Everyone rose to their feet and started cheering and clapping amidst wiping tears from their faces. I hadn't even realized that I, too, had tears streaming from my eyes. I felt so elated, like nothing in this entire world come harm us. I held onto Edward with everything I had, as we walked down the marble brick isle full of petals, hand in hand, heart to heart... I was his _wife_.

As soon as we got back to the end of the isle, where the circle met, I jumped into his arms and hugged him. Alyssa walked the dogs down the isle, giggling and bouncing with her flower basket. Emmett and Colleen connected arms next, followed by Dean and Alice, and Paul and Rosalie.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We had to wait for everyone to get inside of our reception tent before we could enter, for Esme and Carlisle wanted to announce us formally again.

Edward and I selected the 'Dream Room' to hold our reception. With it's elegant charm, deco and crown-molded ceilings, and golden chandeliers, it suited Edward's sophistication. With it's secluded area from the rest of the Ritz-Carlton, and it's romantic lighting, it suited my vulnerability. And, with the charming walls, which turned in color from blue to purple as the night progressed, and crystal fixtures, it was a combination of both our tastes.

The rectangle table for our wedding party was placed at the end of the dance floor, and circled tables with white table cloths were to the left and right of the dance floor, facing us. There were huge vases of yellow, white, and cream roses on each table, crystal glasses, candlelight, and silver place settings.

More crystals hanging with notes our guests have left for us, gift cards and whatnot. We registered at quite a few places so families with different financial backgrounds wouldn't have to struggle if they felt the need to purchase us a gift; most registries were more toward the baby and the house we were aiming to purchase together.

Each table had a name so we could have all of friends and family sitting next to each other where they'd like. Each guest received a pink box, with jewelry donated to us, thanks to Esme's friend _Jaque Loed_, who was a dealer overseas. Our five-layer cake sat in front of our table, with blinking glimmer lights around it. I thought it'd be neat to have each layer with a different flavor, so there was red velvet on the bottom, followed by German chocolate, then vanilla, then chocolate, then cherry-sprinkle, then cheesecake on the very top. It was covered in a light, aqua-blue icing. On top that, were hand-crafted white icings, in shapes of stylish daisies, lotus, white lilies, roses, and sea shells.

As you entered the reception hall, to the right was a huge picture of Edward and I taken in the cabin. Rosalie had taken it, and we weren't even aware she had a camera at the time, or was even around us. I'm still to this day not sure how she even took it. It was the day we escaped, and went out in town, to go bowling and to the mall and out to eat and what not. Him in his jacket, looking down to me, and me smiling in thought, in my jacket. But you could tell by the way he was looking down to me and the way I was drifting off... it was kind of sweet, seeing a candid moment like that. All of the signs were right in front of us.

The picture was framed in glass, and had two pens connecting, where all of our guests could write messages to us, and we could hang it in our house.

Everyone was all ready inside and in their spots, with cocktails and beverages served. Edward held my hand and beamed as we entered the reception hall by announcement, to the rising stance of our friends and family's clapping. Instantly we were pulled apart, being directed into the arms of our mothers, then my sister and his dad, then passed from aunt, uncle, grandparent, friend, friend, friend, on and on and on. The both of us had college friends show, as well as a few coworkers. He had Scotty, Andrew, and Jonen, not to mention Aimee, who showed up with what I was assuming to be her fiance or boyfriend or whatever... I couldn't fathom the thoughts of how awkward it'd be if he knew about her and Edward's past... And I had Colleen, of course, and Ryan, my partner show. He didn't come with a date.

Edward found me before we headed toward them. His three co-workers gave him hand shakes and passed me around for a hug, before Edward pulled me to his side, holding me tight. He kissed the side of my head as his friends continued their congratulations and their teasing, which I couldn't help but laugh at. Some of them were pretty funny, if I did say so myself. After that, we headed toward Aimee, in her green, strapless dress, with her blond hair flowing, and big eyes... For a very split second, I was irritated with her beauty, but then I quickly realized what today meant, and all of that bitterness left just as quickly as it came.

She gave Edward a hug while her date tucked his hands in his pockets and gave me a nod of congrats. "Edward, I'm so happy for you," she said, rubbing his back.

I beamed as Edward pulled me in front of him and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on the top of my head, "Aimee, you remember my beautiful wife, Bella, right?"

"Of course," she smiled, holding out her hand, "you make a beautiful bride, Bella. Congratulations."

I shook her hand and leaned into Edward, "thank you very much."

"Edward, this is Dale, my boyfriend," she said, turning and gently pulling the cute guy toward Edward. "Dale, this is Edward, or Doctor Cullen, my, uh, mentor."

Edward laughed under his breath, and they shook hands. I steadied myself, preparing for a fight. Luckily, her boyfriend seemed utterly clueless of his and her past, as I kind-of wish I still was... that was, until Ryan came up and pulled me out of Edward's arms, and into a hug.

"Hey Ryan," I giggled, "thank you for coming."

"You make a stunning bride," he said, then teasingly mumbled to where only I could hear, "shame I didn't ask to you first."

Edward reached out and grabbed my hand and I jumped a bit, before leaning completely into him, "Thanks Ryan, I'm very happy."

Ryan shook Edward's hand, and for a moment, I was taken back about how they were sort of alike, though Edward's engaging beauty had everything over Ryan's 'sexy, bad boy' image. They were both tall, disheveled hair, facial hair, mysterious eyes, full lips... It was easy to realize why I chose Jasper over Ryan before. Ryan had too much similarities and I couldn't be reminded of them at that time.

After everyone greeted us, we sat down, and it was time for the speeches once the servers had everyone's meals in place.

Emmett was up first, and I was laughing before he even started speaking. We all knew how he was. Edward leaned toward my chair, his hand on the back of my neck beneath my hair. I leaned toward him as well, absorbing his warmth in the air-conditioned room.

Emmett rose to his feet, plinking his fork on the very expensive crystal glasses Edward's grandfather Victor purchased specifically for our wedding party. I think the entire room cringed when he did it, afraid it'd break. He adjusted his scarf and grinned, taking in the entire, full compacity of the room, "Hey everyone, how are we all doing tonight?"

Everyone, of course, cheered and replied.

"In case by chance you've been living under a rock and don't know who I am, my name is Emmett McCarty. I have to tell you, I've been waiting for this day for a long time... Not only because I get to steal Cullen's thunder for a while and have all of your attention, but because Edward _specifically _said that I _am _the best man..." He turned to Edward and beamed at him, "It's about time you recognized, asshole."

Edward laughed, shaking his head.

"I want to thank everyone for coming out tonight and supporting the two of them. I must admit, some of you even clean up nice... Carlisle, I noticed you're not wearing the penny loafer's you've donned all week, so props to you. Now, Esme, Edward's mother, pulled me not-so-graciously to the side before this and threatened my life if I didn't thank all of you for the gifts purchased to Bella and Edward, on behalf of them... my one condition was that I get to keep the most expensive gift of the night. I'm serious, that's the only way I'd do it. I don't care if it's a blender, I get the most expensive. I see you, Aunt Suzy. We all know how you like to give people blenders!"

He laughed, shaking his head, "Hey, Renee and Esme, Victor, this is a great party we've got going here. I bet the three of you are just as surprised as I am to find just how many of our friends and family are willing to travel out of state just to get free food and endless open-bar. I know, it stunned me too. I mean, of course, _I_ was going to come. I saw the signs for free beer three hours away. I was on a roll! But... uh..." He chuckled while people whistled to him, "You know, Edward once revealed to me that his second-grade nickname was carebear, because he had such a, quote, '_caring heart'_...."

Edward hid his face in my shoulder, embarrassed, shaking his head.

"I think they all called it brown-nosing, but that's just me. Anyhoo, I always secretly wondered if the nickname meant he had gay notions -- especially if you look at the way he dresses and how he's into expensive things... So Bella, I have to say thank you for setting me straight in that, because I was honestly a little worried! I must admit, Edward did have a few loves before you Bella. There was Valerie, his first dog, and Monica, his forth grade teacher, who he said he had a crush on... Not to mention whiskey, cognac, cigarettes, and his hidden porn stash.. _Pssstttt_... Bella, check in his closet for a box marked '_High School stuff'_.. You'll find it..."

I had never seen Edward's face so red in my entire life, as everyone, including myself couldn't help but laugh.

"Hey, everyone, doesn't Bella look sensational tonight? Absolutely stunning. Edward, you just look stunned -- or is it stoned -- because sometimes, it's really hard to tell. No, I'm just kidding, I'm kidding! But, in all things serious, Dale Carnegie once said, '_Don't ask a man what's important to him. Watch how he spends his time_.' And, I have watched Edward spend his time, and I can see what's important to him... and that is you, Bella. You have made him so happy... given him a new focus... a new appreciation for love and life. You know, everything will work out as long as Edward remembers to remind her of those three little, special words filled with meaning. Come on guys, what are they?"

"I love you," the crowd shouted.

"No, idiots. It's, '_you're right, Bella'_," he chuckled. "I'm serious, from what I've heard, it saves marriages. Now, I want everyone, or at least of those who still can, to stand up. Here's to the two of you. May you have all that you desire... and Bella, if he gets out of line, I've got a book full of things you can use against him for blackmail. Cheers! To Bella and Carebear!"

"To Bella and Carebear!" Everyone shouted with a laugh, as we took a sip.

I cradled Edward's face in mine, and kissed his cheek, "I like your nickname," I whispered. "It's cute."

He blushed, shutting his eyes, "so embarrassing."

After Emmett, it was my maid of honor, Colleen's turn. She bit her lip, a little nervous. She wasn't one for big speeches. "Good evening. For those of you who don't know who I am, my name is Colleen, and I am the very proud best friend of our beautiful bride, Bella. While I am not as comical as Emmett may be, I can admit to being a hopeless romantic. When I look at th bride and groom, I feel a whirlwind of emotions. Bella and Edward are a very rare match, and because of this, any emotions they feel, we feel it too... Their passion for each other, the smiles on their face when they look into each other's eye's... they reflect that love... It's quite magical, when you think about it."

She smiled, turning toward Edward and I, "I never knew Edward before he and Bella got back together, so I can't give you any horror stories on him, but I can say that he's perfect for Bella. He's carefree, he's charming, intelligent beyond his years, and has a great sense of humor... Not to mention, a romantic. After the dinner rehearsal last night, I pulled him to the side and asked him to give me a few things about Bella that he loved the most... and he said that it was the little things that make her so special... like the colors of her many blushes, or the different speeds that her eyelashes flutter, or the way her heart dances whenever he's holding her in his arms a certain way... Not to mention her several smiles -- I think he said eleven, to be exact -- that he seems to have memorized."

"To this day, Bella is the only person who can make me cry for laughing so hard. Bella and I have a lot of fun together. She's always there for me when things get tough, and we have an understanding that goes beyond words. We don't judge, and we don't have to explain ourselves... So when Edward came back into Bella's life, Bella didn't have to really say much to make it clear that Edward was THE ONE. All of the signs were in place... in special looks, or the way her face lit up whenever he was around... I have a lot of embarrassing and funny stories I could tell you about her, but since this is her special day, I'll leave it alone for now."

"But there is a few secrets that I have heard about marriage, that I thought I'd share with you. If you're clever, you'll always have the last word, but if you're _very_ clever, you won't ever use it. When you're wrong, admit it, and when you're right, stay quiet. Separately you two are remarkable people, but together, you are complete. I read somewhere that love is like a roller coaster. As you two sit side by side, remember to scream at the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh through the loops, and enjoy every single twist and turn. For the ride is much better when you share it together. Please raise your glasses for Bella and Edward. We're here because we knew that you two would be here one day... and you two are here because you knew it as well. We love you. Cheers."

I stood from my seat and hugged her, whispering, "I love you, thank you so much for that."

"I love you too."

After that, Carlisle stood to his feet, and stuck his hands in his pockets, "Your mothers and I also wanted to give a toast, if you don't mind...?"

Edward stood beside me now at the end of the table and pulled me into his arms, giving his father a gentle nod.

"Well," Carlisle began, "I'm going to keep it short and sweet. My greatest wish for the two of you is that through the years, your love for each other will deepen and grow constantly, and never diminish with time. Years from now, I hope that you will look back on this day, your wedding day, as the day you loved each other the _least_... So you'll see how far you two have come. I wish the very best. My love for the both of you."

"Thank you," we said, raising our glass to him.

Next, was my mom, in all her tearful beauty. She cleared her throat, smiling over from me, to Edward, "Today has been overwhelming for me, as you can imagine... I'm not going to say a lot, because I'm not sure how well I'll hold up if I do, but I will say that the only thing Charlie and Phil would have wanted was for Bella to be loved unconditionally, and to always be protected. I know without a doubt in my mind, that Edward will come through with these requests. You can tell by the way he looks at my daughter... I trust that this relationship will last. I love you both."

I wanted to give her a hug, but feared she'd break down and never let me go, so I just blew her a kiss, which she blew one back.

Next, was Edward's mother, Esme. She brushed her hands down her skirt, smiling over at us, "My babies... Look at you. So stunning, what an incredible couple... I only bring advice to you, which was passed to Carlisle and I many years ago. Take each day, and cherish your time together. Make it count. Love one another and stand together, no matter what circumstances you are trapped under. Put your love and your family first, and your job and hobbies second... May your love be like the wind... Strong enough to move the clouds, but soft enough to never hurt. So, here's my wish to you... I want you two to love, to laugh, to cry tears of joy, and find that happily ever after that you deserve. Cheers."

"Cheers," I looked up to Edward and his hand found my chin, and he gave me a tender kiss.

After that, Edward's grandfather took control, telling everyone to eat and whatnot. He placed three huge bowls on our wedding party table, and stuck a wad of cash in each one, and directed the rest of our friends toward the bowls, if they felt the need to donate.

We didn't get interrupted during the food portion. Everyone talked amongst themselves and around their area, while Edward and I kissed a lot and fed each other our portions. I didn't drink wine, but didn't mind as he did. I stuck to sparkling cider.

It was the time where we were also given our marriage certificate, signed by Pastor Joe. Pictures snapped while we signed them, and it felt both amazing and weird, to write 'Isabella Marie Cullen'. But it looked beautiful on print, I must say.

While we ate, he tenderly rubbed along my stomach and reminded me every two seconds how stunning he thought I was, or how thankful he was that we were married, or how he couldn't wait now that we get to spend the rest of our lives together.

After dinner was dessert, and we got to cut the cake. I tried my hardest to narrow my eyes and Edward and plead with my lashes for him not to smash it into my face... but as soon as I saw the look in his eyes, I knew it was hopeless. The next thing I knew, the top layer of our cake -- the cheesecake part -- was all over my face, clumped in his hair, smeared down his jaw, along my collar bone, and hanging from his right shoulder of his tux. I had cake up my nose, cake in a part of my ear. During our battle, I almost knocked over the entire table and the cake, because my heels slipped on the food that hit the ground. Our friends and families were probably close to peeing their pants, watching us two stubborn people battle it out with the top layer of our cake. I never saw so many flashbulbs go off from their cameras.

Alice and Rosalie quickly drug me to the bathroom to clean it all off of me and re-fix my makeup and hair quickly. By the time I got back, Edward looked like he hadn't had cake dripping from his chin at all. He was perfect, all over again.

_God, was he sexy._

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Bella came back to me, looking as exquisite as ever.

The room dimmed into a golden shimmer toward the cleaned dance floor, and I held my hand to her, which she gladly accepted.

More consuming emotions swarmed between us as I took her in my arms in the middle of the dance floor. It was a tough decision, but I was glad with the song we picked_. _

It represented every part of our relationship. Where we are now. Where we've been. How we lost each other, and went to other people, only to find we weren't happy without the other person. How we fought and won each other back. How we've accepted each other with all of our faults. How we look at each other now. And, most important, what we'd do for each other.

Keeping her as close as possible, I place my palms to the small of her back and pressed her into me. Her face found my chest and she breathed me in, her hands sliding slowly up my arms, and around my neck. I felt her trembling in my hands, and knew she was trying to keep herself from crying.

_Look into my eyes... you will find... what you mean to me. Search your heart. Search your soul... and when you find me there, you'll search no more. _

"It's okay," I whispered delicately in her ear. "It's okay to cry."

"I know," she said, pulling her face back. Her eyes were glistened with beautiful crystal tears, and her chin quivered as she clutched me in her hands, "I'm just crying because I'm happy... Overwhelmed."

"I know the feeling," I said, placing my lips to her forehead. I ignored all flashes around us, everything but the lyrics and her. "Can you believe we made it?"

_Don't tell me, it's not worth trying for. Can't tell me, it's not worth dying for... You know it's true... Everything I do... I do it for you._

She sniffled, pulling my neck down toward her. I rested my forehead to hers as we swayed beneath the golden lights.

_Look into your heart... you will find... there's nothing there to hide. Take me as I am. Take my life. I will give it all, I would sacrifice. _

I brushed my fingertips along her chin and raised her up, pressing my lips to hers tenderly. I felt her face damp from her tears, and swiped them away with my fingers while I continued to kiss her.

_Don't tell me, it's not worth fighting for. I can't help it, there's nothing I want more... You know it's true... Everything I do, I do it for you._

She stood on her tiptoes, and hugged me for a moment, caught up in the moment. I lifted her gently off the floor, and placed her feet on top of mine, so we could dance and hug at the same time.

_There's no love... like your love. And no other.. could give more love. There's no where... unless you're there. All the time... All the way._

Bella buried her face into the crook of my neck, sniffling, batting her wet lashes on my skin. I could feel how tight she was gripping my jacket, my shoulders. My hands roamed around her back, and since she was on my toes, I found it easier to push my own face into her shoulder. I too, became trapped within the feelings of the moment, and had to pull myself together a little. I'm sure she could feel it in the way that I held her to me, I was just thankful for this day...

_...Look into your heart, babe..._

She pulled back a bit, her hands finding my hair. I smiled to her and tilted my head, lost in the depths of her beauty. It took me two seconds to lean in and kiss her. I didn't care who was around us, it did not stop me from showing her how I felt in that kiss... Brush of my lips, taste of my tongue, whatever it took.

_Oh, you can't tell me it's not worth trying for. I can't help it, there's nothing I want more... Yeah, I would fight for you. I'll lie for you. Walk the wire for you. Yeah, I'd die for you..._

Bella sighed as we broke for air, but then pulled me back to her, savoring this moment as we kissed again.

_...You know it's true. Everything I do... ...I do it for you._

As '_Everything I Do' _by _Bryan Adams _came to a close, we didn't stop kissing. Once the DJ, my college buddy Ben, figured out that we weren't going to stop, he quickly changed it to another song and invited the rest of our friends to come out and dance, this time to an older, fast one_, "Now That We Found Love" _by _Heavy D & The Boys_.

I lifted Bella in my arms, pushing her into me as her head lifted above mine, and we continued kissing. Everyone around us was moving fast and laughing, while we remained in our own, private, safe bubble of romance. It was nice, having the difference.

Eventually, we had to break, and toward the end of the song, they announced it was time for me to dance with my mom. I felt nervous leaving Bella and doing this, since she didn't have a dad to dance to at the same time. But she told me it was fine, and insisted I do it, and said she was going to dance with her mom the next song.

My mom met me in the middle of the dance floor, and placed her right hadn't into my left and her other on my shoulder. I smiled down to her, as _Lynyrd Skynyrd's 'Simple Man'_ played.

"Edward," she began, smiling up at me, "you look so handsome. I'm so proud of you."

"Oh yeah?" I beamed, as we glided around the dance floor.

"Of course," she replied. "You went out and did what was intended for you to do. You'll be twenty-three this year, in June. You have a medical career you're aiming for... You have your own place, and are about to buy a house. You have your own car... pay your own bills. You're getting ready to inherit that hospital here in a couple of years... You're about to be a daddy to a beautiful baby boy or girl... But most of all, because you knew you were going to marry Bella. You told me that when you were fifteen, and again when you were eighteen. And even though I fought against it _stubbornly _back then... I knew it was going to happen. I could see it in your eyes, that raw passion you held for her. I knew that someday, maybe not at eighteen, but someday, you two would cross paths again... As your mother, I wanted to protect you from getting hurt, just as I promised you I would. But when it boils down to it, I just want you to be happy... and you are... as I said, I'm proud of you. Do you know why they call it a 'pursuit of happiness'?"

I shrugged my shoulders, spinning us around slowly.

"Because most people never find it. They just search for it. But the two of you, you seem to have it. That's incredible to witness."

I kissed the side of her head and gave her a hug, "I just want to thank you for being there for me. Not just as my mama, but as one of my best friends too. Even when dad or anyone else is being a dick, you're at least there for me. I owe you a lot."

"Oh honey," she said, brushing my hair, "I love you so much. And so does your father, don't think any different for a second. He just has a hard time handling things when it comes to you... You're all we've got, you know? You're it for us now, and he just wants you to have the best of everything you can grasp. He wants good things for you."

"I know," I exhaled. "I just want him to understand that I'm doing the right thing... With Bella, getting married, having this baby, and just living my life. I know I'm doing the right thing, I feel it."

"Well then you must go with it, no matter what is placed in your path, honey. It'll all work out. It all ready is. Now we just gotta get that baby here."

I pulled back a little so I could look into her eyes, "how are you feeling about the baby, mama? Seriously... since, you know, with my sister's pas-"

"That's _my _water and bridge mixture, honey. Not yours and Bella's. This baby is a miracle from God... you'll never find anything more amazing then the moment you become a parent. Of course, you'll still hopefully look at Bella the way that you do now... but your heart, it will grow, and learn to love a child just as much..."

"I all ready love our baby," I whispered with a smile. "It's crazy... but every time I see Bella, I think about the baby, and what she's doing while she carries it inside of her... It's like, this light I saw behind her grew even brighter... She has so much beauty, and our child is going to be just like her, I think. I hope and pray for it. I'm always touching and rubbing her stomach... trying to even out my love all ready, so she knows she's not forgotten, but the baby knows that I'm there as well..."

"That's all you can do honey. Just love them both. They'll return it. I promise."

After our dance, I sat between her and my dad, and watched as Bella danced with her mom to _'I Loved Her First' _by _Heartland_. It was intense to watch the emotions across their faces as they danced. They didn't speak much, both too caught up in the loss of Charlie and Phil. But they'd look at each other and smile through their tears, and I felt proud of Renee for her strength as she held Bella in her arms. Just six or so weeks ago, she was a crumbled mess on the floor... but now she stood tall, and radiant, just as her daughter did... until the second verse.

As the second verse of the song came on, I noticed them stop dancing, both overwhelmed. Bella's hands were trembling as she wiped tears, and Renee covered her face with both her hands. I started to stand, but my dad got to them before I did.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"I'm sorry," my mom sobbed, her hands trembling over her face. "I'm so sorry sweetie."

"It's okay," I sniffled, throat tightening, "we don't have to finish."

As we started to walk off, a hand found my arm, and we stopped. I turned, finding Carlisle, face calm.

"H-Hey..." I said, trying to see what he was doing.

"Renee," Carlisle said, rubbing her back, "if you don't mind... I'll finish the dance for you, if you can't. After all, she is my daughter as well."

"Yes, yes, please," Renee said, giving him a hug, "plus I knew Charlie and Phil would love that... especially with you being Phil's best friend and all."

I don't know why, but dancing with Carlisle poured more tears from me than it did with my mom... Maybe because he was a dad. Maybe because he was Edward's dad. Maybe because he knew me back when my mom was with Charlie, or became Phil's best friend after Edward and I got together. Maybe because he just claimed me as his daughter now...

I sobbed, sucking in air as he spun me around.

"Bella, how are you holding up?" he whispered, brushing my hair off my shoulder.

I shrugged, unable to speak.

He squeezed me tight, hugging as we danced, "I understand how hard this must be for you... I'm proud of you and Renee for coming out here."

"I-I wanted to," I said through a stutter, "it was my idea... but it's hard. I miss my dad. And Phil."

"I know sweetie, but I know that they just wanted you to be happy, and protected... And I know we all had our problems toward the end there, but that's because we love the two of you so much. You're their only child, and Edward is mine and Esme's. We weren't seeing how our families were going to be bonded for life, we were only seeing the hardships that the two of you went through... and it wasn't fair to you guys. And I'm sorry for that."

I shook my head, wiping my face, "you don't have to apologize about that again. We forgive you guys. We know how it looked, how it surprised you guys. But it's in the past."

"For the record," he said gently, pulling back so he could look down to me, "Phillip and I used to go fishing on Saturday's, when we both had time to do it, and we'd talk about things... about our families and whatnot. And he said to me that he would put a hundred bucks on the table that you and Edward were going to get married. Of course, I disagreed, thinking the two of you were too young, because I was shallow at the time... but he was honest, despite his worries that Edward would hurt you again. And he was right. He had that instinct."

I shivered, pushing my face against his arm so I would stop crying, "I wish I was dancing with him."

"I know you do sweetheart... I hope I'm a good third-best."

"The best third-best ever," I lightly giggled.

"I'm proud of you, Bella. I know they are too."

"Thank you," I said, as the song came to an end. I stood on my tiptoes and kissed his cheek, "for accepting me, as well. In Edward's life."

"I'd only accept you now that I've seen his happiness."

"That means a lot."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

More dances occurred after that.

Edward danced with my mom, to, "_Forever" _by _Ben Harper_, and I danced with his mom to "_Stay With You" _by _John Legend_... not exactly lyrical songs you wanted to dance to with your mothers but they were slow and sweet, to say the least.

We had our wedding party dances, to "_Sexy Love" _by _Ne-Yo_, and "_Comedown" _by _Bush._

Then we had two dollar dances, one slow, to '_Someone Like You' _by _Van Morrisson_, and one fast, to '_Rockin' That Thing' _by _The Dream_. They were fun because we were getting paid to dance with our friends and family, and kind of scandalous, when we got paired up with Ryan and Aimee at the same time. Edward looked over at me and we both hesitated for a moment, then we started laughing. _What were the odds._

Ryan was a blast as The Dream played in the background. "Wanna give them a show?" he asked, nudging his head toward Aimee.

"No," I elbowed his ribs, narrowing my eyes at him, "you weren't even supposed to know about that. I don't know why I even told you."

"Because I'm your partner and friend, and we work long hours, and shit comes out," he said, spinning me around so he could press himself into me a bit.

I blushed, shaking my head, "you're nuts, do you know that?"

"It's okay to be a bit nuts," at times.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep your hands where my _husband _can see them."

"I can't make no promises," he teased, playing with my hair as he danced behind me.

I caught Aimee and Edward. Edward was respectful, one hand on her back, the other hanging to his side. He'd insisted several times that she had no feelings for him, and maybe I was just being silly because I hated anyone who had any type of relationship with him other than myself, but she just gave me a bad vibe. Sure, she was always sweet during my doctor's appointments, and never called or texted him unless it was to bring him into work... but... Maybe I was just being stupid.

"So what did he ever see in her?" Ryan whispered into my right ear. "She's kind of young and child-looking. Chubby cheeks."

"She does not have chu-" I giggled, but he cut me off.

"Please, Bella. She looks twelve. You... on the other hand, you ahve all the right equipment. But her... nothing. She looks like a vacuum, the way her mouth opens. You could fit a hose in there... which is probably why he liked hooking up with her."

"Ugh, that's disgusting, shut up," I said, turning around and pushing him back a bit.

"My bad, my bad," he laughed, stepping toward me, "I'm sorry."

"You're not forgiven," I teased. "Now unless you want to hand over more money, your song is over."

"Awe come on, I don't get an encore? I flew all the way out here."

"Gotta pay for it."

"I'll pay all night, but I don't think-"

"Hey, Danvers," Edward said, cutting us off and slipping between us.

I noticed the grins on both of their faces, but the way they messaged each other with their eyes. Competition.

And for shits and giggles, Edward made _his _point crystal clear when he slid his hand down my body and cupped a hand full of my ass, and said, "I got it from here. Thanks for keeping my wife occupied for me."

"Anytime," Ryan said, winking at me, before Edward spun me around and away from him.

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his neck, "you're so obvious."

"Can't help it," he kissed my cheek. "There isn't a thing he can do now. You're _mine_."

He growled in my ear playfully, sending shivers down my spine.

"That I am," I said, playing with the hair on the back of his neck.

After a while, we did the garter removal and bouquet toss.

Edward and I decided to just make it as anyone who wasn't married _had _to get up, instead of anyone without a date.

And I couldn't believe how excited people got over these things! Scrambling over people, just to get closer.

I was blushing up a storm as they pulled out the chair for me to sit in, while '_Gonna Fly Now', _the champion theme song to _Rocky _played in the background.

All of his college friends, his groomsmen, his work buddies were front row center, along with his sexy but still sity-nine year old grandfather Victor, shouting, "DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!"

"Be nice," I shouted over the music as he walked around me.

All he did was show me a full mouth of perfect white teeth and give me a wink.

_Oh God._

Then his friend, our DJ Ben, told Edward he was going to have to work for my garter, by dancing for it.

Of course, that made all of his guy friends jump up and down in anticipation, cheering and shouting and encouraging him to "Get nasty with her!" which put the fear of Christ in me.

Them encouraging him was never a good thing when it came to my virtue, I'm sure.

The next song came on was worse, "_Right Round" _by _Flo Rida. _I blushed as the lyrics of, _"You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down, down." _came on, being that we were in front of his parents, and my mom, and his grandfather.

I knew he was going to show off and make me blush as hard as he possibly could.

Holding my breath, I watched as he spun away from me and threw his hands in the air, getting our crowded room to cheer even more than they all ready were. All of his friends joined in, jumping and chanting, looking sexy in their tux' as they swung their arms and fists around, cheering him on and whistling.

"Work for it Edward," Ben reminded him. "Go get 'em tiger. Bust a move."

Edward laughed and headed my way.

He straddled over my left leg as the verse passed and the chorus came on, and keeping his eyes on me, started to unbutton his jacket. I laughed, trying not to cover my face, as he shrugged the coat off and started spinning it around his head as he pushed his hips toward me with the beat.

Then he jumped back and spun around, so he could booty dance against me. Somehow he managed to climb on my lap, in a reverse cow-girl position, and lower to put his hands on the ground, and practically hump my lap.

His friends, some of them were falling on the ground in laughter as he got back up and then dropped his ass to the ground and brought it back up in front of my face. Then he knocked off the suspenders and let them hang, spun around, and started to straddle my lap again, this time, both legs. I thought the girls were going nuts, as they screamed while he gyrated above me. I couldn't help it. I covered my face. I couldn't stop blushing.

"Work it _more _Edward!" Ben shouted, turning the music up as the bridge finished. "Make Bella want to give it to you... all.... night... long!"

The music slowed and Edward did more funny booty dances, rocking his hips above me. The song quickly changed to the seductive, raspyness that is '_Bad To The Bone' _by _'George Thorogood'. _Then his friends called him over, and he motioned to me with his finger 'one sec' as he ran over there. I watched as they all whispered in his ear, and the evil grin that smeared across his face as he licked his lips.

I shut my eyes, praying he didn't do something _too _obnoxious in front of our mom's. Being pregnant, they _obviously _knew we were having sex and all. I mean, I told my mom I wasn't a virgin since college, and anyone who knows how sexy Edward is can tell he isn't... BUT I'd rather not have sexual feelings from whatever he was about to do to me, in _front _of all of them... That would be bad... and awkward.

Edward walked around me slowly, eating up all of the attention and cheers he was getting as he taunted me with suspending this embarrassment.

Then, he headed back to his friends, and all of them pushed him onto the ground. I covered my mouth, trying ot figure out what happened, and then shivered as I watched him use his feet to slide himself toward me, on his back across the floor. Again, his friends were on the ground with laughter. I'm sure my face couldn't get any redder as he slid his head and most of his upper body beneath my tight dress. Don't ask me how, only he can do things like that.

I covered my face, feeling his teeth gently nip up my left leg, past my knee, past my inner thigh... going... going... he used his nose, grazing along the garter, then licked beneath it, before pulling up with his teeth. He twisted his body around to where he was facing me and slowly pulled himself back down... He finally came out of my dress, garter between his teeth. He winked as he pulled it out from his mouth and spun it around his finger. Then, somehow managing to avoid all of his jumping friends, he shot it over their heads, and straight to Ryan in the back of the room.

I shook my head at him, unable to stop smiling. I knew he did that on purpose. More points to make clear to him and all.

Ben let me off easier, not making me work for anything, as he put on '_Ladies Night' _by _Kool & The Gang_. All of my girlfriends from school and work, as well as Rosalie, Alice, and Colleen came forth, shaking their booties and clapping their hands above their heads.

I gave them a little show, swaying my hips as I waited for the go. Then, on the count of three, I tossed it above my head. By the time I twisted around, I saw the majority of the girls on the floor, laughing. The bouquet was torn a lot, and Rosalie ended up with the stem and one flower, while Alice ended up with most of the petals.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Two hours into the ceremony, I finally got to dance with Alyssa, because I promised her I would. She changed from her dress, to tie-dye jeans, and a blue flower tanktop. She was too cute.

She reached out to me from Makin's knee, and I pulled her into my arms, walking us out to the center of everyone else who was dancing.

Ben spun the song into '_Cupid's Shuffle' _by _Cupid_. I'd herad the song before, catchy beat, but never danced to it. She stood to my right and started bouncing around, from left to right. I watched her for few moments, then noticed that everyone around me was doing the same moves as she was... and she was three years old... I guess this was what Colleen meant by '_three going on thirty'._

"Otay," she said, tugging me down to her by my hand, "wisten and do what it stas to do, 'k?"

"Okay," I laughed, and she walked to the right first, then to the left, then kicked twice in front of her and twice behind her, then spun in a circle, facing another direction. As was all of my friends. So I twisted beside her and started to move with her... four steps to the right... four steps to the left... two kicks to the front... two kicks behind me... then spin in a half circle to face the next direction.

It was pretty fun, once I got the hang of it. She held my hand, giggling as everyone started to cheer her on. Some of my guy friends put little spins to the dance, dropping lower to the ground, or doing moves and thrusts and stuff, while the women started to shake their booties more seductively as the song went on. Alyssa though, she just bounced around and made sure she stayed focused. I noticed she was like Bella in a way... if she tried to do two things at once, like talk and move at the same time, she'd fall or become distracted.

It made me laugh.

I noticed Bella wasn't around during that song, and started to look over the crowd for her... as the song came to an end, I heard my friends behind me hissing and cursing. I spun around, to find my wife, wearing a dress that should be highly illegal in most states. But _fuck me _if she didn't look amazing in it... A strapless, satin, midnight blue dress, which fit every single curve and detail of her body like it was painted on, flowing to a few inches above her knees. She wore blue heels to match, making her still way the fuck shorter than me, but taller than usual.

I literally felt like I should fall to my knees and crawl to her... she looked _that _damn _sexy_.

She really was pulling out the nail of my reserve board. She was lucky I maintained myself in front of everyone and didn't attack her and strip all of my clothes off. Because I really wanted to. Very fucking badly.

"Jeeeeesus," I said, pulling her into my arms, "did you paint that on?"

"Do you hate it?" she asked, eyes full of sudden worry.

"Noooo, I most definitely do _not _hate it," I said, narrowing my eyes at my co-workers who were gawking her backside and whistling, "But I may end up in a brawl by the end of the night."

She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my face toward her as she looked up at me through those damn long lashes of hers, "I just thought... it'd be easier to take off than a wedding dress."

I smirked, licking my lips, "woman, as beautiful as you are, it'll take me about **.**02 seconds to rip _anything _off of you."

"Who says I'm going to let you rip it?" she teased.

I cocked my head back and studied her expression, challenging her, "who says you won't?"

"Uh... me?"

I shook my head, "baby, be honest... you know that nothing gets between me and your panties, when it comes down to it."

She bit her lip, pulling her eyes from mine, "I'm not going there."

"It's wise that you don't," I said, covering her ass with my palms and staring Emmett down like he was a terrorist. _The ass is mine._

We danced to more songs, upbeat, like, _'I Know You Want Me' _by _Pitbull_, where she made certain to stick her ass on my dick at any moment possible. Then to '_Whatever You Like' _by _T.I_., where all of my friends and I surrounded my bride and shook our hips against her and put our booties all over her. She was giggling, covering her face and swatting away everyone's hands but me when they touched her. After that was '_Kiss Me Through The Phone' _by _Soulja Boy_, where it was the girls turn to dance around me... and damn, did they do a good job. Of course, I focused mainly on Bella, who dropped her ass the ground and rubbed it up my leg as she rose to her feet. I felt hands all over me, but could only focus on her, as she bent over and pressed in to me. I don't think I breathed for the entire song. We ended that one with a kiss that wasn't through the phone, and all the girls walked away, fed up with our make-out session. Like we cared.

After that, a few more slow songs, such as '_When You Love Someone' _by _Bryan Adams_, where she hummed most of the lyrics in my ear and made me relax into her. Then it was _'The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face' _by _Leona Lewis_, where she never broke from my eyes. Smiling up at me, sincerely the entire time. After that was, "_Angel Of Mine" _by _Monica, "You and Me" _by _Lifehouse, "This I Promise You" _by _N Sync, _and _"Can't Help Falling In Love With You" _by _Elvis Presley._

Then it was semi-upbeat, like _"Nothing Like You and I" _by _The Perishers, _and _"Lucky" by Jason Mraz _and _Colbie Cailat._

Alice interrupted us and pulled me to the side, to let me know that Plan Seduce Bella was in plan, "You've got about twelve minutes before you two have got to go, according to Victor. Everything's set up."

"Awesome," I kissed her head, "thanks, you're the best."

"Remember that when I do something evil," she teased as she walked away.

I pulled Bella to the middle of the floor and hopped up on the stage, grabbing the mic from Ben's hand. As soon as everyone quit down, I smiled toward Bella, and trying not to laugh when my friends shouted things such as 'take it off!' and 'look at you, you sexy beast!'

"Bella and I want to take this final opportunity thank you all again for your support toward us on this special day. It means a lot that you all have taken time out of your lives to spend with us. A special thank you to my grandfather Victor, and to my mom and dad, as well as Bella's mom, for none of this would have been possible without their love, as well as their piggy banks. ...There's two more songs left that I'd love to dance with my _wife_ to. The last one is one we picked out together, but the one before it is a surprise... I dedicate this to you baby. I love you."

She bit her lip, watching me hop off the stage and head toward her, the beginning of, _'Then' _by _Brad Paisley_ playing in the background. Bella and I weren't ones for a lot of country music, so I knew she'd have no idea what song it was when it started playing.

I pulled her into my arms and held her as tight as possible. Then I pressed my lips to her ear and whispered, "Just listen to the lyrics okay?"

"Yes," she whispered back, all ready sniffling.

We swayed to a steady rhythm, swept up in each other and the music, the soft lighting and the '_awe's' _of our friends.

_I remember, trying not to stare the night that I first met you. You had me memorized. And three weeks later, in the front porch light taking forty-five minutes to kiss goodnight, I hadn't told you yet... but I thought I loved you then._

She shivered, turning her face inward, resting her left cheek against my shoulder, sliding her hand down my white collared shirt.

_And now you're my whole life. Now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day, and I thought I loved you then._

I bent my knees a little, so I could be more toward her height, and brushed the strands of her hair from her face while we danced.

_And I remember, taking you back to right where I first met you, ...you were so surprised. There were people around, but I didn't care, I got down on one knee right there once again, I thought I loved you then._

During the next chorus, I started to sing it to her, not caring who watched.

_And now you're my whole life. Now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. Like a river meets the sea, stronger than it's ever been. We've come so far since that day, and I thought I loved you then._

Bella threw her arms around me, sniffling into my collar bone as she pushed her face into me.

_I could just see you... with a baby on the way. And I could just see you... when your hair is turning gray. What I can't see is how I'm ever gonna love you more... But I've said that before._

I cradled her face and put my forehead against hers, so I could memorize more colors inside of eyes.

_And now you're my whole life. Now you're my whole world. I just can't believe the way I feel about you, girl. We'll look back someday, at this moment that we're in... And I'll look at you and say, 'And I thought I loved you then'. _

_And I thought I loved you then._

Tears streamed from her face as she giggled. I scooped her up in my arms as we listened to the song winding down, and hugged her tight while I continued to dance with her.

"I love you too," she whispered in my ear. "More than anything."

Ben cleared his throat and smiled at us, while I put Bella back to her feet.

"Ladies and gentleman, thank you all for coming. Bella and Edward's last dance will be taken outside, as Edward has two more surprises for his bride."

Everyone started to gather their things, and Bella just looked up at me like I was crazy.

"How many more surprises are there? My gosh... the ring... the songs... all of th-"

"Two more, at least," I shrugged nonchalantly. "Come on, don't you know me by now."

She shook her head, grinning, "you never cease to amaze me."

"That's why you love me," I said, pulling her outside. It was a bit chilly, so I managed to find my tux jacket before hand, and throw it over her shoulders. I caught glimpses of my grandfather and Alice holding Bella's bags, and gave them a wink.

Once we were outside of the Ritz-Carlton, I pulled Bella to the front, past the elongated pool, and wrapped my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder.

"Remember a long time ago, when we were eighteen, and you and I talked about how all of the cheesy stuff -- which we've all ready done, by the way -- wouldn't be in any wedding of ours, just as long as the whole world knew we loved each other, because that would be all that matters?"

"...Yes..." she smiled, leaning her head back against my shoulder.

"Well... this is my way of letting the world, or at least everyone in the surrounding area... know that you and I are married."

"What are y-" Her voice was cut off, as gigantic streams of gold shot up through the clouds, exploding into balls of extravagant fireworks, in shades of gold, red, and purple shimmer. Bella gasped, covering her mouth as everyone cheered and watched the firework show. "Oh my gosh, Edward," she said, unable to finish her sentence. Then she shouted, "This is crazy! How do you remember all of these things from back when? Why do you love me so much?!"

I beamed, kissing her cheek as I squeezed her close, "Because you're you."

"Edward," she twisted around, watching the firework reflection in my eyes, "Thank you... for tonight. For sharing your life with me."

I pulled her into my arms, while our last song, '_Far Away' _by _Nickelback _played, and said, "Thank you for letting me."

Bella hummed, and since she had my jacket through her arms and no one could see her ass, I lifted her up in my arms, encouraging her to wrap her legs and arms around me, which she did.

She buried her face into my neck, and we said absolutely nothing while the song played and the fireworks continued.

I rubbed her back soothingly, to the beating of my heart in my chest against hers.

I caught glimpses of Emmett dancing with Heather, Jasper and Alice, Jake and Rosalie, my mom and Dad, Renee and my grandfather Victor, and Colleen, Alyssa, and Makin, as well as everyone else, and smiled into Bella's shoulder, happy that we weren't the only one in love during this moment.

Bella pulled away a little and cradled my face in her hands, looking down to me as I held her in the air, "this is the best night of my life."

I grinned, shaking my head, "mine too."

The rest of the song was spent by us hugging. Not kissing, for that was something obvious, but truly just holding each other and squeezing tight.

_So keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore... Believe it, hold on to me, and never let me go... Keep breathing... hold on to me and never let me go._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We were really running out of time, so we said our goodbye's to everyone and was on our way to the limo. The car ride took sixteen minutes.

Of course, Bella thought that we were going to a different hotel here in San Fran area. I'm sure she imagined that, since the wedding cost a lot of money (even though we didn't pay for hardly ANY of it), plus with everything else we were about to pay for at the start of our lives, that it'd just be easier this way. She honestly had no idea what was up my sleeve for three weeks now.

So when I led her through the airport, she was pretty much questioning and pulling on me every two seconds. All I kept saying is, "Just trust me, just trust me. I love you, please trust me."

We quickly went through all of the bag checks and security, and she blushed as she walked through the machines in her tiny dress. After that I led her to an area where no one else was, and we were ushered outside a tiny pathway, to a private jet -- owned by my grandfather.

Again, she was puzzled and astonished, unable to form sentences. We bordered the plane and sat side by side, and all she di was look at me and say, "What's going on?"

"You haven't figured it out yet?"

"No..."

"We have a fifteen hour flight ahead of us."

"A-Are you _kidding _me? Where on earth are we going?!"

"It's a surprise."

"No, no, tell me now. Fifteen _hours_? Edward, what is going _on_?"

I chuckled, lifting her hand and kissing the inside of her wrist, on her pressure point, "Somewhere below Asia."

"Huh?" she asked, and I chuckled at her expression. "As in, Asia, the Continent?"

"Yes."

"_Below _there?"

"Yes."

"Edward..."

I turned and grinned at her, "I'm taking you to our own little paradise for the next week. So, please... relax, give me a long kiss, and enjoy the ride... _wifey._"

_I couldn't help it._

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 27! **

**-- Next chapter is all E/B as well... THE HONEYMOON! Lots of smut, smut, lemony fun-ness!  
-- Yes I know Edward is a pervthat wants stuff some of us aren't comfortable with, such as anal sex, but as a married woman, I do know how much men beg for that stuff.  
(I'm just not one to cave in like Bella is... maybe if I had an Edward though... Hmm... Shhhhh don't tell my hubby!!)**

-- NOOOOO Edward is not Alyssa's father and Colleen was not the one night stand he had in New York. They'd never met before the cabin. NO WORRIES, I'm not that twisted! Okay... maybe I am, but I'm not going there. :D

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- ANNOUNCEMENTs:  
I am so pleased and beyond grateful with the support that TEF has carried from day one. You guys make me smile each and every single day, with your time and effort, in reviews, in pms, in dedication and support. You guys have been there for me every step of the way, and I can never express to you how happy I am that I started this story. I've gained a lot of friends through this.  
Because I love this story soooo much and cannot seem to let these characters go, I want to go ahead and share something with you now, instead of waiting toward the end. There's so many different paths these characters can take, especially with EB's future set up the way it is.  
Therefor... *insert drum roll here* I've decided that I THINK I'm going to do a SEQUEL!  
Are you excited??  
I mean, 5 or 6 more chapters of TEF just isn't enough to wrap up these 7 main characters lives. Plus, we're going to be having a BABY cullen soon, and I want to see how Mama Bella and Daddy Edward are going to handle being parents after their kid(s) hit the(ir) toddler years. I want to know how Edward/Bella cope with real life, troubles, finances, bills, and jobs. I want to know which couples stick together, if anyone else gets married, if anyone else has drama in their lives. I want to know all of these things, and I hope you guys do. I hope that you guys stick with me and continue to tell all of your friends about this story. I hope you're excited to venture out with these characters as much as I am. **

**LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK, OKAY?  
BC if you guys think that it's time to retire after these next 5-6 chapters, then I can do that for a while. But if you guys want me to continue, I need to know.**

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**-- ALSO, I'm doing an outtakes section to the story. It'll have things such as Bella and Edward's individual break downs, other POVs during the wedding, their bachelor/bachelorette parties, cabin features, and many, many more.**

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Let's see how many reviews we can get for this chapter! See if it's more than what I got from Chapter 24 of TEF.****  
****  
Regardless of numbers, I promise I'll try my hardest to put the chapter up sooner, and hand out cookies for everyone!**

**Reviews are better than ...wait. What can be better than EB getting married?  
Hmmm. Reviews are runner-up to EB tying the knot! :D**


	28. Completely Consumed

**NOTE: The Edward & Bellie Awards are here! ** A few of my Twilighted faithful readers have decided to both inform me of such awards and **nominate me**!! If you'd like to do the same, or just vote for your favorite authors and stories, please go here: **http://www(dot)thecatt(dot)net -- **then click on "nominations", and fill out the correct information!! I really appreciate any who decide to do this!!

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To my **Readers**.... THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT with me, waiting the longest time limit for me on TEF (a month). I am so sorry, personal life got to be a crutch for me, and there was some stuff I HAD to handle, which had to come first. Plus I had my worse writer's block to date. I hope you guys all understand. THANK YOU for giving me over 500 reviews in the past month, for the latest chapter alone. This one is for you all as well. Because I enjoy that you're just as perverted as I am. ILYG! Thanks to my reader friends whom have given me countless advice on personal issues. And **to all of those who have pm'd me**, I'm sorry I haven't been able to respond, my inbox became overloaded. Thank you to all my readers who have created communities and threads for this story!! Also, I just came across a _Facebook _one and it's very sweet! If you have a Facebook, please join the community! It's called **Addicted To The Ex Factor Facebook Community**. The link can be found in my profile, or you can go here: **http://www(dot)facebook(dot)com/group(dot)php?gid=65233163962#/group(dot)php?gid=65233163962** . As always, make sure to replace the (dot) with a ( **. **) Your time, effort, and genorisity does not go overlooked. I adore you all and thank you for not abandoning me and this story!

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**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Smut. Lemons. Conversation. More lemons. THE ENTIRE CHAPTER. All E/B. Honeymoon. Overwhelmed entirely by a bouncing of emotions with sex, with no predictions to where it's gonna go before it gets there. ;) Oh, and to anyone who hasn't read the first outtake of TEF (posted in my profile, make sure you alert for it!), then you will be introduced to **_**'Cullen' **_**in this chapter. We all know that every man has two sides of him: The honorable one he shows on the outside, respectful, kind chivalrous... Then there's the inside one, where all his dirty thoughts and hidden desires are located... He's quite interesting, to say the least, when he comes out to play. :D Enjoy. NSFW = Not Suitable For Work. Period. **

**Note: THIS IS ONLY PART 1 OF THE HONEYMOON. **Because I've had so many readers pming me, asking me if I've given up on this story, I've decided to go ahead and upload PT 1 now, so this will hopefully alleviate some people's worries. (For those of you on **Twilighted **or **TEF Facebook Community**, most of this will be what you've been 'spoiled' with.) But **TO EVERYONE**, please know that I will _never _give up on this story. If I was to ever leavea story (which I highly doubt will ever happen) then I will make some sort of announcement. But I don't like to do 'fake' updates because I don't like getting my hopes up anymore than I like getting other people's.**  
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**Sidenotes: - PART ONE HAS 64+ PAGES IN IT. Hope that's enough to make up for the writer's block I'm currently dealing with!  
PICTURES IN PROFILE OF OUTFITS. The honeymoon locations are also in there, but some of the pictures are from things that won't happen until the second half of the Honeymoon, so only click them if you want to be spoiled. IMPORTANT QUESTIONS at the bottom of chapter for you guys.**

No beta for the first half of this; please excuse ALL errors, including spelling and location. I did my best w/the research!!! :D

**Oh and for those of you asking: Bella would be around 14 weeks (3 & 1/2 months) long.  
If she was showing around her stomach, it'd be very little, as most pregnancy's do not show until after the end of the 3rd month... or so I'm reading. But her breasts would be much fuller -- all to make her HUSBAND more merrier, I'm sure. ; )**

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_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"I'm gonna bathe you, play with you, rub you, caress you, tell you how much I've missed you.  
I just wanna touch you, tease you, lick you, please you, love you, hold you, make love to you.  
And I'm gonna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, feel you deep inside me oooh.  
'Cause I'm gonna kiss you, suck you, taste you, ride you, feel you, make you come too."**_

_**~ Janet Jackson, "Would You Mind?"**_

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**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Completely Consumed  
(PT 1 of the Honeymoon)**

**EdwardPOV **

It'd been a long, irreplaceable, incredible day... and an even longer trip. The jet stopped in New York to refill, making our fifteen hour flight more into an eighteen and a half hour flight, because of the lack of communication. I wasn't sure about too much of it, being occupied elsewhere.

Bella and I spent most of our time on this plane making out, or catching a few hours of sleep, since we both know we don't have a lot of plans for sleep once we arrived at our destination. I still haven't told her where I am taking her. She's going to have to wait and find out on her own.

Spending time with her on my grandfather's jet did have it's perks. Small cabin up front if we preferred _'regular' _seating. We only used it to get in the air. I had told Areana, our flight stewardess, that if we needed her present, I'd call for her. She was very gracious and stuck to the front of the cabin. Since then, I've had Bella all to myself, in the back, on this queen size bed. It has become a good use for us... anything but sexually, of course. Not that I haven't thought about it, and not that she hasn't tried me fifteen thousand times in the past eighteen hours. But because I didn't want our first sexual experience as a married couple to be on a plane. (On the way back, however, is another story. I have quite a few plans to get Bella familiar with the mile-high club.)

She was still wearing that navy blue mini-dress of hers. I was aware that she had a white jumpsuit in her carry on bag, but I'm sure she is probably wearing this dress to torture and test me and see if I'll cave. The bet is, she thinks I will lose my restraint and cave before we land. If I do, then _'I'm hers' _tonight, as she so seductively mentioned a couple of hours ago. If I win, she said I can have one thing that I've wanted, that we haven't done yet. My choice. And though the thought of_ 'being hers' _sounded incredibly sexy and engaging... I never lose a bet. Ever. Plus my list of things I want her to do with me keeps getting larger and larger, so I need to start narrowing it down anyway.

She lay on her back in front of me, her head propped up on a couple of pillows, her hair spread out beneath her. Between this dress and my suit jacket she wore, the sleeves being so long we had to roll them up, and they _still _hung over her hands -- damn. This woman was fine as _hell_. I smirked, lifting Bella's left foot in my hand. She bit her lip, watching me remove the heel from it, and begin a deep tissue massage for her.

"Mmm," she whispered, turning a little to study me, "that feels wonderful."

I had to allow Bella to have all of the bed, as soon as I felt my pants tightening in a demanding way. I didn't want to lose the bet, so here I sit, on my knees at the end of the mattress, witnessing her tiny, sexy ass in that blue dress in the middle of it, touching her and having impure thoughts. "Does it feel good when I do this?" I asked, dragging both my thumbs up the middle, toward her toes while applying pressure, and then spread my fingers out, making sure to hit the complete arch.

She hummed, inhaling, "yes."

I continued, dragging my thumbs back down, toward her temporal plexus pressure point (where the foot curve up on the sides). Bella seemed to really like that, her lashes fluttering down to a close. I watched as she licked her lips, and felt myself twitching inside my pants. _Fuck_. There wasn't a place on her body that I could touch, that wasn't erotic. I raised her foot higher, and kissed her in-step.

Her eyes popped open and zoned in on me, and I instantly caught her plotting something inside her mind. She always gets a devilish grin when the wheels are cranking away, especially toward something dirty. "Edward," she cooed, slipping her foot from my grasp, and pulling herself on her knees. I watched as she crawled toward me, revealing that painted-on dress in the most incredible way, where you could see any inch of her skin, both surrounding and beneath it perfectly. She stopped at the foot of the mattress and placed her hands on my shoulders, looking down to me, "I love you."

"That's why we're here," I smiled, knowing damn well this was a test.

"...I love you....," she continued, leaning down and taking my left ear lobe in her mouth. Her fingers slid from my collar bone, down my collared shirt, toward the last button. "...a lot," she whispered in my ear, before popping the button off.

I shuddered, my grin turning up higher, "yeah?"

"Mm-hmm," she said, undoing the next two buttons. "So much... it sometimes drive me _crazy_. I can't believe I am your _wife_.

"Well believe it," I replied hesitantly, "because it's true."

"That means I can do whatever I want to you, right?" She continued to work her hands all the way up, until the shirt was done for. She shoved it off my shoulders and I closed my eyes, listening to it fall to the floor.

_Stop her Edward, or you'll lose_, my brain told me. _Let her fucking continue, I want some action_, my dick argued. _A week's worth of missed action. _ I drew in a gust of air and let it out, feeling her tongue drag lazily across from my neck, and circle around my Adam's apple. Bella started to move again, until she slipped off the bed, and straddled my lap. In that damn dress. "Bella," I exhaled, "we shou-"

She cut me off by kissing me, pushing into my lap, and clawing her nails down my back. I groaned, feeling her rock back and forth in my lap. She was doing this shit on purpose. Fucking getting me going again.

My hands found her hips and I steadied her, pulling my face back for oxygen purposes, "hey. Quit it."

"Quit what?" she bat her lashes, and pushed herself against my neck again, "Quit this?"

"Yes," I gave her a pointed look.

She shook her head, doing it again, with more force this time, "can't help it... it feels too good."

Damn this woman was _good_. Maybe I wasn't the only dominant one... _No, no, don't think that way. Stop her._

"Hey Edward?"

"Mmm?"

She leaned forward, placing her lips on my lobe again, "...remember yesterday, when we were in the stair well, and you slipped your hand in my panties and told me how wet I was for you?"

Jesus Christ. My eyes clamped shut and my chest clutched, forgetting how to operate my heart, "yes."

"Well... that was nothing compared to how I feel about you now... wanna check for yourself?" She lifted my hand, sliding it down the front of her dress, "Go ahead..."

Right before my fingers touched that black lace peaking from the opening between her legs, I turned my hand around and squeezed hers tight, "I know what you're doing."

She bit her lip and pushed into my lap again, this time rubbing herself on the back of my hand, which was still holding hers, "...do you?"

I shook my head, unable to wipe this damn grin off my face that gave me away, "yes. Knock it off. We are not there yet."

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Yes I can, you're my wife," I tried to argue, knowing I didn't sound convincing.

Bella cocked her head back, narrowing those chocolate-caramel eyes at me, and smirked, "So what? You're my _husband_. And that means I get to tell you what to do, just as much... and I want you to put your fingers on my body."

I shook my head, "can't do it, Bella. Not yet."

"Then I'll do it for you," she whispered, trying to pull my hand toward her.

The muscles tensed tightly in my arms and I pulled her back, not letting her take control.

Bella exhaled, eyeing me down, "fine. I guess this calls for drastic measures."

"What kind of drastic measures?" I was almost too scared to think about it.

She pulled herself out of my lap and stood up, still straddling over me, the beautiful end of that dress in front of my face. Then she bent over and kissed my forehead, before sliding down those damn underwear. Of course, since she was hovering over my lap, they couldn't fall to the floor. Instead, they feel right onto my crotch of my black tuxedo pants.

_Fucking... damn it. Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

I knew if I looked down and saw them damp in any way, I'd never make it. If I looked to the front of me, I'd see her dress revealing a tiny part of her heat, which I must admit is quickly becoming my favorite part of her entire body. If I looked up, I'd see those damn eyes, and she'd fucking look at me with this damn expression that said she was going to get what she wants.

So I took the coward's way out, by laying on my back, shutting my eyes, and sliding until I could flip my body around, and climb to my feet. I heard her hissing behind me, frustrated, as I stumbled toward the dor. _It's really hard to walk when you have an erection the size of a fucking planet._ I rubbed my palm over my pants, willing myself to calm down, but that didn't help. I tried to think of disgusting shit, like a grandmother in a thong, but that didn't do anything either. I couldn't turn around, because if she was doing ANYTHING remotely seductive, I'd lose it. Damn, she was good.

I learned right then and there not to buy into her shy and innocent act she sometimes pulls. I married a closet-vixen.

_What do I do? _ I checked my watch. About twenty minutes before we land. I knew the last of the ten, we should be buckled up. So what did I do for the other half of the time?

I had no other choice.

I had to be a pussy, and cop out. She was going to hate this, but... I raised my hand, pushing the call-button, to get the stewardess back. I heard Bella tensing behind me, then quickly shuffle to grab her panties, and storm into the bathroom, muttering, "so he wants to play hardball..."

I was so screwed.

Areana knocked and entered, smile on her face, "yes, Mister Cullen?"

"Approximately how much time until we land?"

"About eighteen minutes, sir."

"Could you collect some beverages for us, by chance? Anything will do."

"Certainly sir. I'll be right back with those."

"Thank you, Areana."

After she left, I listened as Bella opened the door to the bathroom. I was hesitant when I turned around, preparing to see her naked, or have a weapon in her hand to shoot me with. Instead, she had my jacket wrapped around her, and her arms crossed over her chest, hugging her own body.

"I'm sorry," I confessed with a frown, "You're too sexy, and I didn't want to lose the bet."

She shrugged, sitting on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs, "it's fine."

I walked over and knelt before her, massaging her knees, "don't be upset with me, angel."

She looked down at me and drew in a deep breath. Then she spoke calmly, "I'm not. Just frustrated. Sexually. I... really want you. That's all."

"I know," I said, rising to my feet and kissing the side of her cheek, "let's just get off the plane first. We only have a little while, then we'll take a beaver plane -- which is about forty minutes --, then from there, we'll have another mode of transportation. About an hour's worth."

"Why do we have to get on a different plane from this one?"

"Because this jet can't land where we're going."

"Oh. What's a beaver plane?"

"It's the type that has a pontoon beneath the belly, so we can land on water."

"That... sounds scary."

"No, we'll be fine," I ran my fingers through her long hair and kissed her forehead again, "won't be too long now."

There was a knock at the door, and Areana returned with two bottles of water and two cokes. I thanked her and handed Bella the water, and took a sip of my own. I smiled over to her and she smiled back. I knew she wasn't upset with me, but I still felt guilty for copping out on her.

In my defense though, it was her own damn fault.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward and I spent the rest of the time on the jet in a cute battle. I kept trying to find out where we were going, and he kept dismissing my question with a repetitive, "Shh, you'll see soon enough." I even tried bribery with sex. He was really good at keeping secrets.

Our minds quickly removed themselves from the gutter as soon as we landed. Edward took my hand and helped me off the plane. Though we were now nine hours ahead of what we were, it was all very mind boggling, knowing we'd been on an nineteen hour flight, and still had a little ways to go. I tried to look around, to maybe figure out where we were going, but all we did was walk from one slab of concrete at a section of an airport, to another plane. Plus it was still dark yet, an hour or so until dawn.

This one was a small, maybe an eight-passenger. Red with a white stripe across it, and as Edward said, pontoon bottom.

"Wait, Edward, are we in Asia right now?" I asked, tugging on his hand, trying to figure out where I was.

"Yes, well... Technically, India. Madurai, IXM Airport."

I rubbed my face, trying to wrap my brain around the travel time distance, as I stared up at the stars, "I'm so lost."

Edward threw his arm over my shoulder, watching people put our luggage in the plane, "I know baby. We're almost there."

"We're flying over _more _water?" I asked, turning my body inward and pushing my face into his jacket. I'm sure I seemed a bit disoriented, but being up in the sky that long does that to a person.

"Yes, hence the plane we're about to board. After that, we won't fly anymore for a few days. You'll be able to have some much needed R & R."

I inhaled his delicious scent, nodding, "okay."

"Have any ideas where we're at, or where we're heading?"

"Hopefully, somewhere with a _bed_."

He chuckled, kissing the side of my head, "Bella, you're my wife. Officially. A bed was the first thing on my list." He winked at me and massaged my back, before the guy gave us the okay to board.

I tried to hide away my fears of this teeny, tiny, crop-dusting looking plane, but as soon as we were seated, I am pretty sure my expression was very clear.

Edward leaned across the seat to me and took my hands in his, "don't be scared. I'll never let anything happen to you."

"I know, but-" I tried to argue, but he cut me off.

"I'd never put you in harms way, Bella. I promise."

I smiled warmly at him, wishing I could unbuckle my seat belt and crawl into his lap. Once the plane lifted in the air, I tensed up, making a strange, "eeeeeeeee" sound, with my mouth opened and tight, eyes wide like a fool.

Edward laughed a little and leaned forward, kissing each of my knuckles.

A few moments later, when we were high and weaving, I pulled my left hand free and put it on my stomach. My nerves were a little shot from all the traveling as it was, and it wasn't doing well for me or the baby in that tiny plane.

With one cautious look from him, he quickly unbuckled his seat belt even though he wasn't supposed to, and rushed over to me, holding me tight in his arms, "are you feeling sick?"

"Uhhhh," I shrugged, eyes closed, willing the feeling away. This plane, because it was so light, bounced up and down a lot more than the other one, which I couldn't even feel being in the air with it. I started to pray inside my head that I did not throw up on him. That would be humiliating. I remembered Rosalie doing it to Jake on accident a couple months back before Phil's funeral, and didn't want to be the re-enactment. Plus this was my honeymoon. It'd give whole new meaning to the whole _'in sickness and in health' _vow.

I bent down, hurdling my stomach, and placed my forehead to Edward's. He massaged my back and looked over my shoulder, presumably to find out where we were, "Hey, excuse me?"

"Yes," the pilot answered.

"Could you climb to a higher altitude for us? My wife is pregnant, and the bouncing is a little uncomfortable for her."

"I'll be able to climb higher in just a moment, sir. I'm sorry about that, we have some low, rough cloud coverage here. It gets like that, right before the clouds part toward land."

"Thank you," he said, before directing his attention back to me, "it's okay."

"I'm fine," I exhaled, putting my head back on his, "I'm fine."

He smirked, "I know you are. You look fine as hell, too. For the record."

I giggled, brushing my hand through his hair, "leave it to you to be thinking that way at a time like this."

"Bella, I _always _think that way. I am a man. And I married the most beautiful, sexiest, feistiest vixen in all of history. It's uncontrollable."

I smiled, pulling back to look at his eyes, "you think I'm a vixen?"

"Absolutely. Look at you."

I giggled, burying my face in the crook of his neck, "stop."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After that, the plane ride was decent. Once we came to a clearing, I pretty much became awe-struck. Before me, in the distance, was a large island, lit up with tons of lights. Edward said we were surrounded by other tiny islands, miles away. The closer we got, the more of the tiny pieces of land we flew over, murky and foggy below us. I had no idea where we were. "Edward," I gasped, covering my mouth as the plane started to descend, "is this where we're going?!"

Edward beamed, shaking his head, "you haven't seen anything yet Bella. Just wait until it becomes daylight."

I bit my lip, feeling giddy, and not so nauseated anymore. Pure anxiety over-swept me, calm but dominating. There wasn't a cloud in the sky now. Just stars. The plane continued to lower, floating up and down in the wind, until the large island came back into view. Gasping, I clutched my hand over my chest, feeling us land smoothly on top of the water, and slide toward a gentle stop.

I didn't get much of a glance of the island we were stepping out on, because all I could see was the gigantic boat in front of me in the water. Lit up like a cruise ship. Wooden. Tall. Mahogany. Three white sails with sea-blue trim.

"Do you know where we are?" Edward asked, adjusting his RayBan sunglasses on the top of his head.

"No idea..." I murmured, mouth agape, staring at the beauty in front of me.

"We, my dear," he said, pulling me in front of him and wrapping his arms around me, "are in a part of the _Maldives_. We are in the middle of the eastern Arabian Sea region of the Indian Ocean. This is the _Male Atoll_, this section of islands, stretching as far as our human eyes can see. In all directions... This is also known as _Kaafu_."

"Wow," was all I could muster, still unable to form a sentence.

Edward leaned forward, pressing himself against my back, "you'd better close that pretty little mouth of yours, before I put it to use."

I shuddered, shutting my eyes, and leaning against him.

A man in a suit stepped off the boat and grabbed our things without a word, before nodding to Edward.

"That's Anton," he explained, nipping playfully at my ear lobe, "he'll be taking us to your paradise. I knew, with you being pregnant, that I didn't want to put you on a speed boat and risk motion sickness. So I ordered you a much larger form of transportation."

"Sweet of you," I purred. "Wait. _My _paradise?"

"Well," he chuckled, squeezing me into a backward hug, "the original name of the island _we're _going to is _Vabbinfaru_, but for the next few days, I'm going to call it _'Isle La Bella'."_

"Mmm," I cooed, raising my arm behind me and stroking through his copper hair, "and why would you do that?"

"Because it was practically made for you... you'll see why."

I bit my lip, tugging on the ends of his hair, "My, Mr. Cullen, is this all in your ploy to get laid?"

He smirked against the side of my neck, before rubbing his nose there, "yes."

"It's _really _working," I replied earnestly, pulling out of his grasp and walking toward the ramp leading up to the boat.

"But, uh," he scoffed, arms open, dumbfounded and flabbergasted, "where... you.. but... you can't just say that and walk off. Why do you want to leave me hanging?"

I giggled at the pun in that sentence and waved my hand toward the ramp, "come on, you don't want me to slip and fall, do you?"

Instantly, he rushed to my side, and we walked up the high ramp together.

"Truthfully, Edward, this is amazing. I can't think of a good enough word to describe my feelings right now."

"That alone makes this entire trip worth it," he replied, as he lifted me over the gap between the ramp and the boat.

Once we were boarded and ready to go, the boat took off, coasting across the ocean waves like it was flying through air. Edward led me to the top of the deck, and we ran to one end, admiring the endless view of midnight water from the angle we were facing.

I jumped up on the second rail, half-tempted to scream '_I'm queen of the world!'_ but knew he'd never, ever let me live it down. But I felt just like that part of the movie... like nothing could stop me, or hurt me. That we were finally safe and free to love one another how we were meant to.

"Edward," I exhaled as he slipped behind me, his hands finding my hips to steady me, "I'm... _speechless_. That rarely happens with me."

"You're making me nervous being up there," he responded, not really paying attention to my giggly expression or previous comment.

"I'm fine, I promise I'm not going to dive in or anything."

"I'm not so much worried about you _diving_, as I am you accidentally slipping in those heels, falling face forward, smacking your pretty little nose on the ass-end of this boat, and drowning in the endless depths of sea water below us."

I attempted to twist around quickly toward my right and glare at him from behind, but he mistook this as me slipping on the rail, and instantly made an awkward noise and pulled me off the railing. We tumbled backward, me landing on top of him with an _'ooof!_', on the hardwood floor.

"Oh-ho," he laughed, still holding me with his left hand as he rubbed his head with his right, "that could have been more graceful."

"I didn't slip, I was trying to turn and yell at you."

"You can never be too sure, my love," he stated matter-of-fact-like. "Your track record isn't so promising, nor is it reassuring."

"Shut up," I elbowed his ribs, giggling as he hissed at me, and pulled myself up.

"Oh no you fucking don't," he demanded, winding his arms around my waist again and tugging me back down to him. He ignored me when I tried to object, and re-situated us, to where I was laying beside him, and his arm was beneath my neck. "Hush and look up. This turned out to be planned perfectly than I had imagined. The sun's about to come up."

I licked my lips and sighed, before looking up. Then my mouth dropped. Flickers of the last sail, mixed with an endless dark and light blue sky. I looked to my right, and saw more blue sky and blue water. To my left, same thing. I was surrounded by shades of blues. Exhaling deeply, I twisted my body and hitched my leg over his thigh, "it's absolutely beautiful, Edward."

He lazily turned his face to face me and gave me a half-smile, "it... runs a second-best in my book." Then he tapped the tip of my nose with his index finger.

I hummed, nuzzling up against him, "if we never had to leave this spot... ever... I'd be a happy woman for all eternity."

"I wouldn't make that assumption until you see where you're staying."

"I'm just as content on this big ass boat."

"I'm just as content as long as you aren't drowning below it. No more railing dances."

"Fine," I sighed, "I suppose. But... what am I going to do in the mean time?"

"What do you mean?"

I bit my lip, sliding my hand down his stomach, and dipping inside his white collared shirt. He smirked, closing his eyes and enjoying the feel of my finger making circles up and down his happy trail.

"Do you want me to?"

"Do I want you to what, my love?"

"To do this. Lower..." I leaned forward, attempting to tease him as I breathlessly whispered, "_harder_."

"Mmmm," he thought for a moment. "Yes, but I'm trying to wait until we get there, and I know if you start _that_, then I'll be in trouble with halting our actions after you're finished giving me round one."

I nodded in understanding, excited about what he meant by _round one_. Smirking, I curled up to him, kissing the side of his arm gingerly.

He squeezed me tight, resting the side of his head against mine.

"This works just as nice," I stated in a whisper, listening to the sounds of the water hitting the boat, the birds in the distance, and his soft breathing.

"I was thinking the same thing..."

The gentle movement of the boat, plus the sounds of the wave, on top of the sun coming up against the sea... I was in heaven. The best part though, I must shamelessly admit, was being wrapped up in his arms. Curled up against him. Having my hand rest on his heart. Knowing I was a part of it now. Completely.

Within just a few moments, I closed my eyes and breathed in the fresh air.

I was a peace.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The next time I opened my eyes, I was still in Edward's arms. But this time, I wasn't cuddled up next to him; I was being carried. After a moment to realize that, being so lost in the intake of his delicious scent that I didn't care where I was, I nuzzled my nose against his neck and managed to croak out a, "where are we?"

"Still on the boat, sweetie. B Deck. We are about to dock."

"Mmmm," I said, heart fluttering, "thank you for carrying me."

"You don't have to thank me. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Did you get some sleep?"

"A little," he said, as he sat me on the counter in a little kitchen nook. "Let's fix your dress here...," he whispered gently as he tugged the ends near my thighs.

I bit my lip and smiled, watching him do all of the adjustments.

Then he brushed my long hair off of my shoulders and kissed my top lip. "Perfect."

I pulled him into me for a quick hug, and then a voice came from behind us that startled me, stating, "Sir, we're about twenty seconds to the dock."

"Thank you Anton," Edward said, before kissing my forehead. "Did you get a good nap in?"

"Yes," I whispered, brushing my fingers through his disarrayed hair, "it was so peaceful out there, watching the sun come up and warm my face... I didn't know I drifted off."

He smiled, kissing along my cheek, just as tenderly, "you seem happy, Bella. Extremely reposed... I cannot remember the last time I saw you _this _serene."

I gave him another hug, unable to resist. I just couldn't get enough of him. The feeling of his warm hands gliding down and around the small of my back... The shudders he gave me when his chin rested gently on top of my left shoulder while he breathed me in... The calm that surrounded me, though my heart continued it's rhythmic dance. "What time is it?" I asked with a yawn, shaking my head to wake up.

"It is...," he glanced at his watch, "...about six-forty-five in the morning. Which would be about nine-thirty at night back home, the next day."

"Oh," I yawned again, willing myself to stop it, "okay."

Edward slipped me off the counter and put me gently to the ground between him and the counter-top, "We'll get some food as soon as we get there, I promise. I'm not ignoring the rumbles inside there."

I giggled, and he led the way toward the front of the boat, but quickly covered my eyes and turned me away, cursing under his breath.

"Are you okay?" I placed my hands over his, rubbing the backs of his fingers.

"Yes, I don't want you to see anything yet. I wasn't thinking."

"Ohhhhh I see." I wanted so badly to ask him how we got here, who helped pay for all of this, and if we never had to return -- but knew he wouldn't like a few of those questions, so decided against it.

A few moments later, his hand was still on my eyes, but he was back to carrying me with his other hand. I could smell the fresh water and hear the ripples and crashes of waves surrounding me as he took us from the boat. Though I knew there was a bigger surprise waiting for me, but a part of me didn't want to leave the boat. It felt surreal, being on it. Just floating above the water, away from anyone who has evil in their spirits and could harm us.

Away from all the mess of real life, with bills, and careers, and pressure, and responsibility. I pondered quickly about changing my career outlet to seawomam or fisherwoman... _Hmm_.

"Bye, Mrs Mahogany!" I called out, though I couldn't see the boat to wave to it, "I'll miss you."

"_Mrs. Mahogany_? You named the boat?"

"I liked it. So relaxing. 'Sides, guys name their penises."

"I don't have a name for mine. I just call it 'dick'."

"Well, we'll have to find one for it, won't we?"

I giggled as he groaned a, "...I don't know about all of that."

I listened to us going from the ramp to something... wooden? Edward set me to my feet, begging me to not peek, and shook hands with Anton, before he gave us our luggage. "Okay," he said, standing behind me and pressing himself up against me, "are you ready to see where you'll be staying for the week?"

"Yes," I smiled, feeling giddy.

"Are you really, really sure?"

"Yes," I began to bounce on my toes.

"And since I won the bet and didn't cave on the planes, are you sticking to your half of the bargain when we get there?"

"Yes," I promised

"Are you just saying that so I'll let you see?"

"Yes-_No_! No."

"Ahhh, too late, you're caught in a lie. That one's going to cost you."

I curled out my lip, starting to ask what I had to pay, then I felt him twist me around and press his lips to mine, hard. I threw my arms around his neck and pushed myself as far as I could go into him. Inhaling his scent greedily, I was half-tempted to throw my legs around him and beg him to take me... wherever we were.

_Wait... Where are we? _Light dawned on my marble head, and I stopped kissing him and pulled back, but he quickly threw his hand back over my eyes, muttering, "nice try. No peaking yet."

"Please just let me look!"

"Beg."

"I did."

"Beg more," he teased.

"Pretty, pretty please with cherries on top?"

He grinned, nibbling on my ear, "Technically, you offered that cherry a good while back."

"Edward, _please_? I love you."

"Oh, all right. Since you're begging. On the count of three... One... Two..."

"THREE!" I shouted, yanking his hands from my eyes. Then I gasped. We were standing on a wooden dock, skinny and stretching all the way down, about half a mile or so... The water surrounding us started from a light green, stretching into an exquisite shade of blue as it went deeper. But the most amazing part? The island standing directly in front of me. I wasn't sure how big the island was, but it was perfect in it's dimensions. Large enough to fit a couple hundred houses or so in it, but not an entire town. Flushed with different sizes and shades of green palm trees, white crystal sand, and a sky so blue that it was meant to be in a movie.

I felt my legs trembling, just standing there in awe of it. I didn't know what to say! _How do you compliment something so incredible?_

"What do you think?"

I raised my finger, trying to muster a word. _What to say, what to say_...

"Well?"

"It's... resplendent."

"Mmm, good adjective," he said, kissing my neck. "Do you see that building toward our left?"

"Yes."

"That's where we'll check in. It's also a restaurant. Clear on the other side of this island, there are tiny villas, where a few tourists are going to be... But they're only allowed on that side during most of the time... But the rest of this place... is ours for the remainder of this vacation."

"Ours?"

"Yes. Compliments of Victor Eugene Cullen."

"Oh my..." I shook my head, stunned. "This is too much."

"Yep," he smirked, throwing our bags over his shoulder and taking my hand, "but that's the way my Grandfather is. Come on... let's go."

I think I practically skipped all the way down the dock, I was so excited. I could see the sand beneath the sparkling water to my right and left, little sparkles and multi-shaped shells. A crew of three, all dressed in white t-shirts and pants, met us half-way down the dock, and took the luggage from Edward. I jumped on his back and he popped me up high enough to curl his hands beneath my knees, and carried me the rest of the way to the restaurant-check-in spot. On one side, the beach side, the building was surrounded by palm trees and sand. But as we walked toward the 'front' of the building, it was paved with a couple of cars, and fountains in the middle. He carried me up the steps, two at a time, and we entered the air conditioned lobby.

I was once more in awe of the way this place was decorated... Earth tones... Calm.

"Hello, reservation for Cullen, please?"

"Ahh, yes Mister Cullen," the woman behind the desk greeted us, adjusting her glasses as she typed in a few words, "how was your arranged mode of transportation this morning?"

"Wonderful, thank you putting that order through in such short notice."

"Anytime. Okay... here are your keys, Andrew is ready for you in the parking lot. If you need anything, just call me at the front desk."

"Thank you," he chuckled as I slid down his back, and twisted to take my hand, "come on. You ready?"

I about took off running at the thought of finally getting Edward alone in a place that wasn't moving. I started to giggle and beam like an idiot as he loaded me into the golf-cart looking thing. We said our hello's to the driver, and we took off, weaving in and out of sand and palm trees, inward from the coast. Edward pointed out the different birds and locations he had planned to take me as we traveled. We ended up in, what I was presuming to be, the middle of the island, but yet on the coast. Edward thanked the driver and removed our bags from the cart, before sending him on his way.

And then I got a look at our... _paradise_. _Ahhh.... nice._

I'm pretty sure I left my brain at the golf cart, if not back on the boat, or in California that matter, because Edward led me into the front door, and I couldn't say a word to save my soul. One view had palm trees, an in-ground swimming pool, and square hot tub. Another had an infinity pool leading to a peek of the ocean. Another was a sitting area. Inside... Wooden floors. Everything lit up in dim, glowing lights, or candlelight. Neutral, romantic colors. Rose petals in the hot tub and the deep built- for-six bath tub.

But the craziest part was the bedroom. I noticed brick walls, but couldn't figure out where they led to, until Edward opened the double doors. Then we were swept inside a room that had glass walls on every side. And outside the bedroom, was some kind of lake, or pool, or something. Then, from there, surrounding every inch of the outside of the bedroom, were these high, gray, brick walls set for privacy. Not to mention, caddy-corner to the bedroom, in the pond, was a tiny waterfall. The entire room looked like it was floating on water, but wasn't.

It was as if the bedroom was a separate part of the island, or an island all on it's own. Gigantic king size, golden sleigh bed, white comforter, throw pillows. Rose petals on the floor. Candles in each corner.

I couldn't speak.

I could barely even register what was happening.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I licked my lips and sat our luggage down, watching Bella stroll around the bedroom like she had never seen one before. Of course... she hadn't seen one like _this _before, but still. It was cute, seeing the multiple expressions shadow her face as she reached out and touched the bed, the glass, the floor, and everything in-between. It was as if seeing a baby open their eyes for the first time and welcome the world in.

This was my gift for Bella. Something I wanted to show her. What seemed like a long time ago, when Bella and I went out to eat in Seattle, I told Bella that maybe we could live in a dream world, where we'd be the first couple in history to truly love each other _all _the way... I noticed she remembered it, because she said it in her vows.

This was the dream world I wanted to escape to. A world I wanted to shelter her with for a while, and show her that she can be herself, one hundred percent. A world where she could feel safe. A world with just me and her alone.

At first, I was a little apprehensive about Bella being worried about the windows again. It wasn't too long ago that she freaked out about them in my condo. But watching her lean against them so she could peer through easier, in that blue dress, I realized that I didn't _care _if she was nervous. We were staying here, and so were the damn windows and... quite frankly... they _could _come to my benefit.

I strolled over and snuck up behind her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I bit down gently on the right side of her neck. She melted into me, humming and holding my hands tight to her stomach. I took that as my cue to suck on her neck and massage her body a little.

"Edward," she sighed, raising her arms and fingering through my hair, "that feels nice."

"Just nice?" I asked against her skin, while running my hands up and down her sides.

"Mmmhmm," she teased, biting her lip. "The more you do it, the better the compliments will be."

"Oh honey," I grinned cockily, dragging my bottom lip up from her neck and below her ear while I whispered, "...I can do it all night long."

She shuddered between my hands and rolled her head back on my shoulder, her fingers grasping hold of my pants surrounding my outer thighs, "Mmm. Are you going to start now?"

"Do you want me to? Aren't you hungry?"

Bella twisted in my arms and wrapped hers around my neck, "the food can wait."

"But the baby's pr-"

She covered my mouth, narrowing those batting lashes at me, "the food... can _wait_."

She didn't have to tell me twice, and I crashed my lips to hers, probably more rough than I had planned. But I couldn't help it. It's been a week. We were finally alone. We were on our Honeymoon. And God dammit, she was _mine_.

"Mmm," she tugged on my hair, pushing into my face with vigor.

My hands trailed down her sides, then around, and came to rest beneath her dress, on the bottom of her ass cheeks. I squeezed roughly, getting myself a good feel, before lifting and dragging her up my body. Feeling the way she threw her legs around my waist and squeezed... _damn_. It sent sensations straight to my dick.

I gently bit onto her bottom lip and pulled it out, and she moaned, pushing herself into my hips. Twisting us around, I used a free hand to feel around the bed, and then crashed on top of her onto it. Her knees trapped my sides and she slid her legs up and down mine, before hooking her heels around the back of my knees.

"Ungh," she gasped when I pulled away to catch a breath, "I thought this moment was never going to come."

Smiling at the way she said _come_, I licked below her ear, along her jaw, and across her bottom lip, before sliding my tongue inside the warmth of her mouth. She tasted of everything that I missed and everything that ruined me when we weren't together. She was perfect, and living without her was hell. This _taste_, this _perfection_... nothing has ever replaced it, and nothing ever will.

I made myself re-familiar with every inch of her, every corner, dip, and section. I lapped against her tongue, drawing lazy circles around it. My hands continued their roam of her body, down the hour-glass shape of her frame... Her firm breasts, delicate sides, and sexy hips. Scooping beneath her and cupping generous portions of her perfect ass. I rolled us over, and she straddled me, pushing down into my center. I smacked her ass, then went right back to squeezing hand fulls. Greedily. _Damn, she felt good._

Bella flipped her hair back and tugged on my shirt, all the while thrusting up and down onto me. Biting her lip as she did it.

I wasn't sure exactly what she was wanting sexually, our first time as a married couple. _Wasn't I supposed to be romantic right now? _That's what most people were, at least in the movies. But damn... damn, damn, damn, I could barely register a single coherent thought, let alone muster a romantic plan of seduction.

She drug her french-manicured nails down my chest, biting her lip as I rocked her hips above mine. As soon as she started to unbutton my shirt, my hands found the hem of her dress, and I slid it up past her petite waist. More peaks of those damn black lace panties cascaded through my vision, and I couldn't see anything else. Bella seemed to notice where my eyes were, because while she was sitting on my chest, she spread her legs slightly, giving me a much _better _view.

I licked my lips, my imagination running wild into the filthy depths of my mind, of all the things I wanted to do to her, and her to do to me. I couldn't love being married anymore than I did at that moment, realizing that anything was possible now. We no longer had to hold ourselves back. We no longer had to wait, or to resist, or to worry. She trusted me, I trusted her. We were one now, so why the hell not go for it?

I began to push her dress up toward her breasts, causing her to let out a moan from the bottom of her chest. Clawing her way back up to my shoulders, she leaned into me, so I could unzip the back of it. Her fingers working my shirt as I bunched the silk fabric of her dress between my hands.

"Lift your arms baby," I whispered huskily, bucking my hips when she bit down on my neck.

"Uhhh," she whimpered, sitting back up and doing as I asked.

My lips parted when her satin strapless black bra revealed itself to me, her long hair falling in whims against her pale skin. "Jesus fucking _Christ_, you're gorgeous," I panted, shaking my head as I sat up. I couldn't help but feel as if I had never seen breasts before, as I began to stroke over her cleavage. Her strawberry-cinnamon scent waifed into my nose, obliterating my mind, and I leaned closer, unable to get enough of it. "Fucking perfect," I murmured, applying my lips to the top of her right breast. "...so fucking beautiful."

She pushed into me, scraping her nails along the back of my neck, "say it again."

"I said you're so fucking beautiful," I licked along her skin, my fingers teasing her nipple behind the cloth.

"Mmm," she pushed into my hips, yanking my hair harder, "say it again."

She continued rocking her hips against me, non-stop, each time, with a little bit more force. And since we were both sitting chest to chest, I felt every bit of her behind that lace, even though I still had my pants on. "Say it again Edward... please don't stop talking."

I was stunned. Eyes glossed over, lips parted, hands on her moving hips, fingers grasping at her taunt skin... _stunned_. She looked like a goddess. My goddess.

And _damn_, did she know how to dry fuck me.

"Please?" she begged softly.

My body began to tremble with excitement, and I was so overwhelmed with her, that my voice came out as a tiny, weak whisper, "...I said you're so fucking beautiful."

Bella hummed again, drawing her face close to me.

I leaned forward to kiss her, but her finger found my mouth, and she pulled her face back. I narrowed my eyes at her, trying to figure out why she wouldn't let me kiss her, "what are you doing?"

She bit her lip, "no kissing yet."

"But...that's... not nice at all."

She grinned evily, pushing me hard, back onto the mattress. My hands fell beside me, and I watched in shock as she held my shoulders down. "You haven't seen me being mean yet."

I smirked, "what does that mean?"

"Mmm," she bent closer, but jerked her head back when I lifted mine to kiss her, "you'll see soon enough."

"But," I whined, despite myself, "I did what you asked me to do."

"And?"

"And so... I deserve a treat..." I stretched my neck out, feeling the taste of her on my tongue, craving it, "You need to fucking kiss me."

She bent down to me, her mouth a centimeter from mine, and whispered seductively, "no... I don't."

I dropped my head back into the pillow, showing a bit of frustration in my face. Sure, teasing was wonderful, and I'm always game for... _games_, but I'd literally _feel _better at this point if she'd just cave and kiss me. I tried to will her with my eyes. I tried to distract her by licking my lips. Hell, even grunting was an attempt.

She was being stubborn as shit, looking sexy on top of me, in only that strapless bra and matching panty set... grinding on my pants. She made me me wish I could develop telekinetic powers and remove all of our clothing with just my mind -- it'd save me a lot of time and energy waisted on pouting and begging.

Bella started to slither down my legs, grinning up at me as she moved the sides of my unbuttoned shirt off my stomach, and unfastened my slacks, "you move your hands, and I stop. Keep 'em up in the air."

I shook my head, lips parted, "where in the hell is this coming from?"

She bit her bottom lip and smiled at me, "do you want me to stop?"

"...No..."

"Then relax and watch me work."

My heart started to pound through my chest as I panted, watching her slip her hand inside my pants. My fingers started to twitch; all I wanted to do was reach out and touch her. Stroke her hair, at the least. I watched as she licked her lips a few times, and hesitated on my breath, imagining what she was about to do to me.

She pulled me out and slid her small, warm hand down my shaft, gripping the base. Bella parted her lips slowly, and brought her face closer to my body. Her eyes met mine, and she grinned evily, before blowing hot air around my skin, in a circle. I started to curse, but held myself together, balling my fingers into fists. _Don't touch her, don't try to touch her yet, or she'll stop before she starts anything_. I inhaled through my nose, forcing myself to relax.

Bella licked around the tip, watching me as she did it. Tempting me in the most obnoxious, evil way.

I bit my lip, feeling my wrist jerk toward her, "can I touch you yet?"

She instantly stopped, popping her head up and glaring at me, "if you want me to stop."

"Bella, come on. You're killing me!"

"Edward, what is so hard about you just laying back and letting me enjoy myself? I realize you have control issues, but seriously. Let me have my fun!"

"But... I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No I can't."

"_Edward_, ye-"

I sat up, and grabbed her arms, "Bella, listen to me. Okay? For one second. This isn't about control -- well, not like you think. Yes, okay, maybe I like to have control. But this isn't about that. It's about me, finally _having _you. And not just sexually, but in general."

"I mean... you don't fucking get it, I don't think. You don't realize what I've been through. I hate to bring this up on our Honeymoon, but I have a point to make. When I was with other women -- _no, no, fuck that_. When I had _sex _with other women, do you want to know what it was like for me? It was _stupid_. Fucking _ridiculous_. Sure, yeah, maybe it had it's moments where I enjoyed myself -- but they were far and few between. Do you want to know why? Because for like, fifteen seconds or some shit, when I'd release or hear some other stupid bitch say my name, I'd realize that you didn't have to be all I thought about, every single day. I'd realize that maybe I could have fifteen seconds of free space in my mind that didn't occupy you. Don't you get it? FIFTEEN SECONDS is _not _a lot of time, out of twenty-four hours a day, every single day, week, month, year, so on and so forth."

I sighed, pulling her closer to me, trying to ignore her stunned face, "I'm sorry, and I don't mean to raise my voice with you, but... you _have _to know. I was a fucking shell, living without you. It didn't matter who I was with. NO ONE. I tried and tried and tried some more, to find comfort in someone else's arms, or in drugs, or in alcohol, or work, or whatever else. But _nothing _healed me, _nothing _mended me. Only _you_. Bella, even when you and I weren't together, you were with me, every single damn day. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my mind, in every song I heard, or every show I watched. When I read a book. When I walked the streets. When I fucking went to work. And some days, I _hated _myself for it. I hated myself for not being able to let you go, not being able to forgive myself for what I had done to you."

"Ed-" she said, trying to throw her arms around me, but I cut her off, holding her still.

"But most of all, Bella... my biggest regret in life is not making you see when I had the fucking chance, how much I loved you. How much I truly, truly just... _loved _you. I regret not going after you, sure. But if I could have just told you I loved you, the rest of this wouldn't have been so hard on me. Because I don't think you _realize _how much I love you... I love you in a fucking crazy, almost stalkerish kind of way. I cannot think without you in my mind. I cannot go a single day without a constant reminder of who you are and what you mean to me. But mostly, I cannot even breathe without you. I meant it when I told you that you were everything to me. It's just... you."

"And," I continued, calming my voice and exhaling, "now that I have you in my life, and in my arms, and in my soul, why in the hell would I want to 'lay back' and 'just let things happen'? Why wouldn't I want to absorb myself in your touch, your warmth? Why wouldn't I want to touch you? Why wouldn't I want to show you every damn second of every damn day just how special you are to me? Is that _too _much to ask?"

When I stopped speaking, I blew out a large gust of wind, and watched a few pieces of her hair move around her face.

Now it was Bella's turn to be stunned. Same expression as mine earlier -- Eyes wide, lips parted, hands locked on my wrists, which were still holding her arms -- stunned.

"I'm... I'm sorry," I mumbled, frowning and looking down, "I... hope I didn't ruin this for you, I ju-"

"Shut up," she whispered. "Just... shut the hell up for a moment."

"Okay," I said softly, feeling really guilty.

I stayed perfectly still and kept my mouth shut, waiting for her to say something. I felt like an ass. Why would I even mention my dark past and other women to her, in the first place? It was insignificant, and quite disgusting to talk about sleeping with other women -- especially on our Honeymoon. I had a point to make, yes. But I could have done it at a different time, in the least. _Stupid, Edward. Jackass._

It took five minutes before she'd even drop her hands from my wrists. And another two minutes before she moved her neck from it's stiff position.

I started to ask her if she was okay, but she quickly put her hands on my shoulders, climbed in my lap, her eyes focused dead onto me.

Then she said, with the most lusted voice I had ever heard come from her lips, "That was... _by far_... the sexiest, most perfect thing I think I have _ever _heard you say..."

She kissed me once, before brushing my hair back from my forehead, "you don't realize what you just did to me right then..."

She reached her arm behind her, and un-clasped the back of her strapless bra, letting it fall between us, "...the things your words stirred up inside of my body..."

She pushed us back on the bed, her above me, and slipped off her panties, kicking them toward the end of the bed with her heels, "...the images you put into my imagination of us..."

I wasn't breathing, watching her lean down to me, then place her hot lips against my left ear. I couldn't even grab her... after all that fucking wording I said just to _let _me fucking touch her, now my hands were in the air, like she asked me to do before my vent even began. _Typical_.

"And," she breathed heavily, sending shivers through my spine, "because of what your words... _did _to me, I have but one important question to ask of you."

"What's that?" I asked heavily, lifting my hips so she could tug down my slacks and boxers.

I felt her smile against my ear, and grab my throbbing form beneath her body. Then she said the most seductive question ever: "Edward, ... Baby,... Love of my life,... Can I _please _put you inside of me now?"

Exhaling slowly, a shudder escaped me. My hands finally decided to function, falling and gripping tightly to her hips. I lifted her lower body up in the air and nodded a silent 'yes' to her, before adjusting her to where our bodies could fit together.

She dropped her forehead down to mine, her right arm falling beside my face, her left hand sliding my form between her heat, gathering the moisture there. She bit her lip, blinking a few times, a hint of blush shading her cheeks. I couldn't help but chuckle. No matter if she takes control of the situation or not, she can't stay dominant for long. It wasn't her nature.

My smile ripped right off my face as she pushed my tip inside. Immediately, I groaned and sealed my eyes closed, relishing in her warmth and wetness and perfection. _Damn, I missed this_. It'd been too long since the last time we did this. I vowed to myself to never allow that to happen again.

Not fighting the noises coming from me or my heavy breathing, I slid my hands around to her ass as she lowered until I was all the way in. I trailed my hands up her spine, cupping one behind the back of her neck. "Baby," I trembled when she put her face in my neck and began to gyrate and rock to and from my hips, "that feels so fucking good."

She pulled her face back and cupped mine in her hands, her caramel lusted eyes swarming my emerald, equally aroused ones. She bit her lip and shivered when I hit a spot on her front wall, her lashes fluttering closed for a moment. She wasn't bouncing like crazy on top me. We weren't going fast. We were _absorbing _each other. Moving slow-like. Her hips rocked sensually, pushing toward me, then up to where I'd almost be out of her, then backward, then down, filling herself all the way with me again, then back toward me... in a repetitive circle.

I about fucking died.

Breathing deep through my nose, and only about ten minutes in, I stilled her hips for a moment, willing myself to stay in the game. Never in my life, had I had the sudden urge to release so quickly. _And how bad would that be, our first sex as a married couple? I'd be humiliated._

Bella pulled her face back and looked down to me, brushing her fingertips across my lips. "Are you okay?" she asked in a whisper, her face flushed in heat.

I swallowed, nodding quickly and focusing on her forehead. It seemed like a safe place. Because if I studied her beautiful eyes, or her long dark lashes, or her heated cheekbones, or her plump, swollen mouth... that'd be it for me.

She smiled, leaning forward and pecking my top lip, "are you sure?"

I nodded, inhaling sharply when she started to grind on me again. Her fingers found my shoulders and she used my body for leverage, gyrating at the pace she felt the best in. I slid my teeth across my bottom lip, studying her eyes, watching her bottom quiver when she'd exhale, or smile, or moan. I caught quick glanced at a few tiny, barely visible freckles on the dip of where her collar bones connected, and smiled. _She is so fucking beautiful. I don't think she'll ever realize just how much I mean it when I tell her that. _

She moaned, speeding her hips up. We weren't going slow anymore. But she was setting this pace.

Again, she about made me lose it. She pulled herself up from my body and my hands moved down her waist, gripping and squeezing against her skin. "Edward," she gasped, arching her back more, and tilting her head back, "_Mmmmmmmmmm_."

I smirked and blew out a gust of wind. I could barely speak. She had me fucking _gone_.

She looked down for a moment, pieces of her hair sticking to her left cheek, and smiled at me, enjoying my hands as I helped guide her. Then she leaned back a bit, and placed her palms on my knees. Just witnessing the way her breasts looked in this position, her nipples erect, her body thrusting and taking me in, her neck stretched long, her mouth parted in moans...

"Fuck," I whispered, feeling hypnotized.

I wanted to tell her how fucking sexy she looked riding me, and right when I opened my mouth to do so, she fucking spread her legs wide and showed me the _best. view. ever_. From her swollen breasts, to her beautiful stomach, to her _gorgeous _form, and my dick sliding in and out of her, _glistening_... I wanted to stay still forever and watch it, but I couldn't handle it. When she wasn't looking, too busy focused on her moans, her head was tilted back and eyes closed, I sat up and smacked her ass hard with both palms, before grasping and squeezing and stilling her.

Bella pulled her head up quickly to look at me, smiling at how firm I was just then. She licked her lips, grinding into me more. I did it again, squeezing harder. She moaned louder. _Oh yes, she obviously loved a little pain. I could really, really get used to that._

I gave her a wink and a smile, and then quickly moved us around, never parting, and lay on top of her, our heads toward the foot of the bed. It felt good from this angle -- from _every _angle -- but here I could also focus on more things, more of her pleasure. I kissed her deeply for a moment, probing my tongue in the smoldering depths of her beautiful mouth. She'd arch her back to me, begging for more attention.

Moving back on my knees I pulled her along the mattress with me, and propped her ass up on the top of my thighs. I spread her legs a bit, giving her lower body a lift, where I could hit her spots dead-on while she lay back. As soon as I moved and began to pull and push her hips into me, and thrust into her, she fucking _screamed _out in pleasure, arching her back all the fucking way, her hands finding the headboard. I pounded into her, relentlessly.

"Oh fuck," she cried, listening to the sounds of our bodies crashing into each other, "oh fuck, oh God, Edward!"

Grinning arrogantly, I slowed way the hell down, loving her facial expressions as she struggled for breath, shivering in pre-shocks. She'd inhale heavily through her nose, and with every exhale, she'd whimper a sexy, "Ohhhh," then inhale again, then do the same thing, occasionally adding an, "_Edward_" in there. I knew she was close. I knew that if I so much as brushed her with a fingertip, she'd be done. But now, it was my turn..

I pushed into her as far as I could go, and stilled, the feelings of desire intensifying, and felt her muscles begin to contract heavily with me. Her fingernails found the covers and she scraped down, gasping when I held her lower body in my lap, remaining sheathed inside.

"Open your eyes," I whispered, stroking her heated, shivering stomach with my right palm.

Bella trembled, slowly doing as I asked. She chewed her lip once more when I gave her favorite smile, then moaned slightly when I pulled out and pushed all the way back in, my dick pressing against her furthest back wall. Again, I stroked her skin, savoring this feeling.

We were connected, in every way possible. Trembling bodies, lips parted, eyes locked. We couldn't take our eyes off of each other.

She reached out for me, and I pulled her up, smiling as she wrapped her arms gently around my shoulders. We didn't move; just stayed together. She kissed my right cheek, then my left, before pulling back and studying my eyes. I licked my lips, brushing stray hair away from her lashes. She pushed against me, caressing my jaw.

I gently smiled at her.

It amazed me how, just a while back, I was ready to explode, and now, I could do this forever. It's how she was with me, how I had this connection with only her. It hit me then, just how much she ruled me and my entire universe.

Bella tilted her head, grinning back at me. She was consumed in me, in the heat, in the passion of this moment, just as I was to her. I gripped her hips, pulling her closer, chest up against mine, and kissed her nose. She sighed, hugging me to her and burying her face in the crook of my neck. Then she murmured, "I love you so much," in a soothing voice.

She gasped when my hands lifted her up, then moved her back down. I felt my body responding quickly, as if we'd never slowed. I was throbbing, urgent for the release. Absolutely torn, knowing how quick it could be over if we both lost control, and how much I'd miss her body when I'd part from it. It didn't matter what we were doing. It didn't matter, knowing that I'd have her again, many times throughout the week, not counting during the rest of my life. It didn't matter, even when I _was _inside of her. I could _never _be close enough to her. I would never get enough. Even if I were to climb inside of her heart, into the deepest part of her _being_, I'd still want more. Always.

And though a part of me was on romantic-kick, there was also this part that _Cullen _came and moved to the front part of my brain. And my thoughts, as Bella moved up and down on me, said:_ Pink, tight, warm, moist, FUCK, moist, warm, tight, pink, FUCK, pink, tight, warm, moist, FUCK, moist, warm, tight, pink, FUCK ... _over and over as she slid me out and pushed me in.

"Shit," I groaned, pushing my face into her collar bone, "I can't..."

She grabbed my right hand and pulled it from the grasp of her hip, and slid it down her stomach, resting my pointer finger on her clit, "help me. I'm close."

I pulled my hand away and licked my finger, before putting it back where she'd asked. Wrapping my left arm around her waist, I managed to maneuver her, helping her ride me the way I desired, while my right hand caressed her in slow, but strong circles. As soon as I started, she began to shiver, moaning and pressing her chest into me.

"E-Eddd..." she gasped, unable to finish saying my name, and yanked my hair, causing me to wince and thrust at the same time.

I bit down on the left side of her collar bone and pressed hard into her spot, and she gasped in my left ear and then her orgasm hit hard, sending her into a trembling, shuddering, moaning mess of delight. I pushed into her the same time her muscles gripped tight around me, and cursed loudly while her body pulled out everything I was releasing. She fucking milked me dry, and I loved that feeling. It felt like it was never going to fucking end.

...But eventually, we stilled, and I panted into her damp skin, unable to unwind my arm from around her. I couldn't even move my face, let alone a heavier body part.

Bella hummed, brushing her fingers through my hair, whispering, "so good, so good" into the air.

I smirked and breathed in her scent of strawberries and cinnamon and arousal and sweat and fucking everything that I loved the most in the entire world.

...Then her stomach growled, and we laughed. After another minute, she pulled herself off of me and quickly rushed to the bathroom without saying another word. I fell onto my back, staring up at the ceiling. After all that waiting, I felt relieved. Like a new man.

It was nice.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After using the restroom, rinsing myself off, and wiping away the smudges of makeup from beneath my eyes, I wrapped a white fluffy robe around me and tried to remember how to get back to the kitchen. Edward called out while I was in the restroom, telling me he was going to make me and his 'little boy' something good to eat.

I sighed, scratching my head as I continued my stretch of the house. He was so convinced that he was having a boy, it really scared me at times to think a girl would pop out. I'm sure that, no matter what, he'd be a great father, and would be happy... but I know a boy would delight him to no extent. And I didn't want to disappoint him.

"Hey," I smiled, stretching my arms. I found him, sans clothes, standing over a stove and flipping bacon, "it smells good. Your ass looks good too."

He smirked, shaking his head and moving the pan off the burner, "well, thank you."

"Where did all this food come from?" I popped up on the counter, crossing my legs and adjusting the robe.

His eyes zoned to my bare legs, and his lips parted, his body stiffening.

I tilted my head down to him, "Edward?"

"It's amazing," he whispered, shaking his head slowly.

"W-What's amazing?"

"I just fucking fucked you, and now I want to fuck you again."

I blushed, "can you still call it _'fucking_,' now that we're married?"

He smiled up at me, blinking a few times to put himself back into reality, "hell yes we can. That's what makes it so great."

I laughed, and allowed him to move me to the kitchen table, which had a beautiful view of the patio and blue-green water, stretching endlessly. We ate slowly, in a comfortable silence, smiling at each other every once in a while. There wasn't a need to talk. We felt connected even when we weren't.

I wasn't sure why, but by the end of the meal -- which hit the spot perfectly -- I was feeling bashful.

Maybe it was because he was still butt-ass naked, sitting in front of me.

I bit my lip, pushing my plate away and leaning back against my chair

"What?" he smirked, knowing damn well what he was doing to me.

"I... can't believe you're my _husband_."

"Why do you have to say it so repulsively?"

"No," I shook my head, "I mean it in an... what the hell, he agreed to spend the rest of his life with _me_. Clumsy, selfish Bella."

He chuckled, "Why wouldn't I? You make me happy."

"You... make me happy too," I whispered, growing more bashful.

"Why are you blushing?" he grinned.

I shrugged.

Edward stood up and cleared the table, walking around in the buff. I remained silent, watching him wash the dishes and clean up the mess, then sit back down across from me five minutes later. "So," he licked his lips, studying my eyes, "what do you want to do now?"

_You_. "Uh... what do you want to do?"

"Whatever you want to do."

_You_. "It's up to you."

"No, you pick."

_You_. "I don't know."

"Well, what are you in the mood for?"

_You_. "Probably whatever you're in the mood for."

"I asked you first," he grinned.

_Still you_. "I'll agree with whatever you decide."

He smiled, shaking his head, "if you don't give me a straight answer, _Isabella_, I'm going to have to fuck it out of you."

My mouth dropped, and I stared at him in disbelief. It amazed me, once again, just how arrogant he was when he took control over me. _Damn him and his magical voo-doo grins_.

He smirked, knowing he had me. I watched as he leaned back in the chair, and placed his hand on himself. He didn't move, but he knew what I was thinking. I think my eyes about bulged out of my head. I'd never really seen him... stroke it... before, just out in the open. I felt like a virgin, all over again. Like we were back in that damn cabin, on my eighteenth birthday.

I blushed and about bit through my lip, looking away from him.

"What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

"Am I embarrassing you?"

_Yes, Edward. I hear how cocky you're being. _ "No."

"Then look at me."

I bit down harder, feeling my neck grow hot, and shook my head.

"_Look _at me."

I shook my head again, feeling more and more like a school girl.

"Please?" He changed his voice to that milky, sultry, velvet tone he knows works, "I want you to look at me. Watch what you do to me."

I cleared my throat and slowly turned, my eyes zoning straight to his. From my periphreal vision, I knew his hand and arm were moving now, and knew what he was doing. But his fucking _face_. _Jesus_. Smoldering, blackened eyes, staring directly at me. Copper sex hair I wanted to play with. Neck straightened but leaned back a bit. Lips glistening, like he'd just licked them, and parted open.

I inhaled through my nose, feeling my body react beneath the robe quickly.

He smirked, tilting his head to the right a bit, eyes still right on mine, "would you like to come over here and help?"

I swallowed, shuddering in the chair. Before my brain caught up with me, I got up and walked around the table to where he was. Sliding the bottom of the robe up toward my hips, I threw my right leg over him and straddled his lap, his knuckles rubbing against my stomach as he continued to stroke aggressively.

Trying to be confident, I cleared my throat once more, and whispered, "how can I... be of assistance?"

"Open the robe."

I did, pushing the sides away from the middle of our bodies, to where everything was revealed, except for my shoulders and back. I caught a quick glance of how firmly he held himself as he continued to stroke, how he bent his wrist, how the veins in his arm tightened each time he moved his hand back up, and loosened when he stroked down. "What next?"

His free hand slipped up between my breasts, and around to the back of my neck, pulling me an inch from his mouth, and he said dominantly, "turn around."

I furrowed my brows for a brief second, shivering, but then did as he asked, straddling his lap backward. I listened as he hummed, free hand pulling my robe off my shoulders, and discarding it somewhere behind him. Breathing heavily in anticipation, I jumped slightly when his fingertips found the middle of my spine. Edward leaned forward, pressing me into the edge of the table, and whispered, "I want you again."

Trembling, I told him that I wanted him too.

"Now?"

"Yes." _Always_.

"Good." His voice was back to being matter-of-fact-like. I listened as he moved the chair he was sitting in back, and stood up, pressing himself against the top of my ass, "...I want you to bend over, baby."

Closing my eyes and smiling, I did as he instructed, resting my elbows on the white cloth dressing the table. His hands stroked down my back, brushing my hair away, and down to my hips. Then they moved around and up, over my breasts. He kneaded them, smirking against the back of my neck as he rolled my nipples between his index fingers and his thumbs. _Damn magic hands_.

Once he turned me into an over-heated, shivering mess, he bent me further over the table, to where my arms were now flat, and my chin rested against the cloth.

I felt him moving himself around, against my heated flesh, and started to beg without my permission, "please?"

"Please what?" _God, he was arrogant, with his smirky voice._

I sighed, growling beneath my breath.

"Do what, baby? Tell me."

I hated the way I had to beg for it.

"Tell me."

And knew he was getting off on this whole dominant shit.

"Talk to me."

Suddenly, I smirked, knowing exactly what I needed to do. _I needed to get this damn thing in my field for once. _Giggling a little, because it's about to be funny, I stood up, pushing him off my back.

"What are y-" he panted, but I cut him off, by moving away from him, and picking up my robe from the floor.

"Bella?"

"Mmm?" I replied nonchalantly, walking out of the kitchen.

"Whare are you going?" he called after me.

"I'm not going to beg you anymore, Edward _Anthony _Cullen." I couldn't help but grin, I knew I was frustrating him.

I could hear him coming after me, "What do you mean, what-"

"I think I'm going to go for a swim and cool off," I said, hearing him pick up his pace. Quickly, I grabbed my duffle bag and ran inside, locking the bathroom door and giggling.

"Isabella Marie Sw-_Cullen_, I don't think you're being rational here. Let me in," he knocked a few times.

_Oh, yes. He was begging._ _ How does it feel?_ "I have no idea what you're talking about," I pulled my two-piece, dark green suit out, and began to dress quickly. "I don't think I'm being irrational at all."

"Can you just please open the door?"

"In a second, I'm almost changed," I bit my lip, to keep from laughing so loud he'd hear me.

"Please babe? Come on..."

"Almost finished."

"It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

"Stop being so impatient."

"You _are _my wife," he continued hastily.

"And you are my husband," I concurred, brushing through my hair with my fingers. _Sex hair_. It was staying. A good temptation for him to serve him right for always getting his way. _Not this time_.

"Baby, sooner or later, you're going to have to come out of this bathroom and then it won't be fun and games anymore."

"Aww, Edward, did I... did I do something to _upset _you?" I grinned, imagining the look on his face behind that door.

He growled in frustration, then exhaled heavily, "You volunteered your... _assistance, _then copped out on me."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I guess you... should have _begged _me."

"I. Don't. Beg."

"Well then," I swung open the door, internally enjoying his lusted eyes checking out my frame in the suit, "guess we're both screwed... Well, not _technically_, but-"

He grabbed me, pulling me against him before I had the chance to get away, "I love you, but you're being a pain in my ass right now."

I licked my lips, brushing back his hair, "if you beg, you can have me."

"I'm not begging."

I faked a yawn, leaning back away from him, as far as I could go in his grip, "I'm actually getting tired, from all the travel and time changes and stuff. Maybe I'll just go to bed, since... I have _no one else_ to do."

"Don't fuck with me."

I bit my lip, enjoying his frustration, "You have no idea how badly I _want _to... _fuck _with you... but you just have to beg fo-"

"Bella."

"Edward."

"_Bella_," his voice showed extreme sexual frustration at this point. "You can't do this to me."

"Do what?" I replied innocently.

"We're on our Honeymoon."

"Mmhmm?"

"And this relationship has been seven years in the damn making."

"And?"

"And you... just... can't do this to me." He was completely flustered, not used to not getting his way. I almost felt sorry for him.

"Just say the words, Edward, and," I stood on my tiptoes, pressing my lips against his left earlobe, "...I'm all yours."

"Or I could just strip you naked and do it anyway. I bet you'll cave and let me."

"You wouldn't dare."

He growled, jerking me to him, his bare erection pressing against my thigh, "Bella, I'm serious."

I giggled, "so am I."

"Then quit fucking laughing." He was starting to sound weak, desperate.

I curled out my bottom lip, fake pouting, "Awe, poor baby, sexually frustrated but can't get his way because he refuses to just beg for what he wants."

"I told you," he replied through gritted teeth, "I don't beg."

"And I don't know what else you want from me," I grabbed his wrists, trying to pull his hands from my hips. I was unsuccessful. "You're starting to give me a bruise here."

He loosened a bit, his jaw clenching, and studied my eyes. Then he leaned toward me and whispered gently, and almost _brokenly_, "..._please _don't make me beg..."

It broke me, listening to the crack of his stature. I lost my upper hand.

Sighing, I rose on my toes and wrapped my arms around his neck, "Edward, you have such a big problem with losing control."

"I know," he frowned, voice soft. "But, I really, _really _want you. You know that. I _always _want you, every damn day, every damn _minute _of every damn day. Isn't that enough, you knowing about it?"

I shrugged, stroking his cheek, making my voice calmer too, "Sometimes it's just nice to _hear _it out loud, and not just have you assume that I _know _it."

He leaned in, closed his eyes, pressed his lips to mine, and murmured softly instead of kissing me. His voice was vulnerable, "I want you. Only you. Forever and ever and ever, every day, every second, with every breath I _breathe_, I want you. I want to be inside of you, always. I want to hear my name fall from your lips, because every single time I do, it's like listening to a beautiful, unforgettable melody for that very first time. I want to make you feel as good physically as you make me feel, in _every _way. I want to express my need for you by making love to you, any chance you'll allow me the opportunity... "

He inhaled me deep, still not kissing me, "I can't explain the drive behind me, pushing me toward you all the time... It's scary as it _is_, knowing you have this power over me, making me want you all the time. I'm absolutely terrified of it, but I can't fucking help it. So... if _that _scares me, imagine how I'd feel if I did give up the tiniest bit of control that I do have over you sometimes? I'd be lost, drowning in a deepless ocean of _Bella _which has endlessly attempted to consume me since the day I met you, and honestly, there'd be no turning back for me if it got to that point... and then I won't have any power over myself anymore. I'd never be able to gain it back. I'd _weaken_. Because you'd have it all."

He sighed, kissing me briefly, then looking me dead in the eyes, "don't you get it Bella? You're braver than me. You're okay with submitting the control over to me, for asking for what you want, with no inhibitions. I wish I could be like you, and I want to, because I admire you so much. I've given you everything else. Every bit of me, my heart, my soul, my mind, it's all yours. But this last tiny bit, _though I want to do it_, I'm... _petrified_. I know you'd never take it for granted and never hurt me but... I just..."

His voice trailed off and he pulled me tighter to him, never peeling his eyes from mine.

I trembled.

_Wow_. I don't know how our moods change so fast, but it always happens. Playful teasing and a change in direction suddenly went to an overwhelming state of mind.

There was a tiny bit of pain in my chest, frightening me, remind me how real this all was. How hurt Edward must have been without me, and how scared he is that, if he lost the control in the way he's terrified of losing it, then what would happen to him if -- _Heaven forbid_ -- something was to happen to me, or this baby we've created, or us? Though I'd never, ever allow it, and would do anything in my power to be with him forever, as I knew he would for me, it sort of terrified _me _also. I knew how much I was in love with him. As everyone around us has mentioned, we're a rare couple. No one else comes close to us. And one second without him seems too long... Being utterly consumed in each other the way that we were, this couldn't be healthy, for either of us.

But it's the way we were; and both of us were fighting _for _it, to have each other always, and yet fighting _against _it, so we'd have a piece of our individuality for ourselves. Because we were _thisclose _to it.

This deep, passionate, endless love is making us do crazy fucking things without our control.

"Be with me," I whispered bluntly, "right now."

Without a word, Edward crashed his lips to mine, desperately. Our mood wasn't flirty and fun any more. Instead, it was something raw, and intense, and inundated. _Was I sacrificing myself over, all the way, this very moment? Was he trying to do the same?_ I didn't know. But something was driving this one out of the water, pushing us further than we've ever been before when we were together. And neither of us were in control.

Edward walked us backward and crashed on top of me, undoing the strings to my top. I helped him with my bottoms, and we tossed the fabric out of the way. No words were exchanged before we started dipping into each other's mouths with kisses. I clung to him, pulling him all the way down to me by his shoulders, and wrapped my legs around his lower waist. Something was pulling at my heart. Making me want to cry. Making me want to pray that we never be seperated again. I didn't like feeling like this -- having this ache inside for him, even _while _I had him.

I knew he had the same one for me, and was just as lost... and when he pulled away, struggling to just breathe, and his eyes found mine, they were misty... something I'd never seen before with him, during a moment of passion.

"Edward," I caressed his chin, inhaling slowly. I wanted to reassure him, somehow. "Everything is okay now. You have me. All right? I'm yours. I'll never go away, I promise."

He chuckled nervously and bent down, burying his face within the side of my neck, and inhaled my scent while he rubbed his nose down my throat, "that's all I've ever wanted."

I closed my eyes, feeling him kiss down my neck. It consumed me when he moved inside of me. With every pull he did, I felt less complete, until he pushed back in as far as possible. I _had _to have that deep connection. I was lost without it. His left arm was under and wrapped around me, his right hand on the pillow by my head, held his weight above me... but this was way more than sex. Maybe it's always been more than just sex with Edward, in his mind, and maybe that's why he wants to do it all the time... Maybe it's how he told himself that I was truly here, maybe it's how he proved to himself that this -- _us _-- was real now, and could never be lost again. Maybe its how he showed me things he couldn't put into words... And maybe that's what he's been trying to tell me all along.

_Holy shit. _

I hugged him, making him put his weight on me, "I just got it," I whispered, chin quivering.

He pulled his face up and looked at me, trapping my chin between his fingers, "you just got what, my love?"

"Us," I willed myself not to cry, emotions of marriage and pregnancy and intimacy overloading me into a blubbering mess, once again, _dammit_. "This. I just got what you said. W-What you meant... I mean, I heard it, but... it just registered, suddenly. Everything. This, what we're doing, it isn't about sex with you... It never has been, has it?"

He shook his head, moving slowly back inside and from me, "Never with you."

I swallowed, forcing myself to keep breathing and not get choked up, "I understand now."

He inhaled and put his face to my neck, kissing my shoulder. I knew he was trying to keep himself together. Hell, I was crying, but I couldn't help it. I was just _happy_. For the first time, in a long time, I was _allowing _myself to _be _happy, and have this moment, and share it with the only love of my life, the only person in this world that mattered.

Edward took his time, kissing away my tears, gliding with me, making sure I was comfortable. He asked me if I was okay, moved my body with his, held me close. I felt like a sponge, absorbing all of him. I wanted his smell and his taste and everything about him to rub off on my skin, and push inside of my body, and just stay with me forever. I didn't want to be me without him anymore.

We made love two more times after that, unable to get enough of each other. And in between those moments, when we got a little rest, we still held each other, not wanting to let go of this, just in case the sky fell from above us and ruined everything.

And when it was all said and done, when our bodies were too exhausted to go for a fifth round in one night, I settled for curling up against his chest and tangling my limbs around his. His left arm under and around me still, his thumb tracing gentle circle along my arm. I nuzzled into his skin, fluttering my lashes there.

"Bella?" His voice was raspy, and startled me a bit, since we had been laying there in silence for the last twenty minutes or so.

"Yes?"

"When you were... intimate... with that first boyfriend of yours, Tyler or whoever, did you ever feel consum-"

"No," I shook my head, kissing his skin, "never."

"Really?"

"Yes. Really. It was just sex."

He kissed the top of my head and hugged me tighter, "It makes me insanely jealous to even think about you with other men, so I'm going to drop that subject as easily as I brought it up. I was just curious for a moment."

I giggled, "I know the feeling. I don't like to talk about you and other girls."

"Do you... think... we should ever talk about our pasts more?"

"Um," I pondered, thinking carefully, "maybe. But let's not do it when we're laying naked in bed together after the most perfect sex of my life."

He snickered, "so far. We still have a few days here. We can talk tomorrow, if you want."

"Yeah," I bit my lip, feeling myself start to doze off, "I can't wait."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

The next day, after breakfast, Bella and I decided to head to the beach and soak up some much needed sun and relaxation. It felt like we had the island to ourselves, and we pretty much did, since anyone else sharing this island was restricted to the other side, no where in the vacinity of seeing us... and that meant... I could get away with a lot of shit.

Which was my plan, exactly.

My grandfather Victor called me when Bella was still asleep, to ask how we were liking it, and to tell me a few 'perks' we get that I wasn't aware of. Basically, those 'perks' consisted of me asking and getting EXACTLY what I wanted, all expenses paid, no holds bar. With that in mind, I set up a 'beach bed' for us, and talked Bella into wearing her bkini without anything to cover herself, and walk with me down there. I threw on some Quicksilver, black and white plaid board shorts and my Raybans. She greeted me in the doorway, hair down, wearing a black, two-piece. The top had a cut in the middle, fringe at the top, and two sets of strings -- one set wrapping around the back, and another going up and behind her neck, which she could remove if she wanted to go strapless. The bottoms were fitting, bow strings on each side. Of course, my wife could look sexy in anything she chose to wore, including a black trash bag. But seeing her in shit like this... the song _'I'm Sprung' _by _T-Pain_ comes to mind every damn time.

I smirked, walking over and placing my hand on her back, "You look nice. Are you all set?"

She smiled up at me and gave me a nod. I grabbed a bag of things we may need, such as water bottles, sunblock, magazines, towels, and led her outside, toward the way. The walk there was nice, with the sun blazing through the tropical trees. We moved slow through the sand trail, listening to the birds flying over us, and the wind, and the ocean crashing in front of us. She smiled, ready to run ahead, as soon as she saw the water. She didn't even notice the sides of the island, just the green-blue sea in front. "It really does look like a Paradise!"

"I told ya," I grinned, ushering her to the bed. The staff did a nice job, meeting every one of my requests. The 'bed' was set up nice, cream sand stacked three inches off the rest of the beach to look like a 'mattress', with two decorative towels, and plump pillows resting above them. Between the pillows was hand-picked tropical fruit in ice, shielded from the sun. To the right was a bucket of ice and Champaign. In front of us were two small tables, with plates and champaign glasses.

"Wow," Bella said, dropping down on the 'bed'. "Did you do all this?"

"I asked for it."

"Incredible," she whispered, stretching her arms over the head and blinking toward the ocean, getting her full view of nothing but clouds and endless water.

I knelt beside her and pulled the sunblock from the bag, before brushing her hair off her shoulders, "let's put some of this on you."

"Edward, I'm tan," she half grumbled, half smiled, "it's not like I'm in High School still and never had the time to get a tan. Seattle has tanning beds. It did wonders for me."

"I know, I know," I kissed the side of her neck, "but the sun is different here, and you've lightened up a bit since the cabin, and I plan to be out here all day, and don't want you coming down with sun poisoning. Humor me, please? Even if it's only on your shoulders and nose."

"Fine," she smiled, curling into me as I massaged the lotion in. "That feels nice."

"Thank you." I allowed her to put some on me as well, even though I was darker than her. I didn't want her to feel inadequate or anything. After that, we took in the full view ahead of us, and she grabbed my hand, pulling me up.

"Come on, we're going in. Do you think the water is warm?"

"Of course. It's ninety some degrees here."

"God, look at all this _SUNSHINE_!" She started to bounce up and down in anticipation.

With one look at her exuberant face, I swept her up sideways, her laughing and screaming, and curled her into my chest, "I hope it's really cold because I'm about to toss you in."

"Don't you dare say that! At least let it be warm."

As I predicted, the water was nothing short of perfection. From a distance, it looks green and blue, but once you get inside, it's practically clear, the ability to see the white sand beneath your toes, the tropical fish swimming in schools, the sparkling shells.

There was not a single soul in site. No one else could see us either.

I carried her out until the water reached my chest. She released and dipped beneath the water then tried to spring up, only to realize she couldn't get her nose or mouth over the water at this depth. I chuckled, pulling her back in my arms, and she wrapped her legs around me. Leaning her head back, she let her hair stay in the water, arms stretched out on her sides, the sun beaming down on her skin. I smiled down at her even though she had her eyes closed, and spun us in a slow circle.

"Ohhh we're in _Heaven_."

"Mmhmm." I spun us around the other way.

"I never want to leave."

"Me neither," I whispered, mesmerized by the clear water trailing over her skin, leaving tiny droplets on her chest and neck.

"Let's just stay and raise our kids here. If we run out of money, we can just live in a little tiki hut and make grass clothes and drink lots of pineapple juice. What do you say?"

"Won't you miss your friends?"

"Nah," she joked, "not that much. Not enough to go back. Besides, we can send them postcards."

I laughed, and bent forward, making sure she didn't drown while I applied a kiss in the dip of her collar bone, "I'll go wherever you go."

We floated and swayed in a gentle silence for the longest time. Even though I knew she was perfectly capable of swimming on her own, there was a part of me that refused to let her go. Not sure if it was because I feared she was too short in this deep of water, or if I just couldn't bare to go without touching her... Whatever reason, she didn't seem to mind, so I didn't bring it up in question.

After an hour or so, I pulled us toward the shallow side, and we sat in the surf, allowing the waves to crash over us. "Edward," Bella whispered. "Let's talk."

"Oh God."

"No," she giggled, leaning her head against my shoulder, "nothing bad, I promise."

"...Mmhmm."

"I promise. Cross my heart. I just wanted to talk. We've been so caught up in drama, drama, run, go, wedding, adjustments, changes, trying to get this house, and everything else... haven't really just had time to sit in one place together and talk about things."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Well... for starters... what are some of your favorite movies since after High School?"

"Shouldn't we have had this conversation before we got married?"

"We didn't have time. And who cares when we have it? It's not like there's anyone here to scold us on our routine of things."

"I don't get into movies that much... But, every once in a while... Let's see. Uh... _Transformers _is pretty high up on the list. And _Live Free Or Die Hard_. Let's see... I don't know. _Godfather, Fight Club_, anything with _Jason Statham _in it is most likely going to kick ass... uh... I can't really think. How about you?"

"Well, you know my love for the classics, so I won't mention those. Um... I love funny movies, like _Knocked Up _and _Just Married_ and movies that literally make you cry from laughing so hard. Okay. Favorite NON-CLASSICAL, has to have lyrics, preferably newer, or just your song of the moment?"

I groaned, laying back in the water, "Let's see... Anything _Kings Of Leon_. Um... Lately, I really like this song called _'You Do Something To Me' _by _Paul _Weller. And if I'm with my buddies and we're being dicks and out in town, then the song of the moment is _'In The City' _by _Kevin Rudolf_. But if I'm with you, or thinking of you, off the top of my head... I'd have to say _'Angels' _by _Robin Thicke_, because it's how I see you, or _'Your Guardian Angel' _by _The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_, because I want to protect you and take care of you. And frankly, both those songs rock, I don't care what anyone says. I'm not afraid to admit it."

Bella laughed, resting her head on my chest, keeping it out of the waves crashing, "Good picks."

"What about you? Song of the moment, song about me?"

"Mmmm, _'Hometown Glory' _by _Adele_, in general, and about you... I'd say, for a long time, even in High School, I used to like... admire you... and I remember liking you when we were friends, then even when we got together, I was just like, _'I don't deserve him', _and I'd listen to _'Come Down To Me' _by _Saving Jane_, on repeat. It was awful, almost embarrassing even -- but... honestly, I still sort of feel that way about you. I don't know how to explain it, but I just love you so much. It's quite sad," she laughed. "If not that, then maybe _'Everything' _by _Lifehouse_, because it sums it all up. You know, sometimes being in love with you, the way that I am, is just... too much, and I feel scared because it surrounds me entirely. And... um... I listen to a lot of songs that remind me of you. Every song I hear reminds me of you Edward, it's sad."

I kissed the top of her head, "it's not sad. I do the same with you at times. Though I'd never admit it allowed to my friends," I laughed.

"Can I ask you a personal question?"

"There are no personal questions when it comes to me. You're my wife. You are free to ask and say whatever you want."

"Okay... what's a song that reminds you of your darkest moments, without me?"

I scoffed, "That's easy. _'Bother' _by _Stone Sour_. Summed my emotions up to a tee."

"That was fast."

"Yeah. I used to fucking _dwell _over that song, being fucking drunk and high and whatever else and just fucking... that song... ugh. When it played, my friends knew I was just... messed up. Which was regularly."

She frowned, looking up at me and resting her chin on my chest, "Was I... I mean... did I have a part in the drugs?"

"Truthfully?"

She gave me a nod.

I gave her one back. "Yeah. I hope this doesn't come out the wrong way, but... you were the main reason I started snorting coke."

Bella's shoulders dropped, and she frowned, mumbling, "I thought so... How did it... happen?"

I took a deep breath, shrugging. I wasn't sure what I wanted to tell her. Wasn't sure how she'd react, and if she could understand that this was all a very dark past that I wanted to keep in the dark... but I knew she was curious, and couldn't blame her. Everyone was that didn't know.

"Uh... well... as previously mentioned, you were in every thought I had, and I couldn't escape you sober. So, I met a few people that had it, tried it, liked the fact that I could have a few minutes of peace from my thoughts and fears and regrets, and then in the middle of it, I'd be thinking of you again, then the comedown would be so bad that, in a way, I was thankful to deal with the pain instead of thinking about you, once more. So then I'd do it again. Get my fifteen minutes without my problems, then see you, then comedown in mind-numbing pain without you again."

"How... bad did it get? I mean, I heard about the time Emmett found you, but... any others?"

I hesitated, catching a glimpse of her eyes. She was too curious for her own damn good, "I worry that you're going to look at me differently if I keep tal-"

"Never, Edward. I just... I don't know, I just _want _to know. I feel like I _need _to know... but if you can't tell me, then I'll understand."

Licking my lips, I exhaled, giving into her sweet fucking eyes, "Uh... there was this one time when I was... _with _someone else... and this whole, like, crazy thing happened. Like, one minute, it was her, then it was you, then it was her, then it was you, then it was you, and you again, and then you some more, then right when I'd convinced myself it really _was _you, it was her again. I was really, really beyond fucked up that day, but... it messed me up, big time. I stopped and left her at my house, and just fucking took off, running down the Seattle strip, all the fifteen blocks uphill to Emmett's place, and just fucking lost it. It took him forever to calm me down. It was a serious bad trip. It was the last bad trip I had, before the _really _bad... last time."

"Were you with Tanya?"

I nodded solemnly.

"Were you two..."

I frowned, nodding again. "Yeah, but it was like that all day, no matter what we were doing."

"...Oh..."

"Yeah.... I'm sorry."

"Wow... that is weird but... kind of sweet, in a creepy kind of way."

I laughed, shaking my head, "Dear _God_, Bella, you are seriously morbid. The times I think you're going to deck me and run are the times you find it _'sweet'_. I worry about you, I truly do."

She shrugged, crawling up my body, and straddling me. A wave hit her back and she fell forward, about knocking the wind out of me, thanks to her elbow to my diaphragm. "Wanna know a bad moment of mine?"

"Sure," I snickered. "It may make me feel better."

"I shouted out your name when I was _with_... Tyler. Oh, and I called Jasper _'Edward'_, in the cabin, when he and I were together. Not when we were having sex because we never did, but I think I was drunk when I did it. And of course you know a little about my breakdown. Mmm... that's all I can think of for the moment."

"So you said my name when you were sleeping with someone else?"

She nodded, almost proudly.

I shook my head, "I guess I should feel honored but... I hate the idea of another man naked around you."

She laughed, "It happens. Just like with you and girls. I hate it, but it happened."

"Thank God it doesn't ever have to fucking happen again," I chuckled. "Now, you're stuck with my dick. I hope you don't get sick of it anytime in the next... ten decades. By that time, I'll be a hundred and twenty three, and highly doubt I'd be able to get it up after that... but you never know."

She buried her face in my neck, her soaked hair falling over my face, "I don't think I'll ever get sick of it... but then again, with as much pounding as you'll probably do, I hope it won't fall off or anything."

"Isabella, don't you _ever _say anything like that again," I growled playfully, before rolling us over, me above her, holding her head out of the water, "if yours _or _mine falls off, I will be absolutely _devastated_. I'm not even kidding."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing that we'll be working those muscles a lot between now and a hundred and twenty three. Because they say, if you work out, your muscles will be stronger... so... it'll pay off."

"Phew," I exhaled teasingly, "you really had me upset for a moment. It'd make me so depressed if I couldn't fuck you every day, or at least go down on you all the time."

Of course, that got her to blush. Typical Bella.

"What?" I teased playfully, running the tip of my nose down her jaw, "Why are you blushing?"

"You know why."

"Blushing in a sense means embarrassed or even overwhelmed, and when I'm doing that to you, you don't seem embarrassed."

"W-well, that's because, I... well at first I am nervous when you... but then it just... w-why are you messing up my thoughts?"

I laughed, squeezing her up to my chest, "I'm sorry."

"No you're not."

I sighed, smiling against her skin, "You're right... I love making you blush."

"I know you do."

"I bet I can do it now."

"You all ready did."

"I bet I can make you blush harder."

I felt her tense beneath me, "Edward Cullen, what are you plotting inside that mind of yours?"

I bit my lip and pulled her and myself up. Ignoring her questions and grunts, I carried her overheated body back into the water, until it came up to her chin. She studied me for a moment, trying to figure out why I let her go and separated us for a moment... That was, until she saw me bend down and then pull my trunks up out of the water, and toss them toward the shore.

Then her face got as red as a cherry tomato. She comprehended what I was about to start, and made a turn for a quick exit.

"Oh no you don't," I chuckled, grabbing her by the waist and pressing her up against my chest, "you're staying right here with me."

"Edward, this is a public place, and-"

"Bella, this is an island, no one's on this side, not even the staff unless I call them. No one is going to see. And if they do, fuck it. They'll have a good show."

"B-"

I spun her around to face me and undid the strings to her top, pulling it off of her before she could object, "No but's. I want you. Right now."

She bit her lip, covering her chest, "are you... sure about this?"

"Absolutely. Unless you don't want to. I _can _wait, love." I hated feeling like I was pressuring her; it wasn't my intention.

She looked around us, doing a quick circle in the water as she scanned as far as her eyes could see. Then she stopped in front of me.

Before I could speak, she threw herself in my arms, peppering kisses on my lips feverishly. I grinned against her mouth, tugging the strings of her bottoms at the same time. Once I had tossed that with the other two articles of our clothing, I pulled us in deeper, and she wrapped her legs around me. It didn't take us long to situate ourselves with the waves helping lift her body and lower it. Of course, since we were in water, I didn't force myself inside; instead opting to take it slow and kiss her genuinely. I didn't want to hurt her. She hummed in my mouth, allowing me to press her stomach to mine, combining our bodies, me slowly filling all of her.

Again, we stilled for a moment, and she pulled her face back to look at me, "You feel _really _good inside of me, Edward."

_And another coin goes into the ego piggy bank. _ Grinning, I pulled her face to me, kissed her vigorously, and she rocked her hips to and from mine. Instantly, we fell into a steady rhythm. I held her, lifting and gliding her, while she bit down on my bottom lip and yanked at my hair. Without realizing it, I twisted us a certain way, and with the waves crashing against her back and forcing her up against me, it _really _helped us when we started to speed up, enamored by the sensations and that damn electricity bouncing between us.

We were right where the wave breaks occur, and with the sounds of the ocean, our surroundings, the gentle breeze, the water swirling around us and rubbing against our skin, and the connections we were able to make at this angle... _Fuck_. Bella clawed at my shoulders, gasping in my mouth. I slipped my tongue inside, and held her face to mine, deepening our kiss. With her legs wrapped around me, her heels digging into the back of my legs, and the force of the water, she really had to do nothing but squeeze and relax her legs, and I was easily pulled and pushed within her. Both her hands were at my shoulders and my hair, while my left was on the small of her back, and my right behind her neck, holding her face to mine.

I sucked in her bottom lip and released it, before panting in her face. My entire body started to shake, and I burried my face in her neck, ignoring the water splashing up in my eyes. I was close. It was all around me, the gripping pull of sex. My ears echoed. My body was tensed. All I heard was water crashing and her breathing. All I felt was the warmth of her body, wetness all around, and the sun crashing down on us. But inside.. I was a bottle rocket.

Bella panted, gripping the back of my neck, "Edw- ... I-I can't. I'm gonna..."

I didn't even move. All I did was breathe her in one last time, and something within the atmosphere set us both off, because we clutched to each other and just rode it out together, the waves providing a sense of prolonging to our release. Neither of us said a word -- I'm not sure if we could speak if we tried -- the mere sound of inhaling and exhaling tentatively was the only sound around.

It felt like an enormous rush of power surged through every hair follicle and cell in my body. My brain couldn't even respond to what had happened. I felt almost _disoriented _from the aftershocks. It was fucking great.

Bella giggled, pulling herself up into my chest, pressing her cheek on the side of mine, "Edward, I think that was about fifty _'wow_'s'in a matter of a minute. Are you okay?"

"Huh?" I panted, placing my chin on her shoulder.

"You keep saying _'wow'_."

"I am?"

"Yeah."

I chuckled lightly, then turned my face in toward her skin, "I wasn't aware that I was even speaking."

She giggled again, sighing and hugging me tight, "Well then I'll take that as I did my job very well."

I stretched my body and leaned back in the water, careful not to pull her under, "I think I need a cigarette."

"When was the last time you had one?"

"Before we got married."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm. I'm... trying to cut back."

"Why?"

"You."

"Me? But I never asked you to qu-"

"I know," I opened my eyes and looked at her, "but with the baby and everything... I mean... I still smoke but I'm trying to lessen the intake."

"I'm proud of you."

I chuckled, pulling her up my chest, "Don't say that yet. All it takes is one bad day at work or something, and I'll be back to fucking chain smoking."

"Well," she hugged me tight, "I'm proud you're making the effort."

"Thanks angel."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Once we were waterlogged enough to almost make our limbs go numb, we pulled ourselves out of the water -- Edward running ahead so he could grab my suit, because he knew I wouldn't dare leave the vicinity of this water without it -- we laid out and baked for a few hours, drinking water and a glass of champaign (Edward drinking most of mine), and ate some fruit. It felt a little odd, not having to worry about our friends or family or the phone ringing or getting ready for work.

All we had to do was nothing. And though it wasn't something we could ever do back home... Here, it was nice.

Edward laid on his stomach while I laid on my back, my arm covering my face from the sun. Edward opened his eyes and pressed a finger to my arm, "We need to go inside soon. You're getting too hot."

"Too hot?"

"Mmhmm," he leaned up on his elbows, "your body temperature can't go past a hundred and two, or it could be bad for our baby."

"Do you have all this stuff memorized?"

"Yes. Part of the job."

I moved closer to him and kissed his warm shoulder, "You're toasty too."

"We've been out here a while. Wanna go inside?"

"Do we get to have more sex later?" I teased.

He smirked, leaning toward my face and whispered, "we can have as much sex as you want, Bella."

"Well," I shrugged, trying to play it off, "we had sex about three hours ago... That's enough recoup time, wouldn't you think?"

He grinned, "Mmhmm."

"But," I pondered, wheels turning inside my head, "I think we should wait a _little _while longer."

His face dropped, "Why?"

"Because, I want to go inside, have a nice cool shower, get dressed up, go out to eat at that restaurant overlooking the pool, and then maybe let you have a few drinks... I have a plan."

"What do you mean, you have a plan?"

"I mean I have a plan."

"What does _said plan _include?"

"You not knowing until it happens. I didn't know about the 'beach bed', and I loved it. It's going to be a... kind of surprise."

"Bella..," he replied warily, probably sorting out his options. "I'm not sure if I like this idea."

"You will by the end, I think."

"B-"

"No but's," I climbed up to my feet and slipped on my flip flops, "get up, we need to go get our showers."

"Can we take one together?"

"Nope."

He glared at me, "I think your plan won't be much fun if I can't even take a shower with my wi-"

"Edward, stop being a baby and come on."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

About an hour and a half later, we met up in the front doorway again. Not only was he un-allowed to shower with me, but was also banned from seeing me while I got ready afterward. My instructions were for him to _'put on something nice' _and then _'be a good boy'_ while he waited on me.

He basically pouted the entire time.

I pulled my hair back, allowing my bangs to sweep to the side and fall where they may, as well as a few stray pieces behind my neck. Makeup included minimal bronze eye-shadow and lots of mascara. I wore a strapless summer baby-doll dress, a bit chaotic with it's design. Large splashes of cool blue and mint green, but with traces of warmer colors as well, orange and pink, here and there, resembling a tropical beach during the warmest moment of a settling sun. My sister purchased it for me as a Honeymoon gift. I matched it with some metallic back-strap heels. My 'Gemini' necklace was returned to my neck, and the only rings worn were my wedding set... it was enough to melt my heart, just seeing the set on my finger. Surreal, but extremely important to me. I liked being 'marked' like that; I enjoyed showing who I belonged to.

I found Edward sitting on the sofa, staring at the blank flat screen television. He was dressed in slick, black, button-down shirt, under a grey cream jacket, with dark black slacks. His bronzed hair was perfected without even trying, and as soon as he saw me, he proudly showed me the most beautiful crooked grin of all of his in history. I beamed at him, shaking my head. It was so easy to get lost in him.

"Do a spin."

"Huh?" I giggled, walking toward him.

Edward stood, twirling his finger in a circle, as he said charmingly, "Please baby? Do a spin for me?"

I blushed and spun around.

"Mmm," he shook his head, stepping toward me, "absolute perfection." He wrapped his arms around me and placed a kiss to my forehead, "Tell me baby. How did I get so lucky?"

I bit my lip, refusing to answer in embarrassment, "I'm sorry that it took me so long to get ready. I wanted to... I mean, I know this sounds silly, but I wanted to look pretty for you."

He raised my chin and melted me with his emerald eyes, "Pretty does not begin to describe you. You... my life... are absolutely breathtaking."

Lifting on my toes, I kissed his chin, "thank you. You clean up well too."

"Well," he chuckled, handing me my clutch, "I did have time to perfect the curls."

I giggled, taking his hand.

He led me out the back door, onto a stone path, "I hope you don't mind if we walk. Will that be all right? I didn't think about the heels you'd be wearing..."

"No, no, it's fine," I put his hand between both of mine and pressed my cheek to his shoulder as we walked, "these are low heels. I don't think I'll break my neck in them tonight."

"Mmm, you never can tell, love."

Part of the island felt like we were in a magical jungle, with the sounds of rustling in the trees and the birds and grasshoppers... but with the tiki lights guiding our way, and the ocean crashing on our right, it also felt like something out of a storybook. _But it was real._

"So, Isabella _Cullen_," he pulled me tighter into his side, "tell me about this little plan of yours. Am I included?"

"Most definitely."

He smirked, "Do I get a reward at the end of it?"

"If you behave and participate, you do."

"Are you going to tell me what the main act of this plan is?"

"Nope. Wait... Is that _all _you've been thinking about since we left the beach?"

"Yes," he replied earnestly, "I've been wrecking my brain, trying to come up with ideas."

"What have you thought so far?"

He shrugged, chuckling lightly, "Honestly, pretty pretentious things. I believe none of them are even in the correct vicinity of your plan though."

"Humor me," I nudged his ribs.

"Uh," he smirked, looking toward the stones, "Well... I was hoping for sex, but I figured if it were about sex, you'd blush and give something away."

Him saying that gave me an idea, about what Emmett showed me in the stairwell before the ceremony, "Can I ask you something?"

He gave me a nod.

"Is there anything... sexually... that we haven't done, that you want to... explore?"

Edward grinned, stopping us in the middle of the path.

I turned toward him, my heart racing out of control. I was absolutely intoxicated by his scent, his looks, his stature, and that _smile_. Dear God.

"Is there a reason you're asking? Is this part of the plan?"

"Come on," I stepped closer, trying to control myself from attacking him and knocking us in the dirt, "we're supposed to be open with each other."

He licked his lips, "One of them you all ready know."

"Which is?"

He pressed his chest against mine, ran his hands down my sides, and around, gripping handfuls of my butt, "this. Mmm."

Trying (and failing) not to blush, I shook my head, inhaling, "why is that such a big deal?"

His grin grew wider, "trust me. It's a _huge _deal. For a lot of reasons."

"Such as..?"

"Such as, first of all, it really shows how much you trust me. Because it could be very painful if not done correctly... but then again, if you put trust in someone and are at ease with them, then it can be wonderful... for both participants. Secondly, for me, it would feel so ..." his voice trailed off, and he shook his head, "We better stop talking about this before I lose control of myself."

"What do you mean, lose con-"

He pulled me against him, and I felt something hard hit my hip.

"...Oh."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Don't be," I ran my fingers across his jaw, "I like it."

He kissed the side of my cheek and then turned in. Before I could control myself, I pressed my responsive chest against him and stuck my tongue in his mouth, yanking on his hair. He was like a drug. I couldn't stop to save my life.

But as soon as I let out an involuntary moan, he pulled away, cleared his throat and began to curse under his breath, "damn, Bella, fuck..."

"What?"

He took a deep breath and let it out, relaxing himself, "I'm trying to be all suave and charming and respectful tonight... Take you out to a nice dinner, romance you a little, and sweep you off your feet... I wanted to try and be that guy you fell in love with again... And yet here, fifteen minutes into our walk toward the restaurant, and you've got my mind filled with derogatory thoughts of different ways I want to take you in bed, _and _sporting wood." He scoffed, sighing, "So much for being charming."

"Edward," I pulled him toward me, intertwining my fingers between his, "Don't say that you're _'trying to be that guy I fell in love with'. _You _are _that guy I fell in love with. All of him. Trust me, my mind is filled with sex all the time, just as yours... Probably even more, to be honest. You think you're the only one who is constantly turned on and wanting sex? Trust me. You're not. In fact, ever since I've been pregnant, my hormones are just like... all the time, thinking of you naked. I can't stop. I'm growing addicted to it. It's terrible."

He shook his head, scooped his hands beneath my arms, and lifted me in the air. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, while he pressed me up against his body.

"Baby, I really... really... love you. I hit the jackpot with you. So many men, especially married men, come into the office complaining how their girls are pregnant and they don't ever get any... And honestly, that was a fear of mine... but here you are, telling me the words I've been dying to hear and... damn. This conversation is not doing me any better with this condition."

I giggled as he put me back to the ground, and held myself to him still, "I want you Edward. I always will."

He pressed his lips to my nose, then my cheek, then my lips, lingering there a moment. Then he pulled back slightly, locked eyes with me, and whispered tenderly, "Same here."

"Good. Let's go eat."

He kissed me once more, then turned us back toward the restaurant, "Are you going to tell me about the plan?"

"Oh yeah, the plan," I smiled, "first, tell me more things you want sexually."

He hesitated, "Bab-"

"Edward, just do it."

He drew in a breath, pondering, "Okay... let's see... I want to try anal sex, as mentioned. I really thing you're going to like it. Oh, and I want you to let me lick you there too. And I w-"

"What?" I stopped, blushing and covering my mouth. I couldn't help it. _It was one thing to hear about Rose and Jake doing it. It was a whole other to hear my husband declare it as something on his 'dream list'._

He looked at me like I turned into a million-piece puzzle, "What what?"

"What did you just say?!" _Full-on blush mode now._

He bit his lip, stepping toward me, "I don't remember. You're scaring me, are you ok-"

"You said you wanted to lick me... _there_."

"And?"

"_Edward_!"

"What?!"

"Oh my..." I shook my head, hiding it in my hands, "I didn't... I mean I thought that maybe you... but then I... and... It's so weird to hear you actually _say _it."

"You _asked _me."

"But... _why _would you want to do something like that?!"

"Why not?"

"It's.. ew... It's... and... you know... where I... you know... and..."

"Bella, stop mumbling."

"It's _that _area! Why would you want to put your _mouth _near it?"

He chuckled, pulling me closer to him, "Because it'd be hot."

"It would so _not _be h-"

"Yes the fuck it would. Bella. Come on. You're clean, I love every single milimeter of you. There's not a single place on your body I don't want to lick. I swear on it."

"But it's so taboo, and-"

He chuckled nervously, "I didn't mean to freak you out, but you asked me. I didn't think it was going to upset you."

"I'm flabbergasted, not necessarily upset."

"So... that means you're considering it?" His face grew hopeful. _Weirdo_.

"I didn't say that."

"Bella," he stepped closer, leaning toward my face, "allow me to demonstrate something with you."

I put my hands over my butt, trying to step away, "don't you da-"

"Just come here," he laughed, "I wasn't going to molest your ass. Just come here."

Narrowing my eyes at him, I wearily took a step closer.

Edward leaned in, clutching my face in his hands, "open your mouth."

I shook my head.

"Please?" The prick began to rub his warm, inviting, silk bottom lip between mine, his fingers massaging my neck, "Please baby?" he whispered again. "Please open your mouth."

Sighing, I did as he asked, clutching his jacket under my fingernails. Shuddering, I watched as he stuck his tongue out, and without pressing his lips to mine, he slowly licked from the tip of my tongue, all the way in as far as he could, then flipped his tongue to where the underside touched the top of mine, and ran it back down. Then he swirled it around the tip of mine, and finally, excruciatingly slow, he kissed my lips. He did this a few more times, just as slow and intense. By the time he pulled away, I couldn't close my mouth, and was pretty sure I needed to change my panties.

"Mmm," his voice was seductive, and low, "did that feel good to you?"

I nodded, memorized by the sensations still tingling on my tongue, and his bright green eyes.

"And it feels good when I do it..." His hands trailed down and he turned them to where his palms touched the insides of my thighs, "..around here, too?"

I nodded, trembling into his touch.

"Then I guarantee you it will feel just as good anywhere else..." he leaned toward me, and I opened my mouth more, praying he'd do it again. He ran his hands down my thighs, then around and squeezed my ass, his mouth a mere centimeter from mine, "including here..."

I closed my eyes, feeling my nipples harden against his chest, wishing I was wearing a bra. I couldn't help the soft moan that escaped my lips as he squeezed my ass. It took all the willpower I had not to jump him... But I did have to squeeze my legs together, because I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't. _Why did he make me feel this way?! Why was it, that no matter how repulsive something would sound to the 'traditional' version of myself, whenever he said it, it made me want to think about it?_

He gripped me tighter, pressing his hips into mine.

"Edward," I shuddered, my breath short, "do it again... The tongue thing..."

He pressed his lips to mine, muttering, "right now?"

I nodded, practically begging for it.

"Right here?" he continued to tease, knowing damn well what he was doing to me.

"Yes," I whimpered. "Please?"

"Mmmm," he kissed my top lip, then my bottom, and gave me the slightest touch on the tip of my tongue with his own before pulling away, "...soon, Bella."

"_Edward_," I growled, not letting go of his jacket, "you're... _please_... just do it."

"We need to go eat first. All good things come to those wh-"

"Who do the tongue thing to my mouth now. I guarantee you that if you do it now, there's no doubt in my mind that I'm going to _come_."

Edward stilled himself, tilting his head as he looked down to me, "How are you so bashful one moment, then turn into _this _the next?"

"Well," I scoffed, "You frustrate me!"

He smirked arrogantly, "I think I'm going to piss you off more often."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

To sum it up... Dinner was really nice. I didn't really pay much attention, to be honest. Edward was chivalrous as always, pulling out my chair for me, making sure everything was 'to par' with the order, cutting my steak for me, feeding me bites of his. He ordered Sparkling Sweet Apple Cider, as well as Strawberry-Colleta wine. The restaurant behind the main office was beautiful. Our table was surrounded in every direction by a lit up pool, the night sky open above us in all directions, soft blues music playing in the background, the ocean crashing against the cliffs in the distance. Though the dinner was delicious, all I could taste in my mouth was Edward. And though the scenery was to die for, all that I saw was Edward's smile, and his perfect white teeth, and his tongue bouncing when he laughed, or moving when he licked his lips.

Basically, he mind-fucked me earlier with that little, teasing, tongue performance thing, and I became completely transfixed with anticipation of what _may _happen later. So much, in fact, that when we'd talk, he had to steer me back into the conversation, because I kept getting side-tracked by his beautiful eyes, or his charming side-smile, or the way he winked at me when I tried a sip of his wine earlier.

"Bella," he chuckled, sitting back in his chair, "you can drink a glass. It's low-proof. It won't hurt you or the baby."

"No, I'm fine," I smiled. " I just wanted to try it."

He frowned, "I don't like drinking without you though."

"Why not?"

He shrugged, "lots of reasons. Do you mind if I smoke? The wind is blowing away from you, but if you do, I can just w-"

"No, I don't mind," I reassured him. "Tell me your reasons."

He lit his cigarette and inhaled deep, pausing for a moment. I watched as the smoke lingered on his lips, his tongue licking the inside of the bottom one, taunting me. He grinned and blew it out away from me, shaking his head, "you don't know how good it feels to finally have one of these."

"I bet," I laughed. "So? Tell me."

"Well," he leaned forward, clearing his throat, "I think I'd feel awkward, if I were to be tipsy, or drunk, and you weren't drinking. I mean, in Seattle that one night, it was okay because... Well, I just had a feeling it'd be fine. But I like to protect you. To be alert. I don't want to be intoxicated and then have something happen to you, and not be able to respond as quickly, since I wouldn't be stable."

"Edward, you honestly worry too much. You over-analyze. Nothing is going to happen. And this is your Grandfather's island, or whatever. You've even been here yourself, I'm assuming. So, I mean, you don't have to worry. Unless a Tsunami hits and drowns us both, I'm going to be fine." _Besides, _I thought to myself_. I need you to be drunk for my plan to work_. "So," I continued, refilling his glass, "drink up, buttercup."

I kept Edward distracted, and kept him in a good mood. An hour later, that bottle of wine was gone, and a new bottle (with a higher alcohol percentage, though he didn't know it it) arrived, and I began to serve him with that one as well.

"Isabella," he stretched his arms out, revealing a piece of his stomach to me, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to get me drunk."

I grinned at him, choosing to not reply to that.

He took another sip and lit another cigarette, "Is that what you're trying to do?"

I shrugged, playing dumb.

He blew out a ring, "answer me please."

"No."

"No, you're not trying to get me drunk, or no, you're not going to answer me."

I shrugged again, smiling wider.

He smirked, shaking his head, "guess it doesn't really matter at this point. You know you're going to win regardless, with whatever scheme you have going in that beautiful enigmatic mind of yours."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

By the time Edward's eyes were glazed over, it was stretching toward one in the morning. We stayed at the restaurant until about eleven, then, with fresh bottle in hand, Edward and I took a walk on the beach. Though he tried as hard as possible to stand up tall and look sober, I knew he was a shade in the wind gone now, if not a few shades.

Edward turned me into his side, so I didn't trip over the rock a few feet in front of me, "Come here," he whispered. "I'll protect you."

I giggled, squeezing him tight, "Do you know where we're even at? Because I'm the sober one, and I'm lost."

"I know where we're at. We're in the Maldives."

"No, I understand _that_," I nudged him, "but where at on the _island_? Where's our place?"

"It's up ahead. Hey Bella, I need to tell you something."

"Okay."

Edward stopped us, ignoring the water that passed his shoes and my heels, soaking the ends of his pants, "This is _very _important, so I need to be looking at you when I say it."

I tried not to laugh as I helped balance him, "Okay. I'm ready."

"Are you ready?"

"I'm ready."

"Okay. Isabella Marie _Cullen_..."

"...Yes?"

He tilted his head, grinning down to me, "Will you marry me?"

"Edward," I laughed, throwing my head back, "we just got married two days ago."

"I know," he stepped closer, placing his hands on my hips, "but I want to marry you _again_."

"How can we get married when we're all ready married?"

"Mmm..." he thought, looking drunkenly adorable, "maybe it's not legal over here, so we can do it twice? You know, a different country and all."

I inhaled his scent, pressing my face into his chest, "You're crazy."

"Besides," he bent down, so he was my height, "think of all the consummation sex we could have... making our multiple marriages legit."

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and I laughed, "Well, all the more reason, I suppose."

"Exactly." He lifted me out of the water, and I wrapped my legs around him, "Baby, I wish I could get you pregnant again. Right now."

"What?" I laughed. "I am pr-"

"No, I'm serious. I really do."

"Why?"

"Because I love you being pregnant. It's pretty much made me smile every day -- except for when I'm stressed -- no, no, even then, it still makes me smile. It's what I look forward to. I love coming home, and seeing you there, and knowing my future is with you. Not having to worry anymore about losing you. I just love to look at you, love seeing your stomach, love seeing your face, and touching your body, and putting my hand on your belly, and going to your doctor's appointments with you, because it's different when I'm at work, and when it's mine in there, you know? ...I love talking about it -- well, most of the time, unless our family members ask us the same damn question, over and over and over and over again, because that gets annoying -- and I just love everything. I love the wonder of it all, if it's a boy or girl, what it will look like..."

"But," he continued, "I mean... I just wish I _knew _I was getting you pregnant when I was getting you pregnant. I would have done it differently, I think. Put on some special moves. I know you and I weren't together at the time, and maybe that's a reason, but... I don't know. I know I'm not making sense. I'm... you know, drunk. I mean, I'm trying, but..." Edward sighed, pressing his forehead to mine, "I just wish that I would have known. Not that I wouldn't have allowed it, because of course, I'm happy things turned out the way they did, but I just wish I would have known."

"I know what you mean," I whispered, though I was only partially sure I knew what he was saying.

"Bella," he kissed my forehead, "I would have done a lot of things differently, if I knew that you were going to be in my life again. I wouldn't have done things when we split, I wouldn't have been so foolish, I wou-"

I covered his mouth, "Shh. It doesn't matter."

Gently, he pulled my hand down, and frowned, "I've done some pretty awful things, Bella. Things people, even Emmett and Alice, doesn't even know. I've been an absolute ass-"

"It doesn't matter," I reassured him, cradling his face, "I promise, no matter what, I will never, ever look at you differently. Edward, I'm happy. You're happy. Let's just _be _happy, okay? I don't want to dwell over the past. I don't want to say _coulda, woulda, shoulda_ anymore. I just want to live in the moment with you, and know that no matter what happened or didn't happen during the journey, that we were _always _meant to share the same ending. This was always meant to be, and you were always meant to be mine."

Edward wrapped his arms around my lower waist, and staying bent down, pulled me into him, "...All right. I'll try. I just hope you don't regret me again, like you did when we broke up."

I kissed his lips tenderly, and whispered, "Even then, I didn't regret you. I only regretted the things we did to hurt each other."

"Me too."

"Well," I smiled against his lips, "we can change all of that now... Are you ready for my plan to start?"

"Mmhmm," he nuzzled against my neck, his sour mood vanishing just as quickly as it came, "but I think I'm drunk."

"Good," I whispered. "That was the point."

Instantly he pulled his face back, amusement in his glazed eyes, "Wait, what? You wanted me to be drunk? This was set up?"

"Yes."

"Bella, why would you-"

"I needed you to relax."

"Oh, no, oh, whoa, hoooo, wait a minute!" Laughing, Edward leaned back to look up at the sky, but lost his balance. I tried to catch him, but wasn't quick enough, and the next thing I knew, he was down on his back on the sand, me on top of him, the water washing over us, sand seeping in my dress, breeze catching our damp skin, the whole nine yards. Edward burst out laughing, splashes of water hitting our faces, his body rocking below mine. "That was... not planned."

I couldn't stop laughing, and the waves kept hitting us, pushing us toward the beach. "Ohh, my dress!"

He laid his head down, globs of sand and pebbles floating in his hair, "well, this is one step ahead."

"What are you talking about?!"

He looked up at me and grinned mischievously, "I... don't have to do too much to get you wet."

Then he winked at me.

"Edward," I slapped his chest playfully, "you're such a-"

Before I could blink, he had us flipped over, him on top of me, making sure my head didn't go under the water, "such a wonderful... charming... loving husband, right? That's what you were going to say?"

"Don't forget drunken," I teased.

"Yeah. Drunken too."

I giggled, wrapping my arms around him, "we should get going if we want my plan to begin."

"Or," he growled playfully, pushing into my center and pressing his hot lips to my left ear, "I can just do you right here."

I bit my lip, shaking my head, both arguing with him and myself, since I wanted him so badly, "we need to be inside."

"Ohhhh I have plenty of plans of being inside."

"Inside the _house_, Edward."

"Mmmm," he slipped his hand between us, dragging it up my right thigh, "...I think right here is just as good."

I trembled, feeling the salty sea water crash over us, and his fingers scraping along the fabric between my legs, "we... can't here."

He kissed below my chin, trailing down, toward my collar bone, "yes we can."

I gasped as his fingers pushed into the lace, torn between allowing him to just take me here, and regaining back my control. _Shit. Control. That was the entire point. _ I slipped my hand between us and grasped his wrist firmly, "Edward, stop."

Instantly, his hand stopped, and he pulled his face back to look at me, "I'm sorry, did I h-"

"No, no, but we need to go _inside_."

"Do you not want to-"

"Of course I want to, but I have a plan, and I have to stick to the plan. Which means, the faster we get there, the faster the plan can go into motion. So please. Just... trust me, and let's get back."

He swallowed hard and nodded, pulling us up out of the water. Our clothes, now weighing close to a thousand pounds, clung to our bodies and soaked us with more water as we tried to ring them out. We were both pretty quiet the rest of the way back. He didn't seem mad, but I knew what was going on in his mind. He didn't like being in the unknown. He liked it when _he _had the plan, when _he _had the control.

But tonight... tonight was going to change everything. He told me last night that he wanted to give up his control to me, that he wanted to be like me when it came to being so free. And tonight, he was going to get that chance. I just had to muster up the courage to do what was in my mind.

When we arrived back, I quickly pulled him into the bedroom, and started to get him going. Kissing him passionately, rubbing across his chest, playing with his hair, pressing myself against his body. I kissed, and licked, and teased, until he was breathless and grinding himself into me. I pushed him onto the bed, and crawled up between his legs, continuing my path to get him up toward the headboard. His hands found my hips and he aggressively pulled me on top of him, panting sweet breath across my face, "Come here sexy."

I shook my head, trying to pull his hands away, "not yet."

"B-"

I covered his mouth and maneuvered my way out of his grasp, "just... wait here a second. I'm going to be right back."

"B-" he tried to object again.

I kissed his lips gingerly, "one second. Don't you dare move."

Of course, he started to, so I made my point crystal clear, by grabbing the two scarfs I forgot (or planted earlier before we left) on the nightstand. I put my breasts in his face, making sure he was distracted by the cleavage showing on top of the dress, and tied his wrist. Then the other. By the time I climbed off of him, he was unable to move, and the headboard had become his new best friend. I beamed on the inside, because I just took control over him.

Bending down, I kissed his mouth, making sure to lick along his bottom lip seductively. "Like I said," I whispered against his mouth, "don't you dare move."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

It took me about ten seconds after I watched Bella walk out of the double doors and into the bathroom to realize I had been tied up. For a second, I pondered begging and pleading, but knew that'd make me weak. So instead, I thought back to confessing how I wanted to give myself to her, and tried my damndest to just relax. _She's not going to keep you tied up, Edward._

Fucking boobs. This all could have been avoided if I didn't get distracted by her swollen, plump, succulent breasts. I groaned, feeling myself press against the trapments of my pants. Normally, when Bella would excuse herself to the restroom for a moment, this would be the time where I'd either will myself to calm down, or alleviate some pressure. But tonight, I didn't have the option, since my fucking wrists were tied. "You know," I said toward the door, caving into myself, "this whole tying me up thing isn't working for me."

I heard her giggle softly, and something unzip, "It's working great for _me_."

"You're not going to keep me tied up forever. Just remember that. If I wasn't so drunk, I'd be able to rip this fucking fabric and then you'd be in some serious trouble."

"Well," she teased, and I knew she was smiling even though I couldn't see her face, "good thing you're drunk then."

"And I _will _sober up, Isabella." I tried to make my voice sound threatening, but in my drunken stupor, it basically sounded like a run-on slurring sentence. Not exactly what I was going for, to say the least.

The room got very silent. I couldn't hear any motions going on in the bathroom. There was no lights on, except for the dim ones from the pool surrounding the bedroom, and the low yellow light in the corner of the room. I shuddered, feeling pretty damn vulnerable. I hated not being in control. I _despised _it.

I tried to focus on the waterfall to my left, distant from the glass surrounding us. I tried to listen to my breathing and keep it at a steady pace. I tried to think of anything I could to distract me. Nothing was working. I could feel the restraints around my wrists. I could feel the veins tightening inside my arms and hands. I could feel the pulsing in each of my fingertips.

I knew that if I tried really hard, I could probably still rip these scarfs. And I knew I wanted to. But, there was also a part of me, that... wasn't so sure that I should. I mean, if I did, then I'd be caving into the fact that I'd never get over this _'phobia' _I have. And that meant she'd probably lose faith in me, and I knew I didn't want that. But could I handle it? I wasn't sure.

A few moments of dreadful silence later, Bella cooed seductively from behind the door, "Ohhhh, Edward?"

"Mmm?" I grinned, her sexy voice going straight to my groin.

"I don't know if I should come out... I really, _really _don't think you're going to be able to handle me tonight."

I laughed, leaning my head back against the headboard, "I'm sure I can."

"I... wouldn't be too cocky," she replied, sing-song voice in tact. "You may just end up eating your words."

"Well," I chuckled arrogantly, "come with it then. Show me what you've got."

The door cracked open, and my beautiful Bella strolled out, wearing a long fluffy white robe wrapped tightly around her. Her hair was full of volume, and she wore dark shadow and red lips, and I saw black stockings and heels revealed at the very bottom. Right then, I should have ate my words. But I didn't.

I grinned, trying to adjust myself without the use of my hands, "You look sexy."

"No talking yet."

I raised my left eyebrow, unable to wipe the smirk off my face. But I didn't respond. If she wanted to play, I could play.

"Now," she exhaled, walking toward the foot of the bed, "I have a few rules for tonight. Number one, you do what I say and _only _what I say, and you get a prize. We're working on your control tonight. The more of it you give to me, the more prizes you'll receive... Number two, I don't want you to hold back on me. If you want to shout, do it. If you want to curse, do it. If you want to proposition me with a new position, let me know what it is. If you want to get rough, feel free. Especially if I ask you to do it. And finally... Number three... you are not allowed to come until I say you can."

I scraped my teeth down my bottom lip and cleared my throat.

"Yes?"

"What happens if I accidently break one of your... rules?"

She licked her lips, "then I just may have to punish you." Then she winked at me.

"Are you going to untie me?"

"Yes. But if I do and you get out of hand, I'll have to tie you back, or we'll have to stop. Remember, I'm in charge tonight."

"And what type of punishment are we talking about here?" _I hope she knew I wasn't into anything too dominant, like chains or gagballs. Not that I thought she would be, but hey, you never know._

"Depends on the severity of your crime." She walked around to the left side of the bed, and put a glass of wine in front of me, "take a sip first. Then we'll begin."

I shook my head and did as she asked, smiling all the way. I knew Bella more than she knew herself There was no way she could keep herself in this type of line all night. Even if I was drunk.

Bella reached over me, a powerfully intoxicating wind of strawberries and cinnamon enveloping my senses, and grabbed a black remote, "I've arranged some music. Hope you don't mind." She clicked it on, and my ears were filled with the sounds of _Janet Jackson_.

I furrowed my brows, "I didn't know you liked this."

She licked her lips, climbing over me, "there's a lot you're about to learn about me." Then she stood up on the mattress, her beautiful feet in high fucking heels on each side of my knees, and looked down at me, "I want you to keep your eyes on me."

I cleared my throat, "okay."

Keeping those caramel eyes fixed, her volumed hair covering her shoulders, she began to untie the white straps around her waist, "Are you ready?"

I nodded, grinning arrogantly at her. She quickly pulled off the robe, and it fell to my lap. And I fucking froze. My eyes locked open. My heart stilled. My fists flexed. I couldn't breathe, and was pretty sure I was about to inherit lock-jaw if I didn't close my mouth. But I couldn't.

Because my _fucking wife _stood over me, wearing a mother fucking black _leather _corset mini-dress. Hook and eye strap, from the left top of the cleavage, up and around the back of her neck, to the other. The top barely covered her peaks, and the bottom barely covered the apex of her thighs. It had to have been about two feet in diameter. Three strands of hook eye's trailed down the front, from top to bottom, one on the left side, one in the middle, one on the right. Attached to it was the garder, down to sheer black stockings, and leather heels.

She grinned at me and placed her feet on the opposite sides, turning, and revealing the back.

"OH MY Fffff-..." I was about to have heart failure. And I couldn't cover my mouth and react, because my fucking hands were still tied.

The back of the dress was open in the middle of it, laced in a criss-cross pattern, stretching down from top to bottom. I could see her ass cheeks in-between the lace ties, as well as at the bottom of the dress, where it didn't cover it. I could see everything that the little black thong beneath it didn't cover.

It took me a few moments to just wrap my head around what was going on. I never imagined Bella to have a leather fucking _anything_, let alone lingerie. And this risque?? _Holy mother fucking hell, you cannot handle this Edward. Jesus. Fuck me sideways._

"You have to fucking untie me," I demanded, as soon as she turned around to face me again. "_Now_."

"Now Edward," she replied cooingly, shaking her head, "are you going to be a good boy?"

"Bella, I am not playing," I replied breathlessly, staring toward her thighs, "I can't handle this, you have to fucking let me touch you. I'm not playing. I'm serious."

She squat down above me, making sure her legs stayed spread, _the fucking tease_, and whispered as she played with my hair, "...Do you like my outfit?"

"Yes. Now untie me."

"I don't know if you can control yourself without the restraints," she joked.

"If you don't untie me, I'm going to fucking rip your shit up getting out of them, or break apart this headboard, and then you're really going to have to worry about my control issues."

She grinned, un-phased by my mediocre threats, "...I don't know if you-"

"Bella, please." Now I was fucking begging. But I didn't give a shit.

She moved her head back, assessing my eyes. I'm sure they were coal black, full of lust.. My body ached for her. I needed her to lower her ass just a few more inches, and sit on my pants, and alleviate some tension. I needed to kiss her, and lick her, and fuck her. I needed everything that had to do with her.

"Please baby," I whispered, looking straight into her eyes, keeping my voice velvet like. "I need you."

She inhaled, leaning closer to my mouth, "you and those eyes... and that voice... Don't try to take the upper-hand in this. Promise?"

I gave her a nod and a warm smile.

"Okay Edward," she leaned over, untieing the double knot on my right wrist. My hand fell to her hip immediately, not bothering to twist it around and get the feeling back. As soon as she untied the other one, it was on the opposite hip.

"Jesus fucking _Christ_, Bella," I murmured shakingly, running my hands up the smooth leather sides, "...I never imagined..."

"Happy Honeymoon, Edward."

"Mmm..." I sighed, burying my face into her cleavage, my hands running behind her, trailing down the lace ties, toward her ass. My voice came out in pants, breathless-like, "I'm not going to take over... Just let me... Just let me take this in for a moment." I pushed her down onto my lap, thankful to have some type of pressure there. "You're so fucking sexy..." I licked the top of her left breast, into the dip as far as the leather restraints would allow me, then to her right, "...so fucking edible."

Her fingers found my hair, and she ran through it tenderly, rocking slightly on my erection, "...The second part of my second rule is, I'm not going to hold back with you anymore either... I want to be more vocal with you, let you know more about what I'm feeling, and what you're doing to me... Is that okay, Edward?"

I nodded, unable to move my face from her breasts. I could fucking cry, I was that happy in the moment. I wanted to worship her. I'd never been so immersed by her in all of my life.

She rocked on my lap again, sliding the contents of that tiny black thong from the inseam, all the way up to the button on my pants, "You feel so good when I do this, Edward. So good to me."

I groaned into her collar bone, my fingers finding tight purchase against her thighs, "so do you." My brain was still stuck in solid mode. I felt myself trembling, and knew that if I thought too much about what she was wearing and what she was doing, or who she fucking was right now, I'd go off. My heart was about to burst right outside of my chest. I shuddered when she ran her fingernails behind my neck, "I want you so bad."

"I know you do, but we should wait just a little while longer..."

"Why?"

"Control, Edward."

I inhaled her scent, trembling, "...this is so fucking hard." All I wanted to do was take over, make sure to give her hers about fifty times, then get mine, one really good time. I wanted to make her feel good, make myself feel good.

Bella pulled her face back and made me look at her. Her swollen lips parted, her eyes focused and intentional, "Edward," she whispered. "Kiss me."

I crashed my lips to hers, not giving her a chance to blink. I didn't care about anything else, but her sweet taste on my lips. I felt like I had been tortured with the most beautiful object, wanting to buy it and having the money, but temporarily unable to speak and announce that I wanted it... Now that I had it, I wasn't going to give it up. I pushed her body against my chest and lifted us up, before dipping her back and falling top of her. I panted above her lips for a moment, catching my breath, then went right back to assaulting her lips, her tongue, everything. All I could think in my head was _more, more, more, more, must have more, got to have more, don't stop, don't give her a chance to stop you_.

_Cullen _was my body's way of taking over my thoughts, and just going with whatever my body wanted to do. When he was in charge, I couldn't think rationally. I wouldn't dare reel him in, as long as I knew the situation was safe. And not only was _Cullen _here, but _Cullen _was full-force at this point.

Bella tried to push my mouth from hers, but I shook my head, sliding my tongue inside. She moaned, swirling her tongue around mine, her knees moving up my sides. My right hand glided down to her left thigh, and I hitched it up, having her wrap it behind me, so I could push into her center.

She gasped, her hands finding my face. "Edward," she panted, pushing my face back, "wait."

I shook my head, pushing into her again.

"Edward," she repeated, keeping her voice calm. "Wait."

I stopped, pulled back, and looked down at her beautiful face. She glanced up at me, panting, wanting, desiring me but putting it off... Her eyes filled with pure lust. One look at her, and I dropped down, burying my face in her neck, trying to regroup. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, this is a work in progress. You're not hurting me."

I felt myself twitching. I knew how bad I needed to be inside of her.

I pulled back, cupping her jaw with my right hand. I squared my eyes with hers, making sure she saw the need on my face. Then I said, "You have to let me fuck you, baby."

"I'm going to."

"Bella, you can't..." I shook my head, checking her outfit out one more time,. _Dear Lord, she was fucking sexy_. "...you can't put on a fucking leather corset lingerie thing and expect me to be able to obey. It doesn't work that way. My mind can't process anything other than sex, sex, sex, and when I think of sex, I think about sex with _you_, my _wife_, whom I want more than ever, who is the _only _person I want, and here you are, fucking laying beneath me and I cannot have you. I don't think you understand how frustrating this is for me."

"I do."

"Bella," I whimpered, exasperated. I laid down, putting my forehead to hers, "tell me that you want me... Because I feel that I want you more than you want me, and this-"

"I do want you Edward. Every minute of every day."

"Then," I whispered, caressing her cheekbones, "...can we... please?"

She shook her head, "You have to let me initiate this."

I pushed back and rolled over, laying on my back beside her, "I've always been in control," I muttered. "I don't know any other way."

"I think you'll find that, once you allow yourself to be vulnerable, it can still be pleasureable for you. Just because you're giving me some of your control does not mean you're any less of a man to me. It just means that you trust me, and know I can handle being in charge of things every once in awhile."

"But I do trust you."

"All the way, Edward."

"I _do _trust you all the way, Bella."

"Then let me do this. Let me help you."

I sighed, tugging on the ends of my hair. _ Just let her, Edward. Give in, and you'll get what you want faster. Just let her do it, just let her do it_. I exhaled and closed my eyes. "Okay," I whispered. "But I better fucking get some prizes for this, like you said."

I could feel her sitting up, and froze when she straddled my lap, "We'll take it slow, I promise. I know you'll enjoy this."

I licked my lips, inhaling, "what do we do first?"

She began rocking on my hips, that incredible dry-fuck feeling taking over, "First-"

I cut her off, hands restraining her hips, "Wait. Before we do this, you have to know. If you spend the entire damn night teasing me like you were just doing, and then cockblocking me and making me wait... Just, please don't get me going then keep stopping. I'm trying here, but don't take advantage of this."

"I promise I won't. I love you, and this is going to be fun."

_It'll be more fun when I'm inside of you._ "I love you too. That's why I'm doing this."

She began rocking on me, getting me going again, and started to run her hands up and down my chest. Removed my shirt. I breathed deep through my nose, closed my eyes, and willed myself to 'feel' what she was doing, and try not to focus on everything going off in my head. I inhaled again, exhaled through my mouth. Felt her fucking form rocking and grinding and pressing into me. I didn't trust myself to move my hands anywhere on her body but her hips.

Bella bent down and pressed her mouth against mine, her hips steadying that damn pressure. I kissed her, taking her in, allowing her tongue to explore my mouth. I felt my hips lift up a bit, but quickly stopped and sunk back into the mattress. _Control, Edward. Let her have it_. Bella hummed against my lips, drawing my tongue inside her mouth. I explored her thoroughly, giving her what she wanted, forcing myself to not take what I wanted. To wait. _Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, I can't do this_.

I started to open my mouth and raise the surrender flag, but then she stilled on top of me, and pulled her face back.

I opened my eyes and smiled at her, because her beautiful face was enough to calm me momentarily.

"Edward, you're doing great. Ready for your prize?"

I licked my lips and gave her a nod.

She bit hers, and twisted around, straddling my hips backward. I started to ask what she was doing, but then I felt her un-fastening my pants and figured I'd just save the talk and see where she goes.

"Lift."

I lifted my hips and steadied her body to make sure she didn't fall off of my stomach, and she pushed my pants down a few feet, toward my ankles. Her ass, beautiful displayed with that damn dress in front of my face every time that she bent over, was practically singing to me, saying _'Edward come get me'. _I bit down on my lip and steadied my breathing, feeling her take me in her hands. I felt the alcohol from earlier swirling through my mind. I was relieved when she started to stroke me, thankful all of this built up pressure could potentially have somewhere to go. Then she bent forward more and took me in her mouth, and instinctively, my hips raised up to meet the back of her throat.

She pushed me down and pulled her mouth off, before placing her chin on her right shoulder and looking back at me, "breathe, Edward... Take your mind off of control."

I nodded, caressing up her back. _Take my mind off of control..._ I watched as she leaned forward, propping her lower body up for my display, and tilted my head as she took me in her mouth again. _Hmm_. I felt _Cullen _creeping up inside my mind, and my hands found her legs.

While she worked me with her mouth, completely fucking obliterating my mind, I pulled her up my chest, and lifted her, steadying her over my mouth. She stopped her movements and I felt her turn back to see what the hell I was doing, but as soon as I opened my mouth to her body, she locked up, "E-Edward?"

I pressed my nose against the black thong, occupying my mind until it was full of her high heels, stockings, and garder belt surrounding my head, and this thin black lace above me. I closed my eyes, running my nose slowly across the damp fabric, breathing as much of her in as I could. _This _was what I needed to take my mind off of everything else for a moment. _Mmmm_.

Bella stayed locked above me, "Edward? W-What are you doing?"

"I'm..." I hummed, gently kissing the fabric, "distracting myself."

"B-but I cannot do what I am doing when you're doing that. I can't concentrate."

"Sure you can," I whispered, kissing there again, "...have you ever done this before? At the same time?"

"Of course not. No one has ever been there on me but you." I didn't have to even look at her face to know she was blushing.

"Do you want to?" I ran my nose back down the fabric, gently kneading the back of her thighs with my fingers. _Keep her in control, Edward_. "I mean... we can, if _you _want to." _She said I was allowed to make suggestions, to speak what I wanted..._ "...Just to let you know... I _really _want to."

She trembled above me, "I don't know if I can... I'd be too worried about something... The idea of being over your face. We-we've never before, and I... I know how my mind works."

"You have nothing to be afraid of, love." I nuzzled her body again, "...Look at what you're wearing... Look at what you're doing to me... You're the bravest, sexiest person I know... And you have absolutely nothing to be worried about. You're perfect..." I kissed her once. "...So very perfect..." Kissed the fabric over her again. "...Mmm."

Her voice came out as barely a whisper, "...okay..."

I exhaled, happy to win over some ground. My fingers dipped into the sides of the panties, and then I realized she still had all this strappy shit, and I couldn't pull them down in one piece. "I'm going to rip this off," I stated, and then did it before she had time to object.

She laughed playfully, then went right back to obliterating my mind with her mouth on me. Taking me in. Deeper. _Oh God. Shit. Focus, Cullen_. I blew out a gust of hot air, and it hit her revealed body, and she trembled, humming against my dick. Pure vibrations. Instantly, I lifted my face and pushed on the small of her back, making her come down to me. Her thighs were against my ears, those heels above the top of my head, me inside of her mouth, and her wet heat pressed against my tongue... _Damn. Why didn't we do this before?_

It amazes me, how every time Bella gives me head, it feels better and better. Like, each time, she has some magic trick under her hat and just pulls it out on me when I least expect it. She has taken what little instructions I gave her back at her house a couple of months back, and completely perfected it _and _added some additional shit in. Like knowing how to use her teeth to make me feel good, instead of making me think she's about to bite it off. Or how to fondle me while she worked. Or how to switch up her hand movements, or the way her mouth surrounded me and took me in. And then, when she pushes me back into her throat... _Nothing _can replace that.

Every time she pushed me further, I made it into a challenge. Of course, I didn't tell her this, because I didn't want her to think I was about _'control'_, although I secretly was in my head. But if she got me to where I was breathless and had to stop working her for a moment, I made it my mission to do more to her, to get her to be louder... Each time she did it, I'd invent something else to do with my tongue or my lips. I wanted to _'win'_. I wanted to feel the _'control'_, even though she had no idea I was doing it. It was the only way I could work.

After kicking off my pants and boxers, I turned us over, to where we were on our sides, and then just fucking went at it. I didn't even care about getting mine. All I wanted to do was take over (mentally) and show her what I could do, and why I enjoyed being in control... without her knowing I was showing her. I lapped at her flesh, slowly bringing my tongue down toward the dampness around her entrance. After consuming all of it, I trailed my mouth back upward, and teased her clit. Massaged her ass cheeks with my fingers. Kissed around her like I would her mouth. Moving side to side, small light circles to hard sucking then back again. I felt her mouth and what she was doing to me, and felt my body twitching for release, my stomach tightening, but I couldn't focus on that. I was too busy enjoying her moaning and panting, before she could regroup and take me again. I knew I was getting to her.

...That was, until she rolled us again, to where I was on top of her, and my dick moved straight down her throat. _Dammit_. She knew what I was doing, and wasn't going to fucking let me have it. I groaned, trying to focus on my breathing, but she didn't surrender. All she did was suck me harder, and hold me to her, so I couldn't pull back and concentrate on her. My hands shook while I tried to work on pleasuring her, but there was no fucking use at this point. She was winning. _God dammit it felt good, too._

"Damn it," I cursed beneath my breath, feeling her throat vibrate as she hummed and licked me, taking me further. "Oh _fuck_, Bella. _Ungh_."

I couldn't even focus on being above her or anything else. She apparently had me exactly where she wanted me. She wasn't even gagging, and I knew it had to be uncomfortable, me bumping the back of her throat repeatedly.

_So was this all a plan? To let me think I was winning, to get my mind off of this shit, then take over and fucking conquer me?_ Because that's what she was doing. Fucking winning with her delectable tongue and talented lips and hands, caressing me while she worked. I groaned, feeling her lift her head when I tried to pull out. I wanted to make sure she was breathing, but she didn't let me. She was fine. She was letting me know she was fine by lifting her head and meeting my hips. I tried to roll us over on our side again, but she refused, holding me in place. My entire body felt like it was on fire, the sensations shooting through my every cell. I was close. I was so fucking close that I couldn't pay any attention to her, besides what my fingers were doing. I couldn't put my mouth on her. I could barely even fucking _breathe_, so caught up in this shit. It felt like my dick had entered the most tightest, sweetest, hottest, wettest depth.

She had me. She fucking had me and she _knew _it.

I tried to hold back, to wait. I tried to stop my body from shaking, stop myself from enjoying it. I tried to stop pushing my hips toward her face. But then, while I was in the back of her throat, she stroked her tongue against my form, and kept her hands working on me, and I just fucking... _I lost._

I became a shuddering, gasping mess. Felt myself twitching and releasing hard into the heated, warm, wet depths of her throat surrounding me. It just kept coming, and she just moaned and continued doing what she was doing, probably proud of her victory. Drinking all of me until I was dry. And then when it was done, I was spent because she'd never done it that well before, and almost collapsed on her. Thankfully, my mind snapped back into focus and I rolled over before I rammed myself down her liquefied throat.

"Oh fuck," I put my hand on my heaving chest. "Oh fuck."

My mind told me to think about losing, that it was wrong to lose my last bit of control, but my body was screaming praises and tingling in the reminiscent of all that was my wife. I didn't know what to do. So I just laid there and rested for a moment. Closed my eyes and listened to my heartbeat currently pounding in my eardrums. I felt Bella moving around the bed, but didn't bother to open my eyes.

She hummed into my ear, leaning over my body, "How was that, Edward?"

"Good," I whispered. "Amazing."

"How do you feel?"

I nodded, blinking a few times, not bothering to answer. There wasn't a point. She knew she won. It was evident.

"I love you very much," she said, straddling me once again. She kissed my neck, my throat, my chin. "So, so very much."

I nodded again, swallowing hard. I couldn't rectify a simple thought.

"...Do you love me too?"

"Of course," I whispered, my voice scratchy. I finally opened my eyes, and found hers. Slowly, I sat myself up, straightening her on my lap, "...don't ever think I don't."

"I didn't... upset you in-"

"No, not even for a second."

I noticed her eyes distant, a look on her face showing me that she felt guilty for her previous actions. Her frown forming. I shook my head and wrapped my arms around her fully, pressing her chest up to me, hugging her tight.

Lowering my forehead to hers, I cradled her face in my hands, "Baby... you did nothing wrong. That was wonderful. I promise."

"You're not upset with me?"

"Never sweetheart. I love you."

She smiled shy-like, her fingers running through my hair, "...You better."

"I do. Come here." I kissed her once, then twice, then three times, making the third time count. I felt myself growing hard beneath her, all over again. But I couldn't help it. There was something about the way she held me, even though I was holding her. There was something about her being in a fucking leather mini-corset dress, but yet, completely vulnerable in my lap. Dominant but fragile. I loved every bit of her, no matter what. Even if I did lose my control.

I pulled back, nudging her nose with mine, and smiling genuinely.

She smiled back.

"Do you mind if I undo this?" I asked, tugging the leather straps from her shoulders. She shook her head, slipping her arms out of it. I felt her trembling around me, her thighs clamping to my sides. But there was only so much I could do with the fabric at this angle, being that it was so tight against her body. Though I didn't want to release her, I knew there would be no way of undoing it until I did.

So I lifted her up in my lap and twisted her around, so she could straddle my legs backward. I brushed her hair off the back of her neck and smiled against it, before kissing her gently. With each lace strap I undid, another warm, tender kiss was applied. When it got too low, I pushed her forward, until somehow we managed to have her on her stomach, and me above her. She remained calm, shuddering slightly when my lips trailed to the small of her back. I knew it was a hot spot for her, so made sure to linger my lips there, and breathe on her skin. I lifted my head to look at her, and found her eyes closed, her face rested on her right cheek, her hair spread out around the covers, and a gentle, beautiful smile on her face.

I lowered my face again, kissing around her back. Pushed the corset dress off, until it was laying underneath her, open and exposed. And then she was perfect, completely comfortable, and at my expense.

"So," I whispered, my mouth against the small again, "...is this the prize I get? Having you naked and warm, smiling to my touch?"

She inhaled through her nose, her lashes fluttering against her skin, "...yeah... I can't really be dominant when you feel this good..."

I smirked, massaging the back of her legs, "...at least you won though, right? Earlier?"

"It wasn't about winning, Edward."

I applied a kiss to the top of her right leg, "what was it about then?"

"Showing you that we could go either way... Reverse the roles of control when we wanted..."

"I'm... sort of surprised you let me come though... I thought you were going to make me wait a long ass time," I chuckled softly, applying another kiss.

"I was," she teasingly admitted, "but then... I just wanted to make you, so I did."

"I've been there before," another kiss, "...crazy when you don't care about yourself and just want to please someone else."

"I know..."

"Is there anything else that you... wanted to have control over me with tonight?"

She smiled, pulling herself up on her elbows, then turned and looked back at me, "Why Edward, did you enjoy it after all?"

I smiled, refusing to answer that question. She had enough gratitude, and her ego was growing.

She raised her eyebrow, waiting.

"Perhaps."

"Ahhh," she smiled, laying her head back down, "I think I'll... wait. Maybe pick that part up tomorrow. You've had enough of that for one night. I don't want to overwhelm you with my powers."

I laughed, massaging her body more, "well... are you relaxed?"

"Yes."

"Good. That's what I want." I felt bad, now that I thought about stopping and not giving her hers. I've never not given her... hers. And I wasn't about to quit the night until I did. Now, I owed her, so it'd be a few times, at least. But where to start?

I crawled on my knees and laid on my side, propped my head up on my elbows, and ran my fingers through her hair. Listening as she sighed, and watching how she fluttered her lashes... it made my heart skip beats. It's sickening, how much I am in love with her. Cheesy love stories don't have shit on us.

"Bella," I whispered, kissing her cheek, "are you getting tired?"

She shook her head, smiling when I kissed her cheek again, "just enjoying myself."

I kissed her once more, "...are you sure?"

"Mmhmm."

I licked my lips and laid my head beside hers, staring deep into her eyes. She was so beautiful.

She inhaled my scent and moved closer, wrapping her arms around my side, "Edward... I feel so safe with you."

She kind of stunned me with her words. I don't know why, in this warm, gentle moment of ours, but I didn't expect her to say that. "I'm happy you do."

"It doesn't matter if you're drunk or not... I know you'll protect me."

"Always, Bella. You don't ever have to worry about that."

"But," she moved closer, her mouth a mere inches from mine. She ran her fingers through my hair, mimicking my hand's actions in her hair, "...does it sound crazy that, I want to protect you too?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well... I mean... if something was to happen, and you were to throw yourself in front of me to protect me, I think I'd jerk you back. Or somehow, protect you, while you were protecting me. Hold my arms over your chest, hold you to me, cover your heart with my hands or something. I don't know why I'm saying this and probably sound stupid but... I think I would. I think I'd do whatever it took to keep you just as safe as you'd keep me."

I smiled, pecking her lips.

"Edward," she whispered. "all this control issues aside... Can we just... I don't know, have each other? Just... not worry about who does what, and just enjoy it, and be together?"

"Of course baby," I pulled her against me, "...we can do that."

There it goes again. My body aching for her. Not just in a sexual way, but in a truly, painful, overjoyed way. The type where your throat hurts when you swallow, and you want to hold her as close as possible, until you're practically sharing the same breath of air. Loving Bella couldn't be good for my heart, the way it bounces around when I have her with me.

I watched as a tear fell from the corner of her right eye, onto the mattress. Furrowing my brows, I tucked her hair behind her ear, "Why are y-"

"Shhh," she whispered, smiling over at me. "Just... kiss me."

I lifted her chin and moved forward, pressing my lips to hers. I felt her breathing me in, her lips shaking against mine. Felt her mouth pull off a little, not separating, but lingering. I licked my lips, my tongue brushing against her bottom lip involuntarily, and she smiled.

I wanted to remind her how much I loved her. How perfect she was to me. How much I missed her while we were apart... but that was everything I've all ready said, and I felt that, in the tenderness of the moment, no words needed to be exchanged. She knew how I felt.

It was written all over me.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward slipped one arm beneath me, then lifted me and rolled us over, until I was above him. His hand found the back of my neck, and he gently lifted his face, meeting my lips with his. Nothing was said, but I knew he knew I was emotional, all over again.

I both hated and loved him for this. I both hated and loved this pregnancy. I had cried more these past four months, than the past twelve before that. Every single time I thought I had control over myself, something happens, and I was realize just how deep I am with him, and fall over again.

Being with Edward, this sensually... it's a constant reminder that not only will I ever fall out of love with him, but that I'll keep falling in love with him. Over and over and over again. Deeper and deeper, into a bottomless depth. I didn't care anymore about what other people around us didn't have. True love existed, no matter what. We were proof of this. It didn't matter what it took to get us here. We _were _here, and we _had _each other, and that in itself was overwhelming enough to bring me to tears.

I sniffled as he rolled us over, him on me now. He threw my dress off of the bed and then lifted my face in his warm hands, pressing his forehead against mine, "Bella, are you all right?"

"Yes."

He closed his eyes, running the tip of his nose against mine, side to side, slowly.

I bit my lip, struggling to breathe.

_This_. Another thing I've learned. No matter how fun and flirty sex could be... this would always be real. We never had to stop _'making love' _to each other. It never had to get old. We never had to forget what it feels like to be caught up emotionally in the involvements of sex, what sex was really about. It doesn't matter, even when we've reached our fiftieth anniversary. I didn't think this connection we had was ever going to die.

Edward was gentle, moving himself inside of me. Allowing me to adjust to him, without restraint or confliction. He kept his eyes on mine, kept telling me how much he loved me and how beautiful I looked to him. He held my hands beside my head on the mattress, and kissed my lips tenderly. Placed his forehead on mine. He did everything right, just as he always did. Because he loved me, and I felt it when we were like this. With every ounce of my being, I felt it.

Once he was all the way inside, he buried his face on the right side of my neck, and kissed me there, before murmuring, "...My baby..." in my ear.

I shuddered, bringing my hands up and down his back. "Yours, Edward," I chocked, before swallowing uneasily. _God, it was hard to speak._

He licked his lips, his tongue hitting my ear, before pulling back and looking down to me. He lifted my head and met my mouth with his, while moving slowly, easing himself in and out of my body leisurely. This wasn't a game anymore. This had nothing to do with control. This was just me and him, giving in and going with it. Feeding off on each other.

He rocked and moved and lingered at his pace. Made me feel good. Played me like he did the piano...

Seconds turned to minutes, and we kept our pace calm. Enjoyable. Unrushed.

I felt him all around me, in every follicle, in every vein. After all, that was what intimacy was when it came to him and I. Surrounding beautifully.

Using my fingernails, I drew tiny circles down his ribs. Edward pressed his mouth into mine, hungrily, and drew my bottom lip between his teeth. I smiled, before kissing him back with more force. He moaned into my mouth, his body picking up its pace. His hands slipped down my sides, to the backs of my knees, and he wrapped them around his back. Once he was in at a deeper angle, I dropped my head to the mattress, gasping. Our expressions matched. Our eyes were dilated and darkened. Our lips swollen and parted. Our cheeks and forehead flushed pink and glistening with sweat. Edward was indeed the mirror image of me. My soulmate.

"Edward," I closed my eyes, panting. "Don't stop. Ohhh..."

He grunted, pulling himself and me up.

Once he was on his knees, and I on his lap, I made sure every limb was around him. My entire body began to shake and I knew I was close, and even though I loved this part, I also hated it. I wanted the release, didn't want it to end. Sweat rolled off of our bodies, skin sounded against skin, my hair stuck to both of our bodies. But we didn't care. We were too caught up, too involved in this romance.

I buried my face into his shoulder, dragging my fingernails around the back of his neck, "please don't quit."

"I won't," he kissed the side of my cheek, then the corner of my mouth, then my bottom lip, then my top, then my mouth fully.

I moaned into his mouth, because my body felt surrounded in every way of him. Completely. Fulfillingly. I became a panting, gasping, shuddering thing, rolling my hips back toward his rocking ones. Kissing his lips. Caressing his face. Tugging his hair. I felt myself releasing, throbbing, pulling him deeper. I heard my voice shouting, calling out his name. But we didn't stop. He didn't stop. And he didn't speed up either.

No matter how good our bodies felt, connected like this, I couldn't help but savor us.

There was little moments that did my emotions in, did me in. Things I'm sure he may not even be aware of...

Like how our faces would sometimes part, but enough just to have our open mouths against each other's, inhaling and exhaling.

How he'd come forward to kiss me, and I'd lean back slightly, and he'd just wait, open-mouthed and patient, until I moved forward and kissed him.

How his fingers intertwined with mine, pressing down by our sides, onto the mattress.

How his thumb would stroke circles along the inside of my wrist, delicate little circles that could somehow send trembles through my spine.

How his bottom lip trembled in anticipation of meeting mine again, no matter how many times we'd kissed before.

How, when he'd kiss my neck, I could feel him smiling into my skin, or whispering a silent _'I love you'... _Even though I couldn't hear it. I could feel it.

How he knew when to press his forehead against mine, or brush his fingers through my hair, or move us to where my heart pounded against his.

He really knew me, inside and out. Every day, he proved it more.

"Oh Edward," I whispered, as he lifted and lowered me.

He pushed my face into his, breathing heavily through his nose. I felt him throbbing, getting closer. Before I could even move, my second orgasm came out of nowhere, and all I could do was hold on tight and allow him to move me at his leasure. Because he still wasn't stopping.

"Fuck," he panted in my ear, while I buried my face into his neck. "So good... so good."

I hummed and came down slowly, shuddering and spiraling. Licking and biting his neck. His hands were shaking, but he kept moving me, meeting his hips to meet mine. I wasn't even sure how long we'd been doing this at this point. It felt like a long time, but I just wanted more.

I felt how wet we were, between the sweat, and movements, and connection. Hot hot we were. But it didn't stop us, nor did it slow us down.

I threw my head back, wrapped my hands around his neck. He kissed along my breasts, jerking my body over and back to meet his. I felt him inside of me, hitting every wall, every angle, every spot imaginable. Stroking me in the most perfect way.

"Edward," I panted, clamping my eyes shut, "I'm going to... ungh... a-a-again... Ohhh...."

I couldn't breathe. It hit me harder than the first two, almost knocking me back. I shivered, clawing at him, screaming his name. Three in a row. Never before during sex. My entire body kept exploding, kept riding those waves he provided me. I could feel it in my toes, in the tips of my fingers. But he just continued moving me, rising up to meet me. I loved being in his lap, loved having his hands on me, guiding me.

My mouth hung open as I sat back up against him. But I couldn't close it to save my life. I was too consumed.

He smiled through his pants and licked my lips, "Again."

I shook my head, stunned at how husky his voice was. Before I had time to say anything, he moved his body a certain way, and BAM, all over again. I curled into him, locked up and quivering. I kept my mouth right against his ear, so he made sure to hear me when I cursed or shouted his name. _Because four in a row?.. _

"Fuck me," I panted. "Oh _GOD_."

"Mmm," he turned his face and kissed me, before lifting us up. Then he moved me down and dropped on top of me, hitting my back wall.

More and more orgasms came and went out of me. I never thought that could even happen. But it did. I lost count.

I gasped, yanking his head back by his hair, "Edward... I c-can't... Oh shit... I'm... I can't... I can't..."

I tried to tell him I couldn't breathe. I tried to tell him my entire body was lit on fire, spinning and circling out of control. I tried to tell him that his hand, which was now slipped between us and on my most sensitive spot, was driving me crazy in all the good ways.

But then, it another one came. And HARD.

And dammit all too hell, I just fucking _SCREAMED _out profantities left and right. I listened to my voice bounce around in echoes, to our bodies moving together, to the bed bouncing and the sheets moving and his breath on my neck and everything else. Him panting, "Mine," aggressively in my ear.

I wasn't sure what I was screaming. I wasn't even sure if my brain could function anymore.

I was, however, pretty sure, that my body, like a wire, was frayed and tingling.

"Oh fuck, _Edward_," I bit down onto his shoulder, as hard as I could, and he yelled, burying his face into the bed beside me. His body kept hitting inside of me in the most sensitive area, and I released him quickly, trying to gulp down bits of oxygen.

Before I could think, I gripped his hips and pushed him as hard as I could, allowing his body to hit inside me as far as it would go. Over and over, until he finally lost it. He pressed his forehead to mine, his lips shaking, his face in a beautiful contortion, and let go, filling me all the way up with his warmth.

I lifted my sensitive hips, met him thrust for thrust, until I just couldn't move anymore.

Then I fell onto the bed, and he dropped on top of me.

We were exhausted.

We lay there for several minutes. Fingers in his hair, his hands on my sides. His face pressed into my collar bone, my mouth ajar. Breathing heavily and matching each other's heart beat.

Each time my body had an aftershock, he'd groan, the sensations of my body pulling him deeper, even without my consent.

We were like two walls, and our connection a ping pong ball. It'd hit me, then bounce back to him, then bounce back to me, back and forth, the sensations. Over and over again, until finally, we had to separate before we drowned and got lost forever.

Words weren't exchanged for quite awhile. Not until our breathing finally came back to normal, and our bodies relaxed.

Then, all he did was roll over, caress my face, kiss me once. Then he said, "That was a handful... about twelve or thirteen for you, I'd say."

"Mmm," I brushed his face, smiling like an idiot, "...never did I imagine that possible. I guess you're..." I inhaled... "...just that good."

He smirked, his arrogance shining through once again. _Cocky, sexy bastard._

Then he said, "No, don't say that yet. ...I'll be good when I make you have twenty... and I'm going for that goal tomorrow."

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 28! **

**-- Shoutout to my RL friend Angel for her and her fiancée giving me the multiple orgasm idea. (catch 22, anyone?)  
**

**-- No, Edward does NOT know the full extent of Bella's breakdown yet. We're getting there.**

**-- And yes, maybe Bella did go easy on Edward after all... but remember, nothing is over with. She just didn't want to do too much and make him upset.**

**-- To those of you who have read the 1st TEF outtake (posted in my profile), I really hope this chapter sums up the difference between Edward/Aimee and Edward/Bella. Just because a man uses a nickname or a certain thing, doesn't mean it's the same w/all girls. He was a cold, bitter shell with Aimee. He's freely living with Bella. She makes all the difference in his world. :D More TEF outtakes on the way, so make sure you put it on Alerts if you haven't!  
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**-- Remember, second part of Honeymoon coming up. The first part was to have a few discussions and loosen up a few of Edward's buttons. The next half will be allllll the things they're about to explore. *_wink wink, nudge nudge_*.**

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**--- QUESTIONS for my readers: **

**- What is something that you want EB to do/try sexually?****  
- Do you think Bella should give into Edward's wants that he's made clear with her so far?  
- And do you have any 'mood music' suggestions you think would be great for the next chapter? **

**Let me know at the bottom of your review!!**

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**PLEASE REVIEW! Let me know you haven't given up on this story!**

**Reviews are better than TEF making a writer's block comeback! :D**


	29. Endlessly Drowning

**NOTE: **I just found out** I/TEF **has been **nominated for some new awards! **One is called the **Razzle Dazzle Awards **and the nomination was for **"Best Author", **and the **voting starts now. http://razzledazzleawards(dot)webs(dot)com **If you'd like to vote for me and The Ex Factor, please bookmark the link and do so! (Hint: There is no voting limit!!) /// * /// The other award is the **Golden Chocolate Awards**, and this time, it's TEF Recognition!!!! YAY!! So far, it's for "**Best Romance**", "**Best Author**", "**Best Lemon**", "**Best All Human**", "**Best Drama**", and "**Best Angst**"!!"... See the site for more details.) Voting isn't open yet but NOMINATE AWAY for your favorites! Here is the link: http://goldenchocolateadwards(dot)webs(dot)com/ (Links are in profile as well.)

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To my **Readers**.... again, thank you for sticking with me. I adore you all and wish I could give you all TEF Edward's! I'm sorry** to those of you who didn't settle well with the last chapter**. I know some were disappointed/bothered about Bella's _'control' _attempt, and that you didn't want angst/conversation on a Honeymoon, but you have to know that in my defense, Bella and Edward didn't get a whole lot of time to discuss things between all of the things they had going on, with the families, their jobs, getting things going with where they're going to live, the baby appointments, planning a wedding, etc.... I felt that certain things _needed _to be mentioned REGARDLESS of the when and where, and if they handled it well and can respect each other's pasts, then why not discuss it when they're alone? For those of you who didn't like the chapter, please know that I understand where you are coming from and I hope this one will be better for you, and that you stick with TEF.

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**Special shout-outs of thanks **to: **My newest readers/subscribers,** I'm so sorry I haven't written you to say thanks yet, have been kind of overwhelmed, but I want to say THANK YOU and I'm so glad you're enjoying the story! **WhyBella **for pming me, and not only stating her honest concerns, which I truly appreciate, but also giving me a refreshing reminder of the importance of safety regarding exploring new sexual things, as well as D/s related stuff. (I apologize to my readers for not exploring it more the last chapter. Please note that there are certain safety rules that should be followed, to make it both enjoyable AND safe for you and your partner, before you dive into exploring new sexual acts, including D/s.) The rules are mentioned in the chapter. Keep in mind, the main one: safe, sane, and consensual. To **Banshee69**, for becoming a friend to me and for your sweet advice on my upcoming projects and ideas. Thanks to **my girls **over at** Twilighted **& **Addicted to TEF Facebook Comm**, as said before, I freakin' become giddy over you. I just wanted to make clear that I LOVE ALL OF YOU THE SAME and appreciate every single one of you for your EXTRA support and motivation. You guys don't know how much you have all helped me out, inspired me, lifted my spirits, made me laugh.... You are my lifelines!! (Special shout-out to **SuzyQ** -- *hugs bunches* You still make me laugh girl. You'll never know how much! I honestly think that I look forward to your comments, just as much as you look forward to reading a good story! Thanks for brightening my day up! And for all of your help on the preparation of the TEF Sequel. I look forward to having you as my _'idea buddy'. _*wink* ) **BellaCullenPR (Nyvia)** for the corrected Spanish translation! Thanks to **all the people** at the **WA Facebook, Lion_Lamb LJ, **and **Twilight Lexicon** for recc'ing this story and getting word out about TEF! Thanks to my friend** Angel**, for using her multiple orgasm RL stories to inspire me. (I've never had that many in a row, but hopefully one day!) Thanks to **Hillari, Pippy (Shani), Rebecca's Mom (Aura), **& **DazzleMeBetch (Court)** for all of your individual love and kindness. You guys are so sweet, you'll never know. Thanks to those **Reviewers **for giving me suggestions on song tracks, input on whether or not Bella should give in to Edward's wants, and other ideas. Some are in this chapter, so be on the look-out for those!

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**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Part 2 of the Honeymoon.  
Conversation. Tad bit of **_**'angst'**_**, though I wouldn't really call it that. (Just another way of Edward showing Bella how much she meant to him when they weren't together.)  
Oh, and... Lemons and romance galore. Then more lemons. Then more hotter ones.**

**Side-notes: - **I have one word for you guys in this chapter:** GuitarWard. :D  
**(The song chosen for the pick Edward 'wrote' and 'sings' is in my profile for download if you want to listen to it. It melts your heart and makes you cry in all the good/bad ways.)

**Again: **This chapter is **NOT SUITABLE FOR **work, church, school, around children under the age of eighteen, around anyone who might take offense easily, and any jealous husbands or boyfriends who get really pissed off when you take the time to ignore them and read this story. ;) If you thought the last chapter had a graphic lemons... let's just say that the lemonade is so strong in this chapter, it will be pouring out of your screen. (Hopefully.) I am trying to beat my lemon score with this one. I suggest reading this next to an air conditioner, having a large glass of ice water handy, and when you're done, find the latest toy, shower-head, or man to to occupy you for a few hours. Just saying.** You've been pre-warned.**

No beta still, as she has some things going on (but I love her dearly); please excuse ALL errors, including spelling!!!  
Also, for those of you asking, **Bella and Edward would have been married April 25th**. :D

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**THIS CHAPTER**, ACCORDING TO MY PROGRAM, **IS 90 PAGES LONG. 51, 400+ words.**  
I hope that makes up for the time it took to post.

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_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

_**"Yeah I love my baby....heart and soul.  
Love like ours won't never grow old...  
She's my sweet little thang....she's my pride and joy.  
...She's my sweet little baby....  
I'm her little lover boy'"**_

_**~ Stevie Ray Vaughan, "Pride And Joy"**_

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**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Endlessly Drowning  
(PT 2 of the Honeymoon)**

**EdwardPOV **

I felt our bodies swaying in the gentle breeze, heard the sounds of the waves hitting the rocks around us, and opened my eyes as soon as my arm beneath Bella began to grow numb. We'd spent most of the day in the water. I rented a jet-ski and took her out. We circled the entire island.

Now, Bella and I were napping on a white hammock, hung between two sturdy palm trees... it was the best way to spend the vacation, besides the sex. Whenever people ask you: _'if you could be anywhere in the world, no worries about cost or anything else, where would you be?' _...This moment... this would be it for me. Swinging in a hammock, sun blazing down, nice cool breeze, ocean beside me, crystal powder sand beneath, cold Corona between my legs, and my beautiful wife wrapped up in my arms, her head on my chest, in a peaceful somber... my child in her stomach... My life, so far, couldn't get any better than this.

I licked my lips and adjusted my arm beneath her, before taking my free hand and starting to caress her stomach. It amazes me every day, seeing it start to inch out, knowing there's a new life starting in there. Thinking of everything we've been through and where we are now. I remember my father Carlisle once telling me, "_Edward, stay in the moment and absorb all of it, even if it's a shitty moment... because one day, you're going to look back at your life, and wonder what it took to get you where you are_." Those words never rang more true than right now. All the hell and the shit and everything else... if I didn't go through it, if Bella didn't go through it, then we may not have made it here. She may not be my wife, and that may not be my child growing inside of her. _...Shit is crazy how it does and doesn't work out._

Bella's hand fell above mine on her stomach, and she smiled before opening her eyes, "Hey handsome."

"Hey..." I whispered. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No, I'm awake... I was just thinking."

"What are you thinking about?"

She bit her lip, blushing slightly, "sex."

"Yeah?" I laughed. "Haven't you gotten sick of me yet?"

"Oh no," she shook her head, closing her eyes. "Not by a long shot."

I kissed the side of her head, enjoying the palm trees providing shade over my face and most of her body, "what part of sex are you thinking about?"

She bit her lip, shrugging, deciding to go bashful.

I turned my head and adjusted my body to face her better, "Bella?"

"Hmm?"

I smiled, stroking down her pink cheek, "tell me something that you want to try."

She shrugged again.

"Come on," I whispered soothingly, pecking her top lip, "just tell me. You know some of mine."

"Well," she began timidly. "...I always imagined you and I making love..."

"...Yes?..."

"Blindfolded."

"Like, me blindfolding you?" _Simple enough._

She shook her head, "the both of us, at the same time."

"Hmm, that could be interesting," I pondered, "..dangerous, if we were around sharp objects, but could be enjoyable. Opening the other senses and whatnot..."

Her eyes widened, "Really?"

"Sure," I smiled, "what else?"

She licked her lips, loosening up a bit, "Well... what about role-play?"

I laughed, shaking my head, "What, like you being in a schoolgirl outfit? I could enjoy that."

"No, like a whole scene," she slapped my chest playfully, "like... we have to stay in character... we could do anything... police man, one night stand, nurse and doctor..."

I felt myself unable to quit smiling, "...interesting... as long as you're still Bella and I'm still Edward... I don't want to have any fantasies about fucking other women."

"What, like you haven't thought about some movie star or-"

"Never," I reassured her.

"Really?"

"Really."

"...Me neither."

"That's good." _Damn good._

"Have you..." Her voice trailed off, and she looked away, blushing again.

"Go on."

"Have you... ever had any type of anal play?"

I smiled at her. I'm not telling her anything. Not yet.

"Okay... what about having it done to you?"

My left eyebrow raised, and I chuckled slightly, "like with dildos and shit? Hell no. I'm not homophobic, but... no."

"What about just a finger? Would you be open to that idea? Maybe just touching the area, not entering?"

_What the hell? _ "Uh... I've never been open to the idea before, but ...yeah, maybe with you, I'd... _possibly _consider it. Maybe." _Not a definite. _"I mean, I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to possibly explore it, if you wanted to, but there's no guarantees I'd like it."

"You might."

"You're right, I might."

"Did last night bother you, with what I was trying to do?"

I shook my head, "it was nice. _Very _nice, once I let go of myself, which I admit, took me a while. But shit Bella, the things you can do with that talented little mouth of yours..." I adjusted myself nonchalantly, "I need to just quit thinking about it before I get hard."

Instantly, her hand slipped over my board shorts, "no, don't stop thinking about it..."

I watched as her hand began to pet over the velcro fastening, shook my head and grinned cockily, "Bella, don't wake him up unless you're planning on entertaining him."

"I definitely plan to entertain him, Edward. It's my job, as your wife, after all."

I laughed, teasing, "damn straight. I knew there was a good reason I married you."

She nudged me with her elbow, then awkwardly climbed up to her knees, the hammock threatening to tip and knock us in the sand. I stiffened, preparing myself to catch her, though if the hammock tipped, there was no way she wasn't going to fall. But thankfully, she steadied us, then decided to swing her leg over and straddle me. I moved my body to the center before we went over in the opposite direction, and then gripped her hips, and admired her sexy body in her baby blue tank top and denim, cut-off, mini shorts.

She started to rock into me, her hands on my stomach, her long hair on the right side of her face and streaming down her shoulders. I listened to my Corona, now tipped over and facing the dirt, poured out the rest of its contents into the sand. But all I could focus on the way her body felt above mine.

"Edward..."

"Yes love."

"I... have a confession to make."

I looked up from her breasts and found her face blushing again, "...okay, what's up?"

"Last night... when you and I were in that... _position_... I sort of liked where I was."

"What position?"

Her blush grew immensely, and her voice lowered to a bare whisper, "being on... your... face."

I licked my lips, instant flashbacks of her quivering thighs against my cheek, her wet heat against my nose and mouth, the high heels above my head... I realized I was fantasizing about it too much, because not only did I grow much harder beneath her, but her face was shameful, her thinking I didn't like it.

I snapped myself out if it, shaking my head, "I loved it."

"...Really?"

"Fuck yeah," I rubbed her hips, "are you kidding me? What did I tell you, back in the cabin? I want to name a food group after you so I can do it every single damn day."

"Well," she shook her head, "you couldn't do it every day, anyway."

"Why not?"

"Because... you know... you're a _gynecologist-in-training_... Feminine reasons, to be more specific."

I laughed, moving my hands up to knead her breasts over the tank-top, "so what?"

"What do you mean, so what?"

"It's only blood."

"Wh-" Her mouth dropped, her eyes widened. She stilled her dry-fucking, _dammit_.

"What?" I laughed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You cannot be serious."

I shrugged, "so what if I am? It's not like I've ever done it before with anyone else, but I'd do it with you, no problem. Maybe I was a vampire in a past life or some shit. Blood doesn't bother me."

"Ew, Edward, that's sick."

"Bella, come on. Think about it. What happens when you prick your finger or something? Instinct tells you to stick it in your mouth, to soothe it with your tongue. What the hell is the difference? I'm going to have sex with you when you're on your period, so why n-"

"_What_?" Her mouth fell open more.

I tilted my head at her, smiling assuringly, "Bella, babe, please... Don't knock that one until you try it. It's supposed to be the best feeling ever for a woman. You know how, you're pregnant, and you have all these hormones, and it makes you want me all the time?"

"...Yeah..."

"It's the same with your cycle. Extra hormones. More blood pumping down there, more senses, more everything. Trust me, it'd feel amazing to you. Plus it's known to alleviate cramps, and orgasm can sometimes lessen or even stop the flow of blood, create a shorter cycle for you. That way, the both of us win. Besides, we have showers and towels if you're that concerned about it. And, we don't to worry about that for at least... what... Like six more months or some shit."

She leaned forward, resting her head on my chest, "You're... kind of a freak, behind closed doors. How can you be so sweet and charming, but such a sex God behind the door?"

"Remember when you and I were back in Seattle, and I told you that you had no idea what I meant when I suggested '_anything and everything'_? That I could show you a hell of a lot about sex, shit you couldn't imagine knowing?"

"...Yes..."

"This is just the tip of the iceberg."

"It's not that I don't... _want _to do some of the things you're suggesting, it's just that I never have, and I hate that I'm ammature, and that you're so-"

"Baby, come here..." I moved her up my body and cradled her face in my hands, "listen. If _anything _makes you absolutely uncomfortable, I'll stop suggesting it, right now. If you want to try something, even if you think I won't like it, suggest it, please. I'm open to just about anything. I want you to know that I didn't marry you based on our past sexual experiences when we were apart. I married you because I love you and I want to explore these ideas _together_, with you. I want us to have no boundaries, no insecurities, no worries. I want us to be free with each other. But I only want what will make _you _happy too. I don't want to ever hurt you or make you uncomfortable, all right?"

She smiled and gave me a nod, "all right."

"Is there anything you're absolutely against?"

"Ball-gags, chains, excruciating pain caused by slapping and whatnot."

"Well good thing I'm against all that too."

She giggled, kissing my lips gently.

"Bella," I tucked her hair behind her ears, "tell me your darkest fantasy. Something that you've never said out loud before."

She took a deep breath, relaxing herself, "Um... well... you're going to look at me differently, but lately, when I'm alone and by myself... like if you're at work or whatever... I sort of imagine you being mean to me."

"_Mean _to you?"

She blushed, "Yeah... kind of like you were in the garage that night in the cabin, when I pissed you off... I've sort of wondered what it'd be like to have sex with you, and you saying all that stuff in my ear you said that night, and like... pulling on my hair and using me as you want, calling me names and stuff... I mean, I know you wouldn't mean any of it, but... sometimes, I think it'd be kind of... hot."

I stared at her for a moment, discombobbled. She never ceased to amaze me.

"I told you you'd look at me different."

I shook my head, gathering my thoughts, "So... just so we're on the same page... You want me to fuck you. Like, _fuck you_, fuck you."

"It's something I think about, yeah. I'd love to see what kind of things you'd say, and how hot it'd make me. I'd love to witness an animalistic side of you, just to have you let loose, and not worry about saying something that might upset me or whatever. I think I could handle it. In fact, I _know _I could."

I inhaled, thinking it over. "I mean... it's something that takes a lot of mental strain. No matter how much you love someone, if they're calling you a bitch and yanking your hair and just plowing into you, you neve know Bella, you could be thinking that's the way I really think and really want to treat you, and it's definitely not."

"No, I know that. It could be... another form of role-play, I guess."

I pondered more, "Mmhmm."

_Could she really handle that? With everything in her past..._

_Could I? _

I wanted her to tell me her darkest fantasy so that I could fulfill it, but the thought of treating her like a whore... didn't settle the best with me. I've done that with other women, but that's because I didn't give a fuck about them. However, the thought of using her as I wanted, being animalistic... of her surrendering to me in certain ways... that part did.

I pursed my lips, "Here's the thing. I don't like to see you in pain, I don't like to hurt you in any way... but if you _really _want to explore that path, then I can do it. I won't be a complete and utter dick, because even though you could handle it, I'm not sure _I _could. But I think I could handle tossing you around a bit," I laughed playfully. "I'd be lying if I said it hadn't crossed my mind also. We just have to be careful with the baby."

"Okay. Good."

"But you have to know, and this is important: If I call you something, or do something out of the ordinary, that's because it's _out of the ordinary_. I don't mean it. All right? Deal?"

"Deal."

"And if I do anything and it starts to bother you, upset you, whatever, just let me know and I'll immediately stop."

"Okay."

"And, I think that, if we're going to be doing a lot of new things, we should have a safe system."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back down against my chest, careful not to tip us, "last night was all right, because we didn't do anything brand new, just something at the same time for a change. I mean, yeah, you took over a bit of my control, but I was aware of what was going on. But I think that if we are going to explore more details, then we need to come up with a _'safe-word'_, first of all. That way, if we're uncomfortable, all we have to do is say the word, and we can stop. It doesn't have to be awkward after, we can just quit and do something else, no questions asked."

"Another, if either of us are drunk, we need to make sure each other are a hundred percent aware of the decisions being tossed around. Not that I think we'd take advantage of each other, but... it's best not to be shit-faced when we're trying new things. Let's just put it that way. And... we need to be open and honest, like we're doing now. There's a difference between being playfully surprised, and keeping a secret until it's just too late. And... uh... we just have to make sure the other person is a hundred and fifty percent okay with whatever we're trying. It's not a big deal to say 'no', you'd never hurt my feelings, and we could just move on and think of something else. Is that all right?"

"Yeah. I like those ideas."

"Great. So... what should our _'safe-word' _be?"

"Mmmm," she began to kiss above my chest, on my white t-shirt, tossing ideas in her mind, "what about... _pineapple_?"

I laughed, rubbing her back, "you've been mentioning pineapple a lot lately... are you craving it?"

"Yeah," she giggled, "... but it's not related to sex, so I think it'd be simple enough."

"All right. _Pineapple _it is."

"Can we go get some?"

"Sex?"

She laughed, "Pineapple... and then, yeah, maybe some sex."

"Sure."

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**BellaPOV**

I sat on the island, swinging my legs back and forth, munching on cold pineapple cubes. I couldn't get enough of it. I'm sure I've almost ate my weight in pineapple by now.

"Bella," Edward said, sitting on the counter near the kitchen sink, across from me, "can I ask you a personal question?"

I looked at him, tilting my head, "there are no personal questions, remember? Go ahead."

"Well, I was just thinking back to a few moments in the cabin... one playing truth or dare, or twenty questions or something. Uh... Have you ever done anything with a girl?"

"Yes."

Instantly his eyebrow raised, curiosity spreading over his emerald eyes.

"What, did you want to know specifics?"

"Uh... yes. Was that even a question?"

I laughed, shaking my head, "A few girls in college. Colleen being the main one. All the other girls, I just like made out and danced with."

He crossed his arms, leaning against the glass cabinet behind his head, "...so... what happened with you and Colleen?"

"Oh you know, the usual things that college girls do when they're experimenting."

"Bella, I'll break it down for you, since you're being stubborn. Kissing, obviously. Petting?"

"Yes."

"Fingering?"

"Yes."

"Toys?"

"A couple."

"_Oral_?"

"Almost, but I chickened out."

He licked his lips, eyes glinting mischief and arrogance, "_scissor position_, perhaps?"

"Possibly," I winked at him.

"I knew it," he shook his head, grinning, "I told you that you were a vixen. And Colleen doing it to you? Dear God."

I beamed at him, "and if you ever tell any of your friends about that, and I find out, you'll be cut off. Got it?"

"Yeah, okay," he shrugged. "Would you ever have a three-some?"

"Not with you. I wouldn't want any other girl touching you. Not even Colleen, though she'd be the only girl I'd share a man with. I'd fuck their shit up."

"Hmm," he pondered. "What about me and another guy?"

"No. I only want you."

Edward smiled, "That's what I wanted to hear. Same goes for me. By the way, did you know that pineapple is rumored to make women aroused?"

"No."

"Mmhmm. Tropical fruit always does. It also can change the way you taste and it's rumored to induce labor."

"Well, we don't want that," I rubbed my stomach.

He chuckled, rubbing his five o' clock shadow on his jaw, "we don't have to worry about that."

I took a moment to study him. _So beautiful, my man_. Really. Broad, strong shoulders. Arms that were muscular, but not scary-strong. The perfect swimmer body. Firm chest, the 8-pack abs, that V-shape indents between his hips, the treasure trail... Nice calves, proportioned legs. Not to mention what was beneath those plaid, tan and white board shorts of his. That, in itself, was another object that deserved to be studied all in itself.

I loved a tall man, and he fit that category perfectly. Facial scruff. Copper dissarayed, perfect hair I love more than my life, almost. Everything about his face was infatuating. It almost _hurt_ to look at him. From his bright green eyes, reminding me of emerald stones held up against a light, sparkles and all... To his pouted lips, to the way the lines form on the sides of his mouth when he gives one of his many smiles... Long, dark lashes. Even his ears were perfectly proportioned with his head. Perpendicular nose, a few barely visible freckles thanks to the sun we got here. And his _hands_... My God, I loved his hands so much. I found myself constantly touching them. They were soft, not calloused. Firm, long, trained fingers... His nails always cut and cleaned... He really, really was just... _perfect_.

Taking a staggering inhale, I peeled my eyes from his chest, and found his charming face again. And he was just fucking grinning at me, like he knew every damn thought in my mind.

"What?" I asked, smiling shamefully.

He drug his tongue across his bottom lip, before turning his wet lips into a crooked smile, "Nothing."

I blushed, shaking my head, "you're so sure of yourself, aren't you? You arrogant little man."

"Well, I have had twenty-three years to grow acquainted with myself."

"And I bet you've enjoyed every minute of it."

"Damn straight." _See? Arrogance. But I loved it, all the same._

"Edward, just so you know, there's an extremely fine line between confidence and cockiness."

"And where do I stand?"

"Where do you _think _you stand?"

He hopped off the counter, and strolled toward me, "...How about we find out?" He parted my legs and moved between them, his face directly in front of mine.

I took a pineapple cube and ran it across his lips, enjoyed watching the juice run down his chin, "Ooops. Let me get that for you. I'm so clumsy..." I leaned in and smiled, before licking from his adam's apple, up, over his chin, and on his bottom lip. He drew his tongue out, the tip meeting mine, before pulling it back in and kissing my lips.

He moved back and licked his mouth, before taking a cube and putting it against my lips. I smiled, allowing him to push it in my mouth, but caught his index finger before he could pull it out. I grabbed his hand and pushed his finger into my mouth, allowing him to feel the back of my throat when I swallowed the fruit, then licked around his finger, and slowly slipped it out. He tapped his wet digit against my bottom lip, then ran it down it's width, side to side. His eyes looked darkened, and his mouth was open, his tongue bouncing inside like he was thinking something dirty. _Hmm, I wonder what that might be, wink wink_.

I bit my lip, kissing the tip of his pointer. "Edward?"

"Hmm?"

I dropped my hands to the velcro on his shorts, and popped it open.

He smiled and looked down, watching me work, "and what do you think you're doing?"

"I want to try something with you."

"Yeah? What's that?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course. What a silly question."

I licked my lips and released his shorts, then twisted around on the counter, to where I faced the same wall he was looking at. Then I scooched forward on the island, and laid back, to where my head hung off.

Immediately, he caught a hint at what I was wanting to do, as I put my hands back in his shorts and released him from the confinements. "Bella, are you... sure about this?"

"Oh yeah," I smiled, adjusting myself on the island more comfortable. "Alice told me something during my batchelorette party, and I want to see if it's true."

"If what's true? Giving yourself a blood-rush?"

"Seeing if I can take you all the way in my mouth. _All _the way. More than ever before."

He chuckled lightly, his hands gripping my hips, "Baby, I really don't want you to fall off this thing. You're pretty high up."

"Just hold onto me then. I really want to. Can I, please?"

"You're asking me permission to suck me off? Bella, you _never _have to ask my permission. It's always there at your convenience."

I licked my lips and moved him closer, teasing the tip by rubbing it across my lips like a tube of lipstick. I listened as his breathing cut short, and felt his fingers tighten against my skin. I pulled away and smiled up at him, "Remember, don't get too excited and yank me off of here by accident, okay? And _relax_... I want you to enjoy this."

He shook his head, smiling down at me, "You know I'm going to fucking watch this shit, right?"

Without responding, I gave him a wink and took him into my mouth. He locked up and held me still, exhaling slowly. I teased him for a few moments, flicking my tongue against the head, teasing the hole on top, scraping my tongue down the underside of him. I licked both of my hands and gripped him firmly at the base, steadying him for the best fit. I waited for a couple seconds, until enough saliva was built up in my mouth, then took him back in and pushed him to me, my hands gripping his ass.

Edward grunted with each inch I took in, his hands shakingly massaging my knees, "_Jesus_, Bella." I inhaled through my nose and tightened my lips around, moving him in and out of my mouth, faster and faster. Each time I pulled him out, I made sure to suck hard when I brought the tip back in. He hissed, exhaling staggardly, "Oh fuck." Kneading the skin of his ass beneath his shorts, I continued to push his hips toward my face, and felt him hitting the back of my throat. It made me want to gag at first, but once I tilted my head a few inches to my right, it somehow seemed to miss my gag reflex all together. Working up the courage, I moved him further, and felt his hard form sliding past it, into the tight depths of my throat.

He stopped moving, his breath catching, his shaking fingers locked on me. I listened as he struggled to speak, to breathe, and then I swallowed with him still there. He moaned, "That feels so damn good, Bella. Please don't you fucking stop." While I bobbed, allowing my throat to adjust to him, I slipped my hands up the back of his shorts, to the small of his back. It was a bit clammy, as his body started to overheat, being worked by my movements. Again, I pushed him further, beyond the points I've had him in the past, and he groaned even louder, bent over, and dropped his head to my stomach, "Jesus Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh fuck Bella. Fuck. _Ohhh..._"

His breath was hot on my stomach and coming in pants. His stomach and hands shook. I started to push and pull his hips, allowing myself to adjust to him, allowing him to move the saliva and keep my throat lubricated so he'd slide better. "_Ungh_, B-Bella, fuck, I c-can't... _Sssssshhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiittttt_." I moaned and he gasped at the vibrations, burying his face into the skin bared beneath my tank-top. I wanted to smile. I shut my eyes, prepared myself, and pushed him until the rest of his body met my face. His voice dropped, and I didn't think he was breathing anymore.

I held his shaking form still, and tried to ignore the sounds of me sucking, to listen to his breath. If I didn't know I was pleasing him so well, I would have thought he was having a panic attack. I could practically feel his heart beat in his form, aside from the general throbbing of it's perfect hardness. I loved the way he tasted and felt, gliding in and out of my mouth. I loved to lick him, to suck on him. Swirling around his sweet pre-cum with my tongue. I loved every single thing about it, and I _never _imagined myself to love giving head like I did, but with Edward, it was so much better than anything else. Maybe because I wanted to please him as much as he pleased me. Maybe it was another way to show him I loved him. The more and more I did it, the more I understood when he talked about adding oral sex to a daily routine. It sure made a hell of a lot of sense, after all.

I felt his fingers shaking, finding the button to my blue jean shorts. I wanted to ask him what he was doing, wanted to tell him he didn't have to do this, that this moment was for him. As a thank you for last night, on top of all the other things, like choosing me for his life. But he kept panting and grunting while I worked, fighting the urge to rock his hips, cursing under his breath. Everything about what he was doing made me not want to stop, and there was no way I was. F_uck it, let him do what he wants_. It's not like whatever he was about to do, I was going to hate. _Like that was ever possible_. I moaned around him again, enjoying his shudders. He pushed my shorts down, and I heard him curse a faint, "fuck," when he noticed I wasn't wearing anything beneath them. I helped him by kicking them off.

But then, he flipped my entire world around. Quite literally. One moment, I was laying on my back on the island, pleasuring him. The next, I was in his fucking arms, upside down, my legs wrapped around his head, his arms tight around my waist. With the angle, he went straight back down my throat and I about gagged because that time was unexpected, but quickly used my hands on his thighs to push myself back enough. His tongue found and opened me up slowly, and I shuddered, releasing him from my mouth. "Edward!" I was fucking _HANGING UPSIDE DOWN_, when he was doing this. Thighs on his shoulders, legs crossed around his neck, heels on top of his head. I moaned loud when his perfectly warm and wet tongue found my spot and he began to suck delicately on me. But I didn't want to stop, and it took every single ounce of willpower I had to control myself enough. Without my permission, my hips began to rock into his face in a circle. I felt him sliding in and out of my throat, as far as I could push him. He'd stop every once in a while and catch his breath, but then he just went right back to work. And my _God_, I felt everything he was doing to me, like he was sending volts of electricity into my body. The ups and downs, the ins and outs, the lapping and sucking and teasing... I loved his tongue. I loved his lips. I loved this man.

I didn't notice he was even walking until we crashed down on the couch, him beneath me. I moaned as he dove his slick tongue inside me and swirled, before pulling out and doing it again. I pushed down, wanting as much of it as I could. I used both my hands and my lips, twisting my hands on his form like I was ringing out a towel, and sucked hard on the tip, my tongue probing him. He gasped, his fingers squeezing my ass cheeks, pushing his hips up to my mouth. I allowed him to move in and out as far as he wanted to freely. I didn't care if he was fucking my face. I was doing the exact same thing to him. And I _liked _it. I liked being this free, dropping more and more of my inhibitions by the second. _Only with Edward._

He pushed one of his long, skilled fingers in me and I pulled him out of my mouth for a second, calling out his name. I moaned, feeling him flicking his tongue on my clit, over and over and over and over and over again, faster and faster each time. Driving me crazy and slowing down, then doing it all over again. Another finger was added easily, and I could only imagine how wet I was for him. But again, for the first time, I didn't worry about it. He obviously liked it, so until he complained, neither would I. I felt my insides throbbing, my stomach tightening. But so was his form, in my hands. With that thought, I pushed him back in my mouth, tried to match the attention he was giving me with the attention I was giving him. It only took two times of deep throating him, and his mouth stilled beneath my thighs, while he shot off into my mouth . I gulped him down and pushed him as deep as he could go. "Fuck Bella!" he panted, his hot breath meeting me and making me shiver between my thighs. I sucked him until there was no more, then licked around the tip, making sure to clean him off good. He deserved it.

He came down trembling slightly and telling me that he loved me, then went right back to work where I was. There was a second of insecurity that flashed over me, now that I wasn't working him, but it quickly vanished when he started to use his fingers and his lips on mine once more. Before I thought about it, I rose up, sitting straight, and arched my back, my hands finding the arm of the couch behind me, where his head rested. I squeezed the couch, shivering over him. I'd never felt as intense as I did, at this angle. That electric shock feeling engulfed me. And he encouraged me, his hands finding my hips, forcing me to rock on him. Like he enjoyed having me cover his face. Maybe he did, _obviously _he did. I moaned his name, squeezing the top of the couch with my left hand, about ripping the stuffing out of it.

"Ungh, baby, so c-close!" I panted, my heart heavy and pounding in my chest, in my throat, in my ears. "Shit, shit, Edward! So good..." I couldn't close my mouth, couldn't open my eyes. Couldn't focus on the many windows surround the place we were staying in. All I could think about was the constant shudders he was putting into my body. The feeling of his slick tongue and wet lips and perfect fingers. His hands began their roam around my body, and he massaged me while his mouth worked, around my thighs, the small of my back, the pressure points on my hips, my inner-thighs, my pubic bone.

"Don't stop, Edward," I blew my sticky hair out of my face, the heat around my skin overtaking me. I started to tremble when he dove his tongue back inside. His pointer finger found my clit, and then his thumb slipped beneath his jaw, and he shyly stroked around my ass. I wanted to tense up, since he'd never touched me there before like _that_. I wanted to tell myself how foreign it was... but the problem? I really liked it. _No, no, screw that_. I _loved _it. It intensified _everything_. I loved how one finger was on my clit, his amazing, wet tongue was inside of me, and his thumb brushed around that area. It felt like he had complete control of me, more so than ever before. My entire body lit up and I about broke my back with my arch, and all he did was apply pressure -- not to enter -- but enough pressure to let me know he was there, and I just _SCREAMED _out in pleasure and came harder than ever. I couldn't even swallow. I couldn't stop shaking, or panting, I felt my head grow dizzy, my body lock up and throb, the push of his tongue deeper inside.

Right when I thought I couldn't take any more, he started moving with his fingers and his mouth, all over again, and another one hit me. "UNGH, EDWARD!" I screamed, shuddering over him. I really couldn't breathe at that point. My chest heaved, my face contorted, and if he didn't take the time to stop with his hands and catch me, I would have fallen off of him _and _the couch. I moved forward and flattened myself over him, shaking so hard that I felt like an earthquake ripped inside of me.

Before I could comprehend what the hell just happened, I felt him picking me back up again, and we were moving, heading toward the bedroom. He lay me on my back and stood between my legs, just the slightest brush of his fingers sent me back into overdrive.

"Look at you right now... flushed and heated... so beautiful, Bella."

I bit my lip, still post-orgasmic. I couldn't even be nervous when I watched him spread my legs. I couldn't comprehend the fact that he was clearly studying my form, which he'd never just openly done. I mean, yeah, sure, we'd done it a hundred times by now, but he never took the time to _really _look at me. And I didn't care; I felt too _good _to care. I felt like I could do anything. I never had a single orgasm that powerful before. And then another extreme one right after it. It was an incredible feeling. Empowering even.

I watched his legs spreading between mine, making my legs part more. I noticed the sweat glistening off of me, and grabbed my tank-top, before arching my back and yanking it off of my chest. Now I was naked, and he still had his plain white t-shirt on. But it felt so much better, being naked. The air conditioner could have been on fifty degrees, but being with my sexy, God-like husband made it feel like it was a hundred and fifty.

"Bella," he said, shaking his head slowly, "I have to say... I love you so fucking much right now. _Look _at you..."

I smiled, stretching out my arms over my head. I felt intoxicated, or high, or maybe both. I didn't care if I was laying, spread eagle in front of him, in broad daylight, in a bedroom full of windows. I felt on fire, in a good way. I'm sure the baby inside of me was loving all the extra warmth inside of my body just as much as I was.

He ran his left hand down between my breasts, across my diaphragm, and around the circle of my belly button. He pressed down a bit on my left hip, hitting that sensitive pressure point that made me think about sex. I gasped, rolling my eyes in the back of my head, "Mmmm."

"Do you like that?"

"Yes."

He licked his thumb on his right hand and slipped it between my legs, focusing right on my clit, "and this?"

"Mmhmm," I breathed, shuddering. I bit my lip, closed my eyes, and arched my back, enjoying every touch he was giving me. I felt his finger circling lightly, brushing across me... One finger there, another on that sensitive spot of my hip, and I was moaning. I knew he was watching me. Knew he was _studying _me, to be more precise. But I still didn't care at all. It felt amazing. I was like a goddess being worshiped, and all I wanted to do was baske in it. Never in my life had I felt so confident and liberated.

_Ahhh.... The things Edward Cullen could do to you._

Not even a minute later, I was exploding into a million little Bella's, grasping at the sheets, all over his hand, I'm sure. I couldn't even speak, all I did was suck in a large gasp of air and hold it until my heart stopped beating into my ringing ears and my fingers unlocked themselves.

When I finally relaxed into the sheets, I opened my eyes, and found Edward smiling down at me smugly, "That's three... and..." He looked at his watch, "it's barely reaching Noon. I'll definitely hit twenty by the end of this night."

I mock-frowned, playfully, "I thought you were going to try to do twenty in a row, like you did last night with the twelve."

He bent over me, his hands beside my head, his weight held high, and whispered against my lips, "I am. Greedy."

"But then why did you say _that's three_?"

"Practice."

"Practice?"

"Seeing what works."

"Ahh. I see," I ran my hand over his chest, "by the way, you look so sexy right now."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm."

"Sexy enough to do me?" he grinned.

I smiled, pushing up that white, v-neck t-shirt, "Mmhmm."

"Sexy enough to do me right now?"

"...Mmhmm," I brushed through his tousled hair.

He helped me pull off the last article of clothing and settled himself between my legs, and entered me without hesitation. We settled into a gentle rocking, not too fast, not too slow. He knew all the ways to kiss my neck, to brush my hair, to pull me up to him when I wanted him to, even when I didn't ask. He knew me inside and out, and I made sure to show the same with him. Rocking in his lap, rolling over and riding, lifting my hips to meet him, stroking him at the same time... and before I knew it, I was seeing stars and rainbows and sunshine and a billion Edward Cullen orgasm faces floating around on cartoon clouds in my mind.

And I'll say it again: ..._Ahhh.... The things Edward Cullen could do to you._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I woke up to find the bed naked beside me.

Edward wasn't there.

I hadn't realized that I fell asleep after our latest tryst, until just now.

But it was so easy to fall asleep, being wrapped up in his arms. It came so naturally for me. Because I felt safe with him.

Curling the white sheet around me, I tip-toed out of the bedroom, checked the bathroom, strolled through the kitchen, the living room, the sitting room, the bar area... kept going and going and going, wondering if he left to go do something and didn't leave a note.

And then I heard it.

Sweet, strumming melodies of an acoustic guitar.

I walked outside toward the infinity pool, and found Edward, sitting in denim jeans, a navy blue v-neck t-shirt, no shoes, a cigarette dangling from his lips, his bronzed hair looking like he had been tugging through it, and an acoustic guitar I hadn't seen before. He had his green eyes closed, his long lashes fluttering against his skin, humming a melody in his head, the sun lowering down onto his face as night threatened to take over the daylight. He looked so relaxed, far off from everything else. I felt my heart clenching, in all the best ways. I wished I had a camera to take a picture of him in that moment.

There was nothing I loved more than Edward when he played his music.

"La da da-da-da-da..." his velvety voice coo'ed quietly, he shook his head slowly, strumming a few strings with his thumb. His face held nothing but passion, and even an ache, of some sort. He inhaled his cigarette, not bothering to touch it, and blew the smoke out of his nose, humming his raspy voice in perfect harmony.

When he opened his eyes and found me standing caddy-corner from him, he smiled, and pulled the cigarette from his lips, "...Hey baby..."

I smiled, my heart melting into a million butterflies, "Hey... I didn't mean to interrupt... I wasn't sure where you were, until I heard the guitar and..." My voice trailed off as I got lost in his perfection, and I shrugged my shoulders.

"No, no, it's fine, you didn't interrupt." He leaned over, patting a clothed bench to his left by the open fireplace, "Here, come sit by me."

I smiled, doing as he asked, "you look so handsome right now."

"Thank you," he took a drag, blowing the smoke away from my face, "did you sleep all right?"

"I did... How long was I out?"

"About six hours."

"Oh my gosh, Edward, I'm so sorry, I didn't'-"

"No, don't be silly, Bella. I didn't mind. It's fine."

"Did you sleep?"

He shook his head, "No, I wasn't real tired. Just picked up the place a bit and have been strumming on this thing. Oh, and I cooked you some dinner. Mushroom Ravioli with a hint of garlic and herb. It's in the oven on warm."

"Thank you," I shivered, feeling nervous and ancy and just really in-love with him that moment, "I've never seen that guitar before."

He smiled, strumming the chords once, "Alice got this for me on the day of our wedding. She mistook it for the one I broke. She thought I snapped my acoustic, but really, it was my electric. I didn't want to correct her, because I love it all the same. It's something, isn't it?"

"It's beautiful."

"Like you," he grinned.

I blushed, biting my bottom lip, "So... what were you playing?"

"Oh, just fiddling around."

I watched as he licked his lips, and felt my insides tingle, "Can you play something for me?"

"Uhhh..." He studied the lowering sun out across the ocean, pondering thoughts in his mind in silence. I watched his expression, how his lips parted, how he inhaled his cigarette and let the smoke out slowly, the white fog teasing his lips as it flowed off of it and into the air. "Only one song is coming to mind this moment, and I wrote it a couple years back..."

"That's fine."

"I, uh," he cleared his throat, looking over at me, "I wrote it about you."

"Two years ago, you wrote it about me?"

"Yes... I was going through one of my rough times and I was thinking about you and, uh..." He scoffed, shaking his head, "How much I missed you, and I was really a hopeless case at the time, and everyone thought I was crazy, but... I mean, what can you do, you know?"

My entire body was shaking and I wrapped the covers around me more, "...Was it a bad song?"

"Mmm... not exactly. I was having it pretty rough... You know, drinking a lot, depression, other shit... The girls I was seeing thought it was bad...," he chuckled, "but that's because they were always being compared to you. They knew I never loved anyone else but... you, and that I never would."

I chewed on my fingernail, studying his eyes and the gold flecks that were in him, "I wanna hear it."

"Are you ...sure? I mean, it's depressing, and we're on our Honeymoon, baby. Do you remember when I told you I was with Tanya, and thought I saw you, and about that rush of panic I had? This was around that time..."

"I still want to hear it... Please?"

He sighed, taking a sip of his bottle of water, "All right... It's pretty slow."

"I like slow."

"And depressing, in a way. Longing."

I nodded, "please?"

Edward smiled, "perfect timing, since the sun is going down. It looks beautiful on your face, by the way."

I blushed, "thank you Edward."

"You're welcome Bella," he smiled genuinely. "All right... here we go."

I watched as his fingers strummed the chords with his right hand, and moved along the spots with his left... How he licked his lips and fluttered his lashes closed... How he focused in on the melodies so much, that he'd slowly shake his head, or move it to the left, or just to the right, as he felt the words...

And then, with that raspy voice I love so much, he sang with a sadness and aching that tugged at my heart strings and made me want to cry:

"_Mmm...  
Ohhh... I'm counting down...  
Hoping the time has come, to let it out.  
Every time I try to breathe...  
I feel suffocating,  
I'm on my knees...  
I felt the cold and dark run through my veins...  
Shivered when I heard her call my name..._

_She burns like summer sun,  
I know she's the only one I want,  
Even when she's gone away...  
I felt the heat on my skin, and my head starts spinning,  
...Too much is never enough,  
When she burns like summer sun ...for me._

_And ohhh... I'm holding out...  
Now that the time has come, for giving in.  
...So just for tonight would you keep me warm?  
Take away my pain...  
...Help me forget it all?  
I felt the cold and dark run through my veins...  
Shivered when I heard her call my name..._

_She burns like summer sun,  
I know she's the only one I want,  
Even when she's gone away...  
I felt the heat on my skin, and my head starts spinning,  
...Too much is never enough,  
She burns like summer sun ...for me._

_No... Yeah, she burns.  
Shalalalalalala..._

_The time has come, I'm counting down,  
Held my breath and I let it out,  
Now there's nothing left she can take from me..._

_She burns like summer sun,  
I know she's the only one I want,  
Even when she's gone away...  
I felt the heat on my skin, and my head starts spinning,  
...Too much is never enough,  
When she burns like summer sun ...for me._

_She burns like summer sun, oh no  
Burns like summer sun, oh, no, no  
Burns like summer sun, sing with me now, oh,  
Burns like summer sun... for me_."

I watched as he moved forward a bit, his lips parted, his eyes remaining closed, and then he licked his bottom lip and exhaled slowly.

It was a lot harder to hear it than I thought... Maybe because it was eery, and made me realize how much pain he was in, as if I didn't know from everything else he'd mentioned. Or maybe because, though it was hauntingly depressing, it was also quite beautiful... the way he had me in his mind all the time. The way he never let go, even when he was with everyone else... The way that I didn't either.

Those _lyrics _though... like how he said he held his breath and let it out, and then there was nothing left I could take from him... He was basically saying that I took everything, even his last breath, and that he really was a living shell without us being together... And how he was asking for other women to take the pain away for a little bit... that song summed up the past four years of Edward's life without me. Why he did some of the stupid things without me... The cold and dark, as the abuse he allowed in his body, because of the dark part in his life... _Everything_.

It crushed me, and mended me at the same time, because it made perfect damn sense.

He slowly opened his eyes and found mine, and I smiled, ignoring the streams of wetness down my cheeks and the swell of the heart in my chest. We stayed still for a moment, letting it all sink in, all his poetry and heartache and beauty... That message... waited until it absorbed deep within my being. I wanted to soak in it, so I knew just how much this was meant to be.

Then, because I didn't feel words would be enough, I walked over to him and crawled in his lap. Edward sat the guitar on the table and wrapped his arms around me, leaning back against the wicker backing of the little bench he was sitting in, and pressed his chin to the top of my head.

I sniffled, wiping my face. I wanted to tell him that it was beautiful and that I loved it, and understood everything.

I wanted to hug him and kiss him and have sex with him and just do anything I could to show him that I was here, and I'd do whatever it took to make up for my lost time. That I hurt when we were apart too. That I ached and longed for him. That I was so happy to have him back and that I loved him more than anything else.

But I didn't know if it'd be enough to express how I felt, so I opted for no words and a lot of hugging instead.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After Bella and I watched the sun set, I took her into the kitchen with me. She bit her lip, appearing a bit distracted, but every time I glanced at her, her smile was genuine, so I didn't worry too much about where her mind was. I know what her face looks like when she's bummed or upset. It didn't look that way.

"Edward?" she asked, while I prepared the food in a large bowl.

"Yes, love?"

"Can I wear your t-shirt? It just... it looks really warm. I mean, if you're not cold or anything..."

I smirked, backed away from the stove, and pulled it over my head. Walking over to her, I gave her a sweet kiss on her left cheek, and lifted her hands. She allowed the sheet to fall away from her silken nude frame, and I put it on and covered her with it. She smiled, wrapping her arms around herself, basking in it. It came a few inches past her hips, so she was mostly covered, though I knew what was beneath it -- or _not _beneath it.

I grabbed the drinks and the food and we moved into the living room. She sat beside me, her right leg curled in front of her, her left knee propped up toward her chest, the t-shirt blocking any important views. I turned on some soft music, this moment_ Elvis Presley, 'Can't Help Falling In Love_', and placed the bowl between us. She smiled as I lifted the fork to my lips and blew on it, before turning it to her. I didn't want her to burn her tongue. She took a bite, her eyes trained on me, and smiled as she chewed.

We shared the bowl of food in a sweet silence, full of smiles and occasional kisses when we couldn't help ourselves. She'd caress the back of my neck, her thumb beneath my hair line, and I'd massage her knee that was closest to me. I absolutely loved it. I loved enjoying each other's company, not having to worry about our friends mocking us, or the phone ringing, or anything else. We could be Edward and Bella, together.

Using my thumb, I wiped sauce beneath her bottom lip and licked it off. She giggled and blushed, sipping on the glass of water.

We sat there for a couple of hours, relaxing into each other and listening to oldies. By the end, she had her head on my chest, and we were laying down, me beneath her, arms around her, legs tangled. She nuzzled her face into my bare chest, shivering slightly.

I rubbed her back, and noticed my hand was much warmer than her skin. "Are you cold?" I asked.

"A little..."

"Do you want me to get you something? A cover or some hot tea?"

She shook her head and propped herself up on her arms, holding her weight over me, "Wanna take a hot bath with me? I noticed the tub could fit ten Emmett's."

I smiled, "Sure."

She got the bath situated while I grabbed some towels, drinks, and moved the mood music in. By the time I re-entered, I found the lights dimmed, candles, and the tub filled with the most beautiful woman I ever had the privilege of loving. Her hair pulled up on the top of her head, a few loose strands falling where they may. One piece ending with a small curl on the left side of her collar bone. I smirked, un-fastening my belt from my jeans, "do you have any room for me in there? Or is it all filled up?"

"Well," she took a dramatic look at the massive tub, "...I don't know..."

I bent down and kissed the top of her damp head, "please?"

She melted down a bit, and turned her head, offering her neck to me. I smirked, kissing along it, murmuring another "please?" between each peck, until my face about reached bubbles.

"Well," she whispered. "I suppose I can allow you to share."

The disk switched to _Mazzy Star, 'Fade Into You'. _I stripped and climbed in the opposite side of her, thankful the spout was in the middle of the tub, instead of on end.

Bella tilted her head, studying me, "Well... we can't have any of that."

"Any of what?" I laughed.

She moved her arms around the bubbles and water, gesturing the distance between us. The circular tub was fucking huge. Our feet weren't even touching, even if we extended.

I grinned, shrugging my shoulders, "and?"

Her mouth opened and she dropped her arms, an evident mock-frown, "You don't... wanna sit by me?"

I licked my lips, "now what do you think?"

"Well... if you wanted to... wouldn't you have done it?"

"Maybe I want to make you sweat a little."

She studied my eyes for a moment, then relaxed on her side, acting unphased, "yeah, you're right. We've been spending too much time on top of each other. We may end up getting sick of it. I think it's best we stay on separate sides of this massive tub."

I played along, "If... that's what you feel is best."

"It is," she replied bitterly.

"All right," I smirked. _You _s_tubborn, stubborn girl_.

I watched meanderly as she washed over her arms and massaged her neck, the hot water steaming from her eyes, the bubbles falling down or blowing away when she exhaled. She did her best to ignore me and act carefree, but I knew what she was thinking. She wanted me to cave. And I would. But I wanted to see what she'd do in the mean time.

After she was done, she leaned back against the tub bank, and curled her knees up toward her chest.

Her breasts were right beneath the surface, and I knew if I blew out a gust of air, the bubbles would fly away and they'd be revealed to me. The thought alone made me want to combust. I thought about stroking myself... but the last time I did that in front of her, she seemed nervous...

_Hmm_...

I ran my soapy fingers through my copper locks and tugged the ends.

Instantly, her eyes flashed to my face, and she frowned, "What is it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You tug on your hair when you're thinking or stressing. Especially if you tug backward. What is it?"

I smirked, shaking my head, "Nothing."

"Your smile is giving it away, Edward. It's something. What is it?" she pressed.

I studied her caramel eyes, almost losing my self in them, "I was... thinking about alleviating some pressure. Giving myself a massage."

"Are you sore?"

I shrugged, "sort of."

"Where at? Where were you going to massage?" Her eyes were so innocent. She had no clue. It turned me on more.

I grinned arrogantly and licked my lips, "...my dick."

Her mouth formed into an 'O', and she sat there for a moment, looking stunned. I studied her expression, trying to figure out if she'd be okay with me doing that. Waited for her to say _'pineapple'_, if she wasn't. Eventually, she just shrugged and took a sip of her ice water, "Well, if you can handle doing it yourself, then go for ahead. Don't let me stop you." Her voice was adoring, and almost competitive. As if she dared me to be able to handle myself without her...

_The nerve_.

I sighed and dipped lower, resting my head against the basin. She was right. I wouldn't be able to finish without her... especially having her sit right fucking across from me, naked and surrounded by wetness... I'm sure a little bit of it forming between her thighs, begging me to come and feel it-

_Stop it, Cullen._

_Fuck._

I cleared my throat and closed my eyes, absorbing the African vibe of _Ali Farka Toure's, 'Ai Du'. _There was something about blues rock... very little lyrics... and a lot of slow grind that made you want to have sex. _As if I didn't want to have sex anyway_. I always want it. I'd had it in some form more times during this vacation than the past two weeks... and I still wanted more.

With my eyes closed, flashes of her legs wrapped around my head, of me holding her upside down, of her straddling my face, then her later on the bed, spread out before me, coming on my fingers... it all hit me hard, and I _had _to put my hands on myself to alleviate some pressure. I couldn't help it. It wasn't a matter of playing anymore. I _needed _relief.

I stroked slowly, firm at the base, pulling up, rubbing my thumb across the tip, then back down. I knew she knew what I was doing. I knew it before I even opened my eyes and found hers. And she was panting, her lips still parted, her eyes lusted over. She was driving me insane, just looking at me. All her eyes said to me was _come fuck me, come fuck me Edward_. Begging me. Driving me on. Of course, I wanted her to help me. I wanted my hands to be hers. I mean, she was so close . But should I ask her? Would she be willing, or would she still be stubborn?

I tried to will her with my eyes. _Please come help me baby._

She shuddered, as if she got my message. I stopped my hand movements, ignoring the throbbing ache, and looked at her blankly. She bit her lip, looking back at me. We sat there, for what seemed like hours. It could have been minutes, but it felt like forever. All the while, I grew emptier.

"Bella," I whispered, feeling that drawn notion all over again. The electricity. The wave.

"Yes, Edward?" Her voice was light as well.

"I don't want to be on opposite sides of the tub anymore," I frowned. "I need you."

"You do?"

"Yeah," I nodded solemnly. "You're right in front of me, but I'm not touching you..." I shook my head, sighing. "...and if I'm not holding you, then I miss you. It's as simple as that."

A beautiful, gentle smile crossed her lips, and she pushed off the end of the tub, and met my open arms in the middle. I pulled her over to me, thankful she was so willing to sit in my lap, despite my straining erection that bounced against her stomach.

"Much better," I exhaled, pushing my face into her neck.

She ran her fingers through my hair, wetting it down, "I'm right here."

"I need you," I whispered again, kissing along her skin. I lifted her body up and positioned myself between her thighs, urgent for her.

Her hands found my shoulders and she squeezed and hissed, cursing under her breath as soon as I started to push inside, "Wait, wait, wait, wait..... p-please."

I froze, holding her up from me, "what is it, angel?"

Her lashes fluttered and she swallowed hard and shook her head, "it's nothing. Go ahead."

"Are you su-"

"Yes."

I kissed along her neck and jaw, and placed her back above me.

Once again, she tensed as soon as I touched her entrance, and this time, she whispered, "_ouch_."

"Are you okay?"

She shook her head, frowning, "I'm so s-sore."

_Mother... fuck. Duh, Edward. Relentless pounding, of course she's going to be sore. You just tore it up this morning in the bedroom, idiot. _

I sat her on my knees and clutched her face, "Bella, I am so sorry, I wasn't thinking, and I-"

"No, Edward, it's not you, I _want _to, trust me, but-"

"Bella we don't have to-"

"No, I want to, I just... I need a break, I think. Just for tonight..."

I watched as she frowned, hurt by her own words, and worried that she upset me by speaking them out loud, "Okay. It's fine baby, we can take a break. I'm not upset at all."

She offered to give me an orgasm with her hands, but I couldn't do it. Instinct told me to take care of her. What was I supposed to do, kiss it and make it feel better? Yes, okay, I wanted to, but knew I shouldn't. _A break meant a break, Cullen._

I swallowed and held her tight, willing my erection to go away. After I stopped breathing in her delicious scent, ignored how perfect her body looked and felt against mine, imagined how fucking good and warm and slick she tasted on my tongue, and pushed away all flashbacks of having sex with her out of my mind... I finally succeeded. Then I took care of her. Washed her hair and the rest of her body, making sure to be gentle with certain areas. Massaged her shoulders, neck, ribs, hips, thighs, feet... anywhere that wasn't sexual. Even the tips of each finger and toe. I applied gentle kisses on her collar bone, shoulder blades, ear lobes...

Once the water started to get cold and we were all clean, I pulled her out of the tub and wrapped a warm towel around her. Gave her some Tylenol. We spent the rest of the evening in bed, munching on snacks, laughing about moments we shared in high school and at the cabin, talking about the baby, and eventually, falling asleep holding hands.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I woke up to find Bella staring at me, running tiny circles on the inside of my palm

"Mornin'," I mumbled groggily into the covers.

"Hey you," she whispered, the minty smell of toothpaste hitting me. "Sleep well?"

I shrugged dismally, "how long have you been up?"

"About an hour."

"Are you feeling better?"

She smiled, "much, thank you for taking care of me last night."

"Welcome."

She giggled at my lack of words, then laughed again when my yawn lasted about a minute. I couldn't help it. I pushed my face into the pillow and rolled completely on my stomach.

"You're cranky," she decided.

"No."

"Yes. I can tell."

"Hush it," I grumbled, turning away from her. _Okay, so I was cranky. But oh well_. But I left my hand to her tiny circleage. I liked it.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I hadn't realized I fell back asleep until I woke up, and the sun was higher in the sky, "Jesus, what time is it?"

...No answer.

"Bella?" I rolled over, to find her spot empty.

"Bella?" I called out again, much louder.

Still no answer.

Growling in frustration, I quickly strolled into the bathroom, took a leak, brushed my teeth, and climbed in the shower.

I needed coffee. Strong coffee.

When I entered the kitchen, dressed in a pair of boxers with a towel around my neck, I found my wife, standing in front of a stove, the sounds of sizzling and popping before her, "where were you? I called for you and you didn't answer."

She jumped when I spoke and twisted around, spatula in hand, "Jesus, Edward. Scared the crap out of me. I-I... um," she cleared her throat, clutching her chest, "I went to the front desk and had to figure out how to get some more groceries, since you never told me how the food got here. I wanted to make you breakfast. I left you a note on the table."

"I didn't go in the kitchen earlier," I explained, pulling a fresh pot of coffee out and pouring myself a cup, "so I didn't see your note. Thank you for making this."

"You must not have slept well last night... You seem off."

"I needed ass," I chuckled, then froze, when I realized I said that out loud. _Fuck_.

Bella stared at me, jaw locked.

"I'm sorry Bella, I was just kidding. I swear-"

"Mmhmm."

"Baby," I sat the cup down and pulled her into my arms.

She tensed, still holding the spatula. Probably preparing to hit me with it. _Grovel, Dickward_.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I was completely fine last night, just doing what we did. Spending time with you, knowing you're mine, talking about our future... it was enough. I promise."

She scoffed, "And here I was, so excited about how we spent last night even though we didn't get to make love, and now making you double sided ham, bacon, green pepper, and nacho cheese omelettes, and you want to-"

"I said I was sorry," I gave her my pouty face, curling out my bottom lip in front of her and batting my eyelashes. "Please? Please baby? I'm really sorry. I loved taking care of you. I love you so much..."

She sighed, caving in. _Thank fucking God_, "Oh, all right. Drink your coffee and I'll let you make it up to me later."

I smirked, letting her get back to my breakfast, "Don't forget I have to finish my goal."

"You don't _have _to do anything," she objected.

"I want to. And I couldn't last night -- which was _fine _by the way, no worries, love -- so I'm going to do it tonight."

"Mmhmm, we'll see."

"No seeing about it, babe. It's a done deal."

_I hope._

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After breakfast, I moved over and sat on his lap at the kitchen table, "Edddwaarrddd," I purred, biting my lip.

He chuckled, "What do you want?"

"Um... well... since you asked... The lady at the front desk told me that there was this thing happening on the other side of the island. A lot of people are going to be there, she said a couple hundred, and they have live bands and it's an outdoor event, on a deck by the water, and... I was just wondering if you'd like to go? Maybe get out a bit? They also mentioned something about a Salsa club on an island bordering this one. They take a boat over there one day..."

"Sure, we can go."

"Really?"

"Yeah. What time does it start?"

"Around six or seven, I think, for the blues thing. The flyer she gave me is on the counter top."

He kissed my shoulder once, "Well, what do you want to do in the mean time?"

"Explore more?"

He laughed, "All right."

And we did just that: Scuba diving, to be more exact. We didn't go too far below because Edward worried about the pregnancy, but we did see the most beautiful view of sea life ever. Bright colors, weird shapes, beautiful moss, just everything... I loved it.

After lunch on the pier, we settled back into the villa around four o'clock and took a shower full of adoring hugs, make-outs, and playful banter. Proceeding that, Edward dug our cell phones out of my purse, hooked them up to the chargers, and turned them on -- the first time since we'd left the reception. Within seconds, both phones were going off, letting us know that we had a ton of missed calls and a lot more voice-mails.

We lay side by side, listening to our messages. Most of them being our nosy friends, with people like Rosalie's messages starting out with, "Hey lovebirds, I know you're on your Honeymoon, but I just had to call you and interrupt because..." while the guys (cough_Emmett_cough) started out with, "Yo fucker, take your dick out of her for two seconds and pick up your phone, _biiiish_. Just because you're on your Honeymoon doesn't mean the world stops. It's important..." I didn't even want to know what Emmett wanted, but most of the others were just wondering if we'd made it okay, if we were doing it, so on so forth.

It made me happy to know that we didn't have our cell phones on.

Edward asked me if it'd be all right if he called Emmett while I got ready to go out.

I let him know I didn't mind. It'd give me more 'me' time to focus on what I wanted to wear.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Yello."

"What's up, fucker?" I said, leaning back on the couch.

"Well, well, if it isn't the prodigal fucking golden child finally mustering up enough strength from his million and two orgasms in order to make time to call his fucking best buddy back!"

I laughed, scratching my head, "What the hell are you up to, Em?"

"Well, first of all, it's nice to know that you're fucking breathing. Thanks for calling to let someone know, dick."

"Sorry about that-"

"And second of all, why in the hell do you have your phone turned off?"

"Uh... I'm on my Honeymoon?"

"So?"

"I'm not supposed to be in contact with the outside world, I'm sup-."

"Yeah, I know, you're only supposed to be in contact with her vagina -- as if you won't get sick of it eventually. What if I fucking fell off a cliff or some shit and you didn't hear about it until a week later?"

"Emmett... there are no cliffs in Seattle."

"Well... what if I got run over by a plane or an evil dragon caught me on fire or something?"

"What the fuck did you want, Emmett? Why in the hell are you harassing me?"

"Dude. Lots of shit has gone down, in the what, three days you've been gone? _Lots _of shit."

"Like what?"

"Alice and Jasper split up."

"WHAT?!" I sat up, jaw dropped.

"Yeah. It was her idea. She's been staying over here at my house, because she doesn't want to be at ya'll's apartment without you. She's fine, it seems. I guess. I don't fucking know. But Jasper's not taking it well, he keeps fucking calling and calling and calling and shit. He told me it came out of _no where_. One moment, they were working on her issues she's apparently been having -- which you never fucking told me about, you son of a bitch, I had to hear it from Jasper -- and the next thing he knew, she said that she needed a break from everyone until she could resolve things. She said she didn't want to hold him down, and that though she knows she wants to be with him eventually and get married to him and whatever else the fuck girls have planned when they meet _'the one', _...that she cannot fully love someone else until she learns to love herself first."

I scoffed, rubbing my eyebrows, "...Wow... they seemed fine at the reception. She seemed happy."

"She didn't want to show any negativity during ya'll's wedding day. You know how much she loves you."

"Wow... I don't know what to say. Is she there with you now?"

"Her and Heather went to get some Chinese food. Oh, but wait. There's more."

"There is?"

"Yep. A lot more. She just told me that she's late. You know? _Late_."

"Late as in her period being late?"

"Yeah. She says she's on the pill and they always are protected, but her periods are always regular, and she cannot figure it out."

"It's probably the stress from the break-up."

"That's what I told her. But you never know. Oh, and guess what else I learned."

"What?"

"That I might end up having to be a boyfriend again."

"Huh?"

"Heather and I. I took the plunge, and I told her I was thinking about asking her to be my girlfriend, at the reception, after you and Bella took off. I didn't, but I want to let her know that I'm thinking about it."

"No shit."

"Yeah. It's much better this time. Like, crazy better. So far. I mean, you never know, but so far, I like the idea of being her boyfriend. Until we start fighting more and sexing less. Then, you know, I'll have to handle my shit."

I laughed, "that's good, Em."

"Yeah. I think seeing Rosalie and Jake at the wedding, and having that whole fucking run-in with them and seeing it with my own eyes... I think I needed that to straighten myself out. I mean, I want some kind of commitment too, and if Rose is gonna move on that fast and with _that _dick-head, then I should be able to, too. You know?"

"Wait. Is this just because Rose and Jake are together, or do you actually want Heather to be your girlfriend again?"

"I want her to be... I think."

"You make no sense, but whatever. If it's what you want, then I'm happy for you..."

"Yeah, but there's _another _problem."

"Oh God. I've only been gone a few fucking days! What now?"

"See, this is why you should have your damn phone on!"

I growled, stood up, headed to the kitchen, and pulled a Corona from the fridge, "Keep talking. What is it?"

"I think I kissed Alice last night."

I spit out my beer, spraying it all over the sink. Coughing, I grasped the phone, "What?! Emmett! You just fucking said you and H-"

"I _know_, I know, but she and I were here last night just drinking and playing fucking Scrabble because we were bored as fuck and you weren't here and we didn't have any money, and I'm pretty fucking sure we kissed."

"What do you mean?! How do you not _know_?"

"Uh, I was high as fuck and drunk as shit, and so was she?"

"You got Alice high?!"

"She wanted to!"

"Emmett! You fucking idiot! How could you be so irresponsible with her? You obviously know what she's fucking going through, why in the hell would you want to make it worse?"

"Hey, hey, _hey _now, weed makes everything _better_, not worse."

"What else did you guys take?"

"Noth-"

"Don't fucking lie to me, Emmett."

"Dude, I swear, we did-"

"EMMETT," I growled in warning.

He exhaled heavily. "Fine. We _may _have snorted a few Percocets I had in my medicine cabinet... they're missing."

I shook my head and flopped down in a chair by the window, seething, "_You_... are _stupid_."

"Well! You weren't here! You know how shit messes up when the three of us aren't together! We're a fucking pack, man. You, me, and Allycat, man, we're heterosexual life-mates. We're a damn tripod, you selfish idiot. One leaves us, and we fall apart. This is why you shouldn't go anywhere!"

"Well, excuse me for regaining my life back, I seem to be pretty fucking happy now that Bel-"

"Just because you have your life back doesn't mean you have to ignore your friends."

"Emmett. I wasn't _ignoring _you. I'm on my _Honeymoon_. A week without me isn't going to kill you."

"Uh... did you not just hear all the shit gone done since you left a few days ago? And this is just the shit that _I _know. That's saying something, E."

"Yeah. It says that you all need to find new hobbies."

"Not funny. How's the wifey?"

"She's great. Getting ready. She wants to go to this thing on the pier tonight, something about blues and classic rock. Should be interesting."

"Hmm. You do the shit you wanted to her yet?"

"Emmett."

"Come on, tell me. You know I live vicariously through you."

I smirked and tugged my hair again, "Not all of it, but I am enjoying myself all the same."

"You haven't hit the ass yet?? Dude. Come on, it's not that hard, just fucking tell her how bad you want it and you know that she'll cave."

"She knows."

"Tell her _more_."

"All right, Emmett, I've got to go."

"Wait, wait, I wanted to tell you something else. Check your suitcase, in that secret department on the left. I left you a present. Fucking use it."

"All right. I'll call you later. Don't fucking touch Alice again, Emmett. You're my bud and all, but she's my best fucking friend, and I swear to Christ as my witness, I _will _fuck you up if you dick with her and make shit worse. And be good to Heather, you horny bastard. If you don't want to be with her, fucking end it before she gets her hopes up that you're a decent guy. And stop playing with her emotions!"

"I can't make no promises."

"Emmett-"

"Tell Bella I say _'what's up' _and to bend over and show you that pretty little ass like the good girl she claims to be. Call me later. See ya biiissshhh!" _Click_.

I sighed and tossed my phone on the table. Somehow, I knew that this was how shit was going to be. It never failed. Oh well. This was my Honeymoon, and I going to do my best to not allow anything to spoil it.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"So where is he at right now?"

"I think he's in the living room talking with Emmett."

"He's talking to Emmett? Bella, you're letting your husband talk to Emmett? What the hell is wrong with you?! You know he's never going to shut up."

I laughed, put my sister on speaker-phone, and sat it on the sink so I could flip my head over, "We're catching up with our friends real quick so no one things we ran away."

"If I were you, I would run away."

"What about Jake?"

"He can come," she laughed. "But I'd totally run if I were you."

"How are things with you and Jake?"

"Fantastic. I wished we would have just hooked up back in High School and saved us a lot of lost time."

"Awe," I gushed, raking my fingers through my hair, "Rosalie. You're starting to sound like a gushy high school girly-girl."

"Oh shut up, Bella, Christ. You're ruining my mojo here."

"Just saying."

"Yeah well don't. I'm not a teenager, I just... I really love him. It's crazy, how all these emotions came out and just spilled over every damn thing. Every time I see him, I want to jump his bones."

"So? I want to jump Edward's bones every second."

"Yeah but you're a pregnant newlywed."

"Still. I wanted to ever since the day I met Edward."

"You were fifteen!"

"You lost your virginity at fifteen!" I objected, cold-heartedly.

"Yeah but... Shut up!" She laughed. "We're not... Anyway. I just wanted to let you know that Jake and I are doing good and we haven't killed each other yet and we're still happily together. He says _'hi' _by the way. He wanted to talk to you, but he's crashed out. I think I exhausted him."

"Oh dear God, Rose, please spare me the details."

"I am. And we all know you're getting some. Did you do the whole leather outfit thing yet? How'd he take it?"

"I did, thanks for talking me into it. He was... shocked... he fought it a little but he gave a lot too, so... I think overall, he liked it."

"Mmmm... Leather, man. Puts those boys into a frenzy, I tell ya! What else have you two done that's new?"

"I will give you all the details as soon as I get home, but I have to go before he comes in here and notices I'm taking my time getting ready."

"Oh just give me one detail!"

"Upside down sixty-nine in the kitchen. Gotta go, love ya, bye!"

"Wait, Bel-"

"Bye!" I hung up and exhaled.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

It took me a little while longer to get ready than I had originally planned. Symptoms were starting to strike me a bit... A hint of nausea and a minor headache, but quickly dissolved once I kept my mind off of it. Plus, I felt like being festive.

I put my long, dark hair in a bunch of tiny spiral curls, brushed through with my fingers to create a lot of volume. Make up was fun and flirty, light purple on the eyes and peach colored cheeks, lots of mascara.

My dress was white and silky, tight around the bust, and flowing mid-thigh. My swollen breasts made it fill perfectly. It had an Asian floral print trailing around the bottom hinge and moving up toward the waist, colors of purple, blue, orange, and a few greens. I matched it with simple purple heels, tall enough to make a statement but short enough to allow me the leverage of not breaking my neck. Blue and black wrist cuffs and my Gemini necklace, two spritzs of _'Intimately' _by _the Beckham's_ on my pulse points, and I was set.

I met Edward in the living room, and our jaw's dropped simultaneously. You'd think by now I wouldn't be so shocked when I saw him and he took my breath away, considering it was a daily occurance, but still, I was.

Dressed in a white collared shirt with a hunter green and white striped sweater vest over it, jacket, dark denim jeans, black shoes and belt, his bronzed hair perfected into a delightfulness of which I wanted to lick, his emerald eyes glowing, forcing the golden hues to flicker, five o'clock shadow, and a grin that pulled up higher on one side... _Damn_. I needed to go change my panties.

"Hey," I said timidly, still out of breath.

"Hey," he replied lightly, apparently the same way.

"You look nice," we said at the same time, and laughed.

He smirked and pulled me into his arms, kissing the top of my forehead, "I like your dress, baby. Is it new?"

"Yes. My mama got it for me."

"She has good taste," he grinned, kissing my forehead again, "...well, on you. Too bad I can't say the same thing for what she wears. I cannot believe she still owns a pair of coveralls."

I slapped him on his chest playfully, "They come in handy when you're painting a room."

"Yeah but she's not a painter."

I didn't argue. He had a point, and I hated those blue jean coveralls just as much as the next person.

"Are you all set?" I asked him, looking up and kissing his chin, for it was the only thing I could reach if I stood on my tip-toes.

"Yeah," he whispered, but he moved to his knees. I started to ask him what he was doing, and then he kissed my dress where my stomach was beneath it, and it all made sense, and I melted.

"Hey baby," he whispered, rubbing it gently with his hand. "Hanging in there?"

I smiled and ran my fingers through the back of Edward's hair, "Doing fine."

He kissed there again, mumbled, _'I love you so much...' _to it, and stood on his feet, "I hadn't given my little boy a kiss yet so I figured I'd make it up to him before we left."

"What if it's a little girl?" I teasingly argued.

He smirked and wrapped his light jacket over my arms, "...Then she gets a kiss too..."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We arrived on the other side of the island, rejoining the _'land of the living', _as Edward put it, since there were a ton of people there. All laughing, drinking, swaying to the sounds. Everyone looked like they belonged in a Salsa video, with their bright colored dresses and hats and shoes... Beautiful blues and soft rock music played by a live cover band which were sitting on a long pier, covered by two canopy's, one on each side of the circle. A mini bar lined down the right side of the peer. Tiki lights streamed down the other. There were people on the beach, on the pier, in the water... It was like a fiesta.

Edward held my hand and pulled me through the tight crowds, and when there was room for both of us to walk side by side, he placed his hand on the small of my back and guided me. We quickly said 'hello' to a few people, and made friends with a few couples who were on their Honeymoon. One couple, Jeremy and Marielle, were the sweetest, most kindest people we'd met in a long time. Jeremy was tall, maybe only a couple inches shorter than Edward, with dark brown, spiky hair, brownish green eyes that trap you into them, and full, pouty lips. Chiseled features. Marielle was a couple inches taller than me, with long, brown, wavy hair, sweet innocent blue eyes, and high cheek bones. They seemed to be opposite of each other... Him very outspoken and funny, while she was shy and reserved. They were about our age, maybe a year younger, from Connecticut. Jeremy was currently in college to be Defense Attorney, while Marielle was taking a break from school.

After conversing with them and realizing we found some kind people, we left the rest of the group they were talking with, grabbed some drinks, and decided to share a table close to the band. Edward and Jeremy immediately started talking about music, while Marielle sat beside me with a tentative smile on her face. I smiled back to her, squeezing Edward's hand on my knee, while the band played an awesome cover of _Southside Johnny's, 'Future In Your Eyes'. _

"So," she said quietly, so quiet in fact, that I had to move closer to hear her, "how long have you and Edward been together?"

"We've known each other since we were fifteen years old," I smiled, "so almost eight years. How about you and Jeremy?"

"Three years," she replied. "We met during Homecoming, Senior year. His school was a rival to mine."

"Yeah, our team kicked her school's ass," he cut in with a chuckle, taking a sip of his scotch. "It was love at first fight."

"We were very into 'team spirit' back then," she giggled. "I was a bouncy cheerleader, he was an arrogant player with war paint all over his face. How cheesy it is to think of it now."

"But back then, anything in high school was life or death," I said. "Edward was in baseball, and whenever the team lost a game, I thought the day was _never _going to end and he was never going to smile again."

"Oh yes, been there before," she sighed. "Thank God that's all over."

Edward leaned in, smelling of mints and chocolate cigars, and gave me a kiss on my cheek. He asked them what brought them out here (they Google'd the island), and the three of them fell into a soft conversation about what the island had to offer and what we've explored, and what everyone's plans are. I leaned to my right into Edward and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying the salty breeze from the ocean on my face, the different genre's of music, the smell of happiness and pure joy around us. I felt my toe tapping to the rhythm, his left hand around me and caressing my ribs, his right hand in front, thumb massaging my stomach.

Marielle and I later fell into a discussion about our weddings. Hers was a backyard wedding, with a circle of tall sequoia trees surrounding them. She said it was small, only about fifty people invited, which was what they wanted. She said their families were very opposite as well. Her dad was a judge and her mother was a teacher, while his father sold cars and his mother was a seamstress. But when I looked at them, though they were opposite in comparison, they were also very similar... Beautiful appearances, genuine smiles, the look of love in their eyes when they glance at each other... It also made me feel better, knowing how I grew up more like Jeremy, and Edward's wealth was more like Marielle's.

They told us about how Marielle's father swore Jeremy was _'corrupting' _her, back in school. She said she went to church three times a week, her family had dinner every night, Sunday dinner outside. He was a smoker, didn't care too much about grades, as long as he made passing ones in order to play sports. They spent the last three months of school inseparable, and her family frowned upon it at first, because when they tried to object, she'd sneak out and meet him at an old, busted down drive-inn and they'd run off for the night. She'd skip school on occasion, and they even bailed on their final exam to go to Florida for the weekend, out of no where. They were lucky they had enough credits to graduate. But they didn't care, they explained, because they knew it was fate.

Jeremy laughed, shaking his head, "You wouldn't believe how happy we were to graduate and go to the same college. We didn't have to worry about sneaking around so much."

"I know the feeling," Edward sighed. "We weren't together in College, but in High School... it's very hard for us to sneak around since our parents are best friends."

"Oh man!" Jeremy shook his head, "That had to suck."

I smiled, "it did sometimes, but it's nice that it worked out the way it did. I think if we had more liberties back then, we wouldn't be enjoying each other as much as we are capable of now. Because we would have ran it all into the mud in high school, you know? Taken it for granted because we were so young and couldn't appreciate the truth of sex and everything."

"I totally understand where you're coming from," Marielle agreed. "I tell Jeremy that all the time. That I didn't get to really appreciate him like I do now, because I understand what it means to make up after a disagreement, or be sick all week and have him take care of me. Back then, it was just, 'oh he's my boyfriend and we're in school', blah blah. Now it's _real_ and it means more."

Edward brushed his fingers through my hair and leaned into my ear, whispering, "Pssst."

I leaned into him and smiled, "Yes?"

"I love you," he said sweetly. It made me giddy. _ I'm a chum._

I bit my lip and twisted toward him, caressing his face, "are you okay?"

"Mmhmm," he nuzzled along my jaw, "Are you?"

"Yeah... I'm wonderful," I smiled.

"So are there any plans for babies?" Marielle asked us. "I know you probably get that question a million times now that you're married, just like we do, but... I am curious. You two seem to really blend well together."

"Actually," Edward moved his chair closer to me and draped his arm tighter around me, "we're expecting now."

"Really?" her eyes lit up like a Christmas tree, while Jeremy gave Edward a congratulatory handshake.

"Yes, Bella is almost 15 weeks long."

"Wow! Oh my gosh, you guys, that's awesome! When it's time, do you want to find out the sex?"

I looked at Edward, and he smiled and shrugged his shoulders, replying, "We didn't at first... but lately, I've been ancy in wonder. As the 20th week inches closer, I find it harder to wait."

"Really?" I said. "You didn't tell me that."

"Well baby, it's kind of obvious that I want to know," he laughed softly. "I mean, if it's a girl, then I should really stop calling her _'my little man'... _and if it _is _my little man in there, then I want to know that way I can make better plans... like we can discuss easier options for the nursery and everything else."

"I thought we were going to do neutral colors for the nursery, that way when the next baby comes, we can keep it and re-use it without having to do too much reintivation..."

"So the twentieth week is when you'll be able to have the option of finding out?" Jeremy asked.

"Yes," Edward turned his attention toward him, but squeezed my right knee, "we can find it earlier, all the way to the twelfth week with the type of investments we've made at the hospital, but it's easier to make a false judgment, so we'd rather just wait."

"Are you a doctor?"

Edward quickly explained to them what he did for a living, receiving more compliments in handfuls. I watched him smile proudly as he discussed graduated from college with honors, passed certain tests with abbreviations meaning long names I couldn't even repeat, and how that led him to go through medical school while he was granted the ability to work under Doctor Sherber at the Seattle hospital, and how not only could he do medical school, but if he stayed on top of his game, how he could be allowed to complete his internship in a single year, instead of the standard two-three years... so on, so forth. Then I asked them if they had any plans to conceive. Marielle explained they have been having some conception problems, her the problems with her fertility balance. That led into another brief conversation of Edward explaining to them their options about what they could do, based on how much money and the type of insurance, etc, etc... I spent the time running my fingers through his hair on occasion and rubbing his back. It wasn't that I wasn't interested in the conversation, but it pained me to think of all the women out there who struggled for years to have a baby, when Edward and I seemed to have it easier... It made me sad and I didn't want to be sad on my Honeymoon, as selfish as that may sound.

It took over an hour before Edward would finish his scotch. I knew it still bothered him to drink when I couldn't, but it truly didn't bother me at all. It's not that I wouldn't love to sip on a Martini, but with the baby on board, I just didn't think about it as much. I wanted to protect, I all ready felt that instinct. But there should be no reason whatsoever for Edward to not enjoy himself. I had to beg him to order the damn drink in the first place.

He leaned in and kissed my temple, before excusing himself for a smoke break. Jeremy followed him, while Marielle stuck back with me. I didn't mind. She was a sweet girl.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"So earlier," Jeremy said as we walked toward the water, cigarettes in hands, "one of you mentioned that you and Bella weren't together in College, but that you had known each other since you were fifteen..."

I smirked and lit mine, "Yeah," inhaled slowly and blew out the smoke, "we met young and became swept up easily, got too involved, and couldn't really handle the pressures of an adult relationship when we weren't _adults _yet, you know? It was hard and I'm sugar-coating this right now, but in a nut shell, we were together for three years, off for almost four, and then reunited in January."

He grinned at me, "it just goes to show you that it doesn't matter where you're at in your life. You can't fuck with love, man. It'll come back and get you, regardless of if you're ready or not."

I smiled at him, "Very true. I guess love has a final destination, just as death does. You cannot run from it, because if it's your time, it's your time."

He agreed, "So you're wanting a boy?"

"Yeah," I kicked the sand around, "I do... I find myself wanting a boy more and more each day. I won't be disappointed if it's a girl, don't get me wrong, but... I just... I don't know. I'm pretty good at reading people, and I've studied up on pregnancies for my career, the little signs and symptoms a woman can have, depending on the sex... None of it's a scientific confirmation or anything, but I've found it true in a lot of cases I've assisted with my boss, Aubrey Sherber. And..." I chuckled, looking toward the setting sun, "I just really think she's having a boy."

"I don't know how you do it, man. I mean, Marielle and I have been having conception problems and it sucks, but at the same time, I mean, I don't know if I could handle it. Some people just... aren't ready. Aren't you freaking out?"

"Every once in a while, things might hit me, like bills and plans and everything we must get done with the time crunch. And yeah, it's an adjustment, and we didn't have time to really plan because the pregnancy wasn't necessarily planned... And I agree, we are young. My buddy Emmett, he's a good guy and I love him, but he's the typical, just graduated, mid-twenties guy. Doesn't get too involved in relationships, loves to have fun, loves to make trouble and chase girls and drink beer and party... I mean, he's responsible when it comes to taking care of himself and paying his own way, but he's still a guy, you know? He's not ready to grow up, and he shouldn't have to until he wants."

"But then I have a cousin, his name is Dean, and he's the same age as Emmett, but he's more mature. He's not necessarily ready to get married, but he is starting to get over those party days, and he focuses more on future plans... Then you have someone like me, who didn't care if I was partying and didn't care when I was calm. I was okay either way... but when Bella came back into my life, I just _knew _that if I could get her to wake the hell up and get away from the guy that she was seeing, that we had unresolved business that we needed to handle."

"I knew she and I were going to back together, or at least I _prayed _we did, but there were some hard fucking struggles to get through first. And it was a bitch at times, and she was a pain in my ass, and I was a dick back to her, and it was trying times for us... But once we really talked and became friends first, we realized more and more how important that the other was, how much we missed out on while we were being stupid and was apart, and then it became that whirl-wind romance all over again. Completely consumed and swept up, and there's no fucking way we're ever going to be able to pull ourselves away from each other again... But I've come to accept that it's just how she and I are. It's a meant to be thing, as cheesy as it may sound to others, but it is, and there's no sense in trying to fight it anymore. We've both just caved and accepted it, and to tell you the truth, it's working out pretty damn good this way. I'm completely satisfied drowning in her. I wouldn't pass up a love like this for anything."

"But how do you feel about being a father? Despite your connection with your wife, it's still... unknown territory for you."

"I get nervous and I panic, but all I can do is take it one step at a time. I know it's not going to be easy, and she and I are going to have different opinions when it comes to raising the baby, and we're going to clash, and we're going to have to sacrifice some of 'our' time, but... I honestly look forward to it. This baby wasn't planned, but I couldn't be more happy with the surprise. It's another example of my love for her, and her love for me, and we can see that and witness it every day in an actual physical form with this baby... Show what we, as a couple, accomplished. And I get excited about the little important things, like the first word, first walk, first everything. She's more worried than I am, but that's because I have more experience with children than she does... But Bella, she has an amazing heart. All she wants to do is give to others, and I know that she's going to _conquer _being a mom. And when she needs help, I'll be there."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I found Bella where she was when I left, laughing with Marielle, watching with wide eyes as people danced around her to the gentle music, currently _'Be My Lady'. _She seemed so happy, and I definitely sensed a glow around her. I liked it. A lot.

I snuck up behind her, bent over, growled playfully, and nibbled at her left earlobe.

She jumped with a gasp, then giggled, covering her chest, "Edward Anthony Cullen, you scared me! I thought you were some random guy or something!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, kissing along the side of her face tenderly, "I missed you."

"You're forgiven," she smiled. "Do you want to dance with me?"

"I was coming over here to ask you."

She quickly jumped up and took my hand, her eyes flickering and sparkling. I laughed as we pushed through the tight crowd, and found a spot toward the end of the pier, where spits of the sea water splashed up occasionally. It would be perfect for us, as long as she didn't slip. I'd have to keep a tight hold on her, knowing those damn heels and her track record.

She put her right hand on my shoulder, and her left hand in my right. I pulled her closer to me, as close as possible, and pressed my nose to her forehead. We danced into a gentle sway, the beautiful sounds of soft jazz, mellow drums, and a raspy voice creating a romantic mood. I could never get enough of her scent, strawberries and cinnamon. I had it memorized, but it wasn't the same as when you could put your nose in her hair and absorb in it. It was like a drug. I felt her fingertips on my shirt, squeezing the fabric, craving more attention. She pressed her face into my shirt and kissed there. My left hand, which was obeying itself on the small of her back, decided to venture south just a few inches, above the curve of her ass.

After the second verse, when the chorus picked back up, I put her left hand on my other shoulder so that I could cup her face, and felt her smile into the palm of my hand. I bent down and turned my face in, lingering my lips on her cheek. Her fingertips squeezed my shoulders again and she pushed her pelvis into me, her lashes fluttering, her breath calming. "I love you so much," I whispered into her ivory skin. She slid her teeth across her bottom lip and turned to where my lips were still lingering on her face, and met my mouth with her own. I pushed into her, wrapped my arms around her tight, and felt her stand on her tip-toes to get to me easier. And there went that damn flutter feeling in my chest, the completion in my heart, the vibrating taste on my lips from hers... She parted her mouth, and I swept the tip of my tongue in, connecting to hers briefly. It was a romantic kiss, slow and lingering for what seemed like an eternity. I kept us swaying but put most of my focus on her mouth. Her fingertips ran through my hair as we turned out faces to opposite sides. She tasted like the most sweetest, ripest, juiciest fruit, and I could never get enough. I'll always starve for more of her. Crave her. Want her. Need her.

When the song ended, she pulled away from my lips, and gave me a firm hug. She was adorable. I melted back into her body, loving the way we blended into each other. Lifting her feet a few inches from the ground, I moved us in a slow circle. It took every ounce of strength in me not to push us onto this wooden pier and make love to her in front of all of these people. The more and more time I spent with her, the more I realized that making love was a form of expression in which the words I wanted to say weren't needed. I'd make love to her any hour of the day if she'd let me.

...I'm just not sure about how all the other people around us would take it. Which is why I refrained.

Bella hummed against my Adam's apple, and my hands found themselves back to her hips, "Baby?"

"Mmm?" I smiled. This was probably the third time she's called me _'baby' _this week... and she'd never called me that before... I liked it.

She pulled back, kept her hands behind my neck, and studied my eyes, "I think I want to find out the sex of the baby too."

"Really?" I asked, pulling her closer to me, "Bella, you don't have to just because I mentioned it. I can wait."

"No, no, I think... I really want to know."

"Why?"

"Because..." she shrugged, thinking internally, "I just do. I want to know if you're going to get your wish or not."

"Oh, Bella," I sighed, bending down to look at her directly. I cupped her stunning face in my hands and pressed my forehead to hers, my eyes zoned into her caramel's, "listen to me sweetheart. _You _are my wish. All right? I mean it. This baby... it's a gift. But _you _are what I want the most. Everything else is a bonus."

"I know that you say that, but... if we found out it was a girl, I know you'd love her all the same, but I really, really want you to be thril-"

"Bella, please hear what I'm saying. I promise, either way, I'm going to be _ecstatic_. We're having a family! You and I, we're here, we're married, and we're starting our _lives_... RIGHT NOW, this is _us_, the first set of memories from _our _life, as Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, and I don't _ever _want you to think that I'd prefer one to another, and might be upset if I didn't get exactly what I asked for. Because I _did _get what I asked for. I got _us_."

She exhaled, and caressed my lips with her thumbs, "you promise you'll be okay with a girl or a boy?"

"I cross my heart."

"Okay," she smiled, "but I still want us to go ahead and find out."

"Really?"

"Mmhmm," she gave me a nod, "I mean, the second and third or however many others, they can be surprises... but this one, I want to know. It's been killing me, and I really don't think I can wait even if I wanted to."

"If that's what you really want, Bella, then we can find out."

"I do."

I smiled against her cheek and then whispered in her ear, "That means... in about four weeks, another big change will happen for us."

She smiled and turned in to kiss me, "Four _weeks_?"

"Mmhmm. One month."

"Oh, I just got that excited-nervous feeling."

I grinned as the band's version of _Stevie Ray Vaughan's, 'Pride And Joy'_ started, and spun her in a small circle, giving her a surprise, "Well then you better dance that feeling off with me. Or we'll never make it through this month!"

She laughed, intense excitement filled her eyes, and she met my hands, and started swaying her hips. I twisted her into me and spun her back out. She easily fell into my lead, allowing me to move her across the dance floor at my leisure. Her entire face reminded me of a small child: extremely excited. Obviously never heard the song before, which meant I had a thing to teach her. No one should live and die without knowing of Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix, BB King, Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters, Buddy Guy, Nina Simone, Joe Cocker, Etta James... Hell, even Eric Clapton. This was a damn rule.

Thanks to my mother, Esme, this type of song and dance had been branded into me from a very young age. My mother loved to dance, and therefor, taught me what she knew. She once told me, _'A man in love won't be afraid to lead a beautiful woman'_. She had a point. I wasn't afraid.

I twisted our arms and dipped her back behind me, then brought her under my other arm, and spun her around, never losing a step. Bella laughed as we began to clear a space, the people around us watching us move. I was quick with my steps, just making sure to connect her hand and move her along with me. When she spun back into me, she pressed her back against my chest and rolled her hips, all the way down to the floor and all the way back up, her ass making delicious teases against my crotch. I laughed, moving her away before _I _got carried away. She winked at me, allowing me to move us in the opposite direction. I loved how much trust she put in me. She swayed her hips, flipped her hair, shook her breasts, did everything in her power to fucking knock me off my whim... and it almost worked a few times.

I caught a brief glance of our new friends Jeremy and Marielle clapping and cheering us on. Bella moved behind me, her hands on my back, and rubbed up against me, before spinning around. She walked away, then folded right back into me. I took a chance, and by the time she moved in front, I fixed my arms, and flipped her in a circle on my right side. She burst into a fit of laughter when I put her back to her feet, and I lifted her and spun her in a circle, kissing her cheek. Then she was right back to seductive, grinding her hips and running her fingers through my hair. I allowed it this time, giving a nod to a couple single men to my left. _Yeah, I see you staring at my wife's ass. Back. The. Fuck. Off._

Bella bit her lip and moved in front of me, her shoulders rocking, her eyes locked on mine. I kissed the tip of her nose and my hands found her ass they seemed to be so fond of, and we kept moving our hips in synch. If we were horizontal, there'd be no doubt in my mind that this was easy access. Which was why I encouraged it. Besides, she didn't seem to mind one bit. At the end of the song, I made sure to spin her out, dip her slowly to my left, and plant a soft kiss on her exposed collar bone. Quite a few people cheered for us, and then went right back into their own dancing and conversations.

With the next song, _Jimi Hendrix, 'Little Wing', _it pulled me right back into the _'Honeymoon' _mood. Not just the romantic part, but the absolute lusting for my wife, must have her now mood. I pulled Bella into my arms and enveloped her body with mine. Made sure she was held up against me as tight as possible without losing oxygen flow, and kept my arms securely around her waist. Bent my knees and buried my face into the side of her neck while we danced slowly.

There was something that I had been dying to do with her since I found out such a thing was actually possible. I'd never mentioned it to any of my friends, not even Em or Alice. I kept it to myself, because it was one of those things I was terrified to bring up with her. And if she heard it from anyone else, I feared it'd make it worse. Bella was extremely bashful at times, and though I knew I could be smart about if if she let me, the idea of brining it up and having her freak out bothered me. Almost more than anal sex, this was something that took a lot of trust in me. She'd have to be completely, one hundred and eighty percent comfortable and in the moment. And I knew I needed to bring it up to her before we got down to business. Like back-door play, this was something that should never be brought up in a surprise instance. _But how?_

"Hey," she whispered, running her fingers at the back of my neck where my hairline met, "what are you thinking? I hear those wheels turning inside that handsome head of yours..."

"A lot of things," I smiled, pulling back to look at her, "how much I love you, for starters."

She smiled, flickers of silver in her eyes.

"And... about all of the things that I want to do to you," I continued softly. "If one day you'll only let me."

Bella hummed, swaying side to side with my body. She kept her voice just as low as mine, and never removed her eye contact, "What did you have in mind tonight?"

A shudder ran through me and I breathed in her luscious scent greedily, "Well... I was thinking about the whole _'anything and everything' _plan we never got to accomplish back in Seattle... Such a shame... And about the whole bet that I won on the plane... Not to mention a few things that I'm worried to bring up with you, because I'm not sure how you'd take it." _There. Prepare her_.

"Edward, you can say and suggest anything you want to me. You know that. Even if I seem apprehensive, I don't want you to be frightened of me!" she giggled. "I don't want any secrets hidden, any wish going unfilled..."

I smirked with a tilt of my head, and tucked her hair behind her left ear, "Bella, you may not like every single thing I want to try. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."

"Well," she smiled, "you never know until you ask me."

I bit my lip and studied her expression, trying to figure out if this was the best time to just lay it out on the table. I just didn't want to frighten her in any way.

"Please tell me?" she said breathlessly, as I moved then roughly pulled her back into me. Then she sighed, "Mmmmm," and I trembled again. _Damn this woman_.

"All right," I said, licking my lips. "Do you remember the whole _'anything_-"

"Yes."

"Okay. There's something I want to try with you, that we haven't done yet. I've never mentioned it before, but I've thought about it ever since that night I put you on top of the counter top in the kitchen at my condo, or hell, maybe even before that. Normally, I try and not talk about things and go with the flow, but this isn't one of those things I can do that about, because it takes a lot of trust in that person, and it can't be spontaneous, because then you may tense up and not-"

"Edward," she giggled, rubbing my jaw, "...you're rambling."

I sighed and took a deep breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I had a love-hate relationship for the times she made me nervous. "Bella..."

"Yes," she smiled, enjoying this way too much.

"I want to make you..." I paused and grinned, shaking my head. _Damn, damn, damn_. _Just get it out, Cullen._

"Make me..."

"Come like I do," I spit out with an exhale, preparing for the face slap.

She looked at me, furrowing her brows. _Fuck_. She had no clue. "Edward, you make me every night we do anything."

"No, Bella," I chuckled nervously, ignoring the music and people around us. I bent forward, and placed my lips to her left ear, "I want to make you _really _cum. There's this thing that I can do for you... you'll come like I do."

She shivered, gripping my shirt between us, "like... make it..."

"Mmhmm," I licked her ear. I felt her body start shaking, and knew the nerves were kicking in with her, "Baby, it's nothing to be nervous about. I _want _to do it. And I know it's the best kind of orgasm for you... Come on, please? Will you think about it?"

She nodded, swallowing hard, "Uh... That sounds awkward... Have you ever done that before?"

"Not really."

"Will it hurt the baby?"

"No," I smiled against her neck, shaking my head, "not at all. Unless there's a problem with the pregnancy -- which Dr. Sherber would have let you known about -- then we can have sex all the way up to your due date. And remember... we have that system, with the _'pineapple' _safe word, so if you're uncomfortable with it at any point, we can just say it and move on."

She ran her fingers through my hair, swaying with me to the sexy music, "all right... We can try."

I kissed her neck, "yes. Thank you, Bella."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

We spent the next couple of hours dancing to the music with the crowd, kissing, laughing, and enjoying ourselves. But sex was the only thing on my mind.

To say that I was apprehensive when we arrived back to the villa would be an understatement. I'd never heard of anything he described before, and to be honest, was a little worried. Not that I'd ever tell him that, because there was a part of me that, although I was nervous, I was also curious.

The thing was, I was so tired of being the one to over-analyze and break things apart. Worry about what he'd think if me or my body or whatever the thing was reacted a certain way that I wasn't used to. Because obviously, Edward didn't care about those things. He cared about _me_. About pleasing me.

So as soon as we stepped into the house, I decided with myself right then and there to drop the whole worried act. It didn't get me anywhere. And I knew it had to be tiring. I didn't like the fact that it took Edward a while to ask me something. I didn't like that he always expected me to be nervous, and to chicken out. I didn't want to chicken out. If I were being completely honest with myself, any and every possible act of sexuality, as well as physically and any other thing available to do with Edward, I wanted to do. So I needed to just stop, grow up, and accept that I was the only paranoid one in this relationship. And it was overplayed.

And it needed to stop. _Now_.

As soon as Edward walked in behind me, I twisted around and pushed my mouth into his, knocking him backward into the door. He froze for a second, then quickly realized that I was trying to cram my tongue down his throat, and he needed to cooperate with me. His left hand found my ass, his right hand went to my hair, and he pulled me and pushed himself, our faces mending and molding, our tongues colliding passionately. I swirled mine around his slowly, savoring the taste of him.

He pushed his jacket off of my arms, and I found his green and white sweater vest, shoving it up until his arms got in the way. Breaking from our kiss caused us both to whimper from the loss. His hands slipped up the back of my white dress, focusing on my lace, white, boy-cut panties. I jerked them off and pushed his arms up, yanking the shirts over his head, until all before me was a firm, muscular, tan chest. His hands when right back where they were, and when I dipped my head to kiss his chest, he decided he wasn't having any of that. He bent forward, his face blocking my way, and attacked my lips, before twisting us around, and pushing me against the door.

Nothing about what we were doing was polite. Our mothers would most certainly not approve.

I jumped and threw my legs around him, and he caught me, before my hands could find his neck. "Oh Edward," I panted against his over-heated neck. "I love you so much." He smiled and kissed me once more, pinning my head and the rest of my body. His hands moved down my torso and around, cupping my ass beneath the silk dress. I moaned and arched my back, pressing my chest into his, "Yes. Take me." He pulled his face back, his cheeks flushed, his eyes sparkling, and stilled his motions.

"What?" I asked, stroking through his hair.

He tilted his head to the left, and the corner of his mouth lifted as he studied me.

"What?" I asked again, grinding my pelvis into his hardening behind his pants.

He chuckled lightly and pressed his lips to my mouth delicately, teasingly, "Nothing love."

"Ohhh," I sighed, slipping my tongue in his mouth.

To say that I loved the way his tongue massaged against mine would be an understatement. I _lived _for it. I had kissed many men in my life, a few whom I regret and still have nightmares over, and a couple who were what at the time I'd identify as 'great', but Edward... he was _irreplaceable_. I knew his experience while we were apart only justified his reasonings for being so confident in bed. I knew that the women before -- or should I say between -- me was a lot more willing to throw caution to the wind, and allow him to do whatever he wanted with them. I couldn't even fathom what experience he gained in the past four years. I knew that's why he was a lot more willing to be open with what he wanted with me, and I was apprehensive. But I didn't want to be like that anymore. I wanted to give myself to him, in any way he desired. That's what love was about, after all. And he all ready knew how I felt.

Pulling my face back, I clutched his in my hands, and panted breathlessly, "Edward."

"Yes," he steadied my hips, stopping me from grinding against his crotch for a moment.

I looked him straight in the eyes, my notion making clear, "I want to do everything with you."

"We will," he smiled, brushing his thumb across my bottom lip, "when you're ready, we'll d-"

"No Edward," I shook my head, rounding my shoulders, "now. Starting right now. Every day, every night, something new. I want to give myself in every single way you want. I want to try everything you can think of. I don't want to hold back anymore. I don't want to be _'shy, reserved, cautioned Bella'. _I want to be everything you fantasize about, and the only way I can learn is if I just let go and let it happen. There I was, the other night, asking you to give over some of your control to me... but the truth was, I was a hypocrite. By being scared or worried about what you'll think, I've never given all of who _I _am, and that wasn't fair to you. I want to be with you, in every single way possible. And when we accomplish all of that, no matter how long it will take, I hope that we can invent _new _ways to be together. The only person that I trust myself to be this free with is you..."

I swallowed and took a deep breath, never breaking eye-contact. "I want you to teach me how to let go and allow all of this to happen. Starting now. Because I'll never truly be able to be myself unless I do that.... I want you to teach me, Edward. I want you to show me every single thing you know. I don't want you to hold back from me, and I never ever want you to be afraid to ask me to try something with you. I don't want you to worry about upsetting me because you're more experienced with me. I just... I want it all. I want to give you it all. But you have to teach me... Please? Please just... please." I sighed, blowing the air out.

_Wow. Talk about word vomit._ I never spoke so many words so fast and actually had them all make sense before.

"Are you positive, Bella?"

I sighed, "Yes, Edward. No more doubts. No more anything. I want to be free with you."

Edward smiled slowly, and tucked the hair behind my ears, "All right, Bella. We'll teach each other."

I grinned, feeling the weight of the world lift off of my chest, "thank you."

"Do you want me to go first and teach you tonight?"

I smiled in relief, and nodded, "Yes."

He kissed the tip of my nose and pulled me off of the door, "Come on... We need the bed for this."

I giggled as he carried me through the double doors, and laid me on the mattress. He didn't have time to move before I pulled him down on top of me, but was quick to make certain he didn't topple his weight on my stomach. Our make-out session was lingering and endevouring, and we seemed to pretend we were memorizing each other's every inch all over again... and then he left me breathless and aching for more, moving off of me.

"Roll over onto your stomach. Time for your first lesson."

I smiled and did as he asked. He straddled my legs and began to massage my shoulders, giving the right amount of pressure that elicited a moan from me, "Edward, that feels so good."

He smirked against the back of my neck, and began to unzip my white dress. "Bella, tell me something else you want to try. Something you've been afraid to say."

I pushed the side of my face into the pillow and closed my eyes, feeling every single fingertip on my tightened skin, "Anal play."

His fingers steadied for a moment, and I heard him smile behind me, "Really?"

"Yes... the more you talked about it, the more I've secretly thought about it... I want to see if it's worth the pain."

"With me, I'll do my absolute best to make it worth it. Hopefully, there won't be a lot. ...Tell me another."

"I want to take a night where you are in absolute control... I've fantasized about giving myself to you in however you ask. Willingly."

"Mmm," he kissed between my shoulder blades, "we can do that. Tell me another."

I sighed, shivering beneath his warm lips, "I want... you to allow me to take more control too. I want to show you that I don't always have to be shy and virginal."

"All right..." a kiss on the middle of my back, "another?"

I smiled, the feeling of his hands on my ribs turning me on more, "dirty talk. Lots and lots of dirty talk. Not necessarily names, but just telling each other how we feel and what we're making each other do."

He laughed against my skin, and kissed the small of my back, his hands kneading my butt cheeks, "...keep going baby. I love hearing you."

I felt the pulsing between my thighs quicken. "Edward, I need you."

"Soon baby..." Another kiss on the small of my back, "please keep going."

I moaned and sealed my eyes, wishing he'd push his leg up toward me and alleviate some pressure, "Shower sex. Pool sex. Tub sex."

"Mmhmm," licked where the seam of my panties touched, "What else?"

Arching my back toward his chest, I squeezed the sheets with my fingers. Every single inch of me felt like it had caught fire, "_Edward_..."

"Almost... Keep talking to me." He lifted up and pushed the dress off of my shoulders. "Tell me what you want."

I struggled to work to lift my arms so he could move it from my elbows, and then he was quick to pull it down my tiny frame. The sound of my voice was gutteral and low. Seductive and aching. "Edward, I want you so _bad_."

"Keep speaking Bella... Keep telling me what you want."

My heartbeat pounded in my throat and I swallowed thickly, trying to refocus my thoughts on any place other than my throbbing core. _Who knew the simple act of discussing desires and a body massage could be _this _erotic_?

He pulled off my heels and placed my legs gently back on the bed, "I'm all ears baby... What else? Tell me some positions."

I shivered as his hands found my lace booty shorts once more, the only object left on me, "Edward."

"_Say it_, Bella."

Trembling at the sound of his voice, I about came on the spot, "Fuck."

Now he was back to sweet and velvety, "Come on... I want to hear that sexy voice of yours."

I pushed myself toward his knee that was between my legs, trying to alleviate myself, "fuck me, Edward."

"Keep talking Bella and I will soon."

"_Now_."

He remained calm, his thumbs massaging the curvature of my ass, "This is part of the teaching, my love. Positions?"

"Every position," I panted, pushing my face into the covers, my hair sticking to the back of my neck, "doggy-style, missionary, cowgirl, sitting face to face, sixty-nine again. I want us to stand up. I want to bend over in the shower, I want you to hold me in your arms. I want to lay on the bed with my legs hanging off and have you kneel on the ground in front of me. I want-"

His lips found my ear and I jumped, unaware he was that close, "do you want to sit on my face again, Bella? Did you like that?"

"Yes," I lifted myself up toward his crotch, but his hands found me and he pushed me back into the mattress, forcing a growl from my throat, "Edward, you're _killing _me."

He didn't remove his mouth from my right ear, but he lowered his voice into that sexy tone that could do me in so easily, "do you know that sometimes, all I have to do is rub my nose between your thighs, along those wet panties of yours, and I want to come? I fucking love the way you smell when you're turned on, baby. So sweet and pure and clean... Mmmmm," he licked my earlobe.

"_Edward_."

"You don't know what you do to me. What your _body _does to me. Has it ever occurred to you why I love going down on you so much?"

I moaned and shook my head, pressing myself against his knee again.

"It's your form... You're so fucking pink, and slick, and warm, and you taste of every single fucking thing that I love mixed into one. The shape and size of you, it's all perfect. And how you moan, and call my name, and arch your back, and tremble... Christ, Bella. I love your lips, I love to kiss you like I do your mouth. I love to suck on them, and open you up for me. Slowly. I love pushing my tongue inside of you, feeling the texture of your walls. Feeling how wet you are and how much wetter I can make you. I love circling your clit, using different techniques, feeling it throb and grow with every single movement. I love to suck you between my lips, having your thighs crash against my ears, feel you tug roughly on my hair, and I don't really use my fingers too much because all I want is you on my mouth-"

The tightening in my stomach was beyond intense. I'd never heard him talk to me so honestly, and I loved it, "Edward, I-I can't, I'm... fuck."

"And then when you come Bella," his hot breath crashed into my ear, his hands still holding me onto the mattress beneath him, his hips grinding into me, his erection between my ass cheeks, "the taste of you at that moment, when you're all soaking wet and pulling me deeper inside of you, throbbing around my tongue, _pulsing _against my face... Fuck, Bella... you have no _idea _how good it is to me."

He could hold me into the mattress all he wanted, but there was no way he could stop me from grinding against his leg, "Edward, I need you to-"

"What baby? Tell me what you want."

"Anything!" I demanded, my body throbbing to the point it hurt. "Everything. Touch me, lick me, fuck me, just do _something_!"

He moved his hands beneath me and caressed over my legs, avoiding the area I wanted him to touch the most, "Mmmm."

Deciding I'd had enough teasing, I moved my hands beneath me and found his, pushing them toward my center, "now, please."

"Stay right there." He moved his face down my back, dragging his wet, bottom lip across my skin, all the way to my panties. His fingers hooked in the sides, and I was thankful when he pulled them down my legs and deposited them somewhere on the floor. A whisk of cold air hit my thighs, and I shivered and moaned into the covers.

He hovered himself above me, his hands on my ass, and began to massage me, teasing me more, as if that helped my situation at all. Any second, and I was gone. I may not even last him entering me.

"Bella, when you were sitting on my face, did you like where I put my fingers on you?"

"Mmhmm," I panted into the mattress, flashes of his tongue inside me, his pointer on my clit, his thumb on my smaller area.

"Good. That's real good, baby, that's what I wanted."

My body felt like it was scorched in flames, "Ungh, Edward, please."

I felt him shuffling around, then his left hand found my hips and he lifted me a bit, sliding a few pillows beneath me, "stay relaxed, Bella. I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" I whined, fighting the urge to growl at him.

"You'll see. Please stay where you are."

The time he took to do or get whatever was excruciating. It could have been a minute; it felt like an eternity. I lay there, vulnerable to the world, throbbing, over-heated, my mind filled with the most sexual thoughts I'd ever had in my life, and there was nothing I could do but wait.

It was horrible.

Eventually I felt the bed move, and exhaled heavily, grateful he was back.

"Tell me what you're thinking."

"How bad I want you."

"How bad _do _you want me?" he replied, with an arrogant grin, I'm sure.

"More than ever," I admitted.

"Good."

My heart was about to burst out of my chest, "What do you mean by _'good'_?"

"Well... I've got you where I need you... right now, your body is absolutely at the mercy of me... Any touch, any kiss, any lick, any movement I make to you can and most likely _will _set you off." He trailed his fingers down my spin lightly, causing me to shiver and pant. "You wanted me to teach you how to be _'free'_, Bella? Well let me explain this first lesson: Freedom comes with a price. If you give yourself completely, you have to be willing to wait until something else takes hold of you and reels you back. Therefor, you have just as much power in vulnerability as I have in control. We are equal. That's what this is all about."

I struggled to breathe.

"How do you feel right now?"

"Achy."

"Achy but _good_, right?"

"Yes."

I listened as he opened something, and then rubbed his hands together, "This is a silicone-based warming lubricant. I'm going to massage you for a moment, because you have a _lot _of tension. All right?"

"Mmhmm," I breathed through my nose. "Please hurry. I want you so bad."

"I know you do," his breath staggered for a moment, "I want you too baby. Trust me. But I need you to relax."

"Okay," I nodded. _You can do this_. The moment his hands touched me, I couldn't help but sigh into the bed. Sure, they weren't near my pubic region, but between the way the lube warmed into my skin and slipped his hands around my neck and shoulders... "That feels so incredible, Edward."

"Good," he kissed my left shoulder. "Stay relaxed. Let me work on you."

I smiled, thinking _you can work on me as much as you want_.

For the next fifteen minutes, he massaged every single inch of me... from my neck and hairline, earlobes, behind my ears, my shoulders, my arms, my fingertips, my ribs, the sensitive area between the small of my back and my butt, my hip bones... my thighs, my butt cheeks, behind my knees, down my calves, my heels, toes, and in-step... everything but the one area I craved.

Then he rolled me over, propping the pillows beneath my butt and a couple beneath my head, and worked on my front... my neck, my jaw, my cheeks... my shoulders, my breasts, torso, ribs, stomach, belly button, and back down toward my legs and feet. And then he'd blow on me, making the lube tingle against my skin. I felt the tension just leave, as soon as he'd touch. Some areas were sensitive, but then he'd rub real fast and press into it, and it'd fade away.

Laying relaxed on the mattress, I felt like one of those cartoon characters that run and slam into the wall, getting stuck there, flattened out like a pancake. I hummed, but didn't bother moving.

"Open your eyes," he whispered.

I did as instructed, and melted as soon as mine found his. He was sitting on his knees beside me, on my right. So beautiful. Now shirtless, his belt unfastened and hanging from his pants, his copper hair looking like it had been run through a few times, his lips forming into a curve of a delicious smile... His emerald irises conveyed pure love and devotion.

He kept his voice calm and raspy, "Do you feel _'free' _right now?"

I nodded, unable to find my voice. My heart was in my throat.

Thunder rumbled outside in the midnight sky, and I shivered, my eyes jerking from his toward the window. Pink and yellow heat lightning began to flash around the entire bedroom, richocheing colors off of the walls outside, bouncing into the windows. It sped my heart beat and my desire up more.

"Look at me."

I did as he asked, and lost my breath, my lips parting. Those once bright green eyes were lusted over and blackened. _Jesus_.

"Spread your legs, baby."

Shivering and licking my lips, I again did as instructed. I felt almost hypnotized.

Grinning, he inhaled through his nose and hummed, the vibrations bouncing with the thunder outside. I watched in anticipation as he moved closer to me, lifting his right hand. Without my allowance, my eyes shut and I arched my back, moaning "Yessss," before he even touched me.

...But he didn't.

I opened my eyes, to find his hand lingering above the junction at my thighs, an amused look on his face.

I bit my lip and kept my expression as calm as possible, focused right on his face, and begged silently with my eyes.

When that didn't work, I took a deep breath, batted my lashes slowly, arched my back a bit, and whispered, "Please baby?"

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

_Do not pass out. _

_Do not pass out, do not pass out, do not pass out. _

That's all I could think about, as I stared down to my beautiful wife: Fully exposed. Vulnerable. Over-heated. Wanting. Needing. Craving. _Begging_. And then there was the flush along her naked body... The look of wonder and desire in her caramel eyes... The apex of her legs directly in front of my eye sight, bare and aching. Not to mention she just fucking called me _'Baby' _again. I _loved _that shit.

Fuck my life. It was too much. _You're in control, E. You've got this. You haven't shown your thoughts yet, so don't start now. Keep your face calm. Keep yourself relaxed. Ignore the aching in your own body. This is about her, not you. This is FOR her._

When that didn't work, and I felt myself twitching in my pants, I growled internally and shouted to myself, _Stop being a fucking pussy! Do what you want to do to her, because she's offering herself to you! Stay strong, and take control. Get your damn mind out of the gutter_. Okay, not happening... She was still naked, arms relaxed at her sides, legs open for both of our pleasure, her eyes burning right into my soul, and that _fucking _bottom lip held between her perfect white teeth...

I blew out a staggering breath and swallowed heavily. All I -- or should I say_ Cullen_ -- wanted to do was crawl between her legs and combine us. Push into her and pull her to me, feel her throbbing around me and me pulsing inside of her, until the uttermost final moment, and then fucking explode until she moaned my name and -- _Get it together you fucking bitch_.

"Edward?" she whimpered, her right hand resting gently on top of mine. I snapped back my focus and watched as she lowered my hand with hers, finally resting it above her pubic bone. Then she whispered, "Please?" again, her body trembling in anticipation. And my whole resolve both crashed _and _tightened. It would be about her. I had to make certain of it.

"Okay," I whispered, finally giving in. I hadn't even touched where she wanted me the most, and she still fucking moaned and arched her back, threw her head against the pillows. Her fingers clutched against the back of my hand, and I could tell she wanted to move it south, but she refrained. "Good girl," I smirked, massaging the top of her skin with my oiled thumb. I had to keep her calm and breathing, so she didn't start to panic about being so vulnerable to me. I didn't want her nervous ever again. I kept my voice soft, confident, and reassuring, "I love you so much. You're look so beautiful, Bella... Keep breathing... In your nose..."

She inhaled slowly, her chest rising, her lashes fluttering against her skin, her lips slightly parted... _You keep breathing too, E_. I exhaled with her. This was when all my study of the female anatomy in medical school helped me out. Continuing to massage her pubic bone with my right hand, I used my left to press slightly above it, applying a tender amount of pressure. Bella writhed against my hand and chewed her lip. _God, she was so sexy_. It took everything I had not to fucking take her right then and there. I swallowed and averted my attention back to my hands, and slowly moved my right one down, careful not to touch the two main areas, but around the sides of her. Massaged there. Then in to her thighs. There too.

"Edward," she whimpered, grabbing a hold of my right wrist, "now?"

I licked my lips and began to caress between her folds, watching how she reacted. And she loved it, finally having the ability to get some relief. I made sure to stay delicate and light at first, noticed her body trembling, paid attention to her arousal. When she was as slick as I needed, I pushed my middle and ring finger inside without any problems. I had to stifle a groan from my own lips, feeling her walls and the heated texture of her insides. It was wonderful hearing her call my name and ask for more. As if I wouldn't give it to her.

Making sure she was nice and lubricated, I brushed along her spot with my thumb while my fingers continued their movement, and pressed down on her pubic bone with my left hand. Bella arched her back again and sighed, her hands squeezing my wrists, encouraging me on. _It's now or never, Cullen_.

_Rule 1. No matter what, keep her calm and tell her what you're about to inflict on her_. Taking a breath for luck, I cleared my throat and turned my body, to where I could still work her, but hover over her at the same time. "Bella," I whispered, "you don't have to open your eyes but listen to me, all right? I'm going to do something but I will _not _hurt you. I promise. Do you trust me when I say that I won't hurt you?"

"Yes," she answered immediately.

I kissed her lips a couple times and pushed my fingers in her as far as they would go, and she moaned into my mouth, her right hand finding my hair. I licked along her bottom lip and moved out, then pushed them right back into her, creating more (much louder) moans of appreciation. "You feel so good baby," I reassured her.

"S-so do you," she replied, her chest heaving. "And you make me feel good."

_Damn straight_, I grinned. "I want to make you feel even better than this."

"Do it," she shook her head, then lifted it and kissed me once, before dropping it back onto the pillows. "I'm all yours."

Taking that as all the sacrifice I needed, I began to pull and push my hand up and down, jiggling it quick to make my two fingers curled upward and lodged in as far as they would go, faster and faster and faster and faster. Never letting up. I could feel her insides throbbing. I watched as her eyes bugged and her jaw went slack, and she could no longer speak, only struggle to breathe, the pleasure intensifying and overtaking her every thought. She was wet and moist and bothered, sweaty and sticky and perfect, and her body became my temple, and I made sure to make her _mine _all over again. I kept her legs parted, my eyes focused on her flushed face, my hand moving inside of her, my thumb brushing her clit simultaneously. I felt her g-spot ripening above my fingers, and using my left hand, I pushed down on her mound, right above it, to where my fingers on the inside would almost meet the ones on the outside. She pulsed harder. I brushed her clit. She throbbed more.

And Bella screamed out in pleasure, her eyes rolled in the back of her head. Her legs began to quiver and I had to use my body to keep them apart.

I moved harder and faster. Careful not to hurt her. Having her pleasure in mind, and that alone.

"Stay relaxed baby. _God_, you're so fucking beautiful. Bella, I wish you could see yourself, and feel what I'm feeling right now, being inside of you like this..."

"Oh my God!" she cried out, thrashing beneath me. "OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod, _OHMYFUCKINGGOD, EDWARD_!"

Lightning crashed outside the window, but it didn't phase me as much as her words did.

I wanted to tell her how hard she made me. I wanted to tell her how much I fucking loved every bit of this. But I couldn't speak myself.

I kept going, doing my best to ignore the tightening in my pants, begging for it's own release.

I listened to the sounds she was making with her mouth, the heaving in her chest, the sounds that my fingers were making inside of her... Watched a pink flush spread across her neck and jaw, her collar bones, going on... around her erect nipples and the underside of her breasts... down... down... further... around her belly button and hips... lower... toward my glistening fingers disappearing into the heated warmth I loved almost more than life itself...

_More._

Noticed how her body became hotter, rolls of beautiful sweat dipping around her... the way her hair stuck to her forehead and the right side of her cheek... How her lashes fluttered, her mouth formed and froze in that perfect 'O', the way her chest heaved, and her body tensed, and her hips rolled, and her toes curled...

_More_.

How her voice crackled and lowered in octave, becoming that sexy and seductive sound that I craved in the middle of my deepest dreams... Watched how her fingers curled into the sheets, her back arched more, her legs spread wider at their own resolve, how she muttered my name but no other words, and how _fucking _gorgeous she looked, verging on the moment of pure ecstacy...

"Edward, we have to stop!" she trembled, her hands reaching down to me.

I didn't recognize my own voice, it being so low and raspy, "No we don't."

"Y-Yes, _FUCK_! Yes, we have to because... m-my body, it's doing something and-"

"It's normal, Bella. Enjoy it." _Please enjoy it. Don't worry._

"But my blad-"

"It's not your bladder, I promise. I'll never lie to you." My heart was doing double-time. My lungs felt on the verge of collapse. Heat waves pounced off of her and onto me, creating a band of sweat on my forehead.

Bella moaned louder.

I pushed my fingers deeper, electing an arousing moan and the pulsing of her walls, "You're about to come hard, Bella."

"Oh GOD," she cried, clawing at the sheets. She couldn't form words. "E-Edward! E... Ohhhhh... Shhhhh... _Mmmm_..."

"And I can't wait until you do..." I pushed deeper and curled up, and moved my other hand back down on her pelvis bone, "Don't fight it. I want you to come for me, Bella when I say to."

"_Unnngghh_," She thrashed around, her manicured fingernails tearing into the sheet, her lips formed into a tight line, and her eyes rolled back into her head.

Keeping my other hand on her pelvic bone, I brushed along her clit with my thumb then held it down and in place, kept my fingers inside her curled and trapping her over-swollen g-spot, and held my breath, before whispering a very staggering and low, "N-_Now_."

And then she screamed louder than I ever thought possible, her back bent into a perfect upside-down 'U', her hair fell along her shoulders against the pillow, her jaw locked, her face contorted beautifully, her legs stilled, her toes curled, her entire body started shaking stronger than a clothes dryer, and then she just fucking did it... She came all over my hand, hot and perfect and gushing and squirting, just as I had wanted.

I about shot off in this moment of glory, to the point where I had to curl over and apply pressure to my pants and will it to calm down for a moment. Each time I brushed her clit, she doubled back into another orgasm, and more of her came, and I fucking got off on that shit more than anything else. "Jesus Bella," I panted, licking my dry lips. "Fuck." I shook my head, making sure I wasn't in a dream. "You are so sexy, Bella."

This was fucking perfect. _You, Cullen, are a sex rockstar._

_Fuck yes I am._

Another brush of her clit. More moaning. More steam and electricity bounced off of us. I curled the two tighter inside of her. Another wave of orgasms. By this point, I'd lost count of them. All I could think about was the pulsing heat of her walls clenching around my drenched fingers, the shudder of her thighs, the once-pink flush of her body now turning into a deep red color of passion...

I withdrew my hand, moved between her legs, and hovered myself over her body. Watched as wave after wave after wave after wave hit her and consumed her in all the ways possible. It almost made me not worry about getting off, just watching this shit unfold, her being at the mercy of me, even without me touching her now. _Almost_. But before I knew what I was doing, my pants were unfastened. I kicked them off, along with my shoes and socks, and pulled down my boxers.

Bella's body was still writhing, though not as strong, and she still had her eyes shut, moaning. I looked down to her form and about came again, watching it glisten and pulse at it's own attire, clenching and welling. I rubbed my aching form along her forms, getting myself a small tease, and then kicked myself in the ass for doing so. She was so fucking wet and so fucking perfect and that fucking pulling sensation began all over again at the slightest touch of her, and I couldn't handle that shit. The slightest touch sent her into another pulsing wave of moans.

I gripped her hips, thankful she was still propped up on the pillow, and kissed her left breast, before thrusting myself all the way inside of her. Then I fell on top of her and groaned, burying my head against her collar bone. _THIS SHIT WAS FUCKING INCREDIBLE_. Never, even in all the orgasms in the past, did this shit ever feel _this _good. She was so fucking unbelievably tight, and that throb and pulse and shudder inside her walls jerked me in deeper, almost to the point to where I didn't even need to fucking move.

She whimpered, struggling to wind her legs around me.

Rain pelted against the windows, the lightning flashing in spurts.

"Am I hurting you?" I asked breathlessly, kissing her ear and willing myself to not groan too loudly.

She shook her head quickly, dragging her nails up and down my back.

"Do you... _shit_..." I gasped, feeling her purposely clench those wonder muscles. I closed my eyes, trying to keep my focus, "Love, do you want me... _ungh_...to k-keep go-"

My voice cut off as she lifted and lowered her hips on her own terms, grinding me into her. I became breathless in no time at all. Our hearts practically pounded out of our chests and into each other's. I worked her into the mattress at a slow and struggled pace, over and over, willing myself to keep driving her into more waves of pleasure, forcing myself to not enjoy this so much that each and every noise out of me was a dismunteled grunt. I wasn't going to last long at all. And I wasn't even ashamed of it.

"E-Edward," she gasped, tugging at my hair to the point of my head hurting, yet it driving me further, "are you close?"

I nodded, her muscles around my dick gripping once more, the wetness that was there overwhelming... "...Fuck _me_."

"I'm trying," she gasped, clawing at my arms.

I couldn't help but chuckle, before burying my face into her volcanic-temperatured neck. Pushing into her harder. Hitting that wall.

"Come with me, Edward, _please_."

I shuddered as she pulled me deeper and bit down on her neck, before pushing her into the mattress and letting everything I had built up inside of me envelop into bliss. Fucking wetness and Heaven mixed in one.

Bella screamed and came again, holding me in place on top of her, those heels pushing into my ass cheeks. That heartbeat that was once threatening to burst out of my chest was now inside my throat and my ears, and I finally released her neck from my teeth, and groaned into the pillow beside her damp hair.

She kept moving, kept lifting and pushing me and sending me into over-drive.

And then, somewhere in the middle of it, I realized I had just had an orgasm without ejaculating.

Because right after I realized that, she fucking pulled me in tighter with those damn pc muscles, and I _actually _released. Hard.

"FUCK!" I cursed loud, pinning her down above me. It felt as if every liquid inside of my body had been ripped out of me in a matter of seconds, yet hours. I even arched my back, strained my neck, pushed her deeper into the covers. But I couldn't fucking help it. She just fucking made _me _have a double orgasm. _ How did I _... _God damn!_

"God damn," I collapsed back on top of her, spent out of my fucking mind, and blinked my eyes, while the after shocks kept coming. _What the hell just happened?! How did she do that shit??_

"Oh God," she swallowed hard, laying lifeless beneath me. "Oh God. Oh Edward, Oh God..."

I nodded, unable to respond. _Never better. Never better, never better, never better_.

"I can't feel my body," she panted breathlessly, her hand trembling as she raked through the back of my sweaty hair. "But it feels like it's electrocuted at the same time."

"Mmhmm," I buried my face into her neck, intoxicating myself of her strawberries and cinnamon and sweat and arousal and heat.

"I-I'm... Are _you _okay?"

I inhaled sharply, still unable to move, "Mmhmm." _Never better_. _Never better, never better, never better_.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I fell asleep.

I fucking fell asleep _inside _of her.

That's how spent I was.

And I have no idea how long for. The only way I woke up was when she shook me slightly. The storm was still rumbling outside.

I rubbed my face into her neck and hummed, completely and utterly blissed out.

Her voice was calm and sweet, "Edward will you please take a shower with me?"

"Okay," I mumbled, nuzzling in her again.

"Come on baby," she whispered, tapping my back slightly. "Let me help you up."

Groaning, it took all the strength I could muster in my arms, along with all of hers, to get me off and out of her. I rolled on my back and rubbed my face, the smell of her deliciousness on my hands, triggering me once more. "Fuck Bella," I laughed, shaking my head. I couldn't really form a sentence, so I didn't bother to finish it.

She let me lay there while she went to the bathroom and ran the shower. Then she came and got me, mumbling how the covers were _'done for'_.

"They're not," I argued, following her to the bathroom, "we'll wash them and call for more covers."

She twisted and pulled me in the glass doors and into the hot water. I cringed at first and tensed, but then I felt her mouth on the dip in my collar bone, and relaxed immediately. My hands found the back of her head and I closed my eyes, pressing my mouth against her forehead, "I fucking love you so much."

She nodded and ran her hands up my sides. We showered in a comfortable silence. Our feelings were conveyed with our actions, by washing each other's hair and bodies carefully. And an assload of passionate kissing. I felt waves of love coming on stronger than ever, because each time she'd turn away from me, I wanted her back in my arms. I missed her. In fact, I kept pulling her back to me.

"Edward," she giggled, reaching down, "I need to grab the soap. I forgot to wash my face."

"Mmm," I shook my head, "I don't want you to leave."

"I'm just bending over, I'm not going anywhere."

"Not good enough," I whispered. My voice was cracked and about shot to hell.

So was hers.

We were both hoarse and exhausted.

She quickly grabbed the damn bar and twirled back around, and hugged me tight, "I love you too."

"It's about time you responded to that," I laughed, kissing her left cheek gently. "...Ten minutes later."

"Better late than never."

I wiped her hair out of her face and kissed her nose, all playfulness aside, "thank you for tonight Bella. ...For trusting me. For being my wife. For everything."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I woke up around eleven in the morning, feeling rested, with Edward breathing behind me, his arms holding me securely across my chest, his body pressed right up against me. We didn't end our night last night until around five in the morning, so I wasn't for sure how I woke up.

We were both naked, so to say that he was _'awake' _in some areas would be an understatement. If I so much as pushed backward, we'd be having sex again.

I smiled at that thought and nuzzled against the pillow, recollections of last night and all the new experiences coming back to me. I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed at all. I felt _loved_. It took a lot of patience on his behalf, to get me where he took me. We shared our first inhibition last night, and it was remarkable.

Edward pushed his face into the back of my neck and pulled me closer to him, accidently slipping himself between my thighs. I shut my eyes and bit my lip, fighting the urge to push down onto him. _He was right _there _though_... _And why would I let it go to waste_? I couldn't. It would be unethical of me, after all.

Taking a breath, I slowly moved, feeling his tip at my entrance. _Just do it, Bella. Don't be a chicken. Think of last night_. Finding my determination, I arched my back the slightest bit, and moaned, feeling him enter. I could never have enough of him. Ever.

I felt him smile against my neck, and slowly awaken. Then he mumbled sexily, "Couldn't wait, huh?"

I shook my head, my heart pounding against his hands holding me.

In his half-sleep daze, he moved along with me, me doing willingly most of the work. It didn't matter though. The point was that we were complete again.

After a few moments, his arm beneath my body moved down, and his finger found my spot, and he applied the most delicate pressure there. I called out his name and arched my back, begging silently for more.

"Roll onto your stomach," he whispered raspily, waking up a bit more.

I did as he asked, and he moved on top of me. His legs were straddling mine, while mine was straight. Yet somehow, he was still inside of me, moving along that front wall that created all those wonderful feelings in me last night, thanks to his skilled, musical fingers. We both were quiet but breathing heavily, getting lost in it all over again.

I'd lift and he'd push, he'd pull and I'd move, we'd grind and we'd gasp, and moments later, we were each other's again, him coming a few minutes after me, then after he regained his strength, falling right back over to the side of my body.

"Jesus," he muttered, rolling me over and pulling me flush against him once more.

I smiled, and shut my eyes. We fell back asleep.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The next time I opened my eyes, I was on my back, and Edward was hovering over me, applying open-mouthed kisses to the side of my neck.

I smiled and ran my fingers along his skin, mumbling a question about what he was doing.

"You're like an addiction to me now," he mumbled in explanation against my skin, creating a shiver. "I want more."

I smiled, though I knew that one day, this was going to cost us. Each moment passing, we were growing more dependant on each other. It was going to suck, going back to 'real life' in a couple of days.

Edward moved above me and spread my legs, not bothering to cover us back up with the fresh white sheets, "Do you want more too?"

"Yes," I nodded, my fingertips finding his hips.

He entered me slowly and we both began to rock into one another, creating a steady rhythm. We didn't speak for a long while, just moving in sync and listened to our breathing.

But then when he finally spoke, it sent chills to my very core...

"I think about fucking you," he panted, holding his weight above me while he kissed down my shoulder. "when I'm eating... When I'm in the shower... When I'm shaving... Dreaming... Watching TV... At work... Reading a book... Driving my car... Having drinks when I'm with my buddies... Fucking grocery shopping or pumping gas into my car... I think about fucking you _while _I'm fucking you. I think about fucking you as soon as we stop... It doesn't matter how tired I am, or anything else... It's never enough."

I gasped and pulled myself up to him, making us both sit up, me in his lap, "I feel the same way about you. I want you all the time."

He moaned, licking my skin in front of him. "No one's ever made me feel the way that you do, Bella," he smiled into the middle of my breasts, moving my hips with his hands, "no one ever makes me feel as wanted and as needed as you do."

"I do need you," I shivered, running my fingers through his hair, meeting him thrust for thrust. "I do want you. It's a never ending cycle."

Edward grunted and pushed me harder onto him, his release getting closer, "Good. Because I have to have you."

I arched my back and moved into him, "I'll always be yours, Edward. Only yours."

And I made sure he knew who I belonged to as I rocked and released once more. Just as he did with me.

This time he fell backward with me above him, muttering how _'unhealthy it was' _that we were _'so involved with each other'. _

Then he chuckled, and shook his head, contradicting himself. "Like I give a shit. It's never going to stop. I don't want it to."

He knew I agreed with him before I even told him.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Bella, wake up."

I opened my eyes and then covered them with my hand. The damn sun was _bright_.

We'd been on the beach all day, since we drug ourselves out of bed. I never got tired of the beach. I don't think he did either.

I moved my head and found Edward laying beside me, "Yes?"

"We need to go eat. Then I'm taking you somewhere."

"Where are we going?"

"To another island. It's more crowded than this one... Lots of entertainment. Tourists. Like an uptown boardwalk of sorts... We'll make a day of it, if you want?"

I smiled and stretched out my limbs, "Okay. Sounds good."

We ate dinner at the restaurant-slash-main building. Edward fed me spinach salad, turkey with gravy, and chocolate cake for desert. The baby in my belly had to have been happy about that. After that, I stayed dressed in my two-piece bikini, blue jean cut-off shorts, and multi-colored tank, while Edward remained in his khaki cargo shorts, white wife-beater, and blue and tan checkered, button-down, open t-shirt... thing. Anyway, he looked like sex walking, and I looked like a hillbilly, but hey... we were happy.

A short boat trip, maybe thirty minutes, and I could hear the people from the crowds screaming and laughing, the amusements, the rides, everything... Being secluded on an island to coming here... it felt like we had mind warped back to a time where people truly existed. It, in a nutshell, was a clusterfuck. But still, a very beautiful, colorful, _amazing _clusterfuck. With the tiny, rickety roller-coaster, all sorts of bungee-jumping, space shoots, lots of rides on the ground, and many carnival-like attractions... It was awesome... and _crowded_.

Edward helped me off the boat, and immediately went in 'protective' mode, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his left side. He weaved us off the dock and through the crowds of screaming kids, feisty teen-agers, adults trying to get to the carnival/gambling tents, the scene of ground rides, toward the middle of the event. Then, after re-adjusting his Rayban's, he grinned down to me and asked me what I thought.

"I think..." I bit my lip, watching in amazement as two people were shot in the air in a huge ball, looking bungee thing, "this place has potential."

He grinned, knowing I was underplaying. "All better to entertain you, my dear." He allowed me to hop on his back, and we were off again. We ventured around the shops, picking up little souvenirs to take to some of our friends and families back home.

We rode a few small rides, like the hymalaya and the apples -- until the spinning ride became a bit too much for me. After that, I watched in amazement as Edward shot basket after basket, while I barely made two in, and somehow managed to hit myself in the head with one ball. Edward won me a giant dolphin there, as well as a fish that looked like nemo if he were blue, and a brown bear, through his various talents of games, such as shooting pan things, hitting balloons with darts, so on-so forth. I could barely carry all of the prizes.

Then it was ski-ball, darts, and a few other mindless, yet fun, arcade games. Not to mention those yummy elephant ears and funnel cakes.

You could never have enough of those.

Before I knew it, the sun was starting to go down, and I was on his back again. Now, we were heading toward something that looked like a sky-swing. Each step he took, I felt my stomach turn into another knot. I wasn't sure why, exactly. I knew I couldn't ride it being pregnant, and was thankful I had that as an excuse. I was bad enough on planes, with experienced pilots. Sticking me on a stupid velcro thing with two strings, making me swing back and forth down stories, over a crowd of on-lookers did not sound interesting nor appealing, no matter what shape I was in. I'd die or pee my pants, or most likely both, simultaneously.

He sat me down and exhaled, looking up.

"Edward... you are kidding. You are _not _going on that sky-swing, are you? You could seriously get hurt. It... doesn't look that sturdy."

"No, Bella, I'm not going on the sky-swing."

I blew out a gust of wind I hadn't realized I'd been holding, "That's good. You had me wor-"

He cut me off, "I am, however, going on that."

"What?"

He nudged his head forward, "Look past it."

I stood on my tip-toes, over the onlooking crowd, and found the target of Edward's desire, high in the damn sky, with blinking lights. A man, probably about two hundred and fifty pounds, give or take a few steroids, jumped and screamed like a little baby, with a string wrapped around his ankles. He had to be tumbling down _stories_, not just feet.

I went into hyperventilation, "Bungee jump!? Edward, you're kidding, right? _Please _tell me that you are kidding me."

"I'm not," he chuckled. "I've always wanted to do it."

"No," I shook my head, tugging him back into me by his shirt, as if he was actually going to jump right now, "no, no, no. I don't like that idea. I didn't sign up for this."

That got him laughing harder, as he twisted and bent down to my level, his hands bracing the sides of my arms, "Bella, you're not signing up for this. I am."

"Yes, _you _signing up for the jump means _I _sign up for heart failure or premature labor!"

"Don't be dramatic. It's going to be fine."

"No it isn't, that looks scary as hell! It's almost night time! What if they don't hook it up right?"

"Emmett's done it."

"Emmett is an imbecile!"

"Bella." He looked at me like a disapproving father.

"Edward," I hissed back. "I'm not crazy for not liking this idea! Okay? I'm not. I don't want to raise this baby by myself, and that looks scary as fuck. A man over there on steroids just _pissed _his pants. And that cord didn't look sturdy at all! Why on earth would you think I'd be up for allowing this?"

He started to speak, but I cut him off.

"Look! It's not even over water! There's a little mat down there. That's not safe at all!"

"B-"

"And that's a little rickety crane, taking you up _that fucking high_, in the dark, with what? Two, maybe three little men up there who don't have much of a life or family to worry about if _they _die? You're putting your life in the hands of _them_?! No."

"Bel-"

"No. No, no, no, no."

He exhaled and pulled me into his chest, "Calm down, Bella. Please don't be upset."

I didn't even know I was shaking until he stilled me. _How could he be so calm about this? _

I grabbed his hand and made him follow me toward the guy on the ground, taking the money for this catastrophe of an occurance, "Excuse me? How many stories up is that?"

He smirked and looked from me to Edward, then back to me again, "It's a hundred and eighty meters, or six hundred feet, or a tenth of a mile, or the equivalent to fifty-two stories high."

I wanted to growl. Or hurl. "And what type of safety precautions do you take to re-assure the wives of the stupid men who attempt this idiotic stunt?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "You've got a firecracker on your hands, eh sport?"

Edward smirked, "Always."

The carnie brought his attention back to me, "Jumper wears a safety harness, elastic rope is calculated and checked daily, as well as the ankle straps. Crane has to be signed for as cleared regulations. Most cranes are built to throw cars around, so no worries about the weight limits. ...And worrisome wives have to hold their breaths and not pass out while _said-husbands_ _ENJOY _this this _idiotic stunt_."

Edward jerked me away from the smartass as I shot him death-glances, _stupid dumbass man and his remarks_.

"Baby... listen. I've always wanted to do this. Always. I want to be able to let go and feel the wind-"

I scoffed, "Not to mention back injuries, dislocations, sprains, rope burn, broken bones, whiplash-"

"And feel the wind, _as I was saying_, run through my veins... Feel that sense of freedom and then snap back into reality-"

"Or a plunging death while shitting yourself."

He sighed with a frown, rubbing my arms, "...I _really _want to do this. ...But I won't do it if you ask me not to. You're most important. Not a thrill."

_Fuck._

He was giving me that sacrificial look he sometimes does when he wants something but knows I'm against it. Damn him and his pretty eyes all to hell.

"_Edward_," I groaned. "This is _really _serious."

"I know. Tell me not to, and I won't. No questions asked. We'll walk away, and go enjoy ourselves somewhere else, and I can be fine with that."

_Yeah. Right._ I hissed and walked away from him, clutching my forehead, "Just let me think for a moment. Alone."

The next ten minutes was spent with me by the beach, fifteen feet away from him, internally bashing my brains on _why _I was even considering this, instead of out-right saying NO.

_Because you love him_.

He could get hurt! _ Because he's always wanted to do this_.

He could _seriously _be injured. _Because he looked like a child at his very first candy store, and you're going to be the evil mother ripping the Snicker's bar out of his hands. _

He could fucking DIE!_ ...Because you love him, Bella. For all he is. Even during his stupid, idiotic, braindead moments like this one_.

I growled into my hands and stomped my feet a couple times. I really didn't want this to happen. I really, really, really was against this. But if I said no, he could resent me. If not outspokenly, he'd still be upset internally, and I loathed upsetting Edward just as much as he loathed hurting me.

I _had _to let him do it.

...Fuck me all to hell.

I cleared my throat and walked over to him, my hands in my pockets, not even attempting to smile. He looked back down to me, no sign of emotion or expectation in his expression. Shit. He was waiting for me to say no. I knew it. He was waiting for me to put my foot down, and be the baby I always was.

"Okay," I whispered, closing my eyes, ignoring my shaking body. "If this is what you really want to do... then okay."

He sighed, "Bella, you don-"

"You have to do it, Edward." I opened my eyes back up and found his dazzling ones, "So... go. Do it."

He tilted his head, making sure I was okay with this. _Don't start crying, don't start crying, don't start crying_. "Bella, are you sure?"

I pulled up all my strength in my voice, and looked him dead in the eyes, "Yes."

He stepped closer to me, that electric current swarming around, "And... you'll still love me after I do it? You won't be mad?"

_Please don't cry, please don't cry. Don't show fear_. "I'll always love you, Edward, don't be ridiculous. But you want to do this, so go." _Go before I chicken out and have a coronary and beg someone to hand-cuff you to me so you have to stay on the ground_.

He pulled me into his chest, hugged me tight, and kissed the top of my head numerous times, "Thank you Bella. Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I chuckled, despite myself, "Yeah, well, remember this moment of excitement when you're pissing your pants and humiliating yourself on the way down."

He cradled my face and kissed my lips a thousand times, talking between each set of kisses, "I love you... so much... you're the best wife... I could ever fucking have... and I swear... I'm going to make it up to you... I promise. Thank you so, so much... I just really... thank you... I fucking love you, Bella."

I pushed him away, toward the smartass carnie guy, "Go! _Now_."

"Thank you," he said on repeat, fulfillment in his eyes, as he walked backward, until his voice became muffled into the growing crowd. I bit my fingernails, watching him pay the man, then get escorted into the small building to sign papers.

And for some reason, overly-dramatic as it sounds, sad songs about letting someone be free started playing in my mind, and I finally let my damn tears fall, while the panic set in.

_If something happens to him, you're dead too Bella_.

Yeah. No shit.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

After handing over my valuables from my pockets, getting weighted and measured, and signing my life away, they strapped me in a harness and sent me on my way.

I took a deep breath as I mounted the crane, a few of the workers behind me. All men but one woman aboard. Blonde hair. Tall. She was close to my age, I guessed. She had to be. Why on earth she'd choose a job like this was beyond me. All the women I knew, Bella included, felt safer with jobs on the ground, or at least inside something with a floor and a ceiling.

She caught me looking at her briefly and smiled. I smiled back and then looked toward the scenery as the crain lifted up. While we were climbing, the crew lectured me on the procedures of what was about to happen, if anything was to fail, about how when they tell me to jump, to actually do it, or I may chicken out, so on and so forth. About fifteen stories up, the girl approached me, while they examined and then re-examined all the equipment. She was not even worried about hanging onto a rail, "What is your name?"

"Edward."

"Well, Edward, is this your first time?"

"Yes."

"Okay. It's going to be fun. Let me give you a few pointers... If you have any gum, spit it out. If you don't want people to see your middle, tuck in your shirt... After you jump, you'll hang for a few moments while we lower you down onto the mat..." She kept giving me helpful hints, and was very kind about it, but there became a certain point where my eyes focused on the spot that was my wife, my future.

I could barely make her out as we moved higher, but I knew she was probably biting her nails and freaking out. It was wrong of me to ask her to witness this. I knew it was. But if I didn't, and went off and did this alone, then she'd be upset with me for not telling her anyway, and then I knew she'd want to see it because she'd freak out if she didn't ... thought she'd freak out if she did -- like she is now.

It was something I felt I needed to do. I'm a guy. It's what we do. We test our limits, for no fucking reason, other than to do it and then brag about it later.

With each foot we climbed, the heartbeat grew louder in my ears, until the wind and everything around me was blocked out. I watched as the man kneeling before wrapped comfort straps, padding, and elastic bands around my ankles and tugged on ropes. They strapped the cam-helmet to me. I noticed how the the pier below me was shrinking and fading fast, and the only lights close were the blinking lights attached to the crane behind and beneath me.

Around the fortieth story up, my nerves set in a little. The wind hit the crane and we shook around, and I fought to not grab the bars. Not because I didn't want to look masculine or any of that dumb shit. This was an internal thing. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it with my balls hanging out.

When we finally got to the top, all the people below me looked like nothing but splotches of black and gray beneath the lights and setting sun. I spun around, and looked at all the workers while they gave me the last bit of pointers. I wasn't sure I was breathing, but I wasn't sure I wasn't either.

I was eerily calm. And I couldn't remember the last time it felt like everything in the entire universe was sitting still.

They asked me to walk out on the plank when I was ready, and I took a second to have for myself. The noises of the crane, the wind, everything came back into focus. The blonde smiled as the guy beside me helped me walk out on the ledge, hooked the final part to me up, and stepped back, "So, new jumper named Edward... what is the thought in your mind this very second?"

I blinked and looked them in the eye, ignoring the strong wind on my back from the half-light, half-night sky surrounding me, "Besides my entire universe and everything that matters to me, sheltered inside one body with two of the most perfect souls in it? Which is my wife and baby on the way?"

"Yes," the girl beamed.

I smirked and rounded my shoulders, building my confidence back up, trying to block out the worried thoughts from my wife that seemed to be bouncing in my brain, "_'Let us not pray to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless when facing them_...' It's a quote, from Rabindranath Tagore."

I twisted around and stood on the yellow tape marking the end of the ledge. I chose a back-dive approach for this jump. I wasn't sure why, but it was the way I'd always envisioned falling. I blew out a gust of wind and looked down through the grate metal at my feet, toward the ground fifty-two stories below me. I couldn't feel my heart pounding anymore. I'm sure my adrenaline was going like crazy, but I felt nothing at all. Just the emptiness of freedom.

She seemed charmed while the guy beside me lifted my arms out to my sides, walked back into the crane, and left me by myself.

"So... be fearless then," he said. "Jump." For some reason, I didn't think he thought I could do it. It felt like a dare. And I never back out. Ever.

"On the count of three," the guys shouted in unison. "One! ... Two! ... "

They didn't get to _three _before I opened my eyes wide and leaped backward. All at once, a million things happened, both in slow-motion, and exhilaratingly fast. The first thought out of my mind was, _is the cord even attached? _Because when you're jumping into nothingness, you don't feel that shit, just the air beneath your body, both lifting you up and pulling you down simultaneously. And hard.

My body turned from laying horizontal to vertical in a matter of seconds, and I watched the lights from the pier surrounding me, then sky, then pier again. Back and forth, back and forth. Felt the wind run through my veins, just as I had imagined. Felt the enlightenment of what fearless and freedom were all about, if just for a few moments.

_This was living._

I noticed the people edging closer, and I sort-of felt like those characters in the video game of The _Matrix_, where they jumped and froze in mid-air. It felt like the ground was never coming near me, but coming down too fast at the same time. As I got closer to the mat, I heard people screaming in excitement below me.

Then my brain snapped into focus of what was happening, and I saw the mat tumbling toward my face, faster and and faster, it was closer and closer, and I couldn't see pavement and people anymore, just the stupid white mat below me, and then... it was calm for a second.

And then I was snapped back into the air, and the whole thing started over again, except not so fast or high, and this time, I knew the cord was attached.

Once it finally settled down and I was hanging above the crowd, I took a moment to let all the adrenaline wash out of me. My body was shaking, my lips were quivering. I felt like I had the best high of my entire life in those few seconds. They lowered me slowly onto the mat and I left my legs up, so they could un-do me. Then a doctor on-sight asked me a few questions to make sure my senses were in order and I was okay.

It took a brief second to get my sea-legs back, and I felt a little sting from the grippers, but that was it. Harmless.

I started walking back, smiling at the applause of the crowd and few comments about how brave or stupid I was. I felt like a King.

Bella came rushing into my arms as soon as the gate at the end was open. All of her relief and smells and rejoice came crashing into my body, probably a little harder than she wanted, but it was okay, because I could reassure her with the strongest hug imaginable that I was okay.

She held me tighter, refusing to let me put her down, while I walked outside the gate. "You scared me," she whispered, her body shaking like a leaf. "I'm so proud of you, but you scared the shit out of me. Are you okay? Did you get hurt, are you-"

"I'm fine, Angel," I kissed the side of her face. "Everything's okay now. I'm here."

"I just love you so much," she kissed me once. "So fucking much Edward," another kiss. "And I don't ever want you to let me hold you back," a longer kiss. "But that was really fucking scary for me, so please don't make me ever let you do that again!"

I sat her to the ground and framed her face in my hands, "...I love you so much." Bent lower and lifted her tank-tops, so I could kiss her stomach, "and you too." Looked back up at her, "Thank you baby."

She brushed her fingers through my now-tangled hair while the people handed me my valuables back, "You're welcome."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Every time I closed my eyes, I could see myself falling all over again_. Ahhh the crazy things you do when you're on vacation_.

After about another hour hanging out at the pier, once my adrenaline finally dwindled down, Bella and I made our way back to the boat.

We'd arrived back at the villa around nine, and I told her to dress in something nice for dinner. She looked at me like I had grown a fungus at first, then made her way into the bathroom. She had no idea I had something up my sleeve. She should really learn by now.

I made a few phone calls, showered alongside her, then dressed in some dark denim jeans, a white collared shirt, loose tie, and a black blazer jacket.

Twenty minutes later, Bella came walking out with her long hair pulled back elegantly, twisted and resting on her right shoulder. She wore minimal eye-shadow but lots of mascara and plump lips. Silver, strappy, open toe heels. Her body looked elegant in the red dress she chose. It was spaghetti-strapped, had a V-dip around her bust, with jewels beneath the breast cups, then the rest flowing freely toward her knees.

I grinned at her and handed her a rose I found outside, before kissing her cheek, "Elegant as always."

She tucked her arm in mine and I led her outside. Immediately once we started heading in the opposite direction as we normally went, the questions began, "Edward? Where are you taking me?"

"It's a surprise."

"Ugh. You always do this."

"Welcome to a life with me, babygirl."

"One of these days, I'm going to surprise you."

I smirked, "I'm sure you will."

Bella's eyes widened once we arrived to the big boulders, reaching out into a piece of the sea. The front desk was willing to go all out for me, thanks to my Grandfather's credit card that's charged there.

They cleared a couple of the boulders, and placed a red linen table with two chairs by candlelight. Eight lanterns surrounded us in a circle, as well as a few resting on the sand around us, and up on a few of the other rocks. The water appeared to be blue in the moonlight, and had steam rolling off of it, coming up toward the rocks.

And the best part? Van Morrison and Joe Cocker lent out their voices in surround-sound, as well as Hendrix, Vaughan, and a few others we listened to last night. Currently the Morrison remake of, "_Have I Told You Lately_?"

Bella's hands met her mouth and she looked quickly from the scene, back to me, back to the scene, then to me again. "Edward," she voiced, muffled into her palms. "It's amazing."

I led her down the cleared pathway and pulled her chair out, before taking my own seat.

Her face glowed in the moonlight, and she beamed gushy smiles at me as she reached for my hand over the table, "You... are... I can't think of a word to describe you. I don't know how you keep doing this."

I laughed, pouring us some sparkling cider, "Just say thank you, and we'll call it a trade."

She shook her head, still smiling, "Thank you baby."

That caught my attention. That damn nickname. I smirked and caressed her hand with my thumb, "You're very welcome."

They prepared an excellent meal of house salads, coconut shrimp, New York strips, fresh butter rolls... cobblers and cake for dessert. We ate in a casual conversation, me explaining the rush of the jump for the eighteenth time, us discussing more baby and house plans. Laughing over stupid silly moments in between.

After we were finished, I took her up to the highest rock, and with some careful maneuvering, slow danced with her, allowing the ocean mist to spray us lightly on occasion. Bella held onto me tight and pressed her face into me, while I caressed her back and kissed her face.

We didn't speak. We didn't need to.

With each sway of our bodies, I was sent into another frenzy of emotional love.

I could never wash out the passion and praise that I hold for her.

I would never willingly fight this internal melt of my body in the middle of an aching burn.

I'd always long for her, even while I held her.

She was mine and mine alone, and I would happily consume and drown in all the tiny particles that made my angel up.

Because every second gone by was another reason to be thankful.

And every single day was another recollection and justification of a time and a place where I had lived and loved hard for someone with a purpose bigger than this entire world.

And looking back at moments like this, when it's just her and I above the sea, slow dancing and not caring about anything but each other... I'd go through all the pains and struggles again. Tenfold.

As long as it all eventually brought me back here once again. With her.

Because she was what I admired and what I aspired to be like someday, if ever possible. She was my Bella.

And I would never be able to stop loving her.

And I have _never _wanted to try.

No matter what.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I laid on my back and pulled Edward above me, moving his blazer jacket off of his shoulders.

We weren't in a hurry. We had no where else to be.

Edward kissed along my neck and shoulder gently, his warm lips creating trails of goose bumps where they moved. He moved away slowly and smiled down to me, and all the bursts of passion I felt in our relationship came crashing over me, once again. He was perfect. And I was overwhelmed with love for him.

"Close your eyes." He whispered.

I did as he asked, and he moved away from me.

"Where are you going?" I asked softly.

No answer.

I sighed and bit my lip.

"Sit up, my love, and keep your eyes closed please."

Again, I did as he asked.

I felt something wrap around my head. Silk, maybe? Wait... "Edward, are you blindfolding me?"

A chuckle, "Yes... Open your eyes. Can you see me?"

"No."

Movement around me, "Now?"

"No."

"...Good."

I reached out to him while he moved around the mattress again, and found him a couple feet away, on his knees. I wanted to ask him what the plan was, but then I felt the silk ends of something wrapped around his eyes, and it all started to make sense.

_He was fulfilling my fantasy._

I shuddered at the thought, and inched closer to him, "Can you see me?"

"No," he whispered, his hands working to find my hips.

I smiled, attempting to climb in his lap without kneeing him in the crotch, "we could get injured doing this."

"I know," he helped me sit in his lap and wrap my legs around his waist, "is it worth it?"

"Yes. With you, my answer is always yes..." I found myself whispering the last part, "...it's always worth it with you, Edward."

I felt his hands cradle my face, his sweet breath against my mouth. Then he whispered, "Usted es mi vida. Por lo tanto vivo para satisfacerle..."

Biting my lip, I sighed heavily and kissed his lips. During both our sophomore and junior years of high school, we both took Spanish. I knew exactly what that meant. _Usted es mi vida. Por lo tanto vivo para satisfacerle : You are my life. Therefore, I live to make you satisfied_.

I smelled him in every breath I took in. Tasted him on my lips. Yearned for him. All my senses were intensified. Powerful. Filling. His tongue crept into my mouth and I drew it in easily, moaning at the sensation. It amazed me, how being unable to see and knowing he was to brought us to a new level of sexual desire. It was better than my fantasy, all ready. And we'd only just begun.

Edward's hands caressed my legs, all the way up to my dress. I felt his fingertips inching, grasping the fabric in his hands while he pushed it up. I ground into him forcefully, feeling him quickly come to life. He growled in my mouth, sending a jumble of quivers up my spine. I struggled to work on the buttons of his shirt. There seemed to be double the buttons, but this was only because I couldn't see the damn things. A couple of times I thought I had it, but then I'd try to open it, and we'd get caught.

"Just rip it," he sighed into my neck, forcing me with his hands to push into him again.

I bit my lip and did as he asked, listening to the buttons fly everywhere. Each one of them hitting a window or the hard wood floors or the covers around us.

And it was like a buzzer went off. Because he just lept forward and I moved forward and we crashed into each other's lips, thankful not to bust any noses. He fell on top of me, and I realized we were at the end of the bed, and he was about to fall off. But he didn't seem to mind as he pushed into me with vigor, giving me the pleasure of friction I wanted.

"Bella," he panted as I licked down his neck and fisted his hair in handfuls, "where did you get this dress?"

"I've had it for a couple years."

"So it's not new?"

"No..-"

I listened as his hands tore open the fabric, from my knees all the way up. I'd only worn the dress once, and my mom paid a lot for it, but I wasn't going to argue about it now. This was too damn important. It took a couple times before the bust was shredded too, and then it was pushed off of my shoulders as he brought me back up to his lap.

We weren't going slow anymore.

My hands found his boxers the same time his found my thong, and I was pushing it down while he was ripping that off of me, and then we were right back at each other's mouths again, nibbling and biting and sucking the entire way. His strong hand was on the back of my neck, pushing me into his mouth with every twist and turn of our faces. It couldn't get any hotter than this.

He lifted my hips and moved me lower, to where my legs were hanging off the bed and he was leaning over me, standing. His hands were all over my body, on my breasts, my ribs, my neck, my sides, my stomach, my back, my shoulders... caressing and kneading and massaging and teasing.

I ran my fingers down the molds of his iron chest, memorizing the feeling on the pads of my fingers. He'd always felt good. But again, all of this was intensified in the moment. I grabbed his wrist and moved it lower, to the point I craved the most attention. A groan escaped his lips through his heavy breathing, and he began to play with me, teasing but not entering.

"Edward please," I cried, my hands all over him in the most passionate way. His hands found my hips once more, and he was moving. My hands slipped to his shoulders and my arms lowered, meaning he was lowering, but where was he...

All thoughts vanished when he opened my legs and started to kiss along my left inner-thigh. My fingers moved into his hair and I encouraged him to move closer, to get his mouth closer. I wasn't shy anymore. Not since yesterday. And it was never going to stop.

"What do you want, Bella?" his hot breath touched my core, and I shivered, throwing my head back.

"This," I said, pushing the back of his head closer to me.

He fought against me, and I could hear him smiling, "say it. Please love?"

I bit my lip, caressing his jaw and mouth with my fingers, imaging him looking up at me while I'm looking down at him. How beautiful his eyes were. How perfect those lips felt...

I would be fearless. I promised myself and him. And I wanted to be. So I whispered, "Edward... Taste me."

He grinned against my fingers and kissed them once, before pushing himself closer to me. As soon as his lips found my ache, a moan escaped me, and I could swear I saw stars beneath this silk black scarf. I felt him opening me up with his tongue, his lips kissing against mine. He was doing it slow and romantic and teasingly, creating more of a burn for him as time went by.

I arched my back and tugged his hair, half-wishing I could watch him, and half-thankful I didn't have to. Nor did he have to see me. Because then I didn't have to worry about a damn thing other than how magical this man was with his mouth and how thankful I was that he loved to do this as much as I loved having him do this.

He should write a book to men about how to do this the way he does it. I don't need other experiences by other men to know it'd be a best seller.

Edward hummed into me, and I gasped, while his tongue worked from the bottom all the way up, pointed and swirled the top, the flattened as it headed back down. Fast then slow, then light as a feather, then strong and consuming, then back and around and over again... I didn't bother to stifle my cries of pleasure while he was doing this. I knew how much he wanted me speaking, and he was getting it tonight. I made sure to tell him how good he felt, how sexy he was, how much I loved him... all within the times I could breathe and actually muster to think of physical words of course.. and then when his tongue entered, I couldn't speak anymore... but I'm sure he caught the gyst of how he was making me feel by all the noises he was causing from me.

I think at one point, I even told him he was a God. Out loud.

Oh well. It was true.

He had me rolling and thrashing all over this bed, my body tingling, my stomach tightening, my senses aroused... I listened to his mouth on me, listened to my breathing and his breathing and our grunts and moans and humming vibrations... Heard the mattress moving and the wind outside and the ocean in the background...

My soul was on fire in all the best ways.

"Edward," I panted, reaching out for him though he couldn't see I was doing so, "I need you. In me. Now."

He didn't bother to object and I felt him moving, his hands gliding up my body, "I need you too."

After a few missed calculations, my hand found his hardened form and I helped him guide himself to me, and pushed him inside. He went easily and groaned, lifting my hips up with his hands to meet his thrust. I threw my legs and arms around him simultaneously, and then I was up and off of the bed, and we were standing.

It probably wasn't the best idea to attempt to walk around at a time like this, but when you're making love blindfolded and caught up in lust and desire, you don't think about that shit.

But then we were on the bed again, except somehow turned around, me in his lap, him sitting with his legs hanging off. I pushed and lifted myself against him, and his mouth found my breasts and his fingers moved in my hair, and we were panting and swearing and loving every damn second of this.

"So good," he mumbled into my shoulder.

I smiled and licked my taste off of his lips, before plunging into his mouth. He groaned and fell onto the mattress, and I went with him, not parting for air. _Who needed oxygen anyway?_ Not me. Not when I had him to keep me living.

His hands helped me grind and buck onto him, pushing him as deep as he could go. I wanted more. That's all I thought about.

I needed him to keep fulfilling me.

I wanted to tell him to never stop doing it. I had to. "Don't stop," I cried while his hands teased my breasts. He cursed beneath his breath and thrust up into me, creating another cry from my lips. I pulled his hair, and then we were moving again, rolling to where he was on top. We almost fell off of the bed, but he quickly caught onto it, and steadied us right.

I was about to scream when he dislocated us. I was so close.

"Turn over. On your knees. Now."

"Fuck," I shivered, loving that commanding side of him. He crawled up behind me, until I was pressed into the headboard, my fingers grasping the edge.

"I'm going to fuck you, Bella. Hard and fast. I want you to feel it with your senses to the point to where you won't need your eyes. Say the safeword if it hurts, o-"

"Fuck the safeword," I gasped, pushing my ass into him. "I want you to. Fuck me, Edward."

"Jesus, where did you come from," he mumbled, pushing my legs apart, then sliding his form inside.

He didn't even push himself all the way in with his hands, instead opting to grab my hips and jerk me back against him. My eyes about bugged out of my head, as he obliterated every damn comprehension in my vocabulary. Over and over again, he pushed into me and slammed me back, relentlessly. I was screaming and moaning, bending over, resting my head against the headboard (bad idea if you don't want a headache), crying out his name on repeat. I listened as our skin slapped and our bodies guided. Listened to his breathing. Felt his heartbeat in my back.

"Hold on tight, Bella," he gasped, his hands over my hands, tightening my grip on the headboard.

I didn't even get to cuss, before my lower body was lifted off of the bed, and he managed to somehow hold me, thrust hard, and hit every single spot imaginable inside of me.

"EDWARD!" I yelled, grasping for anything and everything my fingers touched.

One arm came around my chest, the other hand still on my hips, and he forced me to arch my back, hitting my g-spot dead on... That wonderful spot he made alive with his fingers last night... That wonderful place I didn't believe existed except for on the pages of Cosmo magazine... And there he was, caressing it with each thrust.

His right hand found my hair and he pushed it hastily off of my shoulder, before tilting my head and pressing his lips to my neck. I listened to him breathe out of his nose as he slammed into me. "Fucking... Christ... Bella," he grunted, as I began to clench my muscles around him. "I love the way you feel, every damn time... but when you do that shit... _Unnnghhh_, shit."

"Edward please don't stop," I said, pushing myself down to him, as hard as I could.

He buckled over but quickly straightened and supported us, cursing harder.

"Touch yourself," he groaned, bending me back over the headboard. "Do it. Now."

Trusting he wasn't going to let me go, my left hand found my breast, my right dipped between my legs. For a second, my fingers found his form, ramming into me, the wetness there. He moaned when I briefly touched us, then buried his face into my back.

My fingers found my clit, and I moaned, as soon as I started feeling that familiar bubble from last night creep back up... That tingle in my bladder, though I know it was an orgasm and nothing else... He was going to fucking make me do that shit again... That powerful orgasm was coming. _While _he was inside of me.

"Oh my God," I cried, meeting his thrusts with pushes.

"Harder, Bella. Rub it harder. Like I would."

I gasped, doing as he instructed. Pushing. Rolling. Hard. Repeat.

_The sensations... _

The sensations were flaming higher than ever. The sounds of us panting and moaning, calling out each other's names. The smells of him and sweat and arousal. The taste of his kiss on my lips and sex in the air. The feeling of our bodies colliding and connecting from the inside out, the pulsing of his tip inside of me, the throbbing of my tightened walls...

He pulled my ass toward him, forcing me to arch my back, and all it took was one thrust against that magic place, and all sense of reality vanished.

I'm not sure if I screamed. I'm not sure if I cursed. I'm not sure if I moaned. The next thing I knew, I was on my elbows, and he was holding onto my hips, and I was coming, and the world was perfect. I felt him explode into me and push deeper, forcing my walls to take him in while we came together. I couldn't hear him say anything, and wasn't sure if he even spoke at all.

All my other senses failed, but the feeling was heightened. But I felt him inside of me and that was enough.

...Edward cradled me in his arms and moved us around the bed, to a comfortable laying position. He brushed my hair off of my neck and applied a few kisses to my shoulder.

But the sweetest part of that night was when he hummed me to sleep while he kept me feeling safe.

With the vibrations of his throat against my shoulder, the brush of his thumbs against my bare stomach, and the sigh from him as he rested for the night...

_'Into The Mystic'_ never sounded better.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

It was our last day. The last set of hours before we had to take that exhausting flight and re-join our busy lives in Seattle.

The last moments before the reign of responsibilities, bills, jobs, plans, moving, and everything else settled back in to being our main priority.

And as much as I love my friends and family, I was not looking forward to stepping off of that plane.

The more I thought about it, the more I hated it.

I spent my morning holding Bella as tight as possible, refusing to let her go. I felt as if I did, the rest of the world would suck her up away from me, and I wouldn't be able to fight against it. I listened as the clock in the kitchen echoed through the house, ticking slowly but surely, over and over again, wiping more seconds away from us.

As horrible as this sound, I imagined this day to be in comparison to a person's last day before their death. Knowing each second brought them closer to the unknown.

I didn't want to be in the unknown with Bella anymore. I wanted to stay here, keep her safe with me, shelter her from the world of disappointments and hardships. I wanted to close my eyes, create some magic power, and freeze time in order to protect her for as long as utterly possible. I wished we could vanish off of the edge together, and raise this baby in a world without commitments, busy street corners, and disappointing realities.

...But I couldn't.

And that thought made me feel miserable.

But I didn't want to talk to her about it and spoil today... At least we _have _today, right? I should be thankful.

Bella woke up shortly after my mental break-down, and after we brushed our teeth together and googly-eyed each other, she suggested shower sex. Like she didn't know my response... As if I would ever turn down shower sex.

She pulled me into her arms, and before I even got under the large shower head hanging directly above us, she twisted us around and pushed _me _up against the wall. She was really starting to get a hang on this whole control thing, and I was more than happy to let her.

We once again fell into an easy motion of panting and gripping, moaning and thrusting, kissing and licking, sucking and petting, and everything else in between that made the two of us blend so easily. It wasn't a routine, no, this was much better than that. It was like breathing. Necessary but easy.

Bella made me some breakfast, but I had to almost force her to eat. Apparently, this baby is going to remind us it's still around, no matter how blissed out we were. She was complaining a bit about a headache, so we took it easy for a few hours, relaxing on the couch and cuddling, with the glass doors opening, watching the ocean surf. There wouldn't be many times back in Seattle that we'd be able to just lay together, so we took the opportunity with strive, and embraced it.

After that, when she finally felt better, she met me inside with a new bikini, baby blue and fitting. I looked down to my white boardshorts, trying to figure out why the hell she was smiling so eagerly.

"What the fuck are you looking at?"

She giggled, "Those are going to be hot when you wet."

That's all the motivation I needed, before I swept her up in my arms sideways, and carried her outside to the deck. She started screaming and flailing, but she didn't get two actual words out of her mouth before I jumped in the deep end of the infinity pool with her.

She did, however, mean to push me away from her, before kicking me while she swam to the top.

I about choked on water because I was laughing before I reached the top. She tried to swim away from me, calling me every name under the sun, but I quickly wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her back into my chest. "Bella," I laughed, kissing her shoulder, "you should have seen your face under the water. You looked like a bubble fish."

"SHUT UP!"

"I'm serious... Your cheeks were all puffy and your mouth was puckered and your eyes wide like you saw a ghost."

"Edward. Comments like this makes me never want to have sex with you again."

"Baby," I laughed, spinning her around and moving us to the nearest wall, "you know you want to have sex with me right now."

"Nope. We had sex a few hours ago. I'm over it."

"You're over sex?"

"Yes." She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Mmmhmm."

"I am. You're old news."

I laughed, dipping the back of my head in the water, "sure I am."

"You are. I'm moving on. To my vibrator."

"I'll be your vibrator."

"The vibrator works faster than you do."

"You weren't complaining the night before last when you were coming all over my fingers."

She pushed me away from her, but I just swam right back, "You're such a cocky ass. Dickward."

"Why in the fuck does everyone put these little names in front of the last four letters of my first name?"

"Because we do! And you _are _a Dickward. And an Assward. And a..." She became flustered, before shouting, "...Cockward."

I laughed again and gave her that favorite grin of hers, "You love my cock."

"Shut the hell up and leave me be."

"Nope," I shook my head. "I'm here to annoy you."

"Well you do it well." _Damn, she was feisty._

"Bella, you're turning me on right now."

She laughed then straightened up and tried to still look pissed, "Of course. You're a horn-dog."

"I am not," I laughed. "I'm a twenty-some year old guy, in my sexual prime, with a fine-ass wife that I have four years of lost time and sex to make up to."

"That doesn't make you any less of a horn-dog."

I gave her a wink and an arrogant smirk, "You love it."

"Mmhmm."

"You loved it last night when you were begging me to fuck you."

"I was delusional."

I moved closer, pinning her up tight against the wall, and pressed myself into her center, my mouth a second away from hers. Then I whispered against her lips, "I can make you delusional again if you'd like." She sighed and kissed my lips, caving into me. I smiled into her lips then ran my fingers through her hair. When we pulled away, I stroked her cheek, "See? You can't stay mad at me."

"It's really pissing me off that I can't because that might make you think you could get away with murder."

I shook my head, my mouth still against hers, "I won't murder you."

She giggled, and swept her tongue in my mouth. I sucked it in and gripped her ass, listening to her sigh. Shit like that. Simple shit like that just turned me on more. A few seconds later, she broke our kiss and pulled her face back to look at me, "You are... quite happy to see me today, aren't you?"

I smirked and pressed into her again, making her assumption that much easier to feel, "It's our last day."

An instant frown crossed her lips, and she rested her head against the ridge of the wall, "Don't remind me."

"It's going to be okay," I whispered, rubbing her sides. It sucked, seeing her sad. I hated it.

"So you say."

"It will be."

She exhaled, her chest rising against me, "I don't want to go back. I don't want to work. I don't want to be separated from you."

"We're married. We won't ever be separated again."

"We will when we have to work and stuff."

"I know," I frowned, "But we can sleep together every night. We never have to be alone."

"You work double and triple shifts at times, Edward. Some weeks, it takes you three days before you get home."

"I'll try to talk to Aubrey about it," I said softly. "See if I can't come up with something."

"She won't adjust your schedule. You're still-"

"She likes me, Bella. I get away with murder at that job. I'll talk to her."

She looked at me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, "She better not like you enough to make me want to knock her fucking head off."

"Hey," I pulled her roughly to me, "none of that. You know better."

"I know," she exhaled. "I just hate that she gets more time with you than I do sometimes."

"I feel the same way about Ryan."

"And Aimee."

"And Ryan."

She laughed and shook her head, "Two to one."

"Still. Ryan is enough trouble for both the girls at my job. And I don't have a past with Aubrey and you know it."

"Ryan is not trouble. I love him. He's a good buddy."

"Bella, a word of the wise: Do not tell your brand new husband that you love your male co-worker, whom at which said-husband cannot fucking stand and want to stab out his eyes with my pen every time I notice him gawking at you or calling late at night."

"It's for work when he calls!"

"Still."

"Aimee pages you."

"So does Bree and Aubrey and my male coworkers and a few other people, and it's not a conversation, and it's not a two hour phone conversation!"

She sighed and shook her head, "I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting," I kissed her chin. "I'm just letting you know where I stand."

"Same here."

"Okay," I exhaled, letting it go. "Can we make out now?"

She laughed and caved in, pulling me into her and kissing me. And all that damn hostility and drama faded away into the wind, and all I felt was her body wrapped around me. We spent a good while making out and wading in the water.

After that, we bathed in the sun, making sure everyone back home would be jealous of our tans when we got back.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Mmm?"

"I was thinking about the nursery..."

"Mmhmm..."

"And, I was thinking... what about a jungle theme? Or maybe baby-blue, with little white lambs? Both could be suitable for a boy or a girl..."

I smiled and turned my head, finding Bella laying on her back beside me, "That sounds good."

"Do you really think that?"

"Yes."

She bit her lip, "Now if we can just get that damn house loan."

I nodded and turned back toward the sun, "We'll get it. One way, or another, we'll get it babe."

"I don't know," she sighed. "We still have my student loans to pay off, my house to sell... We have to figure out what to do with your condo if Alice decides to move out. We have to figure out the vehicle situation, plus come up with all of the deposits. Have to have a walk-through to make sure everything is working right-"

"Bella," I reached to my right, stroking her oiled arm, "Don't worry. Let me take care of all of that."

"We're in this together, Edward."

"You're right, we are. But you're carrying the baby, and since I cannot do that, and you cannot handle too much stress, will you please let me handle this?"

She sighed, "You know I won't be able to sit back."

"Try."

"Edward."

"Bella."

She exhaled, "Why do you have to be so damn difficult?"

"Why do you have to be so proud?" I replied. "I _know _you're independent Bella. I know you had your own job and your own house and all of this other stuff before I came back into your life... but it _is _the man's job to provide for his family, and that is what I am going to do. Call me old-fashioned if you want. But I was raised this way but a line of families who've had no trouble with this lifestyle, and I'd like to continue along in that stream of things."

"So I am supposed to be the house-wife all the time? Cooking, cleaning, laundry, raising babies..."

"I never said you had to quit your job."

"Yes you did. In the cafe."

"No, I said you should _lower _your hours after the baby comes Which I still think you should. My mom raised me, and didn't quit her job. It _can _work, Bella. We don't have to fight this system of things. It works for a reason."

"I just don't want to feel useless."

I cocked my head toward her and pulled on her arm so she'd look at me, "Bella, listen. You're never useless or insignificant. I just want you to be happy and healthy. This is a lot of stress for anyone, being a new mom and working and all of the rest we have on our plate. I want things as easy for you as possible. I don't want to upset you. I want to keep you safe."

She smiled and rubbed my hand, "I know you do. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just tell me you love me."

"I love you Edward."

I grinned, "I believe that."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

It was our last day.

That's all I could think about, and with every minute, I fell into a deeper depression.

Edward did his best to cheer me up, but I knew he knew I was upset about going back. We went diving again in the ocean. We took the boat toward these rocks that looked like caves, where Edward proceeded to dive off and show me his stunt work. Then we swam in the ocean there, until I felt something brush against my leg, convinced myself it was a shark, and begged him to take me to dry land.

We rocked in the hammock again, eating sandwiches and nuzzling while he sipped on a Corona.

Before I knew it, it was dark again.

We were in the bedroom, me laying on my stomach, Edward gathering things together.

I didn't want to pack. Packing was one step closer to leaving.

I didn't want to be sad... we still had time left.

I didn't know what to do.

Plus it was raining outside. Again. Pitch black, thunder, lightning...

"Hey Bella."

I turned, to find Edward kneeling beside me, holding a video camera.

"I found it in my suitcase. Apparently, Emmett packed it for me."

"It's nice."

He smirked and shook his head, "It's better than nice."

"Why's that?"

He grinned and stood, before stalking over to me like a lion, "roll over."

I did as he asked, puzzled expression in tow, "What are yo-"

He hovered over me, the thing pointed down on me, "Let's make a video."

"It's our last day! We missed everything. We should have found it earlier."

He laughed and shook his head, and his eyes were full of mischief, "No, Bella... Let's make a _good _video."

Immediately it all clicked together, "Are you kidding me?"

"Nope."

"Edward-"

"Come on Bella. Please? Oh, it'd be so fucking hot. I could watch it when you weren't home, and... Baby, _please_?" He pouted his lip, those damn green eyes sparkling.

"Are you serious?"

He gave me a nod.

I stared at the red light showing that it was recording. _Could I really do this? _

I looked back to him and all of his excitement. There was no way I could turn him down.

"Okay."

"YES!" he shouted, looking happier than ever.

"On one condition!"

"What? What, name it, anything."

I laughed, "Before we get too carried away, we work on your control."

He froze.

I beamed up at him, "You said anything. And you promised."

A shiver went through him, "Uhhh... all right." His voice was so low. He looked scared.

"Trust me, Edward. It will be good for you. And you can always use the safeword if you get too bothered."

He cleared his throat and looked me up and down, "What do I have to do?"

"Do you see that chair behind you?"

He turned, "...Yes."

"Go sit in it."

He looked back at me for a moment, confusion in his brows.

"Please," I bat my lashes at him.

He sighed and climbed off of the bed, heading toward the chair.

"Oh, and Edward? Put the camera over there, on the shelf. You can't hold it. Make sure it's hitting us both."

He looked even more confused as he did what I instructed, before plopping down in the chair in front of me.

I climbed out of the bed, and went over to my suitcase, carrying the cd my sister made for me, writing on top of it stating _'Music to get him to blow his load'_.

Ahh, my sister did have a way with the words.

Giggling, I moved over to the radio and put it in, making sure the volume was turned up. Then I stood in front of him, and rounded my shoulders.

_Okay, Bella. Pep-talk time. Just like in the cabin, when you danced for him. Except this time, you're going to actually strip._

Exhaling, I bit my lip and studied his eyes in the dim, glowing lights, "I have but a few rules for you."

"...Okay."

"You do not touch me until I say. You can make noise, move around, anything else. But don't touch."

He nodded, "All right."

I looked to my right, to make sure the red dot was there. Then I turned back to him, while _'Red Light Special' _by _TLC _came on. Keeping our eyes locked, I started swaying my hips to the beat, more wide with each step. His eyes trailed down my skin, and I spun around slowly, making sure he could see my ass beneath my tight jeans I was now wearing.

"Damn, you look good Bella," he said softly.

I smiled and rose my arms up over my head, before circling in a drop to the floor, then back up again. I looked over my shoulder, to notice him leaning back in the chair, one knee bent, one leg straight, his hand beneath his chin, elbow on the arm rest. Lips parted, eyes lusting over and turning coal-like.

I kept swaying as I pulled the tank-top over my head, forcing my hair to fall down my shoulders. I spun it around my finger, before tossing it toward his feet.

He bent forward and picked it up, before nestling back in his spot, shirt clutched in his hands.

I walked toward him slowly and made sure to give a good show as I pressed my legs against his, spreading his wider.

He smirked, allowing me to stand in the center.

_Baby it's yours, if you want it tonight... I'll give you the red... light... special... all through the night. Baby it's yours, if you want it tonight... Just come through my door, take off my clothes, and turn on the red light._

I twisted and pressed my butt against his jeans, arching my back. His fingertips tightened on the arm rest and he struggled to hold still as I began to grind. It didn't take long before he was pressing against me through the fabric. I bit my lip, and moved off of him.

"Damn, Bella."

I ran my hands down his chest and up, through his hair, "Eyes here, baby."

His eyes found where my hands were, on my pants. Licking his lips, he watched as I unfastened and un-zipped.

Then I twisted around and moved the jeans slowly down my hips, making sure to bend over as the jeans fell to the floor. Then, for extra credit, I ran my hands up my legs and in between, making sure he could see my fingers against my panties, before standing back up.

And he was fucking smirking, his chest heaving up high and down low... "You're making it easy to want to fuck you, Bella."

"Good."

I stepped backward and untied the top of my bathing suit. As the top fell, I covered my breasts, and fisted them in my palms, biting my lip and making sure he knew what I was thinking. He leaned forward in the seat, his elbows on his knees, most likely to adjust his... situation.

_As if I'm even close to being finished._

I twisted my hips and twirled around slowly, making sure to arch my back, flip my hair, run my hands down my body. Then I turned my eyes back to him, and tucked the sides of my bikini strings, causing the bottoms to fall to the floor. _'Nobody' _by _Keith Sweat _was up next.

He grinned arrogantly, and leaned back, making a big scene of how well he was handling himself.

"Edward," I sighed, walking toward him, "are you okay?"

"I'm great."

I straddled his lap in the chair, pushing my bare breasts up toward his lips, "and now?"

He stared at them, licking his lips, "wonderful."

"Remember... no touching." I moved slowly, dragging my nipple across his bottom lip.

I felt his breath shorten as he struggled to remain still.

My left hand found his hair, and I yanked it back hard, making him look at my eyes, "are you okay now?"

A growl escaped his chest as I started to rock into his pants, and he nodded silently.

I kissed his lips slowly, and he was a good boy, not kissing me back. That earned him a good grip of my hand near his pants. I continued to grind on him, alleviating pressure for the both of us, until we were both panting and wanting more.

Then I climbed off, despite myself, and walked backward to the bed.

"Can I come over there?"

"No," I sat on it, "you can be a good boy and stay where you are."

"Bella..."

"Come on, Edward," I smiled, scooting toward the middle of the bed, "this is going to be fun."

"Bella... what are yo-"

His voice cut off when he saw my hands trailing south of the border.

"A little birdie told me that you had a fantasy about watching me... is this true Edward?"

He nodded, swallowing hard.

I licked my lips and tilted my head, opening my legs to give him a better view, "is this what you had in mind?"

Again, another nod, as he pulled the front of his shirt away from his chest.

I licked my finger next and trailed it around my belly button, "and this?"

"Lower." His voice was a faint whisper now.

Smirking, I did as he asked, my three fingers rubbing gently along my form, my middle finding the entrance and circling around the wetness there. And I thought he was about to fall out of the chair, his eyes were so wide, and his mouth open, and he looked so fucking sexy sitting over there in the dark, watching me.

I smiled, dragging my fingers back up, opening myself for his viewing pleasure.

He rubbed his face and dropped back against the chair, "I can't fucking think straight."

"Control, Edward," I said, running my wet pointer finger in a small, slow circle around my clit. He said dirty talk too.

I had to.

"Edward... I wish you could feel how wet I am for you right now..."

He groaned and readjusted himself as my fingers started to speed up.

I smiled, giving him more of a show as I caressed my folds over and over, "...Just thinking about you is enough to make me wet... But when I think about what you'd do to me if you were with me... where your fingers would be... how your lips would kiss mine... how your tongue dips inside of me, swirling around and around, pushing in and out, your saliva mixed and you humming into my skin-"

"_Fuck_, Bella."

"...and I just become unbelievable horny, and I _have _to,... _mmmmmm_, ...t-touch myself, and pretend these fingers are yours, so I can have _any _amount of relief."

His tone was raspy, and low, "Is that how you do it? Just like that?"

I shrugged, trailing the wetness to the places I wanted the most, "_mmmmmm_... it... _uhhhhh_.... depends."

He blew out a gust of wind and readjusted himself again, "depends?"

"Mmhmm," I blew my hair out of my face, getting lost in the sensations of this moment, "depends on what I fantasize you're doing to me...."

"Like?"

I smiled and moved lower toward the end of the bed.

"Well..." I swirled my finger around my entrance, teasing myself, "this is what I'd do if I imagined you'd want to tease me..."

I moaned and arched my back, shivering a bit.

"A-and..." drag my finger up to my clit and stroked it up and down, "this is what I think about when you use the flat of your tongue.... mmmmmmm."

Moved my finger in a circle, creating a hiss from the back of my throat, "and when you.... use the tip of it..., like this..."

"Shit...."

"And..." I threw my head back, instantly wanting release, "...when you slide that tongue inside of me.... I use one finger.... like this.... and press against my walls..."

I could barely hear him grunting over my own sporadic breathing.

"Edward, yes..."

"Oh my fucking God, Bella, this is killing me."

I pushed two in, "God yes..."

"Jesus _fucking _Christ."

A third, "E-Edward...."

I heard him moving now, and knew he had stood up.

His hands touched my leg, and my it instinctively shot out, my foot against his chest, "don't."

"Fucking... _Bella_..."

"Mmmm," I was getting so lost in it, I could barely control myself as my fingers grew minds of their own, dancing around the way Edward took control over me.

"Ohhhhh.... _Mmmmmm_........."

Harder. My fingers were moving harder. "Unnghhhh..."

He groaned, but I had my eyes closed and I couldn't see what he was doing.

"Eddward.... I'm close."

"Baby..." His voice was faint. "Please... Let me do it."

"_Unngghhhhhhhhhhhh_."

"Fuck," he panted, and I felt him pulling off his shirt, tossing it beside my head, "Bella. Baby... _Please_?"

I shook my head, though I really wanted his help, "touch yourself, Edward. Do it, for me."

"Fuck," he panted, un-fastening his pants quickly.

I managed to slow myself down enough to prop up and look at him, take himself in his right hand and start to stroke. He wasn't going slow.

"Two hands, Edward," I panted, before stroking my breasts simultaneously with my hand down south, "like this."

"I want to stroke _you_."

"I know," I moaned. "I want to touch you too..."

"Then why can't we..."

"Control, Edward."

He growled, and his movements sped up, rougher.

I followed in suit with my own hands.

We both started breathing and panting, his body standing between my legs. So close, but so far away.

Over and over and over and over, moaning and groaning and thrashing and panting...

And I wanted more. Before it was too late and we both found our releases.

"Edward, stop."

He instantly froze, his lusted eyes locked onto my mirroring ones.

I licked my lips as our chests heaved. We couldn't unlock our eyes.

"What is it, baby?"

I bit my lip, my nerves kicking in, "you did it."

"Did what?"

"Controlled yourself and did what I asked."

"But... we're not... finished," he looked down to me, to his hand still wrapped around himself.

"I know... I have one other thing to ask you."

"W-What?"

I swallowed and mustered up the courage, "Fulfill your final wish."

He tilted his head, not understanding.

I sat up and ran my fingers up his stomach, "the one you keep asking to do."

"Bella... are you sure?"

I nodded. "I want to try it. And you deserve it."

"It might hurt..."

"I don't care," I shook my head, moving closer to him. "I want you to have this. I know you won't hurt me too much."

"I'll try not to..."

"That's enough for me."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I blew out a gust of wind as Edward massaged my body. We were both still aching for orgasms, but it wasn't the first thing on our minds.

I was nervous, and he knew it.

He was doing whatever it took to keep me calm.

His hands felt amazing, rubbing all over my skin, kneading me and massaging. We talked for a few moments, after we calmed down enough to speak... He admitted he brought a finger vibrator, just in-case, because he wanted to make this easier for me. ...Not to mention a lot of lubrication.

He also admitted that he cannot stand to see me in any amount of pain. Well, that makes two of us.

But I wanted to try this, and I know he did, so I figured it was now or never. May as well do it before we get back to Seattle.

"Bella," he kissed my ear, "before we do this, I want to try something else first."

"What?"

He turned my face, "open your mouth."

I did after a smile.

And he did that fucking tongue lick thing again... that he did a few days back... when he licked all the way up and down again, slowly, before kissing me and doing it again. I moaned and pushed into him with my face. He pulled back before we got too carried away, his fingers grasping my face.

I stared at him in disbelief. I wanted him to continue and he knew it.

That's all it took to get me aroused again.

He released me with his right hand and ran it down my back, all the way above my ass cheeks, "...here."

I bit my lip and inhaled through my nose. I knew what he was getting at. But would I really let him?

He gave me the face. The one that activates virgins to throw their virginity at him in handfuls.

_Damn the face._

"Okay," I whispered, closing my eyes.

"Remember... _pineapple_, if you don't like it."

"Okay."

I swallowed hard as he hovered himself over my back and began to massage and kiss his way down slowly. Each inch he moved caused my heart to climb in my throat. And what a perfect song of the moment to hit this nail on the head... _'Lick' _by _Joi_.

Struggling to breathe, I felt him push a few pillows beneath my hips.

"You are so sexy Bella," he whispered against the small of my back... my hot spot when he puts his mouth there.

Immediately I moaned and arched into him. I couldn't help it.

He smiled against my skin, "I know you taste good everywhere..."

I pushed my face into the pillow as he licked a circle around my back, narrowing in like a bulls-eye on the spot.

His fingers kept kneading me, rubbing against my backside, and before I knew it, I was arching up to him again.

Why now? Why when I knew what he was about to do? Wait... _Did I want this?_

One lick.

One lick of his soft, wet tongue, and all the nerves woke up instantly.

_Hell YES I wanted this._

"Mmm," I panted, ignoring the fact that this was taboo.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, rubbing my thighs.

I nodded, sealing my eyes tight.

_Magic tongue. Magic, magic, MAGIC tongue._

I felt him being gentle, licking slowly with the flat of his tongue, dragging his bottom lip up slowly following it... and I loved him licking me anywhere... especially in the front... but _this_, as weird as it sounds, it felt amazing. I moaned as his fingers gripped me and lifted me toward his face. His tongue began to swirl with the tip.

I moaned louder.

He moved quicker.

I cursed into the pillow. I about ripped all the stuffing out with my fingers.

His fingers inched toward my aching center, and he began to stroke simultaneously with the rhythms of his mouth. If he licked up, his fingers moved up. If he swirled around, his fingers matched perfectly.

Over, and over, my mind slowly evaporated, until I was aching and begging, so close to my release, once again.

I didn't even care what he was doing to me.

I didn't care about what anyone else would think.

He was a magic man, with the magic tongue, and the magic fingers, and the magic form, and I wanted all of it, simultaneously, over and over and over again. Repetitively.

"More," I panted, ignoring the sweat against my face.

He obliged, spinning me out into the universe, dipping his fingers inside of me and curling upward.

I groaned and arched my back to him, "More. Please."

"Mmm," he hummed, kissing the small of my back, "I love you so much."

"More, please," I begged again.

I felt his finger, soaking wet, trailing down my back, and over my backside where he just licked. He kept his other hand occupying me in the front, while his finger grazed circles around my back entrance. He seemed hesitant, as if he wasn't sure if I could take it.

I could take it.

I would take it.

I pushed toward his finger, and he hissed as the tip entered me. It didn't feel too bad, sort of like the other night, when his tongue was working me at the same time. A little tighter when he'd pull out, but when he'd push in, it felt pretty damn good... I pushed more, arching my back. Encouraging him. We were nowhere near where he wanted to be, and I couldn't have him panicking on me this early in the game.

"Edward, that feels good," I encouraged him, my hand finding his finger against my clit, "keep going. Everywhere."

He kissed my back, told me he loved me again, and began moving his fingers in rhythm. No pain.

"Does that feel good baby?"

"Mmhmm," I panted. "More."

"Stay relaxed," he said, and I knew he was adding more lube. The second finger was a lot different, but still not dreadfully painful... just new. Really, really, new. He never stopped his hand in the front, and took his time with me, to make sure I could stretch accustom to him.

panted into the pillows, imaging myself full of him... sheathed by him... I could do this.

I _was _doing it.

After a few moments, when I re-focused back on my pleasure he was providing, I told him it was okay.

The third finger hurt pretty bad. I'm not going to lie. But only when he pulled. There was something about pushing it in that was okay... but the pull sucked. It was weird, how that would be, considering the purpose of a rectum was to push stuff out, but today, it felt better going in.

Again, he took his time, kissing along my neck, brushing the hair off my face, telling me how good I felt.

It took a good five minutes or so before I was ready to move on to anything else.

But Edward was patient, and that's why I trusted him with everything I had.

"Edward," I exhaled, turning back to look at him, "I'm ready..."

"Bella, we don't have to."

"No, I want to," I smiled genuinely.

He nodded and added another pillow below my hips.

Then he brushed his teeth, washed his face to calm down, and brought me a glass of water. I needed it to calm down and he knew it.

Edward used one of his fingers to push a lot more lube inside of me. After that, he lubed himself up with so much, I thought we'd waste half the bottle in one night. But it was okay. Whatever it took to get us closer, and have new experiences.

I wanted Edward to be my first for this. For everything.

And I wanted to give him this too.

He sighed as he rubbed himself there, and my heart started to pound out of my chest.

_For him, I thought. For him, for him, for him. _

_It's all yours, Edward. Take it._

The finger with the vibrator was against my front, and I gasped when he turned it on, immediately consumed with that bubble feeling in my stomach. I didn't even care that he was using his fingers in me anywhere else... I fucking loved that vibrator finger-pad thing, and needed to get myself one asap.

"Mmmm," I panted, "I love you."

He pushed the tip in slowly.

My eyes lit up like sunbursts.

"Are you okay?"

_Fucking OW_. "Mmhmm."

"Do you want to use the safeword?"

I shook my head.

His fingers found my hip and he steadied himself, and my shaking form, "Stay relaxed baby." Began to massage me gently, on my hip, and my front. "You're doing so fucking good. Oh God..."

I blew out a gust of air I had been holding.

"I'm just going to..." He lifted me up slowly, careful not to thrust, and his fingers pushed inside of me and curled, hitting that g-spot thing we both loved so much. Instantly, I relaxed, and tried to push into it. He grabbed me, "Easy, baby." He chuckled. He began to kiss my shoulders, as he worked his fingers, and held me still.

Then he pushed in a bit more.

And my eyes grew wider. And all I felt was burning and stretching, yet sensations and nerves, and vibrations and happy g-spots, and I didn't know what the fuck I felt but I sure as hell felt something and I couldn't stop moaning, and I was in pain but it wasn't too bad that I hated it, and I began to just pant.

Because I couldn't think of anything else to do.

Edward blew out a gust of wind, and I knew he was holding himself back for me. Again, with the patience.

"I'm okay," I whispered, pushing toward that vibrating wall.

He drew in a deep breath, kissed my neck, and pushed in a bit more.

_Ow. Ow, ow, ow. Owwwwwwwwwwwww._

"It'll only hurt for a moment, baby," he said reassuringly. "Just until you adjust. I won't move, I promise."

"No, no," I shook my head. "Move. Slowly. It'll help I think."

"Bella, are you sure?"

"Yes." _Move. Move, move, move._

Edward began to thrust his fingers, dragging the vibrator up and down my front wall, while he met me behind. With each stroke, I felt my eyes grow wider, but myself stretching more... It was getting better. Not fantastic, but better. I wasn't shaking no more. I wasn't nervous, necessarily.

Again, this was new.

"I love you so much, Bella," he rubbed my hip, "you're incredible. You feel so good to me."

Curled his fingers tight.

"Unnghhhh," I panted.

"I'm going to move again now."

"Okay," I panted, loving that vibrating finger. _ Focus on that, focus on that_.

His chest met my back as the same time three fingers pushed into me. He was all the way inside.

In every place.

...And then he let out the sexiest damn groan I had ever heard in my entire existence, and it floored me.

Followed by a raspy, "Jeeesssus fucking... _Mmmmm_."

I blew out a gust of wind, ignoring the slight pain, focusing on the pleasure of him.

Of giving him what he wanted. I would do anything for him. Anything in this entire world, and this was proof of that.

After a couple moments of adjusting, his other hand wrapped around me and pressed on my collar bone, my heart's blood pounding against his palm. Then he began a slow pace. "You're doing so wonderful, baby... Keep your breathing steady... Just like this..."

I nodded, pushing toward his fingers.

As soon as he started, I felt him throbbing, and knew it'd be no time at all.

He steadily rocked himself, cursing each time he pushed in, and hissing each time he pulled back. Each thrust got easier. Each grunt made me want to give this to him more.

I loved listening to him breathing. Loved feeling his heartbeat against my back. Loved his words of encouragement, his silent thank-you's, his kisses on my neck and shoulders, the brush of my hair off my back.

Those were the things I stayed focus on. Those, and the finger.

God I love his magic finger.

It felt as if each time he pushed in with his form, he was almost touching his fingers on the other side. I felt complete by him. Full by him. Loved by him.

And I knew he felt the same things by me.

Time moved by, and we were here, and that was all that mattered.

All this other stuff was nothing compared to the trust we held for each other.

"So good," he mumbled into my skin, "so tight and so good and I love you."

"Mmm," I panted, overwhelmed once more.

"Tell me you're mine, Bella."

"I'm yours."

"Again."

"Ohhh, I'm yours Edward," I sighed, gripping a hand full of his hair. "I'm yours, all yours."

He smiled and kissed my neck, "and I am yours alone as well."

I groaned as he sped up.

I can't describe what I was feeling.

Consumed, yes.

Was it pain?

Was it pleasure?

Was it both?

Was I growing numb to one of them?

Both?

Nope, it had to be none.

I felt it.

And I wanted it. Even the pain.

"You are everything," I panted, dropping toward my hands, "I want you to... enjoy this."

"Fuck, Bella, go slow baby," he gasped, though he thrust toward me. "Uunnngghhh."

I winced then pushed back, on my hands and knees.

Again, was it pain?

I wasn't sure anymore.

It was as if I was operating and feeling everything, but then outside my body as well.

Over, and over, and over again, he pushed and pulled, rubbed me in the best ways in the front, leaned and kissed and rubbed and supported...

"I'm close," he grunted.

"Me too, don't stop."

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Fuck, Bella."

His fingers steadied on that spot.

"EDWARD... Mmm..."

Over and over, faster and slower, gentle and never rough...

"Please?" I begged, my stomach tightening over, "I'm..."

And then his finger did the trick and I about boiled over, screaming nonsense, my walls clenching and pulling him in... on both sides.

Sensations.

Over and over, sensations... more senses, more nerves, more walls, more wetness.

I came and came, and clamped and moaned, and panted, and sacrificed myself to him.

He kept that fucking finger on that spot, and over and over I went, over the edge of bliss and pain, again, back and forth, until it _all _felt good.

And a few seconds later, he was right behind me, releasing inside and shaking, struggling to support me and not fall on top of me.

He couldn't even speak.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I struggled to hold her to me, my fingers still inside of her, her walls throbbing and sucking me deeper, even after my release.

She was panting and stiff, on her hands and knees, dead weight in my arms.

And I couldn't think of anything to think about.

How do you describe the best experience in your entire sexual history?

Easy. You can't.

So I didn't try to figure out anything to say.

She gasped when I slowly pulled myself back away from her, but that was all she said, before she flattened shakily on her stomach.

_Shit._

Did I hurt her?

_Oh fuck._

_Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck._

"Bella?" I whispered, rubbing the back of her neck. "Baby?"

"Mmm?" she replied staggardly.

What to do?

What to do, what to do...

_Fucking FIX IT, jackass_.

Instantly, all the guilt of my actions fled over me. I felt sickened.

"Baby?"

Silence.

I checked to make sure she wasn't passed out.

She had her eyes open.

I ran into the bathroom and soaked a washcloth in hot water and mild soap.

_Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot._

How could I do that to her?

How could I fucking hurt her?

_Fix it. Fix it, fix it, fix it._

I lifted her in my arms and slowly began to wash her, wiping all the lube off, careful around the sensitive areas.

I can't remember how many times I apologized.

All I kept saying was how much I loved her and how sorry I was and how stupid I was to ever think this up.

Basically, I put myself in a panic.

And I wanted to take the pain away from her.

After a few moments of careful washing, she pulled herself up, helping me assist her, "I'm okay."

"No you're not."

"Yes," she nodded blankly. "Yes, I think I am."

"Bella, you couldn't even res-"

"No, no, Edward," she grabbed my wrists tightly, stilling me from washing her sides, "look at me."

I couldn't.

"Edward, look at me."

I shook my head.

I was an idiot. A selfish, stupid idiot.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, if you fucking love me, then you will look at me. _Now_."

I frowned and drew my eyes up to hers.

And all her caramel ones reflected was pure love.

I didn't deserve it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be."

"I'm so sorry."

"Edward, stop."

"You should have said the safeword."

She shook her head, "Why would I want to do that?"

"Bec-"

"Edward, look at me," she shook me. "_Look _at my face. Okay? I'm fine! I'm not hurt. You didn't hurt me."

I shook my head but her hands found my face and she forced me to stop.

"Edward... you didn't hurt me."

"Don't lie to me."

"You didn't. Yes, it stung, for a few minutes... but you did not hurt me. You were patient, and kind, and you took care of my needs first, over your own. I would never regret _any _of that."

"B-"

"No but's. I swear on my life, I am fine. You are fine."

I frowned and rubbed her legs, "I don't ever want to hurt you."

"You didn't. You never will."

"Don't ever let me."

"I won't have to. I know you. I know your heart, Edward. I know everything about you. That's why I married you."

I looked up at her, and her face was fucking glowing, and she was so beautiful, and I loved her even more.

"You're all that matters to me. Look what we just did, Edward... You and me..."

I nodded and rubbed her face, "Can I tell you something?"

"Anything," she rubbed mine.

"You were my first. I've... I never did that before. Not with Tanya, not with anyone else."

"But I thought that-"

"No."

"_Never_."

"Never."

"But... there's no way."

I chuckled, "Why is that?"

"Because... you were so good at it? At making sure we went slow, that I was okay. You seemed so experienced."

"I seemed that way because you were my first priority."

She sighed and tilted her head, smiling at me, "Wow..."

"What?"

She grinned, "You saved yourself for me."

I brushed her face and kissed her slowly, before mumbling, "Like I said... I'm yours as well..."

Another kiss, "Yours alone."

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_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 29! **

**-- Guys guess what!! I have found the baby (or possible bab**_**ies**_**) for the TEF sequel! And I've got to tell you, the sequel ideas are POURING in, for all characters. I think it's going to shock a lot of people, the last chapters of TEF, with what's to come. Who ends up with who, who goes away, who splits up, what new things come about, so on so forth. I'm so excited. Just thought I'd throw out that little teaser! ;)**

**-- Most songs ****(Some I couldn't find) that are**** featured in this chapter, are in the profile, with downloadable links. I know, I know... you love me. ;) I'm sorry I couldn't get all of them in, but will find a place eventually, hopefully.**

**-- For those who continue to ask me where I get my research on how Edward's job works, here's another brief explanation, of combined answers:  
" **Education and training for standard OB-GYN: Formal education and training requirements for physicians are among the most demanding of any occupation. 3-4 years of undergraduate school and 3-4 years of medical school (depending on Honors select), and 2 to 8 years of (possible rotating) internship and complete residency, which may be completed together with approval. A few medical schools offer combined undergraduate and medical school programs that last 4-6 years rather than the customary 8 years (again, depending on Honors, history, advancement, placement, and G.P.A.) Some selectees are allowed to complete the internship while in medical school, and a select few may also have the ability to graduate and complete their residency early-decision, by approval of the board. To be licensed, all physicians must graduate from an accredited medical school, pass a licensing examination, and complete 1 to 7 years of graduate medical education, before taking the standard tests**. "**

**Blended Sources: **_**WikiAnswers, Google, ObGynCareer**_**  
**...So basically, I am allowing him to be in that said _'select few'. _Hope that clears up confusion. :)

Don't forget to join these if you haven't: **Addicted To The Ex Factor Facebook Community **at. **http://www(dot)facebook(dot)com/group(dot)php?gid=65233163962#/group(dot)php?gid=65233163962** . And the **Twilighted TEF Forum **as well: **http://www(dot)/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=2577&start=0&st=0&sk=t&sd=d **  
As always, make sure to replace the (dot) with a ( **. **) (Links can also be found in my profile.)

**Reviews are better than Edward saving himself for Bella, and her saving herself for him :D**

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**NOTE: **This is not to over-dramatize or gain attention. It is not meant to open a flood gate of hate. This is just for my defense, as to back up my readers, since some seem to be 'spoken for' by this one person. *sigh*

**TO WHOEVER WROTE THIS REVIEW:  
**_Yes 2009-07-06 . chapter 28_

_OMFG! You actually have the nerve to ask people to vote for this piece of ** when it takes you a month to complete one chapter. WTF happened to the other characters? Will we have to wait two months now to get the other half or the honeymoon? This is so pathetic! I see why this was not even nominated for The Bellies, no one with a brain is even reading this anymore. I love authors like The Dominant that are kick ** and update once or twice a week even AG at least tells us that she is having real problems and why she has not updated. You actually wait until the last minute and make up an excuse every time as to why you have not updated. I can think of lots of Authors on here with way better stories than this like Pieces Of Time, She's pregnant but she updates twice a week. What's your excuse? OMG and then Falling For You her chapter are always long and they are always good and still she give us update sometimes twice a week. How the hell are you gonna write a sequel if you update once a month and your not even half way done with this story. I'm so done waiting for this crapy story to update. You are a ** writer! Then if you write something to you on the forum you only respond to one person. SuzyQ. Do you think that she is the only one reading your story or do you only care about her opinion and damn everyone else. I would not vote for you or this story if my life depended upon it! You suck!_

**(Again, this is for the lurker who decided to not sign in when creating that review, so that I could have the chance to respond to them privately. It's not meant to be directed to anyone else.)**

Normally I don't address this type of review, because you cannot please everyone and not everyone is going to like you, and I'm learning that... First thing I want to say is, I hope that if anyone here thinks that I'm purposely ignoring them in any way, that you please come and talk to me. Send me a PM. It's never my intention to ignore a reader, I will say that much. I _adore _them. I know I cannot address everyone, though I wish I could. I do my best to keep up and make everyone as happy as much as possible. That's why reader input is so important to me. (Most of the time, I don't respond to individual reviews, because they ask questions in which will be answered in upcoming chapters.) I've never been one to bargain for reviews every single chapter, because although reviews are wonderful and make my day, it's _not _most important. Yes, they're there for encouragement, advice, motivation... But just knowing that someone else is as passionate about these characters is most important, and I see that when I check the FFn charts, or look in my inbox and see where people put me on Alerts, or send me Pm's, or put me as a 'Favorite Author/Story', or whatever else. Send me messages about how I've helped them get through a rough patch, or how TEF has opened their eyes to statistics, or what have you. It's not just about reviews and numbers for me. Or votes for contests.

This is not the first, nor will it be the last negative review I've received, and I'm okay with that. I take it with a grain of salt and learn from it. And I know that there has been a stream of bashing toward quite a few author's lately, and that makes me angry. But again, it happens. However, it upsets me when people call out my readers, on Twilighted, FB, or here, because I feel as if I have to protect them. I'M the author, so bash me if you must bash someone and feel that passionate about doing so. Don't speak for 'the rest' of my readers, unless you know for sure that they are _all _behind you. And straight up bashing will not make ANY author update any faster.

**Not that it's going to matter to the person who wrote that review bc they have their mind set and said they won't be reading any longer, but I'll go ahead and humor myself by responding to you anyway. **  
As for the _'other characters' _being missing, I've mentioned several times (as was it requested by several readers) that the wedding and the honeymoon will be Edward/Bella only, and the other characters will come back after those chapters. No offense to the other characters, but IMPO, Edward/Bella are the most important in TEF, and deserve the most screen time.

.

About my _'lack of updates' _and you liking other authors better... that's wonderful. :D I like them too (as you can tell by my Twilighted forums signature and my constant recc's of their stories) and have high respect for them and their talents. Truly. But in response for me and TEF, my updates are about 4-10x's the size of most of theirs, not to mention the picture/song details in every chapter, and requires more time to get them finished.  
With the exception of the past few updates, my normal updates have been at least once per week on most occasions. Also, I'd much rather make the wait a tad bit longer and put out something actually worth reading, then update 2-3x's per week, and make it something easy to forget and cliched. If I'm going to write, it must be worth people's time, as they are taking that time out of their own lives to read my story. Makes sense, doesn't it?

I'm sorry that I've had a struggle with my personal life, and "Quote: _always making excuses_", but I try my hardest, that's all I can really say. I choose not to tell everyone about what I am dealing with on a personal level, because 1, why would I? And 2, I don't like creating a thousand and one fake-out chapter updates with author's announcements when I don't know when the next update will be or what is going on at that moment. All that does is upset the reader when they think they're getting an update, and click on it, then realize it's an A/N. Also, I don't know what made you think I'm not even _'half-way done' _with TEF. It has about 5 chapters left. Trust me. I'm more than half-way done.

And as far as the _Twilighted _thread goes, I want you to know that I acknowledge _SuzyQ _because, not only does she help me on a personal level, but she's also been helping me sort out ideas for the TEF SEQUEL (YAY!!!!) so that I can get things done faster and make the readers and myself happy. It's not meant for me to ignore everyone else, and I know for a fact that I don't. They're the coolest group of girls, truly. (But in her defense, _everyone _acknowledges her, because she's fucking hilarious AND she runs the 'welcome wagon'.)

I hope whomever is still here will stick with the story, but if you cannot, I understand. There's plenty of stories to get lost in. Plus it's summer time, so if you're that upset about my lack of updates and hate me/my story so much, stop reading it, and go swimming or camping or something. ;) Have fun! It's still warm outside!

And FYI: I'm not taking out the anonymous response. It is there for people who cannot create a profile but still want to give their CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIQUE, advice, or praise about the chapter. And I am not going anywhere. No one is going to run me off. It's sad that that's happened to some authors, but it won't happen to me. I'll face the music because I cannot live without writing, no matter how "shitty" some may think it is.

I don't mean to sound cruel. I'm an honest, caring person, and will do just about anything to create a smile on someone's face. But there's only so many times I will sit back and allow someone to swing at me before I finally take a stand and state my peace. To those of you who aren't interested in the story anymore, I wish you all the best, and maybe next time, the preceding story will be better for you. To those of you who are still with me, you should know how much you mean to me by now. It's not about popularity. It's about making new friendships and bonding over alike interests, and learning this amazing craft of writing. Which is why I'm doing this in the first place. God bless. XOXO.

~Angela.

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**ps -- To all my faithful readers/supporters... MWAH. ILYGSFM. You're the fucking best and anyone who disagrees with me is as blind as a bat.  
No, no, scratch that. They're as blind as Tanya/Aimee was, thinking that Edward would love them or anyone else besides Bella**_**. Pssshttt. Right**_**.**


	30. Growing Pains

To my **Readers**.... I would say over 94% of the total reviews with last chapter had mention of the support you all hold for this story/me, and how upsetting that negative review made you. I am sorry that it had to be _'announced' _in that fashion, and feel guilty for bringing it to your attention, but in a way, I'm glad I did, because I now feel closer to every single one of you, and I never knew that was even possible. Please know that your words hold immense meaning to me. Never doubt that. Ever.

(It was also brought to my attention by one reviewer, so I also wanted to make clear that I never said I didn't like/want reviews in the last chapter, nor did I say I never read them. I _always _read them and always enjoy them. Love each and every opinion and am thankful for it! What I said was the popularity compared to some others, and review numbers didn't matter the _MOST _to me, as long as people were enjoying reading this story and these characters as much as I am enjoying writing them. I will try to make my words more clear next time so no one is wrongfully offended.) Now, moving on...

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**Chapter Thirty: Five weeks after the return of the Honeymoon... All Characters back. No description, just check it out.  
(Warning: **Angst. A part that is quite sad and a bit medically disturbing. Loads of information**.)**

*** Special Thanks to** Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for being my new **Beta!! **It was amazing, how quickly you offered and came on board with me. I love how easily we clicked. I love your attention to detail, and how honest you are about things. You've made me sound somewhat smart this chapter, and I didn't think that was possible! ;) But on a real note, I think your own writing is amazing. You are going to extremely helpful to this story! You rock, my love!

*** & To my **Katie (Kwizbit)** -- I miss you so much. I'm sure you know this though. Can't wait for you to come and do more projects w/me!

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

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_**"**_ _**Say it, does it show?  
Is this test in any other time?  
I know, but I don't...  
I'm blind in every other eye.  
Cold hands, colder smoke...  
We sleep anywhere we lie.  
You're lying if you don't...  
I'll try, I'll try.  
...Like a man possessed.  
A requiem."**_

_**~ The Get Up Kids, "Like A Man Possessed"."**_

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**Chapter Thirty: Growing Pains**

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**_Bella & Baby : 21 weeks long._**

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**BellaPOV **

I exhaled in aggravation, my knees shaking, and squeezed Edward's hand.

"Bella," he sighed, leaning in to me, "are you all right?"

"Mmhmm," I cleared my throat, and pulled his hand into my lap, so I could squeeze it with both hands. Harder.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," I answered sharply.

Edward remained calm, "Because... you're awfully... _bouncy_."

"I know," I sneered.

He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around the back of my chair, giving a nod to a co-worker, before pressing his mouth to my ear, "There is nothing to be nervous about."

"Yes there is."

"What? Tell me."

"We're about to find out this major piece of information here. It's... nerve-wracking. In fact, Edward, _you _should be more nervous."

"I'm not nervous at all," he replied with a grin. "I'm anxious. I want to know, but I'm not... freaking out and spazzing about it, like you've been since last night."

I turned and glared at him.

"Okay," he attempted to correct himself. "Not _freaking out and spazzing_, but... oh hell, whatever. You're freaking out. I'm trying to soothe you and it's not working. What do you want me to do for you?"

"I can't be soothed."

"Evidently not."

Exhaling, I turned away from him, "Just stop trying then. Stop."

He chuckled sarcastically under his breath, pulled his hand from my grasp, leaned forward, and pressed his elbows to his knees, cradling his head.

I'd upset him, once again. It wasn't his fault today. It was mine. He's been working long hours, and was exhausted. I felt bad. Again. "I need your hand back."

"I'll give it to you when you relax a bit. Today's supposed to be exciting."

"It is. I just want to know," I whispered. "Now."

He was getting irritated fast, "And we _will_, as soon as Dr. Sherber is done with her patient."

"Why can't _you _just do it? You know how. Can't we just go in there and get it done? There's a room in there. It's open. Drag the machine in th-"

"Bella."

"Edward."

"Bella. Stop."

I slouched back in my chair. I was being a total pain and I knew it. But so much has happened since we'd arrived back to Seattle from our Honeymoon five weeks ago.

For starters, work has been kicking my ass. Readjusting to my crazy schedule, my new accounts, my boss, everything. Ryan nailed an account I wanted, and I secretly resented him for it, though he was my partner.

Second of all, I hardly ever see Edward, as this stupid hospital has pretty much created a black hole to suck him in to. I don't know how he managed to get the day off to be available for my appointment. If I didn't like Aubrey so much as my doctor, I'd hate her for being Edward's boss.

Third, we're bouncing back and forth from Edward's place to mine. It's annoying. Trying to figure things out with this stupid mortgage loan that the bank is currently rejecting us for, thanks to my school loans, my house, my car payment, and Edward already has two vehicles, a bike, and a freakin' condo in his name, and they're hesitant to give him another loan with so many existing debts, because he's not twenty-five yet. (Even though he's never missed a payment, and normally makes double payments.) On top of that, trying to get the estimates done so we can sell my house... It was a lot.

Fourth, we've hardly been able to catch up with any of our friends, and it's pissing everyone off. It seems they think we're "too good for our friends now". They don't say that, but I know that's what they're thinking. I don't blame them at all. I've seen my sister exactly twice in five weeks, and I don't think Edward's seen Alice or Emmett yet at all. And the three of them are supposed to be inseparable.

Fifth, all this damn weight gain is coming out of freaking _no where_. One minute, I was in a two-piece bikini on the beach, with very little show. Now, I'm wearing a pair of slacks that were once loose, and now are so tight that I almost popped the button off trying to get into them this morning. I'm hungry, _all _the time. I have energy spurts, and tired spurts, and neither can be predicted before it happens. My navel looks funny. My breasts are getting bigger, and all I get is stares from every member of the male gender on the planet. And now I have pain in my abdomen and lower back, constant mood swings (like today), headaches, and the occasional dizziness. Oh. Not to mention constipation this week.

So yay for me.

Sometimes, I get so upset that Edward can go and do as he pleases, when it was just as much his doing as it was mine that we're here, and I want to rip his balls off. So much physical adjusting for a woman. So little for a man. It irritated the royal piss out of me.

Of course, this may be an overstatement. Edward has been great with me, and sometimes I take it to advantage. Sometimes, he's exhausted, and just doesn't want to hear me complaining when he gets home from work. Sometimes, I take things out on him that I shouldn't. I apologize quickly and he is forgiving, but... it's hard. And even if he's a doctor in this field, I don't think he really understands, now that it's him in the _'daddy' _chair.

I do have good days -- a lot of them. This just wasn't one of them, and he knew it, and he was sort of picking on me, and I didn't like it. I just wanted him to be supportive of my feelings today. I don't _want _to be cranky, or crampy, or constipated. I don't want to have mood swings, signs of possessiveness, and half a basketball-looking-thing coming from my abdomen. I want to be cheery and happy-go-lucky, and beautiful to him still. But all these changes are happening in my body, with my job, with our living circumstances, and, at times, it's a lot of stress on me. I think I deserve some days to be allowed to scream. _Is that really too much to ask for? _It didn't help that it's been harder for me to sleep lately. No more laying on the belly. That alone sucks big time.

"Did you hear me, or are you going to ignore me completely today?"

"What?" I said, snapping myself away from my thoughts.

"Never mind."

"Edward, I didn't hear you, I was thinking about stuff we needed to get done. I'm sorry."

He exhaled, cleared his throat, and leaned back in his chair, before stretching out his legs. "I said, it's going to be all right."

_Whatever you say, Edward._ "I know."

"You don't act like it."

"I'm sure I know on the inside."

"You-"

"Hey Edward!"

_As if my day couldn't get any worse. _ I forced a smile, pressed my hand to Edward's back to make a point, and looked up, to find a young, big breasted, pretty blonde standing before us, complete with fluffy white jacket and a backpack. _How sweet. _

"Hello, Aimee. Did you just arrive?" he said.

"Yeah. I work a double today. It's chilly outside for the start of summer."

He smirked, "I know. Good thing you brought a jacket."

_Eye roll. _

"Yeah, a friend got this for me. I like it. Hey... Aren't you two doing the ultrasound today, finding out the gender?"

"That's the plan," he grinned. "I'm very excited."

I couldn't help but shoot daggers at Edward's head. _He told her about today? It wasn't any of her business_.

"Well, good luck on the wish for the boy. I'll be rooting for you," she smiled, too cutely, at _my _husband. "I'll go and see where Aubrey is, and come back and let you know."

"Thanks, Aims. No rush."

She walked away, with her skinny little young body and perfect teeth, and I felt myself seething. Not only did she know about today, but she knew he wanted a boy. I didn't want her to know anything about our wants. He was my husband and this was my life, not hers.

Edward slipped his hand between my crossed legs and massaged my thigh with this thumb. He didn't look at me. He most likely knew I wasn't too happy about her being around. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking telling her stuff, but didn't want to cause a scene in the hospital. I'd wait.

_Bitch couldn't even acknowledge my presence and say hello. Some hospitality._

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**EdwardPOV**

Today has been fucking crazy. My wife is moody, and I can handle that. But, sometimes, it's still a pain in my fucking ass on the inside. I wanted today to be stress-free for her, and I've been doing everything I can to make her feel happy. I went out early and got her some flowers and a card that read, "_Today's another new chapter of our growing life together. Thank you for writing it for me, and with me. I love you Bella_. ~E." I went and got her infamous Starbucks hot tea before she woke up. I ran her bath for her. She was happy for all of that, loving on me, and thanking me. Then, a mood swing happened out of no where, and I'm just left fucking stunned. I work with women. I was raised by one. I grew up with plenty. I know PMS mood swings. I'm prepared for pregnancy mood swings... But this is fucking nuts when it happens in your own life. Totally different from it being your patient.

Scotty stepped in front of us, shook my hand, cleared his throat and whispered, "I realize you're not on the clock, but can I have you look at this report before Aubrey gets over here and skins my ass?"

I kissed the top of Bella's head and left her to glare at the front desk, where Aimee and Bree were gossiping, trying to ignore it. I followed Scotty down the hall, and around, into the empty nurses station. He checked to make sure Aubrey wasn't around, then closed the curtain. I reached out for the manila envelope he was holding, but before I could touch it, he swung it around and slapped the back of my head with it.

"What the fuck was that for?"

"Dude. Don't fucking do what you're doing today."

"What?" I asked, shaking my head.

"I saw you, talking to _Miss 154 bright & sunny_ in front of your pregnant wife. Do you really think that's the best idea?"

"We were just talking! What are you on?"

"She's pregnant! And from what you were telling Aubrey last night -- _yes, I was spying_ -- she's hormonal _and _pregnant, and talking to your old fuck-buddy in front of her probably isn't the best remedy for the situation."

"She works with her fuck-buddy too, Scotty, it's not just me. And Aimee didn't do anything besides say hello and tell me she'd find Doctor Sherber."

"Bella won't see it like that," He shook his head. "Go make it right with your wife."

"Scotty, you have no idea what you're talking about," I scoffed. "You think I don't know that Bella and this baby are my first priority? It's all I ever think about, every damn second. And do you think that I don't see the glares Bella's been giving Aimee today? Aimee's probably so frightened of her right now, she doesn't even want to acknowledge her, in fear that Bella will beat her into a pulp. I know all of this. Stop getting in my business."

"I'm trying to help a friend."

"I can take care of it myself. Now is there a report I need to be looking at or not?"

"Not."

"Fine," I walked out, keeping my vulgarity to myself. I didn't need to lash out at him.

I noticed the tension in Bella's shoulders as I walked by the front desk and Aimee and Bree started to laugh. Ignoring them, I bent down and kissed her hair, before squatting in front of her, "You all right?" She nodded, but frowned. "Bella," I moved closer, holding both her hands, "you're my wife. I love _you_."

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry about earlier. About my mood. I just really cannot _stand _that fucking bitch right now."

"Who?"

"Who do you think? Aimee."

"Baby, you have _nothing _to worry about with Aimee. She didn't do anything," I tried to reassure her. "I'm sorry if she made you uncomfortable, but there's no reason for you to be. She knows how much I love you."

"Yeah, but does she know how much I'll fuck her up if she touches you? I don't care if I'm pregnant or not."

"She won't touch me," I kissed the inside of her wrist, "only you can touch me. And I know she has no intentions of doing it anyway."

"She's a woman, Edward. A man can never predict a woman's intentions. We're sneaky and evil."

I wanted to throw Ryan in her face, but decided against it. It'd start a fight, and wouldn't help anything. Plus, she was just being hormonal. I had to take the slaps today. "Well regardless of your worries, she knows me, and _my _intentions are to have you and this baby in my life. As my _world_. All right?"

She frowned and ran her fingers through my hair, "Okay Edward. I'm sorry. I love you too."

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**BellaPOV**

Eventually, we made our way back to Dr. Sherber's office. We did all the normal check-ups, the weight and blood pressure (both higher today), and she explained to me that I would start to feel the baby moving this week, or sometime real soon. We discussed symptoms I may be having. I was honest, told her about all of them, including my mood swings and bowel issues, though I was embarrassed that Edward was in the room when I explained them.

"That's quite common this week," she answered with a radiant smile. "Bella, you will start to feel a sense of peace in a few more weeks. It could be as long as four or five weeks. But it _will _come. In the meantime, when you start to feel twinges of jealousy or confusion, possessiveness, anger, resentment, exhaustion, frustration... know that all these things are common, and that you are _not _alone. It's normal to feel anger. It's normal to not be as accepting or wonderful or peachy as all those women in made-for-television movies. That is fake and this is real, and it's a hard adjustment for any new expectant mother. Pregnancy is a joyful thing, but it does come with some sacrifices, such as your favorite pair of size-3 jeans, your eating habits, and your sleeping patterns. But it will get easier. I promise you."

She turned her attention, "And Edward, as her spouse, you need to be as understanding of this as humanly possible. I know it can be difficult for you, since she's the one experiencing things that you cannot feel, but you must try." He nodded with a smile. "However, Bella, try to take it easy on him as well. Don't push him away. Neither of you can understand what the other is dealing with, so it's a tough road, okay? But you're both going through it together." We nodded again. "Well," she leaned back. "Today is a big day. We get to find out if it's a little boy or a little girl in there. You're still wanting to know early, correct?"

"Yes."

"Any coin tosses you want to throw up before we go?"

"Edward wants a boy," I answered with a shrug. "I don't care, either way. Just want it healthy."

"It will be," she beamed. "Well, let's go see if Edward gets his wish or not."

We moved into another room, and Edward helped me unfasten my pants, since the button was being difficult. He got a kiss for that one. After that, I pushed up my shirt and got situated. Dr. Sherber put the gel on me, pressed the little wand into my belly, and we were searching away. The first thing I noticed after she pointed out the placenta, was just how big our little baby was getting. I had no idea when I'd imagined it, but there it was, and it explained a lot of the weight gain.

"How big is it?" I asked, biting my lip.

"Baby Cullen is about the size of a large banana... maybe even a doll. Eight inches today. I am predicting it will be tall, just like it's father. The weight is... eleven ounces... By next week, it's going to be a full pound! Now, Bella... Look at the arms and legs... See how they're proportioned?... You're going to feel it moving now. It won't be a jerky twitch anymore. The baby is much more coordinated and even more intelligent. It will get your attention now and say, 'Mama, I'm here, pay attention to me!' Okay?"

I smiled, as Edward kissed my head.

"Okay... here we are..." She showed me the head and the belly, and tried to maneuver the wand around to get a better angle.

She smiled, then turned to Edward, "_Doctor Daddy_," she teased, "would you like to do the honors?"

Edward nodded gratefully, and kissed my hand, before walking over to where she sat. She showed him a few things as a reminder, then let him take her seat, and took his spot on my side. Edward's hand shook a bit as he typed a few things in, and he gave me a nervous smile.

_Now _his nerves were kicking in. Finally.

"I'm not usually nervous," he said. "But it's different when it's your own."

"Don't be nervous," I whispered, patting his shoulder. "You're doing great."

"Thanks," He exhaled and stilled his hand, calming his thoughts, "Can't help it though. It's exciting. I have jitters."

Doctor Sherber laughed and caressed my arm, "Very exciting. Take your time, Doctor Cullen. Do it right for your beautiful wife."

I smiled, wanting to give her a hug. She was so polite. I loved how she called him 'Edward' when we were in her office and he was just another spouse, versus how she called him 'Doctor Cullen' when she put him to work. Distinguishing the difference.

He cleared his throat and began again, moving the wand around. The baby was facing away, toward my back, so anytime he moved it around, our little swimmer pushed a little deeper in the middle.

"It looks like a duck," he said with a soft laugh. "From this angle. Smaller head, larger body, because the head's dipping in... Adorable."

"A _beautiful_, healthy, baby duck," Doctor Sherber grinned. "Remember, Doctor Cullen. If the baby is facing away, what are some tips to get a clearer view of the gender when the head is tilted away, toward the middle?"

He licked his lips and began to tap along my stomach with his fingers, the way he did when playing a piano. Around in a slow circle, tracing down and around where the baby was. Each tap melted my heart. He was communicating with it... With our baby.

It made me smile.

"Doing good, Doctor Cullen... That's it... Go toward the rectum for a new angle..." I watched as he slipped the gooey wand around and tilted his head, pointing toward the screen. Two butt cheeks were now on display. Two cute, tiny, round butt cheeks. I giggled. "Good... Now tilt the wand a little... up more... slant it... There you go. Can you tell what it is?"

My heart stopped, as I stared at the screen. Edward's hand froze.

I couldn't really tell what I was seeing. I wasn't the best at reading the monitors. It just looked like blobs, fading in and out.

"Can you see it, Doctor Cullen?"

He nodded slowly, staring at the screen in disbelief. His green eyes were so wide.

"Would you like to tell your patient what it _is_, Doctor Cullen?" Aubrey teased.

"Yes," he whispered, shaking his head.

My entire body was trembling in anticipation. I couldn't stand it. "Edward?"

He laughed and ran his fingers through his hair, before turning to me.

We stared at each other for a few seconds, his eyes burning into mine.

For a second, I got lost in his eyes, and his open-mouthed, delicate smile.

A calmness washed over me, out of no where.

And suddenly, I knew.

"It's a boy?"

He gave the most amazing smile to date, so dazzling it consumed my heart. He nodded. "Yes..."

"Really?" I choked out.

He nodded again, still grinning that beautiful, breathless smile, "It's Masen..." He chuckled. "Masen... Anthony... Cullen." He pointed to the little thing, flickering in and out, between the butt cheeks. "That's the nub. Quite large all ready... you can tell he's definitely my child."

I exhaled with a smile, and the tears streamed down my face.

Suddenly, Edward jumped out of the seat, leaned over, scooped me up, and hugged me tighter than ever before. Then more tears came down, and I couldn't wipe my smile away, and neither could he. I felt it, against my neck. Along with a wet stream. He was crying too. It brought even _more _salt water, damn him.

I was elated! Completely fine with knowing the results, so happy to finally know. I couldn't think at all, other than the fact that I was happy. _It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy_. That's all I heard as I waited for it to sink in. Nothing quite registered yet.

Edward kissed my cheek a few times and sniffled, wiping his face off on the back of his arm sleeve. "Thank you Bella," he whispered in my ear, squeezing me once again. "Thank you for giving me my little boy. Thank you so, so, so very much."

I smiled and pulled away, so I could wipe the happy tears from his face.

All was better. Perfect, even.

For now.

* * *

**-----------------------------------------**

_3 weeks later._

_Baby Masen: 24 weeks long. (6 months+)_

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**BellaPOV (cont.)**

"Miss Sw- uh... Mrs. Cullen?"

I pushed the button on my intercom, "Yes?"

"Mr. Coleberry would like to see you and Mr. Danvers in his office as soon as possible. Says it's urgent."

I exhaled and bit my lip. If it was a good meeting, he would come to my office. This wouldn't be a good meeting. "Thanks, Margie."

"No problem, Mrs. Cullen."

Like clockwork, Ryan tapped his knuckles on the connecting door to our offices, and slipped inside, "I need a Xanax for this meeting."

My stomach was in knots, and I placed my hand over it, "Do you all ready know what it's about?"

Ryan frowned, "I have an idea."

"What? What is it?"

He crossed his arms over his bright yellow tie and black Armani suit, "I think we're losing _Writer's Market_."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No. That's the rumor going around today."

"Shit," I cursed. "Shit, shit, _shit_. B-But that's my account! That's a million dollar account!"

"I know."

"They can't do this."

"They found a better margin at _Expendential Marketing_."

"Fuck."

"I know," he frowned. "Wish you weren't pregnant. We may have to break out the vodka after this shit."

"Son of a bitch," I cursed, pressing my forehead to the cold wood of my desk. "This isn't happening. Have we lost it, or are we _about _to lose it?"

"Not sure," he shrugged. "Afraid to ask around."

"Dammit, Ryan. What am I going to do? This was my responsibility!"

"Well, Miss Honeymooner and expectant mother to be, you tell me? I don't know, I just work here."

"Don't insult me today Ryan, or I will attach your left testicle to this desk with my stapler gun."

"Well it has been a while since you've _touched _my left testicle, Bella. I might enjoy that."

"Oh, go away!"

"I can't! We're due in the office. May as well say your prayers and get up, because I'm not stepping foot in that office without you."

I whimpered and pushed myself up, grabbing my portfolio and notepad. "I hate this. Off to see the wizard... Screw the brain or the oil can. He's about to tell us to get a new job."

"Bella?"

"What?" I looked up at him.

"Get your jacket. You know how Mr. Colberry is about that."

I twisted around and grabbed it, sliding it over my shoulders, "Thanks. Pregnancy. Absentmindedness."

"Didn't ask. Just try not to show said-absentmindedness when we're facing the big man. Straighten up, woman."

I passed by him, "Don't call me woman. I hate when guys do that. You know this."

"Woman," he chuckled, following me out.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I stormed back into my office, shut my door quietly so people in the inner-office didn't know what happened, then threw my portfolio toward my desk, watching the papers scatter about.

Ryan entered, a few seconds later, to find me seething and storming around the room. "Safe in the warzone, captain?"

"Fuck off, Ryan."

"Uh... Bella... in case you forgot, I was in that meeting too. I have a chunk of my ass missing from where he chewed it out as well, it wasn't just you. Wanna come over here and check it out?"

"Doesn't make me feel any better," I twisted around, glaring at him. "I'm the master on the account. This was more mine than it was yours. My responsibility, my fault! I just lost a million dollar fucking account!"

"I know. I was there."

"So don't tell me to calm down. I just fucking... lost!"

"It happens, Bella."

"Not to me."

"It's life."

"Oh shut the hell up, Ryan. You don't get it, you're not a girl, you're not new here, so just let me fucking bitch it out."

He laughed and plopped down in my chair, re-stacking the papers I messed up, "it isn't like you don't have other accounts. You didn't lose your job or anything."

"Yeah, but now I'm _'frowned upon'. _You heard him! I'm the youngest female representative out here with such high standards and high morals and the highest expectations. He _'expected more from me'. _He said that if I couldn't handle my responsibilities, with everything _'going on in my personal life', _that he'd lessen them! Like he'd be doing me a favor! What a jerk."

"Rumor has it, he's not too thrilled about the sudden pregnancy and marriage. Maybe that's part of it."

"Well that has _nothing _to do with my job. This place is my second home."

"It does have something to do with it, when you're going to doctors appointments monthly, flying to California for a reception, and hauling ass overseas for an elaborate Honeymoon."

"So, what, I can't have a life outside of work? I work my ass of here! I put in overtime every fucking week, I fight with my husband about how much I've been working lately, and what do I get for it? Nothing!"

"Bella, it's one account."

"It was _MY _account. Regardless."

"And you lost _your _account. Move on."

I exhaled and dropped my arms in defeat, "Just get out of my office, Ryan. Leave me be."

He sighed, tossed my now-fixed portfolio to the corner of my desk, stood up, and walked out, shutting my door without a sound.

I plopped in the chair, calmed myself down, and placed my hand over my erratic stomach, "It's okay, Masen," I whispered. "It's going to be okay."

"Mrs. Cullen?" my intercom beeped.

I sighed, "Yes, Margie?"

"Mr. Cullen is on line one."

Swallowing, I looked over at the clock, trying to figure out why he was calling me at work. _Did he know what happened? No there was no way_. I picked up the phone, "Hey Edward."

"Hey." Immediately, I knew something was off. He was upset. His voice was cracked. All my crappy day drama went out the window.

"Everything okay?"

"No. I'm... I'm not. I'm going home. I was wondering if you could..." He cleared his throat, and I heard him sniffling. "I... uh... was just wanting to let you know I'm not at work. So if you needed to get a hold of me, just... call my cell. I'm turning in my pager for the day."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not right now."

_Oh God. Did he get fired? In trouble? Did he get hurt? What happened?! _

"I'm on my way home now. I'm coming to meet you."

"No, Bella, you don't h-"

"No, Edward, it's fine, really. I want to. Just be careful driving and I'll be right there."

"Okay," he exhaled. "I'm sorry. I love you."

"I love you too sweetie."

My nerves were shot as I gathered my things. All I could think about was getting to him and finding out what happened.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I shut my phone and bent forward, tugging the ends of my hair. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't stop my thoughts. All I heard was his voice. All I saw were his tears.

I felt someone sit beside me, but I didn't want to look up. I saw the polka-dotted heels. I knew it was my boss. "Are you all right, Doctor Cullen?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"I want you to know that I'm extremely proud of you. It takes a courageous person to do what you had to do."

"No one should have to do that."

"True, but when it does happen, it's best when it's someone who's honest and caring, like yourself."

I scoffed and shook my head.

"This comes with the job, Doctor Cullen. This is a big city. There are going to be rape victims. There are going to be deaths. There's going to be a lot of unexpected tragedy, and it is _us _who have to stand tall and explain the situations to the family members. We just have to remember that it _is _part of our job, whether we like it or not... and none of us do. Though we're compassionate, we must know how to step outside of ourselves and do our job the best way we possibly can."

"I know. It's hard to do, sometimes."

"It is. Which is why when things go right, the pay-offs are so rewarding, amazing. Do you want to know why I asked you to be in that room with me today, regardless of the outcome? Do you know why I asked you to be the one to finalize?"

I shook my head.

"I asked you in that room with me, because you're the best student I've ever had. And trust me, I've had some good ones. But there's something about your _passion _for this job. For these women, and their babies. You want to help them, make sure they're healthy and happy, and the look on your face every single time a baby is delivered, or when a woman gives you a hug after you've told her her cancer is in remission, or told her she's finally expecting... You're relieved, and ecstatic."

"I remember when I first met you. You were so respectful and all, _'yes ma'am, no ma'am,' _and really wanted to listen and try hard... but I also saw this glint of wit and arrogance. My first thought was, _'Oh boy, he's a lady's man. Am I going to be able to handle him on my team?' _...After a few weeks here, you loosened up, and I noticed how easily people flocked to you. How much they admired you, and you're not even _licensed _yet. You only came with the skills you learned behind a classroom desk, and grew here with what I taught you. The point is, you are intelligent. You found your outlet, and you went for it, no holds barred. You are an amazing learner, and you're going to be a legend here, Doctor Cullen. You already are. I keep you around and let you get away with a lot of crap because I _know, _without a doubt, that when it's time for you to step into a patient's room with me, you're all about making sure that things are getting taken care of the right way. You watch out for me, just as much as I, or any other doctor you're shadowing, look out for you. You're a team-player, Doctor Cullen."

She smiled and rubbed my back comfortingly, "And today... is hard. It's always hard. It's the worse kind of day. But... I asked you to do that, because I knew, that even though it was heart-breaking, that you could handle it. I wanted to see your strength. Because I knew in my heart, once I witnessed it, you'd be complete here..."

I stood up and handed her my pager, "Thank you for allowing me the rest of the day off. I appreciate it."

She patted my hip as I stood in front of her, "Go. Get some rest. Regroup. Remind yourself why you chose and _love _this career so much. It has many moments of beauty and miracle, every single day. You just have to open your eyes wide enough to see them all, especially when times are hard."

Wiping my face, I shook her hand, my voice cracking, "Thank you, Doctor Sherber."

I was never happier to get out of that hospital.

Driving back to the condo, my mind was a complete wreck. I blazed through a red light, thankful that there was no one or no cars on that particular street corner, since I didn't see it in time. All I could hear were shouting and cries of anger, playing in my mind, over and over again.

I couldn't stop wondering what I would do in that position.

Couldn't stop fearing that it may happen to me too.

By the time I burst through my front door, I ran straight into my bathroom, and threw up everything that was in my stomach. I placed my forehead to the toilet seat, praying I could rewind the morning. Maybe I could have done something different if I had known.

"Edward?" The door swung open, and I listened as Bella sat her keys down, the dogs barking. I pulled myself up from the floor, but didn't get to the handle before she burst into the bathroom. One look at me, and she knew something was wrong. "What is it?"

I cleared my throat, flushed, and went over to the sink to wash out my mouth and rinse my face off. She waited patiently, not rushing me, and rubbed soothing circles against my back. She helped me into the living room, and placed a cold wash rag on the back of my neck. But as soon as I held her hands, I couldn't help it.

I lost it.

Ducking my head in shame and guilt, I pushed my face into her lap and started the process of tugging my hair.

She placed her hands over the backs of mine, stilling me momentarily. "Shhh," she whispered, kissing the back of my hands. "I've got you, Edward. I'm here with you. It's okay."

I felt foolish for crying in front of her. I was supposed to be the strong one, the brave one. Not the weak one. I was supposed to be soothing her. I shouldn't even be bringing her more stress. "I'm sorry," I said, wiping my face before I sat up to look at her. "You shouldn't have come home to see me like this. I'm fine."

"Edward," she exhaled, cupping my face in her soft hands and pulling me up, "look at me. I'm your wife. I'm here to help you, just as you help me. We're a team. I want to be there for you."

"It's my fault," I shook my head, looking away from her. "I should have done something to help."

"Nothing is your fault. If it was something that happened at work, then it can't be your fault."

"It had to have been."

"You don't know that."

I growled in frustration, ready to yank out my hair by the fistful.

"...Tell me what happened."

"I shouldn't."

"Edward," she said. "Please."

I looked into her large eyes, searching for strength. But all I thought about was earlier... and it upset me again. "I... lost a patient today. Two of them."

"What do you mean?" she rubbed my cheek. "How?"

"I really don't want to tell you. I don't want to scare you about having this baby."

"You won't, I promise. Please tell me."

My eyes fell to her lap. I couldn't hold it inside if I tried. The words came out like vomit.

"Doctor Anderson wasn't there, so Aubrey asked me to fill in for him and be her second-hand man. No big deal. Our patient came in with her husband, expecting a little girl, their first child. On schedule. Everything was fine at first, she was dilating evenly... Around eight centimeters in, she started to complain about high, sharp, inclusive abdominal pains, chest pains... We kept trying to figure out what was going on and keep her calm, reassuring her it was less than what she thought it was, and then she just started screaming to me, "_It hurts, it hurts, make it stop..." _and by the volume of her screams, I knew it wasn't normal labor pains."

"I started exploring in my head, everything I'd researched, and we quickly came to the conclusion that she was bleeding somehow from the internal abdominal cavity... It's the most dangerous, but it also isn't common, so I couldn't figure out, you know, what to do at first. And Doctor Sherber was just, doing everything in her head. My mind was drawing a blank because I'd never experienced it before. But by that time, she was dilating extremely fast, and we tried to tell her not to push, but she went from eight centimeters to fully dilated in under fifteen minutes, and she was at a hundred percent, so Doctor Sherber knew we wouldn't be able to get her into an E.R. in time for a cesarean, so I had to try and deliver while she was working on her up there..."

"And then the next thing I knew, I saw the head, and I'm talking a ton of blood just came out, right before it appeared, and I knew she was hemorrhaging here as well. I've experienced placenta previa hemorrhaging, but nothing to this extent. I wasn't sure if her uterus ruptured, and I kept trying to get Doctor Sherber's attention, but she was too busy working on the bleed up in her abdomen because she didn't know anything that was happening with the labor. She couldn't even hear me over the other nurses shouting and scattering around. So I'm there, and I have this baby about to come out, and I'm literally touching the head with my fingers and you cannot keep the baby there for a long period of time. You either have to pull it out, have the patient push it out -- which she couldn't, she was in shock and partially numb by this point -- or get the body to suck it back in toward the cavity. I had... blood all over me, nurses begging me, asking me what to do. Tons of fetal distress. They kicked the father out right when this first started, so he's outside screaming and banging on the door out there, and..."

I rubbed my face and felt Bella cradling me tight. I couldn't stop crying.

"She had simultaneous internal and external bleeding. She _did _have the uterine rupture, like I predicted. The myometrial wall was breached. This wasn't a partial, where the placenta was still intact. It was a complete rupture, where all of the contents of the uterus fell into the peritoneal cavity. I had to deliver quickly, using forceps, and then we cleared out, turned the room into a temporary E.R, tried to do blood transfusions. Audrey was working on that with the nurse, and I stayed with the baby, but... she had no respiration, was absent fetal heart activity. She was dead. And three minutes later... so was her mom. I had to call both times of death."

I shook my head.

"Doctor Sherber asked that _I _tell the father. She said he _'trusted me' _and really liked the way I conducted myself throughout the pregnancy -- which was true, we'd gotten along great. He was really kind... I didn't want to be the one, but I knew I didn't have a choice. So, I clean up my arms and I rush out there so he could know, and by this time, all of his family was there with him, thinking we'd fixed everything. I told him everything that happened, what we tried to do to help the situation, how uncommon it was and what may have caused it, so on, so forth, but... by the time I announced their deaths, he just started screaming at me. Started swinging. Andrew and Jonsen had to leave their patients and run down the hall, to help me get him off of me. He kept shouting, _'What would you do if this was your wife?! Your little girl in there?? That's my baby! That's my wife! How could you do this to me?! How could you let them die?! You took them away from me! I hate you, I hate you, you could have done something else, you were wrong, you were an idiot, you stole them from me!'... _And I couldn't cry in front of him. We're not allowed to do that. I eventually got him calmed down enough, and by this time, he was clutching my jacket in his fists... Holding me close to him. So I just reached around and hugged him, and he screamed into my chest and cried, like a little boy hugging his father."

It was silent, as everything sank in, with the both of us.

Cora sat by my leg, her head on the coffee table, looking up at me with sad eyes. Spendor was laying on the back of the couch. Bella pulled me into her arms, and I moved as close as possible to her, and allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to cry it out, until I couldn't anymore. She held me silently, rubbed my back, caressed my hair, kissed the top of my head. I was thankful she was there. That she didn't panic. That she was strong enough for the both of us.

I felt I had to tell her something. Reassure her. "I promise, Bella, I'll never let anything bad happen to you or Masen. I want you to believe me. I'm not a bad doctor, neither is Aubrey. I don't know what happened, but I don't want you to think-"

"Oh, Edward, shhhh, I know baby. These things, they're awful and heartbreaking, and you have every single right to be devastated. I cannot imagine the thoughts that are going on in that mind of yours... worrying about me and this baby. Sad for your patient and the family. But I promise you, you will be fine. We all will. I trust you, so much, and this, today, was _not _your fault. I don't know what God's plan must have been to make you go through such a terrible ordeal, and I know your heart is aching, and that you are angry... But you didn't scare me, Edward. I promise. I love you so much."

"I love you too," I whispered.

She held me a little longer, then kissed my head and wiped my face, before getting up. "I'm going to take the dogs out and make you something to eat. I have to get some groceries first. I just want you to rest, okay?"

"All right."

After Bella went outside, I lay there on the couch, staring up at my ceiling, trying to figure out how to make sure there would be as little stress as possible for her. I didn't want any problems with the pregnancy, nothing after today. I couldn't fathom losing my wife and child. I had to do whatever it took to prevent complications. I had to sacrifice. I had to talk to Doctor Sherber.

I had to make some changes.

**

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**_**** The Next Day ****  
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**RosaliePOV**

"Yo, Rose. Get _up_."

I shook my head and rolled over, pushing my face into the pillows.

"This is the third time I've had to come in here and tell you. We're fucking late. Car's packed, come on, get moving."

"No. I need more sleep," I grumbled.

"You've slept all night."

"More."

"Now."

"MORE."

"Damn it," I felt the covers pulled off of me, and two arms slide beneath me, "so help me God, girl, if you do not get up, I will sling you over my shoulder, and you will be traveling to Forks like this, pink pajamas, messed up hair, no make-up, morning breath and all. Don't make me do it."

I whined when he picked me up and pulled me off of the bed, "Jesus, Jake, it doesn't take _that _long to get back to Forks!"

"I don't care, it's after noon now."

"I hate you!" I whined. "You're cock-blocking me. I was having a dream about Chase Crawford. We were swimming around naked."

"Well tell Chase I'm sorry," he said, pushing me into the shower. "Now, are you going to be able to wash yourself, or do I need to strip you and do that too?"

Instantly my mind went south of the border, "Will you be washing me with your tongue ring?"

He tried to not smile, "No."

"Then I can do it," I said, closing the door between us.

"Then hurry up! I'll be downstairs."

An hour later, once I was showered and fixed up, I jogged down the steps to find Jake sitting on the couch, sunglasses on the top of his head, arms crossed, feet up on the coffee table. He didn't look happy. "You okay?"

"I don't know how on earth it is possible for you to take an hour and..." he paused to look at his watch, "twelve minutes to get ready."

"I couldn't figure out what to wear."

"How is that possible? They're all your clothes. You buy them all."

"It's an important day."

"Oh please, they're still your clothes."

"So! I wanted to look pretty."

He growled and stood up, shoving his hands in his denim pockets. Jeans, belt, and a fitted black t-shirt. Spiky hair, goatee in check... _damn, he was gorgeous._ He looked me over, in my yellow sundress and white sandals. "You look good. But for argument's sake, you would also look gorgeous wearing a trash bag. Can we _please _go?"

"Yes," I nodded, grabbing my bag.

The car ride there was silent at first. He was agitated, and I knew his expressions well, so I just left him be to wallow for a while... but eventually, I couldn't handle the silence anymore. "Are you still mad at me?"

"I'm not angry. I just wish it wouldn't take you so long sometimes. I woke up three hours before you and tried to get you up countless times."

"I'm sorry."

"My dad kept calling me, and you know how he fucking is. He's a dick, Rose. And he's _'taking time off of work' _to see me today, and will probably say I'm being '_unappreciative' _of it because I left so late."

"I said I'm sorry."

"I'm just trying to get you to understand."

"Okay. I understand," I said calmly, reaching over the seat to rub the back of his head. "I'm really sorry Jake."

"It's fine," he replied, finally smiling a little. "Oh, and Alice called my cell looking for you when you were in the shower. She said your phone is dead again."

"It is dead. I wonder why she called."

"Didn't ask."

Thankful there wasn't a center console, I took off my seatbelt and adjusted myself to put my head in his lap, "Do you mind if I put my head here? I'm so tired."

"I don't mind," he said, his fingers finding purchase in my blonde locks. "Go to sleep."

"Thanks, J."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I woke up to hear someone arguing. It was Jake.

Snapping my head up from the seat of the car, I crept over the dash, noticing that, not only were we in Forks, but we were also in front of the police station where his dad works. Billy wasn't supposed to be at work today. Jake stood in front of the car, staring his dad down in his police uniform, seething.

Billy was glaring back, just as viciously, "I don't know what to tell you, Jake. I have a job."

"You took the fucking day off!"

"You didn't show up!"

"I'm a couple of hours late, big deal. Things happen."

"I can't just sit around the house, doing nothing, waiting for my son, who barely comes around as it is when he says he's going to, to drag his ass over here to say _'hello' _for an hour. I'm the chief of police now. It may not mean anything to a big stock market exec in Seattle like yourself, but it means something to the people in this town."

"Jesus fucking Christ, how can you not spare one _day _for me? Did I need to call and make an appointment? Or do I, do I need to get shot or stabbed, in order for you to make time to visit with me? How about murdered? Will you take time from your busy fucking schedule to come and identify my body?"

"I don't think you're being funny, Jacob Black."

"I'm not trying to be funny, dad, I'm trying to figure out how your damn mind works."

"And I'm trying to tell you, I was home for two hours, with no phone call, waiting for you. You don't show, don't call, therefore, I go into work."

"You are such an asshole," Jake scoffed, shaking his head. "Fucking ridiculous."

"Oh, what's the point of it anyway, Jake? You were coming here to take Rosalie to see Renee and me? I get that you're bringing your _'girlfriend' _home, but I've known the damn girl since you've known her, so it's not like I'm meeting her for the first time! I'm not necessarily missing anything, am I? I'm sure she's the exact same girl as she once was. Blonde hair, curvy body, never claims responsibility, secretly desires to be her younger step-sister, and likes to run around with a lot of countless men."

"First of all, keep your fucking voice down. She's asleep in the damn car. Secondly, apparently, after all this time, you don't know her at all. How dare you talk about her like that! She's a beautiful woman, and she _is _my girlfriend, and regardless of if I bring her here to see _you _or not, you _will _show respect for her, or I will beat it out of you..."

Jake kept arguing with him, but I suddenly felt sick. Billy never said those things about me when we were younger. It hurt, hearing it from his mouth.

I mean, I knew he was a dick to Jacob. Always has been. Drinks on the weekends, works every hour during the week. Never had time for him, which is why Jake spent most of his time over at our house. And why Jake resents his father with a passion. And why Jake acts the way he does toward certain people... The list goes on and on.

_Just another prime example of a fucked up parent and the cause and effect it has on their child._

After a few more minutes, Jake must have realized there was no getting to his father. He scoffed, shook his head, and turned away, without saying a word. When he entered the car, he slammed the door, and noticed that I was awake, and heard the conversation.

"I'm sorry," he said. "We're leaving."

"Okay," I nodded.

Reversing the car, he ignored his father trying to say something to him, and spun the car around, splattering gravel at Billy.

He peeled out onto the highway without saying a single word.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

"So, how are you dealing with everything lately?"

Bella shrugged, picking up a loaf of honey wheat bread and throwing it into the cart, "It's hard, some days. Better, other days. But sometimes, it's really hard."

"I've got to say, Bella, I never imagined you to be pregnant anytime soon."

She laughed and shook her head, throwing in some blueberry muffins next, "Me neither. I wasn't one of those girls who imagined marriage and babies since birth."

"I remember," I said, rubbing her back as we perused the isle, "at one point, didn't you say you didn't want kids?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "I knew they'd grow up to resent me."

"Bella you are so full of shit," I laughed. "I'm sorry, but you are. No one resents you. In fact, if anyone should be resenting you, it would fairly be _me_... yet here I am, answering your phone call and canceling my plans with Makin to be here, grocery shopping with you so you wouldn't have to be alone."

"Yeah... Edward normally grocery shops with me, but he's having a rough day, so I thought I'd come by myself... but I hate it, so... therefore, I called you."

I smiled at her, and caught her smiling back. It was a sweet moment. "Well, I'm glad you did."

She rubbed my back, before turning the cart down the frozen food aisle, "just like old times with us... Leaving campus... Grocery shopping every week."

"Yep," I smiled gently. "Just like old times." _Except now we're not flirting and holding hands, walking down the aisles._

"So... how are things going with you? With the whole Alice ordeal?"

I chuckled, "Didn't Edward tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

I paused in the isle, making her pause too, "Alice and I broke up."

She dropped the waffles in front of the cart, "_What_?"

I scooped down to pick them up off the floor and tossed them in, "Yeah. The day after your wedding."

"Why?!"

"She said she couldn't love me... I wasn't what she needed... I deserved better... among many other revelations... including shit about Edward."

Her mouth was hanging open, "But... _wait_... Edward knew about this?"

"Yeah. I called Emmett to check up on Alice, and he told me that he told Edward while ya'll were overseas."

"So Alice has been staying over at Emmett's? I thought she's been staying with _you_."

"Nope. She's over there."

"I cannot believe Edward didn't tell me."

"Maybe he didn't want to spoil your Honeymoon."

"Uh... hello, Jazz. We've been back for nearly two months now."

"Maybe he's been busy," I shrugged.

"Yeah," she scoffed. "Busy keeping secrets."

I shrugged, motioning for us to get out of a lady's way, "It doesn't matter. I mean, it does, and it sucks, but whatever. I'm used to women fucking me over."

Bella paused and glanced sourly at me.

"Not just you."

"Oh," she chuckled sarcastically, pulling a few things out of the next door, "thanks."

I shrugged it off and we continued down to the next aisle, "Let's talk about something else. About you. Tell me the truth. Are you scared of where your life is heading? You know, fighting, together, engaged, pregnant, married, BAM! All at once?"

She nodded, swallowing heavy, "Yes."

"What's the worst part?"

Exhaling, she pulled a few boxes of macaroni and cheese off the shelf, "Dealing with lost time, mostly. The bills, the stress, the planning, the jobs, all that sucks, but just knowing he had this whole life for the past four years... and all these damn women, all fucking beautiful and blonde... I know I'll never be able to get over that. I just have to deal. But he works with this one girl, and I swear Jasper, I want to rip her tits off of her chest."

I laughed, "Why's that?"

"She's a fucking... She's this young, blonde, big-boobed, wide-eyed, pouty mouth fucking.... teenager!" She growled, pretending to strangling something, "I don't know why. She's never done anything cruel to me, besides ignore me at my doctor's appointments and... I _hate _her. I hate her for fucking my husband, mostly. But I hate her for working with him, for getting to be so close to him all the time. It makes me uneasy. I've imagined her staring at him, all googly-eyed and panting... And I thought about having him tell Doctor Sherber that I want a different nurse, but that still wouldn't settle the fact that Aimee works beneath Edward. He's her mentor. And if I were to push her away from our case, then I know she'd probably use that as fuel on the fire to get even closer to him behind my back."

"Do you really think she'll try something?"

"He's Edward Cullen. No offense to any other man on the planet, but I know how women look at my husband. It's really only a matter of time."

"Well, to be fair to him, how do you think he feels about _your _co-worker?"

Bella skidded to a stop, turned, and looked at me like I'd just found out she stole from my wallet.

I chuckled, giving her a nod, "Please Bella. You think I didn't know about you and Ryan? Hello. Colleen."

"I'm going to _kill _her for opening her big fat mouth. Some best friend," she sighed. Her eyes fall on me, and her frown didn't go unnoticed, "I'm so sorry, Jasper."

"I don't even care about that anymore. What I'm asking is, don't you think you're being hypocritical to say that you hate Aimee, when Edward has to deal with you working with a man you had sexual relations with as well? If he said he hated Ryan, you'd be like, '_Oh Edward, you're being ridiculous'_. Right?"

"That's not the point. Women are vicious."

"So are men!"

"Women are worse! I know women. I _am _a woman. Not to ring out sour grapes, but look what I did to you? And why? Because I wanted what I wanted, and there was nothing and no one going to stop me in that moment. I can totally see Aimee doing the same thing."

"So you're worried about karma biting you back?"

"I'm just worried in general."

I threw some paper towels and toilet paper in the cart for her, "Do you think Edward would act on it with her? Really?"

"I don't want him to be in the situation period. But no, I don't think -- I hope not -- I mean, no, I don't think he would." She shivered, "I just... cannot imagine how badly I would freak out if that woman put her hands on my man. I would kill her. It would take every person in the room with me -- if she were lucky to have someone there to defend her, that is -- to yank me off of that bitch."

"I've never known you to be so possessive."

"With Edward? Always."

I smirked, tossing canned foods in, "You're like ninja wife, huh?"

"I swear, I may be pregnant, but it will not stop me from beating someone down."

"You have to think of the baby first, Bella," I tried to reason with her. "Be responsible."

"Trust me. It's _for _our child. I'd much rather kick the women's asses before it comes out, then after, and have my child seeing his mother go to jail for beating their asses. You know? Just get it over with now."

"You don't think Edward wants to kick Ryan's ass?"

She shrugged, "Not really. I mean, yeah, Edward doesn't like the idea of our past, but I think it'd take something powerful for Edward to actually _react _to anything."

"He's been known for his anger spurts."

"I know," she exhaled. "Let's just hope and pray it doesn't get that far."

"Well, if it ever does," I threw my arm around her shoulders, "know that I'm always here for you. We were friends first, and we've been friends for four years now. All right?"

She hugged me back, turning into the magazine isle.

We shopped in a comfortable conversation from that point on, discussing jobs and plans and funny things that's happened to the two of us, like how we had a Halloween party freshman year, and she went as a M&M's candy, and I went as popcorn, and all night, people were trying to tip her over and pour her into me.

We laughed and joked, and everything was great, until we turned the corner to the check-out lane.

The Bella froze solid, staring at an older lady, wearing a scarf around her long blond hair.

"Bella?" she said, the same time I did.

Bella looked like she lost all color. For a moment, I thought she was going to pass out.

Instinctively, my hand reached out toward her stomach, and panic set in. _If she was losing color, was something going on with the baby?_

"Bella, my gosh, is that you?!" the woman stepped forward, eyes wide with excitement.

Both of Bella's hands fell on top of mine, over her stomach, as if she were protecting the baby, "H-Hi, Hello, Miss Jane. How are you?"

"I'm wonderful, Dear," the lady pulled her into a hug, but it was a cold, quick one, "I haven't seen you in some time. How are you?"

"Fine," Bella looked around, "b-busy. Uhm... we're kind of in a-"

"I remember the last time that I saw you was with-"

"Yes, and I'm really sorry, but Jazz and I are running extremely la-"

"Oh my goodness!" the lady covered her mouth, "you're _pregnant_?!"

Bella shivered, her eyes glossing over, her throat tightening, "Yes, I am."

I had a feeling that this was a situation we shouldn't be in, so I began to pile things onto the conveyor belt with record speed, and tossed the cashier my credit card, telling her to charge it up.

The lady named Jane eyed Bella's stomach speculatively, giving me chills, "And... how far long are you, Dear?"

I pulled Bella into me, feeling the urge to protect her, as she tentatively whispered, "I'm ...five months."

"Aren't you just a sneaky little child," she grinned, sneering at her. "True to form."

Bella shivered.

It didn't stop the woman. "And... is _this _the father?" she eyed me suspiciously.

I scoffed. She called me _'this'_. Not _'he'_. She gave me a really bad vibe. I didn't like her emotions. Too curious.

"Bella come on," I said, pulling her toward the front of the register, "Sorry ma'am, we're in a hurry."

"But wait," she said, "We didn't get a chance to catch u-"

I cut her off, politely aggressive, "I'm _sure _you understand. It was good to see you."

As soon as the bags were piled in the cart, I wrapped my arm protectively around my friend, and we pushed ourselves outside. A single tear streamed down Bella's face, and I had to hold her tight to keep her from collapsing.

After pushing the button to unlock the door, she ran for my truck and jumped inside.

I shoved the things in the bed, before climbing into the driver's seat. I waited until we were out of the parking lot before I spoke up, "Who was that, Bella?"

She shook her head, covering her stomach, "You have to take me to Edward, Jasper. _Now_."

"I am, you're okay. Who _was _that?"

"We have to get there," she sobbed, fumbling in her purse for her phone. "Please go faster."

"I'm trying!"

"Hurry!"

"Okay."

"Turn right! Go down that lane! Hurry up!" I watched as her trembling hands clutched the phone, pressing for speed dial one.

She held the phone to her ear, gasping for breath as it rang and rang and rang. "Damn it! Why won't he pick up?"

She started to stare out the back of my rear window, frantic.

"Bella, why won't you tell me who that was?!"

"Just take me home, Jasper!" she cried. "I just want to go home. I just have to go home. Now. Please. Please. Please."

I rubbed her back and made sure no one was at the intersection, before speeding through the stop sign and taking a shortcut back to Edward's condo. We got there as quick as I could move through traffic, and then, almost before I put the truck in park, she took off running inside the condo, checking every direction on the sidewalk, looking for someone that wasn't there.

She was starting to scare me.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Through my half-slumber, I heard the front door slam shut, and the dogs barking. Before I could even open my eyes, hands were on my chest, shaking my body awake.

"Edward, you have to wake up!" Bella sobbed. "NOW."

I shot up off the couch, my heart beating a million times a minute, "What is it, what happened?"

"We have to get out of here, right now! They-he-s-she could have followed us. We have to go right now!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" I stood up, grabbing a hold of her, "Who?"

"Edward we have to go!" she screamed, shaking her head. "We just have to get our things, the most important things, and-and-and... j-ust GET OUT OF HERE!"

"What the hell is going on with you?!"

"We have to go now!"

"Are you hurt?!"

"WE HAVE TO GO!""

"Bella!" I screamed, grabbing her arms. Everything was happening too fast, and my head started to spin. I twisted us around and had to force her to sit on the couch, so I could regain some control of the atmosphere, "Stop! Wait! Calm down for a second! What _happened_?"

She was shivering and sobbing, mascara running down her face, her hands clutched over her stomach. It took a full minute of agonizing waiting for her to finally speak up. And when she did, it was a barely audible whisper, "I was so scared Edward," she whimpered. "All I wanted was for you to be there and protect me, and you w-weren't there, and-."

"Bella, what the fuck happened? Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Is it Masen? Is something wrong with him?"

"No."

"Did Jasper do something?"

She shook her head, wiping her eyes with the back of her arm, smearing her make-up even more, "No."

"Did you get into an accident?"

"N-No," she cried.

"Then what, Baby? _What_?"

She clutched her throat with her hand and shut her eyes, "_Edward_..." Then she started crying, all over again. Harder. Choking and sobbing.

I pulled her off of the couch and picked her up, holding her head to my shoulder, trying to stop the panic attack that wanted to seize my chest. I was seething in anger and I didn't even know what was going on. But something or someone hurt her, and all I knew was that she had been with Jasper. He was my first and only option.

The elevator dinged to our apartment, and he and our bellhop Tommy filed in, bringing the groceries.

I eyed Jasper down until Tommy left, then stormed into the kitchen, "What the hell happened, Jasper?! Why the _fuck _did you return her to me broken?"

Jasper held his hands up in surrender, his face blank and confused, "I don't know what the fuck happened, man! _I _didn't do it. One minute, she was fine and we were laughing, and the next, some woman showed up that gave me the creeps, started interrogating Bella, and she freaked out. That's all I know!"

"What do you mean, _that's all you know_?"

"That's all I fucking know! She wouldn't talk to me!"

Bella started to breakdown, complaining that her stomach was hurting and she was going to be sick, so I sat her on top of the kitchen counter, and cupped her face in my hands, "Bella, look at me. LOOK at me, Bella. Look into my eyes."

She clutched her fingernails to the top of my t-shirt, gasping for breath. Her eyes were jittery as she found mine.

"Stay looking at me. Focus on me. You have to calm down," I said soothingly, "...or you can hurt the baby or yourself. Okay? You're safe. No one is getting in here. All right? Breathe, Baby. I need you to breathe."

I pushed her hair out of way and blew lightly on her face.

She sucked up my air like she would if she were drowning, grasping my wrists by her cheeks.

"Breathe, Baby," I whispered. "You're all right now."

She shook her head, her body rocking, and whispered, "We have to go. We can't stay here. They'll come, that's what happened at my house."

"Okay," I said, rubbing her arms, as Jasper handed me a large glass of ice water for her, "tell me what happened. Who was the woman, Bella?"

She trembled and closed her eyes, "J-Jane."

"And... who is Jane?" I asked, as calm as I possibly could.

Bella looked up at me weakly, hunching her shoulders. She grew numb and dead-like, as she whispered, "She's James's m-mother."

Every single hair on my arms and neck stood up, and I felt myself grow queasy. But I refused to show her that on my face.

"And James never goes far without her," she said dryly. "So... if she was there, that meant that James was there too. I-I'm sure that she saw us leave, saw Jasper's truck. She's some big suit, too, like a detective. They never really told me what she did, but I know she's something like that. She knows what happened between James and I. After it happened, she found where I lived to bring all my stuff over from James's house, though I didn't ask for it. She was… was really bitter. Then she's nice. Then bitter again. Sneaky. And she's gone around town before saying I made it all up. That her son had to fight me off, that I went crazy on him. She'll deny it, but I know she did it. No one else did. No one else knew. I don't know. She's _evil _though. She could have followed us here, or gotten J-Jasper's license plate number. She'll find out where I am. She'll tell him."

Bella shook her head and dropped it down toward my hands in her lap. Then she whimpered with an exhale, "...and then he'll find me again. Just like when James tried to come after me, after everything happened... When he threatened to kill me... She told him where I was..."

"No, Bella, he won't," I said, holding her tight. "James isn't going to find you. He isn't going to do shit. I made sure of it."

"He _will_," she shook her head. "With what happened in Colorado, he will find us, Edward. He has ammo. I _know _he will."

"No," I said, forcing her to look at me, "look at me. I have proof, all right? I didn't tell you because I didn't want to unless it was necessary. But that night, I had the boys in the garage with me for more reasons than to just making sure I didn't kill him. I had them prepare. I had them set up things the night before. Emmett, he hid a video camera on one of the far shelves of the garage, and he got the whole thing on tape. We have him confessing what he did to you, to other women. We have the _whole thing_ on tape. We can use it against him."

"Then you have you kicking his ass on tape too."

"It doesn't matter! His is the greater charge. If something happens and we have to go to court, I may get some jail time over what I did, but it won't be nearly as severe as what he'll get. Okay? We did that to back us up. To back me up"

"You shouldn't have done it Edward," she gasped, pulling on the front of my t-shirt. "You shouldn't have involved yourself, involved your friends. What if he tries to hurt us now? He could come when you're not here, he could hurt me and the baby, and we have to protect the ba-"

"Bella!" I shook her slightly, trying to get her to wake up from this zombie state she was putting herself in, "LISTEN to me. He will NEVER hurt you! Never hurt our baby! He won't get near you, I PROMISE."

"BUT WHAT IF HE DOES?!" she screamed, tears down her face. "WHAT THEN, EDWARD?"

I pulled her closer to me and held her face, looking her dead in the eyes, "Then I will do whatever it takes to keep you protected, Bella. You have my word."

Quivering, Bella leaned in and pressed her forehead to mine. I took a few moments to hold her in silence, to reassure her that I was there for her, to get her to calm down. Rubbed her stomach and her back.

After that, I washed off her face with a cold wash cloth, and told her to go ahead and pack up a bag, while I pulled out my cell phone. Jasper went in there to help her and keep her calm.

"Well, well," Emmett said with a sarcastic laugh that made me want to punch him in his throat, "He remembers how to use his phone."

"Listen, Emmett, now's not the best time for jokes. I need you to do me a favor that is non-negotiable. If you have plans tonight, I need you to cancel them, because I'm bringing Bella to you, and I need you to watch her while I run some errands."

"Uh... she's your wife, not your child. I'm not a babysitter."

"Stop fucking dicking me around, Emmett! This is important. I wouldn't ask you unless it was. Can you just do this for me? You and Alice? I'll explain everything later."

"Yeah, fine, whatever. Bring her over."

"Thanks."

I hung up with him, then dialed for the hospital.

Aimee answered.

"Hey, Aimee, do me a favor. Page Doctor Sherber this code for me, all right? _15-911_. It's important. Tell her I will be there in fifteen minutes, and I need her to get someone to cover the floor for a few moments. All right?"

"Sure, Edward, is everythin-"

"I'll be there shortly," I hung up with her.

Then I called my grandfather Victor, and left him a voicemail telling him to call me immediately.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

I threw on a pair of white jeans and a pink tanktop, and slid across the hard floors with my bare feet, laughing as I did it.

There was something about being in Emmett's house that made me think it was okay to be a kid again. Maybe because it was _Emmett's house_... maybe because he's a kid himself. And he's my friend, so he sort of rubs off on me.

Regardless, I loved it. I could be myself with Emmett. And I was thankful that he was there for me.

Emmett's house... how could I describe it? Definitely a bachelor pad, of course. It was a one-story ranch, with vaulted ceilings throughout. The floor plan was mostly open, with the living room, sitting room, dining room, and kitchen connected together. Cherry cabinetry in the kitchen. Two dramatic fireplaces; one in the living area, one in the master bedroom.

Lots of rich woods. Green and yellow tones. Not crowded with furniture all over the place, but open, and airy. His master bedroom had wood ceilings. Huge walk-in closets. His master bathroom had a wrap-around feel, and the shower didn't even have a door, since it was hidden from the rest of the view. Two guest bedrooms. Three regular baths. Office, studio, his own gym complete with mini basketball court.

You'd think that it'd be covered with sports crap everywhere, but it wasn't at all. Emmett's house was always spotless, unlike his cluttered mind. He has style in his house. Sophistication. Class. Just like his wardrobe, which includes playboy hats, cut-off gloves, preppy sweater vests, scarves, slacks, pressed jeans, collared shirts, multiple types of shoes...

He'll never admit it unless he's drunk, but he dresses like that because he knows it's the sexiest way a woman wants a man to dress. He has a closet about half the size of mine, and that's saying something, for a guy. Again, though, he'd never admit it.

I found him sitting by his island, eating candy corn, wearing dark jeans and a fitting, baby blue t-shirt.

"Hey Em. I'm ready," I hopped on top of the counter beside him.

"Change of plans," he said, setting down the Hustler magazine he was looking at. "No movie. Edward's bringing Bella over."

"You actually _spoke _with him?"

"Yeah. "

"I can't believe he's taking the time to grace us with his presence."

"He's not," Emmett chuckled, "I said, he's bringing _Bella _over."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "He's not staying?"

"Nope."

"Because?"

"Who the fuck knows with Cullen anymore. I think he's still pissed at me."

"For _what_?"

"Just something I said during his Honeymoon."

"What did you say? Is that why he won't answer my calls?"

"I just told him that I got you drunk at my house... and a few other things I'm not going to bring up."

"EMMETT! You know he's over-protective of me!"

"He's not your father, Ally. He's no one's father, yet. He needs to learn that."

"Yeah," I laughed, stealing the bag of his candy, "you be sure to tell him that, because I'm not going to."

"I will."

"Right."

"Give me back my damn corn," he said, jerking me to him.

I fell onto his lap sideways because there wasn't much room between him and the counter. He went to catch me so I didn't tilt and fall off, causing us both to fall down, onto the hard ground beside the barstool. We were laughing so hard, I about peed on him.

And of course, that was when the front door swung open to Emmett's house, with Edward, Bella, and my ex-boyfriend Jasper staring at us. Edward with disgust, Bella with shock, and Jasper with annoyance.

_Awkwarddd_.

Edward kept his arm around Bella as they walked toward us, Edward glaring daggers at the both of us.

We straightened ourselves out, and I avoided eye-contact with Jasper at all costs. Edward wasn't much better, so I chose to look at Bella. She didn't look like she felt too well. I frowned at the thought of that, as she and Edward caressed her stomach at the same time. Soothing circles.

"So," Emmett chuckled, fixing his shirt, "to what do we owe the great pleasure of the three and a half of you ?"

Edward cleared his throat, his face all business, "I have to run into work for something, but..." He looked over at his wife, "Bella isn't feeling so well, and I'd rather not leave her home by herself. I'm sorry, I didn't have anyone else that I could call that I trusted, so if it's a burd-"

"Don't be stupid," Em replied. "Bella isn't a burden. You ignoring our calls is."

"We'll talk about that later," he said, sending a glance at me. "I won't be out long."

Jasper shook Emmett's hand, explained he came to make sure Bella was all right, then looked over at me, sticking his hands in his pockets. I smiled wryly at him.

I missed him, it was true. But I knew what I was doing was for the best for him. He didn't really smile back, but didn't frown either. Just looked at me, like he was in thought. Regardless, we didn't say a word. He did look at Bella though, give her a hug, and told her to call him if she needed him. She kissed his cheek, a quick goodbye, and then he was gone.

As Edward started to walk away, Bella grabbed a hold of his waist, "I don't know about this, Edward, I don't really want to involve anyone else. Not your friends. And I don't want you to leave me."

"Bella," he whispered, so low I could barely hear him without stepping closer, "I'm _never _leaving you again, I promise. I just have to go take care of a few things for us, get you something for your stomach, then I will be right back, all right? I have my phone on me, you can call the hospital if you need to. If anything happens, I can be here in five minutes."

She nodded, pressing her face into his black shirt, "I'm sorry, Edward."

"Shhh, don't be sorry. Nothing is your fault. And I don't want you to worry about anything until something happens, which nothing has. I love you, Baby." He kissed her head, "I'll be back, all right?"

"Yes."

He kissed her lips a few quick times, then turned, saying thanks to Emmett, and heading for the door.

I ran after him, meeting him in the lot besides his Porsche, "Edward, wait up!"

"I can't, I don't have any time."

"You better make time for me, Edward, I'm your best friend."

He twisted around, and I veered back from the anger in his eyes, "Alice, you do not want me to get started right now. All right? I have more important shit to handle."

"More important than your best friend?! I _miss _you Edward."

"You should've thought about that before you hooked up with Emmett."

"WHAT?!" I screeched, jerking him back to me by the crook in his elbow, "Where the hell did that come from?!"

"Emmett told me the whole thing. About you getting high, getting fucking plastered, breaking up with your boyfriend, and making out with him. How _stupid _can you be?"

"First of all," I hissed, putting my hands on my hips, "I remember a few times when you and I got _fucking plastered_, as you so eloquently put it, and did a hell of a lot more than made out those two nights in the cabin! What's the difference between you and Emmett? What makes _you _so God damn special?!"

"I love you!" he shouted. "I take care of you! I _protect _you. Emmett is reckless."

"He's your best friend too! He's a great person on the inside, and you know it! He's been there, for the both of us!"

"That doesn't make him any less reckless when it comes to stupid shit!"

"He was the one that's saved _your _ass countless times! Put some perspective in _your _life! Made it so you didn't end up in the fucking gutter with coke shoved up your nose!"

"This has nothing to do with that! He should have known better. I told him to look after you, not seduce you! He shouldn't have ever put _you _in that position. And you shouldn't have let him _put _you in that position!"

"_You _put me in that position too! No one forced you to shove your tongue in my mouth or over my pants, or put your hands all over me, Edward. No one forced you to lead me on back in that damn cabin!"

"Oh, like you were Miss Innocent in that role! Besides, I thought you said that you lied, that you didn't feel that way about me in the first place, that you were confused?"

I scoffed, leaned against his door, shaking my head, "You really are stupid sometimes, Edward. I lied when I said that I lied about not having feelings for you anymore. Is that what you want to hear? No one gets over feelings that quick. I'm pretty much over it now, but I did the things I did for you, so you can go get your girl. I sacrificed!"

"_Bullshit_, Alice, you wanted Jasper. He was all you ever fucking talked ab-"

"I DIDN'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" I shouted, wiping the tears from my face. "That's all I've ever been, is alone, when you're not around. It's always been me and you, and you know it. And yeah, I liked Jasper. I did. I became infatuated with him, really quick. I didn't want to see Bella hurt him. He was sweet to me, and kind, and wonderful, and charming, and when we got back to Seattle and not in some fantasy land cabin, that's when I realized I'd fuck him up sooner or later, because that's what I do with all men when they find out the truth about me. Jasper deserves better than me. And besides, I how can I love him when I cannot even love myself? It's a daily battle, and I don't have time to pretend that I'm strong enough to carry a relationship when I'm not and I know it."

Edward pushed forward, pinning me between him and the car, glaring down at me, "Then why the fuck would you do that with Emmett, Alice? If you're not wanting to be with anyone, if you claim to _fuck people up_, why would you do that to him?"

"Because he knows about me and he still loves me for me! We're _friends_!"

"And Jasper _doesn't _love you?!"

"I won't let him!"

He scoffed, pulling me off of the car, and toward the grass, releasing me there, "That's your problem. I'm done with this immaturity. I have to go take care of things for my wife and my child, I don't have time for this childish bullshit."

"Childish bullshit?!" I sobbed angrily, so pissed at him that I could choke him, "Great. I see. You're such a fucking hypocrite, you asshole. You don't have time for your best friends, the two that were there for you for every single one of YOUR FUCKING BREAKDOWNS and shit-fits and everything else! You don't have time for _me_? Great. Then _FUCK YOU, Edward_. Remember that the next time you're at the bottom of a bottle, or a fucking ditch again, which you will be, if you shut everyone else out of your life. Just because you're married and having a baby doesn't mean you're suddenly better than us! It doesn't mean you have it all figured out!"

He climbed in his car and slammed the door, before covering his eyes with his sunglasses, "Yeah, well... At least I can say I've progressed better than you."

Then he peeled out, leaving black tread marks onto the pavement, and took off down the street.

My body was shaking so bad that I was close to convulsing. And I won't lie to myself. I wanted a pain release.

I stormed into the house, breezing by a silent Bella that sat folded over on the couch, and grabbed Emmett, pulling him out of Bella's hearing range.

"Thunderstorm," I sobbed my safeword, massaging my covered wrist.

He looked at my hands, then my face, and inhaled, pulling me to his chest, "Come on. It's all right, calm down... Don't let him get to you."

"I hate him right now," I cried into his shirt. "I hate him and I love him and then I hate him some more! How can he be so unfair to me?! I've done so much for him!"

"Edward's... I don't know what's going on with him anymore, Alice. He's changing, and I don't know what to do to get him to make time for his friends and his wife at the same time. We can't expect him to go on living like he did before he hooked back up with her, but _he _can't expect _us _to just sit back and jump up whenever he has time to snap his fingers and hang out again."

"He's such an asshole. Such a stupid, idiotic, _asshole_."

"Alice?"

Emmett and I twisted, to see Bella standing in the hallway, arms over her chest. _I guess she heard me after all._

She sighed, looking quite exhausted and about ready to pass out, "Edward's going through a lot right now. I'm sorry that you two are going through something, and I realize it's none of my business, but... I'm asking you to not take what he's saying to heart. He's just lashing out, and you happened to take the hit this time. So I'm apologizing for him. I know he doesn't mean it."

She just seemed so... numb. As if she'd cried out every single tear, and now there was nothing left.

I couldn't figure out anything to say to her. So I just shrugged and left the hallway, finding something to distract myself from my pain.

I had to find an outlet. I chose crocheting, a hobby I picked up when I decided to quit cutting.

I was working on a baby blanket for Edward and Bella.

_The stupid ass._

* * *

**JacobPOV**

Renee sat beside Rosalie, and passed me more mashed potatoes. I loved her cooking. I secretly wondered if she taught Rosalie how to do it.

She looked much healthier than the last time I saw her... even at Bella's wedding.

She'd gained her weight back in her face. Her eyes seemed to light up when she'd smile again.

She looked healthier. It made me happy.

"So," she said, smiling across the table at me, "Jake, how's work?"

"Fine," I smiled, shoving a spoonful of potatoes in my mouth and chewing. I waited until I swallowed to speak again, "they love me there. I'm a Godsend."

She laughed and shook her head, "Always the arrogant one. What is it with my girls and their cocky men?"

"Trademark," Rosalie teased. "We like guys who put us in our place."

"Actually," Renee said. "I think you, Jake, are the only one I've seen who can actually _put _this little girl in her place."

"I do it with pride, Mom," I teased, loving that Renee doesn't mind me calling her that. "She knows not to mess around with me."

"Oh, whatever," Rosalie scoffed, setting her napkin down on her now-empty plate. "I wouldn't want to ruin your _pride _when I beat your ass."

"Puh-lease," I chuckled, scooping more green beans onto my plate, then shoving them in my mouth. "You're all talk and no show."

"Keep thinking that, joker."

"I will."

"Mmhmm."

"Jacob," Renee laughed, taking a sip of her wine, "I think Rosalie here is calling you out for a match. Think you can take her?"

I stood up from the table and pushed my chair in, before walking around toward an empty space in the living room, "I don't know, Mom. She's not under my insurance policies yet... I may put her in the hospital."

"Whatever!" Rose laughed. "Better take your training wheels off, Jake."

"I will when you remove your training bra."

"Well," Renee giggled, "It's a good thing I have a son-in-law that works at the hospital."

I laughed, throwing my head back, "I'm not hurting her _vagina_, Mom. Well... that's a whole other aspect, all in itself. I won't be doing _that _tonight, anyway. She's pms'ing, so no vagina crunching for me. No need for Cullen."

"JACOB BLACK!" Rosalie and Renee shouted at the same time, causing me to laugh even harder.

Rosalie stood out of her chair and came toward me.

I scooped my girl up and pretended to break her back with my knee, before dropping her and myself lightly down onto the hardwood floor.

She giggled and threw her head back while I tickled her.

"Not such a badass now, are ya, Rose?" I teased.

"Stop it!"

"Ooooh, I've... got to get... over here, on this rib, ...this is where she likes it!!"

"Jacob!" She thrashed around, trying really hard (and really unsuccessful) to get away from me, "quit!"

I turned her body in a circle on the floor, and I thought Renee was going to fall over, she was laughing so hard at us. After I spun Rose's body around a few more times, I climbed to my feet, and went chasing after her stepmother.

Renee screamed and took off toward the back door, "Jacob, no!"

"Oh, you're next!" I shouted, skidding into the kitchen after her.

She ran around to the opposite side of the island and scooped up a fake apple, threatening to throw it at me, "Don't make me do it!"

I took a leisurely step toward her, and she launched the apple at my chest. A quick dodge, and then she realized I was coming after her, and twisted, running around the dining room table, with more apples in her arms.

"That one's gonna cost you, Mom," I declared, cornering her.

"Don't you dare. I've got six more apples. One of them is bound to hit you!"

"I'll take my chances," I said, taking another step closer.

All at once, the apples came flying at me. One hit my chin, while the other hit my stomach. The rest crashed into the hallway behind me.

She covered her mouth, giggling behind her hands.

I growled playfully at her, and then we were off again, running back around the table, down the kitchen step, into the living room again.

Rosalie came after me, intercepting just when I had Renee in my grasp, and jumped on my back. "Come on, Mom. Help me get him!"

"Oh shit!" I shouted, as Renee laughed and jumped at my chest.

Before I knew it, I had two women on me, and I was falling down on the ground, holding onto both of them.

Rosalie started to bite me and poke at my ribs, while Renee messed up my hair.

I was in the center of every man's fantasy that he thinks of, but doesn't dare to speak out loud... The hot mother and the daughter.

_Oh yes, I went there. Give me the grandmother, and let's remake 'The Graduate'. _

_I'll be Dustin Hoffman._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After goofing around, Rose and I did the dishes for Renee and straightened up.

My dad called once.

I ignored the call_. If I'm not worth his time, he's not worth mine._

Now, we were sitting in the living room, watching _'30 Days __of__ Night'_.

It was awesome, but Renee kept squirming in her seat, and I was too busy making fun of her to pay a lot of attention to it. Rosalie had her head in my lap, once again, twirling strands of her long locks around her finger.

Every once in a while, I found myself gazing off at her neck... watching the little freckles... admiring her shape. She was incredible, even though she can be a total pain at times.

I felt very lucky.

_But I'd never say that, because Lord knows this woman did__not need any more ego boosts. _

_Her big hair was full of compliments as it was._

My phone started buzzing on the coffee table, and she growled, turning her head and glaring daggers at me.

"It's not my fault," I scoffed, leaning over her and grabbing it.

"This is supposed to be family time, Jake."

"Like I can predict when my phone's going to ring."

"You shouldn't have brought it inside."

"It's Bella," I said, reading the caller-ID.

Ignoring Rose's reach for my phone, I swatted her hands away, "She's calling my phone, not yours... Hello?"

"Jake?"

"Yeah. Bella?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you whispering? I can barely hear you."

"I'm at Emmett's house, and no one knows I'm calling you, but... Something's happened."

I moved Rosalie off of me and walked out of the room and into the kitchen so I could hear her better, "What do you mean?"

"I mean... I'm really worried something might happen to Edward."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I ran inside the hospital, up the steps, toward the Maternity floor.

As soon as Aimee and Bree saw my face, they both stood up, eyes wide open.

"Did you page her?" I asked Aimee.

"Yes, is everything all right?"

"Is she in her office yet?"

"She'll be heading that way in just a minute," Bree stated. "What's going on?"

"Is Doctor Anderson back in yet?"

"He got here an hour ago," Aimee answered.

"So she can leave?"

"I-I don't know," she shook her head. "What's going o-"

"Tell her I'm going in her office and I'm waiting for her."

"Edward, wait!"

I ignored her, flying down the hall, and entering the empty office.

Pacing back and forth across the office, I contemplated every single thing I had handled on the phone on the way here, and everything else I needed to finish. I didn't have a lot of time, if what Bella was saying was true.

Forty seconds later, Aubrey came blazing into her office, a look of panic across her face, "Where is Bella?"

"She's at Emmett's. I need Bella's file."

"What are you talking about, _she's at Emmett's_?"

"She's at a friend's house, but I need you to give me Bella's medical file right now and come with me."

"Edward," she said warily, using my first name again. "What is going on?"

"Doctor Anderson on duty?"

"Yes."

"Can you spare an hour off the floor?"

"If you tell me what's going on."

I exhaled, still pacing, "I need you to leave with me. I've got to do some important things, and I need you. I need Bella's medical history, and I am not authorized to grab it by myself, so can you just go in there and get it? And we've got to go now."

"You're starting to worry me here. Is Bella all right?"

"She's fine. But I really can't stay here, so we've got to get going."

Aubrey took a long look at me, contemplating the urgency.

Then, without saying a word, she grabbed her purse and her keys off of the desk, and we were heading back toward the front desk. "Aimee," she said, tossing her the keys, "unlock the bottom file cabinet. The secured one. There, yes. Pull out _Swan-Cullen_, please? Now."

Aimee's hands shook as she saw me wipe tears of frustration from my eyes, and struggled to unlock the cabinet. She pulled the file out and handed it to Aubrey.

"Okay," Aubrey said. "I'm leaving with Doctor Cullen, it's an emergency."

She ran over to the nurses station and grabbed a few things. "Do not page me unless the hospital is on fire. Doctor Anderson is in charge until I get back. Page him and let him know, Bree."

She followed me in silence, out to the parking garage, and climbed into the passenger seat.

"I'm sorry I'm mixing you up in this," I said, peeling out onto the street. "But I won't involve you too much. I'm going to talk fast, so please refrain from yelling at me until I finish, all right?"

"Okay..."

"First and foremost, when I was in Colorado, Bella and I thought she was pregnant, but we weren't sure. I forged your name, so that I could get her medical records, and treat her as a patient at the hospital there. That way we could get her tested. I lied to them, told them I was on duty for you, and that her doctor faxed her records to the hospital, and you sent them over to me so that I could draw blood work. But I never read her file. For some reason, I wasn't thinking about it when I did it, because her being pregnant was the only thing on my mind at the time. See, I'm not sure when the exact date was, but Bella had a conflict with an ex-boyfriend when she and I were apart. A serious one. Followed by, what I would presume to be, a breakdown. We haven't yet discussed thoroughly. I know she was rushed to this hospital, but that's about it. I need to know what the extent of the breakdown was, and I need to know if she came in earlier for a sexual assault report."

"Edward, oh my God," she exhaled, opening the file, "what you did was-"

"I _know _what I did," I shouted, passing a large truck, "I'm aware of the consequences. But this ex-boyfriend, James, apparently has discovered that Bella is back in Seattle, and there's a whole lot more to this than what I'm explaining to you right now. But he could seek revenge on me for something I selfishly did to him when I found out what he did to her, and I don't want him anywhere near her or my child. If you just look through that fucking record, then if she filed a sexual assault report, then we'll have all of his information... Address, phone number, everything."

"And why would that help?"

"Because if he's going to try and do something, I need to get to him before he gets to her and Masen."

"You could be paranoid over nothing. This ex, James or whomever, may not be trying to do anything."

"Bella ran into his mother today at the store. She said that she's just as crazy as James is, plus she's a detective of some-sorts. Bella said that Jane helped James track Bella down before. I don't know if James ever told his mother that I fucked him up or not, but regardless, if she saw Bella, and he wants her, then I have to take every possible precaution I can to make sure he doesn't get to her."

"Why didn't you bring Bella in, Edward? This is a major stress factor for her. She could miscarry, she could go into premat-"

"I know that! But if I brought her downtown, then if he's following, I didn't want him to have any open chance of finding her if I turned my back. I took her to Emmett's house because I knew that he would protect her. I've got another guy, Jasper, outside the house, watching out. No one knows he's even there still. I didn't want to take the chance of bringing Bella into town, if I could just grab you and take you to her."

"This is a very serious matter, Edward. How far away is she?"

"We'll be there in two minutes," I said, speeding up. "I realize I could get suspended or fired for what I did, but-"

"We'll talk about that later," she replied, cutting me off. "Right now, Bella is your first priority."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"I'm keeping her calm," I said as we pulled into Emmett's drive. "So don't rush in there panicked. Plus none of my friends know what is going on, so try not to make too big of a scene."

Aubrey grabbed her medical kit and transportable monitor, and followed me into the house. Emmett was standing in the kitchen, across the counter from Bella, who was sitting at the bar, cradling her head in her hands.

Bella startled when I touched her back, and her head popped up, followed by a loud gasp.

"It's just me," I whispered, kissing her cheek. "Come with me for a minute."

She didn't say a word as she looked from me to Aubrey, and followed me down the hall, into Emmett's empty bedroom.

"Hey, Bella," Aubrey said sweetly. "Edward told me you were having a bit of a rough day today, so I wanted to swing by on my lunch break and check up on you. Is that all right?"

Bella nodded, her eyes bouncing from me then back to her.

I plugged in the machine while Aubrey checked Bella's pulse and blood pressure. She said her blood pressure was a little higher than normal, but nothing to worry about. I watched nervously as she continued to check Bella out, then listened to the heartbeats, and finally, ran the ultrasound to make sure that Masen was okay. She monitored them for about fifteen minutes.

Everything came back clear, thankfully, but Bella was still anxious, and it worried all three of us.

"Bella, I understand that you are under a lot of stress right now, with everything going on in your crazy world. But I really need you to try and stay as calm as humanly possible for the next few days. I understand you have a history of anxiety and... other things... But I am prescribing you an SSRI, an extremely gentle dose of Prozac, the bare minimum, to combat the anxiety. I've called it in, and have brought a few with me to get you started. I'll give these to Edward to hang on to for you. Prozac can take a while to start working, so it's safe to take one now, and will discontinue if we need to, no problems. Don't worry about the baby. This medicine has been thoroughly studied, and is safe for pregnancy, There are only mild side effects associated, dry mouth and occasional headaches."

"Okay," Bella whispered to her, before reaching her hand out to me.

I gladly took it and sat beside her on the bed.

The only emotions I could process were guilt over what I'd done to James, thinking I could get away with it so easily, and relief that she and the baby were okay.

Everything was so up in the air. I didn't know which way was up and which was down.

Maybe we _were _over-reacting. Maybe nothing will come of this, and I've wasted Emmett's, Alice's, Jasper's, and Aubrey's night with the insanity.

But when it comes to Bella and this baby, I feel like I have to do _everything_ possible, no matter how crazy it seems.

All I ever wanted was for Bella to be safe... and now, I have Bella _and _Masen to think about.

I've suddenly realized how much I've grown since Bella and I found out she was pregnant... and how reckless I used to be before that... Like fucking him up. I thought it'd make everything better, me doing that to him. I thought that it'd be like I could get revenge for all the women he did that to.

All it seemed to do was make things worse.

Because now, I realized that I didn't get Bella's revenge for her.

...I've possibly put her in danger again.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After about an hour, Edward said he had to leave again, because Jasper needed to go home. It was right after he took a phone call in another room.

I didn't even know Jasper was still there. Maybe he didn't want to let Alice know he was lingering outside the house. Maybe because Edward didn't want Emmett or Alice to know what was going on, unless they had to know.

Doctor Sherber made some phone calls to let the hospital know she was taking an extended break, after asking if it was all right if she hung out with me while he was gone, wanting to keep an eye on the pregnancy, and me, for a while longer.

I didn't mind.

She was very sweet, talking to me about future plans with the baby, and so on.

Edward wasn't gone long. Maybe thirty minutes.

When he came back, he looked both relieved, and flushed, at the same time.

I met him in the living room, where Emmett was talking briefly to Edward, and Alice appeared to be ignoring them all together.

As soon as he saw me, he stopped saying whatever it was to Emmett, and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tighter than he ever had before. His body was shaking. He was clammy, in a cold sweat.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, kissing the side of my face and my neck. "I'm so sorry I've put you through this, Angel."

"It's okay," I said, pushing my face into his chest, "we're going to be all right."

"I cannot believe this has happened. It's all my fault."

"No," I shook my head, jerking back and making him look at me, "Edward! It is not your fault. James is a psycho. There's nothing and no one that can control him. He's fucking insane."

He ran his fingers through his hair and pulled me back, hugging me again.

He acted like he never wanted to let me go. Like he was scared to.

"Bella..." Emmett said, sliding his hand between Edward and I, "why don't you let me talk to Edward for just a moment... I'll bring him right back to you."

I nodded, swallowing hard.

Edward was a little apprehensive about letting me go at first, but after he kissed me all over my face, he finally let up.

My heart clenched for him as I watched them walk into Emmett's bedroom and close the door.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

When Edward returned to the house, he came inside to talk to me, and I could tell he was under a lot of stress.

...And that he was hiding something.

As soon as he touched Bella, I knew something was way wrong. I pulled him away from her, and into my room.

And as quickly as I closed the door, Edward fucking lost it.

He slowly squat to the ground, covering his face with both of his hands. Crying.

Scratching my head, I let him be for a second, trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation. I didn't know what to do for him. I didn't know he was going through anything... I thought he was happy.

When I couldn't figure out what to say, I chose to sit down in front of him on the floor, and just wait it out.

Pat his back, let him know I'm here for him.

He was so angry while he was crying. Tugging his hair, cursing under his breath.

"Edward... what is going on?" I asked calmly, moving closer to him.

"I should have never fucked with Tanya," he said quietly. "None of this would have ever happened."

"What are you talking about? Did you do something again?"

"No," he scoffed. "I meant the first time."

Furrowing my brows, I pondered all the reasons he was going back to that. It happened a long _long _time ago.

I thought they'd moved on by now.

"I'm lost, Buddy," I whispered.

He sniffled and looked up at me, eyes swollen, throat tight.

It hurt me to see him like this.

It'd been a long time, but not long enough.

"What is it?" I whispered. "What happened?"

"Doctor Sherber left Bella's record in my glove box. She must have forgotten about it, but I knew it was in there. So when I went to take Jasper home, I pulled it out and made a copy of it at the Xerox place down the street. And... I found out what happened to Bella."

"What are you talking about, what happened to her?"

He scoffed, rubbing his face vigorously.

I felt really sick to my stomach suddenly, "Edward? _What_?"

He wiped his face with the back of his arm, not getting all the tears coming out.

"Please talk to me," I said. "I hate to see you upset."

He nodded, then shook his head slowly. Spaced out.

"Please," I said again.

Exhaling, Edward cleared his throat, and his dead eyes found mine, "Bella tried to kill herself."

"_What_?!"

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "She was so upset.. The report mentioned something about a journal entry in the form of a suicidal note. MY FUCKING NAME was in it. Saying how she couldn't go on anymore, how she wished I was there to help her... She'd somehow convinced herself in the letter that, if she was under water or something, she'd see me... I don't know, she must have been really fucked up on some crazy shit. She mentioned in the letter about always hearing my voice, always feeling guilty about being with men, how she couldn't do it anymore."

He shook his head angrily, "So... She swallowed a handful of Vicodin and Skelaxin, which are both pain killers and muscle relaxers. She climbed into a freezing ass bathtub full of water and dunked herself under. She said combining the pills would make her physically numb enough not to feel the burning pain of the cold water... That she could go quicker that way... And the last thing she remembers was seeing my face and me reaching out to her... Only it wasn't me. It was Jacob."

He exhaled, hitting the back of his head, "They said two minutes longer and she would have been dead. They brought her in. Pumped her stomach. Suicide watch for two days. They wanted to admit her longer, but Rosalie begged Bella to appoint her as her guardian until she could get a hold on herself."

I leaned back, stunned.

Edward nodded with a deep frown. "You think I had it all figured out? I didn't."

He shook his head, and covered his face, "...I couldn't have been more wrong. I shouldn't have left her, Emmett. I should have never fucking left."

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 30! **

**A/N; PLEASE READ BEFORE REVIEWING:** Okay. I know you guys are nervous about the way this chapter ended. It's quite surprising, in a way, and I realize some of the thoughts/concerns you may have for our Bella. But I want to remind you that her breakdown was a long time ago, and she's come so far from where she was back then. Just as Edward has. Bella was reacting to the combined emotional trauma of her breakup with Edward and the most horrible violation of soul and body anyone can be forced to endure. She lost her way for a while, and her north star had gone a little dim. I ask that you give both of them the benefit of the doubt. and I promise you, the rest will be explained very shortly. Bella's not nuts or unstable or unfit. She's come all the way back and now it's almost like it is coming back to haunt her again...her past rearing it's ugly head to drag her back to that bathtub. She panicked. I am begging you not to. I ask that you give both of them the benefit of the doubt, and I promise you, the rest will be explained very shortly.

**Nobody panic!!  
****Nobody panic!!  
****Nobody panic!!**

* * *

**edit: 2:45am.** Been getting a lot of mixed reviews, which I expected. Wrote a few worried readers individually, but realized I was having the same response to them.  
Since it's making us all anxious, I'll just copy and address the same as a whole:

I know things are HECTIC CRAZY, and I don't blame anyone who takes it in shock value. I know how much this chapter is overloaded. I ask that you bare with me.  
I didn't want to put all the angst together at first, but then I realized that if I drug each individual issue out in multiple chapters, things would feel to be never-ending and unresolved, and I didn't want that for the rest of the story. Plus, all of the characters are just now getting back in the same place together, which is why they're reacting as crazily as they are. It's just a lot for each person individually, so when they get together, it's chaos, bc everyone's walking on e/o's toes trying to figure out what is going on. They've all got their own issues on top of it.  
Edward & Bella both have sunk down in guilt ever since the split. (Bella for kissing Jake. Edward for getting upset about that, and going and doing what he did w/Tanya. The choice to break up for good.) It's a lot, bc so many things they're finding out later happened to both of them separately, and no one wants to see someone they loved hurting, especially when they know it could have all been avoided if they were more mature back when it happened... So I think that's what is going on. But I PROMISE PROMISE _PROMISE _that everything will make sense and smooth over. Again, that's why all the angst is piled up. I didn't want to drag things out longer than I had to, but things needed to be addressed that's been lingering in the background for far too long. I'm just going to say that I understand any frustration and worries. I ask that you please stick with me and the story. :D I hope you will.  
I have a plan! PLEASE TRUST ME!! XOXO ~Angela.

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**-- Commonly asked questions** regarding this story will be featured in the next chapter**. If you have a question you'd like me to answer, regarding TEF or anything else, ask at the bottom of your review. **I will do my best to get it answered, unless it's something regarding an upcoming chapter, which will be revealed in due time!

**-- **Tef has been nominated for more awards. Descriptions/Links at bottom of my profile.

**Reviews are better than a happy (and sly) RobSten at ComicCon!**

_**Yeah, not really, but still?? **_


	31. Mature Progressions

**Chapter Thirty-One: Mature Progressions  
Out with the old, in with the new. Edward and Bella realize that they both over reacted, and figure out a smart way to deal with things.  
A lot of revelations are starting to come out, with all of the characters, as they're all learning to grow up. *tear* Alice finally speaks up, Rosalie figures out what she wants, Emmett steps up to be a good friend, Bella doesn't overreact, nor does Edward... and we have a special guest revisiting!  
Note - **Unfortunately guys, JasperPOV is not in this chapter, but he'll be in the next.** ;)  


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_Special Thanks to_:  
- **My Readers**.... Thank you for keeping me going. For voting, for your support. Everything.  
- **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for your wonderful insight and your suggestions. For staying up with me for long hours, discussing options and plans. For jumping in and staying focused. *hug* I respect you, and your opinions, and I think you're doing a wonderful job!! Plus, for all the (inside) stuff you've let me vent about. I owe you a few Edward's for that!  
**- SuzyQ (Suzi)** for your funnies, and for your coming-soon TEF addition outtake, I'm so excited!! Thank you for cheering me up and making me smile. :D  
- **Rebecca's Mom (Aura)** for my New Moon/Comic Con package!!! You are the sweetest woman. Thank you!! I adore you!  
- To **Twilighted** & **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook members** -- For your constant support and love. I wouldn't feel nearly as complete without any of you.

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**"Covered ground just to reach your house.  
I know we need to talk, but I can't catch my thoughts.  
Insides gripped scared of what you'll think...  
Words I can't repeat, could change all we've got.  
Set it off, someone better hit the alarm.  
Set it off, someone better help me disarm myself.  
I don't want no one else...  
All I want is you.  
All I want is you."**_

_**~ Athlete, "Trading Air"**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-One: Mature Progressions**

**EdwardPOV **

After my breakdown in front of Emmett, I got angry for a time, sending myself on the eighteenth thousandth guilt trip of my life. Of course, that did nothing for me. No matter how badly I wanted to change the past, I couldn't. My rash decision in what I did to James to get Bella's revenge proved that. You can't fight shit that's all ready happened.

I pulled myself together, gaining strength from somewhere in the universe. All I heard was Bella's voice in my head, telling me that we had to be strong, that we could make it through anything. To look how far we've come and grown. I was thankful for it. Now wasn't the time for anger. It was the time to clear my mind and fix shit.

Breaking down did nothing for me but prove me weak. Sure, there was nothing wrong with the occasional bad day, being comforted by someone you loved. And yeah, maybe all of these new revelations hit me out of nowhere, blindsided me all in one day. Yes, maybe I just _Crank_ed out like Jason Statham, reacted with the first action to occur to me. I fucking ran with it until I was ragged, in stead of thinking things through.

I know that I can handle pressure. I normally thrive on it, to be honest. It keeps me respectful. Motivated. .

But when the punches are coming from all angles, and you find yourself knocked out cold on the ground, you realize just how important a helmet was in the first place. I wasn't using my brain. I reacted poorly, stirred everything up, involved people I shouldn't have, and basically, had a mid-life crisis. And I'm going on twenty-three fucking years old. _Senseless_.

When I finally took a second to calm down and evaluate the situation with even the slightest amount of comprehension, I realized that, not only was Bella safe from harm at this moment, but my over-reacting set everything haywire. I know, everyone that knows me knows, that I'm not happy with the choices I've made in life. Aside from the past four years of random idiotic shit, I realize that fucking James up wasn't the best way to deal with the situation. Yes, it felt good when it did. Damn good. But I never thought that he'd resurface... and I should have taken that into consideration. Prepared myself.

The sad thing about all of this though? He _hasn't _resurfaced. His mother has.

As I stopped to consider Jane, I couldn't help but reassure myself. Though I'm not sure just what she wanted or had to do with anything, I do know that if she fucks with my wife or my son, I will kill her, and fucking smile doing it. Overreacting? Perhaps. Regardless, nothing's happened, and I can't go running around town like a chicken with it's head cut off, chasing ghosts.

No one has done shit. And if they haven't done shit, then neither will I. I'm not going to wake up the dead.

And once I realized this, I noticed that I needed to wake the hell up, grow some damn balls, and handle my business.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Emmett let us borrow his seafoam green, 1967 Shelby Mustang Eleanor, so we didn't have to panic about going into town and being seen. That was saying something, considering Emmett hardly lets anyone touch the outside of the car, let alone sit inside of it or take it anywhere. This thing has been his project since he turned fifteen years old. Everything on it, he's practically done himself. It's his pride and joy.

We dropped Doctor Sherber off at the hospital, and then I swung by KFC to get Bella something to eat. Bella and I were lost in our own thoughts, barely speaking to each other. I didn't like it. Silence wasn't good for either of us right now. I just didn't know how to start talking about this. I didn't want to stress her out anymore than I had to.

As we sat at the red light, I turned the left signal on. She stared at the dash for a minute, trying to figure out why we weren't going to Emmett's. I didn't say anything,

Pulling around the lake, I parked the car, and stared out toward the midnight water. The moon barely showed it's face against the murky cloud coverage. If it weren't for the lights on the stereo, we would be sitting in complete darkness.

I waited for a few moments, watching Bella pick at her food. I knew she was hungry. I needed to clear her thoughts for a minute, so that she would eat.

Taking a deep breath, I cleared my throat and looked down toward my hands in my lap. "Bella," I said hoarsely, my throat raw from all the emotions of the day. "I fucked up."

She nodded, then shrugged her shoulders, "...I think we both did."

"And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. I shouldn't have panicked."

"No, Edward," she shook her head. "I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I was so happy when we found out about Masen, even with all my stupid mood swings this past month. It took this weight off of my shoulders to know that I was giving you what you wanted -- a son. I mean, I know that you said you'd be happy either way, and I believe you, but I knew how badly you wanted him. It was as if God answered my prayers, that this was proof that things were going to be perfect for us... But I should've known. Anytime you think _'perfect'_, it usually turns bad pretty fast."

"I would have been happy with a girl, Bella," I sighed quietly. "I am sorry that you felt pressure about it. I realize it wasn't something that was my fault, or yours. We were who we had to talk to about this. We were the ones going through it. Of course I'd let you know my thoughts, just as I wanted you to tell me yours. It's just..."

I rubbed my face and shook my head, "My dad was never around. He worked all the time. It was my mom and I, which is fine, because I'm a mama's boy, and I can admit that. But with my dad, I felt like I constantly had to impress him. To show him that his hard work and long hours paid off. Every time we talk, it's always about _'the next step' _or _'what's best for my future'. _It's never been just a '_Hey son, just wanted to call you and tell you that I loved you'_. Never. And I don't want that this time around. I want to do it right. It's crazy, because you cannot predict your child's personality, but I really felt that if I had a son, I could do all of the things that my dad missed out on. Actually show up for his baseball games. Go to PTA's instead of sending a friend to go with your wife. Help him with his homework, teach him to how to play the piano or write a song... Tuck him in at night. I wanted... to be that dad that other boys wanted. The dad that isn't afraid to kiss his son or tell him he loves him."

I scoffed, "Did you know that, out of all of my friends, Paul is the only one that I know that has a dad that tells him he loves him when he calls? None of the other's does. Mine rarely does. I just... I want better for my kid. I know it's stupid, but I really just want to be the person who is much happier playing with his four year old in the little sandbox, then the guy who pushes his child away from him because he feels awkward about hugging him in public. I want my son to know that he's loved more than anything in this entire world. I want him, and any other child I have, to grow up watching their mother and father embrace and hug and touch, and know that it's okay to do that. That it's okay to express feelings and love someone freely. And... That was my first thought when you told me you thought you were pregnant that night in the bathroom. It wasn't a complete panic attack. I was frozen in place because of that image filling my every thought, of all I could change this time around. Which was why I didn't panic when you told me. Which is why I've never panicked over this baby, no matter how young we are, or whatever else. This, my life with you, this life that we're building, is all I've ever wanted."

I didn't know she was crying, until she sniffled and wiped her face. I removed my seatbelt and leaned over, pulling her toward me so that we could hug.

"I want that too," she whispered into my chest. "I lost both of my dads, and I didn't get a chance to love them as much as I wanted. I don't want Masen to grow up without his father. We need you around, Edward. You can't go off to jail for what happened with James. We need to figure all of this out, so that we can see all these things through, because a life without you is _not _a life I'll be able to survive. I've done that, I've suffered through that, and I won't be able to do that again."

"I know," I whispered, pages from her medical report flashing through my head. I pushed those thoughts quickly aside. I shouldn't be thinking about that. That person isn't who I married. She's a ghost, just as I was when we were apart. Besides, if Bella ever had a look at my medical records, I'm sure that she wouldn't even have chosen to marry me. Neither of us are who we were then.

She pulled away and shook her head, "I reacted so stupidly about Jane. I shouldn't have. But something inside my mind said, _'protect Masen'. _I wasn't thinking about myself or you. All I could think about was that I was his mother, and I had to get away. I couldn't let her or James find me, because that meant they'd find Masen. It's really crazy, how my focus isn't about me and you as much as it is for him. Well, I mean, yeah it is, but it's not. I'm not making sense. I love you just as much as I always have, even more, every day. But now, it feels like my brain and my heart grew, and now I love this other little person, just as much, and my focus is him before myself. I used to be afraid of a lot things, like death and whatever, but now... knowing we have someone that is both you and me... if he were here and was okay, I'd be fine leaving the world, because I knew he'd go on living. That's all I want, is for him to be safe. For you to be here, and for him to be safe."

"He will baby," I kissed the side of her head. "He will, and you will, and so will I. We just have to stop overreacting to every little detail. I know this is all new for us, and we're doing all of this out of order. I know how people say a 'life' is supposed to go. Meet a girl, grow up, get a good job, stable life, get engaged, move in together, get married, then have a baby. None of this is happening that way. It rarely does. But then we have all this other shit on top of it, and... I want you to know Bella. I would never change my life. Never pick it apart. It is what it is, and I got the girl, and I have this baby on the way, and I'm going to make it work because it's all I've ever dreamed about having. I'm not going to waste it just because shit didn't go in the order some person said it should go. We both have grown a lot, but we're not done. We have to be mature, and we can't spazz out over something that hasn't happened yet, and things we cannot control."

"I know," she nodded, pulling away and taking a sip of her coke and finally eating a piece of her chicken, "and I agree. But what do we do?"

"We take a step back. We do what we need to protect us," I leaned over and rested both of my hands over my son, now resting safely inside her beautiful stomach, "and we wait to see what happens. We figure out what we can control now, together, and deal with everything else when it comes around... _if _it comes around."

She smiled and leaned over to me, kissing me on my lips. Of course, I put everything I had into the kiss, but when we pulled away, I shuddered, "Fucking greasy, nasty ass chicken taste."

She laughed for the first time that night, and made a big show of licking her lips before saying, "Mmmm, yummy grease."

I couldn't help but laugh too. It felt good to finally see that.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The next morning, I opened my eyes to find myself still in Emmett's bedroom, with Bella held tightly in my arms, and Emmett on the other side of her, and Alice behind him. Emmett and I were getting along much better. I left the whole 'seduction thing' alone for the night. It wasn't nearly as important. Alice, on the other hand, didn't say anything to me, but she wasn't rude either. She spent most of her time talking to Bella.

Not only did Emmett allow us stay here at his house, and use his bedroom for the night, but also he stayed in the room with me, as a precaution for security. Of course, nothing happened. But it was just another example of how good of a friend he was to me when it boiled down to it.

Avoiding stirring my wife, I reached over and woke him up, told him I had to go the airport, that I'd be back shortly, and to watch out for her. He nodded and threw his arm over her waist.

I quickly redressed, brushed my teeth, grabbed a cup of coffee, and was out the door.

It only took ten minutes to get to the airport. That's what was so great about Emmett's house. He lived in a nice neighborhood on the very edge of town, close enough for everything in a mere walking distance, but far enough away from all the hustle and bustle. It's what I wanted, for Bella and I.

What I was _going _to get. But _better_.

As I waited at the arrival gate, I paced a little, and called Aubrey. She picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

"Doc-" she cut herself off, exhaling, "_Edward_... -- Gonna take me a while to start using that one -- I was waiting on your call. How's Bella feeling?"

"She's doing good. After we dropped you off, I took her to get a bite to eat and we stopped by the lake to take a second to breathe. We didn't discuss too much, other than the fact that we both over-reacted to things that might not be as bad as we originally thought... then we sort of dropped it for the night, and we went back to Em's, and chilled out, just relaxed. I didn't want to stress her out too much with a big conversation concerning all my thoughts. I felt I'd just it rest for the night, sleep on it, regain some strength, and talk to her later today when she wakes up. Collected and calm."

"That's the best way to proceed, I think. Keep her flowing normally. No added stress. Baby Masen can't take that."

"Yeah. I realize I'm calling you at home, and that it's early, and I'm sorry for that. I just wanted to say thank you for hanging out last night and watching over her, and to tell you how sorry I am for all the hell I've caused you. I know you said we'd talk about it at a later time, but... I'm really, extremely sorry, Doctor Sherber. I feel horrible for what I've done, and I know it doesn't excuse any of it, but... I just hope that when you decide what you're going to do with me and my position, that you take into account that I did what I felt I had to do for her. When it comes to Bella, there is no one else that is in focus. I don't care about anything else. I just think _her, fix, now_, and that's basically it. _No matter what it costs, just fix her_. I don't realize what I do until after it's done, and sometimes, I wind up regretting my decisions. But I am learning. That's all I can really say, other than I'm sorry I've lost your trust. I... guess I wasn't as good as you thought I was, after all."

She lingered in silence for a few minutes, and if it weren't for her slow breaths, I would have thought she hung up on me. But I didn't rush her. I knew I just piled a ton of shit on her back, and that it wasn't fair to her. I couldn't expect her to just snap her fingers and say, _'Poof, all is forgiven_.'

I wouldn't even _consider _expecting that.

Exhaling loudly, she cleared her throat, "You're right. You're not exactly what I predicted you to be. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything for you, Edward. I am disappointed that you felt you couldn't have come me before you reacted the way you did. I honestly believe in my heart that if you would have called me when you were in Colorado and explained the situation, I would have signed my own damn records and fax them over to you. You wouldn't have had to forge my name. I realize that I'm tough on you, just like all other interns and understaff, but I do that because I want you to _learn_. And what can you learn if all you do is weave around the rules and find your own way? Which was, in this case, incorrect and _highly _unethical? Nothing."

"I understand," I frowned.

"I really don't know where to go from here, which is why I'm contemplating action. With any other intern, I'd say either banishment or an expanse suspension. The problem is, I like you. You know I like you. So, for now, I'm going to tell you again... We'll discuss your career path at a later time. When my mind is better prepared to handle this situation. Because no matter how much I like you, I still have to do my job. And I don't want you to think that if I let you off with a slap on the wrist, that it will be okay to go behind my back in the future. I'm going to tell you straight-up, Edward. I love my patients. I love my staff. But it's still my job, and when you scoot under my feet and do something sneaky, I will stomp on your head. I don't play into any of that. Are we clear?"

"Yes ma'am."

"All right. Now, make sure to give Bella plenty of extra water today. Hydration and rest are key after a stressful event. Keep her feet elevated, make sure no one around her wears her out, and tell her that if she has any problems, to call my cell phone. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Call me if you need me."

"I will, Doctor Sherber. Thank you."

"And Edward?"

"Yes?"

"If I can muster up the willpower to actually call you by your first name outside of work, then I suppose you should address me by mine as well."

I smirked and shook my head, "Sounds good, Aubrey."

"Okay," I heard her smile on the phone. "Talk to you soon."

"Alright, bye."

As soon as I hung up, I saw a man wearing jeans and a collared shirt, coming my way, with a sideways grin and messy hair that matched mine. A sense of relief washed over me, as I opened my arms, and my grandfather slid in them, laughing and patting me on the back, "How's my boy?"

"Much better, now that you're here," I said, rubbing his back and helping him with his luggage, "I am so glad you could make it."

"Please," he smirked as we walked through the doors, toward the parking lot, "you call, I come. It's that simple. You know you're most important to me."

I grinned. That's the one thing I loved the most about him. Whether or not my father was there for me as much as I wanted and needed, I knew my grandfather always would be. "I'm glad I can count on you."

"Always," Victor said. "Ahh, it feels good to stretch out my legs. You know how much I hate cramped airplanes. The things I do for my grandson, flying first class instead of taking my own jet. You better feel fucking privileged, ya here?"

"I do, I do," I laughed. "Besides, you're not that much older than me! You had Dad young, he had me young. Hell, you still look like you're in your forties."

"Ha!" He threw his head back, grinning, "The young stewardess on the plan thought so... but my back and my knees don't seem to agree when I wake up in the morning."

"Young stewardess?" I smirked and threw his things in my trunk, "See? Bella tells me I have an _'arrogance problem'_. I guess I get it from you."

He grinned, "At least you have the equipment to back it up. Comes with the Cullen genes."

"That must be it," I teased. "You're a prick, I can't believe you! Fucking a young girl on a plane."

"Please, like you never did it. I remember when you and I flew to Alaska for winter vac-"

"I never fucked her!" I said, as we climbed in the car. "I swear, I didn't. I was good."

"Mmhmm. That's what she told her friends as we got off the plane too."

"Oh come on! You're such a liar!"

He grinned and adjusted his sunglasses, "You're right. But it would have been funny."

"Yeah. So _you _say."

He chuckled, "_I _would have done it. She was over eighteen. It wasn't illegal."

"Victor," I sighed. "You haven't changed one damn bit."

"That's why you love me. Now stop your fucking cussing before I wash out your mouth with soap."

I turned over and looked at him, a look of fake astonishment on my face.

He smirked, sticking in a piece of gum in his mouth, "Just kidding."

I loved this man. He made me feel so much better, all ready.

"Now," he said, taking charge. "Here's what we're going to do. No more sulkiness, and I don't want any more tearful phone calls -- not that you can't talk to me when you're upset, because you know you can -- all right? We're going to fix this shit. We're going to have fun. So cheer the hell up. You're with me now. And Victor's got you covered."

I _really _loved this man.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Let me just say this right off of the bat: I love my friend.

Despite our spats, Edward's been my boy for years, buddies through thick and thin.

But since he's not here, and ignoring the whole his fetus being in her belly issue, I would just like to add... Waking up and having Bella being wrapped up inside of my arms is the best fucking feeling ever. Morning wood aside that she accidentally rubbed into once, she just smells so fucking _delicious_. I swear, my mouth was watering thinking about it... If she was anyone else's girl but Edward's, I would be all over her shit right now. Like white on rice. Like jelly on bread. She would be mine.

_Oh well. At least I can fantasize._

"Emmett," a nagging voice grumbled as a face was pushed into my back, reminding me that she and I weren't the only ones in this bed, "you're breathing awfully hard over there. What are you doing?"

"Hush it, Al, you're ruining my Bella fantasy," I whispered back.

"You better not be jerking off into her cashmere sweater or anything equally disgusting."

"Shhhhhhhhh," I pressed, motioning for her to go away with my free hand.

"Edward would love to know you're dreaming about boinking his pregnant wife."

"Ahh, but look at it this way, I'd be taking her off of his hands for y-"

She nudged me hard, cutting me off, "Don't _even _say it. I told you, I'm over that."

"'K," I choked, moving my arm slowly from beneath Bella's sleeping frame, "I won't."

She slapped me upside my head as I climbed over her, and I grabbed her arm and yanked her off of the bed, smirking as she fell off, onto my hard floors.

"Damn it, Emmett," she hissed, trying not to wake up Bella, while she rubbed her hip. "That hurt!"

"That's what you get, you friend abuser."

"Well, you should watch your damn mouth around me!"

"And you shouldn't be so damn defensive!"

"And you should get a life!"

"And you should eat a penis!"

She laid on her back and blew her hair out of her face, staring up at my ceiling, "I'm thinking about turning lesbo. Fuck the men."

"Yeah? The short haircut is a good place to start," I teased.

"I'm growing my hair out."

"Then the butchy ones will come after you then."

Alice rolled her eyes, "Men are too complicated."

I ignored her, "And it'd be hot to watch you sliding your tongue across some other chicks nipple."

"And they're so irritating when they don't make any fucking sense," she continued, ignoring me too.

"And you going down on someone? It may make my whole life."

She turned her head and looked up at me, turning her voice cute and innocent, "Emmmmmm.... Will you pretty please make me some eggs?"

"If you get your lazy ass up, I'll think about it."

She reached out her hand, batting her lashes.

Exhaling in annoyance, I walked over and pulled her up. "You're such a damn baby."

"I know."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"So," Alice said, mixing her scrambled eggs up in ketchup, "Long night, huh?"

"Yep. Tell me what the hell you and Edward were talking about."

She sighed and shook her head, staring down at her plate, "We weren't so much as talking as we were fighting."

"Why?"

"Because... I haven't seen him in five weeks, I haven't been able to know what is going on with him... All I knew was what I didn't know, and I was angry for not knowing, angry that he was shutting me out of his life. I understand he's married and has a baby and a job and more responsibilities. But he has to understand that I've been with him practically since I was born, and it's always been me and him facing the world, even when we were in high school and he and Bella were together. He'd still make time for me, still have _Alice and Edward only_ days... He can't expect me to go from number one to number three with pure ease and comfort. Yes, I'm willing to do it, because I understand why Bella and the baby come first. That's not even a question. But he has to show that he's still wanting me to be somewhere on his list of priorities, and he hasn't. No phone calls. No texts. Nothing. Hasta la vista, best friend. You've been dutifully replaced."

"Come on, Edward never said that."

"Five _weeks _Emmett. That's what he's doing, even if he's not saying it."

"You need to talk to him."

"He doesn't want to listen."

"You don't either!"

"Whatever."

"You need to be honest with him, Alice. No bullshit. No more."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't," I scoffed. "I've never been blind. I may be idiotic with girls, but not when it comes to you. I've known you almost as long as Edward has, and in case you forgot, I was there with the two of you, too. We're the three amigos, and he knows that just as you and I do. Point is; I'm not blind. I knew how you felt, I know how you feel now, and I know what you're dealing with."

She shook her head, "I'm fine."

"You're in denial. I love you to death, but you need to wake up and face this shit."

"Emmett, let's just not talk about this. You don't know what I'm feeling. You're not me."

"Alice. I'm going to tell Edward that you told me what happened. It may not be today, but he will know that I know."

"Why? I told you in private! Why would you tell him that you know?"

"Because! Someone has to get you to talk about this shit! And if it's not you, then it's going to be me."

"No!"'

"Yes!"

"Emmett, no!"

"A-"

The front door swung open, and Edward and his very young looking grandfather walked in, lugging bags. I motioned for her to hold on for a minute, and ran over to help them with Victor's stuff.

"Thanks, McCarty," Victor laughed, slapping me on the back. "Nice house you've got here."

"It works for me," I smirked, pushing his stuff into a spare bedroom, "Make yourself comfortable."

"We can't stay long," Edward said as I met him in the hall. "Got more errands to run. I Just wanted to drop his stuff off and check on Bella."

"She's still asleep."

He nodded, and I followed him into the bedroom.

Bella was on her side, crashed out, curled up into the fetal position, hugging a pillow that stretched across her swollen chest and between her legs. _I was never washing the damn pillow again_.

"Hey my angel," Edward whispered, rubbing her stomach and kissing the side of her head. "Love you."

She stirred a bit, nuzzling into a pillow.

He smiled gently and then moved down, kissing the side of her stomach, "Love you too."

I watched in silence as he rubbed it for a few more moments, then slid his hand up to her wrist, and started watching his watch.

"Are you checking her pulse?"

He nodded.

"Edward, you worry too much."

He stayed silent, until he apparently found what he was looking for, then kissed her face a few more times, and left the room without another word.

"What time do you think you're going to be back?"

"Not too long. I've got my cell. Call me if you need anything."

"All right, see ya."

He closed the door behind him and Victor, without saying anything to Alice.

I glared at her as I walked back into the kitchen, "You two need to grow up."

"Like you're one to talk."

"Please. I have spats with my friends, yes. But I don't do this whole high school bullshit. I may freak out, but then I recognize my responsibilities, and I make it right. You on the other hand... You and Edward are two peas in a damn pod."

"Which is why when we fight, it sucks."

"Which is why, again, you both need to grow up."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

As soon as I woke up, I slipped on some boxers, brushed my teeth, and strolled my happy ass into Renee's kitchen, searching for the delciious smell that sparked the interest of my nose.

Sausage biscuits and gravy, and a mountain of eggs. Couldn't go wrong there.

My morning was quickly ruined when I found my father, dressed in his police uniform, gun fastened in the strap, eating at the counter, while Renee stood on the opposite side drinking coffee, and Rosalie was in booty shorts and a tank top cooking.

Eying my father down, I walked behind Rosalie to cover her ass, which he appeared to be ogling. He smirked and looked at his food.

Scoffing, I shook my head and turned around, to give her a kiss on her neck.

"Mornin'," she said, too cheery for a weekday. "Want some?"

"I always want some but I don't think you're-"

"I meant breakfast."

"I know," I grinned, nudging her playfully. "Get your mind out of the gutter. Yes, I'd love some. Thanks."

"No problem. Take a seat, I'll make it for you."

After giving Renee a quick hug, I rounded the counter and took a seat next to my dad. He took another look at me, then shook his head, face disapproving.

"Good morning to you too," I muttered.

"It's almost eleven."

"And?"

"It's not really morning anymore, Jacob."

Ignoring him, I took a drink of the coffee that Renee graciously poured for me.

I winked at her, and she winked back. "Thanks mom."

"Welcome baby. Bella called for you about an hour ago."

"Okay."

"What does she want, anyway?" Rose asked as she placed a full plate in front of me.

"None of your business," I said jokingly. "She wants you to know, she'll call you."

"Or you can just tell me."

"Nice try."

"Ugh, Jake, you know I hate secrets."

"They're not all lies."

"Stop avoiding and tell me."

"Nothing for you to worry your pretty head about. Just friend stuff."

"I'm a friend!"

"Rose," I laughed, swallowing a piece of my food, "I swear, it's nothing. Don't worry about it."

She walked away, muttering, "I should have spit in your eggs."

"Still woulda ate it."

"And stomped on your sausage."

"Mmm," I called out, "Love it when you're _feisty _in the mornings."

Dad scoffed, sipping his coffee, "You haven't changed one bit. Cat calling still, I see."

"I don't have to cat call, Father," I slapped his back, much too hard. "I get laid. There's a difference. You should try it sometime."

"Some of us have responsibilities."

"Ohhh, we all have responsibilities," I replied. "Some just know how to handle it in large quantities and still give themselves the chance to have fun, while others... just shut down, become robotic, cruel, and bitter."

"I hope you're not referring to me."

"I most certainly am."

"One of these days, someone is going to straighten you out young man. I see a rude awakening coming your way."

"There's nothing wrong with me or my life, besides my absent, cold-hearted father. I'm sure my mother rolls in her gave every single time she sees the way you look at me, acting all high and mighty. With all due respect to Renee, but if things didn't happen that we cannot control, you'd be just another shadow behind a different, more respectable police chief's shoulder."

He shook his head and stood up from the chair, leaving his shit on the counter, "Renee, thank you for breakfast. I can see I am no longer welcome."

I waved bye to him as he walked out, and no one said a word. Both girls knew he was an ass.

Then Renee slapped me on the head playfully with a dish towel, "You need to not let him get to you, Jake. He does it because he can. He's not like that with anybody else."

"The man is a disgrace."

"He doesn't know how to handle you."

"Yeah, well, that's because he was never around. If I didn't have you to look after me most of those years, I'd be laying in a gutter somewhere."

"Well, you know I didn't mind one bit, so don't ever doubt yourself. You're a good man. I see the potential in you. Look at all you've accomplished."

I smiled genuinely at her, "Thanks."

"Besides," she sighed, washing the dishes. "You may be hot-headed and stubborn, but I know when a person is loving or not. Passionate. Respectable. And you, Jacob, are all of those things. So don't let anyone or anything make you believe different, do you understand me?"

"Yes mom."

"Okay. Eat up."

"Okay. Rose, you coming to eat?"

"Yeah, give me a second! Jesus, Black!"

I smirked at Renee.

She returned it.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

"Hey, Alice," Bella's scratch voice sounded, as she came out on Emmett's back porch.

"Hey."

"What are you doing out here?"

"Just thinking. Drinking some tea. Want some?"

"No, not yet. Thanks though."

"Did you sleep ok?"

She snickered and nodded, closing her eyes to let the sun hit her face, "I felt protected, to say the least, thanks to the three of you, along with Edward's concern."

"I only went there because Emmett has the best bed."

"It _was _comfortable."

"Yes."

"So Jasper told me that you and him called it quits."

I nodded, picking at the hem of my shirt, "We did. Well, I did. He sort of agreed."

She looked over at me, squinting, "What happened?"

I shrugged, "Circumstances were all against us. I love him. I _really _do. I'm happy with what we shared, and I'll never forget it. But... I feel really lost right now, and there's no sense in dragging him through a maze where I don't even know how to find my own way out yet."

"Maybe you two could find a way out together? He's a good guy, Alice. I know he grew feelings for you."

"I know he did," I sighed. "But the problem is, we rushed into things. Just as Emmett and Rosalie did. The cabin, the setting, the comforts, the escape from real life... all that fell into place, creating this wonderful fantasy for all of us. But the truth is, real life comes back, and nothing seems to work as well. The fantasy lets you down."

"It doesn't have to."

"It does. Despite his feelings for me, I know that there is no way possible for Jasper to get over all of his feelings for you. He pined over you for almost four years. That says something. And it doesn't matter what you're thinking, because I'll tell you, you're wrong if you think otherwise. He didn't lose his feelings for you, just because he was angry at what you and Edward did. Just as I didn't lose my feelings for-" I cut myself off abruptly, and shook my head quickly. "…someone else either."

"Someone like Edward?"

Frowning, I nodded.

She nodded back, and looked away, toward the large tree in front of us, "I remember that day we got into the accident. Before that, actually. Rose and I woke you up, and you were in Edward's bed. We wanted you to go grocery shopping with us, do you remember? ...We all started talking about boys while we got ready, and... I remember Rose asking you about the two of you. And you frowned. You kept telling us that you knew Edward didn't see you that way, and we kept telling you that you were wrong. I believed that you were wrong, even though it hurt to believe that. I know you never admitted to me personally that you were in love with him, but I still knew. I'm... really sorry, that I stole him from you. That wasn't right. I mean, I know you and Jasper did your thing or whatever, but that wasn't until after he and I called our quits... I knew how you felt about Edward, and I swooped right in there. I'm really sorry, Alice."

I pondered her thoughts for a moment. I wasn't sure where this conversation would lead.

"Can't really steal what I never had," I said, shaking my head.

"You had more than you thought, I'm sure."

I looked at her.

She didn't look away. She wasn't acting angry either. Not bitter, or jealous, or any of those things.

Just sad... for _me_. Like she knew what I was dealing with.

"You know," she continued. "when you and I had that tiff around New Year's, I was so upset with you, thinking you stole Jasper, that you connived behind my back... But truthfully, I did it before you did. And I was worse. I woke up Edward in the middle of the night while my boyfriend was in the room right next door, with a _connecting bathroom_, and asked…begged… him to make love to me. And he wasn't sure at first, but I pushed it, and he did, and I got pregnant. Even though the pregnancy was not planned, I am the worse kind of home wrecker, when you get right down to it."

"You and Edward always had it for each other. He never saw anyone else but you, Bella."

"Bullshit," she answered quickly. Sternly.

I looked over at her, furrowing my brows.

"You know it's bullshit, Alice. Even in high school, he looked over at you sometimes, and this grin came across his face, and he just lit up. You two were best friends, and you still are. And when he and I broke up, he had you. He depended on you. In fact, if it weren't for you, I'd be scared to imagine where Edward would be right now. How bad he'd be. ...But you were there. And during those years when I was gone and he and I were done, you two moved in together. Slept together in the same bed, on and off. Did every damn thing together. Any woman in their right mind would see how easy it could be to fall in love with Edward Anthony Cullen... But you, you had every single reason in the world for doing so. I don't blame you one bit for loving him the way that you do, Alice."

I wiped my tears and looked over at her, swallowing hard, "You don't?"

"No," she shook her head. "And I knew it all along. But Edward... he's blind. He'd never see it. He only sees what he wants."

"That's because all he saw was you."

"I'm sorry for that," she frowned. "I really am. I know you feel awkward talking to me about it... but as a woman, I really understand the pain that you are dealing with. It's hard to be in love with somebody for years and they never know... But, it's even harder, seeing them with someone else, wondering what that person has that you don't have. Why he won't let _you _make him happy. Waiting for him to open his eyes and see it. See all the magic in the air, all the could be's, would be's, should be's. Trust me... I get it."

"I just... I feel so _stupid_," I sobbed, covering my face. "I keep telling myself to let it go, to move on. To have him in my life in any way I can get him, because life without him would be miserable... But then I just keep thinking back. I fantasized that we'd go to the cabin, he'd push Tanya away, and he'd finally open his eyes to me and my feelings... And we were right fucking there. And then you came back in out of nowhere, and I felt that threat immediately. I tried to fight for his attention. But... I just wished he would have seen how much I loved him, and never judged him. I would have done ANYTHING for him. He's been the man in my life, this constant shining star, brightening up my worst days, just as I have been for him. It's always been Edward and I, despite you lingering in the darkness of his mind."

I swallowed bitterly, "I thought one day, I'd just make it all better. Fully heal him. I just wished he would have given me a chance... And I know this is God awful, for me to say, with you being his love, his wife, his baby's mother, and I HATE MYSELF for all of this, but... I can't _help _the way that I feel. I'm sorry. I wish I could! Trust me, I've _tried_."

I inhaled deep, flashes hitting me in the face, "I've tried drinking it out, screwing it out, punching it out... Screaming it out... Cutting out this stupid pain, these damn feelings... I've tried throwing it up. Nothing fucking works. Nothing takes him away from me. And when Jasper came along, yes, I fell for him. With Jasper, Edward kind of became my blind spot. I knew Edward was there, but I couldn't see him as much with Jasper being there, in the way... Jasper made me feel beautiful and worthy of someone's time... and I REALLY DID love him for that... But in the back of my mind, my heart was breaking, and all I thought was, _'Why can't Edward see me like this_?'. Isn't that fucking _awful_? I've lied and lied and lied some more to myself, but there is no use. It never changed shit."

"And then I came back home, to Edward and my place, and _you _were here, and though I knew you two were together, I really saw for the first time just how much I lost, with you being in OUR house... I just couldn't do it anymore. I lost it, and I broke down, and I tried to push Jasper away but he wouldn't let me. But I just couldn't do it, I couldn't pretend... There were times when I saw Jazz for who he was, but then there were other times when I just wished he was my Edward, my best friend instead. I just wanted to see Edward. I know I sound stupid and foolish and selfish, but this has been boiling up for fucking YEARS now, and... It all got ripped from under my feet. It all happened so damn fast... And I tried to be happy for myself. I AM happy for you two. I'm glad he has what he's always wanted, that he found you again... But there's still this part of me that just doesn't get it. That's still aching. That's still numb. I support you two and I love you like my sister, but no one can really tell me to stop feeling anymore than I can try to tell myself... And like I've said. I've _tried_. But I just cannot stop loving him the way that I do, and it's not fair to anyone. I know this. And it's why I hate myself all the more-"

My voice was cut off, and someone pulled me to them, hugging me tight.

It was Bella.

I'd expected her to be mad, but she wasn't. She was comforting me.

I cried into her shoulder, "I'm just so lost. I don't have any place in this world. I feel so alone. I don't know who to be without him, and it's not fair to you and I hate mys-"

"Shhh, Alice," Bella said, crying with me as she rubbed my back. "stop saying you hate yourself. _I _don't hate you for this. I'm happy you're finally _talking _about it... And I know the pain that I held inside when Edward and I were not together, so I cannot _imagine _what you're heart is feeling like right now... For me, knowing that I had loved and lost him was hard enough... Unbearable even. But you didn't have him the way that you wanted him, and in a way, that's always worse... Wondering what could have been... What should have been said. Wishing for another chance... I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way, and I wish I could take this pain away from you... and not even for myself, I don't want you to think that. I don't want you to think that I want you to get over this, so I can go on living this happy fantasy life with my husband. That isn't the reason."

"I'm a woman," she continued. "and I know how hard it is to love someone, but love someone _else _even more... To look into one man's eyes and see another man's. It's hard. And it's _heartbreaking_. And all you do is wonder and ache and bash your brains out, trying to put together this puzzle... but you never can. It's always difficult. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry that you're hurting right now."

I nodded, clutching to her, my tears soiling her shirt, "I thought you'd be so mad at me. Everyone would be so mad at me for what I'm feeling. Some of them are. They don't fucking get it-"

"How can I be mad when I've been through the exact same thing?" she sobbed. "How fair would that be? I've never been one to judge about this... I understand why women flock to Edward. I can't stand it, but I get it. But you, you're different, Alice. You're his goddamn sunshine, for crying out loud! We were at this souvenir shop in the Maldives and all he kept doing was pick things up and saying, _'Alice would love this', _or _'Alice would think this is so funny'_. He does this all the time, and he doesn't even realize it! We'll be in I-Hop and he'll tell me what you order. At the movies and he'll tell me how you like your nachos. At home watching tv, and he'll tell me what shows you cannot live without. Trust me. I get it. And I want you to know, you and I love the same man for both similar, yet very different reasons. And I know it's hard for you to share him, but I want you to know, it's hard for me to share him too. He's got you up on a pedestal, just as you think he's got me up on one."

"But what do we _do_?" I cried. "What do _I _do? You two are married, and he's happy, and you've got a baby on the way, and I'd never, fucking ever try to destroy that! I'd never get in the way of that. I just want to forget about this, for someone to tell Jesus Christ himself to come out here, open my brain up, and pull out every damn emotion I carry for Edward, so that I can move on from this! Why can't I just move on?! I want to, trust me! I want to see you two happy without feeling bitter! I want-"

"Because you've got years of emotions and feelings built up, Alice," she responded. "And four MAJOR years, where you two grew up together, in college. All he had was you, and all you had was him. That's a lot of damn time to get over, especially being secretly in love the entire time and harboring your feelings."

"But it's not fair to you, for another woman to be in love with your husband."

"And it's not fair to you, for his ex-girlfriend to come in, steal him away, and get pregnant either. I knew what I did was wrong."

"It's what he wanted," I scoffed, pulling away and rubbing my face. "It would have happened, whether you went into his room and got pregnant or not. He never saw m-"

"I think he did, Alice," she whispered. "I don't think he'll ever admit it, but... I think he saw you like that. He had to have."

I looked over at her, frowning.

She smiled softly, "The pool. Jazz and I were in the pool with everyone else. You were sad, sitting on the edge. I saw him swim over, and stand between your legs, and wrap his arms around you and hold onto you for dear life. You both looked so damn sad, so heartbroken, over _each other_. Those type of feelings, those raw emotions... They're not just friend feelings, Alice. If he ever thought that, then he was lying to himself."

Swallowing hard, I exhaled and shook my head, "But he chose to share his life with you."

"I know. He chose to marry me, yes. To be in love with me, and to have a family with me... But I know he wants you to be in his life just as much as you've always been. He won't be happy if he had to go on without you being there. I know he'd be miserable. He wants you around, alway-"

"I can't do that," I shook my head. "It wouldn't be fair to me, if he asked me to do that."

"I know," she sniffled, wiping her eyes. "You should talk to him about this. Get it all out in the open."

"I can't. I don't want to see the awkward look of disappointment in his eyes, Bella. I don't want to upset him."

"You won't."

I shook my head.

She leaned forward, rubbing my knee, "Alice. I'm giving you permission to tell my husband that you're still in love with him. Take the opportunity. Please."

I bit my lip, pulling on my hair, "I can't."

"You'll regret it if you don't," she exhaled. "Believe me, I know."

"I know it, too."

"Okay," she rubbed my back. "I'll go to him, I'll talk to him. See what's going on in his mind."

"Thank you."

She nodded and stood up, "...For what its worth, Alice, I owe you my life, and his life, and even Masen's life. You saved him when I couldn't Alice, and I owe you everything in that. Thank you. And I really am sorry that your heart aching is repayment. But I swear to you, I love him more than my own life and I'll never hurt him. I really want you to know this. How much he means to me. Because he's _everything_."

I looked up at her, into her chestnut eyes, and felt numb. "Trust me, I know. I know how much he means to you. I see it in his eyes, every time he even _thinks _of you. Just as I see it on your face right now." My heart felt like it was breaking, shattering, all over again. "Which is why I need to figure out how to let him go."

"Don't rush it, Alice," she said softly, wiping more tears from her eyes. I didn't even know she was crying with me still. "...Take it one step at a time. Don't go making any rash decisions, because in the long run, it only causes more pain. Trust me. I know. I've done it."

"Okay," I whispered.

"Okay. I'll be inside if you need me."

"Thanks," I nodded.

After she closed the door behind her, I snorted, shaking my head. I was angry at myself. I couldn't believe I just had that conversation with her of all people. Admitted to her, all of that shit.

And worse, I couldn't believe it was her that made it all make sense. Bella didn't make me feel crazy for feeling the way that I did. Bella... His _wife_.

My life just became more fucked up than usual.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Victor took a sip of his Starbuck's and eyed me speculatively.

I chuckled, shaking my head, objects under my left arm, "What?"

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes."

"Because you don't have to."

"I know."

"I mean it, Son."

"I know you do. But I cannot keep taking hand-out's. It's not in my nature. If I can do something myself, I'm going to do it. No matter what it costs."

"This is a big deal."

"Masen is a bigger deal. I want what's best for him."

"But this is your baby, and I know how much you lo-."

"_Masen _is my baby. _Bella _is my baby."

"This is your _other _baby."

I laughed and patted him on the back, "It's fine. It's material bullshit. I want to do this. Let's just do it."

Clearing his throat, he nodded, and stuck his hands in his pockets, "As you wish."

He followed me into the tall building once again, and the man we'd been speaking to for the last hour reached his hand out, "Got everything you needed?"

"I believe so," I shook his hand.

"It's been a pleasure doing business with you. I'm sure it will go fast."

I smirked, taking one last look, "I bet it will. Thanks again, from the both of us."

"It's been a pleasure, Mister Cullen. Let us know if you need anything."

"Will do. Take care."

As we climbed inside the car, Victor exhaled, running his hands across his jeans, "How do you feel?"

I shrugged, backing up, "Not sure. Nothing's hit me just yet."

"It will when you drive away."

"Well," I said, turning out into the street, "not if what I'm driving toward is something better."

He smirked, messing up my hair, "That's the way to look at it."

He leaned forward, turning on the radio, "Come on, let's get some music up in this thing. Time to celebrate."

"Oh dear God. Are you seriously going to put it on _that_?"

He nodded his head to the beat of Ja-Rule's, '_Livin' It Up'. _

"Come on," he shouted, throwing his head back, "this is hip. All the cool kids are doing it!"

"Kids, not _adults_."

"This is the shit."

"It's old shit. Besides. You're too old to be looking like a thug."

"Puh-lease. This is the player nod. Come on," he bobbed his head, clapping his hands together, "do the player nod."

"I don't know how," I said through my teeth, tempted to sink lower in the seat while still driving. I didn't, but I was tempted.

"Sure you do! You're a pimp! We _know _you were a pimp at one point! Come on, do the player nod. I know you still got it. Do it! Like this! Do it like this!"

"Oh fuck me," I chuckled, passing a mini-van on my right.

"That's the player slogan."

"Shut up!" I laughed, shaking my head. "You're fucking crazy, going through some mid-life crisis bullshit."

"No, I'm just _living it up_!"

"You're going to give yourself a heart attack, moving around like that!"

"Hell no, I get a lot of exercise! Between working and meetings and all the beautiful ladies, my heart is healthy."

"What about the whiskey and the cigars? Are those good for you too?" I teased with a smile.

"Yes. Don't let anyone else tell you different, either."

I threw my head back and laughed as we stopped at the next red light, "You are a crazy motherfucker, do you know that?"

"Yes."

Inhaling, I looked over at him, and genuinely smiled, "Thanks. For coming here on short notice. For spending the day with me, and for helping Bella and I out. For cheering me up."

He smirked, the same way I do, and leaned his head back on the seat, finally relaxing. "Anytime."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

While we waited on the bank to clear out a little, we decided to swing into a little shop I saw down the street.

"What are we doing? Picking up Tupperware?"

"Get a sense of humor," I teased. "I saw some cool things in here a while back, and I wanted to find something for Bella and I."

"Like what?" he chuckled. "Cockroaches?"

"Come on. Lower yourself down to the little people. We're cool."

"I like my five star hotels, thank you very much..." He looked around, inhaling, "...this place is actually not bad."

"Told you."

"So what are we looking for?"

"I saw some of these bracelet type things... I want to get one for Bella."

"She into the _material bullshit,_ like the type you just sold?"

"No," I smirked. "It doesn't cost much though. I know she'll like it."

"What is it?" He followed me around the store for a few moments, and then I finally spotted it.

I sped up, going toward the table, and swooped it up in it's plastic, "This."

He looked at it, puzzled, then up into my eyes. "What is it?"

"Look."

"A cord?"

"A bracelet."

"Friendship bracelets?"

I smirked, and picked up a different package, "_These _are friendship bracelets." I sat it back down. "But these ones _here _are leather cords. They're unisex, so either can wear them. Actually, this is something Alice would wear... I'll get this one for Alice. But _this _one, this is love. I can get one that matches. Give this to my Bella."

"It's black, not red. Black means death."

"I thought you were hip. _Black is the new red_, or so Alice told me once."

"So black means love?" he said, scratching his head.

"I guess. See, this one has two _huge _knots. Two people, two knots. I get it. It's love."

"Like a dominating love? Because it's leather?"

I shrugged, "I'm totally bullshitting you. I don't know if black means red and red means love or not, but I'm pretending it does, that way I can wear one too. So I'm going to get this one for Bella and I..." I browsed through them, then picked up a purple and green one, "and this one for Alice and I... since they're colored and the two knots here are just fasteners, not as powerful, like on the black ones... I'll give her this one, and I'll take the green one... I'll give it to her whenever we start talking again."

"Why aren't you two talking? And aren't you going to get one for McCarty?"

"I don't think McCarty would like the idea of me buying a _bracelet _for him, Vic."

"True. That'd be gay looking." He followed me to the cash register, "So, what's the beef with you and Alice?"

"She's all over the place. I know she's having a hard time and she wants me to be there for her, but I can't. I have other priorities."

"No priorities are too high to avoid your friends."

"She'll get over it. It's not like I'm shutting us down, but I have some adjustments to make, and I can't be babysitting her while I do it."

"That's really harsh," he scoffed. "I know you don't mean it the way you're saying it. Even I'm not that much of an ass, Edward."

"I'm just tired," I shrugged, paying the lady. "I don't know what I mean. It's all confusing. I love Alice more than anyone else in this world, besides Bella and Masen. She's in the third spot. But she needs to figure out what it is that she wants."

"Like you?"

I glared at him.

He shrugged, opening the door for me, and we walked out onto the sidewalk, "I've known the girl since she was a baby, Edward. So have you. Talk to her and find out what is going on."

"Have you ever thought that maybe she needs to figure it out for herself?"

"Going cold turkey on your friendship may not be the best way to get that point across to her."

"Yeah, yeah," I mumbled, as we jogged the crowded street, into the bank, "let's drop it. More important things to deal with now."

* * *

**RosePOV**

"Mom!"

Silence.

"Mom!"

...More silence.

"Mom, mom, mom!"

...Still nothing.

"_RENEE_!"

"WHAT?!" She came running down the hall, to find me on the couch, holding the laptop. She exhaled, holding the dish towel over her heart, "Rosalie! Don't do that, you scared me."

"Sorry. Where's Jake?"

"He went to meet his father at the station. Said it was important."

"Ugh," I scoffed, growing angry. "He didn't even tell me he was leaving. What an ass."

"That _ass _didn't want to wake you up from your nap," she said, twisting back toward the kitchen. "Said you had a long week."

"Yeah," I frowned. "I did."

"What's going on with you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. Been upset lately."

"Unhappy?"

"Not unhappy, necessarily. I'm in love, and _that's _wonderful... but everything else in my life seems to be shit. Everyone else is out there, doing stuff. When Jake is at work, I'm bored, and all I do is wait until he comes home so I have someone to talk to and love on."

"You don't think Jake likes taking care of you?"

"No, I know he does. But _I _don't like it. I'm just so tired of always being looked after. First you guys, then Bella, now Jake. I feel like I need to _do _something with my life, but I just don't know what the fuck it is that I am supposed to be doing!"

She came back in, gave me a glass of lemon tea, sat across from me, and propped her feet up on the footstool, "So. Let's talk. Tell me. What interests you?"

I shrugged nonchalantly.

"You went to college for business management and marketing, with a minor in professional photography. I know how much you love pictures. I know how you dreamed about being a high class photographer... Why haven't you looked into renting out a building here? Starting your own photography business?"

"Takes money to start renting. I don't have money."

"We've got money."

"_My _money."

"You _have _money. You know you do. You've been saving since you were twelve."

I frowned, rubbing my arm nervously, "I'm too afraid to spend it unless I know it's a good investment."

"Business can be very good."

"But if it fails, then I have no one to blame but myself. And I'll be broke."

She sighed, "I know you don't like to think about it, but you know Phillip took care of you and Bella where money is concerned. Why not turn it into something positive?"

"I can't take dad's money," I whispered. "It wouldn't be right."

She laughed, rubbing her stomach, "You took your father's money all the time when he was here. What's the difference?"

"Now he can't argue with me about giving it to me."

"I'm sure he would if he could," she smiled. "But you know he'd end up giving it to you when all is said and done."

I shook my head, swallowing hard, "It wouldn't be right. What if I failed? His money would be lost."

"If you tried your absolute hardest and did what you're supposed to be doing with it, then I don't see how anything would be considered lost. I don't get how you could be a failure. You need to get your glass half full, honey. The first thing about running any type of business is confidence. Showing someone that they _need _your project. I know you know how to do that."

I bit my lip and kept my eyes toward the ground. "I don't know."

"Sure you do. You know, and I know you do. I guarantee, that if I walk over to where you are right now and flip open that laptop, there's some type of photography blog on there. Am I right?"

I met her eyes.

She smiled, "Thought so."

Growling, I fiddled with a piece of my hair, "I just feel like I'm at a stand-still in life. I want things I never wanted before, and I'm scared of everything else."

"What do you want, that you never wanted before?"

"Love, for one thing," I answered, too quickly. "Jake."

"You've got him."

"I know I do. I'm thankful for that."

"But then why..."

I looked over at her again.

She studied my eyes for a second, then it all made sense. "Oh. Ohhh..." She nodded slowly, smile on her face, "I see. Honey, that comes after you fall in love."

"I know. I know," I growled, growing agitated with myself. "I don't know why I want these things, suddenly! Marriage, babies, those things weren't like a must-have on my list! I mean, yes, I've always wanted to be a mom, one day, when I'm ready... But now, every time I see Jake and feel how I feel when he's around me, I just want more of it. And I know, if I told him, I'd fucking freak him out. He's younger than me. He's got this great career, and all of these things he's worked so hard for! Why on earth would I be like, 'Hey Jake, I want us to have a baby too. Everyone else is jumping on the bandwagon, why can't we?'. Yeah fucking right."

"Rosalie," she smirked. "You don't want a baby just because your sister is having one, do you?"

I shook my head, "No. But I do see her with it, and it makes me want one more. But I want to feel complete, the way a mother does. I want to know that someone loves _me _unconditionally. I want to love someone _else _unconditionally! I want... everything, _now_, and I get so damn frustrated when I don't have it."

"You know how I feel about priorities, and where your sister lacked in that area, so I'm not going to go there... Though I do see much improvement in her life since Edward has been back in it, I cannot lie about wishing they did a move-in together, then a long engagement, then marriage, and _then _a baby. But, by any account, she is not you, and you do not have her life. You have your _own_, and you make it what you want. You want photography? Go get it! You want your own business, and to one day work in a high fashion magazine? Do it! You want to marry Jacob Black and have a baby, the more the merrier. All I ask is that you put your heart into your thoughts _before _you make the decision, then do whatever it takes, once the decision has been made."

I thought about what she said for a few moments.

She sounded so mature. More than any other time we talked.

"Did you know that Jacob has been the only constant in my life, besides Bella? He's been my friend, even when he and Bella were hanging out more when we were back in school. He never once judged me, or hurt me. _NEVER_. I just wished I would have opened my eyes to the thought of him before I actually did... We grew so close, so fast... I never knew he thought about me the way I thought about him though. It's crazy, but I feel almost like I'm hypnotized. I mean, I'll be cleaning the house and I'll be thinking of him, just watching time tick away, until he can finally get off work. I miss him, all the damn time, and I am _not _a clingy person! I have my own life, my own priorities, my own thoughts... But I seriously fucking miss him when he's away. Because he's my best friend and my boyfriend, so... I mean... it's like two people go away when he leaves, and two people come back, when he comes home to me."

Renee smiled, running her hands through her short hair, "You will figure it out, baby. It sounds to me like you've got a good thing going with Jake. You know you have my approval, I love him to pieces. If you want to take the next step, then maybe you should be the one to bring it up to him?"

"What, like propose?"

"Why not?"

"Because that makes a woman look desperate?"

She laughed, "Only if the woman _wants _to look desperate, Rosalie. There is nothing wrong with a strong woman going after what she wants."

"I want it all," I scoffed bitterly.

There was a silence in the room suddenly.

I didn't like it.

I always felt the need to fill it.

Our eyes focused on each other's for a moment.

Just focused.

Then, Renee leaned forward, and her expression was filled with passion, and love.

She smiled at me, and calmly said, "Then go get it all."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

"Yo, Alice," I shouted, tossing a football in the air as I entered the living room. I found her sitting behind the coffee table, playing some card game. "What the fuck is this shit?"

"A deck of cards?"

"This _music_, smartass."

"_'Wires' _by Athlete. Why?"

"It's depressing as fuck. Talking about wires going in and out of a person's body when they're in the hospital and all that shit-"

"Well ...I'm in a depressed mood. I can turn it down, I didn't realize it was up that loud. I'm really sorry, Emmett."

"It's not. I didn't hear it until I went toward the kitchen. But still." I studied her eyes, focused intently toward the coffee table.

She was sad again. _Shit._

Walking around, I squeezed in between the coffee table and the couch, and sat on the floor beside her, "Wanna talk about it?"

She nodded slowly.

"Okay..."

She inhaled, running her chipped, black polished nail across the edge of the coffee table, "I told Bella that I still had feelings for Edward today."

_Deep breath_. "Really? I'm proud of you, for saying it out loud... How'd she take it?"

"She still loves me... She wasn't jealous, and she didn't try to knock my head off."

"That's always good," I chuckled. "You're a tiny girl. Without a head, you'd all but disappear."

She half-smiled, still staring at the cards, "I wouldn't have blamed her if she did though. If our roles were reversed, and I was his wife... I'd knock her head off if she told me she had feelings for him still."

"Maybe she understands your situation?" I shrugged. "...It wasn't too long ago that I remember talking to her back in the cabin, about her being with one person and wanting another too."

"Yeah," Alice scoffed. "The same two people. Jasper gets the fucked up, broken pieces of both sticks, while Edward had two women battling over him."

"Jasper involved himself with two broken people. What could he have expected, truthfully? A happy, bliss-free relationship? I think not."

"Still... it wasn't fair to him. From me, or Bella... the more and more I think about it, the more upset I get with myself. There I was, judging Bella, knowing she was going to hurt Jasper like she hurt Edward at one time... and then I end up doing the same damn thing to Jasper. What gave _me _the right?"

"You didn't know you were going to hurt Jasper."

"How do you know?"

"Because. You _wanted _to move on from Edward. I think you've wanted that for a while. To just be his best friend. I think you thought that Jasper was a good place to start... But truthfully, it doesn't matter if Jasper was fucking George Clooney. Once your heart has made up it's mind, it's fucking done. It sucks, I know, but that's the way it goes."

"It's so easy to be blinded..." she whispered. "We push ourselves and push ourselves, until we almost believe what we want to believe. Then reality comes back, and it's hard. You know, Em. You did it with Rose."

"I did," I replied. "And it's still rough. I think I forced myself to tell her I loved her back, because I wanted to love someone back. I wanted what everyone else had... But in truth, I'm not sure I even know how to love a girl. I love all of them but the ones I'm actually with."

"I think you're capable of love, Emmett. Your heart is so big... _Really_. You do a lot more good than you think. Your dumb, sometimes... but you're also really, really good." She leaned over, putting the side of her head on my shoulder, "I wish that all of us could figure this out."

"Hey. We're talking. This is a huge step for all of us. You finally talking about your feelings. Me accepting that I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to women, and I need to figure out what I'm doing... I mean, Edward's out, taking care of business, instead of shoving drugs up his nose until the problems magically go away. Bella's got a baby in her stomach, a ring on her finger, and she didn't take your head off when you told her how she felt. Jasper bowed out gracefully when it came to both you and her, and he's still kind, and doing whatever it takes to help out when he can. Rosalie and Jacob are off doing whatever the fuck it is that they're doing... but they're still together, which shocks the hell out of me, but still. We're all progressing."

"We're maturing?"

"Yeah," I smirked. "_Maturing_. I like it."

She stuck her index finger on my right dimple and giggled, finally, "I love this one. It's my favorite."

I could smell alcohol on her breath. Whiskey. She raided my damn cabinet again.

The song switched to an equally depressed one, _'Best Not To Think About It', _by Athlete.

It made me think of Alice. Of her problems. I didn't like it.

But sometimes, if you try to correct it, you push them away. I'd much rather just sit here with her, let her be, and watch over her.

"Why is _this _one your favorite today?" I asked her.

"Because it makes me happier than anything else right now."

"My dimple?"

"Yes. Women love dimples, Emmybear. We're drawn to them. An ugly man could have dimples, and that would at least score him a drink purchase."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and squeezed her tight, "I'm glad it makes you happy, Alice. And thanks for the ugly man tip. That'll boost my confidence. The next time a pretty girl ignores my antics, I'll just flash her the right dimple, and see if she'll let me buy her a drink."

"She will," She replied, then frowned slightly, and looked to the floor, "I wisssh that someone would see _me _as pretty."

"Oh, Allycat. You're always pretty, no matter what."

"Whatever."

"You are. But your _smiles _are what makes you stand out to me. I don't want you to lose any of them."

"I know. I'm trying, but it's hard. I feel like... the entire world forgot about me. Like... I'm better off secluded."

"You're not. I know, I for one, would be pissed if you left me. Edward too."

"Maybe it'd be for the besssst."

"Stop saying shit like that. You can't think like that, Alice. If you do, then these demons around you win."

She thought for a moment, shaking her head, leaning most of her weight into my side, "Maybe the demons aren't around me. Maybe they're _inside _of me. Maybe I'm fucked up and need an exorcism."

"No. All you need is to surround yourself with love and hope."

"And where the hell am I going to find love _or _hope, as if either of those really exist for me. Maybe other people, but not me."

"Yes they do."

"How do _you _know?"

"Because I have hope for you. And I love you. You're my buddy, Alice."

"Pssshhh. I'm your _buddy_?" She scoffed, swinging her hands around in defeat, after taking a sip of the barely there whiskey bottle, "I'm everyone's fucking buddy. Brad, Frankie, Andy... All of them boyfriends at one point. All of them declare they'd rather have friendship in the end. And where are they today, huh? Out fucking _better _women... Jasper, same difference. I broke up with him, but in the end, he agreed that friendship would be better for me right now."

"And then I go after the one person I _really _want, no matter what cost, but he goes and gets a girl knocked up the same fucking night we almost had sex for the second time, and then he hates her, then he loves her, then he hates her, then he loves her _and _marries her, and he's my best friend by the way. I kiss him, we get to almost third damn base, and fuck me if my life sucks, because he stops us. Life goes on. We already know Jasper. Skip to you. I kiss you, and you stop us too."

I laughed, rubbing my face with my left hand, while I kept her up with my right, "I stopped because Edward would have my ass if you and I had sex, Alice."

"I wanted to!"

"I know, I did too, but I don't know if our reasons were the same, and it'd be really shitty if-"

"Besides, why should Edward care what the hell I do with my life? He's not my boyfriend, ya know? He never _wanted _to be. But he thinks he still has this high and mighty right to dictate to me, tell me how I should live _my _life? What the fuck is his problem? Who does he think he is?"

"I don't know. I never understood how Edward could say he didn't have feelings like that for you, when, honestly, you're right. It doesn't make sense to me either."

"Thank you," she bumped my chin with the top of the bottle by accident, "Sorry."

I took it out of her hands, and pretended I took a sip so she wouldn't get upset with me, "'S okay. But you do the same thing with him. You dictate how he lives his life."

"Well, that's because I can admit my feelings."

"You did then. You haven't lately."

"I'm sure he knows."

"Don't bet on it. Edward's fucking got tunnel vision and shit. He sees what he wants."

She scoffed, "Yeah. I know."

"I will tell you, Alice. I think he's happy with Bella."

"I know," she frowned. "And I get it. But Emmett... Do you think they'd be married right now if she hadn't gotten pregnant?"

I shrugged, rubbing her back with my free hand, "Can't tell you. But I do know that they are married, so there's no point in playing the _what if _card on it."

"I know," she frowned. "I'm sorry. I told Bella earlier that I wished Jesus himself would come down here and take out all my feelings for Edward. Just make it all disappear. I don't know why He's not listening to me."

"Maybe he is listening, but he's waiting for you to make a decision."

"I'd rather have him just come down here and do it for me."

I chuckled, and held the top of her head with my palm, "Ohhh, Alice. Don't we all."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I sat in the hallway around the corner from Emmett's living room, and listened to the conversation that continued.

I couldn't help but spy. I was worried for Alice.

It's crazy to think about how much my heart ached at her thoughts. And what was sadder, I almost wished, for a very quick second, that Edward and I didn't get back together, just so she could be happy and get the man she wants. I know how crazy it sounded, even to myself. And I know I'd never give him up.

But I seriously _thought _about it. With anyone else, there'd be no thoughts. But she was his best friend. And she was hurting. And I know that what I did was wrong, and it made me feel awful when I thought about it. I didn't even realize the truth, until it came out to her. It was like, she was confessing all of her demons, and then mine came out, right along with hers.

We bared our hearts with no boundaries.

I've found myself wishing that people could be cloned. Or that I could split him in half, and give a part to her.

Yes, I wanted him to myself. But with her... I think I'd sacrifice.

_Shit_. _I think I'm losing my mind. I know I'd never give him up again._

There was a knock, and then the front door swung open, revealing Edward and Victor.

I quickly stood up, and our eyes met, then a smile turned into a frown, once he twisted, and noticed Emmett and Alice, with tears in Alice's eyes, and a bottle in Emmett's hands.

I saw the anger before he even spoke. "Jesus, Emmett! What the hell is this shit!"

Emmett quickly stood up, stunned look on his face.

Alice laughed a little, then followed in suit, slowly standing, "Ohhh, Edward. What's the big deal? Really?"

Edward stepped toward her, looked her up and down, "You're drunk."

"And?"

"And you shouldn't be. Not with your problems."

"Who are you to tell me what I should be doing? You don't have time for me, remember? This is of no importance to you!"

"Is that why you're doing this? To prove something to me:?!"

"No! I'm doing it because I want to! The world doesn't revolve around you, Edward," she scoffed, swaying a bit. "Besides! This is Emmett's house, not yours! You can't tell me how to act in his house."

Edward walked closer, jerking her by her arm, toward him, "This may be Emmett's house, Alice, but you live with me. I am the one who gets yelled at, whenever something is wrong with you! Hell, even you yell at me when something is wrong with you. So this definitely fucking concerns me, where my best friend is, and what the fuck she is doing!"

"Oh, now I'm your best friend again? _Now_?! I thought I was childish and immature? I thought you were above me, now that you've got your wife and your baby on the way?"

"I never said I was above you!"

She stepped forward, pushing him back, hard on his chest, "You said everything _but _that, you little chicken shit! You _meant _it! Don't fucking stand there and lie to me!"

"Don't push me, Alice."

She did it again, "Why not? Are my hands below you too?" Again.

"Quit it," he sneered.

Emmett stepped forward and hooked his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest.

She quickly started kicking, until he put her down.

Then she was right back in front of Edward, and she was seething mad, "How can you just _decide _that you're better than me, huh? Do you have any idea how much that fucking hurt?! Yes, I may be going through something right now, I admit it! But you'd been going through something for almost _four damn years_, and I never once, _ONCE_, said that I was too good to help you! I never once turned my fucking back on you! Never once said that I had more important shit to deal with! And this is how you repay me?! Fuck you, Edward."

"Fuck me?"

"YES! _FUCK YOU_. I don't know how you can call yourself my best friend now. You've obviously lost the damn meaning of the word!"

"Oh please, Alice, spare me."

She didn't step down, "You think I'm nothing now, isn't that it? Your feelings, your everything. It's all changed. You're thinking it, I see it in the anger on your face, in your eyes. You look at me differently."

"I don't look at you differently, Alice, but I want you to GROW UP and FACE RESPONSIBILITY."

"Face responsibility?! Really. _You're _going to preach to me about this shit?! Just because a cow hides behind a tree to cover his spots, that doesn't make him any less of a cow, Edward. You're a cow. You're hiding behind Bella, behind this baby. You've still got four years of drama that you're hiding! _Face responsibility_? You can't talk to me unless you do it too, and you're not!"

"Yes I am," he said through his teeth. "You don't know it yet, but trust me. Revelations are flying at me left right and center, and I'm trying really hard to deal with my shadows, just as much as the next person, and then some. I love you to death Alice, you _know _I do. I worry about you, every day. I wouldn't be standing here, fighting with you, if I didn't give a shit! Not two months ago, I was down on the floor with you, next to the toilet, ready to put my whole future up my nose because I love you so damn much. Remember? You fail, I fail. It still goes. But I've got a family now, and despite my concern for you, I have to get things straightened out with them first. I took a vow to protect them. To shelter them. To love them, unconditionally. That's what I plan to do. I can't help who I piss off in the long run, because my family is what matters the most."

She wiped her face with the back of her arm, her hands shaking, her body quivering. "But... what about _me_?" she asked weakly. "What about all the promises that you've made to me, to my family? To your family? The same ones that I made to them about you? We'd always be there, we'd always protect each other. No matter what. And you're ditching me."

"I'm not ditching you, I never said th-"

"Yes you did! Last night, you did."

Edward remained calm, as I stepped behind him, and rubbed his back, "No, Alice, I said that I had to go take care of something more important than having a fight with you! Look. We're gonna disagree. We're gonna fight. We know too much shit about each other not to. But me, standing here, fighting with you about your drinking and shit... This should tell you how much I still care about you. How much I love you. Because I do. So fucking much, Alice. I mean it."

The tears poured from her eyes, and she wiped them away, smudging her eyeliner. She nodded, then shook her head, and looked to the ground. When she finally spoke again, her voice was so low, that it broke me in half, "I know... I just... I really wish that you'd love me the way that I love you... " She whimpered, her hand clutching her covered wrist, "...Then you might know how it feels to be me, because right now... This really sucks."

Edward froze stiff in front of my hands.

Alice scoffed, shaking her head. She looked up, her chin quivering, and met my eyes, "I'm sorry, Bella."

"It's okay," I whispered, rubbing Edward's back soothingly. "It needed to be said."

I felt Edward start to tremble, and felt his hidden fear. He didn't know what to say.

She looked up at him, water in her eyes, sad expression.

He looked back, his expression a mirror of hers.

Then they both just walked away, in opposite directions.

I frowned to Emmett, and he frowned back. That conversation didn't go as well as I had planned.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After allowing everyone an hour or so to calm down, I saw Victor go in with Alice, and I decided to check on Edward.

I tapped my knuckles on the door, and found him sitting on the side of the bed, head cradled, fingers in his hair.

"Edward," I whispered from the doorway. "Can I come in?"

He popped his head up and nodded, holding his left hand out to me.

I came toward him and took it, and he pulled me in, resting his forehead on my pooching belly. Exhaling, he shook his head slightly, "I'm so sorry that you had to hear that, Baby."

"Don't be sorry," I replied quietly. "I told her to tell you how she felt."

Immediately, his head popped up, and his eyes widened, "What? Why would you tell her that, Bella?"

"Because it's the truth," I said, running my fingers through his bronzed locks. I kept my voice calm as I kissed his head, "Edward... She's hurting. She's your best friend, and she's hurting, and she chose to actually confide in someone, and that person ended up being _me _of all people. And I know if she were any other person, especially someone like Aimee, I wouldn't have thought two seconds before I knocked her on her ass. But it's Alice, and when she looked up at me this morning... I saw my own reflection in her eyes. I mean, I really saw it. All her pain, all her hurt and confusion... that was me, while you were away."

"And yes, it sucks that she's in love with you, but like I told her, I don't blame her for a second. She has more reason then all these other girls. She's had you since she was what, three? Four? And then, when you and I split, you asked her to move in with you. To be there for you, every single day. To go to the games, and bowling, the movies, on vacations, everywhere. You confided in her, things you'd never tell anyone else. And she to you. And through that, she fell deeper for you, and I honestly don't blame her for doing that. I would have done it too. You don't realize the power, this effect, this pull you have on women. I do, but you've never noticed it. Yes, you're arrogant and yes you can be an ass, but you can also be so damn sweet, and romantic, and thoughtful, and you wear your heart on your sleeve, and that makes us all want you more."

"You've hated life sometimes, Edward, and we've all had trials, but... You know who you are. Deep down inside, you know it, and that's admirable. None of us, no one that I can think of besides you, and maybe Jacob, really knows who they are in this scenario. You've got a great career, a Porsche, a condo... You've got a loving mother who raised you to respect a woman... You've surrounded yourself with these friends, who at times may be reckless and idiotic, but also would do anything you ask them to do, because they know you'd do the same for them. James is the perfect example. Your friends put their freedom on the line to help you with that.... Any woman would fall in love with you, for all of these things..."

I lifted his chin, and smiled down to him, "And the sexy?. Well those are just a hefty, hefty bonus."

He smiled, despite himself, and ran his hands along my hips, "What about my sexual appetite?"

I grinned, "An even better bonus."

He inhaled, leaned forward, lifted my shirt, and kissed my stomach a few times. "Thank you, Baby. For... Being the better person than I just was. I'd spent all day, showing myself how cool and collected I could be, how grown up I was, and then I still fight with Alice."

"Edward, grown ups have fights. You and I, we're going to have fights. Probably some bad ones, knowing us. People who fight, that's a sign that they care. Like you said, if you didn't give a shit about her, you wouldn't be putting up the effort of having a fight. But you love her, and you want her well. There's nothing wrong with fighting for that."

He nodded, hugging my waist tight, "It all makes more sense when you say it."

"That's what I'm here for. Remember our vows? You pick me up, and I pick you up. We're a team."

He smiled and tugged my hand a bit, "We are. Will you sit down with me?"

I nodded.

He pulled something plastic out of his pocket, and ripped the package open with his perfect white teeth. Then he deposited a black, leather cord, double knotted bracelet in my palm, and clutched the other one in his hand. "For you."

I tilted my head, fiddling with it, "Thank you... What is it?"

"Just something else that we have in common," he smirked, brushing my hair off my shoulder. "You wear one, and I wear one too... No one really sees our necklaces, and I cannot wear mine in the O.R. because of the silver and the babies, but... This, I can wear anywhere. And people will see it, and they'll know I'm linked to you."

Biting my lip, I slid it on my wrist and adjusted it, "I love it. Thank you so much. I'm not going to take it off."

"Me neither," he smiled. "I got different ones, for me and Alice. But I will wait a while before I give it to her."

"Yeah," I rubbed his back. "So... Where do we go from here?"

"Well, first I wanted to talk to you about something... And then I wanted to show you something."

"Okay..." My heart started to beat really fast when our eyes connected.

He smiled reassuringly, "I've been doing a lot of thinking, and... I think that you and I, we need some help. As I've told you before, I don't regret how my life has been for one second, because it brought you to me, and that's what matters the most, but... There's still a lot of things we need to sort out..." He looked up at me, his emerald green eyes sending shudders down my spine, "Bella, I have a confession to make."

"What is it?"

He licked his lips and grabbed my hands, holding them between his, "I... read your medical file... I know I shouldn't have, but I was trying to see if there was a rape kit ordered, so I could find some information about James's location, just in case... and I couldn't stop myself. I read about your... breakdown... and... "

He closed his eyes once I pulled my head back a bit, so he wouldn't have to look at my stunned expression anymore, "I just really worry about you. I worry about me too. I reacted so damn poorly yesterday, and so did you, and we can't keep doing that. We have to stay strong. We have to be strong, and we cannot do that if we keep ignoring our pasts."

Shivering, I ignored the pain in my chest and my bouncing knees, and looked him dead in the eyes, "...What do we have to do?"

"I think we need therapy. The both of us."

"Oh."

"We can go together," he said really fast. "And we can support each other. And we can work out our problems there, then leave them at the door, and go home to our baby and our life together. We don't have to fight about it when we get there, we can just be our normal selves at home, but... I really think we'll start to feel ourselves change for the better, as time goes by. And we both need to let go of these things. I know I have a lot of guilt, and I've made a lot of mistakes, and I'm willing to sit there and talk about it all in front of you, despite my utter terror that you may leave me when you find out... I just want us to really get stronger. Better than ever. I really believe that it's for the best, but I want you with me."

He exhaled, and caressed my arm, "What do you think?"

I shrugged, trying to get my brain to process things.

Edward remained silent, and let me ponder for a while.

And ponder, I did. For ten minutes straight. In silence.

"Okay," I whispered eventually, tugging on his fingers. "I think you're right. Let's do it."

"Really?" he asked.

I nodded, smiling, "Really. We need it. We need to deal with it, and we need to move on."

"Yes!" He said, pulling me into a deep hug. "Yes, yes, yes! Bella! Thank you so much!"

He started kissing all over my face, and the inside of my hands and wrists, then my face again, "Yes. Thank you, thank you, thank you. _God _I love you so damn much!"

Giggling, I pulled him into a kiss, and we fell sideways onto the bed.

Out of habit, our hands started roaming into the back of each other's shirts, but then he quickly jerked his face away from mine, "Wait! Emmett's bed. Can't do this here."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right," I said panting, kissing him again.

"Baby," he smiled as I attacked his mouth. "Baby... This is.. Emmett's bed... and I .. really want to show you something."

"What? Show me."

He pulled my face away and looked me in the eyes. "Come outside."

"Okay..."

He pulled me up and led me through the house, then covered my eyes before he led me to the pavement. He called for Victor, who was sitting on the couch, and he quickly popped up and followed us out.

"Wh-Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

"Did you kill Emmett and hang him up on the basketball hoop or something?"

"Yeah. You've totally got me."

"Then what then?"

"A few more steps..."

"Come on."

"Hold your horses."

"My horses don't want to be held."

"Here we go," he uncovered my eyes quickly, "Ta-da!"

I stared at the silver car for a few seconds, and furrowed my brows, "You went and got the Volvo?"

"Yes."

"That's cool," I said, with a slight disappointment. "I mean... I've missed it and I'm glad you got it back, but I've seen it before."

He smirked and turned me toward him, "What did we come to Em's in last night?"

"The Porshe."

"And what is there?"

"The Volvo."

"Get it?"

"...Not at all."

He groaned, bending back a bit, then he snapped forward and clutched my arms, "I sold it."

"You sold what?"

"My Carerra."

"What?!" I squealed, hand over heart. "_Why_?! That thing had hardly any miles on it!"

"I know, that's why I sold it."

"Edward?! Why would you sell that car?"

Victor cleared his throat, and handed me a stack of papers, held together by a paper clip.

"What's this?" I asked, fingering through them.

Edward rubbed my back and smiled, "I sold the car to get the money for a down payment on the house you wanted."

I dropped the papers and looked at him, "_WHAT_?"

He smirked, "That covers the down payment and the inspection and closing costs, and my generous grandfather here agreed to front us the money we need to get into the house in two weeks. Only on the condition that, in a couple of years, he allows me to pay him back the money he's lent me up front with the money that I will be making through the Children's Hospital. Also, though it's in our names, he had to do a mutual co-sign. Which means, in one year, with no penalties, his name will fall off of the mortgage, and then it'll be just ours. He can remove it earlier, depending on, like I said, how we make our payments. That way, we don't have to go through any more bank bullshit."

I couldn't think of anything to say. My mind was a complete blank.

"And," he said, rocking us from side to side, "The house was vacant... Ready to go. I spoke with Lauren, the Realtor, and the owners agreed that if I hand them the money today -- which I've done -- then not only are we moved to the top, but that they'd take our offer _immediately_, and as soon as we sign these papers, then it's ours."

"Ours?"

"All ours," he exhaled smoothly.

"Ours..." I said, shaking my head. "Ours... Ours..."

"Mmhmm."

I looked over at him, trying to figure out how to respond to this.

"Yesterday, all I could think about was running away to Jamaica with you and this baby... That everything in my life was about to be ruined... And now, you're telling me that you sold the Carerra and that you bought a freakin' house? _Our _house? My, my, m-my dream house?!"

He smirked, "That's what I'm telling you."

"Are you shitting me right now?"

"No_p_e," he replied, popping the 'p'.

"Edward," I said, feeling overwhelmed.

"Yes, my love?"

I looked at him, shaking my head, smiling like a baboon.

He tilted his head forward, waiting for me.

"WE HAVE A HOUSE!!!!" I screamed, jumping in his arms and laughing.

He bounced me up and down a few times, then hugged me to his chest tightly, "Yes baby. We have a house."

"Oh my God!" I cried, throwing my legs around him, completely forgetting Victor until I noticed he was laughing his ass off at my reaction. "We have a house?! We have a house?!"

"We have a house," he repeated calmly. "And we're going to have _security _in _our house_, besides just the gate... Actual physical people. Victor's arranging it all for us."

"Ohh," I exhaled, kissing all over his neck. "My life couldn't get any better than this!"

He laughed, spinning me around, "Are you excited?"

"Yes!!!"

"Do you want to go see it tomorrow morning?"

"YES!!!"

"Okay. Sign those damn papers, we'll take it up to the Realtor's office tomorrow, and see if we can't snag the keys."

"Edward," I said, rubbing his cheeks and kissing all over his mouth, "I'm so happy. I'm so damn happy!"

He pulled back a bit, and smiled down at me, keeping me in his arms, "That's all I want you to be."

And I was.

I really, _really _was.

At last.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 31! **

**-- I'm aiming for 4 more chapters, maybe an epilogue too. We'll see. :)  
Pics and songs in profile as always.**

**-- Reminder, there are outtakes posted in my profile. Make sure to check 'em out, put them to your Alerts/Favs, and review. :D**

**Reviews are better than Robsten inspiring me to give E/B matching bracelets!**


	32. Transferring Scars

_Special Thanks to_:  
- To **My readers **and **loyal reviewers**.... I heart you guys something awful. Truly. Each and every one. I'm sorry I cannot respond to all reviews, trust me, I want to but it's difficult and I don't want to be one of those ppl who write the same thing over and over again. But I think you're all adorable. Even when you're (cutely) demanding more sex scenes and various lemony outtake. (Not that I mind, haha.) Guess what! TEF won at the **Golden Chocolate Awards**!! For _Best Romance, Best Drama_, and _Best Lemon_, as well as _Runner-Up _for _Best Author_! THANK YOU to every one who voted and spread the word out about this story!  
- To **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for your advice, your comfort, your encouragement when times are rough, both with writing and in other ways. You and I have connected so easily, and in some ways, I feel like maybe you've always been present in my path of life, just waiting for the right time for us to cross ways, as I to you. Maybe we were meant to be confidantes? Besides, on a work-related note, your wording skills are awesome. Thank you for being smart enough to make me sound equally smart (or close enough to it, haha!)  
- To **My Twilighted**, **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members** -- For your constant support and love. For my nicknames Angel, Ang, and AaT. ;) For keeping me in line, keeping me grounded, putting me in my place when you're adamant about something you really care about, even if I somewhat disagree, and for your sweet (and sometimes blunt) honesty. I wouldn't feel nearly as complete without _any _of you.  
- To **TwilightLover1217** -- Here's your shout-out! ;) Thanks for your support.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Transferring Scars  
You wanted explanations? You're getting them.  
Edward has a hard decision to make concerning where he stands with Alice. Emmett shows how deep his friendship goes, while Edward and Bella move on to the next step of their lives. Lots of changes happening for everyone. Tumbling down like waterfalls. *** DO NOT SKIP AHEAD. It will ruin it, and I want the effects to be real when you get to them *****

**Chapter Warning: **Powerful angst and strong subject matter involved. You'll be reading a certain part with a heavy heart. Don't lash at me about it, por favor. It was necessary to someone's story. I ask that, even though it's lengthy, _please _don't skim over this chapter or other POV's. Please, take the time, read all of it, before making any overly-harsh comments about ANY characters. If you truly look beneath the surface, there's a lot of reasoning in this chapter. Be open to it. (**Note:** Jake and Rose will return in the next chapter. Sorry_ JaRo _fans. )

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

**Q&A posted at bottom of chapter.**

* * *

_**"I had a dream that you were with me. It wasn't my fault.  
You rolled me over, flipped me over... a somersault.  
And that doesn't happen to me. I've never been here before.  
I saw forever, in my never, and I stood outside her heaven...  
And I could only dream of you and sleep, but I won't ever see sunlight again.  
I can try to be with you , but somehow I'll end up just losing a friend.  
I can only reach for you, relate to you, I'm losing my friend...  
Where did she go?  
...Where?"**_

_**~ Blue October, "My Never"**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Two: Transferring Scars**

**EdwardPOV **

Emmett and Alice came with Bella and I back to _The Escala_ last night. Alice needed to grab some things. Very little had been exchanged between Alice and I since the blowout. Actually, no words at all. No glances, and no words. I went to bed early, while Bella lay on the couch with Spendor and Cora. I didn't want to be without her, but she said I needed some time to myself to get my head together. To breathe for a second. She was the strong one, once again.

I can't even begin to describe how torn I felt... and how guilty I felt for being torn. ...Isabella Marie _Cullen_. She is my everything. Still today, just as much as she's been since the very first day I met her.

My best friend's words didn't change that. But they did stir something unsettling in me. I wasn't comfortable with the way Alice spoke to me earlier, with the things she admitted in front of my wife. How coolly Bella handled it.

I knew that I had to set things straight. But I didn't know how to go about doing it without hurting her, or myself. I wasn't sure what to say. Or how to feel. I knew I had to be stern, to make sure Alice understood. But I wasn't sure if I could pull off stern, when I was so afraid of losing her in my life.

Sure, aside from this dilemma, there was joy, that Bella and I were one step closer to 'normalcy'... _whatever the fuck that word meant anyway_. The house, the now lack of car payment on my end, the stress off my shoulders, a new beginning; it was all wonderful and exciting. But I couldn't start a new beginning while things with my old existence lingered in the background. It had to be settled and resolved.

I've lived here, with Alice, for four years now. She was the person I put most of my time and effort into. She was the person that healed me, just as much as I had healed her... In fact, she healed _me _more. She only had two breakdowns, one of them coming after Bella and I got back together. The rest of the time, it was all about fixing _me _after I'd done something stupid. Taking care of _me_. All about _my _needs, _my _wants. She always put herself second. I knew I'd never be able to make that up to her. And I knew she'd never ask me.

But, as long as I am being fuck-all honest with myself, now that it's out in the open and in front of my eyes... Looking back, I am starting to see signs that Alice felt a little more for me than best-friend love. If I had known then, I may have wandered into the dark places she helped brighten a little, and asked myself why she was dedicating so much time to me. Avoiding other men. Why she only brought home a few, but would quickly boot them out if I was having a bad day... How she'd drop everything to hang out with me. The list went on and on.

But back then, I took whatever was given and ran with it, because when the chips were down, it was her and me against this fucked up world, and I did not want to lose that. Still don't. In the end, we both lied and we both cheated. I hid my feelings for Bella from her, and everyone else, and she hid hers about me. I pretended I was fine with things, though people knew I wasn't. I convinced her I was moving on, just as she convinced me in the cabin she didn't have feelings for me. Alice held back and I held back. We shoved those things under the rug, along with all the other shit we helped each other avoid. That's what made us even closer. We had secrets we told to each other, and kept from one another... A strict don't ask, don't tell policy.

But the fact that was _never_ in doubt was that I would trade everything I fucking owned for one more hour with Bella.

To say that Alice had been my rock through all that is an understatement. I'd given her the nickname _'sunshine' _for a few reasons. During my four year mind fuck, she was the only person that made me see light in all my depths of darkness. She gave me understanding and encouragement when it didn't seem possible. A reason to keep living, to see another daybreak, even when I didn't want to. At any giving moment, even now, she'd destroy her life and throw herself under a bus in order to keep me from being hit. And I would have done the same for her.

Was I _in love _with her at one point? _If I looked at the words the way I was raised to consider them, then my answer would be no. _

...But, is it not possible to love more than one person at the same time, in very similar, yet different ways? I don't know if anyone really has the answer to that question. _ I know I sure as fuck didn't._

The words, _'in love'... _Did they truly mean what each and every person individually wanted them to mean? Were they solely meant for one couple?

Were they just two words, meshed together, and built-up so high, just to define something?

In a sense, weren't all words just words? They all described nothing, and everything. A name. A thing. A feeling. A place. _'Oh, I'm in love with that car...', _or '_Oh, that's my favorite story, I am in love with this character...' _The words were thrown around so easily by many. To be in-love... _if _it was meant for only one person... then my answer would always be Bella. _Only _Bella.

But what if it _wasn't _meant for just one single person? I know a lot of people that have best friends, that include them in everything, just as I did mine. In a sense, we're all in love with multiple people. We love our parents, our grandparents. Cannot imagine a world without them, though we know one day, it's going to come. We love our friends, our confidantes, our co-workers, our peers...

But there's normally one friend whom you love more than the others... not quite as a partner in life, but as a partner in crime, at least... That person, for me, was Alice.

Did I ever wonder if a time would come when Bella and I would never again be together? That'd I'd have to one day, learn to go on without her? _Of course. Though it terrified me to even consider, I had to at least acknowledge the possibility._

Did I think, _'Hey, maybe Alice and I... can one day be...' _No, I can't say I actually thought that in my mind. But now, I'm sure that she has. She made that very clear tonight.

If I played that game right now, _Word Association_, where someone says a word, and you're supposed to answer with the first thing your brain thinks, I know all of my answers would be Bella. _Happiness_? Bella. _Love_? Bella. _Future_? Bella. _Forever_? Bella.

But, again, in the spirit of fuck-all honesty, _Bella _was also a synonym for all the things I hated of the past four years as well. When I thought of someone moving on. When I thought of anger. When I thought of resentment, fear, alcohol, drugs, sex, women, using people, hurting, lying, cheating, avoidance, abandonment...

Now, was it fair to feel this way about her now? _No, absolutely not._ I've accepted her shadows, just as she has accepted mine.

I asked her to marry me for one reason: She was my one. I could never, fucking ever breathe without her. I could never imagine a sunset, or a blue sky, or a starry night, without her silhouette standing beneath it. Isabella Marie was the only reason why I was placed upon this earth, and I truly believe that with all of my might. If God put every single human on earth to be a mirror image of Himself, then in a way, the theory would make sense that if all humans mirror Him than all humans also mirror each other... or they're supposed to, anyway.

If I'd never met Bella before this day, and we were standing in the largest crowd in history, I believe with everything I am that I would not stop searching until I stood face to face with her. _She _is my mirror image. I don't see anyone else but her when I open my eyes and look -- not even my own reflection. It's always been her, since I was fifteen years old. _Bella, Bella, Bella_. Every choice, every decision, every road, every song, every poem, every glance, every breath... it's all been about her, or for her. Both the sour and the sweet.

That's what makes a life with her so amazing. The ugly has made me appreciate the beautiful. Which is why I told her that I'd go through every shitty moment again; just to stand next to her, hold her hand, see her smiling face, and walk side by side in the same direction as her, to the very end. .

So... now in the present, where did Alice come in to all of this? Do I just throw her under the bus, now that Bella came back? Was she just as important to me now as while Bella was gone? _I can't say that she was, because all my hidden thoughts were about my Bella_. Was she a close second? _Possibly, in a way. Quite possibly. But I cannot say a complete yes._

If we _could _have multiple soul mates, in a friend _and _a separate lover sense, then yes, Bella and Alice would both be mine. Both are so important in my life, but for very different reasons and in different amounts. Bella was always more, would always be more. But that fact was simple.

There was only one soul mate. And I did not belong to Alice. I did not belong to myself. I was Bella's. One hundred percent.

I do know that, _Bella aside_, I was closer to Alice than any other person. Which made all of these ideas that much harder to deal with. Which made the conversation we had to have that much harder to plan.

But I knew it had to be done, because I knew who I wouldn't survive losing. And that was my wife.

I didn't know what I was going to say to her. I didn't know what I felt myself when it came to Alice, as far as all the other senses and where my thoughts were leading...

I knew that Bella was for me, but if I were being honest with myself, I couldn't imagine my life without my best friend in it. Even though I realize not all friendships last as people grow up, Alice has been with me since I was three years old. All I've ever known is her as my friend...

...My thoughts continued as I unwillingly drifted off.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I fell into a deep dreamless slumber, and hadn't even realized it.

Eventually, I woke up in a sweaty panic. Scared. Worried.

...I needed clarity. I needed comfort. I needed my wife.

No, no, more than that. I _wanted _my wife. Here. With me. Now. She was the answer to mending me. And I felt I needed to mend her as well.

Rolling over, I noticed the bed was empty of her body, but Cora Corona was, in stead, settled in Bella's place. The bedroom door was cracked, but it had been closed earlier. She must have let Cora in here but stayed on the couch. _Why the fuck was she still on the couch? I never told her I wanted to be alone. I'm Edward fucking Cullen. I don't _do _alone._

Rubbing my eyes, I dragged ass into the living room, and brought Cora along with me. I found Bella and Spendor curled up beneath a crocheted quilt, asleep. That dog... I loved him, but he was pissing me off lately. He had her more than I did some nights, with our damn work schedules. It wasn't fair. I was jealous of my own damn dog.

"Bella," I whispered, gently shaking her awake. Spendor growled at me, but I snapped my fingers at him, and he quit. "Bella," I said again, into her ear. "Love ...wake up please."

She nuzzled and lifted her head, her eyes full of sleep, "What is it?"

"Why are you on the couch?"

"I thought you'd want some alone t-"

"I always want you with me, Bella."

She smiled and sat up slowly, petting Spendor when he'd whimper. He didn't like being moved. He was about as cranky she was her when it came to losing sleep. I bent down and grabbed her hips, lifting her in the air. She threw her legs and arms around me, ignoring the remote and the cover that fell onto the floor between us.

I was careful when laying her down on the bed. It was so hard to not topple over on to her and rip her clothes off, but with the belly more exposed, I couldn't do that. _Ohh, but I wanted to_.

"Edward," she said, running her fingers through my sweaty hair. "What's the matter wi-"

"I need you," I whispered, pushing her shirt toward her breasts. "I need you right now-"

Her hand stopped mine from pushing her shirt any further, and she bit her lip, looking up at me.

"What is it?"

She shrugged, breaking eye contact with me. "I've gained weight and you can really tell. My stomach is a basketball, and... It's bad now, and-"

"Bella," I sighed, shaking my head slowly. "You're perfect to me."

"But the b-"

"The baby is fine, your stomach is beautiful... _You're _beautiful..." I looked into her eyes, begging silently.

When that didn't work, I decided to say the words out loud, exasperatedly. "..._Please _just be with me. I _need_ you, Bella."

I had to have her. I had to shove everything aside, and just be _Edward_, and have her just as _Bella_. Immediately.

She studied the need in my eyes, and it must have been pretty fucking obvious. I was hurting for her. Aching, again. Sex was one of those things that couples did -- or at least I did -- when words just weren't enough to express the feelings. I had to make sure she knew that she was irreplaceable to me. Just in case she had doubts. _She shouldn't have any doubts._

"Okay," she whispered, lifting her hand from my wrist.

I did my best to move slowly when I undressed her. But, it didn't work out the way I'd hoped. I kissed every inch of skin as I revealed it. My hands grew a mind of their own. The more I focused on the buttons, the more my brain told me to rip them off. Bella's fingers reached the waistband of my pants, and she lowered them, helping me kick them off. Skin on skin was what I thought I needed to make everything negative go away. But then, once I was fully inside of her, I realized that skin _inside _of skin was the real desire.

I panted and pushed my face into her neck, holding myself still, careful to hold my weight above her. I pressed my lips to her left ear, absorbed her familiar smell, and kissed the lobe delicately. I whispered gently, "Thank you so much, Baby."

"For what?" she asked, curling her face into me... creating more warmth. She wound her finger around a lock of my hair.

"For loving me the way you do," I replied softly. "For your understanding. Especially now."

Pushing my face back a bit, she grasped it with her fingers, making me look at her. The curtains were wide open, and the Seattle skyline with all of it's beauty and blue midnight lights reflected iridescently in her eyes. "Edward," she said, thumb grazing my bottom lip, "I love you the only way I know how: I love _all _of you."

I bent forward a bit, and we kept our eyes open as I kissed her lips. Bella hummed, her fingers running from my shoulders, down the curve of my back.

"Stay looking at me," I whispered, as I started to move in and outside of her. "Don't take your eyes off of mine, please."

"Okay," she nodded, giving her body over to me. "I won't."

_And she was perfectly mine, all over again. _

I didn't rush this. I didn't try anything new. Because it wasn't about sex tonight. This was about more... Raw passion and necessity. Because making love to my wife was a necessity to me.

It amazed me, how my eyes seemed to refocus on her... Every day, as if I were seeing her for the first time... Kissing her cherry lips... Breathing in her beauty... Sharing her body with her.

I didn't care that my arms started to burn after a while, from holding myself up. I didn't care that there were likely that ten perverted men could be standing in their windows with binoculars, jerking off to the sight of us. All I wanted was to pay attention to was her. I made it my mission to get lost in Bella. To listen to her breathing, her moans, her requests of me. This would never get old. I would never grow tired of her.

She arched her back and drug her legs up my sides, giving me a different, much deeper angle. It was hard work, not letting my eyes flutter shut. But at the same time, I couldn't close them if I wanted to. She was too important to me.

I would be a complete ass if I pretended that I hadn't been with other women. But making love to my wife, to my beautiful Bella, was a wholly other experience. Anything and everything I had done before her and without her was empty, shadows in the dark.

I'm not necessarily a religious person. I classify myself more spiritual than anything. But, this…. between Bella and I, sharing ourselves with each other…this was light and life of an almost-religious experience. Bella filled me, completed me in a way I had stopped hoping for years ago.

I dropped a little lower and balanced myself on my left arm, while my right hand slipped beneath her neck and lifted her face to mine. Bella cooed in approval as my tongue danced along hers. But again, we didn't close our eyes. I had to see her. To remind myself that she was real, she was here, she was my wife, and she was mine.

Because I never wanted to just _expect _her to be here. I didn't want to ever take her for granted. Each day, I should feel lucky to have her, and remember that I didn't deserve her. Each moment given, and I was blessed again.

"Edward," she cried, her fingers grasping my face again, "I'm so close."

"Mmmm," I whispered, kissing her top lip, "I've got you."

She whimpered, her face looking almost fearful for a moment. And then she smiled, and grasped me tighter to her. I would have given anything to know what she was thinking in that moment.

Sweat slid between our bodies, and in the very dim blue lights, I noticed a flush crawl across her beautiful breasts, and up along her neck. I wanted to lick it with my tongue, but I couldn't peel my eyes from her glorious face. I could taste her sweet skin just by breathing her in.

"Almost," she whispered between pants, pulling me down closer to her with her heels. "Don't stop. I don't want you to ever leave me again."

I stilled for a very brief second when I heard her say that. _What?!_

"Please don't leave me," she said again, shaking her head slowly. She was smiling, but it was an almost fearful smile. Her voice was lower, too.

_Fuck me. Does she think... Oh, hell no._

_You need to clear this shit up real quick, you stupid bastard._

Slowing down, I pushed my forehead to hers. "Look at me. Open your eyes wider, and really _look _at me."

"Okay," she whimpered, swallowing hard. She did as I asked, and our bodies felt more connected than they had ever before.

"Do you see me?"

"Y-Yes."

"Do you feel me?"

"Yes."

"I am _here_. I am not going anywhere."

She started trembling, "It's so hot in here."

But her hands, her fingers kept guiding my hips, moving me in and out of her. Slowly, but surely. Repetitively.

I didn't lose momentum, but I didn't lose the importance of this, either. "Listen to me, Bella. _Hear_ my words. Do you understand me?"

"Y-Yes," she said, nodding.

"Say it."

"You're not leaving me."

"Say it again."

"You're not leaving me, Edward.."

"I _won't _leave you, say it and mean it. _Ever_."

"You won't leave me, Edward. Ever."

That time, I knew she meant it. I heard it in her voice. The strength there once again. _Thank God._

I felt my orgasm coming on hard, and I pushed it aside for as long as possible. I kept our fingers intertwined. Tonight had a purpose.

"I love you so fucking much," I said, kissing her forehead. "Don't doubt me."

"I won't," she gasped, meeting my hips with her own. "Ohhhh..."

A few more thrusts, and Bella's hit fast, however, and it won me over. I couldn't hold back after feeling her muscles clench around me. I released powerfully, and ground my teeth together, letting myself go. But again, I couldn't pull my eyes from hers.

We rode our waves in gasps and pants, but clung to each other, passion to passion. It felt amazing, the sensations, the rocking, the connection. But I was almost thankful when it was done, just so I could tell her how I felt. Now was a time for words. It was just as important as the love making.

I lowered my face, and lifted hers up a little, so she looked at me directly. I didn't care that I was spent. Shit needed to be said.

I spoke calmly. "I will never, ever leave you, Bella. You are mine, and I am yours, and these rings and those vows are symbols of that truth. You are the only thing, the only love that I want, and I will make sure that every single person on this planet knows this for the rest of our lives, if they don't already. ...All I ever want from my life is to make _you _happy. _YOU. COME. FIRST_. Please don't have any more doubts about this, ever, _ever _again. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, her warm palm covering my left cheek. "I hear you. I promise. I'm sorry. I just... my hormones, and I got a little scared for a second, but.. . I know you would never pick her over me or any-"

"No, Bella," I shook my head, lifting her face even closer to mine, "you don't get it. It isn't about _picking you_ over anyone else. There is no choosing. There is no other option for me, and I don't want one. Ever. I'd refuse to even _look _for one. I married _you_. I want to spend the rest of my life, with _you_..."

"I know... it was more... about James too, not just Alice... I'm still worried, and scared, and I kept thinking about you being away and him doing what he-"

"He won't hurt you, sweetheart." I had to get her mind off of this. Off of Alice, off of James.

I slid my hand over hers and held it between our heated, naked bodies, on top of her stomach. "Look at this... You and I, we _made _this. Can you believe it? This is us, he is our future. I don't ever, ever, _ever _want to hear you say that sentence to me again, even in the form of a question, even when hormones are raging like crazy. Don't even ask it, Bella. I'm not going anywhere. That was the last time you say that. No more. Promise me, please."

"I promise you, Edward."

"We need to move past all this."

"I know. I promise."

Closing my eyes, I kissed her with as much energy as I had in me. I needed the warmth, the taste, the reminder of what true love was. Because all I saw was Bella when I thought about it.

After we settled down, she tried to apologize to me, explaining that she was happy that Alice finally told me how she felt, but she worried momentarily that I had realized I had similar feelings for her. I didn't want Alice coming between us. I didn't want James coming between us. I didn't want to hear apologies. She had nothing to be sorry for. This was my fault, and it was crystal clear that both situations needed to be handled immediately. I reassured her again that _she _was my wife, and that our marriage certificate may as well have been chiseled in stone.

She smiled as she pulled away from me, climbing out of bed and heading to the bathroom. I walked outside to the patio to smoke a cigarette.

A few moments later, she met me out there and pressed herself against the back of me, bare skin to bare skin again. _Home_.

"Edward?" Bella said, as we looked across the skyline.

"Mmm?"

"...I have a favor to ask."

"All right."

"...Say you know that I'll never leave you either. Say it for the last time as well, that way we never have to have this conversation again, on _both _ends. No more insecurities, no more worries... No more."

I smiled, tossed my cigarette butt away, and then turned to face her. "You won't ever leave me, Bella."

"I won't," she reassured me, snuggling against my chest. "I won't."

"I know," I smiled. "And I want you to know something. I'm ripping the bandaid off tomorrow with Alice. She's going to know the truth."

"And what is the truth?" she asked, so innocently. _Damn, she was adorable._

"You're my one, Bella. Not Alice. Not anyone else. Not ever."

"Okay.." she bit her lip, nervously. "So.. Case closed, then?"

Chuckling, I nodded, as sleep threatened to take me down, "Case closed."

She smiled at me.

"Let's get some rest, pretty girl... We've got a big day tomorrow."

"Mmm," she said, pulling me all-too-sexy-like back into the bedroom. "One more round first?"

I laughed, pulling her in my arms. "You are _killing _me. Do you know how late it i-"

"Please?" she batted her lashes and pulled me down toward her on the bed.

One look at her, seeing her bare, beautiful, and mine, and I was lost.

"Okay..." I sighed with a grin. "One more round."

"Perfect," she mumbled against my lips.

_And perfect we were again._

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I yawned and rubbed my stomach, entering the kitchen to find Colleen sitting on the counter, in what looked to be a really long shirt and nothing else, with a box of graham crackers between her legs.

"Je-Sus," I said, shaking my head. "Are you wearing anything behind that box?"

"I wouldn't be sitting on your counter with my bare ass," she giggled. "You _do _have to eat here."

"I wouldn't put it past you _or _Makin to bang around the kitchen, or anywhere else I don't want to think about."

"Awe, what's the matter, grumpy," she replied. "Not getting any lately?"

My bedroom door swung open, and Colleen's mouth dropped, as she watched a girl emerge from that room, into the bathroom, in nothing but a towel.

I smirked at her and pulled the butter out of the fridge.

"Guess not." she muttered.

"You guessed appropriately," I said, grabbing a loaf of bread from behind her. "What are you and Makin doing today?"

"Makin is too busy being a responsible adult, taking care of work crap, while I am planning on lots of shopping. For lingerie and high heels, mostly. Maybe a new purse. Who's the blonde?"

"Her name is Nicolette."

"Oooh, is she French? Or from somewhere foreign, perhaps?"

"Not sure... but she _was _speaking in unfamiliar tongues last night."

She giggled, tossing a graham cracker at me, "you're sick. How'd you two meet?"

"We went to school together. Ran into each other again at Smitty's late last night... things escalated quickly from there."

"_Obviously_. It's not like Jasper Whitlock to bring home random bar sluts."

"She's not a slut," I said lightly, giving her a knowing look. "And be respectful while she's here, please."

"My bad," she said with a sarcastic laugh. "Was she fun?"

"Mmhmm..."

"Are you going to ask her for... another... _date_?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because. I don't like it when gorgeous, southern men are single... Makes me wonder if they're turning gay. It creeps me out. There's just no reason for a sexy man like yourself to not have a woman."

"And what if I was considering being gay?"

"Jasper. We all know you're not."

"Then why does it worry you," I said, more of a statement than a question.

"Guess it doesn't," she shrugged nonchalantly. "So... Talked to Bella lately?"

"Mmhmm. She texted me this morning. Said her and Edward got a house. They meet with the Lauren today to sign the paperwork. Money's already been handled."

"No shit?" she scoffed. "The little bitch didn't text _me _yet."

"She asked me to tell you. She knew you were here."

"Ugh! Why couldn't she just forward the text she sent you to me?"

"I don't know. Why do women have to blow everything simple way the hell out of proportion?"

Colleen remained silent, choosing not to fight with me.

I smiled to myself. She was very smart.

"So," she said, changing the subject again. "...Talk to Alice lately?"

"Saw her the night before last. She looked healthier. Still upset and stressed, but I could tell she had eaten. So that's good."

"Did she say much to you?"

"Not really... We exchanged slight smiles, and that was it."

"How biased," she stated. "You two are meant to be t-"

"_Colleen_," I hissed, as Nicolette emerged from the bathroom, and headed back into my bedroom, "please. Don't."

"Sheesh, sorry," she muttered. "Forgot the bar sl- ... Uh... Forgot the _leggy blonde _was here."

"She is. Stop with the Alice nonsense. It's over."

"One question... Are you _positive _it's completely over?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"That's two questions."

"Just tell me why."

"_Because_," I exhaled, annoyed, buttering my toast, "she needs help with her problems, she's attached to someone she cannot have. I'm still trying to get over Bella. She has to focus on her next step, I have to focus on teaching my first year here, and we're both on _very _different roads."

Snakily, she stated, "Then what were you two doing together in the first place?"

I glared at her.

"Just a question," she said innocently, raising her hands in the air.

"That's your third question. You were only promised lee-way for one."

"Please?" she pushed out her bottom lip. "Please tell me."

I rolled my eyes and took a bite of my toast. "We were lonely," I answered simply.

"Lonely?" she repeated. "That's the best you could come up with?"

"Yeah. There was an attraction, of course. She needed to get over someone, I needed to get over someone. I didn't want to see her hurting, she didn't want to see me hurting. We helped each other out, clicked in the process, sexual vibes surfaced, feelings started boiling because of the close proximity. We convinced ourselves it was love when it was lust, got swept up way too deep too fast for both of our liking. I showed her things sexually, she showed me things emotionally. She had me convinced that I could be some hopeless romantic, I had her convinced that I was what she needed... and we were both lying sacks of shit, basically, and she called it quits because she didn't want to hurt me. And, I agreed because I didn't _want _her to hurt me either, and I would be a _really _shitty person if I was just another man on her list that hurt her too." I exhaled, shaking my head.

Colleen's mouth was hanging open, "Whoa... That was wayyyy too much to process this early in the morning."

"Then you shouldn't have asked me," I said, shoving the butter back into the fridge, "tell Makin I'm busy and to refrain from knocking on my door when he gets up."

"Aye-aye, Casanova," she rolled her eyes.

"And stop eating all my damn graham crackers! You ate my last box, I know you did."

"They're good!" she called after me as I opened my door. "You buy a better kind than I do... Alyssa likes 'em too."

"That's because I only eat the best shit."

"Be sure to pass that on to the French girl before sh-"

I closed the door before she finished her sentence, and smiled at the naked blonde beneath my silk chocolate sheets.

She smiled back. That was all the incentive I needed, as I climbed in beside her and pulled her back into my arms.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

When I woke up this morning, I found Edward hovering over me, staring and smiling.

He continued to smile at me after I climbed out of the shower, and as we got ready in front of the mirror.

...Then it continued while we were eating breakfast.

It was as if he had this amazing joke he couldn't get out of his head, but wouldn't share it with me.

By the time we got into the car, Victor seated in the backseat, I thought I was going to go crazy. All he'd do was kiss the back of my hand, which was held firmly in his, and smile against my skin. "Edward," I said, shaking my head, "you're really freaking me out."

"_Why_?" he asked, for the thousandth time. "Why is it so weird that I am in a good mood? Today's exciting!"

"I know it is, but... I think your face is going to stick in that position if you don't relax your mouth."

He turned to look at me, and the devil was written in his eyes, "My mouth has been in lots of positions for long periods of time... I didn't hear you complaining about it last night."

I closed my eyes, listening to Victor chuckle under is his breath in the backseat of the Volvo. "Let's not reveal all our secrets, shall we?"

"Sorry, Love."

I glared at him.

"I _am_," he smirked, proving he wasn't truly. The he leaned toward me, and lowered his voice, "I won't be a bad boy for the rest of the day."

_I really need to stop giving him so much sex. It's eating away his brain function and making room for his overgrown ego. _"I'm sure you won't be."

"I mean, honestly, can you blame me? Pull down that visor, flip open that mirror, and _look _at yourself! I'd be a fool if I didn't go crazy over you."

"Isabella," Victor smirked, leaning between us, "what our Edward is trying to explain is, now that you're pregnant, your raging hormones are rubbing off on him. It happens. Trust me, it wasn't so long ago that I remember his gr-"

"Ohhhh, okay, we don't need to hear about all that," Edward chuckled, waving his grandfather off, "Christ. Give me some time to swallow a few Screwdrivers before you bring that shit up."

"Edward, come on. If your grandparents didn't have sex, then Carlisle wouldn't be here.... then you wouldn't be here, and then Masen wouldn't be coming."

"She's got a point, son."

"Mind your own business, old man."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Okay," Lauren said as she slid the papers across the table toward us, "all I need is your signature where the red X's are, and then we can go see your exciting purchase."

My hand shook as I steadied the pen over the paper. "This is a really big house, Edward."

"I know," he rubbed my back.

"My house can fit inside of it."

"Mmhmm," he signed his name and flipped the page.

"It's going to be a lot of electricity, a lot of-"

"Bella, Sweetheart," Edward turned to look at me, and gave the award-winning smile, "Just sign it. It's okay."

I bit my lip, "How are we going to sell my house?"

"We'll talk about that on the way over."

"What do you mean?"

"I have an idea I'll discuss with you then."

I rubbed my hand over my nervous stomach, and swallowed heavily. "Are we sure, one hundred percent positive that we can handle this load?"

"Yes, Baby."

"Are we sure we can handle the bills included?"

"Yes, Angel."

"Are we sure we can handle the finances when something breaks or needs serious repairs?"

"Yes, Sweetheart," he continued, in that damn sing-song voice.

"Are we capable of doing the decorating and all of that?"

"Yes, Wifey. Sign the damn papers."

"Okay," I said, signing quickly.

"Remember to write _Cullen_."

"I will."

Edward smirked, "I bet you wrote _Isabella Marie Cullen_ in your notebooks in school, didn't you?"

"No. Just my journal."

"I figured. All girls growing up were psycho stalkers."

"I do remember _you_ climbing in _my_ bedroom window a lot more than I did yours."

"Well, that's because..." He thought for a second. "Shut up!"

Victor asked Lauren to step outside for a minute.

I turned to Edward, "It's true!"

"Well, that's because you'd sneak into your bathroom and call me, '_Edward, I need you. Come over and make out with me'_."

I nudged him with my elbow, "I did NOT say it like that!"

"Yes you did. You were horny for me every night back in school."

We continued signing. My hand was starting to hurt. "Whatever! You were the one asking for all the blow jobs."

"Well you were willing to give! I was a teenage boy! And they were good then but their fucktastic now."

"I'm glad I sucked back then but have greatly improved."

"Oh you sucked very well back then."

"Shut up, they're right outside!" I hissed.

"You brought it up!"

"I did not."

"So did."

I glared at him, "Be-have."

"Oh-kay," he said, stealing a kiss on my cheek.

"You irritate me."

"I know," he did it again. "You love me though."

"And you love me back," I sighed. "How many more damn papers are there? Jesus."

"Of course I do. And, at least twenty more, I'd say."

"Oh God.... Can we get some ice cream after this?"

He smirked, "Masen talking?"

"No, Bella's doing the talking today, but I'm sure he'll vote for it too."

"Sure. We can get some," he leaned into me, dragging his nose across my neck, "Baby?"

"Mmmm?" I smiled, flipping the page over.

"You make me so happy."

I turned to face him.

"You do," he whispered into my lips. "I haven't stopped smiling since last night. Well... since you came back to me, but a _lot _since last night."

"Are you sucking up right now? What did you do?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "Nothing. Just being honest. Now kiss me, fool."

I did, and the door swung open. We quickly parted.

"Well, glad to see they got a lot of work done," Victor chuckled. "Never leave hormonal newlyweds in a room together by themselves."

"Dually noted," Lauren teased.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I woke up in Alice's bed, feeling something on my leg.

For a moment, I thought Alice woke up and was dry humping me. I got really excited.

But when I dropped my hand and realized I was touching way too much fucking hair for any woman to have, I realized...

"Holy shit!" I shouted, moving back, "Edward! Your fucking mutt is humping my leg!"

"He's not here," Alice grumbled beside me in the pillow. "Just kick Spendor out."

"Where the fuck is Edward?"

"I think they went to do the house crap."

"How do you know? Did you talk to him?"

"No, he left a note on the white board by the door."

"Oh," I nudged the little devil dog off of the bed, "that little dog is crazy."

She giggled and shook her head. "He likes you, Em."

"Shut up. I'm not gay, Spendor."

"You're so gay. Spendor calls it like he sees it."

"He needs to check himself. Quick."

"Oh, leave the dog alone," she rolled over and climbed out of the bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To brush my teeth, pee, and take a shower."

"Can I join you?"

"In the shower?"

"To brush my teeth. But yeah, if you're offering."

She looked back at me, furrowing her brows.

I grinned at her.

"Okay," she sighed. "Stay on your side though."

"You're kidding, right?" I said, crawling off the bed, "You're actually gonna let me come in there?"

"You can take a shower, but you're definitely not coming."

"Dammit," I hissed. "You little cock teasing bitch."

"You like it," she said. "But seriously. We're dimming the lights, and you're on one side, and I'm on the other."

"Dimming the lights? How romantic."

"I mean it, Em. I'm just doing this because Edward's been locking his bedroom door lately, and you have to go with me to town, and there's no other shower."

"Mmhmm. You want to see my dick, don't lie."

"Everyone's seen it, Em. You're the one who likes to get drunk and streak at parties."

"Don't knock it until you try it sugar," I said, climbing in after her. "Give me the damn soap."

"Get it yourself. Strict no touching policy here."

"You can't even pass me a bar of _soap_?" I asked, as I brushed my teeth in the shower.

She wouldn't even turn to face me, and I barely saw her silhouette, "I definitely cannot."

"What's the matter, Alice?" I spat toward the drain. "Afraid of getting slippery while wet?"

"Ohhhh, you know me so well," she grumbled. "Four feet apart at all times."

"Yes ma'am. I'm still peeking though."

"Imagine my surprise."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"You know," Emmett scratched his head as we walked down Candlelight Turnpike, "It's going to be weird not going toward the apartment after these two weeks."

"_The Escala_ will live on."

"I cannot believe you guys are both moving out."

"It's a six-month contract," I sighed. "A dry-erase note left for me today was a kind gesture on Edward's asshole part to say, 'Hey Alice, I'm moving out in two weeks. Let me know if you need help finding a place if you cannot afford this one'. Classy."

"He doesn't know how to talk to you right now."

"Whatever. Oh, did I tell you Jasper is looking into renting our place? Bella told me the other day."

"No," he smirked. "He lives in a rinky-ass, cheap apartment building down in the ghetto. How the fuck would he afford it? He's not well-off like you and E."

"Apparently, rumor has it that he knows a few people -- _two of them being girls_ -- who need roommates."

"Ouch. Two girls huh? That's gotta suck to hear."

"Mmhmm." I shrugged.

"What about Makin?"

"Getting a place with Colleen next month. Had it planned for a couple months now."

"Colleen," he exhaled, rubbing his stomach, "yummy."

"Shut up! _God_! You can't go two minutes without thinking about sex."

He laughed, shaking his head, "I swear, that girl... She's so down to earth. Makin got lucky there. I mean, she seems so familiar. Probably just because she's friends with Bella, and they act alike."

"Could be," I shrugged. "I never really got a chance to know her other than when Jasper and I were together. She's sweet."

"Yeah," he turned his head and smiled sweetly at me. "You're sweeter, though."

"Shut up," I nudged him as we turned the corner.

"You are," he said. "I don't lie."

I shook it off as we kept walking, and tugged on his shirt, "I like your shirt today, Emmett. Your little red and orange plaid one... It's cute."

"Thanks," he chuckled. "You got it for me for Christmas."

"That's why I like it."

He checked me out, in my grey zip-up jacket, black tank top, mini-jean shorts, and comfy boots. "You need bigger britches. I'm going to have to cover your ass when we get deeper into town."

"Mind your own business. I need to be checked out today."

"Why?" he laughed.

"Self-esteem booster."

"You won't think that when you get a man elbowed in the jaw for checking you out in front of me."

I laughed, "Stop being the big brother, queerbait."

"It's not about being a big brother."

"Whatever. It's in your nature."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After about fifteen minutes of a steady walk, we stared up at a tall brick building, and I felt my stomach inside of my chest.

"Are you ready for this?" Emmett exhaled, grabbing my hand.

"No."

"All you've got to do is take is a few more steps..."

My body started trembling as I looked at the writing on the glass door. "I don't know if I can do it Emmett... It was one thing to talk about it to you last night... It's another to actually go through with this."

He turned and pulled me into his chest, wiping a few tears from my cheeks. "I want you _well_, Alice. You've got to talk to someone, and as much as I love being there for you... I really think that this is where you need to do the talking. Get some of this out so that you can move on from it."

"I'm scared," I said, closing my eyes. "I know you're here, and I'm thankful, but... All I keep thinking is, _'I wish Edward was here with us'_. I don't know why. I know it wouldn't change anything, but I still want him here. Regardless of all the stupid bullshit, he's my friend too, and we're supposed to support each other."

"I know," he said, kissing the top of my head. "It's going to be okay though, I promise you. I'll be your support, okay? If anything looks shady, we'll bolt... But she's a high-class woman, Al. Really smart. I think she'll help you out. She's got great references, wonderful background."

"It's not about that... I just don't know if I can talk about these things that I tell you... I don't even tell you that much!"

"The point is, you asked me for help last night, and we're going to do it the right way. Come on, baby. I'm right here with you. I promise, I'll help you through this."

"What if she tells me I'm crazy," I whimpered. "What if she tells me I'm psycho and need to be locked up. What if-"

"She won't. She's only here to advise."

"I just..." I cried, trying to steady my breath. "I don't know if I'm strong enough for this."

"You _are_."

"How do you know?!"

"Because we've made it this far. This is the second time you've asked for help. You _want _help, Ally. So let's get you some."

I pushed my face into his chest, "I _need _help."

"See? You can do this."

"No," I shook my head. "I mean... You've got to push me in the building or something. I can't."

He chuckled, "I'm not going to do that. You can't be forced into this. So...We're going to walk together... Come on... Let's take baby steps."

He twisted us around and linked us side by side, "One..."

We took a step, "Good. ...Two..."

Another slow one, "Three... I'm proud of you."

One more step.

My body shook so damn much, I thought I was going to have a seizure. All I kept thinking about was how the door seemed to stretch further and further away from me.

"Four..."

I nodded, as he opened the door, but kept me attached to him, "Step up..."

I did, noticing the ground change from sidewalk to white linoleum.

"There," he whispered in my ear as we took another step, "...Look at you, Miss Braveheart... Look at you walking now. Whoo-Wee!"

"Let's just do it," I said, clutching his hand, "before I run out."

He held my hand all the way into the office, until we met the young man behind the glass window.

"Hello," I said, shaking. "M-My name is Alice Brandon. I'm here..."

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath. "I'm here to see Mrs-_Doctor_ ...uh.. Mrs. C-Cabot."

"Alright," he said. "Is this your first time visiting?"

I nodded, keeping my eyes closed. _You're okay, Alice. Breathe._

"And the reason behind your visit today?" he asked as I heard him stick some papers into a clipboard.

I shivered, trying to remember how to inhale.

Emmett rubbed my back, comforting me as much as he could. I knew he wouldn't speak for me. At least he was letting me know he was here.

"Ma'am?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

"Eating disorder," I said weakly. "Emotional distress... Abandonment issues... Self-mutilation... You name it, I've got it or done it."

I looked up at him, shrugging sourly, embarrassed. "Basically," I said, tears streaming down my face, "I'm going crazy."

He shook his head, giving me a warm smile, "Everyone thinks that they're crazy. You'd be surprised how many learn that they aren't."

"How do you know I'm not crazy?" I practically snapped, though I meant it to sound a lot more light-hearted than it actually came out.

He grinned politely, remained calm, and slipped the papers beneath the opening of the glass wall, followed by a pen, "...The crazy ones don't ask for help."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Bella squealed louder with each passing mile that moved us closer to the house. _Our _house.

I guessed she was no longer nervous about the funding by the way she was bouncing in the passenger seat.

I found her quite adorable. I think I told her a few times as well.

"Oh my gosh," she said, turning toward the backseat, "Victor, I know I've said this a gazillion times, but thank you so much for helping us! I can't remember the last time I was ever this excited!"

"Uh, hopefully when you married me," I teased, giving her a playful wink.

"That came in a close second," she joked back, running her fingers through the back of my hair. "But this... this is a _house_. Our house. My dream house!"

"I know," I chuckled, "but we're not there yet, baby love."

She inhaled. Though the windows were up and the AC was full blast, filling the Volvo with manufactured air, she smiled and cooed, "I can almost smell the newness of it. Can you smell it, Edward?"

"You're funny," I laughed, shaking my head. "I only smell the leather inside this car."

"Can you drive a little faster?"

"I'm going ten over."

"When has Edward Cullen _ever _gone slower th-"

"Since your body turned into a cozy, beautiful, rounding, loving, oh-so-sexy incubator."

"...Oh," she said, then slumped into the seat.

I lifted and kissed the inside of her wrist. "I promise you, we'll be there in a few more minutes."

Taking a left, we turned onto a narrow, blacktop road, surrounded by trees on the outskirts of Seattle. Bella sat straight up, looking out the window. "Wow... it's like Forks all over again out here..."

"I know. It's a home away from home."

"I love it."

We pulled up toward a security gate, and Lauren leaned forward, showing the man her badge. He nodded and buzzed us in, and we kept moving the next three miles, winding around, enjoying the tall Sequoia trees, the variety of colors, the smell of fresh grass...

It sure gave living in _The Escala _ new perspective... As well as Bella's house in a crowded suburb.

I didn't realize how much I missed slight seclusion until we came back to it. Then I felt a little homesick for Forks.

Eventually, we ended up in front of a wrought-iron gate, and met another security guard. We told him who we were, that he was now working for us. He was a gracious man, telling us to meet him later to give him new codes for all the gates whenever we had extra time.

Pulling down our drive, I felt my hand shaking. As I was clutching Bella's hand in mine, I didn't know if she was causing it, or if I was.

"Is it possible to physically drown from feeling such intense emotion?" she asked softly.

"No. Though I have wondered about that myself, sometimes. I know it can't be possible. If it was, I'd be at the bottom of the abyss by now."

She brought our joined hands up to her lips and kissed my thumb, her eyes the size of saucers as we drove through what was now our beautiful vista toward the house. Our house. Our scenery.

"Ours," she whispered shakily as we pulled into the circle drive, and climbed out of the car, next to the stone water fountain. "All ours."

I ran around and grabbed her hand, suddenly very excited, "Come on, Baby."

She allowed me to pull her down the lane and around the sidewalk, across the hand-made stone bridge crossing the colorful stream, and up toward the front door. Then she jumped in my arms, and I was practically thrown toward the door.

It turned me on something awful.

"Bella, Baby," I chuckled as she kissed me and then hummed, "what are you doing? Victor and Lauren are coming in here, too."

"I know," she sighed. "But you've got to carry me in. I'm your new wife, remember?"

"You're my _only _wife," I chuckled as I turned, unlocked the door, and then adjusted her body to lay bridal-style in my arms. "Ready for this?"

"As long as we are together, I am ready for anything."

I smirked and kissed her cheek, ignoring my grandfather cracking jokes about me being a pussy-whipped newlywed to our realtor. I carried her through, into the grand foyer.

_...Cue audible gasp._

As soon as I set her on her feet, Bella's white teeth slipped across her bottom lip, and she turned to me with a radiant smile.

It wasn't the smell of the fresh, clean, new house that obliterated my senses. It was her. I was quickly as hard as one of millions of rocks that covered our property.

_I wanted to taste her beautiful face._

It was a strange reaction, but I did. And when I stepped forward to actually fucking do it, Victor slipped between us, holding a very young, blonde realtor's hand. _Fucking cock blocking old-time player. _"Well," he grinned, giving me a knowing, _don't go there_ look, "isn't this something? Wow! Look at this, Edward."

I glared at him and stepped around them, grabbing my wife gently by the forearm and pulling her toward me. "It is. Truly. Come on Bella, let's walk around."

Victor glared at me while I glared back. I pulled her in front of me, making sure to press myself into her back.

I knew what he was thinking. His eyes read something of _'She's pregnant and excited about the house and all you can think about is fucking her until the sun goes down?! Get a grip, you horny ass.'_

So I shot him back an equal expression of, _'She's my goddamn wife, and if I want to fuck her so hard that her body starts audibly begging for me to split it into two, I will, regardless of if you and Lauren are present in the mother fucking room. Is that alright with you?'_

All he did was give me an arrogant smirk and wink in response. I scoffed like a child. Those were _my _expressions. His should be retired, the arrogant ass.

Bella giggled as we turned to the left, ignoring the double staircase in various shades of wood banisters and white glaze, toward the bronzed kitchen. As she walked, her ass rubbed delicately against my dick, teasing me for all she was worth. All I could think about was being inside of it. She ran her polished fingernails down the granite counter top and stared up at the vaulted ceilings. "So beautiful..." she muttered, in awe.

"Mmhmm," I said, listening to Victor and Lauren's echoed discussion in the main room and smiling at the wonderful advantage of seclusion, "do you see that counter there in the middle?"

"Yes," she breathed.

"That's where I plan to sit you, spread your sexy legs, and lick you. Repeatedly."

"Edward!" she gasped, shivering against my frame. "_Behave_."

"Not a chance," I said, grabbing the back pockets of her jeans and jerking her hard against my erection.

Her fingers moved behind her, onto my thighs, and ran around the outside, up toward my own pockets, where she hooked her thumbs in. We were now flush. It made me want her more, if that was possible.

I pushed my face into her hair against the back of her neck and breathed her in, mumbling a jumbled mixture of, "wantyousofuckingmuch."

I couldn't even focus on the damn house. Oh well. It's ours. We own it. I could focus later. Sex was _always _more important.

I turned us around, heading toward the pool table. "And over here... is where I plan to let you play with _my_ balls and stick..." I grinned a devilish grin.

She giggled and shook her head, blushing something fierce, "Oh Edward."

I turned us back, heading down a long hall, toward the utility room. "And here... is where I plan to fuck you on the vibrating dryer..."

She pushed herself into me, and I hissed, because I knew she did that shit on purpose. "Watch it girl, or I will do it right now."

"Whatever. You're all talk," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room, back toward them.

I pulled her back into it, and playfully bit her left earlobe, before whispering, "is that what you think? That I won't do it?"

She pushed into me and shook her head, the little cock tease. "I know you won't."

"Why's that?" I practically growled into her ear.

"We've got people here... The realtor _and _your grandfather!"

"_And_?"

"And so I know you won't with them right there."

I reached my foot past her, kicked the door closed, and jerked her to me playfully, before nibbling against her neck. "You obviously have no idea who you're talking to."

She gasped as I spun her to face me, then turned us around to sit her on top of the dryer. Then her face took on the expression of a nervous, love-struck teenager about to see a dick for the very first time. She must have truly not expected me to do it.

I grabbed the back of her knees and wrapped her legs around my hips, before pressing my mouth to her bottom lip, my fingers finding the seam of her _7 For All Mankind _boot-cut maternity jeans. They were fucking sexy on her new form. _My God_. I loved her pregnant. I loved everything about it. EV-ER-Y-THING.

She inhaled sharply into my mouth as I unzipped her slowly, before reaching down to unzip myself. It was times like that, I was thankful maternity jeans didn't have buttons. One less thing to dick around with.

"Edward," she grasped my shirt, pressing her chest into my blue button down, "are we really going to do this now? If we turn on the dryer then they're going to know."

"To hell with turning on the dryer," I said, lifting her with one arm as I carefully pulled down her jeans with my free hand, making sure to not hurt her. "Save that for later. I can give you all vibrations you need."

Her hands helped me lower my jeans, growing just as needy as I was. "You have to... make this... fast."

I smirked and shook my head, slipping two of my fingers between her legs, feeling the moisture gather there, "I can be fast..."

"Mmm," she gasped as I moved up toward her clit, "I mean it."

"I'm ready when you are, Love."

She grabbed my wrist firmly between us, moved our hands down, and pushed two of mine inside of her, "...I'm ready."

I about came on spot. "Goddamn."

She leaned forward, taking my bottom lip between her teeth, and again I almost jizzed all over the top of the brand new dark pewter Whirlpool machine. I pushed her face into mine and tilted her pelvis, making sure to angle it enough so it'd be comfortable for her. The last thing I wanted was her to get insecure over her stomach. To me, showing belly and all, she was perfect.

...And I thought that when I wasn't horny for her, just for the record.

Oh who in the hell am I kidding? I'm always horny for her. I should invent a self-help group for myself, like AA. _'Horny For Bella Anonymous' _or some shit. Because there was no help for me. And I didn't want help. Which meant I wouldn't be going to those meetings even if they did exist. _Shit_.

"Please," she panted against my forehead as she pulled me flush to her, as far as I could go considering the space we were in, "take me."

I nodded and slowly pushed in, then pulled out. Her head rolled forward, and our eyes locked as I pushed deeper. A couple more thrusts and I was in to the hilt. I let out a groan and trembled, fully sheathed inside this perfect woman. It shouldn't even be allowed. For _anyone_.

Bella grabbed a fistful of my hair and turned my face toward her neck, pushing my mouth to her skin. I smiled, feeling the bans of heat cascade to my nose. I began meeting her hips with my own. She threw her arms around my neck and shoulders, as if she were physically trying to hold me to her. It made thrusting a little difficult from that angle, but after a few readjustments, I hit it, and I hit it good.

So good, in fact, that I had to cover her mouth with my hand.

"Mmmfff," she moaned, breathing heavily through her nose.

I pulled away for a second, just to make sure I wasn't hurting her, but then a wicked moan glorified in echoes around the utility room, ringing in my ears and going straight to my groin.

"Ohhhh, _Ed_ward."

I smiled as I covered her mouth again, and heard our two guests entering the kitchen, talking about the glazed cherry wood cabinets.

Bella's fingernails scraped delicately down the back of my neck and again, she pushed my face into her skin, beneath her ear.

So I bit her there. Hard.

And then she _really _fucking moaned. The noises of her, of our bodies, of our breathing... it was all too much.

After licking my fingers, I slipped them back between us and desperately found her spot, throbbing and swollen. I rolled it around, fighting to keep myself quiet.

Her hard nipples were flush against my chest, separated by only thin layers of fabric. Everything about her oozed sex, and I wished I could somehow shrink myself and crawl inside of her body completely, just so I could absorb her entire being. Because I'd do it in a heartbeat.

She moaned again as I started to speed up, her walls gripping tight. I pushed forward a bit, causing her to lean back. That angle sent me deeper, and I practically saw stars and fucking fairies and shit. I threw my head back for a second, gasping cold air, because the crook of her neck was both sexy and steamy.

She hummed, running her hand down my chest, fisting a piece of my shirt and jerking me back to her. God, I fucking loved it when she got all feisty.

My tongue sought hers and found it instantly. I made sure to kiss her the way she wanted, while fucking her the way she wanted.

Our guests were closer still, discussing the pool table down the hall from us. Talking about how they loved the color of the felt.

Bella's fingers wound around a piece of my hair on the top of my head, and then she pulled my head back and bit down on my Adam's apple.

I came, hard and speechless.

She followed me over the edge.

Exhausted, our hands trembled as we struggled to cover ourselves. Just as I pulled her off of the dryer, the door swung open and Lauren's voice echoed in. "And this is their utility- Oh, hi... guys."

Victor's mouth would not close as his eyes bounced from her to me to Bella in ping-pong fashion.

I smirked egotistically, grabbed Bella's hand, and passed by them without saying a word.

I'm sure the smell of fresh, blissful sex was in the air.

They could figure it out from there.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Slurping up spaghetti noodles, I studied Alice's expression from across the table. She was stabbing a meatball with all the gusto of a serial killer.

"So," I said, as I swallowed a mouthful, "...are you going to do your first assignment?"

"Yes," Her voice was barely audible.

"Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow.

She glared at me. "Yes, Emmett, I'm going to do it."

"Do you want me to help you with it? She said it was okay."

"Yeah," she scoffed. "She practically gave you a shiny yellow star."

"Oh come on, don't be a hater. I was there to support you."

"I know," she frowned, tapping the back of my hand. "I'm sorry. I'm just... not processing much of anything right now."

"What do you mean?" I asked, swirling my fork around to gather noodles. "The assignment?"

"What was it again?" she sighed, picking at her garlic toast.

"She said you need to sort through your trash and figure out what's recyclable."

"And what does that mean?"

"Pick out what's important in your life, and what you can toss out. You have to have at least two in the toss-out pile, for each category. She was adamant about that."

"And the categories were Work, Material Possessions, and People, right?"

"Mmhmm," I said, tapping the cute brunette waitress passing by on the arm. "Excuse me... Can I bum a piece of paper from your tablet and a pen?"

"Sure," she smiled down at me, "how much paper do you need?"

"Just one piece."

I watched as she tore two pieces then winked before passing. The first piece had, 'Annette' written on it, with a phone number and a smiley face. _How sweet._

"You cannot go one day, can you?"

"What?" I smiled at Alice.

"You know what. Anyway... Okay. _Work_. I need everything."

"Everything?"

"Yes."

"There's _nothing _you can throw out?"

"No. It's my life."

"Work should never be a person's life, Alice, but we'll skip it for now, because you must think of at least two. _Material Possessions_?"

"Umm... I'm going to need a new place to stay, apparently."

"You can stay with me. What else?"

"I'm not staying with you."

"Why not?" I looked up at her blankly.

"Because I'll cramp your style, and Heather and I hate each other, and it'll just be weird."

"Correction," I stated. "You've never cramped my style unless you wear that stupid hot pink shirt I hate or something. Heather doesn't hate you - you hate her, and how the fuck would it be weird?"

"Because... a girl there while your girlfriend comes over..."

"She's not my girlfriend! You're there all the time, anyway."

"I know, but..." She growled, running her fingers through her shiny locks, "I don't want to be in a guest room across the hall while you're fucking her."

"Okay. I'll put a sock on the door or something. We'll create a system, that way we know when to not be across the hall."

Taking a sip of her wine, she mumbled, "You're missing the point."

"And what is the point?"

"I don't want to cause any problems for anyone else. Especially any couples."

"Alice," I chuckled, running my hand down the back of her forearm, "you're my friend and I love you, and there is no trouble. I want you with me. Besides, we're supposed to be going to that Kings of Leon concert in a few weeks. It'll make it all easier."

"Have you told Heather about that yet?"

"About what?"

"The _concert_, Emmett."

"Why would I tell her? It's you and me going, I don't want her there."

"She'll be pissed to know you're taking me and not her."

"Uh... I made these plans nine fucking months ago."

"What about Edward?"

"Hmm?" I raised my eyebrow.

"He was supposed to be going with Aimee. Remember? Made the plans before we all went to the cabin? He asked her to go with us. I wonder if he's going to get the ticket back and go with Bella now."

"Well, obviously. Why the fuck would he take Aimee? He's married. Bella would shoot his dick off with a machine gun and claw Aimee's tits to shreds with her fingernails."

She rolled her eyes, staring at the napkin dispenser. "...Hey Em?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you like Aimee? For Edward?"

I shrugged, thinking at it. "She was cute. Cuter than Tanya, the little psycho skank whore."

"But did you like her for him?"

Pursing my lips, I thought a little more, "I guess. She was all right. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious... I think she was the only girl of his besides Bella that I didn't despise with a heated passion."

"Well, that's because Aimee was afraid of you," I chuckled. "Remember that time she stayed the night over at my house with you and Edward and she burnt popcorn in the microwave? Set that shit on the wrong temperature or something? That shit fucking stunk so bad! You fucking went off on her for that shit before I even had a chance to see if my kitchen was burned to a crisp!"

"Ugh, that was awful. That smell lasted for three days."

I laughed, rubbing my stomach. "I thought you and Edward were going to start swinging fucking bats at each other that night! One of the worst fights in history!"

"He got so pissed at me," she giggled, "for telling her that she was an idiot. And I told him that her boyfriend probably knew how to work the damn microwave, and I could call him for Edward! I thought Edward was going to punch me!"

"That shit was funny as hell!" I grinned. "It makes you wonder what Edward's gonna do if you ever fight with Bella now that they're on complete lock down with each other. I don't care who it is, even me. That mother fucker won't think twice before swinging fucking guns out. I'm talking fists blazing! No one touches her but him, and no one hurts her feelings in his presence."

She nodded, spacing off. Then she said calmly, "He's like that with any woman he cares about... But her definitely. Hey. Remember in high school when he got suspended for kicking the hell out of that Kevin guy for me? Bella was so angry."

"Oh yeahhhhh," I nodded. "He pushed you into the basketball pole or something in gym and called you a whore. You were upset and came and got me and Edward, but I couldn't do anything because I was already on probation for basketball as it was. Edward fucking walked out of practice, ignored the coach yelling, lashed out at Kevin, threw him on the ground. He broke his fucking nose, put him in the hospital, and injured his own fucking hand in the process. That shit was _priceless_."

"Remember the argument they had that night at my house? She raced home from school to find him over there because he snuck out. She was so upset with him for doing that."

"I remember, I remember," I smirked. "That was the first night she gave him head."

"What?!" Alice screeched loudly, covering her mouth as on-lookers stared at us. "What do you mean?"

I grinned, "Edward didn't tell you it was that night?"

"No."

"Yeah. They made up just as fucking quickly as the fight began, and she followed him to his house and snuck in his bedroom. One thing led to another and..."

"Oh God," Alice shook her head, "the beginning of Edward Cullen the Horn Dog."

"Exactly."

She giggled, "Leave it to Bella to start that up."

We fell into a relaxed conversation, going through a list of all the people in her life, dividing them up between Trash and Recyclable. I avoided a few names for as long as possible. But, eventually, it was shit or wipe your ass time. "And," I said, tapping my pen on the paper while she ate a bite of her food, "Jasper?"

She sucked the noodle up and nodded, "Recyclable, I think. If he wants to be."

I nodded, writing his name down. "Me?"

"Duhhhh," she scoffed, giggling slightly. "You're not going anywhere, are you?"

"I don't want to. But, if I'm a bad influ-"

"No. Like you told me, I want you with me, Em. You're my bud."

"Thanks," I fake blushed, smirking. "And Bella?"

"Definitely Recyclable. Did I tell you she texted me today?"

"No. What'd she say?"

"She said, _Hey. Wanted to tell you I'm thinking of you. Hope you're not worried about what we discussed. Proud of you, and though it's hard for him to deal right now, Edward's proud of you too. Call if you need me_."

"That was sweet of her."

"Yeah..."

"What about Edward?"

"Hmm?"

I took a deep breath, tapping my pen on each side of the paper. "Where does he fit in your life right now?"

She studied the paper and shrugged her shoulders slowly, looking tired. "...I'm not sure anymore."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After our necessary quickie (thanks to my husband's teasing), Edward and I explored the rest of the two and a half story house, the guest house, the caretaker's house, some of the 8.5 acres of trees and brush, and ended up down by the dock lift and the lake.

He stood behind me, chin pressed to my shoulder, and turned his face in to kiss my neck a few times, "...What do you think, Angel?"

"I've never been happier."

He slipped his fingers beneath my shirt, and ran his hands around my stomach. "And what do you think, little man?"

I covered his hands with my own, watching the sun shine down on the water, "I wish he'd kick me, instead of the little flutters and stuff. I want a swift kick."

"He will. He's being a bit stubborn. He gets it from you."

I scoffed, nudging him with my elbow, "From _you_, not me."

"Mmhmm. See? You're being stubborn right now."

"Do not use that line on me! You're doing it too."

"Mmhmm," he said again, chuckling. "Look at this view, babe... We get the best of both worlds... One view is relaxing and all lake, then to the left, we've got the city skyline."

"I know," I sighed. "I keep thinking it's all a-"

"It's not a dream."

I smiled and nodded slowly.

"When do you want to start picking out bedrooms?"

"Bedrooms, as in plural?"

"Yeah. Masen's... Our next baby... and the next... and the next..."

"Oh, so now we're having more than one?"

"Of course. _Big _family. I want a little girl next please."

"I'll get right on that, Daddy."

He smirked, kissing my earlobe. "I think we should put Masen's room in the crook of the hall, right down from ours. That one? What do you think?"

"Yeah... I liked that one too."

"And that other door connects to another bedroom... We can put our next child in there, so they can open the door and play together when they want."

"Okay," I whispered. "I agree. Um... How far apart do we want our children? The gap?"

"With our luck, they won't be far at all. I can see it already. Oh God."

I giggled, "I'll kill you if you get me pregnant right after Masen."

He chuckled, "I can't help it if my swimmers are champions."

"Then we'll have to get something t-"

"Nooo," he practically whined like a four-year-old, squeezing me to him, "I hate fucking condoms now."

"You always used them before."

"Yes. But now, you came back to me and I was re-introduced to your... heaven. After that kind of loving, I never, fucking ever want anything between my skin and yours. Ever."

"Edward, we're not having eighteen thousand toddlers running around! I refuse."

"But the creation can be so much fun... Hint... _Hint_."

I closed my eyes and sighed, inhaling the freshness of the outdoors. "I wonder what nicknames we're going to have for our kids. All kids have nicknames."

"I already have mine picked out for Masen."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yep."

"What is it?"

"I'm not telling you. It's a surprise."

I sighed, chewing on the inside of my left cheek, "What about the nursery? Is your mom still helping us set up the house?"

"Yes, Love. We need to go shopping tonight, get some more things. Like a crib, for instance."

"Yeah... I'm excited."

"Me too."

"Do you think you'll change diapers?"

He nodded into my hair, "I'm not one of _those_ men, Bella. I'm an equal participant. I'd change your diapers if I had to... and probably will when we're both in a nursing home one day."

"Oh God," I groaned. "Let's just get through the next twenty years of parenthood before you start sending me closer to my deathbed."

He laughed sexily, "Yes ma'am."

"Wow," I sighed, looking over toward the city, then back toward our land. "I can't wait to bring Spendor and Cora here. They're going to love it. They get a yard."

"I know," he smiled at my subject change. "We all are."

Then he changed it right back, "I can't wait to break in the house." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "We've got a lot of ground to cover, Baby. That's a load of square footage. Where should we fuck next?"

"Edward. Can you go just on-"

"No. You've done and cursed me. I want you, all the damn time, and I think you know it and do this shit on purpose."

"Like what?" I laughed.

"Like rubbing your delicious ass all over my dick right now... Yes, I know you're doing it on purpose... Makes me want to bend you over this boat ramp and lick it."

"You are so gross." I shivered, but he was right. I was doing it on purpose. And I wanted him, just as badly as he wanted me.

"Whatever." He kissed my neck, brushing the hair off first. "Can, I tell you something?"

"Mmhmm," I breathed him in.

"It's a secret," he whispered, sending more chills, this time straight to my core.

"Okay," I smiled.

"..._You're _my real best friend, Bella."

I bit my lip.

"I mean it, you really are these days," he said softly. "I adore Alice and Emmett, and I consider Alice to be the closest, but... it really is you. _You're _who I think about when the sun comes up and _you're _who I dream about when the sun goes down. And... As happy as I am that you and I ended up the way that we are... I think that, even if we just became friends... I'd still be standing on this dock beside you, and would still be enjoying the sun setting over the water just as much as I am now... All I desire is this closeness with you."

I turned to face him. The expression on my face was nothing but loving.

"And," he whispered. "Thank you for this. For giving me my life back. For your understanding, like I said earlier. For being you, and standing here with me."

"You're welcome." I kissed his lips tenderly, and then turned back to the water. "Wanna know a secret of mine?"

"Mmhmm," he kissed my hair.

"I love you so damn much, it sickens me.."

"Really?" he smiled.

"Yes. I'm sure people probably roll their eyes every time I gush about you and want to bash our brains in with a two-by-four because we're newlyweds and all of that."

"Awesome." He turned me around slowly and gave me a sweet, .

Then, because he's Edward, he also winked and said, "So... does that mean you want to fuck again?"

I punched him playfully in the gut, "Go away. My goodness."

He laughed and grabbed my hand, pulling me back toward the house with him. "Come on... let's go see if Victor's molested Lauren yet."

As we entered the house, low and behold, Victor and Lauren were sitting awfully close to each other on the couch, and his hand was on her knee.

I thought Edward was going to have a heart attack.

He squeezed my hand and cleared his throat obnoxiously loud, gaining their attention.

"Ahhh," Victor said, unwinding his other arm from the back of the couch. "There you two are. We were wondering if we had to send for a search and rescue team."

"Yeah, Vic, you seem awfully worried about us."

Lauren flushed and stood up quickly, brushing her hands down her pencil skirt, "Well... It looks like you two have everything settled here. Shall we go back toward the gate to give your new codes to the security guard?"

Edward nodded, but Victor cut him off. "That won't be necessary."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm hiring new security for you. And we're going to have two more posts built, on the east and the west ends of this property. It'll be finished in the two weeks it's going to take to get you both settled and moved in."

"Oh," Lauren said, nodding absent-mindedly. "Well then. I should be getting back, if you're ready."

"Yeah, we'll take you back," Edward said, leading me out. "We've got some re-arranging to do back there as well."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Jasper came over once we arrived back in town, and Bella left with him a little while later. He was helping her sort through some of the things at her house, primarily there to lift the boxes, since Rosalie and Jake weren't back from Forks yet. She took Spendor with her, while I stayed here and sorted through all this mess.

I sighed, looking around my bedroom. I had a lot of shit. You never realize how much shit can be tucked away or lost, until you have to pull it all out and sort through it. I didn't even want to think about going through my walk-in closet this moment. I would hang myself with the nearest fucking wire hanger.

I wasn't sure which I despised more -- packing it all up, lugging it into a vehicle, moving it over, or unpacking and finding new places for every fucking thing. I quickly decided that I hated it all in equal measures.

Growling, I piled the eighth full box of random shit on top of my bed, and sealed it shut with duct tape. I marked it _'Random EC Bedroom Shit' _with a sharpie. "What do you think, Cora?" I asked, turning to find her lying on her belly, next to my tall windows of cool glass. "Think you're ready for all this chaos coming our way?"

She blinked a few times, staring at me.

"Yeah. I'm not sure I am either." I tossed the marker on the bed, then turned back to her. "I need a beer. You want one?"

She huffed and closed her eyes. She was moody today. I think she sensed a change was coming.

"Be right back."

As I entered the kitchen, I noticed Alice sitting in the living room, folded in a chair with a notepad and book in her lap. She noticed me at the same time, and our eyes connected for a few painful seconds, then we both looked away. Quickly pulling a beer from the fridge, I turned on my heels and quietly left, heading back into my room. I closed the door lightly, pulled the bottle opener from my key chain in my pocket, twisted the lid off of the bottle, and flicked it between my fingers across the room, creating a pinging sound as it flew.

I hated fighting with her. I hated feeling closed off from my friend. It made everything feel miserable and my heart hurt.

Because I knew I was more to blame for Alice's feelings for me than I gave myself credit for. And that meant all this shit inside the dark and deep storm of my past was about to come tumbling out, cracking under the pressure of this way-overdue conversation at any minute.

I told Bella when she and I first started talking that I'd done a lot of shit I wasn't proud of, things she wouldn't like if she knew.

I wasn't lying.

It scared the hell out of me to think about telling her. I knew some of it would be brought up in therapy. Alice was another nervous subject.

Facing Alice is one thing when you say you're going to do it, and a whole other frightening fucking mess when you actually do it.

The music came on from the living room. Sad rock music. The kind that she listened to sometimes when she straightened up the house.

I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head, irritated.

I hated all of this. I hated who I was before Bella came back to me. I hated myself for what I'd done in the past. I hated feeling angry with God for splitting the two of us up, and for fucking our lives up immensely in the process. And I hated who Bella and I drug down with us, because we didn't want to deal with the pain alone. Alice and Jasper, in particular. Alice mainly.

There was a light tap on my bedroom door, a brush of knuckles, as it threatened to crack open. I knew it was her.

I swallowed hard, wiping the back of my face with my hand. "Yeah?"

"...Can I come in?" she asked softly behind the door.

"Of course," I frowned, sticking a hand in my pocket as I held the beer close to my chest.

She entered slowly, like a small child inspecting a large playground for bullies or monsters. I felt my heart twist inside my body as I watched her, not sure of what to say. She wore faded jeans and a black tank top, her hair swept in a half up, half down thing, framing her face. She was pretty and pained, with an even mixture of guilt. I'm sure my expression mimicked hers.

"Edward," she said, sliding her hands in her pockets as she looked at me. "I'm not sure what to say now... or how to act around you."

I nodded in understanding.

She nodded back to me.

We were silent.

Echoes of shallow hesitant breathing bounced around the room in waves.

She stepped a foot closer.

I didn't move.

"Edward..." Her eyes were locked on the floor between us, but slowly rose up at to meet mine. Alice forced herself to stay locked on my eyes. "I cannot apologize for how I feel. I wish I could. I want to. But I can't, because..." She exhaled, shaking her head quickly. "According to Fran Corbet, that'd be _denying who I am and the choice I have made, and... I need to be accepting of myself, in order to get better_. But... I am really sorry that I never told you how I felt before you got married. I should have. That's my fault, my stupidity."

"Who's Fran Corbet?" I asked, exasperated.

"She's a therapist I've agreed to see. My first session was today."

I felt my arms twitch with the sudden urge to hug her, but I forced myself to stay still. "I'm proud of you."

"Don't be yet," she cocked her head, half-smiling. "_I have a long way to go,_ she says."

I nodded again.

"Before you decide whether or not you're willing to accept my apology, I feel that I need to explain things to you better. Not to justify myself, but... to make you comprehend that there were indeed two equal parties involved in this... Do you have some time?"

"Always for you, Alice," I frowned. "You know that."

She closed her eyes, breaking our connection, and her voice became shaky. "Please do no say things like that to me right now... I realize that you don't understand the meaning behind your words as _I _take them, but... try."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"Don't be... I just... I need you to listen." She looked up at me, broken.

I nodded again.

"...I _am _in love with you, Edward Anthony Cullen," she said calmly, struggling not to cry as she kept her eyes on mine. It was really hard to not look away. But, like her, I forced myself to stay put. "I think I have been, since I was eight years old... Maybe not that young, truly, I don't really know. But... that's when I really remember the first time being _mesmerized _by you and your power. At the time, my mom and I had been living with you and your parents for four years... My father had just called to stir up drama, and... he said some... a-awful things to me. You know how he is. I started to cry, and ran out of the house, and into the woods. I didn't stop until I reached a water bank, a couple miles away from the house."

"I'd stayed out for a long time, and it was getting dark. But I'd felt exhausted. All my life, since I could remember, my dad was... just _Alan The Ass_. I can't even describe him in words. You know what he tried to do to me, how careful he was to not actually do it so he wouldn't get caught, why he was...." She stopped, motioning her hands to talk for her.

I nodded, letting out a strangled breath. Again, I itched to reach out and hold her.

"I don't know how he got the number to the house," she said, bouncing from left to right, shaking. "He'd just been released on good behavior, after all. All his other contacts had been blocked from the land-line by Carlisle, but he ended up finding another way to contact us. I answered, and I shouldn't have because you and I weren't supposed to answer the phone. But I did because no one else heard it. He started... complimenting me, telling me how much he missed me, how sorry he was for _'confusing' _me. He told me to not tell my mom, that she wouldn't understand."

"He said that _'pretty good girls can keep secrets', _just as he taught me when I was a baby. When I started shaking and told him I was going to tell her, he turned angry. Went off, lashing out, calling me ugly, stupid, useless, a waste of a sperm, a fat whore, nothing more than a stain on a bed sheet... Telling me that I was a worthless piece of shit who would never deserve to be touched by a good man, and I was cursed to nothingness. I'd never amount to anything. I needed to lose weight, but even then, it wouldn't be enough to earn the love and respect of a man. All a man would ever do was fuck me hard and then fuck me over. He swore on his life that he'd make sure I'd pay for the pain I'd caused him."

All I could do was nod slowly. I felt the pain rolling off of her, the pain in my own eyes.

She swallowed, releasing her first tear. "You found me, Edward. I'm not sure how hard or how long you looked. But it was you that found me next to that old, broken down shack. It was you that knelt before me, and pulled me in your arms... At eight years old, you picked me up off of the ground with your tiny strength and let me cry on your damn shoulder, just as you do now when people are hurt... I told you what he... what he'd said to me, and you already knew about all the shit before that, but... You were so _angry_. I told you that I felt like he was all over me, again. On my skin, on my neck, his stupid fingers running trails down my spine while I was in that damn, overheated garage again. Ages one through four, living those moments over and over again. The strokes. The petting. The groping. The breathing. Even though he never entered me, I felt him there, at eight _fucking _years old."

She wiped her hand across her face, knocking the tear off, toward the carpet. "You told me I didn't have to _wear him _anymore. He was no longer a part of me. I'm not sure what all you could have possibly understood, being a sheltered boy at that age. But you seemed like such an old soul, looking back. You ... y-you carried me into the river, and pretended to hand me a bar of soap... It was _'invisible, shielding soap'. _You said that I could..."

Her voice broke as she struggled for air. At that point, I was crying too.

"...You said that... I... could use the _'invisible, shielding soap'_, and lather it up on my skin and clothes... That the soap would wash me of that awful man. The shield would protect me from anyone else who tried to harm me in the future. You even helped me wash the _'invisible, shielding soap' _in my hair... By the end of it, you'd taken my mind off of what had happened, we'd sworn ourselves to secrecy, and we had a water fight before we came back to the house. We'd trudged water across the new floors, and our moms got so mad." She smiled a sad, broken smile. Wistful and lost. "We were both whooped and sent to bed without dinner, do you remember?"

"...Yes," I said calmly, stiff. "It was the only time I'd been whipped with a ping pong paddle."

She sniffled a half-smile. "I went in your room that night. I'd had a nightmare about him sneaking in my window, and you let me sleep in your bed with you. You wrapped your bony arms around mine, and watched me until I fell asleep. You made a promise that night that... you'd always be there for me, that you'd always protect me, and you'd never let another man hurt me that way."

Licking the salt off my lips, I nodded, before swiping the tears from my eyes.

"You've kept that promise, Edward. Growing up, you've always kept that promise with me. I think I grew dependant on it. On my need for you to be my... guardian, or some shit. And you and I, we grew closer, every single day. I remember, at one point, when we'd turned twelve or something, our parents were growing suspicious of us and would limit our time together." She giggled. "They thought we were starting to fool around or something, because we held hands on the school bus and got caught." She let out a hard, quick laugh.

I laughed also. "I remember that too. You got me grounded for three days for that stunt, and my parents never sent me on another field trip with the school without one of them fucking chaperoning."

She nodded, her face growing back to serious. "Around that time, after they'd pointed it out that _'boys and girls don't hold hands at that age', _I think that's when the real crush started. We were living across the street at that point, and... We'd play every day. You made new friends, but you'd always include me. The other boys didn't understand why I was an _'Edward Cullen follower'. _They teased you for it all the time, and you'd fight with them that day, then apologize and you'd be friends the next... Just as all friends were at that age. Anytime they'd tease you about me, you'd take it out on them, never me. You never sent me away to go play somewhere else."

"After your dad took the new job, your family up-rooted mine with yours again, and we moved to Forks. We were fifteen at the time. You and I were still close, despite our occasional bickering. That was when Bella came into the picture..."

I nodded again.

"At first, I was jealous of her, I'm not going to lie. I hated her for drawing your attention from me. I'm not really sure that I was fully aware of the crush I had on you at the time, but I was starting to understand that my feelings weren't platonic anymore. You came over, and we fought, and then you told me that she wasn't getting between us. I told you I was sorry, and I meant it. You promised that we'd still have days for just the two of us, and you kept that promise also..."

"At sixteen, I started to figure out I was beginning to love you. You and Bella fought again, for the thousand and second time, and you came over to my house in the middle of the night. Crawled in bed with me, lay over the covers, and cried on my shoulder. It was the first time I'd _really _seen you cry like that. I liked being there for you. I liked... being your guardian, in a sense, just as you were mine. The next day, I went to school, and argued with Bella. Told her off in the middle of the hall. Told her how stupid she was for hurting you. Of course, you two made up, and I apologized. But I remember making a pact with myself to always protect you too."

"You have to know, Edward," she stepped forward, leaving a few feet of space between us, "I was never, ever obsessed with you, in any type of sick way. It was just you and me against the world and we'd always been like that. I was never angry with Bella, never hated her. Never thought up any secret plots to steal you from her or any of that other catty shit the other girls did. She and I were close in high school, always. I understood fully that she was your girlfriend, and I was okay with that. It was only when you'd fight with her and come to me that I started to want something else... Then you'd get back with her, and my feelings evaporated. At the time, at that age, they weren't set in stone. I had boyfriends, and you hated them all... Got angry with me when I'd spend too much time with them and shut you out for a week or two. I lost my virginity at seventeen when I was drunk at a party, and when I cried and told you about it, you kicked Frankie's ass black and blue..."

"At times... I wondered if you felt more for me than you let on. You'd do things, little things, that got me wondering. Boyfriend things. You sent me flowers on my birthday, little good luck cards taped to my gym locker before tennis matches. Taught me how to drive, took me on movie dates, built a rope swing for me over the lake. You beat any man's ass that hurt me. You took me with you on family vacations, even that one year when Carlisle and Esme tried to separate us for once, you weren't having it... "

"I know some of that sounds brotherly, but the a lot of those things you did weren't. Like... you'd brush the hair out of my eyes, hug me constantly, kiss my head, my cheeks, my face, my eyelids, whisper sweet nothings in my ear... Feed me with your fork when we'd try different foods. Hold my hand during the occasional rock concert we snuck off to... Crawl in my bed with me whenever you two split, or even while you were together - though those times, you never slept under the covers with me. Hold me a tad bit too long. We watched our first porn together, made fun of it, trying not to show we were turned on... You get the picture. It was always more. Even our parents would always say, _'You two are going to get married_,' and _'This is how it starts...' _It all kept adding up."

"After your split Senior year, you wanted to move out of your family's house quickly. You wanted to rebel, and you wanted to do it fast. Right after graduation, we booked it out of Forks. You bounced around between two girls, and began your downward spiral of drinking, sex, and drugs. And it was me that pulled out the fishing rod and would reel you back in... Over and over again. I never wanted to see you hurt, fucking ever... but I liked being that person you depended on, because that justified that it wasn't only me being dependent on you. Each time you'd get healthy again, it was you and me against the world once more. I dated a few men, all who were complete and utter assholes to me. Because, as _daddy _said, _I was cursed and would get fucked hard and fucked over_, and that's what I did... But I almost sought it out. I didn't know any better. I searched for the dangerous men, the ones in leather, or with piercings, or tattoos, or a six pack of stale beer in their fucking lap. Searched for it because I wanted to prove to myself that I could be good for them, though I never was. They were always the same, and you... You always pulled me back to you."

"You always found me, and during my drastic breakdown, you pulled me out of that fucking oblivion of self-hate. I actually cut the right way for a change, instead of sideways, and was bleeding severely. After we'd gone to the hospital and fabricated the whole fucking story of a long busted vase in the soapy water of the kitchen sink, you made me promise you that I'd tell you before I got that bad again. We were both okay for a month or two, even when I'd verbally tell you how much I despised your_ fuck of the month _girl. You never yelled at me for that, until Aimee came into the picture. She was the only one you yelled at me about, but that was only once, with the popcorn incident. The rest of the time, like I said, you never cared how I treated your girls... Let me scream and shout at them. You always came back to me in the end. Always hold me, let me sit on your lap, cook me dinners, have game nights... Went to concerts, bowling, drive-ins, everything. Every time we met new people, they'd see how we'd interact, and they'd ask you if you were my boyfriend. You'd deny it half the time, but other times... You just smiled and played along. I'm sure it was to make me feel better for being alone all the time, but really... looking back, it led me on."

"Just like when you'd hug me, or brush your hands down my sides, or across my collar bone... Comments about my sexy bras that no man should see, that I shouldn't be allowed to walk out of the house wearing. But... it seemed okay for you to see them... Simple gestures that you thought were comforting began to turn me on... A brush of the small of my back, lifting my hair off my neck, whispers in my ear. I knew I had to tell you. Emmett had figured it out. I knew others were starting too as well. I made a deal with myself, that I'd tell you how I felt when we got the cabin. I was going to tell Tanya off, like I always did, and make you finally open your eyes and see me for who I really was... someone that wanted to love you more than she was allowed by any other man. I knew you'd be the one, the only one. So... I did."

I nodded again, my feelings visible to her now. This was a lot of revelations.

"...Once you rejected me, and told me you loved me but loved Bella first... I didn't know if I could believe you. I told you to go, because I wanted to sacrifice and make you happy, but... after you left... All I kept thinking was, there's no possible way he loved her first. Look at the eleven years before that, ages four through fifteen, where it was just you and me... Look at all you did for me... How you acted around me. Even _after _the age of fifteen... I just... I convinced myself that you just didn't see it, you didn't understand, but you would. But..."

She exhaled, her cheeks puffing, "I tried to accept it. I knew that Bella was more than a shadow on a wall to you, despite your gazillion and one lies beforehand, telling me she was nothing but a bitch that you didn't want anything to do with because she didn't want anything to do with you. I knew you were angry when you said those things... but the more times you said it, the more I started to believe it. Maybe she _was _just past, just an ex. Maybe you two wouldn't work out in the cabin. I mean, after all, she had Jasper..."

Alice cleared her throat, rubbing it with her hand. "But I did try to accept it, Edward. I didn't at first, and you knew it, because I didn't want her to hurt you... but after you made me promise to, I did, and I meant it. But then, you two had sex and fought again, and she hurt you. All through our time at the cabin, it was back and forth, back and forth, me then her, me then her... Tanya, Emmett, Jake, Rosalie, hell, even _Bella _saw our connection. Bella herself told me to go for you at one point, that she knew you loved me more than you let on yourself. But again, I didn't, and I lied to myself, and I told myself to just let you be happy with her. And I did... I grew close to Jasper. I liked Jasper. I won him over despite my father's projections for me. I told myself that he was the first man that wasn't tattooed and pierced all to hell, and didn't walk around with a fucking buzz the entire time. He was polite, charming, handsome. He respected me and my insecurities. Showed me what it felt like to be a _'princess'_... But I'd been brainwashed by all the other men for far too long. I wasn't a princess, and I didn't deserve a man as kind as him, because if he didn't hurt me, I'd eventually hurt him. I kept trying to tell myself that it was all in my head, that I could be loved the way that other people loved each other... But my father's voice never left my head. The voice of all the other men didn't either."

"I really thought I was okay with you and Bella. I grew to love her again, the same high school her, all over again. Grew to admire your relationship, and smile when I'd see you two smile... I'd encourage you, be there for you. It wasn't until you two snuck off and left at the cabin that it started to hit me. I kept trying to push away my thoughts, but it was the first time in YEARS that I'd been separated from you. Then I came back and saw her here, in our house, the place that you and I have had all to ourselves all along, with all the intensity and physical attention... and now you were giving it all to her, and barely acknowledging me or anyone else... I kept telling myself, _let it go, he's with her, she makes him happy, you like her yourself, don't do this_. So then I'd brush it under the rug, take a deep breath... I could convince myself of better. And for a time, I'd be happy, all over again. I'd be the confident Alice that had her own clothing label and company that no one really knew about besides you and Emmett. I'd be bouncy and happy, and I really was. It was not just an act... "

"Then something would trigger me. I'd see you stroke her stomach, or see Jasper look at me with so much need in his damn eyes... and I'd realize in my head, that I was not the happy, Sunshine Alice. Now I was back to weak, ugly, worthless, fat-whore Alice, that designed her own clothes because, even though she only weighed a hundred and two pounds, she thought clothes didn't fit her right. That she was fat. That she was ugly. So she'd make them herself, vivid bright colors to make her stand out and get attention for herself. Yellows and pinks and oranges... Anything I could to force attention on me, because I had to have it... I had to feel wanted by someone."

She sighed, wiping her face again. "I saw your child growing in her belly, and I'd never, fucking _ever _resent her or that baby Edward, I swear to God... But selfishly, I didn't like seeing you growing apart from me, and that baby was the first real sign of it. All of my life, it's been you and me, and now... a blink of the eye, or three weeks in a cabin, and it all changed. My past, everything I knew and took comfort in, was being pulled from me, like gravity. It all was coming down, and I was being pushed up, away from it, away from you. Up, up, up, I couldn't stop it. I tried to be accepting, but I couldn't. That's when I broke down. She came in, laid with me, innocent and oblivious to my feelings for you... And I loved her again. Told myself it was okay to let her have you, because you weren't going to stop being my friends. After all, you were here, lying on the fucking ground with me."

"And then... you two got married. I was happy for you, happy for her. Happy to see _'true love', _as everyone put it, in a real-life form. You still needed me, made it clear that night as I stayed in your hotel room instead of with the other girls, and I thought to myself, '_Okay... He can do this. He can have her and me, I'm not going anywhere, he doesn't want me to be forgotten or out of his life, I can co-exist'_..."

She shook her head, stepping closer to me, the tears coming strong. "I was so happy for you, Edward. The vibes that night, the love and passion and miracles that were in the air.... All the happy couples dancing around... I was happy to be in Jasper's arms, happy to know that I could have someone else to fall back on... But... Then I saw you walk away and climb into that limo, and drive off down the lane with her, and that's when it really, really, _really _hit me, like a bolt of lightning... You and I, twenty-two years of us, changed in one damn second when that door closed and car disappeared. You chose to have someone else in your life, as first place. To have someone else be your best friend... Someone else to get angry at when men gawked at her. Someone else's shoulder to cry on besides mine... It wasn't even that it was Bella, it was just that it was _someone else_. But, you were happy. Again, I pushed it under the rug, and made myself happy too."

"But... I couldn't have Jasper holding my hand. I'm not sure if I was angry at him for trying to give me something I didn't deserve, or angry at myself for wanting him to be you again. I just wanted my best friend back, and you weren't there. So I ended it with him. Told him that I was in love with you, and I didn't deserve to be. I told him that I knew it was wrong, but it was how I felt, and though he was a good man, I couldn't love him or anyone else until I knew who I was first. He, surprisingly, took it better than I thought. Emmett took me in, thankfully. I told him everything, every single fucking thing that night. I even told him about our two make-out sessions in the cabin. _Everything_. He was the only person that made me feel like I didn't have to hide who I was, for the first damn time in fucking forever. That my feelings were normal, and if any other person was in my shoes, it'd make sense that they felt the same way about you as I did. _No, he's not on Team Alice instead of Team Bella, so don't go wanting to punch him_, but... He saw outside of the box, Edward. It's never been just me that saw it, and he was the proof I needed of that."

"When you came home, I thought it was going to be okay. Emmett was my support, and he told me I could stay at his place until I'd adjusted to accepting that I had to let a part of you go. But... then you never called. You never texted. You never did anything. In five damn weeks. We'd never gone one _day _without talking to each other, even if it was an annoying, _'Hello, I just wanted to see what the hell you're doing because I'm bored'... _Nothing. The Honeymoon I understood, but this was five weeks after the Honeymoon, and... NOTHING. It was a cold, hard, smack in the face. This was it, the final straw of hope. I was okay being third behind Bella and your baby but... Now I was _replaced_. Not needed. Not important. When you told me, that night we fought before you took off. You didn't have time for me, you had more important shit to do... It was the final nail in the coffin. I was done. I couldn't lie. I... wasn't strong enough even to lie to myself anymore... I became as weak as that little girl, eight years old again, leaning against the broken shack."

She blew out a gust of wind, then slumped her shoulders.

She was done.

She'd said it all.

..At this point, I wasn't even sure _how_ to think, let alone what to think.

So many things to process, so many things that I didn't know, and a lot more that I did know and had lied to my own damn self about... Like I was subconsciously aware of her need for me, and her attention. That I craved it, stronger than any of the other women I brought home.

Like I was an ass.

And this was the price that I paid... the price that I paid for willingly committing myself to Alice at the age of eight years old, if not four. For relying on her, and knowing that she relied on me as well.

Two damn peas in a mother fucking pod.

Shaking, I ran my fingers through my hair. We never once took our eyes off of each other. I felt like mine were glued open.

She took another step, the gap between us growing smaller, "...Say something," she whimpered. "Please."

"What do you want me to say, Alice?" I whispered.

"Tell me what you _want _to say, Edward. I just... bared my soul to you. I'm cut open and bleeding scars here, worse than any physical pain... Be honest with me."

"Honesty?"

"Yes. Honesty." she wiped her face. "Please, just honesty."

I stared at her face, zoning out.

I wasn't sure what I felt.

I wasn't sure what to say.

Half of me, the older part of me, wanted to just escape. That's what I was good at, in situations I couldn't handle. Just turn to the left and fucking run hard, straight to that damn window and over the balcony, down the thirty-two stories, landing flat on the road like a bloody, smashed pancake. Ending it all.

Another part of me wanted to rush to her, and hug her pain away, and fucking mend this shit however the hell I could. To rewind time, or maybe not even do that. Just fucking _fix _it.

I _needed _to. For the both of us.

I inhaled through my nose, and reached out my right hand to her.

She stared at it, blinking away tears, for a moment in silence.

Then she whispered, "I don't think I can, Edward."

I didn't move, blink, or drop my hand.

Minutes passed.

Her gaze bounced from my eyes, to my hand, to my eyes again. I could see hesitation and pain in her eyes, and knew why it was there. She was afraid to touch me, afraid of how she'd feel.

I still didn't budge. It wasn't about being stubborn or selfish. Nor was it about being the opposite of those things.

...I honestly wasn't sure what it was about. But I couldn't put my hand down.

Eventually she caved. She closed her eyes, and her tiny hand moved inside of my palm, trembling, frigid cold against my overheated skin.

I took a step toward her.

Her breath sputtered.

I took another step, slower, careful. Tentative.

I'm not sure if I couldn't feel my heart at all, or if it was beating so fast that I simply couldn't comprehend it anymore.

My other hand raised and met her right bicep, while my thumb brushed across the back of her left hand.

She looked like she'd been cemented to my carpet by her tennis shoes. A frozen statue. A tortured one.

Licking my lips, I took another step, almost closing the gap between us.

Her chin began to quiver as more tears came out of both her eyes and mine.

She gasped, a burning, loud, ache of unrelinquished defeat.

And then it all just fucking came down. The wind, the rain, the storm, the tornadoes, the sand, the earth... Everything felt like it weighed on my shoulders, and on hers, simultaneously.

I didn't know I was fucking broken until I saw my own face in her eyes, and saw hers for the very first time in many years.

This was who we'd become. Who we'd turned each other into.

I squeezed her hand tighter, dragging my feet across the carpet, until I was directly in front of her.

She whimpered, squeezing mine back.

My face was soaked, as was hers, but I couldn't figure out who's I wanted to wipe first... if I wanted to wipe any at all.

Maybe the tears should stay. They'd been a symbol between us for many years, on many occasions. I deserved the tears. I'd earned them, for taking and taking from her, then once again, for giving and giving back to her. She'd earned them too.

Inhaling slowly, I felt my chest crushing against the invisible weight, and winced at the pain.

She whimpered again, squeezing my hand tighter, reminding me that we were in this mess together, and more importantly, that she was there for me.

Here she fucking was, bearing her soul and bleeding herself dry for all the world to see for the very first time, and... she was comforting _me_?

_Fuck. That._

I had to fix her. I just didn't know how.

Sniffling, I moved closer, our toes touching, the pain intensifying, spreading around us in a heavy circle. I still had no thoughts. Not one fucking thought in my goddamn mind.

It felt as if I was being pulled at both ends, stretched to the max, up and down, left and right. My head hurt. My eyes burned. My body ached. But nothing compared to the guilt that was now surrounding and infusing me, and shared between the two of us.

She sniffled, bringing her free hand up, and clutched a fistful of my blue shirt, twisting it. I wasn't sure if she was pushing me away, or pulling me closer to her.

I closed my eyes and breathed shallow, short, quick breaths.

Alice made that defeated sound again. My eyes shut.

She started to shake, vibrating my hand, moving my shirt.

I leaned down toward her face, and hesitated.

She froze.

Moving closer, I watched as her eyelids slowly closed, as I pressed my lips to her forehead.

...And she just started crying. Out loud. Hard.

She wanted me to kiss her, and I knew it, and knowing that I didn't was like stabbing her in the heart. Getting her hopes up by leaning down to her, and then not following through.

Bending my knees, I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her tiny waist, pulling her into me. I didn't remove my mouth from her forehead, as the sides of her fists started hitting my chest angrily.

"I _hate _you," she said quietly, forcefully, her hot breath against my neck. "I fucking hate you, Edward."

I nodded, closing my eyes. I was exhausted, a carcass, a shell. Dead. "I hate me too."

"I hate _you_," she sneered again, hitting harder.

I hugged her tighter.

I knew what she was doing. She was lashing out at me for all I'd done to her. But she was also lashing out at Alan, her prick of a father. At Frankie. At Joseph. At all the men who had hurt her. And, _all _of us did.

She never saw me in that light, or that same shadow, as them, until right fucking now.

And I deserved it.

I did lead her on. I used her, several times, because I was alone and enjoyed having someone just as bitter as I was, sitting right beside me.

I felt enlightenment when I saved her, just as she did when she saved me. We never brought each other down on purpose, but when it happened, we knew how to fix it.

Fixing it, always.

It was a sick fucking world that we'd created around each other. And that world exploded.

She whimpered, punched, and growled forcefully at me, pushing me away then jerking me back to her. She buried her face into my shirt and screamed angry words of pain and abandonment. Loud, echoing, bellowed words, erupting from her tiny lungs. Her swings got harder, but I didn't let her go.

She didn't want me to.

"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" she screamed. "I hate you! Why would you do this?!"

"I'm so sorry," I whispered in her left ear as she screamed.

"I _HATE _YOU!!"

"I know," I said, ignoring the pain. "I'm so... s-sorry, Honey"

"I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!! Why?! Why did this happen to _me_?!"

I felt her knees go weak, but I held her up against me, and closed my eyes, resting my chin on her head.

She just kept screaming, "WHY, WHY, WHY?!"

"I don't-"

"WHY?!" she cried, cutting me off, her knees swaying. "Why the fuck would you do this to me?! Would _he _do this?! I was a baby, I didn't know! I WAS A BABY!!"

My chest threatened to cave and I struggled to hold her, the tears falling from my chin, onto her hair.

"WHY?!"

I shook my head, struggling to hold her up. Instinct told me to pick her up, to cradle her like a child, but she was too angry.

I had to let her get it out.

I steadied myself, and let her fucking wail on me, until she started to lose her voice and her strength.

It took a long time. I lost track of it.

"WHY?!" she screamed hoarsely, slumping down.

Unable to hold her, I bent my knees and lowered us both to the carpet, never releasing her.

"Why couldn't he love me, Edward?!" she whimpered, hitting my legs, pushing her face angrily into my chest. "Why couldn't anyone, why couldn't YOU?!"

I gasped at the pain, shaking my head.

"What did I do to... be... so..." she shook her head, angry. She was losing her breath. "What did I ... What did I do to be so undeserving of love?"

Leaning forward, I grabbed her face in my hands, and forced her to look at me, "Alice, you are loved."

She shook her head, punching me in the chest. Hard.

I kept her face framed, and she grasped my wrists, gritting her teeth in anger.

"Alice," I said calmly, ignoring the pain. "You _are _loved. I fucking love you so god- damn much, that I don't even comprehend it. I don't even know how it's possible, how badly I need you in my life. How intensely I desire to be a part of yours. I made a pact to protect you, yes, but I never protected you just because I promised. I did it.."

I shut my eyes as she hit me again.

Shaking, I took a deep breath, refocusing on her pained, heartbroken face. "I did it because I wanted to. You're my Alice..."

"You don't need me," she whimpered, growing numb. "You don't need me anymore. You have Bella."

"Yes. I _do _need you, Alice. I do. I have Bella, and she is my wife, my world. I'm not going to lie to you. But my world cannot exist without my friends, _I _cannot exist without having you in it somewhere..."

I wiped the back of my face, letting the tears come out willingly, as I let go of her.

I was absolutely fucking crushed.

She was crying. I was crying. We were both weighed down and torn to shreds.

We wiped our faces, but couldn't stop the emotions.

We were drowning in them.

"You're," I said, shaking my head. "You're my f-friend, Alice. You and Bella, you're my best friends. It's two different people, two different reasons and ... She's my wife. Regardless of this baby, and of the past, she's my one. You _have _to know that. You always have known it. She just is. I know it's not fair of me to want you to be here, knowing that you're aching because you feel stronger for me than I do for you-"

She whimpered, caving into herself.

"But... I'm not... I can't... You're what I have, Alice. Bella, you, and Emmett. The three of you are my family, the family I _choose_. Please don't... _Please _don't leave me. We can fix this, do therapy together or something. We can sort through this, make it better. We can. We'll make it."

She sniffled, wiping her face. "I can't."

"We'll make it, Alice," I said again, shaking her slightly. "I promise you, we'll-"

"I _can't_, Edward," she said, exhaling. She was exhausted.

She looked unfixable.

That realization added another hammer to my already shattered soul.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, jerking her hands from my shirt.

She pushed herself with her legs onto her butt, and then forced herself to move away with her feet, until she was all the way up against my door.

I sat there on my knees, arms out to her, blinking slowly and barely breathing.

"It's over," she said, exhaling.

"No..." I shook my head slightly.

"It is."

"No Alice... It can't be _over _between our friendship. It can't be completely over."

She inhaled, and stood up slowly, pulling herself with the help of the doorknob.

"It's us," I said, desperate to find a balance. "It's us here... Best friends, no matter what... It cannot be just... done."

"I can't hurt you anymore," she said, whimpering. "And... I can't let you hurt me, either."

"I won't," I promised. "I won't, and I won't let you hurt me."

She shook her head, "No."

"Alice..." I whispered.

Her hand lifted, her palm facing me, "Stop... E-Edward."

Her voice was low, almost gone, and cracked.

Inhaling slowly, her eyes found mine, and she locked our gaze. Then she said, in that numb and hauntingly stern voice, "As of today... You're un-recyclable to me."

Then, with one last eerie sound of defeat, she left me on my knees in my bedroom.

...She walked out of my new life, and handed over the old shell of me.

Shattered.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 32! **

**-- Don't hate me. It had to be done. :(  
It's called a **_**transfer of emotions**_**. The strong becomes the weak, and the weak somehow gains hold of the strong's power and turns it against them.  
(In some cases, like this, being unaware that they are doing so.)**

**Note: **Exterior shots of the house in profile. Interiors will be next chapter, when house is more discussed.

**Random question for my reviews, put your answer beneath your review:  
**-- _If you could have any supernatural power, what would it be, and why?_

Thoughts? There's plenty more to come, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

**Reviews are better than having a superpower to take away the heartache in Edward's chest. :(**

**

* * *

**

**-- The latest commonly asked questions I want to address here, to make it easier:**

**1. How many chapters are left in The Ex Factor?**  
I'm aiming for 35 chapters & a bonus. That's the plan. We'll see. We all know how I like to talk and extend shit out.

**2. Please tell me that when you said 'babies' in a past chapter, you didn't mean Edward has kids with someone else.**  
***Spoiler Alert***

Absolutely not. Only with Bella.

**3. How long are you planning the chapters to be, length-wise, and book-wise, for the sequel?**

I will say that I have no plans of making any the length of Ch 29. However, they will be the 'normal' size for me, give or take. I am trying to work on my over-description a bit. As far as how _many _chapters will be in the sequel, I cannot give a direct number. I don't think there will be 30+ though. I will say that, if you love the characters built in this story, then the sequel is a must, if you want to learn the growth.

**4. Please tell me that you are not planning on killing Bella off in the end of TEF.**  
***Spoiler Alert***  
I have no plans to do so. Let me know if you want me to though. ;) JK JK.

**5. Can you give us any hints as to where the last chapter will be, or what the sequel has in store?**  
***Spoiler Alert***  
As chapters go on here, each one left in TEF will be highly charged and important, especially these last ones. I will continue to drop hints about future revelations, as always. I will continue to make sure each character development stands out for themselves. A lot of doors will be closing, and a lot of doors will be left open to interpretation, for the sequel's sake of a curious plot. And as far as the sequel is concerned, I will say that there will be another jump involved in time. That's the basics of _The Ex Factor_. That's why it was drawn to you guys so much. Trying to figure out what happened, where they ended up and why. I love the jump, I love filling in the blanks. It keeps it interesting. The sequel will definitely have that.

**6. Will Emmett ever grow up/Do you hate Emmett/What is going on with Emmett?**

Yes he will. No I most certainly don't. All will be revealed in due time. That's all I can say without giving it away. And I really don't want to do that!

**7. What new stories have you been reading lately?**

Oh boy. **FanFiction-wise**: I'm not going to list them all. I'll say go check out "Brotherly Devotion" by goldentemptress, "I'll Be Your Lover Too" by EdwardsBloodType, "" by algonquinrt, "Art After 5" by sleepyvalentina, "High Anxiety" by EdwardsBloodType, "Age Of Consent: My Summer As An Legal Intern:" by mylittlesecret84, and "Clipped Wings & Inked Armor" by hunterhunting.  
**Book-wise**: "Paint It Black" by Janet Fitch, "Sea Change" by Aimee Friedman, and "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

**8. Any new favorite songs?**

Always. Anything by Safetysuit or Marianas Trench. I love "Beautiful" by Eminem, "I Know You Won't" by Carrie Underwood, "Leave" by Glen Hansard (it will be featured in an outtake as well), "Run" (cover) by Leona Lewis, "Who's Loving You" by the Jackson 5, "To Love Somebody" by either Ray Lamontange, Damien Rice, or Michael Bolton (all great covers). My most favorite at the moment, (also featured in an upcoming chapter) is "Best I Ever Had" by State Of Shock.

**9. Are you planning on having Edward/Bella give birth toward the end of TEF, or are you saving that for the sequel?**

Guess you'll just have to read and find out. ;) It's in your favor though. That's what I'll say.

**10. Did you go to Comic-Con with a lot of the other authors?**

No. :( Dammit. If any of you went, I hope someone took a picture of Rob's hands for me. I'm obsessed with how soft they look. I know, strange but true.

**11. Do you have any plans of writing another EB story after this one?**

Absolutely. In fact, I will go ahead and say it's MUCH DIFFERENT from TEF in just about all of the aspects. It takes a level of angst up a few notches for me. It touches down with the hard reality of things some kids experience when life goes astray. It won't be an always fluffed story. It will have truth. Passion. Love. Pain. Sacrifice. Triumph. But it will be worth it in the end, I hope. So my wish is that, when it's ready, you guys will give it a chance, read it, and let me know what you think.

**12. Will the cabin be featured in the sequel? What about Aimee/Aubrey/Ryan/Colleen/Alyssa/...other characters be in it?**

Oh come on! What do YOU think? ;) The cabin?? It's a legendary TEF trademark!  
And yes, the characters will be returning as well. We're going back to our roots, with another jump, back to more fun, more drama, more everything. I hope you'll join us.

**13. If you don't post A/N's as chapters, how will I be able to keep up with TEF and your other stories when you don't post regularly?**

When/If that happens, first of all, check the Twilighted TEF Thread or the Addicted To The Ex Factor Facebook Community. I am a regular at both of those, and I try to keep them updated as much as possible. Both links are in my profile. Second of all, if you haven't done this yet, at the bottom of each chapter where you review, there is an option to mark this story, me as an author, as well as a few other things, on Alerts or Favs, that way when anything gets updated, you will be the first to know. It's a great feature to have on the site.


	33. Mad World

_Special Thanks to_:  
- To **My readers **and **loyal reviewers**.... ahhhh, my motivators. How I love you so. I wish I could respond to each and every review, and ask God to create real-life TEF Edward's for all of you who want him. Because I'd totally do that. WELCOME NEW READERS!! Glad to see you enjoying the story and reading your reviews! And guys, TEF has been nominated for several _**The Moonlight Awards**__,_ including positions for _Best Author_. Link is in profile!! **NOTE**: YOU CAN ONLY VOTE ONCE, so make sure your vote counts!!  
- To **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for being the person I look forward to talking with every day! For your wonderful insight, which I never take for granted. You are so essential to TEF.  
- To **My Twilighted**, **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members** -- I LOVE YOU ALL. Thanks for keeping me in check and for making me smile and blush, which no one around here has done lately. You're the poo!

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Mad World  
Edward and Bella learn more about when it's time to let things go, and when it's time to step up.  
Growing is a constant process in any human life, and it's never-ending, as portrayed here with all the TEF Characters.  
And Karma... well it has a way of coming back and biting people in the ass. Even for our beloved men, whether we like it or not.**

**Note/Pre-Warning: **_This is the last chapter that has a lot of angst for TEF. The rest will be minimal, especially for our beloved couple. Be HAPPY about that! Rejoice, rejoice! Join the choir! YAAAYYYYY!!!  
__**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**Previously on TEF:  
**__"It's us," I said, desperate to find a balance. "It's us here... Best friends, no matter what... It cannot be just... done."  
"I can't hurt you anymore," she said, whimpering. "And... I can't let you hurt me, either."  
"I won't," I promised. "I won't, and I won't let you hurt me."  
She shook her head, "No."  
"Alice..." I whispered.  
Her hand lifted, her palm facing me, "Stop... E-Edward."  
Her voice was low, almost gone, and cracked.  
Inhaling slowly, her eyes found mine, and she locked our gaze. Then she said, in that numb and hauntingly stern voice, "As of today... You're un-recyclable to me."  
Then, with one last eerie sound of defeat, she left me on my knees in my bedroom.  
...She walked out of my new life, and handed over the old shell of me.  
Shattered._

* * *

_**"Picture, you're the queen of everything. Far as the eye can see... under your command.  
I will be your guide again, when all is crumbling, ...I'll steady your hands.  
You can never say never, while we don't know when...  
Time and time again, stronger now than we were before.  
Don't let me go. Don't let me go. Don't let me go...  
Don't let me go. Don't let me go. Don't let me go...  
...We're pulling apart, and coming together, again and again.  
We're growing apart, but we pull it together, pull it together, together again...  
So don't let me go.  
Don't let me go.  
Don't let me go..."  
~ The Fray, "Never Say Never"**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Mad World**

**BellaPOV **

Planting my hands on my hips, I blew a piece of my sticky hair from my eyes.

Packing up was a pain in the ass. I never wanted to do it again.

Thankfully, we'd gone straight for our dream house, so, hopefully, moving wouldn't be an option for a very, very long time.

"Okay," Jasper said, walking down the hall from my bedroom carrying a box, Spendor yapping at his heels, "where do you want this one?"

"What is it?"

"It says..." He furrowed his brows and looked over my chicken scratch on the side flap. "Uh...." His cheeks warmed as shook his head. "Lingerie with a heart beside it, and an _'E' _in the middle of it."

I bit my lip and smiled at him. "By the couch, please."

"I cannot believe you have a box _this big _with skimpy lingerie. I cannot imagine how many things it takes to fill a box this gigantic."

"Some of it was for my honeymoon, as gifts."

"I don't care to think about that." He shook his head dismissively, lightly pushing Spendor away. "Dude," he said, unloading the box on the couch cushion, "this dog has never liked me. Vicious little hellion."

"Spendor," I said, squatting and patting my leg, "leave him alone!" Spendor growled and hopped a few times at Jasper, before turning and charging for me. I scooped him up in my arms and laughed when he tried to lick my neck. "He's just over-protective of me."

"Yeah, Alice mentioned to me a while back that ya'll had developed a closeness."

"Edward tells me all the time that Spendor hated every other girl he ever brought to the apartment. I'm not sure if I should take this as a compliment, or ...if there's something wrong with me."

"Why would anything be wrong with you?" he chuckled as he pulled his sticky shirt away from his stomach. "Because a dog likes you?"

"_Only _me," I said in a sing-song voice as I put Spendor down.

He ran right for Jasper again, barking. Jasper shook his head and smirked, ignoring him. "He's a male, Bella. Of course he likes you."

"Oh, here we go again with this. What does _that_ mean?"

He studied me for a moment, confused, then shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "Good to know you haven't changed completely."

"_Meaning_?" I tapped my foot, hands on my hips again.

"Meaning you still don't see yourself as we do."

"We?"

"The male species."

I tilted my head back and laughed, rubbing my stomach. "I will never understand the _'male species'. _Don't even get me started on that."

"You don't have to understand us to know that we think girls like you are beautiful, Bella. It's quite obvious the majority of us go for the subtle ones in the end. The sweet, kind-hearted, nurturing type. That's what I'm looking for in the end..."

I blushed and looked toward the ground, shaking my head.

"And your blush is equally magnificent... if not the best thing about you. We all know it's Edward's favorite thing."

Growing more embarrassed, I lifted my left hand, wiggling my very adorned ring finger. "Is it protocol for men to be hitting on married women?"

He shrugged. "It cannot be hitting on you when I'm referencing your husband in the come-on. But... yeah, depends on if they get caught." Then he winked at me, and began taping boxes closed, immediately dismissing any discomfort. That's why I adored him. He made things simple for me when it came to Edward and I. Honest, but not over-bearing, like some other men might be.

I threw a wadded up piece of tape at his head, then turned toward the bookcase on the wall. "Thanks for helping me tonight. I appreciate it."

"What else did I have to do on a Friday night?" he teased, stacking a box up on top of others.

I flashed him a cheesy grin, pulling books from the shelf. I never realized how many I had... my bookshelf was loaded.

"Damn it, Bella!"

I turned around, to find Jasper directly behind me, and we about bumped into each other. Stumbling backward against the bookshelf, I covered my heart with my hand, while Jasper started laughing as he held me up.

"Sorry," I smiled, embarrassed, straightening myself. "I didn't know you were right behind me."

"I'm on strict orders from your man. I don't think you should be lifting too many books. Those are pretty thick."

"They're classics."

"They're still thick," he playfully nudged me, before removing the books from my hand and turning to drop them in a box. "No more."

"But what am I going to do? You keep taking all my jobs away here."

"... I don't know. Go over there, stand and look adorable," he teased. "But seriously... there's boxes need marked and duct-taped, and there's dishes and stuff still in the kitchen."

"I don't know. Are you going to yell at me for lifting the crock pot?"

"Not if you _don't _lift the crock pot."

"Figures," I sighed.

"Think of it as if you're on vacation. No one lifts a finger on vacation."

"Honey, if I were on vacation, I'd be slow dancing beneath the moonlight with Edward in the Maldives again."

"Close your eyes and pretend your dancing with him there then," he stated, lifting and moving things to create a path so he could walk around easier.

I closed my eyes and exhaled heavily after a minute of blank thoughts. "Not working."

Suddenly there was a hand in mine, and I was being spun around slowly. "Now?" he laughed.

I opened my eyes and looked up at him, stunned. "Uh..."

He smirked and moved the hair off my shoulders before stepping back to give us even more space, now holding just the tip of my finger. "See? It does work... All you have to do is believe it, and you're there."

"Except you're not Edward."

A throat cleared, and we both turned to find Edward standing in the doorway, arms and legs crossed tightly. Jasper quickly dropped my hand and turned, heading toward the bookshelf. He smiled at Edward. "Hey man."

"Hey," I repeated, walking over to him. "We were just packing up."

"I see that," he replied stiffly.

I rolled my eyes and pulled him into the hall. "Don't be jealous, we were just goofing around."

Edward took another look at Jasper, then pulled me into a strong hug. I ran my fingers through his hair and realized he wasn't about to release me anytime soon. "Everything okay?"

He nodded, squeezing me tighter, his left hand rubbing the small of my back. "I don't think I can handle anyone else touching you," he whispered in my ear. "Not right now, okay babe?"

"Jasper didn't mean anything by that," I whispered back reassuringly. "I promise. Besides, you touch your fr-"

"Not anymore," he said sharply, shaking his head, still not releasing me. Then his voice calmed as he studied my eyes. "...I swear. Not anymore."

"Okay," I said, starting to feel concerned by his contrary attitude. "I'm sorry if we made you feel uncomfortable. I promise, nothing was or is going on."

"I know. I just..." he said weakly, glancing over at Jasper. He pulled me into the hallway, his eyes nothing but business, his voice pitched low. "I just don't want anyone misinterpreting your kindness or the way you play around right now. Taking advantage of it in any way. Trust me. _Trust me_ when I tell you, it's the _last _thing you need, baby. I don't want you stressing later."

Instantly, I knew he was talking more about his own issues than mine. "Jasper isn't Alice, Edward. He respects you. A lot. He's been letting me run off at the mouth all night about us, and you, and the baby. He's a gentleman."

"Aren't they all," he replied sarcastically under his breath, so low that I barely heard him. Then he smiled glumly at me, twisting the wedding ring on my finger. "Bella, I'm sorry if I'm being rude, but... I really need you. I came here because I wanted to be close to you. I need _us _right now."

My heart started to pound at the desperation in his expression. "Okay. What's going on?"

"It doesn't matter," he said, shaking his head. "I don't want to talk about it yet. I just want it to sink in until... we get some alone time. But... may I have another hug? Please?"

"Of course." I opened my arms to him and he slipped back in. "You don't even have to ask. You know that."

"I'm sorry baby," he said, kissing my ear gently. "I don't mean to be jealous, and I know Jasper's good people. I _know _he is. But... the thought of anyone having fantasies about you, or touching you... unravels me to my core at the moment. I'll be fine tomorrow, I swear. I know I'm being a pain in the ass -- I know I am. I don't want you upset with me."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?" I asked, caressing the stubble on his jaw.

"Not yet." He turned his face quickly and kissed the inside of my palm, then leaned forward and pressed his lips to my nose. "Seeing you is enough to make me feel okay for now, Bella."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I sat on the couch, looking around at the empty walls as I handed Edward a cup of hot tea. Jasper left a few hours earlier, taking boxes with him in his truck to Edward's place.

We'd discussed in the car on the way back from the new house earlier that I'd be signing my house over to Victor in a week. He was going to sell it for Edward and I, and claimed he'd take ten percent of the total cost. But Edward told me he wouldn't. I told Victor he should take more, but knowing how kind Victor was, I doubted he'd take _any _when it came down to it. He just offered to take a percentage because Edward doesn't like the idea of 'freebies' and 'donations'.

Then Edward spent the next hour telling me, in detail, about his night with Alice. I didn't have to ask. I knew there was nothing he left out. I was happy he didn't hide anything from me. He took a sip of his tea and then lay sideways, his head in my lap. The coffee table was pushed up alongside a wall, so he sat the cup on the floor. "I'm sorry," I whispered, brushing through his hair with my fingers. "I'm sorry that she felt she had to do that."

"I know why she did it," he said. "And it really sucks. But... I mean, it was all just fucking crazy, being in that moment. It was as if I was living two lives, and stuck between the both of them. The life I choose to spend with you, with my wife and my baby, and then this past life I shared with her... Like I was two different people. I saw you and Masen in front of me, and all the fucked up shit I'd done behind me, and I felt like something had my arms and was pulling me in both directions. I wanted to go forward, and I mean, I _do_, but... it just really made me think about my life before you and I got back together... I thought I had everything figured out... That people would just move on, because I was going to... but life really doesn't work that way. Everything I thought was wrong."

"How do you mean?"

"Like," he exhaled, rubbing his face vigorously, "do you know how I told you I'd done a lot of fucked up shit in the past? Things you'd probably hate me for?"

"Mmhmm."

"I meant it, Bella. It's going to come out in therapy, and I just... I'm not proud of it."

"Edward," I sighed, shaking my head. "You're a good man. A loving, respectable man, who'd do anything for his friends, or for me. I'm sure there's nothing you could do that would make me ang-"

"What, like take an immense amount of drugs, get plastered off my ass, get into an almost-physical fight with a girl, take off for two weeks without telling anyone, end up in Timb-buck-fucking-Egypt, take even more drugs, and wake up in a desert alone with a black eye and no wallet?" he scoffed, his voice growing vicious. "Oh wait. I did that."

"Edw-"

"Or, how about the time that I fought with and left Tanya in Florida to catch a fucking plane by herself, while Alice, Emmett, Paul, and I road-tripped to Dallas? Done that too."

"B-"

"Or, how about the time that I tried shrooms with Paul? The time I almost fucking did heroin?" He growled into his hands, his face growing red, "Or when I practically had a threesome, Bella? Or shit, what about the time that a few of my friends almost talked me into running a train on a willing bunch of girls, Bella? Does that make you angry? Disgusted? Don't you want to fucking hate me now? Because if not, I can do this shit all night, tell you about all the reasons why I'm a fucking asshole."

"Okay." I exhaled slowly, pulling him out of my lap, and making him look at me. "I. LOVE. YOU."

He shook his head, grimacing, trying to peel his eyes from mine.

I wouldn't let him. "Edward," I shook his face, making him focus on me again. "The majority of those things you said, were an _almost_, or a _practically_, or _more _almosts. You didn't do all of them! You're not allowed to hate yourself for the things you didn't even do. You were smart enough to not do it... And even the things you did do, I can't find fault with. I _know_ the pain you were in. I lived it with you, even though I was a world away. And, to tell you the truth... I don't think there's anything you could have done... or will do, that will make me think less of you. I see you, who you are, and I love you more than anything."

"No, it shouldn't be that way, Bella."

"But it is. I know you. I know you better than you know yourself, okay? Look... I've done stupid stuff too. It's not just you. I've flirted with men I knew I shouldn't have, put myself in stupid, dangerous situations. I hopped on a motorcycle with a man I didn't know, in the middle of the night, drunk. I've gone to parties, tried things myself that I regret. I've made men upset with me, provoked them, just so I could yell at them, argue with them, try to get some of this anger out. But it's like we said, baby. Past shells. We _are not_ those people anymore."

"We are, though!" he shouted, standing up and pacing around the empty room. "Don't you see that, Bella? We are those fucking people. I'm the man that almost lost my fucking scholarship at one point because I didn't care about anything. I felt like my life had no purpose. I'm the man that almost flushed my entire fucking career down the drain because of cocaine. Did you know I sold that shit too? I did. I was the occasional dealer, Bella. Doesn't that make you proud of me? ...I'm the fucked up idiot who led his best friend on, who led multiple women on. I'm the one who used women for meaningless sex, for attention. Used his friends to get what he wanted, or to make him feel like a mother-fucking God so he could continue lying to himself and denying what a loser he was, used his parents on occasion for money and power access, and I never gave _two shits_ about it until tonight. Because now, tonight, it was all thrown in my face! I was upset about my life, sure, but I thought I could fucking walk away and move on. But I can't! It's like, bouncing in my head and shit. All I see are flashes of all the STUPID FUCKED UP THINGS I've done, and I cannot escape it."

I stood up, walking slowly toward to him. "Edward..."

"No," he shook his head and tried to walk away, but I grabbed his arm and pulled him to me.

"Edward, listen to me. Look at me right now. I mean it."

He sighed, doing as I demanded, his emerald eyes sad.

"You," I said, fighting back tears, "are everything to me. You _always _have been. There were times that... I was so angry with you, for breaking up, and for cheating. For leaving me in Forks, even though we weren't together anymore. Just as I was angry with myself. There were times when I'd do stupid things, like you've been telling me tonight, just because I was _mad _at you, at myself, at everyone in the world for seeming to have things figured out when I didn't. Like it'd justify it or something, but... I knew it really wouldn't. I still woke up angrier with myself than I was the night before, and hating myself because of it..."

He nodded, swallowing hard, "Me too."

"You need to understand..." I smiled, rubbing his hand, "that you're also the man that pulled me _out _of the fog. Can't you see that? You'd be the one, the eyes I'd see in my mind... that I could focus on when everything else was out of focus. The person I'd think about when I clutched my pillow at night, just so I could have a good night's rest... and Edward... it _worked_. Anytime that I'd be down about the things I regretted, or I was scared, I'd think of you, or write about you in my journal and pretend I was talking with you instead, and... I had _hope _again. I'd fantasize about meeting you on a lonely dirt road when we were sixty years old, and we'd have three hour conversations about where our lives led, and how happy we were that we were each other's firsts. Don't you get it? The same person that gave me heartache was also the only one who was able to take it away. No one else mended me, or healed me in any way. I wouldn't let them because..." I swallowed, kissing the tips of his fingers. "It had to be _you_, Edward. No one else for me... Not even myself."

He nodded, pulling me into his arms. Then, slowly, he relaxed and I knew I was helping him. Just like he'd always helped me.

It was quite ironic that we were hugging. Maybe it was fate, or a small gift from God. Maybe it was a sign.

But that was the first moment that I felt our son kick me.

I gasped, immediately moving my hand between us, covering our baby.

Edward pulled away, mouth open, eyes wide. "What is it?"

"It... He...," I stammered, trying to gather my thoughts, "... M-Masen. He... kicked me."

Edward sucked in a breath and put his hand near mine, and I adjusted it a little to the left.

Ten seconds later, another kick. Harder.

Our eyes met, and all we could do was smile and not say a word.

Breathlessly, we were lost in each other, and the creation we'd made between us... one of love, not war.

One of forever.

A couple of minutes later... more movement.

Edward's eyes closed and he exhaled, rubbing that area. "Thank God..."

And, to top the evening off, because he said this when I was really down after Phil's death, I knew it'd make him smile.

"Hey Edward," I said softly, rubbing his back as we continued to hug and hold that spot.

He kissed the side of my head lovingly. "Hmm?"

"...Our baby told me to tell you that he loves you."

He exhaled, bending down to kiss me while he smiled, "I fucking love you both so much... _God_, I love you."

**

* * *

**

_**2 Weeks Later  
Baby Masen: 27 weeks long. (7 months)**_

**

* * *

**

**EdwardPOV**

Yawning, I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus on the charts in front of me.

It'd been a long couple of weeks, and work was kicking my ass. I was being watched like a hawk.

Between doctor's appointments, handing Bella's house over to Victor, moving into our new place, selling my car, losing Alice, shopping for Masen's stuff, and everything else, I almost felt at times like the world was moving way faster than I was and I was running to catch up with it.

"Doctor Cullen," Aubrey passed by me, bringing the scent of sunflowers. She twisted, placing her hands on her hips. "I need to see you in my office. _Now_."

I nodded, straightening and following her. From the sound of her voice, I knew this wasn't going to be a friendly meeting.

I closed the door to her office, and moved toward the chair.

"Don't sit, this won't take long."

I nodded, swallowing hard, sticking my hands in my pockets. She never told me not to take a seat.

"I realize that things have been crazy, within this hospital, as well as in your personal life. But your formal reprimand needs to be taken care of. It can no longer be placed on the back burner."

I nodded again. This wasn't good.

"I need you to turn in your stethoscope, and your pager to Bree by eleven o'clock."

My heart dropped into my stomach, but I kept my mouth closed. This wasn't good at all.

She raised her left eye brow, leaning toward her desk, testing my silence.

I didn't speak.

"As of today, at eleven on the dot, you are suspended as my shadow until further notice. You will perform no exams, and you will deliver no babies. I don't want to see you step foot inside of a room with a patient while you are on my clock, are we understood?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied hoarsely.

"From sunrise until sunset, _if _you are on my clock, you will be performing stage five duties, including paperwork with the nurses at the front desk. You will go through charts, file names, do everything that they do. Even the _'crap' _that us doctors despise and heap pity on them for having to do. Your position here has been temporarily reduced to restricted duty. You will function, essentially, as an orderly. You can attend your schooling as normal here at the hospital, except for Thursdays and Fridays, which you will now be attended at home and online, via Skype with Professor Jadon. Any new revelations of misconduct or foul behavior that come to light from now on will result in serious consequences. Am I understood?"

"...Yes."

"Any questions?"

I shook my head, feeling my body weigh down, but my heart speed up in anger and desperation.

She sighed, forcing herself to keep her eyes on mine. "I appreciate your honesty, Doctor Cullen. I'm happy you found it in your heart to come clean with me. However, I do wonder if you would have taken the same actions if the circumstances surrounding the incident were different, and for that, I have to treat you as any other employee," she said, frowning a little. Her face looked sad. It made me feel like shit.

"I understand," I said, shrugging slightly. "For what it's worth, I owe you a lot. You've kept my head above water... Aubrey. And... I cannot imagine where I'd be and what I'd be doing if I didn't have this job to look forward to in some of my darkest moments. I promise I'm not going to let you down again."

She nodded, crossing her arms "Let's hope not."

"I won't."

"Go do as I said. Bree will help you get started and give you a new passcode, as the one you have will no longer work. You won't be logging in as a doctor, though you will still be referenced as one by your peers, includingg myself."

"Okay."

"And Doctor Cullen?"

I turned around and looked at her.

"You're on the clock. It's _Doctor Sherber_, not Aubrey."

"Yes, Doctor Sherber."

Then, focusing her paperwork in front of her, she said, "You're dismissed."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Bree threw her pen hastily on the desk.

"No, Doctor Cullen," she said, pulling the chart from my hand. "It's not organized like that."

"What do you mean? It's alphabetical."

"We don't go by just alphabetical last names," she said. "We go by that, _and _last visit date. It makes it easier that way."

"Sorry." I rolled my eyes, readjusting the last four chart folders.

"It's not like we can't expect _you _to have known that," Bree muttered beneath her breath. "Too busy being the golden shadow here and all."

"Excuse me?"

"Oh nothing."

"Mmhmm," I sighed, sitting in her chair. She had her moody days. All the people working here could tell when she was PMSing, because it drove us up a wall.

"This is horseshit," I mumbled, tossing the folders on the desk, as Jonsen passed by me and gave me a stupid grin. I flipped him off. I hated him some days.

"So," Aimee said, handing me the next chart to enter into the computer, "I have a question to ask you."

"What is it?"

"I know situations have changed but... I was wondering if you remembered the _Kings Of Leon_ concert tomorrow night?"

"Huh?" I said, turning to face her, eyebrows crinkled. "What?"

"You... me... the concert?"

"Oh," I said, shaking my head. "That. I forgot all about it."

"Yeah... I know circumstances are obviously very different, so I was just wondering what you wanted to do about the tickets? Are you still going?"

I looked over my shoulder at Bree, who was pretending to read through a file, even though I knew better. She was sweet at times, but also a nosy bitch. As were most nurses here.

I lowered my voice and turned to face Aimee again. "Uh... I can't go, obviously. But you can have my ticket, since... you know... I know you were excited about going."

She bit her lip, studying my expression, choosing her words carefully. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," I nodded, leaning back in the chair. "I'd rather just stay at home with my wife. Besides, Bella wouldn't be up for that type of thing, with the pregnancy so far along and everything. She's been getting nervous in large crowds lately. That over-protective sense women get when they're pregnant. I know she loves the band, but the past week she's been having some trouble with exhaustion... Nothing serious. But, you know. Normal reactions. You should take Dale. The tickets need to be picked up an hour before the show. They're in both our names, so either of us can pick them up. Go. Knock yourselves out, it'll be fun."

She nodded, forcing a smile. "Thanks."

"No problem."

She crossed her arms over her chest, sighing. "Are you sure Bella won't come? I'd really love the chance to get to know her. You talk about her to everyone here all the time. You're wearing that bracelet, the one you explained to Andrew… the one that matches hers. She seems real sweet... We could ...triple date, or something. It wouldn't have to be weird."

"It would be. But yeah, I'm sure. Besides, I have to continue making a few adjustments in my personal life... and a triple date involving you and Alice would not be the best situation to put my wife in."

"Why? What happened?"

I swallowed hard, shaking my head quickly. "Nothing for you to worry about. Just personal stuff. Bella needs to stay content, and that's what I intend on helping her do, as long as I can."

"Oh. Well, that's respectable of you. It's sweet, how... you know... you are with her, how you treat her. I know you love her very much. It just sucks that you guys can't come. I really wanted to hang out with you."

"Maybe some other time," I lied, knowing that circumstance was hardly probable.

"Yeah... Thank you for the tickets though."

"Enjoy the show," I said, standing up and walking away.

I needed to go call my wife and make sure she had eaten something for lunch.

I knew how she got when she worked sometimes. Put everything else, including nutrition, on the side burners.

She was as stubborn as a damned mule.

A _sexy _mule, but... a stubborn one, none the less.

**

* * *

**

_**5 Weeks Later  
Baby Masen: 32 weeks long. (8 months)**_

**

* * *

**

**RosaliePOV**

Grabbing the groceries from the back of the trunk, I turned to Bella, and handed her the lightest bag. "What about baby blue?"

"Too typical," she sighed, throwing her head back as she looked up at the sky.

We walked across the patch of grass, onto the stone sidewalk, along the bridge, and toward the front door. "Orange?"

"Too... blah," she shook her head, shuddering.

"Mmmm, yellow?"

"Too girly by itself," she exhaled, opening the front door to her new house. "Edward would shoot me if I painted Masen's bedroom yellow."

"Why? It's a neutral color."

"Because he's Edward."

"Well," I huffed, as we entered the kitchen, passing by Esme and a stream of her workers, "what does he _want_?"

"He says he wants it to be 'adorable', for me, and 'still boyish', for him. We're compromising."

"What about... dots?"

"No."

"Clouds?"

"Ew."

"Planets?"

"No..."

"Stripes?"

"Stripes?" she asked, putting away the milk.

"Yeah... like light colors. I remembered you both liked animal type themes... maybe stripes, like... with safari colors? Oranges, browns, and greens?"

"Maybe," she said, contemplating the idea. "...I like that idea, actually... Not all around the room, obviously, but... yeah. Stripes. I never thought of that."

I smiled, hopping on the counter.

"And," I continued, trying to sound easy going, "have you decided whether or not you're going to let me shoot you?"

"Rose," she exhaled, rubbing her stomach. "I look like a fat cow. Why would I want my picture taken?"

"Because I'm your sister, I need to get a portfolio together to get my loan, you need maternity shots, and I'm giving you and Edward a fair price. COME ON, think about it!"

"I'm thinking. Leave me be," she growled, sliding across the floors, gathering more things to put into her fridge, which was covered in pictures of her and Edward mostly, baby ultrasounds, her and Charlie, her and Phil, them with Esme, Carlisle, Renee, and me...

She was cute pregnant.

"Besides," I said simply, "you're not fat. You're pregnant, and there's no fat anywhere on your skinny-ass body. You're beautiful."

"Yeah, well..." she exhaled, shrugging. "...I haven't been in the mood these past two weeks to... you know... sex."

I winced sarcastically, biting my lip to fight a devilish smile. "How's Edward handling that? Does he think it's going to shrivel up and fall off if he doesn't use it hourly?"

She giggled, and shook her head. "Thankfully, no. He's good about it. No pressure, but... sometimes I see the frown in his eyes, when he's kissing on my neck and I pull away. The rejection. It's like... sometimes I feel pretty, and other times I just feel gross, back and forth, back and forth. Why would he want to rub all over me when I'm like this? We...-"

She looked around then slid closer, lowering her voice, "We tried it with me on top a couple weeks ago. Rosalie, I swear, I could barely see his face beneath my stupid large breasts and basketball-shaped stomach."

"Oh sissy," I laughed lightly, rubbing her back, "sissy, sissy. I guarantee you that when you _did _see his face, it was all smiles. He was getting some. Why wouldn't he be smiling? That man, despite his idiotic arrogance that I hate most days, loves the _hell _out of you, Bella. All of you. All he ever talks about is you, and that's fine. I'm glad he's pussy whipped, because that's how men should be, but... trust me. He loves every morsel of your being. You shouldn't worry about your weight."

"It's not insecurity, though. I know he thinks I'm beautiful. He reminds me a lot, but... I just... I don't feel it some days. Not when I'm naked, anyway. When I'm clothed and we're out and about, and it's not so hot that I'm sweating and my back and ankles don't hurt, I'm... wonderful. But... sometimes, it just... I want this baby to come _out _all ready!"

"He can't come out until the nursery is finished."

"Blah blah," she rolled her eyes, muttering about semantics.

"It's true," I said.

"I'll think about the maternity pictures after the shower tonight."

"Blah blah," I mocked back, smiling.

Edward entered a few minutes later, followed by Emmett carrying a really wide box.

"Hey," Em said, sliding past Edward, coming toward me as he gave me a nod. "What's up?"

I shrugged, picking at the stem of an apple. "How you been?"

"Good, good." He sat the box on the table while Edward started digging through drawers. "You?"

"Good. Opening a business soon."

"Oh yeah? What kind of business? A prostitute chain?"

"Photography," I sneered.

"That's straight," he said, sticking a piece of gum in his mouth. He was sweaty, as was Edward. Emmett wore a black wifebeater and loose pants. Edward was in a white t-shirt and jeans. They both looked like they'd just come back from a ten mile hike or something. "Any nudity?"

"Some. Artistic, not raunchy."

"Damn," he winked, walking toward Edward as he called out behind him, "I was going to offer up my services to be a nude model for ya."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "Trust me. No one wants to see it. It wasn't that exciting."

"That's not what you said before."

"I was under the influence of stupidity."

He smirked, throwing his head back as Edward pushed him out of the way and opened a new drawer. "I'm sure. I don't think that was what you were under the influence of."

"Oh yeah? Then what was it?"

"You were buzzed on fuck, most likely. I tend to do that to women."

"You also tend to work out their up-chuck reflexes."

He sauntered over to me, getting in my face, and whispering. "Most women can handle a big shlong. Others, like you, who are used to... smaller utensils, like Jake's... tend to choke on mine. Hence the up-chuck reflex. Am I right, babygirl?"

"I'm not your _babygirl_, and you're an idiot."

"Emmett, stop being a dick," Edward said in a fatherly tone, not even looking at us.

"She started it," he grinned, patting me on the leg and ignoring when I swung my leg to kick him.

He was lucky I missed.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Edward moved over on his back, holding the instructions in his hand as I handed him a screwdriver.

"Dude," I said, staring up at the tall ceiling, "nurseries are a pain in the ass."

"No shit," he exhaled, adjusting the shirt on his stomach with his free hand.

"I think we should be downstairs enjoying the baby shower, and make the girls come up here and build this crib. Rosalie's a tough bitch. She can pick up a wrench."

"Em, if she picks up a wrench, she'll be throwing it at your dick."

"Ohhh, you know how it goes. Same elementary school mentality. Girls are mean to boys and boys are mean to girls if there is an attraction there."

He looked over at me, rolling his eyes. "You don't want her. Stop being a cock-sucker."

"Yeah, I know I don't, but we fucked, so there's that history. I have a right to pick on her."

"Man, you have some fucked up rules. Do you seriously just make this shit up as you go?"

"Yes."

"I figured."

"But it _is _a rule. Stick something of yours inside of a girl, and you can pick on her. It's like a golden ticket."

"See, that's the reason you don't have a girlfriend."

"Maybe I don't want a girlfriend."

"Maybe that's a cop-out. Heather, for instance?"

I sighed, looking at a set of baby bibs in a package. "I don't know man... I'm not sure if I want her, or if I just don't want anyone else to have her... but she was with me last night, so obviously, it's okay for now. Until I get sick of her."

"Gotta stop playing with emotions, man. Trust me. It's a sour game you cannot win, and everyone gets hurt in the end -- including yourself."

"And you, _Mr. Happily Married, putting together a baby crib_, would know because...?"

He glared at me, dumbfounded. "_Alice_."

"Oh," I backpedaled. "Yeah. Sorry. I meant in general."

He swallowed hard, sitting up to pull something long out of the box. "How is she doing?"

"She's... doing really well," I nodded, keeping my voice calm. "She stays with me during the week, visits her mom every other Saturday... Therapy sessions three times a week, like you and Bella. I go with her on Wednesdays."

He kept his eyes glued to the instructions. "She handling it well?"

"Most days. She... has her moments, but... we've kind of created a pattern that's been helping her out when she calls _'Thunderstorm'_."

"Pattern?"

"Yeah... Like Manic Mondays, Twofer Tuesdays, Wack-A-Willy Wednesdays, Thursday Threesomes, and Friday Funbags."

He finally looked over at me, furrowing his brows. "What the hell is all of that?"

I smirked, handing him a bag of nails. "Manic Mondays we re-arrange something, make it fresh. Then we use that day to talk about things that have been bothering her, keep her focused. Twofer Tuesday is movie night, she picks and I pick. No arguing. She usually forces me to watch chick flicks, so I get even by making her watch all the _Rocky _movies. Wack-A-Willy Wednesdays was my idea, naturally. I take her to fun places that remind us of being kids, like Dave & Buster's or Chuck E. Cheese. Thursday Threesomes, we go out to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and try not to make it the same place. And Friday Funbags is our spontaneous night, where we go out to a new club or try a new sushi bar... raid Walmart and ride the bikes through the aisles and knock shit over until we get kicked out."

He looked a bit hurt, and immediately, I knew why. He wasn't used to all of this going on without him... and I wished he could be there just as much as he wanted to be there. But... life just doesn't work that way.

"Well," he said, standing up and walking toward the empty white wall, "...that's good that you're keeping her smiling, Emmett. She needs her friends."

"I do what I can." I tried not to frown. "She's really progressing well, Edward. You'd be proud of her."

"I _am _proud of her," he said, before lowering his voice so that I barely heard him. "I just miss her some days. My best-friend side of her, anyway... not necessarily, other... things."

"I know," I replied, standing up and patting his back.

I _could _tell him that she missed him too. I could tell him that the first out of seven weeks ago, after they called their friendship quits, was the worse week of her life. That she'd cried a lot, was really down. Or how, some times, we'd be talking and she'd bring him up and talk about how we should call him and invite him over, then remind herself that we couldn't. Casually mention what Edward's favorite thing was, or something about his exes, a past memory they shared...

It took about ten days to work out a silent agreement that, unless she nonchalantly asks about Bella and Edward's baby progress, we have no discussions about him and her.

It was better for all of us that way.

Me especially. Because it really sucked being Switzerland in _this _fucked up scenario.

Edward quickly changed the subject, walking away and lifting the rest of the heavy shit out of the first box. "Okay. Bella and mom are deciding colors today, room is getting painted tomorrow. I've got to get this stuff built tonight so that it can all be moved in later."

"Roger that," I said, helping him situate everything. "Ten-four, good buddy."

He smirked, shaking his head. "I need a cigarette after all of this."

"How about weed instead?" I teased.

"I wish-"

"AHHHH! _Awweeeeee_...." We heard women squealing below us, cheering and clapping.

We looked at each other, stunned for a second.

"Baby shit," we announced simultaneously, smiling. Bella was having her typical, jam-packed with too many gifts, baby shower this afternoon. We didn't want to be around to see a whole bunch of women gabbing, so we decided to stay out of sight and build instead.

It was much safer up here.

"So," Edward began as we started piecing the shit together, "I haven't told Bella yet, but... I'm thinking about doing something to honor Masen. I need your help with it..."

"Like what?"

Esme entered the room to grab a few things, so Edward was forced to whisper his idea in my ear, and I nodded as soon as he was finished. "Definitely. Do that."

"You think?"

"Yeah. I'll help. I can do it tonight... That'd be the shit."

"I just wonder if it's going to piss Bella off or not."

"Why would it?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Normally, I tell her before I go out and ask for something like that."

"Edward. Seriously. She's your wife, not your mama. With all due respect here, you can go and do things without permission. It's not like you're committing murder or shaving your head to get rid of that sex hair we all know the ladies love."

"That's not the point. I know she's not my mother, don't be a dick. It's just... she should know. I just know how traditional she is, in a sense. Not sure if she'd go for it, being that big."

"She will."

"Yeah..."

"Look, dude," I chuckled, "talk to her about it if you're so paranoid. I guarantee you, she'll be down."

"Yeah, you're probably right."

"Dude. It's me. Emmett. I'm always right."

He smirked and shook his head.

"No seriously," I continued. "I should have my own reality series, being a psychic or some shit. It'd be great."

"Oh Lord. You on television? We'd all be scarred for life."

"That, or endlessly entertained."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Fiddling with my phone, I walked down Arbor Street, heading toward the _Blue Jay Cafe_.

Makin stood outside the door, waving me down.

I grinned and gave him a nod, walking faster toward him and Colleen.

"Hey man." I shook his hand. "How's it going?"

"Good, good, haven't seen you at the apartment in a few days," he said, patting me on the back as I gave Colleen a hug.

"Yeah, I know. Been busy."

"Busy hooking up with hooker blondes," Colleen teased as we took our seats in a corner booth near the window.

"Oh come off of it," I laughed, browsing the menu, though I knew what I was going to order.

"I'm just saying, Jazz. You're lowering your standards."

"I'm single, so why not have fun?"

"Didn't you hear though?"

"Hear what?"

She grinned, leaning toward me across the table, "Having fun can come with a side order of Gonorrhea and an extra topping of pubic lice."

"You are.. disgusting." I turned toward my best friend. "Makin, I don't know how you put up with her."

"Easy," he shrugged, patting her on the top of the head like a dog. "She behaves very well."

Colleen nudged him with her elbow and moved away from him in the booth, causing Makin to laugh sourly. "She also knows how to leave your ass in the dust."

"Whatever," he scoffed, pulling her back to him and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. "You fucking get it too good, and you know that you'll never leave me."

She rolled her eyes. "You're so romantic, Makin."

"So," I said, changing the subject after we gave our orders and got our drinks. "Apparently, there's a lot of people all ready showing up for Bella's shower. She texted me a few minutes ago, told me her house was packed. It doesn't even start for another thirty-five minutes."

"Oh God, who's all there?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"All of their mutual friends, minus Alice, I guess."

"Alice isn't going to show up at all?"

I shook my head.

"My God," she frowned, looking toward the table, "that sucks, in a way."

"Yeah."

"Bullshit."

We both looked over at Makin, who was chomping his gum obnoxiously.

"I'm sorry," he chuckled, his voice as southern as mine, "but it's bullshit. The girl needs help. No offense Jazz, I know you care for her, but come on. She needs to wake up and realize that men like Edward Cullen do not fall for the Alice Brandon's of the world when the Bella Swan's are alive and willing to get back with him."

"What's _that _supposed to mean?" I snapped viciously.

"Come on. Dude. I'm your boy, and I love you more than most people on this damn planet, but..." He took out his hands, palms up, and moved them like a scale, up and down, one after another. "Bella, Alice, Bella, Alice... it's a no-brainer for any man. You go for the less fucked up of the two."

I scoffed. "She's not fucked up, Makin. She's had a lot to deal with, a lot to overcome. You cannot understand her, and I get that, but please don't talk shit about her in front of me, all right? She's a good girl, and we all know it. I'm supporting her in this. I mean... At least she's willing to battle her demons, instead of crouching away in a corner."

"Oh Jazz," he shook his head, laughing. "You're too attached to your past relationship to see things clearly. I'm sorry. But believe me when I tell you, we all have demons in our closets. We all have shit to overcome. You walked in on your best friend in college after he hung himself. Colleen's father O.D'd, and now she has an absent-father for Alyssa, a man she won't even talk to _me _about, because it's such a damn secret. My mother banged half of America and left me and my father when I was two, and I thank God daily that he loved me and didn't treat me like shit growing up. But none of us have grown a sickly obsessed mental fantasy relationship for our best friends. None of us slash our wrists, have eating disorders, walk crooked lines. She needs help. She's got more issues than _Cosmo _magazine."

I glared at him, half tempted to reach across the table and punch him in his face.

But I maintained myself, like always. It wouldn't solve anything.

"Have you spoken to her?" Colleen asked softly, re-directing my attention.

I shook my head. "I saw her once, a couple weeks ago. She called me and told me a few of my things were at the condo and I needed to pick them up if I wanted to keep them. So I did, and we said brief hellos and gave each other a hug, but there wasn't too much to discuss, so we let it be."

"That's probably for the best," Makin said, his voice not as asshole like. "No sense in her dragging you down, especially if she's caught up on someone else."

"Makin," I hissed. "Please stop."

"I'm only looking out for my friend."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "Let's just eat and get going. I don't want to be late to Bella's shower."

"You're such a girl," Makin muttered, tossing his straw wrapper at me.

"She's my best girl friend."

"Bella's also your ex."

"Yeah," I scoffed, shaking my head, "that relationship goes down for the shortest in history, thank you very much."

"Just goes to show you," Colleen exhaled, patting me on the back of the hand tenderly. "No one gets in the way of Edward when it comes to Bella, and you'll find someone else eventually. Someone better for you."

I smiled at her and hoped she was right.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Bella jumped out of the chair and into my arms, hugging me tightly. "Thank you Jazz!! I love it!"

"I'm glad," I said, rubbing her back, and then shaking Edward's hand when she let go of me. He'd joined the shower recently with Emmett, and I was glad, since there was a severe lack of men in the room besides myself and Makin.

Bella turned to show Edward the murals I'd picked out. They were by a local artist, Jessica Rollins. They were three separate paintings; one of an elephant and a caterpillar, one of a lion with a zebra peeking in the background, another with a giraffe and a monkey. Side by side, the cartoon images all blended together.

She nodded, jumping toward him. "This works perfectly with the design Rose and I've been discussing. A safari theme. What do you think?"

"I love it," he grinned, kissing the top of her head as he took the paintings and handed her another large box. "Thanks again, Jazz. Saves us an argument on themes this way."

"No problem," I chuckled, taking a seat behind Colleen, who appeared awkwardly stiff and uncomfortable since we'd arrived.

I leaned forward, whispering in her ear. "You all right?"

She jerked toward me, then relaxed and nodded, exhaling. "Yeah, just... thinking about earlier. What Makin said."

"About what?"

"About him not knowing about Alyssa's father."

"Well, no offense to Makin and with respect to your guys' relationship. But, it isn't his business to know unless you want to tell him. It's no one's but yours and Alyssa's."

"Alyssa doesn't even know," she frowned in a whisper, smiling over at Bella as she opened up a plaid shirt and blue jeans for the baby, as a gift from Carlisle. "I'd never told her who he was."

"But," I furrowed my brows, "...I thought you told Bella and I a couple of years back that he sent her Christmas cards and stuff, but that was it?"

She shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "I lied."

I wanted to ask her if she even knew who the father was, and really had the urge to do so. But I knew it wouldn't be right, nor fair to her. So instead, I rubbed the back of her neck comfortingly. "You'll figure out the best decision in due time, Colls. Maybe you should talk to Bella about it, you know? She's your best friend... it's always nice to have an understanding ear."

"I can't do that," she said. "She's too happy right now. Look at her face! I wouldn't want to get her down."

"Why? Alyssa's not Edward's is she?" I laughed sarcastically, then quickly stilled and bit my tongue. It slipped out before I had the chance to process the words in my mind.

She smirked and shook her head, and I praised the heaven's above that she didn't punch me. "No, of course not. I never even met the guy before the cabin, except maybe in passing at a party or something. But... still. It really made me feel bad that Makin pointed it out... He's never spoken about it before."

"Makin can be an ass at times, Colleen. You know that. You're dating him."

"He can be an ass, but at least he's honest. We all know it. He's not afraid to speak his mind."

"Yeah but there's a better way to approach situations. People like Emmett and Makin just don't know when enough is enough on the comments."

We watched as Edward helped Bella open a large square package, revealing a baby bouncing... walker... thing.

Colleen sighed heavily and then smiled, clapping her hands and winking at Bella, before mumbling, "Let's change the subject."

So we decided to give our full attention to the happy couple in front of us, currently holding hands and gushing.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

As I stood in line in Macy's with a few bags in my hand, waiting on my receipt and credit card, my phone started ringing. Only, in stead of the tune I expected, a familiar new song, _'X Gon Give It To Ya' _by DMX, blared from the tiny speaker.

I knew it was Emmett. He was always digging in my phone and changing the damn ringtone to fit his mood.

And how embarrassing is it to have a loud dog barking, followed by a growl, followed by _'It's not a fucking game, fuck what you heard, it's what you hearin'...listen... it's what you hearin'..." _on the highest volume setting? Pretty damn embarrassing when you are surrounded by snooty patooty shoppers. I dug through my purse, trying to find it, almost spilling everything out of the shopping bags as I did. By the time I actually got to it, DMX was spouting off, _'X gonna give it to ya. Fuck waiting for you to get it on your own, X gonna deliver it to you. Knock knock, open up the door, it's real. With the non-stop, I'll pop this stainless steel. Go hard, getting busy with it... _'

I swear, I about died right then and there.

"_Emmett_," I spat out, picking up a shirt and stuffing it back in the bag. "I'm going to _kill _you."

"Why, kittycat, you no likey your new wing-wing tone?"

"Oh yeah, real smooth, you immature prick. I just gave a fifty year old woman behind me a heart attack or busted ear drum, thanks to you."

"Ahhh, so it was a success. I'm patting myself on the back, just so you know."

I grabbed my receipt and card and booked it out of the shop faster than someone could say _'Asshole'. _

"Emmett, stop calling me kittycat. That's really annoying."

"Well you said you hated Alleycat, so it's next in line."

"It's really annoying," I repeated myself. "Why are you harassing me? Aren't you supposed to be entertaining Bella-Baby and Company at the shower?"

"Yeah, that's why I'm calling, actually. You should come out. I know Bella wants to see you. She asked about you earlier..."

"No thanks. Tell her I'm sorry, but I'm tied up for the evening. The gift is in the mail and should be delivered in two days."

"Alice, come _on_. I can duct-tape and lock _he-who-won't-be-named_ in a closet while you give her a hug and a congrats if necessary."

"That's sweet of you to offer, but really, I think it's for the best. It's been seven weeks, Emmett. Seven weeks without seeing, or talking, texting, or hand-writing_ he-who-won't-be-named_. I need to keep up the routine of things. Out with the old, in with the new."

"And you know I'm proud of you, really…But I think you're going to regret not showing up here today. It's a big event."

"Well, that's something else I'll have to deal with and discuss in therapy sessions, won't I?"

"I guess... What are you doing right now?"

"Going on my weekly shopping extravaganza, as a gift to myself for my break through in therapy this week."

"Oooh, what'd you buy?"

"Lingerie."

"Can I see?"

"Yeah, no."

"Why not? I'll offer up my most humble opinion, rank your body in it and everything. Make little score cards, one through ten..."

"No one's going to be seeing me in it. Just me and my mirror."

"Well," he scoffed, huffing over the phone, "that's no fun. Why in the hell would you want to do that in a mirror, when I live across the hall from you and can willingly be of assistance? I mean, as the friend and all. I'll even start singing fucking _kumbaya _for you, some of that _'why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends_?' bullshit."

"Because I have a new... toy, and that's all the male companionship I need."

"Whoa, whoa, back up the _Can-I-talk-shit-and-get-a-woody-from-Emmett _mobile. You got a _toy_?"

I grinned, walking down the street. "Yes."

"What kind?"

Exhaling heavily, I replied, "A bunny rabbit."

"Awe, man, the one with the clit thingy and the little thingy, and the other thingy, with the beads and the vibrations and shit?"

"Yes," I giggled, walking into _'Trash'_, the latest, trendy club outfit store.

"Damn... That's fucked up."

"Why's that?"

"A man can't compete with that shit."

"Well it's nothing for you to get your boxer's in a wad about, Emmybear. You won't have to compete, as you will be getting no where close to that portion of my body. _Ever_."

"...Still. It's the general idea."

I skidded to a stop, my heart hitting the floor, and quickly cowered down by the mannequin. "Emmett," I whispered. "I've, uh, got to call you back."

"What? Why?"

Covering my mouth, I stared across the store, at the couple fondling each other, the man kissing her neck.

"Al? ...What is it?"

"H-Heather."

"Huh?"

I shook my head, kicking myself in the ass. "Nothing. I'm going to go."

I hung up as he tried to shout for me to wait. I stared at Heather and the tall man. He was kissing all over her like they were in a private hotel room somewhere... or at least they should be.

Living with Emmett, I knew that she was with him last night. And, from the sounds I was trying to avoid in the bedroom... she seemed quite pleased with him. So _this_... made her a slut, skank whore to me. I didn't care if they weren't official. For a girl who's said countless times at his house that she'd wait for him because she cared for him... this was pretty damn low.

He licked across her neck, the tall man with black, curly, frizzy short hair. A skinnier, dopier version of an Emmett-wannabe. And she rolled her eyes in the back of her head, her face up toward the ceiling. She had on a leather number, obviously something she'd just tried on... mini skirt and tube top. _ Fitting, for the hoochie she was, if you asked me._

I balled my fingers into a fist, eyeing them down like they were death.

Emmett was my friend. You don't fuck with my friends. Especially not in front of me.

I started to head toward her as she entered the wardrobe area to change, ready to beat her fucking head into a pulp. My ringtone started blaring, and I had to skid to a stop and answer it, ducking down so the man she was with wouldn't see me. "I can't talk right now," I hissed into the phone, peeking around the legs to see if she came out yet.

"What the hell is going on?"

"I'm. Busy," I sneered, setting down the bags and rolling up my sleeves. I was about to go in there and kill her.

"What. The. Fuck. Is. Going. On?" he sneered back.

"You don't need to know."

"The hell I don't. Spill."

"It's nothing."

"SPILL, damn it."

"No."

"Yes."

"_No_."

Heather walked back out quickly, dressed as she took his hand.

Huffing, I closed my eyes and shook my head. "You don't wanna know."

"_Now. _Alice." He was getting really upset with me. Scary Emmett was never a good thing to wake up. He was like an angry bear when it happened, not the cute and cuddly one.

"It's just... I saw... someone you know, doing something she shouldn't, but I'm going to take care of it."

"Who? It was a girl? What did she do?"

I listened as they talked about hitting a club, and watched them walk out of the store before I had a chance to toss my phone and rip her hair out.

"It's... I just..." I closed my eyes. "Nothing. I was confused. I thought she was... someone else."

"Mary Alice Brandon, if you don't fucking tell me what is going on, I swear to God, I'm kicking your ass two ways from Sunday as soon as I see you again."

I heard Edward in the background saying, "What? What is it? Is she hurt?"

"I don't fucking know," Emmett hissed toward him. "She's turned into a goddamn mute suddenly."

It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest. He was concerned about me. I didn't want him to be. He shouldn't be.

"Nothing, I'm going to go."

"ALICE."

"Bye, Em," I said, closing my eyes. I would not cry over this. Crying was overrated.

Taking a deep breath, I ignored the sales woman asking me if she could help me, and booked it out of the store.

Two minutes later, he called again.

And kept calling.

If I turned off my phone, I knew it wouldn't take ten minutes before he had the F.B.I looking for me, thinking someone had kidnapped me or something.

I had no choice to tell him because, when it came to Emmett, I was a shitty liar.

"Mmmmm-hmm," he said coldly, as soon as I finished speaking.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm really... sorry, Emmett."

"What club did she say she was going to with him?"

"_X-Rated_."

He scoffed and inhaled sharply. "All right. Thanks."

"What are you going to do?"

"What the hell do you think I'm going to do? Go see it for myself."

"Do you think that's wise, Emmett?"

"Yep. I'll talk to you soon."

He hung up before I had a chance to object. And then his phone was turned off and I couldn't call him back.

He knew there was no way in hell I'd run over to Edward's new house and try to stop him.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Emmett slammed his phone on my counter, and I quickly retracted, making sure none of Bella's guests in the great room heard him.

Thankfully, they were all too busy cheering and playing baby-related games. Though Bella loved getting the gifts and spending time with her friends, I knew she wasn't as into the attention that everyone wanted to give her.

She'd never been one of those types.

"What's going on?" I whispered to him, moving closer.

"Alice."

"What about her?"

He groaned, rubbing the top of his head. "She's not hurt, don't worry. She just... she saw Heather and some fucktard macking all over each other in a store. They're going to _X-Rated_ tonight."

"_Your _Heather?"

He scoffed and shook his head, "...Apparently not."

Frowning, I patted him on the back, "I'm sorry man..."

I watched as his hands curled into fists, and knew this wasn't going to be good.

"Tell Bella I'm sorry and I had to leave."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"To see for myself."

"Emmett, no."

He jerked toward me, his eyes almost coal black. "And are you going to fucking stop me?"

"Easy, buddy. I'm on your side, all right. But this is senseless, come on."

"You're on my side?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then come with me."

"Awe, man..." I held my breath, knowing I should say no. It was the smart, responsible thing to do, and I knew it. I had a new life with my wife. I had to take care of Bella and Masen. Be the man I wanted to be, that my father never was. Stop putting myself in stupid situations.

But Emmett had been my brother, my friend, through thick and thin. There for me with the James incident, for everything I'd done and got fucked up doing.

I was torn, but I owed it to him to make sure he was safe.

I knew, without me, he'd fuck himself over royally, and there was no way I could talk him out of going once his mind was set, which it clearly was. I could see the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

I had no choice.

"All right," I said after a few minutes. "All right. I'll come. Give me just a second to go tell Bella I'm leaving."

"Don't fucking tell her what I'm up to."

"I won't, but... Just wait."

"All right man, hurry up."

As I entered the room, I saw Bella look up and smile at me, ignoring the people talking to her around the circle.

All she saw was me, bless her innocent heart.

It made me want to strangle myself.

_I am so fucking dead._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Emmett pulled up to the VIP entrance at the club, and we stepped out of the car, onto the busy street.

He tossed his keys over to the valet, and we adjusted our jackets.

"Remember," I said, as we nodded to Alec, the bouncer, "stay cool. Keep your temper in check."

"Dude, stop saying that shit. I heard you the first hundred times."

"Well, that's because I don't want a fight to break out and end up in jail by midnight."

"Look. You said you were here for me, so be _here _for me. Back me up, man, damn. That's all I'm asking."

"All right, all right, I'm here, I'm backing you up. Just... do what you need to do and let's get the hell out of here."

Emmett muttered shit beneath his breath as we passed through the dancing crowd and strobe lights.

My stomach was in my ass. I felt really fucking strange, being in this place. It never used to bother me. But now, things were different. I felt like I didn't belong here, especially not without Bella. It made me nauseated to think about what consequences this may have by the end of the night.

I felt guilty as fuck. Though I didn't lie to Bella about my whereabouts, I didn't tell her everything.

I should have.

I needed to call her as soon as this was over.

We continued to move, nodding to a few of our old party friends. It didn't take long to spot Heather, along with a tall man, dancing against a ledge on the second story

Before I had a chance to breathe, Emmett stalked toward the steps.

I tried to grab him, to tell him to relax for a second and gather his thoughts,. But I got cut off.

By Tanya fucking Denali.

"Edward," she purred, running her hand down my chest, "long time, no fuck."

"Yeah, Tanya, I'm busy," I tried to walk past her, but she grabbed a hold of my jacket, spinning me around to face her.

It took all the strength I had to not knock her on her ass.

"I figured you would have called me by now... normally it doesn't take you this long to come crawling back into my bed."

"Trust me, it'll never happen again." I looked over her head, trying to find Emmett. No luck. He was lost in the crowd.

"I miss you, Edward."

"I'm married, Tanya. Bella and I are _happily _married."

"So?"

I glared down, looking at her like she was a fucking idiot. "What do you mean, so?"

"Like being attached to someone's ever stopped us before."

"I've never been attached to anyone but my _wife_."

She ran her polished fingernail up my shirt, toward my jaw. "I can show you a good time... I know you like to play rough sometimes... I remember alllll about your bad-boy roleplay nights."

I grasped her wrist, too firmly, and squeezed tight, watching as she winced. "Don't fucking touch me."

"You're h-hurting me."

"Good."

"Edward, quit!"

"Then listen to me," I sneered bitterly, my voice low and cold. "I am not yours. Nor have I ever been. We are not getting back together. I do not want to fuck you. I do not want to be near you. We have _nothing _to say to each other."

"Oh please," she laughed, ignoring me as I squeezed her wrist even tighter, because she was a sadomasochistic freak. "There's no way you've changed that much. People cannot do one-eighties, despite what some think. You are the same asshole who likes to fuck multiple women, and I'm the same girl who likes to _be _one of those women. Just because she's put a ring on your finger doesn't mean she can keep you tied down, Edward. You're too free for her. You'll get bored."

"No. I won't."

"Come on," she said, stepping closer to me. "...we'll play the whole scenario again... I'll be the helpless girl in the dark alley... I remember how you liked that one."

"The only thing I liked," I sneered, leaning down toward her face, "was watching you leave my house after I was done fucking your brains out and using you for nothing but seriously irritating entertainment value out of sheer boredom. You never meant anything to me, you stupid _fucking _bitch, besides another girl who called my name when I bent her over my dresser so I wouldn't have to look at her face. Don't think for a second that I will ever call you, text you, or want you again. You are pathetic for even thinking it. Now get the fuck away from me."

I released her wrist hastily, and she wrapped her free hand about it, glaring up at me. I could tell I'd bruised her… again.

"Don't fuck with me Edward. I can ruin your life if you test me."

Scoffing, I moved closer to her again, relying on every ounce of will I had to not choke her out. "...Try me."

Her eyes narrowed, and I could tell I'd pissed her off. I was expecting a slap in the face.

But when she moved forward and tried to put her lips on mine, my first instinct was to react. I quickly grabbed her by her face, first palming her, but she pushed forward. My hand wrapped firmly around her jaw, stopping before we made any form of contact, and I pushed her backward, harder than I thought.

Her ass hit the ground and then she tumbled onto her back. People gasped, clearing a space and assessing the situation at hand.

The first thing I noticed was about six men looking at me, two of whom stepped toward me and the helpless girl on the floor.

That's when I realized I was about to get jumped.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After everyone left, Rosalie, Jake, and Esme stayed behind to help me load all the presents into a spare bedroom.

I glanced at my watch and sighed.

Edward had been gone a while... I tried my hardest to not be the typical worried wife, but I had a gut feeling that something was off.

He didn't tell me where he was going, only that he was going with Emmett to see Heather somewhere, and he'd be back shortly.

I knew he wasn't telling me everything, but I didn't want to impose on him... Now I was wishing I would have.

The achy feeling in my stomach would not go away.

"Bella," Esme said as I leaned against the door frame in the empty nursery, "are you okay, sweetheart?"

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Yeah. It's been a long day."

"Are you sure?"

"Mmhmm," I caressed my stomach, trying to get Masen to calm down. He was going berserk.

"I'll go get you some water," Esme said, obviously not believing me. I didn't blame her. I didn't sound convincing.

The house phone rang, and I ran into our bedroom, yanking it off the hook.

"Hello," I said breathlessly, praying silently.

"Bella?"

"Edward?"

"Yeah... Listen. I need you to pick me up."

"Where are you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm all right... I'm at a club, _X-Rated,_ on the Seattle strip. Can you come?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way. What are you doing at a club?"

"I'll tell you when you get here. I'll be in the side alley."

"All right, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Okay. Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"...I'm sorry."

The sound of his voice spoke volumes.

I threw on a jacket and was out the door without saying a word to anyone in our house.

During the drive there, various scenarios ran through my head, each one worse than the one before. I wondered where Emmett was. I wondered why Edward sounded defeated. I wondered why they were at a club. I wondered why he wouldn't tell me where they were going in the first place.

All I wanted to do was get there and make sure he was all right.

I wasn't even angry. I was just worried.

As soon as I made it through the crowded street, a bouncer parted the crowd once he recognized Edward's old car. He let me through, into the back alley.

The first thing I noticed was a group of guys gathered in a tight circle.

Then I saw my husband, crouched down against a brick wall, his head in his hands.

My heart jumped inside my throat as the brakes squealed to a stop. I jumped out, leaving the door open and the car running. I ran around the front, toward him. The guys parted, looking at me, talking under their breaths as they tried to figure out who I was. I could tell they weren't a threat to Edward. They must know him.

My feet slipped in the gravel and I lowered myself to my knees in front of him. "Edward!" I gasped, grabbing his hands, "are you okay?"

He looked up at me, and I gasped, covering my mouth.

There was a gash on his lip, and a bruise forming beneath his left eye.

"Oh my God!" I said, grabbing a hold of his face, "What happened to you?!"

He shook his head, his hands on my wrists. "It's nothing. Come on, let's go."

"This is not nothing! Who did this to you?!"

"It's my fault," he whispered, though the guys around him were chanting, "_naw, you did what you had to do man" _and _"she deserved it."_

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

He growled, tucking my hair behind my ears, his hands shaking. "I came here with Emmett because he found out Heather was here with another man. I knew I shouldn't have, my instincts told me not to. But he's my friend and I had to make sure he didn't do anything stupid. I lost him in the crowd, and before I had a chance to find him, I ran into Tanya. I tried to tell her to leave me alone, but she wouldn't. I told her I didn't want her, that I was happily with you, but she wouldn't listen to me. We got into an argument, and it turned physical. I put my hand on her to get her to stop trying to kiss me, and she fell on the floor. The next thing I knew, I woke up and was laying on the ground in the club. I... got knocked out. I think some of my old friends stepped in and helped me, but it's kind of fuzzy right now..."

As he was talking, I noticed a gash on the side of his neck, and a few marks on his arms where his sleeves were pushed up a bit. I didn't want to know what he looked like beneath his shirt.

Once he was finished, I was seething mad. "And you're okay?"

"Yes."

"And that bitch tried to kiss you?!"

He shook his head, wincing as he rose to his feet and pulled me up with him. "I'm really sorry, Bella, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have come-"

"No, no, no, WAIT. Tanya tried to _kiss _you tonight?! After you told her you were married?!"

"...Yes."

"Oh," I said, backing away from him. "Fuck that."

"Bella, Bella, come on."

He grabbed a hold of me, but I jerked away, pushing him back. I wasn't angry at him, but he was getting in my way, and I couldn't have that. "Back up!"

"Bella, hey, I know you're upset with me, you have every right to be. But listen, we need to get out of here before the cops come and-"

"SHE FUCKING TRIED TO KISS MY HUSBAND, Edward! Why in the hell would you think I'd put up with that?!"

He tried to grab me again as I stormed toward the front door. He ended up running behind me. "I know you're angry baby. I'm upset too, but you're pregnant and cannot be doing this right now. Let's just leave. Come on, she's not worth it."

"Ohhh the hell she isn't."

I pushed past the bouncer, and headed into the club. It took only two seconds to spot the bitch in her brown leather pants that had cross ties in front of the crotch and a black tank top.

Edward tried to grab me, putting his hands on my hips, but I turned around and pushed him away again. "QUIT!"

He stood his ground in front of me. "Bella, listen to me. If she hits you, you can seriously get hurt, or Masen can. Think about this."

"She isn't going to touch me," I muttered, twisting and continuing my storm toward her.

"Bella!" He hissed, following my path, grabbing at my hand every time I jerked away from him. "Please, I'm begging you, listen to me."

I saw red as I stepped in front of her on the dance floor, and she spun around to face me.

Her eyes bounced from mine, to Edward's, then back to mine.

I didn't give her a single second to speak before I pushed her hard, knocking her into a group of girls dancing behind her.

She retaliated after a stumble, getting up in my face. "What the hell is your problem, you stupid skank?!"

I didn't think as my hand wrapped around her throat, despite the fact that she stood a good three inches above me. "If you ever, fucking _EVER_, try to put your slimy fingers or your nasty ass lips on _my _husband again, I swear to God as my witness, I will fucking murder you."

She tried to push away from me as Edward's hand wrapped around my waist and he attempted to pull me back. He failed. As did she.

I may be tiny, but I was also pretty damn fast.

I lunged forward and swung my right arm, my fist making contact, hitting her square in the nose with all the strength and adrenaline I had in me. I heard the crack above the music. She fell onto the floor, both hands covering her face. But I leaned forward and grabbed her by the top of her hair to lift her up. I wasn't finished with her yet.

All I got in was a knee jab to her head. The next thing I knew, people were pulling her away from me, Emmett was standing in front of me, and Edward had me off of the ground, in a backward bear hug, arms wrapped carefully around my chest to avoid my bulging stomach..

"Bella, damn it, that's enough!" Edward shouted, walking backward, Emmett making sure no one attacked me or Edward as the three of us made our way out of the club, my feet not touching the ground.

I didn't even realize we were outside until Edward had me pinned against a brick wall, his hands holding onto my shoulders, keeping me locked in place.

"You need to calm down," he said, voice trembling, hands shaking against my frame. "Do you hear me?"

I glared at him, still wanting to go back in and make up for all the lost years. I wanted to turn her into ashes. She had it coming to her.

"ISABELLA MARIE CULLEN, DO YOU HEAR ME?"

"_YES_," I sneered, not moving my eyes from his. "I hear you."

"Then let's go."

"Edward, man, I'm really sorry. One second, you were behind me, the next, you weren't. I tried looking for you, and the next thing I heard, you'd gotten into a fight. Then I saw Bella and Tanya... I don't even know what to think right now! I mean.. W-What the fuck just happened in there? How'd Bella get here?!"

Edward didn't even look at Emmett as he pulled me off of the wall. "Let's move."

"Where are we going?" I asked, as he hastily helped me into the passenger seat. My heart started to race again.

He didn't say a word to Emmett as he got in the car, and drove off away from the alley and onto a back road. "The hospital. We have to make sure Masen is okay. You're really fucking stupid, Bella. I love you to death, but that was reckless. Do you have any idea how much damage you could have done if she or someone else who didn't care that you are pregnant took a swing at you?! GOD I am so pissed off at you right now."

"You're pissed off at _me_?! Why didn't you tell me where you were going, Edward?! Don't try to act like Mister Innocent over there!"

"I never said I was innocent, Bella. I'm a fuck up, we all know this. I've been trying to tell you. I messed up, I know. I've apologized, and I got my ass beat for the first time in the process of my epiphany. But what you did was really careless. I wasn't begging for a fight, I didn't mean to put myself in a position to where I had to put my hands on Tanya, but you did. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"Oh, I see, defending my husband was stupid and careless, but you defending your good buddy Emmett wasn't?"

"I know it was, FUCK!" He inhaled, gripping the steering wheel tight as he turned onto a different road.

He took a deep breath, and calmed down, the best he could. "I should have never fucking gone there. I'm really stupid. I put us both in danger, when I should have just stayed home with you and Masen and let Emmett be an adult and handle shit himself."

I swallowed hard, rubbing my hand on my stomach. It wasn't erratic anymore, surprisingly. All was calm inside.

Masen must have been exhausted helping me kick that whore's ass.

We were silent for a few moments.

"I'm... really sorry." he huffed, turning into the hospital.

I climbed out of the car, not giving him the chance to run around and open the door for me. "We'll talk about this later."

All I could think was that Aimee had better not be there, or I'd make this a two-for-one special tonight.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Edward closed the front door to our house behind me, and tossed the keys up on the counter top.

I only agreed to go inside if he got checked out too. He objected countless times, but eventually allowed it. He came back clear.

My check-up came back okay, as well. No problems. They monitored me for an hour just to make sure.

And Aimee wasn't there, luckily for her. I would have had no problems letting her feel my wrath tonight.

We didn't talk the entire car ride home. We didn't talk while we changed out of our clothes. We didn't talk while we let the dogs outside. And we didn't talk when we entered the bedroom again.

I had to be calm. I had to be rational.

It took almost thirty minutes before I turned to Edward and said calmly, but sternly, "You can't be this guy anymore."

He looked over at me, frowning.

"You can_'_t, Edward. You can't go being the hero every time something bad happens in someone's life. Not even your friends. Your responsibility isn't to _them _anymore. It's to me. It's to Masen. It's to yourself."

"...I know."

"Do you? Do you really know?"

"Yes."

"I get that Emmett was pissed off and you wanted to protect your friend. I really do. I used to do the same thing with my friends, back them up. But Emmett is a big boy, Edward."

He nodded, rubbing his legs uncomfortably.

"Do you remember what the condition was when I agreed to marry you? I said that you had to realize that when you made decisions, you weren't just making them for Edward. You were making them for Edward, Bella, _and _Masen."

"I remember."

"And do you see where your reactions got us all tonight? In fights. In the hospital. You with a black eye, bruised ribs, and a gash on your lip. Me with a guilty fucking conscience and a stupid moment of revenge."

"I know, Bella," he exhaled. "I cannot apologize to you enough. I fucked up, I _know _this. I knew it before the fight even happened. All my instincts kept telling me was how guilty I felt for being there, for not telling you where I was, for putting myself into a stupid club when I could be at home with my wife... I _know_."

"Then why didn't you call me when you first started feeling that way? I could have been there, I would have been! I would have backed _you _up!"

"Because," he stood up, pacing around the front of the bed, "you don't know how hard it is for me some days. How badly I want to be this man to you, _for _you, this charming husband and father that does everything right. This person that learns from his mistakes... But I cannot learn from them unless I make them, and that's what life is, unfortunately. Making mistakes. Making decisions. It's really hard to go from being a total asshat, to this responsible grown up. I'm still young. I'm still in med school. I'm still working on things. I can handle this, yes, I can. I want to. I live willingly for you, for Masen. I WANT THIS LIFE WITH YOU. But you've got to cut me a break every once in a while. I'm not asking for much, I'm not demanding a fucking sympathy pass for tonight. All I'm saying is you must give me a chance to figure out that the person in my past is not who I am anymore. You've got to let me learn for myself."

I nodded, unsure of how to respond. My chest was tightening. I didn't like to argue with him.

"I just... I love you so much," he continued, "so fucking much, Bella, and you _know _this. You know how much I'd go through for you, how quickly I'd die for you, walk through fire for you, push myself off of a damn cliff if I had to. Anything it'd take to make you happy. But... I'm going to fuck up on occasion Bella. I've told you this. I told you not to put all your faith the single idea that I could change everything about the dark side of me in only a few months. I don't have it all figured out, nor do you. We have to learn together, grow together. We cannot keep letting people like Tanya and Alice, Aimee and Ryan, and whoever the fuck else, get between us. That's not who we are. NO ONE should slip between us."

"I know," I whispered, fighting back tears. "They're not."

He growled, tugging on the ends of his hair.

"GOD DAMN IT!" he cursed, spinning around and stopping himself short before he punched the wall with his fist. He growled louder, his voice growing feral.

I jumped, frozen in place on the bed because I didn't expect that noise to come from him, as he pushed his forehead into the same spot and closed his eyes.

He didn't frighten me, I knew he wouldn't hurt me, wasn't physically capable of hurting me. I wouldn't even think like that.

He was just really angry with himself.

And one thing I knew. When Edward was silent-angry, leave him alone.

I chewed on my nail, fighting back apologies that wanted to come out of my mouth. I knew I was in the wrong as well.

But I also knew how Edward was. If I apologized for my actions, he'd some how spin it around to make it all his fault, and be angry with me for taking part of the blame.

That was one thing we'd learned through our therapy sessions these past seven weeks.

I watched as his back rose and fell, slower with time, as he calmed himself, controlled his breathing.

Wetness slipped from my eyes as I crawled to the end of the bed, toward him.

His hand rose up, palm to me, halting my actions. I watched from a distance as a tear moved down the tip of his nose, and fell onto our floor.

My chest ached, because all I wanted to do was make him feel better. Half of this was my fault. We were both stupid.

"E-Edward," I whimpered, in spite of myself, "I'm really sorry."

"Shhh," he said, closing his eyes, still in his spot. "Don't cry, Bella. This is _not _your fault."

All of a sudden, flashes of men kicking my husband came to me, fists meeting his flesh, and I shivered, trying not to imagine what happened in that club. "Edward..."

"Bella please," he whispered desperately. "Don't. For one second, just... don't."

"Okay," I said, clutching my chest.

I shut my eyes, listening to him sniff.

_I'm sorry, _I thought to myself._ I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was stupid, I know that now. I'm sorry._

How could I be upset with him for protecting his friends?

Despite what I think, I know that if it was Colleen in that club and I wasn't pregnant, regardless of anything else, I would have been there to back her up too.

This wasn't fair, the way I was treating him.

The way he took the blame.

Arms wrapped around me, startling me at first.

I exhaled and wound my arms around his neck, letting him cry onto my shoulder.

"Shhh," I whispered in his ear, rubbing my hand across his heated neck, "it's over now."

"I'm so sorry Bella. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me for this."

"No, I don't. Edward, I swear I don't. I love you more than anything. We just... we really have to think about things from now on. I know we're trying our best and we're doing what we can, but it's not enough. We have to try even harder."

He nodded, squeezing me tighter, lifting me off of the bed. "I won't ever do this shit again, Bella. Not like this. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you where I was going. I was just... afraid you wouldn't let me go, and I couldn't bare the idea of losing another one of my friends right now."

"I know," I whispered. "I'm sorry you thought that about me."

"I won't again."

"I won't either," I said, shaking my head. "And I was wrong. I can't tell you to think for three people, when I didn't do it either. I wasn't thinking about anything when I went in there and hit her, except how good it felt. I put our son in danger, I put you in a panic, and I shouldn't have."

He pushed his face into my neck, breathing in big gulps of my scent. "I just... get so scared... at the thought of you not being safe, Bella. I don't ever want to see you in that position again. I don't ever want to put you there, be the root and the cause again. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, it's okay. It's over now."

He nodded, kissing the side of my neck. "You have to help me. You have to keep me in line, promise me?"

"I promise, Edward. We're going to continue helping each other. Grow stronger."

"Okay," he nodded, holding me desperately still. "...Say you still love me? I need to hear it."

I laughed softly, because it was a stupid fear that necessitated it. "Let's put that one in the vault with all the other questions and comments we're never allowed to say to each other again, all right? At least, don't ever say it because you're afraid it's not true."

"Okay... It's a deal."

"And yes, Edward. Always. I'll love you eternally. Even when you're being a royal pain in my ass."

_Especially when you're a royal pain in my ass_, I thought, though I'd never say it out loud. Not now, anyway.

He smirked against my skin, "Even better."

Inhaling, he pulled away, and ran his thumb against my ear as we breathed each other in. He brushed the hair off my shoulder, and clutched the back of my neck.

I tasted him on my lips before we even touched, felt the desperation in my heart as our eyes closed simultaneously.

And then, when he kissed me, it was as if he'd kissed me for the very first time, in this moment. Everything about it was new. From the soft brush of his bottom lip, to the way his mouth formed and molded into mine, to the irreplaceable taste that was of him, to the physical need between us... it was the perfect make-up kiss.

He pulled away briefly, and inhaled, before kissing me again, with so much passion that it made my head spin and my heart race.

I felt like a teenager, all over again.

Sighing into his mouth, I ran my fingers against his neck, opening my mouth wider and shivering when his tongue moved against mine, in gentle circles.

I never wanted this kiss to end.

It was one I wanted to frame in a picture and file away for my grandkids to look at it someday, to remember a _great love_ with. An _earned _love.

A moment I'd never forget, regardless of what circumstances brought us here.

...Because all that mattered was that we _were _here, we were safe, we were learning from our mistakes, and we were together.

Stronger, still.

**

* * *

**

_**The Next Day**_

**

* * *

**

**EmmettPOV**

I woke up on my couch, with half the cushions on the floor. It'd been a rough night.

I was a selfish idiot.

Edward wasn't picking up his phone, or calling me back, even though I left him ten apologetic voice mails. Ten.

I never leave any voicemails, unless it's a special occasion. So for me to leave ten is saying something.

I know he went to the club with me because he thought I was going to fight some guy over Heather, and wanted to make sure I didn't get hurt. The ironic thing was, it wasn't me who ended up in a fight. And I should have never asked him to go with me in the first place. Shouldn't have went there with him. What kind of friend was I last night?

It was almost as if there were two sides of me... the kind, generous, do-anything, make people laugh side...

Then there was the ugly, pig-headed, don't-think-before-you-react side.

I didn't know how to fix it.

Opening my eyes, I watched as Alice slid her feet across the floor, hunched over, bent at the knees, dragging a loaded black trash bag in front of her as she walked toward my back patio door.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"More... recycling," she huffed, as she kept moving.

"What the hell are you recycling now? It's been seven weeks. Do you even have any more shit left, or are you going out and buying shit just to throw it away?"

"I have _loads _of shit, don't you worry about that."

I watched as the tiny girl lifted the garbage bag over her shoulder, twisted around, opened the sliding glass door, walked the bag down the alley, and tossed it into the dumpster.

She brought a new definition to the phrase _tiny but mighty_. I wondered briefly if she was on crack.

It was times like this that I was frightened of my miniature friend.

"So," she said as soon as she entered the living room again, placing her hands on her hips, "how'd it go last night, with Heather?"

"I saw what she was doing, saw the man she was with, was about to walk up to her and tell her to fuck herself and that we were through, and then the next thing I heard, a fight broke lose in the club, things went down, and... eventually I just left."

"Who got into a fight?"

I shrugged, looking toward the kitchen so she couldn't tell I was lying. "Not sure. Wasn't me, surprisingly."

"Wow, Em. I'm proud of you."

"Yeah..." I nodded, standing up and sticking my hand in my pants to readjust myself, "I'm hopping in the shower."

"I'll be sure to flush the toilet while you're in there," she joked as she headed back toward her bedroom.

"You're real cute, ya smartass."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

As soon as I threw on a tan t-shirt, hat, belt, pair of jeans, and my shoes, my doorbell rang.

There were only a few people who took the time to ring my doorbell, and one of them I wanted to punch. _Too bad I'd go to jail for domestic violence if I did._

I knew I had to get to the door before Alice did, and she probably had a head start.

I listened as her bedroom door swung open, and then ran out of my room, intercepting her in the hallway.

"Emmett!" she hissed as my hands wrapped around her waist and I lifted her off of the ground, "Just let me handle this, it'll take two seconds!"

"Alice, _I _can do it," I whispered back to her.

She fought and kicked in my grasp, almost meeting my junk, but I spun us around, and pinned her up against my bedroom door.

"Hey," I said hastily but quietly, as my doorbell continued to chime, "stop! You can't go beat up every girl that fucks me over."

"Yes I can!"

"No. You cannot."

"Why not? You do it to the men in my life," she said, trying to arch her back to push herself off of the door.

I didn't budge. "That's different."

"How is it different?!"

"Because... it just is! Would you please stop kicking me!"

"Then let me go."

"No."

"Yes," she huffed, pushing toward me again. She almost got loose that time.

"_No_."

"Yes!" she shouted, doing the same arch, push off thing.

This time she moved me back a bit, and the next thing, I twisted around to gain control, but she started moving and squirming like a fucking bunny rabbit on steroids, and I knew it was a choice between dropping her and risking her taking Heather's head off, or falling down and not letting her go.

I chose the latter, and we hit the ground, her above me, almost knocking the wind out of me.

I tried to hang on to her, but the little demon was fast, and all it took was an accidental knee to the groin for me to release her, and then she was crawling toward the door.

That's when I realized I had about three seconds to react.

So I did what any twenty-something man would do. I crawled after her, and grabbed her ankles right before her hand touched knob.

She fell on top of me again, and I rolled us over, holding her in place. "Listen to me. _Listen_. I'm going to handle this. LET ME handle it. All right?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You've got five minutes, Emmett. If you don't step up, _I'm _stepping in. Got it?"

"Deal. Stay fifteen feet back at all times."

I climbed to my feet and waited until Alice moved away from the door before opening it.

There Heather was, standing in tight skinny jeans, tall heels, a fitted t-shirt, sunglasses on her head, and a huge smile on her face.

"Hey baby," she said, stepping in and wrapping her arms around me. She kissed my cheek, surely leaving lipstick residue, before humming against my skin. "I missed you last night."

I kept my breathing in check as I shut the door behind her. "Yeah, I'm sure you did."

"I did," she whispered, walking us backward, toward my hallway and presumably my bedroom. "So, so much."

"Mmhmm," I said, inhaling through my nose.

"And... I really think we need to talk."

"Oh yeah," I said, as we passed Alice, watching her glare holes into the back of Heather's head. "About what?"

"Well," she hummed as we pressed against my bedroom door, and her hand started to push up my shirt, "...I've been thinking... it's about time that we make this relationship permanent again, Emmett... I know you're scared, and I know you're worried that we're not going to work out, and that my parents are religious and will try to shoot you again or something, but... I really want to be with you... I know you want me too. You said I was your _someone_, remember?"

I closed my eyes, fighting the urge I had to just fuck her one more time and send her on the way. That wouldn't get me anywhere.

She moved her right knee up, rubbing against the seam of my jeans lightly, creating friction.

My mouth fell open and my head hit the door. It took me a minute to reassess.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Alice take a step toward me, her eyes holding nothing but resentment.

"Uh-h-h," I stammered, trying to keep my mind off of my dick and on the situation at hand.

Heather twisted my doorknob, and we went fumbling back into my room, toward my bed.

"No, no, Heather, look, we need to seriously talk about this."

She pushed me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, not bothering to close the door. I knew she was doing it on purpose.

She gave up trying to befriend Alice weeks ago.

_Shit. Alice._

"Listen," I said, sitting up and grabbing her hips, "we can't do this."

"Yes we can. Come on, Emmett, I promise I'm not going to hurt you. We can finally be together."

"No, no, we can't."

"We _can_," she purred in my ear, removing my hat and then tugging on the top of my hair.

She started rocking on my lap, and I lifted my hand up, freezing Alice in the doorway.

"Heather, seriously, we can't."

"Come on baby," she said, kissing down my neck. "I want you so much."

"No you don't."

"Yes I do, only you."

I froze for a second, then jerked my head back. "Only me?"

She batted her lashes at me. "Yes. Only you. Only my Emmett."

My erection fell down just as quickly as it came up. "Really?"

"Yes," she giggled, trying to move.

I wouldn't let her. "Did you tell that to the other guy last night as well? Was he yours too?"

"What other guy? There is no other guy..."

I moved her back a bit, forcing her to look at me instead of try to kiss me. "The tall man with the stupid jacket that had his tongue rammed inside your mouth inside _X-Rated_ last night."

She stared at me, her mouth open, her eyes searching mine.

"Yeah," I scoffed, standing up and putting her to her feet, "you fucked up. I saw it."

"What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean."

"No, I don't."

"I saw you, Heather! I don't know how else to tell you, I don't speak fucking Chinese or Latin, okay! I saw you."

"B-But," she shook her head franticly, "you must have misunderstood the situation."

I raised my left eyebrow, looking at her because she obviously thought I was stupid. "Tell me how the hell I misunderstood. He had his hands gripping your ass. His tongue rammed down your throat. Your leg hitched on his hip, and your fingers in his hair. You two were five seconds away from ripping open a condom and calling it a night."

Heather was silent for a few minutes, looking like I ran over her cat.

I wished she had one. I probably would have run it over.

Okay... I wouldn't have. I love all animals. But still. I was that pissed off at her.

"Oh, I see," she said, sniffling as she looked toward my floors. "It's okay for you to fuck other people, but not me?"

"I haven't fucked anyone since you and I started hooking up again."

"Bullshit. That is such bullshit."

"How is it bullshit?!"

"You moved another girl into your _house_, Emmett. What did you expect me to believe? That you all stayed up all night, every night, on opposite sides of the room, playing Checkers? Battleship? Come on, I'm not stupid! You asked her here because you're attracted to her!"

"Alice has nothing to do with this, Heather! She's my friend, a _good _friend, and I wanted her here with me because she needed my help and I enjoyed her company. Don't try spinning this shit around on me!"

"Emmett, come on! Are you going to look me in the eye and tell me that you two have never hooked up?!"

I glared at her, and shook my head slowly. "Alice isn't my girlfriend Heather, and I never fucked her."

"Oh, but you've wanted to, haven't you?!"

"Are you out of your mind?! No, I did not want to fuck my friend, okay? But if I did, she'd be a hell of a lot better person about it than you!"

"Oh," she scoffed, "right. I see. So I'm the bad guy here, huh? The stupid, idiotic, meat-head player is going to look _me _in the eye, the girl he's fucked with for _months _now, the girl who's head he's spun around, the girl he's used countless times, and tell _me _that _I'm _the asshole."

"No, you're right," I said, my heart beating hard inside my chest. "I'm an asshole too. My instincts told me not to date you again, and I didn't, and I'm fucking glad I didn't take that step with you, Heather. You weren't worth my time. You were just another woman who proved to me that most women _aren't _worth my time."

"Well," she said, picking up her purse and pulling the glasses off her head. "I'm glad I at least taught you something. Grow up, Emmett. Nothing in this world is free, including people. You can't take what you want, just keep taking and taking and taking with nothing in return!"

"I'm sorry, this is news to me," I replied sarcastically. "I can't believe I wasted so much time on you."

"Yeah, well I guess you did."

"Tell your Emmett-clone I said _'hi'_."

"Oh, I will, right after he fucks me better than you ever could, you limp dick mother fucker."

"Yep," I nodded, shaking my head. "And you tell me _I _need to grow up? Look in a mirror."

"Don't worry," she said, storming out of my room, not even bothering to glance at Alice as she passed by her. "Steven has plenty of mirrors around his bed. I'll see one eventually."

"Have fun with that."

She slammed my door, knocking a picture frame off of my wall.

I stared at it, the broken pieces, and sighed heavily.

"Well," Alice said, after a few moments of silence, "...that went... well."

I scoffed and shook my head. "Yeah. Real well."

"You okay?"

"Mmhmm."

"Sure?"

"Mmhmm."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Okay... I'll sweep up the mess and leave you alone for a minute."

She spun around and grabbed the broom from the closet, before heading toward the door and broken glass.

I stepped forward and intercepted her, pulling her to me.

I wasn't sure why, but I just needed someone to be there. Regardless of whether or not I deserved it.

She dropped the broom, the sound echoing from my hardwood floors to the walls, and stood on her tip-toes, squeezing me as tight as possible.

I hugged her back with all the strength I could manage without breaking her. I absorbed the smell of her, lilac and calla lilies.

My mind was stuck on one irony. _It was really sad that a woman this small with issues of her own was the only person in this entire world that could make a big man like myself feel safe._

...It really is a mad world after all.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I rubbed the back of Rosalie's hand with my thumb, and smiled over at Bella, who had her head on Edward's shoulder.

We decided to eat lunch at a little country cafe near their new house called _'Moonlight'_. It was quite new, and nice, reminded me of where I grew up in Forks.

It was a pretty quiet event, despite our reasons for being here. They couldn't seem to take their hands off of each other, but it wasn't in any type of disgusting, mushy way.

Instead, it was more of a need for each other. I noticed a brown bruise beneath Edward's eye, one on his jaw, and a slight cut on his lip. I had no idea how that happened, since he was fine last night... All I knew was Bella stormed out of the house after her baby shower, and then she was texting me, asking that me, Rose, and Esme be gone by the time they got back to the house.

There were no marks on her face, but there was a faint bruise on the few of the knuckles on her right hand. But by the way they were acting, I knew there wasn't a reason to think they'd fought each other.

Edward wasn't the same guy anymore, and neither was I. It wouldn't be fair to presume that.

"So," Rosalie said as she pushed away her bowl of soup, "are you two going to spill what the hell happened, or am I going to have to beat the hell out of Edward until Bella shouts it out, in order to get me to stop?"

_Well... So much for not being any of our business._

"It's nothing," they answered at the same time.

"Rough sex?" she asked, not giving up.

"No."

"House robbery?"

"No."

"Bad dreams?"

"No."

"Mortal Combat training?"

"No, Rose," Bella spat, before relaxing quickly. "It was nothing. Leave it alone."

They glared at each other, a sister rivalry.

I threw my arm around my girl and pulled her against me, whispering, "Let it be for now. We're in public."

"Well, everyone's keeping secrets from me these days," she hissed back, a taste of bitterness in her words.

Edward ran his fingers through the back of Bella's hair, then tilted her head toward him, so he could kiss her temple.

She shut her eyes and smiled, and I felt like a jackass.

I invited them here because I finally got some results regarding what she asked me to take care of a month and a half ago.

"Bella," I cleared my throat, leaning forward, placing my elbows on the table, "we need to talk."

"Okay..."

"Remember what you asked me to do for you?"

"Oh yeah, another secret," Rosalie scoffed, but we ignored her.

Bella nodded, then leaned back against the booth. "Don't worry about it, Jake. It was a lost cause."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... nothing has happened since the supermarket incident with Jane, and I shouldn't have panicked anyone. I was stupid."

"No, Bella, you're not. And I found some things out, finally."

She shook her head quickly, swallowing hard, rubbing her stomach. "I don't want to know. I don't need to know."

"Yeah, I think you do."

"No, it's really okay. I'm better off not knowing."

I inhaled slowly, so I wouldn't get upset with her. She was so pig-headed, and I knew why she was being that way, but she needed to know.

"Bella," I stated again, "I need to talk with you outside for a minute. Alone."

"What's this about?" Edward said, trying to remain cool. But I could tell I was testing his patience.

Bella patted him on the leg and kissed his cheek, before sliding out of the booth, pregnant stance and all.

"Bella?" he asked cautiously, his eyes going from her to me at a rapid pace.

"It's okay, Edward," she said, smiling at him tentatively, "we'll be right back."

"...Okay," he replied, still uneasy. "I'll be right here."

She nodded, then curled her arm around mine, and we walked out of the cafe.

As soon as we were around the corner, she leaned against a moss covered tree, and crossed her arms protectively over herself, "What is it?"

I stuck my hands in my pockets, "Well... My dad was an ass. He wouldn't help me. I tried to get him to for two weeks, but it was no use. So I called up an old friend of Charlie's, Darleene Meade, I don't know if you remember her or not... But she agreed to help me, asked if I could give her a week or two."

"...Okay."

"Bella... James is in jail."

Her lashes fluttered, and she stepped forward, looking quite shocked. "What do you mean?"

I nodded slowly. "He's waiting for a trial. His last victim was a thirteen year old girl, in the end of January... I'm assuming right after he got back to Seattle. She put up a good fight and got away, reported him immediately. One thing led to another, and they booked him. News got out, and more girls stepped forward..."

"...Wow..."

"But... listen, Darleene is a detective now. She's got a list of names. I'm not sure how or why, but... your name is on that list, Bella. The only way she gave me the information, was if I agreed to give her _your _information. She wants to talk to you. She... wants you to testify."

She shook her head quickly, backing away, "No, no, I can't do that. I c-can't do that."

"Bella... You're okay."

"No, no. I can't... Jake, really. I can't see him."

"You don't have to see him... We can arrange for you to video tape your story, in a separate room. You don't have to be inside the court room with him-"

"No, Jake! I can't!"

"You have to. You need to do this, Bella. You have to put him away."

She gasped and shook her head, holding onto her collar bone.

"Bella, listen to me. I know you're scared. But you've got a whole team of supporters, you have me and Edward. He won't touch you. He won't come close to touching you. I promise."

"No."

"There's a list of girls. A fucking list of attacks, Bella. There's going to be a whole group of them who have your back, just as we do. You can do this."

"No."

"Listen to me, Darleene Meade is on her way to Seattle today. She's going to talk with you. You have to confront James, Bella. You're strong, I know you can handle it. You need to look him in the eye and tell him that he-"

"Jake," she whimpered, shaking her head. "...S-Stop."

"Bella, _please._"

She shook her head, and then I noticed someone move around me, and then Bella was in Edward's arms.

"Jake, what the hell is going on? Why is she upset?"

I quickly summed up everything for him, from her explaining to me the James details I didn't know, to her asking me to locate James, everything.

By the end of it, her face was in his chest, and his hands were cradling the back of her head. "All right, Jacob. I'm taking her home."

"She'll be there when you get back. That's why I brought you guys here, to tell you. To warn you. I had no choice, she wouldn't give me the information unless I told her where she was!"

"I'm getting her out of here, and I am taking her home. _Now_."

"Edward, man, I didn't mean to make you angry, all right? I knew Bella was going to be upset, but she needs to do this!"

"Jake!" He shouted sternly, pulling Bella toward the car, "Enough. Let me talk this over with my wife in private."

"She'll be there."

"I heard you the first time."

He closed Bella's door and climbed in the car, not saying another word before speeding off toward the end of the road.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Bella was shaking in the seat, her arms wrapped around her stomach, her eyes closed against the window.

It tore me in two.

I felt like we were never getting a break.

Like we were in some type of soap opera, a movie, a never ending loop.

Life really had a way of fucking with us. It was sweet, and wonderful, but when it turned ugly, it always seemed to catch us by surprise.

We should be prepared by now, but we weren't.

We kept hoping it would all get better.

...I still had that hope.

"Bella," I whispered, rubbing the back of her neck as I pulled over on the side of the road, "baby..."

She kept her eyes closed, allowing the warmth of my hand to soothe her, to remind her that she was safe.

Always safe with me.

She ran her fingers through her hair, sniffling, no tears falling. "I'm sorry."

"What have you to be sorry for?"

"I'm... sorry that I'm weak... T-That I am a coward."

"No," I leaned over the console, and turned her face toward me, keeping my voice calm and soothing. "Look at me."

She shook her head, her lips in a tight line.

"Okay, you don't have to open your eyes. But I need you listen to me... You are not a coward. You are not weak. These things that happened to you, anyone who's human would have a hard time dealing with. It's not something you can accept, Bella, because it is _unacceptable_. Okay? What he did to you, to those women, was wrong, and it will never be excused. James didn't make you weak, Angel. He made you smart. You know where you are safe, and when you are not."

She sniffled, clutching the front of my shirt in her hands. "I only feel safe with you, Edward."

"And I'll be right here with you, no matter what. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'll stand by you."

She nodded, the desperation sounding in her gasps.

I sighed, massaging her jaw line. "Open you eyes for a moment."

Taking a few deep breaths, she did as I asked, blinking and focusing in on my eyes.

"You are the strongest person I've ever known; man or woman. You have much more courage, more than you even know. Despite the fact that you claim to feel only safe with me, I know that isn't exactly true. You are strong enough to stand on your own two feet, Isabella. I've seen you do it. I've heard countless examples of it. Think of your swan tattoo, the importance of it. What it represents... I know you've overcome things that, if our roles were reversed, even _I _wouldn't have been able to survive. Trust me when I tell you this, because I speak it straight from my heart: You are powerful enough to face him. You are powerful enough to end this chapter of your life."

"You don't understand," she said, shaking her head, her fingers clutching my wrists while my hands continued to hold her beautiful face up. "Every time I think of him... Every time I hear his name, I'm right back there again. In that bedroom, on the floor in the bathroom afterward... Laying there broken... It never ends. I feel the pain, hear his stupid voice and his breathing in my ear, feel his fingers run across the inside of my legs... I'm there, re-living it, over and over, until I'm so weak that I cannot even muster enough brain power to think about it any longer."

My entire body felt like it was twisting inside. But I knew there was nothing I could do, not this time. And it sucked.

"...All the more reason to do this, Bella."

"I don't want to testify. I don't want to have our names in the paper, I don't want Masen being born during a time where a media circus lives outside our front gates. I just want to forget, to move on. To live with you and be happy."

"I know you do, but Bella, you're never going to get better unless you confront him. I don't mean to pressure you and I know this a choice you have to make for yourself. But believe me when I tell you that it can only get better once you do it. You'll never be able to shut the door, you'll never be able to stop hearing him inside of your head, breaking you down, unless you look him in the face and tell him that he did _not _weaken you."

She closed her eyes and exhaled tentatively, pressing her forehead to mine.

Cars passed by on the highway, occasionally shaking the car from the force and pressure.

I massaged her back and let her rest against me for as long as she needed.

"I just want us to grow up," she whispered. "That's it. Just grow up, raise Masen, and be happy."

"We will," I reassured her. "We will."

"I wish that... I could snap my fingers, rewind time, do this all over again... Be back in school, see you in that hallway for the very first time... or even in that first biology class, and rewrite _everything_..."

"We can't, Bella. I wish we could too, but we can't. All that matters is that we're together now."

"I just... I don't want you to let me go right now. I know we're on the side of the road, but... can we just stay here for a minute, please?"

"We can stay here for as long as you need us to."

She nodded, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand, before placing her forehead to mine again.

I massaged her face with my thumbs, breathed her in at the same time she did me. We kept ourselves even, inhaling slowly. Equal, at all times.

Further proof that she was my mirrored image.

I wished we were at home and near my piano. I would have given anything to play for her.

...But since we weren't, and she needed us to be here, now, on the side of the road, humming was my next option.

Kissing her lips gently, then each of her eyelids, I started to hum _'Time Forgets', _one of my favorite _Yiruma _songs.

I loved everything about it, how fitting it was for her and James... Her and me.

How slow it was, how hauntingly beautiful... how much it moved me when I heard it …played it.

It tugged at the heartstrings in all the best ways.

Bella took a large breath and smiled as I continued, not moving my face from hers.

She started to kiss my lips slowly, my chin, my cheeks, the sides of my hand.

Still, I didn't stop.

She sniffled, a tear falling between us, from her cheek and onto mine, sliding down my face and onto my mouth.

I pulled my lips together and closed my eyes, tasting her sorrow on my tongue.

Her pain was truly my own.

And I would do whatever it took to help her move on.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

When we pulled toward our gate, we noticed a black Mercedes waiting by the security tower.

Of course they wouldn't let her in. They didn't know her, and we didn't clear her to enter.

Bella recognized her immediately, and nodded in silence, approving that she come in after us.

We were silent, driving the three miles down the lane, and pulling up to our house.

"Bella," I whispered, kissing the back of her hand, "are you all right, love?"

"Yes." I could tell instantly that her voice was stronger.

I walked around the car and opened her door for her, leading her across the stone walk and bridge, toward the door.

We greeted Darleene Meade, who was tall, with shoulder-length red hair and kind eyes.

"Isabella, it's been a long time."

"Bella, please," she politely corrected her, shaking her hand, "and it certainly has. Last time, I believe I was fourteen."

"Yes you were... And look at you now."

She smiled, rubbing her stomach, "Would you like to come in?"

"Certainly."

I allowed them to enter first, and quickly grabbed the dogs, letting them run around out back.

After making her a cup of coffee, we settled into the living room, staring out the tall windows, toward the pool.

It was a comfortable silence, not daunting.

She explained to us everything we all ready knew, sparing us any gory details.

Apparently, James had told Rachel, the young girl, the last victim, during his assault, that he had done this to countless women, and she wasn't going to get away. He named a few of them off, one of them being 'Isabella Swan'. That he said my wife's name in that context, in that moment, made me long for a private garage in Colorado and 5 more minutes alone with that bastard. He also mentioned to Rachel that a man recently told him that he couldn't treat girls like that, but... He was God, and he'd do and say as he pleased...My teeth ground together as I realized that it had been for nothing. _Maybe I shouldn't have altered my aim with the baseball bat. _Bella's hand in mine grounded me, brought me back to the crucial present.

Thankfully, she got away before it got as bad as it did with Bella, and she reported him. She remembered everything from the attack, including the three girl's names.

That's why Darleene was here today.

She went on to explain why the trial was suspended, due to the new information that had been unearthed. He said every voice heard would be another nail in James' coffin, and how important it'd be for her to speak up and defend herself. She mentioned what Jake said earlier, about having the opportunity to video tape her story so she wouldn't have to face him.

She spoke, and spoke, and spoke, keeping herself calm and polite, for what seemed like hours.

I kept my arm around Bella, rubbing her skin, reassuring her that I was right there with her.

It was a strange moment for me, because it was one thing to hear it from her and live through that, but it was a wholly other to hear another person speaking about multiple charges of rape, battery, and assault...someone outside the situation. So I could not imagine how difficult it was for Bella to be here right now.

Surprisingly though, she didn't cry once. She was the strong woman that I knew she'd be when it came down to it.

She was everything she was once unsure she was.

She was proving it to herself. The evolving swan, in flesh and bones. My beautiful swan.

She smiled and squeezed my hand, letting me know that she was okay.

I kissed her cheek and nodded to Darleene as she wrapped up her declaration by asking her what she was going to do.

Bella sat in silence for a long time.

Neither of us spoke to her, or pressured her in any way.

We remained silent, and let her go through her options in her head.

For as long as it took.

I kissed the side of her face again, because I just loved her so fucking much, and she leaned into me, humming.

I smiled against her sweet skin, then we turned our attention back to the detective.

Darleene lifted her eyebrow, elbows on her knees, rubbing her hands together.

She nodded slowly, forcing a beautiful smile.

"Well?" she asked gently, tentatively.

"I'll do it."

"Really?" she said in surprise. "Oh, Bella, that's great, this case is so-"

"No," Bella said quickly, shaking her head and raising her hands to stop her from speaking. "I'm sorry, you've misunderstood me. I am not going to be a part of this trial."

"But... I thought you-"

"I'm going to confront him."

I turned my attention to her, not sure what to say. I wasn't expecting that... I was leaning more toward the video-taped testimony.

"I-I'm sorry," Darleene stammered, rubbing her forehead. "Please explain."

"Surely. I... am about to give birth to my son in less than eight weeks. The trial doesn't start for nine, correct?"

"Yes."

She amazed me, how strong she was.

"I'll be a silent anonymous witness, if you need me to be. But my name does not go in the papers. I do not want a media circus at my front door. I do not want any mention of my family, of my husband, of my son, of my relationship with him, nothing. I want to move on, and my husband was right... The only way that I can do that is if I face him. So, if I agree to be anonymous, then I want you to set up a meeting with him, supervised just in case, just me and him, nine weeks from today."

I was stunned.

"Bella, baby," I rubbed her knee, turning her face to look at me. "I know you're capable of handling this, but are you sure you want to?"

She nodded, smiling genuinely this time. "I have to do this. But I don't want to do it pregnant, I don't want him getting the best of me, or seeing Masen in any way, even if he's behind glass with chains on his wrists."

I rubbed her hand, nodding. I wasn't sure what to say.

I didn't expect her to answer so quickly.

"So," she said, standing up slowly and extending her hand to Darleene. "Do we have a deal?"

She stared at Bella and smiled. "You'll agree to testify as an anonymous victim?"

"Yes."

She shook her hand. "Then we have a deal."

She smiled up at him, and for the first time in the longest time, I saw a fleck of empowerment return to her beautiful, irreplaceable, caramel eyes.

"Wonderful," she said.

...All I could do was be amazed, and helplessly fall further in love with her.

Willingly, of course.

**

* * *

**

_**The Next Week  
Baby Masen: 33 weeks long. (8 months, 1 Week+)**_

**

* * *

**

**BellaPOV**

I giggled, spinning around in the chair. "Edward... are you sure you want to do this?"

"Are you sure you're going to _let _me do this?"

"Of course," I nodded, "if it's what you want."

"It is," he grinned, showing me the most perfect set of blazing white teeth ever given to a human.

I rubbed my stomach, and bent toward it, shaking my head. Edward's ability to dazzle me had only increased. "Masen... do you see what your daddy is about to do? He's crazy."

Masen was being active again, moving around against my ribs.

I felt him twitch and smiled. "Masen agrees with me, Edward. He thinks you're nuts."

"He's going to love it."

"It's... going to be painful."

"Nah," he shrugged, as the guy moved toward him.

I watched as Edward pulled his grey t-shirt over the top of his head and balled it up in his fist, keeping his arms up, his biceps showing luciously.

...From his arms, to his abs, to that 'V', to the treasure trail, to his Calvin Klein briefs peaking above his jeans...

I felt myself getting really hot suddenly, despite that a small fan that was blowing in my direction.

I blew my hair out of my face, gripping the stool beneath me with my fingernails, so I wouldn't charge forward and attack my husband, possibly killing the innocent man standing between us in the process.

"Okay," the man said, wiping something on his skin, "first I'm going to apply the stencil, and if you like it, we'll make it stick."

Edward nodded, grinning wildly as the man applied the thin white piece of paper down the left side of his rib cage. It extended from his lower hip, where that yummy 'V' starts, all the way up, almost reaching his arm pit.

When he removed the backing and Edward stood in front of the mirror, that hotness that I felt became a raging fire.

I swallowed dryly, amazed at the God-like creature that I was blessed to call my husband.

Thanks to Emmett's artistic skills and Edward's vision, our son's name, _'MASEN', _was surroundedwith a tribal arched design connecting the 3-D letters, decorated in different shades of black and grey. Some of the edges of the tribal arch were designed to look like the ends of a wing, and some to look sharp like knife blades... It stretched across my husbands beautiful body, a permanent totem of my husband's commitment to his son for all to see. I couldn't wait to see it when it was finished, with all the extra added detail that was going to be put in it.

Seeing it there, even though it wasn't permanent yet... it did things to me that shouldn't be allowed in public.

Hell, it shouldn't be allowed, period.

But man, oh man, was I enjoying it.

Edward turned and looked at me, the design bouncing back and forth in the mirror on his skin, and lifted a sexy eyebrow.

"Yes." I said hoarsely, before I cleared my throat. My heart beat was rising fast. "Get that. Definitely."

"Yeah?" he asked, excitedly.

"Oh yeah..." I was all ready imagining all the times I could trace the whole thing with my tongue.

He smirked and gave the man a nod. I watched as they got everything set up, him laying on his side with his arms over and under his head, his jeans pushed so low that it should be illegal, as the pierced tattoo artist prepared everything.

Once they got started, Edward took it like a champ, only flinching mildly when the vibrating needle hit certain parts of his rib cage.

"Edward," I sighed, resting my elbow on my knee and my face in my hand, "...you're going to be one hot D.I.L.F. Seriously."

He smirked, chewing his gum, "How can I be a D.I.L.F. if you get to have me? I'd be more like a ... uh... D.Y.G.T.F."

"What is that?" I giggled, as the man doing the art grinned and shook his head.

"A _dad you GET to fuck_."

"Ohhhh," I blushed bashfully, hating it just as much as I did when I was fifteen. "I see."

Since Edward's pain tolerance was excellent, they were able to get it done in one sitting, though it took a few hours to get the detail put into it. Edward was very specific on the final piece, and the man seemed to have a high respect for his wishes, doing exactly as he asked until it was perfect.

When it was all finished and Edward finally stopped gushing over his reflection in the mirror, we got it bandaged up, listened to the care instructions, and paid and tipped the man well for his hard work on short notice.

We talked about it the entire trip home, as we held hands over the middle console and I sipped on a Strawberry-Chocolate swirl milkshake.

"So," I said teasingly, kissing down his jaw line, "are you planning on getting any more now? Because everyone says tattoos are addicting..."

"Maybe... I think I'll limit myself to one or two more. Nothing this big though..."

"What are you planning on getting?"

"Well... maybe something if we have another child in the future..."

"That'd be nice."

"And of course, I want to get something on me about you."

"Edward, you don't have to do that." I giggled, shaking my head. "That's permanent."

"So?"

"So it's permanent. A child's name is one thing. Anyone else's is another... You can't remove it if something goes wrong."

"Bella. You're permanent in my life/ Come on, we know this. So why would it matter if I put you somewhere to remind me of how lucky I am when I look in a mirror? All I see in my reflection is you anyway."

I blushed again, covering my face. "We'll talk about it later, okay? Once you've re-gathered your brain cells."

He smirked and nodded, adjusting the sunglasses on his face. "Have it your way."

"I always do, Edward."

"Mmhmm."

"You know it's true."

"...Mmhmm..." he said, nodding and grinning arrogantly, chewing a piece of spearmint gum. "Whatever you say, Isabella Marie..."

_Ahhh, you've got to love our pettiness._

_

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_

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 33! **

**-- Seeee? Our little characters are growing up and learning as they do. :D They're still making mistakes, but hey... at least they recognize that, instead of ignoring it.  
I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for this baby to be born, haha! What do you think?**

Three more frequently asked TEF-related questions:**  
1. I know you said that you were planning on having 35 chapters, plus a possible sneak peek into the sequel. Are you still sticking to that plan?**

**Answer: **_As of right now, all systems are go.  
_

**2. How long will the jump leap be in the sequel of TEF?  
Answer: **_How long was the jump leap in TEF from the break up to chapter 1? ;)_**  
**

**3. How long will you wait to start posting the sequel online?  
Answer: **_Right now, I'm thinking of taking a few weeks off, maybe a month, but no more than that... Hell, I may not even take that long.  
I just want to let the last chapter of TEF stick in your minds, before I go into another time leap. That way it's more real for you guys.  
(After all, isn't that what TEF is about? Being as real and raw as possible, giving the character circumstances?)_

Random question for my reviews, put your answer beneath your review:**  
**-- _Besides the Jake/Bella interactions, what would you change for any of the characters in any of the books of the Twilight Saga Series? _

Thoughts? There's still more to come, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

**Reviews are better than a strong, powerful Bella whooping some serious Tanya & James ass.**


	34. Nurturing Choices

_Special Thanks to_:  
- To **My readers **and **loyal reviewers**.... I adore you. I'm sorry I suck at responding to reviews. Thank you for sticking with me. For your support, your reviews, your pms, your encouragement, and for most importantly... your trust with these characters, whom I love just as much as you do.  
- To **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for not only giving me her wonderful advice and beta expertise, but for also helping me construct the majority of a certain lemony goodness scene given to our one and only favorite couple, and a precious mama-baby first moment scene. Well done, my dear. You've turned me into an hot oven and then later brought me to tears! Told you that you could do it. Also, for your 'behind the scenes' help, with this chapter, with helping me find character faces, and everything else you do. I heart you TTTHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS much!! (Even when you try to guilt-trip me into telling you spoilers!!)  
- To **My Twilighted**, **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members** -- Seriously, what else can I say? You all own me. I am your slave. ;) (Special shouts out to **Navarre **(Christy!) because you are one of the sweetest people ever, and I adore you so, as well as to **Rebecca's Mom** (Aura), for not only my 2nd letter and care package, but for being a sweetheart, as well as one of my besties online!)

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Nurturing Choices  
Ahhh, getting closer toward the end of the story! (Until the sequel!!)  
No chapter description needed, I'm sure. You know what's happening.  
72 Pages for you.  
(Maternity manips in profile.)  
**_  
__**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!

* * *

_**"I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow, and each road leads you where you want to go.  
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose, I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.  
And if one door opens to another door closed, I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window.  
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile...  
But more than anything, more than anything...  
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to.  
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small.  
You never need to carry more than you can hold.  
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,  
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too...  
Yeah, this... is my wish."  
~ Rascal Flatts, "My Wish"**_

* * *

_**Bella & Baby Masen: 38 weeks into term. **_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Four: Nurturing Choices**

**EdwardPOV **

I rubbed my eyes, trying my hardest to focus on the screen in front of me. It wasn't working too well. "Shit," I muttered beneath my breath, rubbing my forehead. I started searching…my pockets…the drawers around me…the cabinet behind me…

"What are you looking for?"

I twisted in my seat to find Aimee leaning over my file of paperwork, with a pen in her mouth. All the nurses seemed to have a chewing fetish with those pens. It made me want to commit murder, but... she seemed to have a lot more of them. I looked down quickly, blowing out a gust of breath. "My glasses. I can't focus."

"Hmmm." She rose and bounced around me, before pulling a black glasses case out of the third drawer to my right. "These?"

"Yes," she handed them to me and I smiled gratefully at her. "Thank you, I couldn't remember where I put them."

"Actually, you put them up _there_, but Anna knocked them off when she picked up the stack, and Bree almost stepped on them. So, since I recognized them as yours, I hid them in my drawer for you. It's the third one, so if you ever need to stick anything in there..."

"Thanks again," I turned back toward the monitor, and pulled another file folder.

"You look exhausted. You have dark rings beneath your eyes, like you haven't slept... The cut on your lip's almost gone though, so you don't necessarily look like you've been mugged recently."

I smirked and scratched the top of my head, entering some figures. "Yeah, is that the new rumor flying around about me?"

"Something like that."

"Great," I muttered, moving closer to the screen. My eyes were really fucking with me lately. And sleep wasn't the _only _thing I lacked. Aimee sat beside me, a whiff of her familiar citrus perfume teasing my nose. I turned my head to my right, annoyed with her, and myself, and the entire fucking planet. I was sexually frustrated, and being around any type of woman right now wasn't good for my health. Of course, I'd never fucking ever cheat on my wife, but I am a man, and you notice shit a hell of a lot more when you aren't getting any. _Period_.

"Edward," Aimee said shortly, after answering the phone. "It's Bella, line 2."

"Oh," I hopped up, smiling and snatching the ear piece off the desk to stick in my ear, "hey babe, how you feeling?"

"Edward," she huffed, and I immediately knew this conversation was heading south. "I'm tired. Your mom keeps calling here, checking on me, asking for you. My mom showed up again. Thankfully she's going grocery shopping for us, so it's quiet now. Vic called for you. I miss my job and am still upset with you for making me take these two weeks off before my due date. Most importantly, I'm hot and frustrated, my stomach hurts, and I have some tingling in my leg. It's all crampy. I keep Googling it, but according to WebMD and '_What To Expect When You're Expecting'_, it's normal."

"I'm sorry, baby," I said soothingly. "It is normal, so don't panic. I know it sucks to rest up, but really, it's the best thing for Masen right now, since we're close. You were overworking yourself, getting dehydrated, and I don't want to risk anything. I know you don't either. Masen's under enough stress."

"I know," she whined, kind of cutely, "but... when you're not here, I'm so bored. I have no one and nothing to play with, or talk to, besides Spendor, and he's moody today. I think he and Cora got into it."

"Mmmmm." I whispered, so no one around me could hear. No small feat considering there were no less than six women around the desk at the moment. "Sweetheart, you can play with anything of mine that you want to."

She giggled, then huffed, "...I just wish I wasn't so big."

"Baby, you're not big. I don't know how many times I or anybody else have to tell you. You've barely gained weight, and it's all for Masen, regardless. You know I think you're beautiful."

"You have to say that because you're my husband."

"No, I say that because it's true, and I knew it since the first day I met you."

She sighed, "...I miss you."

"I miss you too, love. It shouldn't be much longer before I get off." _Oh, how I do wish._

"Wanna do Japanese tonight?"

"We can if you want."

"I'm thinking so."

"You got it, sugar." I'd learned throughout the pregnancy that both our moods stayed fair if I played by her rules. "I love you."

"Mmm, I love you too. Hey, by the way, was that Aimee who answered?"

I swallowed, trying not to roll my eyes, "Yep."

"Have you talked to Aubrey about my request concerning her?"

"Not yet, Bella. I have a meeting with her in an hour."

"Don't forget."

I sighed heavily, making sure she knew I was annoyed about this entire thing. "Are you sure you won't reconsider? I completely understand why you want me to do this, and I have no complaints about your decision. But you have to understand that this puts me in the hot seat with Aubrey, and I can't afford to get into any more trouble-"

"Uh, no. I can't. Not about her. We talked about this, about how you'd handle it. So please don't forget."

"I won't."

"...I'm sorry."

"Me too," I replied, shaking my head. "I have to go. I'll call you later."

"'K. Still love me? "

"Of course."

"You better," she said, before disconnecting. I tossed the ear piece and stared at the screen, shaking my head. Shit just couldn't go smooth for me, no matter how much toilet paper I used. It was never my luck.

Bree leaned over me to grab a stack of papers and it took everything I had to not growl at her. I hated working with a room full of women more these past few weeks than ever before. I was quickly debating whether or not to change my career to something more disgusting. Something that did not involve working almost exclusively with women... like janitorial services. Or plumbing. Or a gay porn stand-in. _Okay, scratch that last one, but still. My point has been made._

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"What you need to do is," Victor explained to me on my cell while I stood in the smoke shack on my break, "...rub up sweet to her. Massage her feet, get in good and deep... Make her comfortable."

"I try!" I insisted, rubbing my hair. "Trust me, I try to tell her how much she means to me, try to rub on her and caress-"

"No, jackass," he scoffed over the phone. "You're massaging her in hopes of getting laid, and she probably knows, which makes her more irritated with you, and frustrated that she can't do the gymnastic moves you probably had her doing all over the bed before she picked up the basketball baby belly. You've got to love on her, let her know that sex doesn't matter the _most _to you. Let her know how beautiful you think she is, that you're so happy to be with her..."

I growled, looking up at the darkening sky, feeling the cool breeze hit me. "I tell her all the time. It's like a redundant conversation... Us telling each other how happy we are to be back together, to be married, promising we won't screw this up, blah blah blah. I mean it when I say it, but... I just want to live in the moment, without having a dramatic repeat every other night."

"Well, first of all, stop doing stupid idiotic things that have to make you have those reassuring, '_I won't fuck up again, Bella' _conversations. And secondly, wake the hell up! You've got two weeks until that baby is due. TWO WEEKS. That's enough to scare the piss out of her, Edward. You, better than any other husband, should understand this, _Doctor Cullen. _This is her first baby. Throw in the mix her taking time off of work, adjustments with the new house, not to mention a horny husband, and what do you have? A shitty fucking pregnant day."

"I know all this already and I'm not _on _her all the time," I corrected him. "I swear, I'm good. I do everything I can for her. I haven't pushed it on her, haven't even brought it up in weeks."

"That could be bothering her too. You _not_ asking for it."

"I know she'll deny me. I don't want to make her feel bad."

"I know. But you may be making her feel bad by _not _bringing it up. She might feel like you don't want her."

"Trust me, Vic. I want her. She's all I think about. I can practically smell her delicious sex from the bed when I get up in the morning, and it takes everything I have to not attack her like I'm at an enormous buffet after a two-month hunger strike." Victor let out a boisterous laugh, full of arrogance, and I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, see? You're not so sensitive yourself."

"No, no, I'm sensitive to _her _feelings, not yours. You gotta handle it, kid. It's part of life. We all had to do it at one point. That's why it pisses me off when women say that we don't have to deal with things, only them. We don't get laid for nine, sometimes ten months. That's a damn catastrophe in itself."

I nodded, inhaling slowly through my nose. "I love her being pregnant. Believe me, I think she's beautiful and I enjoy it, but... I'm ready for Masen to be out and for it to be eight weeks past already. I want her back to feeling good about herself... And, it's not just about the sex either. Though, don't get me wrong. I miss fucking my wife." That I stated as unequivocal fact. "But, with Bella and I, there's always been more. It's just a part of us, how we communicate, and I miss that, too. I swear to God, Vic, with Christ as my witness, I will make it so she cannot walk for a week. And there isn't a person out there that could blame me."

"Maybe you should use some of our doctor voodoo, tell her that sex may induce her labor. It could work. Semen has prostaglandins, which stimulates contractions. If she's that eager enough to have this baby..."

"Oh yeah. That'd sound really fucking smooth. _'Hey baby, listen, I know you're feeling insecure with yourself and panicked about the delivery, but I just wanted to tell you that I think about going down on you on an hourly basis, and cannot stop thinking about tasting you on my tongue and swirling that shit around. And besides, it may induce your labor if you let me stick other things inside there while I'm at it. What do you say_?' ...Yeah. That'd get her engine going."

"You never know."

"I gotta go _Grandfather_," I sighed, hanging up as he laughed on the other end. What an ass.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Hey, Doctor Cullen, come in and take a seat."

I nodded and sat, relieved that she actually gave me permission this time. I hadn't had permission in weeks.

Aubrey shrugged off her doctor's jacket, smiled and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the desk, her hands folded. "What can I do for you?"

"Um, well," I cleared my throat, trying not to notice anything but her eyes, and not that tanktop or the way things got pushed together. "My wife and I have a few concerns about... the delivery coming up."

"Mmm, I'm all ears."

"Um... well, I guess I'll start with my own. Permission to speak freely, off the clock?

"Granted," she smiled. She was in a good mood. It weirded me out a bit.

"Well... Lately, I have been having a lot of messed up dreams, about... that day that you and I lost those two patients. I keep seeing it, over and over, and... it concerns me. I haven't discussed this with Bella or anything. I'm sure it's only my worries. But, I cannot seem to shake this fear that something may go wrong during the delivery."

"Well," she leaned back, crossing her arms, "that's understandable. You've been through a tragic ordeal, something you feel somewhat responsible for, though you know deep down you shouldn't. On top of that, I understand that this pregnancy has been anything but rainbows and butterflies. There isn't a wonder why your dreams are steering this way, so close to the due date. Bella's reached thirty-seven weeks, so she's considered full term, meaning your nerves and anticipation are high as it is, as an expectant father-to-be. Your defenses are bound to go up because you've been through a lot, so this is your brain's way of preparing yourself for failure."

I nodded, frowning.

"I give you my word that she is under my complete watch, with my full attention. And nothing is going to happen to her or your baby, Edward. She's young and healthy. And, while there's been some stress during the pregnancy, everything has progressed pretty much right on target. I understand your fears. But you need to keep them in check, for her sake"

Shaking my head, I stared off at the corner of her desk, my knees bouncing. "It's more than that though. I... can't handle her in pain. I've never been able to deal well with the idea of her hurting. I'm going to try my hardest to not freak out. But... I have a feeling that things might be hard for me, to see her and know I cannot do anything to help her."

"There's plenty you can do. As her labor coach, as her husband... reassurance and dedication to her and this baby will be enough. Just comfort her and do not take offense to anything she says to you…or throws at you," she smirked, "and you'll be okay."

"It's scary... I don't like the idea of things being out of my hands. I think I'd feel better if I could dress in and jump in if I have to."

"You know the situation-"

"I know, I know. I'm on probation, no patients... But with all due respect Aubrey, I _have _to know that I have a part in doing whatever it takes to keep my wife and baby safe and healthy. I'm not asking to deliver him, or for you to let me take over. All I'm requesting is that you allow me the chance to wear my scrubs and be there... just in case anyone needs me to be."

She pursed her lips, studying my expression quietly. I smiled wearily at her. "Okay... I'll think about it. But only if everything _here _stays steady in the mean time."

"You have my word," I guaranteed.

"Okay. Tell me the other problem."

I closed my eyes, wishing I had dealt with this first. I still couldn't believe Bella was asking me to do this at this point. I mean, I _understood _it, but I couldn't believe it. Looking at her nervously, I tried to figure out what to say, "Um... Bella has requested that Aimee Denson not be in the delivery room. She wants her off our case, and would like Bree or Anna to be our new attending nurse instead."

"Well... comfort of patient always comes first. May I ask why?"

I shut my eyes, not knowing how to answer that. I had to save my ass here. If I told her that my wife didn't want Aimee in the room because I fucked the girl countless times, and that made her extremely jealous and paranoid, that wouldn't go well for me or Aimee, work-wise. I was responsible for Aimee. Regardless if Aimee was a willing participant in our trysts, I was still her superior, and I knew the rules. I was held to a higher standard and I disobeyed them, purposely, for a muse. She was still my friend, my co-worker, and I had to protect our positions here. I know for a fact she worked too hard to be where she is for me screw that up, too.

If I told her anything negative about Aimee as a nurse, then I'd be lying. That would get her in trouble, and she didn't deserve that. She was great on this case, always did well with Bella, with the exception of the small incident where Bella almost took my head off a couple of weeks after she pointed out that Aimee didn't acknowledge her before one of our doctor's appointments. As if that meant the whole damn sky was falling down or something.

"Edward?"

"Um," I inhaled, opening my eyes slowly, "she... hasn't necessarily explained it to me."

Aubrey studied my eyes, not looking the slightest bit convinced. I couldn't lie for shit anymore. "What aren't you telling me? Has Miss Denson acted unprofessionally toward Bella? Is this a cause for reprimand on her part?"

"No," I whispered, clearing my throat. "Miss Denson has been professional. Bella is sort of... _insecure_... when it comes to Aimee."

"Why is that?"

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on her desk. "I guess... she maybe sees Aimee as a petite... pretty... innocent-looking young woman, and she makes her nervous? Pregnant insecurities, perhaps? That's what she's mentioned to me." _God, you are a shitty liar. Never make it a hobby._

"...Hmm," she answered, almost making me wince. "Well, Bella is first priority, so we cannot make her uncomfortable in any way. Of course that is a simple wish to fulfill. My only concern is what you're _not _telling me."

I nodded, looking at her eyes. She studied mine quizzically, as if trying to pry the answer from behind them. There was no way I was going to tell her about my history with Aimee. That'd cause problems for both of us, ones that neither of us needed, or deserved, if I was being quite honest with myself. My relationship with Aimee happened before Bella and I reunited, and being merely friends with the girl shouldn't be considered a crime. _...I should make Bella switch partners and boot Ryan out for this_, the angry side of me thought. I quickly brushed it away because it wasn't fair to cast blame upon her and _jackass _just because I was caught up in my own shit and she sailed away from hers at work.

"Okay... Aimee is off your rotation. I'll note it in the file and speak with her about it later. Anything else?"

I swallowed hard and shook my head, my stomach turning in knots. Fuck. What would Aimee say to her if she started grilling her like she was trying to grill me? Would she cave and spill? I don't know how she handles pressure. "Um... May I have a chance to speak with Miss Denson beforehand?" I asked. "Just to make certain there are no hard feelings, since I am her mentor. I wouldn't want awkward tension between us in the work place."

"You're not her mentor at the moment, so that won't be necessary. Any other questions?"

I shook my head.

"Okay," she smiled, giving me a kind nod. "You're dismissed."

I thanked her and left the office, half tempted to dart over to Aimee and forewarn her. I was going to page-code her like we used to, but I noticed her pager sitting on her jacket in the seat, and she was nowhere to be found. I prayed I wasn't fucked worse with my job.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"Hey Baby!" Edward shouted, scooping up Spendor and Cora as they greeted him at the door. "I'm home."

"Hey..." I didn't bother waddling over to him, knowing he'd come over to me on the couch anyway. Masen's head seemed to be more toward my pelvis these days, easing the chest pains and heart burn slightly, but a lot more difficult to walk like a normal human being.

He skidded to a stop behind our fluffy, oversized cream white couches, and kissed my forehead a few times, "Mmmm, you look beautiful. I missed you."

"Back at you. How was work?"

"Ugh, exhausting. I'm glad to be home." I watched as he walked to the sliding doors and let the dogs out, "Has Tommy called back yet?"

I nodded.

Tom Lincoln had been the head of security at_ The Escala, _assigned the top five floors, which were the highest profile residents. He'd been a police officer for twenty years, but decided to retire to work private security instead. It meant better pay, and less crucial surroundings. Edward had grown quite attached to him through the years, and I quickly fell for his charm the very first day I met him. Even though he was only forty-seven years old, he was by far the sweetest, most generous man I'd ever met, aside from Edward himself. Edward jokingly called him '_Tommy'_, rather than "_Tom_'. But I quickly nicknamed him _'Pops'_.

When we'd arranged to move here, Victor decided he wanted to hire new security for us, especially with Jane seeing me in town that day. He had asked Tommy to be the lead man. Three of our nine acres of land was reserved for the Caretaker house, so there was plenty of room for him to live independently but still be available to us completely. He would be staying there with his daughter, Vanessa. We'd grown attached to his daughter as well. They were welcome to visit at anytime. We trusted him with our lives. After all, that would be his job. We were thankful when he decided to accept our offer and stay with us. I couldn't imagine anyone else holding that position. I wouldn't feel as safe without him.

"Yes. He officially started working for us tonight. He's moving in as we speak, and he'll be at the main gate in an hour. He left the number to his new cell, as well as the house line. I put it on the fridge."

"Excellent!" Edward said, dropping down at the end of the couch and putting my feet in his lap. "Tell me how my wife is doing."

I tried not to frown, "...She's fine. Feeling kind of weird... and hungry. Wishes the phone would stop ringing. Watching _'The Nanny' _re-runs, until _'Bringing Home Baby' _comes back on in an hour."

Edward rolled his eyes and let his head fall back, smiling up at our vaulted ceilings. "You and that damn baby show."

"It's teaching me things."

"Mmhmm," he lifted my right foot and kissed the side of it. "I can teach you anything you need to know."

"Edward, despite your arrogance, you're going to be new at this too, and you won't have it all figured out."

He started to kiss up toward my ankle, smirking at me. "We can... learn together."

I smiled and tilted my head, loving how his warm lips made me feel, "...Okay..."

"...And you have Colleen and our moms... We'll be fine."

"We'll see," I sighed, shrugging my shoulders. "Can't really worry too much. He's coming whether we're ready or not."

Edward lowered my foot and readjusted so he was crawling above my legs, like a mountain lion cornering its' prey. He lifted my shirt and ran his nose around my belly button, "....Mmm, you smell incredible Bella... Hey baby boy... You ready to come out yet?" He kissed my stomach tenderly, his lips lingering there. Then he pulled away and sighed softly, a soft smile playing in his eyes. "Two of the most important, perfect people in my life."

I smiled, rubbing his shoulder. "Mommy's ready for him to come out, that's for sure. I'm tired of being pregnant."

"What can I do for you, baby?"

I shrugged.

"How about... I go get us the food that I ordered, pick up some dvd's... and we have a night in? Snuggle on the couch. I'll fight Spendor and Masen for your attention all night long, because we both know their attention hogs... What do you say?"

I giggled and gave him a nod. "Sounds like a plan."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

While Edward was gone, I did what I normally did. A hobby of sorts I'd picked up of late. Edward said it freaked him out a little. He explained _nesting _to me as something pregnant women do sometimes. Basically, I organize the hell out of everything, over and over. Clean the fridge. Rearrange his clothes. Clean the nursery. Make sure everything is ready for Baby Masen to come home. Considering that Edward is the anal retentive one that yells at me for dropping my clothes a foot in front of the hamper instead of actually in it, not putting water in my pans to 'let them soak', not setting the coffee machine the night before, along with an enormous list of other OCD tendencies he shows, I could understand why he was a little concerned.

But, on the upside, he has a really disgusting habit of not only putting the seat back down on the toilet, but the lid also... Now, I'm only half-way complaining about this one... because the seat down is wonderful. I've fallen in before, and it sucks. However, lid down also... very bad. Because there was a day when I was rushing around and had to pee so freakin' bad that by the time I actually got to the toilet, I was just happy I didn't pee my pants... and then I sat on the lid.

Not fun. I didn't want to give him his head back after almost biting it off.

I was seriously loving this part of marriage, the learning part. Every day, Edward and I were discovering all these hilarious things about each other. It was like starting over again, in a way. But so much better. For instance, other things we've learned we're really different about... Edward didn't know I had OCD with my desk in the office. I do. I know where every pen, every marker, every folder, every thing is. It may not always be in perfect neat stacks, but I know where I put it last. All it took was him roaming in there, looking for a piece of paper and a pen when he was on the phone, to destroy my '_way of setting things'_. Also, I've learned that Edward loves to have plastic Tupperware with matching lids. I was the kind of girl that took Saran Wrap and stuck it over a plate if I wanted to save leftovers. Oh no. Not Edward. He likes lids and labels. He's also the type of guy that iron's his shirts sometimes, if he doesn't have time to throw them in the dryer. He loves the outdoors, usually devotes Sunday's to being outside working on something in our new yard.

But there are some things that he's taught me how to do, that I never knew before, and was grateful for. Like how to separate laundry and adjust the cycles to match. His mother taught him all of that. My mother made the bed with me in it most days. He taught me how to use the riding lawn mower (which I love). He showed me how he scrambles eggs, which was quite different from the way I did it. I showed him how I made my infamous flame-throwing chili, how to fold clothes (because he only knew how to hang them, sadly), and with a lot of practice and a few destroyed bushes, we figured out together how to use a weed whacker.

He's also really handy when it comes to my car. Since my truck broke down a couple of years ago, I invested in a Hyundai Elantra, a cute little four-door car. He knows how to do just about anything on it. Rotating tires, changing oil, changing spark plugs, all that other crap that I'm sitting there staring at. I know how to put gas in it and fill the oil... that's about it. (Jake tried to teach me the other stuff once. Rosalie learned well. It went right over my head.) The best part is when Edward's all dirty, sweaty, and greasy.... Mmm...

Anyway, point is, my mother was right. Marriage is all about learning, and it never, ever stops. I wake up and enjoy wondering what it is that I'm going to learn about him today. Something to look forward to.

I sighed, looking over my '_What To Expect When You're Expecting' _book, feeling the nervous twitches in my stomach. Though Masen was still active, he wasn't kicking as much as he was just plain moving around. They said it'd happen, since he's closer to my pelvis now. My ribs hurt, because he seemed to love my right side more than my left. And the whole being on my bladder thing sucks sometimes. But I've grown used to most of it. That doesn't stop me from whining now and then, but I try not to do it with anyone around, especially Edward... though sometimes I cannot help it. I know he doesn't mind, that's what he's there for. I just hate seeming needy, so I avoid it, and keep mum most days.

I grabbed the list with a copy of my birth plan and things I needed to bring with us to the hospital on D-day, reviewing it again. My birth plan was pretty simple. I wasn't really going to go all diva on them. I did request soothing music, because it calms me down. We noticed the past couple of weeks that Masen reacts to music, flutters around. Edward was gracious enough to make me a Yiruma mix, along with some DeBussy, _Claire de Lune _being one of my favorites. He also included some of his originals. That was a must. I also planned to do some walking (if I was capable) during labor. Also, I was intent on having someone other than my husband holding a video camera, pointed AWAY from my more sensitive areas. I wanted to remember everything, but I didn't want a horror film. I'm okay with drugs, if necessary, and because I love heating pads, I'm completely down with warm compresses if they recommend it. We've discussed an agreement to do a circumcision, and we decided to do bank Masen's cord blood, as well.

I pulled out one of our bags and dug through hit... watch for contractions, my Zune for music, video camera equipment, entertainment sources (laptop, Sudoku books, journal), massage oils, back massager, pillows, candies to keep my mouth moist, toothbrush and all the essentials, socks, slippers, hair clip and brush, change of clothes for Edward, charger for cell, pj's, toiletries, maxipads (joy), panties, nursing bra's, books, snacks, list of phone numbers to call those who cannot make it, going home outfit for me and Masen, blanket, and the car seat was all ready buckled and ready to go, in both of our cars. That was the benefit of living with a doctor-in-training. He thinks of everything. Anytime our mom's would suggest something, he'd say, "_All ready got it covered_". Man, I love my husband.

Edward returned shortly with take-out from _Mashiko_. Like a good boy, he got Miso Soup for the both of us, Yakitori for me, and a combo of Spring and Crab & Tamago Rolls for him, with extra rice, and some Ginger Ice Cream for desert... He seriously knows me inside and out. I love it. I gave him a big kiss, and then we cuddled up on the couch, putting in "_Say Anything_" for us to watch. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder, while we fiddled with our chopsticks and chewed our food. Cora sat sweetly on the chair, barely looking at us, while Spendor... sat right on my left foot and stared the entire time.

"Babe, he's only doing that because you let him," Edward sighed, shaking his head.

"I don't always share my food, he just... likes my foot."

"Mmhmm. He likes your food."

"Spendor loves me!" I said, fake gasping.

"I'm just saying, you're spoiling him, and now he thinks it's okay to beg."

"But... look at his face. Come on, how can you resist him? He's just... so damn cute."

Edward turned and looked at me, pouting out his lip, "I can beg too."

"Beg for what?"

He grinned, way too devilishly for my liking.

I lightly slapped him on the back of his head.

Edward laughed, half-stunned. "Fucking Spendor gets to beg and I don't."

"You don't do it as cute as he does."

"Whatever... this just better not become a pattern...good cop, bad cop. I can see where this is going already..."

"Where is it going?"

He smirked and licked his lips, momentarily distracting me. "You're going to spoil the fuck out of Masen, while I'm going to be the bad, awful, mean 'ol daddy who doesn't let him have a cookie."

"You don't know that for sure."

"Ohhh, I'm pretty sure I do."

I rolled my eyes and stole the remote off his lap, and turned up the volume, "I'm ignoring you."

"Child."

"Ass."

"Mmhmm."

"I hate when that's your response," I scoffed. "_Mmhmm_. What is that?"

He chuckled, unable to keep up bickering with me, as he struggled to swallow his food against his amusement. "It's the response that doesn't get me slapped in the back of my head. My grandfather taught me well."

"I'm going to have to have a talk with Mr. Victor Cullen then."

"Oh trust me. I think he's crazy. You should have heard my conversation with him earlier. The man has all but lost his marbles."

"Whatever. You're just pissed because he acts just like you, only he did it first, and better."

He eyed me down for a moment, then turned back toward the television, and turned it up a few more notches. "It's my turn to tune you out now."

"See, now you're being the childish one."

"You started it."

I snorted out a laugh, not looking at him, and bent down to pet Spendor on the top of his head. Edward growled and cleared his throat, not saying anything. I bit my lip to keep from revealing my smile, because I loved pissing him off for the hell of it.

"You..." he whispered, before taking another bite and chewing, "...are so gonna get it. You've got it coming to you, Isabella. I just want to make sure you understand the consequences, before you keep up your game."

Licking my bottom lip to tease because I knew he was trying not to look at me, I shrugged my shoulders and replied, "What is it exactly that I'm... going to get?"

"A big hard one."

"Right."

"Oh, you just wait."

I laughed, trying my hardest to hold it in. "We'll see."

"There is no seeing about it."

"Whatever you say, Edward Anthony."

"It's not what I say, it's what I know."

I chewed the inside of my lip and turned to look at him, "...Are you okay?"

He shook his head and looked at me, smiling politely.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

He nodded, smiling a bit more.

"Are you going to tell me what it is?"

He shrugged his shoulders, playing coy.

"You know you're being difficult, right?"

"Yes," he replied, finally giving me that crooked grin that melts ... well just about every part of me. "But you're quite scary sometimes, and I'm not willing to sacrifice my manhood to ask for anything."

I fake pouted and leaned in, kissing his jaw. "You can tell me anything."

He studied my eyes for a moment, then relaxed his body, and kissed my cheek back. "I'm fine babe, really. I'm just playing around."

"Okay," I replied, unconvinced. There was something bothering him, and... I had a feeling I knew what it was.

* * *

**RosaliePOV**

I chewed on my thumbnail, flipping through the channels.

There wasn't jack on, as usual.

"Jake," I sighed, calling through the living room, "where are you?"

"The office, sexy."

"It's... almost nine o'clock. What are you doing?"

"Trying to... find something."

"What are you looking for?"

"Batteries."

"Uh... for what?"

"Uhhhh...."

I waited a moment, trying to figure out where I'd placed them last. Suddenly he ran in front of me, wearing dark jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair and facial scruff magnificent, as always. "This," he replied, out of breath and dangling a digital camera in front of my face.

I raised my eyebrow, because he was way too excited over something that simple. "Why?"

He grinned and snapped a picture without me expecting it. "Why the fuck do you think? I'm bored."

"So you what... want to piss off your girlfriend by snapping pictures of her wearing unmatched pajamas, with a two-liter of Pepsi in her lap?"

He licked his lips, revealing hints of the barbell. "No, actually I was thinking you should undress now."

"Uh, why?"

"Because, I'm bored, so are you, there's nothing on tv, and we're too young individuals in need of entertainment."

I studied him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was stoned. "You're confusing me."

"What's your point?"

"What's _your _point?" I countered.

He leaned forward, face smug, and almost kissed me, teasing me, making me want more. "...In a nutshell?"

"Yes," I whispered, leaning forward, but the cocksucker wouldn't let me kiss him.

He smiled. "I want you to undress, and then I plan to fuck you every way I can possibly think of... while I document it, for later."

I smirked, acting uninterested. "What makes you think you're going to get it so easily?"

"Because you love a big dick just as much as I love a sweet pussy."

I pondered for a moment, then shrugged my shoulders. "Yeah. You've got a point."

"So... what are you waiting for? Take off your fucking shirt."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Is that a command?"

He grinned and nodded slowly. "Yes," he growled, leaning forward, narrowing his eyes right back, "unless you want me to take the fucker off for you. I can't guarantee what condition it will be in though."

I scoffed, acting insulted. "Oh, so now you're making threats?" He shook his head, purposely clinking the barbell on his bottom teeth, because he knows that I love that thing more than my own life. It took everything I had not to fly off the couch and jump the asshole. "...You're not fighting fair."

"I never do." He moved forward, his hands grabbing the end of my shirt, "You doing this, or am I? Last chance."

My eyes crawled up his forearms, watching the muscles grow bigger toward his biceps, going up as the sleeves of his shirt wrapped tightly around his skin... up further, toward his broad shoulders, and that lovely Adams Apple bouncing slowly as he swallowed. "Rip it."

He did it in one second, not giving me a second to realize actual physical words had fallen out of my mouth. I gasped as the air hit my naked chest, as I wasn't wearing anything beneath the thick shirt. Jake wasted no time moving onto his knees, taking my pierced nipple in his mouth and, looking over to his right shoulder, snapping a picture.

I laughed and shook my head, closing my eyes. "You bring my inner-freak out so easily."

He smirked and released me, before smiling up into my eyes. "Please. You were a freak long before I got with you."

"Correction, I loved sex, not necessarily _kinky _sex. I didn't do half this stuff until I got with you."

He nodded with a smile, because I just watered his ego for him. "I taught you well though, wouldn't you say?"

I swallowed and shrugged my shoulders. "What are _you _going to take off?"

"Whatever you want."

"Briefs."

He laughed and shook his head. "That means I'd have to remove my shoes, socks, belt, and jeans before I got to them."

I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest. "I don't play around, Jake. I get to the goods."

He smiled sexily and started to undress. "Which is why I adore you. You don't take my shit."

"No, I do. I just know how to throw it back at you." He unfastened his belt and nodded, before dropping his pants. I snapped a picture and smirked, because damn, he was sexy. "Nice one."

Jake was quick to help me undress, snapping pictures as he went, smirking and grinning. Before we knew it, we had gotten so carried away in our 'photography' skills, we were both naked rather quickly. He turned off the television and dimmed the lights a bit, before coming and kneeling before me in front of the sofa. I bit my lip and watched as he handed me the camera, before he lifted my legs up over his shoulder. I adjusted my body and opened my legs wider for him, because I wasn't shy, and he wasn't either. We loved each other too much to play the shy game at this point. _There were far too many better games to be played_.

I steadied the camera and bit my lip, watching as he breathed hot air on my inner thighs, "You're taking too long..."

"Mmm," he said, massaging my legs, "what is it that you want...." He licked his lips and kissed mine, light as a feather, "this?"

I shook my head, snapping the picture anyway, because the sight was quite beautiful to watch. "No... I want more of your tongue."

He ran his nose across my thigh, teasing me because he was an asshole, then came back above my center, and drew out his tongue. I couldn't breathe as I watched him taste me, snapping as many pictures as I possibly could by the time he drug his tongue up toward my spot. I moaned as the tip of his tongue circled slowly, and he grinned, before dragging the barbell across the same place. "Shit, Jake," I gasped, arching my back trying to continue watching him, "mmmmmm."

He swirled his tongue around then lowered, going in and out at a slow and torturous pace. I didn't like that idea, deciding to grab onto his hair and push him closer, lifting my hips at the same time. He allowed me to move him, not shoving his head back at all, and I panted, my body beginning to vibrate. Words couldn't develop as I lolled my head back, my eyes rolling into my head. Jake had me spinning. I couldn't breathe, couldn't think. I dropped the camera, heard it clunk on the floor.

Jacob doubled his efforts, ruling my entire world, my sky, my universe... I spread my legs as far as they could go without falling off his shoulders and clenched my eyes closed, arching my back. He knew I was close. I could tell by the way he was taunting me, teasing me. I moaned, begging him for more. He obliged, sucking me hard between his lips. Gasping, my fingernails squeezing the couch cushions beneath me, and right when his tongue reentered my body, I clamped and cried out, pulsing around him as my orgasm hit.

Then I heard a click, and saw a white flash behind my closed lids. Gasping, I opened my eyes, snapping my head toward him. He was smirking as he checked out the picture. "What the f-"

"This is my new fucking desktop background. Jesus Christ... You, my sexy girl, cumming all over my tongue, those tight-ass muscles pulsing... I'm putting this on my laptop so I can look at it during work."

"I don't fucking think so!" I shouted, trying to drop my legs from his shoulders and rip the camera out of his hand at the same time.

Jake pushed my hands away and stood up quickly, holding the camera out of my reach. "Come on, I'll let you put one of my orgasms on your work screen if you want."

"I don't have a work screen!"

"When you get one," he chuckled, scooping my body up as I jumped on the cushions, trying to grab that damn evidence. He lifted me off and carried me one-armed up the flight of stairs and dropped me on the bed. "Now," he said, spreading my legs and situating himself between them, "are you ready for that other part I was telling you about earlier? Me, fucking you, every way I can?"

I nodded, closing my eyes. I'd get the damn camera after this. After all, a girl's got to have priorities.

"That's what I thought," he whispered in my ear, before shoving himself into me as hard as he could go. I bucked upward but he held me where he wanted me, biting down on my neck.

I don't know what it was about this man, but... when he did things to me, words just... couldn't be formed.

"Unnnn," I panted, throwing my legs and arms around him.

"So sweet," he whispered in my ear, his hot breath making me shiver in the sweetest way. "The way your pussy tastes... the way it feels... the way you take over my entire fucking mind by handing over your body to me."

I moaned, running my fingers through the back of his hair, arching my back so he'd have more access.

"And," he groaned, thrusting harder, "...when you come on my dick, Rosalie, I swear... there isn't anything better than that to me. Fucking _ever_."

I closed my eyes and pushed my face into the crook of his heated neck, lifting my hips to meet his erratic thrusts. I felt my second orgasm coming quick and slipped my hand between our bodies, desperate for another release. Suddenly a hand grabbed my wrist, stopping me.

He stopped moving completely.

My eyes widened as I studied his blackened eyes, his swollen bottom lip that I wanted to chew and suck on. "You won't be needing this," he said, dragging my hand up my own body and over my head, pushing it into the pillow. I nodded and swallowed hard as he placed my other hand in that one, and held both above our heads. With my body arched that way, it seemed as if every thrust he ground out hit my G-spot perfectly. I shut my eyes as the first wave started, the pulsing and knotting in my stomach returned.

"Jake," I whimpered, licking between his lips, "I love you."

He smiled adorably and slipped his tongue between mine, massaging and enveloping me in a way that made me feel like a wimpy girl... I wanted to cry, because I was happy. The thought would have made me sick two years before... crying during sex, like some cheesy _Lifetime _movie. But still, it was true.

I sealed my eyes tight and whimpered when I finally released, and each continued thrust sent me into another set of convulsions. He kept moving, not hard, but insistent, over and over, until my body was spazzing and begging for breath.

Finally, he slowed down and released my wrists, and my arms immediately wrapped around his back. We stared at each other, in complete silence, joined in more ways than I ever imagined possible.

Then, I closed my eyes and smiled, wishing I had the guts to ask him what I wanted to. He hummed, kissing along my jaw and my ear, before my lips. Then he smiled, and started moving again, slowly.

...And then my thoughts flew right out the window, because this man, in all his sexiness and confidence, knew how to overtake me so well. He fit me, he matched me. We were perfect, in every way possible. And, to be honest, it was the only way I wanted it.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I didn't know I had fallen asleep, until I noticed the television was a blank blue screen. I blinked to clear my eyes and looked around, finding Bella somewhat beneath me. We were still on the couch together, and my head had been in her lap. I yawned and stretched out my arms, before standing and stretching the rest of my body. After quickly feeding the dogs, I turned on all of the alarms in the house, and flicked off some of the lights.

"Isabella," I whispered in her ear, before kissing it gently. She smiled, still off in some fantasy world. I smirked and slipped my arms beneath her body, lifting her up slowly. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it was that she thought she was _'fat'_. The girl weighed a hundred and what, ten pounds, before she was pregnant, making her around one twenty-five now? _Please. Complete and utter nonsense. I can barely feel her in my arms. _I sighed and carried her up the steps and around the corner, toward our master suite. Spendor quickly hopped on the bed but I shooed him down, before slipping Bella's body above the covers. Then I adjusted the lights and bent over the nightstand beside her, lighting her favorite candle. The smell seemed to relax her; wild blueberry.

She smiled and slowly opened her eyes, her palm sliding down my stubble, meeting the curve of my jaw. "...Hey," she said groggily.

"Hey beautiful," I smiled, pulling off her slippers and sliding the covers down and then over her, "I didn't meant to wake you."

"It's okay, I wasn't really asleep... in and out. Feeling... silly tonight."

I nodded, making sure the pillows were how she liked them, two beneath her head, one beside her to support her belly if she lay on her side, and one between her legs.

"Edward," she whispered, as I pulled off my shirt.

"Yeah babe?"

"I was wondering, if you're not too tired... will you be with me?"

"I'm right here," I reassured her, sitting beside her on the bed and brushing my fingers through her hair. I found her eyes in the dim light and saw…worry….fear…something I couldn't put my finger on. I worried momentarily if she was having another panic attack about James. She'd only had one since we'd moved into the house. I think the safety and security of her surroundings hadn't settled in quite yet. Thankfully, all it took was my voice reminding her where she was, and the panic was quickly dismissed.

She smiled and continued rubbing me, down my arm, toward the crook of my elbow, "...naked?"

I moved my head back a bit to look at her face, making sure I was understanding her correctly, and my dick wasn't jumping to conclusions. "Naked?"

"Yes," she smiled adorably, looking so damn innocent and perfect that I could scream.

"Whatever you want," I answered simply, before standing and stripping off the rest of my clothes. I told myself calmly to not get my hopes up, maybe she just wanted to feel skin on skin while she slept. I could handle that. Ten more weeks, tops, then she would be mine again.

I slipped in behind her and pulled the covers tight, before wrapping my arm beneath and around her frame. "Better?"

She shook her head, before turning her face and pushing her mouth into her shoulder, looking behind toward me. "Not yet."

I smiled softly, loving how comfortable I was with her, how relaxed she made me. "What do you want me to do for you, sweetheart?"

"Make love to me."

I stilled for a moment, trying once again to figure out if I was really hearing what she was saying, or imagining it. My imagination tends to run wild these days. Sex was like oxygen. Without it, my brain was fucked.

Bella looked concerned, then rejected, then worried. "You don't have to, if you don't want to, I und-"

"Nooooo. No, no, no," I said gently, kissing her shoulder, "don't even think that, Bella. I just... you caught me off guard, that's all." I carefully rolled her onto her back and leaned over her, holding myself up with my left arm. "Of course I want to make love to you," I whispered, brushing her cheek with the back of my fingers, "...you're my Bella."

She bit her lip to control her smile, her caramel eyes flickering in the candlelight. "I've always been yours, Edward." I loved how gentle she sounded, how sweet we felt in this moment. This was what I loved. The spontaneity, the constant adoration. This was what always reminded me that we were right where we were always supposed to be, no matter how long it took us to get here.

I leaned down slowly and kissed her left shoulder, before dragging my lips across her collar bone, up the length of her neck, and toward her mouth. Then I said gently, "And I've always been yours."

She ran her fingers through my hair and gently pushed me forward, our mouths connecting softly. Bella hummed, her lashes fluttering, and I slowly turned my head, making our lips mold easier. Her lips were always so damned soft, so sweet tasting. It was my favorite thing to do, kissing her. Anywhere I could. She was what I loved, who I loved, all I loved.

Her lips parted tentatively, and I smiled into them, before meeting her tongue in the middle. We retracted, kissing slowly, before reconnecting our tongues. She gently pulled mine into her mouth and I massaged hers, rubbing down her arms gently at the same time. She pulled away and kissed my top lip, then my bottom lip, before whispering, "Your hands feel so good.... My body is really tense." Then she let out a nervous laugh. I moved my hands from her arms to her ribs, and felt her stiffen. "Jesus sweetheart," I said, keeping my voice just as calm and quiet as hers, "you _are _really tense..."

"I know."

I kissed her lips once, twice, three times, then pulled away and lay back on my left side. "Come on, roll back over for a second... Let's get you more relaxed."

"I will, once I'm with you."

"Shhhh," I whispered, nudging her gently and smiling as she adjusted her body back the way it was, the way I wanted her to. "You're with me Bella. I want to be with you, in every way possible... but I want you relaxed first. I know you're under a lot of stress and your nerves are high... But I want you to know, you're going to do great with this delivery. You're going to be a wonderful mother. And to me, you're all ready the perfect wife... I don't want you to have any fears, about anything, okay? Because I'm right here with you, and I'll help every step of the way. You have my word."

She smiled and nuzzled her back against me, holding my hands to her stomach as my fingers kneaded her skin slowly, "We'll make a great team, you and I."

I nodded, kissing the back of her neck, "We've come quite a long way so far."

"We have."

"It can only get better."

"I sure hope so," she exhaled, closing her eyes and relaxing as I worked her sides, stretching and relaxing those muscles. I smiled and moved away, grabbing some warming oil from my drawer. I made sure to take my time, throwing my needs into the wind, focusing on her body. I quickly realized once again, just how much hard work pregnant women do. What they were going through, how their bodies were being used, stretched out, aching, desperate for relief... I thought about the hormones and their thoughts, their fears, their concerns...

I started with her feet, using my thumbs on her sore spots, my other fingers lightly, and took my time... going up around her ankles, her calves, her shins, her knees, her thighs, her ass, her hips, her pelvis, up and around, her stomach, ribs, mid-section, breasts, arms, fingers, shoulders, collar bone, up around the back of her neck, beneath her ears, her jaw, her forehead....

I spent a good hour on her, making sure she was as relaxed as possible. By the time I began to focus on her stomach, I'd forgotten all about the sex, being so distracted with the success of creating a calm for her. It didn't take me long to realize just how much I'd do for her. It would always be about her for me. She would always be what I cared about most in the world.

I ended my trip around her body with a gentle kiss to her forehead. There was something sacred about that gesture between us, something binding that reminded us, at the end of the day, it was about what we felt together, how we were together. She opened her eyes lazily, and gazed into mine. My devotion had worked. She was completely relaxed, almost blissed out. I lay propped up on my elbow so that I could see the peace in her eyes. "I love you, my beautiful Isabella," I whispered to her.

"Show me," she said, simply. "Please Edward, show me. I need you."

Sighing, "Bella, Believe me when I tell you that I want nothing more than to bury myself inside you right now. But…" And, here I was, back there again. I was once again a fumbling eighteen-year-old teenaged prick trying desperately to be the man she thought I was. Only this time, I knew _exactly _the damage I could do, _exactly _what I risked losing. "Bella, I don't want to hurt you and I don't want you to think that fucking you is more important to me than loving you. Just tell me this is what you want, not what you think _I _want." I sighed, pressing my forehead to hers, willing her to understand my fear.

A sly smile crossed her lips, "Edward, I love you. But sometimes, you just need to shut off your brain." Her eyes were blissed out, yes. But, there was a wicked glint to them that told me all I needed to know. I groaned out loud, not even trying to hold it in. "Roll over, baby." I meant it to be soothing, but the growl in my chest was unmistakable.

Her eyes were wide, mostly with passion, "What? What do you mean?"

"I don't want to risk hurting you or Masen. Trust me. Roll over on your other side." I helped her roll to her left side, reaching around her to reposition the pillows under our son and between her knees. After making sure that she was supported, I pressed myself, including every inch of my aching hard-on, up against her back. I trailed my hand up and down her entire body from shoulder to thigh, pulling her right leg backward to allow my hand access to the place I'd been fantasizing about non-stop for the last eight weeks, or well, the last eight years, really.

I continued running my fingers from shoulder to thigh and back again, taking the occasional side trip closer and closer to her heat. While I kissed up and down her shoulder and her neck, she tilted her head as far to the side as she could, begging for the touch of my lips. While I worked to tease her, I whispered all sorts of dirty things in her ear, each one earning a gasp or a moan from my wife. Her moans combined with the friction I felt being trapped against her back was putting my control in serious jeopardy.

She pressed her ass back against me, writhing in a way that told me she needed me just as badly as I needed her. "God, touch me, Edward. Please." Her plea came out breathy and sexy as fuck, and I could no more resist her than stop breathing. My fingers went straight to her spot, and I teased and tapped it, feeling her grow wetter and wetter. I moaned in anticipation, knowing exactly how wonderful that heat would feel. Bella reached her hand around and pushed it between us, finding my dick pressed against her lower back. She wrapped her little hand around me and started to rub and twist, turning her wrist as she moved. Just the feeling of her hand on me had me ready to explode. "Jesus Fuck, Bella. What…uhhhh." Bella's fingers pinched my tip and I lost all power to think, let alone speak. "Edward, now." Her whimper went straight through my heart.

I moved down lower and felt my dick slide between her thighs, her heat guiding me home. Her hand reached between her legs and she took hold of me, pressing me to her entrance. I pulled her right leg back a little further, opening her wider to me. And then I pushed into her, feeling her entire body shudder. "Fuck, Edward…I've missed this...," she moaned, deep and low in her chest, "…this _feeling_." Her breath came in little gasps, and so did mine. Her hand stayed low, touching me where we were joined. The feeling of her fingers on my dick as I slid in and out of her made me forget to breathe. Thank fuck she was there to guide me.

"What feeling is that, love?" I growled in her ear, causing her to shiver. It was my ego that made me ask, because I knew without a shadow of doubt what she meant. Feeling my body encased in hers, buried so deep in her and wrapped around each other tight enough that there was no knowing where one ended and the other began... It was a feeling I would fucking die for, gladly. I tilted my hips and pressed higher into her, joining us even deeper, and felt her nails rake my thigh. I smirked as she dug her nails in deeper, pulling my body even closer.

She hummed encouragement, the vibrations in her chest spurring me on. Moving her hand to cover my right one, she pressed us against her heat. "More," she pleaded with a slight whimper. Our hands moved together over her sweet spot, as she flexed her hips first back into mine, and then forward into the pressure of our entwined fingers. There was something amazing about her and I working like this, encouraging her to enjoy and let go. "Fuck Bella," I gasped, as she pressed her hips back into mine again, giving me an even _deeper _angle. I drug my tongue across the salt of her skin and kissed tenderly, before whispering, "You feel so good. I missed this, missed feeling you." I inhaled sharply, trying to control my need to release. I couldn't figure out if it was because we hadn't made love in eight weeks, or if it was the simple fact that I would never get enough of her body. Each thrust sent more shivers, created more desire, connected us more deeply. Each moment sent me closer and closer to the edge I would happily throw myself over, as long as she was with me.

"Edward." She called my name, writhing against me. "_God_, I'm flying apart."

"I'm here, baby. I'm right here." Without moving my hands, I tightened my arms around her, holding her together. I pulled her body impossibly closer to mine, gripping my fingers with hers. That pushed us harder against her clit, and I felt her entire body twitch. I slid my left leg back beneath hers and moved it up, opening her more, loving how flexible she was, even at this stage. Christ, I didn't want to hurt her. The mere thought of it made my chest ache. But my body couldn't resist the irreplaceable tightness that surrounded me, reminding me that it was her who I belonged to. I pushed harder, grounding myself as deep in her as I could. Another groan escaped my lips, and I didn't try to mute it. I didn't want to. She needed to know what she did to me. "Bella," I breathed in her ear, "do you feel what you're doing? Do you feel how much I need you? Everything you are to me?" Her entire body continued to twitch, which told me her orgasm was coming fast. I moved our fingers harder, finding a steady rhythm with the thrust of my hips, moving in opposition, the sensations working to ebb where one flowed, push where the other pulled.

"Edward…_unghhhh_…." Her words were pulled from her like thoughts were no longer possible. "Things you….love you…so much…_fuck_." She reached back with her left hand, fisting her fingers in my hair, trying desperately to pull any part of me closer to her. Her right hand wrapped around my back and pressed right above my ass, holding me as tightly to her body as she could. I flattened my hand fully against her heat, using my palm to stimulate her clit while me fingers teased her slick, moist lips.

My teeth met her sensitive lobe and I gently sucked on it, tonguing the delicate skin gently. I couldn't help the groan that escaped me as I allowed my greed for her to take over. I was close, but there was no way I was going without her. Not this time. "Bella…Come with me, Bella. Fucking come, _now_." And she did. Hard. Her body convulsed around me and within me. And, feeling that, my body flew, too. I jerked my hips into hers as she pressed hers back into me. Curling my fingers into her heat forced a desperate moan from her lips. All her muscles, so strong from the work of holding our baby in, clamped down around me, ripping a hiss from my throat. I wrapped my arms around her, one above and one below our son, pulling her back to me with as much pressure as I could while still allowing her to breathe. I couldn't even speak. Couldn't comprehend how amazing that was, but I definitely felt it in the spasms. "Mmmnnnnn," she hummed through her nose, exhaling, pressing into me as she started to relax. Our bodies came down together, slowly letting the world come back into focus.

With her head pressed so far back on my shoulder, I felt a tear fall on my arm. I heard the faintest sigh, and my heart broke. I felt like a complete ass. I had hurt her because I couldn't control myself. _Jesus, is there anything in the world I can't fuck up?_ Gently but as quickly as I could, I reached around Bella and cleared the pillows, then rolled her to face me. Her gorgeous eyes shone with unshed tears, and I mentally castrated myself for not being able to keep it in my pants. "Bella, baby, I am so sorry. A-are you hurt? Where? Tell me. Shit, I'm sorry. Do you need to go to the hospital?" It took every ounce of strength in my body not to pull her from the bed bodily and carry her to the car. But, terrifying her further would be unforgivable.

And then she did the one thing I never expected her to do. She laughed. A full fledged, from-the-gut, ring-to-the-rafters _laugh_. With tears on her cheeks, she looked in my eyes and laughed clearer and harder than I had heard her laugh in a long time. It was music to my ears. "Bella, wha-"

She cut me off with a hand over my lips. "Edward, _stop_. I'm fine. I'm _better _than fine actually. I feel _amazing_." She was beaming, glowing, even with the tears on her cheeks. My body relaxed with the sound of her giggles. "Jesus. Can't the pregnant woman be just a little emotional after her husband gives her mind-blowing orgasms?!"

I felt my eyebrow cock, almost against my will. I really didn't want to be an arrogant bastard right now, not after what we just shared. It was perfect, to say the least. Sex with Bella had always been just otherworldly. But, tonight, something was different, taken to the next level. We were so in tune, moving together, knowing exactly what the other needed before they did. It was almost a spiritual experience. But, somehow, cocky bastard _Cullen _seemed to be my natural state. So, the eyebrow cocked and a smirk lifted the corner of my mouth. "Multiple mind-blowing orgasms, hmm?"

Bella smirked right back at me, the little minx, before bragging, "You're just jealous because you need time to recharge before you can come again." She giggled some more and snuggled toward me.

"Holy hell, Bella. What am I going to do with you?" I pulled her, pressing her tight against my body. After that, I cradled her head on my shoulder and rolled her so that Masen rested on my side. Once we were comfortable, I snapped my fingers twice and Spendor and Cora took their regular positions on either side of our feet. "Get some rest, beautiful," I whispered, kissing her cheek. Then, under my breath, low enough to be sure she wouldn't hear me and worry, I muttered nervously, "Something tells me we're both going to need it soon."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I pursed my lips and stared up at my bedroom ceiling. Tonight was boring. I didn't want it to be. I could go to a club, get my game on, find a girl to screw... but what fun would that be? Anymore, it didn't seem as interesting. Probably because there was a risk of catching something. That thought alone made me shudder, as well as get tested routinely. I may like to get down and dirty, but not when it comes to my junk. That shit stays clean, and I don't fuck below me, if I'm just being honest with myself, which I always am. What have I got to lose if I piss myself off? It's not like I can leave me.

Shit. I'm sharing internal monologues. I needed something to do, pronto. I groaned, rubbing my jaw. "Yo! Alice!" I waited around, tapping my fingers against my stomach. She didn't respond. "_Alley_!!" I tried again, still staying in place. Shortly after, my door creaked open, and she mumbled groggily, "What do you want, dweeb?"

"I'm bored."

"And?"

"And we should do something... Wanna go out?"

"Emmett," she exhaled, the light from the hallway getting brighter as she stepped inside and looked at her watch, "it's close to midnight, on a Wednesday. There's nothing to do besides sleep."

"I can't sleep though. Nice pj's by the way. Love the red and green flannel."

"Thanks," she muttered, looking herself over. "Why don't you... jerk off? That should keep you up for at least thirty seconds, right?"

"Ignoring your smartass sense of humor, I did that this morning, and I'm quite bored with myself. I need to do something inventive. Something fresh."

"How about stay in for once?"

"No. That's not cool enough."

She sighed, slapping her hands on her legs. "Well, I don't know how to entertain you. I'm signed on to be your roommate, not your television set."

"Please Alice," I begged, pouting out my lip. "I really can't sleep. Please hang out with me."

"And do... _what_," she hissed, hands on her hips.

"I don't care. We can figure it out though?"

"Fine," she stormed out into the hallway, leaving my door open, "whatever it takes to make you stop acting like a three year old."

"Hey! I'm going on four!" I teased, sitting up in the bed.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After she redressed in skinny jeans, red flats, and a long white tank top, I threw on a blue Hurley shirt and a cap, and we made our way down Pacific West, heading toward downtown. The night was beautiful, with stars shining for miles on end, and barely any cloud cover. "Ahhh," I said, inhaling the air, "gotta love the city at night."

"Yeah, it's beautiful," she yawned into her hand.

I threw my arm over her shoulder and pulled her tiny body into mine, chuckling. "Gotta get motivated, Alice! It's glorious!"

"Sorry," she muttered, shaking her head fast to wake herself up, "this week's sessions have been hectic. We got a lot covered. I'm mentally exhausted."

"My apologies. I had to step in for my jackass of a father, you know that."

"Yeah..."

"Besides. You're doing wonderful. You've been at this thing three times a week, for thirteen weeks. THIRTEEN _WEEKS_! That's fucking thirty-nine sessions, Alice. You're incredible."

She smiled, finally showing some pride, and nodded her head. "I am, aren't I?"

"You are. I've noticed so much change in you.... You're feisty again, and you're sassy... You bounce sometimes when you walk. You're cheerful, unless I wake you up. But other than that, you're really showing signs of improvement."

"I don't know if I would be here without you nagging some days though... You've been a great friend."

"Thank you."

"Don't let it go to your head though."

"Too late."

"Darn," she pouted playfully.

We turned the corner and crossed the street, before turning to our right and heading down a busier lane. "Alice, I've got to ask you a personal question."

"What is it?"

I licked my lips and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Do you ever fucking get off?" She froze on the sidewalk, causing me to skid to a stop, turn around, and meet her where she stood. "I really need to know," I explained. "Because I've lived with you for three months plus now, and I've never heard a fucking vibrator or noticed my shower head adjusted to a different speed... This can't be healthy for you."

She tried not to blush as her eyes met the ground and she whispered, "Yeah, I mean... a couple times."

"How? When?"

"Uh... once while you were with your dad at work. And once when you were mowing your lawn."

"That's _it_? In this amount of time, you've done it twice?!"

She nodded.

"Holy fucking Christ, Alice. It's no wonder why you're so tired. We've got to get you some dick."

"No, no we don't," she said, walking past me. "I'm fine without it. I don't want a man. I don't need anyone but myself."

"Yeah, you don't need to _depend _on anyone. But you've got to let a dick inside sometime, Alice, that just isn't normal. Not for a beautiful, fine ass woman like yourself. I'm trying my hardest not to sound as vile as I wish I could out of respect for you. But seriously, sex _does _make you happy."

"I'm just not into having one night stands."

"Why not? Sometimes they're fun."

"I don't want to put myself in that position. I'm trying to better myself."

"And trust me, I'm wearing _Team Alice_ shirts all the way, but come on... You at least need some finger or tongue action."

"When was the last time you got laid?" she interjected, trying to turn the tables on me. As if that'd work.

"With a girl or by myself? With a girl, nine days ago, and by myself, this morning."

She giggled and ran her fingers through her hair, speeding up her walk. "I just don't feel that comfortable doing it with you in the house. I'm afraid you'll hear me or walk in on it."

"No, I can respect your privacy, I'm not that pathetic. You don't have to worry about me. I want you to be comfortable."

"...I don't know," she muttered, shrugging her shoulders. We didn't continue the conversation until we were at a window seat inside a tiny coffee shop. She bit her lip and looked over at me. "Okay, my turn to ask you a personal question."

"Shoot."

"Um... have you ever taken control over a woman? Like... I don't know, a role play, or something?"

I pondered on that for a moment, then shrugged. "Actually, lately, I'm all about giving the girl what she wants. I'm not sure if I could be a controlling person. I mean, everyone's intimidated when they look at me, especially girls when they first meet me, but... to tell you the truth, I just love women. I'm not sure. I could probably do it, but I have never before. I know a few of my buddies have done it though."

"Lately, I've been... fantasizing about that a lot. I read it in a book once, and... I'm unsure of if it's because I had such a hard couple of years when I was a child, or if it's from all my asshole exes or what, but... I sometimes wonder what it would be like to feel relaxed enough to willingly let a man take control over me... someone I trusted that wouldn't hurt me."

My eyes widened a bit at her confession. I definitely hadn't expected that, but it was nice that she felt comfortable enough around me to address it. "From now on, if I find out anyone ever hurts you, they will have their dick ripped off of their body, cut up with a plastic butter knife, and fed to them for lunch. And if they _really _dick with you, I will make them regurgitate it, and then eat it again."

She blushed and chuckled, looking down at the sugar shaker. "That's what I love about you, Emmett. You're like... my big brother. Looking out for me. It's nice since I don't have Edward to do that anymore." She quickly closed her eyes, catching her mistake. She'd been much better, speaking his name now and then. She didn't get as upset, she just didn't like to do it as much, when she could help it. She swallowed and opened her eyes, taking a sip of her black coffee.

"Well, I appreciate the feedback, but I don't look at myself as your brother."

"No?"

I smirked and shook my head. "I've never made out with my sister."

She turned even more bashful, looking toward the table. "We ...haven't really spoken too much about that night, have we?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, "I never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable about it. Wasn't sure if I should bring it up. Didn't know if you regretted it."

"I don't," she whispered, before looking up and smiling shyly at me. "I mean, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to do after I broke up with Jasper, but it was still one of the best nights I'd had in the longest time. Fun. Sweet. Simple. I can't remember the last time I felt that secure, like I could be myself. That's what makes you such a great friend."

"Same here," I gave her a nod, before taking another sip of my drink. "By the way... I remember that night... you mentioned you were late."

"Oh, yeah," she shook her head quickly, "I'm not. I wasn't. It was just paranoia... I went to the doctor. We definitely don't have to worry about pregnancy when it comes to me."

I nodded, not pushing the subject. "Talked to Jasper lately?"

She smiled genuinely and nodded, "Yeah, he actually called me yesterday. He'd like to meet up with me, do lunch or something. Just friends."

"You gonna go?"

"I don't know... Probably. He's been really sweet. Texts and calls every now and again, checking on me. It's nice to know he doesn't hate me, after everything I put him through."

"Nah. It's hard to hate you, Alice. Even with your personal issues, it's... difficult to look at you and refuse to smile. You're pretty cool when you wanna be." She blushed, embarrassed again and mumbled a soft thank you. I smirked, flashing my dimples. "And quite modest, if I do say so myself. I'm not sure if that whole being dominated thing would work out for you."

She chuckled and agreed with me. "You're probably right on that part."

We drank our coffee in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

Then she said, "Hey Em... When we get home... I need to talk to you about something important, but... I'm not sure how you're going to take it."

"What do you mean? Did you piss on my toothbrush? Steal all my underwear or something?"

She shook her head, trying not to smile, "No, I'm serious."

"Why can't you tell me now?"

"Because we're in public, and it's personal."

I lifted my left eyebrow, studying her. "So... you're afraid of how I'll react in public. Is that it?"

She shrugged meekly. "I'm just afraid, period."

"What on earth do you have to be afraid of?" I scoffed, leaning back in the chair. "It's me here. Emmett. Not some random idiot -- _figuratively speaking_."

She bit her lip, not looking at my face anymore. "Disappointing you, mainly. I wouldn't want to do that."

I reached across the table and covered the back of her hand with my palm. "Hey. Look at me."

She did so slowly, her expression nervous.

"There is nothing you can say that will weaken our friendship. I'm here for you, you're here for me. If you don't want to tell me in public, that's fine, I'll wait. Just know that you don't have to worry about how I'll react, okay? I can behave."

She swallowed thickly and nodded, forcing a smile, "...I'm hoping for the best."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Two hours had passed. I'd spent them watching my wife sleep, reveling in her calming breaths and occasional soft snores or whimpers.

I took a deep breath and rubbed my nose along Bella's stomach while she slept. I wasn't sure why, but I felt no need to sleep. I was anxious, and restless.

"I don't know Masen," I whispered, my finger lightly stroking her skin, "...are you sure you're ready for this world? I wouldn't blame you a bit if you wanted to stay in there awhile... Actually, that's a lie. I don't want you to stay in much longer. But that's just me being selfish." Bella hummed and nuzzled her face into the pillow. After she had drifted away, I'd dressed her in some comfortable silk pajamas, so she wouldn't be too cold, or too hot. She'd been tossing and turning a lot tonight. But, lately, that has been normal. I knew it was hard for her to be comfortable for any length of time; these last two weeks of her pregnancy had to be difficult to bear.

I closed my eyes and pressed my face against her belly, willing Masen to allow his mother a good night's rest. "Are you going to give her that much," I whispered, "hmm? Are you going to be good for your mommy?"

Keeping my eyes closed, I said a little prayer that everything would go as smoothly as possible when it was time. The thought of Bella in pain absolutely breaks me, so I vowed to make sure nothing happened to her. The thought of anything going wrong made me very nervous. But like Aubrey said earlier, it was the over-protective, guarded side of me that thought that. Also, during our therapy sessions, our therapist, Alicia Parker, told me that anytime I felt uneasy about the past, to just remember that it was something else we overcame, and now we were stronger because of it. So... that was what I was doing.

I rested my ear on Bella's abdomen and listened to the hollowness, the movements, the faint heartbeat echoing from her chest. It sounded like the beginning of a beautiful melody. I grinned, thinking about all I could teach him. "Maybe you'll like music..." I mused, "There's some great bands out there. When your mother and I were young and just getting to know each other, we had a thing for the rock music. Some of the classics, some newer ... She loved Journey. Chicago. Def Leppard. Bad Company. Aerosmith. Queen. Foreigner. Peter Frampton. We loved it all. I could go on and on with you about music. There's something magical about it... whether it be the way the melody moves you, or the way it lifts your spirits... But the coolest thing about it is when you find yourself overwhelmed by a thought or a feeling, but you cannot get the words out to explain what it is... and then all of a sudden, this song comes, and every word you were trying to portray is in those lyrics, like it was destiny...."

I closed my eyes, recalling a few memories. "There was this one time, when I really started to recognize that I was falling for you mom... We were fifteen years old, and it was a Sunday. We weren't in the whole call each other phase yet, she was merely someone I knew and hung out with in school... and I was restless all night. At first, I couldn't figure out why, I didn't understand why I was so anxious. But after some pondering, I realized that it was because I was excited to see her the following day. We'd spent the week before on this huge biology project, and we ate lunch together on Friday. That was the first time. I remember us laughing so hard, barely getting any work done. As if the entire fucking school had vanished, and it was just her and I... So there I was, late at night, and I figured it out. I was subconsciously trying to pass time away, so it'd be Monday again. When I couldn't relax, I started searching through my radio, and I came across these lyrics that said, _''Whenever I'm alone with you... you make me feel like I am home again. Whenever I'm alone with you... you make me feel like I am whole again... _' It was a song by _311_."

I chuckled, "For some reason, that's all it took. I think that's when I realized, '_Hey dumbass, she's more than just a friend to you'_. Then I got really nervous, because I'm thinking to myself, '_How do I act at school tomorrow? Is she going to see through me, What if she isn't interested_?' So being the jackass that I was... I went to school, and I ignored her. Yeah. Doesn't make any sense, does it? But I did... And she kept asking me if I was all right, if there was something wrong... But I wouldn't answer her. I'd just shake my head. After the bell rang, I booked it out of class. Our lockers were only a few feet away from each other, mine on one wall, hers' on the opposite. Normally, between periods, we'd smile at each other and talk occasionally about our project. But that day, I wouldn't look at her... I almost made it through an eight-hour pity party, until the bell rang to head to last period. So there I was in the hallway, and she noticed me. So I turned to get in my locker and grab my next book. But she came over in all her feistyness and sassyness, and basically demanded to know why the hell I'd been acting like a jackass. So I turned to her, and out of no where, I get all aggravated and say, 'Look, Bella, I just figured out I fucking like you, and I'm not sure how I feel about it, because I'm not sure how you'd feel about it. So can you leave me alone?'."

I laughed out loud, and had to calm myself quickly so I didn't wake up Bella. I moved my hand on her stomach and pressed my face to her, willing myself to calm down. "If you could have seen her face, realized how immature I was at that moment... I would give anything to go back in time and think of something more suave to say to her. But your mother just turned all shy and quiet, took a few steps back and said, 'Oh... okay'. And that was it. She turned away and went to her class, and I banged my head into my locker. That was the first big reveal. How romantic, huh? But... we were just kids back then. Young teenagers, bitten by fate, I suppose."

A hand reached down and caressed my face. I turned to see Bella looking down at me, smiling. "Hey, did I wake you up?"

"No," she whispered, "I've been in and out all night... I need to get up though. I have to pee again."

I nodded and pushed off of my elbows, before taking her hand. Lifting her gently, I turned her body, so her feet could touch the floor. She kissed the back of my knuckles before I pulled her up. She ran her fingers through my hair and moved past me, flipping on the light.

Yawning, I heard a, "_Shit_... Uh...what the... eww. Oh God... Edward?"

My heart jumped as I pushed off the mattress with my knees and ran in there, to find her eyes as big as saucers. "What? What is it?" Then my eyes lowered from her chest, past her stomach where her hands were, toward her red silk pajama pants... which were wet.

"Is this... uhm... I don't... I-I didn't pee-"

"Your water broke," I answered myself with an exhale, my entire body locking down. It was dead silent in our room for a minute, aside from the whirring of the ceiling fan above.

"Are you serious?" she asked softly, "Are you sure I didn't just accidentally go to the bathroom and not know it? B-Because sometimes, Masen hits my bladder, and he makes me have to go right away."

"That's not a urine smell, baby," I shook my head, moving closer to her. My brain was started to adjust to its' surroundings, to the situation, and I realized she was five seconds away from freaking out. I quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed her hands, and they were all ready trembling. "No," she shook her head, "this can't be... We're not forty weeks yet... It's too soon."

"Anything past thirty-six weeks is perfectly fine," I explained, keeping my voice calm. I wasn't even sure if this was hitting me yet, if my heart was even beating, "It's time, love."

"Time?" She stared up at me, in shock, and disbelief. "Time?"

I reached around her and grabbed a towel from the rack, "Yes."

"But I'm not ready. I'm not sure if we're r-"

"We're ready," I reassured her. "You're ready. Plus you have an advantage. You have me, so there's no need to panic, okay? We're going to get through this, and you're going to do great. I don't want you to worry at all."

Her chin began to quiver, but her eyes didn't well up, as she slowly nodded, "Okay... Okay... What do we do?"

"First thing is we get you cleaned up. Then I'm going to call Aubrey, and then get Tommy to come help me load the car."

She allowed me to clean her up with some warm water, and then I sat her on the edge of the tub, ran to the bedroom, and grabbed my cell phone. Three quick calls; one to Tommy asking him to come on over, one to Aubrey to let her know the situation, and the final call was to my mother, who'd make all the calls to everyone else, and meet us at the hospital.

After a few minutes of convincing, Bella let me check her, and I quickly figured she was three centimeters dilated. "Baby, why didn't you tell me when you started feeling funny?"

"I did," she whispered, as I dressed her in some warm sweats, "I said I felt weird. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it, I didn't know..."

"It's okay, it's fine..." I gently pulled her hair back off of her face into a ponytail. "Are you having contractions?"

"...I don't know. I mean, if I am, it's nothing big... maybe some cramping."

"Back pain?"

"Nothing unbearable."

I eyed her down fiercely, wondering if she was sugar coating it for my sake. Knowing her, she probably was. I ran back into the bedroom and grabbed my watch off of the nightstand, before going back in with her and feeling her stomach for myself while I stared at my watch.

Tommy knocked before entering our room. "How's it going in here?"

"Pops," Bella smiled relief, reaching out and giving him a quick sideways hug as he leaned toward her. "I'm scared to death, but Edward's handling it like a champ over here.... You look handsome tonight."

"Well, thank you," Tommy replied, doing a little dance to make her laugh and relax, "it's nice being in jeans and a t-shirt while I'm at work, that's for sure... So... look at you, gorgeous. Are we ready for Masen Anthony's big moment?"

"Gonna have to be," she answered, blush staining her cheeks. "Oh, Edward, I want Rosalie and Coll-"

"My mom's taking care of it," I reassured her, helping her stand up. "My first concern is getting you to the hospital."

"He's not going to just come right out though? We have time, we'll make-"

"We have plenty of time," I replied with a kiss to her forehead as I moved her out of the bathroom and toward the stairs. Tommy helped me get Bella to the first floor. We gathered our bags to load into Bella's red Hyundai Elantra. He offered to drive us, which I was thankful for, so I could stay in the back with her.

Bella was eerily calm for most of the trip, but I did notice her squeezing my hand and closing her eyes, meaning she was trying to hide the fact that she was in pain. I'd been right. She was hiding her contractions. I rubbed the back of her neck with my free hand, and called a few of our friends. Emmett was in town with Alice, and kept saying I was playing a joke on him. Mom got to Jake and Rose before I did, so they were already on their way to the hospital to meet us. Jasper was with Colleen and Alyssa, and they had just left a ten o'clock movie showing. He wished me luck and said they'd meet us there. I wondered briefly where the fuck Makin was. About five minutes before we got there, Bella started to breathe heavily through her nose, making it a bit more obvious that she was contracting. I moved closer to her and started rubbing her stomach, which she seemed to appreciate. "Ouch," she whispered, practicing her breathing from the classes we'd been to, "....owwww, ow, ow, ow."

"Just breathe," I whispered, massaging her skin, "we're almost there... you're doing wonderful, baby, I'm proud of you..." I breathed with her, mimicking her pants and blows. I moved one of my hands down and started to rub her inner thighs a little bit, because I knew her body was tense by how tight her face appeared.

As Tommy pulled into the drop-off area, Bella's expression relaxed and she smiled at me, "...much better now." I smiled and kissed her lips. There was already a chair waiting on us, Bree standing behind it, a big smile plastered on her face. She always got that way when she knew a new baby was coming.

I held Bella's hand while she was wheeled inside and up the elevator, to the Maternity floor. I had filled out most of her paperwork a couple of days ago, so we didn't have to worry about much of that, besides setting the time of arrival and such. It was a surreal feeling, walking down that hall, toward Labor and Delivery. I'd walked this corridor many times, but never for myself. So being here, seeing all my co-workers and friends at work, and knowing that this time, I was going to be leaving with a child... it felt like everything was suddenly in slow motion.

My brain was acting on pure adrenaline. It was as if my mind refused to realize that Masen was coming. I wasn't sure why really. Maybe it was just one of those things that happens when your life is about to change so drastically, so quickly. Jasper, Colleen, and Alyssa was already there when we arrived, the theater being across the street from the hospital. Colleen and Bella hugged quickly, before they followed us into Bella's room. Bree took Bella in to change into her gown, while I filled out the remaining parts of Bella's paperwork. While I was writing, Alyssa started to tug on my fingers, so I scooped her up in my arm and balanced her on my side while I wrote.

Jasper hung back, setting Bella's bags by the bed with Tommy and rearranging everything, before standing in the corner. I noticed Aimee lingering in the hallway, and gave her a nod as I handed her the paperwork. She gave me a generous smile, before turning to enter the paperwork behind the counter. She didn't seem concerned that I had asked Aubrey to take her off our rotation, and I was thankful that there weren't any hard feelings. Bella's mood changed about her a few weeks previous when more details of mine and Aimee's relationship had been revealed in therapy. I didn't lie about anything, so she found out how long we'd been messing around and that it had actually happened at work, and that was pretty much the final nail in the _learning-to-accept-Aimee-as-my-friend_ coffin. That's why she refused to have Aimee in the room with us. She said we were moving on with our lives, and even though she didn't care if I worked with her, though she wasn't happy about that either, that she definitely wasn't going to be allowed as our nurse on our special day. I gave no arguments whatsoever.)

As soon as the door opened, I sat Alyssa down and ran over to help Bella into the bed. Our friends left briefly so that Bella could be examined. We found out that her cervix was almost five centimeters dilated, sixty percent effaced. After that her pulse, blood pressure, respiration, and temperature were all checked. I helped Anna and Bree strap the ultrasound transducer (to monitor the heartbeat) and pressure-sensitive gauge around Bella's stomach, and after everything routine was done, an IV was inserted into the back of Bella's right hand, which made Alyssa cry into her mom's shirt. I gave Anna a low-down of Bella's brief labor history, what time her water broke, when the contractions started, so forth, and handed her and Bree extra copies of Bella's birthing plan. Bella asked me to get Alyssa, and Colleen happily handed her off with a laugh. I carried her over to where Bella was trying to relax . Alyssa sat on her knees and kissed the back of Bella's hand, sniffling, "I dust don't want su to det hurt."

"No, no, I'm fine," Bella said softly, brushing the hair back from Alyssa's shoulders. "This is for the baby, to make sure he's healthy when he comes to meet us."

"Pwomise?" Alyssa asked, batting her lashes.

Bella gave her a kiss on the cheek and nodded, "I promise, sweetheart."

Jasper came around and lifted Alyssa from the bed, tickling her. I rubbed Bella's stomach while the three of them left to go downstairs and start directing our friends and family where to go and wait. Bella's contractions were definitely coming now, five minutes apart consistently, thirty to forty seconds long. I continued massaging her abdomen and back, while Bree walked over and placed a cool wash rag on Bella's head. Bella was grateful to her, squeezing her hand in appreciation. Bree winked at her, before leaving to see if Aubrey had arrived yet. Then Anna came in to check the monitor, showing me the progress.

"Looks good," I reassured Bella, giving her a wink.

* * *

**AlicePOV**

"No," I tugged on Emmett's arm, as he pulled me across the pavement, toward the front doors. "Emmett, really, I don't want to. I can just go home."

"Like hell!" he scoffed, shaking his head. "Everyone got notified. Edward seemed relieved to know that you were with me when he called, so I'm pretty sure he wants you here."

"But I don't think it's right! I don't want to cause problems for Bella or Edward! Just because I'm doing better doesn't mean they forget what I've done and said!"

"Bella was never pissed at you, Alice, and Edward misses the hell out of you. Besides, this is a big moment for them. Can't you put your personal issues in the corner and be there for your best friend?"

"I am putting my personal issues aside. That's why I shouldn't be going in there!"

Emmett turned and glared at me, taking his power stance. "Mary Alice, if I have to throw you over my shoulder and tie you to my lap while we wait, I am not going in there without you. I know without a doubt in my mind, that Edward is going to need all of the support he can get, because he's going to be panicked over Bella. If you are doing as good as both you and I think you are doing, then not only can you handle this, but you _will_ handle this. Do you got it?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "If he or Bella say at any point in time that they are uncomfortable, then I'm gone."

"Deal," he said, grabbing my arm and pulling me inside.

"God, you're so pushy!"

"You know you fucking love it. It's all in part of getting you prepared for that dominated thing you were telling me about earlier."

"I take it back," I growled as he pushed the button for the elevator.

"Sorry, no take-backs allowed."

As we rounded the corner after stepping off the elevator, we ran straight into Jasper, who was talking on his cell phone. Nervous butterflies hit me as he took in our appearance. He gave Em a nod, and me a generous smile. I walked over to him and one-arm hugged him, while he mumbled, "Yeah... okay... got to go though. Some friends are here. I'll call you back."

He hung up and bent down a bit, picking me up and spinning me around. "Hey, beautiful! Your hair got longer."

I smiled and squeezed him tight, before being set back on my feet, "Thanks, I'm growing it out, actually. You're in an awfully good mood."

"Why shouldn't I be? Babies are awesome."

Emmett chuckled and shook his head, scratching the back of his neck. "I love kids until they cry and I cannot figure out why. Then they grow up and throw tantrums until I'm red in the face."

"Ahh, it's part of it," Jasper chuckled in his southern drawl. I tilted my head and grinned up at him. We'd had a lot of conversations of the past few weeks, and though it made me nervous, it was really easy to get along with him, even after all was said and done.

"Who's all here?" Emmett asked, flipping through his phone.

"Me, Colleen, Alyssa, You, you, Jake and Rosalie are on their way, and Esme called to say they'll be here in fifteen. I'm not sure about everyone else."

"How's Bella?" I asked.

"She's good. She seems to be putting on a strong face. I bet she's scared shitless though. She and I used to talk about kids sometimes. She always said the labor was one of her worst fears."

"She'll never show that to Edward though," Emmett stated, sticking his hands in his jeans pocket.

"Oh no, she'll try to man up and be tough."

We walked into the waiting room, to find Colleen reading a magazine, and Alyssa sitting on the floor with printing paper and markers, drawing wide circles and twisty-looking tornados.

After our minimal greetings, I squatted down next to Alyssa. "Those are very beautiful. Do you like tornadoes?"

"I wuv storms," she obliged, swirling orange marker around. "Dey put me to sweep better."

"That's good," I smiled as Emmett plopped down in a chair next to Colleen.

Jasper sat on the other side of her and whispered something in her ear. She nodded in response, flipping the page.

...And then it became awkward silence.

I blew out a gust of wind and pretended to watch Alyssa draw more, trying not to look like I felt like the odd one out. A few minutes later, I saw Aimee head toward us, and couldn't help but chuckle. I laughed every time I saw that girl. I mean seriously, what kind of idiot doesn't know how to cook popcorn in the microwave. There's a freakin' button specifically for it. It says 'Popcorn' and everything.

As she grabbed a few charts off the wall, Emmett noticed her, "Hey blondie!"

She skidded to a stop and looked at him for a minute, blinking her bambie-doe lashes. Then she smiled and slowly walked over to him, "Hey.."

"How's it going in there?"

"In... where?"

"In Edward and Bella's room."

She folded the chart up to her chest and shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "I wouldn't know, really. I'm not on their case anymore."

My eyes widened as Emmett's brow furrowed. "Why not?" he asked, not trying to be bashful about it at all.

"Because it was the patient's request," she replied with a forced smile. "If you'll excuse me."

Emmett gave her a nod as she walked away and I slapped the back of his shin, "God, Emmett, could you be more obvious!"

"I didn't know, I thought she was their nurse still!"

"Bella hates that little skinny... _witch_," Colleen replied, turning her head to the opposite page, trying not to curse in front of her daughter. "Can't blame her. She's had Edward's _hmmm," _she pointed nonchalantly to her crotch, "and _mmmm," _she wiggled her fingers, "and his _you know," _she stuck out her tongue,_ "in_..._ some place _on her. That alone would make me want to go all _'Lorena Bobbitt' _if I were Bella and she was forced to be my bedside nurse on the day of _my _first child's delivery."

Jasper chuckled, covering his face with his hand.

"Besides," Colleen continued, "I told Bella that if the contractions got too bad, that I'd just grab Aimee and bash her brains into the wall.. at least it'd put Bella's focus on something else, and maybe make her laugh."

Emmett groaned, shaking his head, "Remind me to never get on your bad side, Colleen."

Colleen muttered something under her breath with a smile and leaned toward Jasper, pointing something out in a magazine. Then they started laughing again. Those two seemed awfully close... it made me wonder where Makin was.

Shortly after, Edward stepped outside of their room wearing a grey t-shirt, dark jeans, and a nice black jacket. That's when my nerves really hit me.

Bree stopped him at the desk, and he nodded to her, as she asked few things and wrote stuff down in a chart. Aimee said something to him, but he held up his index finger to her and walked around, greeting us. Everyone jumped up and was quick to give him a hug and a congrats about today being the big day. I remained on the floor and stayed with Alyssa, pretending to help her color.

"How's she feeling?" Colleen asked, her sweet voice back.

"She's doing okay... I think the pain's worse than what she's letting on. I'm going to get her to go for a short walk with me in a few minutes, let gravity help the situation... maybe talk to her about some pain medication. She's five centimeters dilated, getting close to six. I can't believe how fast it's going, considering it's our first. Let's just hope that God stays on our side tonight."

"Has it hit you yet?" Emmett asked, patting Edward's back, "That you're about to have a son in this world?"

Edward shook his head quickly, displaying a small smile. "No... I don't think it will for a while."

"Has Doctor Sherber showed yet?" Jasper asked, sitting back down in his chair and drawing Edward's eyes to me and Alyssa.

"...Yeah, she's in her office now, but she's getting ready to come see Bella...." He paused, and it got really silent again. "...Hey, Alice."

I looked up at him and smiled, before glancing back down, my heart beating out of my chest. _Just breathe, Alice. It's okay, you can do this_.

"Well," Edward exhaled, "I don't want to leave her in there with Anna. Let me know when my mom gets here, will you Em?"

"Sure thing, boss."

Edward walked away and Aimee called him over, and I swear, I almost heard Colleen's eyes roll back in her head. Edward was very brief with Aimee. She said something and they laughed, and then he walked away, heading back to Bella's room.

My palms were clammy as I nervously ran my fingers through my hair and stood up, trying to gain balance with my unsteady legs.

"Where are you going?" Jasper asked, standing up after me.

"I'm going to use the restroom and step outside for a moment."

"Do you need someone to go with you?" Colleen's eyes shot up at Jasper, and she looked like she didn't want him leaving her, as her hand reached up and touched his outer thigh, making my speculation about the two of them grow intensely.

"No," I answered quickly, not wanting to stir up any more shit for anyone else. "I'll be fine."

"Alice," Emmett warned, narrowing his eyes at me.

"I'll be back."

"Don't make me chase after you girl."

"Yes, _Sir_," I huffed at him. "I'll be right back, I promise."

"Eight minutes and counting." He tapped his watch.

I flipped him off carefully, hiding my middle finger from Alyssa, before heading toward the bathroom. I needed some cool water, and possibly a cigarette if I could find one. With all my bad habits going down the drain, it was about time that I picked up a new one. _Out with the old, in with the new_, my therapist said.

...I'm not sure she meant it the way I was taking it though.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Edward's hands felt incredible on my lower back, as he had me turned to my left side. I blew out a gust of air I wasn't aware that I was holding and closed my eyes, rolling my head around to stretch my neck. "That feels really good, Edward."

He moved in closer and pressed his lips to the back of my neck, sending tingles across my arms and down my spine. "What about that?" he asked with a smile.

I grinned and slid my teeth across my lip. "That feels nice too."

He chuckled, applying more pressure with his thumbs as he moved his mouth closer to the side of my neck, "You're doing so good baby," he whispered into my right ear. "You're amazing."

I felt another one gradually building up steam, and when it got to the point to where I couldn't hide it, I closed my eyes and turned my face into his to block my expression. The contractions were definitely more intense. As soon it got unbearable, my fingers gripped the side of the bed and I held my breath, counting down the seconds. I knew I shouldn't do it. Lamaze class taught me that this was wrong. But I didn't know how else to conceal it. I didn't want to worry Edward. I knew how he was when it came to me and pain.

"Just breathe," Edward whispered, dragging his hands lazily from my back to my stomach and massaging the contraction away the best he could, "...I'm right here baby, I'm right here with you..."

"How are we doing in here?" A musical voice chimed, as Aubrey Sherber walked in, wearing dress slacks and a white shirt, her hair twisted around and streams falling wherever they may. It made me sad that she could look so glamorous and be so happy, while I was in pain and had mascara running from the previous night, and messy sex hair... though I'm not sure if I'm complaining about the last one or not.

I smiled at her as the contraction eased and gave her a nod, "Doing okay."

"You look wonderful... I see your coach is here."

Edward smiled to her as he brushed the hair out of my face, "She's a trooper, my wife," he said proudly. "Check out those charts."

Aubrey patted me on my leg as she walked over, picking up the paper feeding out of a machine and glancing at it, "Mmhmm.... mmhmm... very in sync.... These are wonderful, Bella. How you holding up?"

I shrugged, forcing a smile. "I'm okay, but I've been better."

She explained to me that she was going to check my progress as Bree handed her some gloves. Edward kept my right hand in his left as he stood on his tip toes to look over and see whatever it was that she was looking at.

"Okay Bella," Aubrey said calmly, "I want to feel the baby's position, so they're might be some pressure..."

When she pressed into me, it hurt a little and by pure reaction, I squeezed Edward's hand, but released it immediately. His body straightened quickly and he leaned over me, kissing my forehead and brushing his fingers down my cheek. "...Almost done," he reassured me before another kiss.

I nodded as she pulled away and stated that I was still five centimeters, but had reached eighty-five percent effaced.

I wanted to cry. _Still stuck at five?_ It seemed like this was going on forever.

After she spoke to Edward about something, he turned to me and rubbed the back of my hand, "Baby, do you want to try and get out of the bed for a few minutes, maybe walk around?"

I thought about it for a moment, and then nodded, "Whatever will make this go faster."

"Worth a shot," he grinned crookedly as he helped me up.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I felt like the world was watching me as Edward led me out into the hall, wheeling my IV and holding my hand.

I knew Aimee was working, I saw her when we'd arrived, and the thought of her being in the same hall as me, my husband, and my child made me want to commit murder. I knew it wasn't fair to think that way, considering I had a past with men as well. But still…

No one touches Edward but me. It should be carved in stone somewhere, or better yet, written in the Bible itself.

I tried not to think about it as we slowed down. I squeezed the rail and breathed out, "I have to use the restroom again."

"Okay... there's one right here," Edward whispered, guiding me to it, "I'll help you."

"I can do it," I tried to convince him, but he entered and closed the door behind me anyway.

"Bella, this isn't a time for modesty, and I want you to be as comfortable as possible. Besides, there's no reason to be shy, I've pissed in front of you before. Let me help you, alright?"

I nodded because I knew there was no way of getting around it, and ended up being quite thankful when he did give me his help to sit down. The peeing in front of him was kind of embarrassing, but thankfully, I didn't have a full gallon in my bladder. Still, my cheeks were flushed tomato-red as I finished up, flushed, and washed my hands. Edward wasn't phased at all. He just led me back out and continued rubbing my back as we walked.

As we walked, another contraction built up, and by the time it got there, I couldn't help but stop moving. Edward slowly turned me into the wall and pressed himself against my back, pushing his fingers in my pressure points to alleviate some of the pain. He rocked his hips against mine, moving me left to right slowly, "...Here you are being the typical girl, making me dance with you," he teased, pressing his chin on my shoulder.

I chuckled softly and then winced because that made the pain momentarily worse.

He inhaled slowly and I followed him, and we exhaled together, pushing the pain away.

"Good girl," he whispered, before he began to hum along my skin as he kept us swaying. "You smell really good by the way."

"Thank you," I flushed. "...So do you. Like mints and man and a whole bunch of wonderful smelly stuff I can never figure out what they are... trust me, I've tried..."

He grinned and rubbed the back of my neck. Just then, our parents rounded the corner, and Esme and Renee hurried toward us, while Carlisle hung back a bit.

They both squealed at a level only dogs could hear, while Esme grabbed Edward and Renee carefully pulled me in her arms.

Seeing my mom there, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I wasn't sure why, but I began to cry.

She hugged me as tight as possible, cradling my head like a newborn.

"Oh my baby girl! My sweet, sweet, precious daughter."

I realized it then. I wished my dads were here.

I pushed my face into her shoulder as she rubbed my back, "Don't cry, Isabella... this is a happy moment."

Sniffling, I nodded and cleared my throat, wiping off my face, "I'm sorry... hormones."

"It's a big day," she said, giving me an understanding look. Her and Esme switched places and we hugged again. It was the first time I'd seen my mom kiss Edward. It made me smile.

Carlisle shook Edward's hand and patted him on the back, and gave me a kiss on my forehead, before stepping back again. I noticed him and Esme didn't really stand by each other... That made me wonder why Esme had been calling so much lately.

I winced as another contraction built, because it seemed to be coming faster. My fingers gripped the wood and I shut my eyes, humming, while both our mom's tried to help. Edward was quick to massage and comfort me, but that was when I really noticed that Edward looked visibly upset. It made me feel bad, like I was failing him, by showing him I was hurting. So I tried to buckle down and smile, reassuring everyone I was okay as soon as I could.

The three of them left to sit their stuff in the waiting room, and when Edward and I started walking toward the room, he put on his serious face. "Bella... I need to talk to you about something."

"What's that?"

"I know how you are and I know what you're thinking... But I want to let you know, you're beautiful, and brave. No one doubts that. There is no shame in pain relief."

"Edward, I'm okay, really," I lied, patting his hand. "I want to do this the right way."

"Baby, please. There is no right way to do this, as long as you and Masen are all right."

"We're okay."

He stopped and turned me slowly, "You are not a failure if you need help. But I see this pain killing you, and therefore, it's killing me. I don't want to see you hurt. I don't like it. Keeping the pain away from me because you think you're protecting me is wrong. Yes, it hurts for me to see you hurting. But, it hurts me more because you don't have to be. Fighting this is going to make things more difficult for you, and easing your pain a little is quick, simple, and safe."

I nodded meekly, looking toward the ground.

"So, please answer me truthfully... Are you in pain, baby?"

I nodded again.

"Then let's get you some help, okay? We cannot do an epidural past six centimeters, and you're almost there. Let's do this while we have time... I'll be in the room with you, and I promise, you'll have some time to relax after. Does that sound good?"

"Yeah," I whispered as he turned me into the room, where our mom's were. "I can't believe we've only been here a few hours. It seems like we've been here longer."

"It's going to."

They smiled and helped Edward get me into bed, before he called for Anna to get Aubrey. She came in quickly and made sure I didn't have to use the restroom again. She explained the importance of keeping the IV, because it'd prevent a drop in my blood pressure and keep my fluids from dropping too low. Then we waited around for the anesthesiologist, all the while, I felt like I was letting people down.

Everyone was cleared out but Edward, whom Aubrey was kind enough to let stay. (Not that he would have left if she asked him to anyway.)

They had me sit up, and Edward stood in front of me, bracing my arms as the man explained what he was about to do to me. I felt my gown open up and some cold liquid was rubbed around in a big circle. Then he wrote a number on my lower back. I was nervous about the needle and started to shake as I pushed my face into Edward's chest and started gulping in large breathes, using his smell to calm myself down.

After what seemed like an hour of waiting, while the nurses around us monitored the paper to make sure a contraction wasn't coming, I felt Edward's hands grip me tighter to let me know the needle was on the way. I hunched over the pillow they gave me to open up my spine, and pressed my head harder against him. Then came a poke and some pressure. It tingled, and a quick shooting pain crossed me when the needle found its' spot. After that, the needle was removed, and then the burning came as the liquid entered. Edward hummed gently to me, rubbing my arms as they had me sit in place while the catheter was taped to my back.

After about five minutes, I felt things start to go numb. They had me lay on my side as they monitored my blood pressure. One more contraction came that I could feel, but I definitely could tell the difference. Once I was given the green light to relax, I felt myself do so immensely. I reached out to Edward's hand lazily, "Can you lay with me?"

He nodded with a smile and walked around to my other side, before slowly climbing behind me, making sure nothing attached to me was jostled. It eased me to know that he was with me. I relaxed tenfold. His hands continued to massage my back and stomach, while he sang softly the lyrics to, _'Lullaby' _by _The Spill Canvas_, which I'd play in the car while we'd go baby shopping. There was something about the melody, that made me feel like it was about Edward and I. Plus, it was soothing enough to make me want to sleep.

Edward's velvety voice was exactly what I needed as he sang gently, "'_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous... It's your ability to make me earn this. I know that you're tired... just let me sing you to sleep... It's about how you laugh out of pity, 'cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny. I know that you're shot... just let me sing you to sleep_." He smiled against my skin, kissing my cheek as my lashes fluttered to a close, "_'If you need... anything, just say the word, I mean anything... Rest assure, if you start to doze, then I'll tuck you in, plant my lips where your necklaces close_.'"

And as the lyric of the first chorus ended, he did just that, kissing the back of my neck.

I smiled into his arm, which was tucked beneath my head and curled my chin downward, into his other arm that was across my chest. I began to drift in and out, while he continued to sing and kiss along my shoulder. I couldn't remember a single time when I felt that close to Edward before. In the eight years that I'd known him, I'd never felt more in love with him then at that very moment... and at that thought, I wondered what it would be like after Masen finally showed his beautiful self to us. I couldn't imagine loving Edward anymore than I did right now, but I had a feeling that in a short amount of time, I'd find out just how possible that was.

The last thing I heard before I drifted away was Edward singing the bridge, "'..._While you were sleeping, I figured out everything... I was constructed for you, and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name... coursing through my veins. You shine so bright, it's insane, you put the sun to shame_...'"

I felt a tear of joy fall from the corner of my eye, onto his arm.

Then drowsiness took hold of me, and I was grateful that he could protect the two of us so I could rest.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I relaxed into the chair, threw my arm around the back of Colleen's, and took a glance at everyone in the waiting room...

Jacob and Rosalie were sitting beside Renee, showing her some pictures that she shot recently with her camera.

Carlisle was leaning against the wall, talking to a few of Edward's male coworkers whose names I forgot.

Emmett was sitting between Colleen and Alice in the same row as us, playing Blackjack on his cell phone, while Alice was writing something down in what appeared to be a journal I hadn't seen before.

Esme was sitting in a chair along the wall to our right, looking through a shopping bag.

Paul and Dean had also joined us, catching an emergency flight as soon as Edward called four hours ago. They were a riot, joking and laughing, playfully teasing the female nurses who seemed to blush and flirt at every opportunity.

Victor, Edward's so-called grandfather (a fact I still doubt given that the man is too young and too suave to have had Carlisle and then to have watched Carlisle have Edward), stood at the nurse's station, talking (or flirting) with Edward's boss.

Colleen seemed completely on edge, which I understood. I rubbed her back and leaned over, "It's going to be okay."

"Yeah, but he's here now," she whispered back, exhaling heavily. "I hate this. I don't know why. It never made me this uneasy before, but now he's, like, right there."

I glanced up at everyone, making sure no on was paying much attention to us, before turning back to her ear. "I'm here for you... Just say the word, and we can get Alyssa, and I can take her to a friend's house. I know people who will watch her."

"Thanks," she replied, patting my leg. Alyssa looked up at us and crawled toward Colleen's knees, "Mama, wheres did Auntsie Bella did go?"

"Aunt Bella is fine," Colleen picked her up and propped her on her knee, turning Alyssa to face us, and not the general direction of the group, "she's waiting on Masen Anthony, with Uncle Edward."

Alyssa blushed, as she always did when Edward's name was mentioned, and ducked her face into her mother's shirt, giggling.

"This sucks," Emmett said, readjusting his body behind Colleen, "these chairs are fucking tiny."

"Well, you are the size of a small gorilla," Dean reminded him. "Snapper."

"Fuck off, Purina."

Dean chuckled at the inside joke they were sharing, but was quickly cut short.

"Excuse me," Colleen hissed, snapping her neck toward Emmett and Dean, "can you please watch your language around my daughter?"

Emmett raised his eyebrow at her and then chuckled, before standing up and walking away, muttering an apology. Colleen rolled her eyes and bent forward, pressing her head to the top of Alyssa's. Carlisle shifted uncomfortably against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, clearing his throat.

Paul walked over to us and bent forward, tapping Alyssa's knee. Colleen and Alyssa both raised their heads to look at him, and Colleen pulled Alyssa closer to her body.

"Hi, I'm Paul," he said, holding out his hand to Alyssa. "We haven't officially been introduced yet. What's your name?"

"Alyssa," she muttered, before covering her face again.

"Do you remember me from the wedding?"

Alyssa shook her head.

Colleen's eyes bounced from the two of them to me, and then she smiled politely at Paul, "She's... shy today."

"She's a cutie."

"Thank you," she replied curtly.

Paul nodded and took that as a hint to leave, moving toward Bree at the nurse's station. Suddenly, Bree dropped the chart on the counter as Edward called out Bella's name. She, Anna, and Aubrey all charged into the room at top speed

The entire group seemed to tighten up, while Renee and Esme headed toward Bella's room but were quickly shut out.

I felt my stomach drop into my ass.

This couldn't be good.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

"Bella," I called, lifting her in my arm as I climbed off the bed, "baby? Can you wake up for me?"

Bella nodded slowly, her eyes fluttering as I lifted her back. She was groggy. Shit.

"What's going on in here?" Aubrey said, rushing over to me while the machines sounded, Bree grabbing the paper while Anna grabbed the gloves.

"Fetal distress," I answered quickly, adjusting the strap around her stomach, "Masen's heart is slowing down."

"Okay Bella, I need you to move to your right side for me, sweetheart," Aubrey said calmly, looking at me briefly to make sure I wasn't going to panic.

Bella's eyes were wide as she looked quickly from her to me and back, then did as she was instructed.

"This happens a lot," Aubrey explained while I helped Bella get into position, "...sometimes the baby gets a tad bit too cozy... It's nothing to worry about."

Anna handed me the oxygen mask and I quickly placed it around Bella's head and over her nose. "Deep slow breaths," I said, rubbing the back of her neck as my heart pounded through my chest. "In through your nose... good, baby.... Out through your mouth now... That's good."

Bella's hands were tight around my wrist where my hand massaged her stomach.

I held my breath as they adjusted her more.

After a few minutes, Aubrey said, "Okay Bella, let's try the other side now, see if Masen likes that better."

As they turned her to face me, I concealed my panic behind a mask and smiled down at Bella, brushing the hair out of her eyes. "It's okay, this happens."

"Are you lying?" she asked through the clear mask, which she held to her face.

"I promise, I'm not," I reassured her, "I'll never lie to you, Bella."

We kept Bella on her side for a moment, moving the straps around, trying to get a better feel for what was going on. Aubrey quickly narrowed it to lack of oxygen, but turning Bella on her other side helped out a lot. I'm not sure I breathed one time in the ten minutes they had her lay on her right side. I didn't feel a need for air. I wanted Bella and Masen to have it all.

The nurses were relaxed and calm, joking lightly with Bella, reassuring her that she had nothing to worry about. But I couldn't speak. I was the one she depended on the most, the one she relied on, and I was a fucking mute.

In my head, I knew this happened a lot and I'd never panicked. Sometimes it was natural as labor progressed, while other times, it was a slight side effect from the epidural.

But when it's my own wife and child at stake, it's a whole other ballgame for me. I had to get a grip. I couldn't show Bella I was worried. I was her support team for crying out loud. Once the beeps of the monitor began to stabilize, I felt my rigid bones relax a little.

"Good," Aubrey said, rubbing Bella's arm as she moved her back against the pillows behind her, "...see? Nothing to worry about at all. Baby Masen just got too cozy, that's all."

She looked over at me, questioning how I was doing. I nodded nonchalantly and gave her a smile, thanking her. That was the first time I exhaled.

I soon realized that this was going to be a lot more difficult than I thought. Seeing Bella in any amount of stress, and knowing Masen was at risk, too... it broke me. It took everything I had to man up and stay strong until Bella began to understand and calm down.

Twenty minutes later, I felt a sense of calm cascade around the room like a force field. Thankfully, Bella understood that it was okay now.

Well... they were. _ Me on the other hand..._

Rosalie and Renee entered shortly after, and I was thankful for them. I felt physically torn in two. The largest part of me didn't want to fucking think about leaving my wife's side for one short second, in fear of not only something else going wrong, but of missing anything as the labor progressed.

But there was another side of me that told me I had to catch my breath, or I was going to pass out.

While they comforted Bella and showed their support, I kissed Bella on the top of her head, promised I'd be right back, and moved out of the way. Emmett, Paul, and Dean were standing in the doorway, and noticed the expression of my face, crept into the room, and followed me into the Bella's adjoining bathroom.

I didn't answer their questions, didn't speak at all. I needed cold water on my face. They stopped talking and gave me a moment, patting my back as I calmed the hell down. The icy water hit me and I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath. In the midst of my panic, my body temperature rose and caused the shirt to stick to my chest. I pulled it away and pushed off of the sink, shaking my head.

"You all right man?" Emmett asked, patting me on my back again.

"Yeah," I nodded, wiping my face with a paper towel. "Just got spooked for a second."

They asked their questions and I quickly explained to them what had happened, how normal it was, but because it was Bella, I, of course, freaked out. After reassuring them everything was fine, Paul took this as the perfect time to crack a joke, "Well... I never imagined that I'd be standing in a tiled bathroom with the three of you on the maternity floor... but then again, God does have a way of fucking with my head."

We laughed silently and they helped me calm down, giving me the low down on what was going on in the waiting room to take my mind off of things.

After that, I thanked them, and got back into the room with my wife. Anna informed me that Bella was now eight, going on nine centimeters, and a hundred percent effaced. That almost made my heart stop again. That meant we didn't have long at all now.

I stole a glance at my watch. It was six am. We'd been here since a quarter 'til one this morning.

And I was about to see my son.

As I went to get Bella's bag from the window, Aubrey walked over to me, rubbing my arms. "You okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Good. Scrub up."

I looked at her, stunned for a second. _Did I hear her correctly?_

"You did extremely well," she reassured me calmly, taking a step closer. "Even though you were nervous, you didn't show that to Bella, just as you wouldn't with any other patient. You can handle this. Like you mentioned earlier, you'll feel better if you were scrubbed in and prepared. Besides, I might need your assistance, and I know you want to be as big of a part as this as possible. So get your scrubs on. It should happen within the hour."

I nodded, swallowing hard. "Thank you."

She gave me a wink, before heading off to get ready herself.

Then I felt the wheels of the world turning again... I think _this _was the moment where it finally hit me. This was _it_.

When she reaches ten centimeters dilated, my life as I knew it would never be the same again.

No more struggles, no more stupid mistakes, no more guilt, no more anxiety, and most importantly, another reminder that there was no life without Bella. She had always been, not _only _my missing piece, but also the glue that held everything about me together.

Knowing that I could leave all of that behind and that Masen was the next step after marriage to our second chance... and realizing that it was about to happen sooner than later, without anyone's control...

I never felt more ecstatic.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I bobbed my head, listening to my iPod through my headphones. Edward's mom, Esme, sat beside me a while back and I hooked up an extension I carried with me, normally shared by Alice when she'd come to work out with me on Monday's, and gave her the other headset.

She smiled and gave me a thumbs up, approving of the best live fourteen-minute version of_ Peter Frampton's, 'Do You Feel Like We Do'_.

I winked at her and nodded quickly. Who the fuck wouldn't approve of this shit? Music wasn't like _this _anymore. This was the original. He didn't use a voice box to make his guitar _'talk'_, like so-called rock bands did these days... That shit, back then, it was real. Peter Frampton fucking rocked back then, and still rocks today.

As she was bobbing her head, her long, curly hair flowed across her shoulders, toward the v-neck cut in her dress shirt. Now I ain't gonna lie. Edward's mother is a MILF times ten. And the sad part was, she had Edward at such a young age that she was not much older than me.

I know the motherfucker would kill me if I ever touched his mother. But that didn't stop from fantasizing about her every now and again... From her always manicured fingernails and pedicured toes, perfect-sized breasts, tiny waist, and an ass I could lick in all directions, to her perfect set of white teeth, petite nose, pronounced cheek bones, long lashes, and green eyes... It just didn't get much better in the MILF-parts selection categories.

She lifted her eyebrow when she noticed me staring and licking my lips, and I turned my face away to hide my laugh, trying not to grin like an asshole. I waited a moment to glance toward the wall, to see if Edward's dad, Carlisle, was going to pummel me. Surprisingly though, he didn't even seem to notice she was in the room with us at all. In fact, I wasn't sure they'd spoken once since they'd arrived at the hospital.

Fucking weird.

Alice sat in front of my legs on the floor, chewing off half her fingernails as she continued to write in her journal. I caught glimpses and tiny peeks of her scribbles when she wasn't covering the journal with her arm. She was basically writing about her future, what she wanted to do, what her dream list consisted of. I wasn't sure why, but it made me nervous when I saw her writing it. I felt like something serious was coming, when it came to Alice, or maybe Alice and myself... I didn't like it.

Maybe it sounds sick and needy, but lately, she'd been the only person I had to talk to about shit. She's been a wonderful friend to me. And, she gets how I am and has never, not once, told me I should force myself to be something I'm not in order to please everyone else. It made me sad when I thought about her one day moving out of my house. All my friends seemed to be moving on to 'bigger' and 'better' things, and I felt like I was stuck, and not sure if I wanted to change and grow up so fast. I'm only in my mid-twenties. I shouldn't be forced to have everything figured out yet.

Most people hit fifty and still ain't got shit figured out.

I sighed, switching the song. Maybe I have a chemical imbalance that made me think of the worse possible outcomes. Who the hell knows any more. My whole life seemed to be heading off the rocker.

As I was fiddling with my iPod, I glanced up and caught Rosalie looking at me, while Jake's arm stretched across her lap. She quickly veered her eyes away, but in that brief moment, she looked like she'd been thinking really hard about something. I kept my eyes on her face, and it didn't take two seconds before she trailed her eyes up from Alice, who was still sitting on the floor between my legs with her back against the seat of my chair, up my body, to my face. As soon as she noticed I caught her this time, she looked away, then back at me, and held my gaze.

I raised my left eyebrow slowly, then looked to my right, then back at her.

Her eyes followed, motioning the same way.

I nodded.

She gave me a nod back, then moved Jake's arm off of her, before kissing his cheek, standing up, and walking down the hall.

I waited a few minutes, so no one thought we were sneaking off. Okay, we were, but not to fuck... unless that was her plan.

I'm not sure I'd say no if it were. A blast from the past never hurt anyone when people didn't find out, after all.

I handed Esme my iPod and made my way down the hall, finding Rosalie with her elbows on the rail, leaning over to look at the first and second stories opened up below us. I slid in beside her and exhaled, before turning to look at her.

"What's up?" she asked, not looking back at me.

"What's up with you?"

"Nothing much. Just waiting, obviously. You?"

"Same. Trying not to sexually assault Edward's mother."

She shook her head, laughing under her breath. "You sure don't change, do you Emmett?"

"Why conform? I like being original."

"That you are," she replied. "Have you noticed any... tension in the waiting room?"

"Dude, that shit is so thick, we couldn't cut through it with a hack saw. It's coming from all directions."

"I know! I wonder what the deal is."

"I'm not sure... I first noticed it with Colleen and Jasper when we got there... then with Aimee when she told us that she wasn't Bella and Edward's nurse anymore. Then it was Esme and Carlisle, a little from Alice because she feels so uncomfortable. And it just kept ricocheting around like a damn ping pong ball bouncing off windows."

Rosalie scoffed and shook her head. "You'd think that with everything you and I went through, as quickly as it came and went, that we'd be the hostile ones."

"Surprisingly, I don't despise you today, Rose."

"Oh gee, thanks."

I nodded, glancing over the balcony. "How's things with scruffy boy?"

"Wonderful."

"Yeah? Thinking about tying the knot?"

She looked at me for a moment, then shifted her eyes back to the nurse at the welcome desk below us. "Doubtful. Jake's younger than me. He's not ready for anything like that."

"I don't blame him. I'm older than he is, and I don't know what I want either. Life's too fucking hard. There's too much important shit to decide. I say fuck it all, and one day, it'll decide for itself."

"That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard anyone say."

"Yeah, well, it beats trying to rush into a marriage and having a child just because friends in my age bracket are doing it. I ain't ready for any of that shit."

"What if you found the right girl?"

"When I find the right _woman_, then she'll be ready when I'm ready, and she'll wait for me, or... at _least_, she won't push me to move forward until I'm ready to willingly go along with her."

She swallowed hard, clicking her fingernails together, "...Do you really think life turns out that way?"

I shrugged. "Who am I to say? All I know is what's right for me, and I tell ya... After seeing Edward panic for a second when Bella had that problem earlier... I know I ain't ready for any of the adult shit he's taking on today... I mean, I never imagined my best buddy getting married, settling down, and having a kid this early. Not even a year ago, the man was wild and free, doing a whole lot of careless shit."

"I used to hate Edward so much," she replied with an annoyed smile. "I really did. I wasn't sure what it was about him, but after he and Bella split, I just despised him. I wanted to kill him so bad. There were quite a few times where Bella would beg and plead for me not to go after him... But... after we got the cabin and he and my sister turned into...whatever they did... Bella begged me until I gave him a chance, and I quickly realized that he wasn't going anywhere whether I liked it or not. So I stopped with my bitch-face, got a chance to get to know him again, and I have to say... Edward's come a long way. He looks at my sister sometimes and..."

She closed her eyes, looking a bit pained. "As selfish as this may sound, it breaks my heart to know that there's a love so deep like that out there, this sickening, _my life cannot evolve without you beside me_ sort of love, and... it makes me feel angry for everyone else in the world who may never have a chance to get that type, and are forced to settle with whatever's left."

I studied her for a moment, surprised that she was being so open with me. _Me_. Her 'ex', if you want to call it that.

We hadn't talked like this since that one night in the cabin, when she and I stayed up all night and talked for hours, and we were just getting to know each other.

"So," I said softly, "...are you worried that you haven't found that love yet?"

"No," she replied shyly, but with certainty. Then Rosalie exhaled slowly, "I'm not sure if Jake has."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... he's amazing. And he acts like I light up his sky at night, but... I just worry. It all seems too easy when it comes to me and him. I know what I want, but I'm unsure of if he's ready to take the next step... and I'd never want to push it on him, like you said earlier."

"I was talking about me."

"I know, but still... you had a point."

"Sometimes you have to go for it though. I'm not sure of what you want your guys' next step to be, but what would it hurt if you talked to him about it?"

"What if he turned me down when I asked him?"

"Then if you really love him, you'll try to understand, and you'll wait for him," I replied. "Do you? Love him, I mean?"

She nodded silently.

"Then you know what to do."

After a minute, she turned to me, looking puzzled. "It's strange, talking to you about this, about me and another guy... But, not so uncomfortable, like I would have imagined."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Most women find me easy to talk to. You... Alice... Bella... Heather... Anyone, really. I may not be in a hurry to rush out into the street and find what all of you guys have or want. But when it comes to women, I understand your feelings. I watched my father disrespect my mother, verbally abuse us since I was seven years old, just because he had the power and could do it. But I never treated my mother disrespectfully. I cared for her. I saw her crying most nights, and I learned a lot about how to listen to a woman and get an understanding of what she's going through."

I took a deep breathe before continuing. "Because women have it tougher than men, and that's the truth. No bullshit. You guys deal with a lot, and you get blamed for a lot, and mistreated all the time. But you stay strong, you know? Just like my mother did, and... she taught me a lot. I may be a fuck-up when it comes to some things. But when it's about getting my bills paid on time, owning my own shit, graduating from school, listening to women, and understanding their problems... I think I got that all down pat."

She nodded and ran her fingers through her long, blonde, wavy locks. "You do. I'll give you that much."

"Thanks."

"Now only if the rest of your meat-headed brain could catch up with that slight progress."

I rolled my eyes and pushed off the railing. "We'd better get back before your scruffy boytoy thinks you're blowing me in the broom closet."

She nodded, walking a few steps ahead of me. "Yeah, that'd go over well. Shall I start taking everyone's bids, asking their thoughts on who'd throw the first punch?"

"Oh, I'd let him get in one good hit on me before I pummeled his ass."

"Keep dreaming."

"You know your man can't bring the heat like I can."

"Oh no, he brings the heat, the thunder, _and _the wind. He's the whole package."

"At least my package is bigger."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I knew it wouldn't be long before Bella hit ten centimeters, so I confirmed with Bella that she still wanted only me and her mother in the room with her, which she still did.

Going to get Renee and bring her back was quite the experience. When I told her it was about to happen, a wave of emotions went through her. First she popped up out of her seat. Then she kept walking back and forth, going back to her bag, gathering things like Rosalie's camera and a video camera, then batteries, then something else. Then her chin started to quiver. Then she started to just straight-out fucking giggle. Her eyes were watering and everything.

I tilted my head down to her and patted her shoulder. "You going to be okay?"

"Yeah," she laughed, wiping her eyes, "I'm fine. I just never thought I'd hear 'it's time', and have it mean my own daughter... My baby's going to have a baby."

"Rather quickly," I nodded, trying not to show my impatience, "so we best be mo-"

"Okay, okay, one minute," she waved air in front of her face, calming herself down. "You'll understand one day, when you're a parent.. which is shortly. Oh God, it's shortly. You're about to be a father. My daughter is about to be a mother."

"Yes." _Let's go, let's go, let's go._

She giggled again and cleared her throat, shaking her head and waving her hands, "I'm fine, I'm fine. Wow, overload of thoughts and emotions."

"Bella's overloaded as well, which is why we need to be in there..." I began to pull her again and she nodded, but her entire body was shaking. "Are you sure you're going to be able to handle this? Bella wants you to film over her shoulder, no graphic images... You're trembling..." _And you're the parent here, but I'm the one worrying_...

"No, no, I'm fine," she insisted, taking a deep breath. Then she calmed down. "Let's go."

We smiled as people wished us good luck. Walking down the hall with my mother-in-law, realizing that these were the last few moments that I was Edward... It was surreal. It was as if I went from being "Carlisle's son and Esme's baby," to "Edward Cullen", to a slew of unhealthy expletives, to "Bella's husband", and now... soon... to "Daddy".

_Daddy_.

Holy shit.

I took a deep breath as we rounded the corner and there she was, my beautiful wife, listening intently to the instructions Anna and Bree were giving her while Aubrey got ready, with her blues, gloves, table, lights, everything else. My mind was fucking spinning.

I heard,_ this is it, this is it, this is it, this is it_... But all I felt was, _this isn't real, this isn't real, this isn't real...._

It's fucking crazy when it's happening to you and not a patient. The anticipation, the lingering... no longer being in control. That's the worst of it for me, the control factor. I can't do anything to help besides comfort. It all has to happen on its own. I fucking _hated _that part.

But it's life. And life always has rewards, whether you're temporarily blinded by circumstances or not.

I grabbed Bella's hands and kissed the top of her head, the side of her cheek, and her lips. "How are you feeling? What are you thinking?"

She nodded, shrugging her shoulders. "Good, but I'm not really sure, really."

"She's fully dilated, one hundred percent effaced," Anna confirmed again, as Renee stepped around Bella and I, holding both the video camera and the digital. Anna studied the monitor, checking the printout of the contractions carefully. "Alright, they're coming right on top of each other now." I cringed at the thought of how much pain she should be in. She smiled up at us. "Looks like we're just about ready to go." She turned to confirm as much with Aubrey.

Bella took a deep breath and looked at me, giving me a reassuring smile. Showing me she was okay. "You look so handsome in your scrubs," she said out of nowhere, trying, most likely, to not freak out over what was happening. "Your eyes really pop with the greens."

I chuckled and ran my fingers through her hair, as I studied the nurses every move around us. I wanted to make sure no one fucked anything up.

Aubrey came over as they were pulling out the stirrups, and patted Bella on her knees. "Okay, sweetheart, hanging in there?"

Bella nodded.

"Ready to give the newest Mr. Cullen his first glance at the big, wide world?"

Bella nodded again, her beautiful eyes determined. My heart was beating ninety miles an hour, my throat thickened, making it difficult for me to swallow, and my entire body turned clammy. Again, this was different than a patient. Much different. This was _my _everything, all at once, right here, right now.

I closed my eyes and kissed Bella's hair again, before winding my arm beneath her, so I could help her sit up a little. I was thankful she chose to do the epidural earlier. I think this would have been the moment I would have, unfortunately, passed out if she were in any severe pain. That would have been the final straw.

After the equipment was set up, sterile drapes set around, garments and gloves attached, the warmer checked, and everyone calmed their movements around us, Aubrey instructed Bella as Anna grabbed one knee and Bree grabbed the other. "Okay Bella," I whispered, because I knew she'd listen to me before anyone else, "we're going to do a test push, see where your controls are. I want you to listen to Doctor Sherber, and when she tells you to stop, stop, and when she tells you to go, go, all right, love? I'm right here with you, all the way."

"Yes. Okay," she agreed, blinking as I lifted her back up more with my right arm. I wrapped my other hand around Bella's left ankle, giving her the support she would need to push our son into the world. Anna stepped aside, allowing me the room I needed, while she went to stand behind Aubrey and assist her.

"Alright, sweetheart, I want you to tuck your chin into your chest, and push toward your bottom, okay? After the test push, this may be a one-step forward, two-steps back kind of process. There isn't a need to get discouraged. You have a great support team, a wonderful coach in your husband, and I promise you, everything is going to be okay. The stronger and longer you push, the quicker Masen comes out. Just listen to my instructions, and remember to keep breathing. You might feel some pressure while I'm here, all right? I'm checking progress."

"I'm ready," Bella stated.

"Okay, push hard, and Doctor Cullen?"

Snapping my head toward her, "Yeah?"

She grinned, "Start counting now."

I kept my voice calm, "One..... Two..... Three, doing good... Four, that's it, baby... Five..... Six..... Seven, perfect... Eight..... Nine.... Ten, good!"

I blew out a gust of wind along with Bella, keeping myself in check.

"Perfect Bella," Aubrey encouraged, as we adjusted Bella so she'd be more comfortable, and make better progress. "You're doing fantastic. Now, from now on, when I tell you, do it just like that, okay? Strong, powerful pushes, right down here where my hands are, all right?"

Bella nodded, squeezing my arm tighter with her one free hand, which was curled around my arm that was wrapped around her leg. Aubrey took a glance at me and I gave her a wink to let her know that I was fine and ready to go. All I heard in my head was, _Masen's coming, Masen's coming, Masen's coming_....

I pushed my face toward Bella's ear and whispered, "I love you baby, you ready?"

"Yes."

"Okay, let's do this.... And, one..... two..... three..... four, that's it.... five..... six...... seven..... eight..... perfect...... and......... ten, blow out."

It seemed as if every time she held her breath, I was holding mine too. I kissed her on the cheek while everyone gave words of encouragement and kept her legs relaxed and curled up.

"You're so beautiful," I reminded her, in case she forgot, because I certainly didn't. "Look at you, doing this... Wow, angel. You're doing fantastic."

Bella nodded, eating up every word I said like it was her last meal, "Okay... okay..."

I brushed the hair off the back of her neck, while Aubrey informed Bella that she could see Masen's hair.

Holy shit.

Masen's hair. _My _son. Hair.

Fuck.

This really _was _it. There really is a baby. It's there. It's real. She can touch his fucking hair.

My neck grew hot and it took everything in me to stay calm, instead of pushing my face in Bella's neck and making her cuddle with me. Because this is when she became stronger than I was. I was too busy mentally freaking out, while outwardly, encouraging her and telling her everything was perfectly wonderful.

My brain would not stop. I heard myself counting to Bella, watching her push, glancing from her face to Aubrey's hands... But inside, my wheels were turning and turning faster than ever before. This was the ultimate high for me. It was as if my entire existence was being mapped out in front of me, moment by moment... all leading up to this. Flashes of my life before this...

Images of me running across the grass when I was a child when my hair was more blonde than bronzed, being swooped up in my mother's arms, nurtured and tucked in at night... Kisses on the cheek, moments of giggles and cookies and crying with scraped knees... Getting older, looking awkward, growing into my looks. Playing sports in school, baseball, basketball, tennis, gaining friends, moving to Forks, starting over. Seeing Bella for the very first time in that hallway freshman year, noticing her perfect blush, the curve of her neck... Lab partners, friends, laughter, music, phone calls at night... Anticipation... Asking her out, our first kiss and the way we lingered there before we met in the middle... Growing older, getting closer, crossing boundaries, sneaking away at night, climbing into her bedroom window, meeting her on an empty street... Back at the cabin, her birthday, the first time we tried to make love, our fights, being ripped apart and heart broken after the split...

The flashes of me without her happened all too quick for me to grasp, but I noticed that in every single one of them, my expression was the same... frowning and broken... Then she was there again, and I saw her, and then I could touch her... and I could breathe. We made up and then were laughing... There was that pull, that jealousy, that undeniable force... the car crash, her running to my arms, choosing me over Jasper... The first time we made love and created Masen... the bickering... becoming friends... the passion... the pull... the gravity... Closer.... Asking Bella to marry me... Running off together. Moving back to Seattle, the adjustments, saying _'I Do', _the rings, the promises, our honeymoon in Maldives… me swimming with her in the ocean... More smiles... more laughter... Listening to her breathing as our bodies connected... Raw and passionate... Lingering on her every word, her every breath, her multiple smiles, drowning in her eyes... Buying our house, decorating the nursery, selling my car...

...Everything that flashed across my face led to this moment.

My emotions became a whirlwind, a tornado, and as I saw a slight glimpse of my son's hair... just his _hair_... that's when everything before _this _meant absolutely nothing. Now it was for him. This moment was for my son. It all hit me, overtook me, like a tsunami. _I _didn't matter anymore. It didn't matter if I died this very second. I could leave this world now, with absolutely no fears, no worries about where I'd go after death, because... this was it. My legacy was going to go on. Bella was my soulmate, and she and I made a new life that was about to come... She and I, with our love and our struggles and our sacrifices and our faith... We made him, and he was coming to meet us, to stay with us, to push us even closer and fuse us for eternity.

He was what we earned. Our love, our pain... he was our reward. My reward.

"Give me one more strong push Bella, the head is almost out!" Aubrey shouted as they adjusted the sheets on my wife's stomach.

My smile stretched from ear to ear as I watched my wife, in all her strength and power, giving all she had.

This was her sacrifice, her moment to shine.

And she was taking it.

Bella squirmed and blew out a gust, taking a few short breaths, in and out, in and out, faster as she panted. I matched her pant for pant, our bodies as in tune as our hearts in that moment. I felt myself being torn in two, or maybe it wasn't torn at all... No, no it wasn't.

It was being stretched... My love, right here, in this second, was growing before my eyes... Not being divided. No, I'd never love Bella any less... It took eight years for my relationship with Bella to get to where we were. Yes, love at first sight, yet all the while my love growing more intense every second of every hour... But now, it was being _shared_... growing…expanding to envelop another person, in a matter of seconds. Not years, not days, not hours, or minutes... _seconds_, if even that. I felt _him_, the tug in my heart, the gravity, so similar to that pull that only happens around Bella. Now I was being pulled in two directions at once, to both her heart, and his, simultaneously...

That's what his heart was... our two hearts combined.

"Push Bella, good girl! Keep pushing, keep pushing, that's it, that's it, push, push, push, push!" I watched as his head pushed out, and then Aubrey said, "Okay, daddy, you're up. Come on, Doctor Cullen. Come get your baby and be the first to welcome him!"

I glanced over at Bella and she nodded quickly, focusing on her breathing. I slipped her hand into Renee's as she took over my position, and then I ran over to where Aubrey stood, slapping gloves on so fast that I didn't even blink. This was it.

THIS WAS IT.

Masen's head was there and _I _was reaching out to him, the first person in the history of the world to greet him, my child. It almost felt unfair, that I was undeserving. But I never wanted anything more than I did right now.

"Stop pushing baby," I said as his head fully emerged, "That's it, just breathe. There you go, good girl...."

Anna handed me the bulb syringe so I could suction out his mouth and his nose, and then Aubrey told her to give one final push.

Time stood still for me at that moment. I didn't breathe. Very carefully, I applied downward pressure while she pushed, and watched as his front shoulder came. As soon as his upper arm appeared, I lifted his head gently, waiting for the rear shoulder. It came out in no time at all, and the next thing I realized, my baby was in my hands, and the body and the feet were revealed to me. I turned him down toward the ground as he fully emerged, and everyone cheered, and Bella relaxed, and there he was.

_There he was._

Everyone around me began to cry. Bella, her mother, a few of the nurses... it was overwhelming.

In that second, time was immeasurable. It was as if it didn't exist at all, as if it never existed before this. There he was, alive, in my hands, given to me by my Bella, the one person in this entire world that ever meant anything to me, and it was as if a blazing light came across my face, and warmed my entire being. As if I'd been dead all these years. Today, September 6th, at 6:45 in the morning, my life took on new meaning.

I didn't want to let him go as I untangled the cord. I wanted to protect him, instantly, from everything and everyone around. I knew exactly what it meant to be a parent, in one single second of holding him. What undeniable love meant, what destiny meant, what miracles were.

It only took a small tap on his left heel with my finger, and he was crying...

_Sound._

The most beautiful, unsung melody given by the grace of God himself rang through my ears and sent shivers down my spine and into the core of my being. Hearing him was what brought the first smile to my face, what broke me, forced the first tear to slide down my cheek. I cleaned out the rest of the film, and Aubrey helped me hold him while I beamed proudly and cut the umbilical cord that connected him to his mother. Now he was free. He was all right. He was safe.

It was okay for me to let him go for a second.

I couldn't blink as I placed him on my wife's chest for her to hold, and everyone started wiping him down, cleaning him well. As I lay my son on her beautiful body, I felt like I was literally handing over my life's happiness, so it could be shared with her. I _wanted _to share him with her, with _only _her. He was _ours_. He wailed for a few more seconds while they wiped his beautiful skin clean, and she was laughing and crying and radiating waves of perfect bliss as she touched his face with her fingers.

After she said her hellos and happy birthdays and told him she loved him, I had to take him back. It pained me, because I knew taking him from her arms would pain her. I kissed her forehead, then her eyes. "We just need to get him fixed up," I reassured her. "He'll be right back though. Love you."

He was swept off to the warmer, to get a more-thorough cleaning and have his lungs suctioned completely. As the delivering physician, I gave his 1-minute APGAR, assessing his appearance, heartbeat, grimace, activity, and respiration. His initial score was good, an 8. He was a very calm baby, very little crying at all, so he had not quite reached that lovely shade of baby-pink we doctors like to see… one point off each for appearance and activity. ...Though, let it be said it was the last time a Cullen man _ever _lacked where appearance was concerned, if I may say so myself.

All things considered, I took it and thanked Heaven above.

And I'll say it again... this entire damn world took on new meaning when I listened to his heartbeat. It's an unthinkable, unimaginable moment, to fantasize about it... but once it's there, in your ears...

"Wow," I whispered with a crooked grin, shaking my head slowly. "I'm your Daddy..."

While Bree and I worked on my son, Aubrey and Anna finished with Bella, delivering the placenta, making sure she was okay. They cleaned her up as well, brought in new bedding, dressed her in some fresh clothes and absorbency pads. After Masen received a stimulating rub-down from us, it was time to measure and weigh him. At thirty-eight weeks and two days, he came out at six pounds, nine ounces, and twenty-one inches long. We took his footprints, attached the identifying band to both his ankle and Bella's and my wrists (physical, readable proof that he _was _ours, which melted my heart even more), and placed a baby blue cap upon his head... over his light-colored hair.

"He has light hair," I informed Bree with a smile. "I had white-blonde hair when I was born too, until I was around two or three, when my hair turned dark... Just like my father."

She smiled and rubbed my back, as she helped me wrap him up into a burrito baby. I applied the ointment to his eyes, giving them a few extra seconds to clear. I wanted Bella to see them clearly, to see if she saw herself in his eyes…in my eyes. Though the were the blue of every newborn, the bright green rings around the irises made it clear that my son and I would have at least that in common. Both of us would adore Bella with our emerald eyes.

I carried him over to her and she smiled, tears in her soft caramel eyes, making them almost golden.

"Here you are, sweetheart," I whispered as I tucked him safely in her waiting arms. "Masen Anthony Cullen... this is your mother."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

My heart was about to explode, I was sure of it. I had never felt an emotion this strong before.

I don't even know if I could call it _love_. Though I never said anything to Edward, I had been scared throughout my pregnancy that I wouldn't be able to love Masen enough. Edward had been my entire life for eight years. Together or apart, he had taken up and carried my entire heart, always. From the moment I spotted him in that hallway with his beanie cap and his cocky grin. _How would I have room in my heart for my son, when his father had always owned it?_

But now, I knew…. this feeling, this explosion waiting to happen…_this _was how.

I realized I didn't have to love Edward less, because that was impossible. But my heart, it could grow, it could make room so that I could love them both enough. I had felt it as soon as Edward laid Masen on my chest. My poor baby was cold and confused. Who wouldn't be? Immediately, I had wound my arms around his tiny form, wrapping him in the towel they had laid him on.

"Hello Masen, my little baby, my boy," I choked out while tears streamed from my eyes. "Happy birthday, Little Man." Time stilled, the pain vanished, and all I could do was stare at this magnificent being that Edward and I had created together. He quieted some and one eye popped open. A giggle tore from my throat. He looked like an old man pirate, all wrinkly and squooshed. But, in his left eye, I saw the most beautiful sight. I saw his father. Masen, with his blondish hair and baby blue eyes, would grow up to be strong and beautiful, just like his daddy.

Edward kissed my forehead, and then each of my eyes. "We just need to get him fixed up... he'll be right back though. Love you." And then my son was lifted from my arms, and for a moment I felt lost. I felt as if my heart was being physically removed from my chest and carried across the room. Knowing that it was being done by the loving arms of his father was the _only _thing that kept me in the bed.

I knew I should have been paying attention while Doctor Sherber tended to me, stitching me where Masen's head had been just a little to big to fit without help, massaging my stomach to make sure they got all of the placenta out. She was telling me about how to proceed, when to start walking, how to care for myself. As if _I _was important in that moment. Not at all. Not anymore. My eyes were locked on my husband's broad shoulders, and the glimpses of my son I could get around them.

Edward had been amazing. Yeah, sure, there were times I had seen a trace of panic behind his eyes, but he never let me feel it. He was right there, supporting me, taking care of me... He climbed in the bed with me earlier just to make me feel safe... And through the delivery, all I heard was his voice, his counting. Felt his presence. That's what kept me motivated.

Watching him actually deliver our son into this world had been, hands down, the single most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. As soon as Masen's body cleared mine, Edward's eyes locked with mine, and the love and the passion that I saw blazing there….I had _never _been so proud in my life. I gave him that. I gave him his son…_our son_.

And then the undeniable love that I saw in his eyes as he approached so slowly, holding our son securely in his strong hands…. I forgot to breathe… I _couldn't _breathe. It was like a warm wind, surrounding us and wrapping us in a cocoon of absolute bliss. Edward placed Masen in the crook of my arm. "Here you are, sweetheart. Masen Anthony Cullen... this is your mother."

"We've met, " I smiled, eyes bouncing from my husband to my son.

I couldn't help but giggle when I rested my eyes on him. "You're so serious, Masen." I was amazed at the fact that he lay there peacefully, just watching my face. I recognized the look on his face immediately. I had seen it a few times in Edward's expression when he'd be home after work and was puzzling out some particularly difficult case at the hospital. _Oh yes, Masen was a thinker, like his father_. While I stared into his eyes, watching him contemplate this new huge world, I _swore _I saw the corner of his mouth crook into his father's favorite smile. My favorite. I shook my head, knowing he couldn't be grinning yet. But, still… I'd know that smile anywhere... and it was there. I knew it. It was our little secret. Our first one.

And, for the millionth time since Masen's birth, my heart exploded again.

Edward half sat, half leaned on the edge of the bed, pressing against my side. He had one hand buried in my hair and one hand with its' long fingers brushing Masen's face and little frame so gently. Our eyes met, and I dug into Masens blanket pulling out his tiny hands. Together, we counted ten perfect long beautiful fingers. Edward and I giggled like first graders would over the newest, coolest toy. Edward took Masen's weight in his hands and I unwrapped the bottom of the blanket. Ten perfect toes graced little kicking feet

I saw Edward's eyes dart slightly north on our son's little body. All the parts a little boy should have peeked out from under the blanket's edge. Edward's grin, if possible, got even bigger. "Yes, sir. That _is _my boy," he whispered quietly. I laughed out loud, catching everyone's attention, and Doctor Sherber and the nurses just looked on in awe.

"Thank you, Bella," Edward's eyes were bright and there were tear tracks on his cheeks. "Thank you for bringing Masen into the world, for giving me the two best gifts on Earth… one I always wanted and one I never thought I'd have. I love you so much, beautiful, always." He planted a soft kiss on my lips, and then moved to my cheek.

"Two best gifts?" I wondered out loud, cocking an eyebrow at him.

"Your heart and our son," he breathed, his eyes again locked on Masen's quiet features.

"Which one is which?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Both, Bella," he replied calmly. "You are each both. I've wanted you, wanted this _with _you, from the time I was fifteen. But, for the longest time, I feared I had lost the chance to ever have something this incredible in my life... I never saw this kind of future without you in it. Didn't want it. Yes, I always thought of children. But, I couldn't ever think about having children with anyone but _you _Bella. So, I had pretty much accepted that it wasn't going to happen. And now I have the _both _of you… I …" He swallowed thickly, and shook his head, "...I can't tell you how amazing this feels."

I leaned my forehead to his, at an absolute loss for words. There were none to express the moment. So, I pressed into him, both of us gazing at our beautiful boy, and prayed that, in this moment, he knew that I felt exactly the same.

After what felt like an eternity of silent awe, I giggled again, realizing we weren't alone in the room. "Mom, do you want to hold your grandson?" Renee had been standing to the side, trying to avoid the rush of clean up. Tears streamed down her face as well, from the moment she came in and tried to steady a video camera to... well, she's still crying.

"I'd better go bare the official news to the rest of the crew," Edward chimed with a grin. "Time to go announce your arrival, son… _Son_."

I saw a look of utter awe on my husband's face and once again felt a surge of pride.

Edward charged headlong for the door while my mother took his place beside me. As I placed Masen into her waiting arms, I felt a pang of fear, letting my little boy away from me. It was, at the same time, the most irrational and most primal feeling I had ever had. I shook my head a little to clear it, giggling at the uproar I heard in the hallway. Emmett's voice rose above the rest. Though I couldn't quite make out his words, I was pretty sure, I probably didn't want to either.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I let out a gust of wind as I walked out of room, allowing the cool breeze of the central air that I didn't feel in the room chill my face.

In my green scrubs and shoes, I skidded and squeaked down the hall, grinning from ear to ear.

Emmett was the first to see me when I rounded the corner, followed shortly by Esme, Paul, and Dean.

Emmett ran toward me, thrusting his index finger toward me, "Edward _mother-fucking_ Cullen.... You _ARE _the father!"

"Fuck yeah, I am!" I shouted, suddenly feeling the urge to run toward him because I was so happy.

"WHO'S YOUR DADDY!" Dean and Paul shouted as the three of them greeted me and gave me hugs.

"The pimp has become a daddy!"

"No, he's the mac daddy!"

Everyone else cheered as I told them it was indeed a handsome boy from the muffles of my friends shirts as they slapped me on my back. I hadn't had this many embraces all at once since my senior graduation.

My mother kissed all over my face, because that's what mother's do, while my father shook my hand and patted me on my arm.

My grandfather threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him, messing up my hair that looked identical to his at the moment and smiling proudly. I could see the water forming in his eyes, and it made me even happier. He was, like me, not necessarily ashamed of his tears, but not always willing to show them either.

I kissed him on his cheek, before Alyssa ran at me and grabbed my legs, despite Colleen's shouts for her to wait a minute and to be patient.

I swooped her up and threw her in the air and she started shouting and squealing, "What's he wook wike, what tis his name?!"

"He looks like a handsome, smudgy, warm old man, and his name is Masen."

"How dold is he?"

"Not even an hour old yet. He's a newborn, he just came in to see us!"

She wrapped her arms around my neck. "Tan I do see him now-wa?"

I kissed her cheek. "Sure thing. Everyone can, that's why I came out here to get you guys."

"YAY!" She clapped her hands, almost slapping in the face with the back of her hand because she became so excited. Colleen reached out for her and she fought against her at first, trying to push herself into my chest, but after her mother raised her eyebrow and tapped her foot, Alyssa knew she better listen to what she said, and went willingly into her arms. She didn't want to be disciplined. Colleen did a damn good job at raising her, and knowing she was so young when she did it gave me more hope for the care of my own son.

As we were all walking, I threw my arm around my mom's waist and whispered for her to dry her eyes or she wouldn't be able to see the baby. She laughed and nudged my elbow, shaking her head as she wiped her face. All of our friends and family piled into Bella's room, and the nurses cleared out to make way. We had a lot of support.

Everyone oooh'd and awe'd, cooing over my handsome child laying peacefully in his mother's arms and blinking silently up at her. Most of the women covered their mouths as they stared, while the men just grinned and nodded. Esme was the first to reach out to him, to touch his face. Then the tears started coming again.

I turned and grinned at my father, who gave me a wink and a grin. I wasn't sure if this was surreal to him and he wasn't sure how to handle this, or what the case was, but something was off with him. He seemed almost stand-offish. Like he didn't want to step too close. Sure, he seemed proud, but... I just felt it.

I tried not to let him get me down as I caressed the top of Bella's head and grinned over at my mother. "He looks almost identical to Edward when he was a baby," she cooed, rubbing her nose on him. "Maybe a bit pudgier, but that's okay because we love pudgy cheeks! But... this blonde hair... the green around the edge of the iris'... that pouty mouth... Look Edward, his bottom lip is fuller than his top, just like yours."

I beamed and rubbed my mother's back, "That's good. Makes the best kissing lips. Girls are going to love him."

"Okay, let's not talk about that," Bella giggled, shaking her head. "He's not even an hour old yet!"

"Oh come on, look at him!" I pointed out, as Masen blinked up at Esme. "He's a natural flirt. He's going to seriously... We're going... Masen... " I became baffled, shaking my head, overwhelmed by the moment as I smiled. "He's staying locked up in his room until he's thirty."

Our mother's laughed as Renee said, "Yeah we tried that with you two, and you haven't even made it to twenty-five yet, and look at where we are!"

"That's because Edward couldn't keep it in his pants," Emmett teased, leaning over my mom's shoulder to see him.

"No, that's because Bella couldn't keep her hands _out _of my pants," I cracked, causing people to laugh harder and Renee to shoot me a warning glance. But she was smiling, so I knew I wasn't about to be castrated. Yet.

"Look, dude," Emmett chuckled, wiggling Masen's hand which was wrapped around his finger, "dude's got a firm grip... Maybe he'll take care of himself and girls won't be necessary."

"Let's hope!" Victor grinned, patting me on the back.

It was weird and fun to be here, joking around about this, making light of some of our own decisions. I didn't take offense to it at all, it was humorous. Strange how things change...

"Edward, I guarantee you are going to find him a little baseball outfit, hmm?" Dean asked.

I nodded. "Already have him a little onesie with snaps. It's Cubs, but that's the only one I could find. I can settle on it for now."

Bella raised her hand and rubbed my stomach, as Masen was passed gently over to Rosalie, his appointed Godmother. She smiled quietly, as she brushed his soft head, "I think he's perfect."

"Thank you," Bella replied gently with an adorable smile.

Jake wrapped his arms around Rosalie's waist and gave me a kind nod, "Good job, man. He looks good."

"Thanks," I replied generously.

I noticed Alice standing way off in the distance, behind Jasper and Colleen, looking over their shoulders. I felt a piece of me grow momentarily sad, because this was something I definitely thought of sharing with my friends, and the thought of her being uninvolved bothered me.

I bent down toward Bella and rubbed the back of her neck, as I whispered in her ear, "Babe, Alice is here."

Bella's eyes opened and she quickly started peering around, trying to find her, a smile on her face.

"Behind Jasper."

She cocked her neck and saw Alice, and Alice quickly moved back, as if she were worried. "Alice," Bella said calmly, trying not to steer everyone's attention from Masen.

Alice bit her lip, unsure of what to say.

Bella quickly motioned her hands for Alice to come forward, and at first she declined, but after several attempts from my stubborn wife, Alice slowly walked behind everyone, toward Bella. I didn't know what to do or if she wanted me to be near, so I side-stepped away as Bella was handed Masen, and Alice stepped in.

"What do you think?" Bella asked kindly as she batted her lashes up at Alice.

Alice smiled, and I noticed the tears forming as she nodded, trying to force words out. "I... h-he's amazing, Bella. I'm really proud of you... Wow...."

"Thank you for coming." Bella patted her hand. "It means a lot to Edward and me."

Alice nodded and played with Masen's fingers for a moment, giving me a short smile, which I returned. Then she excused herself so Jasper and Colleen could come in closer. "Oh my GOSH!" Colleen said as she picked him up, "Bella... truth! You done well for yourself..."

"Thank you," Bella giggled, blushing.

"Seriously... he's... _perfect_! I just love him so much!" She exhaled, trying to control herself. "You're going to have the best Aunt ever in me... I'm going to spoil you rotten!"

Jasper nodded, fiddling with the cover around him, "He's handsome."

I bent down and kissed the side of Bella's neck, making her blush intensify.

She turned her face into me and whispered softly against my cheek, "I think they're fucking."

I cocked my head to her and raised my eyebrow, because in a moment like this, I didn't expect Bella to say that... but then again, she's Bella, so it made perfect sense. I kissed her ear and whispered back, "I do too... We'll talk about it later."

"Okay."

"Oh that reminds me, Bella, I called the office and Ryan to let them know you delivered okay. Mr. Coleberry said he's sending you some flowers and balloons, as if this room needs anymore of those, and Ryan said he'd try to make it over and see you guys when you get back home."

Bella smiled while stirring began in the pit of my stomach.

This was one of those moments when the lion inside me wanted to rile himself up and scream for Ryan not go near my fucking child or his mother. Granted, it wasn't fair, considering Aimee was working today and in the hall, and I'm sure Bella had the same feelings toward her. I hate that fucking asshole.

Bella noticed the change in my stature, so I quickly straightened myself up and kissed her cheek, "Everyone sent you roses but me. I'm an awful husband."

She pushed her face into me and caressed the back of my hair, "You're perfect."

Colleen looked around as she passed the baby to my grandfather, "Wait... Alyssa? Jazz... Where did Alyssa go?"

They began to look around as Alyssa called, "I'm over heres, mommy, on da oder side of da bed."

My father stepped away from Emmett and Dean.

Emmett grinned as he held her in his arms, where she was facing toward us and sitting on his chest, over Bella's bed, "She wanted to see him better, and I figured I was one of the taller ones in the room."

"What.... are you doing?" Colleen squealed hastily.

"I wanned to see him!"

"Get over here right now, young lady! You do not just go wandering around! I've told you about this!"

Emmett quickly sat her to her feet and Alyssa began to cry before she even made it halfway around Bella's bed.

Carlisle took her hand and helped her weave through the crowd, but Colleen pulled Alyssa's hand out of his hastily, before squatting and twisting her daughter to face her. "We are in a hospital, young lady! You know better than to move out of my sight!"

She glared from my father, to Emmett, to back to her daughter, "What if I had lost you? What if you unplugged a machine, or what if-"

"Mama I dust wanned to see him," Alyssa cried, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, "I didn't wun off, I was in da woom!"

"You listen to me when I tell you something though. I told you to stay by me and Jasper and I meant it. You scared me to death!"

"She's okay," Jasper said, trying to help, "she's all right, Colleen."

Colleen glared at him before swooping Alyssa's crying frame in her arms. "Bella, I'm sorry about this... I'm going to step outside for a second. Congratulations again, sweetie."

"Thank you," Bella replied, as Colleen held Alyssa protectively in her arms, cradling her head like a player with a football as she glanced warily around the room and glared at Emmett once more.

My stomach started its twisting action again, as I watched Jasper, my father, and then Emmett excuse themselves from the room.

But as soon as I looked down at my son, who happened to be staring at me in silence, my body calmed itself instantly.

That little boy owned me.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

_What.... the fuck._

As I ran after Colleen to apologize, I wondered to myself if there was anything against a man helping out a little girl. She wanted to see the damn baby, so I didn't think about it, and I picked her up.

What is it with women getting pissed when I hold their kids? Seriously. Was that a crime? Were their laws or something about who should pick someone up? It's not like I was trying to run off with her. What would I do with someone that tiny? I couldn't take her to a bar and get drunk with her. Couldn't go shoot pool with her.

Carlisle, being the concerned doctor first and foremost instead of appreciating the birth of his son's first child, followed us out of the room, making sure everything was okay.

I saw Colleen still cradling Alyssa at the end of the hall, toward the elevators, and Jasper trying to calm her down as he rubbed her arms. Her daughter was still crying.

I jogged over there, and the hallway seemed to stretch for miles. When I finally got to them, I swear I thought Colleen was going to explode.

"Colleen, look, I'm sorry, I just wanted to help her see the baby. She was too short-"

"It's fine," she snapped at me, tapping the glowing down button to the elevator a few more times.

"I didn't know it was going to be such a b-"

"I said it's fine."

I looked over at Jasper, who shrugged his shoulders, not really knowing how to calm her down.

He shouldn't be calming her down in the first place. He was her boyfriend's roommate. Not her boyfriend.

"Really," I mumbled, stepping closer and reaching out my hand to apologize, "I didn't know-"

Colleen moved away from me, tears in her eyes, in her daughter's eyes. "I'm sorry I snapped at you." The way she said it was guarded and I didn't believe her for a second.

I shoved my hands in my jeans pockets, pursing my lips, "Is there anything I can do, can I help-"

"Emmett, maybe Colleen needs a moment to herself with her daughter," Carlisle said, grabbing me gently by my arm. "Come on son... Let's go see Masen."

"This doesn't concern you," I said, looking at him like he was a dumb fuck. "I'm just trying to do the right thing... Edward told me a while back that Alyssa doesn't like it when most men hold her, but I forgot, and I know that's why you're upset, Colleen, but believe me-"

"You talked to Edward about my child?!"

"Uh... yeah, he's my buddy... At the wedding, he mentioned to me th-"

"This isn't Edward's child. Why does he have a say-"

"He was trying to tell me to back off, trying to protect Alyssa. I was going to ask her to dance with me at the wedding, make her laugh a little, but he was worried about how she'd react."

"Well, that's because she has a difficulty with men, okay!"

I nodded, holding my hands up to surrender, "I understand... That's why I'm coming here to apolo-"

"No, don't apologize to me, because you don't know what you're apologizing for."

"I'm... apologizing for being an insensitive asshole, apparently."

She scoffed, punching the button, "Why isn't this damn thing coming?!"

"Colleen," Carlisle said, walking around to her and a still-crying Alyssa, "why don't we have a seat, hmm?... You're looking a little clammy, I'm concerned-"

"I don't want to sit down," she replied, moving from him too. "I just want to leave, to take my daughter to bed."

"I understand and respect your decision, but you're complexion is a little pale..."

"Really, Colleen," Jasper said, nodding and motioning for her to move away from the seats, "you _are _looking blue... I don't want you to pass out on us... especially not with your daughter in your hands."

Colleen nodded, crying, pushing her face into her daughter's shirt, "I'm sorry," she whispered, shaking her head, "Mama isn't mad at you, I'm sorry baby..."

Alyssa held onto her mom's hair, hiding her face in it.

This was just confusing as fuck for me.

Who knew trying to help a child would cause this much of a catastrophe.

Jasper finally got Colleen to move enough to where Carlisle could slide a chair behind her, forcing her to sit with her daughter.

"There," he exhaled slowly, "...let's all just calm down for a second... breathe..."

I wasn't sure at this point on whether or not I fucked things up worse, or if she was just overreacting because she was a mom.

Because if that was the case, I was scared shitless of how Bella would be in a couple years when it came to her children... _Oh Christ._

I had been listening to my iPod too much. All I heard was that stupid song, that one line, over and over again, _"...Should I stay or should I go now?.... Should I stay or should I go now?" _

Colleen cleared her throat and stood up after a few moments of silence, and I backed away from them quickly, causing her to glare at me once more. She reminded me of a hunter with its' prey, as guarded as she was. I'd never seen the girl mad before. I didn't know her well, but she was seriously freaking me out with those stares. As if my name had death written all over it.

"I'm...," I whispered, shrugging my shoulders in defeat, "really sorry I upset you... I promise... I'll never touch your daughter again."

Carlisle gawked at me, his eyes saying that was the stupidest thing I had ever said, especially at a time like this.

I gawked back. Oh well. It was the truth. If picking the child up was going to cause a reaction like this, I'd rather not.

Colleen glared at me, shaking her head, "I don't want you to."

"Okay, I won't," I swallowed.

"_EVER_," she gritted through her teeth.

I nodded, looking at her like she was a little crazy.

"Don't look at me like that," she sneered as she stepped closer to me, frightening me more. "You don't get it, and you never have, and you never will."

"What is it that I don't get exactly?" I asked, backing up as she moved forward. "Why don't you fucking clarify it for me? All I did was try to give the little girl a hand up, and you act like I was getting her high or some shit. Exactly what is it I did to make me public enemy numero uno?"

"Take a look, jackass... a really close look.," she spat venom angrily, hitting the button on the elevator.

I stared at her daughter, trying to figure out if she was going to dumb things down for me in a way that her batshit crazy mother obviously wasn't capable of. Alyssa's eyes were swollen, and that's all I noticed. Tears and puffy cheeks. "Uhh...-"

She scoffed, "Look at her dimples! Look at her hair color, her eye color, her cheeks, that _grin_! When you've finally learned enough math to put two and two together, give me a call. Or better yet, don't."

I stood there staring from the girl to her mother. As she twisted around to step into the elevator, something clicked.

I threw my arm out to block the closing doors. "What the ..."

I stopped, suddenly very aware of three-year-old ears and very familiar looking baseball-sized eyes. " What are you..."

"SHE'S YOURS!"

A ding sounded against my hand, because I was holding the door open with those two inside the glass elevator, and Jasper and Carlisle behind me.

I gawked at Colleen, trying to figure out why in the hell she would say something as disgusting as that at a time like this.

My thoughts were telling me, asking me, what type of girl would try to pin shit on someone this way, but as I stared at the crying girl... shit was starting to unravel, very quickly.

"Are you," I stammered, blinking my eyes, barely able to keep my oxygen levels up, "...are you telling me..."

Carlisle quickly intervened, pulling me out of the way, while he held the door open. "Colleen, please... Step outside for a moment, so no one calls security for an elevator malfunction warrant."

She waited a minute, but after some convincing, she walked all the way around the walls of the elevator, as far from me as possible. Then she quickly handed Alyssa off to Jasper and asked him to take her for a walk and calm her down. Jasper quickly obliged, and Carlisle stepped away to give us our privacy.

I glared at her and she looked back up at me, arms around her body, eyes helpless. "She'll be four in a week," she cried, shaking her head as her words tumbled out of her mouth at high speed. "She was born nine months exactly to the date she was. I was just starting out in college. It was New Years Eve and I was hanging with my girls. We ran into some sweet older college guys at a bar we snuck into, who invited us over to a party at one of their friends' parents house. One drink led to another, and I continued to converse and dance with the really sweet, charming guy who talked to me like I was, by far, the prettiest thing he had ever laid eyes on before. I was stupid and young and naive, and I believed every word he said. And next thing I knew, we were drunk and had sex and fell asleep. I woke up in a messy bed at some strange person's house next to a torn condom wrapper on the floor and no man beside me."

I shook my head, none of this making sense.

"I knew it was you, the instant I saw you at the cabin! I tried to steer clear of you. I felt so sick, but I didn't want to tell anyone, didn't want anyone to know! I didn't even know your name before I got there! I couldn't remember, it was all an in and out blur of events that night, but I knew, the moment I heard your voice and saw your _stupid ass_ grin! But I was too ashamed, I didn't even tell my best friend! I lied to Bella! To Jasper! To Makin! What could I have said, who would have believed me?! They were all your friends, and you were with her sister, and they would have targeted me! I saw how people were with girls they didn't like, I knew Rosalie, I knew how vicious she was on some things, and I didn't want to be one of the girls who got their ass handed to them because of something in the past. I didn't want to stir shit up between her and Bella. So I hid it from everyone, and I maintained myself, and I did what I had to do to be strong for my daughter! Was it the right thing, I don't know, okay?! I don't! But it was the best thing for Alyssa, because she shouldn't have to know what kind of fucked up mistake I made when I was nineteen!"

"That's not for you to decide!" I shouted back at her, so angry I was shaking. "If what you're telling me is fucking true, then you needed to find a way to contact me! Or, when she's old enough to speak, let her decide whether or not I was involved with her! That's not your fucking decision, you c-"

"It is my decision, I'm her mother!"

"And how many times as she asked about who I was?! Where her damn father was?!"

Colleen leaned against the wall, shaking her head and crying as she closed her eyes.

"I bet a _fucking _lot," I spat at her.

She shook her head.

"Don't stand there and lie to me. I know she's asked."

"I didn't know what to tell her!"

"Tell her how f-" I stopped myself short from snapping something really awful to her. That wouldn't get us anywhere, and I was so shaken up at this moment, the last thing I needed was to go to jail over a public fight. "I cannot fucking believe you. Why didn't you try to find me?!"

"I did!

"How?! When?!"

"What did I have to go on?! All I remembered was pieces of your face that weren't blurred with alcohol, and the sound of your voice! No name, no address, no phone number! There were a few people left in the house, and I tried to ask around to find out who you were, but no one knew who I was even talking about! My friends that I was with couldn't remember anything about you! I tried to look through yearbooks, but we didn't go through the same school. I had no idea! Every time I went into town, I fucking looked for you, especially after I found out I was pregnant! Every face, every voice... Never found you. And then, after giving up, then going through a strand of asshole boyfriends, I decided she only needed me and I only needed her. But as my shitty luck would have it, I receive a call from a girl named Alice that I had never met, telling me she dug my number out of Bella's phone, asking me to come celebrate New Year's with my best friend. I come, of course, and then there you are. After years of looking for you, of being angry, of being upset with myself and sickened by my mistake... you appeared. And after I saw you... I just wanted to forget you ever existed."

I took a step back. "You didn't even know me."

"I knew that a man who promised me the world in one night then disappeared before daylight wasn't going to be someone who'd stick around if I ever had the chance to tell him what happened."

"Don't fucking judge me because of your decision-"

"_Our _decision!"

"Yes, okay, our decision. But I didn't fucking run away from you! I just went about my business. I used a fucking jacket every time I had sex, so I don't even understand how any of this is possible, to tell you the fucking truth. I'm not one of those guys. I'm not Edward, I'm fucking smart and I wrap my shit up."

"Apparently it broke."

I scoffed, shaking my head. "We need to handle this now. I want a paternity test, I want answers, we need to do this now and I don't want you to leave with her, without me knowing. You just dropped a fucking bomb on me, and forgive me if I'm angry here, but can you really blame me?! You should have told me the moment you saw me!"

"You were with my best friends sister, who I happen to know would beat the holy fuck out of me for even talking to her man! I've seen her do it with other guys. I've been best friends with Bella for years! I know a thing or two about Rosalie! I listened to all the girls bicker and gossip, knew the Alice and Bella debate. I didn't want to be targeted, I just wanted to forget!"

"Yeah, well Alyssa will never forget!"

"She has a parent in me and my mom helps out and so do my frie-"

"That don't make shit right, Colleen! Let's do it, right now. Carlisle!" Carlisle crept around the nurses station as I twisted to find him, and walked quickly to us. "I want a fucking paternity test on that girl, right here, right now! So get your little shit and do the little swabby thing or whatever it takes to get the quickest, most accurate results, because we need to get this shit sorted, stat."

Carlisle nodded, "Okay, let's calm down, and we'll figure this out..."

"Are you calling me a slut here?!," she shouted at me, ignoring Carlisle all together. "Why is this necessary? Look at her. She's got you all over her! Why would I lie-"

"You did fuck me at some random party on the first night you met me," I spat at her, even though I knew it was wrong.

She cocked her head at me. "And you had no problems sticking your dick inside some young, naive girl on the first night you met her either. But I'm sure that's just a normal routine for an arrogant asshole womanizer like yourself. I wouldn't be surprised if you haven't knocked up ten or twenty girls with your stupidity."

"Okay, let's calm down, seriously." Carlisle grabbed us and pulled us out of the hallway, toward the nearest empty waiting room. "Breathe... Let me talk to some people... Make some calls. Do I need to bring someone in here to monitor you two?" We stared at each other, practically visualizing the smoke coming out of each other's ears. Carlisle took that as a yes. "All right... One second... Let me see who I can pull in here."

Forty seconds later, Aimee Denson walked in and he walked out. _This _tiny thing was supposed to prevent us from scrapping? It wouldn't take a flick of my finger for that little girl to hit the floor. She weighed all of two pounds.

I scoffed, turning and walking toward the wall, staring up at the ceiling. "This is really some fucked up shit, Colleen."

"Don't act like you have any right to tell me what to do. I survived this! I was the one who had to wake up with something inside of me, not knowing who the other half of it belonged to! I was the one who had to raise her, to struggle through school, to get backhanded and disowned by my father, to have my mother struggle to help me out, to go on WIC, to barely graduate college, and.."

"I don't want to hear your bullshit," I said, becoming eerily calm. When I got eerily calm, it meant one of two things. I was either going to fucking explode soon, or I was just done with it all together. "Fucking save it. We can go on Maury if you want to sob to someone."

"Fuck you."

"Nice manners. Do you teach your daughter that?"

"Yeah,_ my daughter_. Don't you forget it."

"Yeah, we'll see whose daughter she really is, won't we? Anyone else you'd been with that night? Is that a typical thing for you?"

"Insinuate that I'm a slut one more time and I will knock you out," she replied shakily.

"Okay," Aimee stepped between us, holding her hands out, "let's take another breath here, shall we? I understand and can sympathize with the situation and the frustration. But I have to remind you that you're in a public hospital, and it's eight in the morning... We have other patients and we need to be respectable of ou-."

"Fuck off," Colleen spat at her as she sat down in a huff. "Stupid fucking_ wanna-be-a-virgin-again-so-Edward-Cullen-can-come-and-fuck-me_ bitch."

Aimee's mouth dropped but I quickly shook my head, waving it off. "Don't mind her, Aimee. She doesn't want to be the only _slut _in the room, so she has to call us one too in order to make herself feel better."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

After everyone cleared out to go home and get some rest, Edward stayed in the room with Masen and I, even though I could tell he was just as exhausted as I was. He'd worked a long shift, then came home and was with me, didn't rest, went through all of this... "Edward, you're exhausted."

"I'm fine, love," he replied distractedly, brushing his finger down Masen's cheek again.

"You're a shitty liar."

"Shhh," he winked, "no cursing around the baby."

"Yeah," I whispered back, "you'll have to be the one to remember that rule, not me."

He smirked.

"You're a wonderful husband, Edward." He pulled his face back and looked at me, puzzled. I grinned. "I know I don't say it as much as I should, but I feel really blessed to have you. I wouldn't be complete any other way. I know you're going to be a good father to him. I just hope we don't lose sight of each other and the importance we have in each other's lives because we have him. He's first and foremost, but we're still here too."

"We're going to be perfectly okay," he reassured me. "We're a family, and we'll stick together."

"We're a _family_," I whispered with a warm smile. "That word definitely has more meaning, now."

He chuckled with a nod, "it sure does."

"And... I want to thank you, for putting up with me this past nine months. I know I've been a lot to handle, and I've come off the lid a few times... I know I've been whiney and crabby and moody and I want you to know that, I may have taken you for granted sometimes, and I'm sorry for that. You deserve a medal for this."

Edward laughed, running his fingers through my hair. "Bella, number one, you've always been whiney, so I'm willing to look past that. And two,-"

I elbowed him, careful not to disturb Masen, and he laughed. "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

I kissed the side of his head. "And, I especially want to thank you for the whole Aimee thing, for understanding. I was worried enough about delivering Masen and I know, if she'd been there, whether it made sense or not, I would have been tense, on edge, and shitty, and that just wouldn't have been right for Masen... You never did tell me how it went with Aubrey when you talked to her?"

"Well, you did kind of distract me with the mind blowing sex and the whole birth thing..."

"So? How did it go? Did it work like I said it would?"

He glared at me and shook his head. "Sort of. I can't believe you told me to put everything on you. I sounded like such an ass. And I seriously, seriously don't think she believed me, but she acted like she would for your sake. I just hope she knows I wouldn't ever discount your feelings that way. Guess I'll have to work even harder here at work to make sure everyone knows I love you... Maybe tape a picture of you to my ass and dick, so they can see who owns me."

I giggled, shaking my head. "One, don't say the 'd' word, sweetheart. Two, that'd be hilarious. Please do. For Aimee's benefit."

He rolled his eyes.

"Edward, like it or not, Aimee wasn't completely innocent in everything that happened between you two. I know she's well, well, _well _in the past. And, if she knows what's good for her, quite frankly, then she'll stay there. Look. I trust you. You know that. We've talked about it. I just... couldn't deal with her being there today. I'll try to not have a problem with you being her mentor, just as you try not to have a problem with Ryan being my partner. And I don't have a problem if you have to see her in a work setting, that's fine. But, today was about us and Masen. If the best way for me to get that was for you to make me sound like an insane hormonal nutjob in front of your boss, so be it. I don't care."

"Bella," he exhaled, "it wasn't about Aimee. I could care less if she was in here. And honestly, it makes sense that she wasn't. But I was in hot water, and I didn't want to slip and burn myself any more than I had to. I know that therapy was what sparked your final decision with her no longer being your nurse and that's fine. That's its own thing... But, I'm on probation. That's why I was leery about it, not anything to do with her. I do wish that you would have spoken about your concerns earlier, but I guess it makes sense that you did it when you did, because of what I told you about her."

I nodded. "We're over it now. If Aubrey believed you, then we can move on. I'm not going to be all buddy-buddy with the blonde, but I promise, I'll try to be more sensitive about it."

He smirked, "I can't guarantee that I'm not going to be a d-... you know... in front of Ryan, but that's because I don't want to imagine him touching any part of you. Ever."

I bit my lip, "We'll just have to agree to disagree about those two, won't we?"

"We will," he kissed my lips. "But as long as he knows that I have the ability, and more important your blessing, to fill you three ways at one time and he can never touch you like that again, then I'll be civil."

"Oh Edward," I chuckled, "you're terrible."

"You wouldn't have me any other way and you know it."

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 34! **

**-- Baby Masen pictures coming next chapter (hopefully!). I've found the boy to use for the sequel when he's older, but I have no newborn pictures of him, just ones from when he's a few months old and up... I'll try to figure something out though, just for you guys, bc I know you are as crazy about pictures as I am!!  
**

**-- A/N: This took a long time to sort out, considering that I do not have children and am not a doctor, I put myself between a rock and a hard place making Bella pregnant and Edward an OBGYN in training, haha. If it wasn't from "What To Expect When You're Expecting," and watching shows like TLC's "A Baby Story" and "Bringing Home Baby", plus the help of my beta Caryn (who's thankfully had children!), I would be seriously drowning. I hope that it all is relevant as possible, considering. **

**-- Since this chapter was so long, I had to cut it short, which meant everything planned in the outline for 34 was not put in here. I planned just 1 more chapter and an epilogue of sorts for the sequel... Right now, I'm still going to try it that way, but we may have an extra chapter, making it 36 ch's and an epilogue... *sniff* Regardless, it makes me sad, truly! It's a good thing there's gonna be a sequel, because I'm not sure if I can let go of these characters and this story! It's been my baby since January!! LOL!! So I'm glad that the majority of you will be sticking around. Make sure to put this story, as well as my profile on your Story Alerts, so you'll know when everything after TEF gets finished is posted...**

**-- ALSO, reminder to check out the TEF outtakes, which will still be updated during downtime between TEF & the sequel. Bella and Edward's sad break up, along with some other moments, are all ready posted, so be sure to READ & REVIEW if you have not done so all ready. ;)**

_**Random Question for my readers to answer at the bottom of your review:**_

**-- **_Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire; after saving your loved ones (including pets), you have time to safely make a final dash to save ONLY ONE ITEM. What would it be?_  
(Mine would be my computer, because not only does it have everything I do on a daily basis, but it also has home videos and photographs on it, so I wouldn't lose all of my memories.)

Thoughts? There's still more to come, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

**Reviews are better than seeing Edward snuggled with Masen.**


	35. Directing Curveballs

_**Review, Review, Review!**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Directing Curveballs  
Ahhhh, life. Every time you think you have something figured out, it changes gears on us. Like using a condom... or thinking your parents are happy... or clashing with exes.  
**(No Jake/Rose pov, for a reason. Will make up for it next chapter. Sorry JaRo fans!!)

* * *

_  
__**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with!  
_Special Thanks to_:  
- To **My readers **and **loyal reviewers**.... Ahhhh, here we are again. You guys are as important as daylight to me. I love you all. Thank you for your support.  
- To **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)** for keeping me from drowning in panic and making sure I do the right thing with these characters, by following my heart. Without you to guide me, I honestly believe I'd be sinking to the bottom in anxiety, because we all know how I aim to please, even when I know it's impossible all the time. Thank you for all of your support, BB. You are the E to my Em!!  
- To **My Twilighted**, **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members** -- Thank you for EVERYTHING YOU DO!!!

* * *

_**"I look around at a beautiful life.  
Been the upperside of down, been the inside of out, but we breathe...  
We breathe.  
I wanna breeze and an open mind, I wanna swim in the ocean, wanna take my time for me...  
All me.  
So maybe tomorrow... I'll find my way home."**_

_**~ Stereophonics, "Maybe Tomorrow"**_

* * *

_**Baby Masen: 2 Days Old**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Directing Curveballs**

**BellaPOV**

Edward drove us home from the hospital forty-eight hours after I delivered Masen.

It was strange being in the backseat of my own car, with our new son in the carseat beside me.

It was strange, period. Strange but beautiful.

He was fussy, it seemed, with his white onesie, which had a stethoscope and pen design on it, making it look like a doctor's jacket, with matching gray corduroy pants. The back of his onesie read "_McDoctor_". (Edward loved the outfit that I picked out though. He got a good laugh out of it. I had another doctor in training, apparently. Already.)

During my stay at the hospital, I realized that Masen's circumcision was more painful for me than for him. Edward had to calm me down several times because I couldn't stop crying. I just didn't like the idea of him being in any type of pain. I was his mother. I was supposed to protect him, and I couldn't stand to see him cry. Not when we were the cause of the pain. He didn't cry that much, though he physically looked like he should, since it was a bit swollen. But he was a trooper. Unlike his poor helpless mother.

They also tried to teach me how to breastfeed. That was something that might take some practice at home, because anytime that Edward or our nurse, Anna, wasn't with me, I couldn't really figure out how to help him latch on and stay engaged. We tried several positions, but for some reason the only one Masen seemed to like was one called the '_football cradle'_, which had him wrapped beneath my right arm at my side, with his head wound around to latch on to the right breast. The lactation consultant explained most babies weren't secure enough to stay in that position. So, of course, that made me beam that my baby was all ready secure.

Also, I found out that urinating sucked big time. I didn't want to do it ever again. And bowel movements were even worse. Plus, I didn't get much sleep, and I don't think I saw Edward sleep or leave my room from the moment we got there to the moment we left.

Our room was filled with so many flower arrangements and balloons, we had to have two nurses with rolling carts help us stick it all in the trunk. Edward said my car would smell like roses and _'green, shrubbery shit' _for a month. _We really had to work on this whole language thing_, I thought with a smile.

Edward drove slowly for the first time in his entire life. Under the speed limit even. I was really proud of him. I noticed that he kept checking mirrors and windows, making sure no one got too close to us. Once we turned off the main stretch onto our back road, it really got interesting. There was a truck behind us and, according to my husband, he got too close to the rear of my car. (I think Edward was exaggerating.) Needless to say, the expletives that flowed high speed from his lips were just hilarious, because he was trying to cover them all up so Masen wouldn't hear. All I could hear was lots of growling.

When we arrived at the main gate, Tommy came out to greet us so he could see Masen. Edward invited him up to the house in a few hours, when our other friends and family would gather for a supper that my mom was cooking. As we drove down our long lane, I noticed that every five trees or so, there were blue balloons dancing in the light breeze. They all led to a big, colorful, sparkly sign that hung beside our mailbox near our house. _'Welcome Home, Masen Anthony Cullen!!"_, it read, with a picture of the three of us, Masen in his little hat and blanket, Edward sitting behind me. It must have been taken with Rosalie's camera in the hospital.

My heartbeat doubled once Edward parked the car and ran around to help me out. "I hope he likes the house," I whispered, shaking.

"He'll love it," he replied as he bent inside the car to undo the carseat.

My mom ran out to meet us, tossing a dish towel over her shoulder. "Hey!! Welcome home, sweethearts!"

"Hey mom," we both replied with a smile. Renee would only let me carry in a few balloons, while she held on in handfulls and Edward moved the car seat with a sleeping baby. By the time we made it across the bridge and to the front door, I thought I was going to pass out I was so anxious.

"Mom, where's the dogs?" Edward asked Renee before he turned the handle. I loved that he kept calling her mom... Loved how close they'd gotten.

"I locked them in the kitchen for now."

He nodded and opened the door, and as soon as the dogs noticed us behind the gate, they started bouncing and jumping up and down. Their barking woke up Masen, of course, before we even made it to the couch. "Welcome home baby," Edward chuckled as he sat the carseat on the couch and began to unfasten him. I was quick to help him and my heart felt as if it could explode when I watched him pull Masen out of the car seat and up against his chest.

I bit my lip and rubbed his back while Edward soothed him. I couldn't think of a prettier sight than that.

After an hour or so of getting settled and calming ourselves, we decided to show him around his new house. We showed him every single room, even the closets. Then we went outside by the pool, the lake, near the woods, everywhere we could. That in itself took another hour. By the end, I felt my legs go wobbly and knew I had to sit down. Between the lack of rest and food, and combined with my anxiety, I was running on about on empty.

I didn't want to close my eyes. Not with my son finally here. Edward told me he was going to let me spend some time with him while he took the dogs for a walk. We were worried that they would feel unloved with so much attention given to Masen, so he wanted to be sure they felt as much of a part as this adjustment as we did. They were family too.

My mom helped me adjust on the couch, throwing a cover over the two of us that I hadn't seen before. She fussed with the pillows beneath and around me. "Hey mom?" I yawned, "Where did this cover come from?"

"Oh... Alice brought it over. She made it herself... and she streamed the balloons for you guys. Did you see them all on your way in? Oh, and she purchased Masen another gift. It's in a bag upstairs. I put it on his dresser in the nursery."

I smiled. "Thank you. Did she say whether she was coming by tonight or not?"

"No," she frowned. "I didn't ask her, with everything going on. I felt it was none of my business."

"That's fine. I'll see if we can get a hold of her. I know Edward would like her to be here. I would too... It's easy to miss her."

Renee grinned. "That's because you both have huge, accepting hearts. Masen will have no trouble finding love in this family."

I nuzzled up against my baby, who was trying to sleep himself.

Before I knew it, the new and fresh smell of him surrounded me and I was out like a light.

* * *

_**Two Days Later.  
Baby Masen: 4 Days Old**_

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I was sitting in the recliner watching television with Coleen and Alyssa asleep on the couch beside me when Makin got home from work. I gave him a welcoming nod, and he returned it, before motioning with his hands for me to meet him in the kitchen. I barely took in breath as I moved around. Alyssa was a really light sleeper and the last thing I wanted was for her to wake up and then wake up Colleen. I knew she hadn't slept well these past couple of days. "Hey man," I said when I walked in to the kitchen, watching as he tossed his stuff on the counter.

"How long have they been asleep?"

"About forty minutes or so."

"Mmm," he nodded, clearly still pissed off. "Any results yet?"

"Carlisle called earlier, told them he'd have them today."

Makin scoffed and walked around to the other side of the bar, where he could sit in a stool, "I still can't fucking believe she didn't tell me this shit. Prepare me or something. I'm the one she wants to spend her life with."

I nodded, sticking my hands in my pockets. Makin didn't know that I knew beforehand. No one did, but Colleen herself. She broke down and told me everything in my car after Bella's baby shower, and I promised her that I wouldn't say anything. To me, it didn't matter if Makin was my friend or not. Colleen confided into me, in _only _me, and I knew that took lot of courage for her to do in the first place, to speak up about it to someone. I wouldn't betray her trust.

"Has he called over here today?"

"Emmett?"

"Yeah."

"Not today. I'm pretty sure he's going haywire now, waiting himself."

Makin rubbed his face with his palms then slapped his hands on the counter. "The sad thing is... I feel more for him at this moment. I realize I'm her boyfriend and I'm supposed to support her. But, truth be fucking told, I feel bad for the guy. The one who didn't get a chance to know his own daughter. The guy who was left in the dark. She should have fucking told him the moment she saw him! She told me that she was afraid of what other people would think? Well screw that. This isn't about them. It's not about her. It's about that little girl in there, and I tell you, she's been without a father for four goddamn years, and regardless of his or her stupidity for a drunken one night stand, that is _not _Alyssa's fault."

I nodded, unsure of what to say.

"I'm truthfully sickened by this. Sickened about all of it. Alyssa is afraid of most men. She can't get as close to me as she did with Edward Cullen -- which I don't get at all, but that's a whole other story -- but that's fine. I'm not her father, whatever. But, supposedly Emmett is, and it's sick. It's just all fucking sick."

"Happens all the time though," I replied quietly. "People don't think, they get drunk, stuff happens."

"Yeah but she should have told him. Told me! Told you, told Bella, told fucking someone. That way something could be done about this way fucking earlier than it was. That's just pure immaturity on her part. She has a responsibility to that girl, yes. She protects her, yes. But she's making decisions for Alyssa when she shouldn't be."

I shrugged again, clearing my throat. "With all due respect, Makin, it's not your decision to make either."

Makin glowered at me for a minute, shocked that I said what I did. I didn't look away. He scoffed and moved out of the seat, heading toward his room. "Yeah, I forgot how close the two of you've been these past few weeks. Should have known that you'd see it from her side."

"Man, come on, don't do that. I'm trying to be the neutral party here, alright. You're my friend, yes, but seriously, I've got to give it to Colleen on this one. No one was in her shoes. No one went through what she did but her, and none of the choices she could have made would have been any easier than the one she made." I followed him down the hallway and was grateful when he didn't shut the door in my face.

"Besides," I continued, leaning against the frame, "could you imagine what people would have done if Colleen _had _dropped that bomb in the cabin? Truthfully? It would have caused mad hysteria. You were there for a few days, and you saw how crazy it was. Emotions were high as hell. And Rosalie is a fucking bitch. I'm sorry, but she is. She was screwing Emmett, and that would have seriously backfired for Colleen if she put Emmett in that position. Because it would have caused problems between the two of them. And if she told someone else, anyone else, then everyone would have found out. It took an afternoon for a rumor that Rosalie had sex to spread like wildfire. Everyone knew in a few short hours. Someone would have run their mouth, and since no one knew Colleen besides Bella and us... Shit would have hit the fan."

"She could have contacted him after the cabin. What about all this time? What about the wedding? They fucking made speeches together. They were best man and maid of honor! That little girl was dancing around all damn night and Emmett was there, having no fucking clue who he was to her-"

"Colleen was scared! Don't you get it, Makin? She found _you_. She'd been wanting you for years. Years of struggle and choices and being alone with a daughter to raise by herself, and then she finally had you, her fucking dream guy or whatever you want to say, and stuff was starting to get better for her! She probably thought to herself that _you _would be a better suit for Alyssa. You'd be willing to be in her life with no questions. No demands. She didn't need him so she tried to let it go and move on."

He shook his head, growing angrier by the second. "No. No, no, no, it doesn't work that way. You can't go pinning shit on people like that. _I'm _not Alyssa's father!"

"Makin, you're overreacting. You seriously need to think things through here before you blow up."

He rushed over to me. "Why are you defending her and not hearing me out?! I was left in the dark here! Why can't you see it my way, or Emmett's way?"

"Because someone needs to defend _her_."

He scoffed again and shook his head, backing up. "That's fucked up."

"It's true."

"Look man, I'm only going to ask this once, because shit isn't making sense around here. You and Colleen have grown pretty damn close in the past few months. I've tried to just let it be, because I know that I work longer hours than the both of you, and neither of you have a lot of friends, and you like to hang out together. Plus you're my boy. But I've got to ask. Are you fucking her?"

I tried to keep my voice calm as I stared at him. "If I was fucking her, I would have the decency to tell you about it, not run around behind your back."

"Are you lying to me?"

I shook my head slowly, trying to ignore the tightening in my body. It pissed me off that he would think it too, as if I didn't hear it enough from the mumblings of Edward's friends at the hospital the other day. But I knew blowing up would make things worse for everyone. He scoffed and turned away, heading toward his bathroom, mumbling about shit that he was still pissed off about. Clearly, I had done little to ease his mind.

"Are you going to go hear the results with her? She's going to want someone there."

"She seems to have done pretty damn good at keeping me in the dark for this long. I wouldn't want to spoil her routine now," he replied, slamming the door closed and locking it.

"That's really messed up."

I closed the door to his bedroom. When I turned around, I found Alyssa standing in the hallway, wearing her little brown corduroy dress and colorful tights, wide awake. "Hey," I knelt beside her. "Did you just wake up?"

She nodded with a frown. "I wet my dwess doh." Then she started crying immediately after her confession.

"Oh that's all right." I reached out my hand to her, which took tentatively, and brought her into my room. "Here, stay right here. I'm going to go get you some dry clothes and we'll take a bath and get you cleaned up. Don't cry, you're not in any trouble."

"Sees gonna be so mad ats me."

"Shh, shh, shh, shh," I soothed as I brushed my fingers through her hair. "We won't tell her, okay? It'll be our secret. Just stay right here, I'll be right back." When Colleen stayed over, she slept in Makin's room. So most of Alyssa's things were in there, meaning I had to go back into his room to find her some dry clothes. By the time I returned, the little girl's eyes were so swollen. It made me sad, knowing how different her life was going to be in just a few hours, and how helpless she was during all of this.

I quickly brought her into my bathroom and made a nice warm bath for her. I didn't have any of her bath toys with me, and I knew Makin was in the shower where her toys would most likely be. So, I settled for giving her a helicopter I had from high school, during my War-obsession phase. She liked it, quickly forgetting her accident as she pretended she was flying the helicopter over a lake.

After I washed her clean, she played for about twenty minutes, while I threw her clothes in the wash. Eventually, she allowed me to pull her out, and showed me how she dressed herself (which wasn't as quick at all) in her jeans and flowery shirt.

As soon as we were finished, the phone rang, waking her mother up. Colleen begged me to answer it, since Makin appeared to be throwing his normal hissy-fit and locking himself in his bedroom with the television too loud. I did, and it was Carlisle, confirming he had received the results.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

When I walked into the hospital, I noticed Carlisle, Colleen, Alyssa, and Jasper already there. I wanted someone to be with me too, but Alice was at therapy, and Edward had a new baby and a sore wife at the house, and none of my other friends knew about this. Actually, Edward didn't even know. Not yet, anyway. I adjusted my crisp, white, short-sleeved button down and the belt in my jeans before rounding the corner. As soon as I saw Alyssa in her blue jeans and flowery-looking shirt, my heart started pounding ninety miles per hour. I swallowed as Colleen looked at me nervously. Jasper's arm was behind her chair again, like it was the night of Masen's birth. For some reason, him being there both soothed me, and made me more nervous. He seemed protective of her. I'd hate to have to lose my shit in front of him. Or the little girl.

I gave him a nod, which he returned, and took my seat across from them in the waiting room, rubbing my hands together. My eyes bounced from Colleen to Alyssa, who was sitting on the floor with a few of those children's books spread out before her. She was holding _Dumbo _in her tiny left hand, a loose page in the middle about to fall out. I swallowed thickly and looked at the white tile beneath my sneakers. My stomach was turning in ways it shouldn't be. I hoped I didn't throw up.

Carlisle entered the waiting room shortly after, decked in dress slacks and a nice shirt. He cleared his throat and shut the door, before taking a stand at the end of the rows between us. "Hello, everyone... Before we open these results, and no I haven't looked at them yet, I do ask that you both keep an open mind about this, in either event. That way, there are no forced reactions or tension exploding in front of Alyssa. Because no matter how angry or hurt you are, that one there in the middle is the one who's going to make the biggest adjustment, the biggest change. Are we clear?"

We both nodded, looking at each other for a brief second, then back to Carlisle. He cleared his throat and dragged a chair over to where we were sitting. "Colleen, would you like it to be just you and Emmett in here?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes. "Once the results come back to prove what I've said all along is indeed true, I'm going to have to explain this to her anyway. And Jazz has supported me. They may as well be in here."

"Emmett, are you alright with that?" I nodded and exhaled shakily, trying not to look in their direction, focusing in stead on the silver watch around my wrist. _You're okay... you're okay, you're okay, you're okay... _My heart was racing, my palms sweaty, my chest tightened. I hadn't felt this emotional since... ever. I noticed Colleen's hand gripping Jasper's from my peripheral vision and shut my eyes as I heard him open the manila envelope. He cleared his throat, and then it was silent. After a staggering minute, I opened my eyes and looked over at him, as he looked back at me. Then he stood up and walked over, handing both Colleen and I a white piece of paper.

My hands shook as I took it from him, and turned it around so I could read it. It had our names and addresses, our case and customer number followed by a squared box that read _Combined Paternity Index = 36,590, Probability of Paternity, 99.99%_. Beneath that, it had a typed conclusion which read, "_The alleged father, Emmett D. McCarty, cannot be excluded as the biological father of Alyssa Ivory Sanders. Based on the genetic testing results, the probability of paternity is 99.99%, when compared to an untested random man of the North American population. (Prior Propability - 0.5) At least 99.99% of the North American population is excluded from the possibility of being the biological father of the child..." _Below that was a squared chart, with a whole lot of numbers beneath columns labeled, _System, Mother, Child, Alleged Father, Paternity Index_. Then there were the signatures.

In the single moment it took for me to read over the results, I felt my entire world flip on its axis. This wasn't a television show. Carlisle did not morph into Maury Povich. Colleen didn't go all ape-shit on me, though I kind of expected her to. There was no roar of the crowd. It was just real life -- my life, their life... And it was silent. I read the results a few more times, just to make sure I understood what the hell I was looking at. _ Cannot be excluded_... All the others were, but I couldn't be... _Shit_. I gasped and shut my eyes, as a layer of sweat formed across my forehead. I heard Colleen sniffling, and Alyssa asking, "What tis it, mama, why is su sad?" The sound of her voice, the awareness of that little girl's presence... it was all different now. The test didn't lie. She was mine and I was hers.

What... the hell... What do I do now? I felt so lost, and quite frankly, I'm not the lost type. Even with girl issues, I'm at least somewhat aware of what step to take next. But not today. This changed everything I ever knew.

Colleen stood slowly and kissed the top of Alyssa's head. "Jazz, can you watch her for a second? I want to talk to Emmett outside." He nodded, and I followed her out the door, toward the same place Rose and I stood just a few days ago, before my world changed more than I ever thought possible.

She exhaled, wiping beneath her eyes. "Look, Emmett... I owe you an apology, okay? I'm sorry. I... realize that the way that I told you was wrong, the way I exploded... I was so angry and irritated, and I couldn't get control of my emotions. I knew you were around Alyssa during the wedding, but for some reason, I knew between Jasper, Makin, and Edward, that she was _'safe'_, though I know the way that sounds is awful too... But... Makin was working a double the other night, and Edward was with Bella in the room, and Jasper was trying to make sure _I _was all right, and... I felt really unguarded the whole night. I felt horrified, and scared, and sick. All I kept thinking was being in this hospital, with you, and my daughter... Knowing Bella was in there with Edward, and he was supporting her... and then realizing that when I gave birth, I only had my mom, and she barely made it in there from work. But now you were here, and so was Alyssa, and I... and I felt like I was living in this alternate universe, living her birth over again, alone, and I was just angrier and angrier as these thoughts jumbled in my head..."

"I was angrier with myself than I was with you. But it was much easier to cast the blame on you, because I never knew how to handle this. I threw the fact that you hadn't been around in four years in your face... But the truth of it is, it _was _my fault. I could have done more, I could have found you sooner, done something, said something when I saw you again... I _know _all of that. But as soon as you entered the waiting room the other day and my daughter was on the floor, I felt all my walls crash down, and I couldn't protect her anymore... No matter what I did, the truth would have still gotten out, because this was too real for me to handle. Those guys weren't there to help us this time, and it was just me, lying their, opened wounds and dealing with mistakes, and I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't, and I eventually panicked... Seeing you hold her was the last straw because my best friend and your best friend were sharing their child's first moments... and you missed hers. And I was just too upset to let it go, to pull back and fight for the secrecy."

"But I shouldn't have gone off like that. I shouldn't have snapped at you, panicked, freaked out, cursed at you. Shouldn't have blamed you for everything... It's not how I wanted it to be..." She paused to dig through her large purse and began pulling out sealed envelopes. "These are for you..." She handed them to me, with tears in her eyes. "The top two are ones written recently; one after the cabin, and one last night... I was going to tell you in a letter and chicken out about speaking in person, but I couldn't send it. I tried all the time. And the other one was just a written apology. But the ones beneath them are ones that I had written to you in the past, before I knew who you were... Bella and I were upset one night, lonely, freshman year in the dorms... and we decided to create these journals... She'd write to Edward, and I'd write to Alyssa's father... just things you guys had missed out on..."

I stared at her, shaking my head in disbelief as I held the big stack of letters in my hand. She took a step closer, wiping her face once more. "I'm sorry, Emmett... I'm sorry this happened, that you're saddled with this pain... I'm sorry if I've ruined your life in any way-"

"You didn't," I answered hoarsely. I cleared my throat, shrugging my shoulders, unsure of what to say, "...And I'm sorry too."

"You don't have to apologize. You didn't know she was yours and-"

"That's not exactly what I'm sorry for. I couldn't control that. I am sorry for blowing up at you, for calling you names. I know better than to behave that foolishly, to treat women like that. That's not how I am. I was just completely caught off guard."

"We both were."

I agreed, "But... really... I don't treat girls like that. I didn't mean it when I called you a slut, I swear, I was just upset, and I'm sorry."

"I know... I forgive you."

"I don't want you to be scared of me."

She nodded, hugging herself, guarded still. I looked down at the envelopes, all without words on the front, except for the last two, which had my name and address. "So... I want you to know, Emmett. You don't have to make any decisions about this immediately, and I'll fully understand if you just want to walk away. I wouldn't blame you. I wouldn't be upset with you. We could make a clean break-"

"No," I shook my head quickly, no thoughts in my head at all. "She's mine. I want to try. I want to have her as my own."

She looked up at me, her eyes red and puffy. "It's.. really sudden-"

"I know," I nodded. "But it's also been four years too late, and I'm not blaming you or anyone, but... Why waste another day and make it harder? Even if this is something painful for us to deal and accept the way it turned out, it's still not fair to keep her in the dark any longer. Not now that we both know the truth."

She ran her fingers through her long black hair, lost in thought. "There's... a lot to discuss, to sort out, to plan... We have to decide whether to take this through court, or handle it in priv-"

"Privately, please. We don't have to take this to court if you don't want to. If this works out, then I'll want her last name eventually changed. That's my right. With your permission and understanding, of course... But... Other than that... I mean.. I'm not going to sugar-coat anything. I could royally suck at being a dad. You may not want me. She may not. My dad wasn't there to really raise me. He mistreated me, and I didn't have anyone else's father around to look up to. My best friends are Alice and Edward and they both have shitty fathers as well. I don't know how to change diapers, or even if she still wears diapers. I know nothing about bottles or pacifiers or sleeping routines or what a four year old eats, does, says... But... I'm willing to know her... To try and make this work."

She nodded, taking a staggering breath, "Yeah... me too."

"Okay."

"Should we tell her now then?"

"Yeah."

She hesitated, starting to step. "...Let's go." She turned to walk back toward the room and I began to follow her, but then she skidded to a stop. Before I could blink, she twisted around, and I thought she might rage at me again. But then she just threw her arms around my shoulders and hugged me, burying her face in my right shoulder. She cried and shook, soaking my shirt. I was hesitant at first, not really sure what to do. Then I tentatively wound my arms around her and hugged her to my chest. "I really am very sorry," she whispered, her voice cracking. "For everything _but _her."

"I am too." This felt weird, but okay, at the same time... She was so tiny that I had to lift her up off the ground to keep her from straining her neck. But she was so warm and helpless, and I knew this was a big adjustment for her as well. I knew the guilt that must be racking her brain. Me, personally, I was sort of numb and standing outside myself... I definitely didn't expect to wake up today and be a father. I wasn't sure how to proceed as a father, or as someone who'd be permanent in Colleen's life... But my mother raised me to take responsibility for my actions, and I knew without a doubt that I had to do that. Alyssa was mine. Regardless of how many times I wanted to scream and punch and shout at God for taking this route with my life, it wouldn't change anything.

I rubbed Colleen's back and whispered to her that it was going to be okay. She nodded, still squeezing me. It was funny. Two days ago, we were so frustrated with each other, we were about to start swinging; and now, we were hugging one another like the apocalypse was at hand. We stood there for who knows how long, hugging our apologies and our fears into one another. At least, in a shitty, weird kind of way, I wasn't going through this alone. She would be there with me, to hopefully support me in this. That made me feel better. Made me feel like, just maybe, I could get through this.

I waited until she pulled away before exhaling. "I'm sorry," she whispered, chuckling nervously, "here I go again, keep apologizing. I'm just _sorry_, I don't know... I just don't know how to handle this, how to go about telling her. It'd be different if she were older, but I just know she's not going to understand this. She's going to be upset, she's going to ask questions."

"We're all asking questions," I replied uncertainly. "No one has any answers for you, for me, or for her. All we can do is listen really, and figure it out."

She nodded, leading me back to the waiting room. Alyssa was sitting on the floor on her knees still, between Jasper's legs, showing him a picture in a different book. He nodded, careful not to touch her. I knew I had to ask Colleen about that, made a note of it for later. I worried momentarily if he'd be a better father than me, if everyone would be. I had no fucking clue what I was doing. The only reason I was able to maintain my eerie calm was because I still felt like I was outside of my body. Colleen knelt in front of Alyssa and turned her toward her. "Come here, sweetie... Let me see you for a second."

Alyssa swiped her long, brown, curly hair off her face and stood up straight. "Where didsu go?"

"I was outside talking to someone," she said with a smile, fixing her daughter's shirt. "What were you doing?"

"Sowing Dazz a picture of Bambis."

"Ahhh, you love Bambi, don't you?"

"Smy favwit, duh," she replied, with a hint of humor behind her grin.

Colleen giggled, not jerking away when I sat in the chair beside the two of them. "She loves Bambi," she said, looking over at me. "I try and try to get her on some of the newer movies, and she may watch them but... Bambi's always the one she wants."

"I like Bambi," I said softly, and Alyssa's head cocked toward me.

"Su do?"

"Mmhmm."

"Me too," she nodded softly. "Dumper is my favwit. He dumps a lot."

I chuckled, the inside of my chest warming slightly. "Well... _that's why they call him Thumper_, isn't it?"

She nodded, turning back toward her mom. "Tan we go det ice cweam?"

Colleen looked over at me. "She has a real problem with R's at the moment. "Others too, but R's, G's, and Y's are the main troubles. Sometimes, the letter comes out right, and others, it doesn't... And she loves adding plural to any word. And she still mocks people..." Then she turned back to Alyssa. "Actually... you and I are going to talk for a moment, first. Mommy has something to tell you, and I really need you to try and listen, okay? Because it's important. Do you remember what _important _means?"

"Des. It means at da top of da list."

"That's right. It's the main focus. Good girl." She took a deep breath, and looked up at her daughter's big, greyish-brown eyes. Colleen's were more a combination of green and brown, where mine were more like Alyssa's. Cloudy. Colleen studied her daughter's face for what seemed like an eternity. I noticed her choking back tears, making difficult swallows. "Okay," she stated, her throat scratchy. "I know that you might not understand this, and that's alright... Um..." She kept looking at her daughter, trying to find answers she would never get. Minutes passed. She dropped her head, trying not to cry in front of Alyssa. "I can't do this," she whispered so low that she probably barely heard herself. "She'll hate me."

I rubbed my face and then moved off the chair, onto my knees beside her and a standing Alyssa. Jasper stood up and walked away, not out of the room, but over against the furthest wall to give us our space. Alyssa's eyes didn't leave her mother's.

Teeny tiny thoughts crept into my mind suddenly, while I tried to fumble my words. I saw myself in a black shirt, gliding down some steps, walking up to a girl in a black dress at a party. She smiled and turned around, throwing her arms around my neck, asking me where I'd been. I knew where I was. I was finding an empty bedroom. I whispered in her ear, told her I wanted to kiss her all over her body, how beautiful she was... None of those things were lies. The girl was very easy to get along with, and had a smile that stretched for days, one that hypnotized me. She took my hand after a few more dances, a glass in her other hand, and allowed me to pull her up the steps and into the room. Flashes of moments, kisses, breathing, clothes, pants, connections... I saw it as clear as day, for the first time since Colleen told me about us.

I remembered the majority of the night, in only a few seconds of thought. I remember waking up and realizing she was with me, still asleep, her head against my ribs. Feeling torn about leaving and not knowing why but knowing that feeling torn wasn't a normal reaction for me at a time like this. Realizing how big of a connection I made with her in that one single night, but reminding myself that I didn't really know the girl. I convinced myself to leave, and I did just that, forcing myself to not leave a number behind, though I wanted her to call me. I knew from mistakes prior to never leave a number during a one night stand -- and that's all I thought this was for her, that I was for her. Just a one-nighter on New Year's Eve. Someone to go home with, so you didn't have to be the only one alone on that night.

Well... this definitely wasn't one night. And standing three feet tall in front of me, with large eyes, a pouty lip, long hair, and a beautiful complexion, was proof that _that _one single night joined us forever, whether we chose that or not. Colleen turned Alyssa toward me and looked over at me herself, trying to find words, or help. I licked my lips and held back from touching the little girl, though I wanted to. I wasn't sure how she'd react. She wasn't used to me. She didn't know me, and I had to tell her the truth about who I was. I knew that children reflected emotions easily. I did it as a child. Whenever I saw my mom upset, I became upset. If she was fearful, I was fearful. I knew that if I showed her I was worried or tentative, anything that wasn't at ease, she'd catch on. Children are perceptive, and... well that's pretty much all I knew about kids.

"Alyssa," I said slowly, gaining her attention. She looked over at me, blinking slowly. This was so fucking hard! Every time I thought I had the words, they slipped right out of me whenever the girl looked at me... I'm sure it was the same way with Colleen.

I felt Carlisle enter the room, and then he leaned down and whispered in my ear. "The difficulty is yours, not hers. Children are unbelievably resilient, Emmett. They will deal with the world as it is presented to them. If we make problems with it, they will have problems with it. Telling them the truth may sometimes be painful, but children 'do' pain and fury just as they 'do' happiness and joy. It's not the facts that hurt them, it's that grown-ups have problems with the facts... You have to be serious with her, because the longer you linger, the more confused she will become. You'll lose her attention."

I nodded, not moving my eyes from hers. "Alyssa," I said again. "Who's your mother? Can you... point to her for me?"

Alyssa's eyes widened, and a smile formed on her lips as she jerked her arm out and pointed at Colleen, who smiled proudly through an audible gasp.

"That's right. She's your mama. Good job..." I swallowed, giving her a nod. "And can you tell me her name? Her real name, besides _Mommy_?"

"Des. 'Tis Caween."

"That's good, it's Colleen. That's your mama's name." I nodded, looking from her to Colleen and back. Colleen gave me a hopeful smile, which I absorbed as energy. "Alright... Alyssa?"

She turned back toward me.

I didn't breathe. "Can you point out for me... Do you know who your daddy is?"

Alyssa blinked a few times, then shook her head slowly, before pointing back to her mother. That led me to believe Colleen had told her once, recently, that she was both parents, which ultimately confused her. I shook my head slowly, gaining her attention once more. "No. She's your mama..."

Colleen took one of her daughter's hands, and lifted it toward me, pointing her index finger at me for her, before whispering, "...That's your daddy, baby. He is."

Alyssa's eyebrows furrowed, and she was clearly confused, as she held her arm there in front of me.

I pursed my lips, unsure of how to proceed. I remembered all the times Edward and I would be hanging out in college, watching _Maury _when there was nothing else on, and making fun of the paternity test result shows. Cursing out the men who were never there for their children. I remember we'd become seriously pissed sometimes, and we watched that shit like an addiction, just to get pissed off and yell at those idiots. We would have never told our friends we watched it, _hell no_, but between us it was okay because we knew each other long enough that shit like that didn't matter.

Now I was here, and I was one of them. I felt judged. No one knew my situation. Alyssa sure as hell didn't. No one knew why I was there and didn't know my four-year-old daughter. I vowed to myself right then and there to have more sympathy for the sorry bastards that got brought up on the stage. Because finding out the results is trying enough... Explaining the results to a young child, the reasons for why you weren't there when you didn't have reason yourself... This shit was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life.

"Do you understand what we're trying to tell you?" Colleen asked softly, rubbing Alyssa's back. "That he's your daddy?"

Alyssa shrugged.

"Do you know his name? Do you remember what it is?"

She shrugged again.

"I know you do... Tell him his first name, sweetheart."

She shrugged once more.

"Go ahead... What's his name? I'm _Colleen_... Who's that?"

"...Daddy?" she said tentatively, so soft... It broke my heart. She just called me fucking _daddy_. Damn, she was smart.

I gasped, my eyes widening. Colleen's eyes locked with mine, and we were both clearly shocked.

"Good," Carlisle intervened, helping us out as he squatted between us, "that's very good, Alyssa. He's your daddy."

Alyssa nodded, looking toward the ground.

Carlisle turned to us, "A young child's attention span is only so long... Let her absorb this. Don't tell her anymore right now... Her brain filters information, just as ours does. She'll absorb what she knows now, put some of it back for later. The questions will come to her when she's ready, and when she asks, try to give good, strong answers. The more you leave out, the more she'll ask, and then she may become confused."

I studied him, trying to figure out why the hell he knew so much, but did so little for his own son when Edward was growing up. And why the hell he was so involved with us. Colleen answered my unasked question. "He delivered Alyssa. It was an emergency and my doctor didn't show on time.." My eyes jerked over to her. It was a revelation, something I wasn't aware of. I didn't know Carlisle had OB-GYN training.

Carlisle nodded slowly. "Yep... Stranger things have happened, though." As I looked down to the ground, trying to wrap my head around all of this, I noticed his left hand was shy of a wedding band. Immediately, I wanted to ask him about it, but knew that not only was now not the time, but it was none of my business, and I had better things to tend to.

Colleen grabbed her daughter and stood up, and we followed her lead. "Emmett, uh... Jazz and I were going to take Alyssa out, she hasn't really eaten much today..."

I nodded, understanding where she was going. "Yeah. Edward's been doing good with Masen but I'm not sure either of them got any sleep... He said he was going to grab lunch around one, take him with him, give Bella some time to herself to rest up... I'll probably go have lunch with him."

"Well..." She bit her lip, looking toward Jasper who was walking toward her. "Then... Why don't you take Alyssa, if you want? You two could spend an hour together, grab something to eat... She loves french fries... That way you can spend some time with her, but not so much that it makes her uncomfortable? Baby steps and all. Plus Edward could be there to help you, and I'm only a phone call away if you get nervous. You know Jasper's cell number, and Edward has mine. We could meet around two-thirty? You don't have to-"

"I'd love to," I cut her off, nodding quickly, but suddenly nervous. "Uh... But... I brought my Jeep, left the Mustang at home. Is that alright?"

"If it's got seatbelts, then a child's seat can fit in there just fine."

"Okay then," I nodded, sticking my hands in my pockets.

Colleen smiled at me, the first calm and genuine smile of the day. "Okay then."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Masen hadn't sleep well the previous two nights, just as we both expected. It was a strange thing, trying to figure out what it was that he needed. It was difficult when he could not just tell you. Bella and I rotated around, but I was mostly in charge of the walking and moving, since she was sore. She shed a few tears, which broke my heart. She became too frustrated, saying, "I'm his mama, and I can't figure it out..." But I quickly explained to her that there was no way we could figure out everything in this short amount of time. Masen was already teaching us the value of patience, something the both of us have seriously lacked for years.

Family came and went, and even though her mom hung around, she made sure to give us our space so we could learn to depend on ourselves with Masen, rather than on our parents. So between that, the new adjustments, trying to make sure Bella was comfortable, and realizing that all my normal routines weren't normal anymore, life was certainly full of a whole new set of complications. Great ones, sure. But complications none the less. She fell asleep around eight this morning, after she nursed him, and I got up to try and relieve her. Bella, of course, tried to argue, saying she should stay up. But eventually I think her body told her that it was time to rest up some more, she had no other choice.

Changing Masen by myself was an adventure in itself. I'm not picky with my own clothes because anything I keep in my closet I know looks good on me. But changing him... It was our first day out on the town by ourselves, our first male bonding time. There would be no wearing _adorable _clothing for this occasion. It wasn't allowed. And his mother was not awake to argue with me. I spent ten minutes changing his diaper. I'd done it maybe twice to other people's kids, and once last night with Bella helping me and showing me things. The thing about working with babies in hospitals is, you hand them over to nurses and mothers to do all the dirty work. But not now. Now, I had to do it. And I couldn't figure out if I had to use everything on the changing table; all the wipes and lotions and creams and powders. Or did I use none of it at all, if that was too soon. It was like a whirlwind for me.

Eventually, I figured it out, then changed him into some brown cargo pants, sueded leather upper Quicksilver shoes, cream button-down long-sleeved cotton shirt, and a brown hooded jacket that read "_I like to hit the bottle_" on the back of it. The jacket was thanks to Emmett. Masen's Uncle Em took his responsibility to make the boy fly. I dressed similarly, because I thought it'd be cool to coordinate. I didn't want us looking like the bobsie-twins, but a little color coordination seemed appropriate for our first hang-out together.

After I found my wallet chain, my sunglasses, and my watch, I was out the door and in my Volvo. It was still strange, not having the Carerra. Most days I didn't think about it, but sometimes I did. Such huge changes, such a small time frame. But as I adjusted my mirror to make sure I could see in the backseat, I realized that the person in the carseat was worth it all. Emmett called me and told me where to meet him and told me he had a guest coming. I spent the next fifteen minutes in traffic trying to figure out who the new girl was that he was fucking.

Once I pulled into _The Kingfish Cafe _on the Seattle strip, I noticed Emmett's Jeep wasn't there yet. I was kind of thankful, since that gave me extra time to get Masen's carseat out of the car. Those things were complicated to me. I got him out and adjusted the shield thing over his face, before grabbing my cell out of my pocket. I'd been there almost five minutes already. Emmett answered on the sixth ring, not the first or second. "Hey man, where are you?"

"I'm on my way, man, almost there."

"What's taking you so long?"

He chuckled. "You'll find out when I get there."

"Tell the girl you're with to not blow you while you're driving. You're taking fucking forever."

"Dude... That's not even funny. Seriously, you... You'll understand when I get there."

I smirked and hung up on him. He teased me all the time when it came to girls. Now that I was settled down with one woman, it was time to get even.

Eventually, Emmett pulled in and parked a few spots down from me. I raised my eyebrow and walked toward his front door, but he hopped out before I got to it. He had a look of panic across his face. "What the hell is your problem?" I laughed. "Are you constipated or some shit?"

He glared at me. "Fucking traffic. I was scared shitless to drive with her."

"Why?"

He blew out a gust of wind. "Okay, so I guess I better get moving now... It's probably illegal to keep someone in a car that isn't moving for too long."

"Who the hell are you with?"

He walked around to the passenger side, and I smirked. He only opened the door for... maybe two girls, his entire life. The girl must be a keeper.

When the Jeep opened, I about passed out as I stared into the seat. Emmett nodded quickly, eyeing me down, "Now do you want to talk shit?"

I couldn't close my mouth, as I stared from her to hi. , "What... Are you baby-sitting?"

"Not exactly. Can you help me get her out? Her mom put her in, and I have no fucking clue what I'm doing."

"Yeah, hold Masen." We traded spots, and I furrowed my brows as I tried to unbuckle Alyssa from the entrapments of her toddler car seat. "Hey girly, how ya been?"

She shrugged, fiddling with the white belt of her long, cream cardigan jacket. "Su have to undo dat one first and I dust come out after that."

"Thank you," I said, doing as she instructed. She was more clever than I was when it came to the carseat business. I helped her down from the Jeep and took my son back from Emmett, still puzzled as hell. "Where's Colleen and Makin?"

"Let's get inside. We'll talk about it when we get out of the sun. I don't want her to get sunburned."

"She can't get sunburned in two seconds," I argued. But I gave him a nod and watched as he reached out his hand, which Alyssa took tentatively. I couldn't think straight as we waited for a seat, and was even more confused when we sat at the round table. I put Masen's carseat in a spare chair and after making sure it wasn't going to go anywhere and no one wasn't going to bump into it, I pulled back the visor. Alyssa needed a booster seat, so we waited for one, neither of us saying a word.

Emmett exhaled, looking across the table at Masen, who was staring at me. "Cute outfit."

"Thanks," I grinned.

"Boy's got immaculate taste."

"Ha! Yeah, that happens when he has us."

"True. I got that for him."

We nodded, then it became silent again. It was never silent with us. I glanced over at Alyssa, who was fiddling with her jacket. "Are you hot?"

She gave a nod.

Emmett jumped out of the seat and helped her out. "Okay... um... Hmm..." He grabbed the bottom, and pulled it over her head, completely dismissing the fact that it had very large buttons he could have easily undone. Her shirt started to come up with it, and as soon as he pulled it over her head, creating static in her hair, he gasped and quickly pulled her shirt back down. "I'm sorry, shit... I didn't see anything... No one did... Um... I'm sorry."

I was laughing so hard I had to cover my mouth. He looked so fucking spooked. "Emmett, seriously, why in the hell did Colleen trust you to babysit, and where is she?"

"I'm not babysitting," he sneered as he helped Alyssa back in the booster seat. "I'm... I don't know what I'm doing?"

"What do you mean you're not babysitting?"

He exhaled, rubbing his face. "She's... mine." I dropped the spoon I was playing with, and it clinked onto the empty plate, causing Masen to stir and fuss, but thankfully not to cry. Emmett glared at me and I gawked back at him. "Oh shut your damn mouth, will ya?" he hissed, shaking his head.

I closed it, staring from her to him. He rubbed his face, then pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to me. I read over it a few times. Paternity test results. I dropped the paper on the same plate, and looked from him to her again, shaking my head, "Wha-.... When.... _Huh_?"

"Yeah. I know."

I ran my fingers across my face, from my nose and around my lip, to my chin, where I steadied it. "Explain..."

"Four years ago, one night stand with... you know who."

"Huh? What, why didn't you tell me?!"

"I didn't even remember it until earlier today!"

"But... This doesn't make any sense."

He tapped the paper with his finger. "It's there. It's right fucking there, E. Read it. I'm not lying and this isn't a joke."

"Okay... Okay... Relax," I said, holding my hands up, "breathe for a second... I'm in shock."

"Now you know how I felt when you told me Bella was pregnant. Shit ain't that funny when the roles are reversed, is it?"

I licked my lips as Emmett ordered us all drinks from the waitress. Then I leaned in. "But... I thought you said you always wrap your shit... Wasn't that the main argument in your blow-up with me?"

"I _did _wrap it," he hissed under his breath, leaning toward me. "I don't know how this happened."

"Well... obviously, it broke."

"Yeah, no shit, dumbwad. I kind of figured that out when I realized there was a toddler sitting beside me."

Alyssa reached her arm out, tapping the table, to get our attention. "Tan I color?"

"Uh..." We looked at each other, waiting for the other to answer her.

"Did Colleen give you a diaper bag?"

"No. Do you have any crayons in yours?"

"Yeah, because Masen's old enough to be the next Picasso. No, dickweed, why would I have crayons?"

The waitress brought our drinks, and Emmett asked her if they had anything for kids. She handed him a few pieces of paper and different colored pens. That kept Alyssa busy making masterpieces. We ordered our food, Alyssa demanding fish sandwich and french fries, and then we settled back into our conversation. Emmett explained the gory details, minus some expletives for the sake of little ears. We really needed to learn how to watch our fucking mouths around these kids. _Our kids_.... Shit. We both have kids.

"So..." I leaned forward to him again. "You're telling me that we both came out of the hospital the other day with kids?"

"Yeah."

"Who would have fucking thought," I scoffed.

"I know. It's _us_. Who would be in their right minds to even hook up with people like you and me?"

We both laughed and shook our heads in wonder.

"I don't know what I'm fucking doing," he confessed, keeping his voice low enough so Alyssa couldn't hear. "I feel so numb, so confused... Outside myself, like this isn't real. I can't be a dad, can I? Really? I don't know how."

"Neither do I. It's just... They're here, so we'd better fu-... We'd better learn. Fast." I glanced from him to Alyssa, who was drawing what appeared to be a dinosaur... or a cloud... or something. "I can't believe I didn't see it before... Holy shit... She's really fucking yours."

"Yeah... I really thought I'd make ugly kids. Guess not, since she's pretty... Wait, _are _we allowed to call them pretty? Or does that make us like... child predators or something?"

I smirked and shook my head. "I think it's allowed. Just... don't do it when you're helping her bathe or something."

He glared at me, his eyes in shock. "I can't _bathe _her! That's, no, no, that's, no. That's not good. Men can't bathe girls."

"She's a child!"

"Nooooooooo. That's fucking wrong."

"Emmett," I hissed, "keep your voice down. And no, it's not wrong. You're not a sicko, it's not wrong. You have to take _care _of her."

"But..." He stared at me in complete disbelief. "That's... Holy fuck... God damn. What did I get myself into?"

I grinned at him mischievously. "Guess you should have wrapped it twice, huh bitch."

Lunch came and we ate in a comfortable conversation, trying to figure out how a year ago, we were somewhere, and now, we were here. I showed Em how to help Alyssa eat, and he cut her sandwich up with a knife, then had to cut the pieces down, because they were too big. He poured way too much ketchup on her plate, but she didn't mind, swirling her fries through it, making tiny little circles. I noticed Masen began to stir a lot, so I moved my plate to my right and took him out of his carseat, leaning him against my chest with his head on my shoulder.

"Maybe he needs to burp?" Emmett said with a shrug. "Do they do that at that age?"

"Yes but I don't know if he needs to... Bella nursed him before I left. Do they burp if they ate a while ago?"

"How the hell should I know?"

We both looked at Alyssa, who shrugged at us and stuck a fry in her mouth. I started to pat him repeatedly, looking through his diaper bag at the same time. "...Shit."

"What?"

"I don't have his-" My voice cut off as something warm and wet flew over and onto my left shoulder, and I closed my eyes, stopping cold, "...burp towel."

"Did he just... throw up on you?" Emmett asked in a whisper. I nodded, still not moving. Alyssa giggled, covering her ketchup coated mouth. "Man, that's sick," Emmett shivered.

"Shit," I whispered, unsure of what to do. "What do I do?"

"Uh, clean it up?"

"How?"

"Go to the bathroom?"

"There's no changing tables in the men's restroom."

"Go to da giwls bathwoom," Alyssa shrugged. "Dat's what Aunt Macey does with her baby."

"I have to go to the _women's _bathroom?" I asked her in disbelief.

She shrugged again.

Emmett smirked at me, lounging back in his chair. "Guess you should have brought the spit-up towel, huh bitch."

I went into the ladies restroom, my heart beating out of my chest, and found the changing table that pulled down from the wall. "Okay..." I muttered, laying him on it and looking through his bag. I grabbed a few towels and doused it with water, before cleaning off my shirt. "Masen... You're just not going to make this easy on me, are you?" I said as he started to cry.

I exhaled, trying to keep my cool. This was when I got nervous and wanted Bella. Not that she'd know much better than I would at this stage. But having her there was my comfort. I walked over to him and cleaned off his chin, and he kept crying. "What is it?" I asked him with a shrug. He wailed louder.

I started tugging on my hair. The longer I stood there and debated options with myself, the longer he cried. His diaper was clean. He wasn't feverish.

An older lady with white hair walked in and stared at me, trying to figure out what I was doing in there. I smiled politely and pointed. "Sorry... No changing table in the men's restroom."

She walked over slowly, peering down at my son. "...Yours?"

"Yes ma'am."

She smiled politely, "Newborn?"

"Yes."

"..._Very _handsome."

"Thank you."

"Gas."

"I beg your pardon?" I chuckled nervously.

"His face, " she said kindly, pointing at his crumpled expression. "He must have gas in his tummy."

"Oh. Oh God... Masen, I'm sorry... Shhh.... Crud... Uh..."

I began to panic, but she pat my arm, shaking her head, "Wiggle him a bit," she winked at me. "It'll help."

I nodded, thanking her, as she left.

"I bet you want your mama," I said as I picked him up and gently did as she instructed, "...Yeah... I want your mama too right about now."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

When Edward called me to tell me he was on his way home and was brining me lunch, I noticed a bit of irritation in his voice.

"Are you all right?" I asked him.

"Yeah... I just... He has gas, I think."

"Masen?"

"Yeah."

"It'll be okay, come home... We'll figure it out."

"I feel so bad though... I mean, it's got to suck to have gas and be unable to fart or burp or something. I feel like an awful person."

"Awe, Edward," I chuckled softly, rolling to my other side in the bed, "it'll be all right. Are you almost here?"

"Yeah... It's just... I wanted to do this by myself and give you rest, but I think I need you."

"Okay," I nodded, enjoying the fact that he was now the panicked one, and I was the calm one, since our roles were reversed last night. "I'm here... Be careful coming home."

He hung up and I sighed, looking up at my ceiling fan, then over at Cora, who was laying beside me and blinking. I noticed she'd been laying around with me, anytime I did. She didn't want to leave my side, and that wasn't normal for her. Normally, she was all Edward's. But Spendor, he wasn't around too much yesterday, I think he was jealous and not adjusting well to Masen's arrival. I guessed everyone's roles were reversing.

I noticed Emmett come in behind Edward, holding Alyssa's hand. She ran toward me and hugged my leg. Edward gave me an apologetic expression and I smiled, hugging Alyssa, before Edward stole her away and Emmett helped me get Masen out of the seat. "I think Edward's panicking," Emmett whispered to me.

I grinned at him. "I can see that."

Emmett used our house phone to call Colleen, and though I wondered why he was with Alyssa in the first place, I heard him say a thousand "Are you sures?" over the phone, and looked to Edward as I rocked Masen in my arms.

He frowned, "Long story. In a nutshell, she's his."

I gawked at him and Edward freaked out, thinking I was going to drop Masen, reaching out his arms to me.

"What?!"

"Yeah... Told you, long story. It's true. Don't say anything now, just let him be. Maybe he'll explain it."

I shook my head slowly, dazed. Masen seemed to calm down quickly, and I wondered why Edward was so irritated and stressed out. It didn't take but three minutes to get Masen to burp for me. Strange.

As I sat on the couch with Masen, Emmett dropped down beside me, exhaling. "She said I could keep her longer, since we're with ya'll. Hope you don't mind company."

"We don't mind."

"Because I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"We don't either," I giggled, looking down at my beautiful son, and glancing at his jacket, before rolling my eyes. I hadn't seen it before. "Really... Edward... He's only a few days old and you've all ready got him addicted to the bottle?"

"True trademark that he's my son," he winked at me as he sat on his knees in front of Alyssa and showed her a few of Masen's toys that she might want to play with.

As Edward played with Alyssa and I tended to Masen, Emmett began to explain to me about his and Colleen's past.

I was pretty much shell-shocked the entire time.

I couldn't believe Colleen didn't tell me this.

Alyssa looked over to Edward, then to Emmett, then to Edward, then to Emmett, then stood up, "I... have to potty."

Edward started to get up and help her, then he looked over at Emmett, and held out her hand to him. "Here, _daddy,_" he smirked, "she has to potty."

Emmett swallowed and stood up, taking her hand slowly, and walking her to the bathroom.

"Edward, go easy on him," I said as my husband sat beside me and grinned to himself.

"No way. He's teased me for so long now. It's payback time for that little boy."

"Yeah, but this is different," I argued with a frown. "He has four years to catch up on, apparently."

"So? I had four years to catch up on with you and that didn't stop him."

I sighed and looked down to my sleeping son, whispering, "Please don't be as stubborn as your daddy."

* * *

_**The Next Day  
Baby Masen: 5 Days Old**_

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Alice smiled as she walked into the restaurant, wearing a knee-length black pencil skirt with a slit in the back, and a bright yellow frilly shirt with a black belt wrapped around her petite waist. Her hair was pinned back, a few strands falling, her bangs covering one side of her eyes.

"Hey, Jazz."

I stood up and kissed her cheek as she took her seat, and helped push in her chair, before moving back around to mine. "How are you?"

"I'm wonderful," she smiled, her eyes shining through, "how are you doing? You look handsome."

I looked down toward my simple black shirt and dress jeans. "Thank you. I'm good as well. Lots of new things happening."

She nodded, folding her hands together. "I know."

I ordered us both water and a glass of white wine, then turned back toward her. "How's Emmett holding up?"

She shrugged, "He's... confused, mostly. He's pretty quiet around the house, and that's saying something. I think I've seen the man quiet maybe... twice in my life? Three times max. So... yeah."

"What was your reaction to it?"

She shrugged. "The night Bella gave birth and he found out, I... hugged him, first. We hugged for a long while. I think I was in shock, because Emmett is so cautious when it comes to sex, so there was a part of me that felt really awful for him, not knowing if it was truly his or if Colleen was confused or just flat-out lying. Because, though the little girl herself couldn't be considered a mistake, the condom ripping and him not knowing about it for four years was... pretty intense. But I think after he calmed down and we talked about things he could do, I think it made him a little more comfortable with the idea. I'm not sure how he slept though... He had to be up at his dad's club, _Genre_, at the crack of dawn."

"He works a lot."

"He does," she smiled. "All he's ever wanted was to own his own business, be that entrepreneur, prove he was something to his dad."

"I hear his dad's quite the dick."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you could say that. Very mentally abusive. But... that's the one thing that he, Edward, and myself had in common. No fatherly support. We could bond that way."

I noticed immediately that she didn't even flinch when she said Edward's name. We'd had many conversations on the phone these past few months, and the first month was hard for her, but now... She seemed almost oblivious to it. "Strange that the weaknesses in ourselves are the things that can bond us with someone else."

She nodded, sipping her wine. "Tell me what you've been up to."

"Working," I smirked. "I didn't think I was going to get hired in, but apparently the English teacher, Mrs. Crocker, will be leaving mid-November on maternity leave, so I will officially be a working History teacher this year, by then."

"Oh my gosh, Jazz!" she squealed, clapping her hands, "That is AMAZING!" She leaned over the table, careful to not knock anything over, and kissed my cheek, her familiar scent crashing over me. "I am so proud of you!"

"Nah, it's just luck of the draw, really. Had to wait for someone to get knocked up."

"Well, that happens. But still, at least you got in!"

"I know," I grinned. "I can't wait."

We ordered our food, then immediately turned back to each other. "So tell me," she said, her palm holding the side of her face, "have you been seeing anyone?"

"Why do you ask?"

She shrugged. "We haven't discussed that part of our lives since... well... we _were _that part in each other's lives," she giggled calmly. "I'm curious."

"Should we discuss it?"

"You tell me."

"You go first."

She shook her head quickly, determined. "No. I don't need a man to make me feel good. That's what I'm learning."

I nodded slowly. "Self-assurance is good."

"It's more than that though. I'm learning more about myself, every day. What I should do, shouldn't do, could eat, shouldn't eat, can say, could never say before... And truthfully, this past week... It's been eye-opening. I don't know what it is. I can't describe it. Maybe it was Masen's birth or seeing it, but... in a sick, weird, strange way, seeing him in their arms, the combination of their eyes and their hair and their skin complexion in the form of another tiny human being... It was as if a weight had lifted off my chest. I went into that hospital thinking all the worst things, that I shouldn't be there. That they would be upset with me, that they didn't know how much progress I was making and would ultimately think me being there was masochistic or whatever, But they were so kind to me. For that brief second, they welcomed me with their smiles as if they were welcoming me back with open arms, and... it is something to look forward to, when I fully heal. It makes me think that some friendships can possibly be salvaged."

"Wow," I exhaled, blinking and smiling, "that's definitely amazing to think about."

"I know," she exclaimed giddily. "I swear, I haven't felt this light in God knows how long. I feel as if I could walk on water. I feel my strength coming back. I feel confident. I haven't felt this good about the way things could be heading with my life in years. It's as if the weight of the world is off of my shoulders."

"Have you talked to Edward since this revelation of yours?"

She shook her head slowly, "No. I'm allowing them to focus on what's important to them, what should be important. I want to tell him my plans. I want a chance to tell him goodbye. But I don't want to spoil what's going on in their own lives when I tell them."

"What do you mean, tell him goodbye?"

She took a deep breath and rounded her shoulders, studying my eyes before she replied, "I'm moving away."

Our appetizer arrived and we pulled ourselves back, since we'd been leaning over the table subconsciously, and cleared our throats.

"Thank you," Alice said to the waitress, before turning back to look at me.

I was speechless.

She smiled wearily.

"What do you mean... you're moving _away_?" I asked astonished. "How _far _away?"

"New York City."

"What?! When?!"

She chewed her lip and swallowed, looking toward her plate. "In a week."

"_One week_?!" I realized the sound of my voice caught the attention of a few other customers. But I couldn't help the shock emanating from my body. "Why?!"

"I need to get the furthest away from here possible for a while. I need to start fresh. I need to find myself."

"You _are _finding yourself! Look how far you've come!"

She shook her head slowly, calmly, even though I was clearly riled. "No. I need to go further. I need to be on my own for a while. I need... to stop depending on Emmett, like I did with Edward."

"Emmett doesn't care! You're his best friend!"

"_I _care, Jasper," she whispered softly, in an attempt for me to lower my voice too. "_I _care. I love them both so damn much, with every single fiber in my being. Those two men, they're what lights up my life... They're it. And I love Edward and I think about him, every day, still. Is it the same intensity of love? I don't think so. But, then again, I'm not around him like I used to be. I really think Masen being here was a huge step for us along our individual paths, but I don't want to take any chances with him yet. I don't want to hurt him, or Bella, or Masen, or myself. I care too much. And with Emmett... I just..."

She looked down and closed her eyes. "I'm really starting to love him. Not necessarily in a relationship way, but... We've grown excruciatingly close these past few months, closer than ever before, and... I can't go from one man to another. From one friend to another. From one _best _friend to another... It's not fair to him. He needs to be cut loose from me, figure out his own path for a while. He's got a lot to deal with, with Alyssa and Colleen now. It's the perfect time for me to go and finally do this."

I shut my eyes and shook my head, trying to ignore the burning in my chest. "You're going to rip their hearts out, Alice. Edward and Emmett both... They love you almost more than they love themselves. I know that to be true. Trust me, I do. You're going to fucking crush them, and in the midst of it all, you're going to crush yourself as well."

She nodded, and our eyes met again, both sympathetic and yearning, before she said brokenly, "...That's something we're all going to have to live with, isn't it?"

"What about me? Did you stop to think of what you'd be doing to me?"

She reached over and patted my hand, a smile breaking through her tears. "I love you, so much, Jasper. You were that first really _great _guy... This dream guy that turned my world into something amazing, if only for a while... You were too much, too good, and I knew I didn't deserve you from the moment I found you. Not with all the drama in my own life. It would have never worked out under those circumstances. I'm sorry for causing you pain. I know it hurts... Believe me.... But... You've got to move on too, Jazz. We _all _do. Not permanently, but... we're too dependent on each other right now. It's going to be hard on everyone... And... I'll always be here for you guys, if any of you need me. I'll come back in a heartbeat to support whomever. But... I can't be in this town anymore. Not right now. I know what I need to do, and no one is going to change my mind. I can't let them. I'm sorry."

I scoffed and shook my head, realizing I was crying as well. I didn't know what to say to her.

Like she said, I wasn't going to change her mind.

Nor would Emmett.

Nor would Edward, even.

...So what would be the point?

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

Masen. Was. Still. Asleep.

I stared up at my bedroom ceiling and smiled to myself. The past few days had been interesting, and enlightening, and beautiful. But... the selfish side was always reminding me that I missed my wife.

I knew she was sore. I knew she was tired. I knew that I was no longer first in her book. She was mine, yes, even with Masen... But the selfish side explained to me that she looked at him and her entire world lit up. And when she looked at me, she seemed _almost _there, but maybe not all the way there anymore. But Masen was new and that was okay. He was our baby, and that's okay. I could step aside. I wanted him and her to come first. But the arrogant, asshole, cocky, prick side of me chanted one thing whenever I thought about Bella, and that one thing was: _ I want my fucking wife, and I have to wait five to eight more weeks. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit._

Did sex rule the main confines of my universe? Again, in the spirit of fuckall honesty, yes. Sex with Bella ruled everything. I thought about it all the time. Sure there were temporary distractions, _like work_, and beautiful additions, _like Masen. _ But, when it came down to it, sex was just something that I craved more than oxygen. I'm a man, and I think like a man. I may be respectful to her and not tell her three-fourths of the dirty shit I think to myself. But she at least knows that I'm a man, and that's a start.

I closed my eyes, and thought about how our lives would be after Masen found some sort of normal routine, and things could be calmer. When he grew up just a little, and I'd have alone time with her again... I fantasized and fantasized about all the things I had planned for her when it came to our sex life. I wanted to explore things, do more, say more, _feel_ more. Fifty years of sex with this woman wouldn't be enough for me. I knew that to be true, deep in my heart. I would never get over it. I would never stop wanting her. I would never stop needing her. It's not that I'm a sex addict. But I am a Bella addict. When I was without her, sex was just something to do to kill time and try to kill the pain. But now, _with her_, it's much, much more.

Was it _just _about sex? No. But nothing was just about anything when it came to Bella. Because anything we did, whether it be merely waking up and starting the coffee for the other person so they wouldn't have to rush around to get ready for work, or helping each other with work when we brought it home, or making love, or fucking each other senseless until we're blue in the face, it was never about one specific thing. It was about creating and hoarding that connection we had, savoring it, milking it for the last drop. Neither of us wanted to lose that, because quite frankly, what we had was fucking beautiful the way it was.

The sad thing was, Bella gave it to me the other day. I'd gone eight fucking weeks without it, barely, and she gave me that feel of her body again, the feeling of her heart pounding through her frame and against my chest. And one thing I've learned is that when you have an addiction for anything like I am addicted to my girl, and you try to hold off, and then you have the slightest taste, it blows every last bit of resistance you might have built completely to hell. You're fucked.

Exhaling slowly, I turned my face to my right, to notice the basinet a few feet away from our bed, Masen sleeping soundly inside of it. Motions moved the covers, and then Bella rolled to my side, her lips on the top of my ear as she whispered, "What are you thinking about so hard about over there?"

I smirked and reached for her, "You... and the fact that he's asleep."

"I know, it's about time," she smiled, kissing the side of my face. "What were you thinking about me?"

I turned my head slowly so I could peer into her caramel eyes. "I was thinking about being inside of you, actually. I miss it. Dragging my tongue and my body from the inside-out and back, and I can't wait to do it again."

She pulled her face back an inch, clearly thrown by my revelation.

I cocked my eyebrow, nodding toward my grey sweatpants, and smirked as I watched her eyes trail down my body, toward my growing erection. The physical effect she had on me could not be helped.

Bella exhaled angrily. "Edward... Now... _Why _do you want to go and do that, knowing we can't have sex?"

"I'm sorry," I chuckled innocently, "he came out to play on his own, I didn't-"

"Ugh!" she scoffed quietly to keep her voice down, shaking her head. "This sucks! Why do I have to be sore?!"

"Because God is punishing me."

"Punishing _you_?" she quirked.

"Yes. He said, '_Edward, I'm finally going to give you a good life, with the woman of your dreams, and the perfect child... and since you can't fucking have everything and not be me, God himself, then I have to punish you in some way'_... Then He shouted, '_Boom! No sex for eight more weeks. That ought to do it_.'"

She giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. "You're stupid."

"I'm dead serious."

She groaned, moving down and pushing her face into my black t-shirt, inhaling my scent. "I hate this too. Do you think this is any easier for me?"

"I'm... not sure. Probably. You're the girl. Girls have it easier."

"It's not."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

I dropped my hand toward her back and patted her on her head like she was a puppy. "There there... We'll make it."

She growled, her hot breath going through my shirt, onto the hairs of my treasure trail, "Edward, right now, the only time I want you to _touch _my hair is when you're jerking my head back, biting my neck, and fucking me like an animal, as hard as you _possibly _can without ripping me into two."

My eyes bugged out of my head and my mouth dropped open. _What the..._

She pulled her head off my stomach and looked over at me, nothing but mischief and evil in her eyes as she grinned, "Gotcha back."

"You... fucking... suck."

"Shhh, don't wake up Masen," she teased. _God she was evil._

"You _really _suck," I whispered, glaring pointedly at her. "I almost hate you for putting that image in my mind."

She smirked, "Serves you right, Mr. Arrogant."

"I'm only arrogant because I know I'll always win. I deserve my arrogance," I hissed back at her, "I _earned _it."

"How's that?"

"Because when I fuck you repeatedly, you don't shut your damn mouth once."

Her mouth dropped open, a smile trying to come out still, and her eyes grew wide. She patted me hard on my stomach, causing me to wince and chuckle at the same time. "Edward _Cullen_."

"What?" I laughed, "It's true."

"What am I going to do with you?!"

"Fuck me, soon. Hopefully," I winked.

She growled, pushing off of me so she fell on the bed on her back. Then she threw her legs over my stomach, so that we made an 'L' shape, and stared up at the ceiling with me. "Abstinence sucks."

"Yep."

"That's it... When I heal... We're having sex multiple times a day. Anytime we get a chance, we're doing it. I don't care if you make me so sore that I won't want to walk. I don't care if I'm on my period. I don't care about anything. I want you, inside me, buried deep, all the time. I want your fingers, and your tongue, and your dick. We're neve-"

"_Bella_," I growled, covering myself with my right hand, "you're making it _hurt_, it's so fucking hard right now. Quit it."

"I can't," she half-laughed, half-whimpered, "I'm aching too. You're not the only one."

I inhaled slowly, using my free arm to cover my eyes. "Maybe we shouldn't think about sex right now. Bad idea."

"Too late," she replied, her voice musically sing-song. _ Shit. She was going to taunt my ass_. "...All I see in my head was that day on our honeymoon in the Maldives when you let me sit on your face when you were laying on the couch, and all I feel is your hot tongue slipping in and out of my wet-"

I cut her off with a loud growl, and before I knew what I was doing, I had flipped my body and turned sideways, up on my knees beside her body, my mouth an inch from hers. "Listen to me. Seriously. I can't fucking take this right now. We've got to stop talking about this or I'm going to make you one _seriously _sore woman in two seconds."

She smiled up at me, not frightened in the slightest, before licking her plump lips, the _fucking _cocktease, "...Mmmm... Make sure to remember this for later, Edward, cause... to tell you the truth, one day, I kind of want it rough."

I was starting to get uncomfortable, my erection pushed so far into my pants, and as soon as the words left her mouth, my first instinct was to not only bend down and bite the side of her neck, but to also cover her mouth, so she wouldn't scream and wake up our resting child. She moaned as I gave in to that instinct, sucking on her salty skin, laving it with my tongue, before nipping at it with my teeth. Her skin was flushed, I could see it clearly, and she tasted incredible. But she couldn't do much to stop me with the way I was hovering over her, holding her wrists up above her head with my right hand.

Bella moaned, her teeth squeezing my fingers together, heavy breaths coming through her nose. I adjusted my body a little, forcing myself to resist straddling her, to avoid that center I craved so much, and I brushed my hand across the thigh of her juicy couture pants and the heat there reminded me of how much hotter it would be in other places. "Fuck Bella," I gasped into her neck, "I'm losing the last of my restraint here." I dropped my hand from her mouth and pushed my face back into her neck, my saliva on her skin touching my nose, and inhaled her scent. "And you're not fucking helping one damn bit."

"I'm sorry," she panted, her chest rising and falling beneath mine, "I can't... I just... I wanted... to get you back for being so... narcissistic."

"It worked." I grabbed her hand, pinned it against my erection, and began to push myself against her palm. "Do you see how fucking hard you've made me? You're _killing _me, Bella."

She nodded and I pushed against her hand again, and a soft mewl left her lips. "Edward... We've got to stop."

I wasn't touching her hips or her waist, any part of her torso. I knew those were off-limits at all costs. I was beside her, but still, I had to ask. "Are you too sore? Am I hurting you?" _Ahhh, reasoning was slowly coming back now._

"No," she shook her head quickly, "but you're making me throb... _Ungh_, I want you, damn it. Shit." _And all reasoning was now fucking gone again._

I kept pushing into her hand, fighting with myself not to attack her as I bit down on her collar bone, releasing it quickly. "Bella... We can't do anything. You're too sore, you know you are. Seriously... I can't... I want you... fucking now."

"I don't know," she panted, shaking her head quickly. "I-I... I mean, you're right, I really can't... I don't know."

We knew there was no possible way. I knew there was nothing we would be able to do, and I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that I was being a fucking ass and I needed to quit... if only my dick would catch up to those thoughts. "I don't know either."

I moved her shirt up off her stomach, all common sense out the window, and as soon as I saw a hint of her blue cotton panties beneath the drawstring of her pants, I pushed my face into her stomach, inhaling greedily. "You smell so good. Just let me..." I tried to calm myself down. To quit. "J-Just let me... Um..." _Stop, Edward._

As I moved her hand away from my body and began to breathe again, she became feisty. "No, don't," she demanded as she moved her hand back, and grabbed the strings to my pants, yanking roughly and shoving her hand inside.

She gripped me firmly, causing me to twitch, and I was right back to being horny as hell. "Fuck, Bella... Don't stop."

"I'm not," she panted, her heart beating through her chest as I licked through her shirt. "Mmm, you feel good, baby."

_God I love it when she calls me that!_ Her hand was soft and tiny and perfect, pumping me hard until I was gasping, her thumb every once in a while gathering the fluid at the top of my head and rubbing it around. I knew it wouldn't take too long at all, I was too riled up. Every motion sent me higher, brought me closer. My heart was in my throat, pounding, threatening to jump out of my mouth. "Fuck, close," I gasped, moving to where I could bury my face into her clammy neck again. Her smell sent me overboard. "Almost... shit... Alm-"

And then Masen woke up. Crying, screaming, to let us know that he was demanding our sudden attention.

Bella's hand stopped instantly, losing everything she'd worked for with me. I fell over her chest sideways, making sure to catch my weight on my arms, effectively making a bridge over Bella's heaving chest, all common sense, all realities flooding back. "Fuck me!"

He wailed louder because I had shouted.

We had no choice but to wait. This was proof.

I was going to have blue balls. And my son was a cockblocker.

"Edward," she panted, "I can't get to him when you're on top of me."

I nodded slowly.

"He's still crying."

"I hear him," I exhaled, my heart still in my throat. Her hand was still on my dick. _Christ_.

"Edward... I can get him, if you need to... you know..."

"...I'll get him."

"I'm sorry baby," her voice sounded sad.

I sealed my eyes shut as I groaned and pushed off of her, walking uncomfortably toward the basinet. "It's probably a good thing. I'll manage."

She bit her thumb as she curled to her side in fetal position, watching me, crossing her legs carefully to alleviate some pressure for herself even though she was in pain.

I had to immediately walk out of the room, taking Masen with me. Or else Bella and I were going to kill each other.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Alice came into my house wearing a nice skirt and shirt, her hair pulled back.

"Damn girl," I slipped down the hall in my socks, snapping on my belt. "Why you so hot for?"

"Had a lunch date with Jazz."

"Oh. How'd that go?"

"Good," she smiled, sitting up at the bar, crossing her legs and pulling her skirt to keep it from riding up. "What are you up to?"

"Just good?" I asked, ignoring her question directed to me.

"Yeah. Just catching up."

"Did he tell you if he was fucking Colleen?"

"Um... no."

"Did you ask?"

"Not directly," she shook her head. "None of my business anymore. I just want him to be happy."

"None of us want to see our exes happy. That's why they're our exes. We're supposed to be the best they can get, so by not being with us, they shouldn't be happy."

She cocked her head, studying my expression as I fiddled with my shirt. "Em, please tell me you don't really think that way."

"Oh, I do."

"You're seriously disturbed."

"I just speak it as it is. People always say, 'I_ want you to be happy, I'm no good for you, you deserve better'_, but we all know that bullshit. That's just speeches, sugarcoating shit, so we don't feel that bad for dumping them. We're making our own asses feel better, not theirs."

She rolled her eyes, pulling a few cookies from my jar. "I swear, God must have slipped, busted his ass, hit his head, and lost a few brain cells before he created you. Because you ain't right."

I grinned and threw my peach Abercrombie shirt on, tucking the front behind my buckle clip.

"Where are you going?"

"Colleen called me and asked if I'd meet her at this little cocktail bar, so we could get a drink and talk about Alyssa and what we want to do about it."

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes."

"Is it just you and her going to be there?"

"Yes. Why?"

She bit her lip, looking like she was hiding a secret. "I just... worry. That's all."

"Worried that I'm going to fuck her?"

"Possibly. You're you, and from what I understand, Colleen's not shy either."

"Well, we've all ready got one kid apparently. I've learned my lesson in that."

"Don't make her cheat on her boyfriend, Em."

"Jasper's probably got that covered, Alleycat."

Sighing, she shoved an Oreo cookie in her mouth and chewed in silence, wiping the crumbs from the corner of her lips. She swallowed before she spoke again. "Are you wearing that?"

I looked down. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"It takes a confident man to wear a salmon colored shirt."

"It's peach."

"It's salmon."

"Besides, I am confident," I smiled, flashing my dimples, "and this looks good on me."

"Definitely shows off your muscles. I think you're trying to impress her."

"Alice, why are you on my dick tonight?"

"So she won't be."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I don't want you hurt. She likes Makin. Who knows what she's doing with Jasper. You don't need to get caught up in that mix any more than you all ready are. I'm asking you to please, please, _please _be on your best behavior tonight."

"If I didn't know you so well Alice, I'd say you were crushing on me and are jealous."

"Please. No."

"You know you want my body, and you think I'm sexy. Come on baby let me know," I sang, spinning around in a circle in my socks.

"I definitely don't want your body. You're only sexy to me when I'm drunk. And the only thing I'm letting you know is you're either going to get shot down or screw up your chances if you go there and put on the pimp moves."

I grinned, leaning over the bar, closer to her. "Al, are you... admitting that you think I'm a pimp?"

"No," she exhaled. "I'm admitting that you're stupid."

"Stupid is a stupid does."

"And you're it."

"I won't fuck up," I chuckled, wiping my hands down the front of my shirt to make it fit right. "I promise."

"We'll see," she sang to me.

"Seriously, Al. The last thing I want to do is screw up the shot I have to finally get to know... my …Alyssa." I met her eyes directly so she could see exactly how serious that statement was.

"Okay, Em," she smiled in quiet encouragement. "Oh, and don't forget that I want to talk to you about something important tonight. So don't be plastered when you get home tonight, and make sure it's tonight, not early tomorrow morning, got it?"

"Yes mother."

"Better get used to the nights being in at a decent hour if you're going to be a daddy Emmett. Goes with it."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I found Colleen sitting at the short side of the bar, wearing some sort of strapless, shiny, grey or someshit colored dress, a black jacket, black knee-high boots, and lots of those silver wrist cuffs thingies that take up half your arm. Oh, and a beady necklace. Her hair was down and curled in spirals, and she had a glass full of ice in front of her.

She stood up when I walked over to her, my heart beating out of my chest, and kissed my cheek as I kissed hers, before we took our seats.

"What are you drinking?"

"Triple shot of vodka and tonic, on the rocks."

"Damn girl," I chuckled, looking at my watch. "It's barely past five."

"Long day," she shrugged with a smile. "You look nice. I like that shirt."

"Thank you. What color would you say it is?"

"Uh..." she studied it, tilting her head, "it's kind of dark in here... Peach, maybe?"

"Ha, told Alice it wasn't salmon." I grinned as the bartender came over to me, "Uh..."

She looked over at me, fiddling with the lime on the rim of her glass, "What will it be?"

"Just a beer for now. Guinness, if you have it."

The bartender walked away and Colleen giggled. "Don't like liquor?"

"I'm under strict instructions to be on my best behavior tonight."

"Who gave you that rule?"

"Alice."

"Oh," she nodded, stirring her drink. "Ohhhhh," she said again, "I see."

I looked over at her, and she was smiling from ear to ear, amusement in her eyes.

"No. No, no, no it's not like that! We're not... I mean, she and I are just friends."

She giggled, waving her hands. "No judgments on my end."

I nodded to the bartender as he handed me my beer, "I swear, it's not like that."

"You don't have to explain anything to me."

"I know, but I don't want you to think I'm banging her."

She bit her glossed lip, staring at the glass still. "It's really no concern of mine if you were."

"Jasper would kill me if that rumor ever got out. I know you two are buddy-buddy."

"We are, but why would I tell him that? He's not with Alice anymore."

"I know," I took a sip, looking around at the crowd. "Let's talk about something else though. How was your day?"

"Eventful. Yours?"

"Boring. Why?"

"Makin. Why yours?"

"Nothing to do. What did he do?"

"Threaten to break up with me. Why was there nothing to do?"

"Because every one else was busy. Why? Because of me?"

"Something like that."

"Oh. Sorry."

She shrugged, "it happens. He's apparently a very insecure man, I've noticed."

"Quite a large curveball has been thrown at him. I'm sure it'll j-"

"He's been distant before the ball got thrown though. It's okay. I'd much rather learn about it now, before we go any further. If he can't handle me and the wrapping I come in, then it's best to get it out of the way before I get my hopes up that he's someone I might want to spend my time with."

"Are you... just unhappy?"

"Lately, yeah. I keep thinking it'll pass, we'll get better, but... it never does."

"Think he's fucking around or something?"

"No," she exhaled. "I don't think so. I mean maybe, but... He just seems to be trying to find a way out, I guess. First it was bills, then it was '_can we really afford all of this if we do it'_, then it was that he liked where his place was, and now it's you and Alyssa... I think he's chickening out."

"Are you giving him a reason to have doubts?"

She looked over at me, narrowing her eyes, the sweet girl gone and the sassy one coming out full-force. "Why don't you just ask me what you want to know, Emmett?"

I gulped, wondering if it was time to duck and cover. "...Are you fucking around on him? With... his best friend, perhaps?"

She didn't even blink, hastily replying, "No."

I nodded, swallowing again. "That's good."

"I find it very difficult to believe that no one understands how a boy and a girl can just be close."

"I think Edward and Alice ruined that type of scenario for everyone. If people only knew half the times that boy led that girl on. I swear, he's my boy, but I was front row to witness to all the times she'd be sitting in his lap and he'd be holding her and not letting her get up and just all these little things that led her to believe he wanted more than what he did -- if he didn't truly want more in the first place. But yeah, I guess people see you with Jasper, his arm around your chair, you guys connected at the hip... People are going to assume shit."

"I like him," she shrugged, motioning to the bartender she wanted a refill, "he's a wonderful man. He's always been around, since Bella and I have been friends."

"Which makes it worse-looking in the long run for us innocent bystanders."

She giggled, relaxing a bit. "Besides, he's Bella's ex. I would never do that to her. Girls don't do that."

"I doubt Bella would care. She's so far stuck up Edward's ass, it ain't even funny. This baby is going to make it worse I think."

She punched me hard on my right arm, her ring making contact with a bone somewhere. "You're such an asshole!"

"I'm serious! That girl, I swear, I love Bella, I do. But... she's in a whole other dimension with E. I bet he could fuck someone in front of her and she'd let it go this time."

"No she wouldn't. She's a strong girl and I don't care if Edward was Jesus himself, she wouldn't stick around for that shit. But, I don't think Edward will cheat on her now... He better not, if he knows what's good for him. I'll get there before Bella gets to him."

I chuckled, finishing off my beer. "You're quite the loaded pistol, Colleen."

"I know. I have to be. I don't have much I can lose."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

While Bella and Masen hung out with her mother, I decided to swing by work, turn in my payroll, and thank Aubrey again for helping me with Masen. She was standing behind the nurses' desk, writing on a whiteboard, her hair about to fall down from the pen it was wrapped around on the back of her head.

I hushed Bree, who was sitting there answering calls, and tiptoed around, before grabbing Aubrey. "HEY!" I shouted, pulling her around.

She jumped and swung, almost hitting me in the face, her eyes and mouth open in shock. "You... _mother_... _EDWARD_!"

I smirked, making sure she was level before I released her. "I'm sorry. You looked like you were sleeping on the job. Thought I'd wake you up."

"Remember, I still own _your _job."

"Yeah, but I'm off the clock."

"You're still on the property," she exhaled, rounding her shoulders. "What's up?"

"Wanted to turn in my payroll and give you something."

"What?"

I leaned over, giving her a quick hug, making sure to hold on just long enough that it didn't seem to everyone around like I was banging my superior.

She patted me on the back, before adjusting the collar of my blue and green plaid button down that had caught on the pen in her hair, "Well... um... thank you. What was that for exactly?"

"Masen."

She giggled, rolling her eyes. "You two made Masen, I just helped you bring him home safe."

"Bella and I are very grateful to you."

"Tell her I say thank you as well. And tell yourself that kindness won't get you a raise."

I smirked and shook my head. "You're impossible."

"I know. I guess I should be thanking you for the hug though. Now I smell like... whatever it is you're wearing... a man. Should help me attract _another _man."

"You're still technically married."

"And my husband is still technically in Hawaii doing his business partner, Shavaghn. So... that sums that one up."

I leaned against the file cabinet, placing my sunglasses on the top of my head. "Work always appears so lame without me around."

"Yeah, well, that's because you're the pretty boy around here with the attitude that keeps it interesting."

"Pretty boy?" I cocked an eyebrow. "Doesn't that term qualify as sexual harassment? Kick in some clause about sexual innuendo?"

"Is giving your boss a hug sexual harassment?" she quipped back, not missing a beat.

"Not sure," I shrugged. "If it was, would that mean we're going down together?"

She opened her mouth to smart off to me, then closed it, shaking her head. "I'm... not even going to touch that one."

I chuckled. "Where's everyone?"

"Scotty's in medic, Anna is cleaning some of the exam equipment, and Aimee... I'm not sure where she is now..."

"Why's that?"

She looked around, then tilted her head toward her office. I followed her in and closed the door, before taking a seat on the opposite side of the desk from her. "This does not leave my office."

"Alright."

Aubrey nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "She was in a pretty serious confrontation with someone. I tried to tell her not to come in today, but she begged me. Said she needed the money."

"Who? Someone here?"

"No, and not at a liberty to say."

"When did this happen?"

"Late last night, apparently."

"How serious was the confrontation?" I asked, my stomach knotting, though I wasn't sure why. I knew it didn't have anything to do with me. That was old news.

She pretended to zip her lips. "I'm not going any further, I shouldn't have even told you as much as I did."

"Come on," I replied smoothly, bending forward to put my elbows on my knees, giving her my crooked smile, "I'm not technically here. You can talk to me."

"Ask her yourself if you want to know. It's none of my business to tell you anymore."

"Where is she?"

"Last I heard from her was about ten minutes ago. She's not allowed to see patients today so I've been having her do odd jobs. But that gets pretty boring when your by yourself in the file room. She said she was going to the smoke shack."

"Aimee doesn't smoke." She raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She shook her head slowly, a smile on her face that I didn't like to see. "I heard something about that."

"Heard something about what?" _Shit_. "Her not smoking?"

"Just that she used to go out to the smoke shack with you way back when, even though she doesn't smoke."

"Was that a problem?"

"Not unless it _causes _a problem."

"It won't. It didn't."

"Okay," she let it go with a motion of her hand. "Well, that's the last place I know of, so maybe you'll see her if you go down there."

I stood up and handed her my paperwork, "Alright. Here's this. I'll see you."

"Okay. Give that baby a kiss on the cheek for me."

"Will do!"

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I noticed her sitting on the far end of a bench in the empty shack. Her legs crossed, her chin in her hands, facing away from me. Her long blond hair streamed down her back, curling up at the end. "Hey Aims," I said as I entered, walking around to where she was.

She instantly stiffened and turned away from me. "Oh. Edward. S-Scared me."

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," she answered sharply. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see everyone."

"Why?" Her voice was shaky, like she was scared of me. "What do you want?"

"To say hello. Everything... alright?" I leaned around, trying to see her, but she moved further away, almost cornering herself.

"Yeah."

My heart began to beat faster as I took a step closer. "Aimee?"

"I'm fine, Edward," she replied hastily. "Please go away." Nervously, I took another step, reaching my hand to her hair. I moved what was covering her face, and instantly noticed a scratch on her nose. She tried to cringe away from me, but my other hand caught her chin, pulling her face toward me. Her right eye was swollen and red, dark rings below it, a gash in the corner. She also had a faint brown bruise on her cheek and what looked like fingerprints on the side of her neck. Instantly, I felt the heat rise up on the back of my neck. She jerked away from me, almost cowardly, and slid the opposite way on the bench. "I'm fine. I asked you to _leave_."

"Yeah you look fine."

"It's nothing."

"It doesn't look like fucking nothing. Who did this? Was it here?"

"Edward," she exhaled, covering her face again, "this doesn't concern you."

"You're my friend, Aimee. You're face is busted. What happened?" She shook her head slowly. "Did _he _do this?"

"Why does it matter?!" She was growing infuriated with my interrogation. "Just. Go. Away."

I dropped to the other side of the table, leaning over angrily. "You're going to tell me the truth or I'm going to find someone who will."

"You don't need to worry about it! This doesn't concern you in any way. I can handle it."

"Yeah you look like you can handle it really well, Aimee. I see how easily you handled it. You'd better tell me right fucking now, because I won't ask you again. Did he hit you?"

"Yes!"

"_WHY_?"

"Because shit got stirred up at work and he heard about it."

"Like what?" She growled, pushing off the seat and trying to walk out, but I quickly cut her off, blocking her way. "Like _what_, Aimee?"

"_Us_," she hissed. "Happy now? Would you move!"

My heart steadied slowly as I almost fell backward. "What do you mean, us?"

She spun away from me, storming around the shack. "Your wife's friend, whoever she was, spouted something off about me and you having sex, and that little asshole Rocky overheard it. He blabbed his mouth after you and Bella went home. You know how much that creep hates me. And then Anna heard about it later that next night and came and asked me about it. I immediately denied it, but then Rocky opened his asshole mouth again and said, _'You're kinda low to be fucking your married arrogant mentor, Aimee. Does his wife know?', _and before I could respond to tell him he was full of shit, I turned around and there was Dale leaning against the nurse's station, ready to pick me up. We went home last night and... we got into a fight about it."

"Does Dale know the truth about you and me? All of it?"

"No. I swore to you I wouldn't say, didn't I? I kept denying and denying and denying it, but he wouldn't believe me."

"Is there anyone here at work convinced?"

She scoffed, "Well, it's dick-head Rocky that started this and everyone here hates him. Anna won't say anything, especially since she believed me when I told her it was all a fabrication. So as far as I know, hopefully no one."

I tugged my hair in frustration, shaking my head. "I'm... really sorry, A-"

"So, I guess I should be thanking you, in a way?"

I looked at her, dumbstruck.

"For all of it," she motioned wildly with her hands. "Because you're such a _'good friend' _to me, you say you still care, yet you tell Bella about us, which I understand... But then she goes and tells _her _friends, one of whom is a girl who decides to call me out on that shit at my own place of work. How very kind of her, by the way. Leave it to fucking Rocky to overhear, and... here we are. Fun, fun, fun."

"I didn't know that Colleen knew about you and I, Aimee. I didn't know Bella told her. But she's her best friend, I mean, I guess I should have known she'd eventually find out, but..."

"Well, she did. It was either Bella or Emmett that told that girl, and I highly doubt it was him, because he's always been cool with me."

I knelt down and rubbed my face vigorously with my hands. "Well, we'll keep on denying it at work, or ignore it completely until the gossip fades away -- if there is any gossip -- and... Dale's got an ass kicking coming his way some day."

"I don't need you to do anything about it, Edward."

"I didn't say I was going to -- though I'd like to. If I didn't have a wife and child, I'd be doing it right now. No man should ever fucking hit a woman like that. I've done some stupid shit myself, but this is sick. Karma will come around and kick his ass for me. Don't worry."

"It's _our _fault. Both of us. For sneaking around so long. It caught up with me. Knew it would sooner or later."

"Is all of your stuff still at his place?"

"Yes."

"You're not going back to him, are you?"

"I don't want to think about anything right now. Drop it."

"Aimee, no. You can press charges against him, place a restraining order against him. You still have plenty of time to do so. You don't have to see him. There is no need to give that asshole the time of day."

She scoffed. "Why do you even _care_, Edward? If your wife or her friends or anyone else has anything to say about it, you shouldn't give a shit."

"Okay, yes, I'll admit that she's not necessarily ecstatic about the idea of us being friends, because of past situations before you even came into my life. But she isn't the type to ever dictate to me who I should and shouldn't speak with, Aimee. She wouldn't be that cruel unless you or I gave her a good hard reason and I don't see that happening. If roles were reversed and she had a friend who was in trouble, she'd try to help them too, whether I liked the person or not. Because that's the kind-hearted person she is. No sense in bringing her into this argument because _you're _upset."

"I'm upset she told people, and her friend was stupid enough to say something to me about it when she had no business doing so! Why would that girl be so careless, especially where I work while I'm on the clock?!"

"I don't know what possessed her to-"

"I mean, I get that you told Bella. You two got back together quickly, and you and I had a past that you felt she should know for whatever reason, I get it. I really do. I never had a problem with her. But if she had a problem with _me_, because you and I were together while the two of you were apart, then why couldn't she just ask me if she were worried? Why would she be so upset with me, when she has no idea about my feelings or anything? I never gave her a reason to think negatively of me. I did my job well considering the oddness of the situation. I never called you after that one time unless I was asked by Aubrey to code you into work, and I nev-"

"It's a long story," I exhaled, cutting her off.

"It's not even that though, this isn't even Bella's fault. I shouldn't be blaming her. She was thrown into this triangle, no warning whatsoever. _You _should have told her, from the beginning, that you and I were friends. Eased her mind."

"I tri-"

"And worse," she continued. "I'm upset with _you_, for talking about me here too! Jonsen told me what you said, about your guys little name for me. How fucking disgusting was that?! He was trying to pry information from me so he could get in on the gossip, the stupid asshole. I _told _you he wasn't a good guy! Why would you be so _cruel _to me and say those things if I were _truly _your friend?"

I closed my eyes, frowning. "They said the names, I just... They were teasing me... I let it go too far. I'm sorry. I should have stood up and said something. But, I was worried that they would start shit, so I just let it slide. That was my fault and I'm sorry. And you _are _my friend. I'm going to be here for you and-"

"Why in the hell did they know in the first place?! I've never said anything to _anyone_. That was our pact, remember?! I had faith that you would keep it! I trusted you!"

"I'm sorry about the names and for telling them about you, I didn't think... I was stupid and in a rough place in my life, and I took you down with me, and I feel really awful about it. But there's nothing I can do about it now. You'll just have to take my word for it when I tell you that I'm truly sorry."

She wiped the tears from her eyes and cleared her throat. "I've got to go back to work. I'm probably late."

"I can tell her that you were out here with me, that I made yo-"

"Don't bother. I can deal with it myself."

I nodded slowly, sticking my hands in my pockets and moving out of her way. She walked past without saying another word to me. Guess I deserved that one.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I stared at my mother in utter disbelief as she held my son. "What do you mean?"

She grimaced, looking down. "I meant exactly that. I was sure that they told you guys."

"Noooo, they did not."

"Esme said she'd been trying to call Edward for a week before this little guy was born."

"He's been working doubles. She didn't say it was important. But this, _this _is important."

"Yeah... I'm sorry, baby. I honestly thought you knew."

"Oh my God," I buried my face into my hands, shaking my head. "This isn't good. She should have told him."

"She didn't want to ruin your guys' happiness, with this little guy."

"Still."

My cell phone rang, and I quickly answered it so Masen wouldn't get fussy. "Hey babe, where are you?"

"On my way home. Can you do me a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Aimee got into a serious altercation with her boyfriend. He hit her several times. She won't go to the cops. I think she's scared, and upset. I tried to reason with her, but since I'm somewhat part of the problem, she's not going to listen to me right now. I can't get a hold of Tommy, I think he has his cell turned off since he doesn't work until tonight. Can you get on the walkie-talkie and ask him to be at the house when I get there, so I can discuss some options with him and maybe get her some help?"

"Crap. Is she all right?"

"Yeah I guess."

"Sure, I'll do it."

"And I need to talk to you about something when I get there, too."

"All right... I... need to tell you something also."

"Be there in less than five. I love you, Bella."

"Okay. Love you, too." As soon as we hung up, there was a knock at the door. I looked at Renee and she shrugged, so I just got up and answered it.

And there was Ryan, wearing nice jeans and a green t-shirt, with flowers in his hand.

"Ryan," I half gasped, shaking my head. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't Colleen tell you I was coming by today? I texted you last night..."

I slapped my forehead, blinking several times. "I totally forgot all about that."

He stepped inside when I moved out of the way, handing me the white tulips. "For the new mother."

"Thanks," I took them and sat them on the end table.

"I can see you've lost some weight already. Told you it was all baby. You couldn't gain weight if you tried."

To avoid being overwhelmed, I shook my head, leading him over to the couch. "Umm, Mom this is Ryan Danvers. He's my partner at _Leverage Marketing_. Ryan, this is my mom, Renee."

Ryan shook her hand. "Pleasure to meet you, officially. You look prettier than you sound on the phone, and I didn't think that'd be possible."

She blushed and grinned up at him, "You're handsome as well. Bella downplayed your appearance."

"That's because my charm makes her flustered."

"Okay, Ryan," I exhaled, bringing them both back to focus, "to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Wanted to see you and your kid... Holy hell, is that him?"

"Yes." Renee quickly handed my child over like he was a hot potato, and my eyes widened as Ryan held him in his arms. "Uh..."

"Damn, he's cute," Ryan smirked, tilting him from side to side, careful to support his head, examining him like he would an object for sale. "...pretty damn cute indeed."

"Thank you."

"Name's Masen right?"

"Yes."

"What's sup, little man?" he wiggled his fingers, "I'm Ryan. I work with your mom." Masen stared up at him in complete silence. "You look like you're having fun, all cozy in this white blanket of yours. Quite cozy."

I bit my lip, crossing my arms over my chest as I sat down. "My husband is on his way home, so..."

"Okay, cool."

I licked my lips nervously. My mom looked at me strangely, but I tried to ignore her. No sense in telling her Edward didn't like Ryan because I'd messed around with him in the past. My mom didn't need to know any of that.

Ryan continued, "I would be all cozy too if I was in that warm blanket... Would you share?" Masen blinked. He grinned, "Yeah, I bet you would."

The door swung open and my husband entered, immediately looking stunned to see Ryan in our house.

_Shit_. "H-Hey babe," I hopped off the couch and met him at the door, hugging him.

"What's he... What's going on?"

"Remember, Colleen told us Ryan was swinging by today? I totally forgot about it, I'm sorry. I would have told you."

He cleared his throat and inhaled slowly, before walking across the room to greet Ryan. I grew more nervous when they shook hands, afraid they'd never let go until someone broke a knuckle. Thankfully though, they did.

"What's going on?" Ryan asked him, bouncing Masen in his chest.

Edward looked from him to Ryan. "Uh... Not much." He looked over to me, scratching the back of his head. "Did you... do what I asked, Bella?"

"Oh, no, I forgot, I'm so sorry. He showed up after we talked and I did-"

"It's fine," Edward exhaled, forcing a smile. He took a seat and I sat beside him, Ryan and Masen on the short side of the wrap-around sofa.

"This is a cute kid you have here, Edward. Didn't do bad for yourself."

Edward rolled his eyes, and I hit his leg, causing him to straighten up. "Thank you."

"How big is he?"

"Inching closer to seven pounds."

"You're like a little bowling ball, Masen. Seven whole pounds!" he mused. "I'm good with kids, man... Kids love me."

"I don't see why not," Edward quipped beneath his breath. "Referring to children as inanimate objects is always a compliment to them. They love that shit." I cleared my throat, but Edward didn't stop. "I guess, if Masen were able to speak, he's most likely refer to you as the pin, then."

"Why's that?" Ryan smiled, not even looking insulted in the slightest.

"Used to being knocked over and with no brains on top."

Ryan smirked as I glared up at my husband, mouthing _'be-have' _at him.

"Yeah... But quite frankly, I figured if I were to be compared to a pin, that'd be because I have a tiny head compared to what I'm packing elsewhere."

My eyes widened but before I could say anything, Edward cut me off. "Don't be mistaken, Danvers. From what Bella explained, it isn't big at all. In fact... I believe at one point she laughed when she told me that she could barely see it unless the light hit you just right."

"Oh my God," I said, standing up. "I'm not listening to this. Both of you should grow up."

Edward chuckled and Ryan seemed equally amused as I pulled Masen from his arms and went into the kitchen to avoid it.

After a few crass comments, Edward entered and found me sitting at the bar, cradling my son. He planted himself against the counter next to me, crossing his arms and his ankles. "Sorry, couldn't resist."

"Try."

"He started it. I was somewhat behaving."

"Edward," I growled. "You asked me to help you do something for Aimee, and I agreed with no problems because that's a serious matter. _Please _don't make this Ryan appearance something it's not."

"I'm not, but I'm not going to kiss his ass, either. Besides, you didn't do what I asked, because Ryan the cocksucker showed."

"Well you need to tone it down a little bit, please. I don't want to feel like a hoochie or an object of possession, and right now, that's how you're making me feel. I'm asking you, please. _Try _to get along with him, because when it comes to me, he's not going anywhere, just as Aimee's not going anywhere with you. He's a good partner. Alright? He's only copping an attitude because you're doing it first. Don't egg him on."

"I'm not trying to make _you _feel any way, just him. Besides. You're not a hoochie unless you're _my _hoochie...." He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the back of my neck, "I'm just playing baby. Don't be mad... It was too hard to resist."

"I thought we had an understanding to _'agree to disagree' _that we didn't like them, but we'd be cool with them, for the sake of you and I?"

"I'm not going to be cool when he's talking about his dick in front of my child, Bella."

"_You _were talking about his dick in front of your child, Edward. And I never told you any of that about him so stop bringing me in on your pissing contest."

He smirked, "It's probably true though."

I rolled my eyes, "You're irritating me and not listening, so go away. You're missing my entire point."

"No," he kissed my neck. "I'm sorry. I'll be on my best behavior. Besides, you have a guest. I'm here to force you to go back in there and entertain him..."

I growled and moved out of the chair, storming toward the living room, muttering about how much of a prick he was being. All he did was laugh. Cocky bastard.

Edward followed me in and took his seat beside me, while I handed Masen to my mother so she could change him for us since she volunteered. Before I could blink, my smug husband threw his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into his chest, kissing my cheek while Ryan asked him about how work was going.

"Just fine," Edward murmured against my skin, before slowly turning to face him. "How has work been for you these days? You managing all right without my wife doing half of your job for you?"

Ryan chuckled and I flushed at the utter embarrassment of this situation, gripping Edward's knee with my fingernails. He didn't even flinch.

"Yeah, I handle myself well without your girl, Cullen. I worked there before her, I know what I'm doing. Though, ...I must say, when she is around, I do have better views to look at than my computer screen. I'm sure you understand that much though..."

I glared at Ryan as Edward clenched his jaw. _Oh fuck. Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck_. "Yeah... I understand."

Ryan grinned at him, smug that Edward let it go. "So, Bells. When you coming back?"

"Two weeks."

"Mr. Colberry keeps asking. I think he likes you more than he led on."

"Then tell him to give me my account back."

"Girl, that account is long gone. Don't worry tough. I've got my eyes on something much better than that... I think by the time you get back, we'll have introductory meetings on it."

"What's the account?"

"_Mozilla_."

"_Mozilla Firefox_?"

"Yep."

"Cool! That brings in a _lot _of business."

"Yep, and we'd get a percentage anytime someone downloads it or adds a new add-on or any other new feature."

"Wow... I hope we get it. We'd bank."

"Me too. He knows that you and I make the best team, so if _Leverage Marketing _picks it up, I guarantee he'll toss the ball to us. No one else can handle that type of revenue like you and I, and the funny thing is, we're the youngest there, besides Colleen."

"Ryan, that would truly rock," I smiled anxiously. "I _really _hope we nail it."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair, relaxing into the couch finally. My mom entered while Ryan and I continued on about work, handing Masen over to Edward, causing him to remove his arm from around me. Edward kissed him a few times, then put him to his chest, where Masen's head was buried in his neck. It warmed my heart, watching how he was with him.

...Then I remembered what my mom told me about Edward's parents, and my heart sunk. I had to tell him before Carlisle or Esme did. I made mental note to do that tomorrow.

Ryan hung out with us for about forty-five minutes longer, then I walked him to the door. Edward offered, but I politely refused, knowing he'd get Ryan riled up again, and that was the last thing I needed. I didn't feel like washing blood off the side of my house today. Besides, after that one comment, they both behaved themselves well. Surprisingly.

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

After a few hours of drinks and a lot of conversation (thankfully, so we didn't get plastered), Colleen asked me if I wanted to dance with her.

I hesitated, thinking of all that could go wrong with that... and not trusting myself at all. The girl was fine. Sue me.

"Come on," she begged, sitting her drink on the bar and taking off her jacket. "Makin hates country music, even though he's from the south. I never get to listen to it! Please, Emmett? We can talk out there, it's a slow song!"

I took a deep breath, watching the people around us dancing in the small area to Taylor Swift's _'Crazier'_.

I really was crazy, contemplating this. I should glue my ass to the stool, if I knew what's good for me.

"Alright," I sighed, caving into her dimply smile and batting lashes, "because you're begging and I love when girls do that."

She took my hand and led me through the crowd of bodies that just got off of work and were having a good time, to the middle of the tiny dance area. Colleen was quick to spin around and face me, throwing her arms around my neck. She was so short, her arms were fully extended.

I bit my lip, trying to figure out where to put my hands. Normally, I'd lock my fingers around a girl, on the small of her back, or her ass if we had a few more drinks in us. But that could be bad. So like the chump I was, I put my fingertips on the sides of her, not close to her hips, like in middle school dances when everyone's afraid to touch each other.

"So," she inhaled as we began to move slowly, "...is this weird? A few days ago we were fighting, and now... we're dancing. Brings back some memories.... blurry, faded ones."

"Yeah," I chuckled, not meeting her eyes too much, "it's a litle weird, but it happens. We're over it, we got the results. No sense in being pissed off for the rest of our lives. Won't change anything."

"I agree," she moved an inch closer and I stepped an inch back, nonchalantly of course. "The more I see Alyssa now, I find myself staring and finding pieces of you in her. She definitely has your features."

"Thankfully though, she's a sweetheart. I can be, but not always," I admitted. "Sometimes I can be a royal dick."

"I know," she giggled. "But it happens. I think we all can be when our guard is down. I'm really sor-"

"No more apologies," I shook my head, smiling warmly down to her, "it's over."

"So... are you thinking that you want her, then? Officially?"

"Yes. I mean, like I said before... I could really blow at this. But I'm willing to try if you're willing to be patient with me."

"She deserves a chance with her father, Emmett. Of course, I'll be patient. I've waited four years for her to have someone she could look up to."

"She looks up to you, though. She loves you to pieces. Me... I'm not a role model."

She blinked slowly, moving closer to me, as we kept swaying. "You'll be surprised how quick you'll learn. Babies are hard, because you can't figure it out, and it's all new. But children, every day, it's something new to learn. You watch them grow, and notice how their speech changes and their personality develops... it's the best part of my day, being with her. I never knew in a million years that a four year old could be my best friend, but... she really is."

I smiled, the desire to tuck her hair behind her ear rising to the point that I had to fist my hand at her side, "I like that about you."

She blushed slightly and looked down while I moved an inch closer, testing my limits. "Emmett... I'm really looking forward to this. Alyssa needs someone to... grow with. She's so skiddish and it's my fault."

"What happened with that?" I asked carefully. "Why is she so afraid?"

She sighed, still not meeting my eyes, "...My ex. For about four months of last year, I dated this asshole... Real sweet for a couple of weeks, until I let my guard down. He used to shout at me in front of her, whenever we couldn't take it behind closed doors... I was scared and alone and he was helping me pay for things my mom and I couldn't afford, so I stayed with him... One time, it just got to be too much. She was sitting on the couch, watching in horror as his fist made contact a few times... I don't remember a lot of it, but when I woke up, the cops were there. Apparently Alyssa crawled out the doggy door of his house, ran to the neighbor's house... The yards were really small. They had a hard time understanding what she was saying, because she was so young and shook up... but she told them that he hurt me and I wouldn't talk to her. She... saved my life. We got out of there and never looked back. But, unfortunately, she had to witness weeks of him being awful to me. It... scarred her. And that's something I have to live with. It's my biggest mistake."

I shook my head, frowning, pulling her closer so I could stop dancing and hug her. "I'm really sorry, Colleen."

"I'm just glad she listened when my mom and I tried to explain to her what an emergency was. At that age... she understood it. I'm really thankful for her."

"You're a great mom. And at least you got out and didn't go back to him again."

"She is my strength." Colleen lifted her left wrist, and Alyssa Ivory was written in script across her wrist. "She's my everything. I call her my arms, my legs. I can't function without her... so that's why I was so cruel and overprotective with you, with everyone, at the hospital. Sometimes, it just... it's hard, still. I worry that any little movement can frighten her. She's a lot stronger than I am, thankfully. She only gets scared with men she doesn't know, especially those who move too quick."

"We'll try to work on that."

"Thank you," she smiled, rubbing my back as I continued to hold her. "Wanna keep dancing?"

"If you do."

"Yeah... it's nice." We pulled slightly away, and kept moving as the song changes to _'Where I Stood' _by Missy Higgins. I finally brushed the hair behind her ears, and she looked up at me, comfortable but stunned. It told me instantly that Makin hadn't been showing her affection.

"I haven't... besides Jasper when he's kind... I haven't been touched in a while..." She cast her eyes down, clearly upset by it.

Licking my lips, I brushed my fingers across her cheek, "That's just senseless," I whispered gently. "Everyone needs to be reminded of their importance."

She shrugged, moving her hands from my neck, down to my shoulders. "I guess... my importance isn't as strong as it once was for Makin."

"Then Makin's a dumbass."

She smirked, "...I told him that today."

"Good for you."

"Thanks."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

When I got home, it was only half past one. Alice was sitting on the couch in her fuzzy pink bunny pajamas, a laptop atop her legs.

"Hey," I yawned, dropping my keys on the table and closing the door. "What's up?"

She shrugged, looking me over. "Not bad... I didn't expect you until at least three."

"You told me to come home at a decent hour."

"Yeah but you never listen to me."

"Maybe I'm starting now," I walked over and dropped myself beside her on the couch. "What are you looking at?"

She quickly closed the laptop and moved it beside her on the cushion. "Not much. You smell like beer."

"I had a few."

"How many is a few?"

"Six."

"And you drove?!"

"Do you see me hurt?"

"Still, Emmett! I could have came and got you. Was Colleen drunk too?"

"Yeah we left her car there and I took her home."

She rolled her eyes. "That makes it worse. Now you're endangering two lives behind the wheel, not just one."

"Oh, suck me, will ya?"

"No," she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Look, I'm not drunk, I promise. It takes a hell of a lot more than six beers to get a person with this much muscle drunk."

"Still, Emmett... I'm not even..." She shook her head, waving it off. "Well, I'm glad you're not drunk, because I have something I need to tell you. It's important."

"You're gay?"

She elbowed me in the ribs and turned toward me, muttering about how I was a dick. "No, Emmett. Are you going to be serious, or should I just forget it and let you figure it out on your own?"

"Alright, alright," I yawned, motioning for her to continue. "Let's hear it."

"I mean it, Em, it's important."

"Alright! Damn. I'll be good. Go."

She inhaled and exhaled slowly, staring at my face. "I'm... moving out."

I stared at her, stuck in my place.

She nodded slowly, frowning. "This isn't a joke... in case that's what you're thinking."

"What do you mean, you're moving out?"

"I'm going to New York City. In a week."

"Oh really?" I asked breathlessly.

"Yes."

"For how long?"

"For a while. I'm not sure just yet. It all depends on how it goes there."

I nodded slowly, rubbing my clammy palms down my jeans. I felt as if I was living in a parallel universe again, like when I found out about Alyssa. All the air was out of my body and I was beside myself once more.

"I'm sorry," she stated softly, her voice cracking.

I nodded again, and forced myself to climb to my feet. I walked around the table slowly, in a haze-like state of mind.

"Aren't you going to say something?" she asked, hopping off the couch and following me. "_Anything_?"

I shook my head, kept walking, blinking away tears.

"Emmett, please," she grabbed for my wrist, but I pulled away and shook my head.

"Emmett," she whimpered again, and I felt her standing behind me as I opened my bedroom door, "this is really hard on me as it is... I need to know what you're feeling. You're my only _real _friend these days. I don't want to hurt you and I'm sorry..."

"I don't... have anything to say right now," my voice a soft rasp as I entered my room. "I'll talk to you in the morning."

"But-" she started, taking a step in my room, then stepping back out, so she wouldn't invade my privacy. "Is there... anything I can do, or say... to make this any easier?"

I shook my head, pulling off my shirt in the darkness. I was completely fucking numb.

I couldn't remember the last time I was this shell-shocked. It was too much. I was in overload.

She wiped her eyes, standing in the doorway. "I... love you... so much."

"Okay," I whispered, walking toward her and gently closing the door between us.

I felt the world rocking from side to side.

I didn't like this.

I've never been one to show my emotions, ever.

I didn't know what to do or say to anyone.

...I just needed to be by myself.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

Three in the morning.

I couldn't sleep.

As I lay in bed, I stared at the two equal loves of my life, with a radiant smile upon my face.

Edward refused to put Masen in the basinet tonight. He preferred to hold him on his chest. And Masen... well he preferred it too, because he was being held. That was when he was the most content, we found. He had us wrapped around his finger, easily.

Edward said there was something magical about feeling our son's heart beat from that tiny chest, into his own. I stared at them in awe and giggled slightly. They both had their mouths in a little pout. Edward's left hand rested on Masen's tiny back, warming him with the contact. Masen was swaddled in a light baby blue blanket.

Every once in a while he'd nuzzle against his father's white t-shirt. But besides the slight occasional whimper, there was no sound aside from their light breathing.

They were both calm.

It made me calm.

Over the past three days that we had him here at the house with us, we found ourselves constantly monitoring him, especially when he slept. We were worried parents... leaning close to hear his breath, or sticking our finger under his nose to make sure. He was just so tiny... we had to make sure he was perfect at all times.

Suddenly, the dogs began to rouse and move around in the bed, then they took off out of the room.

They began to bark down stairs, and I quickly got up and walked out, closing the door behind me so Edward didn't wake up.

"Shhhh," I hissed as I walked down the stairs, lifting my pajama pants because the bottoms were too long and covering my feet.

I didn't want to trip.

Cora was bouncing at the door, yapping.

Spendor started growling but I snapped my fingers and he quit as he ran around my legs and back toward the front door.

"You guys, hush!"

I peered outside the side window and noticed Tommy standing there, and a cab in the drive, it's headlights still on.

Furrowing my brows, I opened the door, trying to figure out what he was doing up here so late.

Then my heart stilled.

Because standing next to him was a blonde girl with her arms crossed, her head almost hung in shame.

Aimee.

"Aimee," I blinked, dumbfounded, "Tommy..."

Tommy smiled abashedly, his hand on Aimee's back. "I'm sorry, Bella. I tried the walkie talkie several times, but there was no response. Edward's cell phone is also turned off and I was worried the house phone would wake up Masen. I knew who she was, didn't think you'd be upset if I brought her down here."

"It's fine," I shook my head, still blinking. "What's going on?"

Aimee looked up at me, and I gasped, noticing her face was all bruised on one side, marks on her neck. I covered my mouth, staring at her, even though it was impolite.

"I'm sorry," she replied, her voice so shaken that I thought she'd physically break if she spoke too much. "I... I-I didn't have anywhere else to go... I know it's really late. His phone was turned off, and I needed to see if Edward could do me a favor. My mom kicked me out when I chose to live with Dale, and he wouldn't let me have any real friends, and I couldn't tell my boss... I have no money. He took it all because we were sharing an account..."

"Come in," I moved out of the way, snapping my fingers at the dogs as they both stepped past me and entered our house.

She looked so guarded, so scared.

"I am so sorry, I know how this must be uncomfortable... I-I just..." She turned her head toward the ground, tears falling from her eyes to the wooden floors.

"It's okay," I stepped toward her, tentatively putting my hand on her left arm.

Tommy looked at me, asking with his eyes if I was okay with her being there. I gave him a warm smile and nodded slightly.

He relaxed and removed his hand from her back.

"Is Edward here?" she asked softly, swallowing hard. "I only need him for a second, and I can be out of your way."

"He's asleep, but he won't care that you've come over," I reassured her, looking at Tommy. "Tommy, why don't you tell that cab driver that he can go ahead and take off." I walked over and pulled some cash from my wallet. "Give him this."

"No," she shook her head quickly, "you don't have to d-"

"I insist," I nodded, handing it to Tommy. He left then with a nod, going to pay the cab driver.

"I'm so sorry," she whimpered an apology, "I swear, I just didn't have any one else to call. Anna was the only other one and she took off for the weekend to go to Clearwater, Florida to visit her family. I didn't have any-"

"It's really okay," I said calmly, motioning her toward the couch. "Edward told me a little of what happened..."

She nodded, carefully wiping the bruises where the tears slid down her face.

"Were you able to get any of your things?"

She shook her head, sniffling. She still couldn't look at me. She was too upset, too ashamed. Her eyes were trained on the floor.

I've been there before.

"Okay..." I stood up slowly, rubbing her back. "I'm going to get you some water, and then I'll get you some fresh clothes... You'll stay here tonight."

"No," she shook her head quickly, "I can't do that. That's disrespectful. I was just going to see if Edward could talk to Aubrey about maybe advancing my check so I could have some money, go to a hotel. He's my superior. I can't go to her unless I go through him-"

"Stop," I said calmly, giving her a smile. "_I _insist. You stay here tonight and we'll figure things out in the morning. There's no sense in your spending the money you'd get in your check on a hotel room."

"I don't want to pry though. I don't wan-"

"You're not," I shook my head, rubbing her arm before I took off for the kitchen. I quickly grabbed a glass and filled it up with some ice water, bringing it to her. "Okay... Let me go and get some dry clothes, I didn't even know it was raining outside."

"It just started," she said meekly, before inhaling the water like she'd been wandering the desert for years.

I quickly moved upstairs and was quiet in the bedroom, grabbing a pair of my pajamas. I pulled a few blankets and some pillows from the adjoining closet, then carried it all back downstairs.

The glass was empty. Spendor was keeping his distance, glaring at her from the steps. Cora was closer to her, laying on the floor in the middle of the living room.

"Okay," I gave her another reassuring smile as I handed her some dry clothes, "I want you to relax and go change into these. The bathroom is right there. You don't have to worry about anything. As you can tell, we have full security, so Dale won't know where you are. You can sleep in here, or I can make up the other guest bedroom for you upstairs, whichever you prefer."

"Here's fine," she shyly replied, still looking uncomfortable. "I don't want you to go out of your way for me."

"It's no problem at all," I said, grabbing the remotes. I watched as she quickly walked toward the bathroom, closing the door as lightly as possible.

I didn't know why I was so calm right now.

My brain should be screaming, _'Hello, idiot, this is your husband's ex, the one that's young and beautiful and blonde, the one that makes your nervous!', ..._but it wasn't.

I guess the fact that Ryan was here earlier and Edward somewhat behaved himself gave me a little hope. Plus, with all our talks and the lessons our therapy was teaching me, my trust in Edward had never been stronger. The fact that her face was bruised up and she was scared half to death of her own shadow at this moment might have been the final factor. _I _had been attacked by a man and knew what it felt like to feel so alone and have no one. I could no more turn her out in that moment than I could walk away from any other kind of suffering. She needed our help. What else was I supposed to do?

I just wanted to help her. Regardless of who she was.

Aimee came out shortly after, her hair still soaked, but in my pajamas. She quietly put her clothes on the floor, beneath the end table and not on the furniture so they wouldn't get it wet. "I... really appreciate you doing this for me... It's embarrassing, but... I still appreciate it... Mrs. Cullen."

"Bella, please," I walked over to her and handed her the remote. "Here's this... We get all the channels, even the pay-per-view. Watch whatever you want to watch, stay up as long as you want. You know where the bathroom is, and the kitchen is right over there. Help yourself to anything, alright?"

"...Yes..."

"My mom is staying with us. She's in a guest room. She looks like a witch when she wakes up, her hair's all over the place. Try not to be frightened of her. Masen's been waking up off and on throughout the night, but hopefully you won't hear it too much from down here. I'll turn the security alarms on so you'll feel safer. The phone's right there behind you. Free long distance, if you need to use it. Tommy, you know him, well, he runs our security gates, so he may be in and out in the morning. We usually make him fresh coffee and I make him omlettes. His daughter Vanessa comes in occasionally... So basically, if you see him, his daughter, or my mom, don't worry. They're all supposed to be here, okay?"

She giggled, finally smiling half-way, and nodded as she sat on the couch.

"The dogs are annoying sometimes, just shoo them away if they get on your nerves. Our bedroom is upstairs, to the right and down the hall, on the far end. Knock on the door if you need something and can't find anything. Okay?"

"Yes. Thank you, Bella. Please tell Edward I say thank you as well. I promise not to disturb-"

"Make yourself a home," I reassured her, throwing the covers on her. "Please."

"Thank you."

I nodded and called the dogs. Spendor quickly bolted up the stairs, dying to get away. I didn't know what it was about that dog. He didn't even like my mom, or Edward's mom. Or Alice. I didn't know what it was about me that he liked so much.

Cora lingered around, walking in a circle then dropping back on the floor. She liked it because it was cold on her stomach. I left her with Aimee. Maybe she'd feel a little safer still?

When I went into the bedroom, I thought about waking Edward up and telling him what had happened, but I didn't want to disturb him or Masen.

I was praying they'd both sleep through the night for once.

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

When I woke up around seven-thirty, I noticed that Bella had Masen now, laying beside her, one arm above him and holding him protectively against her chest as she lay on her side next to him.

I blinked and was careful not to wake them up. He'd only woken once in the middle of the night, but Bella got to him and quieted him before my brain even comprehended.

I was dead weight. I hadn't slept that good in weeks.

Yawning, I adjusted myself in my pants and flipped on the bathroom light, wincing at the brightness.

"Jesus," I muttered toward my reflection. My hair was spiked in every which direction. I looked like I had been electrocuted.

I took a quick piss, washed my hands, splashed water on my face, and brushed my teeth. I'd shave later. I had the day off.

Whistling quietly for Spendor, he shot up out of the bed and took off down the steps. Cora wasn't in there. Bella must have left her out in the middle of the night. Probably wanted to lay on the cool floor.

Yawning, I galloped down the stairs and went into the kitchen to turn on the coffee maker.

Spendor ran around my legs and started jumping, demanding his breakfast.

"Hold your horses, you little impatient bastard," I teased, my throat scratchy from the morning. I nudged him out of my way so I could open the fridge and grab the orange juice.

He kept bouncing and panting at me, jumping so high he almost touched my chest.

"Quit," I hissed at him as I poured me a glass and gulped it down. "Spendor." He still wouldn't stop.

Exhaling, I snapped my fingers as aggressively as possible, and he skidded to a stop, sitting on his butt and staring up at me.

"You need to start listening better," I threatened him as I put the orange juice back in the fridge, "or I'm going to send you away to the factory where they make shiny new girly boots out of your fur."

Finally gaining some common sense, he knew better than to move. I quickly poured him some hard food and dropped in a can of soft, mixing it together, before giving him the okay to eat it. That dog ran for it and inhaled like a vacuum, while Cora slowly sauntered in, as calm as can be.

"Oh, hey Miss Princess," I yawned, patting her on the head. "Too good to sleep with me last night?"

She blinked at me, waiting for her food, always patient. I sat it down in front of her and gave them a big bowl of fresh cold water.

Yawning again, I rubbed my stomach, waiting on the coffee to finish. Then I poured myself a cup, kept it black, and inhaled the smell greedily. I needed to wake up.

I finished the cup after the dogs finished their breakfast, and then I fastened the chains to their collars to take them out. We'd made it a habit since we moved in that they'd go running with me in the mornings when I didn't work. They liked having a yard and wide open spaces to play around in. A good change from downtown Seattle.

I grabbed my shoes from the coat closet and moved into the living room, sitting on the steps that lead up to the front door. As I shoved my right foot in a sock and slipped it in my shoe, I glanced up.

Then my heart began to pound, and I slid on my butt, moving until I hit the front door.

"What the..." I said, cocking my head toward it.

Aimee was here. She was asleep. On my couch. In my house.

I looked around the house, then scurried to my feet, looking outside. There were no other cars, just the foggy mist from the daylight breaking.

I looked down toward the dogs and they were calm. Why were they so calm?

_And... wait... is she... wearing Bella's clothes?_

Dropping the leashes, I left the dogs where they were and hauled ass up the steps, only one foot in an untied shoe, the other bare.

Opening the door, I rushed toward the bed and shook Bella by her arm, trying my best not to wake up Masen in the midst of my panic.

I didn't know what was going on. This was utterly strange.

"Bella," I said, shaking her harder. "Wake up."

She stirred and moved slightly, moving her arm from over Masen.

"Bella," I hissed, "wake up. _Now_."

"What is it?" she muttered, blinking as she lay on her back.

"Wake. Up."

"I'm up, I'm up," she mumbled, lifting herself on her elbows as she looked at me. "What?"

"Why is Aimee in our living room, asleep on our couch?"

"Oh," she dropped on her back and nuzzled back against Masen, who was still asleep. "She came last night. Didn't have anywhere to go," she paused to yawn then closed her eyes and nuzzled some more, "she was really shaken up and so I told her she could stay here with us until you helped her figure things out."

I blinked, trying to figure out why she was so calm, my brain not catching up to this. "You... _you _told her she could stay here last night?"

"Yes."

"_You_."

"Yes, Edward," she yawned. "She was upset, she needed somewhere to go. She didn't _want _to stay here, didn't want to disturb us, but I kept insisting. She just wanted you to call Aubrey and get an advance on her check so she could get a hotel. But I told her no. Dale has all her other money apparently, and there was no sense in her using the last of her cash to stay somewhere when she could easily just stay here with us in the mean time. It's not like we don't have the room."

"But," I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair, "I thought... you didn't completely trust her, that you didn't like her."

"I thought you said I _should _trust her and I _should _like her," she countered.

"Yeah, I mean, but..." I sat edge of the bed, waiting for my brain to wake up further. "Are you... _sure _you're okay with this?"

She was getting annoyed with me, exhaling loudly. "Edward, I said I'm sure, and I'm sure. That boy put her through hell. You should see her face."

"I saw it."

"Good. Then stop asking me. You know how I am. I can't help but help people."

"...I know, but..."

"No buts. Get over it. She's your friend, she needs help, so we're helping her. Stop arguing with me and let me go back to sleep before you wake up our son. You don't want to feel the _riptide of Bella_ from that one."

Groaning, I got out of the bed, rubbing the back of my neck. "I'm... not sure what to do here... I'm a little nervous about this. I don't want you being uncomfortable with her being here, and I don't want her being uncomfortable about being here."

"The only one that's uncomfortable is you. She is asleep and I'm trying to sleep. Just grow up and handle your business, Edward. She's your friend and I'm your wife, and you're going to listen to me whether you like it or not, because I am tired and you have the day off and we need to do the right thing here. When I say help her, help her. And when I say to leave me be and let me sleep, I mean that too. There will be no arguing, do as I say and please just do it with that beautiful smile that I love. Got it?"

"...Yes."

"Good," she smiled, all calm again, sassy vixen gone. "Love you baby. Good night."

I stared at her in disbelief.

I never, never, _never _expected this change of events.

Life has a way of throwing its curveballs, that's for damn certain.

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 35! **

**-- How strong is Bella?? Come on. She's really grown! Don't start throwing daggers please. Bella is doing what Bella does. Next chapter will be a fun one, wouldn't you think? (And do I even have to ask that you trust me still? Come on. It's me here. I'll never purposely steer anyone wrong.) Only 1 more chapter left guys, then a special tidbit after that... and then the sequel coming soon! YAYAYAY!**

**-- I was wondering how you guys would feel about the sequel having other POVs added in? I'm thinking of making Colleen a 'regular', and I know some people have asked for other pov's.... It would NOT be an every chapter affair though. Let me know your thoughts! Thanks!  
**

**-- Sequel title should be revealed by next chapter!**

**-- ALSO, reminder to check out the TEF outtakes, which will still be updated during downtime between TEF & the sequel. Bella and Edward's sad break up, along with some other moments, are all ready posted, so be sure to READ & REVIEW if you have not done so all ready. ;)**

_**Random Question for my readers to answer at the bottom of your review:  
-- **__Are their people you envy enough to want to trade lives with them? Who are they, and why?_

**-- My answer: **Of course, Kristen Stewart, because HELLO! Uhhh, yeah. Who wouldn't want Robert Pattinson?? ;) But truthfully, if not her, then I'd love to trade lives with someone like Stephenie Meyer or Nicholas Sparks. They have my dream job. Every day, they get to wake up and define characters and stories, get lost in them for hours, and make them a reality... They get to touch people's lives. That's all I dream about doing.

Thoughts? There's still more to come, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

**Reviews are better than the day Masen finally stops cockblocking Edward ;-).**


	36. Coming Home

_**Review, Review, Review!**_

**I APOLOGIZE FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK TO UPDATE. I ENDED UP WITH THE FLU FOR ABOUT 2 WEEKS. (& don't like doing 'fake' updates just to tell you that because I know how annoying it is when author's do that). HOPE THE WAIT WAS WORTH IT! I DEDICATE THE 93 PAGES TO YOU. EPILOGUE COMING SOON.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Coming Home  
The characters find the real meaning of 'home'.  
**(As always, songs/pics in profile.)**  
**

* * *

_  
__**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with! I worked my ass off to write this fun. Don't take what ain't yours.

_My LONG-ASS Special Thanks to_:  
- To **My readers **and **loyal reviewers**.... Words cannot describe how much it means to me, to have you all here, sharing this partial-ending to the first chapter of these characters lives with me. You have been my constant north star, pushing me to finish this, encouraging me to stay strong, providing honest and always appreciated feedback, critique, and advice, suggestions, you name it... Thanking you for helping me get this story out, reccing it to friends, on sites, communities, threads, etc. I've grown stronger because of you, and so have these characters. I thank you for allowing this story to come into your lives for a couple of hours during the day. I am blessed to have you be just as much a part of this as I am. Without you, it would have never been possible. Thanks for understanding my complicated nature about not being able to respond to every review. Know that I read your words, and they always sink into my heart. I'm grateful for every single one of them, even the negative and critical. Thank you for everything. I cannot wait for the epilogue, and for the sequel. (Check the bottom for a/n's.) I cannot wait to see all your beautiful names on the reviews, in the pms, on the threads and boards. I cannot wait to share the second chapter of these characters with you. I pray you cannot wait either. ;) The sequel title is: _**True Life: The Next Factor**__. _  
- To **My amazing beta, Jazz Girl (Caryn)**. Wow. What can I say?? You came into my life like a flash of lightening, shook me until my change fell out, and proved to me that there are people willing to fight for me and with me, for what's right. You have one of the most beautiful souls I have ever had the privilege of knowing, and a future that is very bright and endless. There are not too many people that I consider irreplaceable in my life. People come and go all of the time, for whatever reason, whether it be seasons changing or lives adjusting. But you, my dear, are irreplaceable. I _adore _you. Thank you for your many talents. For your trust. For everything. (And thank you for getting me through the hardest scene I have ever written in my life. I wouldn't have made it without you by my side.)  
- Special shout-out to my 1st beta on TEF, **Katie (Kwizbit) **-- thank you for encouraging me to continue this story after chapter one. I appreciate all the effort you put into this, all the late conversations, and debates. Your energy for this story has not been forgotten, and I want to give you *hugs* and tell you thank you, thank you, thank you!  
- To **My Twilighted**, **A.T.T.E.F. Facebook, & Lexicon members** -- I know, without a doubt in my mind, that you have all entered my life for reasons that cannot be defined. All of you go beyond the limit to support this story. Even if you only join, or if you pop in to say a single hello. Whether you put a banner in your story, or get the word out however you can. Voting, debating, arguing, supporting... You have all been my biggest supporters. I love the crazy (and sometimes stressful) debates and banter. I love the suggestions, the predictions, the guidance you've given me (even when you don't know you do it! Goes to show you I read EVERY SINGLE FEEDBACK and take it into consideration, wink.). There will be plenty more special treats coming for you, including sneak peeks for upcoming chapters, new character breakdowns, song samples, pictures of Masen and whatnot... You deserve everything I can try to give to you. Thank you for blessing me with your kindness.

* * *

(This song was chosen for each character, because it relates to them all, for different reasons.)

* * *

_**"I see myself in you... In everything you do.  
And when you're all alone at night, you know I am by your side.  
'Cuz I'm there too.  
I see me in your eyes, ...and I'm the tears you cry.  
And when you fall apart and are dying from a broken heart...  
I'm there too.  
I see your footsteps in the sand, as you journey on across this land.  
But if you should fall on your way, then I will carry you that day.  
'Cuz I'm there, I'm there too.  
...Yeah, I'm there... too."**_

_**~ Michelle Featherstone, "I'm There Too"**_

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-Six: Coming Home**

**EdwardPOV**

After my run, I entered the house to find Bella and Aimee in my kitchen, sitting at the bar. Talking like they were old friends.

This whole entire thing just fucking weirded me out to no end. Bella wasn't friends with Aimee. Aimee wasn't friends with Bella. I understood that she wanted to help her out, and that was great. But I wish she'd understand how this was for me. Aimee was my friend, yes. But she was also the girl who'd had an extensive and strange relationship with me on the side. Not to mention that I'm her mentor at work. Both of those things I could have handled fine, but that was all before Bella came back into my life. Now it was strange.

It bothered me that Bella couldn't understand that this put me in an awkward situation. I was skittish already, known for over-thinking everything. I didn't want to talk to Aimee too much, because I was afraid it'd upset Bella. But then again, I didn't want to ignore Aimee, because she needed all the help and support she could get. Besides, I was the one who helped her fuck her whole personal life to hell. She fell into the many traps I'd placed, back before I gave a damn about anything or anyone else but myself.

I wiped my sweaty face with my shirt and met them there, tentatively standing next to the fridge.

"Hey babe, how was your run?" Bella asked as she took a sip of her coffee. Aimee held her cup between both her hands, looking from me to her cup.

"Uhhh, it was fine," I nodded. "What...are you two up to?"

No answer as they started talking to each other again.

I cleared my throat.

Obviously they didn't hear me. So I repeated my question.

"We're just discussing options," Bella smiled, before turning to Aimee again. "Trying to figure out the best move she should make."

I gave another nod as I pulled out a two-liter of seven-up and poured myself a glass. I made sure to cling to the bar. I didn't want to be too close. I'd seen Bella's wrath, and I wasn't sure just yet how far her kindness stretched.

Aimee began explaining something to Bella, both their voices so low I couldn't hear, and I suddenly felt like a third-wheel in my own house. "Where's Masen?"

Bella didn't even look at me. "Mom asked if she could take him with her into town. She's meeting your mom, and I think Esme's coming back here."

"My mom is coming here today?"

"No, I'm not sure that's the best thing," Bella was saying to Aimee, ignoring me. "Not if your mom's already upse-"

"Hello?"

"_Yes_, she's coming," she replied hastily.

I exhaled, clearly not making any headway. "Alright," I said, "I'm going to shower."

Neither of them acknowledged my comment.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

When I finished, Bella was laying on the bed on her back, her hand covering her stomach where her shirt was pushed up. "Hey you. How was your shower?"

I purposely ignored her.

"Edward?"

"...So, now you can see me again?" I scoffed, shaking my head as I threw the damp towel behind my back. "Nice to know."

Bella rolled her eyes, "Don't be a pain. I was trying to make her feel more welcome."

"That doesn't mean you have to ignore _me_, Bella." I opened the closet and pulled out a shirt. "This is really fucking awkward for me as it is. I wish you could grasp that."

"How is it awkward? I thought you want to help her?"

"I do, but she's still my ex or however you want to define her. I know how _you _are, and I don't want to start a war if I talk to the girl when I'm not on the clock."

"You won't. I'm the one that told her to come in and stay until we figure it out."

I threw on my green Hurley t-shirt and pulled out a pair of jeans. "Bella, sometimes you get pissed when I even say _hello _to a girl. Especially someone I've been with. And quite frankly, Aimee's the only person that I've had in my past that I still like and hang out with, that's still my friend. And I know that drives you up a wall. I just can't understand why on earth you think that this would be an comfortable environment for me."

"What would you have me do Edward? Send her back out in the middle of the night, in the rain, in a taxi that she could barely pay for?"

I shook my head slowly, fastening my belt around my waist.

"That's what I thought."

"Then why don't you give me some rules or something. Because I don't know how to act right now. I mean, there wouldn't ever be anything you had to be threatened by. You are my wife and I love you more than my life. I am not stupid enough to fuck that up twice. But, you're nearly as bad as I am when it comes to people from our past. I don't want to feel like you're going to be pissed if I talk to her? If I try to help her out? If we're in the living room having a conversation and you're not there? What if she needed to be driven somewhere while we're figuring all of this out? What is allowed?"

"Edward, those are your issues, not mine. I'm not _that_ prote-"

"Bullshit, Bella. You're just as protective of me as I am of you."

She sat up slowly, rounding her shoulders, "I... think that I should give her a chance."

I crossed my arms, staring down at her, "Let me ask you a question, Bella. If Aimee was never put in this type of situation, would you still want to give her a chance?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while now," she murmured with a shrug. "...I want to know what it is about her that people like... We'd only been talking for about fifteen minute before you got back, but... she seems quite gracious."

"She's humble," I agreed.

"I can tell."

Sighing, I dropped down beside her on the bed. I ducked my head so I could meet her eyes, holding them with my own. "I don't want you comparing every answer, every thing she does, to yourself. Wondering secretly what I saw in her, why we're still friends, or getting any dumb ideas in your head. I keep telling you I will spend my life trying to make up for the stupid shit I did while we were apart. The stupidest thing was to let you think I didn't love you or that you could be replaced in my life. I don't want you dwelling on that shit."

"I won't," she replied calmly. "I promise."

"And she's not moving in here."

She giggled, "I know that, Edward."

I groaned, falling back onto the covers as I ran my fingers through my wet hair. "Fine. We'll... do it your way."

"Thank you."

"But if you start turning into the Bella that I'm used to, give me some warning before you start beating ass, got it?"

"Yes."

"Fine."

Bella lay beside me, kissing my jaw line, "...I'm going to go into town with her. She has a few things at her mom's that she can get, clothes and stuff. She's going to try and see if she can stay there, but she doesn't think her mom is going to let her... So I'm going to pretend I'm the friend, just in case."

"Her mom's a bitch."

"That's what she was telling me."

"She really is, Bella."

"I can handle it, Edward."

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I gave Aimee some more of my clothes to wear. The great thing about being with Edward was, you never had to worry about clothes. The man _likes _clothes. If I ever ran out (which wasn't likely, since he somehow always conned me into getting more every time we went shopping), then I could just borrow his. Because we all knew he'd never run out. I also taught her the all-too-well-known tricks to covering bruises with make-up. Between Colleen and myself, we'd mastered that technique. I didn't want the girl showing up on her mother's doorstep with bruises. She'd never let her live it down.

Aimee was still uncomfortable. I could tell by how she'd only speak when spoken to in my car. I knew I had to break through to her if I was going to help her, but I wasn't sure exactly how. Edward put some things into perspective for me earlier. I didn't think it was easy for Aimee to speak to me, since I am his wife. But the last thing I needed was more enemies. I had much more responsibility at home, with my son and my husband. All I wanted these days was peace and quiet. No stress. Definitely drama free. Besides, the fights that Edward and I had about Ryan and Aimee were quite tiring.

We just needed to put it out there. Girl to girl. And I couldn't allow myself to be sensitive, because there were questions I'd always wanted answers to. "So," I turned down my radio as we turned onto the highway, "...I know that you must still feel awkward around me, and that's understandable. But I don't want you to feel that way. I don't want to feel that way about you either. So I think we should just clear the air, get the elephant out of the room, that way you can focus on more important things, like your next move. What do you say?"

She nodded slowly, playing with the seatbelt strap across her chest. "Okay."

"I don't know much about you and Edward," I began, cracking the ice, "other than the fact that you two were involved, that you still work together, and you're still his friend. He's never told me anything bad about you, nothing at all. I want you to know that."

She smiled sheepishly, still not looking my direction. "Thanks..."

I nodded.

"Um... He... never said anything bad about you, either."

Looking over at her, I was stunned. "He... talked to you about me before we got back together?"

She gave a nod. "Of course. People do that when they get to know one another."

I pursed my lips, watching as a truck passed us in the fast lane. "It's surprising that nothing was negative, if I'm being honest, considering that we weren't together for a _lot _of reasons."

"He would... only talk about you during the days when he'd reveal how down he was. Most of the time, he kept himself busy, but..." She took a deep breath, shaking her head slowly. "A few times, he'd show it. I knew he was suffering from a broken heart. Everyone at work knew it. It's not like he spent every hour in misery. Most of the time he'd laugh and do his work and go. But, I think that... it got tired, after a while, keeping up the disguise."

And, just like that, I was back there again, experiencing all those same emotions. I inhaled deeply, trying to clear my head. Unconsciously, the thumb of my left hand went to the underside of my wedding rings. "Would it be all right if I asked you a question, Aimee?"

"...Sure," she said tentatively, eyes searching my face as I drove.

"How did you... m-meet Edward?"

She bit her lip cautiously, looking out the passenger window. "Oh, um, I started just a couple weeks after him. At the time, I was still in high school, but I was enrolled in the I.C.E program, where we go to school half day, and go to work the other half. I was granted an internship at the hospital, but since I didn't have much experience, I was in a group that was called _'guineas'. _Basically, we were _under _the interns, the very bottom of the list. That's how Edward became my mentor. It was sort of like the chain of command. They wanted to give them responsibility right out of the gate, to see who'd buckle. Quite a few did, but Edward didn't. He stayed strong, determined. Everyone saw the drive in his eyes. He wanted it."

"Did you two get along from the very beginning?"

"Yes... He was very sweet to me. He really helped me stay focused on work, when others would get me down for whatever reason. Just like any other work-place, there's always egos, people who think they're better than you. It can be very intimidating, especially in such a competitive work-place."

I exhaled slowly, not wanting to grill her too much, though I was secretly _dying _to. It would go against Edward's trust. Besides, my mother always told me not to ask questions I didn't want to know the answer to.

"Can I ask _you_ a question, Bella?" she asked nervously.

"Sure," I smiled.

"I know I shouldn't, but I am curious... Off the record, I mean... Was there... something that I did? I mean, with Masen's delivery... moving me off the case..."

"Oh," I frowned. "That. Well... Edward and I had been to therapy and the subject of our pasts came up, like it usually does. This time it was more or less about _people _in our pasts. I was always under the impression that you two had... hooked up a few times and still worked together, nothing more. But then Alicia, our therapist, made us actually _talk _about it, and... Edward basically explained to me that there was a lot more to it than that. I wasn't aware that you two had dated, and I wasn't aware that you were that... _close_, and still are apparently, and... it made me feel awkward, with the baby and our new life together. I felt it would be just as awkward for you too."

She nodded slowly, looking out the window again.

"But," I continued, taking the exit we needed, "I don't want it to be awkward anymore. You two still have to work together, you two are still friends, and Edward and I have made it very clear that the friends we made while we were not together are not going anywhere. Edward's said nothing but good things about you, and I'd... like to give you a shot, if you're willing to give me one as well."

"That'd be nice, Bella."

Aimee gave me the instructions, and five minutes after we left the interstate, we pulled up to a petite, cute-looking, one-story brick home. Steps lead to a tiny porch in the front with white trim, and a white garage was hidden in the back to the right.

"What is your mom's name?"

"Her name is Shelly, but…you… don't have to come in." She was clearly nervous.

"It's up to you."

She inhaled slowly, as she looked toward the front door. "On second thought, it'd be... nice if you could." I gave her a nod and we climbed out, her leading to the front door. "I don't know if I should knock," she murmured to herself as she stared at the _'Home Sweet Home' _mat below her feet.

"It's probably best to, just in case."

Aimee cleared her throat and knocked. The sound of tiny dogs barking and scratching behind the door, along with her mother's voice calling "Just a minute" caused Aimee to lock up in place. I felt so awful for the girl. Knowing all she'd dealt with, with her asshole boyfriend, and now having to face the mother who threw her out. It wasn't fair.

The door swung open, revealing a woman with dishwater-blonde hair, broad shoulders and Aimee's cheekbones. She wore jeans and a long black loose-fitted t-shirt. Two Yorkie Terriers barked by her feet, and she held a cigarette in her hand. She looked from me to Aimee, and her eyes turned angry when she looked at her daughter.

"Hey... Mom," Aimee said, sticking her hands in her pocket.

"What do you want?"

"This is my...friend, Bella."

She smiled at me, then turned back to Aimee, her smile disappearing. "What do you want, little girl? What did you do now?"

"I… um... was wondering if I could get... some of my things?"

Her mother scoffed and swung the door open, Aimee and I having to jump back so it wouldn't take our heads off. "Make it quick, Jeff is on his way back here, and we all know too-well how good you two get along."

I silently followed Aimee inside as her mother scooped up the dogs, closing the door behind us. The house was small, the living room tinier than Edward's and my master bathroom. The floors creaked when you walked. Aimee led me to the left, down a narrow hallway filled with tilted and uneven pictures of her growing up, then suddenly, a blank spot where a picture was missing and the frame was busted.

Aimee turned to me when she reached the door on the far end. "Um, Bella... I haven't been in here in a long time, but... there's some pictures of my friends and I on the walls, unless my mom destroyed it all. A few of them have... Edward in there.. I don't know if it'd bo-"

"It's fine," I reassured her, as she opened the door. I didn't know who Jeff was, but if they weren't getting along, the last thing we needed was to be there and cause more drama for her.

Her room had dark purple walls, with the bed made neatly, and clothes strewn around one side of the wall. The closet door was open with shirts hanging off some of the hangers, almost falling onto the dingy white carpet below our feet. She had one window, and it looked to be glued shut, with rusty looking curtains hanging on one side from it.

She quickly grabbed a bag and started shoving stuff in it, anything she could grab.

I looked around the walls at the Marilyn Monroe, Grace Kelly, and Aubrey Hepburn posters. They were hung above her headboard with a few beads and lights hanging around them as a make-shift frame. Black and white portraits. The classics. "Those are nice," I muttered as I walked around her bed, looking for another bag to help her.

"Thanks... I love them. They're my idols. Who I used to dream I'd grow up and be and look like..."

"You wanted to be an actress?"

She giggled, shaking her head. "I think all girls want to be actresses at some point, but I... I wanted to be _iconic_. Now look at me."

"Everyone goes through hard patches," I reassured her. "It'll pass, trust me."

She gave me a tentative smile before returning to her task at hand. When I turned around toward the tiny book shelf that leaned more to one side, I noticed a cork-board above it with pictures and cards and letters tacked to it. Certificates, graduation, college... a picture of what I presumed to be her as a little girl. Some with a group of girlfriends, all pretty with shiny hair, her in the middle holding what appeared to be concert tickets. There was a picture of her with Justin Timberlake, and another of her with Mariah Carey. Quite a few of her with Dale. Then to the left were a few with people I recognized. One of her and Paul, him wearing a green tshirt with his arm around her while he flipped off the camera. Some of her with Anna, and Scotty, and Andrew. Then there were the ones of her and Edward.

My heart stopped as my eyes scanned over them. There were five that I noticed him in. One was a group shot of all of their coworkers behind the hospital, in front of the lake. They were side by side, their hips touching. Nothing too bad to handle. But the other four were of them solo. One where he was standing sideways and she was facing forward, his pelvis touching her hip, his arms around her body, her hands over his to hold them there. Her head was tilted toward him, while she wore a black, off the shoulder shirt. He stood tall, in his white jacket and jeans. They appeared to be on a street somewhere.

Another was of them more snuggled, him in a pea-coat, his bronzed hair perfect, and her the sideways one this time, with her body pressed up against him and her head tilted against his shoulder and neck. There was writing on it that read, _'Yo Aims. You're sexy. But I'm sexier. ~E_.' I would recognize that beautiful scrawl anywhere.

The next one was of them in a bar, him in a leather jacket, her in a black shirt. They sat side by side in chairs, leaning in toward each other. His arm was thrown over her shoulder. There appeared to be a band in the background. But the last one was the hardest to look at. It was a close up, Edward in a white t-shirt and sunglasses, his hair beautifully messy, and Aimee in a colorful tank top. He stood behind her, his arms wrapped around her shoulders and arms, his hands holding hers in his. Their faces pressed side by side. Edward looked content, or so I figured, since there was a slight smile. His eyes were hidden behind sunglasses, though. It was much harder seeing him smile, though that's what I wanted while we were apart. But knowing he wasn't miserable in suffering the whole time, as selfish as that may be considering _I _wasn't miserable and suffering the whole time either... that part sucked. Not to mention Aimee was beautiful in that shot, with her long blonde hair swept behind her shoulders and her big blue eyes still visible despite the sepia finish of the picture.

Aimee zipped up the bag, forcing my attention back to her. She worked fast, already on her third bag.

I bit my lip, glancing back at that picture again, "Where... was this taken?"

She blushed as my finger touched the picture, looking back toward the shoes she was packing. "Um... We had gone to a concert. That was taken before, though. _Hinder_, I think it was. A whole bunch of his friends went, Paul and Dean and some girls I didn't know. They flew in to hang out with him."

"I see."

She ran her fingers through her hair, dropping the bag on the floor. "I guess this is it. Oh, wait, I gotta get my curling iron I left here." She ran out of the room, the door hitting the back wall and making an awful ricochet noise as it bounced back.

While she was gone, her mother entered, carrying one of her Yorkies, "Where's Dale the Prick?"

"We just came to get her things," I replied, steering the question elsewhere. She didn't need to know what was going on. She didn't look like she cared at all.

"That girl, I swear, she's so damn stupid and worthless... One day, I'm afraid the police are going to show up, telling me she was found in a gutter somewhere. She has no common sense. Fucking dumb. Choosing a man over her own mother. He's an asshole."

I nodded, looking toward my shoe. "It's hard, letting your children grow up and make their own decisions."

Shelly scoffed, "Yeah. If she ever decides to grow up. Plus he never _allows _her to make her own decisions. I didn't think she'd go back to him, I don't get why she does. The girl had every thing going for her, then she throws it all away-"

"Mom _enough_," Aimee huffed as she moved past her, back into the room. "Bella doesn't need to hear your complaints. Stop bitching about me. I'm almost out of your hair."

"Good," her mother muttered as she left the room. "Acting like a fucking dumbass..."

Aimee started throwing straps over her shoulder, and I rushed to help her. "Thanks," she sighed, with a frown, fighting back tears. "For this."

"You're welcome," I whispered, following her out. They didn't say goodbye as she walked out of the house. Her mother didn't even look at her.

I knew that I was new at this whole parenting thing. But I've forgotten what my life was like before Masen had entered it. I couldn't imagine for one second not wanting to see him, or tell him that I love him, how important he is in my life.

I didn't blame Aimee for choosing to leave. It was clear her mother had other focuses in her own life. Aimee must have fallen into the trap of Dale's, _'I need you' _speech, felt as if she was wanted, unlikie living here. Classic victim trap.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Aimee couldn't hold her composure for very long. As soon as we made it into downtown, her walls fell, and she began crying. She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head back and forth, muttering about how she messed up her whole life. I pulled around the back side of the lake and parked my car. I was nervous as I took off my seatbelt, but once I reached over to rub her back, I think we both felt better.

"I'm sorry," she wiped her face with the back of her hand, smearing her foundation I had put on earlier. "I just... I feel so lost. I don't know what I am doing."

"You're saving yourself," I said calmly, brushing her hair off the sticky side of her neck. "There's nothing wrong with making the right choice, no matter what you leave behind."

"But I don't have _anything_," she sniffled. "I'm stupid and I threw it all away, like she said. I don't have a dad, I don't have a mom, I don't have a boyfriend, he made me sell my car, made me move out of my mom's house when we got back together, I don't have any money, and I'm barely making it at my job with all the rumors and crap going on... He used to be so nice. It wasn't until we got back together, after I broke up with him then later asked him to be back together... that he turned sour. He made it out to be, be _owing _him for getting back together. It got insane."

"I know it's hard," I frowned, continuing to comfort, "but... at least you don't have to live through that anymore. At least you're able to walk away. Some women aren't that lucky."

"It just got worse and worse," she sobbed. "After we got back together, it began with little things. Asking became demands, demands became shouts, shouts became threats, threats became pushing, and... pushing became _this_. He wouldn't let me have any friends besides Anna at work. He drove me every where. He made me give him my paychecks. He bought every thing I needed. He said it was him '_taking care of me'_, that I didn't '_need anyone else but him'_, that'd he'd '_make sure of it'_."

"Aimee, I'm proud of you for leaving him."

She pressed her forehead to my dashboard, "and here I am, with you, and you don't even know me. Besides Anna, Edward's the only friend I have and I'm making his life complicated and I didn't want to do that. You guys have all this new stuff, a new baby, new house and I'm in the middle, causing you problems and wrecking everything and that was never, ever my intention and if I had any other place I could go, I would go-"

"_Stop_," I said sharply.

She sniffled, her hands shaking as she wiped her nose.

I pulled her off of the dash and made her look at me. She was only four years younger than me. Beautifully bruised, and I didn't know if I hated her for being that way, or hated myself for never giving her a chance. It wasn't fair for me to dislike her just because she was my husband's ex, or his friend, or because she had a vagina and talked to him. She needed help. She didn't have anyone.

"Come on," I said, handing her a napkin from my glove box. "We're going to stop by Dairy Queen and get some strawberry milkshakes, and then we'll go back to my house, talk to Tommy and Edward, and see what we can figure out. Okay? You're safe, no more Dale, no more Shelly, no more anything. You'll make it work. You're strong, do you understand? They're not going to tear you down anymore."

She nodded slowly, but her face was still hopeless. She wasn't convinced. I'd make her convinced. I had to. I was sick and tired of letting idiotic people walk all over others whenever they felt like it.

It needed to stop.

* * *

**JakePOV**

I leaned back in my chair, staring at the clock on the wall. I hated being at work. There was no where I wanted to be more than home, now that I had Rosalie in my life.

All I ever thought about was her, and that just sickened me. A year and a half ago, I would have laughed at someone like me. Sure, I had a crush on her, always had. My infatuation with Bella began to wane when I was a junior, she a senior. That's when my friendship with Rosalie grew a bit more. Now, I wasn't one of those love-sick pups that followed the girl around. No, I had my own thing going, dated, had girlfriends. But I never did shake my feelings for her. They only intensified. And now that I had her, she consumed me.

We spent the past few days shacking up, me calling out of work. I didn't want to be here. I just wanted to be in bed with my girl, watching stupid idiotic movies and ordering delivery and nothing else. She made me feel more important than anyone or anything else.

And I love my job, even now. But it comes in second place to her. Everything does.

Because she has the best timing, the receptionist buzzed me, telling me she was on the phone. Marie knew that when Rosalie called, I didn't care what I was doing, I was taking that call.

"Hey," I said, twirling my pen between my fingers, "how was your nap?"

"Mmm fine," she replied sleepily. "Wish you were here to share it with me."

"I wish I was there too. I'll be home soon though, only a few more hours."

"Mmm, how's work?"

"Work is...," I looked around the room, trying to sound enthusiastic, "...really good. My chain went up today, so that's good. Impressed the suits."

"Good, J. That's really good," she yawned. "What do you want for supper tonight? Anything you want, you're pick."

"My pick?"

"All yours."

"Mmm, I would like... those pork chops in the freezer, baked like that last time you made them, because they were really good. And maybe some corn on the cob, potatoes, and possibly some cunilingus for dessert."

She giggled, and I listened as she stirred in the bed. _My _bed. Probably naked. Damn my life. "That can be arranged, if that's what you want."

"It is."

"Okay. J?"

"Yeah?"

"When... you get home tonight, there's... something I'd like to speak with you about."

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, it's good. I just... Um... What time do you think you're going to be here?"

"Four, maybe five at the latest."

"Okay... I'll have dinner ready by four-thirty then."

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I don't want to talk about it on the phone. It can wait, trust me."

"Is it something serious?"

"Uh... I miss you."

I noticed that she was changing the subject, but she was obviously in one of her stubborn moods, and I could tell I wasn't going to shake her out of it. "I miss you too," I exhaled, before murmuring, "God, I sound like a fucking idiot."

"You _do _sound like a fucking idiot," my friend Colton entered, dropping in my chair. "Who you talking to, your whore of the month?"

I threw my pen at him and turned my chair around to face my bookshelf. "I gotta go, there seems to be a cockroach crawling across my other chair."

"Ew," she giggled.

"Yeah. I'll call you later, on my way home."

"Please do. Tell Colton I say hey."

I grinned, "You got it. Bye babe."

"Bye."

Once I hung up, I glared over at my buzz of a friend, "What?"

"I'm bored. Our team got pulled for the moment, so it looks like we're lingering until word comes out for us to get back down there and start hollering at the big screen again in the crowd full of people shouting the same thing."

"That's our life."

"It is a sad life."

"It is," I agreed. "But we chose it-"

"I chose it because it makes me rich," he replied. "_You _chose it because you want to be the best at everything."

"Doesn't everybody?"

"No," he shook his head. "I'm fine just where I'm at."

I stretched out my arms, before dropping them on the arm rests and swiveling in my chair, "How's the single life?"

Colton shrugged, pursing his lips, "I got no complaints. Know Andrea, in booking?"

"Yes... Brunette, big smile."

He grinned mischievously.

I cocked my head, my mouth agape. "She's a good girl! She's been here, what, two weeks?"

"I like to break 'em in."

"You are a bastard."

"In every classic movie or book, there's the hero, and the villain. I don't mind being the devil in the red dress."

I sighed, blowing air through my lips to make them vibrate, "I gotta get out of here. If we're not doing anything, I'm going to go home early. Surprise my girl or something. This is shit."

"We may do something in an hour. You know how stock markets work."

"I don't want to be here today," I whined.

"Get over it," he mock-whined back. "Come on. We'll go grab a sandwich, sneak in a few beers. Be all relaxed to holler out our numbers when we get back."

I glared at him, before standing up and grabbing my wallet. "All of it's on you."

"Fine but you drive."

"Don't I always?" I scoffed at him. "You never want to waste your gas."

"You get better mileage than I do."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

I woke up late today, after one. Alice was in the kitchen, fully dressed, face bright, making a homemade pizza.

I got excited when I saw her, like I normally would. But then I saw a bunch of new, folded, cardboard boxes leaning against my front door, and reality came crashing back to me. It wasn't a dream. She was really moving out.

I wanted to turn around and go back to bed, praying that God would slow shit down for me so I could catch my breath. But Alice saw me enter, and I knew she'd chase me down the hall and climb in my bed with me if I didn't come out and talk to her. It was bad enough I avoided her all last night.

And it didn't change shit. Like I said. She was still moving out.

I was going to be one friend less. Again.

I dropped against the counter, smelling the delicious sweet, tomato sauce. I loved her sauce. It was one of the best kept secrets.

"Hey," she said softly, tucking the hair behind her right ear, "how did you sleep?"

"Like hell."

She frowned, slumping her shoulders as she placed the pepperoni over the first layer of cheese, "I'm sorry, Emmybear. I wish there was something I could do..."

"You can. Stay."

"You know I can't."

"I want you to. You're... my best girl, you know? You're my friend and my sister and my mother and my therapist and my roommate and everything else in between. Who could replace that?"

"You won't have any trouble replacing me, believe me."

"You're really dumb if you think that," I scoffed, shaking my head.

Her phone began spinning on the counter, vibrating and buzzing. She sighed, looking at the screen, then dropping it.

"Edward again?"

"Yeah," she said softly. "Still sends a text a day. Tells me he misses me, asks me how I'm doing. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less."

"You should consider responding to him. He needs to know that you're about to leave."

"I've already left, where he's concerned."

"To you maybe," I argued. "He misses you, Alice. I miss you, and you ain't even fucking gone yet."

She nodded, not looking at me, sprinkling cheese through her fingers, the second layer. "It's going to be really hard. We just have to be grown-ups here, accept the fate of the world, let the pieces fall where they may. We all need some individuality."

"Everyone needs friends, Alice."

"I'll always be your guys' friend-"

"You're not even talking to Edward. How can you say you're his friend?"

"Trust me. Not talking to him keeps me his friend. He knows I'm there when he really needs me."

"And me?"

She sighed, adding the mushrooms next, "You're my bishop, my knight, my rook. You're necessary in my life, the biggest pieces. That's never going to change, just because I move away. You can come visit me... anytime you want."

"It won't be the same," I shook my head, rubbing my eyes as I rest my elbows on the countertop, "you know it won't. It'll all change now. People are growing, things are fucking crazy. We'll never be this close again."

"Don't say that."

"It's true," I exhaled. It made me sad, thinking about how quick shit _does _change. If I didn't have the responsibility of Alyssa, I'd be half-tempted to just pack my shit and move away with her. At least I'd have something solid to hold on to, something I knew.

Her hand fell on my forearm, tiny and chilly, manicured fingernails, cheese grain on her palm, "Emmett. You mean a lot to me. I just... I have to be more healthy, more motivated, for myself."

"I know that," I frowned. "But I don't understand why you can't do that here."

"I need a fresh outlook."

"And I need my friends. Edward's got this baby, and you're doing this shit. We're all lost, we're all doing new things. Why can't we just stay and support each other, like we always have."

"Nothing ever stays the same forever, Emmett."

I growled and pushed myself off the chair, turning down the hallway. "I don't want to hear that. That's just an excuse for people to use when they're too stubborn to try and make shit work."

Alice ran around me, cutting me off in the doorway of my bedroom. "Wait. Please. Don't... shut me out because of this."

"I'm angry," I half-barked at her, "and I'm trying not to take it out on you. So stop getting in my way and making this harder on me."

"No!" she shouted, standing her ground, knuckles on hips. "I'd rather be yelled at than ignored by you, Emmett. I need you to tell me how you're feeling. It's not healthy, keeping this all in."

"You wanna know how I'm feeling?"

"Yes!"

"I. Want. You. To. Stay."

She slumped her shoulders, looking up at me. "Tell me why. Tell me why it is _so _important that I stay here in Seattle."

"You can mend your friendship with Edward. You can get to know my daughter. We can stay close. You can learn to not run away from your problems..." I offered, waving my hand, asking silently if she wanted me to continue.

"I don't think you want me to stay with you, Emmett," she whispered softly, wiping her palms on her jeans. "I just... think you don't want to be alone. You. Me. Edward. None of us like to be alone. But the thing is... moving away isn't running away from my problems, because being alone _is_ one of my problems, and... I'm facing that. I have to go..."

I pushed past her, forcing her to the side, "It sounds a hell of a lot like running to me."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Colleen called me shortly after. Said if I liked, she could be on her way over, so I could see Alyssa.

I wanted to see her, but I was bummed over the whole Alice ordeal. I didn't know if I could focus. But I didn't want to push them away either, so I agreed.

I drug my feet back down the hallway to find Alice on the chair in the living room, bubble wrap in her lap, knick-knacks at her side. "Colleen's coming over with Alyssa," I sighed heavily. "Can you please pack later?"

"Sure," she said, wrapping a final piece, before standing up and placing it in the box. "Anything for you."

"Obviously not," I snapped, still bitter and pissed off. I knew she ignored me on purpose. "When did you figure out that you wanted to go to New York?"

"I've been planning this out for about two and a half months now... Known for a bit longer that it was an option."

"And you never told me," I scoffed. I went into the kitchen and pulled out a Gatorade. "Will you at least think about postponing this ridiculous move? Cut me some slack, hang out for a few more weeks?"

"I can't. I have interviews set up. I have to move the business, meet the contractors. Besides, it wouldn't make it any easier. The day would still come."

"Alice, why can't you just give me a break? I'm really trying to hold on here."

"And so am I. But you have to understand that no one is going to change my mind."

I twisted off the cap and tossed it on the counter. "The Alice I know is fearless. She'd stay and fight."

"The Alice you knew didn't have a life without you and Edward over-shadowing it all."

"Oh, is that all you think I was good for? Over-shadowing you? Just protecting you?"

"It was something easy for the two of you."

"You protected us too, Alice! We needed you, just as much!"

"Exactly!" she stomped, glaring at me. "We all needed each other when we were at unhealthy points in our lives. This isn't good for us, to keep this up!"

"Stop making the choice for everyone! You ended your friendship with Edward when he didn't want to let go. You ended your relationship with Jasper when he asked you to hang on. And now you're ending us when I'm asking you to stay. Don't fucking tell me you're not running, Alice, because you are! You're running."

"I'm growing!" she yelled back. "I'm... _growing_."

"You're running."

She put her hands on her hips and tightened her jaw, her eyes boring into mine. "Do you see me running now? Do you see me storming off to my room, throwing this argument out the window? No. I'm standing here and I'm fighting with you, because obviously you need this for some reason."

"I just need you! I need my friends! What else do I have?"

"A daughter?" she offered blatantly.

"I need someone who knows me, the ins and outs of me. I need that support, that reassurance. Especially now."

"You build friendships and trust by letting people in, Emmett. There's plenty of people out there. Stop locking doors on them!"

"I want _you_! Why is this so hard to grasp?! I want you here. I want us to stay friends. I want that to not fucking change."

Alice crossed her arms over her chest, frowning sadly at me. "You... have to let me go, Emmett. Just as I had to let Edward go."

I dropped my head back, glaring up at my kitchen ceiling. "That is such bullshit. If you really let Edward go, why has he sent you a text message every single day since he became 'unrecyleable' to you? Why haven't you written him back, at least to tell him to leave you alone, and let you grow, and let you be, just like you're asking me? Because you want him to care. You want him around, if only on text. You're just as scared of change as the rest of us. The only problem is, he and I are still fighting for you, and with you, and about you, and... and you're giving up on us."

She wiped her tears with the back of her hand, sniffling quietly.

I was beyond irritated. "So, again. Don't fucking tell me that you'll always be here for us, Alice. Because you're not even fucking here now. You're... you're all ready gone."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I was laying on the couch, holding Masen on my stomach, when Bella and Aimee came home. "There you are," I exhaled, raising an eyebrow. "Why are your phones turned off? I tried calling you six times, Bella. And couldn't get through on Aimee's either. I was worried half to death."

"Sorry baby," Bella kissed my forehead, "we were handling some business."

Aimee entered slowly, quiet as a mouse, and sat on the corner of the couch, her bags in her hand still.

"Aimee, make yourself a home for now," I said while Bella stole my son from my hands. "Relax. Tommy doesn't leave patrol until after four."

She smiled sheepishly at me, before grinning bigger at Masen, who was looking at her from his mamma's arms.

"He's hungry," Bella exhaled. "You two chat. I'm going upstairs to take care of him."

My stomach rolled as I looked up at her. "Are... you sure?"

She smiled genuinely. "Absolutely." She gave me a few kisses before she went up the stairs.

I exhaled and sat up, fixing my shirt.

Aimee looked to the floor, "I... owe you an apology, Edward. For snapping the way I did yesterday. It wasn't fair for me to blindside you with guilt."

"It's all right," I exhaled, shrugging my shoulders. "I shouldn't have let the joke go on, I shouldn't have shared our information, our situation, with anyone. I broke a promise to you, a few of them. I'm very sorry as well."

She sighed. "It's okay. I have bigger issues than that now. Let's just put it behind us."

"Alright," I said simply, offering a smile.

"So... still friends?" she offered with a shrug.

I smirked and stood up. "You wouldn't be in my house if we weren't. Come on. Let's get a drink and go on the patio, talk about what you're going to do about you."

She followed me outside, and I let the dogs out with us. Spendor, of course being Spendor, started growling and barking at her, but I shooed him away. Cora sauntered around the pool and laid on the patio, beneath a shade tree. Spendor ran off.

Aimee and I sat in the seats beneath the umbrella, looking out toward the lake.

"So," I exhaled, rubbing my neck. "I'm not going to ask you for details because, frankly, it will piss me off. All I want to know is that you're not putting yourself through that ever again."

"I'm not."

"Good. It's not right and you're better than that."

"I know," she replied quietly. "On the way home, Bella put a lot into perspective for me. She... told me a few things about herself. She's strong, Edward."

"She is, and you are too. I want you to be smart."

"I know. I will be, I just... I have to figure out where to go from here."

"Stay at work, get some money saved up. Don't stress too much. You have friends who will help you."

She ran her fingers through her hair and sighed, "I just don't want to be an inconvenience for anyone."

"The only time you'll be an inconvenience is when you're doing stupid shit, or letting other people do stupid shit to you."

She nodded slowly, "Okay."

"Me included, all right? Don't apologize for putting me in my place the other day. I deserved it. I know we're letting it go, but I'm just saying. Don't let _anyone _get you down anymore."

"Okay," she said again. I'd only seen her this timid a few times since we met.

"Alright," I slapped my legs, sitting up straight, "tell me how it went with Miss Bitch earlier. She actually let you inside her house?"

Aimee scoffed. "Yeah. She was nice to Bella, but she still hates me. Her boyfriend Jeff -- I don't think she was with him when you were over there -- but he hates me even more than she does. Thankfully we left before he got there."

"Don't let her get you down. She'll never change. She's probably in need of another bottle of vodka."

"Probably. I smelled it on her when we went inside."

I rolled my eyes, breathing out my annoyance. "Go figure."

Aimee and I discussed her options for about an hour before Bella joined us. She sat on my lap, running her fingers through my hair, "Masen's asleep. And you need a haircut."

"I know. I'll get it soon enough. I'm thinking of shaving my head."

"No! Don't do that," she almost screamed. She smiled wickedly before leaning to my ear so Aimee didn't hear, "I won't have anything to tug on if you do that."

I tried not to smirk, but I couldn't help it. She was the best at making me feel desired. "Maybe I'll just get a trim."

She kissed my cheek, whispering "good boy," before sitting up again. "So, Aimee. I'm cooking my famous top-secret tacos. Wanna come inside and we'll chat some more?"

Aimee smiled. "That'd be wonderful. I'd love to help."

"Come on," Bella giggled, moving into the house. I watched them both walk away, and exhaled. This was much smoother than I had imagined.

I felt like I was living in the Twilight Zone, but still... it was going well.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

My mother Esme surprised us by swinging by for dinner. I guessed Bella invited her.

I didn't mind, but my nerves came back as quickly as they had vanished earlier. My mom knew about Aimee, so this could get interesting. I would simply explain to her that we were helping a friend, and Bella was just as much a part of this process as I was, if not more so.

She gave me a long hug when I opened the door for her, dressed in simple jeans and a nice shirt. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen her in jeans. It was years ago, at least. "Hey Mama," I smiled, rubbing her back as I closed the door. "You look... cozy."

"Thanks." She rubbed my cheek and smiled, "You need to shave baby. Scruff is getting visible."

"I have the day off."

"Ohhh," she grinned with a nod. "Smells good in here."

"Bella's cooking, so of course it does."

Esme threw her arm around my waist and we walked toward the kitchen. Before we got there, she suddenly stopped, and looked up at me. There was something in her eyes, a longing, a mystery of some sort. It sent a shiver down my spine.

"You all right?" I asked her, my stomach twisting in knots.

She smiled graciously and nodded, "Let's go for a walk."

"Alright..." We skipped the kitchen and went to the back door, heading toward the dock. "What's up?"

She sighed as we walked along the planks of wood, the water rippling beneath it in a steady movement. "I have something I've needed to tell you, but I didn't want to ruin the newness of Masen's arrival. It's serious, Edward."

"What is it?" We stopped at the edge of the dock, and I turned to face her, unable to hide my worry. "Mom? What is it?"

She crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself as she looked into my eyes. Our eyes were the exact same color, same intensity.

I exhaled slowly, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Tell me."

"I need you to be sensible about this."

"Then tell me."

She studied my expression, trying to read me, see what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking about anything but panic. What on earth would she have hidden from me that would _'ruin' _Masen's arrival?

I couldn't stop jittering. "Mom," I growled. "Stop with this. You know I'm the most impatient fucking person on the planet. What is it?"

She bit her lip and exhaled slowly. "I left your father, Edward."

I stared at her, blinking slowly. "_What_?"

"Three weeks ago," she nodded nervously.

I took a step back, shaking my head slowly. "W-Why?"

She swallowed. "I've been lying to you, to everyone... but mostly myself, for years on end. It wasn't working. It hadn't been for... quite a long time now."

"What do you mean, it wasn't working? That's what marriage is; _work_. You have to work to make it work."

She shook her head slowly. "I worked enough for the both of us in that marriage. Trust me. I'm not the one you should be lecturing about work."

"What happened?" I growled, despite myself. I was trying to be understanding, but I just didn't get it. "Why? Why would you do that? What did he do?"

She ran her fingers through her wavy coppery locks, and steadied her eyes on mine. "I need you to be an adult about this, if I'm going to explain it to you."

"I am an adult."

"Alright," she sighed calmly, trusting that I could handle whatever she was about to throw my way. I was already assuming the worst. "I... almost... had an affair."

My eyes widened as my mouth dropped open. I couldn't even get a word out. My mother was the most faithful, loving person I had ever known. She was my role model when it came to relationships, when it came to her effort and loyalty. And her she was telling me she almost had an affair. "What do you mean, almost?! What the fuck does that mean?!"

She massaged her temples as my heart beat out of my chest. I couldn't believe this was happening. I was so fucking angry, and disgusted, and confused. This was a nightmare.

"How can someone expect a relationship to work when there's only one person involved in it," she began softly. "How could it survive? For years, I let your father ignore you and me, let him do his own thing. His priorities were always backwards. Everything else came first; his work, his career, his plans, his retirement goals. I allowed it because I had gotten pregnant at the age of sixteen, and he always took care of me. I kept telling myself, one day it'd get easier. One day he'd come back to me, and we'd be a family. We made it this far, just one more day, just one more day... But..."

She shivered, shaking her head slowly. "One day turned into one week, and then a month, and then a year, and then two decades. Nothing ever changed. Nothing ever got better. I never had any personal attention from your father, unless it was convenient for him. By the time I was twenty-seven, I was going to school for myself, getting my own degree, with my own money. And raising you. I struggled to find a routine, to make sure you always knew you were loved and needed. Even when I was at school, your father didn't show any more interest in you than he did before. In his mind, he felt by working, that he was showing you love. But it didn't work that way, and I allowed it for far too long."

I tried to speak, but she held up her hand, stopping me. "Eventually, that type of love he showed for you, he showed toward me too. I tried to make it as easy for him as possible. I knew the demands of his job. I kept everything nice, did it all myself, tried to keep your head above water, and all the bills and everything in order. But I never once, _once_ felt appreciated. Sure, there were roses sent on anniversaries. Roses and cards, but no hugs, no love. Not until days later when he found the time or someone reminded him. And frankly, I... just grew exhausted of that type of marriage. It wasn't what I signed up for. I signed up for him, for you. For working for a better life and earning that life. But all I earned was time alone."

"Why didn't you tell him?" I asked hastily, storming toward her. "Why couldn't you open your mouth, stop making it easy on him! Why couldn't you fucking tell him you wanted more, that you needed more?!"

"I did. He promised he'd do better, and maybe he would for an hour, or if I was lucky, a full day or two. But he always fell back into the same meaningless routine. He married his job, Edward. Not me. He chose that over us, every single time."

"Don't you understand what marriage is though?!" I spat. "Marriage doesn't have divorce. Divorce doesn't fucking exist. Marriage is for better or worse, it's for life, it's for -"

"No, baby. I cannot sacrifice my soul, by being polite to your father. I've wasted too many years being kind to him, giving him whatever he wanted. I loved him so much, for more than half my life. I loved him, through all of this. It wasn't until a year ago that I started to wake up and realize how much I was missing. Just a couple of months before you and Bella got back together. I woke up one day, went into the bathroom to get ready for work, and I couldn't even stand to see my own reflection. I was... just a blob, just a faded blur in the mirror. And I realized that, in two seconds there in the bathroom, I was seeing myself how he saw me, for _years_. It hit me like a ton of bricks, knocking the wind out of me. I was drained. Just like that, everything I knew flipped upside down, broke open, and was never going be the same again. I was the glue in that marriage. I was the standing piece, and the glue, and... I couldn't do it anymore."

I growled, squatting down so I could put my elbows on my knees. I wanted to scream. I wanted to rip my hair out. This was what I got for saying that everything was going well. It never fucking goes well. This was a sick fucking game.

"Edward, I know you're angry with mee. But please, try to understand that I did try. I tried and struggled and begged and pleaded and everything I could do. But I can't make your father fight for something that he has no interest in."

I watched as tears of anger and hurt fell onto the brown wood, splattering against my shoe, the edge of my jeans. "Tell me about the affair, Mother. What the fuck did you do?"

She knelt down beside me and raised my chin like I was two years old, forcing me to look at her. "I... found someone who was willing to give me everything that I was missing. It was simple, so easy. We never did anything that could be frowned upon. We just... got to know each other. He was constantly there for me. He was constantly complimenting me, and showering me with affection and comfort. He never once stepped over the line with me. He knew I was married, knew my values... But occasionally, we'd have drinks. Your father, he didn't care what I did obviously. He knew I went out. I would go with my partners, and hours would pass, it'd always be me and him... Five weeks ago... it became too much."

"How?"

"A person can only take so much kindness before they begin to second-guess everything they thought they knew. I knew I was unhappy. But I had almost accepted that fate, until I realized... just how happy someone _else _could make me. I was feeling emotions I hadn't felt since I was sixteen. The butterflies, the anxiety, the nerves, the newness... I looked forward to going to work, and I dreaded going home. Alec and I, we had drinks with friends as normal, and when it came to just me and him... I was so lonely. I was so disgusted with myself, with my life. I love you, of course. I'll always love you more than myself or anything else. But... I knew I needed to see if this part of me would stay, or if it was just a phase. So, I suggested that we make a night out of it. Give it a shot."

I scoffed, glaring at her. "_You _suggested it?!"

"Yes. We... got a hotel room. We drank wine while we talked on the balcony. There was no tension. We almost made love and I wanted to. But, it would go against everything I stood for. I made the mistake in crossing the line and kissing Alec that night, let him hold me romantically. I knew if I let it continue, it'd become a quick habit, and I couldn't lie to Carlisle. Even though he had pretty much abandoned me the moment I became pregnant with you. I was better than what I'd almost become that night. So, I put on my jacket, grabbed my purse, gave my apologies, and I went home. Carlisle worked a double, didn't come home for almost two days after that. I told him immediately. How I was feeling, what he did to me, what I almost did. Everything. I didn't lash out. I stayed calm, just as I am with you. I was simply... broken. And do you know what he did?"

"He blew up at you?"

She shook her head, frowning. "No. After I said everything, told him I wanted him to do the things Alec did for me but I didn't think he did, he said, _'okay'_. He blinked, walked over to me, took off his wedding ring, shoved it into my palm, nodded his head once, and calmly said... _'Okay, Esme'_. Then he just walked away."

I covered my mouth, felt the salt water streaming from my eyes, over my fingers. My heart was turning in every direction, my stomach flipping. I felt like I had been stabbed.

I couldn't imagine walking away from Bella. Even in high school, when we broke up. She had to force me to let her go, but... I didn't. I never could. That was the reason my life had spiraled out of control, why I had fallen so far into the dark. I tried desperately to make my heart walk away from her, but it never would. The thought of it disgusted me. I may not have been able to hold her hand for four years, but that didn't mean that I didn't share her pain, that she wasn't with me.

I was angry at my mother. But I was downright pissed off and disgusted with Carlisle. I knew growing up that he wasn't there, which is why I was so amazingly close to my mother, why it had always felt like it was her and me against the world. And now he made her do this. Now, she chose to do this, because he made her. My mind churned, whirled around. I was beyond upset and hurt. I wanted to pass out.

"Edward," she sighed, crawling over to me, across the wooden deck, and cradled my face. "This has nothing to do with you. Alright? You... are the best thing in my entire life. Not a second goes by where I love you any less than I love the moon or the stars. You will always be my baby, even when your eighty and grey. You will always be my everything, the best thing to ever happen in my life. I'm so sorry that this has broken you, but you have to understand, I've never regretted you. I've never been angry with you. This is between your father and I, not you. Do you understand?"

I shook my head, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "I can't help but think that maybe your lives would have been different if you hadn't had me. Better. Mayb-"

"Edward!" she shouted angrily, jerking my face by my jaw. "Don't you dare say that! Ever! No. Think of that baby inside your house. He's yours, and you loved him before he was even breathing. You loved him, no matter what. Can you imagine what your life would be like now, without him?! If you had chosen to not have him??"

I shook my head quickly.

"Exactly! That's how I feel about you. That's how I've _always _felt. A mother's love, a parent's love. That should be unconditional and irreplaceable. That person, that child... they are everything. _You _are everything to me, just as he is everything to you! If nothing else, you are the something wonderful that came from these past two decades. Because of you, I will never regret being with your father, trying as hard as I did. This is your chance to get it right! To be what your father could not be, was never capable of being. You can spread your love evenly between that beautiful son of yours, and your wife. Because neither of them should come before the other, Edward. They are both of equal importance. If it came down to it, you either push the both of them, side by side, in front of you, so they get whatever they need _before _you. Or you put the both of them, side by side, _behind _you, and you shield and protect them with your own body. Do you understand me?"

I buried my face in her shoulder as she hugged me. Not as a twenty-three year old man, but as the little four year old boy who fell and scraped his knee while running to the tire swing. "Yes."

"You hold them, and you love them, and you admire them _every _single day," she sobbed, running her fingers through my hair. "You make them believe that there is magic left in the world. That there are words like dreams and destiny. You make them believe that there is a God, and He is good, and He will do unto you as you to Him. You make them believe that your family is your _life_, and that they are worth fighting for, until the end of time. That you would take a bullet for them without a single thought, and that you wouldn't regret it for a single moment."

I nodded quickly, squeezing the back of her shirt, "I will."

"You tell that girl in there that she made you understand the meaning of life from the moment you met her. Tell her... that you weren't born on June 20th, 1986. No. You were born the moment that she walked into your life. You tell her that you took that first true breath the moment she kissed you. That she is your universe. She is what made that little boy in there, who holds that other half of your heart that she doesn't. All of you together, you three are a family. You three can make it right. _You _can make it all right, Edward. Will you do that?" Her eyes pled desperately with me.

"Promise me, Edward. Promise me that I raised you well enough to understand that there is true love out there. It is rare, but you found it. You have to grasp it with both hands."

"I promise."

"Never, ever give up on that dream. Never give up on your faith in each other. You're better than this, what I've become, what Carlisle and your friends have become. You're smarter and wiser and you can do anything you put your mind to. You're strong. I know having this family is what you want the most. Live your life to the fullest and work your ass off at your job. Be the very best doctor if that's what you want. But desire your wife and your son, and any future kids you'll have together. Love _them _first. Before your job, before yourself even. Be the magic that you want them to believe in. Provide that faith, that hope. Every single second."

I squeezed her tighter, shaking my head.

"Promise, baby."

"I promise."

"Okay," she exhaled, burying her face in my shoulder. I may have grown taller than her. I may be stronger than her now. But she still held me like she did back then. The only difference was that I could hold her back. Be there for her, even though we were both hurting.

I was still angry, and still confused. I wished that my father had woken up decades ago. But wishing didn't change things. People changed things. And he apparently didn't want to make it right.

We stayed out on the dock for a while longer, until we'd both calmed down and our tears dried. We were mostly silent, as she held my hand, and we watched the water ripple gently.

All I could think about, over and over again, was how much I wanted my wife, needed her with me to feel whole. How much I'll love her, even hundreds of years from now.

I was definitely not like my father.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Dinner went smoothly. Mom stayed. Aimee was more comfortable than she was earlier, and between Bella, Tommy, and his mother Vanessa, the conversation remained light.

I didn't eat much. I sat beside Bella, held her hand beneath the table, spun her wedding ring around her finger. I let that ring ground me, keep me from swaying. I let it remind me that I was better than Carlisle. Bella knew something was off with me, but she didn't ask me in front of anyone. She waited until we were alone.

I'd suggested my mother stay over. Renee had left earlier that day, gone to the apartment she'd been renting. After a quick discussion with Bella, I explained I was too tired to deal with moving Aimee to a hotel, even if we paid for it. I just wanted everyone to be comfortable, and I didn't want Bella to worry about Dale tracking down Aimee, which she said she was. So we put Aimee up in a spare room (after she stopped arguing about staying over again), and my mother in the other. I kept my composure until every one was settled in for the night, including my beautiful son, sleeping peacefully beside me on my bed.

Bella crawled in behind me and pressed her chest to my back, the feeling of her calming my breath. I had my palm gently on my son's chest as well. Their heart beats were what made me feel better.

"My mom left my father," I whispered, shaking my head slowly.

"I know."

"She told me that she told Renee, and I figured Renee told you."

"I was going to tell you, Edward."

"I'm glad you didn't," I replied softly. "I needed to hear it from her."

She kissed me between my shoulders pressing her face into my shoulder blade. Her voice was so beautiful, even with a tinge of sadness in it. "Is there anything I can do for you, baby?"

"You're doing everything I need," I whispered. "You're here. That's enough for me."

"I'll always be here for you, Edward."

"I know. I love you for that. Even more than I have every day before."

She sighed, kissing my ear, and the side of my cheek where she could reach, "We'll make it through this. It's just another stepping stone. But we'll... walk together."

"Please... promise me, if _ever _there comes a time when things change for you... if you become unhappy with me, for _any _reason... I want you to tell me, Bella, so that I can fix it immediately, and make it right. I know marriage is a long commitment. I know it's hard work, that things are going to come up, but... I cannot _imagine _having this life for a single second without you in it. You are my best friend."

"I will Edward. I promise."

I heard her words but knew my wife better than that. If it meant taking care of me or calming my stress, she'd lie to me about something as insignificant to her as her own feelings. That's how she was. Aimee asleep down the hall was proof enough of that, which is why I kept asking her if she was completely alright with it. I squeezed her hand in mine, holding the back of it over my heart. "No Bella. I mean it. Never ever let that shit slide. I can be an asshole and I'm the first to recognize. You know this. But I want you to swear right now that you'll call me on it every damn time it upsets you. I don't want you to be afraid to hurt my feelings. I'm not afraid to hurt yours, if something needs to be said. Please do the same. I want you to tell me that you'll always be truthful."

She sniffed and kissed my shoulder again, before squeezing me tight to her chest. "I swear I will tell you."

I nodded slowly, knowing that was the only way I'd make it. With her. With Masen.

_Your life is not your father's, Edward, _my mother's voice repeated in my head_. You can make it right._

I would make it right.

* * *

**JacobPOV**

As Colton predicted, not only did our numbers pick up, but they skyrocketed.

By the time we'd returned from lunch, we were immediately swamped. The only time I caught a moment to breathe,was when I had to haul ass to the restroom to take a piss before my turn was up again.

We were facing one of biggest falls in a while and it came out of nowhere. I barely got a text in to Rose that I was going to be late.

In fact, I didn't get home until almost midnight.

Dinner was wrapped up in the fridge, place settings complete with candles still on the dining room table, untouched.

Even Caty was asleep for the night.

I dragged my sore ass up the steps and found Rosalie in a white nightgown, crashed out on her side of the bed.

A note left on my pillow read, '_Missed you tonight. Hope the dinner is good. I couldn't eat. That something important I wanted to discuss with you can wait until some other time. We have forever, ...right?'_

Sighing, I jerked off my tie, pulled off my white button-down shirt, and unfastened the belt around my blue jeans, before I moved into the bathroom.

I felt like shit.

I had a great night at work, showed off in front of the bosses, but I still missed out on dinner with Rosalie, and that sucked.

I could tell she'd been looking forward to it.

I brushed my teeth and took a shower before climbing into the bed beside her. I didn't bother turning on the television, like I would most nights before bed.

All I wanted to do was wrap myself around her and listen to her sleeping, try to feel better.

Tomorrow was another day.

**

* * *

**

_**Four Days Later**_

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Sighing, I rolled over, and threw my arm around the warm body beside me.

I was leaving the next morning. I had a lot to do. No turning back now. Old Alice was almost completely gone.

"Are you awake?" I asked groggily, nuzzling up to the warmth.

"Mmhmm. I got to get up."

"Me too."

He pushed off the mattress and climbed to his knees, stroking along my face. "You were wonderful last night."

"So were you," I giggled. "Cheetos and movies... very romantic."

"Better than sex. It would only complicate... this. And we both know you're still leaving."

"True."

He stretched out his arms, showing a hint of his stomach, then dropped his hands to his lap, "Are you going to call Edward today?"

"Yes... I promised you I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah but I know you."

"You know a part of me," I corrected him. "I keep my promises."

He leaned down and pecked my lips. "So do I. I'm going to take a shower. Are you going to be here when I get back?"

I pouted my lips, "No. I actually think I'm going to visit Edward in person, be the strong woman and all. I think he's working, so I can swing by on my way to the UPS store."

He nodded, stroking my cheek one last time. "Alright... You'll call me before you leave though, right?"

"Yes."

"K."

He turned to walk toward the kitchen, and I climbed off of the bed after him. "Hey, J-Jazz?"

"Yeah?"

I walked over and stood on my tip-toes, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you."

He gave that charming smile that used to melt me in a second. "I love you too. Be careful today. No stressing yourself out."

"I won't," I exhaled, gathering my shirt to change back into, since he let me sleep in the one he'd been wearing yesterday. I was grateful that he'd been so open-minded about my idea of spending the night together. We only kissed a few times. The majority was hugs and snuggles, movies and chips, and holding one another for that last time before I left.

I knew that things would be different when I came back. I didn't plan on living permanently in New York. But, if it came to that, it'd be okay. I didn't expect him, or Emmett, or Edward, or anyone else to sit around and wait for me to reenter their lives. I knew they'd all move on, and pieces of me would be forgotten. I had to accept that.

Jasper made a promise to me that we'd stay in touch, and I would hold him to his word. I didn't expect roses and chastity belts. We were not together. But, I wanted to still be a part of their lives, and I wanted them to still be a part of mine. I wanted us all to talk, to communicate, to keep each other posted. Not to vanish on each other.

Disappearing would not do any of us any good.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

When I pulled into the parking lot of Seattle Hospital, my hands began to shake. I'd never felt so nervous before. I checked out my white frilly shirt with the wrap around belt and blue jeans and made sure my make up was in place. I wanted this to be a joyful reunion, and if this was the last time I'd see him for a while, I wanted to make sure I didn't look like a clown.

I held my breath walking to the doors. My entire body felt like sand. Any small gust would blow me away, dissolve my confidence. I had to stay calm. I smiled graciously to the passersby, made my way up to the maternity floor as quickly as possible. If I kept moving, I didn't have time to think about turning around.

I saw Edward in his bright green scrubs and white doctor's jacket, stethoscope hanging around his neck and multiple pens stuck in his breast pocket. He was sitting behind the nurses station in front of a computer beside a shinny, long-haired brunette who's name I always forgot. I noticed Aimee standing behind him, looking through a file cabinet for something. Just seeing her made my stomach curl. She was definitely the sweetest of his flings. Maybe that's why I didn't like her. Who knows? I didn't have time to care about her anymore, or anything related to her. I was here to say goodbye to someone I cared for deeply.

Edward pushed back into the chair and exhaled, tossing a stack of paperwork in front of him. He shoved his reading glasses on the top of his head and rubbed his eyes. When he reopened them, I was leaning against the counter, smiling down at him. I thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head. He looked around, seeing if I was with anyone. The girl beside him started to ask me if she could help me, but before she could get two words out, Edward popped out of the chair. "Hey. What are you doing here?!"

My smile grew wider as I shrugged nonchalantly. "I was around. Came to see how you were doing."

He cocked an eyebrow as a crooked grin spread across his face. "You came to see me?"

"Yes... Is this alright? I know you're at work-"

"Of course it is," he laughed, jogging around the station and pulling me into a hug. He smelled delicious, like spearmint and peppermint and spring weather combined. Just as I remembered. "Ohhh, I missed you."

I squeezed him tight, inhaled the comfort he brought me. I missed _that _the most. "I missed you too."

"You look great, Alice. You're so pretty."

Gripping his biceps, I pulled my upper body back from him so I could look in his green eyes. "Thank you. You look good too. I figured you'd have dark rings beneath your eyes, with the new baby and job and everything else in the new _la vida Cullen_."

"Yeah," he chuckled, rubbing my arms, "Bella pretty much lets me do nothing around the house when I get home now. Sleep, see my boy, and hang out with her. That's it."

We took a step back and freed ourselves from each other's grip, but our smiles stayed in place. "Do you have a few minutes?" I asked, looking around the halls. "Can you break away?"

"Of course I can," he smirked, before turning toward the reception. "Bree, Aims, tell Aubrey I'm taking my first, all right?"

"Sure Edward" and "Yes Doctor Cullen" fell from their lips simultaneously as he threw his arm around my shoulders and we walked toward the elevator. "God, it is so good to see you, Alice," he grinned. "I've missed the hell out of you."

"I know, it's been a while."

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Too long."

Even though I was happy with our reunion, my stomach rolled around, proving to me that it wasn't going to be laughs and hugs in a few moments. I still had to tell him. And from the look of his beautiful smile as he held onto me in the elevator, I knew this was not going to go smoothly.

Grabbing my hand, he led me out of the building and down the hill, toward the lake behind the building. We dropped into the grass and stretched out our legs, like we'd done for the past two years, whenever I'd visit and bring him dinner. It was our spot.

He rubbed my back, shaking his head, smiling to himself. "I know I keep saying it, but... I really missed you. It's a great surprise, seeing you here today."

I put my head on his shoulder and gave him a side-hug. "I know. I'm sorry for... everything that's happened with you and me, this pas-"

"It's over," he shook his head. "We can move beyond it. I'm just..." He laughed, throwing his head back, his Adam's Apple bouncing in the sunlight. "God, this makes me feel better."

I chewed on my thumbnail and sat up straight, looking out at the lake. "Well, don't get too excited. It's... just me."

"Why wouldn't I get excited? Exactly, it's _you_, you know? I miss having you around. I saw the gift you left at our house for Masen's room. We put it up on his dresser, next to the intercom."

I smiled, remembering the silver picture frame with a glossed painting of the three of them from the day Masen was born. Renee took the picture and I borrowed the camera, sending it straight to my friend Thomas Jeffrey, who painted it for me. The sterling silver frame I purchased in the mall was decorated it with each of their birthstones, and I had it inscribed with the lyric, _'The one way that it was always meant to be...' _ along the bottom in old-style script letters.

"I thought it was funny that you picked _Jimmy Eat World_," he smirked. "That song... has a lot of meaning in it."

"Exactly. It was the song that I told you reminded me of you and Bella from the get-go. '_Could it be that everything goes 'round by chance, or only one way that it was always meant to be_?' You, Bella, Masen... That's the right order, the right solution. I see that now. I always have," I exhaled with a shrug. "Even when I didn't want to, I still saw it."

He nodded, his emerald eyes glowing. "Things sure do have a way of surprising us all in the end."

"Definitely," I exhaled. "And... the surprises never stop."

"Never."

I turned to him, my heart clenching. I hoped he'd take my news smoothly. I hoped he wouldn't get upset with me, not now. He had too much in his life to worry about this. "Edward?"

He faced me and grinned, "Yes?"

I took a deep breath and tilted my head, smiling up at him. I adored him so much. "I have something I need to tell you. Another reason why I'm here."

"Okay," he chuckled. "What?"

Biting my lips, I prayed that God would make this okay. "I'm moving to New York City."

He dropped his head closer to me, his eyes filled with confusion. "What do you-"

"Tomorrow," I cut him off so I could get the rest out. "I'm... leaving tomorrow."

He turned away from me and dropped his forehead to his knees, closing his eyes. "This is not happening."

"I'm sorry."

"You've got to be kidding me, Alice," he exhaled breathlessly. "Just... knock it off. Tell me you're joking."

I shook my head slowly, my heart climbing up my throat. "I can't because I'm not."

Edward groaned and rubbed his forehead along his pants, back and forth, side to side. "Too much," he whispered. "Too, too much."

"What is?"

"Everything..." he exhaled. "My job, the move, the new house, Masen, Bella's testimony coming up... on top of dealing with other people's problems, Aimee's, mom and dad's, Emmett's... Now you, too?"

I climbed to my knees beside him and patted his back. "You don't have to deal with _me _though, Edward. That's what I'm saying! I'm leaving, I'm dealing with myself. I'm going to have a fresh start. I'm taking _Brandon Mar'ee_ with me, the entire clothing line. Going to make some adjustments on that, too. New designs, new staff. I've all ready got myself an apartment. I mean... it's set. You don't have to worry about me."

He shook his head slowly and looked blankly across the water. "This isn't what I wanted, Alice. I don't want you to move away. I don't want us to stop being friends. For the love of God, Alice, you've been more than my family for our entire lives almost. For ten seconds, I watched you walk into my life again, and relief washed over me, that maybe this was proof that things could get easier for me. And then it all goes to hell again, because you're telling me that you're not here to rekindle our friendship. You're moving away."

"We'll always be friends," I whispered. "But I need this fresh start. We all do. Emmett is having a tough time with this, too. But, you two can be there for each other. You can help him with Alyssa and he can help you with Masen. You are both so intelligent and strong. You'll be fine on your own. And, I'm only a phone call away, and I can be here in a few hours, if something was to happen. You can come visit me anytime you want, bring the family. We can stay in touch."

"I can't tell you ten people I know from high school that I stay in touch with, besides Em, you, Bella, and Rose," he argued. "People move on, they change. Seasons come and go. Nothing ever stays the same."

"It can if we want it to."

"No," he shook his head, growling to himself. "I don't want you to leave, Alice."

I frowned. "It'll pass. It's what's best. I'm sorry I sprang this on you at work, but I was running out of time. I was scared to tell you."

"You should never be scared to talk to me. That's the whole point. Leaving will only distance us more."

I exhaled slowly and got to my feet, "I just wanted to say goodbye to you. Wanted to tell you that I loved you and I want nothing but wonderful thin-"

"Stop it," he shook his head. "Don't do this."

"…Wonderful things for you and your family," I continued. "And I want you to have no regrets in your life. I just want you to be happy, Edward."

He stood up beside me and dusted the grass from the back of his slacks. "Alice, please stay."

I crossed my arms over my chest and rounded my shoulders. "I'm going, Edward."

He looked up at the sky in defeat, exhaling heavily. "When's your flight?"

"Tomorrow, ten am."

"I'll take you. Say goodbye there."

"Emmett's taking me, you don't-"

"I'll go with him."

I bit my lip and nodded slowly. "Okay... if that's what you want to do."

Frowning, he grabbed my hand and jerked me to him, hugging me tightly. "I want you to be happy too, Alice, but I don't want you to leave us."

"This is the way for me to be happy. It's going to hurt like hell, and I know there's going to be days when I regret it, but... I know it will make me stronger. I need some clarity in my life too. No matter how close anyone is, we enter the world alone, and we leave it alone. We have our own paths to walk between those two days."

He put his chin to the top of my head and inhaled carefully. "I'll come by Emmett's around seven-thirty. Help you pack up."

"Most of my stuff was shipped two days ago. I only have my carry-on bag and a few others."

"I'll still be by, so we can spend some time together. Maybe grab breakfast." He sounded so sad. At least he wasn't fighting with me like Emmett was.

"That would be perfect," I whispered, fighting back tears. I had to get out of there before I really did lose my confidence. I sniffled and stood on my tip toes, giving him a kiss beside his mouth. "Love you. See you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah, love you," he nodded slowly, stroking the back of my hand with his thumb. "See you tomorrow."

I gave him a nod, pulled away, turned, and sped around the building. I didn't breathe again until I was safely in my car.

Half way home, I received a text from Edward that read, "_I understand but that doesn't mean that I want you to go_."

I sighed and closed my phone, staring at the red stop light above my car.

"I have to go," I reminded myself. "I'm going."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

While I was getting ready to go to the high school to register and fill out tax forms so that I could start work in a couple of months, I heard Colleen and Makin fighting in what had become their room.

Again.

Sighing, I zipped up my pants and opened my door, before looking around for Alyssa. She was on the floor in the living room with blocks and Barbies around her. Great combination. "Alyssa," I walked over to her and extended my hand, "why don't you come in my room and play with your Barbies? You can stick 'em in that helicopter you love so much."

"Tay," she agreed, tentatively taking my hand with her left and grabbing a handful of her half-naked dolls with her right.

I lifted her up on my bed, because it was too tall for her to ever manage by herself, and she dove for the bag of Cheetos Alice left on the nightstand. "Oooh, seetos! Tan I have some?"

"Sure," I opened it for her and tossed the clip on the bed, "knock yourself out."

She dug in and I pulled out a dress shirt from my closet. Something hit the wall and I heard Colleen gasp. I closed my eyes, praying Alyssa didn't get anxious. "Quit!" Collen shouted through the thin walls. "Makin, quit!" I turned toward the door, my heart pounding in my chest. I couldn't hear Makin. That made me nervous. "Makin! QUIT!"

"Alyssa," I said, brushing my finger through the back of her hair, "stay here, sweetie. I'll be right back."

Her eyes were wide but she gave me a nod, orange stain from the chips all over her lips and fingers already.

When I walked into the hallway, I heard Colleen whimper, "Makin, you're scaring me. What are you doing? _Stop_!"

I crossed the hall in one stride and immediately reached for the handle. It was locked. Damn it. I knocked on the door, "Makin? Let me in, man."

I heard something fall and break, and Colleen gasped again. I knew she was crying. They'd fought non-stop since he found out Emmett was Alyssa's father. Before that, there was the arguing, but now... it was worse.

"Makin?" I hollered, jiggling the doorknob. "Open the door. Now!"

"Dazz?"

"Everything's all right Alyssa," I called from the hall. "Stay where you are. Don't try to get off the bed, it's too high. You'll hurt yourself."

"Get out of my face," Colleen growled, and I heard something else break. "Makin!"

"Oh you're being such a slut, aren't you?" he growled drunkenly. He'd been drunk all week. Missed work.

"Stop! Let go of me! PLEASE!"

Taking a breath, I took a step back and kicked the door, watched a piece of the frame go flying. Another kick and the door busted open, and I saw Makin pinning Colleen up against the wall by his wide dresser, his forearm holding her by her chest so she couldn't move, his other hand pinned above her for more leverage. Her face was red, tears in her eyes. He looked possessed. Fucking out of his mind.

I crossed the room in four more strides and grabbed him by the back of his shirt with one hand, throwing my other arm around his shoulders, and jerked him back as hard as I could. He wouldn't let go of her so she came with him, and he stretched her shirt all to hell in the process. Colleen planted her feet and leaned back, and I heard sound of something ripping. She hit the wall behind her, her blue bra exposed as her shirt came off in Makin's hands.

I wrestled him to the ground and managed to twist and put my weight on him so he couldn't go anywhere. "Makin," I growled, pinning him by his shoulders, "Calm the FUCK DOWN!"

"She's a bitch!" he shouted drunkenly, tears in his own bloodshot eyes. "I can't fucking stand her anymore."

Colleen slid down the wall behind me, grasping at her throat, anxiety swarming her every breath.

"You don't ever fucking touch her like that!" I screamed at him. "You need to calm your ass down, or I swear, I will knock you the fuck out and call the cops!"

"She hit me first!" he screamed, pointing to a gash on his face. "That fucking bit-"

"I hit him because he wouldn't let go of my neck!"

"HEY!" I shouted when Makin tried to get up, "I swear to God, you better settle down, Makin. Colleen, go in my room. NOW. Alyssa's in there. Lock the door." Colleen was crying as she crawled over mine and Makin's legs, into and down the hallway. I listened for the audible click and as soon as I heard it, I grabbed Makin by his neck and stood his ass up in front of me. "You've got exactly two minutes to grab whatever the hell you need and get the fuck out of this apartment. You need to get a grip on reality, you stupid bastard. She didn't do shit to you besides love you. Why the fuck would you put your hands on her?!"

"I never hit her! I never fucking hit her!"

"You don't pin her in here against her will, dumbass! You don't fucking grab her by the throat! This is fucking confinement, what you just did! You can't force her to stay in here with you!"

"She was banging other guys when she got pregnant! And I know she's cheated on me! She's a whore!"

"You're drunk!"

"So what?!" he stumbled backward, looking like he could pass out. "People have to be fucking drunk to deal with all this bullshit. This is fucking idiocy. That's all this is. I found condom wrappers in this room today, in the trash can. I don't use fucking condoms. Se's on the pill. I work swing shift. She's fucking banging some other man, and if it ain't you, then it's somebody else! She's a whore! That's why she got knocked up on a one-night stand!"

"Enough!" I growled at him, getting in his face. "Leave. Now."

"Or is it you?" he tilted his head, his voice sing-song and slurred. "Were you fucking her in my room?"

"Get. Out," I warned. "I won't tell you again. I will physically remove you."

"Best friends since we were kids," he chuckled. "And you want to pick that tramp over me?! That tramp you've only known for a few years? The girl who's had countless men in her life, the girl who's run her game on all of us, made me fucking believe she changed and was worth my time and paycheck? What happened to loyalty around here? Does anyone believe in that shit?"

"Apparently not," I sneered, pushing him out of the broken doorway, into the living room. "Get out."

"This is my fucking apartment," he scoffed, pulling his keys out of his pocket. "My name is on this shit."

"Fine," I spat without flinching. "We'll be out of here tonight. You can come back tomorrow." The venom in my voice was unmistakable.

"Where in the hell are you going to go?" he laughed mockingly. "On this short of notice?"

"Anywhere but here, asshole. Move," I swung open the door and pushed him out.

"She'll fuck you over. She ain't foolin' nobody, Jasper. I would never fucking hurt that girl intentionally, you know me. But she slapped me and clawed at my face because I couldn't get a straight fucking answer from her when I asked her about the condoms. She's fucking crazy! You know I've never hit a girl, but I got pissed, what was I gonna do?"

"Sleep it off," I said as I slammed the door in his face and locked the deadbolt. I ignored his hollering and bitching until it faded away.

When I used my key and walked into my bedroom, I found Colleen laying in my bed, hugging her daughter while Alyssa munched on Cheetos. Alyssa seemed to be content and calm now that her mom was with her. Colleen had some marks on her arms and collar bone, but I didn't see much on her face aside from the red of her anger and tears. I sat on the edge of the bed and exhaled slowly, rubbing Colleen's calf through her jeans. "Come on," I said, motioning to the bathroom. "Come talk to me for a moment."

She closed her eyes and sat up, kissing the top of Alyssa's head. "Stay in here and watch Dora, baby. I'll be right back."

"Des mama."

Once she entered my bathroom, I closed the door and sat her up on the sink so I could wipe off the blood on her arm. "Did he hit you?"

"Not in my face. He pushed my chest right here really hard," she said, pointing between her breasts. "I think there's some... bruising that's going to develop. Again."

I poured some peroxide on a washcloth and ran it across her arm. "What happened?"

She shook her head slowly, frowning. "He found condom wrappers in the trash and went ballistic."

"Whose were they?"

"Mine."

"What do you mean?"

She scoffed and shook her head. "It's not what you think, Jazz."

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

"Just because I've thought about cheating on Makin doesn't mean I have."

"Alright, where did the condom wrappers come from then? I don't think you'd have condoms and use them on yourself."

"_He _used them."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

She rolled her eyes. "If you must know, I was on my period last week. He said he didn't want the mess, and he was drunk so of course he wouldn't remember much of it. He wore them. I tried to remind him that he was the one who asked for sex, that he was the one who suggested the condoms, and luckily I had some in my purse from way before. He's just a fucking drunken asshole."

"So you had the condoms from before, gave them to him so he could have sex with you on your period, and he doesn't remember it?"

She shook her head, scoffing. "Ahh, a story to share with my grandkids."

"So you've never cheated on Makin?"

"I told you. Just because I've thought about it doesn't mean I've done it. I only think about it when he's an ass... which has been a lot the past few months."

"Why didn't you leave him then?"

"I wanted him to _change back_," she exhaled. "I wanted him to... grow up and accept things. Make more time for me and my daughter."

"Makin's set in his ways."

"I can tell."

"I'm not condoning what he did, Colleen. I just wish you would have gotten out. I had no idea things were this bad. I do not want to imagine what could have happened if I had left for school already."

"I know," she frowned. "It's never been this bad. I swore to myself I'd never let another man hit me, and yet here I am, falling into the circle of doom again."

"No, you're not. We'll... pack some bags, get a hotel for the night. I'll find us another place. I have some money saved up."

"You can't take care of us, Jasper. That's not fair to you. You have your own life."

"I didn't ask you what's fair to me, Colleen. It's what I want to do. You need your friends, and I'm your friend. So you're going to let me help you whether you like it or not."

She giggled, shook her head, and wiped the tears from her eyelids, "Fine. Let's go. I'll pay for the room."

"That isn't nece-"

"It is," she hopped off the sink. "I didn't ask you what's necessary, Jazz. It's what _I _want to do."

"You might want to put a shirt on," I teased, following her into my bedroom. "I don't think they'll give us a free room just because you have on a pretty bra."

"Worth a shot," she sighed, scooping up her daughter.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

We spent the next four hours packing up stuff and gathering clothes and needed items for the night. Colleen purchased a room for us at _Pan Pacific Hotel _in downtown Seattle. This place was _nice_. Much nicer than any hotel I'd ever stayed in before. Rich golden colors, large rooms, beautiful scenery... It was more in Jake and Edward's ballpark than my own. I was a simple guy. I didn't need much to satisfy myself. "God," I chuckled, setting my overnight bag beside the king-size bed, "I didn't say you had to rent a resort."

"It's nice," she sighed. "I needed nice after... _that_. Besides, it has a sauna... Mmmm, I can almost imagine being in there right now..."

"Not much of a sauna person myself," I sighed, watching Alyssa pull out her Barbies from the bag. "Don't like to sweat sitting in place. I'm more of an active, jogging type of person."

"You jog every day," she rolled her eyes. "This causes you to lose weight, and you get to read a magazine while you're doing it."

"I call that cheating."

"I call you complicated."

Alyssa wandered off into the other bedroom, dragging her bag of toys behind her. I watched as Colleen sat beside me on the mattress, and rubbed her back. "You alright?"

"Yeah... just wishing my life would some how be different than what it is. What it's always become."

"It's going to be all right. I'm here for you."

"Yep," she replied, laying back on the bed, "you're my modern-day hero. My cowboy in the flesh."

"Someone has to be," I said, laying next to her on my side. "Hungry?"

"No."

"Thirsty?"

She smiled, "Nope. I'm fine."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry you didn't get to sign up today Jazz. I'm sorry that we got in the way."

"I'd much rather you change my day around then get hurt."

"Yeah..."

"Can I ask you a question, Colleen?"

"Of course."

"When you said that you thought about cheating on Makin but didn't... why didn't you?"

"Truthfully?" she looked at me.

"Yes."

"Because the other person I was interested in, I shouldn't be. Not with my history."

"Who was it?"

"Who do you think?"

I shrugged.

"Well... one night at a bar, I thought for a second about Emmett... but that'd _really _be bad with my history."

Smirking, I muttered, "Emmett" to myself with a sigh. He was an enigma all to himself.

"And the other person I'd think about was you."

"Me?" I chuckled. "No one thinks about me in their fantasies."

"Don't be so naive."

"I'm not," I laughed.

"You've starred in quite a few of my fantasies," she replied, stretching her body out. "Usually shirtless and on a dark brown horse..."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes. Sometimes you have a piece of hay between your lips. We get down and dirty in the grass beneath the stars, beside a campfire and a worn tent..."

I fell onto my back, covering my face, "You are lying!"

"I'm not! My favorite fantasy is when you say _'ma'am' _to me. Love when you say that."

"Oh God! The horror."

"Mmm... I love that fantasy," she cooed teasingly.

I blushed and looked away, up at a painting on the wall. Normally, it was the guys I knew that were cocky. Not the girls. Colleen was an interesting change.

"Oh come on!" she giggled. "Are you telling me that you've never had any crazy fantasies about me? Ever? Even when you're drunk?"

"I don't have to share that information with you."

"I'm asking you to."

"No."

She crawled next to me and dropped her chin to my chest, batting her lashes playfully, "Please? Please, Jazz? Just tell me. It'll make me feel better?"

I rolled my eyes, "No."

"PL:EASE?!" she squealed. "Come on, Jazz, _please _tell me!"

"Tell du what?" Alyssa called from the other room. We popped our heads up, and found her through the door, on the ground with her Barbies. "Nothing honey," Colleen giggled. "Stay in there." She turned to me and dropped her chin back down. "Please Jazz? Just tell me if you have or haven't?"

"You're my best friend's girl. Or were. So yes, I have before. But no, I don't want to tell you about them."

"_One _question about them?"

"What would that be?"

"Was I flexible? Most men say I'm flexible in their dreams."

"Ohhh, you were very flexible," I joked, rubbing my stomach playfully.

She rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling with me, "Thanks Jazz... Nice to know I'm still wanted somehow... and that you were respectful enough to not... you know... encourage anything."

I frowned. "It's going to get better, Colleen. Maybe you just need some time for yourself... Time to be alone."

"Being alone is scary."

"I do it."

"I know. But you're strong. I can do it. Done it before, you know? You'll be my inspiration... my motivation to make myself better."

I dropped my hand beside hers and squeezed it a few times reassuringly. "I'll help you whenever you want. You'll make it through this. Maybe you and Makin can... patch things up, be friends again? When he gets over this bullshit, I mean. I don't know what's going on with him."

"No. No man puts his hands on me. Alyssa doesn't deserve to grow up in a house like that. It doesn't matter how much I love him, even when he's an absolute dickhead. I won't chance this again."

"See?" I shrugged. "You're getting stronger by the minute."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I ran inside the house and dropped my briefcase, phone, and keys by the table beside the door.

I was late again. I'd been late for dinner every single evening for the past month.

I knew Rosalie was getting fed up with me by now, and I couldn't honestly blame her for it. I was fed up with myself.

And I was scared to death that she was going to leave me.

It was eerily quiet in the house, making me more nervous that that was, in fact, the case.

_Shit._

_Was she gone?_

_Oh fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck._

"Rose?" I called out, taking the steps three at a time until I was in the kitchen. That was usually where I could find her when I was so late that dinner started to get cold. "Rose? You here?"

I walked through the darkened kitchen to the counter and picked up a folded piece of paper. All it had was an arrow pointing to the left.

I turned to the left, confused. There was nothing there. I flipped the paper around. Empty.

"Rose?" I walked through the hall. _Please be here, please be here._

_Shit, shit, shit._

"Rose?" I called out louder. I felt as if I was going to get sick. Every room, every hall, was dark. I didn't have time to turn on the lights. I just wanted to find her. "Babe? You home?"

...Silence.

_My life would be over. I swear to Christ. _

I ran up the steps to our bedroom and flicked on the light. The bed was made and the room was empty. Bathroom too.

She never made the bed. That made me more nervous.

I ran to the closet and yanked open the door. "Yes," I exhaled, covering my erratic heart. Her clothes were still there.

I blew out a gust of breath and backed up until my thighs hit the bed. Then I fell on the mattress for a moment. I needed to calm down. Her stuff was still here.

After a few seconds I pulled myself off the bed and made my way back downstairs, through the living and dining rooms, out the patio.

Then I froze.

There was a pathway of candles and flowers leading to the circular fire pit. A fire blazed there, lighting my beautiful girlfriend from behind.

She wore a black, knee-length, satin dress with sheer black lace covering the halter-top. Her long, blonde hair was in big, volumized curls that caressed silver dangling earrings. She wore no necklace and only a simple cuff bracelet on her left wrist.

My heart faltered. My brain signaled me to run forward and grasp her face and kiss the holy hell out of her, to tell her how thankful I was that she wasn't packing her shit and kicking me in the ass on her way out the front door.

My body began to shake.

She smiled calmly at me and waited until I took a few steps closer to her. Then she moved, and met me in the middle.

I wasn't breathing as I took her hands. I think I was still in shock that she was actually here. Either that, or I was still stunned by how amazing she looked in front of me tonight, though there was no reason I should be. Hell, I couldn't even figure it out.

Rosalie took my hands in hers and took a deep breath. "Hi."

"Hi," I replied breathlessly. "I'm sorry I'm late."

"You're always late," she smiled.

"I know... I thought you got fed up and left me."

She shook her head slowly. "No."

I relaxed a little and looked around, finding my entire back porch lit up with different candles. "What's... all this?"

"I have something to tell you, and something to ask you, Jacob. I'm going to tell you first though."

"Alright..." I replied, getting nervous again.

She laughed nervously and squeezed my hands, before kneeling down in front of me. I started to kneel down with her, but then I noticed a black box beside her leg, and froze solid in mid-crouch. Now I knew I wasn't breathing.

She picked up the box, her silver bracelet vibrating as her hand shook. I watched as she bowed her head and sniffled, not wanting to show me she was crying. The only thought in my mind was that she was in a dress, and that sidewalk had to be hurting her knees. I hoped she didn't scrape them.

Other than that, my brain was empty. I couldn't even register to wipe her tears.

_Why was she crying? Was she really leaving me? What the hell was in the box?_

_...Oh.... _

_...Oh.... SHIT...._

Rosalie took a deep breath and looked up at me, her beautiful eyes glowing in the candlelight.

I tried again to kneel down beside her, but her hands stilled me. So I stayed half-crouched because I didn't have the strength to stand back up all the way.

It took a long while before she could even speak, and I feared the worst because I had no idea what to think. "Jacob, before you came into my life, I was invisible. I didn't care about the choices I made, and... I made a lot of them without thinking about the consequences. The only time I felt alive was when I was doing something reckless. I felt like the only way to be noticed was to be pretty on the outside; make-up, fancy designer clothes or slutty dresses. So I went with the random guys who did notice."

She took a breath. "Even when you and Bella were close, you never judged me for any of that. When your friends would say stuff, you'd fight with them. As we grew closer, I realized quickly how genuine of a person you are. You don't care what people think about you. You fight for what you believe in, and you make me want to do the same thing. Every day, I realize just how much I admire you. And I don't care if you curse like a sailor, if you hate the way I decorate your bathroom, or if you make fun of my granny-panty drawer. Because every single time that you look at me, I see how much you care. And… though sometimes I feel… like I don't deserve your love... I'm always thankful for it, and I try to never take it for granted..."

She took a second to wipe her tears. "I'm not good at speaking up like you are. I'm not as brave as you, or as confident as you are... but being with you, I feel like I don't have to be any more than what I am. You love me for me, and you remind me all the time. You're my best friend Jake, but you're much more than that. You're the brightest star in my galaxy... guiding me home each night... comforting me when the shadows of my existence try to overtake the room. And I want to be all of those things for you, too. Because I don't know how I'll ever be able to... wake up and not have you there beside me. I fear that day... I dread the mere thought of it."

Rosalie took another breath. "...I've always put up this front that I don't need anyone, screw 'em if they don't like me, who cares. But... you see right through that. You see every single part of me, even the parts I hate, and you point out there beauty even when I don't believe you. You're amazing and I'm thankful for you. But... I want more. So... my question is... Would you please... please... let me stay with you, by your side, forever? Will you let me lift you up as you've lifted me? Can I be the brightest star in your galaxy? ...I know that's a lot of questions," she chuckled nervously, swallowing hard. "Basically, will you, Jacob Allen Black, marry me?"

She opened the box, revealing a platinum band, with a thick, black marbled center going all the way around it.

I took a deep breath, stunned by how well she knew me when she chose that ring. It definitely resembled what I was about. I wore a ring that was black on my right index finger, every day. Black marble, just like that one.

I knelt beside her and shook my head slowly. The only thing that came out of my mouth was, "this wasn't supposed to happen..." and she gasped.

I realized the way it sounded.

Before she could panic, I grasped her hands in my right and pulled a box from my left pants pocket. She gasped again, louder, when I opened it, revealing the set of platinum bands. The minor band held a row of Baguette-cut diamonds, and the major band contained a similar row, with a larger "stone" in the middle made up of four small diamonds.

She stared up at me in shock, and I stared back at her in awe.

"I was going to ask you this weekend," I exhaled, pulling out the rings. "I knew you wouldn't expect it... I know you and I have discussed my fears of marriage, that I'm not necessarily a believer in it. But... I do know that I don't want to wake up one day, or come home from work late one night, and find you gone. Tonight about gave me a heart attack. But... you give me enough hope to try, so I wanted to go ahead and ask you." I inhaled deeply, maybe not sure about this, but absolutely sure of her. "I guess what I'm trying to say is... Yes, I want to marry you. I hope that you want to marry me too."

Rosalie squealed and threw herself into my arms, knocking the rings and the box out of my hands as we fell back onto the hard concrete walkway. She kissed all over my face, her lavender scent swarming my senses as her warm lips met my cheek, my eyelids, my mouth, over and over and over again.

"Yes," she replied, hugging me tight. "Yes, yes, yes. I want to marry you. I've wanted to marry you since you moved me in here, probably before. Yes, yes, yes!"

I laughed and cradled her neck in my hand before I rolled us over, supporting her head so the sidewalk wouldn't hurt her. I had to reach over her body, into the grass, so I could grab the rings. She cried once I slid the minor band on her finger and tucked the other in my pants pocket. Then she slid her ring on my finger.

We were home. Together.

"I can't wait to be Mrs. Black," she whispered, kissing my cheek.

I buried my face in her hair and inhaled her comfort. "I can't wait to be Mr. Dwyer."

She laughed out loud, "No! I get to take your name!"

"But you asked me first."

"It's tradition!"

"Fuck tradition!"

"Fuck _me_!"

I laughed and pulled her up, before throwing her over my shoulder. "_That_ I can do."

I made sure to slap her ass as I ran into the house. The candles, the dinner out on the patio... it could all wait.

The only thing on my mind was making love to my fiancée.

* * *

**The Next Day**

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I came downstairs to find Bella in the kitchen with Masen, nursing. It was strange, being in our house since it was so quiet. Renee went back to her apartment. We'd found Aimee a place not too far from our place. It was all about us now.

I kissed the top of her head and drug my feet to the coffee maker, turning it on.

"How did you sleep?" I asked her as I pulled out two cups.

"So so," she replied slowly with a shrug, rubbing the top of Masen's head. "Couldn't turn my brain off."

"Yeah," I whispered. "It's a big day."

"It is. But I just want to get it over with."

"Me too," I said as I leaned against the bar. "Are you sure I can't go with you?"

She nodded, swallowing hard. "I'm sure. You need to say goodbye to Alice." She hesitated for the briefest second. "…And… I need to do this on my own."

I frowned, unable to tear my eyes from hers. I wished I wouldn't have promised Alice. I'd been so caught up in the revelation of her leaving and realizing I was losing time and losing my best friend all within the matter of minutes that I declared I'd go. It was a hard realization, knowing that Bella and I had pushed the idea of the James confrontation to the back burner so completely because we weren't certain about how to discuss it or handle it. But now, it was time. I didn't want to think about her walking into that jail by herself. I didn't want to think of him being on the same planet, let alone in the same room. He didn't deserve to know she existed. Every single time I thought about it, my stomach flipped and my body shook. I couldn't imagine what was going on inside her head today, even when I tried. It seemed too painful.

"Stop looking at me like that," she chuckled nervously, situating our son against her chest. "Everything is going to be fine, Edward."

"I'd like to go with you," I argued, crossing my arms over my chest. "I really don't like the idea you being near him without me there. I want to be there so I can do somethin-"

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't be there. Edward... everything we go through, we go through together. Everything we feel, every emotion we have, is shared. You'll be with me, even if you're not physically there, every step of the way. And, yes, it would be a comfort to me if you were there. But... if I don't stand up and face him by myself, if I have someone there to hold me up... then he's still beaten me. It's not that I don't want you there, or I'm worried that you'll snap. It's just..." She sighed, frowning up at me, "...I'm sorry baby. It's something I feel I need to do by myself, so he knows that I'm not afraid to stand up to him anymore."

I nodded, unable to respond. My chest ached badly. This was not going to be a good day.

"Besides," Bella stated sweetly, "you have to give Alice a kiss and a hug for me. I know you'll regret it if you're not there to send her off. You already promised you'd be there."

"I know, but-"

"No buts, Edward. I promise. We're all going to be okay."

"I hope so."

"There's no hope about it."

"Okay Bella," I said hesitantly. There wasn't a point to arguing with her. I couldn't make her take me with her.

The next hour was spent getting ready, trying to have a normal conversation with a big fat elephant sitting in the room. After we were all dressed, we sat on the couch as a family. She held Masen in her arms with her knees over my legs, and I had both my arms wrapped completely around her and my son. I've never been a clingy person, and I had always fucking hated it with the fire of a thousand suns when women did that shit. But today... I was the oxymoron; I was clingy Edward.

I did not want to let Bella go. I did not want to let her out of the room, out of my sight, out of my arms. I could protect her here. And it wasn't that I felt she wasn't strong enough to handle all of this by herself, because she's the strongest person I'd ever met in my life. But with me here, she could be multiple times strong... multiple times protected. In my mind, it felt like letting her go was showing that I didn't care enough. And that's all I did when it came to her: Care. Love. Respect. Shelter.

Life without Bella for even the shortest of seconds was not a life that I wanted.

I watched as the clock on our wall ticked slowly, passing time, pushing us closer to a place we didn't want to be. I rested my head on her shoulder, allowing her to hold me just as much as I was holding her. We didn't say much. I knew she wanted to be there to support me and say goodbye to Alice, just as much as I wanted to be with her. But we couldn't. And since we couldn't, we just held onto each other, breathed in each other's essence, and that was it.

Before I realized it, Bella had her things gathered and was ready to go. My chest, my stomach, my head... everything hurt. But I didn't want to show her that and bring her down. Masen and I walked Bella out to my car since we'd traded vehicles for the day. Once her things were inside, she turned to me and smiled confidently. "So... I'll see you in a few hours?"

I nodded, watching as she kissed Masen and told him how much she loved him. "I want you to be safe, Bella. Don't hesitate to call me, even if it's just to hear breathing. I'll be here to comfort you, in any way you need, alright? I'm a phone call away, and I can be there quick if you want me to be."

She smiled beautifully, rose on her tip-toes, and kissed me gently. "That's why I love you," she whispered.

I kissed her mouth, her cheek, and her hair, inhaling as much of my wife as I could. I needed her comfort just as much as she needed mine. "I love you."

"Love you too," she said again.

"Call me."

"I will."

"I mean it, Bella. As soon as you get out, if nothing else. Please call me."

She kissed Masen and then the corner of my mouth once more. "I will," she said. "I promise."

I held her hand until I couldn't anymore, and then she was in my car and down the road. It felt as if my heart went right along with her. My chest was too hollow to have it there.

If I hadn't had my son with me, carrying me though I was holding him, I may have all but fallen apart right there in our driveway. I was grateful that God gave me him, a little piece of Bella that could stay with me whenever she had to go away. Masen took the place of my shelter.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

My feet were like solid lead as I went about the rest of my day. I couldn't get Bella out of my mind. I knew that she would be with police officers and lawyers for the first part of her morning, so that was a little reassurance I could hold on to. I'd have at least an hour of some sort of peace, knowing she'd be safe with them. If not for that, I would probably be hunched in a corner, bald because I would have tugged out all my hair.

Not much was said at Em's house either. It seemed emptier without Alice's things there. Definitely not as bright. All she had was her carry-on luggage. We tried to make simple talk as the four of us headed to Alice's favorite restaurant so she could eat some breakfast. But again, that elephant was always present. No matter how much we tried to steer the conversation to other things going on in our lives, it went right back to either an awkward silence filled with tension, or the subject of her leaving, which was always quickly dropped.

None of us had an appetite. We mostly drank coffee and smiled when we caught a friend looking in our direction. A few rambles here and there.

The drive over wasn't any easier. All I kept thinking about has how I couldn't be with my wife, and how I was losing someone who had grown up beside me and been with me since we were three years old. It wasn't fair. My life seemed to be an abundance of shitty moments today.

Emmett excused himself from the car when we parked at the airport, so Alice and I could talk in private. She sat in the passenger seat relaxed against the head rest, and rolled her head over to look at me. I gave her a half-smile. She sent one back in return.

"So..." she said, shrugging slightly as she rubbed her palms against her jeans, "this is it..."

"It doesn't have to be," I said hoarsely, keeping my eyes on her. "We can make this work so you'll be happy here."

She shook her head slowly, frowning. "No, we can't."

"How do you know unless you try?"

Alice took a deep breath and puffed her cheeks to let the air back. "Honest truth?"

"Please."

"I'm not a hundred percent over my feelings for you. I mean, I am. But, every once in a while, I still have these random thoughts. They happen very sporadically, only when I'm around you, which thankfully hasn't been a lot. But my thoughts still upset me."

"Like what thoughts?"

"It's not fair to you, Bella, or Masen to say what my idiotic brain thinks, Edward."

"I'm _asking _you, Alice. It's not like you'll face anyone tomorrow. Besides... it's more unfair if you were to hide your feelings and no one ever knows the truth."

She shut her eyes and turned her face away, looking uncomfortable as hell. "After we _'cut ties', _I've only allowed myself to be around you a few times, for good reason. I'm still healing. Every other day, I spend with Emmett and Jazz and my other friends. I go to therapy, design clothes, and live my life, and I don't think about you and I like that anymore. In this life, I know that you and her are supposed to make it. But, during those times…"

"But?"

"But," she exhaled, "during the times I'm around you... I find it very easy to become vulnerable enough to slip back into old habits. Adjusting to you and I, the way we were... and... I sometimes wonder if..._ in an alternate universe_... there would ever be a day when you'd chase after me. If you would have let Bella be with Jasper, if I wouldn't have intervened between them, if you wouldn't have slept with her that night in the cabin, if Jazz and I didn't get involved... if maybe you and I would have been together by now."

It became silent in the car, the atmosphere suffocating us. My chest tightened further, squeezing my normally solid frame. I looked out to see Emmett sitting on a curb with my son, shielding him from the sunlight.

"I'm... sorry," I whispered, unsure of what to say at the moment.

"No. _I'm _sorry," she whispered back as she gathered her purse and grabbed for the handle. "Forget I ever said anything. How about we call it a draw? I'll just go and you won't have to wor-"

Reflex struck and I reached over and snatched Alice's wrist, holding her in her seat. "Wait."

She turned to look at me with her lips parted and eyes wide. My heart -- which I'd shut down for my own protection -- seemed to slowly start back up in my chest. "Please..." I whispered as the door clicked closed. "Just... stay here for a moment with me. I want to tell you something."

Alice trembled as she leaned against the passenger door, glancing down to my hand wrapped around her wrist, then back up to my eyes. "...Okay."

I took a deep breath, trying to ground myself. My entire universe seemed to be swaying like a boat caught in harsh seas. I knew I had to let her go, but the selfish side of me was battling.

She tapped my hand, reminding me that I still had a hold of her, and brought me back slowly to earth. "What is it Edward?"

I couldn't speak at first. I furrowed my brows, trying to concentrate, trying to figure out how to let out what I needed to without sounding a certain way and this whole thing getting more fucked up.

"Edward?" she said after a few moments of dead silence.

"I... don't know, Alice," I began. "Now that I have Bella back and Masen in my life, it's impossible for me to imagine where my life would be, _in said alternate universe_, had I not been with Bella that night. But... to be fair to you... yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes... I have wondered about you and me."

"Okay..."

"Before I went to the cabin, before God decided to have mercy on me and fix whatever became fucked up in my life... I thought about a lot of things. I never expected Bella and I to be _friends _again, let alone lovers. I honestly had it in my head that we'd suffer through the entire vacation, avoid each other when we didn't want to fight, and then we would go back to outwardly pretending the other didn't exist for all intents and purposes. There'd be times when I'd be so fed up with the way things were going and try to focus and plan my life for when I'd be able to move on from her, _if _that time ever came. I knew I didn't want to be with Tanya and I had permanent plans to call it quits after we got back from Colorado from the get-go. I think everyone saw how tired I was getting of her..."

"That's an understatement," she replied with a sly smile.

"And," I continued numbly, "I knew that I'd want to try and make it alone for a while, even though the thought of that absolutely killed me. But I figured when I finally regained some sort of balance in my life, with work and friends, I'd eventually begin dating again. _Did I see myself with you? _Yes. I'm not going to lie, Alice. There were plenty of times in the past four years that I thought about wanting to be with you. Anytime that I was alone, anytime that you and I could hang out and chill at the condo, yeah... I thought about it every once in a while. But there were _several _reasons why I didn't do it."

"Like what?"

"Well," I exhaled, shrugging, "most importantly, I knew I'd fail you. I knew that you'd soon realize how fucked up I was as a person, even worse than what you originally thought. The smoke and fog would clear, and you wouldn't want me around, as a boyfriend _or _a friend, because you found out the truth of what I was all along: I was a shitty person. And, I love you too much to fail you. Second, I knew I'd never be able to love anyone again, not powerfully and devoted to them... not since Bella. I didn't have a full heart to give anyone. As wonderful a person as you are and as devoted to me as you were, it still wouldn't be fair to let you love me and that love not be returned the same way. Yes, I would have done anything to keep you from harm. Yes, I was attracted to you, if I admitted it to myself. And, yes, there were times when I wanted to be physical and explore possibilities, but... I had _nothing _to offer. Because of Bella...what happened between us… I was _broken_. And regardless of if I could have moved on from her or not -- _which I knew I couldn't_ -- you didn't deserve to hold the ashes, what _remained _of my heart, in your hands. You deserve someone's whole heart, Alice. And I didn't have that to give."

Her eyes intensified at the honesty of my words. "But wasn't that for me to decide, not you?" She sighed, moving closer to me. She took my face in her hands as her eyes welled up with tears. "Don't you get it, Edward? I've been picking up your pieces since you were three, just as you picked up mine and Emmett's. We were the trio, yes. But you and me... we had this bond that went completely beyond anyone else, and _everyone _knew it. I didn't have to follow you around, you didn't have to follow me... But we stuck it out _together _and we held each other up. We were each other's brick wall in that sense. We had an unbreakable shield."

She bit her lip. "Look, I know nothing can happen now and, like I told you, I'm fine with that. We made choices, we live with them. You chose Bella, I chose to move on . But I've always had this question lingering... and I'd really like you to answer it. Just so I'd know for sure."

"What is it?"

She hesitated momentarily. "My question is... with the time we devoted to each other, especially the last four years before the cabin... why didn't we owe it to ourselves to give it a real try? The sparks were there, they were _constantly _present. Every time you held me in your lap, or whenever you'd take my hand or hug me, every time we spent the night together in your bed or mine, choose each other over other friends or lovers, spend time with family... That day in the pool in the cabin, you held on to me _so tight _and you didn't want to let me go. And I know there was more reason than just you worrying you were going to lose me as your friend. There _had _to be," she said breathlessly, blinking slowly. "Right?"

I frowned and shook my head, pulling her hands from my face and squeezing them tight. "No Alice," I whispered with a frown. "It would have never worked between you and I. Even if we both tried for it."

She wiped the tears from her cheek on her shoulder, allowing me to keep hold of her hands. "I understand. Really I do. But, _why not_?"

My answer was simple. "Bella."

She nodded in understanding, "What if you would have gotten over-"

"Never," I sighed, finally getting it all out and in the open. "I've meant what I've always said since the first day I met Bella. I knew if I were to marry, I was going to marry her. I knew if I was going to have kids, it would be with her. I knew that my life wouldn't make one damn bit of sense without her, and _it didn't_. You and your feelings are proof of that. I'm sorry I've led you on. I'm sorry I was stupid and foolish and selfish for too many years and allowed you to think something that you should have _never _thought. But that's something that _I _have to live with. I love you, Alice. I want you in my life, and I want us to all grow together. But... I _only _want you as my friend, my sister. I'm sorry, but it cannot be anything more than that with anyone else but who I've chosen. Bella is the only person in my world besides my son that I cannot imagine ever _suffering _through a day without."

It became silent again as my words sank in.

We pulled away from each other and leaned against opposite doors.

I prepared myself for the worst.

But then she stunned me. .

She began to laugh. Giggling like a young girl at a boyband concert.

I rubbed my face, looking over at her like she was mad. "I'm sorry," she continued, covering her chest and holding up her other hand. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. _Whooo_."

"...Are you... all right?"

"Mmhmm," she chuckled, wiping the corners of her eyes. "I'm great now."

I looked around the car, trying to find a hidden game show host or something. The universe kept fucking flipping around on me. I couldn't figure this shit out.

She hummed and rounded her shoulders, tall and confident again. "All better now," she stated with a reassuring smile.

"Care to tell me what the hell just happened?"

She smiled and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's the final door closing, exactly what I needed to hear. Yesterday, after I left, I started feeling discouraged about my plans to leave. It was so easy visiting you at the hospital, going back to _'our spot' _in the dirt, being huggy and not worrying about things, and you asking me not to leave... Like I explained earlier, I slipped into the old habit, _the old me_, where I'd question my reasons for going, wonder what you'd do if we had the chance. So for you to tell me the truth, that you _did _consider it, it wasn't all in my head, but you just couldn't do it for your own reasons..." She took a deep breath and her eyes lit up. "Wow. Splash of cold water to wake me up, I guess. The final slap. Much needed. Thank you!"

I blinked slowly at her. I definitely didn't expect that reaction.

She giggled again. "Like I said, I didn't feel that way unless I was in your physical presence. But now I'm here, and you've completely and understandably destroyed all hope of us being together with a few quick words and some strict eye to eye contact and... I've _never _been more certain in my life that now, I should go. No offense to you, but... _thank you _for giving it to me bluntly. My therapist always told me that, once it finally came out, it'd be eye-opening, and it truly is. I love you and I thank you for being so honest with me. You're wonderful."

I turned and stared at my steering wheel and shrugged my shoulders. I was still in shock.

"Basically, I'm saying that now that you've told me the truth, I realize just how much I don't need you like _that.._. Emmett was right."

"Emmett?"

"Yeah. He told me this morning before you got here, that I deserved someone to love me for everything that I am and not a half-percentage less. You pretty much telling me that all I'd get is _ashes from what remained of your heart_... Yep. That about did it for the coffin of the old Alice."

"Are you sure you're stable to get on the plane?" I asked dumbly. But it was the only thought I had that registered

"I am _more _than sure. I'm now looking forward to it, all over again."

I blew out a gust of wind and nodded. What could I say? What did I expect? Her to be crying and attach herself to me like some freak, despite what I told her? Or for her to run from the car, never looking back at me, never hearing from her again? The entire thing had been utterly insane madness.

"You know," she continued. "They say this happens. _The epiphany_. One day, people just wake up and people get out of abusive relationships, or they quit the job they've worked at for twenty years, or they blow their entire life savings and move to Tahiti and make grass skirts. Today, right here, is _my _epiphany. I know I look crazy and you're probably a little freaked out, but really, it just happened so _fast_. Something just came over me, fast like whip-lash, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest. That last heavy weight. It's great!"

I nodded slowly. "Well... okay."

She laughed and pulled me over the console and gave me a tight squeeze. "Oh! I love you so much! Please take care of that baby and Bella. I want you to be happy and I really, really mean it. Call me whenever and come visit me, please. Let's try and rebuild our friendship this way, okay? Long distance is what we need. We can do it!"

"Okay."

She pulled away and clutched my shoulders, smiling proudly. "I gotta get inside now."

I nodded, hiding the sadness of losing my friend. "Okay."

"Love you," she said after she opened the door and leaned back inside to kiss my cheek. "Bunches."

"Love you."

She waved, grabbed her things, and ran over to Emmett. After they put Masen back in his seat and said their final goodbyes to us, I watched as Alice laughed and hopped on Emmett's back so he could carry her into the airport. Once they disappeared, I looked in the backseat at my son as he blinked at me.

"Masen... What... the hell... just happened there?"

He didn't do anything besides kick his feet in his white and blue striped onesie.

I took a deep breath, adjusted my shades, and started the car again. "Let's get out of here and call your mother."

* * *

**JasperPOV**

I smiled and rose to my feet with Mr. Turner, shaking his hand firmly over his desk.

"Welcome to the school, Mr. Whitlock," he grinned, patting me on the back.

"Thank you, Sir."

"If you'll just go to the front office, Miss Brunyett will give you everything you need. The classroom is unoccupied at the moment, so feel free to make yourself familiar with the halls, the shortcuts, get acquainted with the arrangements. If you have any questions, the buzzer to the intercom is always to the left of your door. Buzz her, and we'll be able to help."

"Thank you again sir," I said as he led me out to the front desk.

Miss Brunyett, with her mix of blonde and gray hair, lifted her eyes from the desk and smiled up at me politely. "You must be Mr. Whitlock?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Call me Janette, please," she smiled, and the riddle of Janette Brunyett repeated in my head several times. "Here's everything you need; class schedule, arrangements, program cd's to help you line up your assignments and plan everything accordingly, book lists from the school library you may gather for your students to take home and study, so on and so forth. Your class is on the second story. Take the east stairs, wind two corners, third door on the left between the red and blue lockers. Anything else you need, feel free to buzz."

"Thank you, Janette," I replied as I gathered the materials.

It felt weird, walking the halls of high school again. Like slipping back in time. I did alright in school, making honor roll and participating in sports. My biggest accomplishment back then was a cross between taking state and becoming class president both junior and senior years. People always said that you'd want to go back after you finished and lived life for a few years. As I wandered the halls and made my way up the steps, I noticed the hanging glittered banners and scuffs from shoes along the floors, and I realized just how true it was.

I belonged in a school. I wanted to teach. It had always been my dream. I couldn't believe that. in just a few short weeks, I'd be here every day. I couldn't wait.

I trailed my fingertips down the textured wall, across the lockers, until I stopped in front of the door.

Room 402. _Home_.

Walking into the classroom had an entire different feel. Everything seemed new... full of hope.

I smiled as I trailed the rows of empty desks. I tried to imagine the personality of the student that occupied each one. Was it a bookworm? A nerd? A jock with an attitude problem? A loner? Someone who slept through the class every day? Someone caught passing notes on a regular basis? With each personality characteristic, I imagined how I'd handle the situation. Would I be the teacher who most people learned to love, the one who was cool and let the small things slip? Or would I be the one who was over-focused on the education purpose and didn't pay attention to anyone or anything else, forcing the students to hate me?

A light tap on the door frame interrupted my thoughts, and I jerked my head toward the door to find a pretty lady wearing a pencil skirt, blazer jacket, and tiny glasses. Her black hair streamed in a low ponytail over her left shoulder and, when she smiled, my heart calmed from the quick start.

"I'm sorry," she replied softly, "I didn't mean to startle you."

"No, no, it's okay."

"Am I interrupting anything?"

"Oh, just... me and all my friends," I stated, waving my arm around at the emptiness.

The woman giggled and crossed her arms over her chest. "You must be Mr. Whitlock."

"I am," I replied. "You can call me Jasper. Please, come in." Her low heels clicked along the tile floor as she entered the classroom and followed me over to the desk, scattered with stacks of manila envelopes, paper dividers, staplers, pens, and a globe. "And you are?"

"My name is Angela," she replied sweetly. "Angela Weber. I teach English Lit, right across the hall, room four-thirty. I also run the photography/yearbook projects."

I shook her hand. "Pleasure meeting you."

"Pleasure's mine," she replied. "First year?"

"Yes," I exhaled, taking a seat behind the desk. "It will be my first time, also."

"It's my first year as well," she stated. "You'll do fine. The first week will be a little overwhelming, but I'm right across the hall, so if you ever need to swing by and vent, know I'm only a few steps away."

"I'll keep that in mind," I replied, grinning at her. "Thank you, Angela."

"Anytime."

We smiled at each other, and for some reason, I felt my heart kickstarting. She seemed kind, so sweet and tender-hearted... and completely unaware of the way she held a room. I liked that. My conscience got the best of me and my eyes trailed to her hands. No ring. _Interesting_.

"May I ask how you selected teaching for your career?" she said as she took a seat in the first desk of the second row, crossing her legs beneath it.

"I've loved History since I was small," I replied as I leaned the chair back. "Everything about it. A lot of my friends didn't like it, said it was all boring, it was in the past. As I grew older, I kept trying to figure out a way to express my passion, keep people interested in all of the events that led up to where our country is today. Teaching came to mind very quickly. It seemed perfect for the road I wanted to take."

She beamed and tilted her head. "Ahhhh. A _passionate _teacher to boot. Those are hard to find around here, especially in a small school in the big city like this one. Teachers rank here by seniority and you'll be quickly reminded of how they don't even try to hide that fact."

"Thanks for the tip."

"You're welcome."

I grinned at her. "How about yourself?"

"I majored in Education, specializing English Literature, and minored in Photography. Hence the double position I hold now. I found that it was okay to be a 'book worm', to be a 'nerd'. Books could take me places that the television and radio couldn't. I found it... empowering... to be sitting in one room and exploring a book... and then suddenly it feels as if I'm swept away in some foreign land, living a different life for a few hours... It's incredible."

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Well then," Angela smiled, "seems like we're going to get along very well."

"Yes, it does."

She stood up, wiping her hands along her skirt. "Well... I better get back. Papers to grade."

I stood up with her, wishing she could stay a little longer. I didn't know anyone here at the school yet. It would have been nice to make a friend. We shook hands again, and the smile would not leave my face. "Well... it's been great to learn a little about you, Mrs. Weber. I hope we'll learn more as time passes."

"_Miss _Weber," she corrected me, not missing that I had done that on purpose, as obvious from her blush. "And yes... we will."

I caught a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, and then she was gone, across the hall to her classroom. The door closed quietly behind her. I stared at the numbers to her room for a moment, and felt a sense of warm wash over me. Things could definitely get interesting.

My phone chirped and I pulled it out quickly so it'd stop echoing down the empty halls. "Hello?"

"Hey Jazz, it's Alice."

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you boarding now?"

"In about an hour. My phone's about to die though, so I wanted to go ahead and call you and let you know that I made it to the airport okay. Edward and Emmett took me. E said goodbye already. I didn't want him to actually come in the airport. So I have Emmett instead."

"How'd it go?"

I could almost hear her smiling through the phone. "Really well. We said goodbye, which was sad because it's one thing to imagine it and another to actually go through it. But... it was what was supposed to happen today."

"I'm proud of you, Alice. Keep getting stronger for me."

"I will," she giggled. "Just... wanted to tell you that I love you and I hope you'll stick to your promise of coming to visit me this coming summer."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, angel. Love you too. Call me when you land, even if it's from a payphone."

"K. Talk to you soon."

"Tell Emmett I say hello."

"Will do. Bye babe."

"See ya."

As I walked over to grab my belongings, another tap of knuckles came from the door. I smiled, wondering what Angela had forgotten, and turned to see... not Angela.

"Colleen," I said, walking over to her. "Hey! What are you doing here?"

She smiled and gave me a hug, "Alyssa and I were about to get some food. Wanna join?"

"Of course," I said, patting Alyssa on the top of her head. "What did you have in mind?"

"Ohhhhh, what about some onion rings?"

"Ewww," Alyssa cringed, attaching herself to her mother's left leg and sitting on her shoe. "I don't wike onion wings."

"Well, you can get something else," Colleen giggled as we entered the hallway, dragging her daughter down the hall. As we passed by Angela's room, she came outside, carrying a stack of papers. She blew her falling hair from her face and closed the door with her hands full, before catching a glimpse at us.

She blushed, straightening her body out and resituating her things. "Take care, Mr. Whitlock."

"Bye, Ms. Weber. See you soon."

She nodded, glancing from Colleen and Alyssa. We rounded the corner and Colleen nudged me, giggling. "Oooh, Jazz. Getting around fast, aren't ya?"

"Shut up," I laughed. "Come on, I'm starving."

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

Alice clicked along her laptop, transferring her files via satellite to the computer at her new office. I watched the folders, one by one, being sent over. Each representing how real it was.

I was about to lose my friend. Maybe not everything about her, but we'll definitely never be this close again.

I did my best to hide the constant pain in my chest, the erratic flip of my nervous system. I made her laugh, gave her a piggy back ride, joked about the people around us.

Of course, I wanted to tell her all the things I was thinking, all that I was feeling.

But I didn't want to make this any harder than it already was for her. No matter how many times she tried to smile and show confidence, I knew she was going to miss this place and us too.

It just seemed like, at this moment, her feelings were more important than my own. And if she wanted to go, I had to let her go.

I couldn't go any further than the security checkpoint, so she decided to stay and wait, and we'd time it so she'd still make her plane with no problem.

We sat by the window, her munching on chips and working quietly, and me... just trying to control myself and keep shit at bay.

I felt like a damn girl.

Alice turned and looked at me as I pulled the cap from my head and sat it on my knee. "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?" she said as she reached and stole it from my leg. "Head itch?"

"Nah."

"I love this newsboy hat."

"I know " I forced a smile at her. "You tell me all the time."

"It's cute."

"Thanks." I wrapped my arm behind her on the chair. "Almost done with that file shit?"

"Yep, almost," she grinned. "I'm so glad Tammy's there, getting all of this. I still can't believe she left a day early just for me."

"She's a good assistant."

"Yeah. I think she wants a raise."

"Probably," I laughed, rubbing the back of my neck. "As if moving to New York with you isn't enough."

"It's a big adjustment," she sighed. "But she said she wanted to go."

"I understand why she would," I said, smiling at her. "She doesn't have to lose you that way."

Her bottom lip puckered . "Awww, Em. You promised you weren't going to make me sad today!"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," I exhaled, watching the people passed us by in quick motions.

She lay her head on my left shoulder. "It's okay. I still love you."

"That's what you keep telling me," I said as I looked down at her face. My eyes did a quick roam of her soft, creamy skin, her full lips. For such a skinny girl, she sure had some extreme features.

"You know what gets me at airports?" she said, pulling away and looking at all the passengers, back in quirky mode.

I straightened up as well. "What's that?"

"The goodbyes and hellos. Watching everyone greet someone or say goodbye to them... Most are quick, but then you get that one couple... like that one right there…" She sighed a little as she pointed to a couple caught in a deep kiss, arms wrapped completely around each other. "And they just steal the entire show away. Blow everyone else's joy out of the water."

"Why, because they over-exercise the definition of 'public display of affection'?"

"No," she rolled her eyes, nudging my ribs. "Because they're so caught up in extreme joy, or overwhelming sadness, for getting that person back or leaving them. And they can't _help _but show it... right there... right here, surrounded by all these people."

"The only people who act like that in real life are actors and drama queens. The rest of us wait until we're somewhere more private."

"Not always."

"The sane ones then."

"Who cares about being sane? Sane is overrated. I'd much rather be insane, and happily in love one day."

"I'm sure you'll find it in New York," I scoffed sarcastically. "All those people there are so busy, I don't know how they make time to wipe their own ass with their busy schedules and hustle-bustle. They probably get someone else to do it for them."

Alice turned and glared at me, dropping her hands to her lap. "I pity you, Emmett."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

As time crept, I felt my body literally itching. I hated it. I hated every single damn thing about it.

I wasn't good with this. I wasn't good with change. I wasn't good at accepting there was no other way.

I pursed my lips and turned to Alice, who had her stuff packed away now, and was ready to go, "So... almost time, huh?"

"Yeah..."

I stood up, gathered her things for her, and extended my free hand. "Come on, I'll walk you until we can't walk any farther."

She smiled sweetly. "That'd be great."

Her tiny fingers intertwined with mine and we made our way to the back of the long line awaiting a security check point. "So," I exhaled, squeezing her hand, "are you going to miss me at all? Or are you going to jump for joy as soon as you're in that plane, knowing how long of a break you'll get from having me there to annoy you?"

She curled into my arm, pressing the side of her face against it. "Of course I'll miss you. I think you're the person I'll miss the most out of everyone."

"Whatever. Including _Edward_?"

"Yeah. Including Edward."

"I'm shocked. I thought he was your ultimate best friend or whatever, despite the distance."

Alice shook her head, and I could tell she was growing sad. "I love him and will always be happy for what we had. But, he hasn't been my best friend in months. You have. You've been there for everything, every step of the way."

Keeping our hands intertwined, I held hers behind her back and pulled her body into my chest, resting my chin on top of her head. "I really suck at goodbyes, Alice."

"Me too."

"I don't want you to leave. You're my best friend, too, you know?"

"I know," she said, pushing her face into my shirt. "My heart hurts more saying goodbye to you than anyone else. And I've said a lot of goodbyes this past week."

I pursed my lips, fighting my emotions. "Not real sure... how to do this," I murmured. "I don't know what I'm going to do without you by my side. You're like my wingman... with breasts."

She giggled through her tears but didn't show me her face, as she wrapped her arms around me tighter. "We've had some good times."

"Eight years of good times," I redefined, moving us up in line, even though I dreaded it.

"I'll always remember our special days... I'll always remember... pink laundry day," she giggled, thinking of when she threw her hot pink socks in my washing machine and all my white briefs faded to a nice shade of carnation pink, "...or back-packing day," she continued, remembering when she and I went hiking weeks back, and she slipped and fell and I tripped over her and we both slid down the dirt and landed in the weeds, "...and never, ever forget sexual scrabble day."

I grinned. "That was a great night."

"It was," she giggled. "From start to finish."

I nodded, tightening my grip around her even more. There wasn't an inch of space between us. I wasn't sure how we managed to walk in a straight line anymore, especially with her facing me. But I'd be damned if I let her go. For her, I'd risk a broken ankle or two.

Alice sighed, and we listened in silence as peoples' items went through the machine, beeping and scanning.

The seconds flew by, and before we knew it, we went from being sixty to fifteen people away from being forced apart.

My heart clenched and I furrowed my brows and scooped her face up in my hands, forcing her to look at me. She had tears in her eyes, her fingers locked around my wrists.

This was not going to be fucking easy at all.

I wanted to break down. I wanted to literally break down and beg her to stay here with me.

"You know," she giggled through her tears, breaking the silence between us, "strange how you're the person I've hated sometimes, and are now the person I... don't want to..." She started choking on her words and pushed away from my grip, back into my shirt. "You annoy the hell out of me Emmett," she sniffled, shaking her head. "You're loud, and obnoxious, and you think you know it all, all of the time... You never think before you say or do anything, and you've gotten Edward and I in so much trouble... But... Every day with you is eventful. Whether I laugh my ass off, which is most of the time we're together, or cry my eyes out during the sad times. You always make me _feel _something. You remind me that I'm _real_."

I bent my knees and pulled her into a tight hug, pushing my face into her neck. I motioned with my hand to let the people behind us go past us in line. _Just a few... Give me a few more moments with my friend._

"And," she sobbed, tugging on the ends of my hair, "...I'm afraid that... even though moving to New York is what I think is best for me... that I won't feel _as real _without you. I mean... how can I, when you hold a piece of me, you know? You're my best friend. You're so wonderful."

I had to be strong for her. She couldn't do this by herself.

I kissed her neck and the side of her face a few times. "You have to do what you have to do," I whispered, forcing myself to believe it. I took her face in my hands again, and wiped her tears with the pads of my thumb. "When we were in tenth grade, you told me once that your dream was to move to New York City and be a fashion designer. This is your dream, Alice. I want you to go for it."

She looked up at me and furrowed her brows, confused. "You remember me telling you that?"

"Yeah," I whispered, my voice much more hoarse now. "You told me that your mom said you'd never make it, that people at school were teasing you because you had on those... whatchamacallit's... those bright pink leotard things under that black leather skirt... and you told me that people in New York didn't care, that it was high fashion, not something that Forks kids would understand. You told me you wanted to go there, where you'd fit in."

She giggled, sniffling, "I cannot believe you remembered that!"

I nodded, brushing the ends of her hair off her shoulders. It was getting long. It looked good on her. "Of course I remember."

Her smile turned to a frown and she jumped, throwing herself in my arms. I held her off the ground as people grumbled and pushed past us.

"I'll love you to the stars and back, a thousand times over," she whispered in my ear.

I closed my eyes and reluctantly set her feet back on the ground.

"Go," I whispered, wiping her face one last time. "I'll miss you."

She held my hand until she couldn't, and stood in line while I stepped out of it. I watched as she frowned and fought back tears, just as I did. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest.

"Love you," she whispered, waving to me.

I nodded and smiled at her. I was too choked up to tell her back, though I wanted to. I knew I'd start crying. And crying is something that had happened once in my entire life. Maybe twice.

"Em?" She cried and tilted her head, looking impossibly more sad as the person in front of her stepped through the checkpoint. "Please... come here real quick."

I held my breath and walked to her with my hands in my pockets, leaning into the roped-off area. The guard took in not only my size, but also the look on my face. I must have looked as threatening as a lost child. It's how I felt

She told the person behind to hold her place, then ran over, took my face in her hands, pulled me down, and pressed her lips gently to mine. I was stunned at first, but when our lips molded together, it broke my heart even further. She tasted of watermelon and salt from her tears; everything I'd miss about her. Our lips parted and our tongues collided slowly, nothing desperate or pleading about the way we moved, just loss and love.

We wanted to savor it.

I wished I hadn't gotten out of line, so I could fully wrap my arms around her and pull her to me. I did it as much as I could, and we only broke for air when we needed to breathe. Her fingers wound in my hair, knocking off my hat, but I didn't care. I held her hair as well, pulling her closer to me by the back of her neck.

_Stay_, I thought to myself, my heart squeezing tightly. _Tell her to fucking stay here with you._

All too soon, Alice pulled away from me, and I wasn't sure if she'd been crying or I had, since both our faces were wet.

_Tell her the truth, Emmett. Speak the fuck up and tell her what you're thinking. Tell her it can be different. _

I opened my mouth, but she quickly covered my lips with her fingers, smiling through the salt and water that glistened in her beautiful eyes. Alice shook her head as the tears fell, and slowly backed away, leaving me where I stood. I quickly bent down and picked up my hat, then tossed it at her. She could keep it since she loved it so much. I had plenty of them.

I watched numbly as she returned to the line and gave her things to the guard, looking back at me every few seconds. The guards scanned her body and had her walk through the machine, and then she looked back at me again.

I wasn't sure what she meant by what she did, but she chose to leave anyway. So it wouldn't matter what I said.

I stayed stiff until she collected her things and rode up the escalator until I couldn't see her anymore.

I was an idiot. I let her go.

And I hated myself for it.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

For the first hour and a half, I sat in silence in Darleene Meade's office, staring off into space.

For days, I had believed that, when the moment came, my mind would be overloaded with all the things I wanted to say to James. But, once there, I was a blank slate. I'd finished my testimony twenty minutes ago, given all the gory facts, dates, and details about the night it all took place and my previous relationship with him. It was easy for me to move out of my body, be a hardened, empty shell, and speak robotically.

But somehow, I knew this would be different. I'd face him. I'd have to be in close quarters with him and, not only would I see his face and hear his voice, but I'd smell him, too. I was scared to death that the smell of him would remind me of the smell of him on _me_, and I wouldn't be able to stomach it.

I still didn't know if I could handle it at all.

Many times, Darleene or her partners had offered me their assistance, stating they could stand behind me, show me comfort and show him that I was protected from him, remind him not to try anything. But I didn't want them there. Even if my broken mind told me that it'd be easier, I just had to do this by myself. Or else I'd never do it.

I reached down for my phone nervously, opened my messages, and glanced at the last text message Edward sent me ten minutes ago: _You're so strong, baby. You remind me every minute. I'm right there with you, Masen and I. You can do it. I love you, and am extremely proud of you. I can't wait until you're back in my arms, safe and sound_.

I wanted to write him back. I also wanted to pick up my phone when he called earlier. But I couldn't. I'd save it all for after.

Darleene handed me a cup of water, and I smiled graciously at her. My nerves were taut and the water felt good going down my dry throat.

"What are you thinking?" Darleene asked as she sat on the corner of her desk.

"About my son," I replied hoarsely, with a shrug. "My husband."

"Miss them?"

I nodded slowly, "Every second."

"I bet they're extremely proud of you for doing what you have to do."

I squeezed my phone. The background picture was of Edward and Masen asleep on the couch, with Spendor and Cora on Edward's legs. "I think they are too."

My eyes swelled up with tears and I blinked them away, looking up at the ceiling. "I never imagined I'd be able to do this. I never thought he'd be caught. I'm thankful that he is, but in a way, it saddens me to know that another girl, one who was much younger than me, had the strength to do what I couldn't do. She saved herself and plenty of others, being that courageous. I could never have done it."

"You'd be surprised at what you'll be able to do. Rachel may have turned him in, but she doesn't believe she'll have the strength to face him. She'd never be able to sit a few feet from him and tell him what she thought. And you can."

"I thought I could..."

"You _can_, Bella. You're your father's daughter. I know how much strength you have in you... It parallels Charlie's, and then some."

I nodded, looking down to my lap, "I miss him every day." My voice was so low, I barely heard the words.

"He was a wonderful man, and he raised a wonderful, brilliant daughter. He's with you forever, Bella."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She left me alone to my thoughts, which I was thankful for. I took a few deep breaths, rubbed my arms fervently, prepared myself. I told myself that even if I could only get a few words out, no matter what those words were, then that'd be enough. I'd do what I set out to do.

"Two minutes," her partner said, as he stuck his head in her office.

"Thanks Alan," she replied, returning to her typing.

My heart felt like lead, pounding down into my stomach. I inhaled and stood up, sticking my phone in my purse. "I'm ready when you are."

She pushed back from her desk and stood up, her keys jingling on her belt. "Great, Bella." She walked over to me and rubbed my arms. "Remember, chin up in there. I'm only a step away, if you need me. He cannot touch you. There will be glass between you. If it's too scary, let me know. Okay?"

"Yes," I replied softly.

Her hand on my back, she led me down the empty, echoing hall. Around corners we went, left and then right, down another stretch, a half-flight of steps, another hall, and to the left. I could take shallow breaths, but that was it. There was a part of me that knew what was coming, and a part of me that just wanted to lay down on the cold ground and breathe for a few hours.

Darleene stopped in front of a door with a tiny square window on it. I didn't dare look through. Not yet.

"Okay Bella," she said with a smile. "You ready?"

I took another deep breath, and blew it out slowly. My body was jittery, my hands clammy. I closed my eyes, gathered my thoughts, and nodded my head slowly.

"I can do this," I stated breathlessly. "I can."

"You can," she reassured me, rubbing my back. "Whenever you're ready, walk through that door. He knows you're here."

"...Okay..." I didn't know if it was a good thing, him knowing I was here. But it didn't matter. I was going to face him either way. I controlled my breathing and relaxed my arms, sticking my hands in the pockets of my black pants.

I didn't have any words of encouragement for myself, no pep talk available. I never imagined I'd be doing this. And yet... here I was. All I had to do was walk through the door.

A smothered smile fell from my lips as I turned to Darleene. "Open it." She studied my eyes for a brief moment, then the door buzzed and opened.

I kept my chin up and walked in, not looking in the direction of the glass. I wasn't breathing at all. I listened to his chair screech across the floor as he adjusted his position . I was here. In his presence.

_Don't pass out, Bella_.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself, then turned to my right and put my hands on the back of the chair. ...And there he sat

James.

Leaning back in a chair, one leg extended, slouched a little, his head tilted. His short blonde hair a rattled, greasy mess. His eyes were cold, blackened, and hollow as he studied me. I felt them traveling from my waist, all the way to the top of my head. I refused to cringe away, no matter how disgusted I felt.

I held my stance and fought back any sign of tears.

Time passed.

"Well?" was all he said as he stared at me. That disgusting voice brought memories flooding back in waves. Making it all the more real.

My heart dropped an inch. I knew I needed to move, but I didn't want to sit down. I settled with shifting my feet ever so slightly.

I opened my mouth to speak, and took a long breath. Then I finally met his eyes.

It was silent. The air between us was charged with animosity, revulsion and hatred.

I glared at him.

"If you're not going to say anything, Isabella, then don't waste my time. It's precious around here-"

"Just shut up," I whispered, before rounding my shoulders. "Just... _shut up_. You're on _my _time, not yours. Not now."

He stared at me intently and actually closed his mouth. He wasn't used to me talking back to him. I never had.

I couldn't rip my eyes off of him, and I could not hide my disgust. I didn't know where this strength was coming from. Two minutes ago, I wanted to cower on the ground. And now, here I was, and all I wanted to do was run through the glass and choke the life out of him. But I couldn't move. All I could do was simply stare for a minute.

My breath hitched, but I quickly found my resolve and straightened my back. I didn't want to feel defeated, no matter how much this hurt. I didn't want him to have time to think.

"I know that after I leave, you're going to do a few things. You're going to put on your stupid attitude, pretend nothing I say has phased you. Tell yourself that you're right and I'm wrong. That you don't care what you did to me, that you still think I deserved it, and you did nothing bad... And I don't give a shit if that's what you do. Because... right now... you _have _to listen to me."

He straightened his body and leaned closer to me, folding his hands over the half table connected to the glass between us.

He didn't reply.

Only stared.

My animosity heightened. I looked him straight in the eyes and said, "You _disgust _me."

James chuckled and shook his head, sighing annoyingly. Then he glanced back up at me. I didn't move.

"Yeah. That's right. Fucking laugh. Pat yourself on the back for what you've done to me. To all those other girls."

His grin widened. But something flickered behind his mask. I could see the crack in facade.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, James. You're such a big man, such a strong man..."

Before I realized what I was doing, I flipped the chair back against the wall and stormed to the glass, gripping the table in front of me so hard that it made grinding noises against my fingernails. "Let me ask you something, you sick fucking asshole. What kind of redemption do you feel having to force a woman to have sex with you? Hmm? Is that what you get off on? Making them do shit when they begged you _not _to do it? Let me tell you something right fucking now. You are _not _a man. You are not _strong_. You are not _powerful_. And no matter how many times you fucking accomplished your sick and twisted goal of ruining women's lives, you DID. NOT. WIN."

I leaned closer to the glass, narrowing my eyes, seeing red now. "Do you know what a fucking man is, James? It's not you. You're nothing but a pathetic piece of skin, with no heart and no fucking brains. You pride yourself on victimizing people, so you feel power over them, because you'll never get it any other way. Well you didn't win with Rachel. That young girl turned your ass in, and here you are finally sitting behind bars, where you deserve to be. The only thing I have to tell you is that I am sorry, James."

He tilted his head in question, but didn't dare speak up.

"Yeah. I am sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't fucking kill you _myself_. I'm sorry that I didn't know my _husband _wanted to kill you, because _had _I known that you were there at my family's cabin and said what you said to him, I WOULD have let him fucking kill you. And most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't have the nerve back then to stand up and do what's right, report you my fucking self. Yes, the shit you did ruined a lot of things in my life, including my self-esteem. But you didn't ruin _ME_. Not all of me."

He was speechless. All he did was blink. No more grinning.

I couldn't tear my eyes from his sickening face. "I am standing here today, in front of your twisted, demented ass, telling you that I am not dead. The scars, the wounds, the flashbacks, I'll live through that and I'll get better. Because living through that means living, _period_. And that's what I'm doing. I'm free now. I'm free to fucking do what I want, when I want. I have a life, a career, a home. I have a fucking husband who loves me more than everyone else in this entire world, and I have a son who needs me with his every breath. So, yeah. Fucking sit over there and smirk. Grin and convince yourself that you did a fine job, fucking me when I told you no. Fucking those girls when they cried for help. Yeah, you're a proud man. Give yourself a high five. Do whatever it takes to get you through the fucking day, James. I don't give a shit. But you need to know that you _didn't _win. You didn't break me down. No, I got up. And I'm _still _up. I will happily struggle through _any _memory I have of you because no matter how much it brings me down in that moment, I will _not _let you have the pleasure of seeing me cry, even if you're only in my after-thoughts. Not anymore. Those days are done. And they are never coming back, no matter how many times your sick and mentally disturbed ways try to sneak back into my soul. You're _never _getting in again."

He tried to speak but I cut him off. "Look me in the eye, James. I want you to stand up and look me in the eye. DO IT."

It took a few minutes, but I stood there, anger rolling off me in waves, and I waited him out.

He eventually stood up and pressed his palms flat on the surface of the table, leaning in to face me. If it weren't for the glass between us, we'd almost be touching.

"I have but one last thing to say to you, and I want you to look at me when I say it. Remember this face. Remember how utterly disgusted I am with you. And remember that _I _stood here in front of you, with all the strength and the courage that you thought you once took from me, and that I told you, without reservation, to go _fuck _yourself."

With that, I pushed myself off of the table and walked out without another glance in his direction.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

The feeling of opening the front door to the prison and walking down the sidewalk with the officers... it was the ultimate high.

I never expected it. Before this, part of me expected to crawl to Edward's Volvo, wrap myself in the interior, and cry my eyes out.

But there were no tears.

I inhaled the fall breeze, tasted it on my tongue, and said a silent prayer thanking God for giving me the strength and courage to do what I needed.

It was times like these that proved to me even more that He was real and was there for me.

When we crossed through the high electric fences, I shook hands with the officers and gave Darleene a tight squeeze. "I'm very proud of you," she said, still giggling. "I was watching behind the door. The look on that bastard's face was priceless. You hit him like a train, Bella. He never saw it coming."

I exhaled and pulled away.

"I almost wish there were no glass between the two of you," she continued. "I would have paid any amount to let you rip him a new one."

I squeezed her hands, "No... I'm happy it happened just the way it did. My words meant more than me knocking that fucker's head off."

She laughed and hugged me again, telling me she'd be in touch and to drive home safely. I took one final glance at the prison behind me, with all its grime and dank and disgusting, and I smiled to myself. That's where he was going to be. There was no way in hell a judge would let him off with all the evidence against him.

So there he stayed. And there I left.

I almost skipped to the car, so proud of myself. Each breath I took was a deep one, as if my lungs could never get enough. I loved the smell of air. Of car oil. Of birds, and trees, and clouds, and the asphalt below me. Everything seemed so much more beautiful now. It all had new meaning.

_I _was new again.

When I inched closer to my car, I noticed someone leaning against it, with his hands in his pockets and legs crossed. Dark jeans, grey vest, white shirt, dark jacket, bronzed hair spiked in every timeless direction.

_My angel._

The smile on my face grew immensely.

"Edward!" I screamed in shock, running to him as quickly as I could. My heart raced as the distance grew shorter. He pushed off the car and grinned at me, and I threw myself into his arms... and I was home.

Tears leaked from my eyes, but they weren't of anger or resentment from the realities of what just happened. Instead, they were joy, and triumph, and victory, and passion.

Edward was my prize. My gift for defeating my shadows.

"What are you _doing _here?" I asked breathlessly, latching tighter to his body. My legs, my arms, anything I could, were wrapped around him. I thought he would still be with Alice and Emmett, or at home.

His velvet chuckle filled my ears. "How on earth could I go home or be anywhere else, knowing you'd be here?"

I breathed in his minty, fresh smell, drowned myself in him. I would happily have suffocated, right then and there.

Exhaling slowly, I kissed the side of his neck and face as he slowly lowered me back to the ground. "I love you so much, Edward. So, so much."

"I love you, too," he said calmly, his lips meeting my cheek and eyelids, his hands cupping my face. "I'm not going to ask how it went until you want to tell me. You just need to know I am so proud of you."

"Okay..." I smiled, thankful he understood me the way he did. He was a miracle. "Thank you. Where's Masen?"

"Asleep," he said, motioning beside him. My car was turned on, the air comfortable, my son's head crooked as he slept in his carseat.

I smiled at the pure sight of him and took my husband's hand.

"Home?" he asked with my special crooked grin.

_...And sweeter words had never been spoken._

"Home."

* * *

**AlicePOV**

Flying completely across the country was exhausting. Especially by yourself. Especially with the time change.

I hated that I had a layover, and on top of being so sad that I couldn't even eat, I was mentally drained to the max by the time I landed in Chicago. I begged the guy sitting in the seat beside me to wake me up if I fell asleep. He thankfully obliged, obviously understanding the suckiness of traveling long distances.

My carryon bag slipped off the chair onto the ground and I crawled down next to it, wrapping myself in the baby blanket I brought, with the luggage beneath my head. I closed my eyes just to rest, but every time I did I saw flashes of my life. Flashes of growing up with Edward, flashes of Jasper, flashes of my friends, other ex-boyfriends, flashes of high school and college memories, of choices, decisions, mistakes, and regrets in my life,... and a lot of flashes of Emmett's expressions.

That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Leaving my friends and loved ones.

I had imagined saying that final goodbye to Edward would be the hardest I'd have to say. But after finally discussing the raw truth of our situation and, with him being so bluntly honest, I found it... _refreshing _to walk away. Not that I wouldn't miss the hell out of him, because I would, immensely. But I knew, without a doubt, that it was best that we separate and grow in different directions for a few years.

But Emmett... I didn't expect it to be that hard. I knew he didn't want me to leave and was sad that I was going. But I didn't expect the emotions to rile up so quickly.

I had to force myself to go. More than wanting to stay with Edward, if he had ever chosen me instead of his life with Bella... I wanted to stay with Emmett. Keep him as my best friend. Keep him around me and grow with him.

But the decision had been made, we were in the middle of the airport, and I convinced myself that the aching emotions I felt were natural, and it was truly for the best.

So I went.

And he, and everyone else that mattered to me, stayed behind.

I threw my arm over my face, crossed my ankles, and sighed hard.

It was the right decision. I knew it was. So I couldn't figure out why my body felt this heavy, as if gravity was trying to ground me here.

I didn't belong in Seattle, not like before. I needed the fresh start. It was what I had to do.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

It'd been over a year and a half since the last time I visited the big city.

A year and a half since I heard the horns blaring, witnessed the crowded sidewalks, the cramped intersections, and the various hot dog stands. Those things were on every freakin' block. It was much darker here, with the time change.

I stared out my cab window, up the large buildings as far as my neck would crane. "Wow," I whispered, watching them pass by. "...So pretty."

I watched a young girl getting towed behind her mother, wearing Ugg boots, tripping over the curb. Her mother stopped talking on her cell phone to pull her up, then she was right back at it. She didn't even check for marks. The next corner had faces from every continent occupying it, standing in front of a huge tower building. It looked like a rainbow, from albino to black and all the human colors in between. I giggled at the differences and similarities they each held.

Clothes store after clothes store, strip mall after another, tattoo shops, bars, clubs, record labels, Chinese restaurants, Thai restaurants, Mexican restaurants, fancy restaurants, vegan shops, delis, fast food... They had it all. There was so much of everything, mixed all together. Every street had something different. Billboards everywhere. Up high, down the side of buildings, attached to the trash cans.

After a decent car ride, we finally made our way to Fifth Avenue and Central Park South, to the front of _The Plaza_, aka, my new home. I was automatically greeted, motioned inside with my carryon, signed in, and led up to my room without any wait. That's what I loved about places with money. If you had it, you could get anything with the snap of your fingers. That's what was so great about New York. They wanted to move just as quickly as you did. It was as if Earth itself had a revolving door.

After they showed me around the condominium, I noticed my belongings were already put away, I dropped down on the crisp white sofa and gawked at my beautiful penthouse view, smiling.

I was there. In the city. In my new home.

After I relaxed and took a nice, hot shower, I pulled out my phone. First, I texted Jasper, Edward, and my mom to let them know I had arrived.

Then I dialed slow and rolled my eyes at the stupid lyrics blaring through the speaker; _'Put your right hand out, give a firm hand-shake. Talk to me about that one big break... Spread your ear-pollution both far and wide... Keep your contributions by your side and stroke me, stroke me... Could be a winner boy, you move quite well... Stroke me, stroke me_...'

"Yello?"

"Emmett?"

"Yeah, hey," he replied, his voice much more hoarse than when I saw him earlier. "Did you make it there okay?"

"Yep. Got in about an hour ago. How are you?"

"Fine."

I waited. "...Just fine."

"Yeah. What's it like there?"

"It's really nice. Colder than in Seattle. I saw this awesome sports shop being built down on 3rd. They have this really cool 3-D snowboarder hanging from the roof. As soon as I saw it, I thought of you, how you'd like it. The name of the place is 'Skid-Row'. Had a nice ring to it."

"...That's great, Alice."

I bit my lip, my stomach doing nervous flip-flops. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine."

"_Be _fine, which means... you _aren't _fine now," I replied. It wasn't a question.

He cleared his throat. "I'm a big boy. No worries over here."

I frowned, trying to figure out how to change the subject, cheer him up. "Em, you really need to change that stupid ringtone thing. Although I can appreciate a good beat... it makes you sound gay."

"How's that?"

"Because, the lyrics, sung by a man, say, "_'Put your left foot out, keep it all in place... Work your way right into my face. First you try to bed me you make my backbone slide, but when you found you bled me, skip on by... keep on, stroke me, stroke me...' _Come on. He's asking the man to bend him over."

"Maybe I secretly play my cards that way?" he quipped.

"Never," I giggled. "I know a gay man when I see him. You ain't it. Plus, you get laid far too much."

I practically heard him roll his eyes through the phone. "I haven't been laid in weeks, Alice."

"So... are you wanting to turn gay? Is that what you're telling me?"

He sighed heavily. "No, Alice. Sucking dick doesn't appear to be anything appetizing to me. Thanks for asking though."

"I just want you to cheer up. Usually you'd be copping attitude right back at me. How many times have you teased me about being a dyke?"

"If you were, things would be a hell of a lot easier on me," he mumbled.

My chest tightened. I pretended not to hear him.

"...You still there?"

"Yeah... What did you say?"

"Nothin'. Look, I gotta get going. It's getting later, and I have to run to my dad's and grab the keys, then Colleen's bring Alyssa to the club so I can see her."

"Okay," I frowned, feeling quite sad. I didn't want to stop talking yet. "Will you call me later?"

"Yeah, maybe. If not tonight then I'll try tomorrow. Have fun over there, and be safe."

"I will. Love you, bear."

He sighed. "Love you, cat."

After I got off the phone with him, I checked my planner to see what I had to do tomorrow. Shop for a few things for the condo, go see the new building, contact clients, fill out sheets, fitting set-ups, order mannequins, meet my new therapist.... My schedule was going to be slammed for a good while. I liked that. I was going to be busy.

I walked out to my balcony and took a long look outside. The city was gorgeous at dusk. The sounds seemed to filter out, way up here.

All that was left was beauty.

Though my heart hurt because I missed my friends and wondered what could have been if I stayed, I smiled to myself.

And in the city best known for its pollution, smog, and germs, I took my first real actual breath.

_I made it on my own._

* * *

**EmmettPOV**

After enduring a long-winded speech given by my father about how I needed to grow up, how he wasn't going to be around much longer and all the clubs were getting passed down to me and how he might be regretting that decision so I needed to prove myself to him, I drove down to _Rainn_, and let myself into the empty, hollow club.

Everyone knew I could handle this shit. I ran these clubs with my eyes closed. The problem with my father was that he knew I was better than him. And he was dying. And since he was dying, he had to let it all go, had to realize all of his hard work away from me growing up would... still be handed to me. And it would be taken care of without him.

No one in my family knew about Alyssa. No one knew anything about me that didn't involve these stupid investments.

I flipped on a few sets of lights and made my way up the steps, into the office, and dropped down in a chair.

Eight o'clock at night. No friends around. I tried calling Edward, but he didn't pick up. Alice wasn't going to be at my house when I got there.

I was miserable.

I rubbed my face and sighed, trying to figure out how my life got so out of hand. I was a carefree person. I tried to avoid drama.

Why was I the one that was alone?

I twirled a Sharpie pen through my fingers, trying to ignore the ache in my heart. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this depressed. Sure, breaking up with Rosalie and Heather sucked. At Phil's funeral, it was hard to see my friends in pain. But this was something else.

I'd never felt this before, and I didn't like it. It was as if I'd been shot in the chest, as if I'd been torn apart from the inside out.

Was it that my friends were in different places than I was, that I was left behind? That really wasn't their fault. They were just living their lives. I couldn't blame them for that, and I needed to stop thinking that way. I loved my friends. I'd proven time and time again that I would be there for them in a heartbeat, no matter the circumstance.

But that didn't stop me from missing them when their lives became constantly more important. Regardless of how selfish that sounded.

I just wanted someone, just something solid that _I _could hold onto, when _my _life got hectic. Because this pain in my body sucked. And no one was here to pull me out of the flood.

I sighed and threw the pen on the desk.

_...I missed Alice. _

That was the big one. Regardless of Edward's new adjustments, I knew that it wouldn't be hard to get to him if I wanted to see him, or vice-versa. But she was all the way across the country. And she needed time to herself.

But I still missed her. I knew this heartbreak was over her.

I had a feeling that letting her go would be hard. I wasn't aware that it'd destroy me.

For the first time in years, I felt a sullen tear fall straight from my eye, down to my hand. I looked at it, the liquid bubble next to my thumb, and exhaled through the hurt. _See dad?_ I thought to myself. _I am capable of feeling something real_.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I'd thrown myself into paperwork and receipts, pressing piles and crunching numbers, trying to distract myself from feeling anything. I didn't hear anyone come in.

"Hello?" My head popped up and my heart kickstarted, until I realized it was now nine, and Colleen was there with Alyssa. "Up here," I called out from the door. "Come on up."

I listened to the clicking noise of heels on the metal steps as they made their way up to the office. The smell of orange sherbert and vanilla caught my nose, and then I turned to find Colleen and Alyssa, breathless, walking into the office. Colleen in skinny, light faded blue jeans and a frilly blue sleeveless shirt and red heels, and Alyssa wearing a brown, _'Sassy Girls Rock' _hoodie with a pink heart thermal beneath it, dark brown corduroys, and flats with pink hearts on them.

"Wow," Colleen exhaled. "Hard getting up all those steps!"

"Yeah, three and a half stories gives you exercise when they wind around like that," I smirked as she took a seat across the desk from me and pulled Alyssa into her lap.

"I'd hate to fall down them."

I threw the paperwork to the side and leaned in my chair, smiling at her. "I've done it, once. Wasn't fun."

She giggled, brushing her fingers through Alyssa's long hair. "How'd that happen?"

"Edward and I were high about a year and a half ago. Thought it'd be great to chase after some tail. My father hired a bunch of girls for the sky swings, and they were hot. We were trying to be suave, and I missed a step. It wasn't fun."

She shook her head, "Serves you right."

I shrugged and turned my attention. "Hi Alyssa."

"Can you say 'hi'?" Alyssa smiled slightly then shied away, into her mom's shirt, rubbing her eyes. "She's sort of cranky today. She didn't get the toy she wanted. Threw a tantrum."

"What was the toy?"

"A Barbie pool thing... She loves Barbies."

"Barbies have pools? Like real ones?"

"Yeah, and you push this button and it squirts water in the air, like a waterfall. But someone didn't eat all her dinner, and she knew the rules. No dinner, no Barbie pool."

I frowned at Alyssa in sympathy. "Gotta start eating, Alyssa."

She hid her face completely.

"Okay," Colleen giggled. "So... are you sure you want to take her all night, considering the sassyness?"

"I'm sure."

"Well, this bag has all her overnight things she'll need. She gets scared sometimes, so there's two nightlights packed. Snacks, vitamins, toothbrush, hairbrush, bubble bath, Johnson's shampoo, you name it-"

"Colleen," I smiled. "I got it."

"Are you sick?"

"Huh?"

"Your voice... it's hoarse."

"No," I shook my head quickly and stood up. "No, I'm fine. Alice left for New York and I dealt with my dad. I'm just a little tired."

"Are you certa-"

"I'm positive," I reassured her. "I got your number. I can call you if anything happens."

"Okay. I'm not doing much tonight, so it'll be easy for you to reach me."

"Cool."

Colleen stood up and put Alyssa on her feet, before kissing her head. "Are you going to be good tonight? Hmm?"

Alyssa shrugged. I laughed.

Colleen sighed. "Okay... I'm gonna go then. Like I said, she ate a little but she might be hungry in an hour. Bedtime's usually by ten, but it's up to you. And if you're both still alive tomorrow, then I will see you around one?"

"Yep."

Colleen kissed her daughter a few times then gave me a hug. "You'll do great," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow. Bye, baby."

Alyssa waved with one hand she pulled away from her face, then covered it right back up and sat in the chair. I put my hands in my pockets, and listened as Colleen exited the building. Alyssa peeked through her fingers. I smiled. "There you are." She covered her face again quickly, making me laugh out loud. Kid had humor.

"I'm wrapping up here, and then what do you say we sneak off to Sonic and get a juicy, greasy, unhealthy hamburger and a milkshake?" She nodded fast, not moving her hands. I saw her smiling behind them though. "Okay... Feel free to look around the room. Tear it up if you want."

After a few minutes of stillness, she dropped her hands and looked around the glass walls and ceiling. "Do can see frew the walls."

"Mmhmm," I said, putting stuff away in the safe. "Pretty cool huh?"

"Tould get hurt."

I looked at her, dumbfounded. What kind of kid worried about getting hurt? "Nah, the glass is thick. It would take a lot of strength to go through it."

"But su did fall down da steps."

"Oh, you heard that huh?"

"Yep."

I held out my hand for her, which she took tentatively. "Can I pick you up?" I asked. "It's much harder walking down the steps then coming up." She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. She weighed next to nothing. We made our way out of the club and out to my car. "I like dis," she said as I stuck her inside my Mustang.

"I like it too."

"Gween is my favwite color."

"I think it's my buddy Edward's too."

Alyssa blushed as I buckled her in. Then she whispered, "I wike him."

I laughed and then sighed. "Get in the back of the line, sugar."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

After we got our food, we made our way to my empty house. My insides hurt as I realized just how empty it was going to be. But I tried not to think about it.

I was an adult, for Christ's sake. I needed to stop pitying myself.

It took about half an hour before Alyssa warmed up to being in my house without her mom. But once I suggested building a tent, she loosened immensely. We pulled mountains of sheets from the closet, draped them over chairs, tables, couches, end tables, lamps... anything we could. Then I designed a cool arch up to the tv, and held the sheets on top of it by the cabinet doors.

Our private theater.

We layed down on the floor and watched her favorite movie, _Bambi_, slurping on our milkshakes. We didn't talk too much, but that was okay. I wanted her to be comfortable and knew she'd speak when she was ready.

After _Bambi _was _The Lion King_, and then _Sleeping Beauty_. Alyssa didn't make it ten minutes into that one before she turned into a sleeping beauty herself. I pulled us from the covers and took her into the spare bedroom across from the one Alice used to occupy. She didn't wake up when I pulled her shoes off. I plugged in both her nightlights, one by her bed and one in the bathroom attached to her room.

Then I made my way into my room, took a quick hot shower, and crashed.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

I thought I was dreaming at first when I heard sniffling. But when it didn't go away, I popped up off the pillows with a gasp and blinked around the room. There Alyssa stood, stiff as a board, holding a blanket her mom packed for her and a teddy bear. "Hey," I whispered dryly, flicking on the light. "Are you okay?"

She shook her head, and her eyes welled up with tears. "Scared," she whispered

I took a deep breath and caught a glance at the clock. It was after four in the morning. There was no way I could call Colleen now.

"What were you scared of?"

She shrugged, wiping her eyes in the corner of the blanket. Every once in a while, she mumbled "mommy".

I pondered for a moment. I didn't want to cop-out and prove that I couldn't take care of her. I could. I would.

"Would you... want to sleep in here, with me? I have a pretty big bed..."

She looked around the room then walked closer to my bed. I pulled her up over the covers and moved back to give her plenty of room, and make plenty of room between us. I still didn't know the laws when it came to closeness of kids. I figured it was okay for kids to sleep in their parents rooms... But I wasn't for sure. So I pussied out and called Edward. And he laughed at me.

"Of course, dumbass," he said, still half asleep. "It's no big deal. Let her snuggle up to you. You're a big guy. She'll feel safe."

"Alright," I sighed. "I just wanted to make sure."

"You're doing fine," he yawned. "Stop overthinking shit. Call me if you need me. I'll put my phone on vibr-" His voice cut off for a second, "Hmm? Nothing baby, just Emmett. Go back to sleep... Hey, Em. Really. Breathe. Be her dad."

We hung up and I looked down at Alyssa, who lay on her side and blinked up at me. I lay down tentatively beside her and looked over at her. "It's okay," I reassured her. "I'm right here, okay? You're safe. Nothing's gonna get you."

She nodded.

"Do you like your bear? Does he protect you?"

She nodded again.

"You know, my best friend Alice, her nickname for me was _'Emmybear'_. Because my first name is Emmett. So... in a way... I'm a bear too. I can help _your _bear protect you, if you want? Two bears can be better than one..."

She stared at me for a moment, eyes wide. And, then they slowly relaxed, and her breathing calmed, and her eyes closed.

Alyssa fell right back asleep with a little smile on her face. One that was eerily similar to a smile I often showed. She really was a mini-me.

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Alyssa and I woke up late. I helped give her a bath, which turned out to be a lot of fun once I relaxed and Bella told me over the phone what I was supposed to do.

We played with her toys together, me putting on my best 'Ken' voice. She laughed a lot in the tub, and I noticed how easy-going she was around me today.

She instructed me herself on how to brush her hair. I tried really hard. It was difficult figuring out that you have to start at the top and work your way down, or it will get tangled. After a few screams and whimpers, and once scolding from her, I figured out not to brush the bottom again. I didn't like it when she yelled at me. She had a mouth on her like her mother.

After that, she watched cartoons while I did the dishes, and then, after another call from Bella, I began making blueberry waffles.

I only burned seven before one came out right. I called the morning a success.

After that, we ate at the kitchen table, and she fed a few pieces to her bear, before calling me "Emmett".

I quickly corrected her, asking her if she was alright with not calling me by my first name... unless she absolutely wanted to.

"But what do I call you den?" A fair question, but what did I tell her.

"What about daddy... if you're comfortable with it, that is?"

"Meh," she shrugged. "Boring."

"Just Dad?"

She shook her head. She started picking at her food, every once in a while, scrunching her forehead, like she was thinking very hard about something. She dropped the conversation completely, though..

It wasn't until after we straightened up her toys, got her stuff together, and Colleen was at my front door that she told me, in her own way, what she was thinking so hard about.

All she did was squeal, run over and kiss me on my cheek -- which shocked the hell out of me and her mother -- and whispered, "Bye Poppabear."

I couldn't even say goodbye, I was a frozen solid.

After they rushed out of the house, I blinked and chuckled to myself.

That little girl just won me over. Completely.

She was my new home. And I would be hers.

**

* * *

**

**Two Weeks Later**

**

* * *

**

**BellaPOV**

I watched Ryan pass by my office before he popped off of the mouth.

"Oh my fucking God! Someone! Quick! Call the fire department! Hot meat, hot meat! It's Bella Swan! Coming to save us all from a boring day at work! She reigns, she reigns!"

Of course, he had everyone's attention on the floor, who were all now watching us through the windows of my office.

_Well, everyone knew I was back now. Cue blush._

He ran through the joining door of our offices, clapping his hands way too loudly. "Welcome back."

"It's _Cullen_," I corrected him. "And thanks."

He gave me a quick hug and sat in front of me on my desk, on top of my paperwork. "How ya been? All healed up down there?"

I glared at him. "I'm good."

"Are you sure? Need me to check things out for ya?"

I continued to stare, unphased. "You're still an ass, I see."

"You love me."

I changed the subject. "How's everything going around here?"

He sighed, rolling his head around for dramatic effect. "Boring. Bland. Abashed. But... getting warmer, now that I got my fucking _partner _back."

I grinned at him. "It feels good to be back."

"How's the great and wonderful doctor handling his wife being here with her entire body at work, instead of being at home with just her nipple doing it all?"

I rolled my eyes and leaned back in my chair. "Ryan. Every time I think you're sort of sweet, you just... fall right back off the cliff."

He snapped his brilliant white teeth together and grinned wide. "I have fucking weeks of make-up time to get through. I've missed the hell out of you. Working with Colleen is draining."

"What are you talking about? Colleen's great."

He gawked at me. "She didn't even know how to use the fax machine a week ago, Bella. She's worked here way too long to be that fucking dumb."

"Piss off, Ryan. You're full of shit. And don't forget, you had to teach me how to use that damn thing once upon a time." He grinned devilishly and I bit my tongue. Shit. I knew where this conversation was heading. I just enriched his memory with _Ryan and Bella _moments, pre--Edward VS 2.0. Back when we used to mess around. _Damn it Bella._

"We... did have some fun... tuning up and turning on that dear old fax machine, hmmm? Wanna show me that tattoo of yours again?"

"I'm a _happily _married woman now, Ryan. Go find someone else to annoy."

"I only enjoy annoying you."

"And I'm growing immune to your antics."

Ryan leaned closer, his bright crystal blue eyes sparkling. "No you're not. I think you secretly enjoy it. In fact... wanna go have some sex in that mail office again?"

I took a deep breath before walking around and closing my door, before I turned back and glared at him. My hands fell to my hips. "Look Ryan. I like you and you know that. You're great to work with, and you're funny, and smart. But you cannot keep this sexual innuendo going. I know you're a natural flirt and yeah, maybe sometimes I am too. But things have changed. Don't keep pushing the innuendo with me. I won't put up with it. And, the last thing that you want to do is piss off my husband, trust me. And talking about you and I having sex in the mail room -- which we did _not _have sex in, by the way-"

"Close enough," he shrugged. "We were right there, you know just how far we went that night, and I do believe it was you who was begging me to enter you. _'Mmmmm.... yes, Ryan... please... do it, want you'-"_

"Which we did _not_," I sneered, continuing my statement. "Now. You can behave yourself and gain a little more perspective, drop the perversion, _or_... we should find different partners."

He studied my eyes, tilting his head slowly.

I didn't move, staring straight into his eyes

He straightened up. "Fine. I'll... gain some perspective, and cut back on the perversion and flirting. But I can't do it a hundred percent. And I know you don't want to work with Jay Marshall, who you'd be stuck with if you drop me. You know how he is about spitting when he talks and picking his nose when he eats Subway sandwiches. Take that or leave it."

I crossed my arms.

He crossed his.

"Fine."

"Fine."

I sighed and walked back around, dropping back into my chair.

Ryan took the next two hours getting back to business. He focused on reports, giving me break-downs, showing me slideshows on the computer of our progress and delay. He showed me the new accounts, backdrops, plans, advertising slogans, money we were getting on loan for the accounts.

This was why it was awesome working with Ryan, much better than anyone else. When he focused, he focused well, and was on top of the game. He was better than everyone else, and for good reason. He was intelligent as hell and slick as ice. He had the perfect package for advertising.

The narcissism was just an annoying bonus.

"And," he yawned, throwing a baseball in the air and catching it, "that about does it."

He sat across from my desk now, his feet propped up on the corner of it.

"Wow," I exhaled, dropping my pen on the folder. "Did I really miss _that _much?"

"I told you that babies change everything."

"Yeah... But that's okay. It's my life. I love my son."

"Yep."

"You should try having kids, Ryan. Might calm you down a little, kind of like when a dog gets neutered?"

He scoffed. "Please. I'm sure Edward will still flirt when he's at work. Men will never calm down. Which is why our balls stay put until the day we die. Besides, the only pet I've had is a gerbil, and it lasted two days, before it fell in my toilet. I didn't know until hours later. It was dead..." He pondered for a moment, tapping the pen cap to his chin, "...I wonder if he would have made it out alive, if I actually flushed that day."

"Ugh," I squirmed, shaking my head, "you're so sick."

He grinned and stood up, leaning over my desk. "Welcome back, _Mrs. Cullen_."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

Being in meetings for _Mozilla _was hard. After Ryan told Edward and I at the house that we may be getting this account, I had dreams about it, I was so excited.

But I never imagined how much hard work it would be.

I stared at the mountain of paperwork in front of me, which also spread out evenly in front of Ryan beside me, all the way around the circular table at which sat the team who would now be working under us. There were so many documents, contracts, guidelines, and floor plans to go through, laws to abide by, meetings and press conferences and detours coming that I felt my insides twist when I realized how much responsibility, time, dedication, and sacrifice it would be, taking on this monster of an account. _Overwhelming _became the understatement of the century.

Ryan's eraser nudged the side of my leg, and I snapped my head to the left to find his eyes questioning me.

We were in the middle of a lecture. Mr. Collberry was hard at work, showing us the latest slideshow up on the wall.

So I mouthed, "I'm okay" to him, which he accepted with caution. I knew he didn't believe me. Hell, I didn't believe myself.

By the time the meeting wrapped up, I had less than an hour inside the building to get some sketches together, ideas mapped out, and taglines prepared to present to my team of twenty tomorrow. I was on deadline. And I had no idea where to start.

Ryan walked beside me down the hallway, and I felt my breath grow labored. I was going to start panicking. I felt it coming quickly.

I grabbed hold of Ryan's wrist and halted, leaning against the wall closest to me.

"Whoa." He caught my hips to stop me from swaying. "Bella? You all right?"

I shook my head, stirring the air in front of my hot face with my hand. "I don't know if I can handle this account, Ryan. It's too much right now."

"What do you mean?" he said, stepping closer. He pulled his water bottle from his briefcase and handed it to me, which I chugged gratefully.

"I don't know," I exhaled when I finished it. "I just... Time away from Edward... from Masen... Edward's a medical intern. His schedule's over-demanding as it is, and he can't afford to miss any days until he's completed the shadow program with Dr. Sherber. I just don-"

"Bella, do you love your job?"

"Yes."

"And did you miss it most days you were gone on maternity leave, before you had your son?"

I frowned, and nodded. "Yes."

"And every day you thought about it, dream-"

"Yes, Ryan," I sighed.

"Then don't you dare think about walking away. Remember how you told me about how pissed you were when he asked you to cut back your hours? How you said you'd gone to college for too long, how you always dreamed about this position and were upset with him when he asked you to practically give that up?"

I nodded.

"Like you said, it's your life. Masen is a part of your life, Edward is too. But this career, this dream of yours... You _cannot _give it up. I'm not just saying this so you'll stick around and work with me. I'm saying it because it's true. You'll regret it every day if you give this up. You'll never get it back. You're at the top of your game right now, Bella. It's just going to take some time getting back into the swing of things. But I know you can do it. I know you can. I wouldn't work with anyone who couldn't pull their own weight around here. You know you want this. You just have to adjust."

This was why I liked Ryan. He was way more than the asshole he could be at times. He was a true friend to me.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I want this. I only worry that I'm going to lose time away from Masen."

"You can do it," he reassured me, holding my shoulders. "You can, Bella. You know your strength."

I thought back through the past nine months of my life. The whirlwind I'd been through, the changes I'd made and things I had accomplished. Right now, in my life, everything I ever wanted was in my hands. Every single thing. Great husband. Great son. Great house. Great friends. Great career.

Why in the hell was I complaining again?

I nodded and pushed off the wall, giving him a triumphant smile. "I can do this."

He grinned and threw his arm over my shoulders, and walked me back toward my office, "There's the determined tiger we all know and love. Now come on, let's get this shit done so I can fill you in on the date I had last night."

* * *

**EdwardPOV**

I massaged the back of my neck and took a deep breath, staring at the computer before me. I missed my son. I missed my wife. Work sucked today and I did not want to be here. I just wished this idiotic punishment would go away. I understood that I did something (or a few things) wrong, but how many times do you have to stick me with the "I told you so" speech.

Someone sat down beside me and held out a Hershey's bar. "Eat up, buttercup."

I rolled my eyes and glared over at Anna, who was way to perky in the mornings, and all afternoon. "That shit hurts your teeth."

"It's really good though..." she stated, waving the bar around my face. "Chocolate makes you happy."

"Says who?"

"Says me. Eat up, Doctor Cullen. Nurse's orders."

Exhaling my annoyance, I opened the stupid package and snapped off a piece, shoving it in my mouth. "Mmm," I stated sarcastically, chewing animatedly. "This is _wonderful_."

"Told ya," she grinned, ignoring my sarcasm, breaking off her own piece. "It'll cheer you up in no time."

"I don't want to be cheered up," I replied after I swallowed, CTRL+Tabbing over to the field screen so I could enter some more data. "I want to go home. Bella should be getting off work soon."

"Look, Doctor C, I realize that this is your wife's first day back on the job and you're forced to leave your son with your mother for a few hours between yours and her shifts. I get it. But your mother isn't going to throw the baby off the balcony. The baby is way too young to crawl around and fall into a pool, or a lake, or a pond. The dogs are not going to eat the baby…."

"You don't know Spendor's history with things left on the floor," I mumbled under my breath, smirking a little in spite of myself.

"…so... you need to stop worrying," she continued, again ignoring my quip. "Your mother raised you alright, didn't she?"

"But, I…" I tried to answer.

"Yes, she did. So give her the benefit of the doubt and stop being so damned anal."

"Anal is what I do best."

She paused and looked over at me, holding a piece of chocolate in front of her open mouth. I replayed my words in my head and my smirk became full blown laughter.

"You know I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure you didn't," Anna rolled her eyes and grinned knowingly at me. Then she slapped some paperwork down. "For you, my darling sir."

I reached over her and grabbed another piece of chocolate, earning a smug grin. "Thanks."

Hours after we settled into a quiet routine of filing work, stamping paid-off's, and answering the non-stop, annoying phone, Bree, Aimee, and a few other nurses sat down behind us to do their own work. I twirled in my seat, needing a break, and handed Aimee the stack of reports I'd just finished entering, "For you. Second drawer, third cabinet please."

She smiled and popped off her chair, sticking them in for me. "Wanna take a smoke break?" she mouthed, so all the other nurses wouldn't see. I nodded and she left without a word. Three minutes later, we found ourselves across from each other at the picnic table in the smoke shack, me pulling in the nicotine as deep as I possibly could.

"How are you?" she asked, noticing my antsy movements.

"Good," I exhaled the smoke away from her face. "I'll be better when I can go home."

"You know, I'm off the clock now," she stated. "And you're only covering nursing duties. I can take over your shift for you, if you want to leave and see Bella and Masen."

"I appreciate the offer, but it won't look good if I leave early. I never really leave or call in."

"I know, but maybe you should? You've done most of your work anyway. I really don't mind the extra hours, now that I have a whole house payment to make myself."

"How's it going by the way?"

"Really well," she beamed. "I get to decorate it how I want -- with what little money I have left over from each check -- and I get to cook what I want and watch what I want and go to bed when I want. I don't have to answer to anyone or ask for anyone's say in anything. It's nice to really be on my own."

"You needed that, I think. You needed the liberties of freedom."

She looked down and smiled to herself. "I really owe you and Bella, a lot. If you ever need a babysitter or anything-"

I laughed, "Thank you, we appreciate it. We were simply helping out a friend. No need to get all girly emotional on me."

She snapped her head up and gawked at me. "Ugh! I _hate _it when you say that to me."

"Well then stop being girly emotional and I won't have to s-" My voice was cut off by a set of knuckles to my shoulder.

"I don't know why Bella married you." She rolled her eyes, trying to stab me with her words to get even. "She must have been drugged at the proposal and the wedding. You are not right."

"So a minute ago you were thanking me for being so generous and now you're insulting me?"

"Yes."

"There you are, doing it again. Girly emotional. My perfect example." She punched me harder this time and I laughed out loud. "With rage blackouts, apparently."

"I hate you sometimes."

"Most people do."

***&*#!#$^%$^**

"Doctor Cullen. Please come into my office."

Scotty, Jonsen, and Andrew whistled and blew kissing noises in my direction. I threw a stack of folders at them, before walking around and entering Doctor Sherber's office.

She unbuttoned her white jacket and sat it neatly on her chair before taking a seat. "Sit, Doctor Cullen."

I sat.

Aubrey folded her hands on her desk, and studied me for a moment.

I smiled wearily at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Let me ask you a question, Doctor Cullen."

"Okay."

"Do you find me... dumb?"

"No," I answered quickly.

"Blind?"

"Unfortunately not," I chuckled. "Or people would be trying to get away with murder around here."

"Unable to do my job?"

"Uhhh... no? May I ask why you're asking-"

"No you may not. You're job is to sit there and answer questions."

I shifted in my seat, suddenly uncomfortable. "Alright."

"You and Jonsen started the same day. Is that correct?"

"Yes."

"And you two talk a lot. You're pretty close, yes?"

"We're close enough for a work atmosphere. We don't really socialize outside of work as much as we used to when we first started working here..."

She nodded slowly, pursing her lips. "What about Bree?"

"Bree started nursing here a year after us. I don't talk with her at all outside of work."

"Have you witnessed them working together?"

"Occasionally, when she shadows him and he's not under supervision of his own."

"Mmhmm," she sighed. "How do you like working as a _nurse_, Doctor Cullen? Filing paperwork, sorting exams, dealing with stubborn computers, answering phones all day?"

I furrowed my brows at the erratic movement in this conversation, "Uhhh... I hate it?"

She smiled at my honesty. "So I'm assuming you'd like nothing more than to be back here, doing your normal shifts, handling patient cases again and progressing in your career?"

"More than anything."

"Well, I spoke with your professors, and all your paperwork, tests, everything you're doing with Skype classes are coming through with ninety-eight percent average..." Aubrey paused, inhaling slowly. "Do you feel you are ready for the responsibility and dedication that resuming your previous duties would entail?"

"I do."

She studied me. "Are you sure about that?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Even with a new baby and your wife back at work?"

"Yes."

She nodded. "You are aware you'll be assigned two permanent nurse supervisees whom you will handpick yourself and be responsible for, when you resume your regular position?"

I sat a bit straighter in my chair. "I was not aware of that duty. I do not recall you bringing that up with me before my suspension. But... I'm aware now."

"Another chain of command," she shrugged. "I'm beneath someone who's under someone else. You're beneath me, they're beneath you, and volunteers are beneath them. How can you be a doctor if you cannot earn respect from the nurses that will be working under you in an emergency situation, or any situation at all?"

"I _can _be that doctor," I replied, probably a bit too sternly. But I was ready. Every bone in my body wanted to be back on that floor, not behind a desk. It had been months now. "I will be."

Aubrey nodded, not even bothering to smile. "Do you know who you are going to pick for your team?"

"Do you have any recommendations?"

"Are you asking me to do your job for you, Doctor Cullen?"

"No," I answered quickly, hating the mind games. "No, I am merely asking the advice of my mentor who has greater experience working with the nurses in question. I think it important to evaluate someone's opinion other than my own to get the full picture." Well, I hated the mind games I couldn't play.

She crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. "It will be your job to choose your team. If you can monitor all of the nurses today -- there's twenty on the floor -- and come back with two files for me, and if all your paperwork is done efficiently and there are no complains turned in about you, then tonight before you leave, you will resume your regular position in my hospital. You will be on a thirty-day watch though. No screw ups. Do you understand?"

I fought back the grin and the urge to launch myself out of the chair. "I appreciate it, Doctor Sherber. I will do my best. You won't be disappointed."

"There's just one more thing you will be doing tonight, Doctor Cullen."

"Anything."

"Jonsen and Bree are permanently dismissed from this hospital. It will be your job to inform them and escort them out."

My eyes widened and my stomach twisted erratically. "Um... May I ask why?"

"Rumors have been flying for weeks about the two of them being involved sexually, specifically instances here at the hospital. They've constantly denied it. Today I noticed they were both missing, and after going on a wild goose chase, I had someone come to me in confidence and tell me that they witnessed them... together... So," she exhaled, shaking her head in disappointment. "I reviewed tapes. They're caught."

I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, wanting to throw up. I couldn't have been more thankful that Aimee and I were careful when our affair was happening. "Wow," I exhaled raggedly. "That is... sad and unexpected. I hadn't paid attention to too many of the rumors flying around here."

"And you shouldn't, nor should anyone else but me. Look, rumors are rumors. I've heard ones about you and Aimee, Scotty and Aimee, Scotty and Anna, you and Anna, me and Scotty, Andrew and Bree, the list goes on and on. We're work very closely and under a lot of stress and friendships are expected to be born along with the babies. It's when things become more than friendship and there is solid evidence to go with it that... we have a problem. When I questioned both Jonsen and Bree about this, they both flat-out denied it. And lying and sneaking behind my back is _not _something I'm willing to tolerate."

"I understand completely, Doctor Sherber."

"So handle your business. Bring me two files. Then you'll have to do the jobs that I ask you to do."

I stood up, shoving my hands in my pockets. "Doctor Sherber... May I ask why you're waiting for me to dismiss them _later_? Why are you keeping them on the clock?"

Aubrey sighed in defeat. "Bree has a one-year old at home that she's raising alone. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, since this will be her last paycheck."

"And Jonsen?"

She shrugged, "He's your friend, and _you're _here to do the job you're designed for. I want to make sure you can handle _all _aspects of this job. Sometimes, it involves unpleasant situations with people we like."

I understood immediately and thanked her before walking out. As much as this sucked, as much as the realization of _'this could have been me at one point' _swarmed over my head, it _wasn't _me. I had a job to do. He would have done the same thing if he were in my position back then.

The day dragged on, but I made sure everything I turned in was A+ effort. I felt energized now. Hopeful again.

It saddened me whenever I worked with Bree, knowing she had no idea what was coming. I thought a few times about telling her early, preparing her. But then she may walk out early, and I could get into more trouble. So I didn't do anything until I was told.

After my nurses were picked and everything was finished, I rejoined Aubrey in her office. After she reviewed all of my paperwork and reports, she took a long look at the files I handed her, thinking to herself. I stood there patiently and waited.

"Okay," she smiled, standing up and shaking my hand. "Welcome back, Doctor Cullen."

"Feels good to be back."

"Take tomorrow off, my treat. Return rested, and ready to see patients. I'll be supervising you, and they'll be shadowing. Be prepared. Study up if you have to."

"Certainly."

She grinned at me. "Go, do what you're supposed to do. Don't forget to inform your picks of their pay raise and new duties."

Escorting Jonsen and Bree out of the office was painful. I apologized immensely for having to do it. Bree cried. Jonsen was silent, but I saw the smoke coming from his ears, the white around his knuckles in the elevator. Bree gave me a tearful hug before she stalked off to her car in tears. I frowned at Jonsen, who unleashed a little on me on the 'could have been you' situation. I reminded him that it wasn't me, and kept my opinions about how he should have been more careful to himself. He told me to go fuck myself before he stormed to his car, punching a trash can on his way.

Anna and Aimee squealed and practically attacked me with a bearhug. I picked them for multiple reasons. I was the closest to them. I knew they both had the drive, willpower, and ability to do the job. I knew they wouldn't let me down. And I knew that, without a doubt, they'd pick me. We worked well together and I knew I could rely on them.

*

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* * *

_*** * * Four Months Later * * ***_

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"Thank you for coming," Edward said, greeting our therapist, Alicia Parker. I adjusted Masen in my arms behind him. "Welcome to our home, finally."

"It is gorgeous," Alicia replied as Edward took her jacket and led her down the steps to our living room, where Masen's playpen and toys were scattered. "Very beautiful."

"Thank you," I replied as they both took a seat and I handed our squirming son to his father. "Would you care for something to drink?"

"That'd be wonderful. Whatever you're having is fine."

"Brewed iced tea?"

"Perfect," she smiled. I squeezed Edward's shoulders and skipped in to the kitchen, filling up three cups and a bottle. Masen definitely showed his appreciation by bouncing on his father's lap as I handed it to Edward. Edward smirked and adjusted Masen so I could sit beside him while he gave him the bottle. Masen's hands fell to Edward's, and, once he was certain of Masen's hold, Edward's hands let go, letting him hold the bottle himself.

After we got comfortable, we began our session. It made me sad, in a weird way, that this was the final one. We'd grown close with Alicia, spending so much time together at her office. She was a wonderful therapist, mainly because she didn't act like one. It was easy to talk with her.

"Okay," Alicia smiled, "Today, I just want to do a short, quick review. See what we've learned with our time spent together. Edward, to start, why don't you tell me something simple about Bella, that not a lot of people know."

Edward smirked, "She talks in her sleep. A lot. It's very interesting to listen to her."

I nudged him playfully and he wrapped his free arm around me, pulling me into his side. I was thankful that he didn't go into details about what I dreamt last night. He told me this morning while we were getting ready for work. Apparently, I was begging him to have sex with me. Good thing he woke me up, or I would have missed out on the waking version of that dream, which was so much better.

"And Bella?"

I snapped out of my daydream, blushing slightly. "Edward has a major OCD about cleanliness. Not just around the house or his car, but with his own body. Between showers, hand-washing, brushing his teeth... it's exhausting just watching how much he does it."

"I've always been like that though, you know that."

"I know, but she said something a lot of _other _people don't know."

Alicia grinned. "Edward, what in your opinion is Bella's best physical and emotional trait?"

"Oh God," Edward chuckled, scratching his head and adjusting Masen on his lap. "It's hard to choose. Physically, her... well, this week, I've been quite the ass man, constantly staring at hers and wanting to touch it and rub it, so I'm going to say that." He threw that crooked grin at me and the devil was in his eyes.

"And emotionally, she's very nurturing, very sweet. Always taking care of things. She's wonderful with Masen, and with me. Like... if I have a headache, she'll be right there, babying me. She doesn't forget that I'm here and it's not all about Masen. She has found an amazing balance of things." There was pride in his voice, and I smiled.

"And Bella?"

"Edward's is... his smile, definitely. There's so many things that smile can do for me. Like I come home from work and I'm tired and exhausted and want to go to bed. But then he greets me at the door with my favorite smile, and it makes my entire day. And emotionally, Edward... probably the way he puts us first. It's the little things that mean the most. Like the fact that he brings me flowers every Sunday, different colors and types of flowers. Or he'll run a hot bubble bath for me when he can sense I need to relax. He always volunteers to help with Masen, changing his diapers, feeding him, caring for him. He's very involved with him every day, and that makes me love him more."

Edward leaned in and kissed the side of my hair.

"Edward, what's the best thing about being a parent?"

"Seeing Ducky grow daily. Every day, it's something new... a new expression... a new smile," Edward smiled at our son, who stared back up at him with wide green eyes. "He's a very calm baby... I imagine him growing up and being into music, he responds so easily to it. It seems to relax him and soothe him, like it did me. And, since it is a passion of mine, I really am looking forward to teaching him."

"Ducky?"

I grinned at her. "It's Edward's nickname for Masen. He says that when he was a newborn, he sounded like a duck when he cried, because he'd use so much of his voice that his throat would get raw, and it was more like a _'quack' _than a _'wah'_."

Edward grinned. "He likes it." Masen pulled away from the bottle and smiled up, kicking his feet. Edward bent down and kissed him, pretending to suck on the bottle. "Mama's milk tastes gooooodddd, hmm? Will you share with me?" Edward smacked his lips together, "Mmmmm.... Thank you, buddy."

I rolled my eyes and looked over at Alica, who was giggling. "See what I have to put up with?"

"If _this _is what you have to deal with, I'd consider myself lucky."

I smiled wider at her, "I am very lucky."

Edward's arm around me dropped behind my back, and his hand massaged my stomach. I held it there and smiled at him. Butterflies always came when he touched me there.

"Edward, what was the hardest thing about being away from Bella before the two of you got back together? Do you remember?"

He nodded.

"What was it?" Alicia pried.

"Breathing."

I snuggled closer to him, and rubbed Masen's stomach. It still pained me when I thought about our pasts. Although I tried to forget all about the last four years of my life, one of the most valuable things Alicia had taught us both was that we wouldn't be where we were today without those four years. I didn't want to remember it, but I wouldn't forget, either.

"What was it for you, Bella?"

I shrugged, not meeting her eyes. If I wasn't looking down at my son who was displaying his father's crooked smile, I would have probably cried. The pain was all too familiar. "Probably... not having anything to look forward to, feeling like there was no future. Wanting to stay in bed, not wanting to go anywhere or talk to anyone. When I did have to be somewhere, it was fake conversations, pretending to pay attention, nodding robotically, and staring at faceless walls."

Edward kissed my head. "We're not there anymore, baby."

"I know," I inhaled, pushing the negative feelings aside, "it still hurts though."

"Yes," Alicia nodded in understanding, "I know. That's the thing. There's a lot of factors that come into play in our lives. Factors with work, factors with family or friends, factors with dreams, plans, and goals for your future. But, most of all, it's factors with our personal relationships. Do you know why that's the hardest, Edward?"

Edward nodded, rubbing my stomach with his fingertips beneath my shirt. "Yes. Besides the fact that you're incomplete without that person, when your personal relationships fail, the other ones seem to fail also. That's the person you go to, when you have work problems, school problems, family problems, future problems. And if that person isn't there to vent to about those things... then your life quickly begins to have no outlet. Bella is my partner, my best friend, my confidante. Not having her there to comfort me, and not being there for her as well... there's just a lot of regret, from both sides. We go over it in our minds sometimes... We both wanted to be back together, but never spoke up..."

Alicia nodded. "Makes you wonder what could have happened if you did speak up, doesn't it?"

We both nodded in unison. Masen sneezed. Edward put the empty bottle beside his leg and lifted Masen so he could burp him while I played with his tiny fists.

"Bella, if you could have spoken up, talked to Edward, without any animosity from what happened to cause the split, what do you think you would have said to him?"

"I miss you," I replied quickly, looking up at him. "I'd say that I always loved you and I'm sorry I never said it, and... that I wasn't anything without you beside me."

Edward grinned crookedly and kissed my nose. "I would have said the same things."

"Edward, what's one thing that you experienced that was good while you were split up, that you wish she could have been there for?"

Edward rubbed his fingers around his stubbly chin. "Mmm... College graduation, perhaps? My first eighty-two hours as an intern in the hospital..."

"And Bella?"

"Getting hired at Leverage Marketing. Oh, and your birthday."

"My birthday?" Edward furrowed his brows.

I blushed, "Yeah... I was in my dorm one night and I realized it was your birthday. I was going through a hard time with finals, and I couldn't concentrate. Colleen brought me some cupcake mix before she had to leave for class. I baked them and found a candle and lit one and thought about you. I said, '_Make a wish Edward_...', and then I waited and blew it out myself..."

I laughed, covering my face. "It sounds so idiotic when I say it out loud, like you were dead or something, but I really felt your presence in the room with me that night... it comforted me."

"What birthday was this?"

"Two and a half years ago. Your twenty-first."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Edward thought for a moment, as Masen tried to crawl over to my lap. "...Wow."

"What?"

He chuckled and massaged my stomach again, "Everyone forgot about my twenty-first birthday."

"Huh? No way!"

"Yeah, yeah, they really did. Emmett took Alice and went to Amsterdam with a bunch of his friends for a whole month. They left two weeks before that, and completely overlooked my birthday. I couldn't go. I wasn't seeing anyone at that time, my parents were in New York... I didn't get a single phone call... I spent the night drinking by myself in my bedroom..." He looked over at me, an awed expression on his face, "but... you remembered... I thought everyone forgot about it that no one cared and... you made a cupcake and blew it out for me."

He leaned over Masen and me and hugged me as tight as possible. "You remembered."

I laughed at the odds of that and ran my fingers through the back of his hair. "How could I possibly have forgotten about your birthday? You sent me cards every year... Simple cards with a heart and 'Edward Cullen', the only thing signed on them, but... I kept them."

He pulled away and lifted my chin, tilting his head. His green eyes melted mine. "You did?"

"Of course I did, silly."

He chuckled and gave me a slow kiss. We kissed until we heard the leather seat across from us squeak.

Edward chuckled and looked over at Alicia, "Sorry. New information. Overload."

Alicia grinned at us. "It's completely understandable. I think that's the best part about the four-year break. All the little details that matter, you get to be filled in on. You can turn the negative into a positive, like that, for example. Even pain can be beautiful when you look at it from a different angle."

We cuddled closer.

"So," Alicia clapped her hands, "I think the biggest lesson we've learned is that being exes was the biggest factor of your life at one point. It was what every decision the both of you made revolved around... Every choice, every regret, every move..."

I shook my head, squeezing Edward's. "Alicia, I don't think that was the answer."

"No?"

"No. I don't think the biggest factor was Edward being my ex, or me being his. I think the biggest factor in our lives was knowing that the other was _irreplaceable_. There was a constant void in our lives without each other, and there will be another one when God decides to take us away. There are certain couples that work together with a lot of space between them. They divide bills and responsibilities, some even sleep in separate bedrooms. And that's okay, if that's what they want. But..."

I looked over at Edward and shivered at the calming expression in his eyes as he listened to me talk, "...Edward and I were never like that. Our relationship is different. We work better as a team... We're not suffocating each other. We give each other room to breathe and grow. But everything that's _important _in our lives, we've made the choice to experience it together. We operate better as a whole, and we were never whole without each other. We know that now."

"And, I don't care if people judge us, if they say we're too close and too dependant... because I know in my heart... it's the right decision for _us_. I wake up in the middle of the night, and find that our hands have somehow found a way to intertwine while we're dreaming. It's like... I want to take him with me everywhere, even _while _I dream. I can't go a second without thinking of him, without wanting to see him and tell him about my day. And I know he feels the same way. And now, we have Masen to share these things with as well as our future children. There's no doubt in my life that we're going to make it now, even with the rocky road that may pop up along the way. We're strong. We've seen the darkened road, the empty space in our lives when we were apart. Being apart and fragmented or being together and whole…. we'll always chose the latter of those options. Being without each other now is... strictly _not _an option."

Edward smiled. "I couldn't have said that better than myself."

Alicia nodded, glancing from Masen, to my face, to his. "That was indeed the correct answer, Bella. In fact... I think you and Edward are ready for the next factor in your life... the next step... The greatest thing about life is that it's true, and it's constantly rolling, constantly moving, changing gears. New journeys have yet to be planned, new roads are being mapped out in front of you, both together and individually... My question is... Are you ready for this? For whatever's going to come your way?"

Edward and I looked to each other as Masen held each of our hands and jiggled them around in the air, cooing happily.

I studied his eyes and quickly found my source of comfort. It made my heart skip and sputter, speed up and slow down, just _looking _at him. Being in his presence. I knew that feeling would never go away and I welcomed it eagerly with open arms. Always.

The genuine smile on his face, the one made only for me, said that he felt exactly the same.

We were connected, in every single way.

On the same page, the same road.

The same journey.

We took a deep breath, and our smiles for each other grew wider.

Then, at the exact same time, we replied knowingly, "We're ready."

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 36! **

**-- "The Ex Factor" has won more awards! Thank you to everyone who voted at **_**The Moonlight Awards**_**. The winning categories are posted in my profile!! ALSO, we're nominated for the next round at **_**The Moonlight Awards**_**, for the categories of: **_**All Human, Best OC, **_**and **_**Best Author**_**. PLEASE show your support for your favs. Link is in my profile so you can vote.  
**

**-- Here is what's to come:  
-- **There will be one more chapter, an epilogue of sorts. It will be the middle of the jump. A 2-year mark (since the sequel is a 4-year jump from this, like TEF was 4 years from the break-up). You'll have tiny little hints of what will be happening with the characters in the sequel, where they're at... Hopefully see some changes as well as some characteristics that have stuck with them. I promise you it only gets better from here. And YES, before ANYONE asks me, the sequel will have an E/B HEA. Doesn't mean it's gonna be happy 24/7, but it is a package deal, I promise. (& I _never _make promises unless I can keep them!)**  
**

**Schedule plans include:**

-- "Two Years Epilogue" should be posted in 2 weeks. October 31st is my set goal in mind (but don't hold me to it, you know how I am!). Could be posted before.  
**-- **My new, unrelated story** "**_**Ragweeds**_**" **will begin between **"The Ex Factor" **and **"True Life: The Next Factor". **Again, it is VERY, VERY different than this. It's more angsty, more struggles, more love and passion. It's about bringing E/B together in a world of negativity and loss, and making them fight to STAY together, not the other way around as this one has been. It will be premiering quickly. Be on the look-out for it, and be sure to show your support if it interests you!!  
--** "True Life: The Next Factor"** will be begin posting around middle or end of November. Not sure of the precise date, we'll see how it goes. That way your brain can adjust to the time jump. I hope you all will add me to your **Author's Alert **list if you haven't yet. New thread for the story will be on Twilighted, with all the fun goodies.

-- If you are a member of the _**TEF Twilighted Thread **_or _**Addicted To TEF Facebook Community**_, then you will have more sneak peeks coming your way. I will try to do _at least _1 thing a week, from here until _True Life_ begins. This includes character povs, new character breakdowns, pictures of Masen and whatnot, song recc's, siggy banners and arts, and much much more. Don't miss it. :D

**  
**_**

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_**Random Questions for my readers to answer at the bottom of your review:**_

_**-- **__What has been your favorite Edward/Bella moment from TEF thus far?  
-- Besides E/B, who has been your favorite character, and why?  
-- What is one thing you're looking forward to in the sequel?  
-- What is one thing that worries you, makes you nervous, about the sequel?_

**^^^ Remember guys. I have always read every single feedback left here and on the boards, so make it count.  
A few has pm'd me, telling me that they don't think reviews matter. THEY DO. It's a nice pay-off for authors for time spent.**

There's still one more thing to come with this first part of their story, so stick around!! AND REVIEW because...

**Reviews are better than joining them while they take the next step. ;-).**


	37. In Rotation

_**HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! BE SAFE!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: In Rotation  
**This is _not _an ending. Ch 36 was the official "ending" of TEF, _if _you choose not to read the sequel. This is the middle of the 4-year jump for those who _are _planning to read the sequel, so you can get an idea of what is going on now and what will happen by the time the sequel starts up. Some doors left open and some character POV's are left out for presentation purposes. ;) New characters will be introduced in TNF (no worries, focus will ALWAYS be E/B), new developments, new paths to take. I'm so excited!! Enjoy. (Baby Masen age 2 & 1/2 in profile. For you bb's.)  
ps -- you guys get some EB lovin' since I screwed the pooch this last chapter. _Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.__**  
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_  
__My last special thanks of TEF to_:  
- To **my loving readers **and **my beautiful beta Caryn**.... you guys stuck it out with me. I owe you my life. End of story.  
_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing that is Twilight or Stephenie Meyer related. But I think she's a genius for creating these two characters that I can play with! (P.S. I worked my ass off to write this fun. Don't take what isn't yours.)

* * *

_**"It's feelin' like the time's run out... But the hour glass just flipped itself over again.  
The sun is slowly sinking down, but on the other side, a new day awaits to begin.  
If you dare to believe in life, you might realise that there's no time for talkin'...  
or just wait around while the innocent die.  
No more, we're gonna lose everything... IF we believe all the lies.  
I may fall but I swear that I'll help you believe.  
No more, this one's runnin' up on empty... and there's no reason why.  
You may fall but I know that you'll help me believe."  
~ Boyce Avenue, "Dare To Believe"**_

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**_

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: In Rotation**

**EdwardPOV**

"Buuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

...A giggle.

I took a breath, "a-buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz."

Another giggle. This time, two hands met my face.

My life was complete.

Masen laughed as I lay on the ground beneath him, lifting and lowering his upside down body toward my face. Every single time I made the _buzz _sound, his entire face lit up with a grin as if he just won the lottery. With his sandy blonde hair and bright green eyes, his joyful expression was heart-warming. He was so easy to please. And that made me easy to please as well.

"Buzzzzzzzz-zzzzzzz-zzzzzzzzz!"

"Edward," Emmett chuckled, scratching his head. "You've been doing that for an hour now. It's really fucking annoying."

"Watch your mouth," I replied in a sing-song voice. "We all know what happens to me if you don't."

"She ain't _my _wife," he argued.

"No she isn't. But if you care to keep me as your bud," I continued as I made a funny face at my son, "then you'll do as I say."

"So let me get this straight. You do what she says and I do what you say? Is that how this chain of command works? If so, when did I miss the memo?"

"I have to do what _you _say, Poppa," Alyssa chimed as she crawled up and over Emmett's lap, reaching for her school bag. "Is that how it works?"

He looked at her, then glared at me.

I grinned. "She has a point."

Alyssa giggled.

It was Tuesday. Tuesday was my day off from the hospital. Emmett and I tried as much as we could to spend Tuesday's hanging out together, with the kids. Bella usually worked late on Tuesdays, so it goes well for us most days.

"Besides, he isn't saying _that _word anymore, is he?" Emmett asked.

I smirked.

Ahh yes. My son. Not only was he a professional cockblocker, but he was also a little tattle-tale.

I guess it was my fault... I mean how was I supposed to know that right after 'ball', my son's second word would be 'fuck'? It came out more as an 'uck', with no f, but Bella swore up and down that it was what it was. I received couch duty that very first night he said it. She was not pleased with me. I learned one thing instantly from that situation: When the wife isn't happy, no one is happy. It's a mistake I will never make again.

"A-buzz-"

"EDWARD! _Please_!" Emmett groaned. He closed his mouth and kept his curse words behind his lips. But his eyes glimmered hatred toward me. I placed a bouncy Masen on my stomach and laughed at Emmett's red face. Alyssa laughed too.

Masen wiggled around, his little feet barely reaching the floor. Bella put him in blue shoes today. Blue shoes and baby blue coveralls over a white t-shirt and a newsboy hat. She spent most of the day with him, until she had to go to work. He tried hard to regain my attention, clapping my hands together. He loved to be flipped around and could play this game for hours. "Sorry buddy," I laughed. "No more bee's today. Uncle Emmett's being a party pooper."

"Poppa," Alyssa said as she accidentally bopped him in the nose with the book she yanked carelessly from her book bag, "I have homework."

"_Homework_," Emmett groaned. "What kind of homework does a first grader have?"

"This kind," she said, showing him a piece of paper.

Emmett studied it, furrowing his brows. "Baby, all you have to do is color in the pictures of the words that start with O's, see?"

"But what do I do with those?" she pointed.

"Um..." Emmett paused to read the directions, "Oh. I guess you color in the ones for the A's, too. I think you use a different color though, to show the difference... I think."

I smirked at him. "Hey, should you be showing her how to do that? You obviously can't read-"

My voice cut off when he discreetly gave me the middle finger when Alyssa wasn't looking.

I grinned and turned back to my son. "What are you staring at?"

Masen's grin turned lopsided.

"Little punk," I poked him with my fingers, making him squirm and forcing another belly laugh from him. "What are you staring at, hmm?" His laugh rang in my ears, and it made me laugh, too. He was happy, as usual. We got lucky with Masen. He was a joyful baby, only cried when he was sick. He loved music more than anything else. I knew he would. He's my boy, after all.

"Yo, E, what time do we have to be down at the site?"

"Victor said to meet the contractors at five."

He pondered for a moment. "Think we'll get it all done in two years?"

"We better. Two years is already half a year over my original deadline. Victor's pissed about it."

"I can't believe you're going to be working at the hospital for your first year as a resident _and _doing this children's hospital thing. It's not too late to pull out you know."

"Em, it's not happening for two more years, if all goes well. And, besides, it's what I want, and what Bella and I agreed upon."

"Just because the shit's in your name doesn't mean you have to do it immediately, all at once. Why don't you save taking over the children's hospital for, I don't know, like ten years down the road? When you're more settled?"

"We can handle it, Em."

"You say _we _but really it's _you _who has to work _both _jobs _and _distinguish between being someone who still works under someone else at the hospital, than going and being the big boss across the lake. Bella doesn't work all those hours, she has her normal job and shit to do here. It's you who's gonna be exhausted."

"She may not work the hours I'll take on, but she's still a big part of this decision. We are a family."

"Yeah but..." Emmett stretched and shrugged his shoulders, giving up. "Yeah you're right... I just worry about you guys. Everyone else around here is breaking up or getting a divorce or some other fucked up situation. I don't want that for you."

"Our marriage is solid."

"It needs to stay that way."

"Okay, _Oprah_," I chuckled. "I got it. You don't have to worry, okay? Bella and I are great. We knew what we were doing when we signed on for all of this. It's in the bag."

"Yeah, stop worrying," Alyssa chimed in, always in my defense, as she hugged Emmett's arm. "You worry way too damn much."

Our necks snapped as we both looked over at her in shock, then at each other.

I couldn't help but chuckle at Emmett's wide eyes and dropped jaw. "I had nothing to do with that. That's all on you, buddy."

* * *

**AlicePOV**

"Oh, Miss Brandon?"

"Yes," I hollered as I ran the needle through the back of the dress. I didn't dare tear my eyes from it. I would not rip it. This dress was more expensive than the rent for my studio.

My newest assistant and oldest best friend here in NYC, Jorge, waltzed in with his wrists folded and fingers hanging. He was as gay as they came. He may as well have it tattooed on his forehead. "Mr. Anderson is here to see you."

"Tell him I'll be out in ten."

"He's rather insistent."

I sighed and stilled my hands, before turning to face Jorge. "What is more important to me, Jorge? Clothes and clients, or men with large egos and possibly larger packages?"

He thought for a second. "Are you sober when this question is in negotiation?"

I tried not to grin. "Yes."

He popped his hip and tapped his chin, pretending to think on it. "Clothes, I guess."

"You guessed correctly."

"But if I may say, Miss Brandon... That man is beyond a ten. I wouldn't leave him waiting for long."

I grinned and returned my focus to the pearl white, laced fabric. "They love it when they are forced to wait on a woman worth their time, Jorge. You'll learn soon enough."

"Oh you're bad, miss thang," he grinned as he walked out, most likely to flirt with my man. Well... sort-of my man. Whatever he was.

Sasha giggled as she turned a quarter-inch to her side, so I could sew on the next string of beads. "I wish I would have known that before I said yes to Tom. I should have made him wait a while."

I grinned up at her. If she only knew.

Fifteen minutes later, she was off the pedestal and back in her normal clothes. I walked her through my design hall, toward the front door. She waved to Jorge and gave me a hug before leaving. Suddenly, two strong arms wrapped around me and hot breath floated down my neck.

"Hey, babe," he said as he planted a gentle kiss. "Wasn't sure you were ever coming out of there. Thought I was going to have to send a medic."

"You know how I get when I have an important client."

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I know," he sighed as he turned to face me. He kept his hands planted on my hips. They were warm and inviting.

I smiled up at him.

"I'm going to ask you out again," he said confidently.

"Oh yeah? When?"

"In about two seconds."

I rolled my eyes. "I might say no again."

"Come have dinner with me."

"No," I replied quickly.

Sean smirked and kissed my forehead. "I'll cook. Be at my place by eight. I'll send a car for you."

"I'm capable of finding my own transportation. This is New York City."

"I'm sending a car," he released me with a brush of his fingers beneath my chin, "no buts. We all know how independent you are, Alice Brandon. Now let someone take care of you for a few hours, okay?"

"When you say _take care of me_, does that come with happy endings?"

He smiled calmly, "Definitely." Then he walked away without another word, but not before he gave a wink to Jorge. Typical.

Jorge was in heaven by the time Sean left. With butterflies and floating hearts in his eyes, he waltzed over to me, grinning from ear to ear. "If that man asked _me _to come over to his place because he wanted to cook _me _dinner... girrrrlllll.... I wouldn't have made it to the doorway before I lay before the father for that one. He is tall, has long fingers, good hygiene, great smile, not to mention he's a freakin' detective and doesn't know a _thing _about _Armani_. What more do you want from a straight gorgeous man? What in the hell are you waiting for?"

I chewed the inside of my lip and studied his eyes for a second. I didn't have an answer. After searching and searching and coming up empty handed, I figured the answer simply didn't exist. "Good question..."

* * *

**JacobPOV**

I sighed and stared at my computer screen. The blinking curser mocked me, waiting for me to make a move.

I had no move to make.

To say that my life was anything like I predicted it would be nothing more than a fantasy. The more and more I thought about the choices and decisions I'd made along the way, the more I learned what it meant to really regret something, or wish you took a different route, even if you ended up at the same destination. There was always something else... some other road... some other answer... I just wished I knew what and where it was.

After everything had happened, Rosalie and I had basically excluded ourselves from anyone and everyone we'd grown close to. It wasn't by choice, necessarily. But if she said she didn't want to see anyone, I did whatever it took to try and keep her happy. Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to six months, and before I knew it, a year had passed and I'd barely spoken to anyone besides my boss and my fiancée.

Sure, I missed my friends.

Sure, I knew her sister and mom wanted to see us.

But I couldn't make her see them anymore than I could force her to stay in the room whenever they tried to come over.

I really didn't know what to do anymore. I wasn't sure if she blamed me. I wasn't sure if I blamed myself anymore, though it was easier to do so.

Could we have done something, said something, tried something else? Who the fuck knows. All I can tell you is we were here now... and that was about it.

Here. In an empty house, with echoing halls.

Here. Barely speaking to each other or anyone else.

Here.

Here was nowhere and all around us. Like a big and shiny medallion hanging up on a wall. _Look what you get, Jake. A life. Here you go. It's nothing if not a trial_.

I groaned and cradled my head in my hands. I had to go upstairs and check on her, see if she needed anything. I had to try again. Sometimes, it hurt to be around her. I felt her pain, her misery. All she cradled inside her head. It floated through me, whether she spoke or yelled or cried it out. It still came.

The depression was everywhere. It seemed to open up like a giant sea below my feet. Swallowing me up slowly. Lingering. Waiting to make it's biggest move, but reminding me it was always there and that there was no way to escape it.

I took a deep breath as I made my way up the steps. Shoved my hands in my pockets. Said a prayer. The door cracked open and the television flickered. There was no sound, as usual. She always had it muted.

I pushed the door open and rounded my shoulders, walking over toward the bed. She hadn't showered in two days. She stayed in her pajamas, wrapped up in these white sheets. "Hey," I said as I sat beside her. I was nervous when my hand touched her hip. Somedays she'd scream when I touched her. "You awake?"

She shook her head, telling me that she, indeed, was. But she refused to open her eyes.

"I made some soup... Want to come downstairs and try to eat something?"

She shook her head again.

"Want me to bring it up to you?"

She shook her head once more. Then she muttered, "I just want to sleep longer."

I sighed. Her first sentence in three days. And of course it was about sleep. It was always about sleep. She was so tired, so exhausted. Just a little more, a little more time...

"You should try to get up, walk around," I suggested. "Watch the sun go down. Could be good for you to get some fresh air, baby."

"I don't _want _air," she growled at me, kicking my hand off of her body. "I just want sleep. Is that too much to ask?"

"No," I whispered, defeated. "Of course not... But it'd really make me smile if you tried, Rosalie... I miss having you around... Miss seeing you sitting up in a normal position."

"There's a lot of things I miss Jake," she whispered, her voice low and soft again. "We don't always get what we wished for."

"...I know... But we have to try and settle for the second best. We can't give up."

"There is no second best."

"How do you know if you don't try?" I asked, trying not to push. I kept my voice as calm as possible.

"Trying gets you no where," she whispered weakly. "_We _tried. Over and over, we tried, and _nothing _worked."

I frowned and rubbed her back, before climbing off the bed. "I'll bring you some soup... I want you to try and eat some."

She didn't respond as I walked down the steps, nor did she move when I came back up with her dinner tray. I sat it on the nightstand and attempted to curl the covers back from her shoulders, but she latched on to it and shook her head. She was sobbing again.

I stilled and waited.

Time crept by.

"Jake," she whimpered, burying her face in the pillows. "Just go... Just... _go_."

Even though it broke my heart -- and I didn't even know how my heart was capable of feeling this much pain after all this time -- I did as she asked. I didn't want to argue, get her more worked up.

I went downstairs and sat, staring at empty walls with busted picture frames surrounding my office.

I did nothing.

There was nothing to do now but wait.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

"This one?"

"No."

"Why not?"

I glared at him, "because it's stupid."

"What's stupid about it?"

"You thought of it," I exhaled, flipping the next sticky note over.

"Bella, come on. It's the best tagline out of the bunch!"

"No it's not."

"I think you're simply jealous because I thought of it before you."

"Ryan, why would I think of _'It sucks harder and lasts longer than your previous instrument'_ as the best tagline choice for _Hoover's _new line?"

"Well everyone wants a vacuum that does its job well," he replied simply. "I think the tagline is universal."

"How is it universal?"

"It has puns in it. Puns about sex. And sex sells."

"No one cares about sex when they're vacuuming."

"Ohhhh, on the contrary. Try selling a vacuum to a fourteen year old boy with acne. The only way he's touching a vacuum is when his mother's not around and if it has an attachable, firm hose."

My mouth fell agape and I turned and stared at him. He grinned at me. "You would know this from experience, hmm Ry?"

"Oh yeah."

"Figures."

Typical Tuesday night at work. Ryan and I were forced to stay later than anyone else. I wanted to get shit done so I could go home and be with my family, and Ryan simply wasted time being a pain in my ass because he had nothing better to do. He liked my company and seemed to want to make it last a while longer than necessary because he knew that once he went home, it was a lonely night in front of the television with a few beers. He said the girls at the bars didn't go home with him during the beginning of the week.

The night usually ends with me punching him in the arm and telling him to go home before I staple his balls to my desk. We all know how attached to his balls he is, so he normally went.

I sighed and glanced at my watch. "We only have two hours left Ryan. Can we please try to knock out this tagline, so we can go over billboard ideas? Presentation is on Friday, you know?"

"I know, I know," he said, spinning a miniature vacuum model between his fingers. My stomach growled. That gave him an idea. "Hey, wanna order a pizza?"

I smiled, despite myself. "Sure. You order, I have to call Edward."

"Tell the fudgepacker I say hello. Ask him how Hell is."

"How about I hand you the phone and you tell him yourself?" I snipped.

Ryan smirked. "Don't tempt me."

"Would you like me to dial his number for you, Ryan? I'd be happy to pull out the stopwatch and time how long it takes for him to haul ass downtown, up to my office, and see just how quick he can beat your ass."

"Bella, we'll feed his ego, and we both know if it grows any larger, his head will indeed explode."

"You know he'll kill you one of these days if you keep pestering him and bothering me. He'll get to you before I do."

"So he thinks."

"So everyone knows. Order the damn pizza."

"I thought you were going to call him," he mocked me.

"I thought you didn't want to feed his ego?" I argued. "But if you insist..." I sighed and hit the first speed dial, and waited the two rings it usually took for Edward to answer.

My husband's voice sent me into a high frenzy, "Hey sexy."

"Hey. So I'm at work and we're talking about you and Ryan has something he wants to say to you." I handed the phone to Ryan with a grin on my face. "Go ahead. Tell him what you want to say."

Ryan glared at me and took the phone, before planting a smile on his face. "Hello, Edward Cullen. Would it be all right if I Bella stays out later? I think this tagline is going to take a few, um, days... we're going to be working extra... _hard_... on it, an-"

His voice cut off when I yanked the phone from his hand, stood up, and smacked him as hard as possible in the back of his head. "Edward, that was _not _what he-"

"Put him back on the phone."

I shivered at the tone of his voice. Sure, it was typical Ryan vs. Edward behavior that appeared to never have a finish line and had lasted so long that I could not remember where it started. Sometimes it was a little humorous, because Edward knew he had nothing to worry about, and Ryan knew he'd never have a shot. But... when buttons were pushed, it sucked. I wished I didn't call him, didn't egg Ryan on. I was stupid.

Reluctantly, I handed the phone to Ryan and mouthed _you're dead _to him. He sighed into the receiver, "Yeah?" I could barely make out Edward's voice through the tiny speaker. I do know that he was angry, because he was talking so fast that it was unrecognizable. Ryan's smile slowly disappeared. He didn't respond when Edward was finished, he simply handed me back the phone and walked away, pulling his own phone from his pocket to order the pizza.

"Edward?" I said. "Are you okay?"

His voice was as sweet as sugar. "Yes, I'm fine. What time are you going to be home, babe?"

"Um, an hour or so. We have to nail this tagline and maybe start on the billboard front. I'm sorry about what he said. He was just being an ass, but I'll take care of it."

"It's okay. I know you will. I'll go ahead and take care of everything here, get the munchkins bathed and in bed. Alyssa's staying over tonight since Em has to head to the _Amberelle _for that roof installation. And then, when _you _get home... and after we have lots and lots of... _us time_... I can put you to sleep too?"

I smiled. "Sounds good."

"K. Love you. Alyssa says hello by the way."

"Love you back and tell her I say hi and to take care of you. See you soon." As soon as I hung up, I took a second to keep my smile, before storming off to the corner and glaring at Ryan, who had just hung up with the pizza parlor down the street. "What did he say to you?"

"More threats," he shrugged. "I think he enjoys it just as much as I do."

"_Ryan_."

"No, no, I'm serious. I think he likes reminding everyone that you're his or whatever. He loves holding on to that possession, hanging it over other men's heads. I think he gets off on it."

I glared at him.

"I mean, come on. I'm a decent human being. I would never force myself on you, I would never make a move now that you have a ring on your finger -- _unless you made the move first or I'm highly intoxicated _-- and I would never, ever disrespect you in that way because I don't want to lose you as my friend or my partner. We all know that. I mean, if I was that much of an asshole, I would have done and tried you, but I haven't. So it's all a head game." Ryan smirked, "He probably thought I'd let down by now, but what kind of person would I be if I did that? Not me. And I'm true to who I am. Besides, it gives you an ego boost."

"I don't _want _an ego boost. My ego is fine where it's at. Besides, I have a _husband_."

"Hey, hey," he argued, hands in the air. "You asked me to not flirt with you as much a long time ago, and I've done what you asked."

I scoffed. It wasn't enough, "Do you honestly think that by not making a move on me that you're not crossing a line? Do you really think that your idiotic comments toward my husband don't disrespect me? I keep you around because you are great at work and you can be a good friend when you want to be. But you need to know how to take it down a notch or two, Ryan. I mean it. You need to learn. Because I will _not _be responsible for my actions if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time and I go off on you. And I don't _want _to go off on you. I want us to work together and stay strong as business partners. And I don't want my husband to go to prison for killing you. I know you'll never change who you are and I can't expect that but... can't you just be good while we're on the clock? Is that too much to ask here? And can you please, please, STOP badgering my husband?!"

Ryan frowned at me.

I crossed my arms, "It's not going to work, Ryan. Only my husband's and my son's puppy eyes work on me."

"Fine. I'll... cool it."

I scoffed, testing him He didn't move. With a reluctant sigh, I caved, "You need a girlfriend, Ryan."

"I had a girlfriend."

"She lasted eight days!"

"She was my girlfriend though. I asked her out."

"Yes. Then you dumped her because she threw up in your bathroom."

He chuckled and walked back to where we were sprawled out on the floor with all the papers and poster boards and sticky notes. "She spent a long time in there. It's disgusting. It stunk."

"Everyone throws up Ryan. Even you. Besides she had food poisoning!"

"Men don't want to imagine women puking, Bella. It's that simple. I'm sure that when you puke, Edward's plugging his ears and his nose and humming lullabies to himself to stay relaxed."

I rolled my eyes. "No, Ryan. He's usually right there holding my hair and giving me a cool cloth. Because he's a _real _man who can handle _real _life. Argh! Let's just get back to work so I can go _home_."

He studied my eyes for a moment, and finally caved, putting on his adult face. He knew I was fed up.

"All right," he exhaled, lifting a few spreadsheets. "So what we need to do is, pull these out, maybe whip up some cardboard cut-outs of different vacuum accessories, some blue prints. Oh and we can call Don Jackson. I know he'd be more than happy to get in touch with those PR guys who'd be able to call a couple shots for us, maybe give us more of those acrylic samples? And if we go with the tagline you suggested... the one about the three-for-one deal..."

As his voice went on and he got down to straight business, I shook my head and smiled to myself. When Ryan kept his head in the game, he was the absolute best to work with. Ryan's Jeckyll-and-Hyde personality was both a trick and a treat. Edward and I both knew it, which was why he supported me in putting up with it. He knew I could handle my own. Thankfully, Edward never forced me to bring the disagreements with Ryan home. I just had to keep them both in their places.

I've been doing it for almost three years now.

* * *

**JasperPOV**

Hands slapped the desks.

Feet stomped the floor.

The classroom divided on two sides, with me standing in the middle.

I started the stopwatch.

"Civil war began in?"

"1832!" Jesse shouted.

"_Errrrr_, wrong answer." The class roared. "Blue team, have a response?"

Alexander stood up. "1861, Mr. Whitlock."

"Ding ding ding," I said, running up to the chalkboard and marking another line beneath their name. "Fifteen seconds remaining, blue team care to tell me when it ended?"

"1865!" Tom shouted over everyone's answer.

"Yes, and double points for getting it before time ran out." I received mixed responses from my class, and had to run over and close the classroom door because it was getting too loud. I chuckled to myself. "Red team, you're slacking."

The red team groaned and put their heads together as I pulled another paper from my hat. "Red team, for a large and much needed point... Can you tell me how many soldiers were killed by the end of the Civil War?"

I hit the buzzer as they debated back and forth, and the blue team whispered a response to each other, just in case the red team couldn't make it.

"Fifteen seconds."

"1,030,000 casualties!" Jesse shouted, slamming her book closed.

"How many _soldiers_?" I clarified.

"620,000!"

"Ding ding ding! Double points awarded for answering before the buzzer. Blue team, they're on to you..."

A paper airplane flew across the room, thrown by the blue team. I narrowed my eyes at them, "Blue Team, if you get this answer wrong, there will be a point deducted for foul play. Tell me, what was the name of the battleship that fired the first shot that began the Civil War?"

The classroom filled with a loud hissing sound as everyone began whispering. I watched each of their faces turn red. No one knew the answer. "Ten seconds."

"Um, um," someone said, flipping pages of their book.

"Five seconds.... Three, two, one, _errrrrr_, time's up. Red team, do you have an answer?"

"The Merrimac!"

"Yes, The Merrimac! Feel free to crumble up that airplane. It has been destroyed, and you gain a point while the blue team loses one. Booo, blue team."

The red team booed them.

I laughed. "Anyone's game now... How many women disguised themselves as men to fight in the ranks?"

"300!" They both shouted at the exact same time.

"Oh, and we have a tie breaker... And it looks to be the last question of the day here so make sure you know it before shouting it out... Any team can take it. Who's gonna win, hmm? Whoever can tell me both answers... At the Battle of Shiloh, on the banks of the Tennessee River, more Americans fell there than in all previous American wars combined... How many casualties were there, and who was captured but survived?"

"Confederate Private Henry Stanley!" Jennifer from the red team shouted.

"Yes, he was captured but how many casualties?"

She put her head back in her circle, debating again.

"25, 000 casualties?" Dean, always the loud mouth, from the blue team asked in question.

"Errrr, wrong answer. Red team, if you get this correct, you win."

Jennifer slowly raised her hand. "I think I know it."

"What is your answer?"

"...23,700 casualties?"

I pursed my lips, drawing it out. They all gawked at me. "Anndddd... we have a winner!! Red team wins, red team wins!"

The class was in an uproar again as I passed the bucket of candy around, rewarding them. "As promised, red team does not have to take the quiz tomorrow, and gets to enjoy a movie in the library while the blue team... you guys better study up! Pop quiz for all of you tomorrow."

The blue team booed me while the red team praised. I grinned and said goodbye as they left after the bell rang.

I relaxed in my chair and graded papers during seventh, which was my free hour of the day. Sometimes I left early, but today I had plans, so I figured I'd get some work done. The hour flew by and before I knew it, there was a knock on the door. I hopped up and opened it, and a smile spread across my face. "Hey you." I let her in and closed the door, to drown out the noise from the hallways as the kids gathered their things and left the building.

She smiled and wrapped her arms around my neck, giving me a big hug. "Oh, I thought this day was never going to end."

"Mmm, tired?" I kissed the top of her head.

"Exhausted," she sighed. "And my feet hurt."

I looked down at her red high heels, "Yeah, those look like death traps."

"They are."

"Why don't you come over to my place? I can give you a massage... cook you a nice meal... you can stay over if you want?"

Angela looked up at me and smiled, brushing her fingers along my neck. "That sounds perfect."

I bent down and kissed her, thankful to have her lips against mine. I hadn't seen her all day. We couldn't spend lunch together because she had to prepare for a test fifth hour. I was glad to have this moment. I missed the way she tasted.

I hummed against her lips and ran my fingers through her hair, before frowning when she pulled away. "I have to get my things and put some gas in my car, and then I'll be over, okay?"

"Sounds good. Do you want stir fry tonight?"

"Yessssss, that sounds amazing."

I chuckled. "Stir fry it is. I'll see you when you get there. Be careful driving, it's raining out."

She smiled and tucked the hair behind her left ear. "I will."

After she left, her smell lingered around my body. I inhaled slowly and fumbled for my keys. Tonight, I was going to do it. No objections. I wouldn't find a reason to fault my choice.

Tonight, I was going to ask Angela if she wanted her own key to my house.

* * *

**ColleenPOV**

I took a deep breath and spun around in the mirror. Cute peep toe heels. Faded, jean mini-skirt. Off the shoulder white blouse. I added simple hoops and no extra jewelry. I didn't want to look like I was trying too hard.

Sighing, I sat in front of my vanity, and applied some bronzer, dark mascara, and blush. Why was I so nervous anyway? It's not like the man had never seen me naked before. And it's not like I'm not hot. I _am _hot. At least... I hoped, he thought I was hot... He had to think I was, if he saw me naked, right? ...But then again, he was drunk that night... What if he doesn't even remember any part of it? ...Who says he's gonna see me naked tonight, anyway?

I chewed my fingernail. I was a wreck. My heart pounded in my chest, and if I hadn't had the fan blowing directly in my face, I would have sweat off the freshly applied makeup. I tried to call Bella for moral support, but she wasn't picking up her phone. It was getting late. She was probably on her way home to get some from her sexy husband. There was no way she'd answer during that, not that I'd blame her. Edward Cullen seemed to be the type that made sure he earned all of your attention.

Before I psyched myself out, I spritzed some perfume, grabbed my bag and keys, and sprinted out the door. I tried to turn on some mood music in the car, get myself pumped up and excited about the possible seduction that could be taking place in a little while, if I played my cards right. But all that was on the radio was that really annoying song with the lyric, _'I like to move it, move it, I like to move it, move it_..' and another really annoying song that sang, _'I'm like a bird, I'll only fly away_...' Neither helped me, they only gave me a migraine. No radio it was.

I tried Bella's phone again. Still no answer. She was no help.

I pulled up in the vacant parking lot of Emmett's first club, _Amberelle_, and made my way through the heavy doors and up the two flights of steps to his office. He looked incredibly handsome sitting behind his desk, wearing nice fitted denim jeans and a black dress shirt. Just seeing him made my insides twist in wrong but delightful ways. If we didn't have dinner plans, I would have climbed over this desk and straddled his chest. _Damn making plans in advance._

"Hey," he rose from the desk and stepped around to give me a hug, "you look..." He blinked, checking me out. He didn't finish his sentence.

"Nice?" I offered.

He nodded slowly, "Yeah. Nice."

"So what did you tell Edward?"

"I told him I was working with the contractors tonight. What did you tell Bella?"

"That I had a date," I answered simply.

"Did you tell her who with?"

"No. I probably would have if she had answered her stupid phone when I needed a little moral support. But she didn't."

He smirked and grabbed his wallet and phone from the desk. "Yeah, if she's at home, she's probably got her entire body filled with different pieces of Edward."

I rolled my eyes at him. "So where are we going to eat? You never told me earlier."

"It's a secret spot."

"Ohhhh, nice," I laughed. "Hopefully not the back of the dumpsters."

"Dumpster diving is reserved for the second date."

"Mmm, something to look forward to."

We rode in Emmett's Eleanor mustang, down to _Mi Casa_, a hip, new Spanish restaurant just east of the strip. We chatted casually while we took our seats and placed our order, but didn't feel the need to speak just to take up time. We didn't get into an actual conversation until after our meal had been placed in front of us. And, one subject seemed to be off topic for _most _of the night: _Alyssa_.

"So," Emmett grinned as he peppered his food, "tell me about work. How's it going?"

I rolled my eyes. "Work is work, but I _hate _Ryan Danvers. I wish he'd fall into a big pot hole."

"You and Edward seem to share that desire."

"It's not like _that _though. I just hate him because he's good."

"Good?"

"Yeah. At his job. It's really annoying, competing with him all the time. I never get noticed. Bella got lucky, because he selected her as his partner when we first started. Said he liked her spunk, knew she had potential. But if they weren't partners, she'd be stuck at the bottom with me. She knows it just as much as I do. And I'm not _jealous _of her, please don't get me wrong. She's earned the right to be where she is, to be by his side, and maybe even surpass him if she stays focused, which she will because she kicks ass. But Ryan himself... he's just... he _knows _he's good, and he's like, always checking over his shoulder, seeing who's behind him. He knows how to knock people down, how to protect his blindside. He knows the exact buttons to press in order to please the suits and retire the rest."

"Does he ever hit on you?"

I shook my head fast. "I'd unscrew his balls so fast, he wouldn't know what to do with himself. Ugh."

"You don't find him attractive?" Emmett pressed.

"I did when we first started," I admitted with a shrug. "But he has this _attitude _with all the other girls... like he doesn't give a shit. He's polite and chipper to them, but there's this under-layer about him... I don't know how to describe it. I guess it's like, _'Okay, you're doing your job, well done, now I'm going to go into my big and shiny office and kick ass. Have fun'. _Even when he's kind, he's cocky."

"How does he _really _act around Bella? When he's not pestering Edward I mean," he laughed.

"It's actually quite interesting."

"How so?"

"He's... protective... of Bella."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He only really flirts with her when he knows Edward's going to be in touch. Other than that, he's... normally focused. He always does his part of the job, he always gives that extra ten percent. But she has to grab him and make him pay attention some times. They work extremely well together. They have a good balance."

"How so?"

"Um," I chewed slowly and swallowed. "Like, she'll have to reel him in if he gets too unfocused or out of control, and he'll pull her out and shake her loose when she's too introverted and thinking inside the box. Any big account he nails, even if it's a solo event, he takes her with him. Introduces her to new people, potential clients, big suits. He gets her well-known in the game. He shares all his wisdom, all his tips with her. All his clientèle."

"He really protects her...," I continued as I swirled my pasta around my fork. "Defends her to the boss and stuff. One time, he almost got fired because Bella screwed up a giant presentation when she first started, with _HP_. But he defended her, hard, strong, sure, though she begged him not to. He said if she went, he went. And they weren't even close then! But... though he was in hot water for a month after, he never regretted doing it, because he knew Bella could rise to the occasion, and she did, when _HP _gave her the chance to resell. Ryan's more like her big brother than anything. I know that sounds weird, considering their history and the way he'll tease her, but it's the only way I can describe it," I laughed. "I think... that he's just lonely. I think Bella's been the only woman that's looked at him and seen potential, not just a _dickhead_, like the rest of the floor. She says she sees the good in him and for some reason, she can bring it out."

"Sounds like you're a closet Ryan fan," Emmett teased.

"No, no, no. Like I said, he's just good at what he does."

"How good?"

"Well... He had a presentation with _Sony _a month ago. Mr. Collberry wouldn't let him bring Bella, gave them individual assignments for the first time in... who knows how long. So Bella sat beside me and we watched it from the green room. And honestly... you couldn't take your eyes off of him. He has a charisma, a passion, a love that you can see in his eyes for what he does. He makes you believe you need a new, state of the art, 62-inch plasma flat screen with gloss finish and surround sound more than you need oxygen. Like your life will not be complete without it. He's... brilliant."

Emmett nodded, "It's good that he can swing it. Some people know what they want out of life, and they put their all into it... And other men... we think we know what we want, and then when we get it, we're... fish out of water. Flopping around, trying to figure out how the hell we ended up where we were when all we wanted was the bait."

"Is that where you are?" I asked tentatively.

He studied my eyes. "Sometimes I feel that way."

"Because your dad did it first?"

Emmett frowned and shrugged. "Maybe. Growing up, I knew I'd take over one day. I knew I'd be great at it. I loved numbers, I loved the scene, I loved all of it. But what upset me was the fact that I would have gotten it all whether or not I went to college. It would have eventually been handed over to me, unless he wanted to lose everything to the State. Still... I chose to work my ass off. Chose to prove myself worthy of what was being handed to me, and... my father never got that. And because he never got it... it lost its value to me. Some days, I wake up and think I have the best job in the world... and other days, I wake up and wish I would have gone with my other passion instead."

"What was your other passion?"

"Nude modeling."

I looked up at him and threw my napkin his way.

Emmett laughed and tossed it back. "Cop. I always wanted to be a cop."

"You'd be the first cop in history that I know of who has taken drugs."

"I haven't done drugs in two years," he shrugged earnestly. "And besides, there's a lot of crooked cops out there. I just wouldn't be one of them... and I'd get to tackle people all day long. How much better would it get?"

"It's not too late, you know. You could still do it."

"No," he shook his head. "I watched Bella's heartbreak when she lost her father in the field. I won't do that to my daughter."

My heart fluttered but I tried to keep the composure on my face. "People can get hurt in any job, Emmett. They can get hurt driving to their job."

"I know," he nodded. "But I've chosen my life and I plan to follow through with it."

"Did you choose it, or did someone choose it for you?" I countered, hoping I wasn't crossing a personal boundary.

He studied my eyes calmly. "My father may have chosen my career for me, but... I chose to keep Alyssa. She was the one thing that I didn't have to reconsider or plan out. I know I could have walked away, but I didn't think it for a second. Never in my entire life had I ever been more certain of anything else, and that's _huge_, coming from my lips.. ...She's _good _for me. She doesn't know it yet, but she's really straightened me out."

"Really?" I asked, though my voice was breathless. I didn't know if he could hear me until he nodded.

"Yeah... I told you I haven't taken drugs in two years, and I owe that to her. And now she gives me a curfew on Sunday through Wednesday. And taught me how to cook... not always well, but I try."

I giggled. "But no one night stands?" I teased. "That has to suck."

"It did at first, I'm not going to lie," he laughed in confession. "But... I don't know man. I guess I quickly realized that I'd rather come home to a little girl holding a teddy bear than go to some strange woman's house on the other side of the city, for a few hours, and then feel like shit when I went home alone."

I blushed and looked down to my plate.

That was why I developed a serious crush on Emmett six months ago. Answers like that. Or simple actions like holding my daughter and throwing her in the air, or allowing her to paint pink hearts on his face for Valentine's Day. Sure, all men were crazy about her. But Emmett seemed to... really _understand _what she was about. Like they were best friends or something... Maybe they were?

Dinner was excellent. I offered to pay at least half, but he wouldn't allow it. We didn't hold hands in the car. He didn't try any suave moves on the way back to the club. I stayed and chatted and hung out while he filed paperwork and then I helped get things set up for the opening in a couple of weeks. After that, he walked me to my car and kissed my cheek, lingering momentarily, before telling me that he had a great time and that we should do this again if I wanted to.

Of _course _I wanted to. The slightest feel of his lips sent me into a tangled frenzy. But it was much more than that. I _enjoyed _him. I realized how awesome he was. How caring and focused. And I admired him for that.

I went to sleep in my warm bed in my empty house, and even though I was sexually frustrated, I was happy where I was. As it turned out, I was really happy that Emmett didn't try to have sex with me just because that door had opened before. It proved what a great guy he truly was.

But honestly?

I never doubted that in the first place.

* * *

**BellaPOV**

I crept through the front door of the house a little past ten. I knew that the kids would be asleep, and Masen woke up if the dogs barked or at any noise that was louder than a pin dropping, so I had to be extremely quiet when I came home late. "Edward," I whispered as I kicked off my shoes by the door and slipped across the cold floors into the kitchen. There was a pot of sauce on the front warmer on low, and noodles cooking beside it. He always cooked early with the kids, then made more for me later.

Most of the lights were off. But, a few in the kitchen remained on but dimmed.

"Edward," I whispered again, looking down the hall. "Where are you?"

Suddenly something rushed against me, and a warm hand covered my mouth. I shivered when his lips touched my ear. "Shhhh, don't say a word."

Though my lungs were about to burst and my body stiffed in excitement, I smiled against his warm flesh. His left hand roamed down the front of my shirt, ghosting over my left breast. "Hmmmm," his voice vibrated as he pressed himself against my back, "do you have anything valuable on you?" His hand stopped on my ass. He filled his palm up with it. I didn't speak, following his instructions, but I'm sure he caught on since my heart threatened to escape my body. I shivered when his teeth nipped at the side of my neck. "Where's your husband at? Hmm?" He pushed me closer, pinning me up against the wall. His voice was so low, I barely heard him. "Where's your husband at to protect you when sick and twisted intruders like me come in here to take all you have?"

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, fighting back a moan as he pulled my shirt from my slacks.

This was all a part of my treatment. We had stopped regular therapy two years ago, but remained in touch with Alicia casually. About three months earlier, she suggested impulse trust exercises. The scenarios could be ones we both decided upon, things that addressed past issues in our lives. When the subjected scene in which Edward would attack me came up, we were both understandably nervous. She suggested Edward play up that role a little bit, as long as I didn't get scared. That way, anytime a flashback would come -- which was very rare these days, thank God -- I could associate it with Edward instead of James. If my brain focused enough on Edward, then I could calm myself quicker. Eventually, she claimed that my flashbacks would melt away, and I wouldn't have to think of James at all anymore. Just Edward. I wouldn't have to think of the assault, just the trust that existed between my husband and I.

Once I wrapped my head around the idea of how and why it would be helpful, it made a lot of sense. And it's been made clear that I sometimes liked him to be a little rough. Edward, on the other hand, was more resistant. He told Alicia and I directly that it was for mostly one reason; that he was afraid of connecting himself with that experience in my head. But, he also admitted that he had tried that kind of role play before and had hated it, hated the way he felt being that way. The look on his face was downright comical when he explained that he had done some fucked up things in his life, but that had just been wrong.

It took Alicia and I a few conversations to sway him. But, once I did, we had noticed a lot of progress when my flashbacks came.

A hard body currently pinning me up against the wall in the hallway demanded my attention. As did the hands currently groping my chest. I tried to push him away from me with my butt, but a growl escaped his throat and he pressed back harder, creating a noise with the impact of our bodies against the wall. We stiffened for a moment, all role-play forgotten, to make sure none of the kids woke up. There was no stirring, no noise. We resumed.

His tongue trailed down the back of my neck below my hairline, and his fingers slipped beneath the fabric of my shirt, up toward my silky bra. "Shame. These feel delicious. Does your husband recognize how perfect they are?" I shivered and shut my eyes. I knew that, in the role-play, I was supposed to act frightened. But how in the hell could I be scared when his fingers knew my body better than they knew any instrument? "Tell me," he egged on, gripping the cups of the fabric and pushing the bra up toward my collar bone. "Does he tell you how good they taste on his tongue? I can only imagine what that must feel like, the peaks, your nipples... the hardening arousal of you, rolling around. Does he tell you how wonderful you taste, Mrs. Cullen?"

I pressed my forehead to the wall, pushing back with my ass again. He might think I'm trying to shove him away, but secretly, I just want more friction. More of him. "I bet he doesn't," he shoved me back against the wall, straightening my body. I had no room to move. His hands remained on my breasts, trapped between my body and the wall. And I was caught between that and his body.

All I could think about was how good he smelled and how warm his body felt against mine. But then I realized the noodles were boiling. _Damn me for being the typical woman. _"My husband's going to be here any moment," I fake-whimpered, pushing back from him. "He'll kill you if he finds you here."

"Who says he's gonna find me?"

_Shit... Water... I hear it boiling... Next comes smoke alarms_. But I didn't want to stop... _Think, Bella_. "He's fast," I quipped. "You won't get out in time. He'll catch you."

"I don't care if I get out," he growled, his hands squeezing and kneading my flesh firmly, "I care more about getting _in_." A moan escaped my lips at his play on words, and I pressed myself more firmly against him. I could hear the slight sizzle, knew that any second the water was going to boil over and go everywhere. I never hated chemistry more than I did at that second. With a heavy and resounded sigh, I muttered, "Pineapple."

Edward groaned and leaned against me, his hands dropping from my breasts and around my waist to secure his hold on me. Then he turned back into my gentle and sweet husband. "Baby, why?"

"I'm sorry," I whined, frowning as I pushed the both of us off the wall, and began to re-button my shirt, "the water's going to make a mess all over the stove and if the smoke alarms go off, we're going to have screaming kids on our hands."

Edward pouted and reluctantly followed me into the kitchen, "...I was really beginning to enjoy myself."

"We can always resume," I suggested, though I was just as down as he was. "After dinner?"

"No," he said as he sat on the counter while I removed the pot from the burner, "my mojo is gone now."

I looked at his pants and raised an eyebrow. "I beg to differ."

"I meant my bad-guy mojo," he chuckled, covering himself discreetly with his forearms. "Stop ogling me."

"I'm sorry," I giggled as I rearranged things on the stove, "it's telling me to come over and play with it."

"Only you would be thinking about my dick when there's food on the stove ready to be consumed."

"I think a lot of women would be thinking about your dick if they had the chance," I sighed.

He tilted his head and slowly pulled me to him, until I stood between his legs, "I missed you today."

"I missed you too. I'm really sorry about Ry-"

"Shhh," his fingertips brushed across my lips. "Let's not. It's senseless."

"I took care of it," I said quickly, so I could get it out there.

He smiled reassuringly. "I knew you would."

I nodded, before standing on my tiptoes to kiss his lips. Suddenly I wasn't so hungry anymore, although I hated the taco pizza Ryan ordered for us earlier and only had one slice. "Babies asleep?"

"Mmhmm," he replied, before kissing me again. "In Masen's room tonight."

"Why?"

"I let them watch a movie."

"Edward," I groaned. "How late did they stay up?"

"They're conked out, I promise."

"Alyssa has school tomorrow," I reminded him.

"I know, baby," he whispered, trailing his lips down my cheek, my jaw, my neck. "I have it under control. I'll take her before my shift."

I hummed as he began to lick and suck on the tight skin there, pulling me closer to his body.

"Did you remove it from the heat?" he asked, his hot breath cascading down my neck. I gave a nod and gripped his jeans.

"No more boiling water?" I shook my head slowly as he sucked harder.

Then he licked it, like he would a wound, after it was good and red and achy... like other parts of my body. "Wanna come upstairs with me?" he asked, his voice as smooth as velvet. Taking shallow breaths, I nodded again.

"Now?" he continued softly. I nodded quicker.

Edward slipped off the counter and grabbed my hands, quietly leading me up the steps. As soon as we were inside our bedroom and the door was closed, I pushed him against the door and slammed my body up against him, attacking his mouth with all the strength I had. I couldn't wait a second longer. Every time I was with him, and I do mean every single time, it was as if I was running against a clock. I had no control over my body and didn't want any control. I just wanted to feel him, and taste him, and guide him until he was so far inside of me that he would need a map and a compass to find his way back out. But even then, it wouldn't be enough. Never enough. Ever.

Edward's hands roamed my body as I pulled on the white t-shirt he was sporting, with some rock band on the front I didn't recognize. I didn't care. I just wanted the fabric off of him. "Arms," I panted, and he immediately did as I said, helping me pull the shirt off. We released it at the same time and crashed back into each other, breathing heavily through our noses. We slid across the wall and his hip accidentally hit the doorknob. "Shit," I laughed against his lips, "I'm sorry." Edward spun us around as he unfastened my pants, tugging me against him then pushing me back as he walked.

I decided we were entirely too far apart and rushed forward, slamming into him. His hands found my hips and he spun us around again. I assumed he underestimated how far our bed was from where we stood, because, when he sat me down on it, I slipped off and we fell to the floor. "Shhhh," I laughed, covering his mouth as he groaned. I pulled my loose heel from his back and tossing it into the bathroom. Straddling his lap, I unfastened his belt as he undid my bra, before sitting up and flipping us around until he lay above me. The man was in one of his feisty moods. I could tell as soon as he grabbed me earlier. There seemed to be no signs of him settling down anytime soon. It was either going to be a really long or a really fast night.

His tongue found my chest and he licked all the way up, over the base of my neck and across my bottom lip, before diving inside my mouth. He tasted amazing, as usual, but there was a rawness to him that came out only once in a while. A desperation, a yearning in the way he breathed, the way his fingertips grasped at me. I love feeling that desperation. I threw my legs around and yanked him down on me, desperate to feel him between my thighs, even if I was still clothed. Edward kept his mouth firmly above mine but wouldn't apply pressure as he pushed my pants down past my hips. I tried to help kick them off, but they wrapped around my ankles and became tangled. I whined in frustration. _How hard was it to get naked?_

Edward chuckled and kissed down my body, until he pulled the pants away from my ankles and threw them against the door. Then he kissed his way back up, making sure to linger over the one garment that remained between us: a pair of black cotton panties. I drug one leg up his arm and threw it over his shoulder, because hell, if he was going to tease me like that, I might as well try and keep him there for a little while. Edward grinned and shook his head, pushing up until my leg slipped down to the crook inside his elbow. He paused and glanced over at it, before his grin turned mischievous and dark. Then he took his right arm and tucked it beneath my left knee, bringing my other leg up in the same position.

I grabbed him by the opening on his jeans and yanked him down onto me as hard as possible, until the pressure of his body gave me what I wanted. Edward panted as I arched my back, pressing my bare chest into his. "Shit," he chuckled, as my hands between our bodies lowered his jeans. By lifting his hips and using his feet to help me remove his jeans, his upper body forced into me. I latched onto his hair and tilted his head, biting the side of his neck. Edward pressed his center back down between my legs, freed his jeans, and cursed as softly as possible under the circumstances. Masen's room was caddy-corner from ours, and sound traveled well. We knew that all too well by this stage. It wouldn't be the first time we woke him up by being too loud.

"Edward," I gasped, rolling us over and straddling him again. I slipped down his body before he could catch me and yanked down his briefs, while he laughed at my feistiness. My eyes lit up as his sexy body sprang forward, and my hands grasped his form tight. I licked my lips and began to lower my mouth over him, but Edward's finally caught me and he stilled us, breathing heavily, "Wait, baby." I looked up at him with my mouth wide open, in shock. He'd better not be resisting me. I'd been thinking about doing this to him all day.

He laughed, the arrogant son of a bitch. "Come on," he actually stood up and forced me to release. _Damn him_. I growled impatiently as he grabbed the baby monitor, pulled me into the bathroom, and shut the door. Then he sat the monitor on the marble counter and turned on the shower. I glared at him in question. Edward grinned and pulled me into him, "Water will drown out some of the noise," he explained before lifting me, panties and all, into the stream. I gasped at how cold it was and cuddled up to him, begging him to make it warmer. He laughed and adjusted the nozzle behind him.

Our shower could thankfully fit a large group of people, so we had no problems moving around. Our kisses that started slow quickly became a frenzied rush, and we were back to grabbing and pulling at each other. The marble wasn't comfortable when I was on my knees for long periods of time, but there was no way anything was stopping me again. I stared at him while I licked slow circles around the head, and grinned inwardly when his lips parted. His green eyes seemed brighter in the shower, deeper and glowing. His soft fingers massaged my shoulders, trailing to the back of my neck as I took him fully in my mouth. I couldn't help but hum in delight at the taste of him. I could never get enough, never wanted to stop. He was more than a drug. He was the entire universe, spinning around me. The Earth would stop before I quit loving him.

His fingers moved into my wet hair and he inhaled sharply as I took him deeper. I took my time massing the base with one hand and his balls with the other. A shiver ran through his body, encouraging me to push deeper, to move more sensually. Most of the time, he let me do my own thing, but tonight, I noticed his hands on my head, setting a gentle, steady pace. It amazed me, how much I liked to do this for him, when I hadn't ever liked it before. But there was something about Edward's body... every single centimeter of it... I loved it all. I wanted to worship all of him with my hands, my mouth, my body. I wanted to make him understand that I still loved and still desired only him, more than I did the first day we met. Every day, it was more. More things I noticed; a freckle on his neck, a birthmark, stubble he'd missed shaving. I loved it all, because it made him. And there was nothing about him that deserved less love and attention than any other part.

"Shit, Bella," he panted, more shivers rocking his frame. He leaned forward, not only pressing his forehead against the side wall of the shower, but pushing himself further down my throat. One hand steadied himself so he wouldn't fall, while the other remained calmly on the side of my head. He didn't need to guide me anymore. I would know that pace by heart. He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself, but I felt him throbbing between my lips and knew he was close. So I sucked harder.

"Bella, Bella," he panted, grasping at my shoulders. With trembling fingers, he tried hard to move me back, or to step back himself, but I grabbed a hold of him firmly and pushed him closer to my face. I didn't care if he wanted to release anywhere else. This was where I wanted him, and he was _not _going to object to me. A loud "fuck" echoed around the bathroom, and I felt his grip tighten around the back of my neck. I held him a little tighter with my hands and licked across the head, before bringing him back into my mouth. That was all it took. He gasped, lost all control, and pushed deeper. I held him steady to make sure he didn't fall, and swallowed down my reward.

Once he could stand without stumbling, I released his hips. Edward lowered himself down, taking my mouth as his own. Moaning, I threw my arms around his neck, and he twisted me around, lifting me until he could sit by the drain. He placed me in his lap, my back against his chest. Keeping our necks turned, our kiss slowed while our tongues intertwined, slow and circular, over and over again. Our fingers wove into each other's hair. His free hand roamed down my breasts, across my stomach. "Spread your legs," he murmured against my lips, before sucking my bottom lip between his teeth. I did as he asked and he palmed over me, before applying pressure.

Gasping, I tightened my grip on his hair and pressed my mouth. I felt him growing hard again beneath me. He pulled his mouth from mine and dropped his forehead to my chin, regaining his breath. "You're so wet," he said, blinking drops of water from his eyes. It was streaming down his shoulders, along his biceps, between our bodies. I shivered as he slipped two fingers inside me and curled up toward my stomach. "_Ungh_," I moaned, lolling my head on his shoulder. "Only for you."

"Please say it again."

"Only for you," I shivered, my eyes closing as he set just the right speed.

"That's right, only me," he whispered, gently biting my shoulder.

"Edward, I can't,... I c-can't... _mmmm_," I tried to talk, but it was no use. He always overwhelmed me. Our sex life never grew old, and I knew it never would. There would always be another trick, some new move we'd find, some new adventure or scenario or emotion developed. I loved it way, way too much. So much so that I thought too much, in the car, at work. It was very distracting when I was trying to give a presentation but was focused on the little indent at his hips, or the way his bottom lip tasted.

"Relax, baby," he said, his free hand coming to massage my stomach, "I've got you." I nodded and took a deep breath, rocking without control in his lap. "You feel incredible on my fingertips," he whispered along the back of my neck. "You're amazing, Bella." A loud moan escaped my lips when he added another finger, and I covered my mouth, praying it didn't echo too much. I would _scream _if Masen woke up right now.

"Not yet, baby," he panted, pulling me deeper into him as his fingers moved faster, "not yet." I cried out again, scraping my fingernails across the bottom of the marble tile. All I could think of was how good it felt. He was playing me. I was his piano, his guitar. Over and over, he pulled melodies from my body. I'd sing for him every night if he asked for it. Hell, he didn't even have to ask. I sang for him in my sleep.

I shivered and threw my head back against his shoulder again, recklessly. "I'm going to come," I confessed, shaking my head. "I can't... I can't breathe..."

He slowed his motions, and without releasing, he lifted me with his free hand and helped spin me around. It was hard to straddle his lap when I was shaking like a leaf, but somehow we'd managed, and his body filled me where his fingers once were. Now, I was _really _in ecstacy. Moaning, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and planted my face in his neck. Every thrust up sent me into convulsions, and every thrust out pulled the butterflies lower in my body. Edward's hands remained on my back and hips, guiding me carefully but allowing me to move as I needed. The water from the different nozzles sprayed everywhere, across the walls, between our bodies, bouncing off the floor, in our eyes. I inhaled some of it when I gasped.

"So good," he murmured as I increased the pace. Selfishly, I was desperate for my release. I pulled one of his hands from behind my back and placed it between my legs. "Please," I begged, looking straight into his eyes. And holy hell, his swollen lips were parted and quivering at the sensations I was giving him, and his emerald eyes were dark and cloudy, and there was a red flush across both his cheeks, and his hair was soaking wet, weighed down, and spiked in the back from my fingers. He only touched me once, just _once_, and I was seeing stars. I couldn't speak my gratitude. I couldn't do anything but whimper, hold on tight, and ride it out until I was fully spent.

After, I felt a little bad for Edward in that moment. Since every part of me was tingling so badly that I had no control over my body, he had to support my weight, had to hold me until I could get a grip on myself.

But he didn't seem to mind, murmuring how much he loved me, how good I felt, how beautiful I was, all whispered lovingly across my collar bone and breasts so softly that it made me ache again. I arched my back and grasped his shoulders, giving him a better angle. The grunts that came from his lips both surprised and aroused me, and before I knew what was happening, I came all over again. My fingers slipped from his shoulders but he quickly caught me and brought me back up against his chest.

Edward pushed his gorgeous face between my breasts and kissed me for the thousandth time. I still couldn't move. I felt bad about it, but I was gone. He did all the work, sending more tingles from the inside out, until he whispered my name faintly and slowed, shuttered, and his orgasm jumped from his body to my own. I hummed and brushed through his hair, enjoying the feel of his erratic heartbeat against my stomach. It took a few moments before he lowered me all the way into his lap, then he hissed at the contact that brought between our connected bodies.

I loved it.

"Edward," I whispered, moving his head back until it fell against the wall behind us, "are you okay?"

His lashes fluttered closed and a faint smile crossed his mouth. "Mmhmm."

"Do you want me to get u-"

He shook his head, "No. Please stay." And his arms pulled me closer to him.

I nodded and wrapped my arms and legs around him again, giggling at the groan that escaped his lips. He let me bury my face in his overheated neck. We allowed the water to massage our tense muscles, as we settled back onto Earth.

Eventually, we showered and made it back into the bedroom. We dressed in warm pajamas and snuggled under the covers. We knew better than to sleep naked when our robes were in the hamper. It never failed that a baby would wake up and we'd struggle to dress ourselves.

Edward buried his face into the back of my neck and playfully fought with me for the remote, but he was too spent and I won. However, because I was nice, I turned it on the _Discovery _channel for him anyway and nuzzled into his warmth. Soon enough, my breath shallowed and I relaxed. I felt safe and secure wrapped up in my husband's arms. It was my happy place.

Right before I dozed off, we heard the sound of a baby crying, echoing beneath our door and in the baby monitor. I recognized their different cries immediately. Moaning, I started to sit up, but Edward stilled me and kissed the side of my cheek, "Stay. Sleep. I'll get her."

"...Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he smiled, applying another warm and tender kiss. "It's my turn anyway. And you'll be with them all day tomorrow."

I smiled into the pillows and snuggled deeper in the warm covers. "Thanks, baby."

He walked over to the door and gave me a sexy wink before opening it. "Anytime, love."

* * *

_----AUTHOR'S NOTES---- _

**So there we go, Chapter 37! _*sniff*_ My baby is all grown-up... It's time to hit that "complete" button... Bittersweet tears.  
**  
-- **AUTHOR'S NOTE**** : ** A couple people have pm'd or reviewed in honesty, worried that I might be careless with these characters and run them into the ground in the sequel, for whatever reason they may have. Guys, I understand and appreciate the fact that you have grown to love these characters so much that you feel a need to protect them and their happiness. I think it's great! That means I did my job well. But it's been a fun trip so far, and even though the path _will _have some bumps in the road, I personally believe the ending will have an amazing finish. So the song choice was basically my response to your pm's. If you think it's gonna be bad, and your mind is made up, then it will. If you think it's gonna be good, it will be. Only YOU can decide if the journey is worth taking. I simply write and offer you a ride if you want to tag along.

_**True Life: The Next Factor **__coming soon.  
(_It's still looking like **the end of November _or_** **beginning of December**, that way your brain can wrap around the new time jump, plus I might be going away the last week of November. )  
_Sneak peeks, posters, updates, etc on Twilighted & Facebook threads. Join if you haven't, and come chat with me. Love you all._

_PS. My new story __**Ragweeds **__has officially been launched. Read if you haven't, and if you're looking for a new E/B adventure. In profile._

I am also nominated for "**Best Author**" at the _Silent Tear Awards_. Link is in profile if you want to vote for your favorites, thank you.  
Predictions for TNF? Let me know at the bottom of the review. Good & bad ones...

**Reviews are better than all the fun mommy, daddy & baby times coming shortly... Not to mention the secret mommy & daddy sex! ;-)**


	38. Announcement regarding TNF

I've put this on my profile, right at the very top, but it's not being seen, so I wanted to post it here, too.

**+ ATTENTION:**

I'm very sorry, but **_"The Next Factor"_ **(the sequel to TEF) has NOT been given any new "official" posting date.** I will no longer respond to the daily pms asking about it, simply bc I do not have an answer yet. **At this moment, I'm not even going to try and give a "round about" answer. I apologize for the inconvenience I've given you, and understand any frustrations you may have, but I do not want to lead anyone on with another false date. Guys, honestly, I'm excited. I think about these characters every single day. I have so much planned for them in this next chapter. And I hate the waiting just as much as you, but these things take time.

When everything is sorted out and things clear up in my personal life, then** I will know the date, and you will too**. (Until then, if you want to read more of my work, there's always the current _Ragweeds_, located in my profile.)**  
**

I promise, the sequel IS coming. I'm not backing out on it but I ask for your patience and understanding until it's up.

**I do not want to force anything bc of the time crunch and give you a half-assed version of what the story is REALLY worth. **

You can respond to this if you have any other questions. I'll make a new chapter posting when the official release date for TNF is announced.

**I am extremely grateful that you're sticking around for it and my other stories, and that you have my back!!  
Thanks for all of your support, your offers to help, your encouragement, your understanding, recc'ing this to other people, everything! Nothing you do for me goes unrecognized. ILYVM. :)  
**XOXO,  
~A.

**PS** -- 1.) Make sure you check out and subscribe to my readers blog**, http://angelattwilight(dot)wordpress(dot)com/**, (actual link posted in profile, at bottom) for upcoming updates, teasers, posters, and news regarding_ "The Next Factor"_, as well as my other stories and much, much more. **  
**2.) I do not have an official song list for all the songs listed in TEF or any other story. If you want to listen/download any of the songs I've used as main chapter songs, check out my profile under "Chapter Details".  
3.) Yes, as part of "_MsKathy's Help Haiti_" AND "_Lion_Lamb Auction For Haiti_", I will be releasing a TEF outtakes to those who've bid on me (L_L) or donated a minimum $5 to Haiti (MsKathy's). (You can find out all the information regarding that in my reader's blog or on my twitter page (in profile). )


	39. TNF sneaksneak peek

Oh my patient, beautiful readers. I adore you so.

I was planning on giving a sneak peek of TNF to you all next week, but since I have a few persistent ones on Twitter (whom I love!) asking for a little bit now, I decided, what the hell, why not? You guys have waited long enough. So with that in mind, I will be providing the link for the _SNEAK_-SNEAK-PEEK tonight, and next week, I will EDIT THIS PAGE to let you know that the new (and longer) sneak peek is out.

Link: angieswenson(dot)livejournal(dot)com/53992(dot)html (also found in my profile).

Now tell me? Is there still hope? Are you excited, or has too much time passed? I'm nervous...


	40. TNF sneak peek 2

Oh my lovies. Your feedback for the minor sneak peek was amazing, thank you so much. (I'm sorry I haven't responded to all of the pm's sent to me, it was kind of overwhelming - and I am out of practice. Please know that I read them all though!)

Yes I am eating my words. I was going to edit the last sneak peek page with the new link, but I figured this way would be easier, because you'd get it immediately. So, I'm sure you guys won't mind a new page for the new peek, right?

Link: angieswenson(dot)livejournal(dot)com/55360(dot)html (also found in my profile).

Don't forget to leave me feedback if you can! Always greatly appreciated and trust me, it helps me stay motivated to keep going, despite the inner-voices in my head (who talk to me often), telling me it's too late.


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